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Massawyrm Openly Shares His Manlove For Del Toro While Getting Manly Love Juice All Over HELLBOY II !!

Hola all. Massawyrm here. I fucking love Guillermo del Toro. He just…gets me. The guy digs deep into his brain, rattles around a bit back there, then pulls something out and with his cupped, wet, dripping hands offers up exactly what I was looking for. He can do fun. He can do brutal. He can do melancholic. And he can do all three at the same time. I love his films. But they’re not for everyone. He plays to geeks in a big way – both closeted, or like me, out and proud. Oh sure, most people THINK they’re del Toro fans because they loved Pan’s Labyrinth, but that’s like saying you’re a David Lynch fan because you like Blue Velvet. It doesn't count if EVERYONE loves it. No, del Toro ain’t for everybody. And the Hellboy series separates the fans from the otherwise better than anything else he’s done. I mention this because if you didn’t love Hellboy – if you found it to be a soulless, lackluster, characterless attempt at a superhero film – than Hellboy 2 will not make you a convert. Guillermo returns to that universe and spends two more hours there without trying to “fix” anything he did “wrong” the first time around. And while everyone I’ve spoken with agrees that this is the superior film of the two, I’ve yet to hear from someone who had no love for the first change course with this one. And that is a very important fact to arm yourself with before considering whether or not to see this one. But what if you dug the everloving shit out of the first one and two more hours in that universe is exactly what the doctor ordered? Well you, my friend, are in for a treat. Because this is every bit as good as Hellboy, but taken to a level (and to places) Hellboy was never allowed to really go last time. What I love about the Hellboy universe is that it is the most “comic-booky” of the comic book movies. While every single superhero title to date has been handled by studios that have strived to root the films somewhere within the real, readily identifiable universe – del Toro has given the big high hard one to that idea and uttered two, very important, very distinctive words. Fuck it. This shouldn’t feel ANYTHING like the real world. It’s about the son of the devil for fucks sake. It’s a big giant demonic creature who shaves his horns, eats nachos, loves kittens and beats things to a bloody, messy pulp when they interfere with his breakfast. And THAT’S the universe del Toro puts on the screen. Everything all the other guys have put so eloquently I can only second. You’re gonna see the Troll Market and flip the fuck out. You’re gonna watch the elemental sequence and just feast upon the sumptuous character design. You’re going to look at the elves and see them at once creepy and beautiful at the same time, like Michael Moorcock’s Elric of Melnibone brought to life at last. The visual palate here is just utterly indescribable. It’s like dropping your hallucinogen of choice only to then be handed a Brian Froud book for the first time in your life. There just aren’t words to describe what you’re going to see. And yet as beautiful, incredible and mind splinteringly gorgeous this is, it is not any of these images that keep popping into my mind as I think back on this film. A demon, a telepathic fishman, a ghost in a robot suit and a mega hot ultra vixen pyrokinetic all walk into a room together surrounded by 4900 suits of indestructible armor and you pause to think for a moment – how the fuck did we get here? What eight year old sucking down 3 too many Yoohoo’s dreamt up this assembly of critters? And then you realize you don’t care, because the 8-year-old inside you wants to hear the rest of this other 8-year-old’s story. What I love about these films is that they put me in a universe where this kind of thing is somewhat normal. It is a universe where weird shit happens – and the weirdest of the weird get all that shit worked out. Del Toro never brings it back to earth, never tries to make it feel real. The more four-color the better. These are fantasy movies, adventure films crafted by someone deeply in love with source material. And this one rocks even harder than its predecessor. These are exactly the type of films I had grown up watching. They sure as fuck were the movie I was WISHING at the time I could grow up with. And God bless Guillermo for giving them to me now. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED if you loved the first. Not so much if you that boat left you at the dock last time. Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. Massawyrm
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Readers Talkback
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  • July 11, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST


    by DragonNinja

    This sounds great!

  • July 11, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Cannot wait for this

    by bellwether

    I loved the first one despite its flaws, so this is for me.

  • July 11, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    No matter what

    by rogueleader66

    These guys at AICN cannot get a break. Everytime they review a film, no matter what they write they get shit for it, and it's getting really old. It seems like so many people come here to bitch and whine. Grow up already.

  • July 11, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Oh yea, HBII

    by rogueleader66

    I loved the first one, and this one, from what I have heard so far, does not dissapoint. I hope GdT doesn't wait too long to make a third, HB is a great character and deserves a trilogy.Besides, Ron Pearlman is 58, but then again if Sean Connery and Harrison Ford can do action in their 60's i guess RP can too.

  • July 11, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    read the last paragraph.

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    thats all i'm reading. i'll see this as spoiler free as i possibly can.

  • July 11, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    also, for those who haven't seen it,

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    there is a little animated comic book style "prequel" floating around. tells about the origin of the Golden Army, told to a young HB as a bedtime story.<p>i imagine this is old news to most, but whateves.

  • July 11, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Summer fun, nothing more.

    by NiceGuyEddie19

    This is the era of the comic book movie. There isn't enough room in my geeky heart for me to become a die-hard HB fan because I'm already too jazzed about other projects in the works. It's the appetizer before TDK.

  • July 11, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    I liked the first one...

    by Marxeffect

    even though I was slightly disappointed by the lack of scope and creature (obviously for budgetary reasons) so i'm really looking forward to this! My girlfriend was just eh about the first one but im sure she'll cope. she'll catch a back hander otherwise :)

  • July 11, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Guillermo del Toro completes me. Oh, and...

    by FlickaPoo

    he just…gets me too. I'm not mocking. I'm very very serious.

  • July 11, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST


    by g-ride9000

  • July 11, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Del Toro / Perlman '08!!!

    by HoboCode

  • July 11, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST


    by g-ride9000

    You are really complaining about the over use of "Bukaki" terminology.<P><P>REALLY...WOW<P><P>Because the name KINGDOM_OF_THE_CRYSTAL_SKULLFUCK isn't pretty much an allusion to jizz, and head.... I hate invalid "letter to the editor" type posts, but you take the hypocrite taco fucking douche de toilet. Stop making this place more lame.

  • July 11, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    "douche de toilet"

    by HoboCode

    Thank you for my first AICN laugh of the week.

  • July 11, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    The First Hellboy

    by Stormshadow4life

    I didn't like it too much the first time I saw it. It was ok, but kind of meh. The second time I saw I enjoyed it a lot more. It still had some issues near the end, but I truly did enjoy the movie. I'll be seeing this tonight, hopefully it'll rock

  • July 11, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Question for Massa....

    by Kentucky Colonel

    Do you get a sunburn on your forehead from wearing your cap backwards? <p> Man, I hate that!

  • July 11, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Pan's Labyrinth

    by alansmitheepodcast

    was narrative tripe

  • July 11, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST


    by kwisatzhaderach


  • July 11, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Where are the Meet Dave Reviews

    by TVguy4566

    Ain't It Cool News is really dropping the ball on this by having tons of HellBoy 2 reviews, but not the hippest, edgiest, most balls out funny movie of the summer. Meet Dave might even top the Love Guru for one of the funniest movies of all time and not a word. I am hearing that this might be Eddie Murphy's best comedic performance since Norbit. It is that good.

  • July 11, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST


    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet


  • July 11, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    this is a don't shoot your man juice on it

    by thebearovingian

    Even Harry knows this. Yes, Harry. Think about that for a second. Starts to burn ya up inside doesn't it?

  • July 11, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    I Love AICN Headlines

    by Slippy

    It gives me a funny feeling in my pants.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Hellboy 1 was decent

    by Slippy

    but the characters were pretty bland. The main antagonist was boring as hell. This one does look pretty good though.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:15 a.m. CST

    This article has

    by OptimusCrime

    the gayest headline ever. Then Wyrm mentions how he is "out and proud" within the article.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    I thought this film *DID* fix something

    by Mullah Omar

    Didn't they drop the human and add more of the fish dude? That's a pretty significant change that should probably make this better than the first film. <br> <br> Also, if there is not an anticlimactic minute-long second ending fighting a giant squid, that would be a step up from the original. <br> <br> I liked the first film, but there was plenty of room for improvement, and I hope this film deliversthe goods.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Hellboy 1 was an above average comic book flick but...

    by fassbinder79

    ...Let's not kid ourselves. We're all just waiting for Dark Knight. Its Nolan's summer we're just living in it.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Hellboy 2 was good...

    by Docbrowneye

    but not as good as this...

