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I can’t sleep. I’m drunk in love with HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY and it really is everything I could have wanted it to be. For years, Guillermo has been a wildly schizophrenic filmmaker – making brilliant intimate art genre films with CRONOS, DEVIL’S BACKBONE & PAN’S LABYRINTH… while also making Studio pictures that are… perhaps infused with approximately 45% of the potential glorious madness that Guillermo could have given them… MIMIC, BLADE II & the first HELLBOY. There’s a lot of reasons for that. For one, those films were made with studios that he had to fight with to get every percentage of what he wanted on screen. That said – even at the end – the films had a remarkable and exciting quality – but it just wasn’t everything it could be. HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY is the first big budget film by Guillermo Del Toro that for every second you can tell there’s this crazy fucking mad-mexican genius pouring tequila, squirt, sea salt and lime juice down your gullet, spinning your head, bouncing it 3 times off his belly and pushing you out of your chair at the end with a dazed euphoric high. He calls the process a Muppet or Moppet (I can’t quite tell) – but the cinematic equivalent is finally here. Now here’s the thing… HELLBOY II cost just $85 million – that’s $35 million less than SPEED RACER, that’s $55 million less than IRON MAN, that’s $65 million less than both HANCOCK and THE INCREDIBLE HULK, $100 million less than the latest Indy film, and $115 million less than THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN. And yet… it out does all of them in terms of entertainment, imagination, spectacle and just old fashioned fucking fun. This film is HUGE and MAGICAL! This isn’t STAR WARS – this isn’t anything that anyone has seen anything like before – and that’s fucking amazing. People seem to like to compare the Troll Market to the Cantina Scene from the original Star Wars – but it isn’t that at all. The Troll Market is a scene that will have your eyes dancing trying to catch all the detail. In the Cantina – it was played like a game of flashcards showing off each mask and costume sitting or standing in perfect individual lighting and framing. Guillermo has created a market where hundreds of things are going on. You ever been to a bustling marketplace – or stopped to look at something for a second only to have the person with you continue on – and you had to work hard to catch back up to them because it was so bustling? Well that feeling, that excitement is here – but there’s not a human in sight – these creatures are all going about their business – getting the supplies for their existence, their entertainment and it’s so fucking cool! They’re at all different scales too – but nothing stands completely out from the crowd… including Hellboy and Abe. You can follow what’s going on, because Guillermo keeps the CHAOS in the background and we follow our characters – it’s just – the background is so vibrant and alive and thrilling that you just want to step through it all… hell, I even pointed at one creature cuz it took my breath away – then caught myself… this is a movie… you don’t point at things, but the screen ceased to be a screen and felt like a wondrous window to hundreds of amazing things going on – be they costumed, creatures or computer generated – Just stunning. The ELEMENTAL sequence… Ya know, the action part of it – it’s outstanding, but the epilogue to the action… sweet Jesus. It truly is something astonishing. You know… there’s only one thing I can compare it to. When I was reading comics as a boy – I remember reading FANTASTIC FOUR in order. And what we’ve done with all these comic movies is watch and experience together – a whole mess of “issues” – but when I suddenly came to FF #48, 49 & 50. The original Galactus storyline… It felt like I could feel my imagination grow. I felt the same way when I read the Phoenix storyline. Along with THE WATCHMEN. It’s like when I saw that big ass statue move in JASON & THE ARGONAUTS… or when the T-1000 walked through some bars and his gun went klink… Or the time those dinosaurs grazed on those trees and John Williams’ music swelled… It was one of those sequences. One of those sequences that makes your eyes water with the sweet elixir of possibilities… of dreams and the wonder of what is playing before you. Guillermo has never done that to me before. But the aftermath of the Elemental sequence… it’s just the sort of thing that you’ve never thought to see before – and it’s not just to make you feel that way… but the characters that are living it to feel that way too. THAT’S THE KEY. It’s there to serve the story – imagine that? It’s there to motivate and to question motivations. It’s there to make us LOVE the fantastic and to be so amazing that characters like Hellboy, Abe, Liz and Johann… fantastic characters in their own right… characters that have seen things we people wouldn’t believe… this is one of those moments that once we’re all gone – ya might think back to as something that will go missing like teardrops in the rain. It’s just cinematic poetry. And my one problem moment of the film came after that scene. And I understand – the characters and the audience has to be brought back into the world we live in, that they live in. There has to be the contrast to compare with… and it left me feeling like I wanted to just have nothing to do with the real world ever again. I actually felt downright shame for humanity and anger. And I was feeling to good to feel that way. Like I said – I know I was supposed to feel that way, I just didn’t want to feel that way… not when I was so in love with the world I was in. Essentially though – Del Toro is explaining much of the same thematic ground as he did in PAN’S LABYRINTH – but more directly here. Both films deal with the line between Reality and Fantasy – but this film attempts to hold reality accountable for trying to stomp out fantasy… and Fantasy wants to fight back. They’re tired of hiding, just like our hero – and want their day in the sun. It’s a pity they feel they need bloody footprints to do it. Not that we see blood in this film. This is 100% kid safe. Nothing graphic at all – and the monsters and creatures are not so much the stuff of horror as they are of fantasy, so don’t worry about the young’uns – especially if you’ve given them proper doses of the fantastic. Guillermo has really done wonders with this film. Not only is it a film that plays seriously with Comic Book material – but doesn’t disappear into the trap of dull seriousness. Don’t take my word for it though…. Check it out for yourself. I’m hoping the film performs, because oddly… as silly an ending as it is, I just can’t wait to see exactly what is in Hellboy, Abe and Liz’s future. Of course it looks like we’ll have perhaps 6 or more years if we’re to see a sequel and completion to this trilogy – which Guillermo mentioned would bring back the Nazis and possibly Lobster Johnson as played by Bruce Campbell. That alone is reason to clone Guillermo.

Readers Talkback
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  • July 9, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Of course it rocks!

    by Knuckleduster

    It's Hellboy! It's Guillermo Del Toro! Bring on Hellboy 3!

  • July 9, 2008, 8:06 a.m. CST

    He should marry them.

    by Diagnostic

    if its true love ...

  • July 9, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST


    by Wilclas

    ...I don´t know what else to say. "Hell yeah" is fine by now.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    No way!!! Harry loved it?!?!?!


    Didn't see that coming. At all.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Anyone who gets excited after reading Harry

    by Francis Begbie

  • July 9, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Can't Wait To See It


    I knew it would be good. I can usually tell when a Harry review matches my own sensibilities, and I think this is one of those. And what a great summer for movies. Indy wasn't all that, but most of the big summer blockbusters have done me right this year. Can't wait to catch Hellboy and Dark Knight. What a great year to be a geek!

  • July 9, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST


    by Wilclas´s too damn different from the source material. I try to separate, but it´s very hard to do so, since I´m a huge fan of Mignola´s dark atmosfere. The Hellboy movies look Too flashy, too "loud". I´m sure the second movie is great, but it isn´t the Hellboy movie I used to dream about.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Anyone who gets excited after reading Harry's Review

    by Francis Begbie

    is pretty naive. I'm not saying it's not good, I'm gonna go see it, it looks good, but we all knew Harry was gonna call it great. <br><br>In fact, Harry I have an Idea for you, you should write a review ahead of time, before seeing movies like this one where you are obviously bias and then write a review after you see the movie, if the reviews are really similar maybe you should post both.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    I'm hoping this is good, 'coz the first one was let down

    by Mr. P. Lant

    That whole conceit of using Myers so that the audience would have a human to relate to was so lame. It felt like Men In Black. I'm looking forward to seeing Big Red as made for an audience that doesn't need to be spoon fed.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    it's a muppet

    by pcassou

    I don't know why it is called that, but is a tipical drink in bars and discos here in mexico.

  • Bring on AT THE MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS ALREADY!!!!!! And dude... as much as love The Hobbit, I wish you'd get it in the can asap and make a 3rd Hellboy flick- the arc needs completing with you and Ron!

  • July 9, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    LOL $200 million!

    by ODM

  • July 9, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Anyone else think "No Shit" when they saw this headline?

    by AdrianVeidt

    Would Harry actually have mediocre feelings to a movie that he's been hyping and preaching about for a while? <p> No offense, Harry, but I feel that far too often you enter movies completely pre-judging them, viewing them as you feel you're SUPPOSED to, without just sitting it back and letting it do its work. <p> Do I think that's what MOST people do with movies? Yes, of course - that's why they are so subjective. But as the purveyor of all that is geeky and wonderful in the intricacies of comic book movies, I expect a little bit more.<p> I apologize if this is asking too much, but it's something that a few "this movie was awful" reviews simply can't fix.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    I have an idea for the idiots who come here to insult Harry.


    Stop reading his reviews and get lost. So there's one critic in the world who loves film enough to suspend his disbelief and enjoy most of the movies he sees rather than spewing bile at ever film he goes to like most critics. Get over it. I tend to enjoy a lot of those movies too, and even when our opinions differ he does a good job of explaining his perspective. If you're so fed up with his lack of bitterness and the fact that he has the realistic expectation that it's okay to enjoy a film despite the fact that not every movie is going to be the best one you've ever seen, take your jaded asses elsewhere. I personally don't agree with a lot of the game reviews at gamespot, so guess what, I don't go there anymore. Hellboy II looks amazing, so if you're not arguing the converse of that point, you're just being an arrogant asshole. If you're so superior, go start your own review site. Stop coming to this guys site and calling him out. It's just asinine. I don't think Larry King is much of a journalist, but I'm not going to go to his house and grind dirt into his carpet. Show some class.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST

    So it was chocolate covered kiddie juice?

    by Redfive!

