Movie News

You'll Want to Believe Latauro's Review of X-FILES 2 Is a Hoax...

Published at: July 21, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST by mrbeaks

THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE

Despite the fact that it was the 1990s and we were used to this sort of thing, and despite the fact that I was only about 14 years old, I still thought that the opening credits of "The X-Files" were a little silly. I mean "Government Denies Knowledge" and "Trust No One" or whatever floating across the screen? Why not just have "This Is Spooky" and "Cloyingly Self-Conscious and Non-Evocative Words" printed up there? But then, I got into it. And then I started to get it. It was camp. Not Kenneth Williams camp, but quasi-Ed Wood camp. It wasn't a serious show, no matter how seriously Mulder took himself, or how seriously Scully took everything except Mulder. Embracing that campness meant that I was able to enjoy the otherwise-ridiculous movie subtitles of FIGHT THE FUTURE and, now, I WANT TO BELIEVE.

Of course, a more appropriate title for this second film would be THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE A PAEDOPHILE PRIEST HAS PSYCHIC ABILITIES, because that is exactly what the title refers to. Nobody's really grappling with any inner moral arguments here, no matter how many times Dana Scully looks mysteriously at that priest. The plot of the film -- which apparently revolves around some FBI agent going missing and some excommunicated Catholic priest somehow having a psychic connection to her -- is really all about whether the priest is telling the truth or not. Nobody changes. Of course they don't. As they learned in the original series, Scully can only decry supernatural being for so long before they need to play a new tune (and to be fair, they did, and to be fair, they do here too). Mulder, on the other hand, states that he's always been like this, even before the series started, and he's right. Big props to them not selling out the character by giving him some forced arc that betrays everything we've seen of him previously. On the other hand, there was room for a natural arc, and it wasn't there. So, with neither of our main characters really changing all that much over the course of the film, why am I watching? Oh yes, some FBI agent I've never heard of has gone missing. Hm...

There was some speculation that THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE has been kept under such tight wraps because we're in for something special. That, amongst the hype of DARK KNIGHT and whatever else has come out this American Summer, X-FILES 2 was going to be a big sleeper. Well, it sort of is, in that I almost fell asleep in it. In actuality, I believe that Chris Carter kept the plot a secret from not just the fans, not just the press, but the cast and crew as well. This is one of the most passionless affairs I've seen on the big screen in a while, like a B episode of the show. You know how when TV shows make their transition to the big screen, their modus operandi is to make everything bigger? (On that note, buy me a beer and I'll tell you why STAR TREK: INSURRECTION is the most successful Trek movie. No, seriously.) This X-FILES movie feels like a smaller version of the show. An episode with less scope, less imagination, and even less budget. How did they manage this?

Before you paint me as an X-F hater, I'm actually biased in the other direction. I'm not a die-hard fan, and I don't have the DVDs, but I loved the original seasons of the show, and I'm actually one of the few people who enjoyed the last couple of seasons. Really. All that shit with Dogget and the baby and Annabeth Gish, I was lapping it up. (Though, I will confess I've not revisited those episodes in case I see what everyone else is talking about -- liking season nine is what makes me special.) Bottom line is that X-FILES has to fall a very long way before I decry it. And I am definitely decrying it.

I have no problem with them leaving the arc stuff behind and focussing on a monster-of-the-week style of threat. As someone who usually prefers arcs over standalones, I always thought that "X-Files" was better when it was doing its standalones, almost as if its debt to anthology shows like TWILIGHT ZONE made continuity seem a bit out-of-place. However, the way they handle the actual arc stuff is a bit heavy-handed. "Isn't it great the FBI have stopped pursuing us even though the charges haven't been dropped?" I can handle, but "Hey, my baby's dead" is one of the most plodding excuses to not have a main character burdened by a child when she has to go running about at the drop of a hat... and yes, I paraphrased that dialogue, although it might have been better if they'd used my quotes verbatim.

But we haven't even come to the worst part yet. I wasn't being anti-Catholic when I made the paedophile priest reference beforehand (Happy Youth Day everybody!). Billy Connolly's priest is a convicted paedophile, and every time they discussed this, I sunk further into my chair. It's not that I don't think someone like Scully should hold a particular hatred for such a man, and nor do I think that someone like Mulder should allow him the opportunity to redeem himself, but this topic is not delved into. It's a weighty issue, and if you're going to deal with it, you need to deal with it well... you don't deal with it in the offhand way that, say, a 1990s show that featured alien abductions and werewolves would. It's a pretty big misstep, and I think that's why we're seeing Billy Connolly in the role.

Now, I love Billy Connolly. I grew up on his comedy, have paid a lot of money to see him live, and think he is easily one of the funniest and most brilliant men on the planet. If only his agent was as well. For some reason, he always tends to end up in complete garbage (with some exceptions), and even though this film doesn't work at all, I'm kind-of impressed that he took it on. This is because Father Joe was clearly designed to be their big name cameo. This movie is essentially the SILENCE OF THE LAMBS formula, with the priest being Hannibal Lecter, reacting to people who deal with his own crimes as he helps to catch another criminal. As I listened to the dialogue, I could picture an offer going out to Anthony Hopkins... then to Christopher Walken... then Tobin Bell... Terry O'Quinn... Paul Hogan... I can see the producers getting more and more desperate as all the character actors typically associated with giving meaty performances when they play total psychos all receive a script depicting a psychic paedophile priest in an X-FILES movie, and rejecting it faster than a metaphor does something speedily.

I don't know what else to say. I really don't. Dare I dwell on the miscasting of Xzibit as an FBI agent? Or the near-humourous sequence that passes for a third act? The "jokes" that Mulder keeps spurting? The bizarre and useless subplot of Scully's administrative adventures at a hospital? The worst moment of direction I've seen this year involving a picture of George W Bush, a picture of J Edgar Hoover, a comical "X-Files" theme sting, and some big-time gurneying? (I swear I didn't make that last one up.) Or the clearly-accidental, but utterly-unavoidable subtext (and my use of "sub" is kind there) that victims of paeophiles are more dangerous than the paedophiles themselves?

This film has been kept secretive because nobody knows what to do with it. It's so utterly awful, that it's probably a better idea that we pretend it didn't happen, because when we all come to make our Worst of 2008 lists, I doubt we'll even remember this one came out.

Peace out,

Latauro
AICNDownunder@hotmail.com



Readers Talkback

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  • July 21, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    FIRST!

    by Jonas Grumpy

    Bitches.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    FUCK!

    by Jonas Grumpy

    Not first.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    I so dearly want to believe!

    by thebearovingian

    But I'm not sure I can.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    hmmm....well, that's not good

    by just pillow talk

    I was hoping for a nice surprise with this. Perhaps not.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Hater.

    by hst666

    Camp? Sure there were some great campy episodes (love the Charles Nelson Reilly episode), but the show was a pretty good thriller and spookshow.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:22 p.m. CST

    X-files seems gay

    by g-ride9000

    like frapachinos, Abba and Dana Scully

  • July 21, 2008, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Review drips of self-love... and Terry O'Quinn

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    And reviewer, mentioning casting Terry O'Quinn...BIG mistake. Terry O'Quinn played a large part at the beginning of THE OTHER X-FILES MOVIE. Deerrrrrr!

  • July 21, 2008, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Xzibit-files

    by g-ride9000

    AKA PIMP MY X-FILES

  • July 21, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    The script was awfull AW-FULL

    by ScriptGirl00

    This film only went into production because David Duchovny wanted to do another X-Files movie, and he was owed a favor. Otherwise this never would have been greenlit. The script looked like it had been raped by a priest. <p> Remember to Subscribe ;)

  • July 21, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    AICN will next post a review of Star Trek...

    by Voice O. Reason

    ...by someone who never got or enjoyed Star Trek. Nothing wrong with not liking a show, but it kind of spoils the rest of the review.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    WOW! I couldn't disagree more.

    by Lashlarue

    I saw this movie, and I thought it was AWESOME! It'll certainly get the Academy Award for best supporting actor. I think it could even snag a nomination for Best Picture.<p> Wait... We are talking about The Dark Knight? Right?

  • July 21, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    STAR TREK:INSURRECTION

    by kwisatzhaderach

    If that was a serious comment we can pretty much disregard this whole review.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    STAR TREK INSURRECTION:

    by One Nation Under Zod

    I would love to know why this guy thinks it's the most succesful Trek...

  • July 21, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Seen it. He's a little harsh... but, sadly, not wrong.

    by YND

    As a huge fan of the show who lost a lot of interest (but still watched) after Season 6... this definitely struck me as a post-Season 6 episode. And not a great one at that. I actually thought Connolly was quite good. But that was about the best I could say about it. From a nostalgia point-of-view, it was great to see Scully and Mulder back together... but man oh man did I feel like the writers' strike screwed this one over. I believe they were given a greenlight for the movie only if they could get it shot before the writers' strike. Turns out they needed more time to get it into shape. There was actually a decent amount of potential in this idea (the pseudo X File that they're investigating turns out to be absolutely nutso -- which could've been a good thing, if handled correctly), but the way it's been put together is pretty damn clumsy. It's a shame, as I can't see this as being anything but the last nail in the coffin for the series. I went in excited but nervous... and my concerns turned out to be very much justified. Interesting note: I saw the film with a couple people who weren't fans of the show... and they liked the movie a lot more than I did. Not a good sign, IMHO.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Only if you were gay would it be wrong ;)

    by ScriptGirl00

  • July 21, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    ScriptGirl00

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Good comeback.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    Yeah, that ST:Insurrection blurb also confirms...