  • July 11, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    You had me at Guillermo

    by Chanoc

    Guys like him makes us Mexicans really proud! I love his original material, I love his take on HB, I´m sure I´ll love his Tolkien vision and I would love, I mean really LOVE to see him play in the Star Wars universe (even if it is on a TV series)

  • July 11, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Hellboy was just kinda forgettable. not good not bad

    by BMacSmith

    this one looks like a bunch of fucking muppets, but i'll see it.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST


    by fassbinder79

    Thanks for the link. That was fucking hilarious! Dark Knight is going to RULE...And that spoof really hit the spot!

  • July 11, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Another nice little review!

    by Aeghast

    Thanks Massawyrm

  • July 11, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST


    by waitingimpatientlyforingloriousbastards

    might be a hypocrite with his name, but I completely agree. Everytime these AICN guys talk about receiving head from Wall-E or their man-juice gushing everywhere it pretty much turns me off to the movie itself, which it shouldn't, because it's not the movie's fault that these guys can't write without expletives and disgusting sexual references.

  • July 11, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    The title of this review is disgusting, well done Massa

    by James Ford Coppola

    Is this the way you guys here have chosen to attract attention? What happened to the old days when quality writing was actually important? Are those times gone forever? It seems lately you resort to methods used by crappy tabloids. Mr Beaks' review of Wanted especially bugged me, but I thought he wrote that crap on purpose since while he spent a great deal of time on Chud, he needs to build his rep from scratch here, so while it bugged me I understood it. But it looks like this tabloid shit is here to stay. The worst part of it is that I would have read the article since I enjoyed your previous review, but now I'm not so sure. Thankfully there's always Vern and Moriarty to restore my faith. Without them and the Talkback this site would be awful

  • July 11, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    I just found myself in a weird place!

    by chrth

  • July 11, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    del Toro admits his love of

    by skimn

    Harryhausen and the late great Stan Winston, of practical effects, and calls Dick Smith, Rick Baker and Rob Bottin a trio of gods.<p>So why do so many of his films seem awash in digital effects, and sometimes downright bad CGI? This does look beautiful tho.

  • July 11, 2008, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Hold on, Massa: Nobody LOVED HB1

    by Raymar

    Right? Sure, it got a lot of good will and all but to say this one is "as good as the first one" gets me nervous...

  • July 11, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Hellboy is the dumbest superhero ever!

    by ganymede3010

    Wow, lets make a superhero out of a Demon that uses a handgun as weapon! Splendid! Hellboy is ghey as hell.

  • July 11, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Hellboy 1...

    by TrumpyEatsPotatoes

    ...was not a great film. Stupid everyman character, and it all started to break down near the end. I mean, the elements were all there--just didn't come together. But that's a complaint I had with the first two HB comics, anyway--I've found both "Seed of Destruction" and "Wake the Devil" a wee bit convoluted. But after those first two, it really picks up.

  • July 11, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    That said...

    by TrumpyEatsPotatoes

    Hellboy 2 is looking fantastic, hopefully fixing all the issues plaguing the first.

  • July 11, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Proplem with super hero films for me

    by theyreflockingthisway

    has always been trying to put them in the "real world". <br><br> It's been my problem with the TV show "Heroes" the most. Everone was raving about how great it was - how it's super heroes done in a realistic down-to-earth way. Boooooring. <br><br>When I see super heroes I want to see cool characters with crazy costumes beating the crap of each other with amazing powers and destroying buildings and stuff. None of this "oh no I'm a cheerleader with powers - why am I a freak!?" Then accidently getting knocked out by her prom date. <br><br> You've broken the reality rule with the powers anyway, so why not go further? Of course some like Batman work best in a more real world but it's good to see the likes of Hellboy kept well within the realms of fantasy. I wasn't a huge fan of the first but I enjoy it and I can appreciate it so I'll definately look forward to seeing this one.

  • July 11, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST


    by buffywrestling

    I've been there before, by accident. Creepy, isn't it?

  • July 11, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Why o why didn't they give Del Toro...

    by Darth Macchio

    ...the last 2 Potter films?!?!?! I and all that...but I think Del Toro would be about as perfect as you could get next to Curon for the last movies.<p>Needless to say I'm hella-psyched to see this...have been in mad-lust with Selma since she did that movie with Sarah-Michelle Gellar...loved the first one, etc..<p>And Massa...great reference to Nuada as similar aesthetically to Elric of Melnibone from the Michael Moorecock books...I loved that series and have been both excited and doubtful about possible translations to the big screen. Speaking of which, perhaps after Hobbit and maybe any Lovecraftian projects...Del Toro could be the one to helm the Elric saga? It's not remotely standard fantasy and would be right down his alley in terms of what he could bring to the project...<p>Del Toro to do Moorecock's Elirc saga!! Make it so!

  • July 11, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    They should stick more to the source material

    by shitstorm23

    I know Mignola was involved in all this, but it's just too far out from the Hellboy comics. It's not as dark a tone or as interesting with so much mythology packed in it. The Liz/Hellboy thing is so gay and unnecessary. I wish they'd just stick with the right hand of doom stuff showing the beginnings of the world, his parents and how the hand came to Hellboy, along with the different prophecies of his future, that's fun shit. \ They were originally going to do the Almost Colussus, which would have been cool too.

  • July 11, 2008, 1:48 p.m. CST

    yeah, I also thought the first one was just okay

    by Spandau Belly

    Massa mentions that Del Toro doesn't try to "fix" anything that went "wrong" in the first film, but I heard they totally dumped that main character named John Mayer but who was not a douchebag adult contemporary singer. I mean, wasn't that John Mayer dude supposed to ground this film in reality? I thought he was supposed to be our everyman's perspective window into this wacky Hellboy universe. I just bring this up because all this review does is talk about how Del Toro would never do such a thing.

  • July 11, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST

    ya....he dumped the meyers character

    by bacci40

    because he didnt want him in there in the first place...the suits interfered...they wanted a love triangle...they wanted a normal guy in the cast because they thought movie audiences couldnt relate to freaks only...fuck em...we love freaks cuz we are freaks

  • July 11, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST


    by Shadow Warrior

    some people actually give a shit about hellboy huh...

  • July 11, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST


    by Gilkuliehe

    What are you, fucking BLIND?! Del Toro is perhaps THE guy still maing magic with practical and make up effects. He uses CGI, of course, but his love for the practical is goddamn undeniable. Have you seen BLADE II? The reapers were AMAZING, and so were Pan, the eyefingers monster and Hellboy himself. So in other words: What the hell are you talking about?

  • July 11, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Self Parody

    by BackwardGalaxy

    I think it's wonderful that you guys self-parody yourselves with the whole overdose of references to things like "manly love juice". It's great. You're like digital versions of Adam West and William Shatner and Christopher Walken... and... um... Jim Belushi.

  • July 11, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Thought the first one was...

    by Pawprint

    Bland arse gravy. Despite the fact that Del Toro usually gets a 'pass' from this site, I will see this on DVD just to see what the fuss is about.

  • July 11, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Hellboy rules, Del Toro rules GET OVER IT

    by Conans Sword

    some people here should just stop over analyzing everything and enjoy a film for what it is not what you think it should have become had you been in charge.

  • July 11, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    I wish my girl blew me as much as this site blows GDT

    by Garbageman33

    That'd be nice.

  • July 11, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    I wish your girl blew you as much as she blows me

    by topaz4206

    I'd get a lot more shit done!<br><br>This movie was phenomenal, and quickly jumped on the fast track to my top 10 for 2008.<br><br>I'm straight, so I can't promise that I'll blow you, Guillermo, but next time I see you, I can commit to a good ball-juggling.

  • July 11, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Hellboy Will Rock!

    by Etrigan_

    Really looking forward to this! But, now that you've mentioned Elric, I'd sure like to see a Del Toro take on The Dreaming City. Anybody else? And for all of those who don't like how these fuckers write, it's easy, go some place else...This isn't your website it's theirs.

  • July 11, 2008, 3:10 p.m. CST


    by Etrigan_

    I agree with Darth Macchio... I'm Okay with that.

  • July 11, 2008, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Is there a movie that opens that someone doesn't gush over?

    by kabong

    Duh, duh.

  • July 11, 2008, 3:59 p.m. CST


    by AdrianVeidt


  • July 11, 2008, 4:04 p.m. CST

    I'm there this weekend!

    by DoctorWho?

    The elf king instantly reminded me of Elric when I first saw this trailer. Like the poster said above, Del Toro would be a trusted choice to bring the Eternal Champion to life. Give it to Del Toro or go with an animated version. Not too fond of any H.P Lovecraft being attempted...forget At The Mountains Of Madness...H.P's writings are unfilmable literary masterworks that play better in the mind of the reader. The Hobbit and straight to the Young Kingdoms.

