Cool News
G.I. JOE: Subtitle = Franchise!!
Merrick here...
Seems Stephen Sommers' G.I. MOVIE has been branded with a subtitle (in some parts of he world at least).
film1 grabbed an image illustrating as much at the Cinema EXPO in Amsterdam.
The image also suggests we'll be seeing a bevy of character posters in theaters, similar to several other recent promotional campaigns.
Click the pic to see the whole thing.
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+ Expand All
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How come every subtitle has to be a rise or a War of, or the revenge of, or the return of?
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I'll drink to that.
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"Starting at northeast corner first..."
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I'm here to vipe the vindows. lol love that episode.
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will it be that good?
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Jun 23, 2008 9:54:28 AM CDT
I thought from the headline that "Franchise" WAS the subtitle
by pumpymcass
That would rule if studios were that blatant. "Pay up retard. You know you want to see G.I. Joe: The Franchise. Ten dollars for popcorn."
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It IS an origin story, after all.
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Not that this movie stands a chance at being even remotely good but are they even trying with the title? Any movie with a "Rise of..." title is going to be terrible. So fucking typical.
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Put him in a body bag! Sweep the leg, Johnny!
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And I ask again, will Shipwreck's parrot be CGI'd in later?
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think i know where u've been spendin' some free time.
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A subtitle can work but man that's just too generic.
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So this is about how Adrian Cobra got his start then. I love it. We've been hoping for a Cobra sequel for so long. Who knew we'd be getting a prequel instead? I hope Stallone plays Cobra. They can age him a couple years younger in post-production. ABking will be thrilled!
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I doubt it will become a franchise
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.............shit!!!!! G.I JOE: RISE OF THE STEAMER.
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............... the Globo-Gym Cobras??????
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The title will be "G.I. Joe: You know, a bit like Action Man"
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Pull my finger.
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I'm not sure who was pining for a re-imagining of GI Joe in the first place. You'd think that the real nostalgia cases would want something more like the comics/cartoon rather than some new incarnation that only retains a few elements from the original.
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Brought to you by Rupert Murdoch, Bill O'Reilly, and fairest news team in town, Fox News.
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Jun 23, 2008 10:29:23 AM CDT
They've dotted the wrong end of the "j"... and not the "i"
by yotzvonfrelnik
That intrigues me for some reason.
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Shakespeare? Wow, is she saying she's a gilded butterfly? Does she know we laugh at her for being gilded? Wow my whole mind is rocked right now.
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Shakespeare? Wow, is she saying she's a gilded butterfly? Does she know we laugh at her for being gilded? Wow my whole mind is rocked right now.
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GI Joe: Rise of the One Eyed Snake.
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As the wacky and lovable sidekick to Duke!
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1. Cobra Rising sounds more ominous.
2. Channing Tatum with facial scars = hawt -
OOO SSS IIIIIII!!!
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I have a Shipwreck-centered G.I. Joe episode (don't remember the title) to thank for literally introducing me to the concept of the MacGuffin. Years later, in film class, my instructor talked about Hitchcock film MacGuffins, and I was transported back to this episode. It made me smile.
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...but it has the word "Rise" in it! Damn, I wish I had written the rant in my head earlier about subtitles with the word "Rise" in them. There are so so many. Add this one to the list.
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Why does this movie cost so damn much? That's way too much money for a GI Joe movie. Why hire hack directors if all they do is get all wasteful with their budget? Had they hired someone other than Mr. Mummy I'm sure they could have made the same movie less money. And I may be way too fucking late on this, but Joseph Gordon Levitt as Cobra Commander? Is that even true?
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Why does it look like a shitty xerox? This flick looks to be painfully "generic".
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Could this be the "let's tone down the American Patriotic nature so it's sellable elsewhere" strategy?
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Sienna Miller looks fucking ridiculous in black leather.
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... not only will they fuck up your childhood toy franchise/memories, but they'll do it more than once!