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    that both the review and reviewer fail epically.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    As an ex-X-Phile...

    by vic twenty

    My expectations will be in the dumper when I see this next week. Oh, I'll see it. As a result of this review perhaps it will be better than I'm expecting, a mild surprise or happy accident. Sucks if not because this seems to have been the last shot to make this a viable franchise. If the script was so bad, why not retool it or start fresh instead of effectively burying a potential franchise? Dirty damn bean counters. <p> BTW, the last two seasons of The X-Files were absolute crap. Presented in smell-o-rama.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    A psychic is the lamest excuse for sci-fi to have

    by CreasyBear

    a cheap budget. That and the doppelganger, where you just get two characters for the price of one actor. They couldn't scrape up enough money to make a decent vampire / monster villain for this flick? Maybe something fun, like when the X-Files delved into grim comedy? That would have been great. Instead, . . .

  • July 21, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    When AICN posts all of its reviews for Star Trek....

    by Lashlarue

    Prepare for the suck fest. J.J. Abrhams is the most brilliant director in Hollywood. Didn't you know? Why according to AICN... Mission Impossible 3 was GREAT! Cloverfield was GREAT! AND... every Television show that J.J. Abrham's name is attached to is GREAT! J.J. Abrhams is a man who can do no wrong. He's like Orson Wells or Stanley Kubrick... minus the talent, intelligence, or good taste.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Tuna

    by vic twenty

    Leftover from Californication.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    M Night's twist would be Mulders an alien all along

    by ingloriousjedi

  • July 21, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Ouch!!!

    by Gabba-UK

    Was kinda looking forward to this but I'll wait for other reviews before I form an opinion...

  • July 21, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Huh?

    by infinite_probability

    "rejecting it faster than a metaphor does something speedily." Was that intentional?

  • July 21, 2008, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Hi scriptgirl can i cum on your tits

    by ingloriousjedi

  • July 21, 2008, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Lashlarue

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Yup, MI:3 was one of the worst movies i've ever seen. Remember the amazing climax with Cruise vs. Hoffman? Nope, me neither.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Fight The Future and I Want To Believe are not..

    by REDD

    subtitles, they're taglines. I hope you know what subtitles are, we shouldn't have to tell you - right?

  • July 21, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    YND

    by vic twenty

    I didn't know that about the film's limited window re: the greenlight. I guess that explains the shoddy script (I believe ScriptGirl00, after all, she should know her scripts).

  • July 21, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    I have no patience for sci-fi movies that skimp

    by CreasyBear

    on selling the unbelievable world to the audience with good FX. A sci-fi movie with no budget has to be incredibly, insanely, overwhelmingly brilliant if it's going to sidestep the fact that it has no decent eye candy to offer. I also think that the entire budget of everything for the entire Sci Fi Channel should be compiled into one cool movie, and that the channel itself should thereafter be destroyed, with all its original movies with their stupid-ass, embarrassingly lame CGI monsters and no-name actors going away with it.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Hey, Latauro. *buys a beer*

    by TrumpyEatsPotatoes

    INSURRECTION. Now talk.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Fight The Future and I Want To Believe are not...

    by YND

    taglines, they're titles. I hope you know what taglines are, we shouldn't have to tell you - right?

  • July 21, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    yeah...

    by ciroslive

    The closer we get to its release the less we know. That's usually not good. I did love the Robert Patrick/Annabeth Gish seasons but thought the series finale was meh. I also HATED the shipper stuff that they seemed to shove into the mythology near the end. So this one flick will probably stink, especially after seeing TDK...

  • July 21, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Fight The Future is a tagline, its true

    by Bouncy X

    if it was the actual title, it would have been shown during the title sequence IN the actual movie and it isnt, the title is simply "The X-Files". but I Want To Believe is likely the subtitle since even the commercials on tv say " The X-Files : I Want To Believe" but i guess we'll know for sure when people who've seen it mention whether or not its used.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Damn that Chris Carter.

    by hank henshaw

    Why, why allow Chris Carter write AND direct this movie after all the harm he did to the tv show? If there is a new X-Files anything (movie or tv series) after this, don't allow C. Carter anywhere near it. Still, I'm hoping this movie is not as bad as the reviewer suggests it is.

  • July 21, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    I don't know about this.......

    by Crackles

    maybe I'll just go see The Dark Knight again! And again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again!!!!

  • July 21, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Seriously though.....

    by Crackles

    I really have to see this movie because I love the X-Files with a passion, but I have a really bad feeling about this!

  • July 21, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST

    i have never agreed with laturo...

    by jason baum

    why would i start now? he's an arrogant prick who defines: online snobbery. i won't post a competitors site here, but he does online podcasts at another site & is very pleased with himself. sounds very much like the type of guy who has never admitted to being wrong, or allowed his mind to change. i'm sure the movie works just fine, and hope this prick doesn't start to much of a negative buzz.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:02 p.m. CST

    Just watched 'Insurrection' yesterday.

    by Kurutteru Yatsu

    Showtime's been playing the hell out of it lately. (Why no Nemesis though? That's the only one I haven't seen since it was in the theater.) If you accept the fact that it's simply a TNG episode with a bigger budget it's not bad. Most successful Trek film though? Yeah, I gotta hear the argument for that one.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Pondscum is either a struggling actor or writer

    by ingloriousjedi

    or both

  • July 21, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Bad_Wolf

    by CreasyBear

    If you spelled it "pedophile", you're correct in the States. Same thing with "orthopedic", which has to be "orthopaedic" in those other countries that speak English. (I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of such things.)

  • July 21, 2008, 1:11 p.m. CST

    I Didn't Have An Opinion Until

    by Unlabled

    this last weekend when they are showing the 'new' trailer. Barely anything new right before the movie comes out and it just seem uninspired. I feared for this movie since seeing it.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST

    otherwordly doom pre-empts psychic pedophiles

    by juice willis

    how do you sidestep an impending alien invasion/government infiltration/cover-up? sorry, but next to that, just about anything else is fairly ho-hum. i realize they did that shit in the series all the time, but this as a big screen production and should have a little bit more coherence with the cinematic world they've already established.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Huh...X-Files???...

    by Kid Z

    ...People still care about that crap show from the 90's? Wha?... another shitty movie? Is it time for a whole 90's nostalgia trend already?

  • July 21, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    And Terry O'Quinn

    by Unlabled

    was the FBI agent who blew up in the first movie, so you can't have him as the Priest.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Oh well....

    by Kid Z

    ...maybe in ten years, JJ Abrams can recast this with a couple of overage Disney teen stars and start up the franchise again. Except Mulder's office will be relocated to Area 51.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    What's with the atrocious marketing on this one?

    by Freakemovie

    Is Fox just giving up on the movie business this summer? They just started airing TV spots last week, and I don't even remember if a full trailer ever came out. Nobody has any idea what the plot is. It's like they knew they were going to get overshadowed by The Dark Knight, but instead of developing a marketing strategy with that in mind, they just rolled over and died instead.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    What a letdown

    by Focker12384

    I hope its better than Latauro says, I've been kinda pumped about this hoping that the wait was worth it..... Now its about a pedophile priest??? WHAT THE FUCK

  • July 21, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    ...and mulder's affinity for porn

    by juice willis

    will be replaced by the joy of cooking

  • July 21, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    ScriptGirl00

    by JimBobCooter

    She even has a picture of her breasts in her screen name.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    I can't wait until the "Mad About You" movie comes out

    by chaddyd

    For god's sake. Why even bother with this drivel? This is a show that has been forgotten about. It was great for the first 7 seasons, but it is now outdated. This movie will flop in a big way.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Juice

    by vic twenty

    How about the Joy of Painting? They can investigate an "undead" Bob Ross creating "not-so-happy accidents" to the evil producer/landlord/Scooby villain that had him killed.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    There is a very brief scene in the trailer

    by Jor-El23

    where i would swear it looks like Washington DC is burning down...anyone know what i'm talking about?

  • July 21, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    BTW

    by vic twenty

    That is a better idea than anything in the last 2 seasons.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Reverse Psychology Plant!

    by apolo_sputnik

    I hate it so much I want to see it just to see why I hate it so much. Just so when I do actually see it I can say my preconceived notion was right! I do have psychic movie bashing abilities!

  • July 21, 2008, 1:29 p.m. CST

    vic

    by juice willis

    that would be the only plotline capable of justifying the departure from the impending alien takeover storyline.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Aww man! Bummer!

    by TheJake

    They should've gone with werewolves... or just made a sequel to the first one. I really really liked the first one and I'm not even a big fan of the show.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    I am always open to the negative reviews,

    by Jonah Echo

    and taking them seriously. But was this really much of a review? And what is so crazy about the pedo priest storyline? What is the supernatural element-because I don't think they mentioned that above. Is there more to it than just psychic connection? <p> If anything this seemed to resemble an ep of Millenium or some of the darker X-Files and that is fine by me. <p> Also, Laturo's reviews have been WAAY off in the past, and Script Girl(is it likely that's even the real deal) gives a brief "review" to say the least.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    The show was not campy!

    by RedHHades

    They had some campy episodes, made that way on purpose, and some of them were classics, as Jose Chung's From Other Space. Some of the stand alone episodes were brilliant, as Ice, Squeeze, Home, Clyde Bruckman and many others. The last two seasons of the shows were a letdown, that's for sure, but the first five years of the series had plenty of good stories to tell. I have my expectations on the low side, so I think I will like it quite a bit if they managed to keep the Mulder and Scully dynamic.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Give Scriptgirl the Black Box

    by Wed Vid Guy

    If she is who she says she is.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    I'll tell you why STAR TREK: INSURRECTION is the most successful

    by Luscious.868

    "I'll tell you why STAR TREK: INSURRECTION is the most successful Trek movie." <p>There is no reason to read any further after that line. If this guy really believes that and doesn't like the movie that means I'll probably love it.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Nope, sorry....

    by REDD

    The X-Files is the title to both movies, the rest - tagline. A movie tagline is a branding slogan or memorable phrase, produced by overpaid marketing departments, which reflect the tone of the movie.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Godammnit

    by The Octagoner

    I wish this review was wrong, but I've got a strong, strong feeling it's right.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    not addressing the alien issue

    by juice willis

    it's like ROTJ following up darth vader telling luke that he's is father with a story about luke... hell, man i don't even know...doing something that completely ignores that fact. nobody else is feelin this?