  • July 11, 2008, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Christ..this site is fixated on bodily secretions

    by conspiracy

    Pussy juice, man juice, jizz, spunk...Jebus have you guys all been drinking Mt.Dew? Not that I don't appreciate everyones efforts to bring some fun to the review format...but is Mori the only one who can compose a review that does not involve Jizz, or hyperbolic statements that lay bare their fragile emotional state?

  • July 11, 2008, 4:52 p.m. CST

    Damn You Michael Bay


    Damn You Michael Bay

  • July 11, 2008, 4:56 p.m. CST

    If anyone cares...

    by Mechasheeva

    I think this movie is proof that directors with vision should be left to do what they want. Compare this to the first one and the difference is clear. An excerpt of what I'm talking about from my review: Del Toro comes down squarely on the side of magic, making this an answer to the question posed by Pan’s Labyrinth: which is better, the wonder of imagination or the harsh coldness of reality? But it’s more than that: it’s a great big middle finger to the corporate system that has ruined Del Toro’s projects in the past. There’s a line about shopping malls and parking lots taking over the world of magic, and I don’t think it’d be too much of a stretch to suggest that he’s talking about corporate studio heads telling Del Toro his movies had to be this or that. Given the freedom to do what he wants, Guillermo takes the opportunity to come down on the side of soul and imaginative invention instead of money and greed, and he’s going to take you with him. What’s on display here is proof that films work better as works of art and not products. It seems that studios may be beginning to realize this as more concessions are made to directors: the casting of Robert Downey, Jr. in Iron Man, the reported running time of The Dark Knight, and the absolutely bizarre display that is Hellboy II. We need more of this, and Guillermo knows it and wants to talk about it. If you love movies, if you want more visionary directors like Del Toro and Nolan to be given creative control of their own movies, you’ll support this film in the theatre and send the message that Del Toro is proclaiming loud and clear here: imagination, excitement, and love of the craft make movies great, not big box office returns. Box office comes to movies that deserve it, usually not to soulless corporate products.

  • July 11, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST

    that is the worst headline ever for a story

    by prajadhipok


  • July 11, 2008, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Del Toro wants a trilogy

    by drewlicious

    So what is going to do to wrap all this up? Nazi scientists & robot gorillas? Hecatee? Baba Yaga? Or is he going to go all out on the Universal monsters like he was hoping? Now that would be awesome. Hellboy vs Frankenstein? Suck it Van Helsing.

  • July 11, 2008, 5:12 p.m. CST


    by 1st and only

    the right arm on that samurai pic would need 2 elbows to hold the sword in that position...and he appears to have no neck. shoulda' got me to draw it...

  • July 11, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST

    You lost me at "mega hot ultra vixen pyrokinetic"

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    Did Megan Fox take over the role from Selma Blair? Or did Massa simply confuse her with Salma Hayek again? 'Cause Selma Blair is STRICTLY Katie Holmes-level "cute" on her BEST days.

  • July 11, 2008, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Saw it

    by Joker

    Its great if you are 8 years old. Its great if you liked the first one but thought that there was too much character development. Its great if you thought that the first one needed to be more like the 3 stooges. I thought the first one was pretty decent, but this sequel is horrible. It looks great....I will give it that... But I left the theater really bummed out.

  • July 11, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Hellboy 2 = PoPcorn flick

    by FuryofthefilmFan

    PopCorn flick means, Fun but forgettable.

  • July 11, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST


    by skimn

    No not blind, maybe just more picky because del Toro is such a visual artist.<p> The instances I refered to are the Hellbaby and the ninja sword fight in Blade 2 that was absolutely cartoonish at times. His use of GCI is to compliment not overtake...most of the time.

  • July 11, 2008, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Van Helsing can blow me

    by andrew coleman

    Hellboy 3!!! Hellboy vs. The Universal classic monsters. That would be so sweet. I disagree in the point that Del Toro does not try try to fix things. First off the villain in this film is bad ass unlike the first movie where Rasputin did nothing! I have my Dark Knight tickets already but this sure was a great flick to hold me nerdiness down till then.

  • July 11, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    Manlove & Love Juice

    by Spamgelus

    "Look, everyone, we all love to write stuff like 'Manlove' and 'Manly Love Juice' to prove we're not homophobes! Aren't we totally hip?" Seriously. Totally annoying. And it really won't score you any cred among the Friends Of Dorothy. I'm sure they all think you're annoying too.

  • July 11, 2008, 6:24 p.m. CST

    I will be busy...

    by Lucasblows

    ...doing anything else I can think of.

  • July 11, 2008, 6:42 p.m. CST


    by tenfingersofdoom

    no offense to you massawyrm because you didn't mention it. But every asshat revewer that mentions the cantina in relation to hellboy to needs the right hand of doom shoved up their ass.

  • July 11, 2008, 7:07 p.m. CST

    This movie is pretty great and will do well!

    by Dogmatic

    My theatre was packed out at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon with familie and all demographics represented. Meet Dave sure ain't gonna be Eddie Murphy's next come back movie and Journey to Center of the Earth 3D? Come onnn... Now of course next week it will get soundly dropped deep into 2nd place behind Dark Knight but this film has the legs to ride the #2 spot for at least a couple of weeks in Dark Knight's shadow and that coming off a #1 debut week. It's a great movie...give it a chance.

  • July 11, 2008, 7:39 p.m. CST

    I liked Hellboy quite a bit

    by hopewell1

    But I also really liked Myers and the love triangle bit...bummer the rest of the world didn't

  • July 11, 2008, 7:53 p.m. CST

    Ron Perlman HATES kittens and the color red...

    by TheGhostWhoLurks real life. My barber told me himself during my monthly trim.

  • July 11, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST

    What's more gross:

    by Rubiks Doob

    The way gay sex is often substituted for wit on this site or the fact that most of the writers for this site are ugly, fat fucks no gay man would ever look at twice?

  • July 11, 2008, 8:20 p.m. CST

    I totally agree regarding the 'fantasy' world.

    by JediRob

    I love that this is not REALLY reality. Like when they were in an around NY, specifically the Brooklyn Bridge, I know it's not really NY or Brooklyn. In many films that drives me CRAZY! But in this it's like ok, this is their movie, their world, their New York. I could get mad at that as much as seeing cities in a comic book itself.

  • July 11, 2008, 8:39 p.m. CST

    F'ing glorious

    by yeuxdesoir

    the best movie i've seen all year, including iron man. I'm so addicted to the cinema that regal has given me 8 free tickets since march :) so incredibly touching, funny, and bad ass that you just want to be a part of it.

  • July 11, 2008, 9:31 p.m. CST

    Really liked it, but...

    by critch

    WTF Was up with the Hellboy kid? Looked awful.

  • July 11, 2008, 9:54 p.m. CST

    We need a whole movie with the Angel of Death

    by krullboyisback

    that was probably one of the coolest "minor" characters I have ever seen in a movie...Johann Krauss was really cool too. . . Jeffrey Tambor's character does not do quite as much as in the first though, which was a little disappointing. I also liked the fact that the Golden Army was in County Antrim in Northern Ireland on the Giant's Causeway, an actual place BTW. . . Good movie, gotta see it again!

  • July 11, 2008, 10:50 p.m. CST

    As much as I HATEHATEHATE Family Guy...

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    ...I must begrudgingly admit that the Seth McFarlane smoke guy voice was pretty funny.

  • July 11, 2008, 10:55 p.m. CST

    Also, was it just me...

    by Nasty In The Pasty

    ...or did the hot Albino chick look like that Gelfling girl from The Dark Crystal? There was even the similar "injury to one character happens to another character" gimmick.

  • July 11, 2008, 11 p.m. CST

    Yes, Nasty she looked like the Gelfling, but

    by krullboyisback

    she was still smoking hot in a goth, slightly vampiric way. I really thought the movie was great, and this was the first movie in a long time where I wanted more stuff with the villian.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Just saw it

    by Half-Baked-Goggle-Box-Do-Gooder

    It's very, VERY Good. Too soon to tell if it's Great, but it blows away the first one...

  • July 11, 2008, 11:10 p.m. CST

    Half-Baked, what did you like the best?

    by krullboyisback

    I liked the Angel of Death, the Nuala/Nuada dichotomy, and Johann Krauss. . . there is so much bad ass things they can do with Johann I hope they make a 3rd and use him even more. . . "Johann Krauss, at your service"

  • July 11, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    WOW !

    by jones1899

    That movie blew. Loved Pans and all, but Toro, buddy, waht happened? This was dull, dumb, and dopey. The whole tone was just goofy. The creatures looked fake for the most part. The constant punching, flying across the screen in the Troll Market got old QUICK as did the laughably bad dialouge. Who could EVER like this? Perlman was good, oneor two creatures were ok, but this was a really bad movie. The only thing good about it is that it replaces KOTCS as the worst I've seen this year. What's happening to movies?

