Movie News

Massawyrm Gets Utterly Smashed To Pieces By THE HULK!!

Published at: June 5, 2008, 9:53 p.m. CST by merrick

Hola all. Massawyrm here. Somebody pinch me. No. Seriously. Somebody fucking pinch me, because this shit ain’t happening. It’s been too long and we’ve gone through too much bullshit to have finally come over the mountain and found exactly what we were looking for. Can it be true? Can Marvel finally, really and truly gotten their shit together – managed to collect their rights back and begun releasing movies that all exist in the same universe. A universe that mentions S.H.I.E.L.D. any time the government needs to do something meta-human related. A universe where the fabric of one story is woven into the whole by the thread of another? Can our childhood dreams, the dreams often spoken aloud or written about in these very halls…finally have come to fruition? Certainly I don’t mean to shit upon the stream of Marvel films that have come before summer ’08. There’s been a number of great ones – along with a handful of noble attempts. And a few not so noble. I don’t think I need to name names. We ALL have our lists. But what it all comes down to is this. That thing, that thing we’ve all been whispering about and talking about and sometimes even screaming about? It’s here. The Incredible Hulk fucking rules. Every bit as good as Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk takes the material we all love, gets at the heart of what makes it tick and then puts it on the screen FOR ADULTS. It’s dark. It’s heavy. And the bad guys aren’t playing around. With the formation of Marvel Studios, they took their two most damaged, deeply scarred heroes, handed them over to two hip, up-and-coming directors just on the verge of completely proving themselves, and hired two of the best actors of their generation to tackle the roles. The results are nothing short of geek bliss. It’s hard to talk about this film without talking about its recent predecessor. They really are something of a package deal. Not only are they gearing up for the July ’11 Avengers extravaganza – but they really do share an awful lot in common. Their pacing, tone and structure are comparable in a lot of ways. You can really feel the hand of Marvel guiding these films toward capturing the essence of their source material. And the methodology behind who they cast and how is perfect. The focus isn’t on just big names. It’s on ACTORS. And character ACTORS. Its focus is on bringing comic books to life while making true, honest to God theatre. I mean, why get the hot new face fresh off the bus when you can get a guy we all know is LONG OVERDUE his first Oscar? Which is why when you see this, you’ll begin to understand what all those gossip reports might be about. Edward Norton doesn’t phone this in for a second. He leaves every last bit he’s got up there on the screen. The guy IS Bruce Banner. He clearly spent some time in the Church of Bixby, and slipped into those well-worn shoes ready to slow walk down the highway to that classic piano piece. As much as this film is the reboot of a franchise, it is also just as easily the long awaited big screen adaptation of the show. So when you hear that he might have been fighting behind the scenes, you can see right there before your eyes that it was because he was in love with this character and its story – and god fucking bless him for that. Between his work, Christian Bale’s and Robert Downey Jr.’s, the question in casting superheroes from here forward isn’t Who can we get? It is finally Who is good enough? And much like Iron Man before it, no matter how awesome the visuals are, no matter how incredible the fight scenes or ramped up the tension is, it is ultimately the performance and portrayal of the hero that makes it work. Will you walk out of this talking about how awesome the city demolishing fight is between Hulk and the Abomination? Sure. Will you talk about how great the lead ups to the inevitable next film are? Yeah, more than likely. But you’re gonna be talking an awful lot about Banner and about how Norton nailed him. What I can’t get over are the little things. The universe tie ins that just make this FEEL like a Marvel comic book movie. The set up of the Super Soldier program and all the talk of it builds perfectly to the Captain America movie they’re working on. And it also sets the stage in a very similar fashion to how they worked it in the Ultimates universe. But there’s also little things – like weird experimental military sonic weapons – that make it feel….comic booky. I’ve had my eye on Louis Leterrier for a while now. From his incredible work on the fun as all hell Transporter, to his career-making turn on Danny the Dog (AKA Unleashed) all the way to his awkward dog of a sequel Transporter 2. He’s been right on the cusp of success, waiting for that big film to put him on everyone’s radar – and this is it. His work blending CG performances with authentic human ones is nothing short of perfection. While watching Tim Roth jump around, dodging blows from the Hulk is breathtaking, and seeing two green CG monsters tear up NYC is the reason you’ll slap down 10 bucks for admission, one of the strongest scenes in the film is actually a very quiet moment between Betty Ross and a lovesick Hulk. It isn’t just Norton forging a hero on screen. The Hulk himself has a personality, he has a heart. He is the green monster of legend that we’ve read so many times in the comic. As much as this story is rooted in both The Ultimates and the old television series, The Incredible Hulk surpasses them both by giving us the Hulk as a real honest to god character. They build him over the course of the film so perfectly that when he finally utters the phrase you’re all dying to hear him say…if fucking MEANS something. The payoff for this movie and everything they build to is everything we’ve been hoping for. Iron Man was no fluke. Something is really going on. These people are bringing us THOR. And CAPTAIN AMERICA. Then they’re bringing it all together for the AVENGERS. Can you imagine the day when they get the rights back to all their heroes? A day when we can see a Fantastic Four movie made by a studio…that actually likes the Fantastic Four? Or an X-Men movie made with a studio head not traumatized by a childhood fear of giant robots? Or a Spider-Man movie allowed to cross pollinate or even team up with other heroes? Could you imagine Walt Simonson’s and Art Adam’s brilliant Fantastic Four 347-349 on the bigscreen? Wolverine, Ghost Rider, The Hulk and Spider-Man sharing the same silver surface together? My mind is swimming. That’s what these movies are doing to me. I’m 8 years old thumbing through a stack of comics on the carpet of my bedroom floor again. And really, that’s what these movies are all about. I’m dreaming of superheroes. And today his name is The Hulk. Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em. Massawyrm
HULK SMASH PUNY WYRM MAN AND SEND HIM NASTY MAIL HERE!!! HULK SPEAK WITH GRAMMER OF TALKBACKER!!!



