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Capone loooooovvveeessss M. Night's THE HAPPENING!

Hey folks. Capone in Chicago here with a stern warning for every one of you. If you buy a ticket to this film, the ass kicking you receive both during and after the movie will be your own damn fault and will probably be self-delivered. "Is this movie actually being released?" Those were my first words when the lights came up after seeing M. Night Shyamalan's latest, THE HAPPENING. And the question was in no way rhetorical. I truly could not conceive of a world where anyone would allow a film this poorly made to be released. I know that Shyamalan is everybody's favorite punching bag of late; the writer-director had the misfortune of having his first three films (THE SIXTH SENSE; UNBREAKABLE; SIGNS) be very popular and varying degrees of great. How dare he. And while I'm far from a Shyamalan apologist (I liked THE VILLAGE; I tried and failed to appreciate LADY IN THE WATER), I think the man has talent. That being said, the man who made THE HAPPENING is a stranger to me. There's no way this can be the same guy who skillfully creeped me out time and time again with his work. I am truly and without exaggeration baffled by THE HAPPENING in ways that I'll attempt to explain, but I may simply fall forward from exhaustion trying. The only thing I'd really heard about the flaws in THE HAPPENING before I saw it was that Mark Wahlberg's performance was bad on a legendary scale. And while I question his high-pitched line delivery in a few spots in this movie, Wahlberg fans can rejoice in knowing that it isn't their hero who kills this movie. Nearly every performance is terrible, and I'm a bit shocked that even the always-reliable Zooey Deschanel is acting like she's been struck by a car before the cameras began to roll. One guy I always look forward to seeing, John Leguizamo, has clearly been slipped some sort of tranquilizer. There isn't a single decent performance in the entire film, except may be that of Betty Buckley as an old woman living in home cut off from the rest of the world. Her acting is so off-the-charts gothic that I had to stifle my giggles the entire time she's on the screen. Mark and Zooey play couple Elliot and Alma Moore, who are going through a rough patch in their still-new marriage. Elliot is a high school science teacher, which comes in handy when he tries to figure out why everyone in the northeastern corner of America is killing themselves, especially those in highly populated areas like New York, Boston and Philadelphia. The opening sequences of random citizens suddenly freezing in their tracks and then finding the quickest way to kill themselves are a bit startling at first, but quickly degenerate into silly. The guy who feeds his own arms to zoo lions was my personal favorite. Leguizamo's daughter Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez) has been left with the Moores while John goes to look for his missing wife, and they attempt to stay away from the places where these mass suicides are occurring. At first, the media blames the happening on a terrorist attack, but it becomes clear that the problem is spreading too quickly and covering too much ground to be anything other than a natural phenomenon. The thing that struck me first about the screenplay was how much of it is dedicated to conversations and exposition that do nothing to further the plot or develop the characters. Why is it important that we know about Elliot's marriage troubles? Why do we care whether Leguizamo finds his wife? Why does everyone seem to latch onto one theory about what is killing people without question or other options? Why is Wahlberg talking to a plastic tree? Who is supposed to give a flying fig about a mood ring? The world could potentially be ending, and these idiots just want to fight about how and when they fight. Answer me this, does a film in which the heroes spend the entire film running away from wind sound thrilling? You have no idea. THE HAPPENING falls apart little by little over the course of its running time, and the fact that the film is being promoted heavily as being Shyamalan's first R-rated movie means absolutely nothing. The rating should be altered to fit the film's profile a little better. Anyone bringing their underage child to this movie should be arrested and charged with 100 different types of child endangerment. Youngsters shouldn't be punished for watching the film; they don't know any better. It's the adults who need a good slap for seeing this dreadful experiment gone wrong. Around the world, critics will be preparing their "Worst of 2008" lists a little early this year. This is the film by which other bad movies will set their standard by. In the not-too-distant future, this is a film that college students will rent, get drunk watching and spend the film's blessedly short 90 minutes mocking it without mercy. I was never bored watching THE HAPPENING. I was absolutely locked onto what was going on in this film--ever curious what ridiculous, nonsensical plot turn or awful line delivery was up next. It literally feels like the story was made up as it went along, but what's worse is that it lacks the confidence the director has shown us in every other film he's made. It's like he's lost his nerve. So many different drinking games could be born from the dopey shit that goes on in this movie. I mentioned Betty Buckley's off-the-wall performance as "Mrs. Jones," the woman who is completely unaware of the goings on in the rest of the world. In a lot of ways I envied her while watching The Happening. If I lived her life, I would never have known the pain of enduring this half-baked concoction, which may be Shyamalan's treatise about the environment, global warming, loving one another or respecting nature. My guess is that he was aimed for some combination of all of these. Unfortunately, the finished film feels more like the sloppy, chunky afterbirth of a message film from a man who used to impress me as a filmmaker. I truly hope this is as bad as it ever gets from Shyamalan. This is the kind of movie that kills careers; it certainly murdered my spirit for most of a day. It's almost worth seeing just to see how poorly executed every aspect of the work is, but even I'm not that much of a sadist to say that's a reason to watch any movie. I'm done. Capone capone@aintitcoolmail.com



Readers Talkback
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  • June 13, 2008, 3:38 a.m. CST

    FIIIIIIIRST!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Fockers!

  • June 13, 2008, 3:39 a.m. CST

    Capone, you sneaky fucker

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    I didn't think you were being sarcastic . I guess all the extra "O"'s should've clued me in.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:40 a.m. CST

    LLLLooooooooaaaaaatttthhheeeesssss

    by pokadoo

    is more like it. I thought that was going to be a good review. Oh well.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:43 a.m. CST

    This year's Little Miss Suicide!

    by Paulseta

    Couldn't happen to a nicer guy though - M "Night" is a complete shithead by accounts of most who have been unfortunate enough to work with him and not be of star level.<pr> The guy needed to be brought down to earth after the insane ego tantrums of "Big Pile Of Steaming Critic Kicking Puppy-Drowning Lady In The Fucking Toilet" of a couple of years back.<pr> The real crime is imagining how much talent from the below-the-line people was squandered on letting this uppity shitbag have a frankly undeserved third chance. <pr> And we thought this guy would be Another Speilberg(tm) after The Sixth Sense (and possibly Unbreakable). Cock.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:45 a.m. CST

    M Knight RamaDamaDingDong make unbreakable 2... save your career

    by BatMeister

    M Knight RamaDamaDingDong make unbreakable 2... save your career!!!

  • June 13, 2008, 3:46 a.m. CST

    Damn, Capone.

    by Julius Dithers

    Just...damn. I donʻt doubt you at all. But it dismays me to hear that a great (yeah, I said it) filmmaker like Shyamalan has fallen so far.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:46 a.m. CST

    M Knight RamaDamaDingDong make unbreakable 2... save your career

    by BatMeister

    M Knight RamaDamaDingDong make unbreakable 2... save your career!!!

  • June 13, 2008, 3:47 a.m. CST

    hahaha I love the headline man

    by kungfuhustler84

    everybody's like "what the fuck, really?!!" but of course not. THe only way I will ever see this is if it's for free. and I'm sooooo drunk

  • June 13, 2008, 3:48 a.m. CST

    ...and when M Knight RamaDamaDingDong appears in a movie...

    by BatMeister

    wear some mission impossable style mask, make us work for it

  • June 13, 2008, 3:49 a.m. CST

    so just to be sure

    by kungfuhustler84

    what is the twist again? plants are angry at people for not taking care of the planet so they release a plant fart or something that makes people suicidal. right? wow

  • June 13, 2008, 3:53 a.m. CST

    Saw the clip with Wahlberg on Leno the other night

    by Aloy

    ...and it was brutal (in the bad way not the violence way), to the point where I have no idea why they would even bother using it for promotion.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:55 a.m. CST

    "Always looked forward to seeing?"

    by Rowsdower.ZabRowsdower

    John Leguizamo? Even in Spawn??? You're one twisted soul, mister.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:55 a.m. CST

    Cobra--Kai

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    Then those people are stupid and deserve what they get.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:58 a.m. CST

    Capone your on dangerous ground

    by tomdolan04

    This is the first review to actually make me WANT to see the film on account of how ass-rapingly bad it is. <p> Not that I approve of ass-rapings naturally. Cough. I just like a laughably bad movie dammit

  • June 13, 2008, 4:04 a.m. CST

    Manoj Nelliyattu "Night" Shyamalan =

    by 33.3rpm

    Fez. Sorry I had to cook it down to that level, but...

  • June 13, 2008, 4:04 a.m. CST

    "...the film, by which, other bad movies will set their standard

    by Rowsdower.ZabRowsdower

    Isn't there an Uwe Boll standardized meter by which to gauge such efforts alreay? Yeah, I have my apprehensions about yet another Shamalayan twist ending of non-sensical proportions... but don't you think we're all gearing up to hate this, despite any merits it may possess, because we all feel kinda cheated over the easiness of the last couple he's done? Wow... just can't get over the statement of always looking forward to John Leguizamo movies... sounds like a kind of a sick fetish... one normally reserved for those idiots who actually spend money to see another "Meet the Spartans" or some such drek...

  • June 13, 2008, 4:11 a.m. CST

    One for the Advertising

    by tomdolan04

    "I was never bored watching THE HAPPENING"!!!! AICN Capone 2008

  • June 13, 2008, 4:13 a.m. CST

    To the folks who helped M. Night make this shitshow HAPPEN...

    by warphoenix

    ...MASTURBATE IN HELL! And to M. Night, you can't write to save yourself in a SAW movie. And yes...FUCK YOURSELF!

  • June 13, 2008, 4:27 a.m. CST

    NEW DARK KNIGHT ALTERNATE TRAILER!!!!!

    by UMAGA

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=w44k7KP7QHQ

  • Fuck this Happening shit.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:32 a.m. CST

    only news is how anyone who saw Lady didnt realise..

    by quantize

    this guy has disappeared up his own ass completely. That film was laughably silly & self indulgent. Hopefully this will be his last chance to foist his retarded wankery on us...BACK to the DRAWING BOARD M Night...no more excuses.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:33 a.m. CST

    Jesus Capone! You had me worried there...

    by Marxeffect

    I thought u were going to be the only person to like this movie!

  • June 13, 2008, 4:37 a.m. CST

    thanks for not trying to be hip by bashing Capone

    by Quartermass-87

    Every so often a particular director or actor gets the hate flowing their way...and why?...sometimes its just that every media outlet jumps on them and everyone else follows...cause god forbid they go against everyone else and actually let themselves like what they like. Like how many times is a movie seen as SO SO bad and Leno and Letterman make jokes and every comment is mocking and half the people haven't seen it...they just talk shit. I mean what if I said to a fan of a particular movie that it sucks...but not because I Saw it and didn't like it...but because I read a review or an article or so and so hated it so I have to to. I like M. Night....and diss him all you like...but then ask....how many movies have you successfully directed?....oh thats right not a fucking one....so there ya go...lol.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:39 a.m. CST

    shit I read the first line....oops it was sarcasm......LOL.....m

    by Quartermass-87

  • June 13, 2008, 4:40 a.m. CST

    Right Now

    by JimBobCooter

    A room full of Disney execs are high-fiving each other.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:44 a.m. CST

    And I love...

    by JimBobCooter

    when people say, "How many great movies have YOU made?!" <p> We all paid to see his hits and supported him, making him millions upon millions. So we, being CONSUMERS, get to bash him by giving us 4 shitty movies in a row. (I'm counting his Sci-Fi special in that list) And if this was a great movie, he would get our money. <p> See how this works?

  • June 13, 2008, 4:44 a.m. CST

    Awesome

    by Zappary

    I'll be first in line. I love a train wreck.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:52 a.m. CST

    Tiime to take the pen away from Shyamalan...

    by jaws8u

    and stab him in the eye with it. I have been hearing a lot of critics saying that he should stick to directing, but after making Leguizamo, Deschanel, and Wahlberg (fresh off of his legendary performance in the Departed) suck sperm through a straw, I'll be taking calls from Uwe Boll before this idiot. I also heard that James Newton Howard's score blows this time around. A huge disappointment considering every score he has done for Shy-guy has been better than the previous. Lady in the Water's score was incredible.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:57 a.m. CST

    SUCKER PUNCH HEADLINE.... NICE ONE...

    by greigy just wanted to say

  • June 13, 2008, 4:58 a.m. CST

    here's a prediction...

    by bobaswart

    ...in 10 years LADY IN THE WATER will be the next MP & THE HOLLY GRAIL. sought after and frequently vacant from movie rental shelves as the late night view-while-stoned movie M. Night always meant for it to be. maybe this is THEE genre he is creating for the youth of tomorrow. THE VILLAGE easily falls into that category as well. pure drunkin' fun if you ask me. and of course the highlight of each of these films is the cameo of ones self with LADY IN THE WATER being the shyte of all M. Night's appearances. it sounds like he's delivered this exact type of film yet again and honestly i can't wait to view it as it's supposed to be viewed. remember, it's the frame of mind we put ourselves in that cause us to soemwhat overly enjoy quirky movies and have them become our personal faves. i've been laughing at THE HAPPENING's trailers each time Wahlberg delivers the line 'with whom?' the look on his face is pure hilarity. keep 'em comin' M. Night. once you realize that these types of stories you're telling out comic genius you'll make the right type of movie once again and we'll truly love one of your films again...lol!

  • June 13, 2008, 5:03 a.m. CST

    oh yeah...

    by bobaswart

    i haven't read anyone saying M. Night appears in THE HAPPENING. anyone know?

  • June 13, 2008, 5:06 a.m. CST

    the happening....the musical

    by bacci40

    to open on broadway in 2012...produced by mel brooks...one two three two kick two

  • June 13, 2008, 5:06 a.m. CST

    ...

    by bobaswart

    ...it would be comic genius if it's one of the suicides.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:06 a.m. CST

    M. Night Cameo

    by JimBobCooter

    The other talkback said M. Night stars as an off-screen text messager. For what it's worth.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:07 a.m. CST

    bobaswart

    by JimBobCooter

    THe suicide cameo is GENIUS!! <p> Maybe too on the nose, though.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:23 a.m. CST

    Who thought that Shyalama was the next Spielberg?

    by JackPumpkinhead

    Speak for yourself, because I certainly didn't. When I first saw his first (big) film, the absolutely and utterly predictable "twist" gimmick 6th Sense, I just thought he was a hack plagiarist of Rod Serling, but without an iota of Serling's skills. I see it's only taken 10 years for some to find that out.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:24 a.m. CST

    Some advertising quotes from Capone's review

    by Paulseta

    Here's how advertising for this film could use bits Capone's review and sell it to the public: <br> "...buy a ticket to this film..." <BR><BR> "...ass kicking..." <BR><BR> "...Shyamalan is everybody's favorite...writer-director...very popular...the man has talent."<BR><BR> "...creeped me out time and time again..."<BR><BR> "...heroes...thrilling...the film by which other... movies will set their standard by."<BR><BR> "This is the kind of movie...worth seeing..."<BR><BR> Capone, aint it cool news, 2008

  • June 13, 2008, 5:34 a.m. CST

    Ebert gives it three stars

    by Frat Boy

    Just another reason why I have lost all trust in his reviews.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:35 a.m. CST

    M. Night Shyamalans' LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

    by LaserPants

    WATCH OUT THE PLANTS ARE GONNA GITCHA!!! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!! WHAT A TWEEEEEST!!!

