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Crom has summoned a pair of writers for CONAN!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Lionsgate has finally shown some movement on their resurrection of CONAN hiring Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain to pen the newest filmic adaptation of Robert E. Howard's sword-swinging badass. The pair also scripted OUTLANDER which hasn't been released yet, but looks kickass. Viking and aliens... two great tastes that taste great together, right?

These two aren't proven yet, but they seem to be setting themselves up as potential geek idols if OUTLANDER ends up as cool as it looks and if they can knock a great asskicking Conan story out of the park. Thoughts?


Readers Talkback
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  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Can't...

    by Grrrr....

    ...wait.... NOT!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:44 a.m. CST

    Good!

    by Grrrr....

    Now there can't be any 'FIRST' posters.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:44 a.m. CST

    I'd rather they hire a director first.

    by MaxTheSilent

    Hiring two no-name script writers means that they're gonna be told what to do by producers and studio douches. Something like this needs to be made under the control of a strong director.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:45 a.m. CST

    Hmmm

    by boogy110

    I rather they just leave Conan alone. It's already a bad ass movie as is.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:46 a.m. CST

    CRRRRROMMMMMM!!!

    by caruso_stalker217

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:47 a.m. CST

    I also....

    by Grrrr....

    ...just noticed on the top right hand corner there is another SCORPION KING movie. What? didn't the first one suck enough....???

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:48 a.m. CST

    Conan starring

    by boogy110

    Jason Priestly!!!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:49 a.m. CST

    Rick Moranis as Conan

    by deanbarry

    I'd watch that...

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:50 a.m. CST

    Give John Milius a chance...

    by ComandrTaco

    or don't do it at all.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:51 a.m. CST

    Hope they do good

    by deanbarry

    And not just have a bunch of lame ideas stuck to a wall and choose which ones to use by throwing a dart at them. Here's to Conan not sucking. And oh yeah, Rick would rule as Conan. You know it!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:53 a.m. CST

    Rick Moranis is retired!

    by ComandrTaco

    He lives happily in Canada. Not even Conan could rip a man away from such earthly pleasures.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:53 a.m. CST

    They could be good writers, but Lionsgate seems

    by SpencerTrilby

    to be a shitty studio with no balls. If they butcher it like they seem to have butchered Punisher Warzone, the cred they gained with John Rambo will be tainted for good.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:57 a.m. CST

    so this wont be the story adaptations?

    by Prossor

    since they're hiring "writers" i take it they'll think up new stuff and once again not adapt the stories, but scavenge pieces from them?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:03 a.m. CST

    Hopefully it will closer to REH Conan then Milius Film

    by Xiphos_2

    I liked Conan the Barbarian by Milius but that movie was way more Milius version of Conan then Robert E. Howards.<p>Also, no body builders for Conan go with the leaner version and don't make conan dumb, he's far from stupid.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:06 a.m. CST

    HEY LIONSGATE RELEASE OUTLANDER!

    by Xiphos_2

    It looks like a fun, kick ass flick with Jesus and vikings fighting intergalactic dragons. That's cool.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:13 a.m. CST

    Rick Is Retires???

    by deanbarry

    Sumavabitch! Ok..then all I can hope is for Seth green to be available when they come a knockin. Also, Outlander looks cool. but where was the money shot? You know, the "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE" tagline???? For all those about to rip me, I jest :)

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:17 a.m. CST

    is Milius's script put there?

    by Circean6

    I've been wanting to read it for years, figured it would have crept up online by now...

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:19 a.m. CST

    Please let it be Conan vs Toth Amon...

    by warphoenix

    ...with thrice the amount of blood and general badass-ness of the colosseum battles in Gladiator.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:21 a.m. CST

    Blackman and McCain...

    by viks

    Sounds like a dream ticket!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:27 a.m. CST

    Its Really Happening?.Conan The ******* Barabarin

    by Redfive!

    First Red Sonia now Conan...what next Buckaroo Bonzai and MEGA FORCE...then Robot Jox.I cant wait for Hollywood to start remaking ENTER THE NINJA,REVENGE OF THE NINJA AND NINJA 3 THE DOMINATION.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:31 a.m. CST

    viks

    by debrislide

    for real??? goodluck to you if anyone tangible knows it is true. word....stupid.....

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:38 a.m. CST

    Scarlett Johansson and Blood

    by halberd

    makes this most interesting, and incredibly good on the eyes. great as a matter of fact. Pair that with a barbaric hero who has a bad case of bludgeon-happy and we get lots of violence to supplement the eye sex. It'll be like a 20 Oz. steak with garlic mashed potatoes on the side... a perfect fucking match. In the very least it's a $100 million R-Rated origins film, which sounds great, emphasis on R.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:42 a.m. CST

    A killer Script warrants a decent Director...

    by KillaKane

    If there was any justice it'd be John Milius or the Washowski's (someone with a strong sense of R.E Howard's character). Please no MTV hacks on this one, they need a solid talent to prevent this from turning into a 4th rate S&S schlocker.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:43 a.m. CST

    "Lord of the Ring"

    by The Sliver

    Did anyone else catch that?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:47 a.m. CST

    Yeah, same trailer music

    by eXcommunicated

    Started up right as the "Lord of the Rongs" credit comes up. Pretty conspicuous.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4:26 a.m. CST

    Lord of the Ring...

    by Laughing Irishman

    ...Ha! I'm guessing the trailer was outsourced?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4:32 a.m. CST

    Outlander trailer

    by TheAD

    I have a higher res version of the first trailer that fixes the typo: http://outlander.solsector.net/files/Outlander_Trailer2_h264.mov Regarding the two writers, they tend to try and play the material straight. Lionsgate also recently picked up their 'Amazon' script that's been on the backburner elsewhere for a while. It's part of what got them the Conan gig.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4:37 a.m. CST

    And yes, it's the international trailer.

    by TheAD

    The trailer from the actual production company is the one that start with Sophia Myles narrating. (I also have the international trailer dubbed in spanish which is kind of humorous)

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4:41 a.m. CST

    For one horrible moment...

    by kwisatzhaderach

    I thought it was going to be Kurtzman and Orci

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4:43 a.m. CST

    Conan Director

    by TheAD

    Also, Didn't Rodriguez say he was going to do a Conan movie after he finishes his last contractual film for the Weinsteins (also why he's only producing Red Sonja)?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 5:22 a.m. CST