Readers Talkback

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  • June 5, 2008, 9:58 p.m. CST

    much better write up than Harry.

    by future help

    thanks. im smoking em'

  • June 5, 2008, 9:59 p.m. CST

    HA DAVID GORDON GREEN ROCKS

    by BrightEyes

    meh

  • June 5, 2008, 10:03 p.m. CST

    WAS ANYONE BLEEDING AND CRYING

    by Shia LaBeoufs Uncle

    on a mattress?

  • June 5, 2008, 10:04 p.m. CST

    Massa rules

    by Silverglade

    We love you, Massa. Great read.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:05 p.m. CST

    It instead of if

    by BrightEyes

    ?

  • June 5, 2008, 10:11 p.m. CST

    I'm sold.

    by BeeDub

    Opening day, baby.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:12 p.m. CST

    GREEN IS THE NEW BLACK

    by Dax_Bladerunner

    Awesome to hear. Love the HULK. Now if only good old Eddie Norton would do some interviews I'd be set.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:12 p.m. CST

    Cool. Still cautiously optimistic, despite great buzz.

    by RetroActive

    Looking forward to it. Thanks!

  • June 5, 2008, 10:15 p.m. CST

    I love Ang Lee's Hulk

    by BrightEyes

    but I'm excited about this new one, there's no reason why they both cant be good.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:20 p.m. CST

    Well, I'm starting to get sold on this flick

    by terry1978

    The buzz in all the media outlets was that this wasn't going to be very good, audiences wouldn't want to see this, but.....that's why pencils have erasers.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    The unseemly Geek Love is turning into a turn-off...

    by JackIsLost

    But I am still interested in the movie.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    Ang Lee's Hulk Was Good...

    by Read and Shut Up

    ...outside of the ending, which amounted to the Hulk fighting some water. <p> If they really ARE tying the Marvel universe together, and they're committed to using only A-list actors...well, this could truly be the beginning of something really cool.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:23 p.m. CST

    Rubbery CGI be damned, I'm there

    by SirLoin

    I've seldom doubted Norton's instincts, but the lackluster trailers have kept me from this until now. Just glad to hear it treats the audience with respect. I just want to see Ed make the Abomination bite the curb at the end of the movie, in black and white. "You see this green skin?!?!! It means NOT WELCOME!!!"

  • June 5, 2008, 10:25 p.m. CST

    Okay, I'm now interested in this movie.

    by tylerzero

  • June 5, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST

    coattails...Shut the Fuck Up...

    by Read and Shut Up

    ...about "The Lakers going down." Paul Pierce's fake, fucked-up Willis Reed moment made me puke in my mouth a little. Fuckin' soccer player. I was ready to hand him his Oscar, except he didn't roll around on the floor enough (though his teammates get best performance by a bunch of soccer-loving assholes for actually carrying him off the court). <p> <p>I literally, won a five-dollar bet with my buddy. I told him "that faking jackass will be back on the court in five minutes." Sure enough, there he was - without his walker. Was Bennie Hinn in the locker room, or...?<p> <p> By the way...why don't they have his wheel chair there at the bench for him, anyway?

  • June 5, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST

    I believe all the hype is making me lose my excitement.

    by YouAreAllMyBastardChildren

    That, my bastard children, makes me very angry. At least my bastard child, the Hulk, has let go of his daddy issues for this installment.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST

    by yeuxdesoir

    bad fugin ass! Massa, my only concern is the havoc the studios will undoubtedly wreak on marvels tied up properties before they get hem back. I mean come on, X Men origins written by the guy who did the freaking OC? GAH fans were pissed enough that xmen franchise was too wolvie centric and now they get a hack making a 90210 the x years.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Ok, now I have pretty high hope

    by br1947

    Honestly, Harry loves everything. Massawyrm loves ripping something to pieces if it deserves it. So this glowing review... now I'm officially looking forward to seeing it.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:34 p.m. CST

    God I hate comic book nerds

    by geraldbeans

    "We need Hulk and Spider-man together fighting Dr. Octopus. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeewwwwww" These fucking stupid-ass comic book movies are taking up slots of original new ideas. I'm sick of this comic book shit.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:34 p.m. CST

    Here's to basket ball shit talk

    by g-ride9000

    hip hip horrey!

  • June 5, 2008, 10:38 p.m. CST

    This movie sucks

    by Redundant23

    How can the movie be both a tribute to the TV series and a perfect Marvel tie-in? The series was unlike any of the HULK comics! Harry freaked out over the new trailer, which completely underwhelmed me. I'm guessing the same is true of the movie. I might rent it on DVD -- might -- in six months or so, after this movie tanks.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:39 p.m. CST

    Exactly, You Alexander...

    by Read and Shut Up

    ...a "sprained knee" wouldn't allow any lift, let alone lateral movement. Modern sports ain't about the game - it's about some dumbass, side story. Will they let him use the wheel chair on the court, or...?

