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The Truth Is Kind Of A Snore!! Alexandra DuPont Calls X-FILES 2 A Dull, Low-Budget, Underwhelming Rush Job!!

The X-Files: I Want to Believe: FAQ (by Alexandra DuPont) _____

shipper -- The term "ship" came from the X-Files fandom, when fanfics were written about Mulder and Scully. The fans then called themselves "shippers." It ... is now the title a person gives themself if they believe two characters should or will be together. -- The Urban Dictionary _____


Q. What's the (spoiler-free) upshot? "The X-Files: I Want to Believe" isn't horrible, exactly. (Or at least it isn't horrible until its coffin-nail-bad final shot, which comes midway through the end credits, and which I'm totally going to spoil below.) But right now -- while the filmmakers are asking you to pay full ticket price plus concessions for the privilege of seeing it -- the movie just feels horrible. It feels horrible because it's a dull, low-budget, and underwhelming rush-job that comes after years of speculation and build-up. The film is padded. It's uninspired. It's a total TV movie (only without any of the sex/comedy/horror/mystery spark that made the TV show pop for half a decade). And it discards its legacy like it's shunning a relative. It plays like one of the show's less-interesting stand-alone episodes. I'm a casual user of the show, but I'm guessing harder-core fans would rank it somewhere in the lower 25 percent of the series' stand-alone eps. I'm also pretty sure everyone is going to royally hate it -- especially the show's remaining fans. And I'm guessing those "shipper" LiveJournal communities will self-immolate out of sheer depression over how disappointing and un-sexy the whole thing is, but maybe that immolation needed to happen. Writer/director Chris Carter cranked out the script just before the writer's strike (it was a condition of his getting to make the film, apparently), and it shows. He falls on episodic-TV crutches to the degree that the film seems to pause for commercial breaks -- with every dramatic beat dropping pretty much when and where you expect it to. "I Want to Believe" also leaves me wondering if Carter truly understands the formula that made his show such a phenomenon; he seems concerned with all the wrong stuff. Anyway. Spoilers galore from here on out.

Q. What's the story? I'm going to get a little more into the story than usual -- just because I want to impress upon hard-core fans exactly how ripped off they'll feel if they spend $30 each on movie-theater dates to see this rather than waiting for home video. It's six years since Fox Mulder became a fugitive, after finally learning "The Truth" that aliens will launch a large-scale invasion of Earth on Dec. 22, 2012. He's responded to this paradigm-exploding news by growing a beard and ... well, that's pretty much the only way he's changed, actually. (Earth's impending doom is not mentioned once -- though Carter has said he wants to deal with it in the next feature film if enough of you do spend that $30.) Mulder is also living with Scully -- who works under her own name as a surgeon at a Catholic hospital and gets in long, boring arguments with a priest over the care of a little boy with a rare disorder that may or may not be fixable with painful stem-cell treatments. (The hospital subplot exists solely to pad out the narrative to feature length, and it wouldn't be any less interesting if it tried to show you its stamp collection.) Baby William is long gone. They discuss him once, but not specifically. Suddenly, a development! Two new FBI agents (Alvin "Xzibit" Joiner and Amanda Peet, playing roles I'll bet were originally planned for Robert Patrick and Annabeth Gish) ask Mulder to come back and help with a case. Scully passes on the message that "all is forgiven" -- the phrase "all is forgiven" is literally used -- and that's all it takes for Fox to climb on a chopper and fly to Washington. "Good Lord," you may ask, "What case could be so monumental that the FBI would choose to ignore the fact that Mulder was sentenced to death during a trumped-up military tribunal?" Well, a single FBI agent has gone missing. And a convicted pedophile priest (Billy Connolly) is having psychic visions that lead Xzibit and Peet to various severed body parts buried in the snow. The Bureau wants Mulder to confirm the priest's psychic abilities. It goes without saying that the case ends up being weirder that everyone expects. It's a goofy mess involving organ trafficking, terrorized women in boxes, gay Russians, the guy who plays Leoben on "Battlestar Galactica," and dogs with extremely silly modifications. It's all happening, if memory serves, in West Virginia, and when you see it, you'll find yourself mildly stunned that Carter thought this was a story worthy of a feature-length comeback attempt. (That fake werewolf photo leaked by Carter as a joke was much more promising than what we actually got, frankly. I would have loved to see Mulder and Scully freelancing as ghost-breakers and tangling with updated versions of classic movie monsters in something with wit and atmosphere.) Oh, and Mulder and Scully have ill-defined, breakup-level disagreements over Scully wanting to spend less time "in the darkness" while building a sunny home life with Mulder, or something. (Never mind that she's the one who brokers the meeting that gets him into the new case.) Given everything that’s come before, this "relationship issue" feels totally manufactured -- it's as if Carter felt he needed to move a few pieces back and forth on the soap-opera chessboard to stimulate the 'shippers without giving them any actual dramatic nourishment.

Q. What's good? 1. There's one provocative idea here: Would God use a pedophile priest as an instrument of justice? It's kind of an offensive idea after we learn the priest's connection with one of his abuse victims, but at least it's an idea worthy of "The X-Files" Everything else in the movie is basically filler. 2. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson look yoga-butt-fantastic. 3. Leoben from "Battlestar Galactica" does a nice hambone Russian accent. If you squint, he kind of looks like a greasy Daniel Craig. 4. There's this one-scene character who's semi-funny: the super-literal old hick who runs a rural swimming pool. 5. The opening-credits shot features a full moon and it's nicely spooky, if clichéd.

Q. What's not-so-good? 1. Carter makes the exact same mistake here he made in the later seasons of the TV series: He introduces a couple of bland FBI agents (Peet, Xzibit) who aren't as charismatic as Mulder, Scully, or Skinner -- then gives these new agents action and conversation scenes that would have been a lot more entertaining to watch with Mulder, Scully, or Skinner. 2. Oh, and speaking of which: Walter Skinner is awkwardly dropped into the movie for about 10 minutes toward the end. What the hell, Mitch Pileggi -- is "Stargate: Atlantis" really keeping you THAT busy? 3. The relationship stuff is boring. There's probably a drinking game in counting the number of times Mulder and Scully have a discussion that seems to break up their partnership, only to have some new development or coincidence force them back together in the next five minutes. 4. Scully's hospital subplot is boring. 5. Mulder isn't half as quippy with the wisecracks as he was in the show and the first movie. 6. The series is (justly) credited with upping the cinematic standards of television programming. "I Want to Believe," on the other hand, brings television standards into the cinema. It's just this slate-grey spool of uninteresting edits and compositions, with few establishing shots and weaksauce action choreography. I know the studio only gave Carter $30 million to play with, but come on. 7. Still talking about Mulder's sister? Really? 8. The movie's final shot is just mind-bendingly, stunningly, fanbase-killingly awful. You ready? I'm spoiling this: The end credits feature a too-bouncy remix of Mark Snow's "X-Files" theme over shots of the snowscapes we've been seeing for the entire film. Gradually, the snow melts into water. Suddenly, mid-credits, you're flying over a sunny tropical seascape. A tiny rowboat sneaks into view. It contains a shirtless Mulder and a bikini-clad Scully -- apparently on some sort of post-horrorshow, relationship-healing vacation, where I guess they'll while away the days sipping rum punch until the aliens land. The camera pauses over them, looking down -- and they look up and wave. I am not making this up. Everything wrong with "The X-Files: I Want to Believe" is summed up in that final shot, which is now the final image we have of these characters. Warmest, Alexandra DuPont AlexandraDuPont@yahoo.com







P.S. I guess I stand corrected on the pressing "Did Harvey Dent leave stains on his pillow?" issue, raised in last week's "Dark Knight" review. (I still think there should have been a little more gravy on those linens, but America has spoken.) I'd also like to know how so many e-mails containing the subject head "pillow stains" got through my spam filter. Arm yourself to attack my critical judgment! It's easy and fun! Visit The DuPont Bibliography!
Readers Talkback
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  • July 24, 2008, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Will still see it

    by mrfan

  • July 24, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    hm.

    by frankenfickle

    not surprising.

  • July 24, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    by Unlabled

    Good lord the ending sounds awful!

  • July 24, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    Should have done more aliens

    by Unlabled

    Remember the part in the corn fields and the helicopters? That was fucking awesome... Drinking rum on the beach? No so much.

  • July 24, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    I miss deepthroat

    by Unlabled

  • July 24, 2008, 5:48 p.m. CST

    hahahahhaha

    by G100

    They don't look up and Wave ?!?!?<p> <p>You're making that up surely. Shippers only need apply then.

  • July 24, 2008, 5:51 p.m. CST

    NOT FIRST!!!

    by Jonas Grumpy

    Dammit.