    Guillermos best when its his original stuff.I love Hellboy,im even wearing a HB shirt right now,BUT...the first wasn't very good even though it had the right director and Hellboy it still lacked something and felt like a generic flick.I hope this ones better.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST


    by AdrianVeidt

    I agree, to a point, but at the same time, Larry King doesn't have message boards outside his house for people to write on. If he did, it would be met with both praise AND ridicule.<p>I love Harry's site, and I enjoy reading his reviews - just sometimes I feel I need to point out when the premature bias might play a role.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST


    by AdrianVeidt

    And please, PLEASE do not argue "show some class" while using words like "arrogant asshole" and "jaded asses" and calling people idiots. Some of us just like to make opinions, albeit some are a bit vulgar themselves.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Box Office Failure

    by Luscious.868

    The first one sucked. Only fan boys will bother with the second. I predict it will be a box office failure.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Yeah me too AdrianVeidt

    by MRJONZ72

  • July 9, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    OT: Harry, still accepting film submissions?

    by Behemoth

    Harry, I can't seem to find the post from about 3-4 weeks ago with details on submitting films electronically for the coming festival. If there's any way you can provide that info or that link, The Behemoth is willing to go one day without devouring a world Galactus-style. Thank you.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    But what does Brian Austin Green think?

    by tonagan

    I won't rest until I know.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Harry loves Hellboy 2...there's a shock

    by Atticus Finch

    Del Toro could have shat in a bowl for two hours and called it Hellboy and Harry would have still defended it because he fancies Del Toro is his buddy.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    harry thought the first one was the greatest movie ever

    by BMacSmith

    or close to it. i havent forgotten the insanely gushing reviews of a very bland movie. If Del Toro didnt make it, it would be obvious that these movies have very little to do with the comic. thats a shame. Mignola's art style is fantastic, and the stories have a perfect mix of creepiness and humor that is completely lacking in the films.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Huge and Magical...?

    by spiderinside

    That's what she said!!! Oooooh, snap. But seriously, can't wait for this movie, even though I agree with Veidt's assessment about Harry loving this thing being a foregone conclusion over a year ago.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Most unsurprising "review" EVER.

    by Sledge Hammer

    I don't know whether the film is good or bad, haven't seen it yet so can't judge, but I felt the first Hellboy film was extremely mediocre, not to mention missing the tone of Mignola's work almost completely, so I'm not getting my hopes up too high, despite the predictable hype machine hyperbole. <p>In fact I'm still of the opinion that Del Toro is a pretty damn hollow film maker for the most part, something I've felt for a while now after watching his various over-hyped and under delivering works. Films that look pretty, sure, but which seem to have all the depth of a petrie dish, and all the impact of a damp squid. Films that never seem to be anywhere near as good as they should have been, and films that I never really have any desire to revisit. And yes, I include his over-hyped non english films in this. Don't get me wrong, I want to see Del Toro kick my ass, Visually the man has talent, and I especially want to see him deliver the goods now that he's been given the reigns of The Hobbit, but he hasn't managed to do so yet, the best he's ever scored with me is an "almost", and most of the time not even that much, so like I said, I'm not exactly holding my breath for this one. Maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised...we'll see.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Actually the lack of reference to female genetalia is surprising

    by Stormwatcher

    Cuz that is harry's euphamism for his love of Del Toro. Can't wait to see this. Just waiting on some premium smoke before I go.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    To clarify my statement a bit further...

    by AdrianVeidt

    I harbor no hard feelings or animosity towards Harry, no del Toro. In fact, I'm very excited to see this movie and I'm sure it's as good as Harry says!<p>But I will NEVER go it on Harry's word alone when he's been preaching the movie's greatness for a long time prior. <p> I really do hold the same high hopes that the majority of you do, though.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    by AdrianVeidt

    nor* del Toro

  • July 9, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    I wanted to love HB2 but was left wanting

    by Hjermsted

    Saw this one last night in Seattle.... If there is a third HB film I would like Mike Mignola to have a lot more influence over it. HB2 is Guillermo del Toro turned up to 11 with very little of a Mignola feel to it at all. And what does "del Toro turned up to 11" look like, you ask? Imagine Pan's Labyrinth re-enacted by big time wrestlers with loud spectacle... throw in homages to every filmmaker del Toro has ever loved: Lucas (creature cantina.. here called Troll Market), Raimi (HB gets beat up by locker doors) and Miyuzaki (giant living tree in NYC) and, of course, to himself by simultaneously sequelizing his own Pan's Labyrinth as well as the mostly brilliant first Hellboy film. Obvious gripes: Abe Sapian spends the entire film walking around on dry land and doesn't even have breathing apparatus in the final third. As in a video game where the player controls many characters at once... HB2 characters stand around and watch other characters fight, waiting for the plot to remember they are in the film. This film is pretty close to a mess. It takes some intense rose-colored glasses to love HB2 and overlook all of these flaws. Pete Jackson be warned: if del Toro can't restrain himself... The Hobbit films will be a disaster.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    "I pointed at the screen..."

    by Thrillho77

    Ladies and Gentlemen, is that the new "I looked over saw Kurt Russell laughing..."???

  • July 9, 2008, 9:38 a.m. CST

    It's Harry's world and we just live in it

    by aboriginal

    Genre's right up his ally, but for all of us who grew up in the fantasy realm of movies and games will love a director who feels the same and gives it the A class treatment, and for a good price - take that over-budgeted studio epics that don't deliver.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Harry humps his TV when he watches porn

    by joe90025

  • July 9, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Let's call a spade a spade here.

    by Mr Gorilla

    Pan's Labyrinth and Devil's Backbone are proper stories with brilliant settings, real tension, characters etc etc. Truly great films. Blade 2 and, to a lesser extent, Hellboy, are fun but NEVER give you a thought-through world you can believe and invest in. They are just lots of 'cool' scenes with fights and monsters that give some people a boner but more others to death. I really hope HELLBOY 2 is more like the former than the latter, and I can't wait to see it - but AICN isn't the place to find out. Sorry.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST


    by FuryofthefilmFan

    I SEE IT TOMORROW!!!!! 7pm !! w00t!!!

  • July 9, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Harry & Blade II review...

    by redtom

    "...while also making Studio pictures that… just wasn’t everything it could be"<p><p> Finally, a proper review of Blade II, its taken how long to wash the strange aftertaste of your original Blade II review away...<p><p>

  • July 9, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Del Toro, you bastard

    by bingo the clown

    I've got Barry Manilow in my head, and it's YOUR FAULT! (Other than that, it was a pretty good movie).

  • July 9, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    We all knew Harry would like this

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    That's a given. The sun will rise tomorrow, G8 leaders will dine on 12-course meals while discussing world poverty and Harry will love a Del Toro movie.<p>Gotta give Harry props though. He wastes no time getting to the review and it's one of his most eloquent reviews in a long while.<p>I stopped caring what Harry thought of movies with his FF2 review, but I keep reading them because the guy experiences movies on a level few people ever will. And dammit, I just love the way he describes his feelings, even if the film itself is an unwatchable turd.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    It is only fair

    by ArcadianDS point out that Harry has written a long, passionate movie review and has omitted the scatalogical references and the grade-school sexual overtones in favor of just sitting down at his computer and simply sharing his feelings and thoughts about a particular movie.<p> Sure it was an over-the-top whipped cream-and-strawberries review, but it didn't make me want to throw up after I read it, and I didn't feel like an idiot for clicking the link.<p> With the ink still note entirely dry on the Speed Racer review, I think we still need to keep Mr. Knowles comments properly catalogued not as a review, but as a kid excited to tell us all about his brand new toy. Is it simply exciting because it is new? Only time will tell.<p>

  • July 9, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Harry, you should have sat on this review....

    by exie

    I think your objectivity was in question from the get go. I also think there's a geek backlash when you come out and praise movies created by your movie friends. Everyone sees through it and we've been burned by you before. Uni's lucky this only cost 65 million (although the advertising budget adds a lot more to that) because the first Hellboy was awful and unwatchable. It's a brand that has little to no following. When the trailers play to a normal (not geek boy) audience, the audience mocks it in the theater. This flick is going to need a whole lot of luck to be a success. I have no desire to see this and I'm a film buff. The whole thing just doesn't appeal to me on any level. For Harry's sake, I really hope the film is great and the word of mouth supports this reveiw. If this isn't another case of Harry pimping his friends and it's a genuine review than goo. But honestly, you've lost almost all your credibility with me with the whole Eli Roth/Richard Kelly/Robert Rodrigues fellatio you've been perpetuating on this site. It's your site, but your friends movies suck. Maybe this one is different. I won't know until it comes out on cable. There's pretty much nothing that's going to get me to drop $10 and a couple of hours on this.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    No mention of the HOBBIT!

    by trojanwilliams

    I am shocked that Harry didn't find a way to suggest a tie into the possibilities for Del Toro's "The Hobbit". Absolutely shocked. <br><br> Oh and I don't know why Harry even bothers to review these films. There are 3 directors we absolutely know Harry worships. Del Toro, Jackson and Tarantino. It's not like we can't predict what the reviews are gonna say way in advance. I'm not saying it's a bad film - just saying Harry shouldn't even bother with all those words...