  • July 11, 2008, 11:16 p.m. CST

    Sorry you didn't like it Jones. . .

    by krullboyisback

    but how was the tone goofy? I thought Nuada was actually more than one dimensional, and Hellboy had some genuine introspective moments....I am not sure what was really dull about it, I kind wish a had a remote to "rewind" parts of the movie to watch over again, especially the title sequence, the prologue, the angel of death sequence, and just about everything with Johann Krauss...Not trying to dissuade you, sorry you didn't like it.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:27 p.m. CST


    by jones1899

    I'm pissed I didn't like it. Keep in mind that I'm not a comic book reader and didn't care for the first one either. My love for Pans made me give this one a shot and it just didn't work for me. The only nice looking creatures were the Angel of Death and the forest elemental. The plot itself (3 pieces of artifact joined to gain a power/finding a map) has all been done. The creature effects in the market were bad - that wolf/bat thing with the jersey accent looked like a big rubber suit. THe dialouge was cheesy (to me) and that whole sequence involved people getting punched then flying across the market ( ic ount 4 times this happened). The final battle made no sense - just swipe the damn crown already. THe golden army was a let down, but were at least nice enough to attack 3 by 3 instead of the 3 million that were present. I didn't like Abe's performance and yes the princess had a pretty bad performance as well. The the pregnancy and OH ITS TWINS! and all...I was just waiting to see something new or a good fight scene and never did. Young Hellboy looked bad, love story ...just goofy. A couple of chuckles at Hellboy mainly due to Perlmans performance, but thats about it. I am REALLY glad the true fans of the character liked it - I know how it feels to be really let down by a favorite movie series...DAMN that rubber tree and DAMN those swinging monkeys (as if these were the only problems with KOTCS)

  • July 11, 2008, 11:30 p.m. CST

    anyway that guillermo can put off the hobit for 2 years?

    by bacci40

    i want to see bruce as lobster johnson

  • July 11, 2008, 11:30 p.m. CST


    by Half-Baked-Goggle-Box-Do-Gooder

    Just the whole general tone of the movie - the characters HAVE character, instead of just concepts to move the plot along, the questions raised about why we make the moral choices that we do, the clear effort that went into parctical effects, Myers is gone, McFarlaine's vocals, the always-interesting "Noble" villain, the cat-eating troll scene - I got NO complaints about this one. Maybe in the morning, after I've slept on it, I'll pathologically find some faults, but right now I'm just plain happy.....

  • July 11, 2008, 11:31 p.m. CST

    Thanks for clarifying your points jones1899,

    by krullboyisback

    to be fair, I have never read the comics and I don't know the canon as well as others likely do in this TB. . .and in keeping with your KOTCS, I was a bit disappointed, but I am not sure if it is because I am getting older, or if movies are just not as good now. It has been a while since I saw a movie with an "Oh Shit" moment like the first time I saw the Matrix, the "blood club" scence in the first matrix, or the charge of the Rohirrim in The Return of the King. . . I just hope we get some of those "oh shit" moments in the Dark Knight, as well as Quantum of Solace.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Thanks Half-Baked

    by krullboyisback

    I want to see it again too. . .

  • July 11, 2008, 11:34 p.m. CST


    by jones1899

    I need TDK or QoS to be great. I really do. KOTCS f'd me up good. Even the sight of the poster pisses me off. Let's hope it's not an age thing, huh? That would be sad...

  • July 11, 2008, 11:35 p.m. CST

    Just saw Hellboy 2!

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    Just saw it...fucking FANTASTIC. Great story, incredible effects...will be going back tomorrow. I had severe reservations about McFarlane playing Kraus but he did a great job. The troll market scene was almost sensory overload, so much going on, so much crossing the screen with just a few seconds to see it. My favorite line from the film.."I'm not a baby, I'm a tumor."

  • July 11, 2008, 11:36 p.m. CST


    by PhxMonsterGuy

  • July 11, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    Ok. So I'm a fuckin retard.

    by jones1899

  • July 11, 2008, 11:39 p.m. CST

    I agree Jones1899, I think what hurt KOTCS

    by krullboyisback

    was the fact that it was made almost 20 years after Last Crusade. We grew up seeing Indy in the 1930s, seeing him the 1950s felt off. I knew that had to do it to maintain some chronological integrity, but come on. They surely could have done another Indy in the "Regarding Henry" phase of Harrison's career. The sad thing is I will probably have a better time seeing Mummy 3 than I did KOTCS

  • July 11, 2008, 11:43 p.m. CST


    by jones1899

    Its all about tone. I'll no doubt enjoy Mummy 3 more than KOTCS because I know what tone and type of movie to expect. Just turn off the brain for two hours and have fun with the CG and bad dialouge, etc. Indy is not the Mummy - or at least wasn't until KOTCS. That's what hurt it the most. It wasn't a bad Indy movie - it was worse - it wasn't an Indy movie at all. I would have killed for a decent more of the same flick.

  • July 11, 2008, 11:48 p.m. CST

    Jones1899, I read an article about the

    by krullboyisback

    winners and losers of the summer movie season on MSN....needless to say, the author said that Lucas and Speilberg were big time losers with KOTCS despite the box office. It makes me wonder though, since cinema is a business, one would think that profit maximumization outweighs artistic creativity opportunities all the time. I guess the point of my rant is that there is little incentive to make another "Raiders" type movie when studios know that a half assed effort will still bring in hundreds of millions

  • July 12, 2008, 12:24 a.m. CST

    Just got back from seeing this...SPOILERS...

    by thebigtexas

    This movie is flat out overrated. It's a D+ at best. I can't believe all the reviews I'm reading, and this was the general consensus with others that viewed this with me. Selma Blair is atrocious. There are numerous points that are just "WTF" moments. And I know it's a comic movie, and I have to suspend belief, but like the fact that millions of the "tooth fairy" creatures were around and only like 3 were on them at a time was ridiculous. How about the fact that Hellboy can fight the Prince's troll guy and go unscathed, but gets cut on the cheek from one measly thing. Abe is like a blue C3PO clone that is a total bitch. Why does the German guy even need the suit if he can survive without it? I'm not even going to get into the ending...and why do all of Del Toro's creatures/characters have to be Pan's Labyrinth throwaways. It's like he always wants some small eyed, stretch-faced guy with either small eyes, or eyes elsewhere on his body. It's sort of visionary, yet still not imaginative. This is a flat-out overrated film. I think a few early critics liked it, and people piggy-backed onto it. I'm sure I'll get skewered for writing this, but it had to be said. I'm very pumped for one week from now (The Dark Knight), but I hope critics aren't doing the same thing there. I doubt that to be the case, though.

  • July 12, 2008, 12:32 a.m. CST

    Didn't Suck

    by rbottoms

    I liked it, enjoyed the practical effects but I can pretty much tell it will disappear without a trace when TDK comes out.

  • July 12, 2008, 12:40 a.m. CST

    yea that

    by TheMcflyFarm

  • July 12, 2008, 12:41 a.m. CST

    that "I'm not a baby..." line

    by TheMcflyFarm

    Me and my friends were like "what the fuck!" and were laughing are asses off. Ok ya got me, I have no friends...

  • July 12, 2008, 12:59 a.m. CST

    This movie makes me worry for The Hobbit

    by AntoniusBloc

    I haven't seen Pan's Labyrinth yet, but this movie was just bad. As some of the posts above, the raving reviews are puzzling. This movie was way over the top, there was no constraint. It felt like a two hour sit-com that tried to be funny but wasn't. The serious moments and storyline just didn't seem to be taken seriously enough by Del Toro, not enough depth or explanation. My hope for the Hobbit is the source material, and hopefully the old LOTR team writes the screenplay, not DT.

  • July 12, 2008, 1:01 a.m. CST

    Thought it was average

    by culturecrash

    The story wasn't working for me and visual spectacle isn't enough to keep me interested. Del Toro is a visually imaginative director but his storytelling fails to resonate with me. The only characters I cared about were Nuanda and Nuala. The others simply moved from one action scene to another pausing just long enough in between for the obligatory action movie character/exposition scenes. A movie with Nuanda as the main character would've been more interesting to me. And if this is what passes as morally ambiguous or nuanced then I can't help but conclude that the collective intelligence is dropping. I'm not asking for SOPHIE'S CHOICE from an action movie but the character's dilemmas were sketchy and handled with a complete lack of subtlety. Another forgettable summer movie for me.

