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Harry says, 'If Shit Got THE LOVE GURU On It, Shit Would Wipe It Off!'

Unfuckingbelievably unspeakably awful. THE LOVE GURU is astonishingly rancid. There's a part of me, that wants THE LOVE GURU to make like 75 Million opening weekend. Why? So that the entire - giant film going audience marks Mike Myers' death as a comedian. Reviews of this film are nearly universally grotesquely negative - and with good reason. With this film, Myers puts a shotgun in the mouth of comedy and kills it. This isn't merely a bad film, but a painful experience that you keep telling yourself to leave. However, I have a very strong belief in witnessing the terror. People had to survive the Holocaust to hold those responsible, responsible. This film isn't as bad as the Holocaust. Nothing could be. But in the realm of film going experiences - it's a third trimester abortion. It is a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette and drinking a Coors Light. Myers not only tells alleged attempts at jokes - but often time spends minutes of screen time attempting to explain why the joke is funny... He's like that Comedy School guy that tries to teach BORAT comedy... but with no BORAT in the room. I saw THE HAPPENING - it was the film before this that I saw in theaters. It's getting a lot of shit - and make no bones about it, THE HAPPENING is a very bad film. But at least it had a premise - at least it was momentarily compelling in places. This was a painful film experience. Imagine injecting hydrochloric acid into your left teste... or right breast. Imagine following that up with injections throughout your body. THE LOVE GURU is one of the most inept pathetic terrifyingly awful experiences I've ever suffered through. As the audience walked out - they all had that 100 yard stare. We'd all seen shit that makes shit seem HELLO KITTY cuddily. I know someone I highly respect that apparently liked and enjoyed this film. I don't think ill of him. I am just completely and utterly at a loss. I can't imagine an instance or moment that one could grasp ahold of and not want to choke to an early grave. Seriously - the only enjoyment I can imagine with this film - is watching your fellow audience members - and ponder their faces as they witness this atrocity. OR - like in my theater - there were 4 ladies sitting to my left that actually laughed throughout the film. They were literally alone. They were middle-aged and seemingly lucid. I can not account for their reactions. BEWARE - SEE AT YOUR OWN RISK

Readers Talkback
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  • June 19, 2008, 3:48 a.m. CST

    Oh behave...

    by Charlie & Tex

    ...well, we guess that Myers had it coming. Is he QUITE so sure that he wants to rule out making another Wayne's World movie now?

  • June 19, 2008, 3:48 a.m. CST

    So you liked it then Harry?

    by monkeygiles

  • June 19, 2008, 3:48 a.m. CST

    maybe they were baby boomer slags?

    by quantize

    who knows Myers was hardy funny at the best of times..the ride's end is overdue

  • June 19, 2008, 3:49 a.m. CST


    by jamaicanpenguin

    Thank god, i wanted this to be awful. Mike Myers is vastly overated

  • June 19, 2008, 3:49 a.m. CST

    p.s who knows what the review would have been if harry got a spe

    by quantize


  • June 19, 2008, 3:50 a.m. CST

    ..ecial screening?

    by quantize


  • June 19, 2008, 3:50 a.m. CST

    someone is typing as you are typing 'first'

    by quantize

    wake up loser

  • June 19, 2008, 3:51 a.m. CST


    by StanTheProgressor

    See subject.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:52 a.m. CST

    I knew it

    by Quartermass-87

    Yep I knew the bad reviews would come...heck they came months ago...Myers time has come and gone...I ain't defending the flick I haven't seen but may just to see if anything can be as hideous as this seems...I am a horror fan But despite the flick....why do people so completely hate Mike Myers? I dunno...really I guess its his turn to get the I just hope when they make Autin Powers 4 and if its good people don't jump back on the bandwagon....and say...oh its good to have Austin Powers back. SOmetimes I read reviews and I see the movie and I agree....the movie is shit....pure crap....but I sure don't hate the actor...or director...its a need to be glad for the hopeful end of a career.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:52 a.m. CST

    The Ads

    by shellfishh

    I just can't believe that they are running tv ads with Meyer's character saying "What is it you cunt face?"

  • June 19, 2008, 3:53 a.m. CST



    I saw it at the Alamo Drafthouse South - just like all my "special screenings" - And Moriarty got to sit down and interview Mike Myers. So I'd say AICN was treated well. BUT THE FILM IS BENEATH SHIT

  • June 19, 2008, 3:57 a.m. CST

    A serious question Harry

    by shellfishh

    It DOES look like shit in the ads, but is ANY of it funny? The Verne Troyer stuff at least looks like it is worth a chuckle.

  • June 19, 2008, 4 a.m. CST


    by Jay Jay

    ..THAT'S how your Indy 4 review should have read. Have you had time to reconsider that turd yet?

  • June 19, 2008, 4:01 a.m. CST

    It's not that Myers has lost it as a comedian..

    by TheAllSeeingEye

    Comedy has just moved on and Myers is a distinctly late 80's cheesball. I always thought Austin Powers was painful to watch too but it did have its moments. Another Waynes World would probably be just as unwatchable. The original is a classic and you take it for what it is but in the 21st century, comedy like Borat has put this crap to bed.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:01 a.m. CST

    It is a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette and drinking a Coors

    by sleepingtiger

    I know you didn't like the film, but there's no need to insult my mother.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:02 a.m. CST

    I am shocked (ish!)

    by Marxeffect

    Myers' characters are usually worth a few laughs at least, with Dr Evil being my all time fav. Oh well, i was going to wait for the DVD anyway! P.S Harry, were the 4 woman to your left, sniffing coke off each others cracks? Just wondering

  • June 19, 2008, 4:03 a.m. CST

    $75m?? Yeah... that'll show em!!

    by BendersShinyAss

    Dude, if you hate it that much why would you wish such a fortune upon them? wouldn't 75 cents be more in line with your venum? fuck i wish someone would wish 75 mil on me, then point and laugh saying "eat it"

  • June 19, 2008, 4:03 a.m. CST


    by Boba Fat

    I like this Hulk-mad Harry. We don't get to see him that often. In fact in all my years reading stuff here Harry's always been able to find something positive in films many other would write off and I admire that about him. But - unless he went into the operating theatre upside down and they put that lapband on his nuts - this is a about as damming a review a film could get.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:03 a.m. CST

    But Harry....

    by BendersShinyAss

    after your hatred for X3 and your praise for undercover brother... i just don't know about your reviews anymore

  • June 19, 2008, 4:04 a.m. CST

    "injecting hydrochloric acid into your left teste"

    by Ray Gamma

    Harry, does that involve chocolate-covered pussy juice, a taint, a nuclear fridge and flames on optimus prime? Was the teste too silvery?

  • June 19, 2008, 4:06 a.m. CST

    Harry, I remember your review of "Matrix Reloaded"

    by NoDiggity

    You have re-evaluated it since, but you saw "Reloaded" drunk and tired, and panned it. If you saw this one sober and awake, I'm willing to trust you, but please tell us your state of mind, and inebriation when you saw this one. I ask because, after all, it is called the Alamo DRAFTHOUSE, and I assume they still serve beer, and people can watch it drunk if they so choose.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:07 a.m. CST

    Looks like more fun than Get Smart !

    by barnaby jones

    I'm a fan of both Carell and Myers, but i can't sit through another goofy Spy/Secret agent/police officer movie, i just can't.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:10 a.m. CST

    Never cared for Myers much

    by m_reporter

    I've expected this to be a turd-ball of a film.<p> Also Harry heres a tip, when you review films, besides wasting 300 words on saying it's shit, loose some word on why it's shit. Give an example of it's shittyness. <p> Especially if you're asking for the death of someones career in the 1st paragraph.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:10 a.m. CST

    If Harry hates the film

    by tomdolan04

    then cripes it must be bad.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:10 a.m. CST

    Get Smart

    by shellfishh

    I know I am setting myself up to be disappointed, but I am only getting good vibes about Get Smart. It looks funny.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:15 a.m. CST

    Wow, we've just seen the re-emerging of Harry's contempt....

    by Gabba-UK

    I was wondering where that went. Good to see it again. Nurture it Harry, keep it warm and safe. It makes you a better critic. Ying and Yang and all that..

  • June 19, 2008, 4:16 a.m. CST

    IF Harry saw the film drunk ....

    by NoDiggity

    ... and that's IF, then his review, negative or positive, can't be trusted. Not because he's Harry, but because no one's opinion can be trusted drunk. Hopefully beer is off the diet of his lap-band surgery, but people have been known to cheat.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:23 a.m. CST

    You were NEVER going to like this

    by skeletonjack matter how good or bad the film is your mind was made up way before you entered the theater. Only a few days ago there was a story on here where it said you would never watch it. I'll judge the film objectively after i've seen it.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:27 a.m. CST



    Saw it sober at my favorite theater - THE ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE SOUTH. The film fell flatter than you could imagine. Juvenile doesn't cover it. It was simply painful and excruciating. The immensity of what didn't work is overwhelming. As nothing did work. Except for the 4 middle-aged ladies - The audience was dead. These four women were a cackling quad of creaky crows - and we all expected them to attack our hair Tippi style. <BR><BR>The gags with Verne Troyer are all straight from Austin Powers. Almost without exception - and the one exception was calling him "Frodo". Myers' facial character tics are all exactly the same as they are in Austin Powers - only with infinitely deader material. (and I liked the Austin Powers films) <BR><BR>It's terrible.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:28 a.m. CST



    Can't have it. With the Lap Band - I can never have a fizzy or carbonated drink again.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:29 a.m. CST



    god be with you

  • June 19, 2008, 4:33 a.m. CST

    as for my "You couldn't drag me to this"


    Statement - that came before I had a conversation with Moriarty where he said he liked it. I decided that I should let go and see the film. My wife was curious about JT's character in the film - so I decided we should check it out. My wife blames me for her having to see the film. I blame her - and it has resulted in our first fight. She's meaner than me.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:33 a.m. CST

    No beer ever again!!!

    by jaws8u

    This seems like the beginning of many a bad review

  • June 19, 2008, 4:34 a.m. CST


    by parallax_r

    Harry, I salute you - you are a far braver man than I . . .

  • June 19, 2008, 4:34 a.m. CST



    I've always preferred Bourbon and Whiskey and Wine

  • June 19, 2008, 4:36 a.m. CST

    Harry, how about Indy 4?

    by Jay Jay

    Did you REALLY think it was that good?

  • June 19, 2008, 4:37 a.m. CST

    oh - and contrary to popular belief


    I've rarely been drunk, stoned or intoxicated on anything beyond a glee for life, sex and cinema

  • June 19, 2008, 4:37 a.m. CST

    So you can still have all of those I take it...

    by jaws8u

    I can here the doctor now: "No more beer ever." Harry: "What about Whiskey?" Doctor: "Sure drink up... Actually you should try to drink more whiskey if at all possible."

  • June 19, 2008, 4:37 a.m. CST



    I enjoyed the hell out of it

  • June 19, 2008, 4:38 a.m. CST

    So Harry

    by phalaughul

    whats more recommendable this fri... get smart or love guru, i mean one of them wii be top of the box office

  • June 19, 2008, 4:40 a.m. CST

    Ok, fair enough!

    by Jay Jay

    Thanks for answering my question so promptly.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:42 a.m. CST

    Myers potential downfall

    by Kefrif

    So Harry - not a fan of this I see. It's interesting that Myers would fall so far, really. I wonder how much of it has to do with not being directed by Jay Roach this time? Or is it characters that fall flat and Schanbel/Myers can't give them wings? Seems a shame, but will watch it to see how much of a train wreck it really is...

  • June 19, 2008, 4:42 a.m. CST

    Didn't know that about lap bands...

    by Gabba-UK

    MAJOR BUMMER!!! No cold ones with your mates? Ever!!! Harry I don't always trust your judgements, but your sincerity about wanting to change your lifestyle and get back into shape, that I do trust. Better man than me fella.... no beer ever??? Man, that sucks!!!

  • June 19, 2008, 4:45 a.m. CST

    Get Smart is very funny.

    by Imagikafan

    I saw an advanced screening of it on Monday night, and I really enjoyed it. It's been a long time since I've seen episodes of the tv series, but Max didn't seem to be as inept in the movie. As for Anne Hathaway...she's the perfect Agent 99. Tough, smart, and hot. :) Favorite scenes: Airplane bathroom scene...ouch Party dance scene...very funny Laser alarm scene...hilarious

  • June 19, 2008, 4:45 a.m. CST



    The fizzy stuff can possibly cause Band slippage. Which would result in a procedure. Alcohol in general tends to be high in calories and to excess could cause sever vomiting - which again - can cause band slippage. Along with long term liver damage. <BR><BR>My mother was a severe alcoholic - so I've never been a drink to excess type anyway. But an occasional moderately and semi-responsible drunk is fine. And by that I mean once every couple of months.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:45 a.m. CST

    Wow, honest review, but the holocaust bit was OTT dude!