  • July 9, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Yea, the standard line of thought is

    by skimn

    Del Toro could film himself taking a dump, and Harry would call it spellbinding, but this does look like Del Toro gives Tim Burton a run for his money in the creative imagination department.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    I guess I'm the only one that sees though this movie's BS...

    by Gil Brooks

    I REALLY did not like it- Makes me sad, too, because I love GDT... :(

  • July 9, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    I'm not impressed

    by Series7

    You know we've been waiting for it forever. And we finally get the sequel we've all been dying for, and Harry lets us down. Ever since the amazingness of the Blade 2 review I've been waiting for Harry's follow up and this this just didn't cut it. I hope that doesn't speak ill for the film. And yeah I know we got some off shoots like Hellboy 1 and Pans, but neither of those felt like they were going to get the reaction that caused the Blade 2 review. Hellboy 2 looked like that movie. OH well, guess I'll have to wait for the Hobbit.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    I'll believe Harry's enthusiasm

    by One Nation Under Zod

    When he tells me he loved a movie more than food.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Always getting on Harry

    by rogueleader66

    Because he likes or dislikes movies, he gives a positive review and everyone jumps on him, gives a negative review, everyone jumps on him. Give tha man a fucking break. Everyone here is so defensive about their rights to their opinions, let Hary have his and leave it alone. All this arguing about his "motives" to give a positive or negative review is ridiculous. I am suprised he still gives reviews after all the shit he gets no matter what his reviews say. In the end, it is your own opinion that matters, no someone else's. Sure reviews are decent guidelines, but we all know the only way to judge a film, is to see it!!!!! Just let Harry do what he does, if we are all allowed to, so should he.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Thank you for not bringing up clit licking Harry...

    by Fart_Master_Flex

    I still have nightmares from one of your past Guillermo del Toro movies.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Pre-judging movies

    by Brett_FlashJ

    Which is worse, pre-judging that a movie will be brilliant or that its horrible. For people that supposedly love films, a lot of people here sure love to hate them. And its disgusting seething hatred at its ugliest. I look forward to most movies and when the lights go down, I want to be entertained and enjoy the hell out of the movie. Just saw Mongol last night. It was great! I like to catch Wanted sometime, but bring on Hellboy 2 and the Dark Knight. They can't arrive here soon enough.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    That moment when

    by Series7

    you first see the dinosaurs yadda yadda. I had that feeling during Speed Racer, and King Kong.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    First One Was Nice. Sequel Looks Much Better. Also,

    by georges garvaren

    Its easy to keep the cost down when you don't have a Will Smith or Harrison Ford in the cast. Money means nothing, Harry, you know that. Focus and determination make any film great (ditto for pussy snorkeling).

  • July 9, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Fred saw Hellboy II last night at sneak - not as good as first m

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    It lacked heart, and was turned into a supernatural MIB. Way too many creatures being dragged around HQ. And it hada Diagon Alley scene rip off that jumped the troll. The humor was forced and did not work -mostly. Way too many creatures that looked like Pan's Labrynth leftovers. In short, it was the 'bigger is better' idea, that always bombs. It not bad movie, but it nothing to get excited over, not memorable at all.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Not as good as first movie

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    Fred subject line cut-off.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Harry bashing

    by Mr Gorilla

    Ok I admit I did a bit of it myself - but I will say that Harry's DVD reviews are really great (so much positive energy!) and have definitely introduced me to loads of stuff. So yeah, the guy's enthusiasm is great.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    You lost me at "this isn't Star Wars".

    by Cotton McKnight

    Harry, as a lover of movies, you should know better than to say something like that. Maybe it has more detail, but the two aren't comparable because Hellboy 2's scene couldn't exist without the Cantina scene. It's like trashing Newton for not knowing as much as Einstein- know what I mean? The knowledge we have and the advances we make, in practically every walk of life, are built on what has come before. This may be groundbreaking and revolutionary, but Star Wars got the ball rolling.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST

    I repsect you harry, but...

    by hoisin

    You really need to learn how to write a review. Yes, your website is great and gets lots of hits and your enthusiasm for film cannot be underestimated...but you write like a 9 year old.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    can we assume from the lack of sexual metaphors...

    by BMacSmith

    that he hated it but doesnt want to let his buddy Del Toro know?

  • July 9, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    I saw HB2 & agree with Harry on this one.

    by MadMo

    Dallas had a preview last nite, & I loved HB2, much more than HB1. This was a fantastic movie, in so many ways.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    by henrydalton

    "It’s there to make us LOVE the fantastic and to be so amazing that characters like Hellboy, Abe, Liz and Johann… fantastic characters in their own right… characters that have seen things we people wouldn’t believe… this is one of those moments that once we’re all gone – ya might think back to as something that will go missing like teardrops in the rain. It’s just cinematic poetry." No Harry, THAT was poetry. Proof reading is the key, sir... That said, I am looking forward to this :)

  • July 9, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST


    by henrydalton

    I must have missed that story - what was the gist? Sounds like something I'd be interested in submitting for too.

  • July 9, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    "This isn’t STAR WARS"

    by Aeghast

    No need to tell us that! I mean, I don't think Guillermo del Toro will revisit this trilogy in twenty-something years and completely ruin everything he's done before. I really don't see him doing that.. he rocks :))))

  • July 9, 2008, 12:05 p.m. CST

    6 years for a sequel..?

    by Aeghast

    Ron Perlman would be 64!

  • July 9, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Where the FUCK is "At the Mountains of Madness", GDT????

    by Squashua


  • July 9, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST


    by rogueleader66

    No need to apologize dude, we all make mistakes. How's it going? BTW, saw The Incredible Hulk last week, don't know if you saw it, but I enjoyed it. Looking forward to HBII, have been for some time now.

  • July 9, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    del toro must be cloned

    by bacci40

    cannot wait 6 years for part 3...need bruce on the big screen now

  • July 9, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Harry reviews a Del Toro film with no mention of pussy trama? Wo

    by Kampbell-Kid

    I'm actually heartbroken.

  • July 9, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST


    by VWantsRevenge

    He mentioned this during the Q&A afterward and said it was something that he would love to do, but the studio suits just don't get it. Harry asked him even after PAN'S, and he said yes, even with the success of that, studios still see HP Lovecraft as non-bankable, weird and with the story having no female characters, no love story and a tragic ending, no studio suit could understand why it needed to be made.<br> <br> I liked THE GOLDEN ARMY. It was entertaining, fun to look at, and had some truly intimate moments. The Tecate scene with Abe and Red is a thing of beauty. I just know that it'll have one good week if anything because THE DARK KNIGHT is gonna smash it into the ground when it opens.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    I really enjoyed Hellboy 2...

    by stinkyfingerz

    ...but there are going to be people that hate this movie. The audience I saw it with I think felt a massive disconnect. Something about a giant red demon impregnating Selma Blair, just didn't work with some of the folks in the audience. But, I completely disagree that this is a child friendly flick. The beginning with the "tooth fairies" would be a little too much for the youngins. I hated the first Hellboy, but I really liked HB 2, but there are going to be people who truly dislike this film.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:11 p.m. CST

    I too am looking forward to The Dark Knight

    by skimn

    Begins was good, but perhaps the lack of a strong villian and the umpteenth origins storyline left me not loving it. Bale is an excellent Wayne/Batman and from what I hear Knight hits the ground running. And Heath Ledger...what can be said..Read the Rolling Stone review to get your heart racing.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:11 p.m. CST

    Del Toro Trilogy?

    by fat bears

    So, the running theme in both HBII and Pan's Labyrinth is fantasy vying with reality? Sounds like the Gilliam imagination trilogy of Time Bands, Brazil and Baron Munchausen. If Gilliam’s trilogy tracked a boy discovering the power of imagination and fantasy, followed a young man trying to reconcile fantasy with reality (and ultimately choosing the former) and showed an old man with an imagination that could change reality... I wonder what the progression from the Labyrinth to Hellboy to whatever’s next will be. Or am I over-thinking it and drawing false comparisons?

  • July 9, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    My movie pitch...

    by Thrillho77

    Okay, talkbackers...I have a great idea for a movie that the "geek culture" can get behind. Guillermo del Toro uses his uncanny eye for fantasy to bring Harry's movie watching experience and subsequent Ain't it Cool review to the visual medium. Watch in fantastical wonderment as del Toro captures Harry's pants expanding as the movie progresses. See, for the first time ever, Chocolate-covered Pussy Juice rendered in ways never imagined! The 3rd act is composed of the most joyous and yet, most grotesque and horrifying orgasm ever committed to film. Hard core or otherwise. <p> <p> The only problem with this is the rift in time and space due to the paradox that will inevitably be created when Harry views del Toro's Harry movie and then writes the inevitable gushing review.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Lobster Johnson in the third movie, not this one

    by Kraken

  • July 9, 2008, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Harry has chosen HB TGA, here's Y

    by g-ride9000

    Cause he's a big sap for other, bigger saps....<P><P>p.s. i'm so amped bout Hellboy. Maybe the voices will go away after I see this one.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    I'm apathetic to the character...

    by pleasebanme

    ...but the first one was okay. The comedy really helped it, and Del Toro's creature style is always fun to look at. Ron Perlman is perfect. Don't have much anticipation for this one, but personally I found Pan's Labyrinth to be quite overrated. He's never made a film IMO worth more than three out of four stars (but a hell of a lot of films worse than that). I'll see so I can get a taste of what he's going to bring to The Hobbit, but I can't imagine this movie causing a huge stir now that all of America is frothing at the mouth for NEXT week's apparently great comic book movie.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:38 p.m. CST

    The true test is to see what Mori thinks of this

    by exie

    If it's a positive glowing review from him, I would believe it. If it's one of those tepid positive reviews where you can tell he's dancing around the fact he didn't like the movie, you'll know that this is a piece of shit. I don't think Mori will come out and bash this because of Harry's relationship. Usually, you can read between the lines in Mori's reviews and tell if he's blowing smoke or he was moved by the film.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Harry loves HELLBOY 2: THE GOLDEN ARMY!!!

    by Right Bastard

    I haven't read the review yet (trying to stay as spoiler-free as possible), but I'll add to the chorus. Harry loves HB2? There's a big fucking surprise. That's about as surprising as someone saying William Burroughs loved heroin, or I have a thumb on each hand.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Shellfish porn

    by kafka07

    Lobster Johnson, heh heh

  • July 9, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Harry may be prone to . . . hyperbole. .

    by fireclown

    But damned if this doesn't look fraking great. Calm down kids, you know what you are getting with a Harry Knowles review of a Del Toro flick. This isn't the place to show off how brilliant you are by showing us how blase you are.

