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Chicago!! Capone Tells You How To Catch HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY!!

Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here. Hope you all have big plans to relax this upcoming holiday weekend. That's right, take it easy, rest up; you'll need your strength, especially if you're a Chicago-area fan of HELLBOY. Thanks to the good folks at Universal and our good buddy Guillermo Del Toro, we've got the exclusive Ain't It Cool News Chicago screening of HELLBOY 2: THE GOLDEN ARMY on the evening of Wednesday, July 9. We've got more than 200 seats to fill, so your chances of winning are probably decent, I'm guessing. Without giving anything away, I know that Harry has something really special planned for the Austin AICN screening of this film, and I’m jealous beyond words. That being said, you Chicago-area folks get to see freakin' HELLBOY 2 early! Did I mention that? We've all had different selection this summer about what films we've REALLY been waiting to see. And as much as IRON MAN, DARK KNIGHT, THE INCREDIBLE HULK, WALL-E, and many others have been high on my anticipatory list, HELLBOY 2 tops it. This is the one I've been holding my breath for since May. Oh baby. Each winner can bring one guest. Here's what you need to do to win. Stray one iota from this, and your entry gets tossed onto a pit of hellfire embers.

Send me an email at: with the subject line: WHAT THE HELLBOY?! I want your full name and the full name of your guest. If you don't know who you're bringing yet, at least let me know that you are bringing someone so I can put you down as a "Plus 1." In the body of the email, in 100 words or less, answer the following question: "In what way(s) is Guillermo Del Toro a Demigod?" That's right! I asked it! This is the man who has brought us so much wonder and terror over the years, so I'm not above sucked up a little bit. My mission here is to pack the theater with Del Toro disciples, who will watch HELLBOY 2 with the proper reverence and enthusiasm that it deserves. I want this to be a religious revival, complete with speaking in tongues, bleeding from the eyes, the whole deal.

The deadline for the contest is Saturday, July 5. I'll post the winners on the site Monday or Tuesday of next week. Good luck, everyone.


Readers Talkback
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  • July 2, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST


    by Sailor Rip

  • July 2, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    To tell you the truth, I'm not that excited about HB2, either

    by moondoggy2u

    Even though I'm sure it will be an interesting film, for some reason, I'm just not that hyped up for it. Maybe its because of The Dark Knight or, more likely, its because of the comic book overkill this summer, but for whatever reason, I'm kinda seconding Sailor's Meh.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    let me break the 'meh' trend then...

    by just pillow talk

    I'm quite looking forward to this, and since I've only seen Iron Man thus far, no comic book overload for me. (not that it would make a difference with me anyways)

  • July 2, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    When I saw Iron Man

    by moondoggy2u

    I had to sit through previews for Hulk, Spirit, Hancock, Hellboy, and The Dark Knight. That ten-minute experience alone really killed most of my summer excitement. Yeah, I'm still enthusiastic about Dark Knight, but frankly, these movies have really ceased to be an event for me; there are just too many of them out there.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Hellboy 1 was alright...

    by Sailor Rip

    ...Hellboy 2 looks decent but really nothing to get excited about. This site has a huge hard on gor Del toro so all the hype really does nothing for me.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    he can create imaginative demons and fanboys out of thin air

    by Dawhiteguy

    Im going to miss it... By the way capone you are defnately my favorite topic starter on this site. Now the real debate. Should i take a road trip to see guillermo del toro in Austin?

  • July 2, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    I'm there.

    by RawShark13

    Del Toro is lord.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    because we've deified him.

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    along with Nolan and a few others.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    but HBII does look bad ass.

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    no argument there.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    No matter how much I try


    I just cannot begin to care in the slightest about Hellboy 2. I have no idea why either, I like superhero movies, I like action movies, I like movies that have a different style.....I really hope I like this when I eventually get to see it.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:28 a.m. CST

    They're obviously partnered with the movie

    by steve2292

    I sent in a negative review from the premier, the movie just wasn't very good, and they haven't posted it... Maybe they'll post some more commercials for the movie...

  • July 2, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST


    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    maybe your review sucked.<p>just sayin'.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    paste your review here steve

    by just pillow talk

    Did you like the first Hellboy?