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    How can you & Mori be so very different on the movie? I know it's got a terrible score at RT, but it can't really be that bad ....... can it?

  • June 19, 2008, 4:47 a.m. CST

    Quint enjoyed GET SMART


    quite a bit - and most every critic I've talked to enjoyed GET SMART quite a bit.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:48 a.m. CST

    But what about ....

    by phalaughul

    you Harry, did you enjoy Get Smart ?

  • June 19, 2008, 4:48 a.m. CST

    "But an occasional moderately and semi-responsible drunk is fine

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    Well that's me in a nutshell! I tell ya, if my doctor turned round and told me no wine for ever more, I might very well nut punch him!

  • June 19, 2008, 4:51 a.m. CST



    didn't get invited to the GET SMART screening - although I've been wanting to see it.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:52 a.m. CST

    Moriarty tends to have pretty shit taste in comedies


    In my opinion - it's where Drew and I usually have a serious divide. And there's no understanding it. Ebert once told me you can't talk someone into laughing at something they think isn't funny - and you can't talk a man into an erection if he isn't turned on.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:53 a.m. CST

    Heh heh

    by Jay Jay

    These talkbacks are awesome. I love it when Harry's online. So, eh, what's up? What's the weather like over there? Sunny and breezy here in Dublin, Ireland.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:54 a.m. CST

    Hell I laughed at the farting scene in Superhero movie....

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    but I hated myself for it and self-flagelate every day to make up for the sin. And i'm not even albino!!

  • June 19, 2008, 4:54 a.m. CST

    Thats understandable

    by phalaughul

    i personally believe that Get Smart wii most likely dominate the box office, however due to certain misfortunate circumstances like the idiocy of our youthful generation, teenagers alone could give the Love Guru a possible number 1 spot, but who knows

  • June 19, 2008, 4:55 a.m. CST

    Moderately/ semi-responsible drunk...

    by jaws8u

    It's rarely worth going past that point anyway... We are all rooting for you and thanks for the response.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:55 a.m. CST

    Welcome back Harry!

    by cookiepuss

    Not that you ever left but this review is what old school AICN butt kicking is all about - if I drank milk it would have been out of my nose.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Oh and Harry ..... GO TO BED!!!!!

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    It's really damn early, at least i'm at work doing something constructive *cough*

  • June 19, 2008, 5:01 a.m. CST

    can't - addicted to the MAD MEN blu ray


    love this show

  • June 19, 2008, 5:03 a.m. CST

    Now don't make me come over there!

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    (Actually please do, I need a holiday from the crap weather in the UK)

  • June 19, 2008, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Crap here too Bubbaloola

    by Jay Jay

    Summer my arse!

  • June 19, 2008, 5:08 a.m. CST

    Well as your still up Harry, new Wanted clip for ya....

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    over at Empire:<P> Enjoy!

  • June 19, 2008, 5:09 a.m. CST

    you know what yackbacker...

    by phalaughul

    Im actually gonna agree with you here... The dark knight will be "chocolate covered pussy juice" famously used by Harry himself

  • June 19, 2008, 5:09 a.m. CST

    actually - I'll be in London SUNDAY morning


    till the 25th.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:10 a.m. CST

    saw WANTED yesterday


    pretty damn good!

  • June 19, 2008, 5:11 a.m. CST


    by phalaughul

    the actual movie or just the clip?

  • June 19, 2008, 5:11 a.m. CST

    I see DARK KNIGHT in Gotham


    at the New York Premiere - I literally am frothing to see the movie.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:12 a.m. CST


    by Papa Lazaru

    Hey Harry . Dont suppose you'll be in Dublin while on your travels . Guinness aint got any fizz or Bubbles :-)

  • June 19, 2008, 5:12 a.m. CST

    the movie


    WANTED is badass - though I'm not in love with Elfman's score

  • June 19, 2008, 5:12 a.m. CST

    The animosity in this review seems sort of personal....

    by FlickaPoo

    ...makes me wonder if it has anything to do with all of those rumors about Mike Myers being a dick to work with etc.....

  • June 19, 2008, 5:13 a.m. CST

    and it only has 6 carbs a pint


  • June 19, 2008, 5:14 a.m. CST

    Not that there is anything wrong with personal...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...if Mitt Romney made a movie I'd hate it on principle too...

  • June 19, 2008, 5:16 a.m. CST

    Yeah Harry, come to Dublin!

    by Jay Jay

    There are LOADS of people over here who would love to see ya!

  • June 19, 2008, 5:16 a.m. CST

    Lots of carbs

    by Papa Lazaru

    I'm afraid . Although we do have a shit load of whiskeys to choose from . Hos the exercise been going by the way. Hope you're keeping it up too.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:16 a.m. CST

    Myers should make a movie about the ADHD kid from SNL.

    by Its a LION

    Watching him drag a jungle gym down the street for 90 minutes would be at least as good as his last three movies.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:17 a.m. CST



    it is personal - his movie PERSONALLY SUCKED ASS. As for Mike being a dick - I have no personal knowledge of that. He seems quite nice in Drew's interview. Very human. But I wonder how he would have reacted to an angry and belligerent interview. He probably would've made me out to be an ass. But I would have asked him about the rampant recycling of material... for the umpteenth time. Ask him about how Peter Sellers' characters were distinctly and wholly different creations that bore little resemblance to one another - yet his work is filled with the same arched eyebrow, the same winks in camera, the same short jokes, the same toilet humor, the same sexual performance issues - and he hasn't improved on any of it - in fact - it is simply dead.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:18 a.m. CST

    I say Harry reviews every comedy from here on out

    by Alcevious

    Seriously. I don't think I've liked any one of these "bit" comedies since Austin Powers (this excludes the Judd Aptaow films). If my feelings could write angry hate-filled reviews they'd be just like Harry's.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:18 a.m. CST

    Elfman's score???

    by jaws8u

    Do you think that it just didn't fit the movie? Or is it also a bad standalone piece? I would love to see Elfman return to form...very disappointing to here that he didn't here. Although admittedly, WANTED didn't really seem like something he should have been working on in the first place. Here is to crossing our fingers for Hellboy 2.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:19 a.m. CST

    Papa Lazaru


    I've only just been approved to go back to the gym. I've a bit of travel I have to do over the next 3 weeks - then it's back to the gym every day for an hour + a day.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:19 a.m. CST

    And why do i keep saying here instead of hear...

    by jaws8u

  • June 19, 2008, 5:20 a.m. CST

    Harry, do you need recommendations of where to go in London?

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    Let me know dude, and why are you coming over here? Or is it a secret ..... shhhh!

  • June 19, 2008, 5:21 a.m. CST

    Good Man

    by Papa Lazaru

    Keep it mate . I've been trying to do the same . An hour plus everyday . Its tough though, but its working , no doubt about it.

  • <br>gimme a shout and i'll buy you a fruit juice or two. wow no carbonated drinks ever. bummer.</br> <br> mcqu33n<at></br>

  • June 19, 2008, 5:26 a.m. CST

    that was

    by Mr_X


  • June 19, 2008, 5:26 a.m. CST

    I've never been a fan and I haven't even seen...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...most of the Austin Powers stuff, but yesterday Myers was on Fresh Air and they played a clip of Dr. Evil in therapy with his son and I must confess....I laughed my ass off. Hadn't laughed at Mike Myers like that since the Macaulay Culkin boomlooker sketch......Cheeky Monkey...

  • June 19, 2008, 5:26 a.m. CST

    no spam or porn please

    by Mr_X

    ok. porn if you insist

  • June 19, 2008, 5:26 a.m. CST

    so Harry, on a scale of minus 10 to minus 100

    by Holgi65

    how bad is it? I am actually faszinated with the imdb worst list of films. Probably will sometime do a little youtube doc on them. But how bad can a Hollywood comedy get, and did the studio know about it?

  • June 19, 2008, 5:31 a.m. CST


    by mrfan

    Loved Harry's review. Damn funny. This movie doesn't look good at all. Nothing in the trailer even makes me chuckle. I need to at least chuckle. Not upchuckle.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:33 a.m. CST

    london trip


    is to hang out on WOLF MAN set - and watch Benicio in Rick Baker's makeup in a fight.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:35 a.m. CST

    WOW! I Think This Is The 1st Time Harry Didn't LOVE A Movie

    by LaserPants

    Seriously! This is an amazing day. Not only didn't he love this, he HATED it! So it truly must be the worst movie ever made. Myers is done.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:35 a.m. CST

    Oh man!!!!! I'd hate you if you weren't so damned loveable!

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    You gonna be having a major geek out. Oh and I hope Rick is doing ok after Stan left us. Dunno if they were close, but Stan must have been an influence.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:37 a.m. CST

    How Long Before Jessica Alba Is Forced Into Porn?

    by LaserPants

    Thats what I want to know. She's been in a string of bombs and her star is waning fast. She's still one of the most beautiful women on the planet, however. I can't wait until Jessica Alba and Lindsey Lohan are forced into doing porn. Preferably together. Covered in gallons of my sticky seed.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:40 a.m. CST

    LaserPants: You had me all the way upto your sticky seed!

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    Then it kinda all fell flat for me, no offence.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:43 a.m. CST


    by JKrow21

  • June 19, 2008, 5:45 a.m. CST


    by JKrow21

    Reboot Xmen.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:46 a.m. CST

    No Problem, Big_Bubbaloola

    by LaserPants

    I understand completely.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:48 a.m. CST

    The Dark Knight

    by Virtual Satyr

    Will apologize for the bad films.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:49 a.m. CST

    Hey, Harry...

    by Charlie & Tex

    ...wanna go for a beer in London?

  • June 19, 2008, 5:50 a.m. CST

    XMen Is Done, We Should Let It Go

    by LaserPants

    Even the comics suck now. Actually, they've sucked for years. They used to be my favorite superheros too, now I can't stand them. And no, it wasn't because of X3. I thought X3 was okay. Not good, not great, but entertaining if disappointing.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:51 a.m. CST

    The problem with Myers

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    They say that the mark of a good comedy is that the characters don't know they're in a comedy.<br><br> Myers' characters not only know they're in a comedy they constantly wink and mug and scream "HAY GUSY! THIS IS A COMEDY! YOU SHOULD LAUGH HA HA! COMEDY! WHOO!"

  • June 19, 2008, 5:52 a.m. CST

    But What If DARK KNIGHT Sucks?

    by LaserPants

    I don't think it will, I'm super excited for it too, but what if its no good? Or even worse -- what if it almost makes it to classic awesome, but falls just short? *shudder* Lets hope not. I really want it to be awesome.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:52 a.m. CST

    Oh and...

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    It's not funny to begin with.<br><br> Forgot about that.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:56 a.m. CST

    If TDK fails, I will set myslef on fire.

    by Virtual Satyr

    A give a big collective hug to all of those responsible for this summer of crap movies.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:02 a.m. CST

    I hope the TDK is great

    by tomdolan04

    and the signs are good but no-one I know buys the hype train anymore. <p> Did last years Spidey 3 teach the fansites nothing?

  • June 19, 2008, 6:03 a.m. CST

    Harry, Where is your "The Happening" review?

    by BobParr

    After your praise of LADY IN THE WATER it will bring you some credibility to write a full review and explain why you didn't like it. And while you're at it you should admit that Eli Roth sucks balls as well.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:05 a.m. CST

    The only thing that could improve on this review

    by Paulseta

    is if Mike Myers took out a full page ad in Variety and tried to defend his "movie". <pr> More the point, Harry, that was one of the single greatest demolition jobs on a film. Ever. <pr> You reviewed The Love Guru in the same way that Truman reviewed Hiroshima in 1945. I mean, this is top-shelf stuff. I truly believe that if Ebert were still alive and not an animatronic puppet, he would have approved. <pr> Shame to hear about the Elfman score for Wanted, but then most of us know just how much Steve Bartek contributed to the early classic Elfman scores (well, that and all the Hermann he was ripping off);-) <pr> Well done again, it's nice to see some teeth on the site.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:11 a.m. CST

    Haven't seen Harry write such a negative review

    by Stupendous Man

    in like EVER...or at least a long time... harry likes everything... but you gotta love his use of the english language! "But in the realm of film going experiences - it's a third trimester abortion. It is a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette and drinking a Coors Light." Awesome!