  • July 12, 2008, 1:01 a.m. CST

    Actually, PJ fire Del Toro before it's too late

    by AntoniusBloc


  • July 12, 2008, 1:16 a.m. CST

    Quantum of Solace teaser

    by chiefpapa

    Great merciful crap, looks like Bond has gone rogue in this one. Somewhere Dalton is laughing his ass off.

  • July 12, 2008, 1:58 a.m. CST

    You all need to get the Dark Knight's cock out of your mouth

    by PhxMonsterGuy

  • July 12, 2008, 2 a.m. CST

    So that's like 3 in 700 who didn't like it...

    by JediRob

    .... That's not bad.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:01 a.m. CST

    fucking bitches to the Dark Knight and you haven't even seen it

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    All you fucking closet cases need to stop fantasizing about Christian Bale fucking your tight pink holes. I am so GODDAMN tired of hearing you all slobber over a fucking film you haven't even seen yet. Jesus, just admit you're big ol faggots and get it over with already.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:03 a.m. CST

    and cultureclash...sure you're not boy george from cultureclub?

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    Jezuus christ...could you be any more of a pussy. What a lame ass review. "Failed to resonate"??? Surprised you took the cock out of your mouth long enuf to think of that great line.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:06 a.m. CST

    the bigtexas...what a dumb shit

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    I am so goddamn tired of assholes like you slamming ever film that is not Batman. Okay, we get it, you want to be Batman's butt bitch. But that doesn't make every other film a piece of shit.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:06 a.m. CST

    the bigtexas...what a dumb shit

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    I am so goddamn tired of assholes like you slamming ever film that is not Batman. Okay, we get it, you want to be Batman's butt bitch. But that doesn't make every other film a piece of shit.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:24 a.m. CST

    Just saw it

    by kungfuhustler84

    while I have always been a huge movie fan and have had ambitions of getting into the movie industry, Hellboy II is the one film that I think has really inspired me to dig in my heels and really work to create my own films and spread them around. This movie had so much soul, so much excitement, so much creative designing and art and action, that I simply cannot see myself working in any other field any longer. Del Toro has shown me how successful a film maker can be at merging perfect action-packed fun with incredibly meticulous artistic design, and charming characterizations. While this is definitely not the best movie I have ever seen, I was just in awe of the movie. It was so obvious how much time was put into every little detail. That scene at the market is still spinning in my head. Well done man. Really entertaining, creative, wonderful stuff.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:25 a.m. CST

    Oh and that elf prince?

    by kungfuhustler84

    Total badass. I know he was the bad guy, but I was almost rooting for him the whole time. The action scenes with him were pretty incredible. I wonder, did Luke do all his own stunts? It was seriously some of the best screen fighting I have seen in an American film since maybe the first Matrix movie. And I have seen A LOT of fight scenes in my day.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:26 a.m. CST

    Damn Massawyrm

    by kungfuhustler84

    Akira Kurosawa is my favorite film director ever. Seven Samurai is my favorite film. Why do you keep busting out these cool-as-hell pictures at the bottom of your posts?

  • July 12, 2008, 2:54 a.m. CST

    MonsterGuy, you're pretending to be a douchebag from IDIOCRACY

    by culturecrash

    aren't you? I tried to help you out there by using the word douchebag. With your predilection ... sorry ... inclination (still too big for ya, tough guy?) for all things cock I'll try to use those words more so that I don't sound faggy. Why don't I just call you MonsterGay from now on. You know, to avoid the whole sounding faggy thing.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:54 a.m. CST

    This fucking site OVERRATED this movie

    by merricks14yearoldson

    It was a piece of shit.

  • July 12, 2008, 3:10 a.m. CST

    Oh yeah one qualm

    by kungfuhustler84

    Hellboy in boy form. Hideous.

  • July 12, 2008, 5:24 a.m. CST

    Batman vs Hellboy

    by Conans Sword

    anyone comparing Hellboy to The Dark Knight is a fucking Retard. Theyre both comicbook movies, oh well done!! i didnt notice!! ones about a demon spawn of a witch who fights against the paranormal and the other is about a guy who fights crime in a bat suit!

  • July 12, 2008, 6:06 a.m. CST

    Guillermo del Toro fucking rocks.

    by palewook

    I sat through Hellboy 2 with a stupid smile on my face for at least half the movie. And the other half tended to leave me just as amazed.

  • July 12, 2008, 6:42 a.m. CST


    by dioxholster

    check it out my friends:

  • July 12, 2008, 7:28 a.m. CST

    The Occult and Changes

    by DocMHumphrey

    I very much enjoyed the first "HellBoy" film and it didn't sit well with most people, because frankly Hellboy in itself is off-beat. It has a different feel and frankly, that is its appeal to most people. Some of the changes made from the comic were better, for example the survival of Dr. Bruttenholm, which really developed the Hellboy/Father storyline. I personally didn't care for the Liz/Hellboy romantic relationship. It ruined the dynamic between Abe/Hellboy/Liz and made it too one-sided. The character of Liz in general being turned from a character who wants to be "normal", (who is more capable of fitting in that Abe or Hellboy ever will), became a manic depressive with relationship issues. On the other hand, the changes made to Johann Krauss made Hellboy II a lot more fun.<br><br>There are no doubts that this second film is beautiful and fun, but it felt more Harry Potter than Hellboy. Del Toro does bring magic to the screen and I was very happy with how things turned out, but in the end it did not feel like a Hellboy story. Point in case, the colors were too bright for a Hellboy feel. Open the comic for God's sake. The only bright color might be the red Hellboy on the cover....maybe.<br><br>"Geeking out" about Diagon....I mean "Troll" Alley? You need your geek card revoked and you can go stand in the corner with all the college girls who read "Harry Potter" and listen to "Dave Matthews" who self-proclaim their "geek" street-cred and more than likely, receive the juvenille ejaculatory title of this so-called review.<br><br>The whole basis of Hellboy that is sorely missed, is that fact they deal with the Occult and other Religious oddities, which makes for the best Hellboy storylines. This is the also the fault of Indiana Jones.<br><br>The best possible way to experience this film is to go in with expectations of fun and excitement, and enjoy it for what it is:<br><br>A Fairy Tale that just so happens to have Hellboy in it. Wrecking shit.

  • July 12, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    One more thing...******SPOILER******

    by DocMHumphrey

    The film went down the superhero baby route.<br><br>When filmmakers go down that road...there is no turning back.<br><br>Why couldn't Liz and Hellboy just have a strong enough love for each other?<br><br>Example: "The Empire Strikes Back"<br>Han Solo lowers into the chamber....<br>Leia: Han! I'm Pregnant!<br>Han: Fuck, there goes the next film.<br><br>Babies in the film=<br><br>Three Men and a baby! Abe, Johann, and Hellboy have a new adventure filled with diaper changing jokes and babies that can't stop crying no matter what they do! Meanwhile, Liz is now suffering from depression and isn't seen for most of the film, until the third act in which the babies are captured/kidnapped!<br><br>Examples of films/sequels gone to crap with the gimmick of babies/heroes's children:<br>Ghostbusters II<br>Superman Returns<br>The Mummy II<br>The Legend of Zorro<br>Shrek III<br>Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menance (just shows how scenes with children/child actors can ruin a film...out of all complaining and Jar Jar hate everyone has missed the most ackward shot in film history, The Baby Greedo High Five During the Fucking Pod Race Scene)<br><br>Please everyone, feel free to add to the list!

  • July 12, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    cultureclub = Mister Peabody

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    My God man, do you have ANY friends left or have you bored them all to an early grave with your insufferable Mister Peabody routine???

  • July 12, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Christ this movie sucked!

    by Atticus Finch

    Easily the most overrated film of the summer. The whole thing just felt like it was trying too hard. I didn't care about Hellboy with Liz, I didn't care about the villain, and the fights were meh...been there, done that. Abe is the only one I liked seeing. Oh well, only a few more days until we all kneel before the Bat!

  • July 12, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST


    by SuperrrrJordi

  • July 12, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Sorry, but this just isn't a very good film...

    by Pdorwick

    Very poor character development, meandering, anchorless story and amazingly self-indulgent art direction. I know Del Toro is a fan-boy king but come on guys, this film is sure proof that not everything he touches turns to gold. This is a classic bad Hollywood sequel. That all.