  • July 9, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    TDK has a 100% on rotten tomatoes...

    by stinkyfingerz

    just sayin'

  • July 9, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    I was disappointed with it.

    by RawShark13

    Big Del Toro fan... Unfortunately, I was rather disappointed.

  • July 9, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Just a question...

    by pleasebanme

    In every single interview given on every single late night talk show, the host makes inaudible small talk with the interviewee when the commercial break is about to come and the camera pulls away from the interview. Is this REQUIRED? Does the talk show host do this so that it doesn't look awkward that neither of them are talking to each other now that the interview is postponed? I can't imagine every single host has something interesting to say to every single guest every single time it cuts to commercial break. Do you think the host is ever just whispering, "Okay, now let's let everyone at home think we're making chit chat to establish that we have a rapport," to which the interviewee smiles and replies, "I HAVE done talk shows before, jackass."?

  • July 9, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST


    by Executor

    Disappointing if you're expecting something beyond a visually compelling film. The story has no real heart...the romances fall flat, big moments pass by with no emotion.<p>Don't give Guillermo a pass on this and let him think his style is fine for The Hobbit. Pan's Labyrinth was a brilliant film that reached a level of emotion unprecedented by most films that year. Hellboy is a flat comic book movie. All style no substance.

  • July 9, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    I can't wait...

    by Godovhellfire

    to have chilli for lunch!

  • July 9, 2008, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Hellboy for...

    by moonlightdrive

    PRESIDENT. Makes sense.

  • July 9, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST


    by rogueleader66

    I know what you mean about seeing movies with the fellas, it is fun. Alas, I too am getting sucked into the hype for TDK, which I try to avoid as well, but in this case, it's like an unstoppable force LOL, just too much good word about the movie. Too bad your buds won't give in and see TIH, it really is a solid movie. Anyways, good talking to ya, see ya around the TB's bro!!

  • July 9, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST


    by rogueleader66

  • July 9, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Can a movie give you insomnia Harry?

    by Bricktops hammer

    I think about a good movie for a while after I see it too but i can always get to sleep

  • July 9, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Sorry had to do that

    by rogueleader66

    So many people just post a title with no content, so I figure I would give it a try. It's an overrated experience, but at least I can say I did it, LOL.

  • July 9, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    HB2 was fantastic

    by muzicjunky

    I saw it last night at the screening with Harry, del Toro, Mignola, and Doug Jones, and I have to agree with Harry's review. The suits at Universal kept the first movie from reaching its potential, but they gave GdT pretty much free reign on HB2 and the end result is quite mesmerizing.

  • July 9, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

    by Darksider

    Just another week until THE DARK KNIGHT.

  • July 9, 2008, 3:43 p.m. CST

    Pan's Labyrinth sucked ass.


    Yes, I'm well aware that I'm the only person on earth that feels that way. It was well-directed and looked fantastic, but on the storytelling front, it was a complete failure with ricidulous stereotypes standing in for "characters." Shoving everything down an audience's throat doesn't make a message more powerful. It makes it far more irritating. As far as his other flicks... Devil's Backbone was solid, Blade 2 was actually pretty fun, Hellboy 1 was decent but infuriatingly anticlimactic. So I don't hate Guillermo or anything, but Labyrinth blew.

  • July 9, 2008, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Hellboy vs. The Universal Monsters

    by JediRob

    I heard Del Toro talk about this as an idea for a 3rd movie. God how much would that rock.

  • July 9, 2008, 4:34 p.m. CST

    I dislike TBers "reviews" as much as most of you seem to hate Ha

    by andrew coleman

    A lot of you guys are full of shit. You come on here and say your sarcastic shit or bitch or just hate blindly... But what confuses me is you all still come here and bitch! If you hate the reviews go somewhere else idiots. Also the "reviews" people post here which are all bull shit it is either: "Saw this at a screening last night and it was awsome I felt like a kid again!". Or, "Saw it last night it sucked so bad. It was a mess and it ripped off Harry potter because it had an alley scene with monsters in it." These are bull shit reviews I could have written any of that from watching a tv commercial. Go fuck yourselves liars I'm seeing this twice now just to piss some of you guys off.

  • July 9, 2008, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Airplane Tickets

    by Chanoc

    Harry, Guillermo just called. Your plane tickets for the filming of The Hobbit are on their way.

  • July 9, 2008, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Is there any movie Harry doesn't like?

    by GodMars

    Hey, I like Guillermo Del Toro as much as the next guy, but why even bother reviewing movies anymore, Harry? You have zero credibility.

  • July 9, 2008, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Men In Black?

    by geemenblue

    The market scene sounds a lot like the introduction of the Men in Black building to me, right? They didn't showcase many aliens in that one, they just moved through the scene and let you catch some. Am I wrong?

  • July 9, 2008, 4:59 p.m. CST


    by Thrillho77

    That's true. When the tears shed for Armageddon hit the Earth, they indeed opened a rift in our worldly plane.

  • July 9, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST


    by nastee_flembot

    That is one cool nom de plume you have there.

  • July 9, 2008, 5:36 p.m. CST

    I dig Harry's passion for Hellboy

    by DoctorWho?

  • July 9, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    All The Hate

    by rogueleader66

    On these TB's is ridiculous. So we all have different opinions, SO FUCKING WHAT. To debate is one thing, but to just insult and be an asshole is uncalled for, no matter what you may think of the other person. I am guilty of it myself once in a while, but there are people on here who live just to be insulting assholes. Take it someplace else.

  • July 9, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Reviews be damned or praised...

    by mrfan

    I will be seeing this badboy this weekend. Love the Hellboy.

  • July 9, 2008, 6:36 p.m. CST

    Dark Knight Review Harry?

    by the_scream

    When is it coming. I am keen to hear what you think.

  • July 9, 2008, 6:44 p.m. CST

    Bringing in the whole cost to make thing is pointless

    by Sakurai

    That has nothing to do with the quality of the film, so why mention it in a review? I am sure the film is great, but to say it's greater because they spent less on craft services is crazy.

  • July 9, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST


    by theredtoad

    I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad Del Toro is done with this movie. Now he can delve into the horror/fantasy once again, and serve the H.P. Lovecraft story some justice. I WANT GIANT ALBINO PENGUINS DAMMIT!

  • July 9, 2008, 7:11 p.m. CST

    Believe it. It rocked.

    by cdubbs727

    Saw this at a press screening last night in Detroit. And yep, it's pretty great. I think GdT was really energized by Pan's Labyrinth and he tells a story that's not formulaic or predictable and can't even be justified as "just" a comic book movie. This is a fantasy epic and the troll market scene is one of the great pleasures of this summer. Although the beer and Barry Manilow scene is the highlight, bar none. I'm even going to go out on a limb and say I thought it was a more enjoyable film than Iron Man, which I really enjoyed. I'm excited for The Hobbit, but even more excited to see a third Hellboy, although I think the Universal Monsters idea won't work...why try to outdo Van Helsing? ;-)

  • July 9, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    Is There Any Superhero Movie Harry Doesn't Love?

    by BigTuna

    I mean really, you love everything this summer. You're not a good critic because you're just too much of a fanboy.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:15 p.m. CST

    Too much of a fanboy?

    by rogueleader66

  • July 9, 2008, 8:16 p.m. CST

    This IS a fanboy site genius

    by rogueleader66

  • July 9, 2008, 8:23 p.m. CST

    Veidt I wasn't referencing you at all.


    You're actually pretty polite in your disagreement, but the vast majority of these clowns are just looking for a punching bag. Harry deserves some defense, and in terms of showing a lack of class, I am referencing the fact that these douchebags constantly visit Harry's site and berate him. And yeah, they often are jaded idiot losers who will probably still show up in line to see these films regardless of what critics say. I couldn't care what language they frame their arguments in, but to constantly insult someone is just moronic, and they deserve to be called out. So what if Harry likes genre flicks and he gives more favourable reviews than negative? Most of these basement dwelling netwads have decided to hate everything they see. Sorry, that's pretty much the way these people act, and some of us are here for a reasonable discussion about the film, not to hear the reviewer get his ass handed to him by a bunch of assholes. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing, but there is something wrong with being a prick about it. Small penis syndrome I think. Regardless, As I said, you're not one of the bunch I'm referencing.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:23 p.m. CST

    Thank you rogueleader.


    Somebody had to point out the obvious.

  • July 9, 2008, 8:33 p.m. CST

    I'd also like to point out that A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKED CRYSTAL SK


    Because we saw the film with reasonable expectations. I did not expect it to be as good as Raiders. It was better than Temple of Doom, and that's all I wanted. And to the guy who said Pan's Labyrinth sucked. You are hopefully one of the few people who thought that film sucked ass, or maybe you just have the attention span of a hummingbird with attention deficit disorder.

  • July 9, 2008, 9:57 p.m. CST

    Hey Jeffrey,

    by DoctorWho?

    Get your sorry ass back to the TDK talk back. You can run but you can't hide. HA!

  • July 9, 2008, 10:01 p.m. CST

    Hellboy is going to send a message...

    by DoctorWho? all those other studios making the bloated budget summer films. All I want is a good film, I don't care if it grosses $26 worldwide...but I would love to see this film's B.O. draw raise some eyebrows in the studio board rooms.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:12 p.m. CST


    by BillEmic

    Where do you go for advance screenings in Detroit? I live in the area but rarely hear about preview screenings...I want to be plugged in!

