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A Review Of Paul W.S. Anderson's CASTLEVANIA Sript Is Now Online...

Merrick here...
A lengthy/detailed review (more like a full-on evisceration, really) of Paul W.S. Anderson's script for CASTLEVANIA has been posted by CC2K. It goes something like this:
Does Anderson have any idea how fucking cool it would be to bring in some of these experts to choreograph all of the stunts and fight scenes with a similar chain whip? Obviously not because he chose to arm Castlevania’s hero with a fucking sword. Idiot.
...says the write-up, which you can find...


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  • July 14, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    NO!!!!!!!! No whip = Flames on Batman

    by chrth

    or something

  • July 14, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST


    by DrLektor

    says it all really. silent hill still holds the glory of being the best computer game movie but even that isn't perfect. forget comics, when will directors learn that computer and console games are the unfilmable concepts, not comics.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Who cares...

    by I_Snake_Plissken

    ...provided the failure of yet another pointless video game "movie" doesn't throw a wrench in my plans for a big screen adaptation of DIG DUG. I just need to find a way to gather the 80 million in financing. If my Dig Dug project falls through, then I’m going to go with a DTV version of MR.DO.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    No chain whip? Christ...

    by NiceGuyEddie19

    That's as bad as if they gave Indiana Jones a sword. 90% of the game's cool factor comes from the chain whip's awesomeness. That being said, it doesn't sound to me like the world's greatest idea for a movie to begin with. Not very original or interesting. The game rocked, but a movie based on it sounds like a repetative snore.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    if resident evil is a template...

    by Bouncy X

    the chain whip will probably show up at the end to set up a sequel.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    I thought...

    by 11dayempire

    ...Warren Ellis was doing a Castlevania movie. One of those direct-to-DVD animated ones. It has goat-fucking in it.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Van Helsing = Castlevania

    by nooneimportant

    It's the closest thing we'll ever get.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Will Daniel Day Lewis be in this one too?

    by tonagan

    I never tire of the Paul Anderson confusion jokes.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST


    by Klytus_I.m_Bored

    The FUCKING movie. Why not?

  • July 14, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Sounds Like Shit

    by Pogue__Mahone

    I loved Castlevania.... too bad that this writer hasn't clued into anything remotely linked with the mythos of the game...

  • July 14, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    What did you expect?

    by TheJake

    Weasel Shit is the epitome of mediocrity.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    was anyone else dissapointed

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    by Hellboy2?<p>i was super stoked for it and it was kind of just there. damn shame.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Grim Fandango

    by henrydalton

    Will someone PLEASE finally make a good movie of this?

  • July 14, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    HACK! HACK! HACK! n slash


    I don't know how I missed Castlevania? but I guess giving the main character the wrong weapon would be a bit like giving Indy nunchuckas. and this director needs a nod for EwuweweUi Boll levels of persistance! in the face of personal crappiness.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Every Time Paul W.S. Anderson Gets More Work

    by SoWasRed2012

    Gaia dies a little inside.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    "A sword? Has the guy ever played Castlevania?"

    by chrth

    Actually, in some of the versions of Castlevania you can play with a sword.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST


    by Short Bus Jedi

    Paul Anderson directing Castlevania. Is is in space? I can't think of any other way for him to use an interactive holographic map as a device to move from location to location.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Tearing BigRoss a new one

    by SuperSneaky

    Ross made up his mind before he even wrote this, and as such it comes across as being a mean spirited hatchet job for the sake of shooting a few fish in a barrel. I'm the last guy you'd ask to defend PWSA, and don't intend to here. What I will say though, is that the guy who wrote this is the worst kind of agenda following troll, so fuck him.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Paul W. S. Anderson Scores Again...

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    And by score I mean, impregnates a stink ape. I jest. Here is a picture that will warm the cockles of your black heart: He looks so harmless in real life. Who'd have thought he murders films for a living?

  • July 14, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Castlevania? Really?

    by godzillasushi

    That's a franchise that doesn't even justify it's existance anymore. They did just announce the "fighter" for Wii recently. To make a movie....based on that series? Whatever...whip or no whip.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    This is like giving daggers to Kratos....

    by Seth Brundle

    you know, the God of war motherfucker... i never liked castlevania that much but i agree that the coolness was 90% in the freakin whip.....and this guy removes it... funny thing is that i've seen interviews where he says he's a "great videogame fan" , give me a fuckin break... please somebody shoot this asshole

  • July 14, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Surely the chain whip

    by palimpsest

    is what the wii controller was designed for.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    my favoritist vidgame EVAR


    next to mega man 1-3, of course. <P>i'm fully aware this movie will totally get it WRONG, and i think i'm old enough to not care. i'll always have the memories of gameplay in my head. truth is, the story is very vague and needs alot of filler. don't think anderson is the guy to do it, but whatever, it's done.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:32 a.m. CST

    Doubt Paul WS Anderson all you want but...

    by Shepard Wong

    Castlevania will brand it's mark into your scrotal sack. Or maybe if you're one of the few who pay to see this turd, PWSA will spell out his initials in your back with hickeys after he's delivered your 9 dollars worth of ass reeming.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:38 a.m. CST

    gotta have the map


    oh god i realized avp AND resident evil rely on the red holograph map. well, wes oughtta use a cg 3d old parchment map of the castle, and have simon (or whoever) shuffle past it between every major scene of transition, ala the NES original<P>pwa ha

  • July 14, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    might as well

    by turketron

    make the protagonist female, call her Simone Belmont, then in the third movie give her telekinesis out of fucking nowhere...

  • July 14, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST


    by Bass Bastardson

    Warren Ellis is penning an animated Castlevania movie, not the live action PWSA movie version.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    so wrong


    okay i read the review and i take it back.<P> it's all wrong and i DO care.<P>quick someone please get deltoro on this one. hell the elf prince was pretty much alucard already. this movie needs practical creature effects, a whip,holy water, great sets, action, booby traps, an elegantly evil dracula, and one tough and very human simon.<P>and if someone can make finding a porkchop in a brick work, all the better.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    They chose the worst games to adapt

    by David Cloverfield

    Not meaning they're bad games, I mean they're based on movies. Just like Resident Evil was based on Romero's Dead series and Hitman was based on a shitload of movies, there's no point in Castlevania game, for it's obvious influences.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Dear God!

    by Azlam Orlandu

    He's still mulling this idea around in his head? They're going to butcher my favorite series...

