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Capone Says Potentially Great HK Action Movie TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR Killed by Adding THE MUMMY to the Title!!
Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
Somewhere buried deep beneath the vapid pit that is the third film of THE MUMMY franchise is a somewhat interesting tale about the evil Emperor Han (Jet Li) who threatens to become immortal and take over the world with his massive army. The beautiful conjurer Zi Juan (Michelle Yeoh), not trusting the emperor, puts a curse on him that renders him and his army into statue-like creatures who are eventually buried in a tomb for centuries. In fact, whenever Yeoh and Li are on screen together, there's still a touch of the old Hong Kong magic left in them and between them. (The pair last shared the screen in the wildly impressive TAI CHI MASTER, which was just re-released on DVD.)
But then we have to deal with Brendan Fraser, returning as the wisecracking adventurer Rick O'Connell, and a British accented Maria Bello playing his wife, Evelyn (a part Rachel Weisz played in the first two films). John Hannah's Jonathan eventually appears, and no one will care. As for new characters, we get the grown-up version of Rick and Evenyn's son Alex (Luke Ford), who has secretly dropped out of school to move to China and find the remains of the tomb of the evil emperor and his army. Mom and Dad are recruited out of retirement to take a priceless gem to China as a gift to the government, but shockingly enough the big old rock pulls the older and younger generations into an overly complex series of adventures and bullshit mythology involving a trek into the Himalayas, a few Yeti monsters, the lost city of Shangri-La and a fountain that gives one who submerges himself into it eternal life. I love that Hong Kong legend Anthony Wong has been drafted to play a modern Chinese army general whose secret plan is to free the Emperor and his huge army. But having such a consummate professional in this film seem such as absolute waste of time.
Director Cohn (the craftsman responsible for THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, XXX and STEALTH) has an eye like Michael Bay and sometimes Bay's cinematic heart as well. And this third MUMMY outing weirdly resembles the last film in that Jet Li (like The Rock before him) barely appears in the film at all. He's in the very beginning and at the very end, but for the rest of the film he's some weird CGI version of himself that could have very easily been a motion-capture version of just about any actor. It feels like a bit of a rip off. Isabella Long is on hand as Yeoh's daughter, who helps her make certain that the revived Emperor Han does not succeed to achieving full immortality.
Most of the special effects in this film look horribly fake. The Yeti, in particular, are pathetic, while the revived army look slightly better since they are only meant to look like terra cotta figures. I did sort of appreciate the look of the second army that Yeoh brings to life, made up of the dead bodies of the men who helped build the Great Wall and were buried under it when they died or became useless.
My biggest problem with TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR is the same problem I had with the NATIONAL TREASURE films: the action is so-so and the problem-solving methods employed here are non-existent. Right when a moment where brains could be called into play occurs, one of the characters just happens to have the answer or a new character is introduced who has the answer. There are no brains behind this movie or its plot at all. Also Cohen shoots many of his action sequences, especially hand-to-hand combat, in close-up, thus denying us the pleasure of watching an actual fight sequence. Any scene that contains large doses of fakery, he pulls the camera back as if to admire his own visual effects. But when it's time to watch skilled fighters like Jet Li or Michelle Yeoh, the camera pulls in. Makes no damn sense. I was in a lot of pain watching this movie; it assaulted my cinematic sensibility at every turn and wasted some truly gifted performers, especially Yeoh, who has become as good an actor in recent years as she was a fighter and stunt performer in years past. Not a shocker that the movie's no damn good, but my hopes were elevated due to the Hong Kong elements. I've learned my lesson.
-Capone
capone@aintitcoolmail.com
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I just wonder if the hardcore movie nerd is expecting too much from this? The first two were pretty much brainless adventure comedy type movies so why expect anything more from this one? Especially when it has Jet Li in it? Maybe in Japan he's a Christian Bale type actor of awesome proportions, but I haven't seen him in anything that showed me he has any real acting chops. I could very well be wrong, but I think we all want all our fantasy movies to be all dark and serious in this day and age. For the record, The Dark Knight was awesome, but Tim Burton's Batman was great too, and in some ways more like the comic book than Chris Nolan's. It's true.
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Although I was hoping the Chinese influence would help. Guess not.
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..too bad for Michelle Yeoh, though
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Can't replace Rachel
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Aug 01, 2008 11:24:11 AM CDT
You'd think there are only two extremes AARONIUS
by guy who got a headache and accidentally
They way you talk it's like there's some rule where everything is dark gritty realism, or this intelligence insulting goofy shit. And what the fuck does Dark Knight have to do with this? It's the best movie ever now get over it.