  • July 9, 2008, 10:30 p.m. CST

    I don't know what is less surprising

    by TVguy4566

    Harry loving Hellboy 2 or the fact that he wrote yet another glowing review of a film while barely actually writing a review of a film. We get a filmography of Del Torro, a run down of the budget of this summer blockbusters, Harry reminisicing about Fantastic Four comic books, and a minireview of Pan's Labyryth. At least it was better than Harry spending an entire Incredible Hulk review going on about a Marvel Universe in films and actually spend about two sentences actually talking about the actual film. <br><br> Harry have you ever been checked for ADD? A little Ritalin goes a long way.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:39 p.m. CST

    I don't get it

    by deanbarry

    Harry writes a review on a movie. His own personnal thoughts and feelings on it. Then Talkbackers bash him for it? "HARRY LET US DOWN!" Is written in bold print. "He Lead Us Astray!" WTF!!! Go see the movie for yourself and then form your own opinion. If it contrasts to Harry' Don't be a follower or a sheep and trust everything he writes to be gospel. It's HIS opinion. First and foremost. I am looking foward to seeing HellBoy 2. I like del Toro's previous works. I enjoyed the first movie. The trailers have caught my eye. I read Harry's opinion on what he thought of the film, but it is not going to sway my decision to see it one way or another. I am a film fan. Just like he is, and I assume, like MOST of the Talkbackers on this site.

  • July 9, 2008, 10:43 p.m. CST

    Godfather2 is to Dark Knight what Hellboy 2 is to

    by jah_kingdom

    Teen Wolf 2. As Gob would say,"C'mon!" Even Hellboy 2's trailer is boring, it all comes off forced. And time will show me correct when I say that Pan's was way over-rated. Devil's Backbone is a far better film.

  • July 9, 2008, 11:03 p.m. CST

    The ELEMENTAL sequence

    by oisin5199

    Harry's not talking about the effects, which are great, but the emotional content of the scene. Just see it, you'll know what he means. That's the part of the movie when I welled up the most. What's also great is that it made me long for a real Alan Moore-era Swamp Thing movie. Del Toro had to have been influenced by Swampy for that scene, and a quick bit afterwards with media reaction to 'interspecies relations' was also reminiscent of Moore's Swamp Thing. <p>Anyway, the movie isn't perfect, some of the pacing is a bit off and earlier in the film it seems like we're jumping from action sequence to action sequence, but it eventually adds up to something pretty interesting and a whole lot of fun. Even my 15 year old step son commented 'are we supposed to like the bad guy? 'cause I kinda do.' I like that. And Abe Sapien kinda makes the film this time around. Sing it Abe!

  • July 9, 2008, 11:06 p.m. CST

    What the hell is "squirt?"

    by jackofhearts29

    "there’s this crazy fucking mad-mexican genius pouring tequila, squirt, sea salt and lime juice down your gullet..." Or do I really not want to know

  • July 9, 2008, 11:41 p.m. CST


    by cepaceous

    Tequila, Ice, Squirt (Grapefruit Soda), Salt, and Lime. BEST. DRINK. EVER! Especially during the summer. I want to have Harry's babies for loving and referencing this drink.

  • July 9, 2008, 11:41 p.m. CST

    I hated it

    by i kick tits

    I saw it 3 weeks ago and I fell asleep about twenty minutes in. I wasn't even remotely tired yet somehow, I managed to doze off for a few blissful moments. I really can't understand how anybody liked this movie. I really just can not. It was abysmal. And this is coming from someone who actually enjoyed Indy 4. I genuinely thought this would be a movie I would thoroughly enjoy, but boy was I was wrong. Seriously, can somebody please be so kind as to indicate to me just what was it about this movie that made it so extraordinary because I honestly would like to know.

  • July 9, 2008, 11:42 p.m. CST

    Squirt = Grapefruit Soda

    by cepaceous

    Not sure if it's sold outside the U.S.

  • July 10, 2008, 12:26 a.m. CST

    Unusual Review

    by La Frog

    ... and in a good way. It has been a while since Harry was able to write a full review without the mandatory mention about "creaming pants" and other semen dirty allusions, that make only pizza-faced virgin fanboys giggle. Your women readers appreciate, Mr Knowles.

  • July 10, 2008, 12:42 a.m. CST

    Dark Knight

    by tyler_turden

    Harry, I know you run a this beast but where the fuck is your Dark Knight review? I refuse to believe others have wrapped thier retinas around it and you have not.

  • July 10, 2008, 12:53 a.m. CST

    Hellboy 2: Electric Boogaloo.

    by Fa Fa Fooey

    It could happen.

  • July 10, 2008, 12:59 a.m. CST

    this is a movie... you don't cream in your pants

    by thebearovingian

    You cream in your pants/have your ass licked/get a pussy juice lap dance nearly every movie but pointing at the screen is a no no.<p>I for one don't want Harry's Dark Knight review. What more could he say that hasn't been said by others (and probably better, too, might I add). I've got a weird feeling that Harry will be the only one in the world who would pan it. Ahh, the great enigma that is Harry Knowles. Sent here by the movie gods to test us. Much like Satan.

  • July 10, 2008, 1:08 a.m. CST

    i've seen it 2x's

    by gdeo

    i saw this masterpiece twice last week and LOVED IT! and you're gonna love it too!

  • July 10, 2008, 1:10 a.m. CST

    jeff albertson

    by Aquanaut

    i know a lot about batman too, and i am not calling the dark knight "tdkino".

  • July 10, 2008, 1:35 a.m. CST

    What is a good review?

    by Messyjoe

    I am surprised that people come here to dish on this review. If you don't like Harry's opinion why bother looking at it? OK he loved Crystal Skull, and consensus is that it was rather mediocre. But it was pleasant enough, not extremely bad, so if he likes it more than most, so what? All the references for Dark Knight seem out of place. If you are waiting for that movie and don't care for Hellboy, hold off till that movie comes out. I have previously referred to the Troll Market scene in an other review, to make the point that attention to detail, loving attention to detail, pays off, in creating that authentic memorable feel for what otherwise would be utterly fantastic and alien. This seems to have been achieved with the Troll Market scene (and in my opinion, what was no where near to have been special in the Cantina Scene. That was memorable because it was made in a simpler time, when less was good enough.) Not that Hellboy is perfect. I have not seen it yet, (I know about the Troll Market from production notes), just the trailers, and any repeat of PAN monsters was just laziness on Toro's part. I expect to enjoy it, and hope to see part 3. But then I also hope for the rest of the Golden Compass to be made too.

  • July 10, 2008, 1:56 a.m. CST

    yeah tough to take this review totally seriously

    by Rupee88

    Harry and Del Toro are buddies...he wouldn't say the movie sucked even if it did. I'm not saying he didn't love it, but there's no way to tell if he did or not. I will wait for the Tomatometer to decide whether I will see this or not...or rather if I will pay to see it. I see most everything with any potential via Usenet, but only pay for movies that deserve my $.

  • July 10, 2008, 4:15 a.m. CST

    Give'em a year or two, We'll see Guillermo wannabe's soon

    by Monkey_King

    Hollywood is taking notes. Not sure if they know they fucked up on many a super-hero vehicle in the past, but it's finally settling in. I'm prepared(and I prophesize this!) for better super-hero films, more faithful to their comics source, but I also feel the retarded remake craze is far from being over or we'll get more miscast superheroes like Nick Fury or Kingpin in the future from Marvel hacks.

  • July 10, 2008, 5:36 a.m. CST

    Harry ........

    by Be_a_zed

    ......... Loves a film made by one of his friends ? Weird. You could say shocking !

  • July 10, 2008, 5:52 a.m. CST

    oi'll go on record and say i didn't like pan's labyrinth

    by Mr_X

    sorry, but i was bored by it and couldn't understand the hype. can't win them all! hell boy I'll definitely watch though

  • July 10, 2008, 6:19 a.m. CST

    The Mist just opened in the UK

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Saw it last night. Amazing.

  • July 10, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    speaking of comic book movies..

    by emeraldboy

    It looks like the hulk franchise is coming to an end. Universal has not green lit a sequel and the word seems to be that Universal is indifferent to making another one. it no longer sees sequels as the future. Favs has just signed to do Iron man 2.

  • July 10, 2008, 7:09 a.m. CST

    On Hulk...

    by critch

    It made more money than the first, and will keep the momentum towards the Avengers going, so it's a success. We really don't need another one I don't think.

  • July 10, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST


    by Sailor Rip

    I think his point was we're speaking English here on a site based in the US, just use the English titles. <p> Or don't.

