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2012 Gets Wood
Merrick here...
Looks like Woody Harrelson will soon be accosted by the mentally challenged bombast of Roland Emmerich's 2012.
his character is a sort of modern version of the Greek Cassandra, a prophet nobody believes.
“I play a guy who’s been talking for a long time, the whole world thinks he’s crazy,” Harrelson said of his character. “But he’s been talking that there’s gonna be hell to pay for what’s been going on ecologically and everything.”
...says THIS POST at MTV Movies Blog.
“I play a guy who’s been talking for a long time, the whole world thinks he’s crazy,” Harrelson said of his character. “But he’s been talking that there’s gonna be hell to pay for what’s been going on ecologically and everything.”
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right?
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Why, Woody? You're a good actor.
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Never mind, then.
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fucking retarded movie... i am a special education teacher and bet that my students could come up with a better movie than this!
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But then..so does Marilyn Manson. I feel dirty...
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You know what's worse than Hollywood remaking old films? When a director doesn't realize they're remaking their own films. Randy Quaid in ID4? Seriously, this makes the film complete now. Thanks, Roland. ::cough:: hack ::cough
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Only thing worse than this is Micheal Bay.
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The Day After The Day After Tomorrow . . . or, The Year after Next Year. Or: An Inconvenient Woody.
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Damn You Michael Bay
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Hey, in the other juggernaut of a thread regarding this flick, we started making a faux script with the same title, but not necessarily the same plot. Basically, it developed into a farce...But here's the beginning of the stuff I combined-there are tons of pieces over in the other talkback..Feel free to pile on..The basic idea is this is an outlet to poke a little fun at the whole ridiculous disaster genre.
Long opening shot of farms, cows and corn. It is a overcast day, the clouds a foreboding pinkish purple.
Superimpose: Midwestern United States 3:p.m. April 5th, 2012 Miller Time.
Cut to a cattle farm. A little boy in ill fitting overalls is running through a field towards an old, slightly antiquated farm house.
We follow his POV as he darts around the back of the house and a few old hound-dogs start to chase him about.He is carrying something in his hands, but his back is to us, and our view obscured. As he heads towards a screened in porch we see a sign out front that says “Lubnuggit Farm”
Jeremy Lubnuggit:‘Papa!” Papa!”
The dogs bark more furiously, and from within the house we hear the sound of crashing and banging, as if Snophalophagus himself is bumbling towards the door. Then a hoarse, gravely yell calls out.
Homer Lubnuggit: “Jeremy. Shut your hole! Those damn dogs are gonna tear the door off it’s hinges if you keep squalling like that.”
Homer Lubnuggit comes to the door, looking ragged and disheveled(in this role a piece of driftwood with a face painted on it and a hat, but most likely Kris Kristofferson). We see his long stringy hair first, as he stands looking out first at the boy and the darkening clouds. This clearly registers as distress on his face. His tone softens with the boy.
Homer: “What is it? What do you got there?”
POV of Homer looking at Jeremy: the boy is holding what he has behind his back. Tears are almost welling up in his eyes.
Jeremy: “Dad, is the world coming to an end?”
Homer doesn’t seem to expect this.
Homer: What the hell you talking? World ends when the good Lord says it ends. Today, it ain’t that day. Least not before you finish feeding them cows. Now show me what you got.”
POV of back of Homer as Jeremy hands over reluctantly what he found.
Homer: “Sweet Lord in a birch bark canoe!”
We then see Homer and the boy as he slowly lifts up into our view a rather large, white object. It appears to be a frozen seaturtle. It’s large, but rolled into a ball and covered in a sheet of ice. As Homer looks on in horror,he can see the turtle in the ice is still breathing. In classic Kristofferson fashion, he lurches his shaggy mane forward, and begins to bark out words.
Homer L:“Where did you find this boy?”
Jeremy L. sobbing uncontrollably now. “TUURRRTTTLLE!!!
Homer raises his eyes towards the heavens.
Homer: “Lord, it’s time isn’t it?”
Without warning and seemingly in answer to Homer’s query, hundreds of icy objects being dropping from the sky with forceful collision.
BAM! A cow is vaporized by a SmartCar sized chunk of ice. As it lands we see this is a frozen Shark. Sticking out if it’s mouth is a crusty seaman.
As the other cows begin stampeding off in a panic, they are pulverized by other gigantic balls of hail containing sea creatures. Dumbfounded, the father and son stand in awe as cow entrails rain down upon them.