  • June 5, 2008, 10:43 p.m. CST

    Is Liv Tyler actually a real elf?

    by YouAreAllMyBastardChildren

    Just saw the latest HULK tv spot and her ears still look elf-ish.<p>So they're not just myths and legends? My damn brain just exploded!!

  • June 5, 2008, 10:44 p.m. CST

    You're on the wrong site..

    by Gun-kata

    If you don't remotely give a flying shit about these comic book movies. Really, come on. "Stupid-ass comic book movies" - lmao, are you kidding? Shut the fuck up. The Hulk and Iron Man are what us nerds have been waiting for and wanting. Looks like Marvel is finally kicking ass and taking names. Bring on The Avengers!

  • June 5, 2008, 10:49 p.m. CST

    "HULK SPEAK WITH GRAMMER OF TALKBACKER!!!"

    by Mullah Omar

    Love it. Too true.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:56 p.m. CST

    coattails=jackass

    by Read and Shut Up

    ...God, I love the new math.

  • June 5, 2008, 10:57 p.m. CST

    I'm still not convinced

    by GregoryHarbin

    But this has been enough to get me into theaters opening weekend. Go figure.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:04 p.m. CST

    Shared Universe makes me happy...

    by MisterE

    ...although I want more Marvel Universe and less Ultimate Universe. David Hasselhoff should be Nick Fury.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:04 p.m. CST

    I doubt Marvel

    by Shia LaBeoufs Uncle

    will ever regain the right to the X-Men or Spider-Man. Fox and Sony see $$$, and they will never them go. Ghost Rider, Daredevil, and even the Fantastic Four will be released back to Marvel by Sony/Fox eventually. And after the sure-to-be-a-giant-abortion Punisher: War Zone comes out, I'm sure Lionsgate will release the rights to Punisher. But Spider-Man/X-Men? They'll NEVER get those rights back.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Didn’t Massawym recently claim he made his living as a critic?

    by Mose Schrute

    I don’t know a ton of paid critics who use the words “fucking,” “shit,” “bullshit,” and “shit” (again) in their lead paragraphs. <p> Harry didn’t mention Massawyrm among the contributors he pays. Thank Christ. <p>So please tell us, professional critic Massawyrm: who pays you for your reviews and how much do they pay you? Because I’m pretty sure everyone I’ve ever met could pretty much snatch that job away from you with minimal effort.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Universe vs the actual movie

    by turbofargo

    So far from both reviews are gleefully happy about making these two films into a cohesive universe, however little was said about the movie itself. So forget the tie-ins is this movie good on its own accord?!

  • June 5, 2008, 11:09 p.m. CST

    Capone, on the other hand, I love.

    by Mose Schrute

    Has his Hulk review gone up yet?

  • June 5, 2008, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Mose Schrute

    by Silverglade

    WHy are you being a complete dick to Maassa? He's a grown-ass man and can defend his own self, I was only asking out of curiosity.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Terrible Review...

    by Sakurai

    Who does a movie review and barely backs up their conclusion? All I can gather is...this movie rules because edward norton is talented, the director is competent and it feels comic-booky. You dont make a claim that a film is "every bit as good as Iron Man" without elaborating. Can moriarty hold a workshop for you guys to teach about film review?

  • June 5, 2008, 11:27 p.m. CST

    Sweet

    by StealthBeagle

    Great review, too.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Just rewatched Ang's HULK & this new CGI SUCKS!!!

    by TheGhostWhoLurks

    Really... the CGI on the new Hulk film looks like a Michael Turner drawing to Ang Lee's Alex Ross.<p>The story and acting may be good, but crappy CGI really kills films for me.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:31 p.m. CST

    HULK DOGS WOULD FEAST ON THE NEW HULK'S BALLS...

    by Chishu_Ryu

    'NUFF SAID

  • June 5, 2008, 11:32 p.m. CST

    Did everyone at AICN...

    by -guyinthebackrow

    ... forget about X-Men 1 & 2. Those were the first good marvel movies.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:34 p.m. CST

    re: Goodbye Horses

    by Stevie Grant

    Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me, I'd fuck me hard... I'd fuck me so hard.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:35 p.m. CST

    Massa is the site joke. Not a funny one.

    by darthuser

    "Fucking shit's in the same universe! Shit's fucking awesome! Goddamn fucking incredible shit!" $20, please. <p> Bet Massa doesn't answer ol' Mose's question. I agree about Capone. Capone does seem to do a much better job with the movie criticism. <p> I know Capone saw it; where's the review?

  • June 5, 2008, 11:38 p.m. CST

    Despite two good reviews

    by rogueleader66

    Some people , as always, will go in with the attitude that it will suck, and even if they love the movie, will come back here and say it sucked. I, and i'm sure a lot of other fellow movie geeks on here, like when we are proven wrong when we go into a movie with low expectations. I must say that my expectations for this one are rising fast from what I have heard so far.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:39 p.m. CST

    What phrase?

    by antonphd

    Hulk Smash?

