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All Aboarrrrd!! Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha!! Fox Orders Six Episodes of The Ozzy Osbourne Variety Show!!
I am – Hercules
Ozzy, Sharon, Jack and Kelly Osbourne will star in six episodes of a new Fox variety show. Older sister Aimee Osbourne will again apparently have nothing to do with her family’s televised endeavors. Ditto Elliot, Jessica and Louis, Ozzy’s kids from his first marriage.
The new show looks to be another “Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour,” full of songs and sketches, only with more E.T.-like shuffling about.
Read all of Variety’s story on the matter here.
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I politely decline.
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what is this the brady bunch variety house? this has to be a joke!
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God, network TV sucks.
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Ever.
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Jul 07, 2008 12:37:08 AM CDT
etta e oing ta staa e upata da wa m aboot...SHARON!!!!!!!
by monkeybrains
the comedy styling of Mister Osborne
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Jul 07, 2008 12:39:40 AM CDT
And I thought that cover album was as low as Ozzy could go...
by maxthesilent
The only way this could justify its existence would be if at the end of the last show Iron Maiden could come out and egg the Osbournes where they sit.
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But then again, their reality show was a big success.
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As soon as ratings falter on either Fringe or Dollhouse, FOX will plug this in for a "try out" and then cancel the other show.
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Seriously, this family is approaching Aerosmith territory. I really know nothing about older sister Aimme, accept at this point she's the only Osbourne for whom I've any respect at all, for continuously choosing to not be a part of this ridiculousness. Good for her.
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If I'm not mistaken the eldest daughter had enough integrity not to be on The Simpsons Family Smile-Time Variety Hour as well. (sorry about that blank post, don't know what happened there) I think Ozzy would make a great Love-Matic Grandpa, though.
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Wow. I am shocked. Seriously, one of them has HIV, but this will not keep them from doing a variety show! Yay. Woo. I am at a loss for fucking words.
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just 6 more really tight episodes could finish the race and make for a kick-arse DVD pack.
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our children will be watching 'The Nicklebacks' reality show where that douchebag singer gets booed and bottles thrown at him by his kids.
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You know, to better fit in with Fox's other triumphs of television, such as When Animals Attack and all it's bullshit derivatives. Although to be fair, Osbournes have been crap for so long now who could really tell anymore anyway?Remember when Ozzy was cool? You know, before he was "kewl"? I miss those days...
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her own shower I suppose. At least there is proof that Ozzy does have a few offspring with some kinda damn sense.
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i fuckin hate getting old...cant we go back to the days when my parents forbid me from listening to that devil music??
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because most of our tv viewers are fuckin morons. These reality type shows will continue to kill good television.
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Gene Simmons. Maybe he'll give Ozzy a few pointers about how to better whore himself.
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Ditto Buffy. (Before anyone goes ballistic, I'm just kidding.)
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"...And I'm a little bit OCD!"
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Ozzy should channel his inner Dolemite and say: I'm gonna let 'em know that Ozzy is back on the scene! I'm gonna let 'em know that Ozzy is my name, and fuckin' up mutha fuckas is my game!
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Simply because people can't resist a train wreck. The best thing the producers could do with this is just take a hands off approach and let the insanity run free.
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...and that will be a glorious day.
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Wait...Phyllis Diller is still alive. Sort of.
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and still don't want to believe it's true.
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oh wrong network, equally fucked up.
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Jul 07, 2008 9:14:49 AM CDT
Will Sharon fuck the rotting corpse of Randy Rhodes?
by kentucky colonel
cause she's sure fucking the "OZZY" brand into the dirt. Prince of darkness or Clown Prince of darkness? Sigh...I remember when the cover to "Speak of the Devil" made my father all mad. Those were the days!
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They thought they were getting the OSMOND family.
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BETRAYED US ALL TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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UGH!
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will consist of him pouring buckets of water over his head to hide the fact that he just pissed his pants.
Have we no fucking sense or shame left? -
That all these people who have contributed positively to our culture are dropping like flies to cancer, drugs, and the like; but this incoherent limey fuck is still walking around out there?
