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Harry has fun with THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR even though it has its flaws
SPOILER ALERT !!
Despite having a lot of flaws, a LOT of flaws… THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR succeeds at being pretty much in line with the two prior installments of the MUMMY series… it is, despite everything, goofy fun.
Going in you should know that you will be missing Rachel Weisz. And you should also know that Rob Cohen should be put in some sort of cinematic reform school for criminal mishandling of the long awaited Jet Li versus Michelle Yeoh face-off… which fans of Asian martial arts cinema have been waiting decades to see. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Remember, I said it was fun.
This is the third chapter in a MUMMY series that Stephen Sommers set the rules for. So there will be much mugging, much silliness, crazy zany cg antics – and it will all be in the name of goofy fun.
By goofy fun, I mean you’ll have an adorable Isabella Leong as Lin crying out for help from her Yeti friends – and suddenly the most cuddly action star versions of Yeti ever will come to help defeat evil commie Chinese militarists serving an ancient evil (not really a mummy, but man that was covered in clay – superheated into being a mummified corpse encased inside a terracotta coated replica of himself) which seeks to “rule the world.”
In this third version of THE MUMMY – you’ll find that the O’Connells are retired from the Adventure game and living in a crazy palatial estate – bored out of their skull. Meanwhile, their little boy, who was like 8 last time we saw him, is now around 18 and he’s dropped out of boring ol school and set out to adventuring and discovering on his own. He has discovered the Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Who, in the opening, we learn dreamt of unifying China and mastering the world of ancient magic and dreamt of defeating his last major foe, DEATH ITSELF.
This (2000 years ago) sequence is lavishly produced, as you’d imagine – and shows Jet controlling the elements and needing the help of a “witch” named Zi Juan, played by Michelle Yeoh. He sends his General Yang to help her discover how to live forever, with implicit instructions that no man touch her. Well, General Yang discovers that Zi is the Yin to his Yang. This, of course, pisses off Jet Li – and really, seriously – if Jet Li were your Emperor… and he had the power of the elements and he was as badass as Jet Li obviously is… would you stick a dick to the lady he wanted? Not me. But Yang has a yin for Yeoh – and who doesn’t? It all goes south, he rips Yang into at least 5 major pieces. Yeoh curses him to muddy terracotta eternal exile… Until – Teen O’Connell finds him and takes him to Shanghai.
Well, Rick and Evey are asked by the state department to take this pretty awesome sacred treasure thingamagig to Shanghai, because… well, they’re good at that sort of thing – and the bored O’Connells decide to go because Evey’s brother Jonathan happens to have a ritzy ditzy swanky club in Shanghai… but they don’t know their kid is there.
As soon as they arrive, they find their son trying to shag another man’s lady – who Rick just happens to know – and ya know – Jonathan’s Club IMHOTEP is pretty damn nice. Gold Leafed dancing broads, sweet drinks and gorgeous set design. It’s pretty damn sweet.
Later we learn that the guy that Alex was working with was actually being financed by this evil bastard played by Russell Wong ( star of billions of great fucking Hong Kong films, but whose most awesome performance was in HUMAN MEAT PIES ). Now I have to state, that my personal favorite thing about this movie is that Anthony Wong is in a gigantic budgeted American film – as a semi-major character. He has dreamt of bringing the Dragon Emperor back to life to restore China to the greatness that he feels only the mythical Dragon Emperor could.
Of course there’s a ridiculously complicated series of steps and points to which the bad guy must go in order to eventually doom the entire world – but luckily for Alex and his parents – this assassin turned girlfriend wannabe – knows every evil step the bastards must do in order to become evil bastards. The part that confuses me is how the Dragon Emperor and his evil bastards know the steps.
I mean, last I knew – the evil Dragon Emperor didn’t have a clue how to live forever. He thought that Yeoh had to do some magical spell for him to live forever, now apparently everyone knows that there’s this pool somewhere in Shangri La – which you get to by going to the Gold Tower thing and putting a special diamond thing on top and suddenly you’ll know where to go… BUT MY POINT IS… Exactly how does the Dragon Emperor, who has been in Clay for like two thousand years… and how would Anthony Wong know this? Anyway, I’m crying logic in a Mummy movie? Seriously – Stop.
Anyway – the overall goal is to get Jet Li back to looking like Jet Li – then he wakes up his Terracotta army – then for some reason he has to march them over the Great Wall of China where they all become invincible – and then he’s set to rule the world. And for some reason, when the Dragon Emperor has Immortal status (except for getting stabbed by this one immortal proof knife) he can shape shift into badass evil shit like 3 headed dragons and demon dogs. But my question is… if you could become Ghidorah – why would you ever be human again? Because you’re an immortal flying 3 headed dragon… isn’t that better than being able to suck your own cock? Pretty much, right?
To continue… Yeoh knows how to get an undead army of her own – cuz basically – everyone knows that when the shit hits the fan – you’ve got an army of undead waiting to asskick for you.
Now we all know that the good guys will win, the fun is just how they get there. The film does borrow from at least one 3rd chapter of a previous archeological adventure fantasy series with a maybe death of a major character… but basically it’s all fun stuff. Mind you if you’re out to critically annihilate this movie, it can be done.
However, my major complaints with the film come in three packages.
1) I miss Rachel Weisz. No offense to Maria Bello. She’s fine in the movie. In fact, you’ll like her. But she just isn’t as awesomely cute as Rachel. She isn’t goofily inquisitive – and Maria’s chemistry with Brendan just isn’t what Rachel’s was. I just miss Rachel. I believed that she and Brendan had a thing for each other. Bello just seems to not belong in a Mummy movie.