  • July 2, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST


    by Sailor Rip

    Yeah, you'll never hear anything negative about a del toro or Robert Rodriguez project on this site. This really should be a big deal. Remember all the positive Forgetting Sarah Marshall reviews? What a load of shit man.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    del toro is demigod. Seriouisly this dude taps into

    by CrichtonAstronut

    the collective unconcisous and brings out some different shit. I'm defintely stoked to see this. Loved the first one Rn Perlman was fantastic as was Selma Bair and the rest. Brilliant visuals and this looks ecen better. Pan's Labrynth was something special too. Can't wait for this. Brilliant News and Congrats to Del Toro for the Saturn Award. Loved the speech.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Well, I will *NOT* be pig-fucked.

    by xevoid

    Pig fuckery is not for me, neither as the pig-fucker, nor the pig-fuckee. No pig-fuckery on this site, please. Goat-fuckery, hippo-fuckery, or gerbil-fuckery. None of that. Nevertheless, this is cool news.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    pig human sex...

    by darf13 physically impossible so this isnt funny at all. Find something else or stfu please. Everything on this site is cool news.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST

    My review

    by steve2292

    I’ve been debating whether or not to send this review in. As I did have an opportunity to go to the premier and meet some of the cast who were all gracious and welcoming, it just doesn’t seem right to throw a negative spin on the movie. I have read the positive review of the movie posted earlier this week and many of the aspects of the movie pointed out as positives I do agree with. The problem is the many negatives that were ignored. First and foremost, the 2nd movie made me look at the 1st differently. It made me realize something substantial, John Hurt was an extremely integral part of the movie and that once he was killed, the movie simply wasn’t as good. The Father Son dynamic was one of the most interesting parts of the first film with the exchanges and interaction between Pearlman and Hurt being spot on. The 2nd movie attempts to recreate this, albeit briefly, with an opening scene that flashes back to a young Hellboy with his father on Christmas Eve. The flashback is meant as a foreshadow to the balance of the film and it serves its purpose. This movie certainly missed that interaction and dynamic overall. As the previous review pointed out, the action sequences and alternative world scenes are stunning. They are vintage del Toro. Pearlman is spot on and Jeffrey Tambor has his moments. I couldn’t quite get my arms around what Tambor was being used for, in the first movie he was the comic heavy, in this one he is mostly quirky comic relief, but for the most part it works. He plays off of Macfralane’s Dr. Kraus well. He’s there to be a government tool and no one plays a tool better than Tambor. I will say that I missed David Hyde Pierce as the voice of Abe, his tone fit perfectly. Though the Myers character in the first movie was mainly a tool for a love triangle, I did find it interesting that he was dismissed with one line in the 2nd movie. He was apparently sent off by Hellboy to the Arctic. I found this odd as he had been hand picked by his Father and I think that the history with Liz (Selma Blair) and the other two men may have been an interesting carry over. This brings me to Selma Blair. She is significantly under/misused in this movie. Giving away a major spoiler (she has 2 tails in the oven) the majority of her interaction is either to get mad at Hellboy for being Juvenile or wait out in the van during action sequences and look worried about the pregnancy. The movie is called “The Golden Army” and that is the main plot, but the subplot is the outing of Hellboy and the team and the public reaction to them. I can see where del Toro was going with this, almost an X-Men type angle, but it simply was not executed very well. One scene in particular sticks out where Hellboy is fighting a monster while attempting to protect a baby whom he had just rescued out of a car prior to it being demolished. Throughout the whole scene he is going out of his way to protect the baby, at the end he tries to hand the baby back to its mother only to have police draw guns on him and attempt to arrest him. It really didn’t make much sense to me. Naturally you would expect public curiosity and fear, but after saving an entire city block and protecting a baby in the process, the reaction was a little extreme. The public seemed to turn on a dime, really without any reason and contrary to the initial reaction when the team is revealed. Then there’s the Golden Army plot line. Though the sequences are dramatic and visually appealing, there are serious problems with this as well. Without getting too deep into it, the plot is similar to a Lord of the Rings type of deal. A mythical race of elves battle humans and end up creating the Golden Army which slaughters many. Filled with guilt, the King decides to stop the Golden Army, break the crown which gave him the power to control it, keep 2 pieces himself and give one to the humans. One crown to rule them all type of deal… The elves are to live unseen in the forests and the humans can have everything else. Eventually the King’s son (The Prince) gets fed up with hiding and what humanity is doing to his beloved forests and decides to put the crown back together. A public confrontation with his father the King reveals that it is in the human’s nature to destroy and it is in the elves nature to tolerate (with a hint that it is because they have the moral high ground). It seemed like a stab at environmentalism to me, but it wasn’t overly done. At this point (spoilers) the Prince proclaims himself and the elves better than the humans and his Father who agrees have a problem. The Father want the crown kept separate and the Prince wants it back together. These tolerant Elves who are superior to humans then do something that made me go cross-eyed in the theater. The Father orders his son put to death. The prince fights off the guard and kills his Father. Go figure… The Princess, the twin of the Prince, who shows the same scars as he does and is linked physically to him so that any damage done to him hurts her and vice versa (wanna take a stab at the ending), then runs away with the final piece and ends up with Hellboy’s team. She and Abe have a romantic interaction which leads to an interesting chemistry between elf and whatever the hell Abe is. There was a scene which hopefully will be shortened a bit where Abe and Hellboy get drunk and sing along to “I Can’t Smile Without You.” It’s a great idea, but even at the premier it didn’t get the laugh it should’ve. The outcome of the movie is predictable; the plot is loosely held together and has numerous flaws. Overall, it’s worth seeing for the visuals, Pearlman, a fight scene between Hellboy and a wall of lockers which he looses, and del Toro doing his thing, but there is a reason Red is showing up on American Gladiators. They’re going to need a big opening weekend.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST


