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Baz's AUSTRALIA test screens where TITANIC had it's first screening! Same results? Let's see...
Hey folks, Harry here - eons ago at this same venue - James Cameron tested his epic, TITANIC, and we got an assload of reviews of the film that would go on to become the highest grossing film in the history of cinema. That was co-released by FOX and PARAMOUNT - this is FOX solo - and is AUSTRALIA that type of film? Well, it is definitely going to want a run on Oscar. And the film is apparently of extremely high quality as well as being melodramatic. Well - screw it - let's get on with the review, which has spoilers, and see what the gentleman thought...
hello from the sin-twities. Just got back from our lovely Mall of America-n idiots, where i saw a new movie that isn't out yet and not coming out even this summer I don't think. We got passes handed out on Saturday for a free film on sunday, but it didn't say what it was. I thought maybe it was for Handcock, but it wasn't, it was a movie about Australia that I never heard of. It wasn't what I expected by we were there so we stayed and guess what....... It was actually really cool. i had to sign some 6 paragraph legal bullshit but i will not be stopped!
They said in the beginning that it wasn't finished, and you could see where there were some paintings in it and some computer looking drawn stuff that moved that I assume is all special effects that weren't in the film. And some of the music was from gone wth the wind (no shit), so that couldn't be it im sure, but anyway it didn't matter really to the expierence of the movie, which as i said, was really special. For sure, the first words that will come out about this film are "old school" or "they don't make em like this anymore", but they do-- and this is it. And people are going to dig it because its not like anything I can think of ive seen in a long time. It's a big, epic, love story set in Australia in WW2 when the japs attacked the country (I guess), but that is really more about this black native kid that gets taken away by the government and the fight to get him back.
Anyway, I had not heard anything about the movie so I came into this pretty blank. It stars Nicole Kidman as an uptight British Lady and Hugh Jackman as a rugged horseman so mysterious and solitary he goes solely by the name The Drover.
There is A LOT of plot so if you don't care, skip this, but the story is pretty rich. Lady Ashley comes from england to see her husband in Australia and has to be escorted from the main town area to their cattle ranch by Drover, who is like the classic Eastwood character; clearly an honorable soul but refuses to live by anyones rules and annoyed that he has to cart around this prissy city chick. They are instantly at each other's throats, her thinking he's a crass, unwashed heathen (he kinda is) and him thinking she's a haughty bitch (she definitely is). But things change when they get to their destination. her husband's been murdered and a big time cattle man is stealing her cattle and her ranch is nearly bankrupt. Here's where they meet the aboriginal boy on the land who she kind of falls in love with and becomes a mother figure to. So lady ashley and the drover and the little kid and his aunt (?) plus the drovers 2 friends have to drive a heard of cattle across some desert that's never been crossed to the town in order to save her ranch. this is actually much more interesting and cool than it sounds. And not to be bitchy (as I said some of the effects were not done yet), but there is a stampede scene in the middle of the cattle drive that was SOOOOO unfinished it was laughable, in fact I heard some chuckles rising up around me. But whatever, I would have been pissed if it weren't free.
cinematography is really amazing and every scene of the film looks like a painting. its truly beautiful to look at. as you might expect the tension between lady ashley and the drover begins to melt away and they start to fall for each other.
Kidman is perfect for this part and shes really great in it. It's very easy to buy her as stuck-up and snooty at the start, but she does open up to us and makes you care about her and her struggle. it doesnt hurt that she stands up for the aboriginals (who are the australian version of black people in the 1950s) against the asshole white guys who work for the bigtime cattle baron.
As for Hugh Jackman, I only know him from being Wolverine but he has a real Clark Gable/clint Eastwood vibe going on. He obviously has the physicality and physique to pull off this rugged Marlboro Man character, but it turns out its his emotion and his charm that really get you. He feels like a real movie star movie star in it.. But The little kid playing the aborigine boy is the one who steals the movie and actually gives a great performance which is rare for a kid actor..
so they successfully get their cattle to the town and theres a big celebration where hugh gets all cleaned up in a white tux and him and lady ashley and the kid get to go back to faraway downs and live happily ever after like a married couple with a kid. you think this is the happy ending of the movie, (and after 2 hours it sure felt like the end) but you'd be wrong., just as they are on the brink of living happily ever after, the Japanese attack Australia (it's 194o something and World War II is raging). Somewhere around this point I started to get a little lost all of a sudden its an action movie ala pearl harbor. Weird transition. i wont give away the real ending but lets just say its not something your necessarily prepared for. its incredibly emotional and everyone around me was crying.
this is a serious epic film. you are in it from the beginning to the end. i found myself sincerely caring about all the characters, meaning mostly hugh and nicole and the little boy.
all in all, i was incredibly pleased with this experience and it was a very pleasant surprise. i felt actually quite priviledged that i got to see this movie so long before it actually comes out. its going to be a major to-do when it finally hits theaters. call me what you will but i am the weapon
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+ Expand All
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Aaaaangeeeeer!!!
