Ain't It Cool News (www.aintitcool.com)
Movie News

Moriarty Calls July 2008 The Month Comic Book Movies Come Of Age! THE DARK KNIGHT And HELLBOY II Reviewed!

Hey, everyone. “Moriarty” here. The only way to truly discuss these films and why they matter is by getting into the marrow of them, the real thematic meat. That means spoilers, but I want to offer you some non-spoiler thoughts before that, so you can get the overview if that’s all you want. And make no mistake... these films matter. If you’re a fan of film... not just comic-book movies, and not just nerd genre movies, but film of any kind... then you owe it to yourself to see both THE DARK KNIGHT and HELLBOY 2: THE GOLDEN ARMY in the theater, on the best screen you can find. These are big theatrical films, huge in scale, obviously high-tech in terms of film craft, but they’re more than that... ... these films are art. Real art. Undeniable art. Adult films about adult ideas. Richly imagined, beautifully acted by some tremendous ensembles, these are both films that represent the very best of what can happen when the right filmmaker gets hold of the right source material and then makes all the right choices. I think it’s a shame that people have leapt right to merciless hyperbole in describing the merits of these movies, because it’s going to set audiences up with some unrealistic expectations. I’m reading that DARK KNIGHT is either THE GODFATHER PART II or THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, and I’m hearing that HELLBOY II is as great as the original STAR WARS. Huge claims. Pretty much the pinnacle of hyperbole. You say things like that to someone, they’re going to walk into a theater with a chip on their shoulder, needing the film to do more than entertain or provoke. They’re expecting life-altering events at that point. These are not life-altering events, of course. But they may be genre-altering events. When I wrote my reviews of WANTED and HANCOCK at the start of the weekend, I said that the films disappointed me because I felt like they aimed so low. They just didn’t feel like cohesive movies... instead, they were collections of decent ideas with nothing to hold them together. With both THE DARK KNIGHT and HELLBOY II, you can tell that the filmmakers are aiming high. They respect the audience and they respect the characters they’re writing, the worlds they’re creating, the moral landscapes they are dealing with. It’s almost disconcerting how little they bow to the conventions of the genre so far with these films. It took me a while to settle into the rhythms of THE DARK KNIGHT because it wasn’t anything I expected it to be. Even having seen the prologue on the bigscreen once before, I didn’t get what tone Nolan was going to hit with this film, and as the film’s first act played out, I realized just how far he was willing to go, and it left me nervous, off-balance, exactly the way a film featuring the Joker should. For the first time ever, I felt like anything could happen whenever he would shamble onscreen, looking like something that just crawled out of a wet grave. I’ve always felt that when the Joker makes a joke, he should be the only one who laughs while everyone else is busy cowering in fear or throwing up. Well, looks like Chris and Jonah Nolan feel the same way, because this is a vile tornado of suffering that sweeps through Gotham, a destructive force in clown makeup, his facial scars a mere hint of just how twisted he is inside. He’s not a villain like we normally see in these movies, and he’s not even the Joker we normally see in Batman stories. He’s the film’s grand metaphor, given voice by an actor who vanishes into the role, and he’s only one of the many merits of THE DARK KNIGHT. HELLBOY II is a great example of what happens when someone is allowed to make a sequel to their own film, but with a greater support system and more creative freedom. The first HELLBOY is a film I liked quite a bit, but on repeat viewings, its faults are fairly obvious. The main one is Meyers. No matter how well-played he was, he was a studio note with feet. You can practically hear the execs saying, “Well, everyone’s just so weird. You have to have a normal guy as your main character, and let all the freaks just be the supporting cast. That way, people won’t get creeped out.” Uhhhh... no. This time, the freaks carry the film, and you get the distinct feeling that’s the way it was always meant to be. The result is a film with twice the heart of the already-substantially-heartfelt original, twice the scale, and much more personal stakes for everyone. I think one of the reasons I’m so smitten with these films is because it’s next to impossible to make a “personal” film on the scale of these movies. You’re talking about an $85 million film for HELLBOY 2, and about $100 million more than that for THE DARK KNIGHT. These are gigantic investments for the releasing companies, and it would not surprise me in the least to see them diluted or dumbed-down. That’s just the nature of this industry, and we’ve come to expect it. So when you see films that truly seem to represent someone’s personal take on such gigantic archetypes, it’s bracing. It’s not just entertainment for a few hours in a theater... it’s an affirmation that there is room for greatness in this business, and sometimes, it’s allowed to happen, or even encouraged to flourish. With THE DARK KNIGHT, for example, Chris Nolan accomplishes something that both WAR OF THE WORLDS and CLOVERFIELD tried to do, and with more grace and insight. Those films both used 9/11 imagery to resonate with viewers, and in both cases, the imagery is certainly arresting and upsetting, but to what end? Just to remind us? Just to tap into the fear we felt that day? Here, Nolan invokes 9/11, but he pushes past it to also deal with the fear that has stayed with us as a culture since that moment, and also the way it forced the world around us to change. This is the first mainstream movie to fully digest the events of September 11th and to deal with them in a way that starts to sort out who we are now as a result. Heady stuff for a movie about a dude wearing a bat suit who beats the shit out of criminals, but then... isn’t that the point? I’m not sure why you guys like superhero stories, and I’m not sure what you require when watching one to say that it’s successful. For me, the notion of superpowered people beating each other up isn’t the appeal. It’s simply a way of getting to other ideas. The Greeks used gods as their storytelling archetypes, while we use superheroes instead. It's understandable, since superhero stories allow us to explore shades of gray using characters who are either all good or all bad. When you set up polar extremes like that and then you put them into moral positions where there are no easy answers, it’s a great way to deal with provocative or challenging material in a way that’s more palatable for many audiences. They may not even realize that you’re tackling the subtext... they just absorb the surface level, and everything else works on them in more subtle ways. The script the Nolans wrote (based on a story they worked out with David Goyer, who told me today “I can’t believe my name is on a movie this good”) uses the last scene of BATMAN BEGINS as a jumping-off point. This movie’s entire thematic subtext was established in that last great moment on the rooftop when Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman) handed the playing card to Batman (Christian Bale) and talked to him about the notion of escalation. Here, every scene plays to that idea, and it’s obvious that the Nolans believe that a world of people living by the credo of “an eye for an eye” will quickly go blind. No one escapes this movie without fresh scars. No one gets out without losing something dear to them. If Warner Bros. wanted to title this like the first film, they could have called it BATMAN FAILS, because no matter what he does in this film, he finds himself unable to stem the overflow of shit that threatens his city. He can’t fly around the world to turn back time when something goes wrong. He can’t erase memories or do magic or just magically reset everything and try again. Each time things get worse, all he can do is adjust and try to move on from there, until it finally reaches a point where he isn’t sure there’s any way to adjust anymore. What do you do when every good effort has failed and every good man has been cut down? When chaos and darkness overwhelm you, and even a clear-cut hero can be corrupted, is there any point in even continuing the fight? I’m not sure kids under 14 or 15 should see this film. For one thing, they won’t understand a lot of it. I don’t think moral ambiguity is one of the things kids look for in their movies. For another thing, the parts they do understand will probably scare the shit out of them. This movie pushed the PG-13 to the breaking point, and I’m not sure how Warner Bros. pulled it off. Harvey Dent’s face post-accident should have pushed them out of the PG-13 all by itself, but it’s saying something when that graphic image is actually one of the least upsetting things in the film. For anyone else, though, I recommend it highly. The action sequences are inventive and grand-scaled, but the character scenes and the quiet headgames are even more engrossing. The score by James Newton Howard and Hans Zimmer is one of the year’s best, with the Joker’s themes coming across like razors being dragged across harpsichord strings. Wally Pfister’s photography is, as expected, stunning, and in particular, his work in IMAX is revelatory. Oh, yeah... the IMAX. Have I said “Holy shit!” yet? Because if not... holy shit. I’m sure you’ve read that Nolan decided to shoot six major sequences in the film in IMAX. This is the first time a major studio narrative film has lensed sequences in the format. The cameras are a nightmare to move, they hold only three minutes of film, and they’re so noisy it makes it almost impossible to record dialogue live. Even so, I’ll bet we see Nolan work in the format again, because the results are so immersive and startling that they’re worth whatever headaches are involved. The way it works is the IMAX sequences are all projected full frame, so they fill the entire eight-story screen at a ratio of 1.44:1. When the IMAX sequences end, the movie pops into a 2.40:1 letterboxed ratio that’s still pretty damn gigantic. And for regular theaters showing the film, you’ll see everything at 2.40:1, although I’m willing to bet you notice a marked visual difference for certain scenes. It’s not just the size of an IMAX frame... it’s the clarity. It’s the way you get lost in it and no matter where you work, there’s some detail you can notice that might otherwise be lost. It’s the way each motion of the camera pulls you in and makes you feel like you’re moving with it. But more than anything, it’s the way the faces of the actors tower over you, the operatic emotion of this piece cranked up even further by the sheer scale of things. When you look into someone’s eyes, you get a sense of who they are. And in IMAX? It’s like you can see right inside them, which only makes Ledger’s work more disturbing. Aaron Eckhart deserves some praise as well for the way he brings Harvey Dent to life, and for finding a way to play earnest without becoming overbearing. Dent’s a more difficult role than the Joker in many ways because there aren’t as many big emotions you can play. He’s a decent, upstanding man who believes in doing things right, in prosecuting criminals instead of fighting them on a street level, and little by little, he’s actually making a difference. Eckhart gives the guy an inner life, just enough quirk to make him seem human, so that when the inevitable tragedy (which really is awful as laid out in the film) occurs, it’s not a simple on-off cartoonish lurch into violence for Dent. We feel it. We believe it. Dent’s physical trauma may be exaggerated, but the emotional side of it is pitch-perfect. And his work as Two-Face is just sad and angry. He’s nothing like the Joker. Hell, I’m not even sure I’d call him a villain. That’s one of the things I love about HELLBOY II as well. Prince Nuada (Luke Goss) is a great movie bad guy because he is absolutely justified in his rage. His reason for doing everything he does is not only understandable, but actually makes real sense. The points he makes are heartbreaking and sad, and I think he speaks directly for Guillermo in places. When he declares war on humanity, it’s not some hollow grab for power, or some desire to rule that spins out of control. Instead, it is a rational response to the genocide of not only his race, but every single magical creature on the planet. It’s a war on the “proud empty” things who are willing to pave over every inch of nature, erasing wonder and horror in favor of parking lots and shopping malls. He’s outraged at the idea of going gently into that good night, and he lashes out. Even when his methods are questionable, I never disliked him. I love it when the “villain” of a film is presented with real empathy, because it puts the viewer in the position of having to think for themselves. Is this a bad guy? Who do you want to see win at the end? Why? Even in serious non-genre drama, antagonists are often given simplistic motives so that the audience knows exactly what they’re supposed to think. Studios will force you to write and rewrite until you’ve cast everything in simple blacks or whites, so HELLBOY II amazes me in the way it manages to keep things so very gray. At least morally speaking. Visually, HELLBOY II is a feast, one of the summer’s richest and most engrossing experiences. After PAN’S LABYRINTH, it’s like some floodgates deep inside Guillermo opened up, and the result is this deluge of imagination, an amazing array of sights and sounds that weren’t just created to dazzle you. These days, we are almost immune to wonder because of the sheer volume of special effects we are bombarded with every year, but HELLBOY II cuts through that because of the specificity of the world we’re being shown. I think Guillermo really does believe in this world of magic and monsters, these tooth fairies and kitten-eating trolls, these tumor-babies and clockwork soldiers. More than that, I think he prefers this world. By the end of this film, he’s sent a very clear message about who he feels is right and who is wrong, and I think the side he chooses will shock many mainstream viewers, even as it sets the stage for what could be an epic and unusual third chapter in the series. Both films manage the difficult trick of not only creating a larger world than either BATMAN BEGINS or HELLBOY, but also refining all the things that worked while whittling away the things that don’t. Sequels are a bitch, a necessary evil for this industry, and a skill set that seems to elude many filmmakers completely. Most sequels just tread water, rehashing the original without adding to our understanding of the characters or introducing any new ideas or themes. In HELLBOY II, the removal of Meyers means we now have Hellboy (Ron Perlman), Liz (Selma Blair) and Abe Sapien (Doug Jones) as the center of the film, and each of them benefits from the way the focus has shifted. Hellboy and Liz make a really touching, interesting couple this time out, and both of them seem stronger, more fully realized. With Doug Jones finally getting the chance to play Abe physically and vocally, the performance congeals into something memorable. He is the heart of the film, the biggest surprise for me. He gets a love story of his own this time, and as a result, there’s a scene in the middle of the film between Hellboy and Abe where the two of them bond over their broken hearts that is one of the best things I’ve seen in any film this year. It’s so human, so recognizable, so identifiable... and yet, we’re watching a giant red demon with a rock hand and a fish-man drunk on cheap Mexican beer, singing one of the cheesiest songs ever recorded. And it works. It works because they have become completely human by that point. The absurdity works for the film, not against it. Now, if you’re still reading and you don’t want to know any real spoilers, I think I’ve managed to avoid them so far. That’s about to change, so bail out if you need to, and I hope you come back to join the conversation in talkback after you see the movies. It’s been an interesting year for superhero films in general. Marvel has hit the ground running with their new business model, and the one-two punch of IRON MAN and THE INCREDIBLE HULK has laid some great groundwork for them to build a Marvel universe on film unlike anything anyone’s ever tried in movies like this. The tone of those films is fun, light, all about the broad strokes, and that’s fine. It’s very true to the tone of the classic Marvel titles in print. With WANTED and HANCOCK, we’re seeing studios take real chances on far less recognizable material, and even if I don’t love those movies, I admire the efforts. But THE DARK KNIGHT and HELLBOY II are something else entirely. I’ve heard some complaints about THE DARK KNIGHT and certain plot points or action scenes, but that doesn’t matter to me, and I’ll tell you why. The moral choices that are set up for characters in both films are so difficult, so unanswerable, that I find the provocation to be far more valuable than a debate over whether or not someone can shoot a car chase. In THE DARK KNIGHT, almost every character ends up faced with lesser-of-two-evils choices at some point in the film, which is exactly what the Joker hopes to accomplish. In some of the new commercials, you get a glimpse of the interrogation scene where Joker says to Batman, “When the chips are down, these civilized people will eat each other. You’ll see. I’ll show you.” That’s what the film is all about... when good people are put in terrible situations, and there’s no easy choice to make, what do they do? The first big example of this comes when Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal) are both kidnapped, and each of them is placed into a different warehouse, each wired to explode at a certain time. Batman’s told where they both are, and then given time to reach only one of them. And unlike every other superhero movie (like SPIDER-MAN, for example) where this sort of a choice is established, this time, there are fatal consequences, and it changes everything for Dent, for Batman, for Gotham itself. At the end of the film, an even larger example is set in motion when two ferries are used to transport people out of Gotham to avoid a threat from the Joker. Turns out, though, that both ferries are wired to blow up, and this time, the Joker puts the power of life or death into the hands of the people whose lives are on the line. Each ferry is given a detonator. On one ferry, the average people of Gotham are crammed together. On the other one, hundreds of prisoners are being evacuated as a group. They’re told that at midnight, the Joker will blow up both of the ferries unless one of them is willing to destroy the other. Whoever uses their detonator will be spared. And again, Nolan confounds expectations with the way he lets things unfold. One detail in particular really took me aback. On the prison barge, Tiny Lister shows up playing one of the prisoners. Now, you know Tiny Lister whether you realize it or not. He was the President of Earth in Luc Besson’s FIFTH ELEMENT. You may have seen him in FRIDAY. He’s pretty hard to forget, a towering broad-shouldered black guy with one eye permanently crossed and a menacing glower permanently etched on his face. When he steps forward and demands the detonator, I did exactly what Nolan wanted me to do: I judged Lister on his appearance. I looked at him, and I knew full well what he was going to do with the detonator. Nolan really milks the suspense, too, as Lister talks about the difference between someone strong enough to make the awful moral choice and someone who is too weak to do it. He takes the responsibility and the detonator out of the hands of the warden... ... and then throws the detonator out the window and returns to his friends so they can pray. It’s not a moment I would have ever expected to see in a summer blockbuster, but more than that, it’s a moment that made me realize that no matter how enlightened I like to think I am, I harbor prejudices like anyone else. I leapt to a conclusion I had no business making, and the reversal made me feel terribly guilty. In fact, the following night, I ran into Lister at the HELLBOY II premiere, and I told him about my reaction to the sequence. He was so moved that he ended up taking my phone, putting his number into it, and telling me to call him sometime so we could talk more. He didn’t know I was a reporter or a writer... he was just responding to my reaction, moved by the fact that his brief appearance had such a distinct impact on me. HELLBOY II has two moments where characters make awful, selfish, unreasonable choices, but they do it because they see no other way to save the people they love. So often in these films, superheroes make the selfless decision, putting the world ahead of themselves. Yet here, Liz Sherman is told by the Angel Of Death (Doug Jones again) that she must make a choice about saving the life of Hellboy, which will result in the eventual destruction of the entire planet. “What is your choice? The world? Or him?” She doesn’t hesitate. “Him.” It’s an unforgivable choice for a hero... but for a human being, it’s the only right choice. The other selfish decision is made by Abe Sapien, but again... I found myself nodding my head when he did it because I understood and, in his situation, I would have done the same thing. I’m not sure what audiences are going to make of those moments, or how profoundly they will feel them, but I was rocked when I realized what Guillermo got away with in this script. I’ve barely touched on all the things that make these films worth seeing. I could expound on just how pleasantly wrong I was when I overreacted to the casting of Seth MacFarlane as the voice of Johann Krauss, the new head of the BPRD. I am no fan of FAMILY GUY, so I sort of dreaded having to listen to him in this film. Turns out, he’s sort of brilliant here, and he makes a perfect foil for Hellboy. Krauss is an ectoplasmic being, made entirely of gas, and he spends most of the film in a suit that reminds me of the Big Daddys from BIOSHOCK, a sort of modified diver’s suit. Watching him actually fight with Hellboy is both deeply strange and hilariously satisfying. Or I could talk about how powerful it is when Hellboy finally learns what secret Liz spends most of the movie hiding from him. He sits back, eyes wide, and then uses the most peculiar phrasing to express his surprise. But in that phrasing, there’s an entire unspoken backstory about Hellboy’s relationship with his father, played in one flashback here by John Hurt again. Those three words just about flattened me, and it’s only because of the time we’ve spent with Hellboy by that point that they carry such weight. I could talk about the oddball beauty of the fight against the Forest God, or the spectacular Troll Market, overstuffed with fascinating creatures. I could rave about the Golden Army sequence at the end, the fight with Nuada that represents the very best action choreography that Guillermo’s shot so far. Or I could spend another 1000 words telling you how much better Spectral Motion’s make-up has gotten since the first film and how elegant and tactile their work is here. Or I could just laugh as I try to explain why the freeze-frame that finishes the film entertains me so very much. I find myself equally unsure just how to prioritize in talking about the things that keep replaying in my head since seeing DARK KNIGHT. I could talk about the opening sequence with the fake Batman wannabes and the Scarecrow and the dogs. I could talk about the Batpod and the ways its premiere is just part of a particularly brutal standoff. I could talk about how giddy I was when I realized who the “bad cop” was going to be in the interrogation scene. I could try to do justice to that crazy exposed rolling eye of Dent’s, the way the rage bubbles up out of him after he’s burned. I could describe the Joker’s stunning pencil trick to you, or I could try to sum up just what builds to the unspoken look between Bruce Wayne and Reese (Joshua Harto), a Wayne Industries accountant who figures out his secret. Best of all, I could try to untangle all the lies the Joker tells about his origin, obfuscating himself out of all human connection, one of my favorite choices they made with the character. Bottom line: these are films that are built to last. When someone says to me, “It’s just a comic book movie,” these are the films that make that statement pointless. Nothing has to be “just” a comic book movie or “just” a video game movie or “just” a remake or “just” a sequel. Every single time you set out to make a film, you have a chance to say something, a chance to genuinely affect your viewer. You don’t have to aim for “good enough.” Ambition is important, but HANCOCK proves that’s not enough. It’s ambition plus inspiration plus creative chemistry plus a little bit of dumb fucking luck that all come together to make movies like these. But the only reason they accomplish anything is because Christopher Nolan and Guillermo Del Toro and all the remarkable madmen they collaborated with in bringing them to the screen... they all dared to drop the word “just” from their vocabulary. They aimed for art. They aimed for pure enduring cinema. And, good god, we are richer for it.


Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • June 30, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Excellent post.

    by DrAndonuts

  • June 30, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Awesome.

    by Finding Forrestal

    I can't wait.

  • June 30, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    I can't wait

    by ZoeFan

    These 2 directors are MASTERS of their craft.

  • June 30, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Great reviews

    by hallmitchell

    I'm so glad the injustice that was T.L.JOnes' potrayal of Two Face has been rectified. 2008 has so far been a great year for film. This for me is close to matching 1994.

  • June 30, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    I GOT IMAX TIX FOR TDK

    by DURANGO66

    city walk Hollywood

  • June 30, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST

    great review

    by zapano

    the dark knight should be something special - this could be the one

  • June 30, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    I'm so psyched to see both of these

    by just pillow talk

    And I managed to skip all the spoilers to boot. I have seen enough of both of these, no need to see (or read) anymore than I need to.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Can't Wait

    by Migwit

  • June 30, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Drew - DARK KNIGHT fight scenes...

    by Mosquito March

    Are they shot/edited more clearly? Can you tell what's actually happening in this one? And the suite - is it less clunky than the one in the first film?

  • June 30, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    WHAT A REVIEW!!!

    by THE TRUE PINBACK

    Kudos to Moriarty for writing what is undeniably one of the best, most well-thought-out reviews ever posted-not only on this site, but ever! I cannot wait to see these two films!!!

  • June 30, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    suite, suit

    by Mosquito March

  • June 30, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    Wall-E

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    was amazing. between that and Iron Man i'm satisfied with my summer movies as of now. HBII and Bats are just icing on my cookie.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    Jesus, it took me about 30 miutes to read that...

    by Marxeffect

    but fuck me it was worth it! Nice reviews Mori! I do have one question though: Is Maggie G any good in this? I dont know... I just never thought she would fit into the "Batman Universe"

  • June 30, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Let's see...

    by quantize

    loved Hellboy, but Batman Begins was a monster snoozefest..Nolan remains iffy to me.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Great Review....CAN NOT WAIT

    by tile_mcgillus

    for either of these films. These year is so fucking awesome.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Question about IMAX

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Aren't IMAX movies limited to be around 2 hours? And from what I hear, TDK clocks in around 2:20 so that would be quite a bit of movie they're shaving off. It seems to me that would really hurt the movie.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    quality

    by NedNederlander

    It's eloquent, passionate reviews like that that remind me why i love this site. thanks Mori

  • June 30, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Dear M,

    by Gd00

    That was an AWESOME article. I enjoyed every single letter out of every word. Great writing, and thanks for sharing your thoughts. And by the powers, aren't the times ripes for movies of the likes of these. Bring them on!

  • June 30, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Bring it all on!

    by FILMFUNK

    My favourite comic book movie is Robocop because although not based on an actual strip it does everything right with no short cuts or censorship. It has an origins plot rooted in reality but embellished with future Tech and greedy bastard badguys. It has stuff you've never seen before in Robocop and Ed 209 but also More gore and quoteable lines than a dozen Arny films and it doesn't pander to anyone! it just is what it is and if it's too much for you then bitches leave. But most of all it's called fucking ROBO cop! like these new movies BAT man! HELL boy!<P>Shouldn't work but with the correct director and involvement of real talent it most certainly does!

  • June 30, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Moriarty

    by Diamond Mike Inferno

    I have to say that was one of the best reviews I have ever read anywhere. Thanks for writing it for us.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    HawaiianOrganDonor...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... not anymore. That was an early IMAX limitation, long since solved. The version you see at an IMAX venue is the absolute truest version of the film to what Chris Nolan intended.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Mori, how about some spoiler indication?

    by the_scream

    Like a big word that says "Spoilers" so people actually know where to stop reading. Shame because it's a good review and I would have liked to have read it all.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    You've managed to send my hype for TDK

    by The Guy Who Slept Through Everything.

    Through the fucking roof, believe me, it will not get ruined. I'd turn down sex with Scarlett Johnanson to see this this at the Midnihgt show.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    The_Scream

    by drew mcweeny

    I made sure to put a warning in before I offered up any significant spoilers. It's safe.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    oh please the month comic book movies came of age was in may wit

    by JeanLuc Dickhard

    hellboy im sure will be fun and under rated.... dark night im sure will be over rated, they had their chance the last movie sucked the second bale became batman... the last arc of the movie sucked dick ... and now with the unfourtunate death of an actor, people will be all over this movie's jock .... if the movie is good then good for them and i hope they continue their good luck .... but Iron Man is the movie that raised the bar and set the standard for comic book movie perffection ....

  • June 30, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    My choice wat not to read the Hellboy portions

    by Diagnostic

    Saved me some time.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Iron Man was just an appetizer...

    by Elemeno Pee

    I'm ready for a real meal now.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    I'll pass on HELLBOY II

    by BobParr

    I like Guillermo but I absolutely hated HELLBOY. A bunch of squid monsters??!!

  • June 30, 2008, 8:27 a.m. CST

    JeanLuc Dickhard

    by the_scream

    Ah, the lonely dissenting voice. How predictable & also very sad for you to be one of the few who just can't get excited about this film.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Outstanding review

    by mefrog

    I didn't read most of it, because I absolutley refuse to have anything spoiled for me for HELLBOY or Dark Knight (I've only seen one trailer for Dark Knight, I want everything to be fresh when I walk into my IMAX screening). But man, I could feel the passion through my computer. SHIT I'm pumped.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    damn this is going to be awesome

    by Gungan Slayer

  • June 30, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    One thing is for sure

    by Silverglade

    I love it when Mori writes reviews. Great work!!

  • June 30, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    Great job Drew

    by chrth

    Probably the best double-review since Neil Cumpston did The Passion of the Christ/Dawn(?) of the Dead in the same review.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Fantastic.

    by Nordling

    Excelent work, Mori.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    For those avoiding the article due to spoilers

    by chrth

    Mori tells you when the spoilers are coming

  • June 30, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    I've been waiting all weekend for Moriarty's Walle review.

    by greenstyle92

    I am dumbfounded that neither Harry nor Moriarty has weighed in with an official review of that film. I guess advanced screenings of Hellboy II and The Dark Knight got you sidetracked?

  • June 30, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    All of these gushing reviews lately

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Have me feeling a tad guilty for only having been out to the theater once this summer (for Indy 4 no less). If there was an IMAX close by that showed movies other than those of the nature kind, I would actually go see TDK but alas, I guess it'll be a November release for me.<p>It would be interesting to know if Nolan had to use some careful editing to obtain the PG-13 rating or if what is on the screen was as far as he was willing to go.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    GOD DAMN IT

    by dogstardude

    I really wish I hadn't read the spoilers for TDK. FUCK!

  • June 30, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    the_scream, dissenting voices.

    by greenstyle92

    AICN is just so hilarious to me. In talkbacker world, it is the in vogue thing to do to piss and shit on everything-and I do mean EVERYTHING-that comes down the pipe. But TDK was granted the "Holy Grail" status where in nobody can say shit about it without being labeled a hater or the dissenter. It's like some big game or something. in 2006, Pirates Dead Man's Chest was the one with Holy Grail status that was preserved while everything else was shit on. I'm just amazed how people are pinning hopes on one movie.<br> <br> I'm wary because I think it's definitely been proven and demonstrated that Batman Begins was a lesser take on Batman. So why am I supposed believe the Sequel is SOOOO much better?

  • June 30, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    great reviews

    by zom-bot.com

    written like a fan of cinema withan understanding and recognition and appreciation of the deeper human issues that normal hero movies are afraid to delve too deep into. you're so right about comic heros as the modern gods of myth.If they are not treated with that seriousness, they are cartoony and pointless. excellent write ups- in no way fan-boyish, i can present this to anyone and it will honestly get them interested in both movies regardless of their interest in comics.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Greenstyle...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... it'll be the next thing I post. Sorry, but I had to prioritize, and since we've run several WALL-E reviews from our major contributors, I figured these would be more urgent.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    FCKING GREAT REVIEW

    by Darth Valinorean

    I just printed out this review - this is what a review should be and this should be in college/school textbooks on how to write a fcking review. I did not read the entire thing (admittedly) for I don't want teh spoilers, but I have printed it so I can read it after I see the movies. GREAT JOB!

  • June 30, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Yeah, I piss and shit too, but I'll still be there opening night

    by greenstyle92

    like Will Smith in I am Legend. Batman is my field, my ground zero. I've spent most of my life loving the character and studying him and what makes it tick, writing High School and College papers on the character and elements of the fiction. So, I've got to see what Nolan has done this time. Even if I have a bad feeling about it. And I don't even really get up my ass about fidelity to the source either. My favorite Batman live action movie is Batman Returns, after all...

  • June 30, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Ah, okay Moriarty.

    by greenstyle92

    Sounds good. I really loved that movie but I couldn't get into any of the existing talkbacks. maybe I still won't, but I'd love to see another opinion on the film.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Greenstyle...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... before this, RETURNS was my favorite, too. Have you ever read my review of RETURNS from the '90s lists here on the site?

  • June 30, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    No Jagga, it is YOUR wang that has been revealed!

    by greenstyle92

    I safely ignore anyone who heaps too much praise on Batman Begins. These people obviously don't really understand the Batman character or why he's important. psh, Nolan sure don't. His hardline stance against using Robin is proof of that. Robin is DEEPLY IMPORTANT and CENTRAL to Batman and his universe. Anyone who thinks that Batman is better off without Robin SIMPLY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND BATMAN. It's as simple as that.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    Mori

    by bod33

  • June 30, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    I did not know that Moriarty.

    by greenstyle92

    Interesting, I shall have to look it up. But I did not expect that you liked it. I saw some of your comments about B89 and I know you didn't really like that one and I suppose I (unfairly) assumed that meant you didn't like Returns either. Okay, I gotta look it up. <br><br> Oh shit, have I really posted that many times in the last few minutes? sorry guys, got carried away, I'll bail now or I'll seriously become a troll.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    RudyRusso...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... don't you have a bridge you're supposed to be under, son?

  • June 30, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Moriarty

    by bod33

    Once again you have shown why you are the main man on this site and not Harry(no offense). Those reviews especially TDK were the 2 greatest reviews i have ever read. Thank you

  • June 30, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Greenstyle

    by Lost Jarv

    Fine, I don't understand Batman like you do, but I'd say at the moment that you're venturing into dangerous fanboy territory here.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    some people

    by zom-bot.com

    some people just want to watch the talkbacks burn. only they nor their comments are as clever or anarchic as the joker. you can disagree to like or not like something, but to come and post just to flame for responses..silly. why don't you go start a bar fight. oh yeah, because you are an out of shape loser that hates yourself even more than you seem to hate the world, or movies and comics that no one else really has that much of a problem with.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    Link to the BATMAN RETURNS review please

    by The Guy Who Slept Through Everything.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Now that's what I'm talking about!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Excellent reviews, Moriarty. (I even managed to avoid the spoilers!).<P>Funny thing - I wasn't expecting your TDK review to be mingled with your take on HELLBOY II. So, I kind of had to bob n' weave through your write-up to first follow your thoughts on TDK. No offense to HELLBOY II which I do plan to see. It's just personal cinematic priorities, man!<P>Thanks!