  • July 21, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    LOL..regarding Star Trek Insurrection

    by Jonah Echo

    And I like how he says he liked the last few seasons(really, why???) and that the show was primarily camp. It was on occasion, but usually it was more satirical than campy, and the episodes done in a serious vein were also great. This sounds like that style, and honestly returning to the catholic church, the religious supernatural and Mulder and Scully is a perfect route for the X-Files to take. Outside of the reviewer's whining, the actual stuff he says about the movie doesnt sound bad.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Did Any Real Fan EXPECT This To Be Good?

    by barneyshouldbeputdown

    The stills they've released have been boring. The trailers have been pretty boring. It's THE X-FILES. They could cut an amazing/suspenseful/intriguing movie trailer for almost any single episode of the show. We haven't gotten any of that. In the stills, they've given us various ANGLES on the same still. Marketing is all about creating heat, but this one's a stinker, and probably the death of the franchise. Fox probably has known that, and trying to mitigate the notoriety of the damage all along. I hope this isn't the case, but there's been no evidence whatsoever to the contrary. Chris Carter is insulated and out of ideas. His wisest move would've been to hand the franchise off to someone with real passion, who wasn't doing it simply because he/she had nothing else going on.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    Insurrection and last 2 Seasons?

    by sott68

    This totally disqualifies this review. Insurrection was horrid, made me hate TNG more. Gay movie. Last 2 seasons were so bad that I stopped watching - a guy who never missed an ep since day 1. I lost interest when the guy ate Patrick and vomited him back to life.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    X FIles Camp?

    by Thunderbolt Ross

  • July 21, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    That wasn't my impression

  • July 21, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    "A Tagline is a quotation of dialogue"

    by REDD

    Yes, remember when Ripley said "This time, it's war" in "Aliens". Oh wait. Yeah, yeah, I read your entire explanation.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST

    i feel..

    by chokinonrhodes

    ..my balls turning blue on this one..oh please please don't suck.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:48 p.m. CST

    It might be bad, but lets wait until

    by Jonah Echo

    some real reviews come along. This one simply doesnt count. If the next five reviews all proclaim it crap, this review still won't matter because it will have taken five reviews to prove it. If this had been Mori out of the gate, with examples, then at least we would have a starting point to take seriously(though even M isn't always right, Love Guru?) This is nothing.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    so, I'll take it's not as good as TDK?

    by RaveX

    is it?

  • July 21, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Latauro's another one of these d-bags...

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    ...that's so retarded he thinks throwing out crazy batshit notions like "X-Files is camp" and "ST - Insurrection is the most successful Trek movie" are genius just because HE said it. I really don't like this guy, and that's saying a lot considering the site he "writes" for.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    So...uh...where the fuck does the WEREWOLF come into play?

    by Mike_D

    i'm confused.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Well...I'll be...

    by REDD

    According to Wikipedia, a subtitle is "an explanatory or alternate title of a book, play, film, musical work, etc., in addition to its main title." So it's "The X-Files: Believe Again" with the tagline "I Want To Believe"? Okay, great, we're all on the same page now!

  • July 21, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    'And then I started to get it. It was camp.'

    by DrAstroZoom

    No, it wasn't. And no, you didn't. And thus was the "back" arrow pressed.

  • July 21, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Paint me crazy but...

    by Frankenbastard

    It sounds like he really didn't care for the show all that much to begin with. Thats like saying "oh i know plan 9 is a shitty film, but i get that it's shitty". BTW as crappy as Plan 9 was at least it's paced better than most films nowadays.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    This was dead before the first frame was shot.

    by HoboCode

    Xibit? Non arc storyline? Carter directing? No one caring anymore? Aged, dwindling stars? Zero marketing? Zzzzzzzz....

  • July 21, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    So, do the Lone Gunmen...

    by REDD

    make an appearance? Frank Black? Skinner? Superintendent Chalmers?

  • July 21, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Anybody seen Richie?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    I'm gonna keep coming back until someone REMEMBERS seeing Richie!

  • July 21, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Never got the fanboy/fangirl drool over TV show

    by crankyoldguy

    Never got the fanboy/fangirl drool over TV show. I watched it on and off, but never became invested in the characters. Of course, I was pissed off at Fox early on, because X-Files debuted the same year, same night, back to back with Brisco County Jr. and Fox decided they could only keep one of the shows going and of course, choose X-Files. Brisco is so watchable again and again as a DVD set. I can't imagine the same holds true for the X-Files Seasons. Sure, there were some episodes where I though, "oh, that was interesting." But then came that feature film, which to me, was a big nothing, Kinda boring in spots, with no real payoff, just a load of red herring plots pasted together. Now if you're a giant fan, more power to you, go see the new one and I truly hope it meets your needs. But for me, X-Files wasn't even in my Top Ten for the '90s. Of course all our lists and personal viewing mileage will vary. This new movie's a Netflix rental for me down the road. That's it.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Motoko Kusanagi

    by Sailor Rip

    Alright look, I saw Ritchie, he had a fucking corkscrew stuck in his head.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Nosferatu and that revewer

    by LT

    are complete idiots and douchebags. Nothing compares to the chemistry between Anderson and Duchovny. This film will be loved by X-Philes. Fanboys at AICN should STFU already - the show was always too complex for your tiny brains.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Oh shit, it was Ri"t"chie I saw...

    by Sailor Rip

    ...it might not be the same Richie you're looking for. Nevermind.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    by subtlety

    I had real hope for the series based on the trailers, and just the fact that they're doing it. Why do it at all if they don't care? Still... the fact that Chris Carter wrote and directed it is enough to make me believe this review is potentially spot-on. As much as I love the man for creating the show, he's George Lucas all over again. Great vision, horrible with the details (many of the stupidest episodes with the worst writing can be attributed to him). Still... I want to believe!

  • July 21, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Not Surprised

    by BRUTICUS

    that was a garbage trailer, very boring and infact made me not want to see the movie.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Another review,a positive one..

    by Jonah Echo

    This one over from Movie Hole. I don't know what cred this person has, but they write better than Lautaro, and someone might say "Movie Hole" how do we trust them? I saw this is AICN and this is the australian reviewer, so this review(while also likely not entirely accurate) is just as legitimate as the one posted.. <p> http://www.moviehole.net/2008/07/21/x-files-is-back-says-tosia/

  • July 21, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    ALIENS vs. X-Files...

    by Sailor Rip

    ... "Hey Skully what is that little thing crawling around in the corner." Shines flashlite on FACEHUGGER. Thwap! "Oh shit Mulder, there's something on your fa- Thwap! Roll credits. <p> Yes, I've been around real facehuggers, not those pussy one's in zoos, when they attach to you it makes a Thwap! sound.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    this looks bad.

    by BMacSmith

    so no aliens this time out, eh?

  • July 21, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    No aliens, thank God.

    by LT

    The producers said that for the past nine months. Were you under the rock?

  • July 21, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    I've seen the film too...

    by Messiahman

    And Latauro's right. The worst part is the fact that it's little more than a freaky medical mystery -- the only vaguely supernatural bits are Connoly's psychic antics. This is not only the biggest misfire of the summer -- it's also the final nail in XF's coffin. I was at a critic's screening, and the reaction was almost uniformly similar -- expect quite a few more terrible reviews.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    STRAIGHT TO DVD?

    by Mullah Omar

    If not, why?

  • July 21, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    M:I:3 had a decent opener

    by SpencerTrilby

    the next 100 minutes were an abomination. TV guys are the shit now because of the boom of the syndicated and cabled TV shows since the late 90's, but I don't remember any of them carving a mark in the genre movies. Their so-called "revolution" is just a marketing joke. <p> JJ Abrams may be a sly writer, but his ugly, cheap TV tricks stuck out like a sore thumb on the big screen. And he can't direct actors for shit.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Camp doesn't take itself seriously

    by Samuel Fulmer

    The X-Files always felt like it took itself very seriously. Now whether people took it seriously is another story.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Likes insurrection; likes season 9....

    by The Eskimo

    ...OK this guy's credibility is lacking, and how about a spoiler alert on a couple of items. That being said, I am not 100% convinced this guy (or anyone here who claims to have seen this movie is on the up-and-up). How bout some details like how and where you got to see it? Was it released early on limited screens or in another country....or was this one of those "test screening" you to get invited to on your way out of another movie. I want to believe (not intended) but a lot of your review includes details and leaks that can be found on the web.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    MI:3..Not good, but boy was it praised in '06

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Sure it was a step up from MI:2, but that didn't take much. The only decent one was #1, and that's got more to do with Brian De Palma's direction than anything.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    I Don't Know What's Worse...

    by Tipsy McStagger

    That this movie apparently sucks or that Latauro paid money to see Billy Connelly live.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Latauro thinks if he thinks it's corny, it's "camp".