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accurate analogy, but somehow frightfully hilarious
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Really.
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post now plz
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And then goes on to say "jap" in the review, not to mention his obvious ignorance on all things historic. You fit right on in in that "Mall of America-n idiots", twerpish twat.
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I smell plant.
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Jun 30, 2008 2:09:41 AM CDT
And this won't even make $100 mill domestic box office.
by motoko kusanagi
Bet on it.
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Why Nicole, why??!!??
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This review was brought to you by Planty McPlant.
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TEH SUKK!!!
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With nipples and flames on her suit.
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..in a long time, IF it's anything like the reviewer says.
thats a big IF though. People actually liked Moulin Rouge and I didn't think films got any dumber or sillier than that. -
Seriously.
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Damn you to hell!!!
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Oh yeah brotha!
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AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO! AINO!
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just happen to be black
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This season's American Blacks.
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Nice to see Baz getting off his ass and making something.
On a side note. I just read Harry's 'Indy4' review. What a pice of bullshit. You know Harry is writing a positive review for a movie that he knows is shit when he spends the first half trying to encapsulate why it is that we love Indy from way back when (in other words "so please indulge me when i praise amovie that in reality is extremly sub par") I've said it before (and usually find that my account no longer works for a few months as a result) and i'll say it again . . . Harry is too weak a person to be objective about a movie if it's related to geekdom. He would rather produce a dishonest review than have his pet properties be tarnished in any way. It's people like him and the fanboys who got pissed off with negative indy reviews (calling them 'note pad reviewers) that fucking perpetuate the shovelware that we keep getting. If enough geeks do backflips over shite then why should studios make the effort?
Basically, Harry felt that condemnation of the anemic Indy 4 would tarnish the whole serries so he decided to decieve himself into thinking that he had in fact seen a great movie. He probably told himself that this movie was indeed as good as the first 3 but as he's older now he naturally can't see it so in honour of his former childhood self who would probably love indy4 he's gonna praise it. The fact is that the first three indys had a sharpness and snappiness to them that made them great and they stand up today. (coincidentally Spielberg and Lucas also had a sharpness and snappiness to them back in the day, no longer). Harry does not care about movies. He's like Quenten fuckhead Tarantino. His present head is so far up his inner childs ass that he can't recognise shit from shinola. Or worse, he recognizes it but decieves himself into thinking that he saw somethng great, then even worse, tries to decieve us into believing that. Fuck that shit. Indy 4 was a pale imitation of an Indy movie. Do you know what it was? It was on par with all those crap Indy-a-likes that came out in the few years after the first Indy. How sad that pukus and rantberg have lost their fire. it's a sad day when an Indy movie is even worse than some of its own imitators. Harry's reivew of Indy4 seperates the wheat from the chaff as far as true movie lovers go. Those of us that love movies and love excellence and especially excellence in movie making are willing to critisise even our most beloved icons in the service of that excellence. Harry is not. Harry elevates his pet geek loves above excellence and he is unwilling to be honest with himself. And if he can't be honest with himself he certainly can't be honest with us. Therefore his reviews have lost all credibility; as has he. Maybe one day he will wake up from his childhood worshiping rut and get real about what is and isn't great and treat everything equally. Maybe. -
jUST
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Sounds like you have a pent up load of semen in you buddy.
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when it mattered? I agree with you but you missed the boat, son
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whoda thunk it?
i kid. Moulin Rouge sucked balls but Lurhman's other films have been great and the trailer for this looks great also. -
Jun 30, 2008 3:32:54 AM CDT
set in Australia in WW2 when the japs attacked the country (I gu
by joey17
You guess? More bombs were dropped on Darwin than Pearl Harbor... -
the titanic comparison is apt, because the female crowd is going to eat this up exactly like they did with titanic. i'm calling it right now, if fox does the right job marketing it, this is going to go north of $400 million.
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...she's supposed to be high class or snooty. I don't get that vibe from her. She seems more like a waitress to me. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just saying though. Too bad this movie didn't star Naomi Watts, I'd really want to see it then.
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...is up on Moviefone.
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...it's totally fucking badass.
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even if it were the same style, tone, quality, etc... it was Leo and Kate that made the teens and tweens come back again again and again. it coud be big, but not NEAR that big. the cast skews too old
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Where? Link!
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http://www.moviefone.com/insidemovies/2008/06/27/director-marc-forster-talks-quantum-of-solace/
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http://tiny.cc/2eSkh
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Damn You Michael Bay
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I'd forgotten them. But what are they doing in the first post?
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Baz is shite.
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Only, y'know. Not funny.
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With Sex and the City doing a mega ... 145 mil. Don't get me wrong - that's a nice chunk o change - but it ain't in Titanic's ballpark. Shit, it ain't even in the same league. Titanic was the perfect storm - quality chick flick - a sudden out of the blue next hottest thing ever in Leo (who exactly is going to be that in Australia? Hugh? Hah hah) - and a more-hooks-than-baitshop song that was played incessantly. Titanic wasn't a movie - it was a phenomenon we won't see the likes again of in our lifetime - if our lifetime happens to be 2-7 years - boxoffice records usually get broken every 15 years or so.