  • July 24, 2008, 5:57 p.m. CST

    I cant wait to pay that 30 dollars...

    by One Nation Under Zod

    So Chris Carter can jerk off in my mouth for two hours. </br> </br> God, why the fuck did they rush out this piece of dog shit.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Of course it is bad...

    by HBO

    Did anyone expect differently?

  • July 24, 2008, 6:05 p.m. CST

    That Final Image Is FUCKING Hilarious

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    I think I swallowed a lot of air when I laughed at that. I'll be gassy tonight!

  • July 24, 2008, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Geez, that closing shot sounds head-clutchingly awful . . .

    by lavaboat

    I mean it made sense in Trading Places but c'mon . . . Maybe Carter is just bored with the entire X-Files tonal palette or something.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:05 p.m. CST

    29% on Rotten Tomatoes. Ouch!

    by G100

    Might not even bother watching this on DVD then.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:06 p.m. CST

    the real question is then....

    by blckmgk13

    ...does gillian anderson look good in a bikini.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST

    That last scene sounds AWESOME

    by Mullah Omar

    The next step is a goofy greeting card set with Mulder, Scully, and what the hell, throw Slimer from GHOSTBUSTERS in there. <br> <br> BURY THIS SHIT!

  • July 24, 2008, 6:09 p.m. CST

    I'll wait for it to come out on TBS or something

    by Iron-kong

    yup

  • July 24, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST

    X-Files had its moment of glory...time to pass the torch

    by Shub-Wankalot

  • July 24, 2008, 6:12 p.m. CST

    just saw Tron 2 trailer at comic con

    by mmaddox3

    It was pretty awesome, basically a chase and then you see bridges(jeff). It was well recived by crowd also the wolverine trailer revealed earlier kicked ass.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:21 p.m. CST

    I knew this would be really bad but

    by kafka07

    wow, Alexadra's details gave me the chills from just how bad. I hope she never reviews me as a person.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Not surprised.

    by CyG

    The last couple of seasons significantly reduced my interest in the show and the limp-dick series finale basically killed it. With the bitter taste left from that and the equally limp-dick trailers for this, why should I care about X-files 2?

  • July 24, 2008, 6:26 p.m. CST

    Actually Slimer from GHOSTBUSTERS

    by Mr_X

    waving in the final shot would have been a whole lot cooler

  • July 24, 2008, 6:28 p.m. CST

    AICN Reviews and Final Scene

    by Philselway

    This movie certainly doesn't look very good based on the commercials and trailers, but as a big X-Files fan, I'd love to see a review posted from someone more than an admitted casual fan, as the first two reviews have been. I'm not saying it will change any review drastically, but I'd love to hear the opinion of a passionate X-Files fan. You never know if subtlties are missed by casual fans. That's all I'm sayin'! As for the final scene, what could save it from being as cheesy as it sounds(no spoilers here) is if that ends up being the first shot of the NEXT film that Carter has alluded to. If it ends up being a helicopter with a familiar face delivering batshit bad news to Mulder and Scully while they try to get away from it all, that would make it better.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:34 p.m. CST

    philselway

    by frankenfickle

    you sound like me a few years ago, trying to explain to myself why jarjar wasn't such a bad addition to star wars. you know how you get better? you turn away from the poison, brother.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:34 p.m. CST

    Ack!

    by adiehardfanwithalethalweapon

    That spoiler is laugh out loud funny. Semi-shocking in it's craptasticness and just damned sad. I'm afraid this will be the last we see of the x-files . . .

  • July 24, 2008, 6:35 p.m. CST

    The new George Lucas or Wachowski brothers...

    by Mgmax

    ""I Want to Believe" also leaves me wondering if Carter truly understands the formula that made his show such a phenomenon; he seems concerned with all the wrong stuff." Yep, exactly like Lucas or the Wachowskis on the Matrix sequels....

  • July 24, 2008, 6:35 p.m. CST

    Frankenfickle

    by Philselway

    Though I never, ever remotely liked JarJar, I hear you. I really was hoping this movie would be good.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Sounds like a waste of time.

    by skydemon

    I've got the entire series on DVD, I'll just watch those, thank you.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:43 p.m. CST

    JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST

    by SwedishChef

    The final shot is Mulder and Skully waving? That may have just ruined the whole series for me. Chris Carter must have gone to the George Lucas school of directing. Dear Lord.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:45 p.m. CST

    Buy a pity ticket...

    by TheBLIGHT

    They say: enough people bought in on X-F 2... Lets make X-F 3, and show those aliens heading our way in 2012... beat them... then put this one to bed, and leave it to LOST BSG, FRINGE (Ha!)... and whatever comes next.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:47 p.m. CST

    So...the end shot...does that mean they were waving at a UFO?

    by Mike_D

    or is it really that bad that they need the characters waving at the camera? wtf?

  • July 24, 2008, 6:48 p.m. CST

    About that beard ...

    by Shan

    ... It worked quite well for Radovan Karadzic, who was on the run for 14 years. Mind you, that was a really impressive beard - no wonder no-one recognised him for so long. <p> As for hiding with Scully, maybe it was like that British canoeist who faked his own death and was living in the house next door. He used to enter the house from a secret entrance hidden behind a cupboard in the bedroom. Even his own sons thought he was dead. <p> *sigh* All of that actually happened in real life and sounds much more interesting than this film from what I've heard so far.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    This will be better than The Dark Knight

    by The Gospel According to Bastardface

    Mark my words. Mark em well.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:53 p.m. CST

    http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/200807

    by millermeusa

    Ebert liked it!!! I know he is making bad choices lately but I liked his review so Im cautiously gonna see it

  • July 24, 2008, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Generally speaking...

    by NiceGuyEddie19

    Fox is shitty, cheap entertainment.

  • July 24, 2008, 6:57 p.m. CST

    wow, this sounds terrible

    by Charlie Murphy

    and i'ma pretty big x-files supporter. i rather enjoyed seasons seven and eight, but admit to despising season nine to the point where i haven't even seen every episode. i'll probably see this this weekend, but with all the bad reviews, i'm not sure when. i'm seeing TDK again on saturday (five times), i want to maybe check out step brothers as well, so maybe i'll sneak in an x-files matinee on friday. or maybe not.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    X-Files was a great show the first few seasons..

    by conspiracy

    then it became bloated, and self important..the writing went to shit, and the egos got so big the small screen couldn't contain them. Kinda happy they all will get what they deserve outta this mess...noithing..no points, no 3rd film, nada. Yes, I'll pass on this crap...I'll just stay home, save a few bucks, and jack myself raw to 10yr old images of Gillian Anderson.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Fuck you. Fuck you all.

    by Merriman Lyon

    Fuckers.<p>Today I finally got around to seeing The Dark Knight. I’d read the reviews here on AICN: Alexandra duPont, Harry etc - everyone’s. They were ECSTATIC. This movie was the Second Coming, they said.<p>I also read the CRAZILY enthusiastic reactions from all you talkbackers. “Best movie of the year’, “Best superhero movie EVER,” “I can DIE happy now,” etc etc etc<p>Sure, I found the trailers pretty underwhelming. But who cares? Because according to YOU guys, THIS time I was about to see a darn good movie , indisputably good. No ifs, no buts. A masterpiece. Well, bring it on.<p>You fuckers. All of you. Harry, Alexandra, AICN talkbackers, all of you, you fucking jackasses.<p>It’s a load of garbage.<p>I mean, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? <p>Fuckers. How come no-one mentioned that Batman LOOKS LIKE A RETARD? His costume’s ridiculous, his headpiece is shaped like Grampa Simpson’s head, and his “voice” is STOOPID. Every time he’s on screen the whole thing turns into a farce, a piss-take of a movie. You morons. Nobody thought to mention this? In a BATMAN movie? You pricks.<p>Fuckers. How come no-one mentioned that the fight scenes, the chase scenes, in fact all the 'action' scenes are DULL AS LARD? You fucking retards. You children.<p>Fuckers. People were saying Heath Ledger was a revelation as the Joker. ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND AS WELL AS DEAF?<p>HEY! WAKE UP, HALF-WITS! Ledger is an actor. He wears the make-up. He says his lines. He follows the director’s instructions. Have you ass-wipes never seen a MOVIE before? It’s called acting. Doing the job you were hired to do. Anyone who thinks that Heath Ledger does something amazingly new with the character needs to stop sniffing the glue and buy an actual Batman comic. Check out the character called THE JOKER.The Joker wears make-up. He kills people indiscriminately. He creates chaos and laughs about it. THAT’S THE FUCKING CHARACTER. He’s written that way. Always has been. You half-wits. You kiddie-fiddlers. Piss off.<p>Fuckers. Did NO-ONE think to mention that the movie was AN HOUR longer than it needed to be? After the first 90 minutes, the movie was done. Finished. Out of steam. Time to get out of your seat and go home. And yet it KEPT GOING FOR ANOTHER HOUR. And no-one thought to mention this?<p>You are scum. Shit bags. You must all be working for the studio – or close friends of the film-makers. It's the only explanation.<p>Did NO ONE notice that the last half-hour of the movie was a fucked-up, nonsensical, CGI piece of HORSESHIT that descended into a scene from SUPERHERO MOVIE? Ring a bell, morons? You fucking imbeciles. You junkies.<p>A waste of two-and-a-half hours. That’s time I’ll never get back. And as fucking stupid as you people are – I’m a fucking fool to have believed you. <p>Fuckers. I hope you all die from the crack you're smoking.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST

    ugh

    by Charlie Murphy

    tell us how you really feel... actually don't. no one cares.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Heh. This looks dreadful.