  • July 14, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    I have a good idea!

    by I_Snake_Plissken

    Remember that TRON game with the cool blue neon case and rotating joystick? Somebody should try making that into a movie.

  • July 14, 2008, 10 a.m. CST



    what are castlevania's obvious influences? dracula?<P>does that mean no one should ever make a movie with vampires because it's influenced by the original vampire (debateable).<P>the only other influences i see are CONAN in the NES box art, some D&D, and maybe some greek journey myth.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    and i wasn't being shitty, clover


    i'm not trying to start an AICN geek fight, you just left your reply open and vague and i really want to know what other movies influenced castlevania.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    i heard a resident evil 4 movie is in the works?

    by Seth Brundle

    i heard rumours a while ago, does this guy never stops?? the fact that this bastard writes shit so awful and gets to bang Milla Jovovich is one of the big injustices of life

  • July 14, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Wait, I got it!

    by I_Snake_Plissken

    BEAT 'EM and EAT 'EM the movie.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    I always confuse Paul WS Anderson with Steven Sommers

    by I Dunno

    Van Helsing, Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, The Mummy, what's the fucking difference?

  • July 14, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Anderson? Castlevania?

    by nobletoast13

    Fuck off. Sounds worse than his Long Good Friday remake. Wake me up when they announce Kula World the movie. If you remember that game you fucking rock.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    This review fails.

    by BigTPred

    That whole drawn-out,long winded review all for nothing. It's based off the first draft,which has been extensively rewritten by now. Anderson talked about it in an interview right before the writer's strike happened. He admitted that it was(in his words) "just not very good", and that he and another writer we're in process of doing a complete rewrite.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    or Toejam and Earl.

    by nobletoast13

  • July 14, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    So whip it! Whip it good!

    by Johnno

    Man, how could an adaptation fail on so many levels??? Why call it Castlevania at all? Why not Dracula 2020 or some shit? I mean, if anything you'd want to at least get the fanboys interested... But this does nothing...

  • July 14, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    RE4- zombies in space?


    seriously. what can they do next? they painted themselves into a big fucking corner by making the world devastated. and we're supposed to believe that the same rag tag band of survivors at the end of RE:2 survived through the global death and outbreaks to make it to RE:3 just to get lazy and bitten (i.e. carlos and the token jive talking black guy).<P> unless they jump forward even more and say that life started to come back on earth...but strangely mutated...and zombies are now breeding. of course, that would require a budget.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    The Keep

    by thefrood

    1983 Movie starring Ian McKellen. Nazis hold up in an ancient Eastern European castle and are picked off by a supernatural force. As previously stated on other talkbacks, Paul Wank Stain Anderson wouldn't know an original idea if it fucked his sister in the ass.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    still want a mega man movie


    with ed harris and some facial hair as dr. wily.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Paul WS Anderson is the Uwe Boll of Videogame movies... wait...

    by Squashua


  • July 14, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST


    by LaserPants

    Is there any word on when the PONG prequel trilogy is going to be released? I hear its a joint effort between PWS Anderson, Uwe Boll, and Michael "Cocaine" Bay.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    will simon.....


    run around the castle smashing all the candles to boost his moral and find secret weapons before entering the boss zone?

  • July 14, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Video games are unfilmable simply because

    by Cannabis Holocaust

    the medium has the potential to do nearly everything film or literature can accomplish plus much more. By adapting a game into a movie you're automatically throwing away at least half of what made the game cool in the first place and all you're left with is a 2 hour cut scene. Just let games be games already. That being said, there's no reason why anyone with an ounce of talent couldn't make a decent movie about a guy with a badass whip raiding Dracula's castle and fighting a shitload of monsters. So in other words, this movie has NO chance of being watchable with Paul W.S. Anderson directing...

  • July 14, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    can we just call him


    paul wtf anderson and be done with it, instead of really trying to get his name right?

  • July 14, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Sript review?

    by WickedJester

    Anyway, if you thought this movie was going to be any good with it in the hands of this guy, you should have your balls chain-whipped. <br><br> Bring on the Dark Knight already...

  • July 14, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    a Castlevania movie needs Castlevania music

    by ur-vile

    And not having the Vampire Killer sounds lame, unless the story isn't going to focus on a Belmont. Hopefully Paul Anderson ends up having nothing to do with this movie. I wish Gans was working on it.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    whip and boomerang cross-


    guess paul wtf anderson felt that they were already used sorta in avp2. remember the predator's chain whip and the krull-esque shuriken that pinned the blonde to the wall?

  • July 14, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Video Game Adaption

    by WickedJester

    I can't figure out how they keep fucking these up, I mean most of these video games have the story and visuals laid out. Just hit print screen and shoot... how can everyone constantly mess these up? I just don't get it. It's like paint-by-numbers for film!

  • July 14, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Honestly, why even call it Castlevania?

    by snowtires

    The only things this script has in common with the game are the names of the characters. Just call it Paul W.S. Anderson's Dracula and stop trying to get a few extra ticket sales by soiling the name Castlevania. Yeah, in Symphony of the Night, Alucard used a sword. But this isn't about Alucard. Simon Belmont always used Vampire Killer (the whip) as his main weapon. If you get rid of the whip, get rid of the rest of the story as well, because you turn it to shit. I agree with the reviewer, Simon and all of the other Belmonts have always known that killing Dracula and destroying Castlevania was their destiny and they did it alone. Make him a one-man killing machine, get rid of his army. And for fuck's sake, have some crazy whip shit going on. Ditch the sword.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST


    by LaserPants

    The Movie

  • July 14, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Soon We'll See Movies Based On Games Based On Movies

    by LaserPants

    As the de-evolution of our species continues along its ever quickening downward spiral.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Also: Movies Based On Games Based On Movies Based On Games

    by LaserPants

    Watch the obese, flatulent, pimply hordes line up for more and more and more and more...

  • July 14, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST


    by Brett_FlashJ

    Everything about that just sounds wrong. I love Castlevania. I still play the 2 for my DS. NO WHIP?!? Yeah, that makes sense. Idiot...