And then Homer sees it. Falling rapidly. Jeremy sees it.
All there is time for is one unified gasp of “Holy Shasta!!” as the frozen Blue Whale falls and lands end over end, tearing it’s way through the crops, the barn, and then the house as Home and Jeremy fall in the wake of dark brown dust.
The words 2012 grace the screen.
And then Remy Gosovac awakes in a terrible sweat in his Hollywood penthouse, falling out of his bed and knocking out a few sleeping starlets. He lands on his back looking up at the poster on the wall.
POV of Remy: There sits a poster for The Day Canada Attacked. A REMY GOSOVAC Picture.
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If the LOTR films had a weakness, it was most definitely him.
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Interior of Hollywood penthouse: Remy Gosovac lays on the floor, rubbing his head. He stands up, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes.
He is a tall, thin man in his late 30s. German. Blonde, almost white hair, curly. He is currently wearing only a pair of Scooby Doo boxers with a distinct lipstick smear on the crotch. He looks around the darkened penthouse.
Bottles lay scattered on the floor. A petite redhead in skimpy lingerie is muttering on the floor next to the bed she just fell out of. She rolls over and falls back to sleep, her lower half protruding from under the bed.
Remy looks at all this, and paces across to the kitchenette. He is clearly shaken.
POV of the fridge: Inside only beer, bratwurst, and a jello mold shaped like the Stargate sit on the shelves. Remy grabs a beer and closes it.
He is muttering to himself, looking around for something in the pile of mess sitting on the dining room table. He finds a tablet and a pen.
Remy: “Midwest. Rednecks. Frozen turtles?” Looks up, quizzically. “This is gonna be great. But it seemed so real.”
POV: over Remy’s shoulder we see him sketching the whale falling from the heavens. Then his cell phone rings. The ring is the theme song from Thundercats.
Remy turns, stirred from his work, and answers it. A loud manic voice on the other end of the phone is screaming insistently to turn on the tv.
Remy: “Bradley? Is that you?”
The voice on the phone confirms by yelling. Bradley: “Who else would be calling you stoned at 4 in the morning. Get your Aryan a** over to the t.v. pronto.”
Remy relaxes a little. Bradley Storm is a fellow director.Remy glances up to posters on his wall of Brad's pics. The camera pans over three posters. One say's Sister Shadow, and shows a ninja nun brandishing a sword. The second, Bradley's war film from the perspective of the gun is called "Sweet M16" and the tagline reads "You can have my human when you pry me from his cold dead fingers." The third shows a man and woman back to back with guns standing on a fault line with the title "The Vibrationists." A BRADLEY STORM FILM is the largest font on the posters.
Remy turns on the tv, to CNN and there is a reporter standing next to a devastated farmhouse with the remains of what looks like a frozen whale.
Remy drops his beer.
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Interior of Hollywood penthouse: Remy Gosovac lays on the floor, rubbing his head. He stands up, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes.
He is a tall, thin man in his late 30s. German. Blonde, almost white hair, curly. He is currently wearing only a pair of Scooby Doo boxers with a distinct lipstick smear on the crotch. He looks around the darkened penthouse.
Bottles lay scattered on the floor. A petite redhead in skimpy lingerie is muttering on the floor next to the bed she just fell out of. She rolls over and falls back to sleep, her lower half protruding from under the bed.
Remy looks at all this, and paces across to the kitchenette. He is clearly shaken.
POV of the fridge: Inside only beer, bratwurst, and a jello mold shaped like the Stargate sit on the shelves. Remy grabs a beer and closes it.
He is muttering to himself, looking around for something in the pile of mess sitting on the dining room table. He finds a tablet and a pen.
Remy: “Midwest. Rednecks. Frozen turtles?” Looks up, quizzically. “This is gonna be great. But it seemed so real.”
POV: over Remy’s shoulder we see him sketching the whale falling from the heavens. Then his cell phone rings. The ring is the theme song from Thundercats.
Remy turns, stirred from his work, and answers it. A loud manic voice on the other end of the phone is screaming insistently to turn on the tv.
Remy: “Bradley? Is that you?”
The voice on the phone confirms by yelling. Bradley: “Who else would be calling you stoned at 4 in the morning. Get your Aryan a** over to the t.v. pronto.”
