Cool News
Jason Embiggened!!!
Merrick here...
Last Friday, we got our first glimpse of Jason as he appeared in the new FRIDAY THE 13th film (the image ca,e from the current Entertainment Weekly). The shot shows Jason from a considerable distance & it's hard to make out any details.
In our initial posting about the image (HERE), I encouraged readers to take a stab at enlarging the image with whatever digitalish photo-trickery they had at their disposal. After all, a chance to get a glimpse of a newly Bayified 80's mass murdering pop icon was too good to pass up. We received many attempts at image enhancement & I truly appreciate the time and effort folks extended in this regard.
Alas, to a significant degree, the ability to enlarge an image is only as good as the resolution of the source image...and the "new Jason" pic that hit the nets Friday was of neither the highest resolution or best quality. As such, many the enlargements we received were never quite "there" in terms of being able to adequately distinguish details and what not.
However, a reader named J.J. Jeepers sent in this image late Friday afternoon.
We got this at roughly the same that Shock Till You Drop posted an enlargement of the same material, so I'm not sure how all of this went down chronologically. Whatever happened, you can still go to Shock Till You Drop for an even embiggender version of this pic by clicking HERE.
Thanks to everyone who worked to bring us a better image of Jason...including the Shock Till You Drop folks...and here's a clear & respectable shot of Jason from Nispel's FRIDAY THE 13th relaunch for your consideration:
Yes, all of this should've been dealt with over the weekend. I was experiencing MARATHON MAN-level dental pain that wasn't adequately alleviated until late last night.
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+ Expand All
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Yeehaa !!!!
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He's no Michael
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Poor Jason. I don't think he has too many friends.
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from the Terminator Salvation trailer ht
tp://io9.com/5026133/a-closer-look-at-our-robot-foes-of-terminator-4-and-mcgs-t+600 -
"Michael" takes too long to type
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Not as Abercrombie and Fitch-y as we had originally thought from the smaller image.
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he looks EXACTLY like everyone expected!!!!
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He needs viagra
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But it's easy to be bored when you're immortal, unstoppable and even the final girls can't elude you anymore.
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cause no one wears that type/model since the 80's huh? Plus...that's really Jason's *mom* isn't it?
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sorry but they didnt get the colors right at all...
and its not supposed to look 'cool' either... -
there's a scene where he breaks into a retro sports store, kills the cashier and steals the mask from there. or least, i expect something like that because Platnum Dunes have shown they like giving us the "why" in their remakes.
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I swear to God (or to Blog, whatever) that if you stand up and move in front of your screen it feels as if he looks straight at you, no matter the angle - like in those weird mid-20th century paintings, only this time without eyeballs. Is Michael Bay the Jackson Pollock of the figurative, hamfisted filmmaking?
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His neck is friggin huge
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The worst kind of pain imaginable.
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Grissom had his ethnic Asian dude use the magic CSI embiggener computer!
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They put him in raggidy clothes and a hockey mask. What a breakthrough in the character up to this point.
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..and the world was experiencing THE DARK KNIGHT craze.. so it's ok to leave some things for after the weekend ;)
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When they're enlarging the picture until it's the size of the room.
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I would like it if there were 2 separate parallel sequel sets going. A sequel stream in the future (Jason X, Jason X2, Jason X3), and a sequel stream in the past (F13th 1, 2, etc). That would briefly entertain me.
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lol. I can't CSI. It's like little mini-episodes of Die Hard 4. Bones, too, for that matter. That said, Genuine Fractals does a pretty damn impressive job enlarging smaller images. Still nothing like the CSI computers that can magically rotate 2D images as if they were 3D scenes in Maya.
Also, Jason doesn't look nearly beastly enough. I also think there ought to be more raw brutality in a Friday the 13th remake. You know, Jason breaking arms and legs and shit with his bare hands. Quick deaths and decapitations don't resonate with audiences like they used to. You have to make the characters suffer some horrific abuse before dispatching them. -
Haemmoroids while being trapped in a broken elevator with five predatory gay Steve Guttenberg impersonators.
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...no offence intended, my friends.
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Because they don't make hockey masks like that anymore.
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Jul 21, 2008 12:15:22 PM CDT
Let's see.. big dude, deformed, hockey mask, check, check, and c
by zombieflicker
Oh yeah. Old tore up, messy clothing, check. This looks like another Friday the 13th alright. Can you say 12 million total at the box office?
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This movie can work better than Halloween which was so terrible I was so pissed at Rob Zombie and any future children he may have.