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Hollywood STILL doesn't know how to use Hong Kong & Chinese actors -- and they NEVER will. It's an entirely different cinematic sensibility they operate under. Yeah, I too used to get excited when people like Chow Yun Fat came over and "tried out" Hollywood with second-rate stuff like THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS (whatever you may say about the movie, Chow does have his moments, especially in the last scene). But I became jaded and cynical pretty quickly when once Jet Li and Jackie Chan started doing urban crap like "ROMEO MUST DIE" and "RUSH HOUR." Is appropriating "Gangsta-isms" the ONLY way an East Asian can operate in the Hollywood scene? It's either that or one-note villains, and we've seen too many of them both. In this multicultural day and age, you'd think this country, the most advanced in the world, would be a little more open-minded and intelligent in its approaches to international actors and sensibilities. This is why Tony Leung (a smart man) has never tried Hollywood -- and probably never will. I love Jet Li, too, but now, yeah, I've felt for a few years already that he's just following the money. Hollywood does one thing well -- Hollywood. They should just stop appropriating Asian sensibilities or personalities because it never works. They just don't understand. I'll stick to the country's native cultural products, thank you very much.
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"THE ONE" is almost universally agreed to be one of the most god-awful things I, or I think anyone, has ever seen in a cinema.
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IS wasted in this Hollywood dreck. She's a much better actress than the West realizes. And why bring Chow Yun Fat into Pirates 3 when you're going to kill him needlessly halfway through the movie?? Just pure stupidity, all of it.
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Not the passion of Point Break, for sure, but worthy of being mentioned in the same breath, and definitely had some fantastic action scenes. How could he make such a fun movie, and mess up everything since? (xXx was good fun - until after the avalanche scene.)
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Brendan Frasier needs to go work at a Denny's or something, can't stand him hate all his movies
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why today's action directors shoot everything in close-up? It doesn't make ANY FUCKING SENSE AT ALL.
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Surely Capone's complaints that that the action is poorly shot is pretty damn important to a film like this? Assuming we're meant to not be bothered about the plot or characters being particularly good then surely all that's left is well shot and exciting action scenes. If he can't manage to make them work then the film fails.
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Aug 01, 2008 1:37:45 PM CDT
I agree that the action should rock if the story is minimal...
by aaronius
and it sounds like that's the case here. My real complaint is that it seems to me that most of the reviewers that have reviewed this movie were annoyed that it wasn't a brilliant action film, and I don't think it's supposed to be. I'm not saying that Capone did that in his review either (in fact I thank you sir for not going into depth on how the yeti field goal scene wasn't accurate according to yeti legend or whatever).
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All the reviews here seem to say the fights are incompetently directed in the Mummy. Anyone else wonder what happened to Rob Cohen after he directed Dragon: The Bruce Lee story? That movie had some great fight scenes!
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The Fast and the Furious is not worthy of being mentioned of in the same breath as Point Break.
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Aug 01, 2008 2:26:55 PM CDT
Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World
by kwisatzhaderach
The Dark Knight is not the best movie ever.
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...reinstated "terra cotta" into the average American's lexicon. I haven't seen this many reviews with "terra cotta" since...well...never.
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sounds like a plot lifted from Ironman.
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the magical and infallible touch of China is automatically going to turn shit into beluga caviar? Hong Kong puts out just as much garbage in relative measure as Hollywood, but it's just so much cooler for fanboys to suck at the chinese teat and drop names like John Woo and Far Flung Kok and Suk Won Dong. Sorry, but most Chinese cinema sucks. If I'm gonna wolf down cinematic trash, I want it American style, with ketchup and globs and globs of cheese!
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"Weirdly enough, Rob Cohen has beaten Spielberg in his own game of archeological adventure"-Devin Faraci, from his review of M3:TDE
Devin, your opinion, to which you have the right to express, is utter crap. Your site sucks, your reviews suck. That is all. -
So fuck you all.
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Why in the hell is everyone holding Mummy 3 up to the standard of The Dark Knight? I mean, are you guys fucking stupid? This is like comparing superman to the godfather (which the dark knight does not even come close to touching, no matter what imdb says). You're all missing the picture here, literally.