  • July 10, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    Fred's Review

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    Fred saw HBII at sneak on Tuesday. Short review: It not suck, but it not as good as first either. Longer review: It lacked heart of first movie. Whereas first movie, even with it's flaws, felt like a close knit family - with one major black, er red sheep, including the non-powered bureau guys, this one feels like a supernatural MIB.<p> In the first movie, the supernatural doings were less frequent, and thus more exotic. It lent credence to the infrequent, and thus legendary sightings of HB and company. But in this movie, they are every day occurences. The HQ is over run with creatures, and while they try to be nonchalant about it, it is nevertheless very distracting. The dynamic between Abe, Liz and HB is good, but it was much better in first movie. There was tension there, that does not exist at all in this movie. Yes, I know they are a couple now, but outside of a pointless early scene of Liz and HB fighting, it really generates no sense of moment between them. Abe gets a much bigger role, and does very well with it, and his interactions with the Princess are the highlight of the movie. That being said, the huge plothole of bringing the princess who is linked to her twin into the heart of the HQ complex and blithely ignoring her warning that she will be followed, is dumbfounding. I will not give away any thing, but will say that Abe makes some very bad decisions, that are not explainable by simply being in love -more of a lazy scriptwriter. <p> The worst scene in entire movie, where the movie jumps the Troll, is the so called Troll market. It reminded not so much of the Cantina, as of Diagon Alley. Even the entrance to this 'magical' place, was a total rip-off. It takes you out of the story. They really jumped the troll with that one.<p> The problem is that this movie, like most sequels, believes that bigger is better. More monsters. More fights, more creatures - who by the way, seem to be leftovers from Pans Labyinth. But no tension. None. No sense of wonder and awe. <p> GDT packed a lot into this, and did a great job with his budget, but the ironic thing given the origin of HB is, despite the visual wealth on screen, despite the forced attempts at humor - that rarely succeeds and despite a villain who tries to be sympathetic - but is never a match for, HB Hellboy II is missing part of it's soul. <p> This is just Fred's opinion, and all opinions are subjective. See the movie for yourself - it not a bad movie, but Fred would not pay to see it again. And paying to see a movie again, is a true sign of how much you enjoyed it.

  • July 10, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST



    Those two preferences are hardly comparative. Taste in film is subjective, and for most fanboy jackasses whose expectations are completely unrealistic nothing is going to please them. George W. Bush is only appreciated by inbred rednecks who can't do simple mathematics or string a coherent sentence together. Crystal Skull wasn't a perfect film by any means, but the abject hatred for it is uncalled for. It's a fucking movie, and it was made two decades later than it should have been. What the hell did you people expect? He couldn't well fight Nazis in the 50's could he? No, but the film captured pretty much what everyone feared in the 50's: Commies, UFOs and nuclear weapons. If you hated it that's your problem. Many of us had more realistic expectations. Sorry if you were expecting something else after two decades and with a geriatric leading man, but I'm not that stupid. To compare that to liking the most idiotic president in history is fucking stupid. I hope you aren't that stupid.

  • July 10, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    speaking of sequals...

    by Docbrowneye

  • July 10, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Hellboy II: One Bad Fucking Acid Trip

    by Slippy

    The creatures in this movie look like the shit I saw back in college after a night of drinking and a few tabs. I would hate to see the shit that is spawn from Guillermo del Toro's brain that doesn't make the screen.

  • July 10, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Saw it and it 'NUKED THE FRIDGE'

    by vanman009

    I know Harry would love it.

  • July 10, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Crystal Skull vs. HBII

    by oisin5199

    Well, one of the main differences between the 2 films, in my opinion, is that Hellboy II actually requires some amount of brain power to process the film (ie. it's actually about something) whereas Crystal Skull didn't. Whereas CK could have been about aging, colonialism, Cold War-era fear and paranoia, etc. Lucas chose to dumb it down so that it indeed is 'pleasant enough' but so obviously a relic of a more innocent time (50s and the 80s). It's a nostalgia fest with little substance. Whereas HBII actually continues Del Toro's themes of the tension between fantasy and reality, world and underworld, storytelling, normal and freak. I don't get these supernatural Men In Black comparisons. If anything, the first film felt more like that. Here, the film is completely from the perspective of the freaks who work for the BPRD and the decisions they make about their own lives. <p>Anyway, here's my ranking of summer films I've seen so far: 1)Iron Man 2)Hellboy II 3)Speed Racer 4)Incredible Hulk 5)Prince Caspian 6)Crystal Skull <p>I thought about Wanted and Hancock, but wasn't terribly motivated.

  • July 10, 2008, 1:48 p.m. CST

    A killer director

    by dirtsandwich

    It's just that simple. I like Cameron, Jackson, Del Toro, Zemeckis, Spielberg, and of course Nolan.

  • July 10, 2008, 4:36 p.m. CST

    can't get enough catchphrase spam!

    by wash

    It totally Electricted The Boogaloo!

  • July 10, 2008, 4:42 p.m. CST

    Hellboy II: Who Gives a Sh*t?

    by darthvedder81

    Is what this movie should be called. It will be lucky to crack the top 5 this weekend and will be absolutely buried by TDK next week.

  • July 10, 2008, 7:42 p.m. CST

    Evryone should give a sh*t.

    by Bubba Gillman

    It's a great movie.

  • July 10, 2008, 8:19 p.m. CST

    I am going tomorrow

    by disfigurehead

    I think they should have released it in April like the first Hellboy. I am thinking this will unfortunately get buried. I hope not.

  • July 10, 2008, 9:20 p.m. CST

    I'm super pumped.

    by mefrog

    The first Hellboy was mediocre by my standards but this looks like Guillermo had total freedom, no studio restraints. And my god, it looks outstanding.<br> <br> Question though Harry: Where's your WALL-E review?

  • July 10, 2008, 9:53 p.m. CST

    "Schizo" indeed!

    by Citizen Sane

    For the record, Pan's Labyrynth is WAY over-rated. It has some glaring flaws (i.g. a two-dimensional, mindless villian for one) while Hellboy is incessantly underrated. I told a good friend of mine a year ago tha Del Toro was going to end-up with The Hobbit (he dismissed that). Thank goodness that Peter Jackson will be on-hand. Otherwise Del-Toro might go on one of his bad-benders with it.

  • July 10, 2008, 10:22 p.m. CST

    Pan's was overrated, but still ok. better than Hellboy

    by BMacSmith

    by far.

  • July 11, 2008, 1:48 a.m. CST

    No blood?

    by GregoryHarbin

    Was Harry watching the same film I was? There's plenty of blood in this film. Blood, decapitations...this is a HARD PG-13.

  • July 11, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Good movie.

    by Shermdawg

    I approve.

  • July 11, 2008, 4:11 p.m. CST

    I just saw it

    by disfigurehead

    I loved it. Now I am ready for The Dark Knight next week.

  • July 11, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    John Hurt

    by disfigurehead

    Great actor. It was good to see him in a role where he did not have to degrade himself for George Lucas' pleasure.

  • July 11, 2008, 6:57 p.m. CST

    No way this film gets buried DarthVedder!

    by Dogmatic

    My theatre was packed out at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon with familie and all demographics represented. Meet Dave sure ain't gonna be Eddie Murphy's next come back movie and Journey to Center of the Earth 3D? Come onnn... <P> Now of course next week it will get soundly dropped deep into 2nd place behind Dark Knight but this film has the legs to ride the #2 spot for at least a couple of weeks in Dark Knight's shadow and that coming off a #1 debut week. <P> So there....give a sh*t

  • July 11, 2008, 10:10 p.m. CST


    by brobdingnag

    II is definitely more of a visual feast but thats about the only area it surpasses the original. They need to cut out about 80% of the "attempted" humor. It flat out did not work and was not funny. In the first film Liz is a conflicted, interesting character. Here she is reduced to playing a soccer mom. As far as Doug Jones being able to voice Abe this time....there is a REASON he keeps losing the job of doing the voice of the prosthetic-laden characters he plays, and this film exposes it. Its like they skipped the requisite instant classic stage of a franchise and went directly to the sellout. I won't even go into the unforgivable plot holes. Sorry, but this is definitely a step down from the first film.

  • July 11, 2008, 10:17 p.m. CST


    by brobdingnag

    Yeah WTF is wrong with these assholes calling Harry out on his obvious bias in a public message board designed for that express purpose. Harry is happy as fuck people are here calling him out, that means he is getting traffic. I rather suspect he prefers that over you telling people to go to another site. Please do grow the fuck up as soon as you can manage it.

  • July 12, 2008, 12:24 a.m. CST

    I want to have Ron Perlman's baby...

    by themaltesenuthatch

    same goes for Del Toro. He is the only one with the ability to pick up the mantle put down by Jim Henson 'lo those many years ago;(sadly there is a "but") But as visually astounding as this movie is, it just didn't have it all going on. There was no middle to the story, just a good beginning, a good ending and then a "that was it"? Go see it, definitely worth it. But it's a 7, 7.5 tops.

  • July 12, 2008, 1:39 a.m. CST

    Looks like someone sent Harry a fruit basket...

    by ChuckImania

    I loved the movie, it was great, but this review seems a little to over the top from what I've seen... Del Toro must have sent Harry a fruit basket, or an all expensed paid vacation. This movie has plenty of blood in it by the way; with that said I'd say it's totally kid safe.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:12 a.m. CST


    by PhxMonsterGuy

  • July 12, 2008, 2:17 a.m. CST

    Please take Batman's cock out of your mouth

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    Please take Batman's cock out of your mouth long enough to get the other films out there a chance. SOOOO goddamn tired of all you Batfaggots slamming every film out there that's not that goddamn Dark Knight, which you haven't even fucking seen yet.

  • July 12, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Who cares if he's friends with Guillermo?

    by Zeegloo

    This movie IS hella-fuckin-balls-to-the-wall awesome.

  • July 12, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST

    Great film

    by Alientoast

    Very entertaining. I do agree that not enough was done with Liz this time around. Although honestly, between Abe and Kraus and Nuada, there wasn't too much room. Kraus was bloody awesome in this. Nuada was a great villain, because he wasn't a straight out villain. The fantasy creatures got a shit deal in the end, he knew it. There was no balance anymore. While genocide may have been a bit harsh, in his eyes THEY were the ones being subjected to a genocide and he was only trying to save them. I liked how the forest god wasn't just some "yay he died we win" type deal. Hellboy had it put in straight terms: He is the last of his kind. You kill him, they will never walk the earth again.