  • June 5, 2008, 11:41 p.m. CST

    Feel the hand of Marvel

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Okay so they are creating an interlocking world. I get it. So how is the movie otherwise?<p>I get the impression that the idea of a cinematic Marvel Universe is making certain people cream their jeans over this movie. I wonder if you take the appeal of that aspect out of the equation - for example I DON'T GIVE A FUCK - will it still deliver?<p>Geeking out over Captain America hints and crossovers is fine for some people, but it's not gonna carry the movie for me.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:42 p.m. CST

    Massawyrm is famously useless.

    by whoanecron

    Any random foul-mouthed seventh grader could lend more insight. Are all his "fans" in talkback really just him logged in under different names, trying to build some pro-Massawyrm buzz? I can't imagine another explanation. <p> And, yes, I too would like to know who pays him enough to "make a living" with such poor verball skills.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:44 p.m. CST

    Wow, for guys with talkback accounts...

    by Massawyrm 1

    <p>Some of you sure don't know your way around this place...</p> <p>Capone is our Friday guy. His Hulk review will most likely be up next Friday, unless he decides to break habit. I'm the early review spoiler free guy who uses swears. Been doing so for 7 years here. And if you're curious about my career, I hear Google is a good place to start. The guy from USAToday found me at a friends house in 15 minutes flat. The internet is a creepy fucking place...</p>

  • June 5, 2008, 11:47 p.m. CST

    So Betty is an emasculating shrew that Hulk wants to rape?

    by Chewtoy

    Seriously, the last thing I want to hear about any of these Marvel movies is that they follow the drenched-in-cynicism "Ultimates". "The Authority" was funny, sure, but the joke of Millar's writing gets old, and I'm no longer in my jaded 20's when I had to sneer at the concept of heroes. And really, I can think of no more pointless creative exercise than other people adapting Millar and Bendis's adaptions of the source material. So I hope the rave reviews for this and Iron Man are coming from letting people who love the original characters find their own way to share that love with the audience, and I hope Marvel doesn't go pushing for more "Ultimate" takes. All right... mini rant over.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:47 p.m. CST

    coattails

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    you've had a couple zingers thus far. keep up the good work.

  • June 5, 2008, 11:49 p.m. CST

    Brian Michael Bendis

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Brian Michael Suckis

  • June 5, 2008, 11:57 p.m. CST

    Once more, I've no idea what Massa is babbling

    by Mose Schrute

    I don't care about your USA Today delivery or how much we should use Google. I want to find out who pays such a crappy writer and how much. You brought it up; we just want to know if you're as full of shit as you sound. Or at least I do.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:04 a.m. CST

    But Iron Man was crap

    by Proman1984

    And I have a feeling that this will be too.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:04 a.m. CST

    STILL THINK GEORGE FOREMAN SHOULD PLAY THE HULK.........

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    he'd be like, "I'M MEAN! AND I'M GREEN! AND I'M LEAN!... AND YOU CAN BE LEAN TOO WITH MY NEW GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL!" =0)

  • June 6, 2008, 12:08 a.m. CST

    dont ruin deadpool for me please

    by BrainFart

    thats all i ask

  • June 6, 2008, 12:21 a.m. CST

    was it better than daredevil?

    by Jubba

    haha i can't wait for some hulking action...i enjoyed parts of ang lee's vision for what it was, but this should be much better...and i'm from toronto and the fight scene on the street is full of local spots, like the zanzibar strip club...classy...hulk smash puny dancing women

  • June 6, 2008, 12:22 a.m. CST

    This is why WB is a bunch of fucked up pussy queefs!

    by expert_40

    Seriously, make DC a seperate studio within WB, like New Line is, and let THEM decide on how the movies will go.<br><br>That way, the Justice League can actually be in the SAME FUCKING WORLD as Christian Bale's Batman and the guy who looks like Chris Reeve's Superman-daddy's world. They can all exist in the same world!<br><br>Why don't those fucktards at WB understand that we want CONTINUITY!!! We don't want to see some Gossip Girl rejects play Batman and Superman in a JLA movie. We already have th best Batman ever and decently passable Superman.<br><br>Let Adam Brody be Wally West, the Flash, in the Flash movie, let David Boreanaz be Hal Jordan in a Green Lantern Movie... and then BRING THEM ALL TOGETHER FOR JUSTICE LEAGUE!!!<br><br>Don't make fucking Aquaman a joke movie!<br><br>Have some fucking respect for your fucking properties, WB!!! And dammit... give us what we fucking want!!!

  • June 6, 2008, 12:37 a.m. CST

    Remember Alexandra DuPont?

    by mach5jack

    Now *those* were reviews. I like Capone's criticism too, and Mori's and Harry's. Massawyrm just spews drivel. There aren't a lot of talkbackers who write worse than he does. Hopefully he'll go the way of MiraJeff before too long and Harry can bring on more Capone-calibre talent -- assuming Harry feels he really needs five critics.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:46 a.m. CST

    God, I love Edward Norton.

    by AnnoyYou

    I will see anything with him (well...except for that awful thing he did with Ben Stiller), much as I will see anything with Christian Bale (well...except for that awful thing he did with Freddie Rodriguez) -- these guys have talent, acting chops and charisma to burn. Sigh. I'm glad this Hulk is a good version, but really, to me it doesn't even matter.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    So... wheres the review?... or did I read over it on accident

    by sleeptones

    omg..

  • June 6, 2008, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Ok yeah

    by RobertBaron

    All this Marvel Universe set up shit sounds great, but if Hulk, Thor, Captain America, etc are all hits, the Avenger movie is going to cost $200 before a foot of film is shot just casting the actors. Let alone throwing Spidey and the X-Men into the mix (if they plan on using Maguire, Jackman, et al). Ink and pencils are cheap. A-list actors aren't.