  • June 19, 2008, 6:21 a.m. CST

    Damn You Michael Bay


    Damn You Michael Bay

  • June 19, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Wow. Good review big guy, and love the interaction as well

    by Jonah Echo

    I'm with Harry in I didn't see anything redeeming from the previews or anything else regarding this. Not surprised to hear it is torturous. The Happening, however, does deserve it's own review. Made Lady in the Water look like Citizen Kane.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:30 a.m. CST

    I believe you, HeadGeek.

    by NoDiggity

    I had Saturday Night Live on the other night, and Mike Myers was asking some band to perform the "Wayne's World" theme, and they were complying, and I was amazed that they were still doing Waynes World skits on SNL.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:33 a.m. CST

    So it's Mystery Men II

    by Gay Jesus Christ

    I remember watching Mystery Men and it being so awful I turned around and was trying to look directly into the faces of the people sitting behind me. Staring for at least ten minutes at their reactions and trying to freak them out. Then I tried to walk out of the theater but my girl wouldn't let me. I had the same feeling with Dracula: dead and loving it. I don't understand why Harry hates this movie though cause from the trailers it looked like Austin Powers 2, which I recall Harry loved and raved about. I hated austin powers 2.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:35 a.m. CST

    even Harry dissed it!

    by captainCAPSLOCK

    you know you've got a real stinker when Harry shitcans your movie. i'm stunned, cuz he gives movies more than their fair share of slack.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:40 a.m. CST

    Great! Can't Wait!

    by OgreYouAsshole

  • June 19, 2008, 6:44 a.m. CST

    Oh come on. MYSTERY MEN was hilarious!

    by NoDiggity

    And I saw it sober. I loved the Blue Raja. The director, on the DVD commentary, discussed the deleted scenes, and almost invariably regretted every scene that was cut, and he was right, they were all gold! That never happens. I'm so sad that movie was a bomb. It didn't deserve to be.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:45 a.m. CST

    The Happening

    by Lobanhaki

    <br>I know I probably can't talk you into liking the film, but I hope I can talk you into giving it a second chance.</br> <br>I walked in expecting truly embarrassing scenes. I didn't see one. I know some reviewers zero in on that plant-talking scene, but that scene was supposed to be intentionally funny.</br> <br>I think people walked into the movie with too many expectations. They were expecting a bloodbath. The movie isn't. Some walk in having been pumped up with Shyamalan hatred, looking for the film to fail.</br> <br>What struck me about the film is it's progression, as the main character becomes more and more isolated. This is the spine of the story, I think, and what Shyamalan intended the story to be about. Follow that, and you'll see what others see when they think well of it.</br>

  • June 19, 2008, 6:45 a.m. CST

    Gotta hand it to Dana Carvey

    by Doc_Hudson

    He knew when it was time,....Mike's Shriek money should have been a clue...(leave now,...plz)

  • June 19, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    Danny Elfman's WANTED score...

    by forrestal_was_good

    I thought it was pretty solid. His best since the first two Spidey flicks, IMO. Speaking of scores, I was quite impressed with Craig Armstrong's work on THE INCREDIBLE HULK (despite its lack of a truly memorable theme).

  • June 19, 2008, 6:58 a.m. CST

    Harry, you never state why it's bad, you just rant

    by Trazadone

    What about it is so awful? Can you be a little more specific? This is hardly a film review.

  • June 19, 2008, 7 a.m. CST

    I'm wishing 75million on BendersShinyAss

    by beefywhore

    There..thats my good deed for the day...

  • June 19, 2008, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Wonder how Nolan feels

    by m_reporter

    OH THE PRESSURE!!!<p>People seriously expect too much from TDK, no way it's gonna meet everyones expectations.<p> If it does its gonna be like a war-stopping, world-hunger-solving, bringing-back-elvis-from-the-dead miracle of a movie.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST

    wow...I'm guessing...

    by only1

    That Mike Myers & Co lowballed the $$$ for Harry's review. I mean, when's the last time we got a bad review... from HARRY??? :-P Just kidding, of course, Harry. I love the headline, though... th'as freaking hilarious... probably funnier than anything in the flick. A DJ I listen to has a theory that if a tv spot shows clips from the film to a recent radio hit, the movie will be bad... Love Guru does and he's expecting to to be a massive failure. looks like he wasn't too far off the mark. But... Harry... for a "review" there was little said for the film and more like a ranting session. Maybe that's the only reaction an audience will have after watching this. And to think, my fiancee wants to see it for Timberlake wearing a speedo.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Mike Myers biggest mistake in the Love Guru was...

    by TVguy4566

    He didn't make his movie part of the Marvel Universe. If he did, Harry would had been gushing over this movie.<br><br> Myers should have had his character get drunk with Tony Stark, have a cameo by some obscure character who appeared in "The Incredible Hulk" # 236, or Jessica Alba in her Fantastic Four outfit. Then Harry would just go on and on how much he loves that he now has a true Marvel Universe on film and totally forget to review the movie at all.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST


    by forrestal_was_good

    ...was truly awful. I gave it a chance, I really did... but every aspect of the film fell completely flat. There was absolutely no suspense or mystery and the "gore" moments failed to shock or even mildly disturb. Both Wahlberg and Deschanel delivered horribly wooden performances, but who could blame them? M. Night's poor writing and shockingly deficient directing brought down the entire cast and prevented even a single moment of genuine emotion to shine through. The flimsy concept was not enough to justify the running time (which at 90 minutes was about 50 minutes too long) and the ending was neither original nor satisfying. Trust me when I say the film is a complete and utter mess. R.I.P. M. Night Shyamalan.

  • This is a pissed off movie review. It does look like complete shyte!

  • June 19, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Harry Cranky

    by BobParr

    Stupid, crappy, old talkback software!!!

  • June 19, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Harry Cranky

    by BobParr

    Stupid, crappy, old talkback software!!!

  • June 19, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Harry Cranky

    by BobParr

    Stupid, crappy, old talkback software!!!

  • June 19, 2008, 7:28 a.m. CST

    Cap'n Jack

    by BobParr

    I'm usually unsympathetic to morbidly obese fat asses and their surgery, but Harry can't walk. An hour a day of hard work at the gym can cure what ails most fat asses, but he simply can't burn enough calories sitting in a chair all the time. We take for granted the calories we burn just by walking around, doing chores, etc. over the course of the day. That's no excuse to balloon up to over 400 lbs. but hopefully he'll be able to lose enough weight to become more active and keep the weight off with a healthy lifestyle.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    what is it about?

    by dioxholster

    and is it so bad that it is funny?, like sometimes a movie could be so badly made to the level that i begin enjoying laughing at it and feel sorry for it in a mean spirited way. and giggle at how lots of pple worked hard in such a movie thinking that it would be great when in fact they spent sleepless nights working on a shithole for the assinema.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    How longs it been since your surgery Harry?

    by pr1c3y

    I for one will rewatch So I Married An Axe Murderer again Myers appearance on American Idol killed this film before it's birth.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    When I read Harry's reviews...

    by Bobo_Vision

    ...I replace all the adjectives with their exact opposite. The last paragraph reads like this: <p> Jokingly - the only problem I can imagine with this film - is to not watch your fellow audience members - and ponder their faces as they witness this magnifico. OR - like in my theater - there were 4 ladies sitting to my left that actually didn't laugh throughout the film. They were literally alone. They were middle-aged and seemingly wasted. I can account for their reactions. ATTENTION - SEE AT ALL COSTS!!!

  • June 19, 2008, 7:37 a.m. CST


    by vadakinX

    Did I read that right? Did you seriously weigh this movie up against the Holocaust and compare it to abortion? That seems extreme for just a can't be that bad... <p> It can't be worse than Freddy Got Fingered...can it? CAN IT???

  • June 19, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    Bobo, that's hilarious!

    by Trazadone

    I rarely take Harry's reviews seriously either although this movie does look awful.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    I've never found Myers funny...

    by DanielKurland

    I was watching my Best of Steve Martin SNL DVD the other day, and there's a very long sketch on it with Myers playing some old British actor and it's fucking painful to get through, and it made me think about how I've never really thought he's funny. I've surely laughed at movies he's in, and even stuff he's done, but I do not think he's funny. I live in Toronto and there's a huge Love Guru billboard up, and just looking at, and everyone's facial expressions, and the unnecessary inclusion of Verne Troyer, just angers me, and depresses me about comedy. If an Austin Powers 4 happens, I would not be surprised if Myers put some brief stupid cameo by the Love Guru in it.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Shyamalan should thank Myers

    by bobjustbob

    THE LOVE GURU may prevent THE FAPPENING from being recognized as the biggest film disaster of the year.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    So then why bring up the Holocaust?

    by Mr. Profit

    In the first place? Anyhow is it funnier than Indy 4? Because Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Nuked Fridges and Shenanigans was the best comedy this Summer.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Meyers was hilarious on Letterman

    by ThrowMeTheIdol

    He can be funny if he really wants to. All I can figure is that he has a low opinion of audience tastes and so he doesn't use his good stuff in his movies.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    And yet Crystal Skull gets a free pass??

    by DiamondJoe

    I've no doubt that the Love Guru is shite, but the first couple of paragraphs of this review should have applied to Crystal Skull. Anyone who gave that film a positive review has forever pissed away any credibility as a serious critic. Sorry Harry.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, Harry

    by Dr. Zempf

    ...but did you like it?

  • June 19, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    People people

    by krunchyone

    Why do you give Harry so much crap? You come to his house, enjoy his stuff (for free, mind you), and give him non-stop crap not only for his current reviews, but for reviews he wrote 5 years ago. Why so angry, people?

  • June 19, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    From the Guy Who Liked...

    by Wrath4771

    Cabin Fever and Diary of the Dead. I'm sorry, but when Harry doesn't like a movie, I have a feeling there is something worth while to see. Yet, I say this and also think The Happening is something if poop got the movie on it then....wait....where was I going with that part?

  • June 19, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST

    I could understand this sort of venom directed at Sandler...

    by Zeke25:17

    but for whatever reason, I've always liked Myers' stuff (for example, if he'd starred in Zohan, I would have seen it). The Love Guru was not something I was eager to see, but the trailer had me laughing out loud....I suspect it's not something you can codify; certain things just affect certain people differently. Most critics loved Pretty Woman--I hated it. Most people hate the Matrix sequels--I thought they were terrific. But we can all agree on one thing: Jessica Alba and Asia Argento must do a love scene together as soon as possible.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Oh thank god

    by Series7

    A negative review for once. All is right with the world. I don't think I've seen one of these since The Fog, and on one bored summer day it came on and I watched and sure enough Sir Harry Knowles was 100% dead on. I will yet again head your judgement and avoid this movie like Mike Myers avoids being funny on late night talk shows.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST


    by CherryValance

    That's some review. I'm still going. The trailers look totally hilarious to me. If it's that bad, I'll admit it though.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    shit that makes shit seem HELLO KITTY cuddily

    by palewook

    lol. ok you win. i wont see this pos ever. not even for free. nor at gunpoint..

  • June 19, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    I meant critical disaster, not monetary

    by bobjustbob

    I mean in the "WTF were they thinking?" disaster. But I would agree many would say that SPEED RACER would fall into this category too.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Finally, a Thunbs Down from Mr. Loved It!

    by cowboyone

    In the same way that constantly utilizing ALL CAPS and exclamation points results in negating any contextual meaning for the symbols; when ALL your film reviews are overwhelmingly positive they become irrelevant. (Indy4?!) Although I was encouraged by your comments about the Happening. What a stumbling, confused shit show.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    This probably won't even be a rental

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    But I can't wrap my mind around the concept of a person giving this a puss-filled thumbs down, but giving a pass (and by pass I mean gushing, trembling, crying and quaking in your boots) to Indy 4, Lady in the Water and Silver Surfer.<p> It's kind of like a guy a the National Turd Convention who passes on the buffalo turd on a stick booth but is first in line at the hippo turd fondue vendor.<p>It doesn't matter if it's directed by a bum named Marco Schnabel (I had to look up the Love Guru guy too) or one of the greatest directors of our time, Steven Spielberg. Bad dialogue, bad characters and jokes that fall flat shouldn't be given a resounding pass on one project and them brutally punched in the face on other.<p>This review should have been what Harry wrote for Semi-Pro as well because that movie didn't make me laugh once and was more generic than a redneck drinking Bud Light at a Toby Keith concert. But, he gave it a pass. I thank Harry everyday for this site and in a weird sort of way I love the guy in a way that you can love someone you've never met but his reviews........I don't get them.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Actually, I take it back...

    by DanielKurland

    There's a moment in a Dave Foley made for TV Christmas Special where Mike Myers is bathing in a bathtub full of money and the dialogue is something like "Do you want the Austin Powers money today or the Wayne's World money?" "I'm feeling nostalgic. Give me the Wayne's World money." THAT is funny. I'd imagine Foley wrote it though...