2) Jet Li’s Dragon Emperor is a one dimensional villain with no real sense of character. Arnold Vosloo’s Imhotep was great because while he wanted to rule the world (who doesn’t) he was actually more obsessive compulsive about his sweet ass Anck Su Namun. Who would be really sweet to rule the world with. But Jet’s badass just has a desire to live forever because he apparently has more that he wants to do than a single lifetime could afford him… not that the movie gives us enough time to learn what his “beautiful vision” was. Instead he just seems to want to be a bad bastard for eternity, which makes him pretty unsympathetic.
3) Lastly – Rob Cohen’s criminal mishandling of Jet Li versus Michelle Yeoh. Here the director had the opportunity to construct the most awesome mystical martial arts battle of all time between an all-powerful ancient wizard (Jet Li) and a 2000 year old eternal magical witch that has had nothing but time to learn to be the most awesome badass ever (Michelle Yeoh) – and what does Rob Cohen give us? A quick cut cheapo and unintelligible, ungraceful, uninspired battle. Seriously it’s like they got to this moment and said – ok kick at each other… CUT… Hit at each other… CUT… Do More Kick and Hit stuff… CUT – and so on and so forth. SUPREMELY DISAPPOINTING.
That all said – it still manages to be very fun. Just realize it’s fun with problems – The film is still pretty vintage adventure – it still has fun magical mystical puzzles to figure out. And the change to China is very much welcomed.
In my book, the movie is totally worth it for the cute Yeti badasses and some of the throwaway Undead army stuff that had me giggling. I actually think though that Stephen did a better job with the previous two Mummy movies, as Cohen seems to not be at home with the style this movie is in. And frankly – I kinda think Sommers might have understood that Yeoh vs. Li was something that deserved more than a day or two to shoot. That was a two week epic battle waiting to be choreographed by a master choreographer – with cool magical three headed dragon versus Serpentine Dragon fun.
That said it is a fun distraction for a hot summer’s day or night. But only if you’ve seen DARK KNIGHT, HELLBOY 2, IRON MAN, INCREDIBLE HULK, WALL-E, WANTED, SPEED RACER and KUNG FU PANDA first. It is much better than THE LOVE GURU, JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, MEET DAVE, SEX AND THE CITY, GET SMART, the new X-FILES movie and HANCOCK.
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so whats goin on with the Pineapple Express for LA, haven't heard a notice
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Complain at him!
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alright then good riddence!
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Harry can't hate a movie
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sure he does, for instance Harry didn't like the movie the Other Boleyn Girl, i don't exactly know why but i thought it was a really good movie, especially when eric bana hulk bangs Natalie Portman... ya gotta love the guy , he's enthusiastic about his passion for watching motion pictures, just like how we backtalkers come to this forum to give our two cents
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Looks like that blue raspberry ICEE and that bucket of popcorn are in my immediate future.
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What happened to all the interviews Mori had for this? Did he dump them after the The Hot Blog Fight with Don Lewis?
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Whenever I see her now, I think of her as that fucking obnoxious character. So I'm glad to have her replaced by Bello, whose tits are admittedly pancakes compared to Weiz's, but you can't have everything.
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Harry likes even the biggest bs movie ... I can't take your reviews serious dude. Stop being such a kissass for Hollywood. Damn
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Goofy fun. Except the Yetis. I hated them.
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...but for a film like Mummy 3 I can't really complain. True, KOTCS should have utilized actual locations with real stunts and only resorted to CGI when it was absolutely necessary. That was the legacy of the franchise and was what made those films so great.The "legacy" of the Mummy films, on the other hand, was ridiculously over-the-top CGI to a humorous extent. That's what I expect to see when I go to a Mummy film, and to a certain extent, that's what I want.In my mind, what separated the Mummy films from the Indy films was the broad humor (which I thought worked really well, especially in the first film). It was light, fun, and didn't take itself too seriously.Which I liked...
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I'll see it tomorrow and may or may not agree with you Harry. Indiana sucked. I mean, it was incredibly horrible. So bad. Beyond horrible, save for the opening scene. This...well, it's a Mummy movie. The first was pretty fun, the second was overblown and ultimately mindnubely boring. i dunno, I'll see it.
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Wait - You thought it was Goofy Fun, but hated the Yetis? They were the pure definition of cuddly goofy fun
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...then find another site. I know you're a loser, probably ugly and forgettable, but dude, just go to another site. Harry has his opinons and knows more about movies than you ever will. If he likes a movie and you don't...well go suck a cock...because lord knows you aint getting any pussy. Loser. Haha, you're username is retarted.
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LOVE GURU, JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, THE HAPPENING - and this along with X-FILES 2 are very "critical" likes - not LOVES. But of course you'd have to read to understand that
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I see what you're implying but I'm pretty sure you're wrong.Harry enjoys every movie to varying degrees (which I can totally understand as I too love the act of WATCHING a film, regardless of quality), so I don't think his positive review is indicative of some grand conspiracy. Also, Alexandra DuPont's review was actually quite critical.If Moriarty, Quint, and Beaks write positive reviews then I'll happily subscribe to your theories. Until then, chalk it up to Harry's epic hard-on for filmed entertainment.
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You'd be able to eat and sandwich, chat on the telephone and suck your own cock all at the same time. So, yeah, there's no competition really.