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Screenplay is there.
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Rapidshare sucks the rise out of my cobra.
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Damn You Michael Bay
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I was expecting "GI JOE: Requiem" or "GI JOE and the Kingdom of the Cobra-La" or some shit.
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Jun 23, 2008 11:50:28 AM CDT
Why not "C.O.B.R.A. Strikers" or anything NOT using "Rise?"
by autodidact
Fuckin unimaginative bullshit.
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A Duhhr....
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Starring Lebron James and the 2006-07 Cleveland Cavaliers.
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everything about this movie is just stupid. Anybody expecting more than a 2 star hot mess is a fool.
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Jun 23, 2008 12:03:29 PM CDT
GI JOE: imperialist warmongers in the search of securing oil sup
by mr_x
Jagshemash! I like!
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GI Joe: Lets give up, we all know we're the real enemy anyway...brought to you by Keith Olberman, Chris Mathews and MSNBC. I mean no agenda there right? You don't think the title is too long though do ya?..
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They will never start, because this movie is gonna bomb
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What if they'd called the first TRANSFORMERS, "Autobots: Rise of the Decepticons"?
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If this movie is better than DOOM I'll be fucking shocked. SHOCKED.
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Whatever happened to DePalma making this?
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What I wanna know is , are we gonna get red and blue laser guns so we can tell the difference between the good guys and bad guys ?
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Interesting.
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... before passing judgement on this one. The casting has ranged from being spot on (Sienna Miller as The Baroness), questionable (this Tatum guy doesn't look the part, but just might pull off Duke) to WTF (Marlon Wayans in GI:Joe? Seriously? Did we not learn the lesson of Dungeons and Dragons that the body weight of Wayans sibling is exponential to the level of shitiness of even an already mediocre movie?).
But, Sommers just might pull a rabbit out of his ass like he did with the first Mummy and make, at least a flawed yet entertaining movie. I dunno. I'm gonna wait til we see movement and sound before I give my final decision. -
in which I teach English, in Prague. It's a building called the Nile House.http://www.nilehouse. cz/en/design.phpIf anyone cares.
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Has he been cast in this. That would be awesome!
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Breakfast cereals.
Quaker Oats; Rise of Brown Sugar
Captain Chrunch and the Kingdom of the Crunch BerriesSugur Smacks: Smackdown -
...will NOT laugh at goddamn gilded butterflies. Fuck that shit.
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Or will all the main characters be endlessly shot at and never hit? I'm sure there will be the obligatory big dramatic sacrificial death at the end, but...
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don't forget there also needs to be a joker in the group and another that is lacking in courage but gathers enough near when it really matters.
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Thats funny,talk about pissing away money. This will do nothing outside of american!!! I.m in Ireland and nobody gives a shite about g.i joe outside of America!!! 170 million aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha ahah aha ahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahh
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"Cobra Commander?"
"Yesss, Serpentor?"
"RIIIIIIIIISE!" -
Of course he might have to be rehydrated.
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That's the only thing I've seen worth anything is an entirely fuckable Baroness
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I'm really sick of all this "Rise" shit. I didn't like it with Silver Surfer, and I don't like it now. Plus, this movie already looks like dog shit anyway. Who approved those costumes? Who approved that cast? Oh that's right, they're the only ones who would sign up to this POS. Sienna I can understand, she'll do anything (and anyone), but QUAID? WTF MAN?? You are one of my personal heroes, you weren't even embarassing in The Day After Tomorrow!! Why do this shit??
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alfred molina as "shabba-do" quinones,
verne troyer as "boogaloo shrimp" chambers,
and mike myers as \"comedy's worst nightmare". -
FF2: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Deep Rising (yes I went there), Hannibal Rising, Rising Sun
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Maybe not that bad, I want it to be bad enough in critics and fans eyes that everybody involved is scrapped and in 5 years, ala the Hulk, a new crew is brought in to make the REquel.