  • June 19, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Myers is a mystery to me


    Bit like Adam Sandler who I just can't watch! The only thing I ever laughed at of Mike Myers was 'I married an AxeMurder' where he plays a family of Ginger Scottish folks and I think that was mostly because I'm Scottish and find the words Heed and Troosers amusing. Other than that the Austin Powers movies make my skin crawl! and I Never saw Waynes World coz it looked like annoying shite!

  • June 19, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    why is everyone pretending..

    by Jonah Echo

    that Harry is the only critic that liked Indy? The movie has a 70 some percent positive on Rotten Tomatoes. Our local critic here in Baltimore gave it a B+. Ebert and several others gave it the equivalent of 3 and a half stars. In fact, many of the reviews here were positive(Mori called his a mixed review, but it was predominantly positive. In fact, I don't recall Harry praising all the things that others here identify as reasons they hated Indy. The rest just overshadowed those issues in his eyes. Honestly, I felt the same way. I went in worrying about gopher shenanigans and the fridge scene, and didn't pay much attention to the 3 seconds of groundhog and thought the fridge fit in well with past Indy peril scenes. The monkeys were too much, the cgi occasionally distracting, but I and pretty much everyone in my 10 person party who went to see this felt positively about the movie while acknowledging the misfires. The only true misfires that HURT the movie were Mac's character(inexplicably useless) and holding back the actual fall down the third waterfall(which counted most for the unreality)There they go, now they are safe. <p> Bottomline is no major reviewer seems to be calling for Indy's head or is really upset over it. Thats pretty much just the geek sites. And if geeks can get passionately angry, and art is subjective, than why is it so odd that the movie made Harry passionately happy.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    The Happening

    by Mr. Profit

    Worst reviews ever, but it's already made 60 million world wide. So it will unfortunately end up profitable. The movie I am really concerned with is Hellboy II. While the trailer looks great, I don't think people are worked up to go see it in the theater. And then the 900 pound gorilla (TDK) comes out a week later. So I think Speed Racer and Hellboy 2 may be the Summer losers. Wanted and Get Smart will be the surprises. And movies like Guru, Hulk and Happening will only break even. The biggest hits will probably be Iron Man, Indy Shenanigans, and TDK.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    It has the words Jessica Alba in the credits

    by Series7

    Doesn't that mean its going to suck? Also for JT being in it, I think he likes getting acting gigs just so he can pretend to be a weirdo. <P> I feel like this whole movie was concieved one day when Mike Myers was sitting around his office doing stupid voices/impressions and did this one and his agents were like "OH YEAH THATS FUNNY! You should make that into a movie!" Then he did a different voice and his agents where like "OH YEAH THATS FUNNY TOO! YOU SHOULD MAKE THAT A MOVIE AS WELL!" Then he did a combination of the two voices and his agents where like "OH MAN THATS HE BEST YET, YOU SHOULD MAKE THAT ANOTHER MOVIE! AND MAKE SEQUELS TO THEM!" Well all except his new agent who couldn't speak because Mike's balls where still in his mouth.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    I hope you are right...

    by Mr. Profit

    Because no one seems to be interested in it despite the awesome looking trailer. Looks like Guillermo really outdid himself.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    Even though we all enjoy it when you finally hate a movie and tell us. Don't tease us with the fact that you've seen Wall-E, Wanted and to a lesser extent Pineapple Express (which I'm not totally sure you've seen, but I know one of the elders has). Don't loosen me up letting me know that Danny Elfman has finally completed his musical rehab and is back and then not give me the jackpot. Thats just not right.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    The problem with modern comedy ...

    by No Respectable Gentleman

    ... is that the performers themselves initiate and write the material. Very few comedians are good writers. Thus we get a lot of fart jokes. Bring back Billy Wilder!

  • June 19, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    I feel the same way about Will Ferrell

    by sundancekeed

    I know scores of folks think he's a comedy genius, but I can watch one of his films and not laugh once. He's just not funny at all to me. Conversely, Myer's Fat Bastard character could be hilarious at times and I got a chuckle or two from Dr. Evil. I have no interest in The Love Guru. I could tell it was recycled Powers just from the ads.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    "This film isn't as bad as the Holocaust."

    by staycationstan

    Thanks for clearing that one up, Harry. I saw this movie the other night, and it's not nearly as bad as The Happening. It had some funny, if stupid, moments. Apparently Harry is one of the legion of Hollywood insiders whom Myers has pissed off.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    I was afraid of this

    by Powerring

    Mike tries like hell to invent characters, he really does. He has hit some home runs, and you kind of expect something good out of him. When I saw rotten tomatoes gave it 9% my stomach sank. I thought, oh no, a movie I had at least some hope for turned out to be even worse (by all accounts) that that horrible Zohan movie that I walked out on. I mean Zohan pissed me off after 1 hour and I swear that playing Atari "millipede" in the lobby was 10 times as fun as watching that POS. A bad movie bums me out. But a bad comedy just pisses me off. It has that effect of inducing contempt. So, we have "epic movie" "Meet the spartans" "Zohan" and now "Love guru" as some of the worst movies/bad comedies of the past decade.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Hellboy 2 will pwn

    by kilik777

    I predict the best comic book action movie of the year.

  • June 19, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    I took a bullet and went to see Zohan with a friend

    by CreasyBear

    who believed, for some reason, that it would be funny. Even though he picked the movie -- and therefore had sort of a vested interest in at least seeming to enjoy himself, if nothing else than to save face -- he could only muster up a laugh a few times. Most of the "jokes" in that movie produced as much laughter from the audience as if the entire movie was in a different language. Bad wacky-Myers has to be better than bad wacky-Sandler, no matter how bad wacky-Myers is.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST


    by iwontwin

    Dissing THE HAPPENING and THE LOVE people just can't get it right with him.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST


    by iwontwin

    why do indians have so much trouble in hollywood? Kal Penn is doing alright.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Speed Racer > everything else this summer

    by Sans Souci

    Yeah, it bombed like nothing else, but for me it was the perfect summer movie in a season of misfires and letdowns. Saw it twice, and both times left the theater grinning like a loon. <p> Still, the masses have spoken. They want their joyless Dark Knight, skanky women in NYC, and the latest Dreamworks Happy Meal. And I'm sure the reduced/reused/recycled comedy of The Love Guru will pack 'em in the multiplexes this weekend. But Mike Meyers needs to do another "54" to recharge his mojo.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    SoylentMean: Speed Racer


    I was one of the five. I really liked what they did with that movie. And I was not a fan of the Speedracer cartoon, I just like how the movie turned out. Would have been better if Christina Ricci had whipped off her clothes, but other than that . . . top notch.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    As I Recall, Harry Loved The Sixth Sense


    And much of M. Night's other work. He even had positive things to say about the atrocious Lady in the Water. And The Love Guru is a send-up of Indian culture--with a white guy as the hero, anyway, so I don't think Harry's opinions have anything to do with the Indian people generally, just two movies he didn't like.<br><br>Bobby Jindal for president. That is all.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Now that that's out of the way...

    by Sith Witch

    You can review a great movie, like Prince Caspian!

  • June 19, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST


    by g-ride9000

    I swear to god vern troyer was in the nightclub I do sound for, just last night...He was drinking Miller High Life!

  • June 19, 2008, 9:34 a.m. CST


    by DiamondJoe

    Yes, most critics said Indy 4 was pretty good, if not as good as the others. Every single one of them was FUCKING WRONG - it is easily the largest cinematic shit ever taken on a great franchise. Every single aspect of the film was inept, amateur and downright insulting. The script, the acting (with the exception of Lebeouf), the CG, the score, the dialogue, the MacGuffin. Absolutely everything - and I went in fully prepared to suspend disbelief and just enjoy the nostalgia. I've never had such a disappointing, stomach-churningly shit experience at the movies. Even the Star Wars prequels had at least the odd detail to recommend them - Darth Maul and er, that's it - but this wasn't just a let down, it was a fucking outrage. I simply cannot fathom how anyone who loves Indiana Jones could not consider Crystal Skull to be the equivalent of Lucas, Spielberg and Koepp walking into your house and pissing on your kids. And any film reviewer who can hand-on-heart say that it isn't has totally, COMPLETELY lost the plot on this one. Much like the film.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    It wont get a release because it will be deemed

    by emeraldboy

    as racist. There was an appalling jimi mistry filmed called the Guru. Horrendous. Heather Graham Flushed her career down the bog with that taking Marisa tomei with her.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    Sandler and Myers

    by Series7

    While I saw Zohan and liked it, I won't see Guru. I think the big difference is because while everyone shits on Sandler for makeing the same movie, I won't bother defending it all I'll say is that I think he makes 2 kinds of movies, at least Sandler tries to do different things. That and he has his own company and hires his buddies to make movies with. Plus while Sandler is super rich, it never feels like he is doing it for the money, unlike Myers. Most of Sandlers movies you feel like they probably had a blast making it, and probably the making of the movie may have been funnier then the final movie sometimes. Myers movies always feel way too forced and that he has to be the center of attention and has to play every part. He's turning into Eddie Murphy minus the tranny prostitutes. Both of them seem like nice enough guys, but Sandler is always funnier on talk shows then Myers, because it seems like Sandler knows his made some dumb silly movie. While Myers wants you to love his newest character more then he does. I mean lets face it, if Farley was still around, people would be saying the same thing about any movie he would end up making. Most comedic actors always do the same thing, and most of them get a stuck up ego about how much funnier they are then the rest of the world, like Myers/Ferrel/Murphy. Sandler has a ego yes, but it always feels like he is just having a good time with his buddies making some goofy movies.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    The Crystal Skull

    by bobjustbob

    seemed to be less MacGuffin and more Hot Potato.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    Yeah I hope people end up seeing Speed as well. My favorite of the summer thus far by a long shot. But I feel bad for people who waited to see it on the small screen, it was a movie that had to be seen on the big screen.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Harry you're a total idiot

    by ArcadianDS

    The character in the movie has an affectation where he explains a joke. ITS PART OF THE CHARACTER. The moments where he does that in the trailer, I found those to be charming and funny. Not fart-joke funny which I guess you went into this movie expecting, but funny nonetheless.<p> A professional review would have reviewed this movie on its own merits and not panned on it because it wasn't Austin Powers. "Get me a crocodile soup and make it snappy....because crocodiles bite and also I want it quickly *coy smirk*" <--- thats an affectation of the character as written. Its not because the joke needs to be explained.<p> Also thanks for the stupid shit jokes. They look really great next to that big obit to the dead guy who built puppets. Class Act.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST


    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Today you've become a god. Now go claim your spot between Buddha and Jesus.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    this broke dick website

    by ArcadianDS

    with a chat feature coded in 1994. anyway here's the other paragraph:<p> The joke isn't explained because it needs explaining or because Myers felt he had to explain them - its because the character himself is just that kind of guy. Its endearing and cute, which is the whole point.<p> oh and well done on the shit and abortion references. Those look great next to the big giant obit to that dead puppet maker with cancer. Class Act all the way at AICN.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    About what I expected

    by jackofhearts29

    ... especially since the previews themselves are suck sacks of negative comedic dark matter.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    ArcadianDS, don't worry the cavear is comming

    by g-ride9000

    Harry's been a class act since day one,this whole site sets the bar for poshness, respectability and panache. That's why all the classyest talkbackers come here. ohhh and don't forget a coaster for your non-carbonated beer.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST


    by ScottinDC

    I do believe this movie is utter crap...the trailer did nothing for me and I've long felt that Mike Meyers is incredibly overrated. BUT - all of Harry's reviews are tainted, in my opinion, after his moist lovefest of a review of the new Indy flick (which was an absolutel travesty of a beloved franchise...what a fucking awful movie).