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No mention in that list...
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I'm pretty sure you'll agree with me when I say that Quin't "movie a day" feature is pretentious and self-indulgent. You're clearly a reasonable man.
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Aug 01, 2008 4:13:16 AM CDT
Anyone seen that T4 spolier that Holy Moly's been reporting in t
by palimpsest
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Agreed. Strongly.
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Actually - I would disagree. Quint is on a voyage of film discovery. It's something that I would recommend for everyone. He's watching just one a day - I'm watching around 4-5 a day. Of course mine are all the current dvds flooding in. In legion. And I break it down into my DVD columns. BUT - Quint is a Film writer. A Film Writer that has IMMENSE holes in his film education. As a responsible boy, he is devouring and patching up as many holes in his education as possible. I love the column.
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I thought it was set in pre-Maoist China?
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Did you get those Dvd's and posters I dropped off in London?
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How did it rank against Goldsmith's original and Silvestri's for the sequel? I am a big fan of the musics in this series, please.
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I don't think there's anything wrong with what he's doing, it's something I've done myself on several occasions over the years. I just don't think there's really enough substance there to make an interesting ongoing column.
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Brother, are you serious with that list of movies you've been critical of?
"LOVE GURU, JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH, THE HAPPENING - and this along with X-FILES 2 are very "critical" likes"
You're really going out on a limb with these picks. That's like saying you didn't like the smell of poop, shit, puke or ass.
Just admit it, you're an easy lay. A real easy lay. -
It is - but they're played like pre-Commie Militarist.
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I just saw his name in a preview on tv. If that isn't important, I don't know what is.
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well, we should date and you tell me
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Then don't read it. You've seem to have taken the column personally and crusaded against it over several talkbacks. Let it go and find something you like to read.
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and I am with Harry on this one. This movie was plain fun. It had its flaws, that is for sure, but it was entertaining.
I didn't so much miss Weisz's character as much as I hated the son's bit. They could have handled the kid better, and his love interest dialogue. I was laughing so hard at that "I don't think my heart could bear it" bit, I mean really the pool of eternal life was right there.
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Well, if you roll over for your dates the way you roll over for mediocre popcorn movies, you must have all manner of STDs.
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Somehow I got a feeling I will enjoy Mummy3 more than Indy4, simply because it is a series I don't give a shit about. Heck, Luke Ford could break into a musical number with undead monkeys as he does a Shia and I'd lap it up. Also, I got a feeling I'll love Indy4 even more after watching Mummy3, it will remind me how bad Indy4 could have been.
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All know the love you have for Del Toro and I don't mind it, but sticking to Hellboy 2 animation and not giving us a Dark Knight version of you... now that is something that doesn't make sense. You didn't love Dark Knight enough or never cared about Batman, or Joker?
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Cartuna went on hiatus to shoot a short film, but is actually on work now on a Dark Knight one. I think you'll really enjoy it.
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and oddly I initially didn't like the first MUMMY at all.
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Upon repeat viewings, I've come to like the first MUMMY - but prefer the goofy fantasy of the second more. So right now I'd say that this is the third best of the series. Mainly due to the lack of Rachel.
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And Treat Williams should get more work. MUMMY RETURNS didn't sit with me at all well. I think it was the idea of leaving sandcastles as clues...
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Who in their right mind still cuts up a fight? Those people should be exiled to DTV land... and shot.
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didn't include Indy IV, in either of the lists of films you like or dislike. What does this mean ????
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Tho the rule of thumb is this: a poor MUMMY movie, who cares? A good MUMMY movie, we're all happy. A poor Lucas/Spielberg movie, we've a right to be unhappy. Not necessarily to the extent of allegations of touching your childhood inappropriately, but you know what I mean. The higher the bar is set, the greater the disappointment when its not reached.
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Aug 01, 2008 6:00:57 AM CDT
Harry bleats about The Mummy... says jack about Dark Knight...
by juglicker
What is this? I've read AICN for years - Harry commonly rants for pages over substandard or just plain average movies (frankly, I come to read Mori, Quint, Capone and the rest who actually provide useful info instead of dropping names and references that only the "cool" movie watchers will recognise i.e. people who watched old shit movies). Then, a movie that has received rave reviews from all corners gets a "meh... it was good *shrug*" from Harry... And the next review I see is this... which receives more love... argh...
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Except for maybe a brief paragraph in a future DVD write-up. In his heart of hearts, he loves KOTCS, but if he writes anything on it in any review of any other film, that's all the Whiners will talk about in the ensuing Backtalk. By the way, Harry, I enjoyed "Indy IV" as much as you. So much fun, so much nostalgia, and Ford was great once again as my hero. Great popcorn muncher. I feel sorry for you sometimes, Headgeek. You have a great life, but you have surrounded yourself with a LOT of cynicism and negativity. You like what you like. F everyone else and their small, miserable existence.
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To add that the one main disappointment I had with the movie was the lack of imagination. It seemed to me that they just took what worked from 1 & 2 and put them together for this, which is good since they still work. But, they stopped right after that. We get to see shangri-la, yet we only explore a cave of it. Harry touched on the wizard and witch fight, we get another version of the Hero fight instead of bat-shit crazy magic duel, etc. Don't get me wrong, the movie was great and fun, but it could have been way better. Anyway..