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And Duke doesn't look like Duke. Did these moviemakers ever read the comics? Even LOOK at the pictures in them? Shee-it
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does not even begin to describe references to "Electric Boogaloo."
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and SGT Slaughter will be played by Stephen Hawking
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at a Cleveland Indians game earlier this year. I saw him up-close in the concourse. No offense to the guy, but he doesn't exactly look so tough anymore. I noticed that at least two of the main characters are played by people whose short careers feature modeling. Which is fine, but hey, if I wanted to bring cred to a GI Joe movie, I would not cast pretty faces alone. Ray Park is great casting for Snake Eyes, and I like Quaid in his other stuff. Frankly, seems like the rest of the gang are kids. I always imagined the team being older, in their 30s at least. You have too many 20-somethings, and it becomes difficult to believe that there aren't others in their fields of expertise with the same or greater skills, and more experience doing what they do. Simply put, if I'm a top federal officer, and I want to send an elite squad out, I'm not going to send a bunch of Saved-by-the Bell looking models in black leather. I'm going to send tough, grizzled, seasoned vets with specialized skills and a good 10-15 years in, at least.
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It had to be said
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I'll bet no one dies from actual bullet wounds. Part of me wishes they'd gone the comedy route and done the red and blue lasers, with the combatants shooting close range at each other like, BE-YEW! BE-YEW! BE-YEW! and no one is ever shot or killed.
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specifically Golobulous & Nemesis Enforcer?
or that hottie Pythona? -
Now, THAT'S a title that'll pack the house.
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If it is about the rise of Cobra, Does this mean the Joe's lose in the end?
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Jun 23, 2008 2:52:11 PM CDT
G.I. Joe: Freedom Fries for Freedom Lovers- Prequel to G.I. Joe
by judge briggs
Plot: Citizens tune into FOX and realize that we are told not to question the war against Mexico because if so, you don't love freedom and you're unpatriotic. Then we find out that Duke is forced out of duty by the secretary of defense because he needs more Joes to take the country of Mexico (even though there are no Cobra in Mexico). He then forms his own Joe unit to attack the Cobra command whom are really responsible for terrorist activities and the recent terrorist attacks. Goooooooo Joe! Duke is the real American hero because he knows who the real threat is and it's not the Mexicans!
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thr "Rise" of something...jeez give me a fucking break! Rise of the Fallen, Rise of the Silver Surfer..piss off!!!
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anybody notice that tattoo on Megan Fox? ROWR! =0p
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MY real American heroes don't wear costumes that look like spray-painted costumes from SPACEBALLS!
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I mean, COME ON! have a little imagination will ya!?! >=0(
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though it could use more joe character cameos but it seems this is just the first part of many from the ending.
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yes i commented at the top of this thread? Shakespeare??
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I think it will be.
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Sienna Miller's GOT to be fucking Ridley Scott, that's the ONLY way she could have RISEN to the ranks of getting cast opposite Crowe (who I'm sure has some approval over casting) in a Scott Fuck Me For Free Production.
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Sometimes they work but usually are completely unnecessary. they have become a sad cliche in the movie biz now I guess.
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BEST Episode(s) EVAR!
GI JOE movie will suck Optimus balls.
I predict now: It will have a ton of shaky-cam, and so little character development that when one of the major characters gets killed the audience will be like "who was he again?"
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FUCK HEAD PROTECTION! JUST FUCK IN THE ASS!
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So I can laugh. They all look retarded with the exception of Scarlet (because she was casted well) and half of Snake Eyes. They are obviously hiding Cobra Commander cause he is the worse one. He wont even be called Cobra commander. From what I can remember his name is Rex and he's played by a kid barely out of his teens. Hahaha
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The Rock as ShipWreck!? WTF. YIKES. What did they do, pick a gi joe name out of a hat and tell then they can play that guy? Hahahaa. To add, i think that Breaker looked ok too. Nothing will save this though I just wanted to point it out.