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Ozzy's become such a joke, and its sad that this generation will only remember him as being a bumbling, cracked-out sellout from reality shows. His legacy is shit now, but I try to just focus on his music. Go listen to the Ultimate Sin album, totally underrated classic album.
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I mean oh fuck!
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The Osbournes used up their cultural relevance around '03. -
Satan just called. Ozzie can have his soul back and still keep the money if he just stays off TV for a little while.
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Flavor of Love...wait, no I wouldn't
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Jul 07, 2008 12:15:01 PM CDT
OH GOD I HOPE THIS IS AS GOOD AS THE BRADY BUNCH VARIETY HOUR
by hst666
Or at least Sonny and Cher
The Brady Bunch Special was so funny when TVland or whoever reaired it fifteen years ago. It was so laughably awful. I remembered watching it as a kid, but I did not appreciate how stupid it was at the time. -
but these are probably the last people I would have ever expected to do one. I'll check it out.
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...turns into an Aristocrats joke.
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"Some of us still enjoy scripted comedy, sir." "That's a good girl!"
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So there's this father, who's an aging british rockstar, who walks like he just shit himself, and his wife and two kids. So the father gets up and he starts to juggle. Except this guy's had more silent strokes than a 13 year old on a camping trip with his parents, so of course he can't catch anything, he's just firing shit up in the air and huddling while they fall around him with this shocked befuddled look in his eyes.
then he says something to the wife, but he's completely fucking incomprehensible and so is she. So he grabs the wife and he starts fucking her. He fucks her in the cunt, fucks her in the ass, between her tits, fucks her in the ear, at one point she flexes her arm and holds it there, and he starts fucking the old-lady-arm-skin pussy. While he's doing that the son joins in, whips it out and starts fucking Ozzy in the ass, only he's a teenager so he pretty much cums right away, right up Ozzy's ass. Ozzy says something in what sounds like Esparanto, then the daughter gets up on stage and sucks the cum out of his ass with a straw and spits it into a petrie dish. Right the mother starts to have her period, she she squats over the dish and shits an ovary into it. The daughter mixes up the dish, fertilizing the egg, then the father starts fucking the petrie dish fetus. Then the mother and the son get behind him, son lays down and the mother squats on his face and starts giving the father a rusty trombone... -
...and the end is neigh.
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The Ozzy Osbourne Dancers...The Ozzettes. I'm your host Todd Newton, and now, heeeeeeere's OZZY!!
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What you're saying is that they're going to call the show the Aristocrates?
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At first it was kinda funny when Ozzy started to pimp out his drug addled self to be exploited on tv. Then it quickly got sad. Now its beyond sad, its almost an atrocity. Someone, please slip a mickey into his next drug cocktail that no doubt keeps him alive at this point? I think its time that Ozzy left this mortal coil; preferably by Viking funeral while snorting up crazy lines on his crazy train (and by crazy train he mean cocaine. Lots of it).
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now THAT's how to fucking do it. 2 hours, flat out, all the band going for it.
stop fucking about ozzy and get back to doing something on stage. and leave that cunt of a wife at home. -
At least she waited until her husband was dead to cash in. Poor Ozzy. Whatcha wanna be Sharon has his power-of-attorney?
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This would make Ozzy's transformation from Lord of The Metal Underworld to Tacky Entertainer on the Jo Anne Worley level!
What's next Ozzy & Soupy Sales together on the $200,000 Pyramid? -
3am North Bergen NJ. Listening to Ozzy Osbourne's Blizzard of Oz with my older brother. Hey in the future Ozzy is gonna have a variety show TV show with his family...*pause* Are you high? Yes! Bahahahaha!!! That was a good one.
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that was a sweet fucking Aristocrats setup and only one person noticed it and no one finished the joke? Where's Sagat when you need him. Oh, that's right, he's doing heroin with a black hooker named Mahogany who has halloween masks of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen taped to her face and ass, respectively.
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Who wants to see a Banshee and a Zombie do a variety show?
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Every new thread seems to have trailers except this one? Ozzy weirdness is always needed.
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You can only take a marionette rigging so far...
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if you think jack is hot then go for it.
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