  • July 14, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    but what did you expect?

    by etantao

    from the man that's given us such gems as Resident evil, mortal kombat, & AVP? surely it's better he does it than Uwe Boll but thats not saying a lot.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST


    by godzillasushi

    Movies like Max Payne were based on games influenced by movies I guess. Godfather game was based on the movie based on that book. Maybe we will see a movie based on a game based on a music CD that was influenced by an episode of Family Guy....which may or may not have been influenced by Ebay or something.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Rush 'N' Attack

    by Project424

    I'd love to see an adaptation of that -- with Michael Biehn as the Russian and James Cameron at the helm.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Zork: The Movie

    by ArcadianDS

    90 minutes of credits.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    origin of the whip


    for the sake of arguement, let's say that having a movie showing the first encounter of a belmont and dracula, where the belmont doesn't realize what he has stumbled into is not a terrible idea. he can be called simon and still be the predecessor of a later simon (NES). family names are funny that way -they get re-used. <P> this ancestor can even be a knight on a mission, carrying a sword and seeking shelter. okay.<P>but at some point, if you don't introduce the whip- it's just wrong.<P> the whip is supposed to be leather (and soaked with the blood of dracula, or something). But for a twist- how about this knight, who is being held in dracula's dungeon, being tortured daily(say, whipped) by one of drac's minions,kept alive just to entertain but our plucky hero escapes his dungeon and grabs the first thing he can get his hands on- in effect, turning the weapon of his own torture against the monsters and dracula. the whip is now infused with his own sainted(?) blood as well, and there is something in it that hurts dracula. faith? whatever. that's just one way to introduce and make the whip plausible.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    what a horrible night to have a curse...

    by smackfu

  • July 14, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Why only make video game movies?

    by JackSack


  • July 14, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Actually, in some of the versions of Castlevania you can play wi

    by smackfu

    Yeah, but the thing is...anyone who likes Castlevania enough to want a movie made, probably want it to be more inspired by the games that didn't suck.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    board games as movies


    too late bro, i saw that fox or warner or paramount (can't fucking remember) bought the rights to all milton bradley games. no joke. i'll look for that article.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Wake me up when Ellis's animated script is reviewed

    by Zarathos666

    I don't need, or even want, to see a live action Castlevania. Bring on the Ellis version.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    the movie better have stairs.


    lots and lots of stairs.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    wsanderson hate mongering on aintitcool?!?

    by rartus

    now there's something new, why don't you just make a whole seperate page for him

  • July 14, 2008, 11:10 a.m. CST

    No whip? A sword? It would be hilarious

    by SpencerTrilby

    if it wasn't Castle-FUCKING-vania. Clueless hack...

  • July 14, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Anderson can't help fucking with these things

    by photoboy

    Just look at how he completely ignored the Resident Evil story to shoe-horn his wife into the film. The only worse thing they could have done is to hire Michael Bay to rape the franchise.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    The New Brutalism

    by kwisatzhaderach

    John Boorman coined the term “new brutalism” to contrast the new style of action sequences consisting of fast cuts and action going out of frame with the more classical style of action. He said the new brutalism “is a form of naivete, because it’s made by people who I think don’t really have a grasp of cinema’s history. It’s the MTV kind of editing, where the main idea is that the more disorienting it is, the more exciting. And you see it creeping into mainstream cinema more and more. You look at something like Armageddon and you see all the things that would have been forbidden in classical cinema, like crossing the line, camera jumping from side to side. It is a way to artificially generate excitement but it doesn’t really have any basis to it. And I find it kind of sad, because it’s like an old man trying to dress like a teenager.”

  • July 14, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Simon's Quest for the NES

    by Bubba Gillman

    Best Castlevania game ever. And I predict that this movie will not be good.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    How's about Harry's review of TDK?

    by uppercanuck

    Just curious is all.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    castlevania 3 better, IMO


    1 is bold, and lays the groundwork, but is really short when i replay it now. <P>2 is odd. if dracula is resurrected every 100 years, why is the same simon at it again? if it's 100 years, what does the middle belmont sit around and do (supposing a grandfather fights drac, and then 100 years later, a grandson does)? it was long and hard, most people can't beat it without cheatcodes. it expects you to know to do things like crouching somewhere for 30 seconds- to proceed with the game. buying and upgrading items was it's strong suit. also the switch from night to day was annoying as fuck. <P>3 went back to the boldness of #1, with new characters that actually had different fight styles, different paths that stimulated replaying, and more music. it also introduced alucard, although he had joker-style ducktailed hair. <P>super castlevania (IV) for SNES was one of the most law bending games of the system. sometimes too colorful, but employing visual gimmicks that stretched what he snes could do. <P>symphony of the night kicked all kinds of ass. nuff said. <P>then just wipe your memory of any nintendo 64 or camecube castlevania, from what i hear.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    i love the new ads


    you know, the ones under the articles, for shit like secret deoderant? classy.and relevant.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    i never realized it before now


    not to be one of those 'he raped my childhood' screamers, but this one man had ruined three things i really cared about in my formative creative years.<P>aliens and predator, castlevania, and resident evil as well as zombie law.<P>and the icing on the cake is sleeping with milla.

  • July 14, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Castlevania without the whip is like Star Wars without the light

    by Luscious.868

    The shit just won't work. Not that I was planning on seeing this steaming pile of shit anyway, but Jesus H. Christ on a bicycle, get a clue Anderson. Doing crazy shit with the chain whip is what everybody remembers about the games.

  • July 14, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST


    by DeweyOxburger

    I'm on board for the Toejam and Earl movie. Chris Tucker and Louie Anderson are the leads...

  • July 14, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST


    by Godovhellfire

  • July 14, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    Actually in the best of the Castlevania series you NEVER use a w

    by Saracen1

  • July 14, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    But he is banging Milla Jovovich

    by blindambition238

    So he has clearly been doing something very right...

  • July 14, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST


    by TheMcflyFarm

    sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript sript

  • July 14, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST

    by ominus

    jesus christ guys.have u read the script? the sword isnt like the casual swords we know from samurai,conan etc. it has a chain attached to it,and it works like a whip with a sharp blade on its edge. i dont remember its actual name,but i have seen this weapon in the old kungfu movies. i dont know about u,but i find it more realistical and cool to use this kind of weapon in a RL movie,than a casual whip. (and i dont remember indy killing anyone directly with his whip..) so stop moaning like bitches and read first the damn script.

  • July 14, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    by ominus

    and FFS fix those damn talkbacks.there is free opensource code to do this u know,to make them more comfortable to use. but i guess,when u r the no1 cine-site,everything else is trivia..

  • July 14, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    They have to use the whip

    by TenDeuChen

    or else this will suck. They also need daggers and those cross boomerang things. Castlevania is awesome I hope he doesn't frack it up!