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This shit is coming out on Valentine's Day. So you know it will be number 1 with a lot of money made. TCM made money, with a good trailer and marketing, this shit will make a killing.
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Just got off the phone with The Bay: he wants to remake your idea.
Soundtrack by White Zombie. -
'They don't use those anymore?' Come on, did you expect him to have a new modern with, complete with his own custom paintjob? Really grasping at straws here negs. It's impossible to make everyone happy, if they had changed it this would be filled with FLAMES ON NIPPLES jokes, instead we're going to get outdated hockey mask jokes with a mix of 'Damn you Michael Bay'
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. . . and understand pretty much every AICN in-joke. But what the hell is the "take a shit mask?" I know that it has to do w/ Zombie's Halloween remake but that's it.
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I'm the Batman.
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They spend their days watching and re-watching The Birds, commenting how the bird attack scenes will be so much more believable with CGI birds, and the farmer with the pecked out eyes would have more impact with grue and tendons hanging from the sockets. Hell, its all too vague, also. Audiences will demand an explanation. The birds can become infected with toxic waste that's being dumped into the water system, making the movie eco-conscious. Not only that the infected birds can mutate to have super-strength, to peck through steel and concrete..hell, have one fly though a victims body at super-speed.I better stop, before they start taking notes.
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and nobody has complained about Kane Hodder not playing Jason yet? wow people really dont care much about this remake do they?
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isnt that a scene from Resident Evil Apocalypse, with the super zombie crows? That was the coolest scene in that movie!
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A pic of a guy in a hockey mask. Fuck, I am impressed Hollywood! Way to go! I mean, this is the biggest news in the whole world.
Wake me when this bullshit farce is over. Is there any REAL entertainment news happening today????
Micheal Bay, you're still regurgitated pig vomit. -
I don't know about that, but there were a lot of GCI crows flying about.
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I didn't notice that... I was just referring to drastic changes, ie: if it were suddenly covered in flames with nipples.
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Is that a Run DMC jacket?
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Jul 21, 2008 1:56:28 PM CDT
That should satisfy the legions of fans who demanded a remake...
by alonzo mosely
Oh wait, nobody demanded a fucking remake. Absolutely. Nobody. And it will make shitty money and all the inital negative reviews on this site will be accompanied by brand new talkbabck posters asking us 'What do you expect, Shakespeare? It's a slasher movie. I saw it, and it was loads of fun. Stop being so boring, go see the movie and have you own opinion. Damn.".
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Which translates into: meh.
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that ugly Terminator bitch could use a machette and a gotta shit mask, for sure. And I'm saying that in a good way.
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...a new look for Mr. Vorhees. Nothing to drastic, but somthing...and I figured if anyone, Bay would be the one to do it. I guess this is what happens when all the fan-boys (myself included) loose their shit over some stupid flames on Optimus Prime. Now Bay (and probably others) are reluctant to take some liberties with a character that actually needs a fresh perspective.
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No hellbilly long hair for Jason? No outrageously huge, Sabretooth-like physique? No truckers shitting tacos in a men's room stall? Will Pam Voorhees be a single mother dancing at a go-go club? No?Good.
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the hockey mask WAS a new look for Jason, who wore a sack / pillowcase over his head in the second movie.
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....and I for one think that going back to the sack/pillowcase would actually be pretty cool. A nice homage to the orignal (er, second) movie, but something different. Granted, the hockey mask was iconic after the third movie, but now it just seems almost too cliche, even though F13 was the movie that coined the cliche.
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...I'm going to get shit from the die-hards here on my F13 time-line, but wan't there a movie where Jason was just a deformed/retarded looking kid...no mask or anything. When was that? #3? Did the mask show up in the end of that one? And Crispen Glover was in one of them....shit, now I gonna have to get the box set!
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And all the nerds will be happy.
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Michael Bay confirmed it. He gets the hockey mask midway through the movie.
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Bird flying through somebody at supersonic speeds..I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I can see them trying that.
It reminds me of the time someone said that a remake of the birds would have PeeWee Herman riding along Tippy's boat singing 'The bird is the word...'
Good times... -
As long as it isn't the Mask from that Jim Carrey movie. Then Jason's eyes would bug out when he gets his first look at the double-d sized actress they have swimming in the lake.
He can even get his head to turn into the wolf image and do the whistle.
Then he goes back to normal and slices her in half. -
i need one.