    Outlander= The 13th Predator?

    by capitan_trueno

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 5:23 a.m. CST

    Verne Troyer as Conan

    by mrfan

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:19 a.m. CST

    I too was worried...

    by KillDozer

    you were going to say Orci and Kurtzman.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:27 a.m. CST

    Milius' King Conan or GTFO

    by judge dredds fresh undies

    That is all.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:40 a.m. CST

    GRRRRR

    by goatfever2007

    Not only did they make another Scorpion King movie, guess who's directing? Russell Mulcahy! That's right, the guy who directed the first Highlander and probably some other Christopher Lambert movies.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:46 a.m. CST

    That was pretty deep Amazing G

    by FlickaPoo

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    Release date?

    by Dazzler69

    Outlander looks great!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    FOR OUTLANDER!

    by just pillow talk

    Vikings and Aliens are like jelly and peanut butter.<p>Except different.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Too bad they didn't make this nine years ago...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...they could have wheeled out Sprague de Camp...gotten his old bones to work on it...would have been cool.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 7:36 a.m. CST

    David Twohy

    by palewook

    is the director that comes to mind for pulling this off. Nobody else will get visceral enough to make the action REH's Conan. <P> what he did in Riddick is the closest anyone has come to putting Conan on the big screen.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    For Outlander!

    by Jonah Echo

    Good to hear Conan stuff moving forward, and good to see it's not some hacks for hire, but I guess we don't really know. At this point, Im more anxious to get Outlander seen than worrying bout a new Conan movie.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    palewook

    by just pillow talk

    You're not the first I've seen make that recommendation, and I for one like the idea. I enjoy the hell out of Riddick.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Weird.

    by Yeti

    I was just saying to a friend last night that I was surprised Conan hadn't been re-made yet since it's been almost 30 years since the original with Ah-nold.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    It just won't be Conan without...

    by Jopapa

    Basil Poledouris's "Anvil of Crom"

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    For outlander!

    by toadkillerdog

    Is this our new home? I think we should take the top spot in our old TB, then jump over here

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    "Lord of the Ring producer"?

    by rev_skarekroe

    Someone doesn't understand the title of those movies.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    I, for one...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...have made that recommendation at least once. Say what you want about Chronicles of Riddick, but Twohy has the eye for Hyborian opulence and a good sense of how to shoot hand-to-hand combat. Also, a guy with Vin Diesel's physique would be perfect for the role, and not some body building freak.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:34 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    You're the guy who called Arnie's casting the "perfect match" between actor and Howard's character, which it most certainly was not. I don't think any of us need Hyborian theology lessons from you.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    M-O-M = biggest troll ever

    by DocPazuzu

    Seriously, has he ever met a talkback he hasn't attempted to attack Bay and Abrams in?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    What does...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...Abrams, Kurtzman, Orci, or Bay have to do with this?! Geezus! Your habit of dragging those guys into every single TB is ricockulous.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    M-O-O-N. That spells Crom!

    by Tom Cullen

    Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if these were good films or bad. Why we watched, or why we whined. All that matters is that R.E. Howard is adapted properly. That's what's important! Quality pleases you, Crom, so grant me one request. Grant me a great Howard inspired Conan film! And if you do not listen, then TO HELL WITH YOU!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    As for CONAN...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...I have no investment in the property. I never read the stories and could not identify with the Arnold film. However, if someone can conjur up something that looks fierce and smart for the big screen, I'll buy a ticket and lift a glass to Crom.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    Cock.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN!!!

    by HoboCode

    Pull my finger.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    The original Conan stories ARE amazing

    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    I agree with other posters - get thee some Robert E Howard stuff and check it out. They're grim, moody, and very well-written. Conan really IS Howard's creation. Subsequent writers turn Conan into an invincible lummox but he was actually a very canny, cunning character who spoke many languages and had a broad understanding of the world in which he lived. Plus Howard wrote some Cthulhu stories (he was friends with Lovecraft) and that otherworldly weirdness is in his Conan stories as well. Check out "The Tower of the Elephant." That's a really great story.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    You obviously either never read Howard's stories or are simply too dense to see how radically different they are from the Milius version. <p> I love the Milius movie, but it is NOT Howard's barbarian in any way, shape or form. If you changed all the names of people and places in Milius's movie, there would be NOTHING that would say that it's anything but an extremely well-made but generic sword & sorcery film. Even Milius himself said that he used to Howard material as an excuse to make his "viking movie". <p> Howard's Conan is a brutal, savage, fiercely intelligent barbarian who was born free and would never have submitted to slavery under any circumstances. Milius's Conan is a clumsy, shallow, drooling pit slave who was SET FREE from his life as a slave. <p> Using Shadows in Zamboula as an example of his cunning is ridiculous since every one of Howard's stories show Conan as being whip-smart. <p> Come back when you've actually read the stories.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    I think Rick Moranis...

    by Banzai Rootskibango

    ...would make a fantastic Conan.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    As did HP Lovecraft - his better known brother

    by Samson_K

    Sorry just being pedantic for pedantics sake

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Orion also has a similar edition of Lovecrafts work

    by Samson_K

    Both are great

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Rather see someone do Karl Edward Wagners Kane

    by Fred

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder - It's abundantly clear that...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!<P>THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!<P>THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!<P>THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!<P>THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Klytus_I.m_Bored

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Thanks for the recommendations.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    What. A. Cock

    by Lost Jarv

    seriously, what is wrong with you? <P>I like the way you now just ignore me and DocP- that's very mature. Is it because you don't have an argument?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    and I can assure you

    by Lost Jarv

    that it's harder for us to read your incoherent dribblings than it is for you to post them.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Twohy or... wait for it...

    by Pabodie

    Mel Gibson? I know it sounds absurd at first, but thinking of Apocalypto, I just think he could realize the ancient civilizations and action. Maybe. Just thinking out loud here. To me, Conan is going to be very much about casting. WWE stars or something like that and we know we have another AVP-style hit-job on our hands, and I wouldn't give em my $14. Give us someone who can really BE Conan and it could be better than Milius's movie (I love it, just saying). Who is Conan? It's a tough call to get the shirtless part right, and not have the guy look underdone, ala Beastmaster (or Prince of Persia), and still get the acting done. I got nothing here. Maybe pump some creatine into Viggo Mortensen? At least his intensity and fighting skills are there, and if this is King Conan times it might work. OK, flame on....