Remy relaxes a little. Bradley Storm is a fellow director.Remy glances up to posters on his wall of Brad's pics. The camera pans over three posters. One say's Sister Shadow, and shows a ninja nun brandishing a sword. The second, Bradley's war film from the perspective of the gun is called "Sweet M16" and the tagline reads "You can have my human when you pry me from his cold dead fingers." The third shows a man and woman back to back with guns standing on a fault line with the title "The Vibrationists."
Remy turns on the tv, to CNN and there is a reporter standing next to a devastated farmhouse with the remains of what looks like a frozen whale.
Remy drops his beer.
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He's perfect for this movie! Add Dennis Quaid, Leonardo Dicaprio, Al Gore, and Keanu Reeves, and it will be the ultimate cautionary tale.
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http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0939659/
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Which is a good thing.So, what can anyone tell me about this Wall-E business. I'm considering giving it a go this weekend, but I'm not sure. It may be I've become far too old and cynical to be entertained by a cartoon about a lovable robot. What if I don't love the lovable robot? What if I want to throw the lovable robot out the fucking window like I want to throw my video player out the fucking window every time it refuses to rewind at a reasonable speed?
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Wall-E doesnt try too hard to be lovable, but he is. I think you will love the movie. He isnt trying to be an adorable E.T. There is a larger story going on, and yet Wall-E has one singular goal-to be able to hold E.V.E's hand. He is like Chaplin's little tramp in that regard. Navigating through an epic situation and changing things but singularly focused on something simple.
It's a wonderful movie. -
I totally forgot that John Goodman and Jay Thomas were two cops that meet their demise in the diner.
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His goal is to hold a lady robot's hand? That sounds awful.I heard it had a strong satirical element to it - fat people sitting in chairs and watching telly and whatnot - that might be more up my street. Is that part good?P.S. Sorry about calling you Jonas in the other TB. I was thinking of the song My Name Is Jonas by Weezer.
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Does it still hold up? I have a good memory of it, and also of CHUD 2: Bud The Chud. Trouble is, when I go back to revisit these films I remember fondly, they often turn out to be shit.
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Jul 15, 2008 9:11:07 AM CDT
Woody's gotten to fuck some FINE-ASS women in the movies
by nasty in the pasty
Rosie Perez, Elisabeth Shue, Gina Gershon, early 90's-era Demi Moore...
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I saw the first Ghoulies again not too long back.It was shit.
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Has anyone ever heard Woody Harrelson's life story? It's pretty unusual. Also he likes hemp. Lot's and lots of hemp...
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But the performance of Daniel Stern is hilarious and this one homeless guy who is supposed to be insane is quite funny.
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I'm starting to think it's not a good idea to revisit the films I thought were great back in my teen days. Half the time they turn out to be almost unwatchable, and it makes realise I was dumber than a jar of spoons back then.I realise I'm only marginally smarter than a jar of spoons these days, but at least I have made some sort of improvement.
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Im sorry. My point was Wall-E and his quest eventually become a part of a larger story-the satirical story about mankind's decline. Here the emphasis is on what happens to human life when it is put on a permanent vacation with no clear goal, ambition or responsibility. This storyline is the primary focus. My point is the whole movie isnt following only Wall-E and what he will do next. That is there, but not like E.T. or Short Circuit where the title character is the thing all others revolve around.
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Oh did anyone see Quint's review of Strange Invaders. It's part of the double feature I reccomended to Danny a few weeks ago when he was trying to find Invaders from Mars. Both movies are quite fun, and I think Quint's review was fair.
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hehe i like it. There's nothing worse than an inconvieniant woody
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Ed Begley Jr.??
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I rented it and started watching it last night. Michael Caine is Holmes, but the reality is he is an actor hired by Watson(Ben Kingsley) who is the real mastermind, but wanted a figurehead because no one wants stories involving a crime doctor. I havent gotten too far, but the gist seems to be that Holmes will have to do without Watson soon.
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Watching him interact with Downey Jr. as Keanu looked on in stoned horror was a beautiful thing. That is an awesome movie.
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Natalie Wood
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I went in remembering Woody from Cheers and them saw NBK. Wow..Didn't Woody's dad get life in prison for killing a judge. Then tried to escape from an Atlanta jail? He was transferred to a supermax prison and died in his cell.
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ranting at the top of the article?
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I posted that creepy cult kid at the Paracast forum last week or the week before. Never seen him/her/it before. The website is simply ridiculous. Gives the rest of us crazies a bad name.
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Teh sukk!
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Roland sure is no... ED WOOD. And that's saying something.
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for the remake of this tube video, starring ScriptGirl. Production starts soon. Standby for more.