  • June 13, 2008, 5:43 a.m. CST

    I've changed my mind! I WILL see this!

    by BiggusDickus

    Bad films are bad films, but truly, abysmally dreadful films are great in a 'I've just got to sit here and see what idiotic turn this thing takes next' sort of way.<p>I've always enjoyed sitting through a Wahlberg movie. It gives hope to the rest of us. I'm hoping this is as paralysingly bad as 'Planet of the Apes', which made no sense whatsoever.<p>Can it compete with 'Higlander II' though? Or 'A.I.'? Now they were awful beyond words...

  • June 13, 2008, 5:43 a.m. CST

    Has he gone mad?

    by Mr Gorilla

    Diss them as you may, I swear that UNBREAKABLE and SIGNS were enjoyable flicks. I even think I'd chose SIGNS over Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS, which were essentially the same idea. M. Night's cellar scene was better.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:44 a.m. CST

    Rated R for "Run home and download this instead

    by Stuntcock Mike

    of forking over your hard-earned coin"

  • June 13, 2008, 5:47 a.m. CST

    And Capone...

    by BiggusDickus

    Thanks for this review. The wife and I were lauging out loud at your words!

  • June 13, 2008, 5:47 a.m. CST

    M night is someone who needs to take his time

    by geraldbeans

    It took him forever to write the sixth sense. these films he's writing in a year. He needs way more time.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:52 a.m. CST

    SIGNS

    by bobaswart

    there's a great scene in SIGNS where they've boarded up all the doors while Mel gives his 'wanna know what happened when you were born' stories to the kids and the one door they forget to board up is the attic door. it's a great scene and it got cut from the film. catch it in the deleted scenes of the dvd. i thoroughly enjoyed that film the most. and M. Night was comic genius in that appearance as well...stickin' out like a sore thumb in rural pennsylvania. oops! maybe i shouldn't have said that...hee hee.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:57 a.m. CST

    Shayamalan's downfall

    by kafka07

    was very apparent with The Village. Never even bothered wasting my time with Lady in the Water. This guy's a hack.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:58 a.m. CST

    hey MR GORIILA...

    by bobaswart

    ...i have a question for you since you mention WOTW. i have a co worker that swears by the power of greyskull that Tim Robbins character in WOTW was a pedophile through and through. and that is clearly comes across in that scene and that is the more compelling reason Tom Cruise kills him. you thoughts?

  • June 13, 2008, 6:16 a.m. CST

    "This is the kind of movie that kills careers"

    by newc0253

    i thought that when watching Lady in the Water, but here we all are again.<p> The remarkable thing is that Shayamalan is an astonishingly good director: even when he's making flawed films (e.g. Unbreakable) or batshit craxy ones (i.e. Lady in the Water), the guy's talent is undeniable.<p> The fact that his next film is an adaptation (Airbender) gives me hope that, by translating someone else's ideas rather than coming up with his own, he'll finally pull his head out of his ass and deliver a genuinely great film.<p>

  • June 13, 2008, 6:39 a.m. CST

    What newc0253 said

    by TheNorthlander

    I agree, man.

  • June 13, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    I'm shocked that anyone thought it might be good

    by Trazadone

    Seriously, MNS made 1 decent movie in 1999 and crap ever since. Why is it every time he has a new movie coming out there are MNS apologists who have high hopes about his next offering? He's as narcissistic as you can get, which means he is incapable of understanding that his vanity projects rival those Uwe Boll.

  • June 13, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    M. Good Night Man

    by Athanatos

    I personally don't understand the love for this guy, although it was in no way a shocking or unpredictable twist, I did enjoy the Sixth Sense, all his other movies were horrible beyond belief. Signs was the most flawed movie ever, and though it's been thrown around endlessly, I ask again, what kind of moronic beings that can be killed by water would invade a planet that is mostly composed of water? He has fallen to the Boll level of directors in mho.

  • June 13, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    It was a great trailer...

    by RicardoMontalban

    I'll give M. Night the benefit of the doubt, I really loved "The Sixth Sense" and "The Village" to a lesser extent. Besides, what else is out there right now... a remake of a 2003 movie? Hey movie fans, check out this awesome new blog on blogspot. it's called thebitterproducer spread the word!

  • June 13, 2008, 6:52 a.m. CST

    I have ignored M. Night since "Signs"

    by Stollentroll

    Maybe the worst film I've ever seen in a movie theater. Wait...Black Dahlia comes close...

  • June 13, 2008, 6:53 a.m. CST

    Misleading headline. "Loooves?"

    by V'Shael

    I almost didn't read the story, just mentally said "Wow, Capone liked it, I might give it a look"

  • June 13, 2008, 6:53 a.m. CST

    All the reviews are bad, this pleases me for some reason

    by Trazadone

    From dark Horizons, "Excluding a few moments of chilling effectiveness, this could fairly be called his worst film yet. Even his usual saving grace of keen directorial acumen for the first time visibly loses cohesion on screen, ultimately yielding a film that would've been considered one of the year's most notable disappointments had there actually been any anticipation for it..."

  • June 13, 2008, 6:56 a.m. CST

    M.Night's response

    by tomdolan04

    "B...b...Bu...but its got Marky Mark. Trying to reason. With a Pot Plant. You peasants will never be happy"

  • June 13, 2008, 6:56 a.m. CST

    Can't download this

    by pearlanddean

    Who's going to actually turn up and camcorder it?

  • June 13, 2008, 7:09 a.m. CST

    Unbreakable is good??

    by The Jailer

    Watch it again knowing what is to come from MKS and I guarantee you will change your mind. The idea for the plot was good but the direction and gimmicky camera work are crap.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST

    I saw this coming

    by Rat Fink

    M. Night needs to give it up. Sixth Sense was a fluke. Everything else has been mediocre or just sucked. I have no doubt this movie will make me feel like I'm sticking a No. 2 pencil in my left eye.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:14 a.m. CST

    Feel THE TERROR of liking a movie

    by CuervoJones

    Only in AICN

  • June 13, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    Change the fricking title

    by greekCopter

    Honestly, i, like many others don't read all the reviews. Change it to avoid confusions that will most certainly come from this.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Glad you liked The Village Capone

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Completely misunderstood and underrated film.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    The thing is

    by kwisatzhaderach

    M Night is a talented filmmaker. So long as Bay, Ratner, Wiseman and co are making movies Shyamalan will always have my support.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    I love Signs and The Village

    by CuervoJones

    But i´m afraid i´m gonna hate this. Damn! I don´t like to hate movies.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    ... sorry Night...

    by only1

    I'm a Night fan... I'll admit. I still can't understand the backlash unleashed by fans on him in recent years. I liked The Village also. I think the audience was just expecting some paranormal phenom rather than what they got. MNS films faves? 1)Unbreakable (GREAT flick) 2)Signs 3)The Sixth Sense (great flick, too... solid base for his next 2 efforts) 3)The Village (ON THE LEVEL of the previous three...) 4) Lady in the Water (Honestly? haven't even seen it all. Just couldn't get into it. Maybe Disney was a better fit for Night than he thought)... ... But I heard a DJ talking about a press screening of The Happening and it just sounds horric. Capone's review is positive in comparison.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Lady in the Water was Worse than Ishtar

    by kevinwillis.net

    Ishtar really wasn't that bad. Not a great movie by any measure, and where did all the money they spend on it go? It certainly wasn't on the screen. But Ishtar didn't feature lengthy self-congratulatory writer-director-is-God sequences--starring M. Night himself!--or have anything approaching the appalling "critics should just shut up! or die!" theme running through a goodly portion of that movie. And this movie may even be worse than Ishtar . . . but, as someone who enjoyed (sometimes with effort) every movie M. Night made up until Lady in the Water, I gotta say Lady in the Water was a self-indulgent piece of garbage that leaves me no hope for The Crappening. And the reviews I'm ready tend to bear that out. I will be avoiding this one like the plague.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Oh, and No Unbreakable Sequel!

    by kevinwillis.net

    M. Night has recently proven he would make a movie that sucks, that whatever "spark" he had has been smothered in his ego, and so it would just spit on the first movie . . . so why bother? It'd be like George Lucas making crappy prequels to our beloved childhood action and sci-fi films.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST

    I like what J Pumpkinhead says....

    by LORDRANDO

    Some of us always thought this guy sucks. The only thing worthwhile he ever did was the tiny little part of signs where the spanish kids see the alien. And he stole that from Bigfoot footage.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    MNS's "The Village"...

    by Kid Z

    ...actually caused my then-girlfriend and I to break up! We got into a huge argument over how badly it sucked (interestingly, we both thought it sucked, the argument was more over why I was stupid enough to take her to see it after we had both really hated "Signs"several years before). Yep, MNS movies can actually end relationships! I'll be avoiding "The Happening" like the plague, of course.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    THE CRAPPENING 2: CRAP HARDER

    by turketron

    No way I'll be spending moneys to see this. If I'm ever in a self abusing mood, I may download it one day and watch it, much in the way I saw The Wicker Man. That or I'm sure someone will make a highlight reel on youtube of its most ridiculous parts.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    This has to be said

    by Jason B. Swaim

    PLANT!!!

  • June 13, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST

    So, the dude who saw this awhile back was

    by the_scream

    Right on the money. Pretty much what the rumors were saying. Doesn't look good for M Night who is a good director who has lost his way.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    Maybe the execs pull the plug..

    by TimMighty

    ..on the Airbender thing...well..at least trying to get another director. Could be that - whatever project mNights attached to is tainted from now on. Still sad because i really liked "Unbreakable"...enjoyed "signs"..survived "the village" somehow and with "lady in the water"..there is a grey area in my brain where that memory was.

  • June 13, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    This guy has made TWO good flicks...

    by ScaryWaitress

    Sixth Sense, and Unbreakable. Everything after them was a steaming pile of excrement. Shyamalan thinks he's Hitchcock's heir... I have some grave news for him. He's not fit to spitshine Hitchcock's shoes. Someone PLEASE tell this guy to go away.

  • June 13, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Saw it last night at a screening in Manhattan

    by HypeEndsHere

    If you go in with the idea it's a comedy, this thing is fucking great. kind of like Event Horizon.

  • June 13, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    Go rent the Signal

    by Series7

    Thats the movie M. Dark Knight Skidosh wanted to make. Harry would've told you if he still did the DVD colum.

  • June 13, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Kid Z

    by henrydalton

    "The Village actually caused my then-girlfriend and I to break up! We got into a huge argument over how badly it sucked (interestingly, we both thought it sucked, the argument was more over why I was stupid enough to take her to see it." Funniest thing I've read all day :)

  • June 13, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    The rest of the world will finally accept

    by superfleish76

    what a shitty director M. Night is. I don't want to hate his movies, I just do. Signs was so bad, I swore I would never pay to watch another. I wish that he would pull off something great, but when your best film doesn't even hold up on a second viewing, I don't have much hope for you. All of his films are boring, and since Unbreakable, they have been just plain bad!

  • June 13, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    I don't get it

    by TKO

    Why / how does a plant make people want to kill themselves?

  • June 13, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Will this kill "CELL"?

    by gotilk

    Hope not, it was a fun read.

  • June 13, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    It begins with the script and the script didn't work.

    by Uncapie

    Its a version of the episode with Bernard Lee and the thinking plants from "Dr. Terror's House of Horror's" Shalaman saw and extended, but extended poorly. Fucking studio management should learn how to read instead of having shallow readers tell them what to think.No wonder the majority of movies suck. Stupid fuckers.

  • June 13, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    L. DUK DONG'S WOTSA HAPPENIN' HOTSTUFF 2:

    by BringingSexyBack

    RISE OF THE SEXY AMERICAN GIRLFRIEND

  • June 13, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Fuck you Capone. M Night is a genius

    by Proman1984

    And he never made a poor movie.

  • June 13, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    HAHAHAH Does anyone else remember

    by Series7

    The show On the Lot? You know the one where Bret Ratner helped decide who is good enough to be a director? If so does anyone remember that one girl who made a horror movie about a guy trimming a tree and did it from the trees perspective? M. Nite must saw that and was really effected.

  • June 13, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    M Knight

    by Powerring

    M Knight Shamalamadingdong should go back to bollywood. His toothless, lame pictures have polluted the scene since the 6th sense. The village? Signs? Lady in the water? That is a trifecta of stupidity and bad film making. Three strikes, and your out.

  • June 13, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    "Unbreakable"

    by Powerring

    There was nothing super about this character. he doesn't even bench press as much as a couple of my friends, and especially not as much as the average NFL lineman. So he didn't get sick, and he is somehow indestructable. The whole thing was too low key (zzzz) and the villain was pathetic. Not Sam Jackson, just the completely nonthreatening glass boned character. ZZZZZZ.

  • June 13, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    I may have to get this on DVD now

    by Animation

    I love bad films. Well, not bad films, but films that are so awful that you spend the whole time squirming and/or pointing and laughing. Preferably both. I will have to put the DVD on my shelf next to Hick Trek, Sore Losers, and Joe Christ's Communion in Room 410. Sweet!

  • June 13, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Movies are short, careers are long

    by Russman

    Night will be back. Relax people.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    BSB: RISE OF THE SEXY AMERICAN GIRLFRIEND

    by kevinwillis.net

    It'll be John Hughes comeback movie. Hopefully followed by a Breakfast Club movie where they've all become meth addicts. Except Ally Sheedy's character, whose now the CEO of eBay.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    Still a fan...

    by Billyeveryteen

    Sure he's neck deep in crazytown, but I have found something of real value in every film.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Shame that the only summer-movie films

    by CreasyBear

    that aren't 1. a sequel 2. based on a book 3. based on a comic 4. based on an old TV show, happen to all suck. Shame that MNS is the only one willing to provide new ideas instead of that tired "based on __" shit, and a shame that his ideas have sucked lately.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    I Hope M. Night Comes Back

    by kevinwillis.net

    Humbled, and ready to make a decent movie that doesn't (a) star him, or (b) revolve around his humongous ego.<br><br>Sorry, I gave him several chances, and the benefit of the doubt, up through The Village. But Lady in the Water really pissed me off. What a piece of crap.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Unbreakable was a Fun Movie

    by kevinwillis.net

    Not as good as the Sixth Sense . . . seriously, if you don't like Sixth Sense or Unbreakable, I get it. But the same guy who made those two movies made Lady in the Water? And now The Happening? Seriously?<br><br>M. Night may be overdue for a cat scan. Something's gone wrong.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    MST 3K

    by Powerring

    I will see "The happening" as modern day schlock that will get slammed on an upcoming MST3K. "This is a sensation altogeather new to me ...and I think I like it!"

  • June 13, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    M. Night's Ideas aren't Knew

    by kevinwillis.net

    But his takes have been, generally, "fresh" and interesting, while at the same time being sufficiently familiar and accessible to reach a mass audience. He had an ability to hit a sweet spot . . . but, like Narcissus, he's been too busy gazing at his reflection to ever return to the nuts and bolts of what makes a good film. And it's been becoming clearer and clearer with each subsequent ego-fest--I mean, movie.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Aren't NEW, I Mean

    by kevinwillis.net

    I am a homonym dyslexical. That being said, it wouldn't bother me that M. Night is so arrogant and egotistical, if it didn't infect his films. But clearly, it's done something to his film-making ability.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    "Something of Value in Every Film"

    by kevinwillis.net

    Me, too, sort of. But the problem is that in Lady in the Water, it was The Critic--ergo, the "bad guy" who was actually the interesting character, and the only one worth watching, and the lazy way M. Night handled him--and his demise--sort of dilluted the value.<br><br>Sorry. Lady in the Water pissed me off.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST

    CreasyBear

    by Series7

    If M. Knights ideas are new, then did Rod Serling never exist? Did M. Knight pull a twist on life?