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This is going to suck. By the way, can I have the job of cutting & pasting shit from Entertainment Weekly and putting in on this site? I'm qualified as I have opposable thumbs, eyesight and a pulse. No reviewing, no getting scoops, just going through EW and cutting & pasting articles & pictures all day long. Beats working for a living.
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Kind of wrap up several different origins (Mask, mother, etc.) in the span of the movie? I would like to see what they do to the Jason mythos, having been a fan of originals.
I just hope the gore and nudity is dailed up.
Way up. -
The point of seeing a picture of the new Jason isn't to wow you, it's simply to show you (aka reassure you) that Bay & Co aren't trying to bring you a new updated Mountain Dew Xtreme Jason, they're sticking to the source material, a big dirty guy in a hockey mask wondering if it's his birthday.
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People's been doin' bad to Jason, but one day he finds a hockey mask and karma comes around for them!
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I am a fan of the series up until 7, eventhough I have seen the others that followed. I can tell you who died how and in what part sadly. I'm not offended by this remake, because I don't let nostalgia kid me into thinking that these films are classics. Halloween was a classic that didn't need to be remade. That story was scary, effective, and simple. It didn't need a backstory. With Jason, his motives were always cloudy in a bad way. It would be cool to see them start over, and base Jason in a more grittier, realer, pre-New Beginning sort of way. But have it that it makes sense. And with Nispel helming, I am holding out hope that it will be a fun movie. I heard the nudity and gore is pretty crazy too. Which I don't care too much about. but at the same time, at least I know it's not PG13. Also like the story I heard about Jason being smarter, and how he kidnaps someone and uses them as bait.
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Also if you are swimming and see this dude in the distance watching you, you are going to get scared and run. The way the picture was angled was good.
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The Abercrombie and Fitch Chainsaw Nightmare.
After watching the trailer for that I sort of got my hopes up. But once I saw it in the theater, It felt a little flat. I enjoyed the gore and such, but left sort of feeling let down by what could have been.
It did have that one good shot of the girl in the van who ventilated her head. -
That movie was fucking bleak. I think the only reason it didn't work was because midway through the movie you know everyone dies. The remake was good. Music Video looks and all. It reminded me of Leatherface: TCM 3. Same style visually.
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It's hard to decide between squeezing that guy's head until his eye popped out or the girl in the sleeping bag slung into the tree.
Agree with Mr. Profit in laying out a little groundwork for Jason's character. Maybe flesh out his past from attacking girl in boat at the end of part one and living in the woods in part two. -
that just rolled out of bed.
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Friday the 13th movies have always been incredibly lame
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with no backstory, he just shows up killing teens for no reason, then I might like it.
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Im even prouder of this than the time i gave that girl a "donkeypunch" in college !!
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At 4 we have Temporo-mandibular joint pain (jawache) at three we have pain of dental origin at 2 we have childbirth and surprisingly for all the people who havent suffered from it is a prolapsed (slipped) disc. Women feel free to disagree at any time......if there are any on this thread......
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Bring back Kane Hodder. Nuff said.
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We'll finally get to see Jason blow some shit up!!
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again why they're remaking this movie? Anyone? Anyone?
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If so, I am not sure I like the direction they are taking this.
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jackass
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Jul 21, 2008 7:11:06 PM CDT
Jason says: "Dude. Killing's like getting boring and stuff."
by puddleglum
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Jul 21, 2008 7:11:30 PM CDT
Jason says: "Dude, I could SO go for White Castle right now."
by puddleglum
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Jul 21, 2008 7:12:19 PM CDT
Jason says: "Dude, I can't believe I decided to WALK to Comic Co
by puddleglum
It's, like, so far. And stuff.
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Jul 21, 2008 7:15:21 PM CDT
Jason says: "Duuude, I'm not waiting around all day for BSB."
by puddleglum
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Jul 21, 2008 7:16:12 PM CDT
Jason says: "Dude, let me know if you see a naked chick, k?"
by puddleglum
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Jul 21, 2008 7:18:28 PM CDT
Jason says: "Duude, if my mom tells me one more time to change c
by puddleglum
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Jul 21, 2008 7:19:18 PM CDT
Jason says: "Dude, you're, like, all swimming in MY lake!"
by puddleglum
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Jul 21, 2008 7:23:34 PM CDT
Jason says: "Dude. I don't think you're in Kansas anymore."
by puddleglum
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shaw!
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how is this going to be different from any other Friday the 13th movie? Fine, we'll get the backstory re-told, then it's the same old shit.