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I can't stand when the medium of film snowballs into a loud, over edited random bunch of flashy shit on screen.Some people like it, Actually a lot of people(WANKERS) go to chat or eat noisy shit, or phone their friends and generally not watch the movie for the plot or the acting or the magic.I do, I go to sit in the dark and be taken to places and meet characters and watching real craft at work and hopefully a few of those magic ingredients merge to give you a meaningful and moving slice of movie entertainment. This sounds like it has some of those ingredients - Great action, locations some top actors and things like dragons and Yetis and armies of the undead! Unfortunately it sounds like it snowballs into a loud, over edited random bunch of flashy shit on screen!So i won't go!PS it doesn't even have any fucking MUMMIES!!!
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The forgot.. post was me. The irony of the title being I forgot to sign out of my brothers name.. Anyway.. God damn CNN.
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So now, I know that I will definately see this movie, but I should wait for the right mood.
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Quint has the only section on this site that I'm reading on a regular basis. I ain't a comic book fan, nor do I watch TV. But, Quint's section has me queuing up more shit on Netflix than I ever had before. I hope they keep it for a while.
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I think I'll just see Dark Knight again. Wait for the DVD on this one.
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Why oh why oh why does their kid get older while his parents never seem to age?!! It's been 10 years since the last one and they look exactly the same (well, except for the morphing of Weisz into Bello, that is). That irked the hell out of me in the unmitigated crapfest that was the Mummy Returns, and it's already irked the hell out of me in the trailers for this one. Have they found some kind of age-defying elixir during their 'adventures'? Does fighting mummies keep you young? Apologies if anyone has already mentioned this, but it's been driving me NUTS! I know it's just a movie, and a movie in which all sorts of impossible shit happens, but I don't care!! Gaaaahhhh! I feel better. Sort of.
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Aug 01, 2008 6:55:29 AM CDT
I have it on good word that Mummy 3 is everything Indy 4...
by rbatty024
promised to be but wasn't. I won't reveal my sources (but I will say he's sixteen and his father goes by the name of Merrick). Maybe I'll catch this film on television some time when they play it repeatedly on TNT.
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There may have been one that he didn't like, but I can't remember which one. Maybe he just loves being in the theater and eating his jumbo tub of popcorn but it's tough to take your film criticism seriously when you like everything (including Attack of the Clones and Godzilla, famously)
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You sang the praises of that POS and it was one of the most inane films I have ever paid to see.
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Mediocre Actor or Complete Hack...Discuss
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Does the main guy make a jokey reference to past installments of this mind-numbingly awful franchise? I'm guess somewhere in the range of 600 billion times? More? How many times?
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The story was fine,the characters great but the writting on HB 2 was DISPICKABLE!!!
But...I hope your right about The Mummy 3,I just want some mindless adventure fun. -
THe story was a mess, the characters were annoying, there was nothing to identify with and without that all the FX became boring after half an hour. I can't see how anyone would give this movie a pass. It was goofy, sure, but not fun. Believe DuPont, guys. Not Harry.
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As ridiculously hackneyed as his reviews have always been you guys are as guilty in the stupid department as you have never been able to adjust to his writing "style" and seem to complain every single week. I know he's supposed to be one of the biggest names in online film criticism, and that it's hard to take him seriously especially when the title of his review sounds like a five-year-old wrote it - but he brings you so much more than his banal reviews. Do what I do - don't read his reviews unless you really have to... and take it with a grain of salt.
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How much have you lost?
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Show him a piece of hollywood fluff and watch him assume the position
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If a movie gets disliked by a certain percentage of movie critics (a high percentage of whom are internet nobodies) then one should avoid liking it, if at all possible. I call bullshit on every person whose argument for not liking this or any other movie or review starts with "It got (add percent here) on rottentomatoes." I enjoy Harry's reviews for the exact reason that he doesn't try to be a critic of haute culture standing. He either enjoys it or he doesn't. But, I do have to frown on him recommending "Hellboy2" "Hancock" "Sex and the City" and "The Incredible Hulk."
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these movies don't take themselves seriously. They are like a theme park ride.
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As the Joker once said, why so serious? Now granted the son acts like a punk and there is no Rachel Weisz, so that kind of turns me away but hell, I might see it. It's not a priority but I probably will.
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Memories-of-Murder... how is it that a man dressed like a bat can ride a tank through a city of 30 million and not kill anyone (especially when he's running over police cars!)? This is not a defense of the Mummy 3. I haven't seen it. But, c'mon. There are a lot of logical holes in any movie. How is it that the man in the truck in The Dark Knight knew that the guy the Joker wanted dead was in the police SUV? Just because there were a lot of cop cars behind it? And, why is it that the SUV decided to move forward just as its light was turning red? Why did the bankman lay there with a smoke grenade in his mouth? I LOVED the Dark Knight, but don't pretend it didn't have its own inconsistencies.
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Seriously.
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He loves bullshit as long as it is "big, dumb fun." And I love Harry.
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Who So Serious because I'm paying $10 for two hours I can't get back. That is just torture. That is why so serious.
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...bugnuts, ya bastard!
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Mummy-I was funny and fun with a grand sense of adventure. Part two was just dumb, reheated leftovers. This one might be the better followup I was hoping for. Some of the CGI in the previews looks truly awful (the Yetis/dragon) but I'll be there tonight, popcorn in hand. Like I said, can't be any worse than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Thick Skull.
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Because he was shot.
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Bullshit, Harry. I love you, but I'm calling it right now. X-Files may have felt like a 2 hour TV movie, but you'll be hard-pressed to find the kind of loopholes you're finding in Mummy 3 (among other things you've called out in this review) than complaints you had with your pretty positive X-Files review.