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If you guys are gonna try racial humor can you at least be funny?
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Jun 30, 2008 5:20:23 AM CDT
Riley Martin votes for a White Australia
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
cause, you know the whites are the proper Aussies right? Fuckwit.
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your shoelace is untied.
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from people who have only seen trailers for a movie. It seems completely ridiculous to me. It's called good marketing people. The whole point of the trailer is to make you believe it is Oscar worthy stuff. Don't get me wrong, I want this to rule just as badly as the next guy, but claiming it will already win ten Oscars just because the trailer feels epic and cool is just dumb.
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...so she doesn't become a prissy bitch anymore. Typical: woman always survives unless the male character is really tortured, then, she can die.
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...as another resident of the Minneapolis/St. Paul Area, let me say sorry. This person must be from the south end of the Cities and... fuck it - We have a bunch of less than stellar minds up here, we don't get many movie premieres, no good independents except at the Uptown and Lagoon, maybe the Eden Prairie... but who the hell drives to Eden Prairie for a damn movie?Sorry, I digressed. It depresses me when they screen a pre-reel here and then some idiot that doesn't grasp grammar and/or a semblance of intelligence gets to see it, it makes me sad. Calgon take me away.Just think Harry, you get to spend the 4 day weekend up here with our drivel at ConVergence. Sorry.
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If this film bombs and bombs badly. The shareholders will once again get pissed off. Murdoch is a shrewd old bugger. But he cant hold off the irate shareholders for ever.
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... with funny accents.
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when will hollywood learn! Why can't they get real actors from the coutry/dialog for the film they are making? This is worse then Daniel Craig playing a jewish guy in all of his films.
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Who else here would've prefered an ole school No Escape or Condemed instead? The real history of Aus.
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Maybe you are just referring to the non lead characters. But Jackman and Kidman are both Australian (even though that doesn't really matter for Kidman in this one).
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i don't like Baz's films but the women seem to love them
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...it's such a big part of who I am.The TITANIC screening took place at the (now defunct) Centennial Lakes 8, a few miles away from the Mall of America.
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Are you fucking kidding me? I stopped reading at "Mall of America-n idiots". What a lack-wit.
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The only way this film could get more Australian is if it had Bill Hunter in it. Oh well, I guess we can't call him "the ubiquitous Bill Hunter" anymore.
And good on Baz for telling Rusty Crowe to go jump when he threatened to do another "Eucalyptus" & started throwing his weight around. Good actor, but Jesus... -
His over the top melodramatic schtick needs to stop.
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He liked it better than sliced bread, but where is his review? Are you just being a lazy bastard Harry? I better see a Hellboy 2 review from you!
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hahahahahahaha
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Better to have my own stuff pent up inside me than be full someone elses you jizz obsessed cumgargler.
Better late than never and it's not just about the Indy review either. Sadly, It's harrys MO now. If it sucks but it deals with holy geekery then it get's a pass. -
They won't disguise the fact that this looks like a turkey of monumental portions. So I'd suggest at least a Thanksgiving release.
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Everyone thought we'd screen at Mall of Americas, but we didn't. We screened outside of Minneapolis in Edina, MN under the moniker "Great Expectations."
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I still haven't had a chance to read his indy 4 review. I'm sure you don't care whether people agree with your setiments or not, but I know you're glad you got it out your system!
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I'm seeing this day one. It won't be Titanic though, nothing today or tomorrow will ever replicate that films success.
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Titanic screened at Centennial Lakes General Cinema...not MOA.
Also...Baz was there yesterday...in addition to some producers and tech staff (his wife who designed the costumes was there as well)
I enjoyed the film...it needs some cutting, though.
A HUGE departure for Baz...but I think he did a great job. And that's all I'm saying. -
...because reviewer was a fucking idiot.
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What the hell does "arm shivering" even mean? Uber-lame. I've seen the trailer twice and it looked cheeseball every time.
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Ummm....Okaaaaay. I've never heard Aboriginals described as a "version" of black people before.
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The Edina is also a Landmark Theatre and is not showing Get Smart. You can take the bus there from Uptown.
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Why does the drover leave Lady A at one point (right before the bombings according to this review)? And does he say he'll come back for her, he just has to leave for a little while, or is it more of a "goodbye" not able to be together? I would really appreciate anyone who can answer! =)
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its all we want from u
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It was already on location in Namibia getting ready to shoot a few years back then the war happened and the Hollywood backers pulled everyone back from O.S. So close...
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To those who have seen the movie (or wrote the reviews) please go onto IMDB to the "Australia" forum. I would love to ask some questions. Thanks!
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Could you please post on IMDB about Australia? (on the "Australia" forum) I really want to ask you some questions about the movie - I would greatly appreciate it. Just let me know on here if you can, thank you!
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