  • July 12, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Great "villain" *spoilers*

    by Biggie Kaiju

    I agree with those who wanted more screen time for Prince Nuada. He pleaded for his father and sister to join him, made valid points about humanity, mourned his friend Mr. Wink (who was awesome), and even asked Hellboy to spare the forest elemental. He hated humans, but was not a lying, cheating, corrupt evil fuck. Truthfully, I was almost hoping for an ending where Hellboy would don the crown and take command of the Golden Army. Overall a great movie, but of course not the I-came-in-my-pants-and-can-die-happy flawless masterpiece others found it to be. Krauss was a highlight; the scene with him and Hellboy in the locker room was fucking hilarious. As was seeing Abe drunk and slurring his speech. The Golden Army reassembling themselves was classic (for that matter, the opening titles were equally sweet). It was when the guy with a cathedral for a head showed up that I realized how much I envy Hollywood for having access to the best hallucinogens. And I can't wait for the official "Dark Knight" talkback. That should provide days, if not weeks, of entertainment.

  • July 12, 2008, 9:53 a.m. CST guys are soooo funny

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    I just hope that everyone who hated Hellboy 2 critiques the Dark Knight with the same intense scrutiny. I seriously doubt it and have donned my raincoat to protect me from all your spooge as you start whacking off to it.

  • July 12, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    PhxMonsterGuy and everyone isn't being critical

    by g-ride9000

    You can compliment the fast paced story, the action, design, and SFX. I have, because I believe this movie nailed it in those dept. Hellboy II is made solidly and with more heart and creativity than many films that have come out this summer. There were some CORNY FLAWS, that detracted from the experience to me.<P><P>1. Pregnancy, it didn't belong, it seemed like lazy writing in the middle of a movie that everything felt well thought out.<P><P>2. The world hates Hellboy for 1 scene. The press identity plot never rapped Hellboy famous or infamous? One more scene. That's all I'd ask.<p><P>3. Why is prince so good at swords and fighting, and his sister is a complete pussy. Girls can't fight, shes only 4000 years old, why can't she learn to defend herself? What was she good at besides fucking with Abe's heart...oh and running slow<P><P>So i conclude that this movie is fun, satisfying, well paced and somewhat flawed. It's like having sex with me...any takers??

  • July 12, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Saw it... didn't love it.

    by DEX

    Like some of the other posters here, I'm a little confused by the rapturous reviews. I mean, I like Guillermo Del Toro and I've been reading Hellboy comics since he first appeared in John Byrne's Next Men but this movie left me cold. I felt it was a little derivative (Del Toro's previous films, Men In Black), the humour fell flat, the romance wasn't convincing and I just didn't feel that the story had drive or excitemtent. A lot of people have love for the practical effects but the creatures still looked a bit rubbery and wirework was sometimes still apparent - if I want nostalgia, I'll put in some dvds of old movies with rubber creatures. On a minor note, it also bugged me that they made Abe Sapien a complete ineffectual weenie, like Kif from Futurama. So I guess, the review was accurate - I thought HB was ok and so I thought HB2 was just ok too... Don't believe the hype!

  • July 12, 2008, 12:42 p.m. CST


    by slone13

    Why are you apologizing?

  • July 12, 2008, 3:52 p.m. CST

    I didn't love the first, but thought it could have been great

    by crayon

    Biggest issues was that Rasputin was crap, and it felt like the structure was off and none of the pay-offs were earned with so much being crammed into it's run-time. I'm more interested in if a sequel has delt with that.

  • July 12, 2008, 4:35 p.m. CST


    by jbrinegar

    Yes, I always wanted to be first!

  • July 12, 2008, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Super Entertaining

    by Pabodie

    The elemental alone was well worth the trip, but this movie had me lock/stock for the duration. For those of you who question the amount of character development, I think you might have missed some stuff. The scene of HB blowing himself out the window to the paparazzi below alone was worth 10 min. of dialogue wheeling ala Spiderman, the X-Men or most other big comic flix. Awesome. Just mesmerizingly awesome. GdT has teed us up for the Hobbit with a bang, and I sure hope we get a HB3: Obliviondom.

  • July 12, 2008, 5:33 p.m. CST

    See You Next n sday!

    by DilbertTwoSeven

    Anyone else catch this really obscure reference to John Landis on the movie marquee? Unless I am mistaken, if you filled in the missing letters, the theatre would have been screening "See You Next Wednesday." Landis' trademark, plugged into the Hellboy universe by some geeky set designer/decorator... Look for it!

  • July 12, 2008, 6:38 p.m. CST

    Forest God

    by Alientoast

    Actually, the first thing that popped into my mind during that scene was the end of Princess Mononoke. The angry forest god, and how when he died all the life started to spring up where his blood touched.

  • July 12, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    The best scene... *SPOILER*

    by NiceGuyEddie19

    Was Abe and HB getting drunk on Tecate Lite. At least it was the funniest.

  • July 12, 2008, 7:25 p.m. CST

    Looks like we'll have to wait 4 years for the next

    by drewlicious

    Assuming this one does well. I wouldn't mind seeing this story wrap up, not to mention seeing what pyro/devil baby will look like. I'm assuming we'll get the chance to meet Hellboy's father next time around. Should be interesting. Although I wouldn't mind seeing him fight that Nazi with the cyborg gorilla.

  • July 12, 2008, 8:11 p.m. CST


    by Go24Day5

    This movie was aweful! In fact, it is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life! Let me first add that I have only walked out of a movie one time, and if I wasn't with a big group of friends who liked the first one, I would have done so today. I was seriously starting to nod off halfway thru the movie. I did not see the first one, and am not an anti-comic book guy, just a regular movie fanatic. I think the acting in this movie was absolutely atrocious. The prince's sister led the group followed by Selma Blair and then Blue C3P0 Abe. Perleman was actually kinda cool and George Bluth was surprisingly good, but it did not make up for the lack of acting of the others. The whole drunk singing together and the forestal element were really retarded. There were way too many WTF moments and I could not honestly ever say that this would make me want to watch the first one. Like someone else said above, this could ruin the Hobbit for me.

  • July 12, 2008, 8:13 p.m. CST

    Not too mention...

    by Go24Day5

    My friends hated it just as much as I did. We did get humor out of it though, laughing because of how stupid many of the secondary characters were or the acting.

  • July 12, 2008, 9:26 p.m. CST

    I HATED Hellboy

    by robertplant

    and HELLBOY 2 was FUH KING AH SUM.

  • July 12, 2008, 11:45 p.m. CST

    Wait a sec, GDT did Men In Black?!?

    by AntoniusBloc

    Now I'm really worried for the Hobbit. I will keep reassuring myself that as long as it is a good screenplay, the director can't mess it up too bad.

  • July 13, 2008, 2:42 a.m. CST


    by Second Try

    You and your friends are idiots.

  • July 13, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    I just wish

    by Second Try

    Ron Perlman was younger, so we could get more sequels

  • July 13, 2008, 2:45 a.m. CST


    by Second Try

    And the first Hellboy was great!

  • July 13, 2008, 3:30 a.m. CST

    Ron's age will not play a factor in sequels.

    by JediRob

    Del Toro being a giant director will. Ron's 58 now, and he pulled this one off. It's stunt doubles and effects for most of the crazy stuff. No matter how old he gets they can slap some make-up on him and he'll deliver the goods.

  • July 13, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST


    by Go24Day5

    I am wrong that the prince's sister was butchering the movie in every scene she was in? Or I was wrong that it was very cheesy when the prince said "Good doggie" after licking blood from a sword? And you honestly liked the cheesy music and song selections in this movie, not to mention the actors singing in this? Don't get me wrong, I was actually intrigued when they showed Hellboy as a child, but I think it was all downhill from there. Again, I am not a hater, just a movie fan in general, and am not an idiot for not liking this movie.

  • July 13, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    Cool visuals, Shit movie

    by Bricktops hammer

    If you care about plot or dialogue, skip it. I was shocked at how bad the script was. Not one funny joke, and they tried a lot. The local record gave it 3 1/2 stars, they must be on crack.

  • July 13, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Hellboy 1 was much better for horror fans

    by Chakaconair

    If you're a horror fan or fan of Poe and Lovecraft and loved the first movie like myself you will be extremely disappointed with Hellboy II. Hellboy II is for the Narnia crowd.