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Seriously, I think most of the movies that Rob Cohen has directed are shit. "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" was compelling enough, and I thought "The Fast and the Furious" was fun, if a little heavy-handed. What can I say? I liked "Point Break", which "The Fast and the Furious" copied almost exacly note for note. But I'm not holding out any hope for this, if what I'm hearing is correct...
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...played the General who got ripped to shreds, not the evil commie bastard. He also starred in some TV miniseries Cohen produced many years ago. Also, to my knowledge he isn't a Hong Kong staple; he's actually half-American. He and Anthony Wong are two different guys.
I enjoyed this movie, oddly enough. I won't defend it against anyone who didn't, except for the people who say it's worse than the shit fest that had the WORST FUCKING CGI EVER in the "Scorpion King," ludicrous FUCKING PYGMY MUMMIES, and a CGI army ripped out of goddamned STARCRAFT. This movie is still a step up from the second one, even if it's not as fun as the first.
And Maria Bello is a more convincing action star than Rachel. Honestly.
The stunt work was pretty good, though I keep recalling Alexandra DuPont's review where she dwells on the stuntwoman who landed on her kneecaps. I also remember thinking, fuck that must have hurt. -
Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, Dragonheart, and now this. Hehe.
I wouldn't be too hard on Cohen; I mean, Dragonheart was actually pretty okay, especially David Thewlis' goofy-ass villain. And Harry, you never did rate Randy Edelman's score, which I thought held up pretty well against the two that came before it... -
Aug 01, 2008 11:36:35 AM CDT
Some movies stimulate the mind, some are like getting high
by terry1978
Mummy is like the guilty pleasure....people can be all mature and intellectual, yet they can chill on a weekend and get drunk off their ass as well..that's what these types of movies are, getting drunk off your ass.
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Aug 01, 2008 12:31:04 PM CDT
the first 2 was barely worth the ticket (but worth the ticket!)
by bmacsmith
funny how these movies arent good by any means, but manage to amuse me just enough to not be pissed off i payed to see them. i figure part three will be the same. you could do worse.
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should have been Indiana Jones 4. steven directing. ford instead of frasier. a few tweeks and you have a better movie than both The Mummy and Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. Indiana Jones and the Mummy's Curse. search your feelings, you know it to be true.
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i was bored to tears. i left aftert the tornado scene. i figured that was the big FX shot and couldnt care less about what happened after that.
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Anything. Even the supposedly child-hood raping Indy 4 (I'd like to line up every one of you who have uttered that in talkbacks and beat you with a rake). I'm holding out for the porn parody, Sucks in the City.
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Rachel Weisz was the only thing the first two movies had going for them.
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Aug 01, 2008 1:44:53 PM CDT
Harry's not a film critic and therefore shouldn't worry about th
by beastie
He writes about what he likes. He made a site about it. That's his job. That's why Harry isn't on RottenTomatoes (he isn't is he)? I can't believe how much bitching goes on about this FREE site. You're not fucking paying for it and you goddamn bitch about this guy's opinion.I'm not completely free of the complaints, myself. I have complained about comments that Harry has made that sounded either offensive or turned him into the common talkback, but at the same time, I appreciate this FREE site that I come to on a more than daily basis.
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You get a lot of shit, and are called "arrogant", "narrow minded", etc. in your views of "popular" movies. I am curious what movies have you liked that would be considered fun, or even dumb fun, that you enjoyed that others didn't "get".
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Aug 01, 2008 1:49:48 PM CDT
"isn’t that better than being able to suck your own cock? Pretty
by skimn
Frightening thought of the day. Does Harry swallow or spit?
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I wouldn't see this film if Brendan Frasier came over to my house, set up a projector and PAID me to watch it. How can anyone risk tainting their summer movie-going experience by finishing off with this turd? This was one of the greatest movie summers in recent memory! Almost every film delivered. "Wanted" was the only movie that left me wanting a refund for my time. The Dark Knight was the icing on the cake and I am done with summer 2008.
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I just do man.
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It's not the greatest movie, it's not even the best Mummy movie (that would be part 2), but it's a decent amount of fun. Yes, the Yeoh/Li fight is disappointing, the action scenes are kinda poorly shot, and the Yeti "field goal" shit was retarded. But the son was likable enough (moreso than Shia's character), there was actual chemistry with the two leads (a married couple who AREN'T bickering/on the edge of divorce, Abyss/Die Hard-style?? AMAZING) and it was never boring or dragged on too long. I actually think the entire last 30 minutes was all action, Attack of the Clones style. John Hannah is annoying, but at least he's not saying gibberish like Oxley or turning on Brendan Fraser every 5 mintues. No nuking the fridge, no gophers, no monkeys. Oh, and I actually understood what the fuck happened at the end.
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Get Smart is up there with Iron Man and Speed Racer as contending for one of the best movies I saw this summer. Maybe it helps that I loved the source material on all three counts, and the creators of those three movies obviously loved and respected the source material just as much. But for this to be better than one of those is intense praise indeed.
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If it sucks as much as I thinkit will then I'll go see the dark knight tomorrow to make up for it.
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...was a much better movie than this.
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All he has to do is find a girl with green eyes, marry her and then sacrifice her so he can go on to rule the world from beyond the grave!
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Or check into an asylum, whichever comes first...
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never type on an iPhone without serious proofreading. Shit.