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Conan casting

    by DocPazuzu

    It has to be an unknown. Just about anyone else would bring too much baggage to the role. I doubt this will happen, however, and I'm sure it'll be a flavor-of-the-month deal.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Viggo? Nay.

    by DocPazuzu

    I like Viggo quite a bit but he's not right for the part. A bit too "soulful", even if he can be icy. Conan doesn't exhude the reptilian kind of menace that Viggo excels at.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Your recommendation was rendered moot by DocPaz's critique. Besides, I felt that Klytus_I.m_Bored deserved a shout-out. He doesn't try to draw attention to himself with over-the-top Abrams, Kurtzman, Orci, or Bay-hate shenanigans.<P>And to answer your other question, I write it down because I'm quick on the draw. It's true, too. Bay does COMPEL you. Otherwise, you wouldn't talk about him & Co. all the time. Some may call it...an unhealthy obsession.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Yeah, what General Crom said.

    by DocPazuzu

    OBEY THE INTERNETS!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Chitty - Neigh means Neigh!

    by toadkillerdog

    Hah! - Got you! 7-5

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Terminator/Aliens Cameron, Not Titanic Cameron

    by Pabodie

    Avatar will show if he still has the balls to do something like Conan, or if he's entered the "muppets in everthing" phase of his career. I'd love an R-rated Cameron Conan.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Speaking od Shadows in Zamboula...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...I love the pwnage Conan delivers here: <p> -------------- <p> Slightly taller than Conan and much heavier, Baal-pteor loomed before him, a daunting image of muscular development. His mighty arms were unnaturally long, and his great hands opened and closed, twitching convulsively. Conan released the hilt of his imprisoned sword and fell silent, watching his enemy thorugh slitted lids. <p> “Your head, Cimmerian!” taunted Baal-pteor. “I shall take it with my bare hands, twisting it from your shoulders as the head of a fowl is twisted! Thus the sons of Kosala offer sacrifice to Yajur. Barbarian, you look upon a strangler of Yota-pong. I was chosen by the priests of Yajur in my infancy, and throughout childhood, boyhood, and youth I was trained in the art of slaying with the naked hands–for only thus are the sacrifices enacted. Yajur loves blood, and we waste not a drop from the victim’s veins. When I was a child they gave me infants to throttle; when I was a boy I strangled young girls; as a youth, women, old men, and young boys. Not until I reached my full manhood was I given a strong man to slay on the altar of Yota-pong. <p> “For years I offered the sacrifices to Yajur. Hundreds of necks have snapped between these fingers–” he worked them before the Cimmerian’s angry eyes. “Why I fled from Yota-pong to become Totrasmek’s servant is no concern of yours. In a moment you will be beyond curiosity. The priests of Kosala, the stranglers of Yajur, are strong beyond the belief of men. And I was stronger than any. With my hands, barbarian, I shall break your neck!” <p> And like the stroke of twin cobras, the great hands closed on Conan’s throat. The Cimmerian made no attempt to dodge or fend them away, but his own hands darted to the Kosalan’s bull-neck. Baal-pteor’s black eyes widened as he felt the thick cords of muscles that protected the barbarian’s throat. With a snarl he exerted his inhuman strength, and knots and lumps and ropes of thews rose along his massive arms. And then a choking gasp burst from him as Conan’s fingers locked on his throat. For an instant they stood there like statues, their faces masks of effort, veins beginning to stand out purply on their temples. Conan’s thin lips drew back from his teeth in a grinning snarl. Baal-pteor’s eyes were distended and in them grew an awful surprise and the glimmer of fear. Both men stood motionless as images, except for the expanding of their muscles on rigid arms and braced legs, but strength beyond common conception was warring there–strength that might have uprooted trees and crushed the skulls of bullocks. <p> The wind whistled suddenly from between Baal-pteor’s parted teeth. His face was growing purple. Fear flooded his eyes. His thews seemed ready to burst from his arms and shoulders, yet the muscles of the Cimmerian’s thick neck did not give; they felt like masses of woven iron cords under his desperate fingers. But his own flesh was giving way under the iron fingers of the Cimmerian which ground deeper and deeper into the yielding throat muscles, crushing them in upon jugular and windpipe. <p> The statuesque immobility of the group gave way to sudden, frenzied motion, as the Kosalan began to wrench and heave, seeking to throw himself backward. He let go of Conan’s throat and grasped his wrists, trying to tear away those inexorable fingers. <p> With a sudden lunge Conan bore him backward until the small of his back crashed against the table. And still farther over its edge Conan bent him, back and back, until his spine was ready to snap. <p> Conan’s low laugh was merciless as the ring of steel. <p> “You fool!” he all but whispered. “I think you never saw a man from the West before. Did you deem yourself strong, because you were able to twist the heads off civilized folk, poor weaklings with muscles like rotten string? Hell! Break the neck of a wild Cimmerian bull before you call yourself strong. I did that, before I was a full-grown man–like this!” <p> And with a savage wrench he twisted Baal-pteor’s head around until the ghastly face leered over the left shoulder, and the vertebrae snapped like a rotten branch. <p> ----------------

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Karl Urban

    by King Kull

    Karl Urban would make a fine Conan, much better than the Governator.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Fuck James Cameron.....

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Why does he have this reputation of being some bad ass? Uhhhhhh......because of Aliens? Fake ass Marines in plastic suits. Wow....yeah, thats real raw and bad ass. Just fucking amazing. Cameron can tongue fuck the shit out of my ass........oh actually-- on second thought he just nose fuck the shit out of my ass with that beak.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    AND MEL GIBSON SHOULD DIRECT

    by King Kull

    That way we'll get an intelligent Conan film. Hey Mel, Conan even gets nailed to a cross in REH's story "A Witch Shall Be Born." Doesn't die there, though. Conan was a real man.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Classic!

    by DoctorWho?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    yes King Kull! Mel Gibson!