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Bet ya 10 bucks he gets the scar SPOILER in the same explosion that scars his best friend (who then becomes Cobra Commander). Of course I'm excited because he has the trademarked (yes trademarked) scar they applied to the original 12" Joe in 1964 to try and prevent/block knock-offs (companies reverse-molded toys to create cheap versions). If even the slightest hint of a scar appeared on a knock-off Hasbro sued (or threatened suit). I'm actually getting excited about this movie (Carlin help me).
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I want to see this film.....Take the Characters and Concepts...update/adjust as needed-GET RID of the Mix Match Uniforms and deliver an action/spy/war movie..
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It is WAYYYy to early to pass judgment on this. I am not thrilled with a Wayans being in this, but I am pretty OK with the casting thus far, as far as Sommers directing, I enjoyed both of The Mummy movies ( so sue me!!! LOL), and yes, shoot me I enjoyed Van Helsing, because I went in with low expectations, so I am sure that's partly why. I want to see some production stills before I say one word about how I think this will be. Of course, we are bound to have the usual crop of geniuses who are gonna say how much this will suck, but I just laugh at those people now, their arrogance is amusing. The subtitle thing is getting old too, the first film in a possible future series should just be called what it is, subtitles are for sequels.
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Kurt Russel as Duke or some kind of team leader.
Anyway, nice poster. I dig it. Looks good. The subtitle is shit, but what can ya do? "Cobra Rising", like someone else said, sounds way better, and less cliche. -
do you really expect or even think the property is deserving of anything above say... Armageddon/Die Hard/Speed/The 6th Day production???
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There is plenty out now to make an informed decision on whether this will be shit or not. Sorry but people who use that excuse already decided they are going to love this. It's that simple. Pre judging goes both ways.
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First off, I have not pre judged anything, I have not already decided that I am going to love it, I am simply keeping an open mind. What information do you have aside from a director, some casting and a few pictures? Please fill me in on your wonderous skills which you use to judge movies that you have not even seen, especially ones that are barely in production. I would really like to know.
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Jun 23, 2008 5:08:02 PM CDT
COBRA is to Mind Control As Stephen Sommers is to Mind Rot =0p
by the marquis de side 3
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man, he's taking the divorce hard...
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Jun 23, 2008 6:18:04 PM CDT
WHAT THE FUCK IS HOLLYWOOD'S OBSESSION WITH "RISING"?!?!?!?!
by lhombresiniestro
Get a fucking Thesaurus!!!!
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Yes, at one point GI Joe was a hot property. And, we've come to learn (Transformers, every comic book superhero, etc.) that all "once relevant" properties will be dusted off and reexamined as potential box office gold. Truth is, we have seen GI Joe's popularity come in waves, first with the comic books of yesteryear and then in the 80's. It was the decade was the day of Rabmo, bigger is better, and an "us vs them" mentality. It was Freedom, Democracy vs. Communism, evil. G.I. Joe was wholly American, and I understood its popularity to a certain extent, but thinking back, a kid's cartoon glorifying militarism is always struck me as a bit unseemly. Right? Don't get me wrong, I love hard-core action films, and am several steps removed from having a PC outlook on just near anything. Having to suffer through this failed Bush Administration and all it's military blunders, I then see these GI Joe movie one-sheets and they conjure up images and thoughts of Blackwater, and over-hawkish war propaganda. I've heard rumors that the filmmakers will make the G.I. Joe not a fighting force of American advance, but rather an international peacekeeping unit (haha Streetfighter movie). Although, i've heard that rumor to be false as well. The point is, Sommers and company considered the audience's potential reservations about the project. Roge Ebert is quoted as saying "it's not what a movie is about, but how it is about it." I'll reserve judgement until i see it, but I do believe that tonally, this film has little maneurving room for error. If the G.I Joe's are American, then who are the Cobras? I wasn't a big fan, even when I was a kid in the 80's (i preferred He-Man and Thundercats)so perhpas I'm a bit misguided. Is this world of G.I. Joe so completely fantastical and out-there, that such concerns are just silly? So many families are faced with loved ones at war. Questions, peppered with anxiety and fear, about our nation's role role as a nation builder or military occupyer are an all time. So,is a film with the cartoonish sensibilites regarding war, really what we need right now, or even something audiences will flock to for escapism? Maybe it's exactly what we need, as some sort pop-culture metaphor about the state of things. I have more questions than answers. To another point: are any of these characters in the GI Joe world, by the way, even memorable or multi-dimensinal in any way? I remember Snake Eyes. He was a bad-ass. Was he anything else? As we mourn the loss of George Carlin, a man who was the epitome of anti-establisment, I look at a property like G.I. Joe, and then I look at an establishment like Hollywood, and when I see the two marry, I think about what Carlin might have to say about it. "Propagandist bullshit!" Or maybe like many American audiences, he'd be happy just seeing shit get blown up real good.