  • June 6, 2008, 1:25 a.m. CST

    coattails....

    by TELF

    Thanks for cheering me up after my woman just owned me at cards. <p>I don't get the negativity on this one, been on board since Norton signed up. Looks fun to me.

  • June 6, 2008, 1:37 a.m. CST

    Good lad.

    by TELF

  • June 6, 2008, 1:39 a.m. CST

    i fucking LOVE massa...

    by mr_macphisto

    ...good review from an old favorite, that made me grin as I was reading it. even better, though, was his handling of a few wayward talkbackers who tried (for whatever reason) to call him out. good show, sir, and i look forward to seeing this in theatres whenever the fuck it comes out. i'm...too lazy to check.

  • June 6, 2008, 1:39 a.m. CST

    For adults? So it's rated R?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    No?

  • June 6, 2008, 1:43 a.m. CST

    oh, and how long until marvel can re-imagine x-men?!?

    by mr_macphisto

  • June 6, 2008, 1:44 a.m. CST

    oh, and how long until marvel can re-imagine x-men?!?

    by mr_macphisto

    ...coz i dunno bout you guys...but i'd like to see fucking CYCLOPS make it to the big screen at some point, and be treated with some fucking RESPECT. matthew fox, anyone?

  • June 6, 2008, 1:55 a.m. CST

    Now THAT was a passionate review

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    Fuck it's got me hyped.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:03 a.m. CST

    KURT RUSSELL...

    by mr_macphisto

    ...shoulda been Nick Fury.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:12 a.m. CST

    This is a Golden Fucking Age, my friends.

    by therobcat

    Seriously. I'm 32 and I've been waiting for good Marvel movies since I was 12. I had to endure a Dolph Lundgren Punisher with no big skull and re-runs of some 70's monstrosity with some douche-bag running around in a bad cosplay Spider-Man outfit. That costume freaked me out. The eyes were all... wrong... Anyway, now that The House Of Ideas is in control, we're in for a hell of a ride. Let's enjoy it while it lasts.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:24 a.m. CST

    Marvel Needs to fight Fox for the rites of Xmen and F4!!!

    by The Founder

    One can only dream. I know FOX is never going to release them Xmen rites. They will hang on to them, even thouigh they wont do another film.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:42 a.m. CST

    Please, no Ultimates Cap.

    by Dingbatty

    No more Ultimates inspired crap, in any of these films.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:53 a.m. CST

    But... WHAT ABOUT THE CGI?

    by BenBraddock

    Is it good, bad, indifferent? Anyone...?

  • June 6, 2008, 3:20 a.m. CST

    Remember...

    by kwisatzhaderach

    the AICN guys all loved Indiana Jones...

  • June 6, 2008, 3:33 a.m. CST

    Fuck THE ULTIMATES, let's get some HULK: GREY

    by catlettuce4

    I want to see a CGI hulk petting a bunny to death "...wet?"

  • June 6, 2008, 3:42 a.m. CST

    I hated Iron Man, will I still like this?

    by We

    Thought Iron Man's story was some of the laziest screenwriting I'd seen since Transformers. They kinda smoothed over the obligatory parts without actually bothering to connect them with any logic. I just don't understand all the positive reviews it's gotten. It just totally failed to envolve me emotionally on any level and when that final smackdown took place between Iron Man and that growling Iron Monger I couldn't help but wince. I wanted to like it, and I want to like the Hulk, but what's it gonna be? Is it already the victim of the sort of extreme over-hyping that Iron Man fell to?

  • June 6, 2008, 3:54 a.m. CST

    Marvel didn't terminate the Spidey rights. their fault

    by messi

    they took the offer of renewal. Very fucking stupid business decision.

  • June 6, 2008, 3:57 a.m. CST

    They won't get the rights back if they keep renewing them

    by messi

    really. I mean they had a chance to terminate the Spidey rights but Sony were allowed to renew, so now we have to deal with half ass Spidey who acts nothing like Spidey and Tobey's awful Peter Parker not to mention the unsexy kirsten dunst as mary jane. fuck.

  • June 6, 2008, 3:59 a.m. CST

    Read and Shut Up Fuck yourself cunt

    by messi

    I know who you are and the fact you're degrading the greatest and most popular sport in the world means i'm going to punch you when I see you in trouble next time. fucking cockfuck.

  • June 6, 2008, 4:11 a.m. CST

    IRON MAN's Nick Fury proves MARVEL isn't on track yet

    by Monkey_King

    especially when your writer/director openly admits he didn't know the 'true' Nick Fury we know and love was white, and yet cast an ULTIMATES version of him anyway. Damn you, Brian Michael Bendis, MARVEL and ULTIMATES scribes! Damn you all to HELL!!!!!!!!

  • June 6, 2008, 4:15 a.m. CST

    by Jack Spyder

    Ultimate Nick Fury>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>abbyss>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>grand cannyon>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>andromeda>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>616 universe Nick Fury. Deal with that. Kill the bad mofo, Nick!!!!!!!!

  • June 6, 2008, 4:26 a.m. CST

    worried about Thor and Captain America

    by smackfu

    I don't know, I was never really able to connect with Thor as a character or even as an interesting super hero. Captain America, there is just no way to have him look remotely like Captain America without looking completely lame. So what will we have, a guy in a black leather trenchcoat throwing a shield around? Oh well, as long as he doesn't have a hairlip it will be a step up from the existing material.