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That would kick ass.
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and what's up woth 2012?
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I usually write talkbacks to praise and defend the stuff that I love cause there's way too much negativity towards so many great things.....but I think most of you agree that Roland Emmerich can suck a big fat stinky cock!! I still can't get over the running from cold weather scene in Day After Tomorrow!! Give me a fucking break! Stargate kinda sucks too (I fucking love the series and am glad he made the movie so Brad Wright and Jonathan Glassner could pick it up and turn to gold)! But when they go to Abidos in the movie it's in another galaxy! That's fucking stupid....I think we all know that you can't gate to another galaxy without a ZPM!! Fuck you Roland Emmerich!
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If this movie is as preachy and ham-handed as 'The Day After Tomorrow', then there's no way I will see it.
Don't get me wrong. I believe in global warming as a threat to the planet, but Emmerich's last film was so dumbed-down and self-absorbed in regards to its own position, it was absurd. It just felt like a bunch of left-wing Hollywood fucktards were speaking down to me.
And with Woody Harrelson, John Cusack, and Danny Glover in the mix? I wouldn't expect anything less, so I think I'll pass.
This movie is ending up as a Voltron of Left-Wing Stupidity, with all of these bad actors comprising its various parts. Ignore this film. -
with extra solar radiation? Guess we should mount a space mission to blow up the sun and save the earth before 2012... oh wait...
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...your weiner shrinks 3 cm...m'kay?
That's why that is happening...so stop. You know it's not funny right? maybe you think it will eventually get funny again, but it won't. -
Elijah Wood and Woody Harrelson outrun the entire planet exploding . . . riding a bicycle built for two. Action, thy name is 'Emmerich'
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Since the hottest year on record was 1938 and the average global temperature has been going down for the last three years . . . but, ya know what? I don't care about the politics of movies like The Day After the Day After Tomorrow or 2012 . . . any more than I cared about the politics of Independence Day. I just want the movies not to suck. The Day After Tomorrow disappointed in that respect. Implauability was only one of it's many failures . . .
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If your still there, Wall-E is worth seeing in theater. Just to see the amazing animation on the big screen.
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ya gotta love the east-west movement of the sun.
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yup.
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Jul 15, 2008 7:39:10 PM CDT
Is AL GORE wrong? He's making $100 million selling Carbon Credi
by mace tofu
More than 31,000 scientists across the U.S. – including more than 9,000 Ph.D.s in fields such as atmospheric science, climatology, Earth science, environment and dozens of other specialties – have signed a petition rejecting "global warming," the assumption that the human production of greenhouse gases is damaging Earth's climate. "There is no convincing scientific evidence that human release of carbon dioxide, methane, or other greenhouse gases is causing or will, in the foreseeable future, cause catastrophic heating of the Earth's atmosphere and disruption of the Earth's climate," the petition states. "Moreover, there is substantial scientific evidence that increases in atmospheric carbon dioxide produce many beneficial effects upon the natural plant and animal environments of the Earth."
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Coming soon from TNT. The year 2040 will find the world's crops dead, most of the people in a similar state of decay, and those few left alive will be cannibals, according to a prediction from Ted Turner, founder of Turner Broadcasting and CNN. His comments came in an hour-long interview with Charlie Rose on PBS. "Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state like Somalia or the Sudan," said Turner, calling future living conditions intolerable... Funny, the Hippies said the same thing about where we are now (2008) back in the 60's & 70's. MAD MAX, WATERWORLD and ESCAPE FROM NY... all wrong.
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That's just plain wrong, Photoboy. The Rings were perfect 360 degrees.
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http://www.theendisnear.co.uk
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Maybe if you had actually watched the shows instead of judging it by the looks (farscape is jim henson and if you think those creatures and planets and sets look so horrible then you must be fucking color blind because it's the most beautiful show ever!) than I would care what you had to say! You can't possibly have an opinion on something you have glimpsed while channel surfing for your teen dramas (i do love the wonder years and i haven't seen freaks and geeks but i really want to and i wouldn't even dream about judging it without seeing a single episode). Oh and it's all about the writing....since when has the writing not mattered. And if you're going to judge Battlestar Galactica without seeing it (clearly you haven't seen it since you can't even spell the name of the fucking show) than you're ignorant as fuck.....Battlestar is by far the greatest science fiction show ever made with the BEST ACTING on television I have ever seen! Although it's possible you just don't understand what the characters are talking about in science fiction television....that would make sense!
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