    by La Frog

    This Outlander trailer makes me fear this will be as bad as that horrible Pathfinder thing. Sweaty bodybuilders under blue light with ugly CGI effects and nothing but a pitch (vikings and aliens, yeah right). I certainly don't want to see these people take on CONAN! We need a film made by real men and not by boys who still masturbate on their comic books. We need Robert Howard to be respected for the heroic fantasy poet he is. Get Master Milius to write the screenplay and Mel Gibson to direct. Real. Men.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Everyone hates this new Conan idea but a few

    by ABking

    CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Thread Started Today at 6:34am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hope they still hire Milius for fan support: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/cont....54a2af8d3c57242 and http://www.moviehole.net/200814844-conan-gets-a-rewrite Link to Post - Back to Top Logged Jason93 SZ Forum Hall of Fame member is offline Joined: May 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 4,985 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #1 Today at 7:12am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another remake Link to Post - Back to Top Logged mark SZ Forum Hall of Fame member is online Joined: Jun 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,139 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #2 Today at 8:45am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What I don't get is how Lionsgate revived RAMBO with a 50 million budget (great for a Rambo film) and want to revive CONAN with a 100 million budget! The RAMBO series made billions with theater, vhs, dvd and merchandise sales....Arnie's two Conan films only made maybe 130 million worldwide (together)...not a billion dollar franchise. Does Lionsgate really think Conan will make gangbusters at the box-office to justify that cost! They would be wiser to spend 100 million on RAMBO 5 (I would never want that of cource). Link to Post - Back to Top Logged Andrew SZ Forum Legend member is offline Joined: Apr 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 20,895 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #3 Today at 9:53am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A franchise like BATMAN? The producers are on a strong strand of weed. Link to Post - Back to Top Logged makaveli SZoner Millenary member is offline GOOD TIME TO KICK, BAD DAY TO PICK. Joined: Feb 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 1,472 Location: THE NEXT WORLD Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #4 Today at 10:19am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ill be up 4 another conan makaveli Link to Post - Back to Top Logged -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- mark SZ Forum Hall of Fame member is online Joined: Jun 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,139 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #5 Today at 10:52am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's a wait and see... Link to Post - Back to Top Logged goldengloves SZ Forum Hall of Fame member is online Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 3,602 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #6 Today at 11:26am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is a disaster of freakin epic, EPIC! proportions in the making, Conan is good but its mostly because of Arnie, what makes Lionsgate think it a good idea to revive Conan with a 25 cent budget let alone $100 million!!!!!!!! the inmates are obviously running the asylum. Link to Post - Back to Top Logged -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- '' No sacrifice, no victory '' Andrew SZ Forum Legend member is offline Joined: Apr 2003 Gender: Male Posts: 20,895 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #7 Today at 11:29am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- goldengloves, I agree. I know I should keep an open mind, but this film is going to lose money and big time. Link to Post - Back to Top Logged goldengloves SZ Forum Hall of Fame member is online Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 3,602 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #8 Today at 11:36am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Remember Kull the Conquerer??? that was loosely related to Conan and created by the same guy Robert E Howard, it had a hot star (at the time) in Sorbo and bombed like no tomorrow. Link to Post - Back to Top Logged -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- '' No sacrifice, no victory '' mark SZ Forum Hall of Fame member is online Joined: Jun 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,139 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #9 Today at 11:52am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The questions are: 1. Who will play Conan---who dumb enough to try and fill Arnie's muscular shoes?! 2. When this new Conan film flops, will Lionsgate buy the KING CONAN script rights from the WB and give Arnie a call? « Last Edit: Today at 11:52am by mark » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged goldengloves SZ Forum Hall of Fame member is online Joined: Mar 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 3,602 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #10 Today at 11:54am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Triple H................................ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Link to Post - Back to Top Logged -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- '' No sacrifice, no victory '' mark SZ Forum Hall of Fame member is online Joined: Jun 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,139 Re: CONAN gets writers...100 million R rated film « Reply #11 Today at 11:56am » -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Triple "FAT" H compared to Arnie's build

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Mel Gibson should fucking direct

    by picardsucks

    Apocolypto was the epic bluprint MEL MEL MEL !!!!!!!!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 1:27 p.m. CST

    With John Milius as assist everything

    by picardsucks

    Perfection!!!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Idiots.

    by Irina Spanko

    They don't need to *write* a Conan story, they need to *adapt* one.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Our new home

    by toadkillerdog

    Hiya folks. The Coc has taken up residence here.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Woody Allen to direct Conan!

    by Jonah Echo

    Conan:Sumerian Samba. It will be beautiful.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    Give Tarsem Singh a shot at it.

    by Jonah Echo

    If he worked on a grasp of action, he could probably make a really great version of Conan. I say this based on The Fall, not based off of the Cell.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Hah! Roland and Conan...

    by just pillow talk

    Since he fucked up on 10,000 BC, and couldn't even make that an entertaining cheesefest, he should stay away from any Barbaric tale.<p>Me thinks those how enjoy Conan would not want to see Roland near this.<p>Again, since I've never read Conan, I will defer to DocP's judgment that Twohy matches up to how Conan *should* be. <p>I do love Conan the Barbarian, but wouldn't mind seeing a different Conan snapping dude's necks like "a rotten branch".

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    To continue with our gang bang fantasy...

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    ...we all forgot to mention the Busted Tees chick. How quickly we forget.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Story should not be a Conan origin remake

    by Pabodie

    That would not be worth it. I'd like to see a more "Man with No Name" kind of Conan, who is plunged into the test of his life, propelling him to the throne. Basically if Conan the Destroyer hadn't been horrid, and been a real sequel to Milius's Conan. I know some other scripts have been written so maybe this one's already been thought up, but imagine the power base Conan has after slaying Thulsa Doom and Rexor. He could find that the princess he rescued immediately kills her father (Max Von Sydow) and is trying to use her throne as a new power base for the serpent cult, and to re-incarnate Doom himself. Conan must raise an army this time, not just a band of thieves, and he must lead it to settle this score with the Princess. The crown he gains is a side effect of this crusade, hence his "troubled brow."