  • June 13, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    still don't see...

    by bobaswart

    ...if someone posted on whether he appears in this one...hopefully as one of the suicieds...one can always hope...

  • June 13, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    bobaswart

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    He "plays" the dude who's banging Marky Mark's wife and sending her texts. The Onion's A.V. Club said he's not in the movie, but is credited as that character.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    dominic-vobisum

    by bobaswart

    oh yeah. that's right...heard that. thanks.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    by bobaswart

    could've redeemed himself somewhat if he killed himself on screen.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    I haven't seen it but let me take a guess

    by Trazadone

    by every little touch it reveals layers of self-indulgence and pretension so unbelievable you eventually wouldn't be more insulted if M. Night crashed a Dodge Charger into your Bar Mitzvah reception, then jumped out and started dry humping your wheelchair-bound grandmother while screaming "love sausage!" over and over. I wouldn't be surprised if he casts himself as the man who singlehandedly halts the evil Happening phenomenon, riding down from the sky on a golden cloud, wearing a chest-revealing tunic, carrying Gandalf's staff in one hand and Rambo's M-60 in the other. God, I hated Lady in the Water.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    "Breakable" - Describing Sham's Career...

    by Read and Shut Up

    ...well, there's always made-for-TV movies, Shammy.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Aliens in the Water

    by Steve_Dooku

    maybe it was like Alien Nation where the salt water was like acid to the "visitors", but in reverse. The salt water was "GOOD" and the fresh water bad. <br><br> WOTW - I didn't see the Tim Robbins basement dweller telegraphed as a pedophile, just a nutjob.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    How does he keep getting work?

    by mckron

    And he still has Airbender to ruin too. Oh! I know, let's get Ewe Boll to direct a live action Bleach/Naruto and the world will be perfect! *sigh*

  • June 13, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Sounds So bad I Have To See It

    by www.valiens.com

    Anyone else gonna go just to see a future punchline?

  • June 13, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Cobra--Kai

    by The Funketeer

    Then those people deserve what they get. Who sees a movie based on a headline?

  • June 13, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    SIXTH SENSE, UNBREAKABLE, and SIGNS are not his "first three fil

    by abcdefz7

    They're third, fourth, and fifth. Why does pretty much everybody think his career started with THE SIXTH SENSE? Did Kubrick's start with THE KILLING? Um, no.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    Trazadone: You Nailed Him

    by kevinwillis.net

    "I wouldn't be surprised if he casts himself as the man who singlehandedly halts the evil Happening phenomenon, riding down from the sky on a golden cloud, wearing a chest-revealing tunic, carrying Gandalf's staff in one hand and Rambo's M-60 in the other."<br><br>That's M. Night's approach to film making in a nutshell.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Started career

    by Powerring

    I never heard of/saw anything by Shamalamadingdong until his mega-hit sixth sense. That is the reason why it's considered to have started his career. It got him on the "A" list, which he kept at a "D-" level since.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    I plan on seeing this Saturday night.

    by classyfredblassy

    I am bringing a remote control fart machine and some stink bombs. Should make it more enjoyable. Blassy, out.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    I plan on seeing this Saturday night.

    by classyfredblassy

    I am bringing a remote control fart machine and some stink bombs. Should make it more enjoyable. Blassy, out.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    M. Night is a gimmick director

    by TVguy4566

    So what is the surprise ending in this one? Does M. Night know that if you have a surprise ending in every single one of your movies, it isn't a surprise anymore?<br><br> I do think he has talent, but his twist at the end of Signs hurt the movie for me. It seems more like he forced the twist in because it is his trademark than actually being intrical to the story. As many have said in the past, The Village came off like an episode of the Twilight Zone. <br><br> The twist made the Sixth Sense. Personally, I was a bit bored by the Sixth Sense until the twist. It worked in Unbreakable, but wasn't all that neccessary.Since then, it has been a distraction and a crutch in his movies rather than an intrical part of his movie.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Someone give Zooy a successful movie!

    by I Dunno

    I don't care if it's a Michael Bay crap fest, give her some cash and some fame! I don't even need to see her naked, she's that beautiful and sublime. Put her in the next $200 million dollar Marvel comics movie, anything. Just someone make her an A lister.<p>(and yes, I do want to see her naked)</P>

  • June 13, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    any director that has a fake biography

    by zom-bot.com

    on the sci fi channel, pretending that his life is so mysterious and that he may be an alien, or a ghost or something...has some serious problems.<P>i remember watching that thinking it would be like a mockumentary, or at least him retelling some weird things that DID happen in his childhood or something...and it was the most painful, self absorbed exercise in ...oh hell it was just a trainwreck.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    He's gonna lose Airbender after this

    by Laserhead

  • June 13, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    i thought of a great analogy for m knight.

    by zom-bot.com

    he's like the david blaine of directors. all hype and mysterious aura, and his stuff gets pushed into the spotlight somehow and we all fall for seeing it even though we try to avoid it- and in the end the stunt/movie falls short and no one gives a shit, until the next televised stunt where we all get suckered in again. both are shameless self promoters that seem to enjoy making people think they are the antichrist or something.

  • June 13, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    TVguy

    by bobjustbob

    Shyamalan is the guy with "The Gimmick(tm)." It is what he does and that is fine if its done well. The bad news is that he has gotten sloppy and lazy and lost in his delusion of granduer. I really think he develops "The Gimmick(tm)" first and then tries to wrap a story around it. IMO, that's the only way you can explain the crap he's excreted onto the screen starting with SIGNS. The man needs a serious intervention.

  • June 13, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    sooo....you would reccomend it?

    by Sakurai

    meh, I will see it anyway. I enjoyed lady in the water.

  • June 13, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    PLANT!

    by g-ride9000

  • June 13, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    The Sixth Sense was not his first film

    by DukeDeMondo

    Folks talk about Shyamalan's first three flicks - Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs... These were NOT his first three films. And I'm torn here for although I love gawking with awe and horror at the worst of the worst, I do very much like the fella. The Village i detested, but I'm startin' to think i was wrong on that one. Lady In The Water was ... mesmerising, for all sorts of reasons, none of which, i would imagine, were intentional. But yeah. I'm sorry this is a wreck. I hope very much that it's not. but it's not lookin' good.

  • June 13, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    Unbreakable, re: PowerRing...

    by Darth Macchio

    It may be that there are football linemen who can benchpress upwards of 500 pounds but you were watching the movie so you must have also noticed that Willis's character isn't a 6'8" 300 lb plus huge football lineman correct? Have you ever seen a guy who looks like Willis come close to benching that kinda weight? And in the deleted scenes, he actually goes to the University (where he works) gym with his son. Theres a group of ball players hanging out across the room and Willis's character adds more and more weight until, if I remember correctly, he's benching upwards of 1000 pounds if not more (record is 1010lbs by a guy who looks like he could eat Willis in one gulp). The scene goes quiet as Willis looks up at his son and then all of the football players staring dumbfounded that the average sized 50-something security guard just lifted more weight than anybody they'd ever seen with their own eyes.<p>I won't go to lengths to defend Shamalyan but I really like Unbreakable and if that was the only film the guy had made so far, I'd say we were in for a great ride. Too bad he fell in love with himself and practiced self-love on the screen for the next 3 flicks.<p>For a good laugh, go read Vern's take on his obsession with all things Bryce Howard!

  • June 13, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST

    Ok, so what your really trying to say is...

    by wowsucks

    crickets..... boo .... crickets..... end credits? But the question is, does Tony Stark make a cameo?

  • June 13, 2008, 12:12 p.m. CST

    RE: Darth Macchio/Willis

    by Powerring

    Given that the character could press at least 1,000 lbs, then the guy he fought with should have been quickly, and easily dispatched without so much of a struggle. There is no way that guys' strength should even be close. Imagine: the average 190lb guy getting tackled/hit by someone capable of pressing SIX TIMES his body weight. That would be worse than being hit by Mike Tyson in his prime. The character played by Willis should have been able to lift the guy with one hand and body slam him like a small rodent.

  • June 13, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Twilight Zone

    by Powerring

    Shamalamadingdong doesn't posess a fraction of Rod Serlings genius for writing. I am still awed to this day at the sheer level of excellence of the original Zone.

  • June 13, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    will he EVEN recover?

    by davy jones owns

    sure making Unbreakable 2 (and 3!) could salvage his career. but when Avatar: The Last Airbender is the next movie on your slate...it doesn't look good.

  • June 13, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Capone is the only AICNer to review THE FAPPENING?

    by bobjustbob

    I'm assuming others on this site saw it too.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    It's like blood in the water...

    by andrew coleman

    Some of you get joy out of bashing people. It's very sad. I'm not going to defend his bad movies: Lady in the water. But I'm not going to hope he looses work and what not. Get a life guys unless M. Night killed your dog or something you shouldn't take this stuff so personally. It's movies guys. Also in like one week when no one is in the theater get drunk and make your own MST3K jokes! Could be fun.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:07 p.m. CST

    MemOfMurder, I will watch this with an open mind...

    by Lenny Nero

    ...as I try to do with every movie. I am always expecting good things from M. Night, because I think he has real talent, but have been let down since SIGNS on just pure reaction to the individual movie at hand. <p>And I assure you, if this movie sucks, I will indeed lament M. Night and not celebrate. Unlike Boll, he actually has the skills, but perhaps needs some humbling.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    John Cocktoesin

    by g-ride9000

    What if Flech 3 was directed by M. Night?

  • June 13, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    M Night's cameo as Jesus was unexpected...

    by modern_lovers

    ...but at the part when he comes down from heaven in a golden chariot to bring all the dead people back to life by kissing their foreheads and giving them all white roses, I was like "this movie sucks!"

  • June 13, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Lenny Nero

    by g-ride9000

    how bout you give that movie ticket money to a homeless guy and stare at the plants growing for 2 hours instead of seeing this movie. You get the same bang for your buck and you help the homeless.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Roger Ebert. Thumbs up. And I quote....

    by www.valiens.com

    "I suspect I'll be in the minority in praising this film. It will be described as empty, uneventful, meandering. But for some, it will weave a spell. It is a parable, yes, but it is also simply the story of these people and how their lives and existence have suddenly become problematic. We depend on such a superstructure to maintain us that one or two alterations could leave us stranded and wandering through a field, if we are that lucky." - any thought on that?

  • June 13, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    For fucks sake Memories-Of-Murder

    by BrandonGK

    What are you his fucking mother?

  • June 13, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    This 4-minute student film is better than The Happening

    by Trazadone

    http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/06/13/votd-pencil-face/

  • June 13, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Ebert Gave It Three Stars

    by mjgtexas

    It's Official: Ebert has placed the hackneyed environmental flick on par with the patronizing white guilt trip flick in which he can muster no objectivity.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    My God, people!

    by Lobanhaki

    <br>The atmosphere here is just toxic. This is about a movie, you insane shitheads. Everybody expects him to pull out a masterpiece out of his ass every other second, and that doesn't happen in the real world.</br> <br>Now, I've seen his mainstream movies up to The Village, and they're pretty good. Not always organic, but there's creativity and effort to what he does. He cares about his films in a way many directors we can name, like Brett Ratner or McG, simply don't. If you take risks, if you don't stick to just what you've done well before, you will make some mistakes.</br> <br>Unfortunately, too many people go into his movies expecting the latest iteration of Sixth Sense. That means for them, everything will seem off. The key to his movies, what made him an excellent filmmaker to begin with, is his ability to work on a gut level. But if you've already decided what to anticipate from the movie, well, you're not going to be pleased.</br> <br>I read that book about him, and I think I understand where the guy comes from. He may not be perfect, may often be awkward, but if all you want is polished, inexpressive movies that don't have any rough edges, all you'll get out of things is diminishing returns.</br> <br>When did everybody become a critic? When did we all start to go to movies to critique them and stuff them in little boxes? Have fun with things. Unless you just can't help it, just relax, because it's just a movie, and you can't make these things perfect and lovable by everybody anyways.</br>

  • June 13, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    I fear Ebert's health problems are ruining his judgment

    by Trazadone

  • June 13, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Lobanhaki

    by Trazadone

    MNS has made crappy film after crappy film, why are you complaining about? People really liked Sixth Sense and have been waiting for another good film from this man. Unfortunately every film he has made since has sucked. If we're paying $10 to see a movie fans have every right have have an opinion about it. What's the bug up your ass?

  • June 13, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    Lobanhaki

    by g-ride9000

    I'm relaxed as a PLANT. We can help if this movie is the best thing to make fun of since Memories-of-Mundane. <P><P>ps douchbag, the only idiot trying to recreate "the sixth sense" is M. Night.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    anyone else guess the ending to his movie in the trailer

    by g-ride9000

    I did for this one and "The Village" you mean its modern times? holy shit! WHAT A TWIST!

  • June 13, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Hulk smash long talkback posts

    by g-ride9000

    Do you guys talk that much?

  • June 13, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    And yet Capone like Indy 4

    by rutan07

    Kind of been harping on this point but this review sounds exactly like what I experienced while watching Indy 4. I thought that was the worst movie of the year but maybe I was wrong.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    You're wrong, Indy was a lot of fun!

    by Trazadone

    Loved it.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    Well you sure told us, Memories of Murder

    by BrandonGK

    Hot fucking damn you really gave it to us good. I won't flame you though. I mean its your money and if you want to use to watch the most overrated, self indulgent hacks in modern cinema piss on your face for an hour and a half, by all means don't let us ignorant, unwashed plebs stop you.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    If you can actuallt defend Lady in the Water....

    by drewlicious

    You might want to keep an eye out for men in white coats because you sir, are certifiable.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Robot chicken

    by Powerring

    M Knight is a running joke on robot chicken. His character appears (with a shit-eating grin) and speaks the catch phrase "with a twist!" Incidentally, personally attacking/insulting other posters on this forum does not make M Knight movies suck any less. I go to movies to enjoy them, not to get Bollywood hack-job fluff. Ebert is truly sucking up too many pain meds to praise this crap. he is now, and will be in the minority when word of mouth gets around and this movie bombs. "His first R rated movie." Who cares??? That just means many younger people will not experiance the sucking firsthand.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Damnit, I thought this was a positive review.

    by Gilkuliehe

    I didn't even read it at first, cuz I don't want spoilers. But I read it now that I'm bored at work and surprise, it's a bad bad review. A guy on a paper here gave it three stars out of four. And he gave THERE WILL BE BLOOD only two, so go figure. Note: Sarcasm does not read well on headlines, folks.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:46 p.m. CST

    BrandonGK

    by g-ride9000

    M-O-M is the best to flame...don't hold back. You can say the most trite shit and he'll respond with a bible's worth of bad analogies, piss-poor comparisons and shitty allusions. It's like arguing with a autistic art critic

  • June 13, 2008, 1:48 p.m. CST

    Hulk smash things you like

    by g-ride9000

    Node32774 I'm tryin to help your rap game over there.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Things I Like:

    by kevinwillis.net

    Indy 4<br><br>The Village (qualified)<br><br>I didn't like Ang Lee's Hulk, but it's Raiders of the Lost Ark when compared to Lady in the Water. Seriously. I'm not an Ang Lee fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I'd watch any of his boring and tedious films (and the good ones, even more) before assaulting myself with Lady in the Water again. Or the The M. Nightening. Well, I'll have to see The Happening at least once. Maybe it'll win me over. I am dubious.