    by ckane123

    The reason why they have kept the plot "a big secret?" Not because they wanted to really surprise us but because it SUCKS. Chris Carter did what I probably would have done in this situation - cashed in. Ironically, if they have spent only 30 mil. on this, even if they spent twice that on publicity, even a bomb in the US market it could still make money internationally and have good first week sales on DVD, just cause of the curiosity factor. Sigh.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:12 p.m. CST

    Last Shot

    by arby64

    I didn't see it but are you sure they were waving and not shielding their eyes from the light of an alien abduction?

  • July 24, 2008, 7:13 p.m. CST

    RUH ROH!!!!

    by lopan

    Well, approximately NONE of the trailers, stills or interviews given by the crew so far have even been mildly interesting, so why am I surprised at this? Having said that... I still believe in Ebert, and I read his 3.5-star review, and now I'm REALLY fucking conflicted on whether to waste my time here. I'm a pretty die hard X-Phile too. Do I listen to Ebert or this chick?

  • July 24, 2008, 7:19 p.m. CST

    They... wave?

    by DoubleFantasy

    And merriman... jeez, go get laid or something. Jesus...

  • July 24, 2008, 7:22 p.m. CST

    Merriman Lyon, fuck you right back.

    by TheLastCleric

    What an asswipe you must be in everything you do and how lonely and pathetic and worthless you must feel to need attention this much. You didn’t like Dark Knight? Who cares, asshole? Go sniff Devin’s bloated, raw ass over at Chud if you need some reinforcement for your pathetic opinions. Even assuming of course you’ve actually seen the film, which I question considering you claim something about it being CGI horseshit. There was minimal CG used in that film, as per Nolan’s directive. By the way, it’s cute hearing you talk tough, big guy. Let me ask you something, little fella: when the customers at Starbucks treat you badly, even though you’re wearing a shiny assistant manager badge, do you talk tough under your breath or wait for them to leave? You’re so scary and we’re sooooooo impressed, now do the world a favor and make a nice cyanide martini and drink deeply.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:26 p.m. CST

    DoubleFantasy, M. Lyon couldn't score with his right hand.

    by TheLastCleric

    He should look into farm animals or perhaps ugly family members, which in his case may be the same thing.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Come on, guys.

    by mr_macphisto

    Merriman Lyon's obviously joking, or doing some weird performance art thing. I mean, nobody could actually be THAT retarded, could they?...could they?

  • July 24, 2008, 7:39 p.m. CST

    Scully in a bikini? I'm there.

    by Bob of the Shire

    Sounds awful, but I'll see it anyway. What's wrong with me?

  • July 24, 2008, 7:43 p.m. CST

    It's my fucking opinion.

    by Merriman Lyon

    I'm telling it like it is and calling it like it is.<p. So fuck the lot of you. Time to take your pills, put on your diapers and go to bed, folks. You got a long day ahead of you tomorrow, with Art therapy and sing-a-long class. Don't forget, there'll be another showing of The Dark Knight tomorrow afternoon. And the day after that. And the day after that. And every day for the rest of your pathetic lives.<p>Because that's the sort of garbage you retards just lap up. And it keeps you off the streets so decent folks can go about their business without having to put up with your horseshit.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Although, I gotta say...

    by mr_macphisto

    ...you don't see many people bringing out the ol' "half-wit" insult anymore. Extra points, Merriman, for being extra lame.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:51 p.m. CST

    Don't like my opinion? Fuck you. Your movie stinks.

    by Merriman Lyon

    So time to put on your diapers, take your pills and get tied down to your beds. Got a big day ahead of you tomorrow: Art therapy, sing-a-long and remedial classes. And don't forget the special screening of The Dark Knight in the afternoon. And another screening the day after that. And the day after that. And every day for the rest of your worthless lives. Because that's the kind of garbage you retards just lap up. At least it keeps you off the streets so decent folks can go about their lives without having to put up with your drool and horseshit.

  • July 24, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST

    Perhaps Merriman worked on the X-Files Movie ?

    by G100

    Otherwise... what the fuck are you doing whining on an X-Files review thread ?????<p> <p>Seriously if you can't read why should we take your opinions seriously ?<p> <p>How fucking hard is it to spot the many Dark Knight reviews on the site ? Take your whining there chump.<p> <p>Jesus! Do you actually want a cookie for having a contrarian opinion or a pat on the back ?<p> <p>Whatever, there WAS still enough left in the X-Files for a nice "farewell" film especially for the two characters. They just needed someone who can actually write a good script instead of the a Movie that ends with them WAVING TO THE CAMERA !<p> <p>UNBELIEVABLE. But yeah, pretty damn funny in a tragic sort of way.

  • July 24, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    Just came back from that piece of shit movie...

    by Merriman Lyon

    ...that YOU recommended. So yeah, I'm taking it out on YOU. And I don't care whose talkback it is, geddit?<p>Of course not. You've just had a toilet accident. Well, clean it up yourself.

  • July 24, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    Did...did this movie...hurt...you?

    by mr_macphisto

    Or something? I have never in my life seen this level of vitriol for anything, ever! You terrify me, Merriman. I hope I AM in a Dark Knight showing while you're on the street, cuz I'd HATE to run into you! Your just like the fucking Joker! Only, you know...a jackass. And please, for the love of god, call benditlikelucas in the morning. Have some compassion.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:02 p.m. CST

    mr_macphisto, have you seen the movie?

    by Merriman Lyon

    If so, are you one of those morons who said it was a good movie?<p>If so, I fucking DARE you to give me your home address.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:03 p.m. CST

    Jesus christ, man....

    by NiceGuyEddie19

    Lyon, you're fucktard enough to believe the reviewers and talkbackers before forming your own opinion, you deserve to get 2.5 hours "wasted". And grow the fuck up. Ledger was amazing.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:04 p.m. CST

    Why?

    by mr_macphisto

    So you can mail me another one of your anti-Dark Knight diatribes? I DO like getting mail!

  • July 24, 2008, 8:10 p.m. CST

    shut up Lyon!!

    by the milf lover

    Yes, you have the right to your opinion. You didnt like Dark Knight, fine. But post it in the fucking Dark Knight thread you stupid goddamn bastard! Unless you're scared of all the people who actually enjoyed the movie? Not enough balls to go tell them their Dark Knight wasnt good enough for you?

  • July 24, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    Niceguy, ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK RIGHT NOW.

    by Merriman Lyon

    Because if you are, I fucking insist that you declare it before I waste any time reading your coke-head babble.<p>Heath Ledger was amazing??????<p>So I was led to believe by idiots like yourself. And then as I watched the movie, I kept waiting for Heath Ledger's amazingness to appear. And waited. And waitied.<p>It never came. Instead, I saw a professional actor reading his lines and hitting his marks.<p>Wow, that was AMAZING!<p>What's next? Fishermen casting their nets?<p>Truck drivers driving their trucks?<p><p>Cops eating donuts?It's called: DOING A JOB.<p>Do yourself a favour: Go to school, grow up and get a job. Then YOU can be AMAZING too.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST

    merriman lyon

    by lopan

    IS NAMED AFTER A FUCKING CHARACTER FROM THE DARK IS RISING, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Opinion instantly rendered null and void. Get cancer.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:13 p.m. CST

    arby64 ...

    by Alexandra.DuPont

    They were in fact waving, not being abducted. (Saving an alien abduction for halfway through the bouncy/upbeat end credits would have been an even stranger choice.) <p> If memory serves, the shot goes like this: <p> The camera is flying over the water. (Imagine the helicopter shot that opens any movie set in a city along the water.) <p> We see the rowboat in the distance. <p> The camera swoops over the rowboat and looks down from overhead, so you see it's Mulder and Scully in swimwear. <p> The camera then starts pulling away, up into the sky. They wave at the camera as it pulls away and they're getting smaller. <p> The waving won't be as noticeable on home video, but it was jaw-dropping on the big screen. It was like Carter was telling you, "Bye! I'm going surfing!"