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Schumacher to Direct Conan

    by toadkillerdog

    No need to add nipples, Conan is shirtless. Might get some good neon light fighting though. Not too mention a sidekick.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    I think it would be good to go with someone

    by Jonah Echo

    who is skilled at pulp-style films, or fantasy films and not necessarily epic films or action films. <P> I think Conan should have more of a pulpy adventure feel than just a sweeping epic melee. Keep Conan firmly at the center of the story. And work on making him interesting, instead of using him as a blunt object that accompanies the characters.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    I think Mel Gibson is the perfect choice to direct

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I just don't think American audiences will sit through the subtitles.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    HOD

    by toadkillerdog

    Chitty alluded to comic book gang bangs. Jocasta and Scarlet Witch were mentioned. How the hell anyone could do it with Jocasta - who had no, er ports of entry outside of a cigarette lighter socket, beats the hell out of me. Machine Man found a way though.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    speaking of Mel...

    by just pillow talk

    and related to our gang bang lists...<p>Sophie Marceau. Hell, she could be missing an ear and it's all good.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Jonah, speaking of pulps

    by toadkillerdog

    I loved the Doc savage books. I even enjoy the incredibly campy 1975 movie with Ron Ely.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Also have to bring up

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    The busty red head herself..Busted Tees girl.<p> Oh I just need to stop.<p>

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    so I never read Doc Savage...

    by just pillow talk

    but after reading a bit on the character, I can't believe Arnold wanted to be him as well. Talk about the wrong actor for the character.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    I think Ridley could do it, but I think

    by Jonah Echo

    he should step away from the styles he developed during gladiator. Go back to a more sweeping style. He has adopted too much of Tony's jittery action cam technique. Sit down, read some Howard, watch your movie The Duelists Ridley, and the director's cut of Legend and then go give us a great Conan.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Damn, didn't see where HOD mentioned her

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    Oh well she deserves a double mention.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    hmmm...author of Doc Savage..

    by just pillow talk

    wasn't too high on it. <p>'He stated that he harbored no illusions of being a high-quality author of literature; for him, the Doc Savage series was simply a job, a way to earn a living by "churning out reams and reams of sellable crap."'<p>Nice.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    FOR OUTLANDER!!

    by Jonah Echo

    nearly forgot that. So now what these guys are signed on to write Conan, isn't in someones best interest to get Outlander out there and seen?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    I always liked the demon design in Legend

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    It sort of put a unique version of horns out there.<p> I was usually seeing little horns on top or sticking out of hair.<p> But never like that.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    DocPazuzu doesn't need me to defend him or his posts. But Doc's attitude is better in the sense that when he is attacking someone, he is attacking the worst of AICN. He's one of the few (along with my other so-called "contrarian friends") who fight for TB order and calls bullshit on the various trolls, bygots, bullies, and other pompous fucks who populate these boards. He doesn't make AICN his personal Bay-hate platform. Big difference.<P>Now, we all know why you constantly bring up Kurtzman, Orci, Abrams, and Bay; it's not a mystery. In fact, we know it so well that you might as well copy & paste the same post everywhere you go on AICN. Why? Because no matter the topic, no matter the discussion, it's the same thing over and over again. And the funny thing is, most of us don't even give a damn about those guys. The difference is we don't pollute these boards with the same drivel (i.e. pieces of shits, hacks, shits, BAYFORMERS, Jar Jar Abrams, pieces of hack shits, etc, etc, etc.) you do day in and day out. It's so fucking predictable, redundant, and tiresome.<P>You certainly don't want to be predictable, redundant, or tiresome do you, M-O-M?<P>And you know I'm right about this. IT'S THE TRUTH. It's the reason why myself and many others ride you for it.<P>So, my comment doesn't fail in the slightest. But I appreciate your effort to say otherwise.<P>One final thing:<P>Quote: "I could say the midday sun of a cloudless day is blue"<P>I'm going to assume you meant the sky is blue and not the sun...<P>...just trying to help you out a little bit.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    1950's & before movies...

    by ThereWolf

    Whoa, wait up, guys, give us a chance! In no particular order.<p>Citizen Kane.<p>The Big Sleep.<p>Foreign Correspondent.<p>Bad Day At Black Rock.<p>Ace In The Hole.<p>Orphee.<p>D.O.A.<p>The Caine Mutiny.<p>The Third Man.<p>The Maltese Falcon.<p>Avoided Sf, westerns and war cos we've been buzzing around those recently. Kane's the only one I've watched in the last few months. I fookin love Citizen Kane.<p>"I don't think any word can explain a man's life..." Oh, yes it can, mate.<p>If anyone ever tells you that they think Kane is 'overrated' you have my permission to give them a slap.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Pillow - Arnold would have completely sucked as Doc

    by toadkillerdog

    Doc, must be set in the 30's for one thing. Bringing him into the present and retaining his characteristics, would be foolish in the extreme. Even in the 30's Doc was - shall we say, a bit unbelievable. Especially his stance towards women - who all loved him, but he had no time for them. He has some idisyncracies that would doom any modern interpretation. The campy movie almost got it right though. But I would like a more serious take.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    good list there...also

    by Jonah Echo

    I'm a big fan of Belle Et La Bette. I take it most here have seen that great film?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    you're right Jonah

    by just pillow talk

    unless they are afraid of the end product of Outlander? <p>Nah, fuck that.<p>FOR OUTLANDER!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Sorry, one more

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    Jennifer Conneley in Inventing the Abbotts.<p> She is riding Billy Crudup and it shows her bazookas.<p> She must have had a breast reduction, cause they don't seem that big anymore.<p> Such a shame if she did...

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Damn you guys get up early

    by kungfuhustler84

    just finished reading the rest of the Twitch TB.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    yeah, the movie would have had the same movie

    by just pillow talk

    much like Conan, and therein ends the similarities.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Comic book gang bags?

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Good lord boys. I haven't picked up a comic in over 10 years.<p>I dunno, but after seeing it everyday for a week, that Black Lagoon chick up top is finally starting to look good.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    fucking damn it...same TITLE

    by just pillow talk

    Sharp as a fucking marble.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    she's a tease, that black lagoon chick

    by just pillow talk

    She's also dirty, just the way I like 'em!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Anyone who hasn't read it..

    by Jonah Echo

    read Tom Cullen's post above. It's pretty funny. Mostly because I heard Arnie's voice as I read it.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Chitty, double D's always deserve...

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    ...a double mention.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Pillow

    by toadkillerdog

    That is absolutely correct about the primary writer of Doc (it was a house name, and others did write as well). He banged them out for damn good money - even by today's standards. They were pulp, and rarely did they ever rise above that level of writing. But sometimes you would get a damn good thriller. My introduction to Doc was not from the books, but from the Marvel magazines. Not the comics, but the B&W Magazine format.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    I saw his post...

    by just pillow talk

    It laughs at my Four Winds.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    by the way, hello to all already here..

    by Jonah Echo

    Sorry to just drop in like a bunch of locusts and just start raiding the fridge and tracking mud on the rug. Hello Doc and company!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    the whole premise sounds interesting...

    by just pillow talk

    can't believe I've never read any Doc Savage....