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    What a self-absorbed douchebucket. He needs to do some research before trying to review anything.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Inserrection was a tonal catastrophe

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    The only thing that could have made it worse would be Data urinating on Picard's head or Commander Ryker swinging on vines with alien monkeys. Like the bit where Data inflates himself, it's Star Trek not Futurama!

  • July 21, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Jonah Echo...

    by subtlety

    thanks for the link. Glad to hear that someone enjoyed it... for the sake of balance if nothing else. Considering that Laureto or whatever says such really bizzare things (X-files camp??? Love season 9??? Star Trek: Insurrection?!!?) I'm willing to discount this review as self-important dribble from someone who has a VERY different idea of what constitutes "good" than I do. Still.... it makes me worry.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Boston Legal is Camp

    by Samuel Fulmer

    So's Ugly Betty. Batman from the '60's. I don't see how X-Files fits.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    So it's another reason to see TDK again this weekend.

    by disfigurehead

  • July 21, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    O'Quinn actually played THREE characters in the X-Files universe

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    He played a police detective in the season 2 episode "Aubrey" (good one), the FBI agent who deliberately allows himself to be blown up in the first movie, and a Supah Soljah in the season 9 ep "Trust No. 1".

  • July 21, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Billy Connely Vs. Howard Hessman

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Maybe we'll get Head of the Class re-boot where they have a death match to see who gets to teach the gifted kids.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:40 p.m. CST

    X Files 3: The Search For Curly's Gold

    by Tipsy McStagger

  • July 21, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    In fairness, did anyone think this would be good?

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    The first X-Files film was plot hole city. They decided to blow up the infected corpses? Eh, ever heard of an incinerator?

  • July 21, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    TDK FTW!

    by DarfurFTW

  • July 21, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    I agree about Star Trek: Insurrection

    by Nico Toscani

    As far as TNG movies, it most closely resembled an average episode of the show. If by success, you mean acurately translating the show into a feature, Insurrection did it better than the others. That's not to say it's actually good, just a successful translation.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    XXX Files 3: State of the Union

    by Samuel Fulmer

    With Ice Cube as Scully.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Connolly used to be a comedian...

    by jimbubble

    ...in the 70`s and 80`s then people got bored of him telling the same jokes again and again and again and again.... Apart from Mrs Brown he has done hee haw of any note in any film since! His part as a dirty beast will go down well with the Irish/scottish soccer team he claims to support! Big Billy Knew ;-)

  • July 21, 2008, 2:51 p.m. CST

    four characters in the xfiles uni for OQUINN

    by Jonah Echo

    you forgot the Millenium character. Frank Black mets Scully and Mulder in season 7

  • July 21, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    MorbidObesity

    by REDD

    Which posting? I had more than one.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Best Movies that Continued a TV series

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Star Trek II and even though it's a prequel (or is it??) Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    My Two Dads the Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Now there's one we're all waiting for.

  • July 21, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    o'quinn was dead by the time frank met mulder and scully

    by Bouncy X

  • July 21, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Family Matters the Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Because we need to see how Urkel's character arc plays out.

  • July 21, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    Just the Ten of Us the Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Dad is now balder and fatter.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Full House the Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    As long as none of the cast members are in rehab.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Latauro's first paragraph...

    by thekylegassproject

    ...makes this review null and void to me.<p> "quasi-ed wood campy"..."not a serious show"... what the fuck?<p>

  • July 21, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Perfect Strangers the Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Balki and Larry finally get married.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Growing Pains the Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    See which Seavers get Left Behind.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    We don't pay ticket prices to see a ST-TNG episode...

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    on the big screen! It's a movie for goddamn sake! It should feel like a movie, not a cheap ass, scopeless episode that will be watched and forgotten in no time. Idiots.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Auto Man vs. Manimal

    by Jonah Echo

    With a scene where Kolchak shows up and attempts to kill them both.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Nip/Tuck: The Movie

    by REDD

    Free Rhinoplasty to the first 10 ticket holders!

  • July 21, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    My Favorite Camp show

    by Samuel Fulmer

    The NBC Nightly News

  • July 21, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    I would watch a "Mad About You" movie

    by Second Try

    X-Files just suuuuuuuuuuuucked in the 90's.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:10 p.m. CST

    Chris Carter the new George Lucas

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Instead of Jake Lloyd and Ahmed Best he gives the audience Billy Conolly and XZibt.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    IAmJack'sUserID...

    by REDD

    Has a point. Why didn't they just do this as a movie special on Fox? With all of the competition out there (plus, people watching their money more closely because of the economy) it probably wont do that well. Oh well, movies these days are like commercials for the eventual DVD release.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Seaquest DSV The Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    With more Talking dolphin backstory.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Family Matters movie would be good

    by Bouncy X

    they could explain the mystery of the disappearing younger child. the little sister went upstairs one episde early on and never returned, we must find the truth.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    The O.C. the Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    That way the kid who was going to play the Flash in the dead (let's hope) mo-cap George Miller Justice League movie needs more stuff on his resume.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Another negative review..with SPOILERS

    by Jonah Echo

    but I won't post it, just the link. It's from another source who has a bad rep for hating good stuff and praising crap(4 star transformers review in this case) and the reason for the hate seems to be this is barely supernatural in nature. I admit, that if they did this at all, they should have gone all out, but who knows. The plot sounds really out there, but it's going to come down to how it is handled. Follow this link if you want some more details to go along with your disappointment. Me, I want to believe. Ill be wanting to believe all the way until I see this thing and find out how misplaced or rewarded my faith was. <p> http://www.scifimoviepage.com/xfiles2.html

  • July 21, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Family Matters Missing Kid

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Maybe Billy Connolly got 'em.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Meh

    by Ray_Marden

    I consider myself a fan ox The X-Files, but I could care less about this movie. What does the trailer show? Ice... FBI agents... Connolly bleeding from the eyes... Xzibit pimping somebodys ride... somebody under ice... It could easily be an episode of CSI, Law and Order, or any number of other shows. As a fan, I'm not even remotely interested. For all the lost fans or non-fans? This won't do a thing. This really annoys me, too, because Carter is essentially killing off The X-Files. Yeah, I realize this won't be a huge change, but there definitely won't be any other movies. And this is what he waited all these years to make? This is his big story to bring to the public? This is what he felt a great passion for? Uhhh...

  • July 21, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    "faster than a metaphor does something speedily"

    by Rebeck2

    LOL. Well played, sir. Well played.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Samuel Fulmer, AMEN!

    by TheLastCleric

    The original MI is the only worthy film. MI2 was crap and MI3 was just empty.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:43 p.m. CST

    Latauro Could Be BOTH

    by barneyshouldbeputdown

    He could be both a clueless hack when it comes to all things X-Files, AND he could also be RIGHT in his estimation of the movie's utter suckiness. And in context, if you read carefully, it seems like he was trying for irony in his comment about INSURRECTION. I don't think he means that it's actually the best Star Trek movie ever. If he did... well then, he IS an idiot, regardless of whether he's right or wrong on this movie.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    i want to believe ..this is a hoax...but

    by earlfist

    i've got a feeling this may be true. Chris carter was the fourth best writer after darin morgan, vince gilligan and the wongs. The later shows he wrote sucked the devils pecker so badly you could smell shit wafting from the screen as the episode played out. The whole vibe of this movie has been wrong since the rushed schedule, the dull trailers and that fucking awful photofit 2nd poster. the x files shone in episodes like beyond the sea bad blood jose chung or drive and it was great classic tv. When it sucked it was awful.the clip i saw on leno last week was really awful. Although duchovny did say there is a big surprise in store so maybe this is a hoax. There's not much in this review you could not of gleamed from other sources. But i am guessing that this is gonna bomb.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:48 p.m. CST

    I'm not expecting a SFX-driven movie.

    by hank henshaw

    Ever since they said what was the budget of this movie (30-35 million), all I thought was: "well, the story better be good, if they are going to release such a small movie in the middle of the summer." Again, even if the movie is good, I hope Chris Carter stays away from The X-Files next time (if there is a next time).

  • July 21, 2008, 3:52 p.m. CST

    camp as Kenneth Williams???

    by Celtican

    Surely that's something a Brit reviewer would say surely! I call bollocks cause if you're ever ready Connolly's biography you'd know it would be HIGHLY doubtful he would play a paedophile.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:54 p.m. CST

    SpencerTrilby

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Totally agree. MI:3 was piss-poor, a low-rent remake of True Lies. Compare Abrams shot-up bridge scene with Cameron's. Game over man.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    srsly mr. sinister

    by thekylegassproject

    i agree. WHAT THE FUCK. what's with the x-files haters?

  • July 21, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    "And then I started to get it."

    by www.valiens.com

    Ed Wood camp? No you didn't get it at all. So this review is meaningless. Tues. 29th 8pm I'll have an interview with Chris Knowles, author of "Our Gods War Spandex" and the new Official X-Files book coming in October. If anyone's interested, check it out at my namesake. We get into the X-Files a bit.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Ugh

    by EyeofPolyphemus

    The Trojan condom ad under a review that mentions pedophilia so often is darkly funny.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    Also have seen this....

    by Imperium74

    Not as bad as the reviewer made it out to be. The problem with the movie is that after too many years without it, X-Files doesn't come back like it should. Using the same formula as the TV series (That didn't have to do with the Black oil conspiracy) it attempts to sell us the same time of story line. They should have stuck with the alien, black oil storyline for this movie. Xhibit or whatever his name is, shouldn't have been in the movie, he's terrible, miscast and out of place. Seeing Moulder and Scully back together again was worth the price of the ticket. The story is ho-hum though.