  • June 19, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    I blame Jessica Alba by the way

    by TVguy4566

    if this film is as bad as Harry says it is, it has to be Jessica Alba. Has she been in a movie other than Sin City that was remotely watchable? And that was only good because she was a minor character. <br><br> Hell, even her in binkinis and skimpy outfits couldn't get me to sit through Honey or Into the Blue on cable with nothing else on. <br><br> She is like creativity poison.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Its been widely stated that Myers family

    by skimn

    and especially his father influenced his form of comedy. Its as though he stuck his head in the ground while Will Farrell made his arrogant man-boy comedies and the Apatow gang made their nerd/stoner love stories. Myers is stuck in a vaudvillian world of bawdy wordplay, double entendres, character make-up and silly costumes. His recent interview on AMC Shootout shown him to be very well versed in the detail of filmed comedy, and his love of Chaplin and Keaton is admirable. But nowadays, even the silliest comedies have a basis in reality (except for the dismal spoof movies), that Myers comedies seem to avoid.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    MSNBC agrees with Harry...they hated it even more!

    by Ninja Nerd

    The subhead in their review is "not a single laugh", which gibes with Harry's account of his screening (weird old ladies the exception). They do give specifics, and based on those, this does indeed sound bad. The reviewer feels that with the exception of "Strange Wilderness", this is the worst comedy of the year. So, some of you owe Harry apologies...he's not the only one who's calling this shit on a stick.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST


    by Mullah Omar

    I expect this film to suck, but you have given ZERO examples of how exactly this film failed. Let's hear about a joke that goes nowhere, or a scene that is offensive rather than funny, etc. <br> <br> You could have simply written "I hated this film" and you would have given us the same insight. <br> <br> Most useless "review" I've seen in a long time.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Ten bucks says Ebert likes it

    by Frat Boy

  • June 19, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    The Movie Is Worse Than Shit

    by Saluki

    Come on. Anyone that saw the trailer knew as much. Harry just took one for the team here.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST

    knew it. told all of you.


    i too like this angry harry review. as for those telling him to cite examples of this that didn't work, well, there are too many. you would simply have to say the whole movie doesn't work. and if you still don't believe it you should go see it so you can say 'OMG you were right- i'm sorry i doubted you'. <P>i'm with harry on this one. somethings are so bad they aren't worth explaining why.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    I don't get the Mike Myers hate

    by TVguy4566

    Some of his movies and SNL characters are all time classic. The first two Austin Powers movies were great. Waynes World was great. So I Married an Ax Murderer was great. His characters on SNL like Deiter, Linda Richmond, The guy who thinks things are crap, Wayne, Phillip the hyperactive child, etc. are classics SNL characters. Even his Simon character is better than 90% that is on today. The guy ain't perfect, but he usually does an entertaining movie. Everyone does a clunker or two or five. Just ask Will Ferrell, Jim Carrey, Steven Carrell, Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, and every other comedy megastar.<br><br> As for Sandler, he is very hit or miss. Personally, I don't think he has made a classic comedy since Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore. Waterboy was good, but overrated. Personally, I would see Love Guru over Don't Mess with the Zoltan, but I ain't running out to see either. Both will be rentals since there is no reason to watch a comedy in the theaters unless it is a must see type of thing.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    RE: "can't - addicted to the MAD MEN blu ray"

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Good on you, Harry! FANTASTIC SHOW. One of the best in awhile.<P>And no, I will not be seeing THE LOVE GURU. Sorry Mr. Myers.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Frat Boy

    by skimn

    Pay Roger "I Love Everything Nowadays" Ebert gives this 1 star. ONE STAR. This from the man who has given positive reviews to Zohan, Skull, The Happening, even 3 1/2 stars to tomorrows Get Smart. Either his meds ran low, or he really, really hates this movie.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    Glad my policy still stands

    by Circean6

    to NEVER see any media with Jessica Alba. Since adoptng this policy a few years ago I've been a happier man for it and so can you.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Harry's love of Indy 4...

    by Jack Shepherd

    ...makes him exactly like the four cackling women he describes at The Love Guru screening in my eyes. You're suspect, Mr. Knowles.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Harry you suck...

    by HitchCock'n'Balz

    "This isn't merely a bad film, but a painful experience that you keep telling yourself to leave. However, I have a very strong belief in witnessing the terror." - Shouldn't this be your review of Indian Fuckin Jones and not a Mike Myers Comedy...your opinion means nothing to me after the shit you have endorsed in your the site...for the sane reviewers...but you couldn't spot comedy gold if it was the nougat in your zagnut buddy.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    The problem is Myers waited all this time...

    by knowthyself make this shit? Like he's gods gift to comedy or something.He's clearly not. Austin Powers 3 made that very obvious.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    get over it mike.


    i'm telling you as a friend, get over your dad. I loved my mom. she was hilarious and my wit is inspired by her..but when she died when i was 19, i didn't run out into the streets for attention wearing funny teeth or wigs or beards and playing up the 'naughty boy' persona.<P>how old do you have to be to finally come to terms with the loss of a parent? it's time to find YOURSELF mike.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Yeah, it's true he was funny on SNL

    by g-ride9000

    and balanced well with the other types of actors in the cast.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    No Offense, but that was a Horrid Review, Harry

    by grungies

    You spent the whole time trying to convey how astronimically awful it is without ever explaining WHY it is that bad. If you're going to insult Mike Myers like you did (and hoping for the film public to know Myers is dead as a comedien is an insult) you need SOMETHING to back that up. In this particular case, you're worse than Rex Reed. And that's bad. Come on! You're better than this! (and I imagine Mike Myers is better than The Love Guru, and hopefully he won't make that mistake again, but I don't think he's "dead" as a comedian).

  • June 19, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    yeah mikes dad died.


    he makes sure to mention it in every interview or explanation of where a character came from. Mike is very much still simon in the tub trying to make sense of the world with cheeky silliness. but he's like 50. it's no longer cute. i'd very much like to see him tackle something half as mature as 'so i married'...instead of just wearing a costume and grinning all the time.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Comedians have a maximum 5-10yr life...

    by conspiracy

    Just the way it works...the best ones take their bows and walk away to swim in the bank vault; or move into other areas, such as dramatic acting. Look...even guys whom are acknowledged as exceptional comedians like Pryor and early Murphy sucked after a 10-15 year run...and I don't think anyone would ever put Sandler or Myers on that level..hell they aren't even real comedians, just guys who made up dopey characters at the right time and place to cash in on their tv popularity. Take your bows guys, get in your Brinks trucks..and move on.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    No offence Harry,

    by Conanreturns

    But how come every negative review is accompanied by a distinct lack of "pwesents"? I'm just saying...

  • June 19, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Harry, you know I love you...

    by Sardonicus

    ...but thinking about you and Ebert talking about erections made my manparts crawl back in.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Finally a movie that Harry hates

    by drewlicious

    And it's not made by Fox

  • June 19, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    "You can't talk a man into an erection"

    by Kankennon

    How often is Harry trying to talk guys into getting erections anyway? I find that more than a little disturbing.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST


    by bobjustbob

    You know that Shyamalan has jumped the shark when he gets only one official review on AICN.

  • June 19, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Let the flames begin...

    by stuatfunnyordie

    but I saw the Zohan the other night with a buddy of mine and laughed my ass off...he's Israeli, and loved the humor, and said Sandler's accent was pretty good...and I also loved Speed Racer...and Indy... Flame On!

  • June 19, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    So I guess this one didn't evoke any childhood memories?

    by Xubius

    Long time reader, first time talkbacker. Its nice to finally read a review from you Harry where you don't talk about your childhood, health, Yoko or any other bullshit that has no direct relevance to the film nor interest to the reader looking for a review of a film. My faith in you has been restored in this one.

  • June 19, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    I just hope

    by onephatnelly

    that this movie doesn't feature Mike Myers dancing about in his underwear like practically every other movie he's made. He may be a talented comedian (although if Harry's review is anything to go by, that may not be true any more) but he doesn't have a good body.

  • June 19, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Not to spit on him when he's recovering from thyroid cancer

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    But Ebert's reviews have been worthless for a very long time now. As a reviewer, his literary skills are excellent, but as a judge of good/bad cinema, he's got the credibility of George Bush at an Earth Day rally.<p>Keep in mind, this is the guy who gave a thumbs down to Die Hard, Man On Fire, Exiled, The Usual Suspects, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Full Metal Jacket, Gladiator, The Mist, Army of Darkness, Reservoir Dogs, Underworld, You Kill Me, The Untouchables, My Cousin Vinny, Empire of the Sun, Spider Man, O Brother Where Art Thou, Fletch, The Scout, Grindhouse, Brazil, Snatch, X-Men, Uncle Buck, Robocop 2, The Professional, The Jerk and The Thing just to name a few.<p>I can see people saying, "But the Coens suck, Len Wiseman sucks, Raimi sucks, Singer sucks and Ridley Scott hasn't made a good movie since Blade Runner." I can actually see people saying those things although I strongly disagree. And as a movie goer who doesn't get paid for their opinion, someone is entitled to hate Die Hard and The Untouchables. But as a paid movie critic? Ummmm, no. Especially when you give glowing reviews to Crystal Skull, The Happening, Cellular, Flightplan, Gosford Park, Sky Captain, The Brave One, Jersey Girl, Spawn, To Die For, Copycat, Signs, The Alamo, The English Patient, The Polar Express, The Weather Man and The Golden Compass.<p>Call me an arrogant fucknut, but on no plane of existence should Flightplan be a 3 and a half star (out of four) movie while The Untouchables is a lowly 2 and a half stars. And OK, that's your opinion, I'll deal with it. But your have ZERO credibility as a movie critic.<p>I still like Ebert, I don't wish him death, but I consult my sperm rag for it's opinions on movies before I see what Ebert has to say.

  • June 19, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST


    by Series7

    Dude have you not seen the trailer? There is at least one scene with him in a shower.

  • June 19, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Ebert gave Army of Darkness

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    2 and a half stars. That's a thumbs down. His website has a really nice search engine (Harry, you hear that?!) and you can see ratings for every movie he's ever reviewed. He gets a lot right, but boy howdy, he gets a lot wrong.

  • June 19, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    Series 7

    by onephatnelly

    Glad to say I've not seen the trailer. And if it features him dancing around in his underwear or even naked, I don't want to. What the fuck is it with him that he thinks he should keep inflicting the site of his bloated body on us?

  • June 19, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Harry likes Mad Men!!!!!!!!!!

    by PwnedByStallone

    Good man.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    i vomited when i saw the trailer

    by dioxholster

    then after i puked some more.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Sorry Danny

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Didn't mean to derail the train but people praising Ebert as a movie critic really pisses me off. His opinions are no more valid than Harry's which are no more valuable than those of a ficus. Harry's reviews are always very entertaining and I love reading them, but that's all they are, entertainment. Not something to help sway your opinion as to whether you should waste two hours of your precious time.<p>And like I said, Ebert is an excellent writer. His books (yup, I've read them) are great and no one can formulate a positive opinion about drek like The Happening like he can. I honestly hope he recovers 100% and lives a long life.<p>I won't condone the stinkers Mike Myers has made, but as a fellow Canadian and Maple Leafs fan, I can't bring myself to slander him, but I'll enjoy reading you do it. So flame on!

  • June 19, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    an hour+ i nthe gym every day?!

    by PwnedByStallone

    That's excessive for people who are in shape.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Could it possibly be worse than Zohan?

    by Cotton McKnight

    That movie was HORRIBLE. I mean just awful. Disgusting, putrid, retarded, you name it. I have never been a fan of Mike Meyers work so if you're telling me it's grotesque and unfunny, i'm sure its worse.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST

    ER got CANCELED!

    by dioxholster

    finally it can rest in peace away from a hospital.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    The Happening.. since there isn't a talkback on that

    by Cotton McKnight

    and Harry mentioned it, I thought I would throw my two cents in. <p>It was a bad film. I hate to say that because it is stirring in some places and it has beautiful cinematography, but it really is a mess. One of it's main problems is that it really doesn't know what it is. Is it a thriller? Is it a horror movie? Is it funny? I have no idea. It starts out with such great promise, but then, you just see the same thing over, and over, and over. <p>Roger Ebert arrogantly said that most people are not thoughtful enough to like it, but that's not true. I GET what he is saying- that it's a movie that kind of allows you to think about the "bigger picture". But even if you go with that, it STILL doesn't work because all of that quiet reflection is interrupted by some of the most ridiculous deaths you have ever seen in a big budget movie. At the end, its basically nothing more than a horror movie, and a very bad one at that. It even ends in a cliche way- you THINK the thing is gone but oh no, it's happening in Paris! What it reminded me most of was Final Destination- all it needed was a kid blowing up at the end, like in the second movie. <p>And don't get me started on the ham-fisted way it pushes politics down our throats. It's an offensive movie on a lot of different levels.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    what was wrong with the wanted score

    by oscarmike

    I heard Danny's samples and it was great, including that great song he sings

  • June 19, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    More Apologetics about The Happening from me...