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I thought we put that shameful period of cheesy action movies with lame super-soldier armor and stupid fonts on posters behind us. GI Joe proves otherwise.
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Jun 23, 2008 6:47:48 PM CDT
Let's just cut the crap and get straight to the point here
by dapper swindler
Rise the Movie: Rise of the Riser (starring Paul Reiser)
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I think the best thing that can come of this movie, is the re-release of the cartoon G.I. Joe the Movie on DVD. I cannot find it anywhere. I will NOT be seeing the new movie.
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"Put him in a body bag Johnny!"
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I'm guessing there is nothing "American" about this hero.
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So you read what you believe to be the script, and that is the basis you use to pre-judge a film? Do you know how many revisions, rewrites, alterations, ect. that scripts go through before the movie is completed?? Most of the time what you see on screen is not how it started, so I can't buy your reasoning, it's very short sighted.
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Joseph Gordon Levitt as Cobra Commander!? Please be joking.
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For not making any fucking sense in this article. I had no fucking clue what you were talking about until I clicked the picture of Duke. YOU SUCK DONKEY COCK AND DESERVE A CACTUS UP YOUR ASS. NO LUBE!
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Just wondering since it seems they are taking a page out of TF they might dumb this down for kids like TF did.
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TURDONARRIVAL!!!
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All cash bets only please.
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G.I. Joe has always been a toy commercial and now we're supposed to pay to see it. Will they show a short art film before the main attraction since commercials would be redundant?
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How is Merrick's article in the least bit vague or confusing? It makes perfect sense to me.
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When GI Joe wasn't a damn lame ass 80's cartoon? With shitty small action figures with crap detail,,,, that you could stick the whole damn toy up your ass!!!!!! The action figures of the 60's and 70'were a decent size.... You could actually see a detailed face,,, stuble and kung fu grip,,,,actual vehicle props that worked.. hey the sea sled was cool. Transformers was cool in the 80's ...GI Joe was stupid!!!!!
The 80's GI Joe,,, took away the imagination in all of us..... The original vintage GI Joe gave many kids a great imagination for story building without a frickin cartoon.
Please excuse me just needed to vent... I think there is a generational barrier here somewhere. Those who grew up watching the first season of Sesame Street might agree with me.
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What do you expect? This site is full of morons who would not know an intelligent thought if it bit them in the ass.
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I have read the Larry Hama version of GI Joe, (stll got the complete run somewhere) Both his original run and the more recent especially -GI JOE: Declassified- which would work well as a movie.....And as far as I recall he is involved in the film...However, did you or anyone really expect Hollywood to deliver a serious(ala Platoon) war film from this source material- No they are going to turn into a family friendly (most likely pg-13) action film....and seriously did people miss that its supposedly going to be a trilogy? Of Course the studio is going to turn it into a franchise...you dont spent the $$$ not to.....