  • July 13, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    I'm actually angry

    by Bricktops hammer

    at the positive reviews I'm seeing all over the place for this debacle. Has the world gone mad???I wish I had 4 arms so I could give this movie 4 thumbs down. Darkness, ladies and gentleman Darkness

  • July 13, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Two things that bothered me

    by lecter1914

    First, I'll just say I liked the film overall. The creatures were cool without being overwhelming and some of the fights, especially the last one were breathe taking. Ive never been so confused as to what was real stunt work and what was wire work and CG. I also thought the Princess was the hottest thing in the movie even with the Demon makeup. But, I kept getting a nagging feeling about why Hellboy or anyone else just sat there and let the prince posture around instead of just...shooting him? If the fate of the world was at stake I think I would just have to let Abe take one for the team and kill his girlfriend that he knew for one day. Also...I was bothered that Liz waits until the end to tell Hellboy shes pregnant rather than just saying it in the beginning. Besides those two very minor nitpicks I was blown away.

  • July 13, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Hellboy II = Best movie of the summer so far!!!!

    by HoboCode

    I can't even decribe how much I loved this film. Del Toro is GOD!!!

  • July 13, 2008, 1:22 p.m. CST

    The movie rocked! Go Elric!

    by Mr.LordBronco

    My first post on talkback-and I have to agree with Massa on this one-the movie was great. I can see how people might have problems with it, my buddies were checking their watches waiting to go watch UFC Cage matches and whatnot, but I thought it's pacing and vision were the best thing I've seen yet this summer. I think it bodes well for the eventual Hobbit movie-and I hope it does well. GDT worked his butt off on this production, shooting all first unit in hungary or budapest, and I think the work shows. I can see that the hell baby-young Hellboy scenes were kind of off putting to people, but the kick as Glavie Fu from the villian was just plain nifty. I'm not gonna apologize for a guy getting an academy award, and *then* making an Elric of Melinbone movie which is arguably better than the entire first three Star Wars prequels. For the record, I utterly loved the first half of Hancock, thought the last half was a waste of time. I liked Wanted for various reasons, but feel no need to own it on DVD. Every time it ripped off Fight Club, it took me completely out of the movie. Iron man was great, Hulk had too much yacking and chick stuff in it, but was much better than the last one. The point is Hellboy was the best thing Ive seen yet, and for that I will not apologize.

  • July 13, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    People who hated this movie are fucking morons.

    by HoboCode

    It was god damn perfect. The action was breathtaking. The comedy was note perfect. The pacing was spot on. The story was epic and engaging. The acting was perfect all around. The special effects were awesome, especially the Elementem and the Golden Army. Krauss posessing the GA soldier and kicking the shit out of the rest of them OWNED everyhtig else this summer. How could you not love this film? Because you have no taste or are a complete knuckledragging imbecile I suspect. Now bring on The Dark Knight and summer is back!

  • July 13, 2008, 2:14 p.m. CST

    even though i enjoyed it a lot..

    by Bouncy X

    gotta say i was surprised to learn the movie was only 2hrs long, it felt like 2 1/2 ....not sure what that means because as i said, i liked it but yeah.

  • July 13, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    oh and myers

    by Bouncy X

    nice to see them mention him being shipped off to antartica, least they didnt ignore the fact he existed and kept up the idea that Hellboy didnt like him much. lol

  • July 13, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Saw it yesterday

    by OptimusCrime

    along with Hancock. I went in ready to not like Hancock but the movie pretty much delivered what was promised.<P>I went in to Hellboy ready to LOVE it and was completely let down. The prince was excellent and multi-dimensional in that his goals were understandable. Some of the effects were great (some were NOT). Story wise, however, this film didn't have it shit together.<P>I liked the first movie and I guess I can't say this outing was any worse. It was good enough that if a third is made I'll pay to see it, I just had higher hopes based on all the raves this had been getting.<P>And the poster above who claims the movie is some kind of perfect triumph: you're a fucking idiot. This shit can't touch Iron Man, and I'd even go so far as to say a film like Wanted was more entertaining.

  • July 13, 2008, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Young Hellboy

    by Andillformthehead

    At first I was like is that a "kid" or a "little person" (a la Gump from Legend). Come to find out it's a chick! Usually works with voice acting but live action? Anyway, this was good. Maybe a shade below the original (minus the love triangle). I'd but the DVD (special edition or director's cut) when it come out.

  • July 13, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    hey oct

    by Bricktops hammer

    Thought it was really bad. Shocked by all this perfect Movie shit

  • July 13, 2008, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I really liked the first movie

    by brobdingnag

    ALOT. But this one was not very good. The humor was not at all funny...none of it. I miss the Gothic vibe of the first film. This thing might as well have been put out by Disney.

  • July 13, 2008, 8:15 p.m. CST

    Too healthy, not gaunt enough to be Elric.

    by Dingbatty

    He was more like Corum.<br> Anyhow, my one nitpick was the art design. More like Pan's Lab than Mignola (even though Mignola get creeped out by mimickry). Fairyland looked alien, not Earthy, and European elfs in Asian dress has been done, first in 'Memory, Sorrow, Thorn', then LOTR movies. Sloppy myth-ing, as well. Balor of the One "Arm??" BalAr isn't missing any limbs -- he is known for his piercing, poisonous eye/gaze. And Balar is (mostly) a "Fomhoire," not a sidh or a Norse álfr).

  • July 13, 2008, 9:54 p.m. CST

    Ironman was shit compared t HB2.

    by HoboCode

    Ironman sucked donkey cock compared to HB2. Such a bloated, overrated piece of shit. The villain sucked, the pacing was atrocious, the endig was anti-climatic. I really don't get the love for it. I guess it's a matter of taste but for my money HB2 was it.

  • July 14, 2008, 12:23 a.m. CST

    Will PJ and GDT get along while making The Hobbit?

    by AntoniusBloc

    I saw an interview with GDT last month, and i got the sense from his answers that there could be some major clashes of ego, that's why I'm still surprised by PJ's choice. Don't you get the sense that PJ is too hands on? anyway, after seeing Hellboy 2, I hope PJ can't control himself and takes over, even though GDT's name will be on it. Actually, I just wish PJ would do it, let GDT work on Hell in Black 3, or Pan's Wardrobe

  • July 14, 2008, 1:49 a.m. CST

    That was GREAT.

    by samsquanch

    I loved Hellboy 1. Still watch it, every once in awhile. It holds up. This was the logical continuation. <p> Of course, of course, there were foibles- young HB was a disappointment, though having Broom back was nice, the saving of the baby from the plant god was cheesy, but the plant god, and the prince's little monologue about it were excellent, and Liz being preggers is a little lame. Though, they are setting it up for a third sequel, so.... I'm happy. <p> So many great moments. One thing though, I thought for sure Abe was a friend of Dorothy's. Just sayin'.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:51 a.m. CST

    oh yeah, and the Troll's Market scene was fucking great.

    by samsquanch

  • July 14, 2008, 4:29 a.m. CST

    "Ah Crap..."

    by monolithik

    ...To quote the movie's least forgettable line(but only because it must have been in Ron's contract that he has to utter it every time something happens, like one of those kiddie audiobook "turn the page" sound effects...).<BR> I have to say, this is the first time I can remember that Massawyrm has let me down. At least one thing he said holds true -- if you didn't like the first one, this isn't going to change your mind, because they both have the same problems: lame-ass plots that exist only to string fight scenes together -- I mean seriously, what wasn't straight up lifted from other films here was crap I could have written when I was five.<BR> The horrible acting and hammy dialogue didn't help sell it at all, either. Ron does what he does as Hellboy, and that's respectable... but Selma Blair... holy hell. ALL she has to do is show angst - angst at the world for, apparently, just making eye contact with her, angst with Hellboy because he's smothering her and she wants to be out in the world that... she just hated a minute ago, angst with the bad guy for... you get the idea. She didn't sell it, once. She just read her lines and cashed her check. Please note the entirety of the scene where they're looking for the crown piece while she's trying to be angsty toward Agent George Bluth(who also suffered from being written as a hardass in the first film, only to be used as attempted - and failed - comic relief in this one)... horrible acting.<BR> Anyways, yeah. I'm not going to change any minds, I know, and I'm not trying to. Just needed to... get my thoughts out, as I just came back from the theater.<BR> I will say this: The special effects were nice(though the Troll Alley scene was a little... lacking in epicness, for me. The set design for that scene did little to convince me that we weren't just watching some Mos Eisley Cantina rejects on a studio sound stage); the fight scenes, even the cgi ones, were interesting -- which is no small feat... but all of these things that were mostly dead on just seemed to underline the critical flaws of it all: that the story and delivery weren't strong enough to put all of these wonderful creatures and moments into full effect. ' Tis a shame.<BR> But hey... it's still about infinite times better than that Scientology origin story they called Indy IV, so... props for that, I guess.