  • Think about it.

  • June 6, 2008, 5:08 a.m. CST

    BRUCE WILLIS AND HIS HOWLING COMMANDOS!

    by alice 13

    HOW COULD MARVEL FUCK THAT UP SO BAD?

  • June 6, 2008, 5:14 a.m. CST

    i wish they'd do a half reboot on Daredevil...

    by Obscura

    dont tell the origin again, just get right into it. and Ben affleck wasnt that bad either.

  • June 6, 2008, 5:31 a.m. CST

    Marvel Team-Up!

    by kafka07

    Oh the possibilities are endless.

  • June 6, 2008, 5:36 a.m. CST

    I am planning on camping out 24 hours in advance

    by EbertsFatThumb

    just to see this movie. To make it more memorable I plan on standing half way around the building dreaming there is a long line of other uber fans also dressed up as the Hulk. I also plan on buying every possible Hulk doll (action figure) at the toy store and never open the packaging. Or maybe I will just get a ticket anytime and let the kids play with dolls.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:17 a.m. CST

    I think I'm gonna cry

    by unclemeat

    Really, I mean...we're actually witnessing the (re)birth of the Marvel Universe, this time on the giant screen. This is history in the making. If only Fox and Sony would give up their Marvel characters for the greater good, we'd live in a near perfect cinematic world.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:18 a.m. CST

    To unionJACKass.webs.com

    by unclemeat

    I guess they'll make the golden age Captain America fighting nazis (and hopefully the Red Skull), then getting "killed" and frozen, to be discovered in the Avengers movie.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    But... are there Hulk poodles?

    by Iowa Snot Client

    Ang Lee is a genius, and if there are no Hulk poodles, forget it. Well, maybe a Hulk Lhasa Apso.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    unionJACKass.webs.com

    by TimMighty

    The LionsGate animated direct to DVD "UltimateAvengers" movie captured the whole 40´cap-got-frozen-in-Ice thing pretty nice. But thats the only thing that really worked out. The rest wasnt that memorable...at least for me. Ah...and you know what ? AngLee´s Hulk version wasnt that bad. Nice lil movie. Fucking haters...go and watch some will ferrel shit.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    can it really be true?

    by just pillow talk

    If so, well fuck me up the goat's ass for not believing in this new Hulk. Two high quality Marvel movies released in the same fucking summer? <p>I'm down with that.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Ultron sounds like Optimus Prime

    by Kevin Holsinger

    Other than that, I'm not seeing anything interesting in the new, animated Avengers movie...<br>http://tinyurl.com/5spao8 <br>Maybe you guys will like it more.

  • June 6, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    Giant monsters fighting

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I hope Hulk KILLS Abomination after a violent and protracted fight. That to me would let me know that Marvel is serious. Make the fight that intense. KILL him! But based on my seeing both Hulk and Abom improbably clinging to the struts of a helicopter in the trailers without bringing the copter down with their combined weight, I don't think they're serious. You can't be taken seriously when you ignore the laws of physics.

  • June 6, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Deadpool

    by MrPopular

    Marvel is rocking the movies out and I'm just waiting to get a pic of Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. I can't wait

  • June 6, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Don't Wake Hulk!

    by Iowa Snot Client

    You wouldn't like him when he's sleepy! http://tinyurl.com/688ypk

  • June 6, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Where's my ticket? I have cash.

    by JDanielP

    Here's to hoping that Warner Bros. is learning from Marvel's example: Build your movie universe.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Oh the irony

    by Blanket-Man

    Now that MARVEL is in charge of its own characters in the movies, the flicks are improving exponentially... yet the comics themselves are approaching a mid-90s level of weakness. Other than Brubaker's CAP, is there a regular Marvel monthly worth following anymore? Some of Bendis's titles are OK, but it's funny how we keep talking up how Marvel finally has say in these movies, how they can finally get their characters on the right track, yet they can't seem to put out a decent SPIDER-MAN comic (which is supposed to be their forte', right?!?) to save their lives.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:22 a.m. CST

    I knew Leterrier would not let me down

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Let's face it, this is the guy who co-gave us The Transporter, and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, he followed it up with Transporter 2: Bigger, Dumber, Furiouser. This is the guy I want making a Hulk film - a guy who can give me some crazy action nonsense and, whenever possible, a hot scrawny chick shooting guns in her undies.<p>As an aside, does anyone know if there are there any hot scrawny chicks shooting guns in their undies in this one?