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I really should just ignore you. Somehow you managed to assume all these things and you don't even know what I was talking about. You are also randomly calling people out and for what exactly? Because they make decisions on the quality of a movies based on the facts (and there is a lot) they receive? Why are you here if you are not interested in news about movies and are going to watch the movie anyway? If you want to spend your hard earned money on this (so you can make your informed decision. Because you know, previews are for snobs.) that's all your prerogative but don't arrogantly tell people they don't know what they are talking about. Why not do something novel and respect someones opinions based on what they've been given? We don't all think the same way. Some of us are fans of the comic and some are of the cartoon and some could care less about either. We can't all be saints like you and give the benefit of doubt. Also please do me a favor and stop responding to me. You're not going to agree with me and I'm not going to agree with you so go focus your attention on the other people you are trolling.
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If they make this team an international U.N. force, this movie's gonna SUCK! >:(
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There's a saying that has become the quintessential Hollywood mantra. Famous screenwriter, Wiliam Goldman is the source, from his bestseller Adventures in the Screen-trade. It's simply "Nobody knows anything." From studio executives, to producers, directors, writers, agents,to talkbackers -- from top to the bottom -- nobody knows anything. This, of course, refers to the fact that despite trends, despite the quality or lack thereof of a script, work history, buzz, and on and off-set problems, the truth is...nobody truly knows the winning formula when it comes to filmmaking. I think what Rogueleader means, is that when you show zero confidence in, say, a film like G.I. Joe,you seem to suggest you know everything, choosing not to express an opinion, but rather writing in absolutes. "Nothing will save this," you write. You don't know this. By simply changing your verbiage to something along the lines of "I doubt anything will save this," you won't come off as such a talkbacker prick who, well...like the rest of us: don't know anything.
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He wasn't responding to that. And when I said nothing will save this I really meant nothing will save it for me. I don't speak for others. If my words seem that way it's by accident. I didn't mean that it won't do great or whatever. We all know even the lowliest piece of garbage can do make tons of money. I reserve my right to have my own opinion. Also I have been reading all these GIjoe topics and compared to people who had passed it off as being a toy commercial at the very start I am pretty optimistic.
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And I have seen enough by now to know I won't like this movie. I never told anyone they had to agree with me.
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TEH SUKK!!!
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Could be shit. But Rachel Nichols is in this, and she has a banging body. Simply banging.
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I don't have high hopes for the film either, but being someone who's in the industry and understand how hard it is, I feel it just kinda sucks to hear someone say something has failed in the past tense without having seen it. Also, I would never equate quality with box office. Millions of people eat at the Olive Garden, but i wouldn't call it good Italian food. My point is, every now and again, a director can redeem himself, and do something of quality. Nobody sets out to make a bad film. I doubt G.I. Joe will fall be any good, but ya never know. If you believe a movie has failed, ironically, without having seen it, well, it just comes off as kinda shitty. That's all. At the same time, if they ever remade Citizen Kane, I too would be angry. In fact, everything in me, all of me, would know that it would never reach the bar that Orson Welle's set. Still, every filmmaker, in my opinion, deserves to have his film seen, and then judged, not the other way around
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To answer your questions about Cobra's identity; it depends on which version they go with.
In the comic book version, Cobra is simply an international terrorist organization, not affiliated with any government agency. Cobra Commander himself is a former car salesmen, of all things, who is extremely charismatic, if a bit stupid, and extremely ruthless. He surrounds himself with footsoldiers recruited from the poor and disenfranchised and promises them wealth and glory in exchange for their obedience. He also surrounds himself with ruthless greedy business men and comic-book super scientists such as Destro and Dr. Mindbender to supply the know-how to his ambition. Not too inconvceivable, all said.
In the Cartoon version, Cobra Commander was only thought to be human, when in fact he was a representative of a subterrainian race that evolved from reptiles rather than mammals, called Cobra-la. He was one of their greatest chemical and biological scientists that came to Earth's surface to use the worst elements of Human society to destroy it so that the reptiles might re-conquer the Earth, but his own hubris often was his downfall, refusing to let any of his lackeys claim the final glory in battle.