  • July 14, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    CASTLEV w/out Whip Is Like Poop w/out Stink

    by LaserPants

    And verily, is it not the stench of poop that makes it such a classic comedy device? Without its inherent stinkiness, poop loses all its meaning. It is the same for Castlevania and the whip. DEAR GOD ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN I WILL NOT SUFFER THIS TRANSGRESSION AGAINST A VIDEO GAME I USED TO PLAY WHEN I WAS 12!!! AIEEEEEE!!!

  • July 14, 2008, 12:37 p.m. CST

    If No Whip, PWS Anderson's Entire Family Should Be Killed

    by LaserPants

    Without mercy. His entire family, all of this friends, everyone he ever even knew or talked to should be mercilessly tortured and murdered. In fact, I think that the entire human race should be wiped off the face of the Earth just to make sure that nobody, and I mean NOBODY ever, EVER transgresses against old school video gaming ever again. HOW DARE THEY EVEN TRY?!?! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!!! DAMN THEM!!!! AIEEEEE!!!!

  • July 14, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Who gives a shit

    by Rat Fink

    Paul W. S. Anderson sucks and this will suck like all the rest.

  • July 14, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Were you expecting any less than pure shit from him???????????

    by crackerfarmboy

    Seriously, the guy fucking sucks. What else would you expect from him?

  • July 14, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Zetatalk has new photos of Planet X!

    by classyfredblassy dex/z03.htm

  • July 14, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    by Urge to Kill

    A real Castlevania movie would have Simon whipping candles for 2 hours then he would say "Oh what a terrible night to have a nightmare"

  • July 14, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Fuck Uwe Boll...

    by GingerBallz

    Somebody should stop this hack from making movies.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:02 p.m. CST


    by Geekhaterssuck

    Wow if this is legit all my hopes for this movie went straight to hell.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    This script sounds terrible

    by Slippy

    Just another franchise to f up before it even begins by another piece of shit director.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    I would Love Lucasfilm....

    by emeraldboy

    to start adapting thier own videogames. When I walked out of POTC 3 at worlds end. I though The adventures of Guybrush would make a great antidote to all this bruckhiemer nonesense. There woul have to be one stipulation. a hard one this. Lucas would have nothing to do with the screenplay.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    This is Anderson we're talking about here...

    by Conans Sword

    Mr AVP, the man who made resident evil, honestly who the fuck saw this thing turning out ok??

  • July 14, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Paul W.S. Anderson sucks.

    by TooWhippy

    Why does this guy get to make movies?

  • July 14, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    no one stated the obvious casting


    milla as this 'love interest' that's mentioned, who is a vampire in the end... you know it to be true. <P>god i hate using thos AICN catchphrases.sorry.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    What is it with Paul W.S. Anderson

    by alucardvsdracula

    First off he makes the brilliant Boogie Nights and then he goes and makes the rubbish Event Horizon. Next he makes the brilliant Magnolia and then he makes the rubbish Resident Evil. How odd. And now there is There Will Be Blood which is sure to be followed by another rubbish film ie Castlevania. Is it just me or is this guy a bit Schizophrenic. Anyone would think there's two people running around with the same name, one making some instant classics, the other peddling the cinematic equivalent of maggot infested diarrhea.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Can't say I'm surprised...

    by Darth Sticky

    W.S. is a no-talent ass clown.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Hello! The RUNDOWN!?!?!? What a douche.

    by Baked

    He got drunk off of his "creativity" in the AvP series and Resident Evil: Extinction, so now he thinks it's party time with other peoples' intellectual property.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    So it's just 'Van Helsing'

    by ZeroCorpse

    With a worse director.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    van helsing sucked in ways


    and was -dare i say- good?-in others? (like combining almost all classic monsters in one flick, regardless of the messy result)when i saw it in the theaters i couldn't help but think, oh, someone's made a castlevania movie.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    alucard vs dracula


    you know there are two different paul andersons, right? one is good, the other terrible. paul w.s. is the bad one.the competent paul anderson (or is it andersen? fuck if i remember)

  • July 14, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana

    by smackfu

    nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana dodo do do dodo do do do dodo do....dodo do do dodo do do do dodo do nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana nanana NANana. Yeah. That shit better be in it.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    It's easy to remember the difference between the 2 andersons

    by smackfu

    if you just think of the W.S. standing for worthless shit.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:46 p.m. CST

    "Why not board games?" They already have.

    by Baked

    And, let's be honest, Clue was the shit.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    I remember watching the Resident Evil DVD commentary

    by theyreflockingthisway

    and I thinkg Paul WS Anderson mentioned the train was a homage to the games or something. <br><br> Really, Paul, if you're going to make a film on a game the whole thing should be a homage to it. Not just write something completely different and throw a couple of references in it. <br><br> Sure you can argue that people who played the games will want something different but not THAT different that it's a completely different story. <br><br> Resident Evil completely messed up because the best characters didn't make an appearance (where's Wesker!?!) and by the time you get to the sequels, mentioning that Leon S Kennedy was killed in another little "homage" means you've rid us of the awesome Resident Evil 4 based movie we should be on to by now (assuming Resident 2/3 were one film and Code Veronica was 3).

  • July 14, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST


    by turketron

    But a miserable pile of secrets...

  • July 14, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Just in case any tits wants a Zelda movie...

    by nobletoast13

    Castlevania never really had a story anyway so when you take away its only iconic….thing – the whip, there’s really nothing you’re adapting (except Dracula of course). I’d also like to say that The Legend of Zelda would be an awful movie (not that anyone mentioned it). A mute dude with elf ears in a skirt pulling iron boots out of his arse every few temples to save a mute princess and defeat the stock villain who can turn into a giant cow. I hate people who for some reason think Zelda has a story. Fuck The Legend of Zelda, its deluded fans and its wondrous game play. Same goes for Halo.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    I am sick of the contempt Anderson shows to the subject matter

    by obi12kenobi

    I know he's just a man doing his job, albeit badly, but he is working with material that is loved by many and shows nothing but disregard and contempt for the subject matter. Just does his own fucking shit interpretation of it. Fuck's me off! There'll be 2 sequels as well.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    I know what's gonna happen!!!

    by FuryofthefilmFan

    He'll look at the whip as he's getting ready to go fight , then say , "next time baby" and the crowd will love it.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    You're right, nobletoast...

    by NiceGuyEddie19

    That is, if they hired someone to write the Zelda script who had absolutely no talent or imagination. But that wouldn't have to be the case. Using bits and pieces from all the games, something very respectable could be written and it would have a hell of a lot more potential than Castlevania.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    budget vs whip


    i understand it would take more time and effort to take the blonde WB hunk dijour who's playing simon and train him with a whip, but that's what cg is for. give the kid a peice of flourescent green yarn to sling around and add in the whip later.<P>and homage- how's this for homage- upon entering the castle, simon is dressed in the knightlier garb from simon's quest, but by the end, after an escape from months of dungeon captivity with the very whip used to beat him, his clothes have become the tattered yellow and brown loincloth and tunic look, circa the original game (though that was more of a barbarian look)

  • July 14, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    It's consistent...garbage in - garbage out

    by ScottinDC

    He does crap...look at the overhyped Resident Evil flicks. So, why would this be any better?