  • June 13, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST

    It's like he's lost his nerve.

    by Wee Willie

    Wouldn't you lose your nerve after the drubbing he got for Lady in the Water? Why are people so quick to shit all over filmmakers. Say what you will, he's a talented guy. What's a few mis-steps?

  • June 13, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    Pull quotes:

    by Det. John Kimble

    Here's what they'll use in the promo ads: "Shyamalan is... great! Skillfully creeped me out! Mark Wahlberg's performance was... legendary! ...startling! ...thrilling! This is the film by which other... movies will set their standard! I was never bored watching THE HAPPENING!"

  • June 13, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    He needs to do a Horror Anthology film...

    by Mr. Profit

    Like "Creep Show" or "Tales From The Darkside" and write 3 horror stories with plot twists. That way his stories won't seem ridiculous if they are only 30 minutes long. Plot twists work when they are totally unexpected and give you no time to think about them. It also would get the ideas for his next 3 movies (cause you know they'll all have twists) out the way in one shot. <p>He should also then direct an action movie that he DID NOT write himself.</P> <P>If he does these things properly, then he'll redeem himself</P>

  • June 13, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    My Latest Theory

    by Det. John Kimble

    M.N.S. is an Über-genius and, along with Uwe, is creating the films necessary for his ultimate project: A relaunch of Mystery Science Theater 3000. There's your twist, bitches.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Power Ring

    by DennisMM

    Why would you refer to MNS's work as Bollywood? He's lived in the USA since he was an infant. His films don't show any strong Bollywood influence. If anything, he's divorced himself from his heritage. None of his films except "Praying with Anger" have anything to do with India or Indias. The Indian characters in his films are Americans who happen to be of Indian descent. Given this, your two references to Bollywood sound a great deal like some sort of ethnic dislike. MNS not white enough for you?

  • June 13, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    M Night WAS a good filmmaker

    by bobjustbob

    Shyamalan showed talent and promise… once. But somewhere between UNBREAKABLE and SIGNS he fell off the deep end. I would LOVE to see another good Shyamalan film. Really I would. Unfortunately, what I see is a once well-regarded filmmaker sinking further and further into his own self-delusion. He has become a parody of himself. <p><p> As always, IMO and YMMV.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    DennisMM

    by Powerring

    Sounds like a very racist and paranoid remark to pull some kind of accusation like racism out of your ass. The next thing you'll do is accuse me of being a Nazi because I think some of Speilburg's work is sappy pablum. If you have ever watched bollywood (obviously, you have not) you will see how prudish, syrupy and sappy is frequently is. Banji by the beach? Bend it like Beckham? and the list goes on...Some of the stuff could give Frank Capra diabetes. Bollywood is a close description of many of the repeated (smarmy and flaccid) aspects of MNS's filmmaking. Since you don't know who I am or where I am from, consider yourself an ass for assuming I am white.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    AM I THE ONLY PERSON...?

    by Ray Gamma

    Am I the only person in the world who not only finds the premise of this movie ridiculous and juvenile, but also somehow offensive? I don't understand why, being a huge fan of apocalyptic horror, somehow Shyamalan has actually prodded me in the bad taste nerves. Worse even than 'Hostel' in that respect. Anyone else?

  • June 13, 2008, 2:21 p.m. CST

    Night had one good film in him

    by Rupee88

    And that was the Sixth Sense of course. The reason many of us kinda hate him is because after that, he did crappy movies that made a lot of money. That wasn't his fault, but it still created a lot of contempt. Glad this will FAIL.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Too many comments by people who claim to love film, but seem to

    by Lobanhaki

    <br>Trazadone, If you're going to disrespect somebody's opinion by alleging their health problems have given them bad taste in movies, don't turn around and defend others for just speaking their opinions, because that seems to be respect for my opinion, but not for thee. Mental defects should not be invoked as a reason for disagreement in the same sentence you tell folks that people are entitled to their opinions.</br> <br>I don't know how many talkbacker's I've seen have complained about shitty CGI, or predicted a movies collapse, or descended into pure trollery concerning a director of some kind. There's always some asshole who hides behind their screen name to demonstrate how much they love dumping on film and how little they love actually watching it. If you took these talkback messages and read them out of context, you'd have no idea that the site was built for film-lovers.</br> <br>It's not perfect, and never will be perfect. My experience over all the years I've watched movies on a regular basis is that almost no movie makes everybody happy. There's always somebody who doesn't like it for one reason or another.</br> <br>And I accept that. I accept that there are going to be people who simply don't like his films. It's the venom of that dislike that sickens my stomach. This is people dumping on him because its fun for them, and I've no respect at all for that.</br> <br>I'm not going to tell you that all his movies are incredible. I know they're flawed. I'm nervous about watching Lady in the Water. But let me tell you: I was nervous about The Village, too. Then I watched it, and liked it. In the end, you don't know what you're going to like unless you're open to more than just your standard fare. Too many people here seem to be joylessly locked on their particular fix, and critical of anything else. I mean people getting pissy about flame decals on Optimus Prime- could you get any more pathetic? If you want lockstep comfortable creative decisions, you'll get bland crap. Only when people are willing to take chances do you get the kind of adventurous, creative storytelling that brings things to life.</br>

  • June 13, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    PowerRing

    by Lobanhaki

    Bollywood as influences? Good heavens man. His cinematography tends towards Chiaroscuro, not golden and festive. His movies are often works of suspense, and/or horror. Nobody sings, and there are very few instances of dancing. You folks pick Bollywood out of the air because it's Indian and so is Night. But of course, if your goal is to troll around dumping on him everytime he's featured in an article, such distinctions probably don't concern you much. I enjoy movies, so I find it sad that so many people on this site seem to enjoy internet trollery more. If you want to live under that particular bridge, though, I can't stop you.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Oh, and Bend it Like Beckham...

    by Lobanhaki

    ...is British. Influenced, maybe, but not Bollywood.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:40 p.m. CST

    Lobanhaki

    by Powerring

    It's not a troll you arrogant prick. You just don't like everyone calling a hack a hack. I stated exactly what mirrors bollywood from M knight shitonmore, and it's accurate. You are referring to cinamatography techniques (dumbass tangent there moron) I was referring to the style and delivery. So shove it up your water tight ass.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    I heard...

    by TKO

    that the twist to this movie is that the fuckin plants are making the people nuts and kill themselves. something about the plants fuck with the people's nerves and crap. Come one, these so-called "twists" are so incredibly stupid now. He'll never be even close to making a movie as good as 6th Sense anymore. Why Signs did so well is a mystery to me. All the others are crap. Including this one. ...plants...please

  • June 13, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    Lobanhaki

    by DennisMM

    Thanks. You said it better than I might have and didn't get angry in the process. I haven't seen much Bollywood ("Bend it Like Beckham" hardly counts), but from what I have seen, MNS has little to do with it. Let's call George Lucas a Russo-Finnish filmmaker because of his lousy writing, poor direction of actors and use of classic fantasy themes. As for racism, I don't hate MNS anymore than I hate any white film maker who has squandered his talent - like George Lucas. 'nuff said.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    I don't understand the headline?!?!

    by The Dum Guy

    Are you saying it was so bad a movie that it was entertaining?

  • June 13, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    The Dum Guy

    by DennisMM

    I'd say it fails completely, but miserably is a fine characterization. Whoever chose the headline screwed the pooch on this one. Perhaps if they'd made some sort of typographical attempt at demonstrating the irony. Or if similar irony was demonstrated in the opening of the piece.

  • June 13, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    the suicides

    by serro

    i'm hoping teens into hiphop and reality shows get ideas when they watch the suicides in this movie! LOL!!

  • June 13, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    Lobanhaki

    by Trazadone

    MNS brings this kind of "venom" upon himself. He is narcissistic, arrogant, and he is unable to acknowledge that there have been some problems with his movies. You're correct, film, like any form of art, is subjective. However, MNS engenders the kind of responses you see above because he is unlikable and he has made a number of films that, in the opinion of a lot of people are simply awful. I dare you to watch Lady in the Water and not be offended that such an awful film (imho) was greenlit while many, many promising directors never get a shot. Would you respond with such anger if this was an anti-Uwe Boll post? For whatever reason you're taking all of this very personally. Am I pleased when something MNS fails? Absolutely. Why? I've been cranky and angry at M. Night ever since I had to sit through the meglomaniacal Lady in the Water. Reading this review, I was at first disappointed that there weren't more details about exactly why it sucked, and I wanted all kinds of spoilers to completely neutralize any curiosity I have (and I do have a little based on the suicide scenes from the commercials).

  • June 13, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Holly shit! Tim Russert just passed away!

    by bobjustbob

    RIP.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:03 p.m. CST

    Rant continued

    by Trazadone

    Lady in the Water is M. Night revealing his own meglomania with insultingly bad art. I recommend avoiding it, unless you want to get angry.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    Trazadone

    by DennisMM

    The "MNS's character saves the world" subplot is exactly why "Lady in the Water" is the only MNS film I haven't seen. I decided to wait for DVD, then heard of his immense egotism in playing the part and decided against it. "The Happening" may well be the second MNS film I won't see even free on cable.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Would you care for some of my GOOGY GOOGY?

    by Cletus Van Damme

    Shamma lamma whatnow?

  • June 13, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    The Douchening

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    MNS is an egotistical douchebag, Ebert has officially lost all credibility (thumbs up to this turd and KOTCS), Holland is up 3-1 on France and the Celtics had the greatest comeback in NBA finals history. And I'm hungover.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:27 p.m. CST

    This Movies Got Such Bad Hype

    by pr1c3y

    That it will be impossible to avoid like Speed 2 Cruise Control

  • June 13, 2008, 3:30 p.m. CST

    You know, this is what I think:

    by Lobanhaki

    <br>He's just an entertainer. If he's a megalomaniac, narcissistic, and/or arrogant, your comment will do precisely dick to change that, and I'm not sure hating him will do much good for you, in any case.</br> <br>If you don't like his movies, just have nothing to do with them. I don't know know what compels people to comment endlessly on filmmakers and films they don't like. If I think something's crap I go elsewhere, and I find what I love, and watch that.</br> <br>Uwe Boll never has made a movie worth a crap. But do you know what? I really don't dwell on the talentless, opportunistic fuck. I move on, and I watch what I like.</br>

  • June 13, 2008, 3:38 p.m. CST

    Willis, PowerRing....

    by Darth Macchio

    ..and on that you are absolutely correct. I also wondered why it took such an effort to take out the serial killer home invader guy. He should have easily been able to crush the guy's chest in a bear hug much less actually have trouble putting him in some type of sleeper hold if he can bench near half a ton.<p>Of course, it could be argued that he was unsure and unfamiliar with his own newfound strength and basically had "stage fright" in terms of using his "abilities". Or that maybe the killer-guy was a "larger than life" (aka somewhat supernatural) villain in a similar vein as Mr. Glass or Willis's character. That's reaching of course and shouldn't be necessary to any large extent on a relatively logical film. And that degree of reaching is what supports or shatters our suspension of disbelief. I didn't have trouble with the logical flaws in Unbreakable but I could not get past water-alergic Aliens invading a planet that is practically ALL water. Water vapor in the air, everywhere. They'd barely survive the freakin dessert but they're in Pennsylvania??<p>And, why do Aliens never wear god damn clothes? Always naked in movies! For Chrissakes will you cover yourself!!!<p>I wasn't attempting to defend Shamalyan himself (who would) or his logic as a writer but more defending the story of Unbreakable which I do like a lot.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Lobanhaki and memories-of-murder

    by Trazadone

    You obviously miss the point of aintitcoolnews. This is where fans of movies go to praise and bitch about things. If MNS is going to create and promote a film based on his shitty track record, I have every right to comment on it. Memories-Of-Murder, for future reference, you don't say "he mized his wish to be an actor and CASTED himself" you say "cast himself". I'm not trying to be a dick, I just thought you would want to know. It's kind of like walking around all day with snot on your face - you would want someone to tell you, right?

  • June 13, 2008, 3:42 p.m. CST

    So this is how a directing career dies...

    by Biggie Kaiju

    I just saw this piece of shit. Christ; it is truly awful. It's so bad, it makes Sixth Sense/Unbreakable/Signs retroactively worse. I was a BIG M. Night fan, but that's three turds in a row. SPOILER WARNING, IF IT'S POSSIBLE TO SPOIL SOMETHING THAT'S ALREADY ROTTEN. Marky Mark's wimpy science teacher, Zooey's space cadet wife character, and a cute little girl run from killer wind, presumably summoned by the killer field grass. This was a serious, played-straight movie about something so hilariously ridiculous that you can only watch this film in silence, mouth agape, wondering who in the blue Hell gave this a green light. It was M. Night's usual; dead serious, with random oddball jokes. Lots of whispering. More violins. But it was educational. I didn't know plants could communicate and coordinate their evolutionary leap since they can't run from us and we're mean. That is the premise, folks. BIG SPOILER The finale is Marky Mark and Zooey separated in separate buildings while the suicide winds are raging. Marky whines that he doesn't want to die alone, and steps outside. So does she. They embrace, and the power of their love causes the wind to stop, and the entire event to end. It was all our negativity that caused this, as Marky's mood ring explains. Are you shaking your head in disbelief yet? Oh, and the plants were nice enough to make this a warning; so we'd better not tear M. Night's ass out... Wait a minute. I just figured this out. The central conceit is be nice and happy and positive and the maple trees won't make you stick a fork in a light socket. I think M. Night is trying to comment on his critics again; we should smile and enjoy life (and his brilliant movies) and all will be right with the world. Don't be negative and critical. Jesus H. What a load of shit. Here's your fuckin' negativity, you one-trick prick; Betty Buckley, in a short role as a loner at a farmhouse, stinks up the screen with overacting that leaves the entire set dangling from her lips as she chews ravenously. And for all the R-rated hype, it was light on the gore; not much payoff on the dude-lays-down-to-get-mulched scene. Zooey was gorgeous as always (a three-way with her and Lizzy Caplan would be more than a slice of fried gold; it would be the whole... uh... gold.) I digress. Avoid this cinematic atrocity at all costs. Sorry for the incoherent rant, guys. But my boy let me down again. It's officially time to wonder what all the fuss was about. A damn shame, because he had a lot of potential. A lot. I guess pride does goeth before the fall.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST

    ^^^^Naked aliens...^^^^

    by The Dum Guy

    Was it the movie Undead (aliens cause zombie outbreak) that had a naked alien appear at the beggining of the movie and then apologize for it later?

  • June 13, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    You think I was complaining? Hell no, I'm ecstatic. In case you haven't heard, I'm half Dutch. So being up 4-1 on France is fantastic. Go orange!

  • June 13, 2008, 3:50 p.m. CST

    Biggie Kaiju

    by bobjustbob

    Wow. Just wow.

  • June 13, 2008, 3:54 p.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by Trazadone

    "as if Shymalan had casted himself in bronze", That's really funny =) Actually I bet MNS would like to cast himself in bronze!

