GET SMART may have been one of the cleverest sitcoms of the 1960s, but it didn't last for five seasons on wit alone; if it were simply a matter of funny, shows like POLICE SQUAD! and ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT would still be running today. For whatever reason, American TV viewers require a palpable emotional investment in the characters to keep tuning in. They crave sexual chemistry between the leads. Cliff and Norm were just the sideshow; it was Sam's scorching/frigid romances with Diane and Rebecca that turned CHEERS into a ratings juggernaut.

Though I wouldn't call the Maxwell Smart/Agent 99 dynamic "smoldering", there was a subtle charge to the Don Adams-Barbara Feldon interplay that seemed to hook audiences. I'd argue that this was almost exclusively a byproduct of Feldon's overwhelmingly mod-ish sex appeal, but Adams's persistent obliviousness definitely challenged Feldon; she had to work twice as hard just to penetrate his narcissism. But, yeah, now that I seriously consider it... mostly she was just really freakin' hot.

Still, that was enough to keep the show on the air for half a decade (they kinda neutered it when Max and 99 got married and had twins), and, with Peter Segal's big screen rendition of GET SMART, that same va-va-voom factor is sufficient to transform an otherwise agreeable summer action comedy into something almost memorable. Once again, Maxwell Smart is a closed-off, career-obsessed nincompoop who gets by on the brilliance of others - only this time he's painfully self-conscious about his weight (Max recently shaved off a few hundred pounds, which means you're getting a fat-suit gag, mister, and you're gonna like it!). In Carell's hands, this is all much more affecting than it ought to be (the script, credited to Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember wants no part of comedic inventiveness or anything that might unmoor the film from convention), but even his charm can't conquer banal screenwriting on its own (look, I woke up on the couch a few weeks ago and EVAN ALMIGHTY was on; I did not seek it out).

Usually, Segal tries to overcome weak material by dragging in talented ringers like John Turturro, Chris Rock, and Nelly; he does that with GET SMART, too, but, for whatever reason, he gets very little of the funny stuff out of David Koechner, Terry Crews and Masi Oka (there's one killer cameo early in the film; it involves an agent hiding in a tree, and I'll not spoil it any further). Perhaps plot mechanics got in the way. Fortunately, Segal ignored the potential ick factor of casting a twenty-five-year-old bombshell opposite a deeply unsensual actor twenty years her senior; thanks to his bravery, we now have incontrovertible proof that Anne Hathaway is a movie star.

Hathaway's 99 differs from Feldon's iteration in that she's outwardly resentful of Max's incompetence; as an experienced field agent (the writers adequately explain away the age difference with a blown cover/plastic surgery device), 99 is incensed that she's been dropped into a critical mission - the infiltration of good ol' KAOS - with such a bumbling clod. We later discover that a good portion of her anger is derived from the fear of blowing her cover again for the very same reasons, but the backstory isn't really necessary. Cliched exposition is perfectly forgivable when you've the pleasure of watching a classic beauty like Hathaway slither through one extravagant wardrobe change after another.

What's odd about Hathaway's performance is that this is the first time she's seemed remotely interested in her male costar. She devoured both Adrian Grenier and Simon Baker in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, ditto Freddie Rodriguez in HAVOC, and got nothing out of James McAvoy in the dreary BECOMING JANE. These are not unattractive or untalented men, so it's strange to see her so damn into Carell from the get (would you believe that most of her resentment of Max is feigned?). I'd chalk it up to the Seth Rogen factor (which we discussed yesterday), but this is the same actress who bolted KNOCKED UP because she couldn't generate a single spark with her would-be co-star.

Hathaway has long been on the verge of a breakthrough performance, but, up until now, she's generally been the least compelling element of some very good films. Though I loved looking at her in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, that movie belonged to Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci and Emily Blunt; meanwhile, she was painfully miscast in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. However, something clicked in GET SMART. It's the first time she's been completely in charge of her sex appeal onscreen (if HAVOC weren't a downright risible film, her performance might've seemed more daring than reckless). It's strange that a four-quadrant blockbuster based on a Cold War-era parody would be the film to draw this out of her, but who cares? She's ready.

Peter Segal deserves more credit than he's likely to get for the film's pacing; ephemeral fare like this tends to bog down after ninety minutes, but he keeps things humming for a solid 110. That's not easy. And while the ringers generally fail to deliver, Alan Arkin makes a sublime "Chief". If GET SMART manages to become a franchise, Segal should leave his actors more space to riff; there's too much potential being wasted in this movie.

Faithfully submitted,

Mr. Beaks