  • June 6, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Oh, and thanks to Massa for the review

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I can't bear to read Harry's reviews, so I choose to accept this as my one take on The Hulk until I see it next week. Unless Vern reviews it, that is.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    see what happens, AIC kids,

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    when you put stuff like this up over night.<p>the slackster at work early morning crowd is a much better group of talkbackers.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    can someone in Hollywood

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    please snag Niel Cumston (sp?) and drag him to this movie? i would love a review from him.<p>you know, how the hulk smashed his balls and his ass and then went down on his lady.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Gatsbys

    by just pillow talk

    In defense of me and some other talkbackers, we slack all day long.<p>Frankie, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no to the "hot scrawny chicks shooting guns in their undies". Though one would presume there would be plenty of S.H.I.E.L.D agents who would fit the bill, and could be worked into the movie quite nicely.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    i agree - this is a better version of harry's review

    by zapano

    except without the heart-warming episode of the kid wondering "if that man really turned into the Hulk" however classic or masterpiece have not been bandied about either this film or iron man. the dark knight and wall-e seem to be the only true contenders for that title

  • June 6, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Sam Elliot freaked me out as T-Bolt Ross...

    by Kid Z

    ...I kept hearing his lines like they were, "Lemme tell yuh 'bout this guy I know way out west, name'a the Hulk. Now... Hulk... there's a name we don't a'cotton too much where I come from... but fer the Hulk... in his place 'n' his time... it jes' purt near fit him to a tee..." I kept expecting the next scene after any scene with Elliot to be the Hulk wearing shorts, flip-flops and shades, holding a White Russian in one hand and smoking a spliff with the other.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Slacking is a necessity!

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Damnit, you can't expect us to be working all damn day long. Look at that shit, it's boring, I don't want to do it. Just let me natter on AICN for a bit, recharge my batteries as it were, and I'll get to the stuff you're paying me for in a while.<p>Honestly, I don't think I could survive the day without a bit of Ain't It Cool Banter.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Harry's nephew...

    by Kid Z

    ...he's supposed to be 7 years old, right? But why is it when I first started visiting this site lo, so many years ago,in the nigh-mythical era of the late-1990's, Harry was always talking about his 7 year old nephew even back then? Is it another nephew? Or the strange result of a Casimir Effect due to a pocket of negatively-charged exotic matter located somewhere beneath Austin?

  • June 6, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    That is sad news about the scrawny chicks, jpt

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I will stick a pin in my desire to see hot scrawny chicks doing violence and wait until Hellboy 2 comes out. Maybe Selma Blair setting fire to stuff will fit the bill...

  • June 6, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Mayhaps I’ll shuck my apprehension after all…

    by Kid Kryptonite

    There are only a few reviewers around here that I actually respect in regards to their take on films. Most of the masturbatory diatribes that get flung all over this site are completely unreliable and piss me off to no end when I finally sit down and watch the dreck they’ve peddled (I’m looking at you Harry). Big Wyrm, you’re one of the last around here who’s opinion I give a shit about, bro. Don’t let me down. I’m ready to get my cock rocked by this flick now.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    The TV show was a boring melodrama

    by toadkillerdog

    The Hulk was reduced to about five minutes screen time, and even then, he only smacked around some guards, while "David" solved second cousin Berties little problem with her semi-retarded, alcoholic, one-legged husband.<p> I never watched past the second season unless they hyped some villain who might give the hulk a fight. <p> It was total crap as far as a super-hero show should be, and if the movie follows that scenario, it will be garbage. <p> I only hope that they have enough fight scenes to justify rebooting this, because if this is just the boring, melodramatic TV show made large, it will be the last Hulk movie. <p> I am holding my breath and will wait to see with my own eyes.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    frankie and hellboy II

    by just pillow talk

    Unfortunately she won't be in her undies while setting demons and whatnot on fire. <p>That would make my little horn grow too.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Node

    by just pillow talk

    Sorry, but the ending of Lee's Hulk was not exciting nor interesting. I won't bash his attempt at doing something different, but all in all, I just found the movie okay and nothing memorable about it.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    I loved the telly show when I was a kid

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Admittedly, I haven't seen it in a long, long while, but I used to love that show. I loved it so much, my mother let me shred one of my old shirts so I could drape it over my shoulders and run around the house growling and doing scrawny kid muscle poses and whatnot.<p>Good times.<p>Anyway, I'm pretty happy that this new Hulk adventure looks like it's going to include a few nods to the old show. I may have to rip up another shirt and re-commence the running and growling and that. I have better muscles now, but I fear it is less socially acceptable for a man in his thirties to tear about pretending to be a giant green monster.<P>GGGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAARRRRGH!!!!!!!!

  • June 6, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Frankie

    by just pillow talk

    I don't see why not, except you'll be doing it at many different jobs and more than likely have less ability to furnish references on your job interviews.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    You are quite the bubble burster today, jpt

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I am but a humble man with a desire to see lean, toned women fuck some shit up (with either guns or fire - I'm not fussy), but you are having none of it.<p>Never mind. I have begged a copy of The Bourne Ultimatum off a work buddy, and that will have to suffice instead. I don't know, though. Matt Damon's a good looking guy and all, but he has very little effect on my little horn.<p>P.S. Thanks for the phrase 'little horn', by the way. That's a good one. As punishment for your bubble bursting, I'm nicking it off you and pretending I made it up.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    node

    by just pillow talk

    Indeed it is.<p>And until I see this one, I won't classify it as "fanboy-pandering, soulless garbage". <p>If it is like Iron Man, I will be quite happy.

  • it was Kevin Feige who asked Bendis to write something and then Favreau mixed and matched dialogue.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    tis not my fault, but the choice of Marvel in this case

    by just pillow talk

    Clearly they can somehow throw in Jen in her Electra outfit in every Marvel movie. She can throw her little weapons and bounce around the screen.<p>Fair enough on the bubble bursting punishment.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    With the job I have at the moment...

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    It would almost be worth painting myself green, running amok through the office in a tattered shirt and purple shorts, then getting sacked in a most spectacular and memorable fashion. It would get me out of here and also become a great story to tell for years to come.<p>I am already fantasising about security guards chasing me around desks while I hulk out...