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As far as I'm concerned, this movie looks pathetic, in every way. An uninspired story, a cast that ONLY signed on to this project for the paycheck, and shoddy effects work.All signs point to this movie not getting one penny from my pocket! It's shameless how movies like this are churned out and expected to be taken seriously.I am American, but I also like my entertainment to be somewhat intelligently entertaining. A few weeks ago, I watched an interview featuring the director of this movie, the crap that spewed forth from his lips made we want to move to Mars.
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"Shut up, Mr whatyoufear. You weren't put on this earth to 'get it'.
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He was good in School Ties. Of course, that was 16 f**kin years ago!!
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Bullshit!
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Some people develop a mental glitch, kind of a neurological equivalent to a skipping record, where their mind fixates on one little detail, and can't proceed. A biological version of a software bug. Chumkid's stuck on Quint's movie-a-day column, in the same way the guy is who eventually demolishes his house with a sledgehammer trying to stop the buzzing of a fly. Not only can he not understand that other people may like the column, he can't understand why we aren't all outraged at its mere existence.
Or, maybe he's just a troll.
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Weisz was not only too cute but her smile and humor was the only bright spot in an otherwise dark horror flick. Without her stage presence, any future mummy movies lack any soul. No Weisz I'm a no show.
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using football gestures to indicate that the kick was good. If you let that kind of shit slide in a movie that costs millions and millions of dollars and expects us to shell out $10 in the theater then you are an apologist. I won't take it seriously and will turn my back on it. I thank you for letting us know what we could expect.
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Is one of the best things going for AICN. If you don't like it, shut the fuck up and ignore it, asshole. I don't have an interest in comics, graphic novels, or anime, but I don't begrudge the people or writers here who do. I'm actually happy that they have someplace to get together here and comment on something of interest that they share. Try to stop spreading your negative, unguided hate for a subject and move on to things that make you happy, like sniffing glue, eating box after box of Hostess Ho Ho's, and masturbating to Miley Cyrus CD case pictures.
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You're posting in here more than the talkbackers while huge movie releases have come and gone without so much as a five word review from you. I mean seriously, is there anybody on the planet who's going to remember Mummy 3 after this weekend?
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It IS.
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whenever I see a Mummy flick on TV. I watched them both as rentals and found them so so without much reason to view a second time. Honestly, I'd rather watch Transformers or Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds than a Mummy flick. To be honest, I didn't get the hostile reaction to Transformers that was expressed. Of course, I didn't give a rat's ass about either the toys or the cartoon, so to me it was just a great big battling giant robot movie. War of the Worlds was an evil bugs from outer space invade earth and spend a lot of money on FX movie. I actually found Cruise to be somewhat watchable. But then again, I have always found it easy to let go of pre-concieved notions before I see a movie. And I thought Peter Jackson's King Kong was nifty, too. Guess I don't know what's good or bad. But then again, I don't really care. I find most people's taste in music to be pure shite, so there.
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I don't know what you were aiming at there, Harry, but it looks like a mis-link.
I don't know about this Meat-Pies nonsesne, but perhaps you were wishfully thinking about the Bai Ling, Tony Leung feature, 'Dumplings'? -
Aug 01, 2008 6:57:18 PM CDT
THE MUMMY FILMS ARE FUN! FANBOYS ARE DEPRESSING!
by earthquake westcoast
To the average (non-fanboy) the mummy films were fun, escapist entertainment! It seems that all you fanboys only like DARK,DEPRESSING FILMS! What's up with that? Relax and enjoy a fun, even stupid film once in a while. The audience that saw Mummy 3 with me loved the Yetis! Who gives a rats ass if the yetis kicking a touchdown wasn't realistic! We're talking about FREAKING YETIS! WHO'S TO F****ING SAY YETIS DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL! GIVE ME PROOF THAT THEY DON'T! HAHA! BTW.....Indy 4 was also a fun film to MOST OF THE AVERAGE MOVIE GOER! Especially with the over 40 crowd. They ate it up. As for DARK KNIGHT, it WASN'T the best film ever! It was just a good film, but nothing life changing. It's no EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, ALIENS, RETURN OF THE KING, THE INCREDIBLES, RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. It was just a dark and depressing film. And I don't know why fanboys love the joker's pencil trick. That was nothing special. And the joker just acted like the crazy bad guy from the japanese film "Azumi". Heath did a good performance though, but it's nothing to get excited about and scream over like all you fanboys have been doing. Dam, you act like little teenybopper schoolgirls at a hanaha montana concert. Nothing wrong with the fridge scene in Indy 4 either! It fits right along with Indy falling a thousand feet off a plane in a life raft (temple of doom), and magical knights still alive from the crusades (last crusade), or even Indy being dragged in the back of a moving truck without dying (Raiders). Enjoy life people! Enjoy it now before the Iran war starts and they start drafting people (both men and women) ages 18-32! Proceed.
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Sometimes I'm really into the'two-bucks-a-blowjob roadside whore." It's a sickness. Like me the nasty girls sometimes.
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Replacing her(Weisz) is like replacing scully in the x-files movie with Laura Dern and bleaching her hair red even though Julianne Moore would have been the best choice.
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Harry, just when I start to trust your judgment again. Mummy3 is NOT better then Hancock.
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Why didn't Jet Li or Michelle Yeoh, say: wait a minute these fight sequences or shite, let us choreograph them.