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Also, am I alone in the idea that they

    by Jonah Echo

    should go for a charismatic actor and have him bulk up instead of hiring a sneering truck to play Conan just for his physique?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    You realize we're going to become the ire of AICN

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    We're like the aliens in ID4. We move from TB to TB sucking it out of resources before moving on.<p>Jennifer Connelly did indeed have a breast reduction. Paul Bettany came running out of the plastic surgeon's office shaking his fist at the heavens and screaming, "THERE IS NO GOD!"

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Once again MOM proves interspecies sex is not a good idea

    by Xiphos_2

    Blow Michael Bay already, would you please. The subtext of all your posts, MoM are getting real uncomfortable.<p>I have to ask this question mommy, did Mikey not get back to fast enough with your request for an autograph? Or is is that you have some personal issues with your homosexuality? It's alright brother, nobody will make fun you for it promise. I won't let them. The goat loving on the other hand....

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    and they totally should

    by Jonah Echo

    integrate the Lovecraftian elements of Conan into the film. Really go out and make a sweeping quest with everything through Conan's POV.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    whats the topic over here? cunt piercings?

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    hola danny..no we will stay on topic until the

    by Jonah Echo

    actual conversation dries up. Right now lets keep talking Conan and Outlander and the like.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    HOD, double amen to that

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    I wonder what she is doing now?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    no Hawaiian, we're more like the Necrothingies

    by just pillow talk

    from Riddick. No one knows what we really do, or what we are, but well, here we are doing our thing.<p>And on that note, the Kyra chick and be on Team Pillow as well.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    I'll on stay in this TB if we continue talking about fine women.

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Pillow

    by toadkillerdog

    It is a bizarre premise. But it works - if kept in the proper context. The early 1930's. A man raised from birth by other men to be a superman - but still mortal. Surrounded by five men who are the tops in their field -except Doc is better than all of them in every field. A towering, super intellect. A Bronze skinned giant stronger than any ten men. Smarter. faster. Better. Phillip Jose farmer did two books on Savage. One was a satire linking him to all the great literary charcters in history. Tarzan, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond. Etc. It has a x rated fight between Savage and Tarzan with ones swizzle stick being ripped off - literally. The other book he wrote, did an amazing breakdown of about every story. Filled in character development, treated it like a real subject.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Jonah - that's what DocP has said about

    by just pillow talk

    whomever would play Conan.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    ok then..here it is..

    by Jonah Echo

    Conan will no doubt have a female love interest, sidekick or villain.. <P> If you have read the stories, suggestions? Character? Type of character? Actress to play said character? or actress with no character in mind>

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Danny, we're discussing possible directors for Conan

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    And of course ideal candidates for gang bangs will always be open for discussion.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    when you put it that way toad...

    by just pillow talk

    I'm much too bashful to have my life's story up on the big screen. <p>And Tarzan deserved it. Jane was much too fine a piece of ass to ignore like that. He had it coming.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    awww man...Conan is a boring topic to me.....

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    I'd definitely like to see

    by Jonah Echo

    an exotic beauty in a role as perhaps a fellow warrior for Conan. And no, nothing like Grace Jones in Destroyer.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    I say Danny Boyle....he could handle it.

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    what actresses would you cast as warrior women

    by Jonah Echo

    Danny? go with that.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    maybe..until he has a burned up crisp guy

    by just pillow talk

    show up. Then all bets are off.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Conan

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    A shorter, pudgier, paler Conan.<p>It might be a tough sell at first.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    I agree on bulking up a good actor

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    I seemed to work back in the day with the first Conan, but why not give it a different perspective with a new look?<p> Also please at least make him tall where we don't get Conan standing on a stack of phone books looking up at whatever Australian super model that plays a hot chick Conan will mate with.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    why limit to one? it would be a gaggle of amazon

    by just pillow talk

    type warrior princesses.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Stick to the Howard originals, and CAST JAVIER BARDEM

    by -888

    Conan the Barbarian was a close-but-no-cigar affair. That Conan was a lunk-headed moron and the film itself -- despite being really well-made -- is a generic viking movie with "Conan" in the title. The original Howard stories are incredible, cracking stuff. Howard's Conan is unique. Use that material as a jumping off point, and CAST JAVIER BARDEM, the only man alive who can play Conan properly. Use those gnarly old Frazetta paintings as your guide, get a strong director, and you'll be guaranteed a fuckin' grand slam.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    So, never read many of the books..

    by Jonah Echo

    Is it ever described how Conan becomes king of Aquolonia, or was that just the creation of the film? I noticed that in the script for KING CONAN: CROWN OF IRON from a few years ago, the opening was actually an adapted version of the first Conan story THE FROST GIANT'S DAUGHTER(or something like that). Conan had a son in that script as well, who was a result of his mating with the frost witch.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    if you want epic, you go with Warwick Davis

    by just pillow talk

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    this will be awesome if

    by SpawnofAchilles

    1)it's hard R, lots of blood and scary violence and gore 2)IT STICKS TO THE SOURCE, we know this works so go with it, the stories are dark and awesome, USE IT 3)Uber hot babes must be in this and must get naked 4)Javier would make a sick conan if he beefs up more

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    I could see Bardem perhaps..or Mortensen.

    by Jonah Echo

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:40 p.m. CST

    If we stay on topic here: Conan

    by toadkillerdog

    Then the previous inhabitants will not be too put of place. But Danny and HOD, and to alesser extent, Pillow, must be placatd with mention of gang banging. So, the all fantasy gangbang list must begin. Sandahl Bergman anyone?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:40 p.m. CST

    it doesnt have to be hard R...

    by Jonah Echo

    everyone says that. If it is, that will be fine, but honestly usually when people write hard R they sacrifice wit, pacing atmosphere and tone for violence and sex. I do think it shouldnt be heavily edited, and probably an R, but it doesn't need to be blood soaked or sex soaked to be good.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Motenson - too old. He would be a great King Conan

    by toadkillerdog

    I agree. Take an actor bulk him up. Reeves did it. Smith did it. Gyllenhall did it.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    I agree on the gore and boobies

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    You HAVE to have naked women and full splatter gore in Conan.<p> I when I say naked that means SIDE BOOBAGE DOES NOT COUNT!!!<p> I mean full frontal for the ladies and Conan ripping someone in half and exposing intenstines and other guts before they fall to the floor with a wet, squishy thud.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    so with this in the works, Red Sonja coming,

    by Jonah Echo

    and a Thulsa Doom movie, is there going to be any attempt at crossover or continuity, or will it just be three seperate things?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    It needs to be blood and sex soaked for me to see it.