Really, this is beyond pointless. -
Petulant Jason Vorhees makes me snigger: "Dude, you're, like, all swimming in MY lake!"
Thanks. -
Jul 21, 2008 11:49:58 PM CDT
"Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and why we're all chained to the chair
by yaw
Big Question: I rarely watch contemporary horror films anymore. (Though "Session 9" is as much a classic for me as is "The Innocents;" and though more of a psychological thriller than real terror, was really impressed by "The Others," especially the resolution of deciding to become 'angry ghosts.')
My question is this: was "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" worth it? As much is it is a masterpiece and Leatherface's slamming back that seemingly innocuous metal like a butcher with a busy schedule is one of the definitive moments in film of looking down into the maw of hell (knowing about the door makes it so much more horrific), why watch it? What is the purpose? Especially in light of all the desensitizing heaps of flesh and hate populating screens; I know that it is not a kind world but can not the problems and situations of Texas Chainsaw Massacre been discussed in any manner? And another important question that lingers with me: what is it about the tone of Texas that distances itself from all the other mutilation horror films; what is it specific about Texas's nightmare? I am not trying to put value judgements on these things but I would like to hear from others, especially if they've dealt with the same questions of "How far is too far - for the sake of cinema?" -
And I know that numbness is sometimes needed; paramedics need it for steadiness and cops need it for judgement (as long as they aren't adrenaline heads). And we all often rely upon a superficial callousness to cope with the brutal and confusion condition of our world and existence; but what of the man or woman who is merely a watcher, whose absorption has no outlet or no controlling factor, is merely idle and pooling somewhere... And if the violence on the screen means nothing, why the fuck watch it? Why watch something meaningless? That argument of flippancy rings hollow for me and has no merit because it is merely dismissive in my opinion. I remember when my father had to quite volunteer emergency work; the deciding factor that it was all too much to take, now that he had children and had seen too much and could no longer focus. I think catharsis IS good; but aren't there reactions to these films that ARE NOT cathartic? For all the current talk of Terminator 2 being "too human" (ie, whiney), are we merely strapping ourselves to a chair for a rush that subsides until the next one comes along? Is that all movie watching is? It is a question I ask myself often. And I feel that there are those of you here who too ask this question; it is not an easy one for me. I am curious of how it is reconciled in your own life. I appreciate this community, as damn peculiar and disconcerting as it can be at times.
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Damn, i was hoping for some news about Eight Below 2: Bitches In Heat. Misleading subject headings suck!!
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he's great. jason is the best horror icon!
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What the fuck is that?
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And yet, I'd be fine if it was just another sequel. Why call it a remake and then remake part 3? Stupid fucking shit.
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This new Jason film would have been a perfect opportunity for Warwick Davis, and I think an all little person Friday The 13th hack-and-slash-a-thon is exactly what the world needs right now.Embiggened, indeed. What crazy Jason needed was to be ensmallened! Ensmallened, and with an appropriately sized machete, much like Yoda's kiddy meal lightsabre. Also, all the sluts he kills should be little sluts. That small whore from Total Recall would be perfect for this. Let her get fucked, smoke a little weed, then cut her head off or possibly impail her on a very small harpoon.This new film is going to be boring. And who wants another boring Friday The 13th adventure. Not me.
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Why the hell couldn't they make this one about Jennifer Vorhees, Jason's female but equally undead and nuts sibling. Let her run amok at Crystal Lake, slashing the crap out of teenage guys who are into beer bongs and American 'football', and date rape and whatnot. That is a slasher film I would like to see.Cut his fucking dick off!
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Obviously, I do not approve of humorously creative violence in the real world, but I would enjoy the chance to be a unfeeling undead killer in a film.Wouldn't everyone like to see a film in which Franklin T Vorhees charges around Bristol city centre, hacking the arms of everyone who is walking and texting and not looking where they're fucking going? There's a tonne of drunk sluts here, too, they all come out at night and wear clothes that are far too small for our cool evenings. Movie me would love to cut all their heads off and that.
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to get a job as a camp counselor and spend your free time having casual sex and experimenting with drugs again.
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Featuring exploding machete. Or better yet, Jason uses sticks of old dynamite.
Impales victim..lights fuse..Bam!
Jason just stands there as entrails and smoking hair fly everywhere. -
Victim's jump in Toyota Prius and try to speed away.
Jason comes flying out of the woods in a Helicopter with machete blades instead of regular ones.
Prius and sexually active teens chewed alive by Jason's copter.