  • July 21, 2008, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Oops....

    by Imperium74

    Same type of storyline, not time.

  • July 21, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    I want to believe that

    by optimus122

    Scriptgirls boobs are real , damn is she hot...yummy. Also even if this guy who did the review is an asshat I have no doubt that the movie will stink or be thoroughly average. Theres a reason Chris Carter has done nothing for a long time.

  • July 21, 2008, 4:02 p.m. CST

    This supposed insider better be a jackass and he better be lying

    by MattHooper

    I've been waiting for Carter to take the reins of this franchise and bring it back for a long time - I'm BIG BIG FAN of the Files, man. I really hope this is hogwashbullshitlies

  • July 21, 2008, 4:06 p.m. CST

    DARIN MORGAN ROCKS MY WORLD

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    In my dream fantasy universe I manage to persuade Darin Morgan to write a script for me to shoot. Did anyone read his unproduced script for The Nightstalker show, The "M" Word? It was silly but very funny.

  • July 21, 2008, 4:09 p.m. CST

    this review makes me happy

    by theredtoad

    Justification, baby. Stings, don't it?

  • July 21, 2008, 4:09 p.m. CST

    I HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE TOO!

    by salamimansam

    What I can't figure out is why they didn't flesh out the whole 'turd-burglar' elements. That was truly the most meaningful thing in the film. And the fact that Scully has sex with Mulder even though she is DEEP in a lesbian relationship is pretty hot, but also disconcerting. Point is, next time, for the next film: MORE TURD-BURGLARS! And less laser guns. C'mon, Carter, LASER GUNS? Are you kidding?

  • July 21, 2008, 4:11 p.m. CST

    RE: SCRIPT GIRL

    by salamimansam

    Any of you guys out there notice she has breasts? Two of them? Man. I wonder if she is aware of that fact. Pretty distracting....when I just want to check out the news of the hottest scripts in town, I get a semi-attractive chick with TWO breasts!

  • July 21, 2008, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Latauro leaned back in his leather armchair

    by smackfu

    and gazed into the fireplace, taking a deep inhale of his hickory pipe while brushing the ashes from his red silk smoking jacket, and gently mouthed the word "paedophile", blissfully self-satisfied that his obviously antiquated spelling of the word would differentiate him from the common reviewer. "Pae-do-phile..."

  • July 21, 2008, 4:20 p.m. CST

    Latauro liked the last seasons of X-Files AND Insurrection

    by smackfu

    I'm beginning to suspect he's really Herc.

  • July 21, 2008, 4:26 p.m. CST

    "Latauro leaned back in his leather armchair"

    by www.valiens.com

    That's the funniest thing I've read all day. Thanks!

  • July 21, 2008, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Smackfu

    by Rebeck2

    LOL to you too. I laughed out loud twice today on AICN, of all places - whoda' thunk?

  • July 21, 2008, 4:34 p.m. CST

    Talkback Reactions with Vague SPOILERS

    by YND

    1. As stated above, I found the film damned disappointing (and I'm a total X-phile, just re-watched the whole series from 1st to last ep a few years ago and thought X FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE was pretty great).<p>2. Redd guy, it actually says "THE X FILES - I WANT TO BELIEVE" on the screen at the beginning of the film. I stand firm that this makes it a title.<p>3.) As far as recurring characters go, someone asked about the presence/absence of The Lone Gunman, Frank Black or Walter Skinner. I'll throw in Krycek, Doggett, Reyes and the Cigarette Smoking Man and say that only ONE of those characters appears in the film, and not until Act III.<p>4.)Yes, the film is barely supernatural. Connolly's psychic abilities are the only supernatural element of it, though the crime itself gets pretty nuts near the end (but deals more with the medical world than the supernatural world).<p>5. I hope these html paragraph tags work, or there's going to be a lot of junk in this post.

  • July 21, 2008, 4:38 p.m. CST

    TOO EARLY!! ...Seriously, no one "misses" the X-Files yet.

    by Flim Springfield

  • July 21, 2008, 4:38 p.m. CST

    List of people that could make a better X-Files story than Carte

    by hank henshaw

    Anyone who knows how to hold a pencil.

  • July 21, 2008, 4:57 p.m. CST

    oof, a bad review

    by newc0253

    but i'll wait till i read a few more negative reviews from reliable sources before avoiding this at the cinema...

  • July 21, 2008, 4:58 p.m. CST

    I'm afraid the reviewer is spot on...

    by SoupSpitter

    ... the motion lacks any passion or drama, it actually downsizes the TV to the level of a mildly entertaining two parter, and Carter can't direct worth two shits. But I also found some of the minor details disturbing: the bad guys are Russians, the perverts are gay, the only incompetent FBI agent also happens to be the only BLACK FBI agent, and the Catholic priest is a pedophile. I am sorry, that's just too much - and plain wrong...

  • July 21, 2008, 4:59 p.m. CST

    As completely expected.

    by wcme

    Seriously - in a summer with IRON MAN, DARK KNIGHT and so much else....a 2nd X-files film? 10 years later? With Scully looking like she is gaining on Sarah Jessica Parker? WHO really needs this film? Who expected it to do well? This is in the ball park of the Rush Hour 3 / Beverly Hills Cop 4 arena. Utterly no interest in seeing this film at all. Got 3 free tickets to see this via Best Buy for buying all 3 Outer Limits seasons last week. Don't have any idea what to do with them. On another note, while THE MUMMY films 1,2 and SK didn't interest me at all, the new MUMMY looks oddly interesting. You guys will have to get your pedophile black goo spewing fix elsewhere.

  • July 21, 2008, 5 p.m. CST

    Fuckit

    by SoupSpitter

    "movie", not "motion", and "TV series" instead of "TV". I gotta stop writing so fast...

  • July 21, 2008, 5 p.m. CST

    Well, 2 Outer Limits seasons - 3 sets.

    by wcme

    :) Wish I could have picked up HARSH REALM or THE LONE GUNMEN which were also at $12 each.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST

    yeah but gillian

    by El Borak

    with long hair is SOOO GOOD!!!

  • July 21, 2008, 5:04 p.m. CST

    The 5 or 6 People Who Still Care Will Love It Anyways

    by LaserPants

    So I reckon this movie will make at least $50 or $60 before it disappears into the cut-out bin of history.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Wait, I'm Being Unfair

    by LaserPants

    Okay, okay, the 10 people who still care will love it anyway. I bet this movie is going to make at least $100! Just $300 more and Carter will be able to afford an XBox 360!

  • July 21, 2008, 5:06 p.m. CST

    I cared.

    by YND

    I did not love it.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Conversely, the people I saw it with did not care.

    by YND

    And they liked it.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:11 p.m. CST

    "Carter can't direct worth two shits"?

    by newc0253

    i dunno but the first X-Files movie was directed by Carter, no?<p> If this one is as good as the first, i'll be satisfied.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:18 p.m. CST

    First X Files Movie directed by Rob Bowman

    by YND

    But Carter did some good work with series eps.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:19 p.m. CST

    Shit, I'm a huge X-Files fan and now I don't even want to see th

    by BillEmic

    Who got the Catholic pedo-priest in my X-Files movie? This doesn't even sound like it's worth $8. I guess they kept the plot under wraps because they knew it a.) was offense and b.) sucks. What a waste. I used to be a huge fan of the show. Duchovny looks weathered as shit in this, though. Either that or just a really bad hair do that makes his forehead look massive.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:19 p.m. CST

    If ScriptGirl says it was bad, then it is bad.

    by SkeletonParty

  • July 21, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST

    When I gave up on the X-files

    by wcme

    While I liked Dogget and Rahyes in seasons 8 and 9, The final episode clearly illustrates that even when boxed into a corner, Chris Carter still could not clearly articulate in any way what the fuck any of the "Mythology" actually meant. 9 years of intertwined unintelligible hooha about oil and bees and packages and small pox and Indians and ice caves and future invasions could not come together into anything close to coherence. All the alien clones of Mulders sister, the babies in glass jars or all the auto erotic asphyxiations in 9 years could paint anything resembling a overall plot. One would hope LOST has been to the rodeo before and is keeping close watch, yet I have at least 50 bullet points that have been brought up and never seen again from 4 seasons, so I am not sure they have learned from the past at all. Good luck to all the lovers of mythology. If you tape an X on your window with duct tape maybe someone can come explain it for us in an underground parking garage. The times it worked were the NIGHT STALKER stand alone episodes. Yet, it seems that this also doesn't work after all these years. Oh well. At least we will always have the inbread hillbilies!

  • July 21, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST

    ~~~~~ALIEN VS. PREDATOR VS. PEDOPHILE PRIEST -- whoever wins, we

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    already this review tells me NOT to see the movie. not that X-FILES wasn't hot or anything, but why do I feel like this property is simply outdated? is it that the actors have aged? or that government conspiracies aren't simply new for us? guess it's like trying to ride an old tired horse...