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Saw the film with my family last night and we all had a good time!! Hey Earthquake Westcoast, I agree with everything you said!
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Wasn't a miss-link. 'Bunman The Untold Story' is about a psycho restaurant owner who kills and gets rid of the victims in his 'pork buns'.
But that guy is Anthony Wong not Russell so maybe Harry just got the name wrong. -
your posts prove you are the Type of movie "FAN" that needs the stick pulled out- (much like DuPont), learn to enjoy a movie for what it is, rather than what it could be- or rather what you wished it to be....as for the Dark Knight, yes the Joker had some elements of humor, but to truly see the epitome of the Joker- and here I too am guilty of viewing a movie with prejudiced eyes- read The Killing Joke, that is the perfect Joker
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At least the Yetis didn't fist bump, because that would be Muslim.
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at www.youtube.com/jtsstudios
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Again, you miss the point...The Mummy is not a great movie, i don't claim it is, nor do i think anyone involved else would, it IS however a damn good "B" movie, a fun enjoyable movie that people like yourself and many reviewers seem to hate simply for the fact that it got made,and effort wasnt made to be something more than a "B" movie. Rather than enjoying it for what it is.....Not every Movie needs to be approached like its trying for Academy award recognition- That is what is wrong in Hollywood, people overreaching and not knowing their limitations- know your audience and give them what they want....there is a market for All kinds of films-the box office clearly reflects this.
In short,seeing your list of movie likes, I am not suprised you didnt like it- you were not in the target demographic for this film........Its got a place on my DVD shelf ,as my film collection ranges in a wide gambit from Casablanca to The Godfather to The Usual Suspects, Appleseed to Transformers and even(gasp) Ghostrider and Batman Begins. What I watch depends on my mood and who I am with.
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An atractive and great actress, who may be related to Erich Weisz aka Harry Houdini should naturally be missed movie fans everywhere, period end of story. Her stage presence in the first two movies cannot be denied by any serious movie or magic buff for that matter.
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Mummy 3 equals McDonalds! Fun to eat...but will kill you in your sleep. While a movie like Iron man equals In-n-Out burger(If you're from california then you know what I mean). The Empire Strikes Back= Oh I don't know...maybe having your girlfriend actually make you a pizza from fresh bake dough she made herself and from a garden that she's been growing in her backyard for the past few months just to prepare for the day in which she's going to make you the pizza.
Oh....Mummy 3 was fun!
Oh again....Dumb movies don't make people stupid. Reality television makes people stupid! -
..you don't have to qualify it with "but its just about the goofy fun".
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Can this site please start grouping reviews for the same movie under the same post? Do we really need 3 Mummy talkbacks going on at the same time?
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All the now hate or whatever you want to call it towards TDK was expected. Because you guys want to look like rebels or whatever. So I yawn to your responses I had more FUN in TDK than any movie in a long time.
Anyway this movie was fun too. I laughed through out, it's just one of those bad movies that's fun to watch. Jet Li was wasted, his Mummy was just a mix of like half a dozen other villains from other movies. But it was much better than Hancock which was not fun during the last half just boring. -
ain't that the truth and the Mummy banner ads have to pay for something. All the other reviewers on the site bashed it though, so Harry still has the last laugh and can pay his rent. I have no problem with that, but it does hurt his reviewing cred a bit.
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sorry but in the end its all subjective.....Me I can enjoy the Mummy 3 for what it is trying to be (and hope they do make the reported 2 more), heck I didnt even mind Van Helsing-and neither did my 10 and 12 yr old kids....On the other hand I dont get the fascination with the Apatow Films, The Office or Scrubs-but I understand that some people enjoy them-more power to them,(me I'd rather watch Caddyshack or as it on at the same time,an episode of CSI) but i would resort to saying that they arent worth watching or are somehow unworthy of being made...
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More people eat at McDonalds worldwide then any other food establishment-Healthy? no Fast? yes Tastes good? yes Inexpensive? yes...The People who go there know what they are getting and except it, they don't want people telling them to watch out for cholesterol or Fat content,if they were worried they'd eat someplace else, its what they want...they aren't going expecting to get a well rounded meal and don't really want one
Same for movies, you got your B movies and they let you recognize and appreciate the true GEMS when they come out as well as the truly bad films- say 90% of what airs on the sci-fi channel on a Saturday nights -THAT'S where you'll find truly bad SFX, dialog and production values -
self righteous ass....I'll wager more people Like McDonalds than don't...I find it harder to believe that people like, much less are satisfied after a diner a Spago, sorry not impressed-Good yes, filling, no... MAYBE once year- WAY, WAY over priced ...much like 90% of society...some people seem to be under the impression the higher price = quality...Give me a $15 steak and chicken dinner from the Texas Roadhouse anyday...perhaps in the end you maybe right as for repeated viewing, I'd rather pay $5 for a matinee show of a "B" movie like the Mummy 2 than pay to sit through an overblown film like There will be Blood a second time...If I am going out to a movie i want to be entertained and have a good time......certainly given the state of today's theaters with obnoxious kids, people talking and cell phones going off (worst invention ever, glad i now carry a cell phone jammer)
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The "B" movies give us all the more reason to Appreciate the good ones, which yes, are truly few and far between.....
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I've seen the orignal british show and still dont get the adoration, sure its funny in spots but overall.....
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when Rob Cohen was accounced. The same can be said about McG's Terminator. It doesn't matter if you have Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh or Christian Bale. You don't let a hack near a good actor. Period.