  • July 14, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    the last bit about the clothes


    was my homage idea, not theirs, btw

  • July 14, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Video games do not transfer well to the big screen

    by Organs

    You might as well make a movie about the Encyclopedia Britannica kid, C++ the programming language, and the discovery of toast.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Russian Attack!

    by JackSack

    That is an awesome idea for a movie. It could be two hours of the hero lying prone and stabbing the feet of an endless horde of invading Russian soldiers.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST


    by theyreflockingthisway

    No, video games can transfer to the big screen. It's just, as yet, not a single writer/director has respected the original source material. Plenty of games have original and unique stories that would work great as films. Problem is they never learn from past mistakes - so much so they even keep giving them to the same directors!

  • July 14, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Why does everything have to be changed?

    by rogueleader66

    In any movie adaption, doesn't matter if it's a cartoon to movie, comic book to movie, video game to movie, book to movie, they always have to fucking change something, and it's always something major. Minor changes are fine, but when you change something major, no matter what it is, you disrespect the source material, like it isn't good enough for YOUR movie.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST


    by obi12kenobi

    it's completely wrong to say that games don't translate well to the big screen. they use talentless, clueless halfwits to write the fucking things. they haven't been given the chance they deserve. given a good writer you could make a good mario film. imagine a cgi/liveaction film with the garish look of speed racer, an intro where the princess is kidnapped and commence the action. could be fun. something like resident evil writes itself but again that cunt PWSA decided to write his own half-baked, women-can-be-tough-too, wanky version and completely disregard the SUBJECT-MATTER. i'd like to tattoo that on his fucking forehead in big, black, bold letters.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    What a horribly written article

    by NoodlesHahn

    I have no doubt it's a terrible script but that review comes close. I'm sure Wholly Shit Anderson would like to direct it.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Paul Anderson nuked the fridge

    by Second Try

    with this sword-whip switch thing

  • July 14, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    No chain whip = LAME

    by Wes_Reviews_ about someone not understanding the source material. Why make Castlevania if you're not going to do it right? AWFUL.

  • July 14, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    by Sailor Rip

    That was Trevor Belmont in part 3.

  • July 14, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Pok chops...

    by angusthecow

    The truth is that in film school they tell you to waterdown an idea to its most basic element. Castlevania's being stopping dracula...well i give that much for Anderson he follows his classes but then again other directors break the mold because they do what others dont dare. As stupid as VanHelsing is it will be the best castlevania movie ever the same way "Legend" is unoficial "Legend of zelda movie" the feelings are there and the athmosphere. Now to the pork chop, the point in all of this is that these film directors [writers] dont have any imagination. I have been writing for ten years and i can fix the tech errors from "The blackhole" by just thinking up something rational to fix the pork chop in castlevania. Ok lets say that after fighting of the mummy in an inverted chamber our hero is trapped by accident in a triangular room, no way out, no food and no hope. 2 days pass and we see flashbacks from his training or memories from his friends long dead as slowly he begins to starve. Just when we think he is about to die he goes berserk and punches a wall brickwall one of the bricks crumbles and he finds some ancient beef jerky used by the builders of the castle as rations when they were building it. Sice the velmont family is trained and knows about such history mind you he eats the yerky and is replenish just in time to fight the next monster that happened to be awakened by the whole fuzz and just minded to destroy one of the walls to destroy our hero...

  • July 14, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Castlevania Comic

    by Autodidact

    I have some sweet ideas for a Castlevania comic book. I can also draw so I might just whip off a few pages myself. Keep your ears to the ground folks!

  • July 14, 2008, 3:22 p.m. CST

    sailor rip-


    oh i know that, but it was simon in both #1 and simon's quest.. trevor wore the same getup that simon did in #1 though, and supercastlevania 4 was basically a retelling of #1, if i recall, it was simon again. don't ask me about any of the sega stuff, i have no idea about that belmont lineage.

  • July 14, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST



    easily substituted for rats or other cured/mummified creature/meat trapped in a wall. i'm with ya angusthecrow. a simple nod of that would be funny as hell to fans.

  • July 14, 2008, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Know little about Castlevania

    by Giant Ape Balls

    but this just sounds dreadful anyway. Straight to DVD hell. And he's fucking Milla Jovovich. Proof that there is no God.

  • July 14, 2008, 3:48 p.m. CST


    by Mullah Omar

    I know I didn't. It's not as if a negative script review changes my mind in any way whatsoever. <br> <br> This is simple math: <br> <br> PWS Anderson <br> + video game adaptation <br> = guaranteed shit.

  • July 14, 2008, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Anderson, did we expect anything from him??

    by TestSubject28

    His boring, almost zombie free, Resident Evil movies should have been a sign that his Castlevania movie would have NOTHING to do with the game. Hell he will probably find a way to make Dracula boring and cram his wife in as the love interest. This movie is gonna suck and should grace video store shelves as a direct to dvd release.

  • July 14, 2008, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Rope Dart + Meteor Hammer + Chain Whip = NO SWORD, ASSHOLE!

    by Baked

    The novelty of this kind of weapon's use in an action movie would have been more than enough of a reason to put it in there.

  • July 14, 2008, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Dominic Purcell can reprise his role

    by The Winged Doucheman

    As Metro-Fabulous Dracula

  • July 14, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Bittersweet thinking

    by SPECTRE007

    So am I crazy to STILL be wishing somebody would make a Zelda Movie? Or will that just get screwed up, too?