  • June 30, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Okay...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... it's under the 1992 recap in this article, as a "Runners-Up" for the year. http://tinyurl.com/4axwa4 I really dig that film.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Awesome reviews

    by skiprat1

    ...of both movies. Thanks, these are the types of reviews I can show my wife, who needs someone other than me to confirm that some superhero movies can be taken seriously (so she'll go with me to see them and not blow it off as not being a movie for grown-ups. Although I have no desire to grow up anyway).

  • June 30, 2008, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Okay, now I'm getting a little nervous.

    by Mosquito March

    Why won't anybody whose seen TDK comment on the clarity of the fight cinematography? That was one of the very few major issues with BEGINS. I really want to be able to see who's hitting who, this time.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    this town deserves...

    by doodah

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSS-QtsWRWA

  • June 30, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    fuck

    by Mosquito March

    "who's seen..."

  • June 30, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Mosquito March...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... I didn't comment on it because it's not really an action film. It's well-staged, in my opinion, but then again, I didn't hate the work Nolan did on the first one. I think he's got more control of it all this time, but he likes the brief quick bursts of chaos in the middle of all that carefully composed elegance, so maybe you won't like these fights much more than in the original.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    I cant wait to see The dark knight....

    by emeraldboy

    and I cant wait to see Hellboy 2.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Moriarty, YES!!!

    by greenstyle92

    I just read your Batman Returns review, (searched it out myself, but thanks for linking anyway.) Yes, you've picked up and articulated excellently all the great stuff about that movie! I've been trying to articulate to people for years how Penguin, Catwoman and to a lesser extent Max Shreck are all versions of Batman, but most people just look at me funny. THANK YOU! Now I have somewhere where I can point people too to give them an example of what I mean.<br> <br> Okay. Anyone who gets Batman Returns has a valid opinion on Batman. I'll go into TDK with an open mind. Still not apologizing for not caring for Begins all that much, but I'll choose to believe that TDK could be better.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    AAAAHHHHHGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!....

    by FlickaPoo

    ...summer movies have been nothing but shit for years and years. This summer we have to stay home with an brand new baby girl and we miss Wall-E, Hellboy, Dark Knight, Ironman....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

  • June 30, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv, sorry.

    by greenstyle92

    I know it's real annoying when Talkbackers try to flaunt their "credentials" in other's faces to try to make themselves look smarter. And that's what I was doing, and I'm sorry about that. Other people can have different opinions on Batman than I do. guess I was just taken about by being accused of not having an informed opinion or something. Sorry about that. I really became just as big an asshole as the ones I was complaining about. Sorry guys.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    So your trying to tell me

    by Series7

    That the truck flip in this film is going to blow the truck flips from Terminator 3, X-3 and Heroes out of the water that its so good? I don't know that crane truck flip in T3 was pretty sweet.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!...

    by FlickaPoo

    ....it still hurts.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Flickapoo.

    by greenstyle92

    My deepest condolences, (but congratulations on the baby, by the way!) But hey, that is why they invented the Home Theater, isn't it? And fall isn't that far away...

  • June 30, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    I always thought the final scene in BATMAN BEGINS...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...would form the crux of a sequel. It's such a brilliant moment; one that makes any of BB's shortcomings moot. I love the fact that it's Gordon who brings the idea of escalation to Batman's attention. You totally get the feeling that it's the one thing Wayne did not anticipate = his arrival as Batman would prompt the criminal underworld to push back in a big, big way.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Ok so

    by Series7

    are these Batmans based on the Frank Miller series of Batman comics? Like are they close at all, or totally different?

  • June 30, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    I wonder how canon that moment is going to be?

    by greenstyle92

    How much do they acknowledge the mention of Joker in the first one? hey, is the bank robbing scene actually supposed to be a depiction of the crime gordon describes at the end of the first one? I'll have to watch that movie again, (haven't watched Begins all the way through since, what, late 2006? I'll give it one more go-through to be prepped.)

  • June 30, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    greenstyle92....

    by FlickaPoo

    ...thanks. She's a terrible sleeper and even DVD's wake her up...been trying to watch The Orphanage for three weeks now. She's great though. Stupid movies. Sigh...

  • June 30, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Series7

    by greenstyle92

    There were things about Batman Begins that were very reminiscent of Year 1 and at times felt like an adaption of it. But then again, it was ultimately a different story with a fairly different take on the origin. Hmm. Okay. They are definitely drawing on Frank Miller, but not Frank Miller alone. Frank Miller is just one of the many Batman artists/writers they are pulling from to do the Nolan series. and in the end, these are Nolan Batman works, not Nolan adapting someone else's Batman works.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    3 comments

    by Animation

    1) Great Review. I am PSYCHED UP! 2) I disagree about the Joker. His humor should never be incomprehensible. Otherwise he is just a Killer Clown. You should never laugh at his jokes when you are being affected by them, but you should always have a guilty giggle when you are SAFE. He has to be both violent AND understandably funny, but horribly frightening, to be right. 3) I also dont really have the same reason for liking Superhero movies as you do, Mori. For me it isnt an excuse to tell a story, as in the gods were used to tell stories, etc. You SHOULD tell stories with any genre suited to it, but you dont need superheroes for that. It also isnt just to see superpowered people beat each other up. Boring. For me, it is about the ramifications of the powers on the person that has them, the people in their lives, and the world. If the Super Powers weren't in it, you might as well just make it any other genre. But of course, telling stories is good. That's my feeling anyway.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    TDK Fight scene

    by kafka07

    I've seen a fight scene from TDK and you can actually see everything that goes down this time. Batman doesn't hide so much in the shadows anymore. And even though it wasn't the most riveting fight scene I've ever seen in a movie, it was still pretty fucking cool.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Holy shit Moriarty

    by The Guy Who Slept Through Everything.

    I never knew many people who branched out and saw DOGFIGHT, what a great movie, glad to see it made your top 10 in 91 list. and Bravo on the BATMAN RETURNS review, Loved it and couldn't agree more, fuck Howard Stern for hating that movie when it came out.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    "a studio note with feet."

    by DocPazuzu

    PHILBRICK LIVES!

  • June 30, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Hey pigfucked guy...is this some sort of....

    by FlickaPoo

    ...performance art thing or something? Like when Andy Warhol only talked like a robot for a while?...or like those cats in New York who arrange for hundreds of people to ride the subway with no pants for one day? What was the name of the guy who shot and crucified himself?...I forget. Anyway, if it's art you might need to step up your game a bit...people have already done some pretty crazy stuff. Don't listen to people like me though...you should follow your bliss...

  • June 30, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    new suit

    by kafka07

    oh and Bats was wearing the new suit in the fight scene I mentioned, he definitely moves faster.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Animation-there are different ways to play the Joker.

    by greenstyle92

    Sometimes the Joker can be played more like a "clown," sometimes he can be played more like a "comedian." This article helps to illustrate the difference: http://tinyurl.com/3sg86v<br><br> In Batman: The Animated Series Joker was played more as a comedian. and, from the looks of things, he's played more like a clown in TDK. You seem to prefer the Comedian aspect, and Moriarty the clown aspect.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    I can't wait for EBERT's review

    by Foucault

    zomg

  • June 30, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    Pumped for TDK...

    by Atticus Finch

    couldn't give a shit about Hellboy. Maybe I'll have my friend download that one for me.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    phew.. what an edge-of-your-seat review!

    by ptooey

    i'm sold on both movies... spoiler or not it didn't matter.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Damn You Moriarty

    by Virtual Satyr

    18 days. How dare you hit me up with a review this good, one that makes my fingers and toes curl with anticipation. I'm not going to last. When Harry writes his review for TDK, I'm not reading it. Hell no. I'll go crazy.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Robin/GREAT review (so far) Moriarty

    by abcdefz7

    Frozone -- Robin's not in it per Nolan's preference. And I think Bale has noted that Robin would probably be about three years old in this timeframe, anyway. Moriarty -- thank you. I didn't wade into the spoilery section, but I really like the observations so far. I look forward to reading the whole review.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    greenstyle-- the only man in the world who understands Batman

    by The Octagoner

    I've been reading Batman since I was about three, and I make my living writing fiction, and I thought Batman Begins was an excellent portrayal of the character, and it's the ONLY BATMAN FILM THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT BATMAN. So when you say, "It's definitely been proven and demonstrated that BB was a lesser take" I have to ask: 'proven'? PROVEN? By whom? And how? Proven in your own mind? By you? How the fuck is something so subjective 'proven' anyway? It's also telling how you say that anyone who doesn't agree with your views (about, for instance, Robin) doesn't get the character of Batman at all. I'm going to offer this alternative: YOU don't get Batman at all. And what you want him to be isn't what Batman is. Burton's Batman films were utter garbage; nonsensical jibberish that doesn't understand narrative, without the slightest characterization, only, like so many Burton movies, an extravagant visual design. So you keep writing papers "on the character and elements of fiction"; it's clearly something you can do with one thumb up your ass. And if you think any of Burton's Batman films tell good stories, you clearly don't know jack-shit about "the elements of fiction".

  • June 30, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    frozone, yes i agree...

    by greenstyle92

    Robin automatically revs the "dangerously close to campy" engines up when he makes an appearance. so I can understand the hesitancy there. But he's deeply important in other ways. One of the key themes of Batman is fathers and sons, (granted, the is a key theme of the whole darn genre, but anyway,) and there's more you can do when you actually make Batman into a sort of father. And it does make Batman re-evaluate his mission in key ways. <br><br> so I don't know. I like Burton even though he didn't use Robin, but he was open to the possibility and I think he would have used him in a third one. But for Nolan to say, "nope, not doing it," rubs me the wrong way.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    batgirl is a baby

    by zom-bot.com

    if batgirl is a baby in BB, then robin (well shit- which ONE?) is either 3 or not born yet. there is no need for robin in nolan's trio because the early batman comics were robinless. hence BEGINS. but there was the kid in the narrows with fighting parents that batman gave a nightscope to, that rachel protected from zsasz(sp?) and that at the end the police said his parents were missing. THAT was your nolan robin, that's all we're going to get.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    Burton's take was more of a mythical thing

    by terry1978

    That's the difference, and it's not any better or worse than Nolan's. His Batman is like an urban legend, something you happen to catch a glimpse of walking down the street, and just like that, gone. There have been so many interpretations of Kane's character, each of them, even the Adam West version, is accurate in some manner.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Best. Reviews. Ever.

    by David Assholehoff

    Wow Mori, I'm stunned at your review(s). Heart-felt and honest. I feel I enjoyed your writing here almost as much as I will enjoy the movies. I am looking forward to Hancock, even though you dissed it. Looks awesome, hope it lives up to my eternal comic-collecting expectations.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    thanks mori

    by darthnoodle

    that was a beautifully written reivew. i wish i hadn't read the tiny lister spoiler, or the warehouse spoiler (although i already knew who died by process of elimination). it's about time this genre reached for telling contemporary stories, without being parables. i hope guillermo can fit hellboy 3 in his schedule, and nolan will definitely be back with batman 3. after those two are done, i fear we will be served far inferior products in each respective franchise. when is harry going to publish his wall-e review? i know he loved it, and he alluded to him actually writing a review. c'mon harry! i loved it. my 2nd most anticipated movie (after batman) and it left me feeling great...although i did have a strong desire to go to the gym afterwards.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Moriarty - Re: Fight scenes..

    by Mosquito March

    I have no problem with quick-burst fight scenes. In fact, I prefer them to protracted, unrealistic fight scenes. I prefer the OK Corral shootout in WYATT EARP to the ridiculous running-in-and-out-of-buildings Hollywood shit in every other Earp movie, and I think the skirmish between Qui-Gon and Darth Maul in the desert on Tattooine is more bad-ass than the big fight at the end of TPM. It's absolutely on-the-money to have a character like Batman be able to walk into a room and shut a bunch of thugs down in a quick, limited number of moves. If it took him five minutes to beat a guy, he'd be doing something wrong. BUT, there's no reason why Nolan shouldn't be able to pull back a little bit and actually let you see Batman doing what Batman does, every once in a while. If the fight choreographers are going out of their way to create a new style of fighting for these movies, and nobody can really see it, what's the point? I actually love BEGINS. I appreciate Nolan's approach to the characters and the genre, and I have a feeling TDK will more than live up to its predecessor. I'm just sick of seeing action scenes where you can't tell what's happening, especially in a case like Batman, where what he's doing is probably pretty damn cool. ***** Since I have your attention, how does the new suit hold up, compared to the suit in BEGINS? Is it less rubbery and constricting?

  • June 30, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Octagoner, sigh

    by greenstyle92

    I had already apologized for my behavior, but sorry once again. But hey, you are also rendering your opinion as the definitive one, so you are basically doing the same thing I did. have a good one.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Moriarty, a question about acting.

    by Kevin Holsinger

    A couple of months ago, I saw a clip on the Internet of the bank scene in Dark Knight, and found myself cringing at some of the line delivery ("he really is crazy", or something like that, was...I think...one of the bad lines).<BR><BR>And as much as I loved the first Dark Knight trailer, when I heard Joker say, "A little fight in you. I like that.", I felt like the same problem was trying to show its face(though Ledger was kicking so much ass in that trailer that he seemed to carry the line well).<BR><BR>Did YOU find any problems with hammy delivery in any of the dialogue, or am I just hearing things?<BR><BR>And just for the record, I fully expect to love this movie, but that bank scene had me asking, "How is this possible in a Nolan movie?"<BR><BR>Thanks for your time.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    kafka07

    by Mosquito March

    Thanks for your comments, man! My *only* problems with BEGINS were the suit and the fight cinematography.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    admittedly stupid things in BB and TDK

    by zom-bot.com

    there are a few moments that made me cringe- that could and should have been edited out, and prove that light humor does not work in nolan's batman.<P> 1) in BB, gordon's 'i gotta get me one of those'. also the whole driving the batmobile schtick, as well as 'can you drive stick?', and the black guy coming up and saying 'nice ride' or whatever.<P>1.5)the 'nice coat' stuff with the hobo. pointless. could have been a better way to show bruce being in touch with the poor. hell, he was trying to get rid of the coat because he thought he was going to be killed. so he could have gotten that bum killed! <P> 2) in BB- batman wantonly running over police cars. not all the gotham police are dirty and punishable by tank death. luckily no one was hurt but we got some more cringeworthy shit one-liners from every cop involved in the chase. <P>3)assumedly several ton batmobile on old tiled roofs of rickety buildings.yup. <P>4) from TDK- the children in the car who witness batman blowing shit up in the alley. maybe this goes along with moiriarty and others talking about -split decisions by characters that jeopardize others, but this shows that batman could have easily blown up those children in the car without ever knowing as he was trying to take a shortcut. more thoughtless vehicular violence on his part, which i could have seen coming since his batpod had guns on it. i guess cardboard boxes and empty barrels just explode when hit by bullets too? i also though gotham had a poverty problem. no hobos sleeping in those alleys batman blew apart?<P>and this are blatant stupidities by a guy who like this version, so....

  • June 30, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    I'm going to go out on a limb here and brace...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...myself for a thrashing. I agree with the statement above that the father/son element is important to the Batman/Robin relationship. But Robin in so very Ambiguously Gay Duo that I really prefer the Batman Beyond setup...an old cranky and scarred Bruce with the hotshot young apprentice actually taking his place...OK, whack away...I'm ready.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Great little Lister anecdote, Mori

    by Mullah Omar

    Other than the idea that these films were good, that's probably the other main detail I'll take from this article. Stars get plenty of attention, but I'm always impressed by the character actors who do good work and who also genuinely care about giving quality, memorable performances.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Jesus, those are two fantastic reviews

    by Charlie Murphy

    I have no doubt that both of these films will kick ass. It's a shame Universal is releasing Hellboy so close to Batman, though, because it's going to get massacred.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Loved Batman Beyond

    by greenstyle92

    And there are ways around the "Ambiguously Gay duo" elements too.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    Hellboy II = Original "Star Wars"

    by darthvedder81

    Uh no. The first Hellboy made like 11 dollars at the box office. This will do the same. Other than uber-dorks nobody gives a rat's ass about "Hellboy."

  • June 30, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    MORI, you got soul for days

    by g-ride9000

    Thanks, I don't always agree with you but I ALWAYS AGREE with your passion. I bet you're great with the ladies.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST

    I've been trying to remain calm about these movies

    by Series7

    Well because I have to work, and if I think about them I want to look up stuff about them. Luckily Wall-E came through in a big way, hopefully these 2 can deliever. All this talk about 9-11 and superheros and stuff, its funny when we live in a world where a majority of people are giant pussy's in life. Think of everyone you know and try to think of a time any of them ever took a big chance or risk? The world plays it way to safe, and thats mainly because of the government. I saw Jesse Ventura on Leno the other week and he was talking about how there should be a box on the ballot in November saying, None of the above. Talking about how we need to get rid of the two party system and what not, he had some decent ideas, its too bad he probably doesn't get taken seriously, or someone whos a lot smarter then him fleshes out his ideas. Every since 9-11 we've created a country of pussy's too afraid to do anything these days. Maybe I am just getting older and realizing that true lack of freedom you have, or just getting bogged down in real world life. Whatever way off topic. Hopefully these movies rule. Sounds like award season movies are going to have a lot to live up to this year, hopefully it'll turn out better then last year.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    Two-Face question

    by ActuallyRobin

    Moriarty, Love the review, glad you liked the film. I cannot wait to see it. I have a question. Does Two-Face die, if so, is there a funeral/body? Many thanks, keep up the good work!

  • June 30, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    Batman Returns was TERRIBLE!

    by batzilla

    HOLY SHIT! I cannot BELIEVE any Batman fan could like that piece of shit movie! Seriously, it looked like it was shot on a high school auditorium stage for Gods sake! The whole movie was stupid. Catwomans transformation was embarrassing. The Penguin was ridiculous. The whole Max Shrek thing was dumb. And, again, the movie had this tremendous claustrophobic feel about it since it was all shot on a (very small) sound stage. The goofy henchmen flying around on motorcycles made me cringe. I tried to watch it about 6 months ago when it was on cable and it literally made me depressed. AWFUL film! I swear i'd rather watch the cheesy Batman and Robin again before ever watching Returns again. True story. I am always shocked when someone says they liked that piece of shit movie. Forever was a MUCH better film IMO. Even though it sucks in comparison to Begins. They all suck when compared to Begins. TDK is going to be so incredible!!

  • June 30, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    joker's voice

    by zom-bot.com

    when heath was trying to come up with a voice, he described it to nolan (in a way nolan would later recall as crazy, and not in a good way) 'like a ventriloquist- high and low at the same time'. and you hear it and it works. it dips to a low growl and up to a nasal whine even within one multisyllabled word.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    I'm so sick of people bringing 9/11 into everything

    by I Dunno

    Christ, give it a rest already.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    greenstyle

    by The Octagoner

    Then I too apologize for my behavior. Good on. Hope we both enjoy the movie.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Oh yeah the score

    by Series7

    I remember there being a lot of distaste for Begins score. I really liked it, I keep hearing it in my head. It has this grand ominous urgency to it, but its not so uplifting like the Elfman score was. Like with the Elfman score you knew Batman was going to win, with this new score there is a sense of maybe. Its kind of like a good underdog score, like he's going to give it his best shot but may ultimately fail. Begins score was one of the few scores of recent to actually stick with me after the movie. Especially when it comes to big movies, there hasn't been a good score in a while.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Great reviews Mori! How bout Hulk?

    by Jonah Echo

    Or did I miss your review for that(the new one of course). I really liked the way you broke down HB2 and DK, and compared both instead of individual takes and you did so without excessive spoilers. All of this makes me curious what you thought of Incredible Hulk, coming from someone who I seem to recall liking the first movie. I know you did a set visit write-up(I think that was you) but either missed your full review or it didnt show up. Any chance of getting a few thoughts bout that one?

  • June 30, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Hellboy II ??

    by batzilla

    WTF? Who gives a shit about Hellboy? I can't believe it is mentioned along with TDK. TDK is an awesome set of characters in an awesome movie. Hellboy is... what? Who the fuck likes Hellboy? The first movie came and went so why does anyone give a rats ass about a sequel? I never even watched the first one. Like most of the population. Screw Hellboy. BRING ON THE DARK KNIGHT!!

  • June 30, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    The Guy Who Slept Through Everything

    by Napolean Solo

    I'd turn down sex with Scarlett Johnanson to see this this at the Midnight show. <br> <br> But I'd call her immediately after the movie ends and give it to her hard up the Obama!

  • June 30, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Good stuff, Maynard...er, Mori, that is!

    by Zeke25:17

    Always a treat to read your essays--for that's really what they are, I think, as opposed to some quick-capsule review you'd find blurting out at you from the newspaper. Harlan Ellison once wrote a column called "Harlan Ellison's Watching" that dealt mostly with reviewing films: the coolest thing was that even when he and I didn't agree, it was still entertaining. (And when we DID agree, it was pretty much right on.) I have no doubt that Dark Knight and Hellboy II will be two of my favorite films this year....Having said that, I still like WANTED, no matter what Mr. Beaky says; my God, don't let him anywhere near the new Argento film--it's about a thousand times nastier and a hundred times dumber.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Beautiful review!

    by hegele

    for the first time i feel like "comic book movies" can be socially relevent and cinematically enriching.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    TLDR

    by MightyOs

    In summary: you loved them both. Right? Thought so. There was never a chance of any other opinion. On the other hand, a fairly well articulated article but it is in the wrong place.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    I reiterate my loyalty to Batman Returns

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Maybe this will be the last time, though.<p>It's purely a taste thing, but I like Tim Burton's gothic fairytale approach, I love the visual aesthetic of the film, the score is wonderful, and it's a mainstream summer film about freaks, weirdos and misfits, which just appeals to me.<p>I'm still curious about this new Batman film, however. Nolan's take on the comic book genre is not totally my cup of tea, but he can be relied relied on to deliver some above average stuff. Nothing yet that quite lives up to the promise of Memento, but I suppose you can't expect the man to be that good every time.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    batzilla, regarding Returns--

    by Zeke25:17

    Right on! I think my biggest problem with the film (or second biggest, next to the absolute retarded retelling of the Penguin's origin) was the sense that not ONCE did you believe any outdoors scene was outdoors! Previously, the worst example I'd seen of that was a scene in DeVito's HOFFA where they're supposed to be walking through the woods and it looked exactly like something on a high-school auditorium stage. The ONLY almost-redeeming thing about Batman Returns is Michelle Pfeiffer, who looked amazing both in and out of the cat-suit...but then, I've had a crush on her since Married to the Mob.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    any other cringers in TDK?

    by zom-bot.com

    besides the kids in the car, i mean?<P>i think the things that make those cheap lines or cheap 'funny' moments so terrible is that the rest of the film is so good, they become even more painful. i may re-edit BB on my mac and reburn a DVD just to forget them.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    UnknownUser

    by Series7

    A lot of my family was in the service as well. I was in for three years? So whats your point? I've been a Navy Brat all my life. My roomate was in the Army for a while. Most of my friends are in the military.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Great review, Mori

    by bravogolfhotel

    I'd been wavering on whether to see the midnight show of TDK, not savoring the notion of stumbling out of the theater at 3 a.m. on a work night, but I'm going to do it now.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    greenstyle

    by Slaphappy Slim

    First off, your Robin point is completely irrelevant. Nolan is documenting Batman's earliest days here. If you've studied Batman as much as you claim, you're aware of that. Now, if Nolan were to make several more Bat films and still not include Robin, you'd have a point. IMO Begins was miles above Returns. With your deep Batman scholarship, perhaps you can explain how a movie that uses such classics as "Year One", "The Man Who Fell" and "The Long Halloween" as inspiration a "lesser" take than an idiosyncratic Burton camp fest with a godawfully hammy Danny DeVito commanding an army of friggin" killer penguins?

  • June 30, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    BUT DOES NOLAN KNOW HOW TO SHOOT ACTION NOW?

    by PumpyMcAss

    That is seriously all I want to know. Are his fight scenes a bunch of confusion and cuts again or does he actually care about the action this time out? The action scenes are what almost killed an almost great movie last time out. Is it the same this time or not?

  • June 30, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Daredevil and Punisher

    by droog

    It's kind of difficult to trust effusive praise for comic book movies from the same guy who once proclaimed that Daredevil and Punisher "got it right".

  • June 30, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    RE: Cringers and Nolan Action Sequences

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Conversely, is it because BB is such a good film that these two items (one-liners and fight scenes) are held to such high scrutiny with regards to Nolan? I find these complaints strange as there have been far worse superhero and/or action films with truly dismal one-liners and all-too close, disorienting action sequences.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    How dare you put Hellboy 2 with The Dark Knight!!

    by YouAreAllMyBastardChildren

    The Dark Knight deserves its own damn separate review! No one gives a shit about Hellboy!

  • June 30, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    i don't mind the action 'problems'

    by zom-bot.com

    like said above, i'd rather see batman dispatch someone mysteriously with a quick movement and throw of a cape than a long, protracted give-and-take matrix style with some thug that goes on waaay too long, OR a shitty kung-fu fight in a bell tower involving a shoe that extends to crotch-kick (or was that returns? i forget)

  • June 30, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    2008=best big movie year

    by T 1000 xp professional

    so far this year has dissapointed the fans of these huge properties the least out of every other year...The case every year is that we get one great with other crappy, this year at least good with a couple great, which is unheard of from the usually shallow summers.......thank you 2008, and it just keeps giving

  • June 30, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    I cannot believe the easy pass you're giving HB2

    by Gil Brooks

    Just GDT is a fanboy fav, does not mean he can throw cool monsters/visuals at us, so we look past the fact that the script is horrible. I love the man, and some of his past films, but HB2 is weak in story, structure, character (yes, esp. character), etc. I do agree with you about the Prince, as he was the best drawn character in the film. But every scene with just the team plays out like a bad sitcom with monsters. I hate writing this, because I REALLY wanted to like the film. It's heartbreaking, actually. But as much as I love GDT, I can't give him a pass on this. :(

  • June 30, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    jesus.That 1st line should read

    by Gil Brooks

    "just because GDT..." That's what I get for typing too fast before hopping in the ol shower...

  • June 30, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    zom-bot.com

    by PumpyMcAss

    I wouldn't mind if it was quick and efficient as long as it was intelligible. Just look at the Bourne movies to see how that is done.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Napolean Solo

    by The Guy Who Slept Through Everything.

    You're goddamn right.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:01 a.m. CST

    bourne

    by zom-bot.com

    true. most of those fights are in broad daylight though. but i agree- even with bourne-shaky-cam those are better. nolan's fight camera should be pulled back to show just HOW efficiently batman fights.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:06 a.m. CST

    I'll bookmark it and read after the 17th

    by Aethyrr

  • June 30, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    90s lists

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Can't believe you hated Point Break Mori. And where was The Rocketeer? Great summation of Die Hard 2 though, possibly the worst sequel ever made.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Devin Faraci is already talking his brand of shit

    by TheLastCleric

    I’ve pretty much given up on visiting CHUD because frankly, I don’t see the logic in giving hits to a site where the writers continuously talk down to their readers. Even among the preening, posturing arrogance that comprises our wonderful online microcosm, Devin Faraci is an uber cunt whose arrogance and condensation is outweighed only by his need to consistently bash those films other people like, such as Batman Begins. I went by the site today to see what his take on all the TDK gushing would be and predictably, it wasn’t pretty. Even though he hasn’t posted his full review, he made a point of writing an article to address the hype the film is generating pre-release and to place it into perspective, basically stating that it’s better than Begins but still flawed (according to him, the film is too long and Nolan can’t shoot action) and you can tell he went into TDK expecting to dislike it. Even more tacky than his hype-control ramblings was his nasty little take on Ledger’s performance, which begrudgingly stated that Ledger’s role was well done but then follows up his praise by claiming that Ledger’s dying may get him a sympathy Oscar he doesn’t deserve, a nice companion piece the article he wrote earlier this year where he bashed Ledger and jumped to some conclusions about his death while comparing him to Britney Spears. Bear in mind this is the same guy who nitpicked Batman Begins but defended Spiderman 3. Devin really is the Comic Guy from the Simpson; fat, ugly, nasty, anti-social and impossibly full of his own shit. I can’t wait to see this film succeed on all fronts, just to feed that fat, shit-eating grin a much deserved comeuppance.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    if it does blow everyone away

    by zom-bot.com

    that will just fuel devin's justification to be the sole source of truth in a world full of idiots.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Excellent and thoughful post...

    by allykatD

    I love to read these insightful monologues on movies, but they're so rare, especially for "superhero movies". I appreciate the time Drew took to read it, and sure there will be people who complain (it's AICN after all), but there are those of us out here, who like insightful and intelligent movie discussion. I am looking forward to both of these movies, especially after Drew's article here.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    What is with the Family Guy hate?

    by TheWacoKid

    Family Guy is hilarious. Granted, I don't break it down on how it is made, but damn it is funny. I'm just confused on why so many people have such a strong hatred for it. Even if it is a copy of the Simpsons, I still laugh my ass off. The Simpsons prime was about 10 years ago, and has slowly been losing steam. The movie sucked because it was basically one long episode that wasn't that funny. Family Guy is fantastic, and anyone who did not laugh at Blue Harvest has no soul.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Dark Knight Will Own Us All

    by fassbinder79

    I've been telling a friend of mine for weeks now that if Dark Knight is as good as it sounds its going to be Titanic for guys. Huge box office. Huge. Nolan blew me away with Prestige and BB. I'll probably be seeing this film at least 4 times in theater.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Felix_Happer - Just use the cat excuse...

    by YouAreAllMyBastardChildren

    If you happen to octuple post again. The ol' "Cat on the keyboard" excuse. It's so ubiquitous I think even Node uses that one.<p>Go see The Dark Knight, my little bastard children.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Still not convinced on Hellboy II

    by Transmetropolitan

    I thought Hellboy was cheesy and lame. Just because he is a good director doesn't make this a guarantee. Outside of visual beauty, even this awesome review doesn't convince me. I'll see it, but I doubt it blows me away. TDK is going to be one of the greatest nights of my life.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Good reviews, BUT...

    by Kid Z

    ...I really hate reviews that combine two disparate films into one review. Just a thing I have, Mori, sorry.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    HELLBOY ON INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO!!!!!

    by force10

    I saw a commercial with Red being interviewed by James Lipton on his show. It's awesome.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    no love for Rhea?

    by zom-bot.com

    why couldn't brother Ron get sister Rhea a bit part as a goblin or something, seems like a natural.<P>Carla from Cheers gotta eat!