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No, I meant what I said....and I have seen and understand the idea behind the The Office UK and the US version.. I just dont get the adoration for either show-though i do find the performance of both Gervais and Carell entertaining overall it's ok but not worth the fawning over people have done....
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Seriously. I want to know.
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a whole lot. Had lots of action, some nice wire-fu, cgi was actually pretty good...even the yeti scenes did not make me groan.
Kind-of confused why everyone is crapping on this film, it is a mummy film, I would have thought folks were not expecting the next Dark Knight / Iron Man, but what do I know. Sure, I had low expectations, and just wanted to be entertained for a couple of hours, but sometimes that is all I need, a check your brain at the door matinee on a nice Sunday afternoon.Also, I thought the chase through Shanghai? streets was actually well done, and as fun as the one KOTCS. One last thing, the more I see the Death Race trailer, the more I want to see the film, mindless violence for around 2-hours...I can live with that.
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I thought after reading Harry's and everyone else's reveiw of The Dark Knight, we were just overlooking flaws at this point. Brendan Frasier the Actor and Christopher Nolan the Screen Writer = Sad
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You've got to be kidding. Even if you think Hancock failed at its ambitions (which i don't - I think hancock was quite good), you've got to respect its intelligence and craft more than this overblown, creatively lazy and overbudgeted fiasco. It terms of storyline, character development and dialog, this movie was just plain awful. Get Smart had more joy, coherence, wit and acting prowess (and more coherent action scenes) than The Musmmy (and I don't rank get Smart terribly highly...)
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Total cheese, yes, but much more coherent action and the "emotional" moments were (even such as they were) 100 times more effective than the completely unbelievable relationship mess they try to stir in the Mummy (Boy, was the son in the Mummy insufferable...)
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Harry, the evil 1940's General is a nationalist (like Chang kai Chek), not a communist. One of the few interesting aspects of this film is that Jet Li's Mummy army is very fascistic, wheras the "good" undead army is like a ragtag peasent army. While jet Li, exhorting his army, talks of world domination and strict control (which is what the evil 1940's general wants too), Michelle Yeoh calls up the "good" undead army with refrences to freedom and throwing off the yoke of tyranny. That scene plays almost like a Maoist propaganda sequence. No wonder China let this production be filmed on the mainland. We in the USA may confuse the modern general with communists, but the chinese will recognise the uniforms and know he represents the nationalists, who were the enemies of the communist (and losing to them in 1947, which would motivate raising a mummy for help)
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do not make it any better
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Yay!
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In terms of believability, Indy 4 is the better movie. It also had cgi prarie dogs...something you'll never see in any other movie, ever, until the end of time. Mummy 3 probably dissapointed less, but that doesn't make it better, just safer.
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Saw it three times. I felt it got better with each viewing. It's a very detailed, intricate movie and I got more out of it each time.
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And that comes from a life long Indy fan...
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You could see the thought bubble over Yeoh and Li's head. "God, I'm getting a dinosaur scrotum filled with thousand dollar bills to be in this."
From the CGI to Frasier's lack-luster performance, this movie made me want to set my eyes on fire. The fact I gave money to this typhoon of mediocrity makes me wretch. The word terrible seems like a compliment.
The plot - hideous. There wasn't a Mummy in the bunch - just undead wandering about. The performances? From Bello's wooden stand in to Luke Ford's lackluster Indy 4 rip-off (btw, I didn't care for the Indy film but even their 'adventuring son' wasn't as irritating) to the unbelievable romance, and, WTF? YETI'S?
It's appropriate the trailer before this film was The Day The Earth Stood Still - The Unneeded Remake With The King of 'Woah'
Kill your pets after seeing this film and maybe you can rinse the atrocity from your brain. But I wouldn't count on it. -
And it wasn't bad at all. In fact it was lighthearted, entertaining summer movie. Yes, the martial arts was a little disappointing, but it's not a martial arts movie anyway. Perhaps if I went in with low expectations with Indy 4, I would've liked it more ... nah ... it really did suck. At least the actors in this Mummy movie look like they are having fun in their roles. It's certainly a step up from the CGI Rock in pt 2 ... that was pretty bad. There's definitely still life in this series unlike Indy. I'd take Indy-LITE over Uninspired Indy any day. Though the box office may say different.
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The girl who played the daughter of the witch was amazingly cute! I just want to hug her!
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Indy IV is like a story that your great grandad told your grandad who then told your dad who then told you, and the version you're hearing is wildy goofier than the original. I enoyed the first Mummy film. It didn't feel as silly as the second one, and it felt like it new how ridiculous it was.
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That's right, felt like it new.
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I personally thought Weisz seemed uncomfortable doing comedy in the previous Mummy films. I thought Bello had more insight to the comic timing and reactions to situations much better. Rachel...stick to straight drama..it's more your forte.
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This was trying to recapture the same film with the missing parts. And all those 'I hate Mummy' lines had me reeling. Ive done this before and such.
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I know I'm late chiming in here, but I just saw Mummy 3 and it had all the elements of a big adventure movie, and completely wasted them by being a charmless, color-by-numbers, least amount of fun I've had with a movie in a long time.
The reason people enjoyed The Mummy - sure it'd been done before but it was more charming than most. I'd say it's the reason they got enough money to make Mummy Returns.
Mummy 3 had the actors and effects all trying, but the rest of the production from the dialogue to the music (sorry but that main theme was repeated enough to make me notice it and took me out of the story) - just dull and lifeless.
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