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Aug 01, 2008 6:59:26 PM CDT
THE MUMMY FILMS ARE FUN! FANBOYS ARE DEPRESSING!
by earthquake westcoast
To the average (non-fanboy) the mummy films were fun, escapist entertainment! It seems that all you fanboys only like DARK,DEPRESSING FILMS! What's up with that? Relax and enjoy a fun, even stupid film once in a while. The audience that saw Mummy 3 with me loved the Yetis! Who gives a rats ass if the yetis kicking a touchdown wasn't realistic! We're talking about FREAKING YETIS! WHO'S TO F****ING SAY YETIS DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL! GIVE ME PROOF THAT THEY DON'T! HAHA! BTW.....Indy 4 was also a fun film to MOST OF THE AVERAGE MOVIE GOER! Especially with the over 40 crowd. They ate it up. As for DARK KNIGHT, it WASN'T the best film ever! It was just a good film, but nothing life changing. It's no EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, ALIENS, RETURN OF THE KING, THE INCREDIBLES, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. It was just a dark and depressing film. And I don't know why fanboys love the joker's pencil trick. That was nothing special. And the joker just acted like the crazy bad guy from the japanese film "Azumi". Heath did a good performance though, but it's nothing to get excited about and scream over like all you fanboys have been doing. Dam, you act like little teenybopper schoolgirls at a hanaha montana concert. Nothing wrong with the fridge scene in Indy 4 either! It fits right along with Indy falling a thousand feet off a plane in a life raft (temple of doom), and magical knights still alive from the crusades (last crusade), or even Indy being dragged in the back of a moving truck without dying (Raiders). Enjoy life people! Enjoy it now before the Iran war starts and they start drafting people (both men and women) ages 18-32! Proceed.
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He made a mockery of Bruce Lee; tried to make Bruce's life look like Bruce Lee movies.
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Seems the others did also or there wouldn't be a third. Not the greatest films made. Still, they are not bad entertainment. Some of you really need to lighten up. This really hasn't been a bad summer for movies. A little something for everyone.
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Aug 01, 2008 8:00:05 PM CDT
I'd rather see the Mummy than any of last years "Oscar" nominate
by j2talk
I know - having seen all of them- that the Mummy 3 gave me more enjoyment than any of those did, It is NOT great film making, but certainly it is much more fun and will be joining my DVD colection
(In what? About 90 days, along with most of the summers other big films) -
... not stupid when you talk about Jet Li being big in Japan. And not China. Where he's from. As for good films, he's done plenty. But most didn't see wide release outside Asia, so its not surprising you haven't caught them.
But anyway - why on earth would you think we all want our fantasy films to be dark and serious? Sure TDK has made squillions, but the biggest movies in the last two summers have been Ironman, Indiana Jones and the Ridiculous Macguffin Ending, Transformers, Spidey 3, Shrek 3, and Pirates 3. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm fairly certain NONE of those films are dark and serious. Summer season = big, loud, stupid tentpole releases. If all those films had flopped, then maybe you could argue a collective shift in film tastes. Which is why Mummy 3 is review-proof, and who enjoy loud noises and big explosions and witty come-backs will go see this film. And most probably enjoy it. -
It is bad story telling. I didn't go into this thing expecting much and came out of the theater with less. I wanted light easy going escapism and got a jumble of miscast actors and underused talent running through a bad story propped up by computer animation.
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Saw the movie yesterday here in Brazil and had a good time. Indy 4 was good fun too, I liked both for different reasons. After reading some reviews here, I was expecting utter crap, but I saw the first two Mummy adventures on the big screen (and I liked the first Fast and the Furious a lot). Which one was better? Well, each movie is an unique experience for me, blah blah blah. Yeah, Rachel Weiz was so beautiful and we miss her, but Maria Bello is very convincing in this flick, I totally bought her performance as Rick´s life partner and kick-ass mom. Harry mentioned in his review about the disappointing final fight between Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh. Well, Rob Cohen is no Yimou Zhang for sure, but at least, the fight made sense in the context of the movie. The dude was only an effin´ old emperor, and the babe, an effin´ old wizard. They were not extreme hardcore fighting warriors named Flying Snow or Broken Sword, heh. And, of course, the show was all about the O´Connell family, no stealing scenes from "second characters" allowed. Another good thing I didn´t expected at all watching this movie: Shangri-la. I am crazy about the Frank Capra´s Lost Horizon. Ok, I liked the Sky Captain´s homage more, but I was damn pleased just to see another movie rendition of this amazing fictional place. And finally, just like with the Indy 4´s "nuke the fridge" scene, I had a great time with the movie´s major "concern": the team yeti. What, they were great looking, friendly goofy, tough badasses, a little extravagant types (yes, football players) and, the best of all, heroes-saviors-of-the-day. I can totally smell a kick-ass spin-off with these guys: BIG YETI IN LITTLE CHINA!