  • June 30, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Tiny Lister love Mori

    by zom-bot.com

    wants to just talk about life choices and shit.it's actually touching and hilarious at the same time. i think that spoiler was worth it to hear the backstory about the phone number.

  • June 30, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Fight Scenes and such

    by Geekhaterssuck

    I really had no problem with the fight scenes in BB. Batman as I've understood him in the beginning especially was an urban legend, striking from the shadows and disappearing again. You never knew where he was. I kind of put myself in the criminal's shoes in those fight scenes. I couldn't find him but I knew he was there because I felt the pain, and the terror. It was brillant to do it that way in my mind. Cheesy one-liners? What comic book movie hasn't had it's share? "Just the pussy I wanted to see" and "Oh my God does this mean we have to start fighting?" for all you Returns apologists. Burton vs Nolan? I prefer Nolan's vision just due to the fact it stays truer to its comic roots, Joe Chill as the killer of Thomas and Martha Wayne for example and you get a better idea of why Batman is needed in Gotham, and how he affects the public and public servants. Example the scene where Commisioner Loeb is telling the force to get the Batman. More depth, more character development, and better story that is why I prefer Nolan. I hate, hate, HATED Burton's take on the Penguin. Yes Michelle Pfeiffer made me feel all tingly in my at the time 15 year old loins, but her way of becoming Catwoman was incredibly ridiculous she's Catwoman not a hypersexed zombie. Also the Burton and the Shumacer (horrible spelling I know) films made Commisioner Gordon a joke. You want to talk about Robin being central to the Batman mythos? What about Gordon? Gary Oldman portrays the character perfectly. Ledger vs Nicholson? I reserve final judgement till when I actually see the movie but I will say the more I see Nicholson's version the less I like it. I hadn't seen many "Jack" movies before Batman but the more I see the more I just picture Jack with makeup and not the Joker himself. Ledger's take seems to be what the Joker should be. A psychopath whose twisted mind has it's own sense of humor that he feels is lost on the rest of us. No remorse, no conscience, no reedeeming values just pure hatred of everything good convinced he most show us just the "joke" whatever he considers it to be. Most of the criticisms I see for Begins I realize are personal taste but I find most of them short sighted from people with no imagination and frankly ridiculous. Robin vs No Robin. That's a tough one for me because I love the character of Robin as a symbol of hope and light compared to the darkness of the bat however The series needed to be rebooted badly and Nolan has done a masterful job at doing so. Christian Bale plays the duality of the character with brillance something sorely lacking in any other portrayal. I do hope TDK does live up to the hype and the Nolan vision continue to do the character justice.

  • June 30, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST

    excerpt from call between Tiny and Mori

    by zom-bot.com

    mori: (wakes up at 3am) H-Hullo? <P>tiny: I like puppies. <P>mori: who is this? <P>it's Tiny, man, y'know, the president from fifth element? you said we could talk sometime about life and shit. <P>m: oh yeah man- hey, it's just that.. <P>T: yeah i like the way they smell, man. puppies. <P>M:yeah, yeah it's okay, I- <P>T:yeah man, and the bellies are are warm and fat and shit. sometimes i cry man, 'cause of puppies.<P>M:okay. <P>T:man, putting down my dog was like the hardest thing i ever had to do, more than that time i chose to die on the ferry when the joker was gonna blow the other boat up. <P>M: tiny, that, um, you're talking about acting in the movie, right? your part? <P>T:movie? <P>M: (click)

  • June 30, 2008, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Mori... or Drew

    by DarthBakpao

    Perhaps i miss something, but lately i noticed that Mori had always ended his reviews/ articles with "Drew McWeeny, *insert location*", instead of the usual Moriarty.

  • June 30, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Well, i'm already pig-fucked anticipating to see TDK

    by DarthBakpao

  • June 30, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    WacoKid

    by toadkillerdog

    I like family Guy as well, it does not always hit the mark, but when it does, it soars. I think the hatred is typical fanboy association. Meaning, the South park boys hate family Guy, fanboys love South Park and lick the sweat off of its animated testicles. So, if South Park hates family Guy, then lemming fanboys must hate Family Guy too.

  • June 30, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Fight scenes

    by Falling_Gruber

    If you don't mind spoilers there are a series of 12 clips on youtube - this one shows a fight quite well. Looks less claustrophobic than in BB. So excited for this film!!11one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGOj3eNGELk&feat ure=related

  • June 30, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    I have not been this pumped for a movie since Phantom Menace.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    I believe this time I will 100% be satisfied. Great review for both movies.

  • June 30, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    TheLastCleric

    by Donny Loggins

    I couldn't agree more with your post. He also goes out of his way in every Batman related article to remind us how he is "the guy who hates Batman Begins." He wears it as a badge of honor when he just comes off as a fucking pretentious douchbag.

  • June 30, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    mr_sinister: robin

    by zom-bot.com

    that's sorta what i've been trying to preach in all these TDK talkbacks! :D<P> only i don't think he'll BE robin, i just think that was nolan's nod to the possibility of robin later on, but i don't think he'll do it. it was a way to show batman has a soft spot for kids, although they mention that kid's parents are missing (dead?) after the narrows fear attacks.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Can you fanboys jerk me off...

    by samuraiyao

    Seriously imagine using your hands useful for a change...

  • June 30, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Damn, Mori...

    by MetalMickey

    ..today you are a man. With this article you've become the first online critic of your generation to cross that line & join the ranks of Siskel, Kael, & Canby. Seriously, congratulations.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    This review was superior than Siskel, Kael, Canby...

    by crankyoldguy

    Brilliant. Passionate and analytical. Nothing the elitist likes of a New Yorker, Village Voice, etc runs will or can campare. And all the talkbackers already trying to tear the review and films down with their juvenile expletive-laced doggeral are simply children, as most of them always are.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Did Anyone Read The Chud Article By Russ Fischer...

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    It was about the unfounded Christian Bale in Ridley Scott's Nottingham rumour. At the end though he talks about 3:10 To Yuma and how anyone hoping for a 3:10 reunion (Russel Crowe being in Nottingham)should "pit your 3:10 To Yuma reunion fantasies on Ben Foster, and another project". Hmmmmmmm what could it mean?

  • June 30, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Hellboy 2...heart?????

    by Executor

    I thought it was really lacking. Visually, amazing creatures and amazing world on par with the fantastic elements of Pans Labyrinth (brilliant movie and one of my favs of that year.) But did you really feel for Abe and the Princess like you felt for the girl in Pans Labyrinth? Did they break your heart? I don't think so.<P>Pacing was off, felt slow and un-plotted, the (SPOILER, but not really since you find out about 5 minutes in) whole Liz pregancy subplot and her fighting with Hellboy has absolutely no poignancy whatsoever either. <p>Really felt all style no substance. It did aim high, but missed the mark.<p>Hope the Hobbit brings out more of Pans Guillermo than Hellboy Guillermo or else we're in trouble.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    ZomBot...if I may both agree and disagree

    by Brians Life

    ...I agree that Gordon's "I gotta get me one of those" was too easy to belong in the film...but from a script that I thought was brilliant on the other hand I can forgive a few EASY laugh lines...<br><br>I don't think Bruce gave the bum the coat with thinking that people were going to be looking to KILL HIM. He was under the impression that everyone would be searching for the millionaire playboy that mysteriously vanished...also he WAS about to burn it before the bum stopped him AND he told him "be careful who see's you with that."<br><br>That said, I felt that the callback to that line was PERFECT if a bit to convenient. That bum saw Bruce Wayne at the height of the two major points in Wayne's transformation.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Nolan has said he WILL NOT DO ROBIN

    by Brians Life

    Was the kid in BEGINS a nod to Robin...probably.<br><br>But Nolan has said there are a few characters that "do not fit in the more realistic Batman world" he's creating...Penguin, Robin and any characters that are supernatural (Clayface, etc)

  • June 30, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    I'm with MNG.

    by DocPazuzu

    Never understood the complaints about one-liners or fight scenes in BB. <p> I kind of liked when Batman took out the thugs on the wharf. It conveyed a sense of Batman being an unstoppable physical force. I was content to let my imagination fill in the punches and kicks for me. <p> Folks complaining about that always struck me as being the same people who would say Alien sucks because "you can hardly see the monster cuz it's like all dark n stuff."

  • June 30, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Gotham Knight

    by oisin5199

    It sucks that I'll be on vacation and away from an IMAX until the end of July, so I won't see DK until a few weeks after it comes out, but I'm determined to see HBII the night it comes out, as I'm leaving town the next day. But I wanted to say that I saw Gotham Knight at Wizard this past weekend at Chicago. It's amazing. A dark, adult animated set of works that actually deals with Batman on some deep philosophical levels, directly addressing some issues in Begins and foreshadowing stuff in DK. In style and purpose, it's kinda like the Animatrix, but better. BTW, is there any truth to the rumor that Nolan is looking to Grant Morrison's Arkham Asylum graphic novel for ideas on the 3rd film in the trilogy?

  • June 30, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    HB2:earth, air, fire, water?

    by zom-bot.com

    anybody else realize that? <P>liz=fire <P>abe=water <P>new guy in suit=air <P>hellboy=earth. <P>you'd be tempted to say hellboy is fire, but his hand is made out of stone, after all

  • June 30, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    Begins fight scenes didn't bother me

    by Brians Life

    Not a bit....I think I liked being IN the fight. I mean, I just recall some of the Shumacher fight scenes. I'm in no mood to see Batman do a triple somersault off a water fountain. Nolan's fights were realistic...not cartoony.<br><br>Anyone watch that Docu on the BEGINS DVD about the fight choreography...those guys that developed this fighting style in which you really never expose a limp. Everything stays tight to your body.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Robin

    by HANSOLOS_CARBONITEFROZENPENIS

    always fails, why not just team batman up with some other "hero" like a cameo thing. how about swamp thing

  • June 30, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    crankyoldguy

    by samuraiyao

    You're not referring to me as being a juvenile child are you? I can't wait for hellboy2 and TDK, it's the fanboys that get on my nerves...

  • June 30, 2008, 1:32 p.m. CST

    by HANSOLOS_CARBONITEFROZENPENIS

  • June 30, 2008, 1:33 p.m. CST

    LOL at ZOM-BOT

    by MRJONZ72

    thanks for the Rhea comment, that made me laugh. For some reason I didnt see the last part about Carla Got Eat until this just now..but though it was funnier without that part. But none the less good laugh.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    HB2 needs

    by HANSOLOS_CARBONITEFROZENPENIS

    if that's the case with the elements then we need a kid with a monkey to be Heart, and have there powers combine... I'm surprised no one has made THAT movie yet

  • June 30, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Executor- EXACTLY

    by Gil Brooks

    The film lacked heart. Not to mention all the "good guys" were motivated by greed, not the need to save the world.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    I would watch Swamp Thing & Robin

    by Elemeno Pee

    in a heartbeat. But Keep Robin out of Nolan's trilogy. It's not going to happen.

  • June 30, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    by DeadPanWalking

  • June 30, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Da-yum

    by DeadPanWalking

    That's quite a review. You should should do this sort of thing for a living. Very nice!

  • June 30, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    The ancient Greeks used gods...

    by geodesigns

    ... and the modern Geeks use superheroes when they craft modern mythologies that resonate with the public. Geek fandom crosses over to the mainstream when a character's story is so compelling that people want to see the adventure.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    No way it can

    by Sithdan

    outdo the magnum opus of Batman Returns, no way in HELL!!!

  • June 30, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    NO ROBIN... EVER!

    by DOGSOUP

  • June 30, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Nice review, Moriarty

    by BiggusDickus

    Even though your opinions, for me, were somewhat tainted for a while after your effusive praise of the truly abysmal 'Speed Racer'.<p>Nevertheless, I'll be there for both of these cinematic treats and your comments on TDK in Imax has convinced me to give the format another go (after feeling mightily short-changed by Beowulf - pretty, but dull). Cheers, Drew!

  • June 30, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Is it necessary to compare these to Iron Man?

    by stinkyfingerz

    I may be the only person that thought Iron Man was a suck-fest for the most part. I enjoyed the first act, but the third act was sloppy, cliched, and poorly executed. There is just no way IM set the bar for comic book films. Hopefully TDK, and HB 2 will get the bad taste out of my mouth, because listerine hasn't worked at all.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Returns over Begins? Really?

    by TheLastCleric

    No offense, but Batman Returns is even worse than Batman '89 in terms of preserving the mythology. It's an okay film as a separate entity but it's truly a bizarre movie in so many ways, including the whole March of the Penguins with missiles climax. Burton had zero interest in crafting a film that dealt with the true mythology of Batman (In the opening action scene he kills at least two people) and his portrayal of both Catwoman and the Penguin were completely wrong. Begins may have taken a few creative liberties but for the most part it was incredibly true to the source material. That said, TDK looks to be the new standard for Comic Book Films, which is what I predicted some time back. It simply looks amazing.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Returns is a brilliant film but not necessarily...

    by Cameron1

    a great Batman film. Although, the way it exposes Bruce Wayne's psychology through the 3 villains is masterful and the cinematography, production design and dialogue is top-notch just left-of-centre. TDK looks like it will be the best of any of the films so far and maybe, just maybe the first truly classic superhero movie.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    I'm sorry, but Nolans fights in Begins are badly shot. period

    by IndustryKiller!

    Any fight where you cannot distinctly tell what is happening is badly shot. I love the excuse "It's like actually being in a fight!", it's such bullshit I can only think that anyone who says it hasn't actually been in a fight. When you fight someone the world doesn't become all shaky and then you get random flashes of the body parts of yourself and the person you are fighting. Sure a fight can be confusing, but never in the respect that Nolan shows it. And anyone who says "That's what it would be like to fight Batman" well then what about that first fight in Mongolia with the other prisoners? That fight was well before Wayne becomes Batman and it still employs that terrible quick cut editing. The purpose of a fight scene is to show the visceral edge of what is happening and when you can't tell who is hitting whom and when that sensation is absolutely impossible to achieve. What you guys are suggesting Nolan shot is much closer to what Paul Greengrass ACTUALLY shot with The Bourne Ultimatum, which I think is what Nolan was going for but didn't get. in that film you have to work to keep up but it's all completely intelligible. Justifying the fight in that just sounds like hollow attempts to justify every little flaw because you want it to be perfect. Well, Batman Begins aint perfect, no matter how much you liked it.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Great review.

    by Godovhellfire

  • June 30, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    A Nolanverse Robin...

    by UltimaRex

    Empire brought this up and I agree: A girl in her early twenties. Robin exists to cheer Batman up. To "add colour". If Nolan wants to go that way in Batman 3...

  • June 30, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Great review.

    by Godovhellfire

    I had chilli for lunch.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    stinkyfingerz, RE: Ironman

    by TheLastCleric

    I think it was a good film but as a comic character I don't find him all that interesting, personally. I think the film was solid but at the same time I think something like TDK is going to be a completely different experience which is why I don't think comparing the two will accomplish much. I do personally consider The Joker to be one of the best villains of all time however, which is why I think Ledger's final performance is going to elevate TDK beyond so many other films in the genre. We'll see come July 18th.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    RE: Here's something to think about by Agent Johnson

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Interesting point on Robin and being closer to the comics. However Robin has not been in every single of Batman yes he's be an integral part just like Alfred and Gordon however they are plenty of good true to the comic stories that can be told on the silver screen without the Boy Wonder. I am by no means a Robin hater but I think the Nolan movies would be better without the character. With the exception of Begins most of the focus of the Batman movies has really not been on Batman. I think that there are plenty of good movies to be made without "Robin Begins." Just my opinion of course but I don't think the character is needed in this series.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    zom-bot.com

    by Damage_Inc

    Earth, air, fire, water? Good call, I never thought of that. BTW, the puppy post was the best one today. Ha.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Speaking of ancient

    by FlickaPoo

  • June 30, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Whoa Nevermind, that clip of a fight posted above

    by IndustryKiller!

    Was fantastic. Not a single bit of quick cut bullshit. If Nolan has fixed this, because it looks like he fixed everything else about Begins thus far, then this movie may, in fact, bring us to the proverbial Holy land.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Industrykiller

    by Geekhaterssuck

    You are entitled to your opinion of course but I still say the way the fight scenes in Begins were done were just fine. Use a little imagination.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller!

    by TheLastCleric

    I didn't care for the way the fights were shot in Begins either, but they were shot as intended and I respect what Nolan was trying to do. Also, not all the fights were shot like that in Begins, just the fights where he was trying to convey Batman's speed and stealth. I don't think the action in BB was bad, just uneven at times.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    try tht again. Speaking of ancient Greek gods...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...any self respecting ancient Greek Batman would have had at least one well toned Robin at his beck and call. In fact he would probably have several...just in case the first one got tired...or had a headache...if you know what I mean....

  • June 30, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    I'd agree with that IndustryKiller...

    by Cameron1

    It's true that Greengrass' fight scenes are completely intelligible just fast moving whereas Nolan's are not intelligible and just as fast. However I'm (and I'm in the clear minority on this I know) not particularly bothered about the confusing fight scenes in Begins, it was everything else I liked. I think TDK will be more satisfying on a visceral level than Begins but I'm not going to be too disappointed if the violence isn't clearly delineated.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    I think Vern actually said it best in his Indy 4 review

    by IndustryKiller!

    He talked about the absolute sainthood Batman begins has reached, and on the subject of the action held therein he said (I'm paraphrasing from memory cause I can't find it) "Batman Begins is a movie about a guy in a costume jumping from building to building fighting crime and there isn't a single classic scene of him doing just that" Now I, and I'm pretty sure Vern, knows that its not JUST about fighting, but that element (man in a costume fighting crime) is really why we love it so much, and he's right and it's sad that we don't get better scenes of that happening. Now it really looks like The Dark Knight is gonna remedy that and I'm as excited as all of you, so take that as you will.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    As for the beatification of Begins, well...

    by Cameron1

    I don't worship it,it's a cool Batman movie peppered with quite a few flaws. I think after Batman and Robin any Batman film that took itself seriously was bound to be embraced wholeheartedly by many people.

  • June 30, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Well, Vern missed something then...

    by TheLastCleric

    That scene at the docks when Batman shows up and starts snatching guys one by one is classic Batman, as is that scene where he dangles that fat, crooked cop by his leg. However, I do agree that the camera needs to pull back and show us more of the fight. Bale has got the physical ability so why not let him display it? That said, I'm willing to concede that the action in BB was the weakest element, though in my estimation far better than most "action films" regardless.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    TheLastCleric

    by RowdyRoddyStriper

    Fights were shot that way to show Batman's stealth? Okay, so why was the fight in the prison yard in the beginning shot the same exact way? Yeah, exactly.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    One of the best reviews I have ever read...

    by cameron1975willi

    ...Nice work Moriaty. I guess these films inspired you to bring your 'A' game?

  • June 30, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    So McWeeny doesn't like Family Guy?

    by RowdyRoddyStriper

    Why am I not surprised? One needs intelligence and a sense of humor to enjoy Family Guy, two things dear McWeeny is sorely lacking in. Add to this the fact he thought The Incredible Hulk was a good movie, is it any wonder he is the least respected reviewer on this site? And where IS that Incredible Hulk review from McWeeny?

  • June 30, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Devin form CHUD...

    by m_reporter

    ...liked Fantastic 4. That alone kills all his credibility as a film reviewer. <p>At least for me.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Yes I want to see batman more but...

    by nukethefridge

    Gimme a hellboy graphic novel before a batman one.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    RowdyRoddyStriper

    by TheLastCleric

    The fight in the prison yard wasn't all that jumpy or hard to follow. It was a jumble because he was fighting several guys at once but I thought it was pretty easy to follow. It was also brutally realistic.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:15 p.m. CST

    damage inc: puppies

    by zom-bot.com

    i think you and me are the only ones that read that. i pictured lister saying all that over the phone in the middle of the night and cracked myself up agfain, i'm sorry. :D

  • June 30, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST

    Fight Scenes

    by Slaphappy Slim

    Isn't all of this parsing of the fight scenes in Begins beating a fucking dead horse at this point? Could they have been better? Sure. Were they nearly as bad as some of you make them out to be? (Now there's some hyperbole for you) Not even close. The fight scenes were such a small percentage of the film to begin with, as it was a movie about characters and their psychologies. If this were a more traditional superhero/action film the complaints would be more valid. But I have a hard time believing anybody truly felt the film was ruined for them because of quick cuts, etc.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    Intelligence and humor to the Family Guy...

    by Jonah Echo

    If almost anything they did on that show had it's root in originality and wasn't a riff on something else, done better and smarter elsewhere then I could see your point. As is, I'd likely to suggest that anyone finding FG smart and freshly funny hasn't sampled much of whats out there comedically. That or you just truly marvel at the "brilliance" of random schtick.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    It's time to play...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...Guess the Cunt! Featuring RowdyRoddyStriper!

  • June 30, 2008, 3:21 p.m. CST

    Because Family Guy requires intelligence?

    by Elemeno Pee

    ... Since when? Maybe I'm not all that familiar with this site, but why is Moriarty the least respected reviewer? Judging from every review I've read on here in the past year or so, Moriarty comes off as the smartest writer. And possibly the only one that's well-read. He's praising Christopher Nolan and Guillermo Del Toro and you're praising Seth Macfarlane. I'll admit it.... I own the first volume of Family Guy on DVD. It's not intelligent. At all. I guess I understand why people enjoy it, but I'll never get why people defend it in a certain way. "You're just too stupid to understand Family Guy's intellectual ingenuity!"

  • June 30, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST

    family guy

    by zom-bot.com

    family guy took the patented homer flashback and made a whole series out of it, again and again.and again. then only by using what they learned from southpark as far as how far to push the adult limits of prime-time cartoons, did they fill the remainder with 'let's see what we can get away with'...at least the simpsons jumping from topic to topic has flow, family guy is so full of comedic flashbacks that there isn't even a progressive episode in between. not that a show needs that, it's just that they forgot it.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Man, Industry Killer...you're a biiiiiiiiitch...

    by Brians Life

    And if you couldn't follow the opening fight scene in Mongolia than you're retarded too!<br><br>Get past it!

  • June 30, 2008, 3:40 p.m. CST

    IMAX Question

    by McDee

    I saw Attack of the Clones in IMAX after I saw it in a regular theater and noticed all the stuff that had been cut. Since then, I've avoided IMAX just because I didn't want to miss any scenes. When did movies stop being edited down for the IMAX screen?

  • June 30, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST

    I hate to sound like an ass...

    by fassbinder79

    But why is it that Dark Knight is being talked about with Hellboy 2? I liked the first Hellboy but Dark Knight is going to be on a WHOLE OTHER LEVEL. They aren't even in the same league as far as I'm concerned. Without naming names but are certain people in the geek internet film world trying to help their friend Del Toro have some success by piggy backing him on top of Nolan's popularity and buzz? I'm all for supporting good comic book films and filmmakers with a vision in Hollywood. But there is no way that Hellboy 2 is going to stand a candle to Dark Knight. Can't you talk about them separately please? I mean every review I've read of Hellboy 2 makes an apology for the first film in some way. If you have to set it up that way then somethings wrong. And by the way this is coming from someone who liked the Smith character in Hellboy 1.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Agent Johnson

    by TheLastCleric

    Superheroes are the best example of modern mythology, although I'd personally equate Batman more with somebody like Odysseus and Superman with Hercules. Regardless, they do represent our mythology as a society so I don't see the problem with a comparison.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:50 p.m. CST

    McDee

    by TheLastCleric

    As I understand it, IMAX can only play a two-hour film, so anything in excess of that running time must be trimmed.

  • June 30, 2008, 3:56 p.m. CST

    Trying to explain how Family Guy is funny...

    by RowdyRoddyStriper

    Trying to explain how Family Guy is funny to a bunch of Batman obsessed dopes is pointless. Family Guy is one of the smartest shows ever created in any medium. People who don't like it or find it funny are sub-human.

  • June 30, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    BRING! IT! ON!

    by mrfan

    Great review. Looking forward to both films. Think both will be great in their own way. Loved the first ones. First, Hellboy 2. My appetizer. Followed by The Dark Knight. Full course meal. All the rest of the movies for the summer will be dessert.

  • June 30, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    family guy requires...

    by irrelevntelefant

    weed and a comfortable couch... and the trivial movie/tv knowledge of someone raised in the 80's.<p>" I was there when 'the Gooch' beat up Arnold Jackson!"

  • June 30, 2008, 4:10 p.m. CST

    weak minded agent johnson

    by happyboy

    thanks for regurgitating what South Park told you about family guy. way to think for yourself. family guy is random in the way that seinfeld was about nothing and beavis and butthead was about violence... in other words you just dont get it chief. but good job in taking South Park's word for it... a show 5 years past its prime, probably the corniest, most self-righteous and most politically didactic show currently on TV (save maybe Oprah)

  • June 30, 2008, 4:11 p.m. CST

    Merciless hyperbole

    by kafka07

    Good review, Mori, and glad you said what you did about how some critics are already praising TDK to such a ridiculous degree. This is going to be a good film, probably a great one, but hek let's be able to go into it with a fresh and open mind.

  • June 30, 2008, 4:21 p.m. CST

    Julie Numar was better catwoman than Pfifer

    by Groothewarrior

    and Burgess Merideth was much more like comic book penguin than DeVito

  • June 30, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    julie newmar

    by zom-bot.com

    was a better woman than most women.

  • June 30, 2008, 4:28 p.m. CST

    zom-bot.com

    by Damage_Inc

    Did you ever figure out who that bloke was the other day?

  • June 30, 2008, 4:40 p.m. CST

    dictionary.com

    by happyboy

    lmfao "you dont get it" isn't an argument chief, it's called an observation. English perchance is a second language? let's be honest. like you, family guy aint smart. just really really clever and very honest. both something that's in rare abundance on TV. what other show has the balls to do "I need a Jew" and get yanked off the air for it? Compare the irreverence of Stewie's reverse oedipal complex versus cartman's tired gay bashing which maybe was edgy circa 1988. Chicken fight > South Park's Roddy versus Keith David. Family Guy haters are 50% ppl who dont find it funny and 50% weak minded morons who feel guilty laughing at things the media tells you it's not "smart" to laugh at... and ppl who simply dont find it funny dont care enough to waste time attacking it on some website

  • June 30, 2008, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Happy Boy...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... project much, Dutch? <P>Let me state it clearly since you seem determined to ascribe motive to my comments. I don't like FAMILY GUY because it's not funny. Period. I thought it was mildly amusing for a few episodes, and then the formula became set in stone, and it just doesn't make me laugh. If you laugh at it, great. But you'll notice, I didn't have to insult fans of it to observe that it doesn't work for me. You, on the other hand, seem to feel that it's urgent to insult people who don't feel the same way you do. Take a pill and learn to live up to your talkback name.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:08 p.m. CST

    Mori

    by Kloipy

    that was the best review I've read this year so-far. Time and again you prove to be the most talented writer on this site (no offense to the others). Your words evoke the mood of a true film lover. And I thank you for that. It's nice to read a review where 'pussy' isn't mentioned as a metephor for a movie.<p> Also, reading that Harry had sex while watching Caligula, just made me feel disgusting.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:11 p.m. CST

    LaBeef's hair looks like steel wool...

    by BGDAWES

    in Indiana Jones vs the flying saucers. <br> <br> Also, how was he able to identify Indy while riding a motorcycle along side a moving train full of people without ever having seen him before? <br> <br> LaBeef's hair nuked the fridge in that scene. <br> <br> Drrrrrup!

  • June 30, 2008, 5:12 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah, and Mori...

    by BGDAWES

    great review as usual. All dick suckery aside, you really are a good righter.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:20 p.m. CST

    got the babysitter booked for TDK and HB2!

    by irrelevntelefant

    then the following week- SAN DIEGO COMIC CON! <p> (already pre-ordered my BSG "toaster")<p>

  • June 30, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Mori poses a good question...

    by irrelevntelefant

    are we each living up to our talkback names ? <p> DannyGloversdickblood - most certainly, but the rest of us? hmmm....<P>

  • June 30, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Good job!

    by JackSkellington

    If it wasn't for yourself and Capone, I wouldn't read the reviews on this site anymore. I don't intend to sound like how I'm probably coming off, but intelligent, reasoned and insightful reviews are too far and few between. Cheers!

  • June 30, 2008, 5:25 p.m. CST

    Nolan COULD do Robin if he wanted

    by terry1978

    I don't think the character is that campy and goofy that he couldn't be done in a serious fashion...there are many arcs where he's been done. You can have him be somewhat lighter without being comedy, and angsty without it bordering on satire.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:26 p.m. CST

    TDK Fight scene... not

    by Iowa Snot Client

    Not hating on Burton here, but how about that very first "fight scene" in Batman '89? "Well, it's almost pitch-black and it's kinda blurry and Batman couldn't turn his head, but I think he just punched the bad guy or something. I heard a sound effect."

  • June 30, 2008, 5:26 p.m. CST

    Question for Mori

    by a rolling stone

    The bad cop...unshaven? Overweight? Munching on a cigar? Initials H.B.? Nod your head if I'm warm, please...

  • June 30, 2008, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Read the non-spoiler stuff...

    by Darth Thoth

    And what a great review Moriarty! I can't wait to see the films and then come back to read the rest of the review in full. Wow. I can't wait for these 2 movies!!!!!!

  • June 30, 2008, 5:36 p.m. CST

    Kloipy?! What up!

    by finky089

  • June 30, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST

    These two films sound like EXACTLY what they should be

    by finky089

    I'm glad to read Nolan and Guillermo pulled it off. Thanks for the in-depth reviews, Mori.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Speaking as a crotchety old conservative dad...

    by Iowa Snot Client

    I appreciate Moriarty addressing age appropriateness, and I do agree that "moral ambiguity is [not] one of the things kids look for in their movies." Kids are fed a steady diet of moral ambiguity these days; wouldn't it be nice if we could build up a little sense of morality in the kids first, and then disillusion them a little bit later? As an adult I'm stoked for TDK, but I really enjoyed my '70s-era pre-Dark Knight Batman too.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST

    Best movie of the decade!

    by Crackles

    In my opinion The Dark Knight is gonna be the best movie since the year 2000! Ledger is gonna blow us away! From what I've seen he looks pretty Frakin Crazy! If you wanna really see what the joker is capable of and how demented he really is I suggest you read 'The Killing Joke'! Awesome Comic!!!

  • June 30, 2008, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Also...

    by Crackles

    Family guy is getting kind of old!