  • June 13, 2008, 3:57 p.m. CST

    Trazadone ...

    by DennisMM

    Hate to say it, 'cos I mean no harm, but when an item is created by pouring motel metal into a mold, the item is "cast." Thus, "cast iron." Again, no harm intended, but as the topic was under discussion I thought I'd point it out. Of course, up above I couldn't spell "Indian" so I'm obviously a goof of another sort.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:02 p.m. CST

    M-o-M

    by DennisMM

    Thanks for the different POV on MNS as actor. I thought he was fairly capable in "Signs," but that was a two-minute role broken into several scenes. A jump to the level of his part in "LitW" may have been overreaching, if for reasons other than I saw.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST

    M-o-M

    by DennisMM

    I'm not disagreeing with you, but "casted" isn't a word in the English language. "Cast" is the verb for both types of activity, modified by a variety of words - will, did, etc., to create past, present and future tenses. In present tense you can say "casting," but "casted" is wrong no matter the use. And I'll shut up about this now.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:10 p.m. CST

    clarification

    by DennisMM

    it's not a formal word in English, though it's come to be used. when it is used, it's used to describe the act of shaping physical objects with a mold.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Damn You Michael Bay

    by MCMLXXVI

    Damn You Michael Bay

  • June 13, 2008, 4:17 p.m. CST

    M-o-M

    by DennisMM

    Thanks again about MNS the actor. I am aware of "Praying with Anger" and "Wide Awake." I've even seen "Wide Awake." Like so many things they get shoved back into the closets of memory.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:17 p.m. CST

    Unfortunately Capone's absolutely right

    by Freakemovie

    Had to see this movie for work last week. It's truly, obviously bad. I almost want other people to see it just because the badness is so obvious and plentiful that it would be fun to talk about. And I really liked Signs and Unbreakable, too.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:18 p.m. CST

    When a review (from the Detroit News) states

    by skimn

    "There are so many things wrong with this movie -- the story, the acting, the characters, the truly gratuitous violence, even the camera shots -- that it's hard to know where to begin"...you have to wonder if The Sixth Sense was truly a glitch.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Okay, who has seen The Incredible Hulk and is it any good?

    by Trazadone

    I respect the fanboy reports more than any others.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:28 p.m. CST

    Heh, I had the same reaction to FINAL DESTINATION

    by Drath

    That movie is camp gold--a far better comedy than a horror movie, and the fact that anyone says its scary just goes to show how shit-suckingly awful the horror genre really is.

  • June 13, 2008, 4:46 p.m. CST

    Biggie Kaiju, While I Am Shaking My Head

    by kevinwillis.net

    This isn't really a spoiler, as it's exactly what I expected: "It was all our negativity that caused this, as Marky's mood ring explains. Are you shaking your head in disbelief yet?"

  • June 13, 2008, 4:46 p.m. CST

    I Am Going to See this on DVD

    by kevinwillis.net

    There are plenty of movies that I like that most people I know didn't like, or hated. This might be one of those, but my experience with watching M. Night In The Water suggests that it probably won't be one of those.

  • June 13, 2008, 5 p.m. CST

    Stay far, far away from The Happening....

    by Kirbymanly

    Just got back from it. It is everything Capone says it is and then some. After the first ten minutes I was laughing through the entire film. Marky Mark speaks in an extremely femme voice in this film (and even comments on a male student's good looks) to the point where it's distracting. Zooey, though I love looking at her, just seems lost. Betty Buckley gets the award for the best failed Piper Laurie impersonation. And I don't even know where to begin about the botonist (or whatever he was) and his speech about how good hot dogs are.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:03 p.m. CST

    You Just Sold A Ticket

    by brakula

    Wow something this bad must be worth seeing... With a group of drunk/stoned people that will laugh with me. I'm in.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:10 p.m. CST

    Also, is there any hope for AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER?

    by Drath

    That series is awesome, and movies based on it could be Harry Potter meets Crouching Tiger (amazingly no one has said that in marketing, possibly because no one seems to remember Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon and because the only things anyone compares anything to now is Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Matrix, and Lord of the Rings--they've even stopped Die Hard on a Fillintheblank!!!). But anyway, I was hoping against hope that a script NOT written by Shyamalan would make the difference, but it sounds like he's really not breaking any new ground as a director and the performances he's getting are all the same morbid sleepwalking variety. While AVATAR could be that new ground he should have started breaking after The Village and long before now, I'm afraid he'll turn the adventures of Aang into another of his plodding trick-camera obsessesd wannabee horror shlock messes! Nothing in his resume suggests he can bring us the next Lord of the Rings, or even the next Harry Potter. Even Ang Lee had Crouching Tiger to suggest some potential before he ruined everything with the dream-like Hulk. Is it too late to get another director onto the AIRBENDER franchise? Hell, even Andrew Adamson could probably deliver a better AIRBENDER than Shyamalan now. To me this is scarier than these freaky suicides in the Happening.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST

    I Also So Lady in the Water on DVD

    by kevinwillis.net

    I was glad I didn't spend real money on it. I probably would have enjoyed Ang Lee's Hulk more if I hadn't plunked down good money to see it in the theater. It just did not work for me, and his role, plus the obvious "critics are evil" vibe . . . This may be better. I'll have to wait until I see it, I guess.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:19 p.m. CST

    THIS MOVIE LOOKS LIKE TEN TONS OF SH*T!

    by eoneon

    WOW,THIS LOOKS REALLLLLLY BADDDDD! I FEEL ASHAMED FOR WASTING MY MONEY ON THE VILLAGE SOME YEARS AGO,BOY WHAT A STINKFEST! SIGNS WAS ACTUALLY SCARY,BUT THE WHOLE WATER WEAKNESS ENDING AND RELIGIOUS ALLEGORY WAS CRAP. UNBREAKABLE WAS PRETTY COOL IN PARTS AND THE SIXTH SENSE WAS A GOOD MOVIE ALBEIT A ONE TRICK PONY.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    As an actor Shyamalan wasn't doing anyone any favors

    by drewlicious

    He seems to be constantly straining for emotion and you see the effort, that's not good.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Ok so we have heard it blows dry heaving ammounts of jiz...

    by britney spears rusted clit ring

    But most of us will see it anyway. I know I will. gurrrrp.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Ok so we have heard it blows dry heaving amounts of jiz...

    by britney spears rusted clit ring

    But most of us will see it anyway. I know I will. gurrrrp.

  • June 13, 2008, 5:37 p.m. CST

    I've seen both

    by Cpt. Arnoldo

    Hulk is the better flick, but still far from great. 7/10, it's enjoyable and good for what it is. The Happening is flawed in every sense but still I fucking dug it. Terrible script, acting and annoying plot bullshit, but underneath that the atmosphere is there and it's damned intense and frightening. Fuck all the comic relief, too, jesus! Kills the intensity. 6/10

  • June 13, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Memories of Murder

    by pdennett316

    re film makers pedigree..... <p> Not always a good place to judge current movies from, James Cameron started with Pirhana 2....would you have gone to see Terminator after having seen that? <p> I kid though, I agree there's a ton of bandwagon jumping on AICN when it comes to criticising a movie/director. But I must disagree on the 'turn the brain off' type of movie - I've had a lot of fun watching some braindead crap over the years. Many of the horror movies I've seen fall into that category, and I've loved a lot of them. Action flicks too. Not every movie has to have me considering an issue or examining my feelings kin order to be worthy of watching, you know? <p> Transformers is the prime example, I really liked it because it was what it was. Come now, you must have your own guilty pleasures surely?

  • June 13, 2008, 5:57 p.m. CST

    pdennett316

    by skimn

    Oh gosh..you've done it now....

  • June 13, 2008, 5:58 p.m. CST

    MY GERANIUMS ARE LOOKING AT ME FUNNY!

    by alice 13

    how come the trees dont kill dogs if dogs are always peeing on them?

  • June 13, 2008, 6:10 p.m. CST

    I'm about to weed my yard

    by bobjustbob

    Should I be worried?

  • June 13, 2008, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Quiet with the plant stuff

    by skimn

    or you'll wake Prof. Pretorious!

  • June 13, 2008, 6:27 p.m. CST

    I guess I can't say I'm surprised

    by palooka_boy

    Although I was hoping this movie would be enjoyable. I do appreciate the review, Cap. I'll save my money now.

  • June 13, 2008, 6:32 p.m. CST

    Pssssst....AICN talkbackers.

    by mrfan

    I am typing this in my computer room. I have the shades pulled down and am in the dark. I used to have a cactus and now it has disappeared. Should I be worried?

  • June 13, 2008, 6:39 p.m. CST

    Capone, don't sugarcoat.

    by XxSoulFlyxX

    Tell us how you really feel about it.

  • June 13, 2008, 6:57 p.m. CST

    Shia meet Shyamalan, Shyamalan meet Shia

    by drewlicious

    Come on, you know its inevitable.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    I went in with high expectations

    by CherryValance

    because I read the headline this morning and thought you actually did love it. I usually agree with your reviews so I was psyched. I didn't click on it because I wanted to stay away from spoilers. LOL </p> Well anyway, I thought it was pretty good watching it, but I can't actually disagree with too many of your points. Lots of it didn't seem like a Shyamalan movie. And I do consider myself a fan of his. I almost got the feeling that it was half a movie. Because it was going in the right direction but you're right, they accepted that explanation too easily. And what's worse is that I actually think that what's happening in The Happening has been happening in this country for a while. You should see my backyard. So I thought that as the movie went on we were going to find out that that's not what's been happening. And then when I saw the French people I thought there was going to be another hour of it that would fix the whole thing. I don't really know what happened. I don't understand why Leguizamo had such a small role. Or what was up with Deschanel. That was just weird. Anyway, you're right. Except re: talking to the tree. I enjoyed that scene.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:48 p.m. CST

    Personal hate

    by MrFloppy

    I think it's a trend to hate Shy, personal hate I'd say. I really love Sense, Unbreakable, Signs and The Village. Lady in the Water was still good (he's a very good director). But this one is horrible. Looks like it was directed (except for a few scenes) by someone else. I think it's because the pressure he felt for doing a crowd pleaser films where he failed. There wasn't a strong character story like on Sense, and the rest, the plot goes nowhere (I love the premise) and there are a couple of stupid characters (the military guy, the "hot-dog" guy) with stupid lines to say. Please Shy, forget all that morons that hate you for your ego (I'd say that's not ego, it's simple believing in what you do) and do personal movies again, I don't want to see Airbender.

  • June 13, 2008, 7:56 p.m. CST

    Wes Anderson had a similar career arc going

    by Garbageman33

    Two brilliant movies right out of the gate. Followed by one that was too ambitious and didn't really work. And then one that was just plain bad. But Wes redeemed himself with Darjeeling Limited. And M Night appears to be continuing his freefall.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:06 p.m. CST

    Wes Anderson = M. Night S.?

    by The Dum Guy

    I thought Tennenbaums was more enjoyable than Bottle Rocket and/or Rushmore. Life Aquatic was still entertaining, and funny. I thought Darjeeling was alright, but to compare anyone of those movies to the slate MNS has brought us is absurd.<br><br>His first two movies was alright, Signs had some good stuff, but by the end I thought the whole story wasn't about an alien attack but about a man finding faith in God via an alien attack. Lady in the Water made me want to go drown myself because of it's last half hour... and I still haven't seen the Happening, maybe sometime.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:21 p.m. CST

    Damn...

    by InspectorDoppler

    The most insane part is, this all just makes me want to see it even more...

  • June 13, 2008, 9:23 p.m. CST

    This was the worst kind of movie...

    by shartron

    Boring. If you can believe Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist then Mark Wahlberg IS a science teacher. He's just so sensitive, too. The lapses in judgement by Leguizamo's character are laughable. Would you save your child or your wife first? There are maybe 2 scenes that will make you jump and Betty Buckley is a freaking nutcase. It's like she came in from another film. And don't forget this was written, produced AND directed by Shyamalan. Like he's Eastwood or something. Overall 4.5/10

  • June 13, 2008, 9:28 p.m. CST

    Goodbye...

    by shartron

    Tim Russert and Charlie Jones. Two true professionals.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:28 p.m. CST

    YES, IT'S THAT BAD.

    by cinemixtape.com

    Holy hell was this movie awful. Wahlberg's performance is the best thing about the movie and he's terrible. Not scary, not suspenseful, not funny, not anything but shit dialogue and bad performances.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:31 p.m. CST

    "Hot dogs have a cool shape... and protein."

    by cinemixtape.com

    Actual quote from this movie.

  • June 13, 2008, 9:34 p.m. CST

    When Marky Mark says "come on" in the house...

    by shartron

    all I could think of was "Come on, come on, feel it, feel it!"

  • June 13, 2008, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Sooooo, is Moriarty still gonna post his review?

    by Lyghthouse

    I'd love to read what he thinks about it.

  • June 13, 2008, 11:07 p.m. CST

    AMBUSH ON HOTH

    by Lucifer Haywood

    Han comes back from rescuing Luke to find Chewie sucking Leia's 9 inch cock on the Falcon. He then commits hari kari with Luke's lightsaber and is reborn an archaeologist in the early 20th century. FANTASTIC!

  • June 13, 2008, 11:09 p.m. CST

    What, no "little girls" "naked in the shower"?

    by BurnHollywood

    For my money, still the ultimate Harryism...

  • June 14, 2008, 12:37 a.m. CST

    This is Nothing Like Wes Anderson

    by grungies

    Wes Anderson hasn't really made a bad movie yet.

  • June 14, 2008, 12:41 a.m. CST

    JACKPUMPKINHEAD!!

    by batzilla

    RIGHT ON MAN!! I completely agree with you 100%! I too have always been blown away WHY anyone thought that M.Night was anything other than a HACK and a DOUCHE BAG! I knew, like you, from day one that this guy was worthless and could not, for the LIFE OF ME, understand all the hype and WHY so many people seemed to think he was this awesome new talent. M.Night has ALWAYS sucked!

  • June 14, 2008, 1:06 a.m. CST

    Just saw it and makes filmmakers like Eli Roth look like a geniu

    by TooWhippy

    I just got back from seeing this. I've read for two days how bad this thing is and I was curious. While watching this I kept thinking the actors were going to break out in laughter like this was a movie of bad performance out takes or something. I've never seen a more "phoned-in" performance by good actors in my life. Night's direction usually is somewhat interesting. It really was like a student filmmaker's first attempt at storytelling. Amateur hour in every way. He must have not had anyone read this script before they shot it? I actually feel sad for Night. To fall so far. I still think "The sixth sense" and "Unbreakable" are good movies. I don't know how he can come back from this. Sad.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:06 a.m. CST

    saw it - this movie is a joke

    by geraldbeans

    "We have to outrun the wind!" What a joke

  • June 14, 2008, 1:22 a.m. CST

    I'm probably the only one who liked it

    by jabbayoda

    And fuck anyone who has something to say about it.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:52 a.m. CST

    HORRIBLE

    by 3rdrate

    Incredibly, it is MORE entertaining to watch Jake Gyllenhal literally running from the "cold" in The Day After Tomorrow than it is to watch Wahlberg running from the wind. Jesus.

  • June 14, 2008, 2:33 a.m. CST

    This is bad on a mythical level

    by sleepyvillain

    One thing it has going for it though is that its "funny" bad not "bad" bad. This is the funniest movie I've seen in a long time. Right from the very beginning to the very end I was loling. There are so many "good" scenes in this

  • June 14, 2008, 3:03 a.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    Lifeforce is great! But I can't ever see Steve Railsback as anything other than Charlie Manson.<br><br> So to me Lifeforce will always be the story of Charlie Manson vs a hot naked space vampire.