I'll let you apply that to your own query and decide how fantastic the story of the film might be, and how public opinion may be swayed for or against the film. -
As a filmmaker, I've come to appreciate comics far more than I have in the past, and am a bit upset about my ignorance toward the comic book world. I've spent my life studying films, literature, etc. and to know this medium exists that inspires film to no end...well, it's new to me. I hope to make a movie some day that not only takes the things i've learned from traditonal art, literature, and movies, but am eager to combine them with that of the comic book world. It is truly one of the few American art forms.
Although, in the case of G.I. Joe, I don't think its source material will be given due. I pose this question to you and other comic book fans. Should a true G.I. Joe film be a go-for-broke action film hard R, maybe in the tradition of Dirty Dozen (although no R rating existed then), and Platoon, or a PG-13 superhero movie? Very few times, have I been at a lost, as to what tone a movie will take, but in this case, I am so fucking lost. Do these characters have superpowers, at all? Are countries, other than America, ever mentioned? It sounds like The Cobra are a rogue terrorist unit. What the fuck, are we to expect with this movie? Give me you're best case scenario, and your worst. I only want true G.I. Joe fans to answer this. -
GI Joe:Franchise is actually pretty funny! They should totally call it that!
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This shit just looks so fooking lame.
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http://gi-joe-trailer.blogspot.com/
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They're all black and white, yet each has a bit of red someplace in 'em. Get it? Me neither.
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Jun 24, 2008 9:49:54 AM CDT
G.I. Joe: This Would Have Been Better If Michael Bay Directed It
by zombiezeus
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I NEVER said that people are not entitled to their opinion, everyone is. All I was saying is that it is unfair to judge a movie based soley on bits of information. That's all. If you choose not to see a movie based on what you know about it, your expectations are low, whatever, fine. All I am saying is that a movie cannot be truly judged until the finished product is seen. That's all. Those who choose to pre judge a movie and not see it based on that are entitled to that way of thinking. I don't think I am high and mighty or flaming anyone. I am just simply stating facts, if I come across as a flamer or whatever, my apologies. I just don't like it when people come across as movie know it alls, like they know all and all others know nothing. Just my humble opinion. Talk on, predict on, damn on, whatever it is you do, all the different personalities here are what makes this site fun.
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or I want to believe? How about GI Joe:Buy the Toys Dammit!
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Seriously. I played with the toys like mad as a wee rat. But the cartoon, which I also watched, kinda sucked because nobody ever died. The show went out of its way to make sure the viewer saw the Cobra pilot climb or parachute out of the destroyed vehicle. I was 10 years old and thought to myself, "That's fucking bullshit, man."So, really, GI Joe was all about blowing the shit out of each other's equipment. How, in the name of God's balls, is that a 'war'? How do you win a 'war' if no one gets killed? Who supplied the gear for the fodder? Haliburton? And what was up with that one guy that turned purple in daylight (or was it water?)? Is this guy in the movie?And Joseph Gordon-Levitt for Cobra Commander? Really? Why? Can he do that gargling magma voice and no one else can? We all know Cobra Commander wears that face cloth (or is he the silver-glassed blue motorcycle helmet wearing guy? Are they the same guy in different climates?) so his kinda "hobbit" look won't screw up the menace of CC from behind a veil (what the hell else is it then?). But seriuously, wasn't this guy on Roseanne or something? Can we get someone over the fucking age of 30 for the leader of a world-wide terrorist organization? Sure, it's possible for a 27 year old to run a what? A fucking Burger King maybe but a world-wide Terrorist organization not specifically tied to any wealth or monarchy? I call bollocks! That said! I'm not trying to pick on the movie as I don't care about it's origins in terms of informing my judgment; and some of the promo shots don't look like ass at all. The casting sounds a little dumb, though. Even then, I'll watch it and then decide like all good things.No, not the movie at all; I'm specifically picking on the original cartoon (not the toys; everybody died when we played with the toys, even figures from other movies were killed in our epic GIJOE battles, my friend's pet beagle was a giant mutant Rancor monster and even he was killed by a strafing attack from Snake-Eyes (me) piloting an X-Wing and Duke (my friend) piloting the GIJOE F-16). But not in the cartoon. No death. Oh and will they also have those ending freeze-frame CHiPs-like endings where everybody starts laughing and they freeze frame the frivolity? Besides, freeze-framing in animation is totally awesome. Totally. Having to draw the same fram like 40 or 50 times and having it be exact from one frame to the next. That's why Hanna-Barberra was the best. The guy who ran the background track had to spin it perfectly and that Barney Rubble...what an actor!!! (Ok, full disclosure, I hated the god damn Flintstones...not hated like Hitler or a ketchup enema but still. Hated.)