  • June 30, 2008, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Great Review(s) Mori

    by flickchick85

    You're definitely my favorite reviewer on this site, and it's nice to read such eloquent reviews here every once and a while. I've already got my TDK tickets, but you just convinced me to check out Hellboy 2 as well (wasn't a fan of the 1st one). Can't wait to read your Wall•E review.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:43 p.m. CST

    Kloipy

    by Iowa Snot Client

    You've got me thinking that Mr. McWeeny ought to write a Masters of Horror episode about a grotesque hairy red monster that molests human women while making them watch bad movies.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    The problem with Robin...

    by Brians Life

    He was added to maintain a youthful audience with the comic and WAS a success (see every other DC hero as proof)...<br><br>but as a character, Batman always works best without Robin (especially true in a movie universe)<br><br>I love Robin and I've REALLY enjoyed alot of comis with Robin in them (classics, 70's and 90s to oughts)...<br><br>for me, there is just something fundamentally wrong in the idea of Batman at one point deciding he was going to train and educate a 12 year old boy.<br><br>NOT in a gay way...it just stinks of the optimism of the 40's....it's VERY UN-Batman.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    heLastCleric and McDee

    by Sodapopguy

    Actually, the IMAX platter system can now handle a film that is about 2 hours and 45 minutes long. So, you will not be missing any film footage this time around.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST

    Expectation realignment: Think "Superman Returns"

    by Chewtoy

    Seriously, the prerelease buzz on Singer's dead-on-arrival revamp of the Superman franchise was just as glowing as the current word on the Dark Knight. Big name sites and sources were calling it the best superhero movie ever. There were loads written about how moving, deep and adult it was in the way it approached the genre. And it was all pretty much starry-eyed hogwash. I'm not saying Nolan's latest will be the same, but simply throwing the possibility out there for people who feel the need to manage their expectations.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:52 p.m. CST

    Brian's Life...

    by depalma25

    Robin is the worst thing about the Batman universe. Batman is a solitary,tortured, obsessive character. I want to see a Robin in Nolan's films, just about as much as I want to see a Batgirl.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:53 p.m. CST

    I am continually impressed by

    by comedian_x

    the writing prowess of Jonathon Nolan. The Prestige blew me away the first time I saw it. Here was an original sci-fi movie; not a remake, not a sequel, not a fucking comic strip adaptation, but an original mature entry into the science fiction genre. <p> I wouldn't have believed it was possible in this film making climate -- but -- there it is.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Bravo

    by WickedJester

    Loved the review. Well worth the wait.

  • June 30, 2008, 5:56 p.m. CST

    Superman Returns....

    by Crackles

    was nothing original. It was just a sequel to the damn Donner films. Not that I don't like Donner's Superman but lets get fresh with this shit and really delve into the comics. Give it some more science fiction and give us a cool super villain like Brianiac or Bizzaro, and then work our way to Doomsday! Isn't that what we all want to see. This is not the case with the Dark Knight! Nolan totally stayed true with the comics and he's giving us all the villains we want! Two Face is gonna kick just as much ass as the Joker!

  • June 30, 2008, 5:57 p.m. CST

    The Prestige *was* an adaptation...

    by Chewtoy

    ...of the novel by Christopher Priest.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST

    superheros not originally for kids

    by zom-bot.com

    comics were for kids. little lulu, shit like that. heros originated as sci-fi, war, crime and horror- for adults and were especially enjoyed by the military. it was only when kids got a hold of comics, moms found them, there was the whole trial about a comics code to protect the children, that stuff was toned down and things like Robin brought in to CATER to the youth market.then the companies realized they could sell toys, shirts, etc to children. <P>batman was originally a violent crime comic. fact. no robin for some time. this is about batman's beginnings, after all.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Nolan on BBs fight scenes

    by Indexical

    In an interview posted on IESB the other day Nolan talks about how in Begins he shot the fight scenes more from the criminals perspective, with Batman being just a blur moving in and out of the shadows. He also says that in The Dark Knight we are far more exposed to Batmans fighting style and methods of infiltration etc. Sounds great.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:28 p.m. CST

    Just watched WallE thought the best moment in the film Spoiler

    by CrichtonAstronut

    was when EVE gave up her very important directive to hold WallE's hand when she thought he was going to die. That's what the Liz moment you described reminded me of. Thank you for those great reviews. If it's possible I'm looking even more foreward to these two movies than I already was.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Its obvious that Hellboy 2 is lesser of the two

    by jesusne0

    I mean I didn't like the first one that much regardless of the success of Pan's Labrynth

  • June 30, 2008, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Its obvious that Hellboy 2 is lesser of the two

    by jesusne0

    I mean I didn't like the first one that much regardless of the success of Pan's Labrynth

  • June 30, 2008, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Fuck man, alright it was an

    by comedian_x

    adaptation, you're right Chewtoy. I knew as a I typed that I could be wrong. Damn me and my impulses.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:33 p.m. CST

    they come of age the year they become overexposed?

    by BMacSmith

    its all down hill from here, folks!

  • June 30, 2008, 6:34 p.m. CST

    I loved the traic figure Two Face in the Animated series

    by CrichtonAstronut

    and I was just angry about the bad joke they mafde of that great character in Batman Forever. I love Tommy Lee Jones in all his other roles but that just angered me, the waste of billiant character. I'm glad to hear Eckardt and Nolan got it right.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:35 p.m. CST

    Superman Returns is a beautiful tribute...

    by jesusne0

    to the Donner films mixed with a social commentary that was onced tabooed in films. Pre-Dark Knight, Superman Returns is my favorite superhero film of all time.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:36 p.m. CST

    Take everything I said

    by comedian_x

    about The Prestige and apply it to The Fountain then.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Will NOT be the best of the decade...

    by starlesswinter

    The Dark Knight will most likely be a great film, but I seriously doubt that it will be the best of the decade. Among the greats of the decade, maybe, but not THE best. This film simply will not have the heart that a film of that type needs. I'm sure it will have a good deal of emotional complexity, but not heart.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:42 p.m. CST

    Just curious starlesswinter.......

    by Crackles

    What do you consider the best movie of the decade?

  • June 30, 2008, 6:45 p.m. CST

    idk...

    by starlesswinter

    I really don't know...the decade's not over yet. I just don't think that the Dark Knight will have the heart the best film of the decade needs. I'll be happy to change my mind when I actually see the film.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:45 p.m. CST

    When you think about it there was almost no

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    difference between Jones' Two-Face, and The Joker. I'm not blaming Jones, he's a great actor,and I think he played it like it was written. Two-Face has always been a complex character. Jones's wasn't given the opportunity that Eckhardt has. We didn't get to see a Dent to Two-Face transformation in Jones that we'll get to see in The Dark Knight.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST

    the Fountain

    by zom-bot.com

    wasn't a nolan movie, it was Darren Aronofsky's. ha ha

  • June 30, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST

    What about Seth Rogen writing/starring in Green Hornet?

    by Heckles

    Could be the worst. Or best.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:52 p.m. CST

    I think Michael C. Hall should play someone like the

    by CrichtonAstronut

    Clock King in a Nolan Batman movie. He has a way of making a disturbed mentality both logical and symapathetic. Eckardt's gonna be great.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST

    Kurtlockwood

    by mpfanatic

    you said who should play joker if the joker doesnt die at the end of tdk i saw the movie no one could recasting would bring the quality down. no one can ever live up to what Heath has done here.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST

    Agreed Grammaton Schumacher was making a comedy

    by CrichtonAstronut

    and didn't want a tragic wounded soul with great emotional depth. Pity to because I'm sure Jones would have nailed that.

  • June 30, 2008, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Hey Mori, review WALL-E already, you fucker!

    by Galactic

  • June 30, 2008, 6:58 p.m. CST

    Happy Boy

    by Transmetropolitan

    Moriarty owned you with that response, how's it feel?

  • June 30, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    DAMN YOU M NIGHT SHYAMALAN!

    by --- Emperor ---

    That dirty foreign bastard with limited range is surely going to ruin this film for all of us once more!

  • June 30, 2008, 7:07 p.m. CST

    M. Night "the next Spielberg" the magazine said?

    by Silverglade

    No. It's the man they call Nolan.

  • June 30, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    having chris odonel for robin is NOT nuking the fridge

    by Prossor

    it is in fact, inspired casting and a subtle eye-wink to the audience and a sharply filmmaking skill of cleverly tying the past batmans with nolans new visceral world. it is, shall we say, a thing, of rare beauty. ok i'm done talkign all preteniously n shit but ROBIN NEDZ TO CUM BAK BIATCHES.

  • June 30, 2008, 7:18 p.m. CST

    Yakbacker, pay attention in class

    by Chewtoy

    At no point did I claim that Moriarty raved about Superman Returns. Plus, in regards to Superman Returns disappointing, I specifically stated "I'm not saying Nolan's latest will be the same". I'm not predicting doom for TDK. I was addressing Moriarty's point that early word on the film has included "Huge claims. Pretty much the pinnacle of hyperbole" that would make it impossible for some audience members to go into the film with realistic expectations, and not with a chip on their shoulders. I offered a comparison to the hyperbole tossed about pre-Superman Returns as a reminder that could help folks manage their expectations.

  • June 30, 2008, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Think of a family guy joke...

    by Elemeno Pee

    and then try to think of what episode that joke was from. You can't. It's impossible.

  • June 30, 2008, 7:37 p.m. CST

    family guy is USUALLY funny, blue harvest sucked

    by Prossor

    i've gone back and forth from being defender ot attacker of FG, i've decided to stop lying to myself and agree that for the most part i do find it funny, about 80% of the time, blue harvest though was pure trash, all it was was reenacting the scenes VERBATIM, with exact dialogue. and they even released a dvd sayin it will never air again and then it aired a while ago. fucking idioits and to those that actually bought that dvd.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:13 p.m. CST

    i bought the blu harvest dvd for the t-shirt

    by irrelevntelefant

  • June 30, 2008, 8:31 p.m. CST

    Fuck Family Guy.

    by ebonic_plague

    Seth McFarlane, he's okay, but put every episode of his damn show in a rocket and shoot it into the goddamn fucking sun.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:34 p.m. CST

    I already have my midnight IMAX ticket for TDK

    by darquelyte

    At this point, only an army of hotties offering a "sex buffet" could prevent me from seeing TDK in IMAX at midnight. I'm a geek, but I'm a guy first.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:35 p.m. CST

    This is why I love Moriarty

    by Greenleaf1

    Way to do justice to these comic book movies that manage to create real art by writing real art yourself. Thank you for giving us deep feelings about the films rather than giving us strange comparisons (I doubt Hellboy 2 is anything like A New Hope). I've never been more excited for a film in my life than I am now for TDK.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Wow, Moriarty, your Batman Returns review...

    by antonphd

    I don't get tired of watching Batman Returns. It is a work of art. I can put it in to watch like putting in a piece of classical music or looking at paintings. It is an amazing film. I am disappointed that we'll never see the other Batman films that Tim Burton might have created. I still remember barely being able to contain myself awaiting Batman Forever... I had no idea what was in store with that movie... I think that the only thing that made me not utterly hate Batman Forever was Jim Carey and I was so excited for his rise in films that I gave the film a huge pass I wouldn't otherwise have given it. But Batman Returns is for me like The Nightmare Before Christmas... it's a classic.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:38 p.m. CST

    Wow, Moriarty, your Batman Returns review...

    by antonphd

    I don't get tired of watching Batman Returns. It is a work of art. I can put it in to watch like putting in a piece of classical music or looking at paintings. It is an amazing film. I am disappointed that we'll never see the other Batman films that Tim Burton might have created. I still remember barely being able to contain myself awaiting Batman Forever... I had no idea what was in store with that movie... I think that the only thing that made me not utterly hate Batman Forever was Jim Carey and I was so excited for his rise in films that I gave the film a huge pass I wouldn't otherwise have given it. But Batman Returns is for me like The Nightmare Before Christmas... it's a classic.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:44 p.m. CST

    Unknown User

    by Slaphappy Slim

    You are insane. That is all.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Best part of Batman Returns

    by Slaphappy Slim

    Is Selina smashing a couple of letters off of a neon sign that says "Hello There" as she's undergoing her "transformation". Later, you see that the sign now reads "Hell here".

  • June 30, 2008, 8:49 p.m. CST

    I stopped at the spoiler warning after the long setup

    by darquelyte

    Did the "bank heist" prologue scene that aired before I Am Legend make it to the film? Is it one of the scenes that was filmed in IMAX?

  • June 30, 2008, 8:53 p.m. CST

    "Bat's 3"

    by Slaphappy Slim

    As in: The bat IS 3? The 3 things that the bat has? "Bat's 3", a kooky caper flick set in Vegas and co-starring Superman and Wonder Woman? Clooney as Batman, because then he could cameo as Danny Ocean?

  • June 30, 2008, 8:53 p.m. CST

    spoler alert- no really

    by zom-bot.com

    it's pretty much assumed now that this reese guy is set up to be the riddler in 3. don't bitch to me, because this has been discussed all over these boards, and there's a big red spoiler border out there. Two face is out of the picture. joker is put away and not likely to be recast. seriously, what else can they do in pt 3 with this nobody riddler dude? are they gonna drag the scarecrow back in for another cameo? at first i didn't like the idea of catwoman in pt 3, but i think after the darkness and loss of TDK, a very slow, strange new relationship with catwoman might be what bruce needs. only she doesn't love or know bruce, she's hot for batman. obsessive. she literally becomes a thief - (or was a good, stealthy thief but now wears a persona to attract attention) so that she can interact with batman, get caught, get close to him. and despite all reason and laws, bruce/bats likes the attention. he also finds himself being more batman than bruce as a result. meanwhile in the background, the riddler is doing something and poison ivy is an ecoterrorist who may have connections to catwoman.<P>fuck i don't know what they should do for 3.

  • June 30, 2008, 8:55 p.m. CST

    back to my catwoman idea-

    by zom-bot.com

    it's too bad that batman returns handled the bruce wayne/selena kyle relationship and discovery so well in that dance scene. i don't think that could be topped in a new catwoman story.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:12 p.m. CST

    agreed Zom-bot.com

    by Neil_the_Sheep

    I love that scene...it's one of my favorites in any movie...In Gladiator, when Maximus reveals to the Emperor that he's alive, I immediately thought of that scene in Batman Returns...haha..

  • June 30, 2008, 9:13 p.m. CST

    I hate FAMILY GUY too...

    by kirttrik

    ... it's racist, boring, and predictable... for all the wrong reasons.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:16 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I can undestand avoiding Robin, but avoiding Catwoman?

    by greenstyle92

    and giving Rachel? who compared to Selina Kyle or Talia or Andrea Beaumont is fairly weak sauce. But, maybe they aren't doing Catwoman because of the 2004 movie. I dunno.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:18 p.m. CST

    unknown user...

    by greenstyle92

    you mean JUST like the Incredibles?

  • June 30, 2008, 9:36 p.m. CST

    In favor of Robin

    by MrD

    Moreso in this film series than the Burton/Shumacher series. In the comics, they used the death of Todd-Robin to explore why Batman needed Robin, that it was Robin who kept him sane, kept his obsession from overwhelming him. Batman needs human positive contact, but he is emotionally crippled in that he has a hard time dealing with anyone not involved in his own crusade. More than any other character, Batman benefits from having such a large "family" of characters - Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, Gordon, Oracle, etc.

  • June 30, 2008, 9:52 p.m. CST

    not enough time

    by zom-bot.com

    i don't think there's enough time in one more (assumed to be final) movie to tackle the issues of robin and the bat family effectively. it'd be like bruce just adopting a kid after all this tragedy in TDK, training him, kid getting killed, bruce realizing how foolish it was, taking in batgirl, bat dog, batwoman, bat-mite, batzarro...when does it end?<P>by the by, BIZARRO in a new superman movie would be awesome. superman needs more sci-fi and less drama. bizarro and brainiac! SUCK IT DC!

  • June 30, 2008, 9:54 p.m. CST

    hmm, have I lived up to my talk back name?

    by greenstyle92

    I like to think I have style, even if you disagree. I defend Batman Returns, so that satisfies the "92" (Ninety-two is NOT the year I was born. I was 8 years old that year though.) but "green?" I don't think I've said or done anything particularly green, so I suppose I'd have to work on that. Maybe I need to buy a hybrid? or a Green Lantern comic?

  • June 30, 2008, 10 p.m. CST

    Well, the reason Bruce brought in Robin in TAS

    by greenstyle92

    which is my favorite telling- was a very selfish reason. Bruce saw Dick's parents murdered by a criminal. Bruce instantly projected himself onto Dick. And Bruce never figured out who his parent's killer was. So he brings Dick into the house on the auspices of giving him a home, but really Bruce is just co-opting Dick's pain. By bringing Dick's parent's murderer to justice, it would be a catharsis for Bruce's own failings with his parents murderer. However... Bruce ignores Dick totally. Pawns him off on Alfred. And Dick grows very resentful of Bruce. Bruce, in sense, is stealing Dick's revenge. And how sweet would that be in a Nolan movie? would it show that Bruce has learned anything? Bruce went down his path in Begins in large part because he was denied the opportunity to kill his parents killer himself. If Bruce were to co-opt Dick's pain, would he kill Dick's parents killer? and how would Dick feel about that?

  • June 30, 2008, 10:01 p.m. CST

    And as a compromise in Nolan's universe...

    by greenstyle92

    It would be acceptable to bring in Dick Grayson but have him go straight to Nightwing instead of Robin. It's not how I would prefer it, but Nightwing has a darker costume and fans seem to prefer Dick as Nightwing anyway...

  • June 30, 2008, 10:02 p.m. CST

    sounds good

    by Mr_X

    nice reviews of both mori

  • June 30, 2008, 10:08 p.m. CST

    Yackbacker

    by Slaphappy Slim

    Jesus, Chewtoy's gotta's stake out an ideological territory, otherwise he's waffling like a politician and "wasting our time"? Get over yourself and find some perspective.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    those things load SLOWWWW

    by zom-bot.com

    what the hell dominoes. make these clips like your pizzas, 30 mins or less plz.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:19 p.m. CST

    oh shit- the clips are slow because-

    by zom-bot.com

    YOU HAVE TO ORDER A PIZZA TO SEE THEM. okay this campaign just turned retarded.

  • June 30, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    Please keep this talkback alive...

    by CarmillaVonDoom

    until I can actually read it and the review!! ☺ MUST...AVOID...SPOILERS...ARRGH!!!!

  • June 30, 2008, 10:29 p.m. CST

    ok: Is Batman a Grower or a Show-er?

    by greenstyle92

    I'd argue that Keaton's Batman was a Grower but Bale's is a Show-er. Chew on that one! Infact, I'd like to see both Michelle Pfeifer and Katie Holmes chew on that one...

  • June 30, 2008, 10:36 p.m. CST

    yup dominoes froze my mac

    by zom-bot.com

    had to force quit and restart mozilla, was treated to a window that said i had to order a pizza to view the content. also tried the joker card game, lost of course, have to wait 24 hours to play again. yayyyyyy that site is awesome fun!

  • June 30, 2008, 11 p.m. CST

    Yin and Yang

    by Messyjoe

    The fans of the two movies mix like molasses and yogurt; only reluctantly. These directors have in common an attention to detail, similar to Peter Jackson. That normally means we appreciate the results. I read all these comments, and I hope these passionate readers will not be disappointed. However when I read about the Troll Market in the production logs of H2, that it was a 'functioning' market even if a shop was just walked in front of, the inside was a fully realized store in each case, such dedication to realism reminds me of LOTR, and 'not' the cantina scene in Star wars which was a 'cartoon' in comparison!

  • June 30, 2008, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Tempted, but I'll skip reading Moriarty's SPOILERS...

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    I've ruined too many good movies for myself by peeking too much. Here's hoping both films will be impressive.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:34 a.m. CST

    maybe if robin is portrayed like a dexter

    by thareign23

    type character?? A kid whos family who is killed by a batman villain two face perhaps ? Bruce blames himself takes in the kid. He realizes the kid is secretly going out at night. Or fighting at school . Rather than lose him to the street Bruce has him trained and turns his anger into a tool ala Jason Todd. This could splinter Bruce and jim and Bruce and Alfred who raise the logical complaints about taking a kid out to fight. Until robin proves himself and saves the city.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:55 a.m. CST

    Why is it that most people here...

    by drompter

    feel the stupid need to take sides with one film and bash or talk crap about the other whenever two films of similar genres are in the way? Why can't you simply settle to enjoy both? This in response to some comments above.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:32 a.m. CST

    MORT!!

    by brattyben

    I just read your post here, and your review of "Batman Returns." One of my favorite stories of Bats captured on celluloid. You are without a doubt one of the better, if not the best writer on this site. I really enjoy reading your work. I loved this review too, and am a bit mad at myself for reading the spoilers, although, I did see the surprise of the prisoner coming, (but, only because you probably set it up that way) I really wanted to state how I agree with you 200% on your assessment of Returns. The whole movie and it's characters have a duality, and a reflectiveness. I always felt that everyone in the movie is not really showing who they are in public. They all have another side that no one really knows about. I did not however pick up on the fact that all the characters are reflective of Bruce Wayne. Very cool pick up there. And your review of TDK had put my excitedness through the ROOF. This movie can't get here fast enough. And I'm gunning for an IMAX viewing. Why not watch it the way the director intended, right?

  • July 1, 2008, 2:28 a.m. CST

    Be Empowered

    by OCMC the Magazine

    We are a committed to the empowerment of urban youths 15 to 24 to make informed decisions regarding all of their entertainment needs. Moriarty supports the free market ideal. Visit ocmcmagazine.vze.com or myspace.com/ocmc and let us know what you think.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:31 a.m. CST

    Where are your other 90s reviews (93-99), Moriarty?

    by PacmanFever

    If they exist. I can't find them and would very much like to read them please.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:39 a.m. CST

    Dominos? Fuck that shit! CINNABON!

    by Iowa Snot Client

    I see mighty Cinnabon scored the lucrative Love Guru marketing tie-in. Cinnabon plus Love Guru equals CASH MONEY, be-otch.

  • July 1, 2008, 6:28 a.m. CST

    UnknownUser

    by DocPazuzu

    To paraphrase the great Jack Burton: are you insane? Is that your problem? <p> If not, and that was simply an awesome display of fanboy bait performance art, then I salute you, sir.

  • July 1, 2008, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Mori

    by DocPazuzu

    Sorry I'm late with the kudos, but that was a great piece. Reminds me why AICN isn't only about talkback.

  • July 1, 2008, 7:25 a.m. CST

    Memories

    by Lost Jarv

    If you were to live up to your handle, you'd have to be "PretentiousCunt"

  • July 1, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Is the editing of TDK as bad as the one of Batman Begins?

    by DanteS2005

    The editing of BB was utterly bad. It pissed me off from scene one of the movie. A Michael Bay film is edited a thousand times better...

  • July 1, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Dang. I really want to continue reading...but I just can't.

    by JDanielP

    Great read from what little I did read. But I must try to avoid spoilers. And sounds like I-MAX is worth the trip, even when one has to travel quite a distance.

  • July 1, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by just pillow talk

    Here's a good one for you.<p>M-O-M thinks Smokin Aces is a good movie.<p>I shit you not.

  • July 1, 2008, 8:27 a.m. CST

    I love Batman Returns

    by David Cloverfield

    I hope Dark Knight can top it, we'll see. Also, while Batman Forever mostly sucked, Robin kind of worked in it. He can be done in a serious movie.

  • July 1, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    A Michael Bay film is edited a thousand times better...

    by Iowa Snot Client

    Ouch... or if not a thousand times better, at least a million times more.

  • July 1, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    just pillow talk

    by DocPazuzu

    But if Smokin' Aces had been directed by J J Abrams he would have called it the worst movie ever made, right after "Bayformers".

  • July 1, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    "Smokin Abrams"

    by just pillow talk

    You're absolutely right Doc.

  • July 1, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    I think some people just come on here to be contrarians

    by toadkillerdog

    It gets them noticed. Agreeing with the maority - regardless of whether the majority is correct, will not get you any response. I think people like M-O-M, and the Jeff Albertson character, and plenty others, just want attention.<p> Or, they are simply the lowest of trolls who hate everything decent.

  • July 1, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    while others come here to become

    by just pillow talk

    better warciples, to further their knowledge of the dark side. And to boast of the shitheels and infidels that have been smote.

  • July 1, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Speaking of contrarians...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...check out the Godfather haters in the Blu-ray talkback. <p> Holy shit...

  • July 1, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by toadkillerdog

    Smoting is good!

  • July 1, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Godfather haters?

    by Lost Jarv

    Fuck me with an epileptic porcupine. Really? <P>I hate Smoking Aces, so I don't mind him ruining that one. Now that he has wrecked Lifeforce for me. Honestly, I watched it last night, and came to the conclusion that it was nowhere near as brilliant as I remembered. <P>Little Portuguese turd ruined it for me.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    read that review Crabman

    by just pillow talk

    It's got me all in a tizzy I tell ya. I did read the same reviewer's take on Indy 4, so I feel pretty good about his review.<p>Godfather haters? <p>First Orcus uses the first person, and now this? Surely it is the end of times....

  • July 1, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    I just read some of the posts on Godfather TB

    by toadkillerdog

    It is true Pillow, the End of Times approcheth!

  • July 1, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    That GODFATHER TB...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...my God!<P>I summon all Warciples...and demand that you unleash your Pencil Jihad!!!

  • July 1, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    GODFATHER 1&2 Are Great, But GOODFELLAS Pwns Them

    by LaserPants

    Godfather is the romanticized mob, Goodfellas is the REAL mob. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    I love Godfather 1 and 2 and Goodfellas

    by Lost Jarv

    So don't feel a need to find a pecking order for them. I own all three on DVD so I haven't got a priority order for buying. <P>I can't believe that thread. Fuck Me.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Goodfellas is a masterpiece

    by Lost Jarv

    Yup. It is. Just for the use of the piano track from Layla, which is one of the best pieces of scoring ever.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Danny boy...

    by just pillow talk

    I love all three films too. <p>The Departed is merely okay though.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Over-Identify With Your Entertainment Choices Much, Dickblood?

    by LaserPants

    It always cracks me up how insane some of you get about your movies. RELAX. You disagree with my opinion? Try expressing that without being a raging asshole about it. You'd be surprised how much you can learn when you listen and post thoughtful comments rather than react like a retarded 10 year old with anger control issues. <br><br>Btw, its more than a little interesting that you're keeping such close tabs on me. Although I am somewhat flattered by the creepy obsessive adoration, I'm really just not interested. I'll fuck my girlfriend instead, thanks.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    GODFATHER 1&2 And GOODFELLAS Are Masterpieces, True

    by LaserPants

    But, in my opinion (calm down Dickblood, calm down, its just an opinion, relax) GOODFELLAS is much better. Its grittier, more realistic. GODFATHER is an idealized romantic portrait of the mob. Its an amazing movie (1&2, that is), but it doesn't hit me as hard as GOODFELLAS which I straight up love.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    People who don

    by fiester

  • July 1, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    "BEST BUY Makes You An Offer You Can't Refuse!"

    by LaserPants

    "The entire GODFATHER trilogy -- the two good movies AND the really shitty one -- can now be yours on Blu-Ray. What, you can't afford a PS3 yet? Well, don't you worry about it little paizan! once the price drops to about $300 around XMas time, you won't be able to resist this offer you can't refuse! The entire GODFATHER SAGA for the low low price of $75! Get ready to buy it again when the next wave of market squeezing technology is released! Hahaha! We pwn you!!! HAHAHAH!!! MWOOOO HA HA HA HA HA!!! "<br><br> That should be the advertisment.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Oops

    by LaserPants

    I meant to post that in the Godfather thread, sorry. I hope Dickblood isn't too upset.

  • July 1, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Goodfellas is great, but The Departed is a fucking joke

    by The Octagoner

    About halfway through The Departed I realized I was watching a comedy, then it became slightly more enjoyable.

  • July 1, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Agent Johnson RE; Mythology

    by TheLastCleric

    With all due respect, your definition of mythology is incredibly narrow and not particularly academic nor widely embraced. Even assuming your definition was entirely correct, I disagree that the mythology found in comic books isn’t shared throughout society. As a point of fact, everybody, including people from other nations, knows who Superman and Batman are. They can identify with the characters and relate to their values, which include universal traits of courage, heroism, strength, friendship etc. It’s also worth noting that the term Superman has become part of our vernacular to describe a person of immense ability in various endeavors. Comic book icons are a recognizable and relevant part of our society and people watch the films and read the books because of the values and messages they extol. I’m also not sure where you got the notion that mythology is exclusively about humanity’s origin, which is simply untrue. Something like Beowulf does nothing to explain the origins of humans but is rather the tale of a great, proud and brave hero fighting impossible odds and persevering. Beowulf was to the Norse people what Superman and Iron Man is to contemporary Americans: an entertaining story about an unflinching hero. Lastly, your claim that comics are “children’s pop fiction” is nothing but banal, intellectual snobbery. You claim that these comic characters have no deeper meaning to our civilization even though the Death of Superman was front page news when DC ran the issue and the more recent death of Captain America also made headlines. Truth be told, it’s impossible to predict what pop culture will become embedded within society but given how long characters like Superman and Batman have been around, I think it’s safe to assume they are a permanent fixture. You seem to dismiss the medium of comics outright as children’s stuff but that position doesn’t carry much weight when you consider the work of people like Alex Ross, Garth Ennis, and Alan Moore.

  • July 1, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    Going to try to lighten the mood here

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    By wishing a Happy Canada Day to any of our TBers in the Great White North. I wish I had some Sleeman to drink in honor of this momentous day.<p>The Godfather rules.

  • July 1, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    HOD

    by toadkillerdog

    I too wish Happy Canada day to all Canadians, and everyone on earth! <p> I watch Tom Yum Goong for the first time! Holy shit! Jaa truly hates human bones. Rib cages and arms in particular. If I was an orthopedic surgeon living near Jaa storm, I would be a billionaire after all the limbs I replaced. <p> I counted 87,312 broken ribs, 42,347 broken left arms, 38,382 broken right arms, 12,375 broken left legs, 12,235 broken right legs. And three broken teeth.

  • July 1, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Hawaiian

    by just pillow talk

    Netflix has informed me that they are shipping Dragon Tiger Gate today. <p>Donnie has much to teach me.

  • July 1, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    TKD & JPT

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    1) TKD - Only getting to Tom Yum Goong now? Better late than never. The scene with all those stooges running into the room to have their spines readjusted is only one-upped by the one-take staircase scene. If you think TYG is good, you'll also go coco puffs looney over Chocolate.<p>2)JPT - I feel like a ****heel for not warning you about Dragon Tiger Gate. That movie is just a mess. Donnie does the best he can but they gave him nothing to work with. Like Flash Point, the story is muddled but unlike Flash Point, it doesn't have a redeeming third act. Dragon Dynasty has added Invisible Target to their collection so put that in your queue as well and maybe you'll have it for the long weekend.<p>I took Thursday off for the sole purpose of having the house to myself so I could watch nothing but Asian violence. I'll give the Warciples my reviews next week of whatever is I end up watching.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    HOD

    by toadkillerdog

    I am shamed and ashamed by my lack of asian movie knowledge. I have all of the Bruce Lee movies, some Jackie Chan and some that I remember fondly from childhood - like the Five Fingers of Death, but sadly other than Ong Bak, the Protector is my only recent purchase.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    *sigh*

    by Lost Jarv

    I wish I could do that.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Good afternoon, Danny

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    How goes it?<p>Sorry you feel so strongly about Goodfellas. But I thought Crash and Million $$$ Baby were two of the worst movies ever made and not only were they critical darlings but they both won Best Picture so opinions can't be explained or reasoned.<p>I also want to add that I'm buying a bottle of Cruzan rum to drink on Thursday and I plan on cracking the seal for breakfast.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    You'll be there in spirit, Jarv

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I haven't had a vacation in four years so I figured I'd take an extra day off for the Fourth of July weekend and try to decompress.<p>How's that Spain victory sitting with you?