    by Lobanhaki

    <br>;-)</br> <br>I know, somebody's going to accuse me of it, so I might as well make the joke first.</br> <br>Here's my sense of the reviews: there are too many people saying this is the worst movie ever, too many people piling on to one movie and saying the same damn thing in their reviews. Nearly always, the comments focus on WHAT THE FILM IS NOT.</br> <br>The film is not a Gore fest. But the deaths will make you squirm. They're very uncomfortable scenes, to say the least. The scene of the construction workers falling off the building is not terrible for its gore quotient. It's the harsh smacks, the fact that they don't hit nice clean airbag proxies, but smack against dumpsters and through debris on the ground. That infamous shot of the girl about to shove that hair pick through her throat has little or no blood, but the way she twists it around in her neck is cringe inducing.</br> <br>Shyamalan's approach to the characters was not to make them larger than life, not to make them charismatic heroes. His people are mild-mannered as a rule. You look at Bruce Willis's characters in his movies, at Mel Gibson's lead, at Joaquin Pheonix's character in Village. His people are never going to be the kind of folks with knives in their teeth, oiled muscles, and an Squad Automatic Weapon ready to blow apart the bad guy with.</br> <br>Folks further up the thread are right: it will make back its money. The movie was half the cost of the Hulk, and did well. But I think something else is true: when the hype dies down from this summer, I think more people will end up liking this movie in the long run.</br>

  • June 19, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    ER got CANCELED!

    by Powerring

    ER started a big nosedive when Anthony Edwards left. The show got away from it's more realistic seriousness, and became any other melodramatic prime time soap like the lame and defunct Chigaco hope. Every 2nd or 3rd show would have extended scenes of Abby smoking while the camera zoomed around her and gave close ups. The show didn't just becaome a prime time soap, it became a big tobacco commercial. The last 2 seasons (which I could not watch through) were abysmal, pedestrian and a far cry from what it set out to be. Good riddence.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Tell us how you really feel

    by indyjonez100

    Sounds like a big turd, just inching closer to Ass! the movie.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Zohan = Disgustint Crap...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...but even the crap called Zohan smelt better than THE LOVE GURU. <p>However, Harry, I would remove any comparison about the Shoah from your review. It is extremely distasteful to compare an evil act of genocide with a ridiculously stupid film.</p>

  • June 19, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Ron Howard?!

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Dude gave us Willow! All the other garbage aside, that should save him from the wood chipper.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Harry- did Apatow destroy Sandler & Myers?

    by Heckles

    I know Apatow had a hand in writing Zohan, but it seems the Apatow crew is miles above the once sure-fire comedic juggernauts like Adam Sandler and Mike Myers. Even Will Ferrel's last flick was marginal. Ben Stiller is falling flat, too. Maybe that Tropic Thunder will swing things back the other way. Hopefully Kevin Smith can throw his hat back in the ring with Zach & Miri.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Skip this movie

    by gavdiggity

    and re-watch So I Married An Axe Murderer instead. It's Myers back when he was still funny.

  • June 19, 2008, 1:47 p.m. CST

    Danny, I gotta credit Ron Howard with something then

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Apollo 13. Cinderella Man. Anything to keep him out of the chipper.<p>It's been 10+ years since I watched them so I remember nothing but were Ransom and Backdraft any good?

  • June 19, 2008, 1:50 p.m. CST

    The Happening

    by PwnedByStallone

    I liked it as well, as I've liked all of Shayamalan's films. If there is a weakness it's in the acting. Night can get good performances from actual actors, but look at what he was dealing with here. A one-hit wonder white rapper, an unproven and vapid young actress, a little girl who is not Abigail Breslin, and Toulouse-Latrec. Give Night a break. the movie was pretty good under the circumstances.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Ron Howard gave us two great things.

    by Gilkuliehe

    And for that he deserves eternal forgiveness: 1) Bryce Dallas. 2) Arrested Development. Okay, I know he's not the creator, nor the writer, but I'm pretty sure his involvement was one of the things that made it possible. He hasn't released a single movie I love (some of them are okay, I guess), but I'll let him live.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Now that this review is out of the way...

    by Jason B. Swaim

    How about a review for the comedy going against this? Get Smart?

  • June 19, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Myer has

    by bobjustbob

    jumped the gopher, swung past the monkey and into the atomic fridge. And he fell. 3 times.<p><p>And Shymalan eats hot dogs with his cheese and crackers. And he follows it up with a refreshing lemon drink.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    Harry has terrible taste.

    by fiester

    He's proven that over and over again.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    And Damn You Michael Bay!

    by bobjustbob

    Sorry. I had to complete the cycle.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    I saw Apollo 13 the other day.

    by bobjustbob

    It hasn't aged well IMO. This is sad because I really enjoyed when it was released.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Are you saying

    by bobjustbob

    That Harry is kind of like the Charlie Tuna of critics? His knowledge and passion about film is amazing. It's his taste that is questionable?<p>And that's just fine with me.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST


    by ArcadianDS

    Chevy Chase called.<p> he wants to know when his other 8 years of funny will arrive.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Ron Howard gave John Candy his best film role

    by skimn

    ..."Penthouse printed my letter...Penthouse printed my letter.." Also gave us Tom Hanks and Michael Keaton in their star making roles.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Harry's reviews are light and fluffy and satisfying

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Sort of like eating cotton candy while skydiving and getting a hand job on the way down.<p>They are not to be taken seriously though. Just pure entertainment to see how much sexual innuendo he can cram into every sentence.

  • June 19, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    WHY HARRY WHY?!?!?

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    In all your rage could you take just a moment to explain why it's shit? I have no doubt it's crap, but at least give us the respect to explain yourself a little better. That was a lazy review Harry.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    I heard about that

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    And it doesn't change the way I view him or any of the other bozos. It reinforces my belief that we'll never have change in Washington so long as it's all about the money.<p>I can't even read HuffPo anymore because all the news on there is depressing.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    Nuked the Fridge...

    by ScottinDC

    it's the new 'jumped the shark'. Maybe we should also start using the saying 'swung with monkeys' - it can be code for when inexplicably overrated actors shit the bed in a big summer movie then pocket their 15 mil while we're cheated out of our 10 bucks (plus snacks). Wow - I really am bitter about the new Indy movie. On topic - the trailer for Guru looks like ass...Mike Meyers has really sunk to a new low (if that's possible).

  • June 19, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    did Mike Myers snub Harry at a party?

    by Rupee88

    yeah the movie looks horrible, but just unusual to see you not pull any punches..doesn't this dark cloud have any sort of silver lining? Well this movie will still probably make money.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:13 p.m. CST

    MAD MEN kicks ass!!!!

    by nopix

  • June 19, 2008, 3:15 p.m. CST


    by Bobo_Vision

    "with no Hillary as V.P. and no public funding, you just lost my vote buddy" <p> What you mean he just lost your vote? You were already saying after he beat out Hillary as the Dem nominee that you would vote for Mccain.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Dannyglover's Dickblood, you must have a very small penis

    by Bobo_Vision

    How do I know? First, you chose to put your screenname entirely in caps. A common technique by small-dicked guys to compensate and feel big. This is why most people who use screennames in all caps are 12 year old kids who haven't gone through puberty. <p> Second, you are obsessed with black men and their penises, and this causes you a lot of grief and anger because of all your penis envy. So much so, that you need to imagine some type of trauma or damage happening to a famous black man's penis, Danny Glover, in order to cause blood to come out of it to feel better. And this is what you've chosen as your identity. A small-dicked white dude who needs to imagine blood coming out of Danny Glover's penis to feel good about himself. <p> Come November, you should probably change your name to BARACKOBAMA'S_DICKBLOOD to ease your rampant insecurities.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:27 p.m. CST

    Mike myers dad had alzheimers...

    by emeraldboy

    He went through a lot of stress when filiming I married an axe murderer. I heard that he gave the cast and crew a terrible time and that he bullied the writer and director. and got so demanding that he was very difficult to work with, later it emerged that there was some emergency and when he got home his father, was in a bath full of boiling water. He was under huge stress. But he has an EGO. What else could explain twat in the hat.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:28 p.m. CST

    So, Harry, thumbs up or thumbs down?

    by SkidMarkedUndies

    I couldn't tell from the review. It was very vague.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Harry has still never explianed that fall out he

    by emeraldboy

    had with brett ratner and that thrashing he gave x-men 3 is all very mysterious. still.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Harry's back! Thats why I come to this site.

    by GQtaste

    For no bullshit express. He's tell'em like he sees them. And of course Mory liked it and ironically he happen to get an interview w/ one-note Myers.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    or how he got to see phantom Menace before anyone

    by emeraldboy

    else! I saw rollerball remake. and 2 mins was enougn. What a piece of junk.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:35 p.m. CST

    The Da Vinci Code was awful

    by sambrook

    But Ron Howard's involvement in Arrestd development - both as producer and narrator - gives him a pass for everything bad he's ever directed. If he manages to get the movie up and running then he can make Da Vinci Code sequels for the rest of his life and I'd forgive him.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Citing the Holocaust as a comparison to bad filmmaking...

    by RetroActive

    is pretty tasteless. Even for AICN.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:40 p.m. CST

    Fan-fucking-tastic review, Harry!

    by Cruel_Kingdom

    This is my favorite of your reviews in a long, long time. Still think it's crap that you guys all gave Indy a pass, but at least you call this atrocity out for what it is. The line in the title of this article is classic, too: "if shit got The Love Guru on it, shit would wipe it off." Fucking classic, my friend. Keep up the good work.

  • June 19, 2008, 3:44 p.m. CST

    You guys are over-analyzing Harry's reviews

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    They make no sense. Period.<p>How can someone say they had a blast watching Rise of the Silver Surfer and then call X3 a bad movie? Think about that long enough and you're guaranteed an aneurysm.<p>I love Will Farrel but Semi-Pro was garbage. Not a single laugh delivered. Harry's take? It was awesome! And I can't imagine The Love Guru being much worse and yet he rakes it over the coals.<p>I haven't seen this much inconsistency since I witnessed the Log Cabin Republicans protesting a gay pride parade.<p>Just take his reviews for what they are: an obscenity-filled ride that deliver the comedy goods.

  • June 19, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    Gotham is Chicago

    by ENAN

    not New York.

  • June 19, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    They were equally bad to me, Danny

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Picking one over the other is like asking "Would you rather get kicked in the right testicle or the left one?"

  • June 19, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST

    so what, it sucks, who cares?

    by WolfmanNards

    Shitty comedies come out all the time. Bruce Almighty made tons of cash, and idiots laughed at it while I kept looking at my watch. Everybody settle down. This isn't the last shitty comedy.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST


    by toadkillerdog

    In England they have shin kicking contests were the kick the shit out of one anothers shin's. So, it leads me to belive that somewhere, they must have a testicle kicking contest -I assume it is in the Scottish highlands, or the Ozarks. So, a wealth of information, from professional testicle kickers, is probably available on which teste is better to be kicked in. <p> Anyone who has ever held their two-year old son on their lap while watching a football game, while saod toddler is wearing his new pair of baby jordans, or worse, corrective shoes, can testify to the fact that the left nut is far more sensitive than the right nut to a swinging foot.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST


    by Flim Springfield

  • June 19, 2008, 4:12 p.m. CST

    I loved WW, Austin 1 and 2...

    by BizarroJerry

    It's a shame to see where Myers went after those movies. I still think the man himself is funny, but his idea of comedy has gotten stupider and stupider. Too bad.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:13 p.m. CST

    I saw it as well

    by JimCurry

    and it really is a piece of shit.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:46 p.m. CST

    Willow: The Extended Version

    by Kankennon

    We need to see the scenes in Willow where we actually find out that they all lived in the backwoods redneck section of Alderaan and the movie ends just minutes before the planet gets blown to smithereens by the Death Star.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:55 p.m. CST

    Do not diss Mark Wahlberg.

    by Cotton McKnight

    I'm sorry but the guy is a good actor. He saved Planet of the Apes so it's kind of watchable and he is in one of my favorite movies this decade, Sniper. He was good (and so was Zooey Deschanel) in spite of the directing and script. They all were, really. And don't be hating on Master of Disguise. With the exception of that horrible feces scene, I really liked it. I wish Dana Carvey would stop being a hermit and make a movie once in awhile.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Meyers lost it after Austin Powers 1

    by Prossor

    AP1 was a clever parody of the James Bond series, the next two sequels were pathetic slapstick routines. nothing surprising with this latest fridge nuking.