  • July 24, 2008, 8:15 p.m. CST

    Go away, Alexandra

    by Merriman Lyon

    I saw Dark Knight, partly based on your idiotic review. Now I must go and take my anger out on some one. Good bye and I hope you all die.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha!!!

    by G100

    That's SUPERB!<p> <p>This could be the most laughable ending to a Movie yet! Genius!<p> <p>I can't think of anything more hilariously bad offhand, perhaps other talkbackers know of an even better one ?

  • July 24, 2008, 8:18 p.m. CST

    Okay, that guy is CLEARLY fucking with us...

    by mr_macphisto

    ...cuz if he's not, and he's serious...than may god help that poor, crazy bastards parents when he heads downstairs for some Zoodles. Shit's gonna go OFF.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:21 p.m. CST

    And Dupont...

    by mr_macphisto

    ...I don't doubt you for a second, and I don't want to offend you. But until I actually SEE IT, I will NOT let myself believe that that is the actual fucking ending of the film. Nobody and I mean fucking NOBODY could possibly that inept as to include such a ridiculous ending. Fucking...NOBODY. Please?

  • July 24, 2008, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Carter must be waving goodbye to his film career

    by G100

    They could have had a little grey alien is scuba gear popping up from behind the boat and waving too before swimming frantically after Scully and Mulder.<p> <p>That would have been Orsum!

  • July 24, 2008, 8:28 p.m. CST

    mr_macphisto...

    by Alexandra.DuPont

    Just to be clear, the last shot before the end credits begin takes place in a hospital. You have to stick around while the end credits play, for a while, to see this sunny-rowboat shot. <p> Unless the studio reads this review and somehow decides to spend the extra money to go all "2001" Kubrick on this and have every negative trimmed of the rowboat sequence overnight, you're going to see it.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:30 p.m. CST

    So it's like a little "extra thrill" for the fans?

    by mr_macphisto

    For some reason, that almost makes me hate it more.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:31 p.m. CST

    Thanks for the heads up though, DuPont.

    by mr_macphisto

    Just so you know, though...you've RUINED MY WHOLE DAY. ;)

  • July 24, 2008, 8:31 p.m. CST

    Oh, and if DuPont really is a dude...

    by mr_macphisto

    ...than that "wink" was purely platonic.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:33 p.m. CST

    Will they show bloopers during the credits...

    by mrfan

    Just like Cannonball Run?

  • July 24, 2008, 8:33 p.m. CST

    Not that this is the end-all, be-all but...

    by Kirbymanly

    Ebert loved it. Outside of him it seems this is turning out to be a love it or hate it film. I'll find out in a couple of hours!

  • July 24, 2008, 8:36 p.m. CST

    Hey Merriman Lyon

    by severianx1

    Why are you "telling it like it is and calling it like it is" about the Batman movie in the X Files movie thread? Could it be because you're a fucking moron?

  • July 24, 2008, 8:36 p.m. CST

    This does not bode well...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...damn. I'd like to not think the X-FILES franchise would bow out on a bum note. We shall see.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:39 p.m. CST

    I agree with one of the above posters...

    by mr_macphisto

    ...I almost WANT to shell out money for this, just so we can get a proper third film.

  • July 24, 2008, 8:47 p.m. CST

    Ebert, huh?

    by BizarroJerry

    I really like Roger Ebert. Though lately he's uneven and scares me... "The Dark Knight," he gave 4 stars. OK. "Indy 4," he gave 3 and a half. I dunno Roger...

  • July 24, 2008, 8:57 p.m. CST

    Alexandra DuPont

    by amadeus781

    I don't particularly care about this film, I'm just glad to see Alexandra have two reviews in less than a week. Glad to be reading your work again. BTW, I miss dvdjournal.com!

  • July 24, 2008, 8:58 p.m. CST

    Yo Merriman Lyon...

    by asmith96

    Just curious where your taste in movies sit...could you share a few flicks you thought WERE good in the last couple of years?

  • July 24, 2008, 9 p.m. CST

    And Merriman...

    by BizarroJerry

    If I read a Batman comic book wouldn't I learn that the Joker had actual clown-makeup looking skin due to some accident? And was not in fact a dude wearing makeup?<p>But, honestly, lighten up, brother. It was just a two hour movie. You've never "wasted" time watching a movie you didn't like? Calm yourself. Really. R-E-L-A-X.

  • July 24, 2008, 9:11 p.m. CST

    Chris Carter is a moron

    by hank henshaw

    As a die-hard X-phile, I wish he is never allowed to work in movies or television again. This man completely lost his mind after getting all those emmy nods for the black and white episode (Post-Modern Prometheus).

  • July 24, 2008, 9:17 p.m. CST

    Trust No One

    by Lauryn2000

    HAHAHA....as an X-Philer that endured nine long seasons of a show that was good 5 1/2 out of 9. If this is true...X-philers just go to movies thinking your watching season 8 and season 9...you won't have high expectations and you might leave moderately surprised. I'm a noromo (no romance) and will probably just puke with all that kissy face Scully and Mulder will be doing.They might as well just let us see them romping around in the bed,at least one group of X-philers would leave the theater happy. Skinner only in for 10 minutes,hell I think that adds up to his face time in Fight The Future....subtract a minute or two. I'm seeing going to go see it in the morning...might as well get the pain over with.And try to see Batman in Imax on Saturday....

  • July 24, 2008, 9:23 p.m. CST

    amadeus781 ....

    by Alexandra.DuPont

    ... I miss The DVD Journal, too. Beaks, Mark Bourne, Dawn Taylor, Greg Dorr, D.K. Holm, Kim Morgan, Damon Houx and the rest -- good Christ, that was one hell of a writing staff. <p> I know Bourne is gathering some of the DVDJ talent back together at Film.com, if you're curious....

  • July 24, 2008, 9:25 p.m. CST

    PMP was a decent episode

    by hank henshaw

    I don't like it much tho. It was Carter's first attempt at doing a quirky episode and hopefully win some emmys, and emulate what Darin Morgan did. Problem is Carter was not as talented as Darin Morgan, and his comedic episodes I find painful to watch (anyone remembers that one with Burt Reynolds? or the one with Kathy Griffin? Ouch) C. Carter should've focused on doing scary episodes and the conspiracy arc episodes, he was better at that... but then also dropped the ball on those.

  • July 24, 2008, 9:28 p.m. CST

    Jodie Foster

    by Lauryn2000

    The episode with the tatoo(voice Jodie Foster)now that was a classic episode.I think it was done by Stephen King or was the one with the doll????

  • July 24, 2008, 9:33 p.m. CST

    Never Again

    by hank henshaw

    Is the episode with the hallucinogenic tattoo, not written by King. Stephen King wrote the one with the killing doll, but had severe re-writes by C. Carter.

  • July 24, 2008, 9:35 p.m. CST

    Stephen King's episode was ...

    by Shan

    ... the doll. Which didn't really stand out as being distinctly Stephen King (IMO) - as opposed to William Gibson's "Kill Switch", now if you had to guess, you should easily pick which one was most likely written by Gibson.

  • July 24, 2008, 9:39 p.m. CST

    An Interesting Revelation

    by Philselway

    ADP-- I think what we may have here is a knee-jerk reaction followed by mass knee-jerks reactions. In your original review, you say this: "The camera pauses over them, looking down -- and they look up and wave." That's A LOT different than this: "The camera then starts pulling away, up into the sky. They wave at the camera as it pulls away and they're getting smaller. The waving won't be as noticeable on home video, but it was jaw-dropping on the big screen." The way it was originally written, you had me, and I assume many others, thinking the final shot,during the credits, was a 2-shot of Mulder and Scully smiling and waving right at the camera. As it's described more specifically in these Talkbacks, it sounds more like we have a wide, rising shot that while moving away, the now small sized DD and GA(that won't be seen on anything other than the Big Screen) start to wave. That sounds innocent enough to me, and it has nothing to do with the X-Files franchise or fanbase.

  • July 24, 2008, 9:49 p.m. CST

    Remember that weird story about the Russian campers?

    by rev_skarekroe

    The one where they got killed in their tents or went insane and no one could explain it? And all these skeptics were like "Bah, it's clearly viral marketing for the X-Files movie."<p> Those guys were wrong, right?