  • July 12, 2008, 6:47 p.m. CST

    SO Disappointed

    by StrokerX

    seriously...If you read the comic book and liked this movie than your freaking INSANE. I shall go thru my SPOILER ALERT!!! reasons in a random run on sentence: <p> Young Hellboy....why'd he have to be played like the village idiot? The horns looked silly. Why does everyone in Del Toro's movies have to spin a sword around 20 times before ACTUALLY attacking with it? When the prince jumped down at the auction and the guard is just watching him swing the sword around in awe....just silly. The "comedy" was not all...maybe one or two lines had me giggle. The prince is after his he finds sister at the top of Troll Market...but does not try to get all....until later in the movie...DUMB. Hellboy wanting to be on tv? Completely out of character. The whole love angle...about as DUMB as the superman returns fiasco. The troll market...with something as cool sounding as "The Troll Market" seems like it couldve been shot/built to look better then any other scene from Babylon 5. WHY in God's name does the Sister stab herself in the freaking chest instead of simply saying "look out!"....nooooo...i think i'll stay silent and take out this dagger and kill myself...OKAYYYYYY.....saw a few wire-fu moments...lets leave those out of hellboy shall we? The way Johann Krauss was depicted was once again OUT OF CHARACTER...he's way cooler in the comics...and YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET OFF OF DOUG JONES NUTSAC!!! Abe is NOT A FAIRY....ABE in the comic is about as tough as hellboy....NOT A FISH VERSION OF C3PO. SO DISAPPOINTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even tho the first movie sucked....i had hopes that Del Toro could pull it off....i was wrong. He'll do good in the Hobbit...just keep him away from Hellboy PLEASE!!!

  • July 12, 2008, 6:53 p.m. CST

    "not so much the stuff of horror as they are of fantasy"

    by StrokerX

    NEWS FLASH HARRY! Hellboy is a HORROR comic.

  • July 12, 2008, 6:54 p.m. CST


    by StrokerX

    The drunk signing scene. LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME....OUT OF CHARACTER!!! BAH!

  • July 12, 2008, 7:05 p.m. CST

    AND How about

    by StrokerX

    let's not forget Abe and Liz's wonderful idea to take Hellboy to the Prince and make him take out that piece of spear. Bad Prince! Hey you big meanie, take this out! ok? YEAH! um..........NO

  • July 12, 2008, 8:52 p.m. CST

    Not lame.

    by Shermdawg

    The drunken duet was awesome.

  • July 12, 2008, 10:30 p.m. CST

    HBII; A Very good movie!

    by Dresh

    I'm not into the comic. And I didn't like the first movie. This, however, was solid and entertaining. My theater was filled with people who didn't seem to know the character - there were two older guys, in their 80's - and even THEY seemed to be having a good time with it. It's fast, action-packed, idiosyncratic, and beautiful. DelToro has great imagination, but his previous movies all have major pacing problems. HBII moves!, and the action scenes are cool and exciting. Picking on plot points and lack or "real romance" or heart (whatever that means for a comic book film?) is completely besides the point. HBII makes all its characters just charming enough, where you care for them, but mostly it puts everything into a tight and beautiful package. Don't take it too seriously. .... AND enough Harry bashing already! Boring.

  • July 13, 2008, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Jeff Albertson...

    by Dark Knight Lite

    I've been reading Batman for over 40 years, and Nolan's universe is by far the closest filmed version of what Kane and Finger created back in 1939, with significant shades of Frank Miller and Jeph Loeb's work. You can posture all you want, but answer these two questions before you impugn my authority: my masters degree thesis was on comic books - was yours? I've taught university courses on the comic book as literature - have you? Hope that cleared things up for you. Dark Knight Out.

  • July 13, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Not the Cantina, BUT.....

    by LegendaryPinkDot

    I found this scene to be much closer to Boone's first discovery of Midia in Barker's NIGHTBREED, than the Cantina. FAR closer actually A great movie (both of them)

  • July 13, 2008, 9:48 a.m. CST


    by Bricktops hammer

    Cool visuals, shitty dialogue and plot.

  • July 13, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST

    this was phantom menace bad

    by glorax

    This movie fucking sucked. Del Toro is a blowhard one trick pony who relies on a specific aesthetic style of monsters to sell his movies. The dialogue was gut wrentching, the attempts at humor could perhaps make a fat 8 year old chuckle, but no one else. Selma Blair is the worst actress i've ever seen. And worst of all, I found hellboy to be a generally unlikeable character. Read the comics forget this pile of shit .

  • July 13, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Dark Knight Lite

    by brobdingnag

    First of all, this TB is about HB and secondly you are full of it. Nolan's Gotham is Chicago and nothing but Chicago. Burton's vision of Gotham was better BY FAR. Batman dead end did more in 8 min than Nolan did in 2+ hours in Begins (which was boring as fuck). Kane & Finger did not have Batman wearing armor.

  • July 13, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST


    by DoctorWho?

    It depends on how you like you Batman served...Gothic fantasy style or more modern day, realistic (of course still exaggerated) crime saga vibe. No blending of Art Deco and modern technology to create an 'other worldly' comic book feel with Nolan. I prefer the focus being more on taking on the criminal underworld and it's repercussions rather than over the top super villians orgins and magical batmobile gadgets. And BTW, Burton's Batman also wore some kind of armor style suit. But hey, it's all personal taste. I loved the mythical Batman thing but man did it run it's course or what? I always wanted to see a 1940's Batman style film...heavy on the detective work please. In the 40's I can buy the cloth bat suit concept...not circa 2008

  • July 13, 2008, 9:07 p.m. CST

    I like the taste of Batman's cock.

    by Finding Forrestal

    Sorry, PhxMonsterGuy.

  • July 13, 2008, 9:30 p.m. CST

    It's funny that you guys bring up Batman...

    by 11ZOMBIES

    My response to people at their shock at my dislike of the first Hellboy film is always this: Let's say they made this movie called "Batman". "Batman" looks and sounds exactly like he does in the comics, but at the end of the film "Batman" pulls out a gun and shoots the villain in the head. As everyone who has ever read the comics knows, this would completely eviscerate the character. The first Hellboy film is this version of that hypothetical Batman movie. At the end of "Hellboy"- the movie- a pantywaist called "Agent Myers" actually has to remind Hellboy- a character so great in the comics because he rejects his seemingly Hell-born heritage to fight the evil forces- that he is, in fact, a hero, thus completely eviscerating one of the things that makes the comic book Hellboy- the REAL Hellboy- such a great character. A more true cinematic vision of Mignola's universe would be truly stunning.

  • July 14, 2008, 4:59 a.m. CST


    by Finding Forrestal

    The "hypothetical" Batman film you refer to actually exists. It's called BATMAN RETURNS and instead of shooting the bad guy with a gun, the Dark Knight straps dynamite to the poor bastard and blows him the fuck up. Bob Kane would be proud.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    I loved it...

    by just pillow talk

    I don't know how it compares to the comic, but as stand-alone movies, I really enjoy the world that they inhabit. I liked the prince as a villain, I like the new characters brought onto the scene...and like the promise of a dark third chapter, with HB having to make a choice.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:58 a.m. CST


    by StrokerX

    On the nose my friend...on the nose.

  • July 14, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    I tend to agree Anchorite

    by DoctorWho?

    I really expected more. It saddens me to say it but after a day to digest was just kind of mediocre. I never once got wrapped up in the story...I never once forgot I was watching a movie with Ron Perlman, Selma Blair and dirested by Del Toro. Not magical, no tension...lots of spectacle though. I liked it... but I'm jealous of all you guys like Harry who felt like you were 8 yrs old again. As I said in the other talk back...too much playing it up for laughs in this one. Very much in the same league as Spidey 3 dissapointment for me. But I will be there for Hellboy 3 if he does one.

  • July 14, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Hellboy = Dark Lovecraftian horror/Nazi ass-kicking

    by pelos_locos

    NOT Harry potter sing-a-long. <p> **MEGA-SPOILER-AHEAD***Too mushy. Not dark enough. Not even close to the HB from first movie. And what the HELL is that about ****SPOILER BEGINS**** HB being a dad? ***ENDS****<p> Pick any HB comic/graphic novel. HB is more of a loner than a team player. You feel that he is in constant internal struggle because every supernatural being he finds keeps bugging him about his destiny. And even the fantasy stories have a dark theme to it. Even the smallest fairy in the comics is dark and evil. <p> I would have enjoyed it a lot had it been darker and not so "funny". Next time, leave the love story out.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:32 p.m. CST

    This movie was awful

    by Speed Fricassee

    And I'm a HUGE del Toro fan... at least I'm still able to look at this film objectively, and not just be trapped by blind devotion. Seriously, This movie was del Toro's first bad film. Sad, too.

  • July 14, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    sorry Speed

    by just pillow talk

    but one can like the film and not be "trapped by blind devotion".

  • July 14, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    fine with me that you like it, JPT..

    by Speed Fricassee

    .. but I DO go around touting myself as one of del Toro's biggest fans -- so, by default, I *should* love this film, no questions asked. But honestly, I'm proud that I can step back form this turkey and see it for what it is. It did not live up to del Toro's finely tuned sense of perfect pacing, action, fantasy and character development. It was forced, contained too much of everything, and suffered terribly as a result. I hope del Toro learns form this mistake of a film and realizes why the first Hellboy was massively superior.

  • July 14, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    So Indy 4 is the best of the summer so far

    by strosmer

    Says a lot about what this summer has actually had to offer in terms of blockbusters. Iron Man can be argued to be the best so far, but I just liked Indy 4 a little better overall. This has promised to be one of the best summers at the movies in years, but I don't feel anything has truly delivered yet, not even Wall-E. There is that Batman movie opening this Friday. I think that one may be the only one to have true spectacle this year. For godssake, I hope so. I'm getting bored already.