Jason gets Friends of OPEC award. End scene. -
Shown pumping iron in dusty old shed..
Camp instructors arrive and start fucking as soon as they get out of the car.
Jason pauses mid-curl and turns away from the mirror (which reveals rock-hard abs and tattoo of mother). He hears the bumping of uglies and smells the stench of tuna.
The shed door flies open and Jason is driving a 2010 Chevrolet Camaro with bright yellow paint job and Chevy logos fully visible.
Counselers stop banging long enough to get back in their 2010 Caddilac Escalade and a dramatic chase ensues around Crystal Lake.
Counselers throw dynamite at Jason as he dodges the explosions.
The camera pans to his foot tramping down on the gas as he whips out a 10-foot machete through his window.
Kids are beheaded in a hellish explosion and Caddy is torn in half.
Camera pans around Jason as he steps out of the car and cocks head like RCA dog. -
The two black characters scream "Awww, hell naw!" as Camaro breaks through the bushes.
Right before the ten-foot machete blade hits, they grab hands..."We ride together, we die together..." -
What's with all the no-neck guys being cast as villains these days? Guys like Freddy Krueger managed to be good villains without steroids. These days we may as well have a film with Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa beating people with bats and trading worsening one liners.
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Im going to be pissed....ah, who am I kidding? Im not going to sit through this crap. I tried watching Zombies Halloween in a friends house last week, laughed at his evil step dad and the rest of the first 40 minutes, groaned for the next twenty and then begged him to turn the thing off...this is a man who sat through "Simon Says" with Crispin Glover and Margo Harshamn for no other eason other than too annoy everyone else in the room by not changing the channel, and I couldnt stomach Zombies Halloween. And I wouldnt even turn my head slightly to one side if this was on an IMAX screen right next to my bed, offering me a free meatball marinara from Subway.
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He pulls it out like Jack Nicholson's Joker did with that pistol in Batman'89.
He takes a big crow hop and swings for the fences, cutting through sexually active teens and any objects that might be in the area of mentioned sexually active teen.
What would Jason do if he met a virgin that refused to do drugs?
Would this cause him to lock up with confusion? Head stuck in the side position as wonders what the hell to do with her. -
I forgot about Bay wanting to give a backstory. I'm sure it will just dandy too.
Jason is a mid-level meth and weed dealer who isn't quite rish enough to buy off the local Crystal Lake cops.
This frustration has caused him to dip into his own stash, thus breaking the first rule of dealers.
This extreme paranoia causes him slaughter drug-needing teens instead of selling to them, which would give him enough money to buy off the cops.
It's a viscious circle....
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Jul 22, 2008 9:43:50 AM CDT
if a knife in the eye and and axe in the head don't kill you
by ironic_name
then the people he killed should be alive. cartoon physics ftl.
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I always wondered that. It was like they decided to give him super-human powers in the middle of the movie.
Of course the crowds that went to see it probably didn't care, but I always wanted to know. -
was when he grabbed that girl in the sleeping back and slammed her against a tree four or five times. I think that was in Part VI or VII. Even without showing much blood, the kill was violent enough that on the DVD version they reduced it to a single tree-slam.
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and the head squeeze with the eye popping out, but I just remembered when the boxer guy was working Jason over on the roof in Manhattan.
The guy gets tired and says 'Give me your best shot.'
Cuts to scene of guy on the ground and a head comes flying down.
Awesome... -
of his more violent kills...I mean ones like the the one Snowcone said are pretty impressive. You wonder if a talking Jason would be down in Hell with Freddy going "aww dude, you missed this one time where I totally waaaailed on this one dude...."...I think that with most film characters though-like in LOTR when everything is done and dusted was Aragon sitting round getting pissed telling people about the battles? "there was this one time where I got stuck to a tree by my neck by a piece of wood that had a hole in it so my neck didnt get chopped off, BUT then this thing was coming at me and I juuuust got out in the nick of time,but for a second I was SCREEEEWED... you should have been there....and then this other time I lead the armies to Mordor, and we kicked some fucking ASS man".....I should really be doing something more productive with my time really.
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I can really see the dwarf Gimlee (sp?) and Legolas sitting around drunk and trying to outdo each other.
Sort of like two 40-year-olds swapping drunk college stories...
I bet Jason sits around his old shed and thinks up a new way to kill and can't wait for the next season's crop of sexually-active campers to show up. -
all these guys sitting round with awesome fighting stories and then they come in with "yeah, we walked and saw some crazy shit, but we just kinda watched"...at least Sam could say "well this time there was this MAJOR giant ass Spider...."