  • July 24, 2008, 10:10 p.m. CST

    X

    by Lauryn2000

    Is "X" making a cameo...dammit???? They wave at the camera's..no biggie,there have been several episodes that were tongue in cheek. *wink-wink*

  • July 24, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Nope Philselway. That's what I thought and it's TOECURLING

    by G100

    Her description didn't mention any close up. So why assume one ? I certainly didn't.<p> <p>She spoke of a cliched helicam flyover in which they can both be seen WAVING TO THE CAMERA.<p> <p>Keep trying though. If you BELIEVE hard enough you may yet find some ludicrous semantic way to justify this hilarious piece of low rent cheeseball idiocy, but I doubt it myself.

  • July 24, 2008, 10:16 p.m. CST

    I thought Doggett was alright

    by hank henshaw

    Unfortunately, Robert Patrick was on the thankless job of filling in for Mulder, and a big part of the fanbase was having none of that. I liked how Robert Patrick seemed to did all he could to make it work, as opposed to Duchovny who looked bored during the 7th season.

  • July 24, 2008, 10:18 p.m. CST

    Don Davis tribute - Beyond the Sea

    by Fred

    This ain't fucking rocket science people.

  • July 24, 2008, 10:22 p.m. CST

    Philselway...

    by Alexandra.DuPont

    I hear you, but however they chose to emphasize the waving doesn't change that the waving happened, or that the whole sunny-rowboat mid-credits stinger looks like the opening of a Cialis commercial. I have expected there to be another shot post-credits where Mulder and Scully were watching the sunset in matching bathtubs.

  • July 24, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    Correction...

    by Alexandra.DuPont

    ... HALF expected.

  • July 24, 2008, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Someone's gonna have to think up a catchphrase...

    by Biggie Kaiju

    ...involving the "wave" moment. The movie sounds like ass. So does Merriman; that mental institution post was hilarious, but you're way off base about "Dark Knight." It's hard not to feel like a Kool-Aid drinker with EVERYONE on the bandwagon, but the movie was pretty fucking excellent and deserves its success and accolades. Back to the subject, werewolves would have been a better phenomenon for a movie than psychic pedophiles and organ harvesters.

  • July 24, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST

    X Files 2: I Want To Phone It In

    by Dr Gregory House

    Wow. I must say, I am very disappointed. People have differing opinions about when the show jumped the shark, but I did enjoy some of the stand alone episodes in seasons 8 and 9. Never cared much of Doggett and Reyes but its not their fault. Movie sounds like a big let down, which is a shame, cuz a 2012 X-Files movie with a great script and with acting and direction thats not phoned in, could be some good stuff.

  • July 24, 2008, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Merryman Lyon

    by PantherMatt

    Buddy, cut it out with the cutesy-poo, dime-store David Mamet. You child. You company man. Who told you could review with Men? You didn't like Dark Knight? Ok. no worries. But, you find me one acting performance in the history of scripted film that isn't "someone taking direction and saying lines" or whatever drunken prepubescent idiocy you spewed. Find me ONE performance, ONE, that doesn't meet that criertia. It's what an actor/ actress does with sad direction and lines that make the performance great (or bad). At least TRY to know what you're talking about next time. As for X-Files2: Bummer. I trust DuPont's reviews and I was a big X-Phile, too. I'll still go see it, though, as I'm a complete-ist.

  • July 24, 2008, 10:56 p.m. CST

    damn, I want an "Edit" feature

    by PantherMatt

    I meant "Said direction", not "Sad direction"...

  • July 24, 2008, 10:59 p.m. CST

    The end credits shot

    by Dr Gregory House

    Are you sure its Mulder and Scully on a boat in swimwear waving, or is it a big, fat cock? Maybe Tyler Durden was working the projector.

  • July 24, 2008, 11:17 p.m. CST

    So...

    by REDD

    "I Want To Believe" is the tagline? Yes? Yes?

  • July 25, 2008, 12:58 a.m. CST

    Hello I just wanted to back up the reviewer's story.

    by Gilkuliehe

    The mid-credits scene she describes was in the screening I saw. And yes, all X-files fans in the room clapped and cheered. I guess that's how you say WHAT IN THE FUCKING FUCK in xfilese. I just said it in regular language and looked at my friend in awe. That's seriously a Darth Vader Noooo moment in my opinion.

  • July 25, 2008, 1:28 a.m. CST

    (Just got back.) Who was this film made for?

    by Shermdawg

    It certainly wasn't the fans, and at this point, that's the only people you could hope to bring in.

  • July 25, 2008, 1:37 a.m. CST

    Saw it yesterday

    by otto maddox

    Plays like a minor episode but not as bad as some are making out - expectations too high methinks

  • July 25, 2008, 2:05 a.m. CST

    Stamp collection line

    by Curtis Spicoli

    That was a good one.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:09 a.m. CST

    Merriman Lyon...

    by Finding Forrestal

    ...is a cinematic moron of the highest order. You have no taste, sir. No taste at all.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:22 a.m. CST

    oh well it seems the rumour are true..

    by earlfist

    here in the uk we don't get this flick until next week. I've seen every bloody episode so i will have to see this but maybe i will wait until it comes to dvd. Shame but i knew chris carter would fuck this up.vince gilligan could of farted a better script i bet. Of course those who wrote the bad reviews could all be morons.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:22 a.m. CST

    This movie really was lousy.

    by Curtis Spicoli

    And disappointing. Hardcore fans are really gonna feel let down. Go see Dark Knight again instead.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:30 a.m. CST

    So I just got back from a midnight show...

    by maxwell's hammer

    ...and I don't know if its because I read so many bad reviews before seeing it, but I really liked it. I was a fan of the show, back in the day, and admit that it went pretty much off the rails after the first movie, and even if it was horrible, there was not way I WOULDN'T go see this.<BR> <BR> But imagine my surprise when I found myself enjoying it quite a bit. Sure, it had some of the same hiccups that formed the weaker moments from the series: the ambiguous, talking-in-circles dialogue; the bland FBI agents; the weird pseudo-relationship between Mulder and Scully...<BR> <BR> But everything else was pretty good. For starters, this wasn't a movie about a monster of the week. This was totally character driven. Fox wanting to believe, Dana not quite being able to bring herself to believe (the fact that she spent 9-years seeing this stuff and still can't buy into it is another of those little hiccups I'm willing to overlook).<BR> <BR> And as a character study, Carter was spot on with the script. I don't think the hospital plot was padding at all: it was necessary to show that Scully has her own obsessions. She reprimands Mulder for substituting the missing FBI agent for his sister. He replies basically by saying "I know I'm a head-case, but its who I am, and it's all I know how to do. I know my sister is gone, but that doesn't mean I have to searching for her, or it, or whatever."<BR> <BR> Scully's ordeal with the kid in the hospital is her fixation. Going out on a limb, not because its the right thing to do, but because saving this boy is what she does, regardless of whether her actions will make any difference.<BR> <BR> Anyway, I'm sure my opinion will be yelled down by all the more 'enlightened' (i.e. shrill and hateful) talkbackers, but I think this was a good movie, and I feel kind of sad that ripping on the new X-Files movie is going to become the trendy new thing to earn your talkback street cred.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:32 a.m. CST

    and p.s...

    by maxwell's hammer

    I'm kind of glad I didn't stay in the theater long enough to catch the stinger, although knowing what I do of Duchovny and Anderson, I'm sure that last shot was intentionally tongue-in-cheek, and most XF fans will be able to take it as such.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:46 a.m. CST

    If I had listened to this asswipe........

    by supermanslostwife

    I would have missed a great movie. I just got back from seeing it and I was more than happy. Every review I read today before I went pretty much bitched that it was basically a "long tv episode". Well, I am happy C.C. didn't give in to temptation to make everything bigger or cgi the shit out of it. So I guess the point is this....they always mess up when they take a tv show and try to change the formula of what works just to put it on the big screen. TRUE fans will get it, dipshit posers will not! Chris Carter did the right thing with this movie. I applaud him for staying true to his vision. And on a more personal note for the asshat who wrote this shiteous review, Fuck You All!!!!

  • July 25, 2008, 2:47 a.m. CST

    I liked the new X-Files movie.

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

    I'd say it's PLOT driven more than character driven. And it's one of those weird PLOTS that could only be in the X-Files. <p><p>Weird and uncomfortable, that's what I've always liked about the X-Files. This won't be a hit, but it's a good creepy movie, not scary, just creepy.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:49 a.m. CST

    "9-years seeing this stuff & still can't buy into it"

    by Shermdawg

    That was more than just a "little hiccup" max.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:51 a.m. CST

    sherm...

    by maxwell's hammer

    ...yeah, it really is.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:52 a.m. CST

    Sounds like you want this film to fail!!

    by echobase

    you seem to be a little bit too knowing in your review... (Chris Carter wrote it quickly before the strike? really? Who told you that? Surely he must have had it in his mind for quite a few years, since he did nothing for a while) I wonder if you are somebody who is actuall ypretty close to the production and you want this film to fail...