  • July 21, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST

    whoever wins, we lose

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    DANG! got cut off again! =0(

  • July 21, 2008, 5:49 p.m. CST

    thats not scriptgirl. I demand to see the black box

    by Mr_X

    it would make a change from the boobs, i' im kinda pervy like that if you know what i mean

  • July 21, 2008, 5:52 p.m. CST

    really carter has been milking this series for years

    by Mr_X

    the milk's gone bad!

  • July 21, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    WHERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT?

    by kolacek

    I repeat: "WHERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT?" Put up or shut up.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:54 p.m. CST

    W.HERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT?

    by kolacek

    TELL US OR RETRACT.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:55 p.m. CST

    WH.ERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT?

    by kolacek

    TELL US OR RETRACT.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:56 p.m. CST

    WHE.RE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT?

    by kolacek

    TELL US OR RETRACT.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:59 p.m. CST

    I liked Insurrection

    by photoboy

    Generations was crap, First Contact suffered from having all the exciting stuff at the beginning (although it was quite good) and Nemesis was the largest steaming pile of shit ever to have the Star Trek name attached to it. It even made Star Trek V look like Citizen Kane.<br><br> Insurrection managed to capture the spirit of the show much better than any of the other films I thought, and did a decent job of giving all of the characters something to do.<br><br> It wasn't the best Trek film ever, but it was still enjoyable. <br><br> For the record, I've not seen the last seasons of the X-Files, but I thought it had gone to shit by about season 6 so I would have probably hated the last few seasons. They really should have planned their alien invasion arc better.

  • July 21, 2008, 5:59 p.m. CST

    WHER.E DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT?

    by kolacek

    TELL US OR RETRACT.

  • July 21, 2008, 6:18 p.m. CST

    Whoa, Kolacek is having a breakdown.

    by PumpyMcAss

    Movie's out in just a few days. You're obviously going to see regardless.

  • July 21, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST

    Dear Kolacek

    by SoupSpitter

    Angry much? Nobody here HAS TO "tell or retract". If you don't believe the review is legit, don't believe it. However, there have been numerous press screenings in numerous countries (including one I attended), so there is no reason to believe that the reviewer has made it all up. Neither have I. One more thing I want to mention: "X-Files 2" is not only lacklustre as a feature film - even as a two parter of the original show it would look outdated and bland. Let's face it: storytelling techniques have changed over the last 15 years (24, CSI, BSG), and at best, this movie looks like an overlong episode of "Cold Case". And Mulder's beard looks fake as hell.

  • July 21, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST

    No Aliens, No Watchy

    by CrazyGnome

    I watched x-files for the story arc. F the monster of the week. So boring. Bring back the alien invasion. Of course after this failure we won't see another X-files movie. Shame

  • July 21, 2008, 6:44 p.m. CST

    Bad_Wolf

    by Jonas Grumpy

    I'll shout "FIRST!" any goddamned time I want. Especially when I click on a brand-new article that has no talkback posts yet. Five seconds faster, and I would have actually been first. <BR><BR>Bite ass.

  • July 21, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Daemn, this sounds Raelly Raelly Baed

    by 18to88

    Downright horraendous.

  • July 21, 2008, 7:05 p.m. CST

    Anybody else miss Doggett?

    by subtlety

    I stopped watching on TV during season 7, which featured some really unforgivably stupid crap. The "resolution" to "the Sixth Extinction" was anything but... it was as if they'd forgot how they started the arc! What the fuck happened to the spaceship in Africa? Does anyone care? Also, the excretable "Rush" ... the profoundly stupid "First Person Shooter"... the incredibly lame "Fight Club" (both those two Chris Carter either wrote or directed), plus gimmicky "X-Cops," unnecessary sequel "Orison" and inexplicable (why now? why like this!?) "All Things". Add to those crushing failures a few servicable but staggeringly vanilla moster-of-the-week things ("Signs and Wonders", "Theef", "Chimera") and arguably the lamest imaginable ending to Mulder's missing sister (spoiler -- she was "taken by magic beings that live in starlight" are you FUCKING kidding me?!) and you've got a season that made me give up on the X-files. However, just this summer I went back and watched season 8 and 9 in time for the movie... and, strange to say... while Season 9 was pretty weak, season 8 is actually one of my favorites. Monica Reyes was a dumb character poorly acted, but Robert Patrick really works to sell John Doggett, and you know what? I think he's a terrific fit for the X-files universe, and an interesting character in and of himself. His relationship with a very strained Scully feels very legit to me (although, as usual, the Chris Carter episodes manage to get it all wrong... see his inexplicable asshole turn in "This is Not Happening" and "DeadAlive"). Anyway, I know Mulder and Scully are the classic team, but I'm sorry Doggett doesn't get some love now that its semi-hip to be an X-files fan again.

  • July 21, 2008, 7:07 p.m. CST

    Sorry, You Lost Me at X-Files is Camp

    by DKT

    I still want to believe.

  • July 21, 2008, 7:11 p.m. CST

    Goodbye X-Files.

    by Epsilon

    Guess we never get a resolution to the alien invasion. That's what they should have used this movie for. Just give all the fans who watched forever a suitable ending. But no, we get this crap.

  • July 21, 2008, 7:11 p.m. CST

    P.S. Chris Carter, I'm glad Harsh Realm bombed.

    by Epsilon

    Bastard.

  • July 21, 2008, 7:26 p.m. CST

    If It's About An Ongoing UFO Conspiracy?

    by LaserPants

    Yeah, its camp.

  • July 21, 2008, 10:38 p.m. CST

    I look forward to reading Harry and Moriarty's analysis of XF2

    by BDuncan

    I look forward to reading both Harry and Moriarty's analysis of XF2, in terms of what they think it did wrong (if in case they also come out of it disappointed by it) and what they reckon it should've done a lot better.

  • July 21, 2008, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Is it "The Happening" bad ?

    by G100

    it certainly sounds like it will struggle on DVD never mind the big screen but just how awful could it be ?

  • July 21, 2008, 10:45 p.m. CST

    TELL ME WHO YOU WORK FOR!!!

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF!!!

  • July 21, 2008, 10:47 p.m. CST

    WHERE DID YOU GET AN EARLY PRINT????

    by IAmJack'sUserID

    The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to read your crap. You are gonna tell me what I wanna know, it's just a matter of how much you want it to hurt.

  • July 21, 2008, 10:48 p.m. CST

    Where does a priest take a child for a good time?

    by The Grug

    To the edge of a cliff - they push back better.

  • July 21, 2008, 10:48 p.m. CST

    I think I'm going to watch the WATCHMEN trailer again

    by Mace Tofu

    The plot to this new X-files bums me out man...

  • July 21, 2008, 10:49 p.m. CST

    Billy Connolly...

    by The Grug

    you're great, but you make some strange choices in films.

  • July 21, 2008, 10:50 p.m. CST

    Oh Grug, LOL

    by Mace Tofu

    Old joke but that cheered me up.

  • July 21, 2008, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Sounds like a snoozefest

    by kafka07

    Chris Carter sucks. What do you expect?

  • July 21, 2008, 10:58 p.m. CST

    NOT a HOAX

    by MileHigh

    Saw the film Friday at the Fox Lot -- this review is dead on - very dissapointed - wanted to love it -- but didn't

  • July 21, 2008, 11:18 p.m. CST

    at least they made a sequel while Scully is still hot

    by hamster factor

    other than that this is a pointless movie. But at least Gillian Anderson can still remind me of why I kept rewinding the scene of her in her underwear in the pilot back in 93. She is like the anti Hillary - she made pant suits look sexy as hell

  • July 21, 2008, 11:18 p.m. CST

    at least they made a sequel while Scully is still hot

    by hamster factor

    other than that this is a pointless movie. But at least Gillian Anderson can still remind me of why I kept rewinding the scene of her in her underwear in the pilot back in 93. She is like the anti Hillary - she made pant suits look sexy as hell

  • July 21, 2008, 11:19 p.m. CST

    at least they made a sequel while Scully is still hot

    by hamster factor

    other than that this is a pointless movie. But at least Gillian Anderson can still remind me of why I kept rewinding the scene of her in her underwear in the pilot back in 93. She is like the anti Hillary - she made pant suits look sexy as hell

  • July 21, 2008, 11:22 p.m. CST

    at least they made a sequel while Scully is still hot

    by hamster factor

    other than that this is a pointless movie. But at least Gillian Anderson can still remind me of why I kept rewinding the scene of her in her underwear in the pilot back in 93. She is like the anti Hillary - she made pant suits look sexy as hell

  • July 21, 2008, 11:23 p.m. CST

    FYI I submiited that comment ONCE...

    by hamster factor

    ....pretty messed up

  • July 21, 2008, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Scriptgirl's catchphrase...

    by Gilkuliehe

    Is awesome. It's the best one out there, seriously. So go to hell, Pondscum. And this has nothing to do with the fact that she has breasts. I swear. <p> Oh and Latauro, I agree with this review, except with that "X-files is camp" crap. The episode with Peter Boyle is fucking amazing. (That metaphor bit made me laugh though, so peace)

  • July 21, 2008, 11:56 p.m. CST

    You guys realise ScriptGirl is basically just a hired actor

    by Greenflame0

    No offence against AICN readers who are big ScriptGirl fans, but do you realise she's very likely a hired actor (not a script analysis expert) whose paid to read those weekly podcasts that are probably written by a guy, as the site's domain is owned by a guy.

  • July 22, 2008, 12:17 a.m. CST

    Am I the only one...

    by sidburnd1

    who thinks the priest looks like a poor man's john cleese?!

  • July 22, 2008, 12:20 a.m. CST

    Greenflame0

    by Gilkuliehe

    I want to believe.