  • July 1, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Oh, fuck off you little shit.

    by Lost Jarv

  • July 1, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    HOD

    by toadkillerdog

    Might I suggest that you start off the morning with a painkiller? The Cruzan, mixed with Coco Lopez, Pineaapple and Orange juice, and topped with nutmeg. It will make a seemless transition into the pure stuff later in the day, and allow you to - somewhat sober, until the main event

  • July 1, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Speaking of Russian films

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Is it worth my time to seek out the Russian versions of Night Watch and Day Watch? Are they a marked improvement? Sadly, next to Solaris and Russian Ark, they are the only films out of Russia I've seen.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    I saw Battleship Potemkin in High School

    by toadkillerdog

    Does that count?

  • July 1, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    In fact.

    by Lost Jarv

    I was going to leave it with telling you to fuck off. But I've changed my mind. <p>The reason you supporting Lifeforce ruins the movie for me is that you have an utterly arbitrary sense of quality coupled with a complete lack of irony and total failure to understand what makes a guilty pleasure. Therefore, if you are supporting Lifeforce as one of your "guilty pleasure" this leads me to one of 3 conclusions- <P>1) You like it because Dan O'Bannon wrote it, and Tobe Hooper Directed it. Both meet your nebulous definition of talent. Therefore both can be excused an obvious stinker. <p>2)It must actually have some quality in it, And I'm pretty certain it doesn't <P>3)You've picked it because you know it is popular and has a suitable cache for you to go slumming with.<P>If I had to pick a reason- I'll go with number 3. Number 3 hits your dirty, hypocritical, condescending shitweasel excuse for a personality right fucking on. <P>Knowing that you have picked it, therefore ruins the whole bad movie experience for me. <p>So fuck off.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:47 a.m. CST

    and Smokin Aces is TERRIBLE

    by Lost Jarv

    but the reason you like it reveals itself- You think the director has "talent". Why can you not assess a film on it's own individual merits?

  • July 1, 2008, 11:50 a.m. CST

    I'm not sure my city can afford fireworks this year

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I heard yesterday that fireworks have gone up 20% due to rising fuel costs. If that's the case, I'll just substitute the snap, crackle, pop display with some FLAMING LEG KICKS, a glass or six of Talisker and a Cohiba. And then see if I can't get my wife to not have a headache and light up the bedroom so I can wake up the following morning and pull the bedsheets out of my crack.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Battleship Potemkin?

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Did I see that? I can't remember.<p>I was sitting on the fence with Smokin' Aces until the elevator scene where the three skinheads charged out with chainsaws and killed the MULTITUDE of guys with guns. From a "how can you f-up shooting fish in a barrel" moment, it was infinitely worse than the Rebel dunderheads at the beginning of Star Wars. After that scene, the movie became worthless.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Why I watch Superhero movies...

    by Halloween68

    Wow. I think you been taking too much film theory and writing too many of these "reviews" / essays. For me, and I imagine it's this way for most folks, a superhero film is another form of escapism. Similar to fantasy and sci fi. It's investing into a character, getting into their skin and trying to experience what it's like to be able to do the things they do. Isn't that the reason people read comic books? I know I grew up reading Superman, Spiderman, Batman, The Hulk, The Flash and Wolverine because I wanted to imagine what it would be like to be them. I could care less what it meant to society on a subliminal level. That's also the reason I fell in love with my first truly great superhero movie, Richard Donner's SUPERMAN. I mean didn't everybody imagine flying around the house and yard tossing cars, refrigerators, buildings and everything else that got in your way? All this to that great uplifting score by John Williams. If you grew up wondering what the subtext to it all is, eeeee... Not sure we would have been able to communicate as kids. All this said, good to know the word is good on these two. I hope I enjoy them as much as you did.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:59 a.m. CST

    I enjoyed Smokin Aces

    by Series7

    For what it was, Snatch 2. Though M-o-M is right its a big step down from Narc. Way too many people were casted into Smokin. It was like they had all these ideas for bad asses, but didn't really enough up. Or it was all just a big set up with not exposition or prolog. Not a terrible movie, just kind of all over the place. Also whats the deal with Common? Is he a person? Every movie he's in, he just stands around and sometimes mumbles something to the main bad guy? I am not sure if he even moves?

  • July 1, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    True, manners cost nothing

    by Lost Jarv

    Something you should observe. <P>Does it never make you wonder why so many people react badly to you? <P>Quality in Lifeforce? Where? Lifeforce is a gloriously stupid mess enlivened by Ms May's knockers. It's poorly written, horrible directed tosh. And I used to think it was wonderful, but you and your vile hypocrisy and loathsome condescension ruined it.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    You don't crave attention.

    by Lost Jarv

    This is true. <P>You just take every opportunity to indulge your TB onanism by trying to prove with trollish tomes how much smarter than us you are. <P>Trust me, you're not.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Common= Alien

    by Lost Jarv

    seriously. It's like choosing Ford Prefect as a name. <P>He's really composing an article on earth for some tourist's travel journal for the universe. I think.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST

    "I never cease to suprise me"

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    We used to smarter.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    "A movie like Narc doesn't happen by chance"

    by Lost Jarv

    So, by that rationale, PWS Anderwank is a good director because of Event Horizon and Shopping. <P>Twat.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder

    by toadkillerdog

    I actually beleive you when you say you are not a contrarian. I think you have strong - and wrong, opinions about some things - to the point where you become obnoxious and condescending to differing views and people. But I do think they are your truly felt beliefs. However, you do crave attention, otherwise, you would not post such long winded diatribes and defenses, and counter arguments. I admire the speed with which you type, if not always the content, and for someone who does not speak English as a first language, you do very well in getting your beliefs across. I just happen to differ with most of a few of them though. The Contrarian post was not aimed at you though.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    TKD

    by Lost Jarv

    That last post was a complete waste. He either doesn't think he's being a shit or he doesn't care.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Nothing beats fail like Try

    by toadkillerdog

    Sometimes you just gotta try!

  • July 1, 2008, 12:19 p.m. CST

    So, wading through that last post of waffle

    by Lost Jarv

    this is what I got: <P>"I'm fucking clever. What I say is quality and intelligence is the empirical standard. Things piss me off when I deem them to be stupid. Ambition is good. I'm a smug twat. Blah, blah, blah. I don't care that I'm a condescending fuckweasel with the personality of a traffic warden."

  • July 1, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Rickey's late to the party, but...

    by Rickey Henderson

    ...goddamned if Moriarity didn't make Rickey want to see TDK even more with his review. It's about damned time we got a movie that doesn't pander to the masses. Viva la Nolan.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:22 p.m. CST

    What I don't get about you though

    by Lost Jarv

    and I really don't understand this: <P>How on earth can you perform the quite staggering mental gymanstics to defend utter shit like Halloween remake or Smokin' Aces when you (rightly)despise Anderwank. You absolutely slaughter "hack" directors and movies, but if it is one of your pets then you will always, and I mean always find an excuse for their hackery. <P>It's simply mindblowing hypocrisy- but you are so intellectually dishonest that you will not answer queries that defeat your central hypothesis. This would be fine, but you never, ever reconsider your original theory.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST

    and that answer

    by Lost Jarv

    was both fallacious and facetious. <P>See- you have avoided the question.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    "Entertaiment is no justification for stupidity."

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Bullshit! People are entertained by stupidity all the freakin' time. Just look at any random AICN Talkback for crying out loud. You put way too much effort into attacking people's personal tastes, M-O-M. You consistently question their perceived judgments on quality while simultaneously excusing your own based when it suits you. It's the bottom line on what Jarv, DocPaz, toadkiller, myself, and dozens of others have tried to tell you over and over again:<P>If you're going to brow-beat someone because of their opinions or taste in film/entertainment, then you better get ready for them to respond in kind.<P>Quit trying to martyr yourself. It's beyond tiresome at this point.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Complete crap.

    by Lost Jarv

    Nobody, (I know there are exceptions to this) purposfully sets out to make crap. It just happens. Luck plays a part in the correct people being available. You can prepare as much as you like, but luck is important. <P>You are playing with the intentional fallacy here- what an artist intended is not relevant when looking at the final product. For all we know, Boll may intend to have made Citizen Kane when he made Alone in the Dark. It doesn't make AITD any better.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    OMG I'm going to COME

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and see TDK when it opens at my local theater.<p> Warciples ride!

  • July 1, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    RE: Agent Johnson

    by TheLastCleric

    That definition is okay but even within the parameters of that definition it doesn’t expressly state that mythology must be rooted in the origins of man and gods but rather suggests that it often is. There is a pretty large gulf between observing that myth often follows certain criteria and actually stating emphatically that mythology must adhere to those criteria to be considered as such, which simply isn’t true. It may be true that much of the mythology that has survived was an explanation of things like creation and humanity but that isn’t always the case so again, your definition is simply too narrow. Greek mythology is but one type of mythology. Mythology like Robin Hood, Beowulf, the Arthurian Legend, and more recent offerings like Tolkien’s work all fall under the category of mythology, as do the Star Wars films. Mythology is an inherently broad term so I’m not really sure why you seem so dedicated to trying to narrow the application of the terminology in a way that no reputable professor would agree with. The concepts I’m sharing here aren’t even my own; I’m simply regurgitating the ideas of men like Joseph Campbell who would most certainly consider your definition of mythology to be fallacious. That said, I do see your point about comparing superheroes to Greek god, though to be fair to Mori, those comparisons aren’t without merit. The most enduring and transcendent aspects of myth are those universal characteristics of the heroes that continue to be shared among all societies, which is why examining myth can be so intriguing. As for comics, regardless of their humble origins, they have evolved into something considerably more than child’s play. Most artistic mediums began simply (film certainly did) and evolved from that point into something more profound and in possession of artistic merit so I don’t think the origin of comic books in any way de-values what the medium has become. Further evidence of this would be Time magazine including a comic book on their list of the 100 best books of all time. And please don’t take all of this as me trying to lecture you or be an arrogant prick; I just really disagree with your narrow view on what constitutes mythology.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian

    by just pillow talk

    So be it.<p>I'd already had Flash Point and Invisible Target on the queue.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Fred wants to know what is warciple?

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    Fred too is ver ver excited about The Dark Knight. Fred can't wait. It might even be better than Meet Dave.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Success and accolades of shopping?

    by Lost Jarv

    That is the dumbest thing you've ever written. Shopping was a British indie effort that no bugger saw, made no money and was greeted with massive critical indifference. The fact that it is his best film is not the point. <P>And I know it was a joke because you don't have an answer. My point is, perhaps you should change your theory?

  • July 1, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Lifeforce

    by PacmanFever

    Say what you will about that film but you certainly wont see it's plot anywhere else! (Probably with good reason, but still...) It reminds me a little of Prince of Darkness, which is better

  • July 1, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Fred say he respectfully disagree with Lost Jarv about crap

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    Fred say, some directors make crap intentionally. Epic movie was crap. Scary movies were crap. Producer and directors must have known they were making crap and decided to hell with it, just stoopid kidz who will pay to see crap so give them crap!

  • July 1, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Hypothesis is a posh word for theory

    by Lost Jarv

    stop being a cunt. You knew that.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Fred

    by Abominable Snowcone

    A Warciple is a member of the Church of Chang (see the movie "Tremors" for reference). We espouse comprehensive, brutal manliness in heart, body and mind and celebrate its depiction onscreen. Famous Changian icons include--but are not limited to--John Wayne, Sly Stallone, Arnold, Tony Jaa, Fred Ward, Kurt Fucking Russell, Bruce Campbell, Sean Connery, etc. Warciples can be chivalrous, as we admire and respect women, but we spent most of our time delivering flaming leg kicks (FLKs) to nonbelieving shitheels, and ours is the constant campaign of pencil jihad (see old TBs of 2for2true). Come, join us. Get your "Tremors Attack Pack" today at amazon.com and have your mind awakened

  • July 1, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    I knew this would happen

    by Lost Jarv

    Crap on purpose: <P>Troma<P>DTV<P>Leprechaun and most other shlock <P>Cynical dreck like meet the spartans. <P>The point is, outside of music industry inspired cynicism and deliberate garbage aimed at a cult audience (please bear in mind that I love troma and lep), all the directors you term "hack" are not intending to make rubbish.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    I don't know when the last time you guys saw

    by Series7

    Shopping was. But, its not that good. Neither is Event Horizon. I've watched them both in the past year and yeah, the best thing about Shopping was the Soundtrack. Even Horizon did not age well at all. And all of his movies have the same feel and tone. The one thing I will say for P. Anderson is that if he was making these movies in the 80's, we'd have a much different opion of him. All of his movies play and feel like cheesy 80's action stuff. I need to go back and watch Solider and Mortal Kombat. I'd say that Resident Evil is his best work, but I haven't seen it in like 3 years. Yeah its not like the game big whoop, is kind of like a stepping stone between Resident Evil 1 and 2. I think Anderson just gets shit on because of AVP, which he rightfully deserves. But something tells me that none of his movies will stand the test of time. Just like most 80's movies, you'll go back and watch them and be like...man that was pretty bad.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Oh, Fred already true beleiver then. Fred LOVE Tremors

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    Fred fight motherhumpers all the time in Fred's own backyard!

  • July 1, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Flash Point

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Pillow, just don't get angry with me when you put in Flash Point and want to turn it off after 10 minutes. Remember, it took me 4 attempts over 3 months to get through the entire thing. The final fight at the end doesn't excuse the first two-thirds but it comes close.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Resident Evil is shockingly bad

    by Lost Jarv

    Amnesia. Seriously.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    and I haven't seen shopping for 10 years

    by Lost Jarv

    about the same with EH.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Fred, for further reference into warcipls...

    by just pillow talk

    Please see the very first thread that we spotted our lord, 2for2true, in...<p>http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/35294#comment_1848549

  • July 1, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Now Fred knows what Chang mean

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    Tremors 3! Bad movie, but funny. Fred likes Burt, even though his name not Fred.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:49 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian, as a proud founding member of

    by just pillow talk

    CoC, I'm confident that this is necessary to further my training in banishing shitheels and such.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    I'm tempted.

    by Lost Jarv

    But really, amnesia?

  • July 1, 2008, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Brother pillow

    by Abominable Snowcone

    always quick with the sacred link to 2true...<p> Also, although I do not doubt Fred's sincerity (he knows the gummerspeak of "motherhumper") I feel that watching a couple episodes of metalocalypse might be in order

  • July 1, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Fred feels lost

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    Fred not know what a metalocalypse is. Is Burt in that?

  • July 1, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    with that bombshell

    by Lost Jarv

    Memories proving he's a humourless cunt. I'm outta here.

  • July 1, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    and Fred could always do with catching the

    by Lost Jarv

    sacred Kurt films, and the mighty Leprechaun saga- making sure to pay special attention to Lep in Da Hood.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    The sentence is

    by Lost Jarv

    "And Had I Seen All His Movies" <P>Unless it was a freudian slip and you've just outed yourself.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Brother Abom

    by just pillow talk

    I think I may have to copy and paste your apt description of what the waricples stand and who they are.<p>May you impale many a shitheel on the fourth...

  • July 1, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Fred not friendly with Leprachauns ever since

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    That unfortunate incident with the football and the tree shredder. It was getting dark, Fred really thought it was football Fred was kicking.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST

    Want to get rid of M-O-M, kids?

    by DocPazuzu

    Here's how it's done: <p> It's all about asking him the right questions. An ego can be a powerful tool if manipulated with the right skill. Since M-O-M will never concede an argument because of his inflated ego, and will simply refuse to answer difficult questions put to him, either because he has no answer or because the answer would be so uncomfortable that he'd rather flee, it's just a matter of finding the right subject matter. <p> My favorite, which I've been hounding him with in several talkbacks, is: <p> "Say, M-O-M, has it ever crossed your mind, even for an instant, that the reason so many people dislike you in here is because of the way you state your opinions and your views on other people's tastes? Or do you really think that you are a Portuguese Cinema God whose genius is simply misunderstood by the horde of idiots in AICN talkback?" <p> So far he hasn't answered. In fact, he can have spent DAYS sullying a talkback with long, boring and empty tracts on his brilliant taste, but as soon as I ask him that question -- POOF! -- he's gone. <p> Good luck, kids!

  • July 1, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    shit.

    by Lost Jarv

    I forgot Top Gear is translated into Portuguese. <P>That was stupid.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    This July 4th, shitheels will be set free...

    by Abominable Snowcone

    ...from their lives

  • July 1, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    This July 4th, freedom shall ring...

    by Abominable Snowcone

    vis-a-vis the hospital emergency room heartrate monitors as they flatline

  • July 1, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    This July 4th, the rockets shall glare

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in the eye sockets of nonbelievers

  • July 1, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Abom

    by toadkillerdog

    I just read your description of a warciple. Great! <p> Fred, that was too funny, about the leprachaun!

  • July 1, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    This July 4th, the parade is dark...

    by Abominable Snowcone

    with the solitary parade float belonging to Death, and featuring the impaled rotting corpses of disemboweled pencil-cushions

  • July 1, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Don't Node Out Abom!

    by toadkillerdog

    Heh Heh just kidding.<p> All Shitheels must pay.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    TKD, I had it already written down

    by Abominable Snowcone

    on my heart. Coincidentally, the words are also carved on my arms. That was a beautiful day with the bowie knife, I tell you

  • July 1, 2008, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Toadkillerdog

    by Freds_Balls_in_a_Mason_Jar

    Fred say thank you.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:27 p.m. CST

    This July 4th, Independence comes...

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in the form of shitheels being liberated from their corporal manifestations of being on earth. Oh say can you see...them die

  • July 1, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Abom

    by toadkillerdog

    You are a true Warciple!

  • July 1, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    I've perfected my FLAMING LEG KICK

    by just pillow talk

    to leave my initials (JPT) burned into their chest. I'm working on the "with love," to burn in front of JPT.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Pillow

    by toadkillerdog

    That is just awesome man! I am still in the early stages of having my MRV mechanical pencil of leaden death from above, able to split into multiple warheads and spell shitheel on the smoldering carcass of the smited foe!

  • July 1, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Some talkbackers aren't looking for anything logical

    by Rickey Henderson

    Some men just want to watch the world burn.<br> <br> It's official: Rickey has no idea what any of you fuckers are talking about. Get coherent goddamnit!

  • July 1, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    by Jason B. Swaim

    So, um, The Dark Knight.... <p> Good stuff?

  • July 1, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Rickey

    by toadkillerdog

    Stop trying to be logical, it makes my head hurt.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    just so you know toad...

    by just pillow talk

    The CoC has a very top-notch R&D department that is on the cutting edge for developing new technology in the "#2 pencil weaponry division".

  • July 1, 2008, 1:52 p.m. CST

    Pillow

    by toadkillerdog

    I never would have suspected any less from the CoC.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Rickey

    by toadkillerdog

    Discussing reviews - even if they are great -and I have refused to read the entire review for fear of spoilers, of movies we have not seen, is pointless. Much better to talk about subjects that do not contain spoilers. I will read the review after the movies.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    we own Area 51

    by just pillow talk

    There are no aliens, just the Holy Trinity when they meet for poker night.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    I by-passed the whole review as well

    by just pillow talk

    I want to witness this movie without anymore knowledge about it.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    When did I call for your banning? I merely pointed out that you always vanish from a talkback when asked questions you can't or won't answer. <p> My post was merely advice for other talkbackers who are tired of: <p> a) being treated like shit by you. <p> b) your sanctimonious and pretentious babbling. <p> Oh, and thank you for once again proving my point by ignoring everything relevant in my post.

  • July 1, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    About Batman Returns

    by Sir Mad

    Mori after reading that it was your favorite Batman movie I really would like to know why? Could you post the link to your review, cuz I tried searching for it but can't find it on the site. P.s. really looking forward to The Dark Knight. Probably, after this movie releases we'll have some fans calling him the best director ever!

  • July 1, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Such pointless rhetoric for such a simple medium.

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Wow some of you, wow that's all I can say. Movies are a form of entertainment no more no less. Yes sometimes a film may inspire, or create a intense emotional response of some kind but they are made with one of a few basic ulterior motives. The most prevelant is to make money. Yes that's right big box office blockbuster baby. That's the goal, that's the reason the film was made. The treatment, the script, the production, the distribution all with the expressed goal of making money. If someone loves the film and it changes their life well good for them that means they'll see it more than once and buy merchandise tied to it and then purchase it when it comes out on DVD making the studios even more money. Another reason is to get a message out to as many people as possible. To push an agenda, to inform the masses of your views. Third would be accolades from you peers. Movies such as Transamerica and Crash didn't really do that much box office yet they are remembered and considered a success because of Oscar consideration however when that happens the directors, actors, and such are more likely to be considered for more roles in bigger movies with the idea from the studios being quality talent will lead to, say it with me film fans, more money. I love the summer movie season, and I have July 18th marked in ink on my calendar but reading all these arguements of heroes vs mythology and the childish name calling makes me just laugh. It's pathetic. Truly pathetic.

  • July 1, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    By the way, M-O-M...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...Still want to deny being from Portugal? Last week you let slip the "Ç" and now it's the "Ã". <p> Seriously, we all know you're the former BladeRunnerUnit so just admit it so we can move on.

  • July 1, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    By the way

    by Geekhaterssuck

    M-O-M I was thinking mainly of you in my above post.

  • July 1, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    toadkillerdog

    by Rickey Henderson

    Yeah, other than the stuff that the trailers give away, Rickey's maintained radio silence concerning the spoilers as well. One minor gripe so far: Rickey aint exactly a fan of the new bat cave. Is construction really taking that long at Wayne Manor? And when do we get to see the giant penny and huge dinosaur? Although in the Nolan-verse, they might be reduced to a small lizzard and some pocket change that Alfred accidentally drops.

  • July 1, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Small lizard and pocket change

    by toadkillerdog

    Rickey, that cracked me up! <p> Yes, I am staying away from all reviews.

  • July 1, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    Rickey

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Haven't seen the movie yet but the temporary batcave does seem a little week from what I've seen. As far as construction at Wayne Manor he did say he was going to put it back as it was brick by brick recreating a manor that predates the Civil War can't be easy. Beside he probably would not move back in until the new batcave was finished was everything he needed to do the work properly. Just a guess on my part but logical don't you think?

  • July 1, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    by Jason B. Swaim

    So, um, Hellboy... Good stuff?

  • July 1, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    Long

    by FILMFUNK

    <B>and full of shit!<B>

  • July 1, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Geekhaterssuck

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Exactly. It pretty much boils down to the Three E's = Enlighten, Educate, and Entertain. A film may strive (or not) to achieve any one or combo of the three. The more, the better, of course.<P>And as a seemingly new Talkbacker, I'd say you've already got M-O-M figured out. Cheers and good luck!

  • July 1, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by Geekhaterssuck

    You have a valid arguement to be sure, but my point is if you aren't entertained it's no reason to go off extreme rants like someone kicked your dog, or shot at you. The fact is studios put out loads of crap that do insult the intelligance of the audience. I saw Epic Movie in the theatre and thought is was the most insulting piece of trite idiocy ever, but I did not go on AICN the next day and cry to the heavens on how the cinematical world was at an end, nor did I find someone that liked the movie and proceed to insult their intelligance. I am sure our definitions of entertainment do differ and that's perfectly fine with me. It just bugs me when I see people insult each other and seem to take it as a personal attack when one does not agree with the other over something as trivial as a movie, and I serious doubt that the "audiences" care if you are on there side of not. If they like what they see via trailers, reviews, and promtional efforts they will see it. If not they won't. If they like it they may see it again, recommened to friends etc. If not they won't see it again and they won't recommend it and they won't think about it again unless it comes up in conversation. For every person like you who would rather see a smart and ambitious movie as a form of entertainment there is a person who for some reason lost to me might think Norbitt is a comedic masterpiece. It all comes down to a personal choice and the "audiences" hardly need a champion in the form of yourself or anyone else for that matter. You want to insult someone over their taste then don't be surprised when someone does the same in kind, and just so I'm being consistent that applies to whoever you have been going back and forth with on this as well.

  • July 1, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    (singing) Memories, in the corner of my taint

    by g-ride9000

    I can't even post here right now its so mundane!!

  • July 1, 2008, 3:08 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by Geekhaterssuck

  • July 1, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    No, Memories...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...it's not a "formula". It's just a simple way of looking at art and breaking down what it is that you've taken from an artistic experience.<P>Try not to think about it too much. I don't want you to hurt yourself.

  • July 1, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    Oops sorry

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Blasted enter key LOL. Anyway, Valid criticism is one thing M-O-M but insult upon insult and circular arguements that say nothing are quite another. Point is as by out conversations have proven two people can disagree without resorting to insults and childish actions that are on par with the stupidity of the entertainment you are so vehemently condemning. That's all I'm saying.

  • July 1, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Geekhaterssuck

    by toadkillerdog

    You are presenting a very mature attitude towards criticism and entertainment. It is a battle that has been fought on this and other sites for quite a while. Between those who provide an opinion of a movie and remember that it is merely subjective, and those who believe that they must fight to the death to defend their viewpoints. <p> Entertainment and art are not mutually exclusive though - and occasionally we are witness to truly outstandng artistry regardless of the field. <p> Entertainment, regardless the form, also breeds passion. Those passionate defenses for and against are what brings out the best - and frequently the worst in people on sites such as these. Combine that with a general attitude of anything goes (almost) and immaturity, and you wind up with the flame wars that are sparked by the most seemingly inconsequential of reasons. Too, there are some people who are just spoiling for a dust up. <p>

  • July 1, 2008, 3:26 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    I have a standard European keyboard, but even then I have to go through contortions in order to type the letters you let slip. If one factors in the unlikelihood that those are typos, and considers that they are commonly used in Portuguese, one would have a strong case that you are, indeed, Portuguese. <p> If one then factors in that your language and long, boring posts are more or less identical to the aforementioned BladeRunnerUnit's, who was also Portuguese, by the way, it becomes increasingly likely that you, too, are both Portuguese and also the very same BladeRunnerUnit. <p> These things together are damning, to be sure, but not enough to convict. However, there's more. <p> BladeRunnerUnit had a permanent hardon for both Blade Runner and... *drum roll*.... Lifeforce. BRU was also a rabid Michael Bay hater and would mention his name at the drop of a hat and in totally unrelated talkbacks, just like you. <p> There are actually message boards out there on the net where BRU wasn't banned and one can still read his obsessive shit about Bay and Lifeforce. <p> From where I'm standing, M-O-M, it's pretty goddamn obvious who you are. What's puzzling, however, is why you're so afraid to admit it. On the other hand, maybe it's not. You have proven how thin-skinned you are and admitting that you were banned once before is probably more than your pride can handle. <p> Sad, really...

  • July 1, 2008, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Toadkillerdog

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Art and entertainment are definately not exclusive to be sure, and I definately passionate about the forms of entertainment I truly love. I am a sports fan I love college football and I am incredibly passionate about the team I cheer for however at the end of the day I realize the world keeps spinning win or lose. I have loved Batman since I was a child and while I thought Batman and Robin was horrendous I was hardly crying when I left the theatre. In a lot of cases the people who post such childish drivel simply need to think before they post or grow up. Just my opinion in a nutshell on the whole matter.

  • July 1, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Oh, and MOM/BRU...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...please show me where I used the word "ban" in this talkback.

  • July 1, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Why no mention of the harvey dent MAJOR SPOILER?

    by GoogatheDuke

    you all know what I mean SPOILERS BELLOW . . . . . . . . Harvey "two face" Dent dying why did you not spoil that as well? Thats the biggest spoiler there is. . . . . . . . . . .End spoilers

  • July 1, 2008, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Again I ask you, MOM...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...do you ever, EVER, consider that the reason so many people dislike you is because of how you treat them? <p> This is the fifth time, so let's see if an answer is coming.

  • July 1, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Geekhaterssuck

    by toadkillerdog

    I agree. Unfortunately, there are a lot of immature types around here who will only learn through experience - if even then. In the meantime, it does sometime provide for entertainment in its own right! Just wait until you wade into the political TB's!

  • July 1, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST

    I hate to promote another site

    by Geekhaterssuck

    but since this one doesn't have the new TDK poster on it I have to. Comingsoon.net has quite possibly one of the more orginal movie posters I have seen. Check it out it's amazing. http://www.comingsoon.net/imageGallery/The_Dark_Knight/large/hr_The_Dark_Knight_43.jpg

  • July 1, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    LET'S TALK ABOUT MOVIES AND STOP SHITTING ON EACH OTHER!

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Amazing such a simple statement can contain such wisdom.

  • July 1, 2008, 3:49 p.m. CST

    FMB

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Again, I see you've got nothing to say. Why am I not surprised? To answer you questions though:<P>1. I don't.<P>2. I do not have a questionnaire. *** But for the record, the name is Bernard Pivot. Next time you try to insult, do your reseach.<P>Quote: "Everything in life cannot be boiled down to cute little lists and anagrams.<P>Gee...you got me there, Einstein!<P>Quote: "LIfe is ever changing and not so simple."<P>WTF?! Who are you? Khalil Gibran?!

  • July 1, 2008, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Confirm or Deny Harvey Dent dies in this flick

    by GoogatheDuke

    ?

  • July 1, 2008, 3:52 p.m. CST

    FuckMichaelBay

    by DocPazuzu

    You just took a dump on MNG and now you want to toilet train me? Please. <p> THIS! IS! TALKBAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

  • July 1, 2008, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Kenard Tivo?

    by DocPazuzu

    Coulda sworn it was Oxnard Montalvo.

  • July 1, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    TheAmazingAvacadoMonsterFromAPla ceCalledSex

    by Geekhaterssuck

    I don't want to know some of us want to go into this movie as spoiler free as possible.

  • July 1, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    THIS! IS! TALKBAAAAAAAACK!!!!!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    RIDE!!! RIDE NOW!!!

  • July 1, 2008, 4:06 p.m. CST

    The only thing that sucks about TDK coming out

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Is that TBS, TNT, and the like will play the hell out of Batman Forever and Batman and Robin, A&E will play Burton's Batman which won't be horrible, but I will grow weary of seeing it on my Tivo guide 17 times a week, and no one will play Batman Returns while not a travesty I would much prefer to witness rather than Shumacer's pieces of dreck.

  • July 1, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Geekhaterssuck, what makes you superior?

    by TheLastCleric

    Were I hurling insults and acting like a child you might have a point but what's wrong with a little intelligent debate and discussion, especially when it's amiable? Also, please note you are on a film enthusiast website, which makes me wonder why you are so mystified about the complexity of our deconstruction. I wrote a few paragraphs on mythology as it releates to comics and modern film, not a thesis or a novel. Why is that pathetic? Because I used my intellect to dissect something you obviously think is base? I really don't follow your logic.