  • July 25, 2008, 3:51 a.m. CST

    LET ME GUESS...THEY HOOK UP.

    by Redfive!

    No I have NOT seen or heard anything about this but im guessing they hook up at the end.

  • July 25, 2008, 3:55 a.m. CST

    max, no it really isn't.

    by Shermdawg

    Having her act like that, is a slap in the face to everyone that watched the show. With as much as she's seen, with as much as she's personally experienced, and the film basically ignoring it all and treating it simply as time spent with the FBI, is ridiculous. There's a thing called character development. This was character retardation. <br><br> It's like if you see a candle, you see the heat from the flame melting the wax, you feel the heat it gives off, you hold a piece of paper over it and watch it blacken, you even go so far as to stick your damn finger in and you suffer a burn, after all of that, does it make sense to question fire afterwards? <br><br> No. <br><br> Scully struggling with her faith and beliefs were focused on enough in the series, and waiting this long for the gang to get back together only to retread material that didn't need to be, and making that the focus of the film, doesn't make much sense. <br><br> Both her and Mulder should be past skepticism at this point, as well as small time cases like this.

  • July 25, 2008, 3:58 a.m. CST

    Merriman Lyon: frustrated screenwriter...

    by igotsnotupmy nose

    ... with an equally frustrated screenwriter/boyfriend waiting at home for him in San Francisco... Pops up on many forums with stoopid names, like Smitty... Please disregard anything he says- he knows he can't produce one line, let alone a complete script like DK...

  • July 25, 2008, 4:41 a.m. CST

    I want to believe!

    by Iowa Snot Client

    That Gillian Anderson is waiting for me to come back to bed. Yum.

  • July 25, 2008, 5:06 a.m. CST

    CHRIS CARTER RAPES MY ADOLESCENCE!

    by spud mcspud

    Has he been hanging out with George Lucas? By the sounds of it, this will suck big Sasquatch balls. But then, just like every fucking rerelease of the Holy Trilogy (there are no Prequels. Fucking HERETICS!) I will end up watching it, if only for Billy Connolly. My metaphorical ass can't take much more of this pounding. Hollywood is full of c~*ts. Seriously.

  • July 25, 2008, 5:14 a.m. CST

    Excellent 2 hour episode

    by joee60

    Nothing new or original. No 'Casino Royale' jump-start or 'Batman Begins' make over. But a very good movie. Next time they might want to get a bit more creative and inventive, but this was a fine show.

  • July 25, 2008, 5:53 a.m. CST

    The X-Files: Fun With Stem Cell Research, Tards And Pedos

    by lord_zedd

    I think a good description of this movie would be: semi-disappointing. Why? Mostly because it was choc full of uncharacteristic light-hearted moments that we never ever would've seen on the show, even in season 7. (The Bush joke, the snuggle scene, the penis joke in the snuggle scene, the chi-mo humor, etc.) And I think we all could have lived without the highly topical storyline that dealt with stem cell research; it seemed like Chris just wanted to make a statement about it, and it came across really heavy-handed. They tried to dumb down the science talk for this one and it really shows. What I really was curious about was the way they would handle Mulder and Scully's life post-exile, and I was a little let down by that too. Would they really allow Scully to live and work in the US after what they had been through? Would Mulder really deem it safe to remain on the continent, especially when being wanted by the FBI? Would the FBI and its conspiracies full of super soldier replacements really allow him to do so? Wouldn't they be keeping any residence of Dana Scully under constant surveillance? Wouldn't said super soldiers try to bust in? The only time I was really into the movie was when Skinner was present. He brought a breath of fresh, familiar air to a movie featuring beloved icons who acted extremely unfamiliar. Speaking of that, I too think that Scully was the one who perhaps acted the most out of character in the movie. Mulder had his moments, but really, in the end, it was mostly her that wasn't fitting the standard that had been set by 9 years of character development. Before I went to see this tonight, I re-watched "The Truth" with a friend. At the end of that episode she mentions that one of the things that "drew" her to Mulder was that he never gave up. In this movie, she leaves him for that exact reason, but then gets back with him and tells him that same fact again at the end. We already knew that, Scully. Why are you having second thoughts? Couldn't you have done that off screen somewhere? You could really tell that Gillian found it hard to step back into the role, especially in the scenes where they first meet the Priest at his apartment. Her mannerisms were so un-Scully that it was uncomfortable. In her defense, she honestly didn't have that much to work with (thanks Chris!). The suspense of the suspenseful scenes were also not up to par with any of the scary episodes of the series. There were more frightening moments in season 9 then there were here. Yes, it was gross. Sure, a little disturbing. But nothing like the Flukeman, the Mothman, or even the evil African man from "Teliko". The whole time I watched this I couldn't help but think back ten years ago to a very remote time when I sat in a theater and sat in awe of the larger than life silver screen candy that was Fight the Future. I couldn't help but compare the two in my head the entire duration. Fight the Future was a very grand representation of the series, complete with glossy finish and thrills. I Want To Believe is the exact opposite of that. Its cinematography is weaker than any season's, excluding the first two. I wonder if we'll get a third movie. I can tell from the hokey scene after the credits detailing their cliched tropical escape that they were hoping to bring some sense of closure to the storyline. I just hope that if they do make another one, it stays closer in tone with the series, and stop taking those "Moonlighting with UFOs" comments people make about the franchise to heart. P.S. Was it just me, or did it seem like they tried to put emphasis on the FBI aide played by the actress who was Lucy Butler in Millennium? I kept expecting her character to reappear in some larger plot-related capacity, but alas.

  • July 25, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    It certainly looks like they full-on make out in the flick

    by ciroslive

    Which is why I'm going to PASS on this one and go watch season four...

  • July 25, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Does he slip her the bone or what?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Does Duchovney finally ram the bone home on his partner, and this series?

  • July 25, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Thanks for saving me some money, alexandra

    by whofan71

    I think I'll just go see Dark Knight again. Hey merriman lyon, wanna go?

  • July 25, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    Well thank effin' god...

    by Kid Z

    ...that hack Carter finally managed to put the last nail in the coffin of this franchise. About time!

  • July 25, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    !!!ZONKER!!!!

    by Rick Flemming

    I reviewed this movie FIRST, (beat ya, you old bastards!) and I pronounced it to be liquid jalapeno shits... flemmingonfilms.blogspot.com

  • July 25, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    ugh...

    by the_dark_rick

    How very disappointing. I am by no means a X-Files die hard, but I did enjoy many of the series episodes, both stand-alone and mythologogy-based. The first movie wasn't bad, and I was hoping this would be a kind of bridge between movies about the alien plans and eventual invasion, good enough to stand on its own for existing fans and introduce people to these once iconic characters. I guess we'll never get that movie dealing with the future events of 2012 now, though, as this will likely bomb huge. Rest in peace, Spooky and Scully...

  • July 25, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    There's some Bush Bashing in there, too

    by rainbowtrout1265

    For anyone who will see anything that bashes Bush, they show his pic and play the "spooky" X-Files music...

  • July 25, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Alexandra DuPont

    by Right Bastard

    For your wonderful and candid reviews. I still send people to your "prequel" review, this many years later. Also, thank you for saving me $30 that I will now spend on that new Hunter S. Thompson documentary instead of on the "X-Files".