  • July 14, 2008, 4:34 p.m. CST

    I saw The Dark KNight in IMAX last week

    by Speed Fricassee

    And truly, the way-fukkin-uber-coolest-BEST blockbuster of the summer. So far. But I highly doubt that XFiles will even touch it.

  • July 14, 2008, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Just saw it, great film

    by Second Try

  • July 14, 2008, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Hellboy 2 kicks ass

    by Second Try

    that is all

  • July 14, 2008, 6:50 p.m. CST

    Pretty Damn Good

    by Partyslammer

    While I've read in more than one movie review from any number of flicks this past month that this Summer is the Summer of Superhero/Comic Book movies, what no one is saying is that it's the year of *great* superhero movies. Although I haven't seen Hancock yet, I can say that Iron Man, Hellboy II and even the somewhat mediocre Hulk are vastly better movies of this type than 80% of all the previous superhero movies of the past 3 decades. <p> And at least visually, Hellboy II is probably the most imaginative and beautiful looking fantasy movie since perhaps Terry Gilliam's best work on movies like Time Bandits. There's really nothing else out there that even comes close to the imagination and production design evident in this movie. <p> It's not perfect (I do agree with a few of "StrokerX's" slams and would have really preferred a darker, harder tone), but overall in every way possible, it's much better than the first movie (which I liked a lot). I'm a huge fan of artist/writer Mike Mignola's work but I really don't have a problem with the liberties taken with this franchise in the transition to the screen. <p> The new character, "Krauss" is a German ghost living in a weird glass-domed diving suit amusingly voiced by Seth McFarland and steals many of the scenes he's in. Perlman and the rest of the returning cast from the first movie greatly expand and improve their respective characters. Unlike Iron Man and The Hulk, this movie's last 20 minutes don't seem like a tagged on afterthought. <p> Yeah, this movie may put off some who could never get into fairly old-school fantasy films of the likes of Time Bandits or the old 50's and 60's Ray Harryhausen mythology flicks but if you can suspend your sense of disbelief and let your sense of wonder go free for a couple hours, this movie is well worth seeing.

  • July 14, 2008, 9:18 p.m. CST


    by Bricktops hammer

    Thank you, finally someone who saw the same shitstorm I did. Has everyone lost it...this movie was just plain bad.

  • July 14, 2008, 10:06 p.m. CST


    by Bricktops hammer

    Indy4? Really...another garbage film

  • July 15, 2008, 7:25 p.m. CST



    Surely you jest. As if anyone's going to miss a handful of assclown trash talkers. This website has enough notoriety that I doubt the lack of inane posts accusing Harry of having a "bias" would be viewed by anyone as a detriment. You accuse me of needing to grow up? That's rich. This coming from someone who views shit slinging and juvenile antics in a positive light. Hilarious. As for Harry's "bias", so he liked his friends movie. Big fucking deal. SO DO MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO'VE SEEN IT. Some of you fuckers hate everything, and bitch constantly, so what else is new. Realistic expectations are far more often met than lofty ones. Stop expecting every film to be the best one you've ever seen. And anybody who expected Crystal Skull to exceed expectations or to live up to what was done 20 years ago is a fuckwit. Get real. Ford is nearing his mid-sixties, you naive rubes.

  • July 15, 2008, 7:38 p.m. CST

    Also, if you thought Batman Begins was boring...


    You should have your mouth sewn shut, and you should be sterilized. Burton's film was pretty to look at, but the substance was nonexistent. His Batmobile had to launch a fucking grappling hook to take a right hand turn, real practical. Oh, and Joker killed Bruce's parents, which is bullshit. If you were bored by the ACTUAL origin of Batman, then I guess that's sad for you. Nolan's Gotham actually looked like a real city rather than a soundstage. I like Burton's film for what it is, but it's inferior to the new series in every way. Anybody who was bored by Batman Begins has the attention span of a 4 year old, and an I.Q. equivalent to someone roughly half that age.

  • July 16, 2008, 5:19 p.m. CST

    There's nothing wrong with differing in opinion.


    He's liked a lot of stuff that I didn't care fore personally, but I do think it's pretty asinine to continually visit someone's site and berate them. It's juvenile. Also, given that fandom is known for being bitter, jaded, and hating fucking everything, I don't think that one optimistic reviewer is something to spew bile at, he should be lauded for his boundless optimism, and it's merely a testament to his patience, and decency that he doesn't have people like that banned. If this was my site, I would. We're here to talk about movies, not to call each other names like a bunch of high school dropout morons. Grow up gang. Elevate the dialogue. Disagree, but do it in a dignified way.

  • July 16, 2008, 10:13 p.m. CST


    by Partyslammer

    SCYTHEOFLUNA first wrote: <p> "You should have your mouth sewn shut, and you should be sterilized." <p> "Anybody who was bored by Batman Begins has the attention span of a 4 year old, and an I.Q. equivalent to someone roughly half that age." <p> SCYTHEOFLUNA later wrote: <p> We're here to talk about movies, not to call each other names like a bunch of high school dropout morons. Grow up gang. Elevate the dialogue. Disagree, but do it in a dignified way. <p> +++++++++++ <p> Ya right. Glad a goof like you can set the standards.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 2:07 a.m. CST

    This isn't Hellboy

    by Coulrophobia

    I had to google this review. Can't access it from the main page, even though there are still links for Speed Racer and The Happening reviews. WTF? I figure no one will read this but I don't care.<p> Anyway, while I can understand why some Hellboy fans might enjoy GDT's take on the character, I really don't get why ANYBODY would consider it "everything you ever wanted it to be." It's really not. It's like saying Burton's Batman was "everything you ever wanted Batman to be." It's absurd, and reveals a lack of understanding of what the character is about. Del Toro's Hellboy is NOT Mignola's Hellboy, and anyone who's read the comic books would agree that the source material is FAR SUPERIOR to what GDT has put on film. Not only that, but it bears little resemblance to it, as well. Hellboy is just a simple guy, not a stupid jock. Abe is NOT a psychic fish C3PO/Niles Crane (thanks StrokerX). Liz is not the Mary Sue who gets accidentally knocked up with twins by the hero. The comic is PULP HORROR, not fantasy! The film was cringeworthy from start to finish, and I'm frankly bewildered as to why people who profess so much love for the source material make little to NO EFFORT to preserve the integrity of said source material. It's almost as if Del Toro thinks he knows better and is actually improving on it. HE'S NOT. <p> I never thought I'd see the day I'd actually consider HB1 a good film, but compared to HB2 it's a fucking masterpiece. At least we got some classic nods to the comics there. At least there were nazis, Rasputin, a Corpse and Lovecraftian creatures. No such luck here. At least there was that one shining moment in the movie when Doug Jones as creature with weirdly placed eyes #23854 called HB "Anung un Rama". Yeah, that was cool. Not worth the ticket price, though. <p> One more thing: There is no romance angle in the original comics. I get that the suits probably wanted some romance in the film. I get it. But seriously Guillermo, you've been watching too many fucking telenovelas. That was so GOD-AWFUL it made me want to gouge my eyes out with my own hands and poke hot iron sticks through my ear canals as I witnessed. It was as if some 13 year old in love with Hellboy had been script editor. Some subtlety in that area would've been nice (see: Christopher Golden). As is, huge parts of it feel as if you’re watching a stupid, awkward romantic comedy with the name “Hellboy” slapped on it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for inter-humanoid-species action, but only if it’s done well, which is not the case. <p> All in all, I think HB2 is a decent kid's flick if we pretend it's supposed to be an independent vision and by no stretch of the imagination a faithful adaptation (change the credits from "Based on Mignola's HB" to "VERY LOOSELY based..."). It’s certainly a visually stunning film. But this is Del Toro's Hellboy, his vision. That said, it's STILL not one of GDT's best films by far. And if it's not GDT at his best, and not Mignola's universe at its best, then what's the fucking point? Honestly. Maybe one day we Hellboy fans will get our Dark Knight, but if this film proves anything, it’s that it won’t happen with Del Toro at the helm.

  • Aug. 15, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST


    by Coulrophobia

    Just in case someone ever reads this, I don't mean to say the first HB was better because it had more elements of the comic. I think it's better because it's more faithful to the comic not only in those aspects but also in story and character portrayal. Liz is Liz. HB is not retarded. Manning is at least less annoying. Neither film makes any effort whatsoever to capture Mignola's chiaroscuro universe, though - ancient, bleak, terrifying and evil, but beautiful nonetheless.<p> Also, to Harry... I meant no disrespect. Good for you if you enjoyed it that much. But IMHO, HB2 is not only NOT a great Hellboy film... it's not a great film, period.

  • Sept. 2, 2008, 6:41 a.m. CST

    Never read the comics...

    by GetEveryone

    But i do dabble with others (comics) often. <BR>Coulrophobia, it may not stand up to the original (albeit in a different format) but it sure as fuck makes a great movie. <BR>I saw Dark Knight on IMAX preview day, and believed that would always be my favourite cinema experience. But sitting in a (sadly) empty cinema, bar my girlfriend and I, and being able to talk about this wonderful film as it played out was pretty awesome. <BR>The elemental scene is emotional, the creations (creatures and sets) are works of art and the characters all pack a punch. <BR>Almost overlooked it; so, so glad I didn't.

  • Sept. 2, 2008, 6:42 a.m. CST

    Testing line breaks

    by GetEveryone

    Here is a sentence. <BR><BR> Here is another.

  • Sept. 2, 2008, 6:45 a.m. CST

    glad to hear ya liked it GetEveryone

    by just pillow talk

    It was great to watch this the week before TDK. I enjoyed the hell out of Hellboy II and I never read any of the comics either so I can't speak to the "faithfulness" of the movies.