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    That is a promise. I will never ever watch a PG-13 Conan.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    lol danny

    by Jonah Echo

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    agreed...gore and boobies

    by just pillow talk

    I disagree that wit and tone, etc, need to be sacrificed for additional ta-ta's and bloody hackings to occur.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Please be true.

    by DanboJohnJ

    And Gerald Butler fer Conan,after all he was a northman from round abouts them parts or so they say....

  • this will be awesome if <p> 1)it's hard R, lots of blood and scary violence and gore <p>2)IT STICKS TO THE SOURCE, we know this works so go with it, the stories are dark and awesome, USE IT <p>3)Uber hot babes must be in this and must get naked <p>4)Javier would make a sick conan if he beefs up more

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Danny, you mean you wouldn't watch a Conan flick...

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    ...with "Yipee kay-yay mother-[sword clanging]-er"?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    I'm out...carry on CoC

    by just pillow talk

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    oh fuck Gerard Butler being up for every fucking

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    role for a bad ass in the last year.....FUCK HIM. And fuck his air brushed abs in that fag ass 300.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    The only way I watch a PG-13 Conan

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    It better have some good creatures in it.<p> That is the only way I would even think about it.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    this bad ass needs to be Conan, right fucking now!

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    http://tinyurl.com/5ocx6n

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Ha! PG-13 Conan

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    He would stab someone and you could see the guy holding Conan's sword under his arm as he pinned to his side.<p> You like when you used to play as a kid?<p> That would be good stuff.<p> Comic relief would be Donkey from Shrek with Cuba Gooding Jr. filling for Eddie Murphy and a camel filling for Donkey.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Every one of you guys is missing the OBVIOUS choice

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Tahmoh Penikett, who plays Helo on Galactica is already ripped and he has acting chops to boot. There's your Conan right there.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Ray Stevenson wouldn't be a bad Conan either

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Although he's getting up in years.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Danny

    by kungfuhustler84

    you better be fucking joking about Jake Gylenhaal

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Dean Cain for Conan

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    kungfuhustler84 -- I am fool....

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    But looking at those abs and that whig again....God-Damn add him to my gang-bang. Good ole' Jake can be my towel boy.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    I think we've killed this TB

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Well done, gentlemen!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:02 p.m. CST

    As long as the masterbating bear will be in it, it's okay.

    by DerLanghaarige

    Or am I thinking about the wrong Conan?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Masturbating bear?

    by ThereWolf

    Okay, now I'm beginning to get slightly interested.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    hahaha.....all this gang-bang with women talk...

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    ...scared away the dudes drooling all over Gerard Butler. We were just far too straight for them. Perhaps if we bring up Pitt's physique in Fight Club, it shall stir interest once again.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Who's going to play Max Weinberg?

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    And give Andy Richter a cameo.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Here is your Conan Woman

    by toadkillerdog

    Not to mention Chitty and Danny's next spank mate. <p> http://tinyurl.com/5pmqwo

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    well...perhaps I'm done for the day on here

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    There is a whole load of Alicia galleries just calling my name.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Will Mongo be in the new Conan movie?

    by kungfuhustler84

    Wasn't that the name of the crazy little sorcerer?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    toadkillerdog

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Naaaawww........I dont get down with that animated shit. Call me old fashioned.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Me and Wolf are back at the old TB

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    It can't be the same actor for little sorcerer

    by Jonah Echo

    as that actor Mako, is dead now. He passed away in 2006 I believe.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Whats the deal with

    by Series7

    Writers anyway? I know like it matters and all, but if the director sucks then the writer really doesn't matter. I mean Oliver Stone is listed as being the writer for the original Conan, but the director and production company pretty much drop his script and did there own thing. Like for certain people it matters that its their script, but a majority of the time it doesn't. Like bad writers can end up having a good movie because of the director and so they ride it out. Like I keep hearing about from the guys who wrote transformers and wanted, like that matters especially since neighter of them are famous for their original ideas.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    I would like to see the woman they used to make her

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    You know they had to use a model to do that.<p> But I'm like Danny, I don't really get stirred up with the animated stuff.<p> Maybe certian anime could, but I have yet to see it.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:21 p.m. CST

    ok I think we can drop the pretense of talking Conan..

    by Jonah Echo

    there is no one left in here but us. Ha. That didnt take long.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:22 p.m. CST

    Chitty - You liked Jocasta!

    by toadkillerdog

    Not even anime. But a comic book character. A robotic character. A robotic charcater without any entry 'port's other than a cigarette lighter.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:23 p.m. CST

    new topic time

    by Jonah Echo

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST

    the best sidekicks in movies..

    by Jonah Echo

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST

    See Conan remake

    by Series7

    Is a perfect example of a movie that should be remade. The original is classic, and will be tough to make better, but its not a stand alone movie. Say like the John Carpenter remakes. Parts of the original Conan were hindered by the effects at the time and there is enough Conan stories that they can make it something completly different. This is a remake/boot/whatever that has the potential to be great. Like Batman, there was enough back story and the originals were nothing set in stone. <P> Now a new Robocop will be a lot tougher. I really hope they do something cool and great for the new Conan. I hope they find a new and upcoming director and not pawn it off on Rodreguiez.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST

    I like talking Conan

    by Series7

    DAMNIT!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Agreed Series..

    by Jonah Echo

    I think it should be something completely different. For one thing, the setting. <P> You can have the desert locales but you can also have a greater range of locations. This movie doesnt have to be a ton of people in thongs running about the desert. Allow Conan to visit new civilizations and new areas. Those painting that show Conan riding some reptilian steed into battle against hordes of animal people the middle of some ancient metropolis has not been remotely captured by the old films.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:53 p.m. CST

    best sidekicks

    by kungfuhustler84

    Short Round from Temple of Doom, Kato in the Green Hornet, and Bruno from Triplets of Belleville

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    and of course...