  • July 25, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    X-FILES: IWTB isn't bad, it's just a solid 2-hour TV episode

    by SpyGuy

    I caught a 9 p.m. advance screening last night and to be perfectly honest, it's a pretty decent X-FILES movie. What critics are having a hard time with is that Carter made a 2-hour TV reunion movie instead of a big budget popcorn film. Yeah, it would have been cool to finally see the actual invasion (maybe we'll get that film on December 22, 2012) but IWTB is for old-school X-Philes that enjoyed the simpler spooky mystery stories. <p>Because this was shot in Vancouver, it looks like a Seasons 4-6 episode and feels like a Seasons 4-6 episode. Oh, and all that hoopla about Mulder and Scully waving? It's a fucking Easter Egg for fans, not part of the story so stop getting your panties in a bunch already.</p>

  • July 25, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Opinion from a big fan to others (Or: See the movie, you'll like

    by MechaTruffautMk2

    I've been a big fan of this show for a long time, which most of these reviewers cannot claim to, so maybe someone with a similar interest in the franchise will be helped out by my comments. If you love The X-Files, you'll dig this movie, a little at the very least. For non-fans I think it'll work well as a semi-atmospheric thriler that brings back the tension and creepiness of the original series to a pretty decent degree, and because it features a supernaturally-tinged story free from gun battles, CGI effects or explosions, which inspires honest curiosity as to where the plot is going and how certain issues will be explained. All three of which are fairly rare elements, maybe even non-existant, when it comes to contemporary summer "blockbusters." So I don't really think non-fans or casual fans are really going to be out of the loop here. For the fans, you're going to see Mulder and Scully come to some terms with their relationship, with their FBI past (seeing the two of them return to FBI HQ after so long is going to have a spark for fans that most of the audience won't care about, probably), Skinner, yes, showing up near the end (DuPont didn't like it, but this fan's reaction was a genuine smile...it wasn't exactly cheesy either - Scully needed FBI help to get Mulder out of a possibly sticky situation and had to call in a big favor...see it for yourself and judge), and Mulder getting back into his full-on investigative mode in a way that brought back a lot of memories. This is a guy that would believe anyone from dopeheaded kids looking for Area 51 to three social outcasts sending out a conspiracy theory fanzine. Of course he's going to believe Father Joe, and you see how that scrap of paranormal possibility propels him right back into the frenzy to summon the Mulder we all know and love. Scully unfortunately has a pretty out of character moment in her first scene with the priest, as lord_zedd pointed out, but I guess we'll have to go with the been-away-too-long explanation. Cheap, I know, but it wasn't that big of a deal for me. It's over fast I also think the lack of FBI pressure on Mulder and Scully, and the "forgiveness" deal was shoddy, yeah, but it just shows how bullshit everything they had on them was, and how easily they could have swept it under the table whenever they wanted. Mulder still hanging out in this contry shows, I feel, that he didn't think they would ever truly try something on him...and besides, he was always a martyr. You know he'd secretly love to be frogmarched into FBI custody, it'd fuel his beloved paranoia for the rest of his life. Look, see the movie...if you hate it, that's cool, but from one fan to another(...s), there's really quite a lot here to enjoy, to get excited about, and to bring back some of that old feeling. I think non-fans should test it out too and will enjoy it for the reasons noted at the beginning of this post, but, yeah, I'm biased. lord_zedd is obviously a fan too and was disappointed, so maybe I'm just glad to see these characters again and I'm blinded by that, who knows. At least you have two different fan opinions. As for the closing wave sequence...I think way too much has been made of this. It's a little laugh and wink for fans and people who love those characters. I don't think it's indicative of any concrete ending for those characters...as any fan would know, the series had little in-jokes ALL the time. It's an easter egg: mid-credits, mind you. It's not the true final shot of the film. It obviously contrasts sharply with the entire movie that came before, and DuPont took it a bit too seriously.

  • July 25, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Merryman Lyon

    by clockpolitiks

    I was seriously going to take in your opinion and make some compelling comments towards you, but then you say that you actually watched superhero movie seemingly on your own free will. Your opinion, to me, became invalid after that statement.

  • July 25, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    the trailer put me to sleep

    by BMacSmith

    snoore

  • July 25, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    it was so shit, please don't bother

    by couP

    saw it on thursday, complete rubbish. worse than any single ep of the x-files ever shown. gay russians, i mean, seriously?

  • July 25, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    My ex has asked me ...

    by DennisMM

    to see the movie with her. We're friendly even after killing a 10-year relationship, and we met on an "X-Files" discussion mailing list. I'm not at all sure now that I want to go ahead with this.

  • July 25, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    echobase ...

    by Alexandra.DuPont

    ... I learned all that top-secret sneaky inside information by reading the L.A. Times ( http://tinyurl.com/6atlrd ) and the New York Times ( http://tinyurl.com/54paoe ).

  • July 25, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Don't worry, clockpolitiks...

    by Merriman Lyon

    I haven't seen Superhero Movie - but I've seen the trailer, which I'm sure you'll agree is enough to understand what it's about.<P>Have calmed down somewhat since seeing that atrocious turkey, The Dark Knight. I still can't understand the positive reviews. Are there two different edits out there? I must have seen the crap one.

  • July 25, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Kingdom Of The Crystal Skullfuck...

    by Merriman Lyon

    You're right, I was a bit over-the-top. I was so enraged at having been duped by this site into spending two-and-a-half hours of my life sitting through that garbage that I leaped into the first talkback I could find to express my rage. Will now transfer my comments to a more appropriate Dark Knight talkback.

  • July 25, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Loved it !

    by pumaman

    I can't believe the panning this is getting, I managed to see it last night and it was pretty intense , in a good way , oh and Mulder and Scully look like they haven't aged a day . Gillian Anderson looks amazing...

  • July 25, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Well....

    by Lauryn2000

    I saw the 10:00 am....if your an X-Philer this movie is definately for "shippers".It wants to be a thriller..a Silence Of the Lamb but the only silence I heard was the man next to me,snoring.It has it's moments and than you have loooon moments,that really should have cut out.Like (SPOILER ALERT) Mulder and Scully in bed...talking..she can't sleep and then he can't sleep.Crap they were putting me to sleep...I dunno what to say...it was nice to see them on the big screen and if this is the last time...the ending...on a row boat in the middle of paradise waving to us...is a fitting end. And you have to believe after two films in the snow and ice,Chris Carter deserved to send to some place with blue water and a blue sky. Do I recommend it...only if you want to see Mulder and Scully back on the screen again. If that's not your fancy...skip it and wait for it to come on cable. Since I know you won't even bother spending money on the DVD.

  • July 25, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Is not gona disappoint me more than DK

    by mvckalel

    Enough said, not gona disappoint me more than DK, so whatever, will see it on Monday...

  • July 25, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    by drewx71

    First of all you said "weaksauce"... The end shot was just a silly nod & thank you to the fans and nothing more.

  • July 25, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    They should rename it to CSI Vancouver

    by Elorna

    Looks like they took part of script from an usused X-Files episode and one from Millennium and meshed it together. This film would would have been more of a success as a November Sweeps TV special on FOX.

  • July 25, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Misleading

    by mvckalel

    Oh, and Alexandra's "ending" thing is misleading; she says is the final shot, but makes it look like the movie's ending...good job at misleading!! Well, to be fair, DK was a 4/5...

  • July 25, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    This update has the best layout ever

    by ArcadianDS

    nice font choice, nice font size. Makes the rest of the website look like it was drawn with nubby crayons on construction paper.

  • July 25, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    as for God using a pedophile for good

    by ArcadianDS

    isn't this plot device lifted wholesale out of The Green Mile?

  • July 25, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST

    shermdawg...

    by maxwell's hammer

    ...I know everyone in the talkbacks are just accustomed to everyone being a dick at all times and so we're conditioned to read every comment as though it were being delivered sarcastically, but in my comment, "yeah, it kind of was", I was agreeing with you.<BR> <BR> As in, "Yeah, it kind of is more than just a hiccup."

  • July 25, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    You Don't Get the End

    by Fuent1138

    The end credits is not just a wave to the fans it is much more. When you see the helicopter shadow it is an FBI helicopter. It is the darkness finding Mulder and Scully. At the end they said they would try and get away but the credits show the FBI has found them and they need their help. It is a sign of another movie....

  • July 25, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    max

    by Shermdawg

    oooooooooooooooh. My bad. <br><br> This place needs fucking emoticons.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    ArcadianDS

    by HoboCode

    John Coffey wasn't a pedophile.

  • July 25, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    I love the fact that Gillian Anderson

    by skimn

    doesn't remember a smidgeon of detail about the series that made her a star. In print and on TV, she has to be reminded of her baby's name, or that he was given up, or that Krychek was killed during the series. I know as an actor she doesn't have to recall such details, but it was Duchovney that reminded her about Krychek.

  • July 25, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Laughwhile

    by skimn

    BTW love your ID, but what I've read (even the good reviews), makes this sound like its sloooow going. Fans don't need explosions and gobs of special effects, but a compelling story will do, and this does not sound like it. Sounds like a better time would be spent catching some old episodes.

  • July 25, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    A Movie for Shippers not Fans

    by G100

    There's a difference. The Chemistry might be at the heart of the show but it's not enough to hang a fullblown Movie onto especially when their "relationship" seems so poorly drawn and awkward as it is in this.<p> <p>I'm a Fan but would it be too much to ask to get a Movie that had more to do with the shows main arc and where they left it with the first Movie ?<p> <p>Whatever, there will be another one of these flims along because if Duchovny and Anderson were willing to sign up to this script then they won't turn another payday down and those die-hards & shippers who just can't believe it's as simple as a sub-standard episode put on the big screen will ensure it makes enough through worldwide and DVD to recoup it's fairly small costs.<p> <p>I'll pass and wait for the next one thanks it's bound to be better than this.