  • July 14, 2008, 4:42 a.m. CST

    I figured it out.

    by monolithik

    I think it all stems from GDT being, first and foremost, a visual thinker. Everything here is played for the look of it first, and things like story, continuity and delivery come in behind that. It appears that, when a key decision or scene came along, he would simply choose what "looks badass" over what the story would naturally demand, and, well... that leads to a movie that looks badass... but sounds retarded should you ever find yourself explaining it to anyone, hahah.

  • July 14, 2008, 5:39 a.m. CST

    On Sperm...

    by codynootchies

    ...jizz, man juice, or whatever you wish to call it: It's funny. Bodily functions are hilarious, plus they can get you atention, even fame. Look at Kevin Smith. Millions of dollars, millions of dick and fart jokes. I rest my case as I now have to go ejaculate... (<<<Me grabbing for attention...) The movie was AMAZING by the way.

  • July 14, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    flawless movie from start to finish

    by ArcadianDS

    So far, every "summer blockbuster" has been a mixed bag of not-living-up-to-hype and not-quite-getting-it-right. I've enjoyed all 8 movies I've seen so far, but not without complaints like "yeah it was good but I didnt get..." or "great acting by so-and-so, but..."<p> HellyboyII entertained and amazed from start to finish. Its story was well done, its characters were well played, and the progression of the story was well paced. They managed to tie in some classical celtic mythology to give the story some ground to stand on, and the creature designs continue to floor me. It is so rare to see a creature-feature and constantly be met with things you'd never seen done on film before.<p> And Del Toro certainly has a talent for weaving in subtle humor without winking to the audience or hamming it up in a yuckity-yuck style. Like the scene (which I'll spoil here since it was in a trailer) where the little fairy is revived from the dead. It pops up on its little mantis legs and immediately starts pointing accusing mandibles at Hellboy and whines on in an unintelligible chatter. Thats the kind of subtle moment of levity that lesser directors cannot do. And while Im not a fan of his brand of comedy, Seth McFarlane has got to be one of the best voice-over actors I have ever heard. He so completely buries himself in characters that constantly I find myself watching movie credits and saying to the person with me, "holy crap, THAT was Seth McFarlane??" - he flat out OWNS his role in HBII.<p> Lastly, the new charactors in this movie were fantastic. My wife swears that she's seen the actor playing Prince Nuada before - a night with the King, perhaps? Anyway, he was fantastic. If only he'd been cast in that last Trek movie as the young Picard Clone, the movie might have been somewhat watchable.<p> And final comment: the actor portraying Abe was perfect. Anyone have any idea why he was dubbed out in the first movie for David Hyde Pierce? Seems totally unnecessary (spellcheck).<p> anyway, I've seen all the major releases so far this summer, and this one is at the top of my "maybe I should buy the DVD" list.<p> And I can only hope that the seventy-thousand pounds of thick, creamy foreshadowing pans out. It suggests that if there is a Hellboy III, its going to be dark. Empire Strikes Back kind of dark.

  • July 14, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    yup, great movie

    by just pillow talk

    I loved it. The Prince made a great villain, as did his "sidekick" Wink. You're right Arcadian, the story had a good pace to it, and it kept me enthralled the entire time. The drunken scene between Abe and HB was pretty great, and the locker scene was good as well. <p>GDT has to do a third one to complete HB's arc of with or against human kind.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    footnote to above

    by ArcadianDS

    yes, the title was sarcastic. I liked the movie, but no movie is flawless. Well, Casablanca pretty much hits on all cylinders in every single scene, but seriously - this movie isn't Casablanca II. Its HellboyII. I went in expecting more of the first movie, and thats what I got.<p> Could some of the writing have been better? My own personal vanities and frustrations as a writer say 'oh hell yes'. The character of Bluth was so badly sewn onto this movie, that they had to bring in a NEW character to play his role from the first movie. Sure sure, he's a changed man - dealing with Hellboy's teenage antics can break the strongest man, and I get that he's supposed to be 'broken' now, but the first movie ended with the two of them sort of understanding one another better - a discovered mutual respect. Now that's completely washed away and he's a fumbling bumbling buffoon and Hellboy hates him.<p> This is what happens when you try to make a sequel that serves as a complete 'stand-alone' movie: you wind up with disconnects in characters. If you squeezed me in a press and forced one complaint out of my pores, it would be that they should have just said 'to hell with anyone who hasn't seen the first movie yet' and ran with it. They tried to reboot the franchies a little bit as a way of filling in the folks who didn't see the first one. Seriously, its been all over TBS and Spike the past 2 weeks - FOR FREE. Anyone who hasn't seen Hellboy yet, is seriously working hard to avoid it - and deserves to be a little bit behind when watching the sequel.<p> anyway, rant over. Its a great movie that I enjoyed watching.<p> Oh and uhm WAY TOO MANY COSSACKS IN THE CREDITS, DEL TORO!!

  • July 14, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    @ the Kingdom_Of_The_Massive_Douche guy...

    by ArcadianDS

    Massawyrm is a homosexual. I think this was discussed a long time ago - so to play up that issue, all of his titles involve sexual deviance of one sort or another. In his early-to-mid-30s mind, he's being clever, witty, and very much a modern day George Carlin. But dont worry - when he hits 40, he'll look back and say, "yeah I totally was a jackass moron" but for the next 8 years or so, expect more of this.

  • July 14, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Greatest thing to come out of Mexico

    by cookylamoo

    since Cantiflas.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Agreed Monolithik

    by strosmer

    I thought this movie would be many steps above and beyond the first, especially after the success of Pan's Labyrinth, but del Toro's script was weak on this one. Not that it had to be any sort of masterpiece, but had del Toro made a stronger effort in the writing department, I feel this could have been a sleeper hit for the summer. That won't happen though. General audiences simply will not warm to these characters as geeks do. I feel the people who are gushing about HB2 are simply anxious for a summer hit that will truly deliver. I think we should stop fooling ourselves here and except the fact that only one movie will do that this summer and it opens on July 18.<p>The opener was beautiful. I thought the movie would just take off from there, but it ended up being nothing more than the first film with a booster shot.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:14 p.m. CST

    Arcadian- I agree with just about every single thing

    by samsquanch

    you've written here today sir.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    Here's to seeing the Homunculus in HB3

    by samsquanch

  • July 14, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST

    Hey Massawyrm

    by d_fens1969

    Stop reviewing shitty games at AICN and stick to ejaculating all over second rate films like this one. Thanks.

  • July 14, 2008, 5:55 p.m. CST

    There are good points and bad points

    by Hikaru Ichijo

    I will sit down for third installment, that said, this one isn't quite as exciting as the last. I don't know where people found the first one to be lacking, but this one seems to suffer too much from "sympathizing with the bad guy" syndrome." I mean, it's 2008, y'all, who isn't introspective enough to realize how f*d up we as a country/ race/ species? 13 year olds not withstanding. When there are so many great Hellboy villains, why send him after a militant hippy, and then steal the hair farmer's thunder by not letting him do anything truly dastardly? Wouldn't The Baba Wawa (or whatever it's called) be more more in line with the how the existing story progresses. Del Toro is great, but this is flick is definitely a bid for wider recognition at the expense of the character. Here's hoping they get to do another, better one, after Perlman voices Smuag and Jones gets to be the Goblin King and/or Mirkwood Spider.

  • July 14, 2008, 8:25 p.m. CST

    Don't Get Me Wrong...

    by monolithik

    I liked the film, mostly... and it gets a lot right, especially the design and visual execution(although Liz's fire effect was still quite distracting, and the golden army kept making me think of Tik-Tok from the 80's Return to Oz, heh)... but just because it has an overabundance of style doesn't make it great, and let's not kid ourselves, this movie was strictly form over function eye candy... I mean, not that anybody's expecting friggin' Schindler's List here, but still; we know GDT can sell the look of fantasy, but if he wants to become a serious, consistent, big league director... he still has areas to work on, and we're not doing him a service by - oh, how did Johann Krauss put it so groan-inducingly... ahh yes - "sucking his von schtucker" for making 3/4 of a good movie.<br> That said, it really is as if this movie was picked straight from the imagination of a ten year old boy... which really isn't too much of a compliment(and is why you don't get a lot of ten-year-olds writing/directing movies); the idea is imaginative, but the execution... comes off as a little hack and lacking in depth. Any emotional drive comes off as melodramatic and poseurish... in short, it reminds me very much of a kid playing with dolls or GI Joes... hell, wasn't that the beginning of the whole film, a bunch of wooden dolls?<br> Anyhoo, I say that to say this... should Del Toro match his eye of a child with the steady, tempered hand of a grown man... he'll rule Hollywood(as soon as Robert Downey Jr. is done with it, of course, heh).