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Jurassic Park IV??Please now
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Free them!
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done by SS, i'd be in line to see that in a heartbeat
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Don't ask, don't tell next summer.
This can't be any worse than Van Helsing, right? Right??
Oh and btw... Channing Tatum is hot. -
Damn You MCMLXXVI
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GI:Joe movie ?!?!? what the hell is next? Mask? Thundercats? Smurfs? Snorkels? GoBots?
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Oh god...best and worst case scenario, eh? That's so hard to work out. I suppose best case scenario would be to shoot for a PG-13 (not R because this is based on a kids' show and should maintain some of the lightheartedness of the original, IMO) that would take the source material seriously, but with enough sense to remember the campiness of the original and poke a little fun at itself.
I remember when Transformers came out, and everyone was bitching and moaning about how the 'bots looked different, and about how it wasn't going to fit in with the 'classic' original show.
And don't get me wrong, I love the old Transformers, but the show's writing and continuity are ultimately shit...but that's okay because when we were five years old we glossed over that stuff and it was an awesome action adventure about cool-ass robots.
Its easier to make a serious movie with the purely comic book based movies because its easy to take the archtypes of the characters and extract their mythic qualities or social messages and create a fairly serious drama about them. Those stories have developed enough over the last four or five decades that there is a lot of depth there to plumb, and happily the writers have injected just enough humor about guys running around in tights as to coax our suspension of disbelief rather than hinder it. Iron Man is the most recent and possibly best example of a serious comic story with lots of laughs in it to remind us not to take it TOO seriously.
The cartoon-based movies are harder to qualify into a best/worst case scenario because there is little drama that was ever present in the original series. The energy that remains in them is purely nostalgic, but strong enough so that Optimus Prime's death in the animated Transformers film still brings some fans to tears. Its not that the scene is that well done, surely viewers from that generation who see it for the first time today will be unmoved by the sequence, but memories of how that bright red truck-man was once our greatest childhood champion make it a tragedy to see him fall.
This being the case, the Transformers live action movie was probably about as good as it could have gotten; just close enough to the original, just far enough to attract people who couldn't have given a damn about the cartoon, action, laughs, not too shabby.
GI Joe might be a little harder to do, since the cartoon's biggest attempt at drama, again in the animated movie, ended up a very campy melodrama, even compared to the Transformers. But Larry Hama's work on the GI Joe comic book has proven that the characters can be put into a somewhat more real, grittier setting and still be made to work.
There will still always be SOME level of camp to even the comic though, as we have to remember that GI Joe always comes back to a bunch of guys in themed costumes fighting a guy in a hood and dude in a gold snake suit...and there are ninjas everywhere.
If the directors can remember to put a few laughs in an otherwise bad-ass film, it'll be great. But that is a difficult task for many writers/directors, and I'll be surprised if they can pull it off.
But with so many fanboy writers out there these days, who knows? Maybe they will surprise me after all. -
The vocalist from AC/DC. Guys' got the voice down already. Get him a hood and go.
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