  • June 14, 2008, 3:10 a.m. CST

    by PhxMonsterGuy

    Saw it today. Unfortunately it was my friend's turn to pic the film and she gave thumbs down to my suggestion of the Hulk and picked this steaming turd instead. WTF was M.Night thinking? Or smoking, snorting or injecting when he made this film? Why is everyone in slo-mo as their world is falling apart? So many things in this film made no fucking sense like the train stopping in the middle of nowhere and Marky Mark is the only one who thinks to go up to the conductor to ask what's going on? The film wasn't suspenseful, although I was hoping the little girl would get infected and ram the pic of her parents up her twat. Now that would have been entertaining.

  • June 14, 2008, 3:31 a.m. CST

    LIFEFORCE is one of my guilty pleasures too

    by Big Dumb Ape

    Memories of Murder, good pick! For a guilty pleasure flick, how do you top a movie about a naked busty vampire chick running all over London? And the best thing about LIFEFORCE is that everything...and I do mean everything, right from the opening copy that instantly tells you it's going to be a total cheesefest...feels like it was made up on the fly. I swear, LIFEFORCE has the most insane internal story logic going, where people just pull lines and things out of their ass simply to propel the plot along to the next moment.<p>My favorite laugh out loud moment in LIFEFORCE is late in the movie when Dr. Fallada (the big British brain at the British version of NASA, which in and of itself becomes funny) frantically "explains" the vampires to Colin Firth with a monologue that basically starts like "While you've been searching for the girl, based on my experiments I've figured out what happens when we die..." LIFEFORCE is just a gonzo film experience. Another guilty pleasure classic from a time when movies dared to be THAT stupid on a big budget.

  • June 14, 2008, 3:40 a.m. CST

    So I wasn't planning on seeing this....

    by andrew coleman

    But at the theater I went to tonight this was SOLD OUT. I didn't care I saw Hulk which fucking kicked ass btw. But I was confused because I heard it blew serious ass. The line for the movie was like all couples so I guess the "It's scary and it's R rated" advertising worked so far. Reading these posts though I kind of want to see this now. I really enjoy bad movies they make me smile. So this will actually get my like 8 or 10 bucks.

  • June 14, 2008, 4:02 a.m. CST

    WHY MOVIES GODS? WHY?

    by Film.guy.Pete

    If M.Night is going to movie why can't it be original? Why does it always have to be a surprise at the end and make the movie SHIT! The real shocker is that people are letting directors w/ their heads' up their asses still make movies.

  • June 14, 2008, 5:31 a.m. CST

    The premise of this movie is solid; but the execution?

    by Prof. Pop-Cult

    I like the premise -- there's a solid real scientific basis for it. But from the early reviews of the final film, it sounds like M. Night totally blew the execution of this cool idea.

  • June 14, 2008, 6:34 a.m. CST

    by Wind_Danzer

    To the guy that claimed that peace and love killed the toxin, you have it wrong. If you noticed the time when Marky Mark went outside to meet up with his wife and then paid attention to the next segment where the newscaster said that the toxin died off, you would have seen the 1/2 hour difference. I guess I'll be in the minority here. I liked this movie even with the flaws in the B acting. The concept was cool, the way it was filmed was done well and the music added a eerie touch. At least there wasn't much of a twist to watch for.

  • June 14, 2008, 6:36 a.m. CST

    insert batman and poison ivy

    by cloudrider`

    and it would be better. <p> this earth's spirit(gaia) taking revenge on human has been done in comic books. hollywood is late into the concept.

  • June 14, 2008, 7:17 a.m. CST

    ***SPOILER*** I have a question...

    by Otter

    Since WHEN can a lion pull a live man's arms out of its sockets??????

  • June 14, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by cloudrider`

    while i agree that a director has to first and foremost make the movie for himself and for others second, sometimes it pays just to listen. once you've tasted success, it's easy to lose your objective. you said the happening is a failure precisely becuase m.night catered to the studio. how do you explain the failure of his lady in the water then? did studio interfere then, or did they let him be? i'm m.night's fan as well, but you're really turning into an apologist. <p> no one working in hollywood(except maybe orson welles that one time) has 100% full control of projects. it's always going to be a constant struggle between art and commerce, and you just have to adapt to walking that tightrope. if other directors have managed to work within the system and churned out great films, then m.night's not gonna get special treatment when he fails.

  • June 14, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    Oh Lord

    by spix14

    This movie was awful. The acting was like something out of a high school play, and Markie Mark and everyone else in this movie delivered their lines like they'd been watching too much Dane Cook. I can only imagine every line in the script had a question mark after it. I'll watch a bad movie just to see it but oh god, you will laugh. And stare. And shake your head in disbelief.

  • June 14, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    But Harry...

    by oaser

    Said he loved this script and that this was going to be a fantastic movie. I'm losing my faith in the big guy...he loved Speed Racer, Godzilla, and this piece of poop. I know he doesn't have to prove anything, but I need some reassurance that he won't lead us to the punch anymore.

  • June 14, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    the hating is a bit much though

    by cloudrider`

    i sure hope it's not jealousy, or gasp! envy. <p> the amount of bile spew here is really out of proporsition, and the excuse downright stupid. it's always 'he's arrogant!','he casts himself!','egomaniac!', blablablablaaa... <p> let me tell you, if you dont have an ego you'll make a lousy filmmaker. just becuase most of the big guns(jackson, spielberg, cameron, etc.) never cast themselves as the savious of humanity in their films, don't them less egotistical. they just conduct themselves better in public. ok, in cameron's case, maybe not so much. still... <p> i'd take an artist with big ego over an artist who sells his soul for a quick buck. if you want to chastise someone, look no further than spielberg. that man is a chameleon i tell you. here's a man who can switch into a hack mode whenever he goddamn pleases. first he worked with michael bay BY CHOICE, then that crystal skull horseshit. there's no bigger sellout on earth at the moment.

  • June 14, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by cloudrider`

    whatever you or i think may think of LITW, it IS a failure, both box office & critical consensus wise - which is really the only two ways to measure a movie's success nowadays. i cant help but think that in this case studio interference might actually help. <p> but should he be mocked though, when he had the guts to go all the way with his vision like devil may care? or should he be commanded, at the very least for trying? i agree with you that too often the geeks here would rather reward the hacks with box office returns, than give a half ass chance to real directors. <p> and crystal skull made me want to commit sepukku. but i remembered that darkknight is around the corner, and i have to stay alive at least that much longer. spielberg that lucky bastard. you almost have my death on your conscience.

  • June 14, 2008, 9:34 a.m. CST

    The new TV spots are pitiful

    by Iowa Snot Client

    Quick glimpses of every death in the film -- which have all been mentioned in the reviews -- and the tease that this is M Night's "first R-rated movie!" It's Country Hostel!

  • June 14, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    I usually don't like or agree with AICN reviews, but...

    by Pdorwick

    ...you've absolutely nailed it with this one. If the mainstream media reviews were half as good as yours I wouldn't have wasted $13 on this absolute piece of trash. You've perfectly encapsulated what's is wrong with this poor, poor excuse of a movie. I'm what some might call an M. Night apologist (I didn't mind "Lady In The Water" at all) and have always given him more than the benefit of the doubt, defending him against all comers.<br><br>...but not this time. Good work.

  • June 14, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    what we need is a new batch of geeks

    by cloudrider`

    stevie, cameron, lucas, zemeckis made their genre greats when they were just starting out. they were new to the scene, hence fearless; and they were naive and clueless enough to the new technology that they were willing to try out anything. <p> these days... they've been struck numb, by having too much success, by knowing every little thing that goes on to creating an effect. add family and their own kids in, and they can't risk making something that would offend their sensibilities. <p> the new blood is our only hope. someone who's a geek at heart, full of passion, but has never been on the spotlight - like the wachowski when they made the 1st martrix or jackson post the frighteners.

  • June 14, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    long talk abck posts...

    by saddael

    make me lose attenti...ohh look its Madonna!

  • June 14, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    The Crappening

    by Lurker Johnson

    Saw this at the Starlight 6 in ATL. <p>AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!<p>Seriously, I'm not a hater, but this movie BLOWS!<p>It's like a salt water enema without the reach-around.

  • June 14, 2008, 11:18 a.m. CST

    cloudrider

    by Lurker Johnson

    Have you seen it?<p>It ain't Happening...

  • June 14, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    MOM

    by pdennett316

    So Lifeforce is less stupid than Transformers? Really?? <p> You need to be off your tits on something to glean ANYTHING from Lifeforce. That movie was messed up. I've gotta know, in what way is Transformers stupid? Thats a fairly broad term.

  • June 14, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    you said it, cloudrider

    by biginjapants

    Somewhere out there, someone is working on a great script... I read M.Night's script for "Labor of Love" the other day, which I gather he wrote before The Sixth Sense. Ouch. Anyone who needs proof that was a fluke, look no further.

  • June 14, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Hey, Cinema Virtusos Art Fags...

    by Ambush_Bug

    ...this guy parlayed his ENTIRE career of of his first hit, The Sixth Sense. Everything after that was shit - and don't even fucking get me started on the drek that was Unbreakable. Any REAL writer could have compressed that entire movie into the first 20-30 minutes of a *real* screenplay.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Otter

    by MrD

    Since a chimpanzee is able to rip a man's head clean off his shoulders. These a strong beasts. Now, I wonder, do you also question the ridiculous easy with which limbs and heads are torn and chopped in other horror fims?

  • June 14, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    pdennett316

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    I'll take this one since I hate that movie with the fiery passion of 1,000 suns going supernova.<br><br> Here's just a few for you off the top of my head.<br><br> They track the Beef down using Ebay. 2 ton robots stomping around in a garden and behaving like the 3 Stooges. Bumblebee pissing on Turturro. They track the Beef down using Ebay. The horrible horrible masterbation jokes. Mountain Dew machine robot. They track the Beef down using Ebay. Optimus Prime hanging underneath a bridge after being chased instead of, oh I don't know, FUCKING TRANSFORMING INTO A TRUCK AND THEN HIDING WITH HIS LIGHTS OFF?! Oh, and they track The Beef down using Ebay.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    i saw the happening and the hulk yesterday

    by GavinVanDraven

    the hulk was all i could have hoped for. my girlfriend watched all of the m. night movies and the ang lee hulk to get hyped up for the new stuff. the new hulk is %100 better than ang lee's hulk. the happening is.... awful. just awful.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    Lady in the Water was his comeback

    by grungies

    That was a good movie, despite what people tell me I should think. The Happening...is an unintentional comedy.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    the sixth sense

    by GavinVanDraven

    possibly one of the best movies about ghost ever made.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    unbreakable

    by GavinVanDraven

    absolutely brilliant, its the comic book origin story of a "real life" hero. masterful twist ending.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    signs

    by GavinVanDraven

    again, brilliance. the humor and emotion is what makes this movie stand with the others. logic not withstanding.

  • June 14, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    the villiage

    by GavinVanDraven

    would have done better if marketed as a period piece romance, not a horror story. those in control use fear to protect us... and by avoiding evil, we create our own. a great film, sold to the wrong crowd. the twist comes to early though, and you feel cheated because you had too much time to let it sink in. the ending is sloppy. this was the first indication of m. night slipping. IMHO

  • June 14, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    lady in the water

    by GavinVanDraven

    did you make this shit up as you went along? yes. did any of it make any sense? no. my friend, you shat the bed. you've become an egomaniac. you write yourself into the movie as the savior of mankind. this movie made me lose all respect for you m. night shame a liar

  • June 14, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    the happening

    by GavinVanDraven

    ok. just stop. stop it. stop. STOP! not a single believable performance. the twist comes in the first act... people running away from the wind. THE WIND! plot devices that go nowhere. mood rings? what happened to the bees? what was the point? poor marky mark, having to apologize to a fake plant. say science, or scientific one more time Mark, cuz it makes you sound scientific. this was the most unintentionally funny movie ever. when did suicide become comical? oh yeah, when you made career suicide by making this film. nice avatar backpack little girl...... throw some V-JOLT on that plant and run!!!!!

  • June 14, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    m. night.... heres your report card.

    by GavinVanDraven

    Sixth Sense A+, Unbeakable A-, Signs A, The Villiage C, Lady in the Water D, The Happening E.... it appears your grades are slipping....

  • June 14, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    M Night IS the next Spielberg....after KOTCS

    by ribbitking

    I'd be looking for pods making alien clones around Spielberg, Lucas, and M Night's homes. BTW, this movie will make a great drinking game if you drink every time someone says 'happen' or 'happening'... though you might die of alcohol poisoning.

  • June 14, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    by awepittance

    im surprised more unbreakable fans dont appreciate Lady in the Water. I think the movies are extremely similar to eachother in tone and style. the concept is is comparable also.

  • June 14, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Great Film

    by lucky slevin

    I don't understand why it was so hard to appreciate this movie. It was so damn creepy. It was like a modern day Night of the Living Dead. It will hopefully be a landmark of film making in a decade or two.

  • June 14, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    by awepittance

    "I don't understand why it was so hard to appreciate this movie." bad script, bad acting, bad score, bad pacing, no tension, no thrills, all the most shocking scenes showing in the trailers, no surprises left.

  • June 14, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    awepittance, lucky slevin

    by long live the new chris

    lady in the water is trash. the happening is complete trash. that is enough out of both of you.

  • June 14, 2008, 3:42 p.m. CST

    Can you believe

    by rogueleader66

    I have never seen Unbreakable? Go figure, the worst part is I want to see it, it's just one of those movies that will take me forever to see I guess. Just like I have never seen *gulp* It's A Wonderful Life, I still can't believe that one myself.

  • June 14, 2008, 3:54 p.m. CST

    he WAS great ... at one time.

    by GavinVanDraven

    i just don't know what happened. sixth sense and signs creeped me the fuck out. whats happening to you?

  • June 14, 2008, 4:04 p.m. CST

    Memories-Of-Murder

    by Dominic-Vobiscum

    I was going more for poetic hyperbole and alliteration (passion, thousand, suns, super). I freely admit that I know absolutely nothing about astronomy or astrophysics...or whatever it is that supernovas would fall under. =P

  • June 14, 2008, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Memories Of Fuckin' Murder

    by Al Swearengen

    Well, well. Here I stand thinking you done run out of town a long time ago. And yet I find you here, conversing amongst the hoopleheads. Gravity and the like.<P>You know, if I didn't know any fuckin' better, I'd say you were a M. Fuckin' Night Shyamalan apologist. That's right. You, Memories Of Murder, are a Shyamalan fuckin' apologist.

  • June 14, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Shyamalan fuckin' apologist???

    by Prossor

    well at least he has fuckin' opinions rather than the bubbling ooze of the rest of the fuckin' AICN herd.

  • June 14, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Memories Of Fuckin' Murder

    by Al Swearengen

    What the fuck does Michael Bay or his prick have to do with you bein' a fuckin' Shyamalan apologist?<P>You're defending Shymalan's shit. Why would you defend shit?

  • June 14, 2008, 7:27 p.m. CST

    It's Happening

    by XxSoulFlyxX

    Seen it, loved it and all you haters can go watch another Tim Burton, Tarentino, Michael Bay movie you all love so much. At least M. Night's stuff is original unlike anything in Hollywood. Go watch their remakes of a Snickers bar or something.