  • July 1, 2008, 4:09 p.m. CST

    FuckMichaelBay isn't that what MoM wants to do?

    by Xiphos_2

    Or more accurately MOM wants Bays cock in his mangina. It's obvious that he really loves the Bay and wants to give birth to The Bays butt babies. Hey look it's fun with allitteration!

  • July 1, 2008, 4:21 p.m. CST

    TheLastCleric

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Did you even read my posts or just skim over them? I believe my whole point was there is nothing wrong with discussion and intelligent debate. It is when the conversations turn to childish name calling and insult fests that I have a problem. A debate on heroes vs mythology is fine I'm sorry if it seemed like I said otherwise I was just using that as an example in some of the posts I saw on this talkback. I never claimed to be superior I just think a little maturity is not too much to ask for.

  • July 1, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Geekhaterssuck

    by Jason B. Swaim

    That is somewhat of a nice poster. My only problem is the blatant hipster coolness by quoting the lines from the Joker in all of the trailers.

  • July 1, 2008, 4:46 p.m. CST

    See? What did I tell you.

    by DocPazuzu

    Ask the right questions, and POOF! M-O-M pulls an instant vanishing act.

  • July 1, 2008, 4:46 p.m. CST

    oops

    by DocPazuzu

    spoke too soon.

  • July 1, 2008, 4:48 p.m. CST

    M-O-M/B-R-U

    by DocPazuzu

    That's simply not true. There are people here who share your views on many movies but still can't stand you. <p> I'm still waiting for you to show me where I mentioned banning in this TB.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:10 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    Glad you admitted that. You're right, I don't have a standard European keyboard -- I have a Swedish one. In order for you to type those letters without using several different keys yours has to be country specific as well.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:15 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    I don't like you because you're pretentious, sanctimonious, arrogant and condescending. You also have the most appalling case of double standards I have ever seen in talkback. Jarv is right about you.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:15 p.m. CST

    I just had a vision of Next Year's Oscars.

    by greenstyle92

    Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson announcing the best supporting Actor Nominee and announcing Heath Ledger as the winner, with Jack presenting the Oscar. (to whom, I'm not sure who would accept it for Ledger.) But if Jack Nicholson is anywhere near the envelope for "Best supporting actor," you'll know what the academy is up to. They live for stuff like that.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:15 p.m. CST

    what the?

    by greenstyle92

    Hello? can anybody here me?

  • July 1, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST

    Sorry for the double post.

    by greenstyle92

    not being arrogant, but for a moment I thought my posts weren't posting. False alarm. As this is now a triple post, I'll leave it be?

  • July 1, 2008, 5:17 p.m. CST

    FMB

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Quote: ""Kenard Tivo" rhymes with Benard Pivot and therefore made a good example of how you rip off other's ideas because you have none of your own. Check the Hellboy-Lipton article for proof of previous knowledge of this fact and not of the stupidity you so eagerly try to point out in EVERYONE!"<P>Worst. Excuse. Ever.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:20 p.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    That's a rough, rough image...

  • July 1, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    MOM/BRU

    by DocPazuzu

    Please, just stop. Man up and come clean. We KNOW who you are. How much longer can you keep up the ruse? By the time the next Superman movie comes along (another BRU obsession), you'll be foaming at the mouth and we'll know for sure. Admit it now and spare yourself the agony. C'mon, you know you want to.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:26 p.m. CST

    That's the thing, Bodet.

    by DocPazuzu

    MOM/BRU loves shit too, but he goes into incredible mental contortions to find "quality" in the shit he likes, so that he doesn't have to face the fact that it's shit. <p> Oh, he'll say he loves Lifeforce but secretly he'll be trying to find quality in the film so he won't have the trouble of trying to enjoy a shit film for its purely visceral and cheap thrills.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:30 p.m. CST

    Oh, and FMB...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...I'd sure like to see some examples of my alleged ripping off of other people's ideas. It's one of your more ludicrous accusations considering your whole schtick is a vain echo of MCMLXXVI's persona.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:30 p.m. CST

    Careful there, Salemslut.

    by DocPazuzu

    You just listed a movie M-O-M likes and one he hates. He's liable to go schizo on you.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:34 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    That's the most telling post you ever graced these boards with. What you in essence are saying is that it's okay to "hate" people with different ideas than you when it comes to movies, but that it's "pathetic" to "hate" a person who shares 90% of his views on movies, never mind what other qualities come into play. <p> Do you even grasp how demented that is?

  • July 1, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    That's your list of unpopular movies? Thanks for proving my theory about you.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:39 p.m. CST

    "Memories reminds me of BladeRunnerUnit."

    by DocPazuzu

    What were the odds on that?

  • July 1, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    That's right, MOM/BRU.

    by DocPazuzu

    If you can "hate" a person for differing views on movies then you are a sick, sick fuck.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:42 p.m. CST

    Do androids dream of electric penises?

    by g-ride9000

    Garth, look at the unit on that guy!

  • July 1, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST

    M-O-M/BRU

    by DocPazuzu

    Fair enough, but I'm still coming after you whenever I see you post your offensive shit. Feel free to ignore me.

  • July 1, 2008, 5:58 p.m. CST

    be taking my oldest to see both of these

    by ChickenStu

    Yeah, be taking my teenage boy to check these out. Although, I wonder what the UK rating for "The Dark Knight" is going to be? I know it's scraped a PG-13 in the US, but I can't imagine british censors giving it the 12A over here, judging from what I've heard about it's content.

  • July 1, 2008, 6:53 p.m. CST

    American Dad is WAAAAAAAY funnier than FG

    by Tacom

    Pretty much anything Roger the Alien says and does on that show is hilarious. Anyway you don't have to sell me on wanting to see THE DARK KNIGHT. They had me with the second trailer. It would be cool if Heath gets the Oscar posthumously.

  • July 1, 2008, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Now we have a new definiton of Irony

    by Xiphos_2

    Given to us by the world biggest lover of Michael Bay, the Portugese wonder, Memories of Murder at 6:27:18 PM on 1 July 2008.<p> I'm guessing you were standing in front of a mirror when you wrote that, correct?

  • July 1, 2008, 8:48 p.m. CST

    Agent Johnson

    by Geekhaterssuck

    You hit on target with the problem with talkback, and M-O-M I did not say you were insulting to my posts. It was a general statement regarding the general state of talkback.

  • July 1, 2008, 10:55 p.m. CST

    Spazatronic

    by Geekhaterssuck

    I have no problem with talkbacks just with those people who choose to use the forum to spread their own special brand of idiocy. People like oh you for example. Masterful use of the English language the line regarding the transvestite mom/dad? Stirring, just a masterpiece. (note sarcasm). What are you twelve? Sad, truly sad.

  • July 1, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Both of these are at the top of my list

    by rogueleader66

    Been looking forward to them from their inception, and so far, from what I have heard, I will not be dissapointed. Cannot wait to see them both!!!!

  • July 2, 2008, 12:11 a.m. CST

    sounds like the 12 guys who saw the first hellboy

    by slappy jones

    are in for another treat!

  • July 2, 2008, 3 a.m. CST

    I've fucking had enough of this shit.

    by Lost Jarv

    It's not even 9AM and I'm reading with barely contained glee Memories of Cock's useless pontifications on a variety of subjects. <P>I know English isn't your first language, so maybe you are missing some of the nuances, or not understanding what is tonally offensive in your posts. <P>Let me break it down for you, once and for all. I don't like you. I think you are a complete cunt for the following reasons: <P>1)You are a hypocrite- you can flame Bay et al on one hand, and support the most awful hackery based on some bullshit standard. This is exacerbated by your irritating tendency to judge films by different standards. In itself, this would be irritating, but nothing more. However, what really elevates you head and shoulders above the herd is the constant trollish proclamations of your own intelligence, and how you don't like the very existenz (j/k)of movies that you feel insult your intelligence. Have you even seen the likes of Meet The Spartans. I haven't. And do you want to know why? Because it isn't for me. The internet age means that we are all armed with much more information than we used to be, so therefore can pick and choose what we see. I didn't see Transformers in the Cinema (and only saw it because a friend raved about how great it was). Do I get upset that it exists? No. Do I think that people that liked it are stupid? Not necessarily. Try some tolerance, and try some understanding <P>2)You do not possess the ability to enjoy a movie for it's own sake. Lifeforce is an enjoyable fiasco. There is no quality there. The very fact you are looking for quality shows that you have missed the point. And yet- you deem it acceptable to rail on people that enjoy a film on its own merits or for its own sake, and yet in the same breath, you seem to think it is acceptable to defend on the basis of quality some of the most talentless shit I’ve ever seen. <p>3)You are horribly, insultingly patronising. Look at what you post. Do you honestly not see anything offensive in it? <p>4)You are nowhere near as smart as you think you are. This is self-evident. <p>5)You are a dirty, nasty, hateful little shit. How on earth do you think it is acceptable to “hate” other people for liking movies that don’t meet your ridiculous standards. I love Leprechaun, Deathstalker, Event Horizon and many other cinematic “gems” that I know are utter shit. Do you want to try your usual crap with me? That is enough to be getting on with. I’m sure more will occur.

  • July 2, 2008, 3 a.m. CST

    and Salemslut

    by Lost Jarv

    I didn't mention the Descent when you called me a troll. <P>hmph.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:05 a.m. CST

    HELL YES TO HELL BOY

    by inandout

    I just saw it this evening at a FREE screening with the filmmakers and I am now going to do something I have never done before. Go see it again (and pay this time). It was so creative, clever, funny, unique and to hear that there was very limited CGI in it is amazing. Guirillmo said he only used it when it required it. This film was inspiring and I am now an official GDT fan. I'm looking forward to TDK, but so is everyone. I think Hellboy is the film that most people seem to question and it's totally worthy.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:08 a.m. CST

    oh and ...

    by inandout

    www.hellboymovie.com has some great clips

  • July 2, 2008, 3:34 a.m. CST

    "Dark Knight...it's going to be Titanic for guys"

    by Advil_Liquigel

    I'm a chick, and my having a vagina has never stifled my hatred for Titanic, nor has it quelled my rabid desire to see TDK. I better visit my gynecologist, stat- clearly something down there isn't working properly.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:50 a.m. CST

    re inandout

    by DocPazuzu

    Say, kids! Guess how many previous talkbacks inandout has participated in! That's right! 0!

  • July 2, 2008, 3:56 a.m. CST

    Hubris

    by PacmanFever

    Look that up in a dictionary, and you will find this talkback. And are people really debating the intellectual level of cinema while praising fucking Top Gear? Jesus!

  • July 2, 2008, 3:58 a.m. CST

    Pacman

    by Lost Jarv

    I wasn't praising Top Gear. M-o-M was. It's one of the things that makes him a cunt.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:59 a.m. CST

    fucking plant

    by Lost Jarv

    I can't be arsed to flame you, but fuck off back to your soulless whoremasters and leave us alone.

  • July 2, 2008, 4:15 a.m. CST

    When did you last see lifeforce?

    by Lost Jarv

    this is very relevant to any discussion of it. I watched it 2 nights ago.

  • July 2, 2008, 4:40 a.m. CST

    OK

    by Lost Jarv

    The point is: the acting, script, plot, direction and SFX in Lifeforce are absolutely abominable. It is, however, great fun. And Ms. May does have splendid knockers.

  • July 2, 2008, 4:42 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by PacmanFever

    I didn't say who was praising TG, I just know it was brought up, which was funny in itself.

  • July 2, 2008, 4:45 a.m. CST

    I have a strong urge to watch Lifeforce now

    by PacmanFever

    That is all

  • July 2, 2008, 4:46 a.m. CST

    fair 'nuff

    by Lost Jarv

    Lifeforce has 2 (or one pair of) redeeming features.

  • July 2, 2008, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Moriarty's reviews

    by deanamatronix

    are the only reason to come to this lousy site any more. None of this 'so I was thinking about pussy the whole time until I saw this movie' or 'my girlfriend, yeah, I've a girlfriend, she sits on my face' bullshit. Just a movie review. And a very well written one at that.

  • July 2, 2008, 5:28 a.m. CST

    No way

    by Lost Jarv

    It looks about 1 million times worse than the Thing and it's way older. I wasn't comparing it to today, I was comparing it to the Eighties. <P>It isn't origninal. There's nothing original about it- it rips off about 5 other films, badly, and gleefully. It's fun because it is so awful, and this is what M-o-M and you are not understanding.

  • July 2, 2008, 5:29 a.m. CST

    Tom

    by Lost Jarv

    glad you like them. <P>And get to the heart of Lifeforce, and you'll still be miles away from memories rotten lump of detritus masquerading as a heart- He doesn't understand it either.

  • July 2, 2008, 6:14 a.m. CST

    It isn't though

    by Lost Jarv

    it is Ed Wood bad. And that's why it is great. <P>By your argument above memories should hate it and he likes it.

  • July 2, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    That's where you're wrong, Salemslut.

    by DocPazuzu

    I'm quite sure that Hooper and O'Bannon were trying to make the best damn genre movie they could.

  • July 2, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    And...

    by DocPazuzu

    ..."crap" isn't a genre. Crap knows no bounds and straddles all genres.

  • July 2, 2008, 6:29 a.m. CST

    Bodet

    by DocPazuzu

    You MUST watch Lifeforce. Don't let that cock M-O-M/B-R-U put you off one of the most enjoyable cheesefests of the 1980s. It truly is a mind-boggling spectacle. One for the ages. <p> The only things of true quality in Lifeforce are Mathilda May's astounding nudity and a wonderful score by Henry Mancini (I have the LP).

  • July 2, 2008, 6:39 a.m. CST

    Salemslut

    by DocPazuzu

    Of course that doesn't make it a crap movie. What does, however, is virtually everything else: <p> 1) Steven Railsback's awful performance. <p> 2) The hilariously po-faced and pretentious dialogue being mouthed by some really big names of the British stage. <p> 3) Peter Firth's awful performance. <p> 4) The shameless ripping off of loads of other movies (I've read the book. Trust me, the film is a very liberal adaptation). <p> 5) Telepathy instead of amnesia as the clunky device used to move the plot forward when the whole thing threatens to lurch to a halt and collapse under its own preposterousness. <p> I could go on forever.

  • July 2, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    What is it with you people...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...that you simply cannot allow yourselves to enjoy a shit movie? I don't mean a callous studio product aimed at a market-researched audience (like the truly heinous The Cave or the Fog remake), but a truly and awesomely shit movie like Deathstalker or MegaForce? Who are you trying to impress? What are you afraid of? What is your major malfunction?

  • July 2, 2008, 6:46 a.m. CST

    inandout

    by DocPazuzu

    I wonder if that guy will have the balls to come back and defend his plantitude like that tool TroyG did in the Hancock TB?

  • July 2, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by just pillow talk

    Watch At the Earth's Core and War Gods of the Deep. Crap movies are the necessary foundation to build your movie knowledge with.<p>I haven't seen Lifeforce in years and years. If I remember correctly, the apex of Patrick Stewart's career.

  • July 2, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Doc, I'm going to say "no" to inandout

    by just pillow talk

    He posted in the other Hellboy thread as well.

  • July 2, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Salemslut

    by Lost Jarv

    no- I'm the same. The point is, that it had all the necessary talent involved to be truly great and missed by so far, that it lurches clear past mediocre, bad, and terrible straight to awesome.

  • July 2, 2008, 6:59 a.m. CST

    "I`m impressed and a little bit confused."

    by DocPazuzu

    This is why you fail, my young padawan.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:04 a.m. CST

    See. THis is what I mean

    by Lost Jarv

    why do you think it is a good idea to lecture us- geeks to a man about Captain fucking Picard/ Professor X's career? how many of us do you think don't know those facts? you condescending little turd?

  • July 2, 2008, 7:08 a.m. CST

    I think you missed my sarcasm M-O-M

    by just pillow talk

    I realize that Pat started late, and yes, he was in Excalibur. That had no bearing on me saying this craptastical movie (Lifeforce) was the height of his movie career.<p>Or perhaps you did realize it and decided to go off on your little actor's studio thing with Pat.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:09 a.m. CST

    JPT

    by DocPazuzu

    Thanks for the heads up. I have now dealt with him in that talkback as well.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST

    hahahaha

    by DocPazuzu

    Jesus, M-O-M/B-R-U still doesn't get it, does he? <p> What a fucking idiot.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST

    Jarv has pleaded to the powers-that-be

    by just pillow talk

    to become a plant as well Doc. It's always fallen on deaf ears though. That would be some gig I would have to say. Fuck, green is my favorite color too. I would become such the two-bit whore and prop up any shit movie on here, as long as they threw me a bone with some good ones.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    *sighs...shakes head*

    by just pillow talk

    Nope, will never get it.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Oh. My. God.

    by DocPazuzu

    You know that feeling you get when your drunk uncle tries to say something "cool", when a plant tries to talk "geek" or when you watch Shoot Em Up? <p> That's how M-O-M/B-R-U's lesbian post just made me feel. I think I may have thrown up in my mouth a little.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    JPT

    by DocPazuzu

    I think some of us talkbackers should actually go into business together, you know -- plants for hire. We'd fucking clean house, I swear.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:19 a.m. CST

    WhinyNegativeBitch

    by DocPazuzu

    Sho Kosugi is the shit! Revenge of the Ninja is beyond awesome.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    How did I get burned, asshole

    by Lost Jarv

    and where can I sign up for plants R us? <P>Obviously 10% of my earnings will have to go to CoC.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    "In-house native plants"

    by just pillow talk

    See, it's better for the environment to go native as opposed to trying to bring a plant that can't grow under these harsh conditions.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    The reason they won't hire us,

    by Lost Jarv

    is that they see us wasting our working day tooling around on here, and are too fucking stupid to realise that if we were being paid to tool around on here then we wouldn't be wasting time. <P>I may run a plant audition for the next week. <P>i'll just pick a film that I know no bugger will see and then whore it to the gills. Somerstown is looking like a candidate.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:35 a.m. CST

    Re- M-o-M's lesbian post

    by Lost Jarv

    How on earth can you manage to make a film about lesbian vampires sound both pretentious and boring. <P>Memories of Unit is a sort of Anti-plant.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Color me impressed

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I got to bed you're talking about Lifeforce. I wake up and you're still talking baout Lifeforce.<p>One more day to go until the Donor has four days off and one full day to himself.<p>Anyone here see a movie called Meet Bill with Aaron Eckhart? Watched it last night. Good show to watch with the wife, despite the acting "talents" of Jessica Alba.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    I think a litmus test...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...for M-O-M/B-R-U would be interesting -- something akin to a Voight-Kampff test. He's very much like a replicant in that he doesn't possess enough self-awareness when it comes to emotions and common sense so he is actually incapable of faking answers. This is why he'd rather flee than answer tough questions. <p> *sets up machine and sits down in front of and downwind from M-O-M/B-R-U* <p> "Tell us, M-O-M, the first thing that comes into your mind when I say... The Transporter. 1 and 2."

  • July 2, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    "You're watching The Transporter, M-O-M...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...but you're not enjoying it." <p> "What do you mean I'm not enjoying it?" <p> "I mean you're not enjoying it, M-O-M. Why is that?"

  • July 2, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    "Shoot Em Up, M-O-M -- nice movie?"

    by DocPazuzu

    "Yeah, I guess." <p> *glances up at M-O-M* <p> "Your boyfriend comes home. You show him a picture of a lesbian vampire and he likes it so much he hangs it up on your bedroom wall." <p> "I wouldn't let him." <p> "Why not, M-O-M?" <p> "I should be enough for him." <p> "But he says it's a "must see, man"."

  • July 2, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Lol

    by Lost Jarv

    that last one was brilliant.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    "Describe, in your own words, M-O-M...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...only the good things you remember about Michael Bay." <p> "Michael bay? Let me tell you about Michael Bay-" <p> *BLAM!* <p> *M-O-M slumps over, dead*

  • July 2, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    heh

    by Lost Jarv

    "A wasp stings you, what do you do"<P>"I kill it" <P>"The venom, however, morphs you into the bastard lovechild of Brett Ratner and Michael Bay, What do you do?"

  • July 2, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    "despite cannibalism, bestiality and explicit sex"

    by DocPazuzu

    Again, you fail.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    heh

    by Lost Jarv

    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. And all in a Bay film. I think it was called Transformers"

  • July 2, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    "If you could only see...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...the movies I have seen with my own eyes."

  • July 2, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    LOL Salemslut

    by just pillow talk

    That be the reasons why such a film would be craptastically good.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    that's like saying...

    by just pillow talk

    You like Creature from 20,000 fathoms except when the creature randomly attacks a lighthouse for no reason or we spend an inordinate amount of time on our "heroes" looking over dino pics.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    Salemslut is basically a non-offensive version of memories

    by Lost Jarv

    Bear with me in this- he has high standards, and loves extreme cinema. All his "bad" movies are actually safe choices and all have some degree of quality to them (I'm not even sure Pussycat qualifies as a bad movie).

  • July 2, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by DocPazuzu

    What really irks me though is their utter inability to understand the concept of what we're talking about. They don't even have to agree with us, but it's like trying to communicate with Martians.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Yes, they completely fail to grok

    by Lost Jarv

    what we are talking about. <P>have tou seen the Leprechaun movies Salemslut?

  • July 2, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    You should check out the Ratner TB. Top Ten All Time Action movie lists are being thrown around and not one of them contains a CoC approved release. No Tony Jaa in sight.<p>Bad Boys 2 however has been seen at the top of more than one list.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    "So when you say...

    by DocPazuzu

    ..."shit can be good", you actually mean that there are some actual good things INSIDE the shit, right?" <p> "No, we mean that the shit itself is what's good. Good shit, in other words." <p> "You mean it looks like shit, smells like shit and tastes like shit, but it's not shit?" <p> "No, it's SHIT. But it's GOOD shit." <p> "I'm sorry, I don't understand..."

  • July 2, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    "it's intrinsic shitness is what makes it good"

    by Lost Jarv

    "But this doesn't make sense"

  • July 2, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    I meant the list you've just put up

    by Lost Jarv

    That list with the possible exceptions of Caligula, Lifeforce and Visitor Q are films that are so bad they're actually bad. <P>I'm not trying to get personal with you, what I'm trying to do is explain that what makes the likes of Bride of Reanimator so fucking fabulous is the sheer lack of quality. There is nothing good about these types of films, and THAT is what makes them great. <P>For example, Visitor Q, is a highly artistic film that I don't like. It's clearly high quality. Caligula and Lifeforce are closer to where we are going. <P>Get it now?

  • July 2, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Salemslut

    by DocPazuzu

    See, the problem with your list is that it consists entirely of movies which are either actually quite good in their own right or are TRULY shit in the worst way (like Domino). The only one I'd let you slide on is Emanuelle in America, but even then I'm sure you think it has secret, "good" qualities that set it apart from, say, a true shit gem like Starcrash.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Now you're trolling

    by Lost Jarv

    I'll take your Ramsey and raise you HITCHCOCK.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    You beat me to the punch, Jarv.

    by DocPazuzu

  • July 2, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Salemslut

    by DocPazuzu

    So far you haven't presented one single post which indicates that you have any clue what we're talking about. Quite the opposite, in fact.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    If it's any consoloation...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...M-O-M doesn't have a fucking clue either. You get points for trying, though, whereas M-O-M just bitched out.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:33 a.m. CST

    How to explain this....

    by Lost Jarv

    It's gleeful, it's fun for the sake of fun, it's about revelling in an experience, it's about pure enjoyment. If you think about, say, Troma, movies for a second they collapse. No film that is so bad it's good stands up to scrutiny. <P>Am I getting there?

  • July 2, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    and you also win points for not being a dick about it.

    by Lost Jarv

    Takes all sorts to make a world as me mam used to say.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Someone just said the car chase scenes in Ronin

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Were overrated. And I'm fresh out of #2 pencils.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    and no. 2girls 1 cup does not qualify

    by Lost Jarv

    Godzilla V Mothra doesn't either. It's closer though.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Was that that fucking Godfather TB?

    by Lost Jarv

    what the fuck is wrong with people recently?

  • July 2, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    Emanuelle is porn so doesn't count

    by Lost Jarv

    The problem is- you're wrong about the qualities in Lifeforce, they just aren't there. You basically enjoy it on the same visceral level as the rest of us, but feel a need to seek out some sort of justification for liking it. You don't need a justification (and most that can be put up can be easily blown away)- it's visceral pleasure.<P>I feel like a support group at the moment: <P>"MY NAME IS JARV AND I LIKE SURF NAZIS MUST DIE"

  • July 2, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    It's war, Jarv & HOD.

    by DocPazuzu

    On the one hand we have sneering snobs like Xyzzy80 and M-O-M, and on the other the assholes who are slamming the greatness of some undeniable classics of great cinema. <p> Gentlemen, we are fighting a two-front campaign.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Fuck...

    by DocPazuzu

    I might has well have typed "the greatness of some undeniable classics of great cinema... of greatness." <p> I must be losing it.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    It's war on 2 fronts

    by Lost Jarv

    makes you lose it.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Night of the Creeps Salemslut?

    by just pillow talk

    Si? No?<p>Ronin is a FUCKING GREAT MOVIE with a FUCKING GREAT CAR CHASE.<p>Fuck me.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    OK

    by Lost Jarv

    The point is- you don't need the justification, and I strongly disagree with everything apart from the Mancini score. <P>Air Force One is just jingoistic nonsense, and Armageddon is rotten, so I agree there. <P>All these bad movies are basically at core FUN- that's why shit like Brown Bunny, AvP, half the Rom-Com crap the good Mrs. Jarv gets, Half Life (fucking hate that), are actually awful. They aren't fun.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    What a classic Talkback!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    We've gone from great anticipation and discussion about TDK (and HB2), to an intense Flame War, to full-on hilariousness and insanity.<P>Great stuff. You guys have made my morning.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    It's astounding, Pillows

    by Lost Jarv

    There's a third front opening up as well- long term Haters like Merriman, IndustryKiller, I am Batman, who are just disparaging fucking EVERYTHING before it gets released. <P>It's tiring.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Speaking of good shit...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...I rewatched Hawk the Slayer again last week. I love it so. The dialogue is amazing. <p> "Let me raid the fat lords in the North!" <p> "I'm no messenger, but I'll give you a message -- a message of DEATH!"

  • July 2, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Glad you could make it, MNG

    by DocPazuzu

    We're just getting started.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    funny

    by Lost Jarv

    I rewatched the mighty Krull the other day. <P>Wonderful. Stupid lovefilm are still pretending that Beastmaster doesn't exist though.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    what the fuck is going on here?

    by just pillow talk

    I mean, what the fuck? Is 90% of AICN just miserable bastards who don't like anything besides the video game-like shit that is fed to the public now? Fuckity fuck fuck. <p>Ya know, I finally got around to seeing Papillion, and what a solid movie. Steve McQueen was just great in it. Will people disparage that movie as well? <p>A thousand fucking pencil stabs to the neck to all infidels, imbelicles, and shitheels for having a fucking phone booth up your asses.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Krull...sci-fi should have that on

    by just pillow talk

    But no, we get their tv-made shit.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Re: Deathstalker

    by Lost Jarv

    The good Mrs Jarv excitedly pointed out to me that the woman that "plays" the female Barbarian in Deathstalker is whatshername that Phil Spectre murdered. I already knew this, but it was fun to see her discovering one of the unexpected joys of shlock movies. <P>She had the same reaction when she saw Patrick Stewart was in Lifeforce. <P>I love it when that happens- I'm saving both The Burning and Sizzle Beach USA for when she gets a bit pissed off with me for sabotaging the list so badly.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Have you seen Minotaur yet pillows?

    by Lost Jarv

    It's Sci-Fi's only good effort. Hilarious. <P>A complete waste of the awesome Tony Todd. The man needs a better agent.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    no Jarv

    by just pillow talk

    I had just caught a bit of Sasquatch, which was just plain bad.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Lest we forget...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...Tony Todd was also in the diabolical Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    I agree with MNG - hey that rhymes!

    by toadkillerdog

    This is a classic TB.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    Poor old Tony

    by Lost Jarv

    Candyman was so fucking good as well. <P>He's head of the CIA in chuck now. I can't work out if this is a career high point or not.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST

    it's an absolute crime that only the original

    by just pillow talk

    Beastmaster is on DVD. <p>Where's the boxed set????

  • July 2, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    That is a very good point

    by Lost Jarv

    Seeing as I got my Lep box set when I shouted about it enough: <P>WHERE'S MY BEASTMASTER BOX SET MOTHERFUCKERS? DON'T MAKE ME PENCIL JIHAD YOU,

  • July 2, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Hola boyos!

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    So it seems there are people who wouldn't know good cinema if it punched them in the face, killed their dog and ate their lunch even though it clearly had their name on it.<p>In the past 24 hours I've seen things I didn't think imaginable, namely movie geeks saying the Godfather is a bad movie and Bad Boys 2 is the greatest action movie of all time. I'll let you know when my head stops spinning.<p>As for Krull, not only did I watch it a few weeks ago, but I listened to all four commentaries and watched all the behind the scenes stuff. The stes that they built were truly impressive. I think people forget what a grand scale the filmmakers envisioned with that project. Cheese aside, it's still a greta movie that holds up well.<p>I haven't seen Papillion in years but I remembered it being a classic.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    re: the Sci Fi Channel

    by Rickey Henderson

    When they created it, Rickey was stoked at the idea of a channel completely devoted to science fiction. Remember when they announced the channel with that image of a house by a lake with a ringed planet in the sky? Man Rickey was excited. A deacade of shitty dinosaur movies later, Rickey can report that the experiment has failed (with the exception of BSG). They need a new mission statement, something along the lines of "We take sci fi seriously because our fans do." Rickey's apologies to those who liked Minotaur, but enough with the mythical creature shit already. Because mark Rickey's words, its only a matter of time until we get a goddamned Snallygaster movie.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    Best post in the thread:

    by Lost Jarv

    Comes from Advil_Liquigel and was missed in the flame war. <P>It's brilliant.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Memory Lane

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Wow this talkback has made me remember movies I haven't thought of in years. Hawk the Slayer? I loved that movie of course the last time I watched it I was 13. Krull? Wow how to describe it. It's a fun flick for a trip down memory lane but hardly cinematical genius. Man I remember when I was a kid a local tv station had some sort of wierd fantasy movie marathon. Conan the Barbarian, Conan the Destroyer, The Sword and the Sorcerer, Excalibur and then Hawk the Slayer. Wow what a day that was.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:48 a.m. CST

    shit, you'r right Jarv

    by just pillow talk

    I totally missed that post.<p>Kudos Advil_Liquigel. Bravo!

  • July 2, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Then of course...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...there is the love of cinema that dare not speak its name. Yes, I am, of course, referring to movies which are bad on every level -- not even so bad they're good, but just plain bad -- yet we still have a soft spot for them -- TRUE guilty pleasures. <p> I mean films we're so embarrassed about we hesitate to mention them here.