  • July 14, 2008, 4:21 p.m. CST

    Screw this

    by m_reporter

    There won't be a good videogame movie until a real director doesn't give it a shot.<p> With that said, best games that could make awesome films are: Grimm Fandango (this in the hands of the Pixar dudes would be pure gold), Monkey Island, Sanitarium and the good old Fallout.

  • July 14, 2008, 4:31 p.m. CST

    I don't understand

    by snowtires

    why no one in Hollywood is learning the lesson that they learned with the whole comic book > movie thing (the last two Batman movies, the first two Spider-Man movies, Iron Man, etc.). If you start treating the source material with respect, you can actually start building a franchise that people will be excited to see. Shit on the source material and you might as well be throwing millions and millions of dollars down the toilet.

  • July 14, 2008, 4:36 p.m. CST


    by m_reporter

    ... never seemed like good movie material to me. The game was a blast, but the story is not that interesting. All it came down to was whipping the hell out of demons in the end, which is great for games but not as much for a solid movie.

  • July 14, 2008, 4:48 p.m. CST

    i fucking hate

    by DigitalBeachWar

    Paul WS Anderson

  • July 14, 2008, 5 p.m. CST


    by LastStop2006

    Yeah this draft is like 4 years old just as a FYI! It;'s been going through tons of rewrites. The WHip is all in the script for sure!

  • July 14, 2008, 5:02 p.m. CST

    The First 10 minutes of the film

    by The Winged Doucheman

    Will be Simon Belmont slashing at Candelabras with his sword for power-ups then missing easy jumps from stairways to ledges. That was my Castlevania experience anyway.

  • July 14, 2008, 5:05 p.m. CST

    when the hero gets hit-


    he'll fold over and fall backwards saying "HURP" <P>that noise was probably the most human in all of NES.

  • July 14, 2008, 5:42 p.m. CST


    by Shakes The Clown


  • July 14, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    Well, that's all I needed to hear...

    by br1947

    I'll catch the remake of this in 15 years when someone finally starts doing video games right

  • July 14, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST

    That's fine

    by otm shank

    He can sit in the urine soaked sandbox that is video game movies. Just keep him the hell away from my beloved Alien franchise!

  • July 14, 2008, 6:11 p.m. CST

    Stay true to the game?

    by NiceGuyEddie19

    So you mean it should be 90 minutes of going up and down stairs, dusting off rodents with a whip and collecting power-ups?

  • July 14, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    The flames on Optimus...

    by NiceGuyEddie19

    Kinda made it look like he had ribs. It was kinda cool.

  • July 14, 2008, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Is this beyond Nuking the fridge?!?!

    by Violator90

    Hasn’t this hack proven that he can fuck up a video game movie as bad as Uwe Boll. Hell, WTF. Anderson and Boll seem more like twins than anything. Come on Hollywood! Anderson has FUCKED UP everything he’s made, just like his good ol’ buddy Boll. Now, I’m not a big Castlevania fan, but I liked it just the same. But not to justify it to get mauled and raped by douche bags like WTF. Anderson. Changing the main character’s main weapon is like adding nipples on Optimus Prime; which by now may have them. Fuck I hate this shit! Instead of giving projects to people that would at least go over the source material or know it, Hollywood STILL makes shit stain’s richer and richer. This is why I just go to rent movies, at least there I do find a few gems among a towering mountain of crapastic movies. FUCK YOU ANDERSTON! And you little dog Boll.

  • July 14, 2008, 6:44 p.m. CST

    Well, atleat Deathrace looks promising.

    by Stalkeye

  • July 14, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST


    by SnakesOnABicycle

    Should be cool. But won't. Not like this. Story needs to be simple, with very little dialogue. Opening scene - Simon enters castle. End scene - Simon exits castle. All the scenes inbetween - Simon working his way through castle to Dracula and finally kills him. How fucking hard is that? Get somebody with a Tim Burton-esqe visual style (a la more gothic versions of Hammer films), throw in an assistant to Simon for the first half of the movie (if you just HAVE to have dialogue), and the rest writes itself. Werewolves, Dracula's brides, bats, zombies... could be cool as fuck. But nooooo. The way it is now they should just set this fucker in space, have the castle be a kind of space station, make Simon a girl, name her Sonia, and have the whip be made of a laser. - Oh wait, IMDB says they're already doing one of them. Take a big fucking guess which.

  • July 14, 2008, 7:04 p.m. CST

    Should base it off Castlevania III

    by frofropimp

    It's got a great lead-in (the Belmonts being exiles and banished from Romania because the populace is scared of their power). You have the sidekick Grant DaNasty (pirate who can defy gravity), the love interest Sypha Belnades (powerful magician), and Drac's son Alucard, who's a super-intriguing character. Check out an updated version of the great intro Just change Trevor's name to Simon and you'd have an incredible movie.

  • July 14, 2008, 7:30 p.m. CST

    I sure HOPE the videogame-2-film trend won't follow

    by SpencerTrilby

    the comics adaptations, where except for Chris Nolan or Guillermo Del Toro there's no salvation, only hacks pimping their shitty films enough to lure the audience in. <p> Aside from the decent Silent Hill movie (or the quite funny and endlessly quotable Doom), the video games adaptations have proven unwatchable past 14 years old. Been fooled before, so I won't pay a dime to see this. Too bad, just replayed Symphony of the Night and it rocks. Now, bring on Christophe Gans' Onimusha, that one at least sounds both faithful AND ambitious.

  • July 14, 2008, 7:57 p.m. CST

    Crack that whip!

    by Grand Moff Toht

    Devo sad.

  • July 14, 2008, 7:58 p.m. CST

    Original Cast list

    by Grand Moff Toht

    Anyone remember any of the names in the credits when you defeated Dracula in the first NES Castlevania? Weird variations of real horror movie stars -- Karloff, Lugosi, Christopher Lee, etc. They have to reuse those names for the credits in this film. And that "eerie" music too.

  • July 14, 2008, 8:16 p.m. CST

    Rememver Alucard

    by kungfuhustler84

    from Symphony of the Night? No whip. Best game in the series. That said, not having it at all would be extremely lame and disappointing.