  • June 14, 2008, 8:33 p.m. CST

    yeah, it sucked

    by lucid dreamstate

    i just got back from the crappening. m. night took a shit with this one folks. wow. that was a really bad film. i am a major m. night fan (i love the village even if you guys think it sucked). fuck this movie.

  • June 14, 2008, 8:57 p.m. CST

    I Thought This Was Gonna Be a Remake of "What's Happening." Wher

    by bobbyjoe

    This may be the funniest movie I've ever seen. It's like those David Lynch characters with the funny, inexplicable line readings and behavior have somehow fallen into a Sci Fi Network z-grade environmental thriller. Marky Mark seems like he's channeling Mr. Rogers for no apparent reason; Zooey is apparently doing a parody of a loopy Margot Kidder character from the early 1980's; Betty Buckley is like she's satirizing Carrie's mom from DePalma's take on Steven King's "Carrie;" a soldier who seems to be auditioning for a big-screen version of "Gomer Pyle" shows up for a while for no apparent reason. It's like the Mr.-Rogers-meets-Margot-Kidder-meets-Carrie's-crazy-mom-meets-Gomer-Pyle-and-then-they-all-run-from-the-wind-and-a-bunch-of-plants-and-trees movie we've all been waiting for!

  • June 14, 2008, 9:03 p.m. CST

    BACKTRACKING.....

    by JaPra

    I've just returned home from this film, and aside from a couple of issues I have with Mark Walberg's acting choices, and the frankly strange and unnecessary twist Betty Buckley's character took, I thought the film was fantastic.<br><br> I believe that the idea of plants releasing toxins into the air that kills humans is no different then a flock of birds ganging up and deciding to take us out in Bodega Bay.<br><br>I wish John Leguiziamo had more screen time, his character really was great, and he would have made a better lead then Wahlberg. I really enjoyed this film, it was well done, and a return to form for M. Knight. I know I'll be in the minority with my praise of this film, but, well, so be it.<br><br>J.M. Prater

  • June 14, 2008, 9:14 p.m. CST

    Not as bad as I thought it would be, but....

    by The Dum Guy

    I was expecting to loathe, and to fair, it only bored me. I think I heard about four people clap at the end and one old lady exclaim "Oh God! Its one those 'Al Gore', the earth is going to kill us movies!"<br><br>But, then again I haven't had anyone tell me to my face that they liked it, in fact when I went to see Hulk the guy sitting next to me told me he saw Happening the night before. He now says he refers M. Night to Shamalong, because he feels he is nothing but a sham film maker.<br><br>NOT Nick Nolte

  • June 14, 2008, 10:28 p.m. CST

    Godawful

    by TerryMalloy

    So bad it was hilarious. I had a great time watching this piece of shit.

  • June 14, 2008, 11:16 p.m. CST

    I liked the happening

    by BrightEyes

    /no where near as bad as what people have said.

  • June 14, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Two questions for the science of the movie...

    by The Dum Guy

    (1)<br><br>If this causes people who have inherent self-defense mechanisms to reverse their polarities in a drastic counter measure type-science-thingy, then what happend to the people who were on the verge of suicide and/or completely crazy? Where was the scene of the guy/gal running thru the parks naked like they'd downed a quarter ounce of mushrooms and smoked a couple joints? Where were the crazy people turned happy-sane.<br><br><br>(2)<br><br>On a similar note, what about pot smokers? If a person smoked weed on a semi-regular basis, and the "grass" had slowly (its evolution, it doesn't happen overnight) changed it's chemical output, then wouldn't stoners either: A -- slowly become immune to the effects of the chemicals... or B -- been so high they wouldn't know that they should kill themselves.<br><br>I still want to see an adaptation to King's 'Cell'.

  • June 15, 2008, 12:15 a.m. CST

    well lessee

    by Prossor

    ive been doing really nothing, reading everyhting on this site, bought zombi 2 and full metal jacket, and cant wait for young stalin to arrive! should be a good read on the early life of our favorite georgian revolutionary!

  • June 15, 2008, 3:01 a.m. CST

    Wow. That movie was bad. Really really bad

    by versatol

    I really wanted to like this movie... I just knew that M Night wouldnt strike out with his third miss. But yeah, he did. It's that bad. This is career ending... and I think after this one, studios won't even highlight his name on his films anymore. I can't even see a major star like a Walberg, Giamanti, Gibson, or Willis coming to him again. Why did he make this stupid movie??? The fact that it barely hits the 90 minute mark makes me think he is just fucking with us. He wanted to make a shitty movie just so he could say "Ha! Gotcha bitch! You came and spent your 12 bucks on shit!" Shamalamshlong just punked everyone who paid admission for this shit

  • June 15, 2008, 5:53 a.m. CST

    SHIT SANDWICH!!!

    by Chewbacca

    Absolutely HORRIBLE! and yes, M-Night does a cameo...he's the guy behind the bush makin it shake. If U listen...closely...over the audience snoring...past the wind in the film (or is that a fart to accompany this sandwich?) U can hear M-night callin out "fuckin my career here boss..."

  • June 15, 2008, 7:07 a.m. CST

    Call me crazy, but I had a good time.

    by RicardoMontalban

    Yes, the acting was terrible and the plot was a bit off the charts, but it's sci-fi everyone. It's like watching an episode of "The Twilight Zone." Just suspend reality and have fun. Hey check out this awesome new movie blog at: thebitterproducer.blogspot.com

  • June 15, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    so poorly made, a boom mic can be seen in one shot

    by GLENN_THE_TOOL

    in the scene where Wahlberg, Deschanel, and the kids end up in this "model house" where all the food is fake. Wahlberg sits down at a table to talk to the little girl, and a boom mic can be briefly seen in the top of the frame. talk about a moviemaking no-no.

  • June 15, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    Glenn, it could just be that the projectionist...

    by JackIsLost

    did not properly crop the picture. This happens sometimes, I doubt it was a Shyamistake. Haven't seen it yet, so I can't say...

  • June 15, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    BEST SHYAMALAN MOVIE EVER....

    by versatol

    for me to poop on.

  • June 15, 2008, 4:09 p.m. CST

    www.mnightshyamalan.com is COMING SOON...

    by JackIsLost

    Oh my, there is no end to the unjustified hubris...

  • June 15, 2008, 5:35 p.m. CST

    'fucking my career here boss'

    by Prossor

    BLAM! 'stil fucking my career here boss!'

  • June 15, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Blam

    by Chewbacca

    lol...lets hope he runs away...grin.

  • June 15, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    MST3K could...

    by Wes_Reviews_

    ...do an entire season's worth of eps on this one movie. Each different, each hilarious.

  • June 15, 2008, 5:49 p.m. CST

    This film's box-office will drop 70% next weekend

    by Wes_Reviews_

    My prediction. Wait and see.

  • June 15, 2008, 7 p.m. CST

    Ha Ha you squirts

    by XxSoulFlyxX

    M. Night Shymalan's latest is far from the box office disaster some expected with a respectable $30.5 million opening.

  • June 15, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    What a Steaming Pile of Dog-shit...go kill yourself Shama-lama-d

    by Pumpkinjoe

    Good-Gravy... Where do I begin to explain the colon-clenching feeling I have from watching this putrid stream of optical diarrhea? Why is a cinematic mongoloid like Shama-lama-ding-dong still allowed to shit-out corn-riddled turds like this horrible, vomit-inducing heap of elephant crap? Is he special? Does he go around and suck every faggot cash-backer’s cock in Hollywood? Was he chosen by Ganesh to create monstrosities such as this? Has he been guzzling Seth Rogan’s dick? Is he secretly Jewish? Who knows. What I do know is that from beginning to end, this movie was a disaster. Mark Whalberg’s scenes were painful, as were Zooey Dechannel’s..which brings me to another point… I used to love Zooey, with her quirky ways and wacky, half-retarded acting, as well as being cute as button. She has always been set in rolls that accentuated her weirdness, in turn making her more lovable than she actually is. This movie ruined her image for me. Half the time she’s just staring blankly into space, the other half she’s spazzing-out, puking-out the worst dialogue this side of SHOWGIRLS. I am happy at one thing though; I finally came to grips with that fact that I really didn’t like Zooey as an actor after all…I just wanted to bend her over and ram her up that sweet poon of hers. Yeah, yeah, i know its’ pathetic, so fuck you and your mother asshole. So thank you Mr. Shama-lama-ding-dong, thank you for not only stealing a few hours away from my life that I will never get back (as well as the $10.50 I shelled out you fuckin‘ jack-off), thank you for ruining the image of my sweet Zooey forever. I hope you choke sucking on Seth Rogan’s cock you no-talent piece of shit.

  • June 15, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Yeah, right...

    by XxSoulFlyxX

    You didn't see it.

  • June 15, 2008, 7:26 p.m. CST

    This movie sucked, but at least I got a refund.

    by Super Rabbi

    There was a problem with the projector with about 15 minutes left of the movie, and everyone was given a refund.

  • June 15, 2008, 7:41 p.m. CST

    What are you, a fuckin Psychic XxsoulflyxX?

    by Pumpkinjoe

    Hey XxsoulflyxX, Who the fuck do you think you are you stupid ass bastard? Go back to your room junior, grab some kleenex, a large tub of jergens, and whack yourself off to sleep as you salivate over scenes of Markie Mark in Boogie Nights. Stay outta here you limp-dicked piece of shit, this place is for grown-ups. Dumb-ass, smug, retarded pieces of donkey-choad like yourself asshole make boards like this dreary. Hey asshole, please do the world a favor, Go fucking hang yourself.

  • June 15, 2008, 7:50 p.m. CST

    I Loooooovvvvvvveeeeeessss it too!!!

    by Markver1

    Funniest movie of 2008. I laughed out loud many times watching this movie. I know the death scenes aren't really supposed to be funny but they were just so ridiculous I couldn't hold it in. Anyone else hear the song "It's Raining Men" in your head when the workers were jumping off the building? Don't listen to all the crap people are saying about M. Night Shamawhatshisname. Not even close to being his best movie. Yeah, it's his worst. But, I was thoroughly entertained and you will be too you haters. ~Markie Mark

  • June 15, 2008, 8:01 p.m. CST

    I liked it!

    by CountryBoy

    (SPOLIERS!) Sure, some of the performances were awkward and some of the dialogue was clunky. But Shymalan's ALWAYS favored overly restrained acting, and had an odd ear for dialogue. Bruce Willis and Robin Wright Penn seemed to be practically sleepwalking through much of UNBREAKABLE, and SIGNS had numerous bizarre little speeches in it: the old lady spitting on the skateboards, the vomit/kiss story, the female Olympians conversation with the lady cop, the "define noises" attack plan... This was no worse than any of that. I think the two biggest faults the film had were the lack of real panic when the "attack" was discovered, and Wahlberg and Deschanel's continued marital whining as the world ended around them. But on the upside, the deaths were creative and interesting; the story was fast-paced; there was real tension as they splintered into smaller and smaller groups but the Happening kept happening; the humor was effective (the audience I saw it with laughed at the plastic plant, and I laughed out loud at the cheerful "You deserve this!" real estate sign); and though I knew the voice on the cell phone was Shyamalan's, it didn't occur to me till later how hilarious it is that his increasingly intrusive cameos have been curtailed all the way down to a plaintive "Hello?" that gets instantly hung up on: as if he's trying to atone for LADY IN THE WATER's hero/author role... And finally, I really liked the climax. I was totally caught up when Mrs. Jones smashed her head in the windows and the dreaded wind swirled through the curtains and the music shivered on the soundtrack... It wasn't a perfect movie, but I definitely enjoyed it. I'm glad I saw it, and when it comes on TNT or whatever I'll probably watch it again.

  • June 15, 2008, 8:52 p.m. CST

    Hey Pumkin Joe who likes to blow

    by XxSoulFlyxX

    What are you 12? Of course you are, you twillipated, flesh jelly umbilical cord rotted afterbirth who should actually have never been born and makes these boards stiff with your lying tongue and sorry ass witless comments.

  • June 15, 2008, 10:38 p.m. CST

    Punching Bag for critics AND fans

    by uVa

    This is what Shyamalan has become of late. And I can't for the life of me see why. The man is a breath of fresh air amidst a shitstorm of remakes and sequels. If The Happening was released under the name of a different director, you'd see an astronomical difference in the reviews.

  • June 15, 2008, 11:27 p.m. CST

    $30.5 Million this weekend

    by snitchseeker

    Budget: $57 million The Happening = profitable. I guess his career isn't dead after all.

  • June 16, 2008, 12:34 a.m. CST

    XxSoulFlyxX, get a grip you latent homesexual

    by Pumpkinjoe

    Wow! You can spell! That’s fantastic! I loved your comments junior, did you think of them up all yourself, hmmm? Did I make you mad? Did I offend you precious? "twillipated, flesh jelly umbilical cord rotted afterbirth who should actually have never been born" Man, you bring tears of pure joy and laughter to my eyes little one! Reminds me of junior high, your comments do, which makes sense as its' probably the highest grade completed by you! Reminds me a little of Ruffio when he was "dissin'" peter pan... You are a fucking joke! "witless comments" If you want a battle of wits, you are totally unarmed Nancy girl. You must REALLY have a thing for old Markie Mark! So, what do you do there at home in Butt-fuck Iowa? Live in mommy's basement? Wait til' she leaves to the supermarket so you can really get some "quality time" in with your pics of Markie? Stay off the boards you dickless piece of shit! No one wants you here! Your worthless, idiotic comebacks are sad and tired, give up! Your no-good, you can't fight back. I have nothing further to say, but knowing what I know about you so far, you probably will leave another scintillating, controversial, and "witty comeback, won't you? hahaha...sad. You bore me. "Arguing on the internet is like competing in the special Olympics…even

  • June 16, 2008, 12:37 a.m. CST

    SK229?

    by Pumpkinjoe

    You want some faggot? Bring it on!

  • June 16, 2008, 1 a.m. CST

    I don't care how

    by Stevie Grant

    well made this flick is: the "twist" is extra-special retarded. Not to mention, the scenario is a rip-off from a certain 80's novel that became a certain 80's flick... Pure idiocy.

  • June 16, 2008, 1:05 a.m. CST

    who here,

    by Stevie Grant

    doesn't get reminded of that South Park episode when the characters are literally running away from the wind "Two Days before the Day After Tomorrow" or whatever, when we all know the "twist"? This film is a complete joke. While I do not doubt it is well made, I will be very surprised if it overcomes the pure stupidity of the premise.

  • June 16, 2008, 1:14 a.m. CST

    wow, pumpkinjoe

    by snitchseeker

    people get crazy on these boards. im new here, but wow.

  • June 16, 2008, 2:15 a.m. CST

    If M. Night's name weren't on this...

    by Wes_Reviews_

    ...any studio in their right mind would've yanked it from their schedule, shelved it, ordered reshoots, and ultimately sent it direct-to-video where it rightly belongs. Edward D. Wood Jr. would've even taken his name off this turd, in favor of "Allen Smithee". And for the record, I've been a longtime M. Night fan up until Lady in the Water. My only hope with The Happening was that he make a movie that was at the very least better than Lady. That's ALL HE HAD TO DO, folks. And he delivered a film that was 100 times worse than Lady in the Water. How the hell do you manage that? Honestly!