    by kungfuhustler84

    Chewie. Who doesn't want a big fuzzy Wookie hug?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    Terribly excited about this

    by The Rabbit Of Carrot Shaped Doom

    Conan is one of my cherished movies. Perhaps it was watched at a time when movies still filled me with wonder, or mabe it was because I was at a phase in my life when fantasy novels and movies nourished my dreams.<p>Nevertheless, there will always be a place in my heart for Conan. One can only hope that this new movie will be equally fantastic!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    General Crom -- you just earned a pass to drink my urine

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Well said Rabbit

    by toadkillerdog

    And that is not a phrase I utter often. hah!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Yeah Toad, I liked Jocasta, but I was very young

    by ChittyChittyGangBang

    Doesn't do the same for me now.<p> Heck I even liked the bra section of the catalogs back then.<p> By the way, JC Penny models owned the Sears models.<p> I was young, dum and full of clear..we'll you know, I was very young and easily entertained.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST

    ABking brings his tired old game back.

    by Irina Spanko

    Good thing ABking can't read or he might find out the Robert E. Howard Conan is far better than anything his action movie idols could hope to produce. A movie adapting any of Howard's work faithfully would beat Arnold's movie in every conceivable way.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Milius

    by Charlie_Allnut

    Why doesn't he get more work?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    OH for the sake of FUCK

    by fartedinthefaceofhollywood

    I really enjoyed the first Conan flick which was raw, gritty, and unforgiving, but the second one had no balls what-so-ever and was too pussified. As long as they don't cut any corners and keep it more true to the nature of the first film.....im there, if not....FUCK EM.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 5:35 p.m. CST

    Fuck this, give me a Milius Conan, fuckers!

    by Drath

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:03 p.m. CST

    Scarlett Johansson in a chain-mail bikini

    by fiester

    That would put asses in the seats!

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 6:55 p.m. CST

    What daring! What outrageousness! What insolence! What arrogance

    by Geekgasm

    It is no accident that Max Von Sydow is in Conan the Barbarian AND Flash Gordon.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 7:16 p.m. CST

    MOM remember BAAAA means NAAAAA

    by Xiphos_2

    Sheep fucker.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 8:19 p.m. CST

    go suck a fuck

    by chipps

    that's how i see it.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 8:42 p.m. CST

    i'm just laughing

    by chipps

    at how consistently MOM is called out by various people as not having read a book that he says he likes. To be honest I really don't have a problem with you, you are always civil to me which i think is important, but seriously dude, you havn't read 'jewish war' have you?

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 8:46 p.m. CST

    oh yeah

    by chipps

    and pre 50s movies. has anyone said cassablanca. it's like a whole movie in mos eisley cantina

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 9:01 p.m. CST

    side kicks

    by chipps

    short round - fuck yeah 'dr jones, dr jones NO MORE PARASHUTES' 'hey lady, you call him dr jones.' those lines are a misery for my missus. 'hey lady, when's dinner ready lady?', chunk from the goonies - no sequel please. Jerry lewis, nuff said. goose. sean connery in iny 3 - 'i remembered my Charlemagne'

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:21 p.m. CST

    was arnold completely naked in...

    by dioxholster

    ...one of his conan movies, i think i saw that long time ago cant remember.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 10:50 p.m. CST

    JOONYUH!!!

    by kungfuhustler84

    Sean connery says that in the Last Crusade about seven fucking billion times.

  • Aug. 13, 2008, 11:27 p.m. CST

    fly - yes!

    by chipps

    land - no!

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 4:04 a.m. CST

    So Mommy we aren't BFFs anymore?

    by Xiphos_2

    Should I cancel the trip to the prime sheep acerage I was getting you for your sweet 16? Remember BAAA means NAAA!<p>Serious question time now. Do you make your lord and master, your personal God and hero, Michael "THE MAN GOD" Bay shave his bean bag before you gargle it?

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 4:05 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    I love both the Milius film and Howard's stories, but to say that the Milius film has anything to do with Howard beyond the generic tropes of sword & sorcery is so wrong as to border on insane (not surprising). Milius has gone on record saying that Conan was an excuse for him to make what he calls a "viking movie". <p> This is your problem: you can't enjoy both as separate entities because you claim to like both. If you had been consistent, you'd see what an Asimov "fundie" you were when the I, Robot movie came out. It doesn't matter if the film was good or not. In that particular case you hated the movie so you considered Asimov's work to have been ass-fucked, but because you like Milius's film, you claim it's "respectful" of the source material. <p> Hypocrisy, thy name is M-O-M.

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 4:06 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    Chipps never said Casablanca was based on Star Wars, you condescending prick.

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 5:18 a.m. CST

    i

    by chipps

    actually happen to believe (based on nothing) that lucus drew inspiration from casablanca for that scene (i can't back that up). I have no problem with you. My jewish war point (and unfortunatly you threw your hat in the ring again) is that what you just mentioned ie: jesus in the jewish war. didn't happen. you are talking about josephus's reference to jesus in 'the antiquities of the jews' my point (and you have affirmed it) is your inaccurate quotes. You talk with authority about the mentions of jesus in THE JEWISH WARS but he is not mentioned in the jewish wars. he is mentioned in 'the anitqities of the jews' this is my point. it is further my point that people who cry stupid on this often don't know what they are talking about. i am drunk and rambling, i mean you no offense, i don't wanna start something with you, i respect the civility with which you have spoken to me.

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 5:22 a.m. CST

    and docpazuzu

    by chipps

    you were rude to me at one point and i got the shits with you cause i wasn't rude to you. but i have noticed that you are consistently a pretty good guy. You probly don't care and good on ya, but your consistent good attitude has won me over (and this is not because you just backed me up but because i have been watching you)

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 7:22 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    About as much as your tiresome JJ Abrams and Michael Bay hate-love.

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    chipps

    by DocPazuzu

    Can't say I recall the episode of rudeness, but I'll take your word for it. <p> Cheers.

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    docpaz

    by Prossor

    what is your favorite conan story? i know that's asking for favorite gold from a box of gold nuggets since they'rea ll pretty much awesome even his worst is great. i only have volume 1 of the del ray book so phoenix on the sword to devil in iron and of those i liked xuthal of the dusk the most for that setting in the giant city in the middle of hte desert which was actually one giant temple. the shadowy entity xuthal and those followers, good atmosphere.

  • Aug. 14, 2008, 3:47 p.m. CST

    ok so i got drunk

    by chipps

    regret, oh regret