  • July 14, 2008, 8:21 p.m. CST


    by kungfuhustler84

    once again, edit button badly needed for inattentive, slobbering, lazy dorks like me. please

  • July 14, 2008, 8:39 p.m. CST

    Spencer Trillby

    by kungfuhustler84

    I am definitely with you on the Onimusha film. Now there's something I can be excited for. Brotherhood of the Wolf has become kind of a cult classic for me. And the opening cinematic of Onimusha 3 only confirms that the film has incredible potential for quality cinematic action and story.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:33 p.m. CST

    kungfuhustler84 - I'm wit'ya, but for totally different reasons

    by SpencerTrilby

    I'm sorry to be so direct, but I truly hate Brotherhood of the Wolves. I know it's some kind of a cultural landmark outside of France but where I live it's widely seen as a joke, a scam similar to what was Van Helsing to the American audience. Even the fans of the movie I know admit it aged pretty badly. <p> I'm not the kind of talkbacker to diss others' tastes, what I'm trying to say is that I was a former Gans naysayer (the guy is a notorious blowhard in interviews, and his past work failed to impress me) who had his ass handed back to him by Silent Hill: not a great movie but a decent horror flick with a solid cast, direction, visuals, quite faithful to the game (albeit the director's more a fan of the second game and unfortunately it shows) and overall a miraculous display of craftmanship and integrity, unheard of when it comes to the recent wave of horror flicks and/or video game adaptations. <p> I truly ate crows that day and watched the news about Gans' projects with a renewed interest. So as long as he doesn't cast Jean Reno to match the game but focuses on Takeshi Kaneshiro, I'm onboard. Give the man $80 million for his crazy samurai fantasy, instead of financing that phony Paul "Evil Namesake" Anderson. And keep the latter off the Metal Gear movie, as well!!!

  • July 14, 2008, 10:01 p.m. CST

    No Power Pellets In PAC MAN: THE MOVIE?!?!?!

    by LaserPants


  • July 14, 2008, 10:40 p.m. CST

    oh believe me Spencer

    by kungfuhustler84

    I know Brotherhood of the Wolf is a joke. Part of why I enjoy it so much is it's so ridiculous. But at least Gans had the balls to make a kung fu, historical, dramatic, monster movie right? I was so in awe of all the crap getting tossed into the pot at the same time that I couldn't help but laugh and enjoy myself. And I definitely agree about no Jean Reno. Takeshi Kaneshiro definitely. I personally loved Jubei Yagyu in part 2 even more though. The voice acting was terrible but he just struck me as a much cooler character for some reason.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:49 p.m. CST

    I think if they respect the property

    by Rufferto

    <p>and are real fans in some way they can also see the potential and not dumb it down to crap as "another video game movie" or as another pay check or something.</p> <p>I don't think Castlevania's plot was that complicated so there is plenty of room for fleshing it out. If done well it could be a great boost to the horror monster genre.</p> <p>I have to admit when I played symphony of the night the first thing I though was What? I'm not a Belmont?" But the game grew on me so much that i started to wonder if the ones after didn't suffer from lack of Alucard.</p> <p>I can easily imagine him in the movie without having to be the focus. The best part of that game was the incredibly gross monster bosses in it like The lord of the flies. He was awesome.</p> Also, A movie wouldn't be the same without music as fantastic as the ones in the game too. No matter how this turns out there is no reason it couldn't be good.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:01 p.m. CST

    A movie would need these bosses at least:

    by Rufferto

    Death, a Succubus, and Dracula. I could very much imagine Alucard evil and fighting the main Belmont or something and then making him the hero in a sequel.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:24 p.m. CST

    One of the best NES games ever...

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    ...but it was FRUSTRATING AS FUCK.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah, and there needs to be a Clocktower area

    by ur-vile

    Or some place with some big fucking gears and some medusa heads

  • July 14, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    PoS Anderson...

    by SithScorp

    Is anyone ACTUALLY surprised what the guy does at this point? As though he would have done it right in the first place... "It's only a video game. The whip isn't believable..." Blahblahblah. Just like ratBrains' ruination of the X-Men franchise. These guys have no FUCKING clue what they are doing. Add him to the list with Uwe Boll (sp?) as shithead filmmakers that have NO business making films. And Uwe, I WOULD TAKE YOUR ASS IN THE RING YOU CHICKENSHIT... Sorry, got off-topic there.

  • July 15, 2008, 12:06 a.m. CST

    I blame Bluray for this mess

    by Mace Tofu

    Paul must of been watching the DRACULA Bluray while writing the CASTLEVANIA script. Sounds like a lazy idea for a original "plot" but he's making the $ doing it and we are not. Too bad he didn't watch VAMPIRE HUNTER D.

  • July 15, 2008, 1:15 a.m. CST

    If This Movie

    by Athanatos

    is actually made, they should be sued, it starts off as The Keep (1983) and then turns into Dracula (1992). I know that Hollywood usually rejects original ideas and loves remakes, but this is beyond pathetic.

  • July 15, 2008, 1:17 a.m. CST

    More AICN legendary lines lol

    by Seth Brundle

    1)Flames on Optimus 2)Nipples on Batman 3)John Connor skin on cyborg 4)Exchange whip for sword am i missing one¿?

  • July 15, 2008, 2:14 a.m. CST

    Don't let that fucker near anything ever again!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    He's nothing but a fucking hack who can't direct shit.

  • July 15, 2008, 3:01 a.m. CST

    hopefully they do early Vanias

    by Prossor

    when it was like Conan the Barbarian styled like on NES/SNES, and not the later shit when they started looking like tranvestites on the playstations.

  • July 15, 2008, 3:41 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    Just remember this. He took Resident Evil- the simplest paint by numbers ZOmbie concept ever and threw the plot out in favour of Amnesia. The fucking Hack. <P>BTW- the train thing is from RE:2. Which just goes to show what a colossal dick he is.

  • July 15, 2008, 3:54 a.m. CST

    Why is PWSA obsessed with guys on mission going to the dungeon

    by TallBoy66

    Resident Evil - group on mission descends to bowels of hell to confront otherworldly monsters. Alien vs. Predator - group on mission descends to bowels of hell to confront otherworldly monsters. This script - group on mission descends to bowels of hell to confront otherworldly monsters. What the hell is going on? Did he get locked in the basement as a kid or something?

  • July 15, 2008, 4:19 a.m. CST


    by Ecto-1

    Man, I'm kinda speachless (but not completely) as to how utterly crap this sounds. It's not bad enough that he has stolen from other films that are much better than anything that he could create (Coppola's Dracula and The Keep, man I fucking LOVE The Keep), but that the Studio has actually approved it. I doubt that the script will be getting a substantial rewrite, more just tweeking here and there. I've not played the games but the story for them sounds pretty cool. Anyway, Paul, you should be ashamed of yourself. Stealing whole chunks from other movies will not make your movie cool. It just shows you up for the talentless hack that you obviously are. Event Horizon was a fluke.