  • June 19, 2008, 4:57 p.m. CST

    I am trying to find evidence that ER is cancelled..

    by Cotton McKnight

    and I found an article mentioning the ER video game, released in 2005. Has anyone played that? I can't imagine that being anything more than horrible.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Myers' downfall isn't the same as every comedian...

    by DanielKurland

    Because he writes a lot of his stuff, so we know HE'S not funny. Steve Martin's movies now are absolute trash in comparison to his early stuff, but he's not writing them. He's just taking jobs to get money, or please his family, etc.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Evidence is cancelled

    by Powerring "On April 2, 2008, NBC announced that the series will return for its 15th and final season, which will run for 19 episodes before the show retires at the end of the February 2009 sweeps."

  • June 19, 2008, 5:36 p.m. CST

    View this film as a pack of coughing, swamp lepers . . .

    by lavaboat

    and run the other way. Sincerely, like pronto. Bad ankle? I don't care, move your ass, limp with purpose. Don't get any on you.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST


    by grungies

    You're a hateful person, aren't you? You actually wished death upon Shia LaBeouf and Mike Myers. That's just uncalled for.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Damn, mark the day...

    by br1947

    Harry rarely sees a movie he doesn't like, and even then the review is "eh, it could have been better". Harry & Massawyrm's reviews read about the same... hell must be pretty damned chilly about now...

  • June 19, 2008, 5:46 p.m. CST


    by Sammy Jankis

    It was actually a big, GREEN, plastic plant in the corner that killed comedy. I think his name was Shrek.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST

    Far be it from me to accuse anyone but...

    by somethingcool

    this review is a poseur.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:51 p.m. CST


    by somethingcool

    that doesn't make any sense. Never mind.

  • June 19, 2008, 5:55 p.m. CST


    by skimn

    You have given me a great comeback line.."If you were to fall into a pile of shit, the shit would spit you out."

  • June 19, 2008, 5:56 p.m. CST

    yea, gotta agree w/DGDB on this one

    by br1947

    After Transformers & Indy 4, Shia getting the Captain Pike treatment might be a good thing for the future of film making

  • June 19, 2008, 6 p.m. CST


    by smackfu

    I'd like you to consider the possibility that the audience you were with may have made the film seem worse than it was. In my experience, the audience makes the movie. If the theatre is full of humorless douchebags that atmosphere sours your own perception of the content. It's like watching a David Lynch film with someone with no appreciation for it. You begin to see every scene through their filter and not only do they not enjoy the film, but you enjoy it less for having experienced it with them. I first saw Team America with a great, rowdy audience that howled all the way through it, and it was an amazing comedy experience. I took another friend to go see it a few days later and the audience just didn't get it, no one was laughing, and my friend was like 'I thought you said this was funny?' and I kind of agreed, I was going 'yeah, it seemed a lot funnier the first time' Saw it again a week later with a good audience and it was awesome again.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:34 p.m. CST

    re-re-re-doing vern troyer jokes

    by seabiscuits

    plus re-re-re doing sexual inuendos is all myers does. so i maried axe murderer was great, the two waynes worlds were great but thats cause of dana carvey, shrek sucks and austin powers peaked at part 2. too bad myers turned into repetative crap cause he had his own style of humor and could of been good in some alternate universe where he stretches his creativnes instead of repeditavinous. erg.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:40 p.m. CST

    steve martin was mentioned earlier

    by seabiscuits

    may i bring up he wrote bowfinger, i know its a few years old now but he wrote it and I think it's super funny, but besides that he also wrote shopgirl which wasn't that long ago and was classy and super funny so please give him a break. i'm no pink panther purist but it actually suprised me with not being like the commercial at all and being kinda enjoyable.

  • June 19, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST

    The singular if "testes" is....

    by DarthDooku

    "testis." not teste. just FYI Harry. Surprised to see such a negative reaction. Sad for Myers, he was so good back in the day....

  • June 19, 2008, 6:56 p.m. CST

    The singular of "testes" is....

    by DarthDooku

    "testis." not teste. just FYI Harry. Surprised to see such a negative reaction. Sad for Myers, he was so good back in the day....

  • June 19, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Alba in another shit film? Shocker.

    by Lance4431

    I really, really want to see Jessica Alba naked. I NEED to see that. I'm worried its never gonna happen.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    In Defense of Ron

    by Lance4431

    Ron Howard is often a hack but he did have a hand in Arrested others have said, he gets a life pass for that. I also loved early Andy Griffith and American Graffiti...also thought Night Shift was funny and Cinderella Man was a fun, earnest Hollywood flick. The day Michael Bay's name is slapped on ANYTHING good, then I'll consider giving him a pass (although his crap is far worse and much more mean-spirited than Howard's fluff).

  • June 19, 2008, 7:29 p.m. CST

    I'm interested in how this will do...

    by andrew coleman

    And Get Smart. It just seems right now there are a lot of comedies out. With the Hulk being the only action flick that hasn't been out for over a month. I wish Myers could do better. But Harry is it true there is a scene in this movie that straight rips off the Rush Hour movies and it's not a joke just a plain rip off?

  • June 19, 2008, 7:30 p.m. CST

    I have NEVER seen Harry

    by kungfuhustler84

    post that much on the talkbacks. Ever. Wtf?

  • June 19, 2008, 7:34 p.m. CST

    It's Above You, Harry

    by LostInLucas

    For all I'm hearing about this movie, I don't buy for a second that it's Myers' jokes that don't work. I do buy the fact that the comedy is about transcendentalism, and if you're into that kind of thing, you'll get it. If you like Deepak Chopra, you'll get it. Some people aren't getting it. Harry, you just don't get it, that's all. This will do well in the Gold Coasts and Manhattan. Maybe not so well in Skid Row.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:35 p.m. CST

    Just saw Indy 4.

    by thebearovingian

    It sucked. Pretty bad.<p>Love Guru must be horrendous.

  • June 19, 2008, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Lance4431, the day is coming

    by br1947

    unfortunately, that damned kid has wrecked it all. Jessica Alba is the next Britney Spears. Damn that's a shame...

  • June 19, 2008, 8:05 p.m. CST

    DanielKurland RE:Steven Martin

    by Prossor

    it's pretty sad he doesnt write anymore, hte last great thing he was in was bowfinger and he wrote that shit!

  • June 19, 2008, 8:08 p.m. CST

    2nd talkback now

    by slkboxrman

    just saw harry rip the happening in another talkback and now this....saying he seen them on the same day makes sense tho......was harry just having a really bad day ? or wtf ? ... 2 rousingly negative reviews in one day......shocking !!!

  • June 19, 2008, 8:10 p.m. CST

    Best Movie Review Ever!!

    by Babylon Shadow

    Best Movie Review Ever!!

  • June 19, 2008, 8:20 p.m. CST

    Yea slkboxman, cranky Harry is kinda fun!

    by br1947

    Maybe a new lease on life post surgery? Started caring about good movies again? I dunno, but I like! But still defending Indy 4... well I guess somethings just don't change...

  • June 19, 2008, 8:23 p.m. CST

    True Story

    by mrfan

    I took a crap yesterday. After I finished I was about to flush when I heard a voice. I looked around and then looked into the toilet. Lo and behold one of my many turds was talking to me. He asked me if there was any chance that I could take him to the Love Guru. After a few moments to collect myself (how many times in ones life does a turd talk to you) I declined. I told him that he was above seeing something like that. With that I flushed the toilet. I don't regret it. That turd deserves better.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:12 p.m. CST

    Harry, that was the funniest headline I've read at AICN

    by Han Cholo

    It's also funny because it's true. Myer's days of fishing for jokes is over. His stupid accents and brand of "comedy" got old when I paid to see Austin Powers 2. Fuck even Wayne's World was only funny when they did skits on SNL. I hope we've seen the last of Mike Myers, especially after reading about what an asshole he was on set of this abortion of a movie. You needed a fucking armband to look him in the eye? What a shithead.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:27 p.m. CST

    At least the Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

    by Munkstomper

    The only reason I'm seeing this shitfest.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:50 p.m. CST

    Harry please put up analysis of Wanted film

    by BDuncan

    Harry can you and Mori please put up your separate analysis of the Wanted film, as it looks like it kicks ass as a film.

  • June 19, 2008, 9:53 p.m. CST

    Congrats on the Successful Surgery

    by Spymunk

    Just wanted to tell you "Congrats" on the successful surgery. As for this movie, I think we all knew what we were in for the moment we saw him scratching his head like a dog with a Hanna-Barbera "CHOIK!" sound effect when he bit at himself. Wow.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:15 p.m. CST

    Mike Myers--the New Eddie Murphy

    by Ingeld

    Meet Dave? I don't think so.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:21 p.m. CST


    by Brian

    Undercover Brother was amazing. Hush.

  • June 19, 2008, 10:38 p.m. CST

    Eduardo Murphy and Mikey Myers

    by Lance4431

    Meyers and Murphy are both out-of-touch, Jacko-esque pricks.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:02 p.m. CST

    Harry I want to buy you a flat beer

    by kafka07

    for sitting through that shitty film. That took balls.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    This was the worst review I have!

    by Beeslo

    My god, Harry. I'm proud that you actually found a movie you hate. But goddamn, do you not know how to write a review? Where were your examples? Why did you hate it? I never once read one statement to WHY it was so bad. Never once. I mean, this is what a review is supposed to be like. You tell us what the movie's like. Say whether you liked it or not and then tell us why. Not tell us the movie is crap and then take 5 paragraphs describing your hatred for the movie. Yeah, we get it. It sucks royally. Its not that I didn't enjoy your 5 paragraph daitribe, but I was actually expecting...oh, I don't know...a review once you were done spewing your hate for your movie going experience. So let me sum it up in this fashion so that you make understand how much I hated this review: The Love Guru is to Great Comedy like a review by Harry Knowles is to a review by the New Yorker.

  • June 19, 2008, 11:40 p.m. CST

    This isn't even a review.

    by LoneGun

  • June 19, 2008, 11:41 p.m. CST

    This isn't even a review.

    by LoneGun

    It's just a hate rant and not a very interesting one. But I guess it gets the opinion across pretty clearly. (Sorry for the double post.)

  • June 20, 2008, 12:15 a.m. CST

    This review and the Myers interview are off the main page.

    by Flim Springfield

  • June 20, 2008, 12:34 a.m. CST

    Why does everyone bag on Timberlake?

    by RowdyRoddyStriper

    I think the guy is a pretty good actor. Did anyone see Alpha Dog? He was great in it. I think some of you are jealous he bangs Jessica Biel.

  • June 20, 2008, 12:36 a.m. CST

    I Heard that Filipino Entry at Cannes Was Worse :

    by PTSDPete

    Insurmountably. The one they submitted for Palm D' Or against the likes of Clint Eastwood, which critics clobbered more than anything else. Thank Christ. It's that ' Serbis '. Both these films seem to tread the same material.... Exactly shows you that dependence on self-hating, sexual crap does NOT a comedy make, much less an ACTUAL MOVIE. " What is it you CUNT face ?" is NOT a good comeback.

  • June 20, 2008, 1:52 a.m. CST


    by MonsterManiac

    It's fricken' freezin' in here!

  • June 20, 2008, 1:53 a.m. CST


    by droidonthemoon

    why is this even in discussion? couldn't we all tell from the trailer that it was terrible? Unless of course, its a horror movie and Mike Myers is having a great laugh somewhere wearing a Mike Myers (Halloween) mask.

  • June 20, 2008, 2:54 a.m. CST

    Dana Carvey was always superior...

    by Prossor

    on SNL his was the better characters than Myers smugness. yes the modern german skit was good, but Carvey's skit was #1 on E's top whatever greatest SNL moments! too bad his career went down the shitter with that impersonation movie lately, still though wasn't as a titanic/hindenburg in proportion to myers continuous shit sprays.

  • June 20, 2008, 3:14 a.m. CST

    Doc Hudson: Dana Carvey - Oh no he DIDN'T

    by half vader

    know when to leave! He gave us master of disguise - and I'm having a hard time Love Guru is actually worse than that (3rd trimester) abortion! <p> Beeslo - actually this review tells us more than Harry's worst review ever - go look at the Incredible Hulk "review" and tell me if you found a shred there. I sure couldn't!

  • June 20, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Mike Myers

    by MrDuke118

    Is the movie equivalent (if I can spell properly) of a man having intense diahorrea (again maybe not the correct spelling) whilst having to recite the alphabet backwards to the pope. In short, he sucks

  • June 20, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Between Shrek, one, two and three

    by emeraldboy

    Myers, took home 60 million dollars as did the rest of the cast. that was 20 million each. plus bonuses. that was well over 100 million.

  • June 20, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Myers has made 5 of the biggest

    by emeraldboy

    grossing modern comedy films of all time. maybe he should stop. he has enough money to retire.