  • June 16, 2008, 2:48 a.m. CST

    I liked it, too...

    by BurnHollywood

    Interesting plot, just felt like it was a rush-job, like Shyamalan was hauling ass to get it done while the "bees thing" was still relevant, and the sloppiness is evident in the clunky pacing, stilted dialogue and off-kilter acting. Still, hardly the worst of the year...that was that glittery, embarrassing shitstorm called "Speed Racer" ("See...it's a cartoon!" Yeah, I did see, and it still sucked ass).<p> I'm guessing all the negativity is due to the critics still whinging about that whole "Lady In The Water" thing, and all the amateurs in the blog-o-sphere trying to play at cleverness.

  • June 16, 2008, 5:33 a.m. CST

    DAMN YOU CAPONE! The Crappening!

    by Joey_Redballs

    Why was "looooovvveeesss" in the title of your review? I didn't want to read any spoilers so I only read the title to find out if The Happening was really The Crappening! Thanks to your title spewing "love" like you just reached crescendo, I wasted $14 (my ticket & girlfriend's ticket) and almost 2hrs of my life on this piece of shit. PLEASE don't put "love" in the title of your review unless you mean it!

  • June 16, 2008, 5:38 a.m. CST

    Memories, you are such a cunt

    by Lost Jarv

    I'm going to pull you up on all your bullshit that you've spread across this TB: <P>1)AvP:R- Don't lie. You were pumped to see it. I spent months kicking you for this. <P>2)I didn't know you were a scientist as well as a film critic. <P>3)How in the name of fuck can you excuse Night's performance in Lady in the water? as soon as he cast himself in the messiah role in a film he WROTE, DIRECTED and CAST it was an act of monstrous egotism. And therefore, every kicking he gets has been well and truly earned. <P>4)It's a Wonderful life is overrated? What the fuck is wrong with you? <p>5)Didn't Portugal lose to Switzerland last night? Smarting much?<p>6)I now hate Lifeforce. Thanks for ruining it for me. <P>7)Stop correcting English speakers. Cunt. By the way, your pompous little supernova treatise should be required reading for anyone that makes the mistake of thinking your not an insufferable little clagnut. <p>9)Just because Night made it rather than Bay doesn't give you the right to be an apologist. I actually think you're worse than those that defend "Bayformers" because your support is based on nothing more than your own pretentious criteria of what is worthy. You are an effete snob, and your psuedo-intellectual posts on every subject just provide me with the ammunition I need to point out, once again, what a complete and utter cunt you are. <P>This, on the other hand, is obviously shit.

  • Knuckleheads.

  • June 16, 2008, 5:39 a.m. CST

    rrow gets a free pass?

    by Dolmes

    cheese on toast

  • June 16, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    M-O-M

    by DocPazuzu

    Have you ever, even for a second, reflected upon why it is so many talkbackers can't stand you? And if you have, is your conclusion that we're all idiots who simply cannot comprehend your genius or maybe that there just might be something to the accusations leveled at you that you're a completely offensive prick? <p> Somehow I think I already know the answer...

  • June 16, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    I KNOW! I KNOW

    by Lost Jarv

    It's the first one, isn't it? <p>hehehe

  • June 16, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    The differnce between Bay and Shyamalan

    by bobjustbob

    Bay's talkbacks are more fun.

  • June 16, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Guilt Pleasures? Lifeforce Makes Sense . . .

    by kevinwillis.net

    Mathilda May . . . and what a great name? Her acting is so wooden in that movie (as is almost every persons), but, damn, she was ultrahot. And don't forget, Patrick Stewart was in that film, just about 4 years before Next Generation. There's lots to love about Lifeforce. My favorite film ever is pretty much 1980's Flash Gordon, with Sam J. Jones and the insanely hot Ornella Muti. Not to mention the uni-named Topol (of Fiddler on the Roof) as Dr. Hans Zarkov. It's, like, the perfect movie.<br><br>This movie just looks boring. A super-hot, butt naked Mathilda May? That's something to like. Brian Blessed as a Hawkman? "Hawkman, Dive!" Rocket Ajax approaching? So many things to love, there. This movie just looks kinda tedious. I know there wasn't anything to redeem Lady in the Water, for me.<br><br>I suppose I will wait and see / on DVD.

  • June 16, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    The Happening is a brilliant, brilliant but slightly flawed film

    by billie101

    I saw it yesterday, and it has haunted me ever since. After all the negativity I did not expect anything, and there are certain flaws , but the good by far outweighted the bad. there were so many haunting, iconic images, and the story was great, so why all this hatred?

  • June 16, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Billie101 is a brilliant, brilliant but slightly flawed plant

    by Lost Jarv

    "there were so many haunting, iconic images, and the story was great, so why all this hatred?" Love the deliberate typo and nice reworking of "just give it a chance". <P>"Philibrick, back to the dungeon"

  • June 16, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Pumpkin Joe

    by DennisMM

    I know half a dozen gay guys and lesbians who probably could kick your ass, stomp it into the ground, inflict severe brain damage (on what little brains you possess) and come out just a bit bruised and with a few lumps. So lay off the gay-bashing. Besides, haven't you heard? People who show such hostility towards homosexuals often have repressed homosexual tendencies that scare the hell out of them. Talk about the movies, loser.

  • June 16, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Was this film Good ? No. Was it Bad ? No. Have I seen it ?

    by Bort Cuse

    No.

  • June 16, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Whats not to like about Lifeforce?

    by skimn

    Tobe Hooper given a buttload of cash by the infamous Golan Globus folk to make a sci-fi, vampire, zombie, apocalyptic mish mash...Ms. May's attributes have been widely praised, and Mr. Railsback didn't find any bit of scenery that he didn't find tasty. Along with nice animatronic make up effects and gee-whiz light show effects, it is an '80s cheeseball classic.<p>Now for M Night's latest "epic". Much like Signs, he takes a global or large reaching phenomenon, and scales it down to a personal level, and how it affects a small group of people. That, in of itself, is not a problem. It's the characters he's focusing on that is. Mark Wahlburg is in passive "whats-going-on?" mode, much as he was in Planet Of the Apes. Zooey D's line readings were as if she were from another planet. Not "oh, shes in shock", but as if she was from another fucking planet. Their big marital rift was caused by her going out for dessert ( tiramisu, specifically ) with a co-worker, and not telling him. He responds by telling her that met a really pretty pharmacist at a drug store, and was going to buy some cough syrup, even though he didn't need any, blah, blah blah...she asks if he's kidding..and he is. And she thanks him. WTF?<p>While outside of a house, trying to convince those inside that it's safe and he's not affected by the "toxins", Wahlburg breaks into song...WTF?? (I'd shoot him in mid verse)<p> While in an abandoned house, Wahlburg starts talking to a house plant, assuring it that they're just stopping by to use the bathroom. Then realizes its plastic. WTF???<p>The characters don't act like real people, or even "movie" people, or at least any movie you've seen before. And nope, haven't mentioned "Mr. Hot Dog", who seemed to have it all figured out.<p>The ending is like a 21st Century version of The Blob, with a The End credit followed by a giant question mark (...or is it?????...) The beginning had some nice sense of mood and dread, but that fell aside quickly as soon as the story progressed.<p>It does have the makings of a future drinking game on video. Maybe take a shot everytime Wahlburg has a constipated "wha-the-fhuu" look on his face. Of course, you'd be passed out by the end credits.

  • June 16, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST

    billie101

    by billie101

    ..just me again.. my phrasing might be weird because English is not my mother tongue..but I did love this film, and I do not understand the hatred, however my phrasing. It's actually getting good reviews here in France, which seems weird as I rarely egree with them

  • June 16, 2008, 5:24 p.m. CST

    YOU CALLED THIS A R ?!?!?!

    by mr_l_74

    I seen more gore in a PG-13 movie. I waiting to be shocked nothing seven was shocking hostel was shocking this was crap. My GF put it better when she said they atlest chould have a tits or ass shot in it.

  • June 16, 2008, 11:14 p.m. CST

    i saw it today and i liked it

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    i dont get all the hate - i really liked it - i liked the characters, the performances, the story and how it played out - i found it thoughtful and suspenseful - i dont know, maybe it was just a nice break from the usual glut of mindless movie junk aimed toward teens - next to the other big movies this summer i can see how this one might feel slow and boring - but its for adults, its story is not dependent on fast action and big spectacles - i was completely engaged - and i found the "monster" scary - invisible spores on the wind - an enemy you cant see, outrun or fight - scary to me - my only real criticism is why all the hype over an r rating - it was a soft r - there was some gore but nothing shocking - i expected much more blood and shocking deaths - if you like shyamalan and were kinda let down by "lady in the water" (i was a bit, yet i liked it as well) i recommend seeing this

  • June 17, 2008, 1:14 a.m. CST

    okay, i'm sold

    by drave117

    It sounds like this one might actually give Southland Tales a run for the money. Can The Happening steal away my coveted Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen In Theaters award? It's a real possibility!

  • June 17, 2008, 1:45 a.m. CST

    JimmyJoe RedSky ! Yes!

    by billie101

    I completely agree with your post, same feeling here. And I found the "gore" shocking , even if there was little to nothing. But the fact that people kill themselves , instead of being killed, hanging off trees, putting themselves under the lawnmover- that was shocking enough.And the two kids being shot- that to me was pretty hardcore. I don't get the criticism about not there being enough gore, is this really what people are missing? Go and see Hostel!

  • June 17, 2008, 1:51 a.m. CST

    oh, and one more thing..

    by billie101

    why are so many people refering to Night as "Shama-lama-ding-dong"?? "Oh, look, its an indian name, so I make it sound stupid? ..or" I'm too lazy or ignorant to pronounce it properly"? Scary stuff!

  • June 17, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    billie

    by DennisMM

    Agree completely with your comment about MNS's name. No more difficult to pronounce than many European names, not difficult to spell. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Or just rude. I suppose they could type MNS, as I do.

  • June 17, 2008, 9:28 p.m. CST

    I liked it also

    by kinksy

    It seems to be a sheeple bandwagon thing to trash this movie. Truthfully, it was better than Signs, which had good performances but a more ludicrous story and little to no suspense or scares at all. I watched it expecting an absolute piece of shit on the level of walking out of the theater and demanding a refund and it was good. Not great, but fine. Unbreakable remains my favorite film of Night's and I see people are trashing that here also so go figure...it's all just opinion.

  • June 18, 2008, 2:59 a.m. CST

    Not as bad as I was expecting...

    by flickchick85

    but still pretty damn bad. I actually didn't have a problem with the concept, and I liked that there wasn't a "twist," but MY GOD, the execution was terrible. And the prospect of it being "intentionally" that way doesn't make it any better, imo. <p>I mean, WTF was up with Mark and Zooey? I've always found Wahlberg to be AT LEAST a decent actor, and I actually consider Zooey Deschanel to be one of, if not THE, best actresses of her age group (far more talented than Scarlett, a bit more talented than Natalie), but those were two of the most distractingly awful performances I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah, I know, Shyamalan happened. He directed them that way, making his "B-movie," and Leguizamo and the rest of the cast didn't fare much better. But I'm really curious whether they even read the script before agreeing to do this. Especially ZD, who I think was probably given the worst dialogue to work with. I mean, a car pulls up, literally right next to them, and she says, "there's a car!" Or after they hear the gun shots in the distance and MW says, "Oh no," her reply was "What oh no?" What the hell do yo think, woman?!?! Shyamalan may have written the most bone-headed female lead character to come along in decades.<p> And yet, despite my many complaints, I STILL thought it was better than The Village and Lady in the Water. Faaaar worse than his 1st 3 movies, though.

  • June 18, 2008, 3:12 a.m. CST

    Belive the Hype, this REALLY is as bad as everyone says

    by G100

    In these cynical times I myself thought that there was NO WAY this could be as bad as it was being painted. It MUST be mere Shyamalan hetred writ large on perhaps a somewhat below average film.<p> <p>WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG !!! 1 MILLION TIMES WRONG!!<p> <p>This thing was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse than I had been prepared to believe.<p> <p>It's fucking godawful.<p> <p>It's so bad they WILL be watching it in years to come the same way they do Manos the hands of fate or Pumaman. The "acting" is beyond belief and it takes mere seconds for the jaw to drop and the disbelief to set in as EVERYONE in the film delivers performances that would be laughed off infomercials. This is a suicide note of a film and I mourn Shyamalans career because after this he will be a laughing stock despite the excellent films he made early on.

  • June 18, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    What does Harry think?

    by billie101

    I'd love to know!

  • June 18, 2008, 6:40 p.m. CST

    billie101

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    youre right - i too felt the impact of the gore and deaths - i even flinched and grabbed my neck at the hair pin/needle scene (and there was no blood there) - what i meant by calling it a soft r and bringing up the rating hype was... shyamalan has proven that he can shock and scare with a pg or pg13 rating, so i assumed being unleashed for an r this movie would be gore-city - especially considering what gets an r these days (hostel, saw and other crap like that) - having said that, i still really liked it a lot and found it quite gory and shocking enough - i guess my criticism was over the hype of the rating not so much the content that got the rating - i really love james newton howards music - he and shyamalan are a great team - like hitchcock and herrmann

  • June 19, 2008, 2:57 a.m. CST

    JimmyJoe RedSky again

    by billie101

    I understand, the idea of using the rating as a marketing tool was stupid, it created expectations that were not going tobe fulfilled anyway. For me there was so much to love about his movie, the scene where MW's character talks to the plastic plant.. the idea that if unexplainable things happen you start to reevaluate everything, nothing is as it seems anymore, so you find yourself trying to speak to a plant.. it was funny but also much more than that. I didn't find it ridiculous at all. Fact is, I'm still thinking about it about a week later, and this is my first talkback ever.. And I agree , the music was perfect.

  • June 20, 2008, 3:50 p.m. CST

    DennisMM

    by Pumpkinjoe

    Hey Qweef, Am I turning you on precious? " I know half a dozen gay guys and lesbians who probably could kick your ass, stomp it into the ground" Man, I really do believe that...the part about knowing all those fags! Go back to the gay pride march. You are ujust part of everything that is wrong on these boards. You have no business here. Get lost.

  • June 20, 2008, 5:05 p.m. CST

    snitchseeker

    by Pumpkinjoe

    Well snitchy, what can I say. I have an opnion and I'm stickin' to it! Take care bud!

  • June 20, 2008, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Paulseta

    by Pumpkinjoe

    Yes my friend, you speak the truth. Whay are people on this board so afraid of speaking out against Shama-lama-ding-dong? Kudos brother, Kudos! Take care!

  • June 21, 2008, 4:25 a.m. CST

    Pumpkinjoe

    by billie101

    Gosh you're smart dear

  • June 25, 2008, 9:23 p.m. CST

    billie101...

    by Pumpkinjoe

    Damn-straight bee-ah-itch!

  • June 26, 2008, 2:09 a.m. CST

    So Bad, I Actually Produced a Parody

    by frank_reed

    I was so blown away by the sheer stupidly of this film, that I felt compelled -- no -- FORCED -- to go home and immediately make a parody. View it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx16epbyj9g

  • June 28, 2008, 1:13 a.m. CST

    Whole-E-Shit

    by thebearovingian

    This movie was really bad. Seriously bad. I'm still in shock a day later. Still disgusted by the utter shittyness of this movie. Damn you, M. Night Shyamalan!