  • July 2, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Advil's post was great

    by DocPazuzu

  • July 2, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    who has seen THE PIT?

    by Jonah Echo

    A little pervert, his living teddy bear and a pit of trollocs out back of his house that he feeds his enemies too? Anyone?? That one was bad all around, and actually made you feel creepy for watching it.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    mariachi madness

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    You rock. Thanks.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by DocPazuzu

    I LOVE The Pit! I think he called them "trollologs". Weird fucking movie. And awful in all the right ways: a 12-y-o pervert who cuts nude pics out of books at the library and then spies on the librarian undressing. He also takes orders from his demented teddy bear. I almost fell off my chair when the jock gets offed in the pit. And the ending is hysterical. <p> It holds a dear spot in my DVD collection.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    talkbacker mr. brownstone...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...is also a big fan of The Pit.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    DocPazuzu - Your Voight-Kampff test...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...nearly made me fall out of my chair. It's perfectly appropriate and nuanced comedy gold.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    Tony Todd vs. Keith David

    by Series7

    Who does the better voice over?

  • July 2, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    At first I thought...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...the kid was imagining that his teddy bear was giving him orders, but then there's that muhahahaha scene where we see the teddy bear turn its head when the kid's not in the room. WTF?

  • July 2, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    cheers MNG

    by DocPazuzu

  • July 2, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    DocP

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    According to Mori, there's no such thing as a guilty pleasure.<p>It's that's the case then what term do I use to explain why I can watch a movie like Remo Williams and not want to turn it off? And the Matrix be damned, Remo had the ORIGINAL bullet time, done Joel Grey style!

  • July 2, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    I LOVE that

    by Lost Jarv

    Crazy genius. <P>Do you mean some real stinkers like Alone in The Dark, which I know is terrible but have a soft spot for?

  • July 2, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    much like when Timeline is on Sci-fi

    by just pillow talk

    I....must....watch it.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    REVENGE OF THE NINJA (!)

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Possibly one of my top cinematic guilty pleasures of all time. I must have watched that flick 20 times or more as a kid.<P>That showdown between Cho and Braden must have been re-enacted with my neighborhood buddies a million times.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST

    I had started to watch A Sound of Thunder

    by just pillow talk

    when that was on, but didn't get the chance to finish. It most certainly looked like a horrendous turd. I didn't get the feeling it was going to have that all important charm though.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:28 a.m. CST

    "Only a ninja can stop a ninja."

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Hi-yah!

  • July 2, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Okay, fuck it.

    by DocPazuzu

    I have a soft spot for The Postman. Yeah, I said it. Terrible movie, yet I am COMPELLED to watch it. The shame doesn't come when one admits to seeing it (not very often), like so many other movies, but while I'm actually WATCHING it. <p> Now if that doesn't define "guilty pleasure" then I don't know what does.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    JPT

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Oh no! It's been said that the most convincing special-effect in A SOUND OF THUNDER was Ben Kingsley's wig.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    on the subject of "ninjas"

    by just pillow talk

    American Ninja with Mikey Dudikoff.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    You the man, MNG!

    by DocPazuzu

    Gotta love the playground asskickery when Sho defeats the Village People, or that Native American guy who fights Sho with TOMAHAWKS! Revenge of the Ninja is pure bliss.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Ha! From what I saw, I cannot dispute the wig's power

    by just pillow talk

    And let me add any Chuck Norris movie, especially Silent Rage and Lone Wolf.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    unstoppable dude down the well

    by just pillow talk

    I love that.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    re Kingsley's wig.

    by DocPazuzu

    Here's a pic of it: <p> http://tinyurl.com/4dgxq7

  • July 2, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Nothing beats Sho Kosugi...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...getting dragged across the highway while hanging from the back of a van. The guys is wearing nothing but slacks and his thighs are getting turned into hamburger.<P>But does that stop Sho/Cho?!<P>HELL NO!<P>Why? Because he is a ninja about to serve up some revenge and he is AWESOME!

  • July 2, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    If anyone deserved to be...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...enshrined in the CoC, it's Sho fucking Kosugi.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    The Postman

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Has Tom Petty, does it not? That alone should give it a free pass.<p>What about Gymkata?<p>"The skill of gymnastics. The kill of karate."

  • July 2, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Yes! Sho Kosugi for the CoC.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Make it so, Warciples.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    from the pic, I think the wig is a symbiote

    by just pillow talk

    It would really explain Ben's performance quite well I think.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    At this very moment...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...somewhere in Portugal, a man is having an embolism.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    My all time guilty pleasure might very well be

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Blind Fury with The Hauer. Must watch every time it's on.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    since I don't recall Revenge of the Ninja

    by just pillow talk

    I have added it to the queue. <p>I certainly miss the days of kung fu theater on channel twenty...sigh...

  • July 2, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    HOD

    by DocPazuzu

    I'll watch anything with Rutger Hauer or Randall "Tex" Cobb. In Blind Fury you get both!

  • July 2, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    maybe M-O-M is a cyborg

    by just pillow talk

    and it shut himself down for fear of exploding?

  • July 2, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    JPT

    by DocPazuzu

    I assure you, friend, you will not regret it.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    JPT

    by DocPazuzu

    The thing that hasn't been mentioned here regarding ROTN is that it's also a Cannon film. Nothing says 1980s cheesy asskickery like Cannon.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:48 a.m. CST

    Megaforce!?!

    by Billyeveryteen

    Good lord, I love that POS. I'm not saying flying motorcycles are good...<p>I'm saying they're AWESOME!

  • July 2, 2008, 10:48 a.m. CST

    RE: kung fu theater on channel twenty...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Yeah, I had the exact same thing every Sunday.<P>There is an animated kung-fu movie that got played once and I have been trying to find out what it was for years. Unless someone knows exactly what I'm talking about, I have no idea how to determine the title of this flick.<P>All I remember is that there were good guys and bad guys - all different types of creatures and humans. The one guy I remember most vividly was a sort of griffin-type character who used a staff. I think he ended up getting killed in a vat of hot oil or something.<P>It was a crazy, wicked animated kung-fu movie and I only ever saw it once. Does that ring a bell with anyone.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:48 a.m. CST

    oh, I could never regret any movie with ninjas

    by just pillow talk

    The Octagon springs to mind. I love ninjas cause they end up being so inept. <p>And I cannot stress American Ninja enough.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    kung-fu theater on saturday afternoon

    by just pillow talk

    Sunday mornings at 10:30 - Abbot & Costello.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Ok, time to fess up

    by toadkillerdog

    I really like The Challenge - with Scott Glenn. And that goofy little kid with the lisp and the bucket.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    I hope I see "Dark Knight" before the invasion...

    by Biggie Kaiju

    There's a great interview with Christian Bale that just went up on Dark Horizons. Smart guy, and a great attitude. Check it out. In other news, I live in Bucks County, PA and it seems "Signs" may be coming true! The front page of the Bucks County Courier Times details crazy UFO sightings that have been going on. I've had two sightings myself; a black sphere that glided overhead in a straight line in broad daylight, and a crazy streak of yellow light that grew in the sky and then vanished into the night. Others in my apartment building witnessed these, as well. I don't have a baseball bat, but I do have a cake knife and a pretty wicked claw hammer; any of those clicky-noise gas-spewing naked fucks tries to knock my door down, it's gettin' the hammer in the noggin and the knife up its ass. Phone this home, E.T. bitch! Sorry to intrude, but come on... THEY ARE AMONG US! It feels like the world is getting stranger and more fucked up by the hour.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    er, not sure how to follow that post...

    by just pillow talk

    Sure is hot out there, right?

  • July 2, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Pillow, you follow up with Master of the Flying Guilliotine

    by Kloipy

    deserves a stamp of Burt's approval

  • July 2, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by toadkillerdog

    Lets just slowly back out of the TB. Very slowly.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:10 a.m. CST

    Biggie?

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Uh wow what are you smoking and where can I get some? Wow. Ok anyway, speaking of movies and such Chuck Norris ladies and gentlemen I submit for your talkback approval The Octagon! The great Chuck against waves and waves of ninjas. Also anyone have Versus? They play Bloodsport with Jean-Claude Van Damme every other week.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    what up Brother Kloipy?

    by just pillow talk

    toad, or we just get beamed up.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Geekhaterssuck

    by just pillow talk

    See a couple of my previous posts. I indeed gave a shout out to the Octagon.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    not much my friend

    by Kloipy

    It's the Summer of Gummer my man. It's been hot as all hell. I just want to see Wall E but I think I may have to wait for DVD for that one. Ong Bak 2 on the other had. First. In. Line.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    I get so happy thinking about Ong Bak 2

    by just pillow talk

    Yeah, I would like to see Wall E, but who knows if I'll get to it. After all, I haven't even seen the Hulk. As long as I get to Hellboy 2 and TDK, it's all good.<p>Halfway through my summer classes (wa-hoo!).

  • July 2, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    The Challenge - Dammit

    by toadkillerdog

    Pillow, I think that dude stumbled/was too high to notice, onto the wrong site.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    BTW Kloipy...check out the Beverly Hills Cop 4

    by just pillow talk

    and Godfather Blu-ray threads. Talkbackers are out of their fucking minds with some of the shit they are spewing out.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    I hope he lights his whole body on fire

    by Kloipy

    for the entire running time of the movie.<p> Yeah, i saw Indy and Iron man so far. I'm getting behind. I really want to see TDK and Hellboy 2 as well, but most of the movie money is going in the baby bank right now.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    toad, he's probably been staring into the crystal skull

    by just pillow talk

    too long.<p>Snap out of it man!

  • July 2, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    I'll have to check those out

    by Kloipy

    I can only imagine the idiocy. But it doesn't suprise me.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    yeah, I can't wait until my daughter decides

    by just pillow talk

    she wants to go on the "potty".<p>Damn diapers...damn wipes.<p>Er, I meant FLAMING LEG KICKS and broken bones..yeah!

  • July 2, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Your gonna fry your prefrontal lobes dude!

    by toadkillerdog

    Run away!

  • July 2, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    trust me, I'm getting in all my b-horror now

    by Kloipy

    because the wife doesn't care for it and doesn't want the baby around the horror stuff, so I'll be getting ready for less Bloodshed and more Bernistien Bears...but at least it's bears

  • July 2, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    a warciple never, ever, runs away

    by just pillow talk

    He lights his leg on fire and jumps into the darkness to battle shitheels.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    nah, there's always time for your movies

    by just pillow talk

    Sometimes sleep must be sacrificed for the greater good.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    warciples kill first and ask questions never

    by Kloipy

  • July 2, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Not you Pillow - the Big man in rubber monster suit loving dude

    by toadkillerdog

    He needs to run away.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    questions are optional

    by just pillow talk

    since the CoC already provides us with all the answers.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    I finally got around to seeing Rambo

    by Kloipy

    it was alright action wise, but it had less than a story

  • July 2, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    I have always believed in disproportional response

    by toadkillerdog

    Someone pulls a knife, I hit em with a howitzer. Someone pulls a gun, I nuke their ass. Someone pulls a grenad launcher. I drop 0.7mm of leaden No. 2 pencil death on them!

  • July 2, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Kloipy

    by just pillow talk

    Not sure if you've met Hawaiian Organ Donor, but he's big into Asian theater. He's tipped me onto Donnie Yen, so I will be watching my first one (Dragon Tiger Gate) either tonight or tomorrow. Other titles include Flash Point and Kill Zone.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    See Wall-E in theaters

    by Series7

    You'll be upset if you don't. Hulk, not so much. Wall-E was an amazing movie. Everything you've heard about it is true.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Well I gotta get back to work, unfortunatly

    by Kloipy

    Good seeing you man! I'll hopefully talk to you guys tomorrow. I got off, so I'll be on in the morning. Peace

  • July 2, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Pillow, I didn't meet him yet

    by Kloipy

    I've heard of Donnie, I'll have to check that out<p> Thanks Series, I'll have to see if I can manage to see it.I'm out now

  • July 2, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    haven't gotten to Rambo...yet

    by just pillow talk

    I watched Charlie Wilson's War last night, and all I kept thinking was #2 pencils would have knocked out the Russian helicopters, and pencils are far cheaper to make than the anti-aircraft weaponry.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Wall -E is cute. But not a masterpiece

    by toadkillerdog

    I liked Iron Man better. Don't get me wriong, Wall - E has its virtues, but the slavering in the press over it, is ridiculous. It is a cute little movie, that drags in places, and not quite as funny as the trailers lead you to beleive.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    Speaking of Asian film

    by Series7

    Seein that Timur Beackasfjld (russian dude who directed Wanted) is being called the new John Woo (in the sense that he's a big action director from somewhere outside of america doing work in hollywood). I really thought Hard Target was a much better film then Wanted. Wanted was pretty bad, don't waste your theater money, it will probably make for a good rental though. Especially if you've read the comic book it REALLY sucks. Speaking of comic books I'm off to the comic book store, praise allah for lunch break.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    happy shitheel hunting Kloipy

    by just pillow talk

    See ya tomorrow.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Wall-E > Iron Man

    by Series7

    In terms of movie and critic praise. Everyone was praising Iron Man just as much as Wall-E. At least Wall-E had a clear bad guy. Not a guy who looked evil and didn't really care for Iron Man and then was like.... Ok I'm bad! Grrrrrr.... Ironman was just one huge set up for Ironman 2, which is fine because thats how comics are. And with that I'll be back in an hour, and probably a lot poorer. <P> Oh plus the stuff I've seen about Wall-E on TV didn't give away everything cool about the movie.... unlike Iron man.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    FMB

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Let's not mince words. You truly are a pathetic cunt.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    It is all subjective

    by toadkillerdog

    I enjoyed both movies, but not enough to go into a defense of why I liked one better than the other. See them for yourself and judge.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Kloipy/Pillow/Toad

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    We finally got our daughter potty trained a couple months ago so now we only have to worry about putting diapers on her at night. Watching her come barrelling out of our room making a b-line for the guest bathroom where she has her potty setup is generally the best part of my day.<p>My wife told me I had to stop watching violent movies when our daughter turned one as she figured that's when she could start processing the images on screen. And then the warden gets angry with me when I spend two grand on a projector so I can watch movies upstairs and not traumatize our daughter. Go figure.<p>Sorry to hear that Dragon Tiger Gate is going to be your first exposure to Donnie Yen. I hope it doesn't turn you off the guy. SPL (Kill Zone) would have been a better way to introduce yourself.<p>And don't forget, Warciples, that the director's cut of Fearless comes out this month. It's the version that has Michelle Yeoh and more butt-kickery from Jet.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    HOD

    by toadkillerdog

    One more day until your fellow warciples look on with envy your day of asian ass kickery and boozing! I took Thursday off as well, but I will be doing the family shuttle bus driving thing as relatives from out of town fly in.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    I'm tinkering with the idea of throwing some Hollywood

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Into tomorrow's mix. Maybe The Bank Job. Anyone seen it?<p>Shuttling family around is noble. You're a good man, Charlie Brown.<p>So a Warciple hasn't seen Rambo yet. For shame. Get that sucker in your queue, stat.<p>Call me crazy, I loved Charlie Wilson's War. Phillip Seymour stole the show again. I swear, I could watch a movie with that guy reading the Sunday paper from cover to cover.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Morning, Danny

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I haven't seen Hard Target since the theater. What's that, 15 years ago?<p>Was Lance Henrickson in that? I think I need to rent it.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Well, maybe not MI:3

    by toadkillerdog

    Otherwise, I totally agree that PSH is a great talent.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    "Still fighting the good fight?"

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    No, Memories. He's losing.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    nah, it won't turn me off cause I know there's more

    by just pillow talk

    out there from Donnie. <p>And I didn't know that about Fearless. I really liked that as it is, throw in Michelle....awesome.<p>And Rambo has been in my queue for a bit now, but as I try and not have an on-going war with Mrs. Pillow, I have throw some bones her way. I have the 3 at a time rental, so one for her, one that possibly she may watch/like, and one that she would absolutely never watch..for me.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Nope M-O-M

    by just pillow talk

    I had a pastry this morning.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Which Van Damme movie is it...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...that during an emotional montage, he starts guzzling Johnnie Walker Red and it comes flying back out of his nose?

  • July 2, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    not a street figher fan...

    by just pillow talk

    but if you want to talk about Van Damme, then we can talk Cyborg. I love that type of Vansilliness...

  • July 2, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    oh, and Hawaiian

    by just pillow talk

    Phillip was by far the best thing in Charlie Wilson's war. I love when he goes off on his boss.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    DOUBLE IMPACT! That's the one. And man, that whiskey blast from the nose looked painful. Anytime you're going to guzzle a ton of blended Scotch in one gulp, you better be ready for some nasal pyrotechnics!

  • July 2, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Van DAMME!

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Love me some Hard Target, basically a modern retelling of "The Most Dangerous Game," but man I love that flick. Cyborg was freaking incredible. Remember the Quest with Roger Moore in it? How about Double Impact? Van Damme times two! Wow I'm all geeked out now LOL.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    More Van Dammie goodness.

    by Geekhaterssuck

    Has anyone mentioned Timecop?

  • July 2, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    If we are gonna whip out the low budget cheese..

    by Jonah Echo

    Metal Storm: The Destruction of Jared Sinn? or the early 90's flick Warlock with Julian Sands? Crazy menonnite, a displaced 1600s witchhunter, and a 20 something in the body of a 60 yr old still played by the 20 something in a bad whig chasing a flying warlock across a field only to spear him with a weather vane, much like harpooning the shark in Jaws.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:37 p.m. CST

    Salemslut

    by just pillow talk

    http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35954<p>JCVD movie...

  • July 2, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    And for B-horror..

    by Jonah Echo

    anyone see I, Madman? That was a pretty cool 80s horror that sort of walked down the road of pulpy 40's horror mags and meshed it with the "real world". Only movie I can recall had a stop motion jackal boy. Good flick, for schlock.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    I've never seen a Van Damme movie more than once

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    And I enjoyed almost all of them.<p>Oh wait, Universal Soldier was a Van Damme vehicle, wasn't it? OK, I must've watched that movie a dozen times. At the time I thought the scene of them running down the side of Hoover Dam was the coolest thing ever.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Tony Jaa can run down the side of the hoover dam

    by just pillow talk

    He leaves a flaming trail like the horses in Krull. BTW, cyclops don't get enough work nowadays.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Metal Storm: The Destruction of Jared Sinn

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    That was a 3-D movie right?

  • July 2, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by just pillow talk

    Not I, but it wouldn't surprise me if the good Doc has. You had me at "stop motion jackal boy"...

  • July 2, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    Any movie with Richard Moll AND Tim Thomerson

    by toadkillerdog

    Would be worth seeing. Destruction of Jared Syn, was one of the worst movies I saw in the 80's. I am glad I only saw it on cable. But the Title alone was worth watching it for. Truly great title.

  • July 2, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    There was some Ninja movie where they said "only

    by CrichtonAstronut

    a ninja can kill a Ninja." and prove it they had the cops shooty the hell out of this evil Ninja and he possessed this really hot art student, and she be normal most of the time and then start killing the cops who shot the evil Ninja and the good Ninja finally catches up with excersizes the evil Ninja spirit ansd fights him in his corps body. And of of the cops who shot the evil Ninja fell for the hot art student girl and he helped the good Ninja find her and save her. Anybody remember that movie cause it had its camp elements but it pretty goddamn fun and that chick seriously hot and kicked serious ass. Cool exorcism scene too.

  • July 2, 2008, 1:07 p.m. CST

    CrichtonAstronut

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Oh yes, I believe that would be the dubious classic, NINJA 3: THE DOMINATION. If ever there was a moment when ninja films ran out of ideas, that was the one.<P>"Only a ninja can kill a ninja." is taken from REVENGE OF THE NINJA. But in NINJA 3, Sho Kosugi proved yet again why that is so.

  • July 2, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    Thanks that was bugging the hell out of me

    by CrichtonAstronut

    Hadn't seen it for ages. Still remember the girl was hot though.

  • July 2, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    And for a trio of the wierd and awful..

    by Jonah Echo

    Brain Damage, where this kid had a parasitic thing on his back that injected him with some sort of hallucinogenic drug. TerrorVision with a swinger family and a gloopy thing that somehow beamed down through t.v. It had an Elvira-esque show host-Medusa perhaps? Eyes of Fire-oneof the wierdest, crappiest art student-esque excuses for horror I've ever seen. Human trees, phantasmal indians, some wierd celtic chick swimming naked through negative exposure images. Again, anyone?

  • July 2, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Jonah, I do sort of remember TerrorVision though

    by just pillow talk

    Wasn't there some kid that saved the day or something?

  • July 2, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    cheesy action goodness..

    by Jonah Echo

    Eliminators. It had a Mandroid. Tasha Yarr. I think it had ninjas. The Mandroid had his own tank tread he attached to for the difficult stuff. I do believe the sidekick from Big Trouble was in it, and he quite possibly jumped through a moving fan.

  • July 2, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    just pillow

    by Jonah Echo

    kid tried to save the day. the ending was everyone being eaten, child, sitter, horror show host.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    and I think there was a Medusa person

    by just pillow talk

    Why does it concern you so M-O-M? Clearly you are not listening to what people have pointed out to you. <p>Again, for the last time: posters like yourself will have some insightful looks into movies, but what destroys any sort of point to which you are making is HOW YOU GO ABOUT WITH MAKING THAT POINT. Your tone towards other talkbackers is usually condescending in nature, smacking down their opinions because you don't deem 'x' movie worthy of these made-up cinematic holy standards that you seem to think you have. You'll find that those here in this particular thread have a wide range of tastes, from classics to crap to guilty pleasures. <p>As long as one isn't being a prick about it, everyone will listen to someone else's opinion. People may think you're crazy, but will hear ya out. <p>See, your above Cyborg post...can you admit that you had a fun time with a crap movie?

  • July 2, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Danny its..

    by Jonah Echo

    Invaders from mars with Karen Black and it was a remake itself. Both are beautiful cheese.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Well, that's nice. But when your buddy FMB's posts read like a sore, crybaby loser who has to resort to bald-faced lies because he can't seem to get one over on me, it's probably time for him to grab his ball and go home.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by just pillow talk

    See, again, this type of movie used to be on my channel twenty. Don't these little crappy independent stations realize that there now resides a gap in the viewing choices...that of crappy cheese movies?

  • July 2, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    Agreed Just Pillow..

    by Jonah Echo

    I'd be a far poorer person without those saturday afternoon viewings of Tingler, Hell Comes to Frogtown, and Kindred. Note: Tingler is far superior to those other two.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    how about Night of the Comet?

    by just pillow talk

    I would say it's almost on par with Night of the Creeps, though I prefer the camera work on the slugs.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:14 p.m. CST

    You know I wish cheesy schlock..

    by Jonah Echo

    had it's own talkback. XTRO! Zone Troopers! Ghost Warrior, which was basically Ice Man for thawed out samurai.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    NOTC

    by Jonah Echo

    is a ton of fun. I recently reccomended it to a friend who was angry it wasnt a graphic zombie movie and missed the humor of it. I mentioned Zone Troopers before, but I think that was the flick where Tim Thomerson decked Hitler.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    or The Hidden, with Kyle MacLachlan

    by just pillow talk

    or the Piranha movies.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Tim Thomerson...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...now THERE'S a CoC inductee worth considering. <p> "Dry hair is for squids."

  • July 2, 2008, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Doc..

    by Jonah Echo

    you have to see Zone Troopers then..WW2 guys meet up with aliens...the males are basically normal blue guys..excited to see the females, Thomerson realizes the hairy little alien muppet they have been travelling with all along is one of the "women."

  • July 2, 2008, 2:22 p.m. CST

    oh yes...he was in Iron Eagle!

    by just pillow talk

    He's in!

  • July 2, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    The Hidden

    by Jonah Echo

    was an actual good movie, at least I thought so. How bout the whole "seafood" genre from the 80s with alien stuff underwater. Exclude Abyss because it's clearly high calibre, but what about Deepstar Six, Lords of the Deep, Endless Descent and Leviathan?

  • July 2, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Karen Black

    by toadkillerdog

    The Trilogy of Terror! If you have not seen that movie - it was a 70's TV movie. I highly recommend it. Also, The Gargoyle, the 1970's version with Bernie Casey as the gargoyle. That one scared the shit out of the lil toadkiller.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Geekhaterssuck

    by Biggie Kaiju

    It's not potent enough stuff to cause alien hallucinations. Damn; I never thought I'd feel like the weird one in a talkback. Especially since half the shit I read here sounds like it was written either from an asylum or a fucking zoo. I was posting about the Bale interview when I heard about the UFO headline. Apologies for barging in, but it's no bullshit that people locally are freaking out over this. And the world is fucked up; I'm still wrapping my mind around the Russert-Winston-Carlin trifecta of suck. Anyhow, we now resume the regularly scheduled program. Break balls if you must; I've only got an hour until 4:20, and that bong won't clean and pack itself. WATCH THE SKIES!

  • July 2, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    and Tim's got the entire Trancers series..

    by Jonah Echo

  • July 2, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    oh yes..I remember Deepstar Six and Leviathan

    by just pillow talk

    after all, Robocop was in Leviathan.<p>And I do remember the old Gargoyle movie too, not all the shitty sci-fi channel ones they've been pumping out.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    wasn't Ernie Hudson in Leviathan as well?

    by just pillow talk

    That and No Escape. Way to go Ernie!

  • July 2, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Ernie was..

    by Jonah Echo

    and of course he played "The Great White Hunter..except of course, I'm black!" in Congo. <p> And if you want a B-movie MUST SEE, get Of Unknown Origin where RoboCop vs. a giant rat(but not supernaturally large) in his brownstone apartment, no holds barred! <p> Toad Killer, TOT was great. In 96 there was a tv sequel with Lysette Anthony. It sucked until the Zuni doll came back. <p> Other good tv movie with creepy little things terrorizing a woman= Don't Be Afraid of the Dark"

  • July 2, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    no M-O-M

    by just pillow talk

    You are wrong. Since these are opinions on movies, there's not really a 'right' answer, as everyone's tastes differ. However, how it's said makes all the difference in the world. And since you do not care about that particular point, talkbackers will continue to slam you for it.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Yea, years of working at a video store..

    by Jonah Echo

    failed to turn me into a screenwriting prodigy, but between that and a dad who loved watching fantasy, scifi horror stuff, Ive become a W.S.M.D.B.Wierd S%#t Movie Database.If you have any other obscurities, throw em at me. I recall many years ago questioning a movie I thought I made up in my five year old mind involving a mutant bear and giant tadpoles. Turned out it was Frankenheimer's Prophecy.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    ok...

    by just pillow talk

    How about a 1960's horror movie involving creatures that (if I remember correctly) were shaped a little bit like snails that attacked people. Not sure if this was a British movie or not, and if it involved Vincent Price. Again, thanks channel twenty.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Which underwater movie was the one

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Where Miguel Ferrer jumped into the pod without decompressing and exploded on his way to the surface? Wasn't that the same movie the monster came up through the pool (a la Deep Blue Sea) and chomped the guy in half in the diver suit?<p>This TB has me craving 80s cheese. Going to have to watch Commando and I Come In Peace this weekend.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by toadkillerdog

    I mean this with deepest sincerity and envy - you know your schlock!

  • July 2, 2008, 2:51 p.m. CST

    wow...keep winning at life FMG!

    by just pillow talk

  • July 2, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Queefer Bukkake does the angry violent thing

    by just pillow talk

    better than you FMG.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Guess #1

    by Jonah Echo

    Chances are there are more than a few. My first guess would be The Monster that Challenged the World that was an American film, was 1957 or 58, so not full fledged 60s, but it's villains were giant sea snails that attacked people. Here's the link, and Ill search the memory for something else. <p> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050722/

  • July 2, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    FMB

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Quote: "You are so much fun to play with...like a hula-hoop covered in barbed wire."<P>Oookay...so what you're telling me is I'm NOT fun to play with. Because a hula-hoop covered in barbed wire would definitely cut you, dude.<P>Geezus! Is this a put on? Are you really this dumb? Everytime you try to insult me, you fail.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Quartemas?

    by toadkillerdog

    No, those were more like locusts

  • July 2, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian

    by Jonah Echo

    That one was Deepstar Six.. with a giant crab that looked more like a giant crap.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Now FMB resorts to threats of physical violence.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    How cute.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    nope, it wasn't that Jonah

    by just pillow talk

    But that movie jogs my memory, and I do remember seeing that gem as well.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    hehehe...

    by just pillow talk

    FMG, I live in CT.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    round and round we go M-O-M

    by just pillow talk

    We'll just agree that you'll never see my point, ok?

  • July 2, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    Island of Terror is my guess #2, Just Pillow

    by Jonah Echo

    I recall this one, it was british, from the mid 60s I'd guestimate, and in my memory the monsters werent exactly snails, but snail/leech-like and they sucked their victims dry to husks. Does this sound right?

  • July 2, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    FMB

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Quote: "That wasn't a threat...that was a fact."<P>Thanks. That's all we needed.

  • July 2, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    holy shit...I think you're right Jonah

    by just pillow talk

    Let me take a look. And I think I was wrong, not Vincent, but Peter Cushing.

  • July 2, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    damn Jonah!

    by just pillow talk

    That be the movie. Your jedi powers are strong indeed.

  • July 2, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    and heres the IMDB link..

    by Jonah Echo

    just went here to check my facts. It looks like it could be the movie you mentioned. No Price though. <p> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060548/

  • July 2, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    FMG

    by just pillow talk

    You can swing by New Canaan where I work then. There's a Dunkin Donuts and a Starbucks, whichever one floats your boat.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    FMB = TOTAL FUCKING LOSER

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Anybody that resorts to threats of physical violence on a messageboard needs to pack it up and go home.<P>FMB - do yourself a favor and STOP. Just stop.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    awesome...

    by Jonah Echo

    best part of that old high school gig at the video store was being able to pinpoint stuff people vaguely recalled but couldnt find. Keep em coming.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    OK, here's a tough one. I saw this movie when I was 6-7 years old and it was a B&W oldie. I thought it had Vincent Price in it but I don't see any titles on IMDB that ring a bell. The premise, near as I can remember, was a bunch of people at a castle/mansion being terrorized by an invisible monster. The one scene that gave me nightmares for years was a guy being killed in a cave by this thing and his blood curdling screams. Any of this ring a bell? I'd give my left nut to watch it again to see the movie that gave me a fear of the dark for years.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:03 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by just pillow talk

    It's not the 'how' that's necessarily more important, but it can totally ruin the 'what' since it will distract, for lack of a better term, whomever is reading what you wrote.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    i'm off home now

    by just pillow talk

    Impressive, most impressive Jonah.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian

    by Jonah Echo

  • July 2, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Devin Faraci: King of the Big Wet Pussy Farts

    by TheLastCleric

    What a little douche. He's posted yet another editorial where he attacks some other movie reviewer for calling TDK revolutionary. Devin then proceeds to write a ridiculously long diatribe as to why he's so much smarter than this guy and pretty much everyone else on planet earth. Then he tries some damage control by claiming that TDK is actually a good film and suggests it will earn around the same score as Spiderman 3. Wow, what a big man, huh? Seriously, is this guy being paid off by a rival studio? The best part of his editorial was when he asks who the hell this reviewer is, as if Devin Faraci is a household name.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian

    by Jonah Echo

    My guess is it's Dr. Orloff's Invisible Horror from the 70s. Price wasnt in it, but it did have an invisible monster, a dark castle, and I think a cave scene. Does that seem likely?