  • June 20, 2008, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Those women who actually laughed...

    by Harry Weinstein

    ...Hillary Clinton supporters. I guarantee it.

  • June 20, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Dude you guys need

    by Series7

    To seriously stop picking on Mike. I mean his dad died just recently like 17 years ago. And the Love Guru is just his way to show his dad that he hasn't learned anything new since he died. <P> Yeah I know I posted this on another thread. So what you wanna fight about it?

  • June 20, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    I know something about Mike Myers that you all

    by emeraldboy

    dont. To the vast majority of talkbackers in the us, myers tv career began on Saturday night Live. while that is true. or partially true. His career on tv actually started in the UK. On something called the wide awake club. and Dana carvey was not his first partner on Tv. that man's name was Neill Mullarkey. that was in 1984. Myers and Mullarkeys slot was on really early, so they called it the sound asleep. Myers never made much of impact on UK tv. and nobody really knew how big he was going get and that he would end up making 5 of the biggest grossing films of all time. twenty years later. Those who grew up watching uk tv in the late 1980s remember him. Myers dad was born in liverpool and that was how Mike Myers ended up in the UK. He doesnt talk about it because I guess that was a period of failure in his life. I think had a brief stint as a stand up while he was living and working in the UK. When the UK didnt work out he took all the experiences back with him to the US. Lorne Micheals was impressed enough to hire him for SNL.

  • June 20, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    It was called

    by emeraldboy

    The sound asleep club! that show myers worked on in the 1980s in the UK.

  • June 20, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    About myers....

    by emeraldboy

    Maybe there is something else going on.

  • June 20, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    About myers....

    by emeraldboy

    Maybe there is something else going on. that we dont know about

  • June 20, 2008, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Love Guru sucks? Didn't see that coming from the trailers

    by finky089


  • June 20, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    Signs Mike Myers has lost it:

    by finky089

    - He resurrects "Wayne & Garth" on the 2008 MTV awards <p> - He signs on for Shrek 4 AND 5 because, well, it's a payday and he doesn't have to do anything original <p> - He decides to approach Universal about making Cat In The Hat Comes Back <P> - Austen Powers:Goldmember <p> - He shaves his head in a Tarzana beauty salon just to make the cover of People magazine <p> - He lobbies for an American run of the play Equus just so he can expose his cock n' balls without having to create a new euphemism. <p> - He petitons Michael Bay to let him cameo as the Ice Cream Truck in Transformers long has his robot has talk in a Scottish accent. <p> And the last way you can tell Mike Meyer's has lost it: When he finally writes a new original movie again it's called "So the Axe Murderer Found My Career"

  • June 20, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    What I am about to tell you all is true and

    by emeraldboy

    not one word of this is made up. Back in the 1990's a small film was being in made in Dublin and the producers announced that they had bagged a big star to play a lead role in this movie. The movie is called Peter's meteor. and it starred Mike Myers Brenda fricker and Alfred Molina, john Kavanagh and dervala Kirwin. Myers played a drug addict. it was made 10 years ago. and the story is as follows. Micky is a tough, loudmouth but lovable 12 year old who lives with his younger brother and sister at his Grandmother's (Brenda Fricker) house. One day, a meteorite lands in his backyard and the kids believe that it was sent down to them by their dead parents (who they believe live up in the stars). The government ships away the rock and sends it to the local university. In the children's efforts to retrieve the meteor they believe is theirs, they meet a dorky scientist who finds a place in his heart for the kids (Alfred Molina). Meanwhile, Micky's parent's best friend (Mike Myers), a drug addict (who had promised the parents to take care of the kids) owes drug dealers money and eventually has to hide out after barely escaping a hit. The film was never released. Myers might be embarressed by it. I think this where the rot started.

  • June 20, 2008, 4:47 p.m. CST

    god I hope that cat in the hat 2 rumour

    by emeraldboy

    isnt true. 5 of mins of the original was all i could stand. If they copy horton that could work. Myers in cat suit. yuck. He gets 100 million over 5 films. plus Bos office take. that will make him a billionaire. maybe he wants to set up a studio or something.

  • June 20, 2008, 4:51 p.m. CST

    Where did you see it? India?

    by Jawsphobia

    Speaking of alleged attempts at jokes, how about your holocaust and abortion references? The guy who played Jay in 40 Year Old Virgin? Very funny as the black hockey star whose girlfriend now dates a well-endowed goalie. Justin Timberlake? Surprisingly fun as a french Canadian proud of his dong. Actually he would be a shock if it wasn't for his SNL Dick 'n a Box video. Meyers and Vern Troyer are in their usual form. What iritates me is that the humor is called "immature." Well, truth be told there are dick and fart jokes in the Powers movies as well. I just saw it. There isn't much difference between the tone of that film and Austin Powers. Unless you are Hindu, gay, or hate the Leafs, I can't imagine a Powers fan comparing that movie with shit. Unless I have read his review of The Happening and understand the reverese logic.

  • June 20, 2008, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Steryotypes arent funny unless..

    by emeraldboy

    they are performed by someone who grew up within a specific tradition or background or is different in some way. We live in an overly PC world. You cannot say anything lest one offends something or someone. Borat is a good example. baron cohen created one of the most successfull films of the past couple of years. Kazakhstan went mad. but there is no such thing as bad PR. All of the law suits have been struck out. Borat made of 300 million world wide and turned Baron Cohen into a huge international star. Borat is finished. and there will be no sequel. Cohen is a very clever man. That was as a superior a piece of acting as you can get. It all depends on the talent of the performer. Myers has been doing the same stick for quite a while. he should move on. do more serious stuff. But would we watch him if he did?

  • June 20, 2008, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Can It Really Be This Bad

    by cattlemaster

    I have not yet seen Mr. Myers new tour de force movie experience, but I do wonder, can The Love Guru really be as bad as people are saying? Can a man really fall so far so fast? The reaction this movie's getting has really got me thinking about a lot of things... Can it really be that bad? I mean, Jessica Alba's still hot, right?

  • June 20, 2008, 6:24 p.m. CST


    by finky089

    i agree, but don't forget that though Baron Cohen is doing just one Borat movie (for now), he IS doing a movie around another of his characters -Bruno, a gay European fashion designer. This after already havign a TV show based around yet another character of his, Ali G. Ironically, Baron Cohen's doing something pretty similar to Myers from the early 90's when he rode the Wayne's World schtick into Austen Powers for 3 movies, and now we get yet another Myers character, the Love Guru. <p> But to your point, I give Cohen credit for milking his characters, then "retiring" them, unlike Myers.

  • June 20, 2008, 6:28 p.m. CST

    Cattlemaster, the "fall" wasn't that fast

    by finky089

    Myers' has been falling since Goldmember (nowhere near as good as Spy Who Shagged Me). Yes, Shrek was a success, but Myers only voiced it, he didn't write it. <p> And yes, Alba is still hot. A MILF now, I guess...

  • June 20, 2008, 6:43 p.m. CST

    Fish That Saved Pittsburg

    by shran

    Same flick. It's my mission to tell you all.

  • June 20, 2008, 8:04 p.m. CST

    Well now that I've seen it

    by CherryValance

    I can admit to laughing throughout the film and really enjoying it. I didn't think it was all fart jokes. Not that there wasn't a little toilet humor but nowhere near as much as the Austin Powers movies. I mean it was a typical Myers film. If you don't like him, then you probably won't like it. But otherwise it was fine.

  • June 20, 2008, 10:07 p.m. CST

    NO CherryValance! NO NO NO!

    by 2sdaychicken


  • June 21, 2008, 3:07 a.m. CST

    Though I havent seen it in a while....

    by emeraldboy

    Zoolander is Ben Stillers best film along with meet the parents and Dodgeball. The critics carved up Zoolander. I saw it a first time, i agreed with the critics and didnt it funny at all. But i went back to it. The movie is hilarious. the way it carves up the world of male modelling is inspired. That was will ferrell's, first and last great role. it contains one of the greatest lines in modern comedy Stillers finest inside mugatus HQ. What is this a museum for ants, how can they read when they can even fit inside the building. and that scene with stiller and wilson and the computer near the end of the movie is so funny i nearly. so making fun of something can be done. But like a lot of people, I have had my fill of stiller. I will avoid tropic thunder. I know i am in a minority but I laughed at very hard at starksy and hutch, a movie a lot of people hate.

  • June 21, 2008, 3:12 a.m. CST

    and meet the fockers was..

    by emeraldboy


  • June 23, 2008, 4:02 p.m. CST

    It IS that bad

    by Cpt. Arnoldo

    Walked out after 20 minutes. The only person laughing was the 60 year old woman in front of me, and the rest of the theatres laughter was due to her idiocy. Fuck, this movie is BAD.

  • June 23, 2008, 4:11 p.m. CST

    The only redeeming scenes of this movie

    by skimn

    were Jim Gaffigan and Stephen Colbert as the sportscasters, and the animated team logos offing each other. The rest was dismal.<p>BUT, still not as bad as Strange Wilderness. I saw that recently and wondered how the images stuck to film, it was so bad. Haven't, and will never watch Meet The Spartans or Superhero Movie, so I can't say 100% what is the years worst attempt at comedy.

  • June 24, 2008, 12:41 a.m. CST

    bad review

    by thewhat

    What a poorly written review. Apparently its bad, i just don't know why.

  • June 24, 2008, 10:54 p.m. CST

    It is a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette and drinking a Coors

    by Napolean Solo

    That was one of your funniest lines! <br> <br> Oh, How was London?

  • June 25, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    Laurel and Hardy, mack Sennett, chaplin, Keaton lloyld

    by emeraldboy

    and langdon must be turning in their graves at thought that what they created all those years ago has now been thoroughly defiled and destroyed. Look, I liked American pie. I laughed at american pie and parts of american pie two. But comedy has to be rescued by someone. All that remains for comedy to be killed off completely is for Jud appatow and the people behind Scary movies and sandler, schneider to all team up to form a company which produces comedy films. These movies will star sandler, ben stiller, jack black etc. They wont be remotely funny. They will however make obscene amounts of money. and make them for people who have never heard of Chaplin, Keaton, langdon and lloyd and I forgot the marx bros. These people and their films should be taught in film school. They are the kings of comedy and I do realise that comedy is subjective and whatever. Everyones tastes are different. But Comedies are going the same way as rom coms. It has been a long time since there was either a really great rom com. or a really great comedy. That was american pie. over 10 years ago.

  • June 28, 2008, 8:02 p.m. CST

    Good--so you people finally see who this Myers character is..

    by Aethyrr

    ..and the kind of sh*t he produces. He still have a 20 year career, so..

  • June 30, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST


    by Darth Macchio

    Is the only think Shrek can do to garner more that shirt-pisser attention. That's right I said it. Babies pissin all over people! It's out of control man! Squeeze one and watch em piss across the ocean! High arc in this low gravity!!<p>But seriously, Myers has sucked for a looonnngg time. Trudat on that statement about making a man laugh...a friend lent me the Austin Powers DvDs and I couldn't even finish the second one much less start the 3rd. Is there really a big market for "Guy drinks concoction of piss/vommit/jizz/diahrea still? You guys were freaking out over how funny American Pie was and outside of Stiffler I still don't get it...this is the same humor only no Stiffler. The first one had some cleverness to it and mostly cause of Dr. Evil. But nothing Myers can or will do could possible top the potential of Sprokets. It was in DevHell not too long ago and since has gone ballyhoo and would still least it's better than Shrek 4 right? I can do a pitch perfect Scottish accent and people just want to throw shit at me now. Thanks to fucking Mike Myers. Dick.

  • July 7, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST


    by erikzod

    It's not like we didn't know this was coming. Goldmember was an absolute turd of a movie with one pathetic gross out gag after another. I don't think he has had a truly funny movie since The Spy Who Shagged Me. Half of that was due to Mini-Me.

  • July 12, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    I saw the trailer for this and at the end of

    by emeraldboy

    it I was saying dear god make it stop.

  • July 12, 2008, 3:21 p.m. CST

    and One the creepieet things i have ever

    by emeraldboy

    seen is head of mike myers on the body of young boy. oh and way to toss your career away. Ben kingsley. what the hell were you thinking.

  • July 14, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Mike myers is an odd fish...

    by emeraldboy

    He doest this rubbish so that he doesnt have to act in proper movies. What is the word on the street regarding meet dave. anyone know if murphys careers is dead also.

  • July 17, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    if shit got harry on it, shit would wipe it off

    by harryissofat

  • July 27, 2008, 11:13 p.m. CST

    So it wasn't as funny as ACCORDING TO JIM?

    by Uncle Stan