    by Sailor Rip

    The review certainly didn't "suck" as one poster put it. I suspect the only problem Ain't it Cool had with it is it wasn't positive and therefor was not posted.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST


    by moondoggy2u

    Aside from some gramatical errors and an opening paragraph that could have used a bit of work, your review read better than some of the stuff Harry cranks out.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST


    by Mr.Meanie

    thanks for the review! I wouldn't mind seeing some more unbiased reviews around here...

  • July 2, 2008, 12:25 p.m. CST

    The Review

    by steve2292

    Thanks for the feeback, I typed it in about 5 minutes and other than spell check didn't really spend much time on it. That's the best you get for free.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    Steve--maybe it was the spoilers or something?

    by moondoggy2u

    If so, we'll know when you get banned ;)

  • July 2, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    thanks steve2292

    by just pillow talk

    And I can definitely see where Hurt's presence could be missed if the gap is not filled in by someone or something else. So how did you rate the first Hellboy? I'll tell you where I'm coming from, never read the comic, and the more times I watch the first one, the more I like it.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    So moon

    by steve2292

    How do you stay so positive all the time?

  • July 2, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST


    by steve2292

    I totally agree with you, I've actually bought it recently on bluray. I really enjoyed the first one, never read the comics, and have grown to like it more. There was just an element of chemistry missing in the 2nd. The only thing I could pinpoint was that Hurt wasn't around and, after rewatching the first again, I truly believe that is the problem.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:39 p.m. CST

    I'd be curious to see if the second one improves

    by just pillow talk

    on a second viewing for you steve like the first one. That's of course assuming you would check it out again.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Difference Being

    by steve2292

    I liked the 1st one right away.

  • July 2, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    It takes a lot of practice, Steve

    by moondoggy2u

    Seriously, though, nice review; it should have been posted.

  • July 2, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST


    by tony89

    Does anybody know if anybody from the movie going to be there for the july 8 Screening at amc river east?

  • July 2, 2008, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Thanks Moon

    by steve2292

    I went back and read a review "Moriarty" wrote and his is much more readable. I just don't remotely agree with what he says. I think he is trying to elevate the movie beyond what even del Toro would have envisioned. The villain isn't justified and noble, he kills his own Father... and so on.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Who cares!

    by darthvedder81

    Other than a few select comic book uber-nerds and some bored teenagers no one will go see this.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    well, you're writing isn't as good as Mori's

    by moondoggy2u

    However, were it posted amongst other reviews authored by pre-screen participants, your review would be just fine.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:56 p.m. CST

    Hellboy 2 sucked, I saw it the other day

    by i kick tits

    I was pretty excited for this since Pans Labyrinth was awesome and the trailer looked pretty cool. But I saw a screening the other day, I was really let down. Apart from the visuals, everything about this movie is cliche and hackneyed. I still can not believe this crap came from the same director of Pan's Labyrinth. I didn't get to see the first one, but after seeing the sequel, I am very glad I didn't waste my time. I know the reviews on this site are all glowing, but don't say I didnt warn you.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:54 p.m. CST

    I Kick...

    by steve2292

    That's why they didn't post my review... See above...

  • July 3, 2008, 1:11 p.m. CST


    by rutgerman

    I CANNOT wait to see this. AND I'm in Chicago! Sweet. <br><br>Oh, and thanks Prettybaby. I will run to that site RIGHT AWAY!