  • July 2, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    wait, you said black and white..

    by Jonah Echo

    let me try again.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Dr. Orloff looks to be nude-a-riffic

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    So I don't think it was that one. If it helps, they showed the monster walking by having his feet press into the sand. At the time it was the coolest effect I'd ever seen.<p>What would really suck is if I was imagining all this and had nightmares until I was 10 for nothing.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    entire lost print of Metropolis found!

    by wash

    http://tinyurl.com/5g9ykf<br><br> This is the coolest damn news in a LONG time.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by toadkillerdog

    Ok, this one has been bugging me all day, it was an early 80's low budget sci-fi. I think the action took place on a ship, but might have been a planet - sort of an Alien ripoff, it had a crewmemeber that mutated (I think) and started killing everyone onboard. Some good gore, and a decent story too. Ok, not a lot to go on, and I may be able to find it on my own - I think I have it on VHS in a box somewhare at home.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Bottom line on M-O-M:

    by DocPazuzu

    We always understand what he means even if we disagree with him, but he categorically cannot comprehend what we are saying.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    FuckMichaelBay...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...likes to molest crack babies. It's true, his mom told me, and would a mother as loving as FuckMichaelBay's lie?

  • July 2, 2008, 3:24 p.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    So while looking up this Orloff movie, I saw someone else mention Sound of Horror and that might actually be the one. The whole thing takes place in a cave apparently so I don't know where the castle thing came from. If it is the one then you're a master because you hit even when you miss.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Toad Killer

    by Jonah Echo

    My first guess with your stumper is "Creature" and it had, I think, Klaus Kinski in the cast. It was totally an alien ripoff. Im not sure if the crewmember mutated or not, but it's the most likely choice barring something SUPER obscure. <p> Hawaiian, I might be temporarily stumped, but I'll find it. My only guess now would be a really cheap early 60s black and white flick called The Sound of Horror(or at least that's what it translated to, as I think it was a greek film). That cheesy mess had people being killed off by what I seem to recall was an invisible tyranosaur, but it made some bizarre screeching before it mauled people. I remember a cave, but maybe not a castle. And from your description I was thinking the creature to be more humanoid, but maybe not.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian, I swear I posted that..

    by Jonah Echo

    before I saw your new post.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Jonah

    by toadkillerdog

    Nope, thats not it. There were no 'name' actors in it. I am pretty sure it was 82 or 83. R rated. They may have been military. Dang it! I will be rumaging through boxes tonight looking for the VHS.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    Danny

    by Jonah Echo

    where you can purchase invaders from mars with another 80s schlocker(thats fun) on there as well:(its the second choice). <p> http://search.deepdiscount.com/search?w=invaders%20from%20mars&

  • July 2, 2008, 3:34 p.m. CST

    Jonah

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I'm betting that's the movie. Now if I can just find a copy. You really are a god.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:37 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian

    by Jonah Echo

    Type it's name into IMDB. The pic that accompanies it is of one of those 50 or 100 horror movie collections that you can usually pick up for 15 or 20 dollars. They have a ton of usually fun schlock(though poor quality transfers and some movies are too horrible to actually finish) but there it is.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST

    Toadkiller

    by Jonah Echo

    Ill be back later, hopefully with the name of your mystery movie. Here is the link to creature though. Aside from Kinski no known actors. 80s turned out alot of ripoffs so there is plenty to go around, Im sure. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088961/

  • July 2, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST

    See? What did I tell you.

    by DocPazuzu

    M-O-M thinks it has to do with prose or language skills.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:40 p.m. CST

    see you all later...hope this TB is still going..

    by Jonah Echo

    enjoying the schlock-back.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    Every so often, AICN is due for a Talkbacker Meltdown.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    I'm so glad I was here to witness this one.<P>Well done, FMB. You've managed to troll Moriarty's TDK review TB with nary a thing to say. You've also managed to incorporated threats of physical violence and provide an address for such an occurence. You've joined an elite club of Talkbackers who have all self-destructed right before our very eyes.<P>I've got to hand it to you, FMB. I didn't think you had it in ya.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Jonah

    by toadkillerdog

    No problem. You did great. Very impressive.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Jonah - I found it

    by toadkillerdog

    It was called: Forbidden World.

  • July 2, 2008, 3:56 p.m. CST

    I'm outta here

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    If this TB is still going strong tomorrow, this is where I'll post my daily diary about the effects of Cruzan rum on Asian violence.<p>Have a good evening, y'all. Thanks for the entertainment.

  • July 2, 2008, 4:04 p.m. CST

    First five minutes are up again here:

    by GQtaste

    http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/entertainment_movies_blog/2008/07/dark-knight-the.html

  • July 2, 2008, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Toadkiller

    by Jonah Echo

    On the way home two movies occured to me..one was Creepazoid(though it was on earth) with a cool cheesy cover and Forbidden something(I knew it wasn't Forbidden Planet) and this one had some sloggish alien thing in the midst of consuming or mating with a human woman. Looks like Forbidden World was it. Kudos. It was starting to bother me too.

  • July 2, 2008, 4:56 p.m. CST

    How bout putting all this energy to a good cause..

    by Jonah Echo

    and finding some way to get Joe Dante's Matinee re-released on dvd in a format that isnt only available for a 100 dollars on ebay. Seriously, how do we sort this out?

  • July 2, 2008, 5:27 p.m. CST

    thanks FMB

    by Jonah Echo

    Ill check it out.

  • July 2, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    Guys, here's what your up against FuckMichaelBay

    by Kloipy

    watch out, he cries...often<p> http://tinyurl.com/2c88xs

  • July 2, 2008, 6 p.m. CST

    FUCK ALL YALL

    by Prossor

    YOR ALL GAY

  • July 2, 2008, 6:02 p.m. CST

    no one should be ashamed of Creepshow, Tom

    by Kloipy

    that is classic King + Romero beauty!<p> I guess it could use robots though

  • July 2, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Ok. Guys, Here's what you are up against with FuckMichaelBay

    by Kloipy

    watch out, he cries...often<p> http://tinyurl.com/2c88xs<p> Also, I highly doubt you smoke the sticky icky

  • July 2, 2008, 6:08 p.m. CST

    also FMB, who cares if you smoke pot

    by Kloipy

    Who hasn't? and if you did smoke, you probably wouldn't tell anyone just to make yourself seem cool. Real smokers would just laugh at you

  • July 2, 2008, 6:09 p.m. CST

    I'm an OG Warciple, and MNG is fucking cool as shit

    by Kloipy

    he did the Cthulhu dance dude. Respect it

  • July 2, 2008, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Well we do hail from Perfection, Nevada

    by Kloipy

    I think we would know

  • July 2, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    I know, I rule

    by Kloipy

  • July 2, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST

    FMB, that's because I'm the Kwisatz Haderach of Graboids

    by Kloipy

    read it and weep

  • July 2, 2008, 6:25 p.m. CST

    and here's the verification of that fact.

    by Kloipy

    this is what the kids are saying<p> http://tinyurl.com/3rudpw

  • July 2, 2008, 7:48 p.m. CST

    TomBodet

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    What's up you crazy bastard?<P>Yeah, FMB appears to still be at it. Can you believe this guy?! It's like he thinks he's Jar Jar 4 Prez, po'warrior, Gabriel Gray or some shit. I know we've seen some fantastic trolls on AICN. But this guy's troll-fu is so weak it's sad to watch. Which is funny.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:52 p.m. CST

    Kloipy

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Hail, Warciple! Thanks buddy and kudos to you. FMB thinks he smells a coup. I think I smell a Pencil Jihad agains you know who...<P>Oh, and Sho Kosugi for the CoC. Make it so!

  • July 2, 2008, 7:52 p.m. CST

    That's "against". Sorry.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

  • July 2, 2008, 7:54 p.m. CST

    WOW!!!!!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Talk about creepy! Were you sitting at your computer, hitting the F5 key over and over just waiting to see if I would post?!?!<P>FUCKING PATHETIC, FMB! FUCKING PATHETIC.

  • July 2, 2008, 7:57 p.m. CST

    "You have such a loyal following."

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Sucks to be you then, eh?<P>Goodnight, loser. Have fun talking to yourself.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:02 p.m. CST

    NO. You were waiting for me. That's painfully obvious.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    So sad.<P>Ciao!

  • July 2, 2008, 8:16 p.m. CST

    Mystery movie Try this

    by Maceox

    80's movie. Everybody is on roller skates. Thay have magic powers which when activated have little wal-mart like smiley faces as fx. In one scene they go through a cave filled with snakes which look a lotlike sock puppets. Name the movie. We rented from a 7 eleven type store.

  • July 2, 2008, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Gayus Dr. Gaius Dr. Gaius

    by Prossor

    DOCTOR GAIUS

  • July 2, 2008, 10:16 p.m. CST

    Maceox the movie..

    by Jonah Echo

    is Solar Babies

  • July 2, 2008, 10:34 p.m. CST

    Echo

    by Maceox

    Wow just fucking wow! You my friend are a b-movie god. That movie should have never seen the light of day, but two of it waatched it. Wow. My hat is doffed in your general direction.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Maceox..

    by Jonah Echo

    Ive seen alot more than B-movies, but really they make the best conversation pieces for two reasons-usually they are so obscure and crazy that even seeing them or recalling them feels like a fever dream and 2) they are usually a good unifying point, it's not recounting some obscure foreign film you sought after and might come off as snobbery, or it's the latest host of subjective opinions about a blockbuster, but rather these are films that are mutually admired or sought after simply because they exist when they probably shouldnt and some part of them, even just their notion, once entertained us. I love all kinds of film, but this particular brand makes for discussion I genuinely enjoy.

  • July 2, 2008, 10:41 p.m. CST

    Anyone got any other obscure movies they are looking for?

    by Jonah Echo

  • July 2, 2008, 10:44 p.m. CST

    Echo well spoken

    by Maceox

    My best friend and I bet that he could not pick a good Sci/Fi movie if his life depended on it(actually it was a twelve pack of Michelobe Dark)he chose solar babies and he bought the beer. What is funny though is that we still both remember that movie. And we talk about it nostalgicly. I think you have a point. We have seen much better(much much much better movies together) but we always return to that bad piece of crap that was so much fun. Thanks echo!

  • July 2, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST

    It's kind of amazing he chose Solar Babies..

    by Jonah Echo

    as far as I can tell, it doesn't have anything going for it even with it's title cover art and image. I can understand picking it up for a night of humor, but when you are commissioned to pick a good one? Ha! <p> My brother is like that. Sent him to the video store once to rent the Fraser Mummy when it first came out and he came back, purposefully, with Tale of the Mummy by Russel Mulcahy. My bet is that we had more fun with that one than the movie he was supposed to get. I definitely think there is more legitimate entertainment value in The Mummy, but the case can be made for Tale too, as it has the mummy's bandages doing the dirty work, and only slowly becoming the actual mummy. It was inept, but we felt refreshed and it was a cool connective moment for our family at a time when things were kind of tense. Now there are plenty of other things that do that well and better, but for a puny B movie to do that, I find that cool.

  • July 2, 2008, 11:09 p.m. CST

    He really tried

    by Maceox

    Which is sad. he could not pick a good movie if his life depended on it. To this day if he says I have GOT to see a movie, I do miss it.(unless I got a twelve pack of Michelobe in me). What is interesting though is the thought that the environment you see a movie in has such an effect on the movie. I do not remember 3/4 of the movies I saw in the 80's but Solarbabies(eventhugh I did not know its name) is burned into my memory.

  • July 3, 2008, 12:56 a.m. CST

    re M-O-M & FuckMichaelBay

    by DocPazuzu

    If you will notice, M-O-M's relationship to FuckMichaelBay is very much like his relationship to certain directors and films. If they correspond to his criteria for "good" or "quality", nothing will convince him that they have any flaws. Simply because FuckMichaelBay has the username he does, M-O-M thinks he's cool, clever and witty. Never mind that he's a grenade-tossing troll of the worst order -- no, no, no, as long as he has the name he does, he's an upstanding dude. <p> Sad. Hobo fucking clown sad.

  • July 3, 2008, 2:25 a.m. CST

    And if you think...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...M-O-M's support of FuckMeMichaelBay is sad, just wait and watch him defend Quentin Tarantino if the rumors about him wanting to remake Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill! with Tera Patrick are true.

  • July 3, 2008, 2:27 a.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by DocPazuzu

    Belated kudos to you. You have won the internets and taken the glory from the field with your mad schlock movie skills! I am truly impressed.

  • July 3, 2008, 2:35 a.m. CST

    ( . Y . )

    by Prossor

  • July 3, 2008, 2:53 a.m. CST

    Memories you cunt

    by Lost Jarv

    How many fucking times do we have to spell it out for you? <P>Pillows has tried to put it nicely to you, and I've put it bluntly on more than one occasion. Why do you not understand that you could be talking about giving money to save orphans, but if you talk to people the way you do you people will always just think you are a massive obnoxious prick. Which you are. <P>And I note you have some buddies so aren't slinking away. Grow a pair, ladyboy. <P>And Echo, I'm very impressed at your knowledge of excellent b-movie nonsense. <p>P.S. Leviathan is the shit. <p>P.P.S. So is Dark Angel.

  • July 3, 2008, 3:01 a.m. CST

    Leviathan IS the shit.

    by DocPazuzu

    Love Crenna's delivery when he comes into the kitchen, late for the crew meeting and says: <p> "Ah, Thompson. Table for one. Not too close to the orchestra." <p> Shame, though, that Lisa Eilbacher never got 'em out. She was teh hot in the '80s...

  • July 3, 2008, 3:50 a.m. CST

    I may lovefilm that one as well

    by Lost Jarv

    I've got the awesomeness of Carradine in The Sorceress coming. <P>The good Mrs. Jarv is getting a bit pissy at me about it.

  • July 3, 2008, 3:55 a.m. CST

    It took me 3 days to read that

    by Orionsangels

    I have dyslexia

  • July 3, 2008, 3:59 a.m. CST

    Surely...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...The Car is due before that? <p> "HONK-HONK-HONK - HOOOOONNNK!!!"

  • July 3, 2008, 4:01 a.m. CST

    So I watched Lifeforce

    by PacmanFever

    It has style and some neat touches, and it's certainly nice to see a film where aliens attack somewhere outside the US for once, but I would struggle to call it a "good" film. But I wouldn't call it a "good-bad" film either, a lot of it is quite tedious.

  • July 3, 2008, 4:49 a.m. CST

    Yes, but the wife had manipulated the list again

    by Lost Jarv

    she just missed the Sorcereress. it took me ages to fix.

  • July 3, 2008, 4:50 a.m. CST

    Way up above somebody mentioned Tim Thomerson

    by Xiphos_2

    If only Hollywood could get Tim Thomerson, Jeff Fahey and Michael Beihn together in one film then all the multipal sins of Hollywood would be forgiven

  • July 3, 2008, 4:51 a.m. CST

    More on memories=aresepiece

    by Lost Jarv

    Furthermore, Even if you did write prose that would make Shakespeare cry from beyond the grave, and had staggering insights delivered with a wit that would make Oscar Wilde sell his left kidney, it would be irrelevant. As long as you keep using the tone you use you will forever be a cunt. <P>And how the fuck are we the "Axis of PC lameness"? What the fuck is politically correct about us? <P>You and you're little wank buddy up there are beneath contempt.

  • July 3, 2008, 5:55 a.m. CST

    prettybaby

    by DocPazuzu

    You soulless spamtard. Take your lame attempts to get us to your site and go gargle some razor blades. <p> Just when I had purged that "gallerie schappe" asshole from my mind...

  • July 3, 2008, 6:09 a.m. CST

    thanks prettybaby

    by Kloipy

    Let's all of us never visit that site<p> Jonah, you rock man

  • July 3, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    FMB

    by just pillow talk

    Such a little pussy. Still winning at life I see? <p>And you must be Jar Jar or someone of that ilk to harp on MNG so much. Pathetic.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    prettybaby - go fuck yourself

    by just pillow talk

    Good to see ya posting Kloipy!

  • July 3, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Hawiian - Dragon Tiger Gate

    by just pillow talk

    Wasn't THAT bad. I preferred the fight in the ball park vs. the last fight, which was too comic booky (I realize that the movie was based upon one, but up until that point the fighting was sort of/semi/partially realistic.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:31 a.m. CST

    It's been way too long since I've been in here on a day

    by Kloipy

    You ever see Severance Pillow?

  • July 3, 2008, 6:34 a.m. CST

    no, I haven't see that Kloipy

    by just pillow talk

    Is it any good?

  • July 3, 2008, 6:36 a.m. CST

    so far so good

    by Kloipy

    I'm watching it on Netflix right now.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:39 a.m. CST

    some early morning killings....

    by just pillow talk

    who needs caffeine.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:40 a.m. CST

    exactly, and there was even a bear in the movie

    by Kloipy

    it didn't kill anyone...yet

  • July 3, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    Jarv, I've got This is England coming up next

    by just pillow talk

    Also 10,000 BC...I've got my fingers crossed for the trainwreck I'm hoping I'll witness.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:44 a.m. CST

    that bear better maul someone

    by just pillow talk

    Instant bonus points for that.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:44 a.m. CST

    Woot!

    by Lost Jarv

    Server fixed, quota time avoided, I can now spend the rest of the day discussing garbage and slapping memories around. <P>By the way, did you see Octagonproplex in that other thread- His best 10 of horror list was laughably bad- Bram Stoker's Dracula?

  • July 3, 2008, 6:45 a.m. CST

    This is England is great

    by Lost Jarv

    Really, really good. A bit bleak though.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:45 a.m. CST

    which thread? blue-ray? bond?

    by just pillow talk

    Perhaps he was joking.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:46 a.m. CST

    Brother Kloipy!

    by Lost Jarv

    THere has been many a shitheel polluting the boards recently, <P>I hope your out of open plan hell now.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:46 a.m. CST

    Ratner

    by Lost Jarv

    I couldn't believe the stupidity of that thread

  • July 3, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    Nolan and Bale NEED to do a Batman/Superman film

    by Cannabis Holocaust

    Seeing as how The Dark Knight is being hailed as the pinnacle of the genre, it could be almost impossible for a 3rd film to match or surpass it. (most superhero franchises get stale by the 3rd film anyway) In order for the sequel to stay just as fresh, they really need to shake things up. It would be a perfect fit for Nolan. There's an infinite amount of psychology and subtext he could explore through these 2 characters and their opposing viewpoints, methodology, camaraderie, antagonism, etc. There's really no reason NOT for them do it.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:48 a.m. CST

    Bram Stoker's Dracula is shit execept for Oldman

    by Kloipy

    Keanu- oh no, it's Dracula! Woah!

  • July 3, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Yeah, I read those threads on Pillows suggestion

    by Kloipy

    What some people consider 'classic' is beyond me

  • July 3, 2008, 6:50 a.m. CST

    Fuck no

    by Lost Jarv

    Keep Superman away. Let singer work out his issues on it.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:54 a.m. CST

    just took a gander at his list

    by just pillow talk

    I would probably leave Psycho and Jaws on the list. I'm not a big horror fan, but those others, while good movies to varying degrees, I wouldn't quantify them as 'great' horror movies. The Descent was a great horror movie.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:56 a.m. CST

    I find it more appalling to see that Salemslut

    by just pillow talk

    thinks Raging Bull and The Wild Bunch are the most overrated movies of all time. Hey, they're probably not my favorite movies in their respective genres, but fuck, those are some great movies.

  • July 3, 2008, 6:58 a.m. CST

    Singer might be off the franchise

    by Cannabis Holocaust

    http://www.superherohype.com/news/supermannews.php?id=7431

  • July 3, 2008, 6:59 a.m. CST

    this movie is pretty funny

    by Kloipy

    all these people are eating and the one guy pulls a tooth out of his mouth.and he's like 'it's not mine', then their boss is like "it's just a clove'

  • July 3, 2008, 7:02 a.m. CST

    LOL Kloipy

    by just pillow talk

    Actually, I shouldn't laugh...it happens all the time in our cafeteria. <p>Our kitchen should really be shutdown.

  • July 3, 2008, 7:05 a.m. CST

    true story

    by Kloipy

    there was a little italian shop down the road from my old house, and the one day I got a meatball sub, and I shit you not, I bit into it and found a tooth inside. and it also wasn't mine, and it also wasnt a fucking clove

  • July 3, 2008, 7:19 a.m. CST

    talk about giving up a bit of yourself

    by just pillow talk

    for your craft..

  • July 3, 2008, 7:19 a.m. CST

    True story

    by Lost Jarv

    I once got half a rat in a kebab

  • July 3, 2008, 7:19 a.m. CST

    where the hell is Abom?

    by just pillow talk

  • July 3, 2008, 7:21 a.m. CST

    you shouldn't have ordered special #4

    by just pillow talk

    And they really screwed you over by not giving you a whole rat. Cheap.

  • July 3, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    I'm glad it was only a tooth

    by Kloipy

    could have been way worse I assume

  • July 3, 2008, 7:28 a.m. CST

    Guess which half?

    by Lost Jarv

    Although I'm not sure there is a better half in this case

  • July 3, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    maybe you got Capone's tooth

    by just pillow talk

    since he lost them from Hancock.<p>Once you say "half a rat", the "rat" part pretty much signifies a really, really, really bad half.

  • July 3, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    I'm guessing the ass end

    by Kloipy

    cause if you have to eat rat, someone's got to give you the shit end

  • July 3, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    yup

    by Lost Jarv

    Least it was only winking at me.

  • July 3, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    did you get the tail too?

    by just pillow talk

    something to floss with...

  • July 3, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    Hola Warciples

    by toadkillerdog

    Ready for another day of shitheel smiting?

  • July 3, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    I recall the Car..but what about

    by Jonah Echo

    Wheels of Terror. A crazy kid-stealing vehicular nightmare that just kept coming. Because the door would actually open and take the kids I always supposed someone was inside. I'm not sure that was the movie's intention though, despite the fact you could see the driver clearly through the windshield.

  • July 3, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    Any theatrical suggestions guys?

    by Jonah Echo

    My wife and I have the day off here, and were hoping to go hang down in the city and catch a movie. Over the long weekend we usually catch 2 or 3 films. Wall-E is tomorrow with my family and 4 year old nephew. I've already seen Hulk, Narnia, Iron Man, Indy 4,Mongol, The Happening(WHY??), The Fall(easily the best of summer so far) and Speed Racer. <p> So, the stuff Im considering is Hancock, Wanted, Get Smart, Kung-Fu Panda or the art theater is showing The Promotion, Up the Yhangzee and The Visitor. <p> Any suggestions from those guys?

  • July 3, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    no- just the stump

    by Lost Jarv

    which makes me think some fucking degenerate chopped it in 3. <P>You know, they love rat kebabs in Oporto. Which may explain what is wrong with him. Not a lot of vitamins in rat.

  • July 3, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    What a shitty selection

    by Lost Jarv

    Go to the pub. Frankly. None of those are worth spending the cash on,

  • July 3, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Jonah

    by toadkillerdog

    No suggestions from me on the theatricals, I am curious if what you thought about Speed Racer. I enjoyed the hell out of it.

  • July 3, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    and it is on

    by Kloipy

  • July 3, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    My dog loves tennis

    by toadkillerdog

    It is just so weird I had to mention it - ok, back to the movies.

  • July 3, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Salemslut

    by just pillow talk

    I apologize profusely.

  • July 3, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Jonah

    by DocPazuzu

    Are you familiar with a film called The Bermuda Depths?

  • July 3, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    yeah, none of your options Jonah sounds appealing

    by just pillow talk

    to me either.

  • July 3, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Jonah Echo

    by Rickey Henderson

    Kung-Fu Panda wasn't all that bad actually. A well made flick, not on the same level as Wall-E, but pretty good nonetheless. Mongol is supposed to be pretty damned good, but it's not fmaily fare. If you're near a city that's showing it, Herzog's Encounters at the End of the Earh is absolutely staggering. Rickey can't recommend it strongly enough.

  • July 3, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    is the IMAX prologue in the movie?

    by pjvader

    i know it wasnt supposed to be but the bluray says its the 1st 6 minutes of the movie and damn its looks amazing! if u wanna show off your HD this is the 6 minutes to do it with and its an excellent scen too to boot!

  • July 3, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    It's nice to be able to type "fuck" for a change

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Can't be doing that shit at work.<p>So I'm back from the dentist and I have my rum (and all that nutmeg, pineapple stuff one of you gods recommended) so it's time to get the day started.<p>First up looks to be Three Kingdoms with Sammo Hung and Maggie Q.<p>Jonah, it's been said before but I'll mention it again, you rock. Love your b-movie grey mater database. I agree with Jarv and JPT, hit the pub instead and have some wheat beer and clams.<p>Pillow, glad you found Tiger Gate enjoyable. Maybe I would have too if I just hadn't come off watching Kill Zone so I was expecting another Donnie Yen classic.<p>OK, that's the sound of me cracking the seal. I'll keep checking in.

  • July 3, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    10,000 BC almost made my wife a widow

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I have the scars on my wrists to prove it. Please avoid like a leper giving out free hand jobs. I'd rather hang my frank and beans in front of a junkyard dog that someone was poking with a stick all day than watch that steaming turd again.

  • July 3, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Rent In Bruges

    by HoboCode

    God damn hilarious.

  • July 3, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    If you still can, avoid renting 30 DAYS OF NIGHT.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Dreadful.

  • July 3, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    In Bruges

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Was awesome. The scene with the American tourist made me crying.<p>30 Days of Night had one good scene. Vampire, meet industrial shredder.

  • July 3, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    the worst thing about 30 Days of Night

    by Kloipy

    is that it started off well, and then just got worse and worse and again, worse

  • July 3, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    HOD

    by HoboCode

    Yeah that was funny. I like the extra dig at the end when the two guys can't go up in the tower because the guy says it's "closed because an American had a heart attack yesterday." LOL

  • July 3, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    30 Days of Night

    by HoboCode

    All style and no substance.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Kloipy and HoboCode

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    No doubt. Kind of a shame, too. The premise had great horror potential and the film looked great. (That overhead tracking shot that follows the carnage throughout the town was well done.) However, once the vampires actually appear, it becomes an jumbled mess.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    "a" not "an". Damn typos.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

  • July 3, 2008, 10:07 a.m. CST

    MNG

    by Kloipy

    I loved the way the vamps looked and moved, just cool as hell. I think when the girl vampire came in the movie really lost me. It did have a cool beheading, but just such a let down.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:07 a.m. CST

    and yet I must still watch 10,000 BC

    by just pillow talk

    Your condemnation of it has given me the hope that I only dreamed of...<p>In Bruges is on my list, but the fucking thing keeps tell me "short wait"...pissing me off.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST

    and I look at it this way, starting with DTG

    by just pillow talk

    start from the bottom up.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by Kloipy

    I do fear that 10,000BC won't be fun bad, but just bad bad

  • July 3, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST

    one must walk through the darkness

    by just pillow talk

    to get to the light sometimes.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    very true my friend

    by Kloipy

  • July 3, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    it makes a warciple stronger

    by just pillow talk

    part of the necessary training to conduct pencil jihad.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Overhead tracking shot in 30 Days

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Was actually pretty masterful. I had forgotten about that. As if a genie told the director I'm going to give you 30 seconds of inspiration.<p>This rum is tasty!<p>Watched The Bank Job last night. Talk about piss poor editing.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST

    no go with Bank Job?

    by just pillow talk

    I've got that in my queue somewhere down the line.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    I almost rented 30 Days Of Night yesterday

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Is it really no good? I like the concept, but it's out-weighed by the Josh Hartnett-ness of it. I may give it a go if anyone has anything decent to say about it.<p>I really should have been renting Definitely, Maybe as suggested by Mr Pillow Talk, but I chickened out. I just couldn't do it. Instead, I went for a double bill of two films that sounded similar - Rambo and Juno - but which turned out to be quite different. One was about a deeply violent old man, while the other was about a deeply irritating young woman.<p>What else is good? I've been through all the telly DVDs I wanted to watch at the local Blockbuster, so I'm back on a film watching kick again. All suggestions are greatfully received.

  • July 3, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Give us more on The Bank Job, Hawaiian

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    That was another one I considered before settling on the phonetic yin and yang double whammy. I like Statham (he's the Transporter!), but it's not like he has a great track record for picking projects.

  • July 3, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    HOD

    by toadkillerdog

    Twas I that recommended the painkiller - rum,coco lopex, pieapple and orange juice with nutmeg on top. BTW is Flashpoint any good?

  • July 3, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    I'd rather french kiss Hannibal Lecter

    by Lost Jarv

    than watch 30 days of shite again. One of the worst films I saw last near. <P>What the fuck is with Screeching Vampires? Do they hunt by fucking echo location now?

  • July 3, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    thought I would share this...

    by just pillow talk

    There's this HR troll whom was recently hired, that quite frankly, scares the beejeebus out of me.<p>Well "it" is the only thing I've ever seen order an entree and a sandwich. Today she orders two sandwiches.<p>If I sit in the cafeteria, she's back in five minutes flat with an empty dish. Then she heads straight for the vending machine and gets two things there. <p>This...thing...is unstoppable.<p>To top it off, she looks like a slightly slimmer version of The Bates, but with glasses....

  • July 3, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by toadkillerdog

    My guess is that she has a symbiote growing out of her chest - ala Total Recall. Avoid her at all costs, she probably has hypmotizin powers too!

  • July 3, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by toadkillerdog

    My guess is that she has a symbiote growing out of her chest - ala Total Recall. Avoid her at all costs, she probably has hypmotizin powers too!

  • July 3, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Okay, that is a strong NO from Jarv

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Thanks, Jarv.<p>Anyone else care to counter? I have £3.95 up for grabs, and I need to know which films deserve my hard earned money. I am, unfortunately, incapable of making these difficult decisions alone and I rely heacvily on the guidance of the Ain't It Cool community.

  • July 3, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    oh shit Pillow, I was afraid this would happen

    by Kloipy

    the bates is replicating

  • July 3, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Wow a double post - my first and I have no clue how i did it

    by toadkillerdog

    I have already made one airport run today - picking up relatives. have another later in evening. Now, just kicking back making double posts

  • July 3, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    I was going to suggest she was an Edgar Bug

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Much like the Edgar Bug from Men In Black.<p>Have you thoroughly checked her skin, jpt? If it appears loose and/or baggy, you may be in the midst of an alien insect infestation and will require the services of Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, and possibly John Goodman out of Arachnophobia.

  • July 3, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Frank-trust us, don't waste your time

    by Kloipy

    you might get 20 minutes into it and think "those guys don't know what they are talking about' and then it will go downhill fast.

  • July 3, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    my theory is that The Bates is much like the...

    by just pillow talk

    Cloverfield monster. Shit falls off of her, and they end up being mini Bates thingies that consume anything and everything.<p>I swear this HR troll eats children on their way home from school.

  • July 3, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Frankie - I don't ever get that close