  • July 15, 2008, 4:41 a.m. CST

    RE: To those who object to my statement...

    by Organs

    Here's the thing: at their core, movies are visual and aural stories, with a setting, characters, and a plot that involves a problem largely affecting the main character, sending him or her through a series of events leading to a climax, and then the falling action to the film's epilogue and conclusion. <br> <br> Video games, at their core, are diversions that stimulate our minds and give us something fun to do. Sure, there are stories to make games more interesting. But let's say we have a Metroid movie. Who's the cast of characters? Samus and a bunch of monsters? How do you even have dialogue? And Super Mario Bros. was a goofy, kiddie imaginative world that--one might conclude--resulted in a couple plumbers in Italy doing shrooms and marveling at flowers and the magical worlds to which drain pipes may lead. <br> <br> The most story driven game turned to a movie was Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. And while I'll say that was the best video game/movie adaptation, it wasn't very good on its own. <br> <br> Let me know when they make a movie from my computer's instruction manual...

  • July 15, 2008, 4:48 a.m. CST

    More thoughts...

    by Organs

    As far as a Castlevania movie, most games don't have much dialogue. Oh, sure, there were other heroes and, thus, characters in the third game and there was some interesting dialogue in Lament of Innocence. But, most of the game is exploring a part of a castle, or Transylvanian countryside, and just defeating monsters while breaking candles and torches to receive hearts, which inexplicably turn to ammunition for daggers, projectile axes, bottles of holy water, and so on. <br> Challenging obstacles and visual stimuli drive a video game. Plot, acting, camera direction, character development, dialogue, and a mere smattering of monster threats make a movie.

  • July 15, 2008, 5:25 a.m. CST

    Even the Gameboy version was fun

    by Glamour Fairy

    Why can't they just make these movies true to the game. DOOM didn't need to not be about Hellspawn and some DNA crap. If there is no chain whip I won't be surprised. Go ahead and make Donkey Kong the movie without barrels, see if I care.

  • You guys are fucking pathetic. And Glamour Fairy? A movie true to the game? How the fuck do you make a movie based on a platform game that's true to it? Think about it. I mean really think about it.

  • July 15, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST


    by MariusXe

    I think the same thing. It isn't like Castlevania was story heavy or anything. It a 2-D Sidesroller for christs sake! Maybe they make a Yoshis Island movie next, or Kirbys Adventures!

  • July 15, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Can't say I really care for (or know anything about) Castlevania

    by Jack the Riddler

    I do know Paul Double You Ass. So I understand the pain of anyone who does know the game and cares for it. Ed Wood really was born a few decades too early.

  • July 15, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    I really miss my Super Nintendo...

    by I AM ROCKO

    ...and playing Castlevania (and Goldeneye) on it. God I feel old. Anyway- after the celluloid abominations of the Resident Evil film, and the sheer horror of having to sit through Aliens vs Predator, I will pass on this film. I would love a great Castlevania film, I realy would, I would love a great video game adaptation and even a great vampire film (I cannot remember the last really good one) but it does not seem to be happening!

  • July 15, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Final Fantasy

    by Lost Jarv

    was not only not a good movie, but also a fucking dreadful interpretation of the games. I real missed chance.

  • July 15, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Paul W(ank) S(hit) Anderson...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ...needs to fuck off. Seriously.

  • July 15, 2008, 3:53 p.m. CST

    EVENT HORIZON? I liked it better when

    by Mace Tofu

    it was called GALAXY OF TERROR.

  • July 15, 2008, 5:28 p.m. CST

    bitching about adaptation = don't understand

    by necgray

    I don't totally disagree with fans who want to see direct, "faithful" adaptations of their favorite comic book/video game/cartoon franchise, but sometimes I want to throttle them. What would be the point of a direct adaptation of Resident Evil? Or a direct adaptation of Castlevania? You might as well just, I don't know, PLAY Resident Evil or Castlevania. A movie is a different beast. Yes, Anderson should be keeping the storylines relatively close to their source inspiration, but slavishly recreating the games would be silly. I enjoy Sin City even though it's mostly a direct page-to-screen adaptation. But that's because comic books lack the "motion" part of motion pictures. But video games don't lack that motion. So I think just recreating entire scenes from a video game would be a little ridiculous. The man is still pretty much a hack and he DOES need to stick closer to the game narrative, but you people also need to keep in mind the point of film.

  • July 15, 2008, 8:51 p.m. CST

    WTF Anderson to reimagine MARIO BROS. !!

    by Violator90

    Now instead of Italian brothers WTF Anderson has Shawn and Marlon Wayans as to brothers starting as new maintance men for the city cleaning out the sewers of Los Angeles, and discovers a world full of mutated reptiles. Using machine guns and grandees to destroy them all and their leader Bowser (played by Eddie Murphy). Toad is play buy Vern Troyer(Mini Me) and the Princess is played by Martin Lawrence in drag who at the end of the movie reveals that she is a he. With FX straight from THE MATRIX and using Tony Jaa as the stunt man for EVERY ONE; this movie is gonna introduce the term TURD BOMD to the world! Awesome move Anderson, what else are you going rape then shit on?

  • July 16, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    ELGordo & MariusXe

    by SpencerTrilby

    He's not adapting a single, 2D old school game. He's adapting a bunch of games whose stories are spanning centuries, contain some decent characterization, plot twists and rich visuals. All of which could be inproved by a good writer and director. I shall quote Pondscum on that one: "Just cuz PWSA isn't fucking with something you like, doesn't mean you can give him a pass". And I might add: just because you think clever to belittle your fellow geeks on a subject matter you know nothing about, doesn't make your comments any more insightful.

  • July 16, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST


    by SpencerTrilby

    History-driven games are just like film/anime, but with the added commitment of the proactive palyer, as opposed to the "passive" moviegoer. There's nothing inherently wrong in adapting them to the big screen, it just needs a director capable of grasping his audience by the balls with his visual storytelling. A feat that, obviously, Anderson is uncapable of, but I digress. Games to film are in their "Cannon/Corman" era actually, the way comic book adaptations were in the 80's. But their time will come, eventually. It's up to us, audience, not to pay to see their Castlevania In Name Only or Resident Feeble piece of shit movies so the producer will try something new for a change and hire competent people. Stranger things happened.