  • July 22, 2008, 12:52 a.m. CST

    Insurrection was a disaster

    by RosebudsStarfish

    I'll buy you a case of beer to hear this laughable explanation. Out of 10 Trek movies, the worldwide gross of Insurrection ranks as #5...so, epic fail on it being sucessful on the money making side. Maybe it's the most sucessful based on gross receipts vs budget...hmm....nope. It ranks 9th out of the 10 movies there. Matter of fact, Insurrection and Nemesis are the only two movies that didnt earn back at least twice their budgets. If you look at successful in terms of Trek movies that have the most actors who starred in both Amadeus and Scarface, then Insurrection is the clear winner.

  • July 22, 2008, 1:20 a.m. CST

    Dogget was a good character...

    by JKrow21

    Still wasn't no Mulder.

  • July 22, 2008, 2:44 a.m. CST

    60% on RT

    by LT

    and some great reviews from people who actually have brains. I'm so laughing at you, fanboys.

  • July 22, 2008, 2:58 a.m. CST

    Vanderlay

    by half vader

    You obviously have no idea that Connoly was sexually abused by his Dad. I guess this role is some sort of catharsis for him. <p> And fuck all you idiot BC haters. He was awesome in Fido, and Trinity was hot.

  • July 22, 2008, 3:53 a.m. CST

    smackfu

    by bender7

    Latauro is Australian. Meaning he uses 'English' english - not 'US' English (AKA made up english). Paedophile is the right'English' spelling. It's correct spelling, not arrogance

  • July 22, 2008, 4:04 a.m. CST

    Scriptgirl00 change your handle. It's getting droopy.

    by half vader

    "ScriptgirlOO". See? There you go!

  • July 22, 2008, 6:16 a.m. CST

    X FILES 3: WE'RE SORRY

    by LaserPants

    Working title for part 3.

  • July 22, 2008, 6:19 a.m. CST

    X FILES 4: WHO ELSE IS GOING TO HIRE DUCHOVNY?

    by LaserPants

    Who?! Thats the real mystery.

  • July 22, 2008, 6:20 a.m. CST

    XFILES 5: THERE ARE STILL 2 OR 3 FANS LEFT

    by LaserPants

    Single women in their 50s?

  • July 22, 2008, 6:22 a.m. CST

    XFILES 6: WE JUMPED THE NUKED SHARK FRIDGE YEARS AGO

    by LaserPants

    We made this on hand held camera for under $5.

  • July 22, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    Oh dear. :(

    by raw_bean

    I *was* looking forward to this, but only because it's X-Files, nothing in the trailers or anything grabbed my interest. And Latauro's opinions usually agree with mine, so colour me disappointed.

  • July 22, 2008, 6:57 a.m. CST

    More reviews

    by Jonah Echo

    It's right down the middle now, but I actually am liking what I'm hearing on this, even the negatives. It sounds like a melding of Millenium and X-Files and honestly that suits me fine. We won't get slimy monsters this time, but I never expected that. It sounds compelling to me. <p> http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/x_files_2/

  • July 22, 2008, 7:25 a.m. CST

    smackfu

    by Lost Jarv

    it isn't that PAedophile is antiquated. It's that the us spelling is moronic. Also it's pronounced in many other English speaking countries as Pee-Doh-file. Not ped-oh-file. <P>Especially when you think that it is from the...... <P>*trails off in boredom*

  • July 22, 2008, 7:28 a.m. CST

    Pondscum

    by Mavra Chang

    Hold on for a minute. I need to tell you something!

  • July 22, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    Been trying to catch you here this morning...

    by Mavra Chang

    Go to SG's Myspace. Look under the Myspace of Script Gal and read the posts of Nov-Dec. It's SG's and DiMuccio's own words. Then go to SG's post to Christian (was the newest one a bit ago) and read what she said to him about our AICN postings. It should interest you very much.

  • July 22, 2008, 7:35 a.m. CST

    what did she say Mavra Chang

    by ingloriousjedi

    Is it her posting here? If it was she would have a black box I'm guessing..

  • July 22, 2008, 7:36 a.m. CST

    This is funny

    by Mavra Chang

    Give me a moment to write it down.

  • July 22, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    ok

    by ingloriousjedi

  • July 22, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    I'm pretty sure the one here is a fake, but anyway

    by Mavra Chang

    SG posted a response to a fan named Christian claiming that she has been romatically linked to her cousin (by us, I presume). However, if one reads the messages she and DiMuccio wrote to ScriptGal late last year, they both say that they are involved with each other in a non-relative way.

  • July 22, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    I wanted to get it out before it vanished

    by Mavra Chang

    Those Myspace postings have a way of disappearing or becoming private when too much interest is shown in them.

  • July 22, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Looks shite..

    by DiamondJoe

    ..and can't see it being anything other than shite considering the first film was complete crap and the series totally jumped in its last few years. Having said that the comment regarding Insurrection renders the opinion of the reviewer null and void - it is a truth universally acknowledged that Insurrection is a supreme piece of shit.

  • July 22, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    I wanted to let you know...

    by Mavra Chang

    The cousin thing may be a comeback to downplay our discussions. Now you can see their own words while they are still up for public viewing. I won't be here next Saturday, so I was giving you the heads up today.

  • July 22, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Script Gal is just a bystander, I believe

    by Mavra Chang

    She's another scriptwiter and I don't think she is further involved than that.

  • July 22, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Pondscum.

    by Mavra Chang

    Good thing you can read between the lines of my lousy typing this morning!

  • July 22, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Don't know if it was mentioned above..

    by Jonah Echo

    but the choice of role for Billy Connolly isn't necessarily that strange. It seems the story will deal with a priest attempting to repent of the pedophillia(I assume). Billy was sexually abused by his father for many years, something like five or six, if I recall. Taking a role of this nature might be tied to that. Or not. But it might well be more personal than not, and if so, than it's likely Billy isn't involved in some asinine stereotypical portrayal and it most certainly won't be a camp monster chase, but then X-Files was rarely ever that.

  • July 22, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Understood.

    by Mavra Chang

    Thanks!

  • July 22, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    yes, but

    by Dijjot

    did they end it with Mulder dying from auto erotic asphyxiation?

  • July 22, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    X FILES 2: we want aliens, not alaskan werewolves or connolly

    by ironic_name

  • July 22, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Jack Colby

    by REDD

    Yeah, thanks, we (or I) figured that out (see my post about Wikipedia).

  • July 22, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    No News is usually...

    by Lauryn2000

    Bad news..even the commercial spots look sorry.It's funny because it doesn't seem like there's alot of buzz for this movie.Unlike the first movie,where they having a X-Files con(vention) type,in the major cities.I went to the DC one,the hype was out of this world.Unlike this one...

  • July 22, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    why no spoiler tags?

    by ArcadianDS

    Seems to me the death of Jesus Mulder would be a pretty big reveal. This is why reviews from idiots on the internet shouldn't be cut and pasted. An actual EDITOR should consider EDITING them. Y'know - like they have on other movie websites?

  • July 22, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Pedophile priest, eh?

    by rev_skarekroe

    So you're saying it's a romance?

  • July 22, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    So much hate for Carter. But he created MILLENIUM!

    by DerLanghaarige

    One of the greatest shows EVER!

  • July 22, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    This rpassive-aggressive eview

    by LT

    and the idiotic responses to it - that's the real hoax.

  • July 22, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Yes, he created MillenniuM

    by hank henshaw

    but he also managed to screw it up too.

  • July 22, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    MovieNet review says it's 4.5 out of 5