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Just what the summer needs after the uber-dark Dark Knight conquered the world! I enjoyed TDK, but Mummy 3 delivers the fun, lighthearted action flick goods just in time to save the summer from sinking too deeply into celluloid despair. I, my wife and my daughter all liked it.
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I expect this movie to be dumb. I also expect it to be a blatent rip-off of early Indy movies... yet somehow I don't expect it to be any worse than that abomination that called itself Indy 4!!
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i pity you
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Movies like the Mummy are well financed-Actors,FX,Locations-B movies pefect for a rainy sunday afternoon- THESE are the films that will be watched over and over...Why? because they are FUN and entertaining
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I'm there with you j2talk. No Country tried to pound a very simple "Old people can't understand the world that has become" bit over and over and over and ruined a wonderful movie. I walked out of Juno because of the awful Oscar winning dialogue. Give me Mummy and Indy any day.
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VP marketing: ok boys, I think this is going to be last Mummy movie. So heres the homework: go home and write down seven monsters. Then we will put them in the movie.
Writer: but sir, how do we pick which monsters to use?
VP: pick? why all of them of course! I dont care if you bring a list that says: "yeti, mummy, three headed dragon, army of ghosts, statue fighters, samurai, and sorceress". We'll put them in a movie somehow. -
Me and my sisters had a good time watching Mummy 3, and so did the audience! The yetis were funny!!!
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"Director Cohn (the craftsman responsible for THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS, XXX and STEALTH) has an eye like Michael Bay and sometimes Bay's cinematic heart as well." Now THAT'S Funny. "Craftsman" ! Hahahahahaha. "Bay's cinematic heart." As you younger folk say LOL. What a crank-yanker you are Capone!
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Sex and the City
Mama Mia
Hancrock
...and I'm sure we can add more. -
The Dark Knight was undoubtedly an impressive movie with some great acting. But not everybody wants to see depressing and stressful philosophical explosive stuff all of the time. The Mummy has always been light and illogical, but very very enjoyable for those of us who just like to relax with popcorn and watch improbable/impossible things with happy endings.
The blow-em-up, keep this violent and depressing group can stick to their Dark Knight. Give some of us who like lighter fare a break! -
pure and simple I'll watch The Mummy multiple times.....other more serious-so called "Good" movies- once is enough-Old Country for Old Men, There will be Blood- once was PLENTY...heck even The Dark Knight, I might see a 2nd time but only on DVD......
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the mummy is currently number one over the dark knight after fridays ticket sales...DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN PEOPLE. see dark knight again.
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Seriously.
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Mummy 3 equals McDonalds! Fun to eat...but will kill you in your sleep. While a movie like Iron man equals In-n-Out burger(If you're from california then you know what I mean). The Empire Strikes Back= Oh I don't know...maybe having your girlfriend actually make you a pizza from fresh bake dough she made herself and from a garden that she's been growing in her backyard for the past few months just to prepare for the day in which she's going to make you the pizza. Oh....Mummy 3 was fun! Oh again....Dumb movies don't make people stupid. Reality television makes people stupid!
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Exactly who are you referring to when you use the term 'yanks'? The term's meaning changes depending on where you live in the United States.
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Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Dragonheart, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. Anything else? Did he direct D WARS?
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Aug 03, 2008 10:52:22 PM CDT
But having such a consummate professional in this film seem such
by bricktops hammer
what?
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"But having such a consummate professional in this film seem such as absolute waste of time." what? and oh yeah, this movie will suck like the first two, then they'll make a 4th one, and a jet li spin-off movie
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British accent, English accent. Who gives a fuck? Your food is still fucking horrible. God, it was like eating peasent food. Bland fucking city. And by the way, go to the fucking dentist every now and again. I don't know whether to smile back or kick a field goal. I should send you my can food so you can open it with your nasty, jagged teeth. And fuck Diana and the rest of your so-called Royal Family. Geez, they're worse than fuckin' Paris Hilton and company. You're an irrelavant country with irrelavent leaders. And at one point you thought you were the say all and end all. The only thing anyone admires about you is "The Office." And America even did that better. Long live the Queen, my ass. That old, bitter bitch can lick the area between my asshole and my balls. At least she'd be getting something done.
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In the 2nd Mummy film, when the O'Conell's boy was eight he was an upper class speaking English boy. Now he's got an American accent?
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the falling from a plane and being saved by a life raft acting as a parachute was proven on mythbusters. indy IV blew.
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