  • July 25, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST

    FOX Strikes Again.

    by The Founder

    Not surprised by this. FOX just churns out turkey after turkey.

  • July 25, 2008, 4:14 p.m. CST

    This really did suck (SPOILERS)

    by Curtis Spicoli

    Issues I had with XFIWTB 1. How did Scully get to be a brain surgeon? She was pretty much a pathologist on the show. Answer: Judging by the movie, she just looks things up on the Internet. She's out running around with Mulder at 3 in the morning with the Psychic Priest, then performs complicated, experimental brain surgery on a little kid a few hours later, presumably with no sleep. There's a malpractice suit waiting to happen. 2. What a waste of Skinner. He essentially shows up in the last 20 minutes to give Scully a ride. 3. As a Midwesterner, this really stuck in my craw: What the hell happened to all the snow at the end? For almost the entire movie, it looked like they were running around in Alaska. Then in the scene in the driveway at the end, all of the snow is gone except for a couple of little piles. Anyone who lives in western NY, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, etc. can tell you that it takes a while for that much snow to melt. 4. Leoban the Gay Russian Kidnapping Organ Courier. Every time he came on screen, part of me wished I was home watching Battlestar Galactica. 5. All that stuff about the priest and sex abuse. Any movie that wants to make a serious statement about such a serious subject should not feature a two-headed dog. I could go on and on. I take no joy in wrting this. I'm truly disappointed. This movie is gonna bomb, and it will probably be the last time we see Scully and Mulder. That's a bummer.

  • July 25, 2008, 4:25 p.m. CST

    I liked it

    by DarthChimay

    I totally enjoyed this flick. Yeah, it was like watching a long episode of the show, but I'm alright with that. And yeah, it is definitely flawed. I'm surprised no one's brought up that godawful hammy Dubya part at the beginning. I sank down in my seat after that one. But I thought the plot was interesting, and found it a bit unsettling. And Duchovny and Anderson seemed like they hadn't missed a beat. Was it great? Nope. Was it at least as good as the best episodes of the series? Nope. But it was enjoyable. I'm not really sure what the problem with the camera-waving at the end is. I mean, yeah, it's stupid, but I just didn't care. It neither offended me or pleased me. The rest of the movie made me happy enough. Sorry you didn't like it though.

  • July 25, 2008, 4:29 p.m. CST

    A Flaccid piece of hack movie making...

    by SeymourClearly

    Just saw the movie this morning and I think that DuPont's review is much too kind. This movie is a total letdown from beginning to end. Damn you Chris Carter!

  • July 25, 2008, 4:38 p.m. CST

    Jack Colby

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    I was just thinking about the end credits of Predator today (I was reading about Sonny Landham). I think they actually work. But it was the 80s after all, it's harder to get away with that shit now.

  • July 25, 2008, 4:42 p.m. CST

    Also I'm A Little Disgusted

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    People could watch it after series 5. It's comparable to being in a relationship for five years and having it suggested to you that taking a shit on your face would spice things up a bit.

  • July 25, 2008, 5:48 p.m. CST

    They wave at a helicopter, for christ sake!

    by Roderich

    as fuent1138 pointed out. It is clearly visible in the closing credits as a shadow over the water.<p>Alexandra's other points are valid though (as always) but the movie is not so bad as f.e. the performances are quite good thoughout.<p>But if you seek for more bad points: the last act, especially when and why Mulder finds the evil antagonists is a mess. It seems he finds them by pure luck. Also the scientific "shocking truth" is ridiculous as it is presented here. What is shown is just not possible with the equipment used. Utterly impossible.<p>That said i still enjoyed it (expectations low though).

  • July 25, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    NOT THAT BAD .... ACTUALLY PRETTY GOOD

    by meximedia

    I think all the negativity is a bit harsh. How about we enjoy good filmmaking and not bash every flaw or plot hole we can find in these movies. You all make it sound like Uwe Boll directed this. Look at the facts. This was made on an independent film budget. Yeah, it's not groundbreaking cinema but at the same time it wasn't directed by Uwe Boll either. No, there's no alien conspiracy or monsters, just a solid supernatural thriller. What this movie is about though, is an insight into the progression of the relationship between Mulder and Scully. I am not a hardcore fan of the show, just a casual viewer who also enjoyed the first movie. And above all, it's a movie about faith. Faith in god, faith in what to believe, and more importantly, faith in one another. Like I said, it's not a bad movie.

  • July 25, 2008, 6:40 p.m. CST

    budget

    by meximedia

    The first movie, made in 1998, had a budget of 66 million. This one, made a decade later .... 30 million. Shows how much faith the movie studios have invested. That said, i would call the resulting movie somewhat of a miracle.

  • July 25, 2008, 7:46 p.m. CST

    seriously stop bashing the movie

    by hey...jonboy

    any movie that ends with the main characters waving to a helicopter is sheer genius. if the marketing idiots at fox knew anything, they would have incorporated that scene in the previews. maybe had some sort of viral marketing campaign based around the wave?

  • July 25, 2008, 8:03 p.m. CST

    PoeticWarrior

    by wontyouletmeknow.

    Please, PLEASE, don't tell me that you are not going to see 'The Dark Knight' because of that Lyon dude. To each his own, of course, especially on a site like this, where it is unbelievably easy to sound like you know what you are talking about, but listen...don't do it. Go see it. I really do assure you, he is wrong. It's brilliant. Leave Heath out of it. The movie, as a whole, deserves your attention, not just Heath's performance.

  • July 25, 2008, 9:36 p.m. CST

    Part of Ebert's brain died, people.

    by Chief Joseph

    The man had a stroke. Several, IIRC. And you want me to trust his opinion? I'll wait for more reviews.

  • July 25, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    chief joseph...

    by maxwell's hammer

    ...if you wait for and listen to the reviews, I think you're going to miss a gem of a movie. If you are a real fan of the X-Files, a real fan of the characters and their dynamics, and a fan of a moderately creepy mystery plot, then go see the movie. You won't be disappointed.<BR> <BR> If you're a typical talkbacker and derive sexual pleasure from shitting on things to prove how cool you are, then stay away from the theater at all costs!!

  • July 25, 2008, 10:47 p.m. CST

    how much

    by hey...jonboy

    did fox spend on sending plants to this talkback? i havent spoken to anyone who thought this movie was anything other than absolute shit. mamma mia will outgross it. fox will stay make a profit though thanks to the pitiful budget

  • July 25, 2008, 11:08 p.m. CST

    jonboy...

    by maxwell's hammer

    I think the people who didn't like the movie are the people who went into it expecting something else. (or the people who didn't actually see it but heard it was bad, so they decided they'd join in on the bashing). You can certainly complain about it not delivering on mythology or cameos from old characters or special effects. But you can't honestly call it a bad movie. I'm finding all the negativity a little confusing.<BR> <BR> Its a solid character driven film about Mulder and Scully and what they each represent as characters, and how they relate to one another. The mystery plot is just a frame to hang the character studies on. It's moody and creepy and feels like a plausible extension of where these characters have gone since the end of the show.<BR> <BR> Is it perfect? God no. The weird Bush bashing (i'm not a fan of his, but that moment very awkwardly stood out); the hasty forgiveness the FBI apparently offer Mulder (although it was kind of necessary for the movie to happen); a little bit of that cryptically circular dialogue where characters try to sound profound but don't actually say anything...<BR> <BR> But those were the kinds of thing you could find in any XF episode. If I could overlook them back in the day, I can certainly overlook them now, and enjoy what was, on the whole, a solid X-Files story.

  • July 26, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    Fuck, I loved it

    by Super Nintendo Chalmers

    I am not going to go into a huge rant here, but my girlfriend and I are huge X-Files nerds, own all of the seasons, and we loved the movie. The other huge X-Files nerds around us loved the movie and were very vocal about it. The only real complaint I have is that a top-level doctor, looking for a cutting edge treatment for an up-till-now incurable disease, would not fucking GOOGLE "Stem Cell Therapy." No fucking way. And Skinner's cameo was great. He and Mulder even cuddled a bit.

  • July 26, 2008, 3:21 a.m. CST

    Re: Well they only had $30 million...

    by Mace Tofu

    about what it cost to do 13 episodes of TV X-Files. So for that money all we get a 2 headed dog. Great. Thank god for REDBOX $1 DVD rentals.

  • July 26, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST

    DuPont totally misread the rowboat scene during the credits

    by slone13

    As Fuent1138 and Roderich have noted, the FBI helicopter's shadow is clearly visible. As much as Mulder and Scully may try to run from the darkness, it seeks them out.

  • July 29, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Oh those are bad news

    by Aeghast

    Still weeks to see this movie here in Argentina——now I'm not so sure about go seein' it, damn

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