    by batfunk

    Hopefully, Latauro's review of 'X-Files – I Want To Believe' is a hoax. I found this alternative review (see below) on Australia's MovieHole.net (http://www.moviehole.net/2008/07/21/the-x-files-i-want-to-believe/). I so want them to be right! (BTW – it's a shame Harry's site is so quick to print a damning review without seeing the film. I found this review on the net the same day.) All the best, Tombombadil (UK) The X-Files: I Want to Believe The curtains close. The screen goes black. Cue the Mark Snow track. Six years after they merged with the pixels in the box, the feisty sceptic and the dry-humoured believer return to the forefront of our screens – and by golly if fervent “X-Files” fans aren’t drowning in a pool of their sweat by the time they sink into their cushy cinema seats, anticipating the reintroduction of agents Mulder and Scully . “If you build it, they will come”. Series creator Chris Carter, along with actors David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, dive back into a pile of manila folders for the highly-anticipated and long-awaited (the first draft was written in 2003) sequel to television’s greatest spook-serial. And like the first “X-Files” film – “X-Files: Fight the Future” – “I want to Believe” is an epic and imposing big-screen adventure, one that extends the theme’s of the series, whilst offering something for those that don’t know their Jeffrey Spender’s from their well-manicured men. It’s been a long time between drinks for Mulder and Scully, and so admittedly their big-screen reprisal doesn’t come without risk. Not that they don’t still have an audience out there – they certainly do, you only have to do a Google to see how many “X-Files” websites and forums exist – but like an overseas tourist in the front row of a pantomime, it has to stand-up. So many TV shows-cum-films simply disintegrate due to poor structure - even the “Sex and the City” movie loses points, because it didn’t think of anyone else but those that watched the show; in this day and age, you have to! - “I Want to Believe” has been more thought out than a triple-homicide. it’s a meticulously plotted and imaginatively crafted piece of filmmaking that’s considered everyone from the get-go. First a disclaimer: I love The X-Files. Always have… probably always will. They call us ‘X-Phile’s, and we collect anything and everything bearing the ‘X’ symbol – be it a DVD collection, CD soundtrack, pencil case or T-Shirt. So yes, it’s inevitable that whatever Chris Carter and company put together I was going to enjoy … but the question is: How much would I enjoy it? And could the film work for the non-fan? For the sake of the review, I’ve locked my bias in the basement. For the film to succeed I realize it has to do more than simply have Mulder and Scully admitting to their unspoken relationship (but that would be a good start). I don’t want to touch on the plot too much – it’s best to walk in fresh, without knowing every jump, jolt and bit of dialogue back-to-front before you see the film. What I will say is that it involves a disgraced priest (Billy Connolly), “Dr” Scully (Anderson) and her reclusive beau Mulder (Duchovny) and a series of kidnappings – which, as to be expected, isn’t the doing of your usual ‘snatch and grab’ villain. Filmed in beautiful Vancouver (the sequences shot in the snow look terrific) – where the series was shot for many years before relocating to L.A – “I Want to Believe” is a much smaller film than its predecessor, but no less thrilling. In fact, the intimacy of the storyline, and the central emphasis shifting from the ‘monster-of-the-week’ to the lead characters, might be an even more affecting stratagem than the conspiracy-centric ‘Fight the Future’. Carter knows Mulder and Scully back to front – he really does. This is where the two characters would probably be six years from the series – there’s no doubting that. He’s also aware that their relationship, not just careers, would’ve changed since we last saw them – and welcomingly announces the duo as a couple from the get-go. And how could he not? The undeniable chemistry, not just between Mulder and Scully, but the actors that play them, is harder to hide than a slab of beer at an underage disco. Fans will be pleased with the number of sweeter scenes - scenes that wont leave you doubting the status of their relationship (and don’t leave before the end of the credits, as you will miss a fun little surprise that will make you smile). Anderson shines as the long suffering Scully, still equipped with the huge heart we saw in the series, but also some newly-added gusto (she has balls!). Scully feels a little more grown and developed as a character while Duchovny’s Mulder has pretty much remained stagnant – but probably by design (once a believer, always a believer). Though it’s clearly the ‘Mulder and Scully’ show – and rightfully so – Carter has assembled a terrific support cast. Amanda Peet (“Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”, “The Martian Child”) and rapper Alvin ‘Xzibit’ Joiner are the most noticeable of the new additions – she as Agent Dakota Whitney, he as Agent Mosley Drummy. Billy Connolly, as the disgraced priest Father Crissman, once again proves his versatility as an actor by taking on a role that’s about as fun as Cancer (Man). It’s also quite an accomplishment for an actor to play such a dislikeable character and yet not be seen ostensibly evil in the audience’s eyes. Fans of the show will love it – there’s lot of in-jokes, cameos, and, of course, some surprises in store story-wise! – And I don’t see those off the street having a problem with the flick either. They’ll be sure to be drawn into the thrilling plotline and won’t feel too much of an alien in this unfamiliar terrain - anything they need to know can be explained in an easy sentence (Previous knowledge is not required as much here as it was in the previous film “Fight the Future” – it really is a great stand-alone piece) Yes, the overall ‘X-File’ of the plot is a little wacky – they probably could’ve toned it back a bit, and it still would’ve worked just as well – and Duchovny is constantly overshadowed by Anderson (and no again fault of his, it’s merely the fact that the writers have chosen to evolve the character of Scully – more so Mulder; and that’s probably been the intention since day one) and devoid of a lot new to do, but they’re merely tiny holes in a grand ship – steered in style by the masterful Chris Carter and long-time cohort Frank Spotnitz. “The X-Files: I Want to Believe” isn’t just a love letter to X-Philes, it’s a tremendous film in it’s own right – in fact, it might be just be the best film of the year! Believe it! Our Score: 4.5 out of 5

  • July 22, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Pondscum is right on target

    by thegreatwhatzit

    Scriptgirl and her cellar-dweller ally have been exposed for their fraudulence. Sure, some repressed fanboys--all appendages of the Norman Bates litany--will rhapsodize about her boobs (heaven forbid they should address a woman in real life; guys, ALL women are heirs to tits). But the facade is over, thanks to vigilance of Pondscum and other talkbackers who were just tired of the bullshit. "Jackvance" has been exposed as a hack whose pathetic track record would exorcise the presence of any respectable woman (trademark line: "You want fries with that?"). Anyway, I'm sorry that the latest X-FILES is a disappointment; it'll be on DVD in a few weeks with the "provocative alternate ending" (worst abuser of this cliche was SHUTTER--the "shocking alternate ending" was a few seconds of a woman, departing from a mental ward, which was added to the original ending. By the way, the film sucked).

  • July 22, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    The Truth Stopped being out there for me a long time ago

    by Elorna

    When I heard about this film, I expected it would be crap and from the reviews leaking out, apparently I was right. It sounds like they pulled out an unused script and rewrote it for the big screen and decided to appeal to the Grey's Anatomy fan base by romanticizing the show.

  • July 22, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    You think X-Files is camp? Latauro, you're a fucking idiot.

    by Vulcan Deathgrip Productions

    X-files is not camp. The old Batman series with Adam West, that was camp. Morons like this guy shouldn't be allowed to write for this site. It really makes you guys look dumb.

  • That's whats being said according to the some of the reviews leaking out. What a rip-off.

  • July 22, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Elorna

    by optimus122

    Thats total BS , the whole point of the movie is to focus on Mulder and Scully. Thats why they left out some of the original cast. No way do they first appear after half the movie is already over lmao.

  • July 22, 2008, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Once again...

    by Sledge Hammer

    Laturo proves himself to be a sub-hercules type moron. Then again, for one of the worst, and most self serving wannabe writers on the site, that's hardly news, now is it?

  • July 22, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    mulder and scully investigating a corrupt government

    by ironic_name

    would be a lil too documentary.

  • July 22, 2008, 6:05 p.m. CST

    Elorna and KOTCS

    by YND

    That's not the case. Scully's there very early and Mulder follows close behind. I think they screwed up on a lot of things with this one, but at least the didn't scrimp on the M&S.<p>And to angry Kingdom of the Blah Blah Blah, have you seen the film? You're talking like you have, but I haven't seen you state that. I've seen the film and was really hoping it would work. Hell, I hope it makes enough money that they can try to get it right again without the timeline of the writers' strike cutting them off at the knees. But to say that anyone offering a negative opinion of the film is being dishonest is just plain wrong. I hope people like it, but as a big X FILES fan, I was really disappointed.

  • July 22, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Aw, sheeit

    by BizarroJerry

    I hope this movie isn't bad. *sigh* And, is it not terribly uncreative these days that any priest seen in a movie or TV show now is a pedophile character? Be original, people.

  • July 23, 2008, 4:40 a.m. CST

    KOTCS Guy - He's seen it.

    by YND

    He's seen it. I just re-read the review. It's pretty poorly-written and misinformed (Scully and Mulder's baby isn't dead, unless I missed that episode. They gave it away. The film references that they miss their son, but never says he's dead, though I see how someone could get that.) And it DOES come across like he's got a bias against the show from the outset, no matter how much he claims otherwise... but he's seen it.<p>He doesn't go into spoilers, as its clear the filmmakers have wanted to keep them under wraps (though you spill the beans about pretty much the whole thing in your most recent post without so much as a spoiler warning, dude), but the moments he discusses -- Xzibit feeling pretty damned out-of-place, the awkwardness of Scully's subplot, the victims-of-pedophiles-are-evil subtext and specifically the moment he refers to as the "worst moment of direction" he's seen this year (I didn't care for it either, though for some reason it played REALLY well to the crowd I saw it with) -- are all pretty much on the money.<p>I don't know Latauro's history, other than that he's been reviewing on AICN for quite some time. You say that he's been caught fabricating reviews before? Can you point me to an example? Why does the site still print him if this is a fact? Anyway, no matter what his history is, it sure sounds like he's seen the film to me.<p>And as I asked you before, have YOU seen the film? If yes, where's your review? If no, I think you've just demonstrated that divulging lots of plot information doesn't necessarily prove squat.

  • July 23, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    That's great!

    by ScottinDC

    YND, you haven't seen the movie. Just admit it.

  • July 23, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    I was already nervous about this movie, but..

    by whofan71

    ..can we really take seriously a review by someone who was a kid when the show was in it's hayday, liked the last couple of seasons, and who liked Insurection?

  • July 23, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    X-Files X: Suck It, LaserPants

    by www.valiens.com

    Have you seen Californication? - Duchovney doesn't need work.

  • July 23, 2008, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Whatever

    by YND

    Wow, not sure how I "exposed" myself as not having seen it, but when Scully and Mulder are laying under some pretty distracting bedsheets...<p>when Mulder finds a Medic Alert bracelet in the snow at the site of the crash...<p>when the priest tells Scully that he's already taken it up with a higher power...<p>when Leoben drives a snow plow...<p>when Billy Connolly watches The Jeffersons...<p>when the death of a major character includes one split-second shot that looks like an unfinished effect from the late 90s...<p>when the guy who played the hypnotist in "Jose Chung's From Outer Space" shows up as one of the Russian doctors...<p>when Amanda Peet asks Mulder why he has toilet paper on his face...<p>when Scully sees the pencils in the ceiling...<p>when Mulder has to go out to the woodshed...<p>do I need to go on?<p>When you see all those things this weekend, you just keep reassuring yourself about my destroyed integrity. Bye now.

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