Jason's new years resolutions must be good-"this year, I must try to kill some guy by sticking my entire hand up his nose.... and if ever cyrogenically frozen make sure to freeze someones face in liquid nitrogen and smash it(p.s) remember to pick up 10 foot machete sharpener" -
He tosses and turns like a kid trying to sleep on Christmas Eve.
Gets out his best pair of Dickies coveralls, polishes the 10-foot machete and makes sure his mask is on straight.
Brushes his tooth as well... -
...you are too smart for this talk back. Boom....out-a-here!
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I never said I did. I just said it would be nicer if his origins were less cloudy. Part 1 was about his mom killing for revenge because he drowned. But part 2 inexplicably had Jason alive. Back in the day we all went with it because who really cared. But now it would be better if they explained the disconnect or even retcon the story a little to give it more. I know and am aware Jason is a killing machine. But killing machines aren't scary. And if Jason had an introduction like the original Michael Myers (and a lack of a real motivation) he would be scarier. But as it stands Jason isn't scary. But this pic is cool. If you are swimming and you see this dude in the distance, you will run no matter how hardcore you think you are.
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5-Rick's Head Squeeze / Eye Popping Out in Part 3
4-Paula getting cut up in the cabin in Part 6.
3-Melissa getting the axe to the face in Part 7
2-The random camper girl in the sleeping bad who is smashed against a tree in Part 7
1-Andy getting split in half with the machete as he walks on his hands in part 3 -
That was actually pretty cool the way they held the shot from below the bed.
Also forgot about when Jason breaks into that girl's kitchen and kills her with the ice pick.
He doesn't just stab her, he slowly eases it into her head. -
We know he hates when teens have sex...
How about a sad and lonely kid jerking off in the woods and crying? Does he live? -
After all, If Jason kills him then, the kid obviously won't keeping jerking off.
In which even Jason knows jerking off will make lonely kid's dick bigger and bigger. It also allows the kid to learn just when to pull out so he can give the girl longer pleasure without getting her pregnant.
So Jason allows this investment to grow into a future stud who will bring a chick to the woods and he can kill two instead of one.
Piece of cake. -
Maybe he'd even give the kid some tips?
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But yes, Jason would give him tips on pointing it away from his face when laying in bed, as when young it fires alot further and can get in your hair or worse yet, your mouth.
Also use toilet paper to clean up, as mother will find cum rag no matter where you hide it when she does laundry.
Also to wash up very good afterwards, as fellow males will recognize bleachy smell of giz and start wondering if they were the ones that forgot to wash up. -
"a sad and lonely kid jerking off in the woods and crying?" Wouldn't Jason identify with this kid? Like CCGB above, i think Jason would give him some pointers. Then, when he had built up the kid's self-confidence enough, maybe let him tag along as he romped through Crystal Lake a bit. They'd have a music montage of Jason killing campers, bringing back a severed head, and the kid laughing about it. They'd share a laugh as they snuck into the camp kitchen and jizzed in the mashed potatoes together. Eventually, Jason would use the jerk-off kid as a set up to trap other campers. The jerk-off kids would be alone crying somewhere out of the way in camp. Some a-hole counselor or campers would hear him and start making fun of him, while Jason snuck up behind and killed them! Then they'd both leave man deposits on the corpses. At the end of bay's Friday the 13th, Jason would get into one of the camper's corvette's and speed off into the distance, heading towards another camp to hack up and blaring out some "awesome" Aerosmith song.
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Lonely Kid in Woods:"Can I jerk off into that dead campers hollow eye socket again?"
Jason: "I don't know..."
Lonely Kid in Woods:" Awww C'mon, please!"
Jason:"If you're good."
Lonely Kid in the Woods: "Yaaayy!" -
In addition to a machete, Jason will have Cujo as a sidekick, drive Christine, have Jaws in Crystal Lake and have that girl from I Spit on Your Grave as a crazy ex-girlfriend.
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That's Batman's new villian! While in Arkham, the Joker sits it out as he unleashes the chaos that is Jason! Love the idea! Can't wait to see how Nolan. . . wait. Nolan isn't involve with this? The Bayformer himself has his cocaine dusted hands in this?!?! Never mind then. The Dark Knight-Rules! The Joker is my new god!
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... I lose a notch in my belt. Self-aggrandizement never felt so hollow.
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Killer her mommy! Killer her!
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