  • June 6, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    If Marvel can get Edward Norton and Rbt Downey, Jr.

    by ironburl

    to do their movies, why can't they get someone other than the retarted janitor that writes the daily spider-man comic strip?

  • June 6, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    i call bull $hit

    by awepittance

    this movie's cgi looks like it came out before jurassic park, how on earth are people praising this so highly. if its somehow dovetailed into iron mans super over hype i can understand.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    make sure you have some random objects

    by just pillow talk

    placed around the office so that you can hurl them at the security guards. Maybe a garbage can, a tire (I'm stealing that from Abom)....

  • June 6, 2008, 9:48 a.m. CST

    marvel is going to innovative how comic movies are done...

    by THE_ONE_MAN_GANG

    because really, this type of interwoven storytelling should have been done long ago...it just makes sense. buuut..... they dont even do that in their own comics for f*%$ sake... but anyway i cant wai to see this. good review.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Frankie

    by toadkillerdog

    I will never step on someones childhood memories. If you fondly remember Hulk, that is good. You say you are in your thirties, well I am slightly older than you, and I rememeber quite vividly how when Hulk finally made it on TV, I was as excited as could be. BUt it quickly turned into boredom, not just for me, but for all of my friends around the same age (10,11,12) because there was just talk, and no action. <p> I enjoyed some drmas back then even at that age, but when I tuned into the Hulk, I wanted to see the Hulk. Bill Bixby was a great actor, and was beloved, but the show was called The Hulk, not 'The travlller who solves peoples problems, whule running away from his own and turns into a non-talking Green guy sometimes". It was boring.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    true toad

    by just pillow talk

    But whatever inspires Frankie to paint himself green, wear purple pants, and run amok in his office growling is A.O.K. in my book.<p>Plus I think this would make great you tube material.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    If Massa likes it; I'm there

    by nerosday

    Thanks Wyrm, you have finally got me excited about this thing. I'll be there the first Saturday it opens. This sounds great.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    Fair enough, toad

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Even as a kid, I enjoyed the 'lonely traveller' aspect of the show as much the 'Hulk wrecks up the place' stuff. I've always liked stories about misfits, and that's what the show was about to me. I had never read the comic, so I had no expectations or anything to compare it to. Therefore, I always enjoyed it.<p>That's not to say if I bought the show on DVD and watched it again as an adult I would still love it. Who knows? I learned my lesson when I watched some repeats of Blake's 7 a few years back and discovered one of my favourite childhood shows was actually quite boring and cheap. I'm not making that mistake again.

  • June 6, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST

    I was at the Austin Screening...

    by Cap-m Canuck

    The movie is a mixed bag. Ed is INCREDIBLE. I seriously think he is phsycotic. No one plays the skinny guy trying to fight back inner rage better than him. Liv is brilliant. She has a real Bustedtees thing going on. There is one point while looking at the Hulk you can tell she's think "please just one little peak..." The effects work is very mixed. If you followed the previous stories they did a lot with real cars and what not. Then they went and took some real short cuts. There is scene of a helicopter that looks like it's right out of AOTC... And the big green Hulk as a character is owned by Ang's. He gets a way better role here doing some really cool Hulk stuff but I would have put this on par or better than Iron Man if the origal team and model had been used. It was like watching the Polar Express. Like one of the other reviews said this is not a remake. There is a brief re-telling of the story at the beginning but there is no pissing all over the Ang Lee version. It was very easy to assume that this picked up where the last one finished. There is a very definate weaving weaving going. This movie reminded how much I loved Iron Man. I was humming Black Sabbath all night long.

  • June 6, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    One of the reasons that JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS was so good...

    by INWOsuxRED

    was that they casted actors instead of big names

  • June 6, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    Node32774

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    there was like a combined 4 minutes of SHIELD in Iron Man. is that too much for you to sit through to tie it into other movies?

  • June 6, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    About that Thor movie...

    by Darwyn

    Can someone explain to me how someone makes a movie about an old Scandinavian god wielding a war hammer and not make it seem beyond even geek logic? (I keep picturing that youtube video of the Hulk vs. Thor from the TV show, and my god, they certainly had a hard time realizing the character back then) For that matter, I don't know how we get a star-spangled Captain America without it looking kind of ridiculous, like Bill O'Reilly's wet dream. Didn't Daredevil show us how if you try to make a superhero outfit out of leather instead of latex to avoid it looking retarded...it still looks retarded? I hate to be a naysayer - in fact, I'm naysaying knowing damn well a card-carrying C.A. or Thor geek will set me straight, but I want an Avengers flick to kick ass and I not knowing anything about those two characters, I just can't imagine a kick ass execution...somebody help me imagine a kick-ass execution!!!

  • June 6, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Node32774

    by messi

    Yeah man cos having the abomination, doc samson and the leader isn't close to the comic compare to ang lee's. or Hulk saying Hulk Smash. fucking idiot.

  • June 6, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Don't compare RDJ or Norton to Bale.

    by Raymar

    I loved Batman Begins and all but Bale's delivery was flat and bored sounding. Thats okay because Batman is like that but still...

  • June 6, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Nosferatu Jones

    by toadkillerdog

    I was with you all the way, until you made that Criterion crack!<p> But I do get your point, and it has been rehashed so many times, on both Hulk and the dreck called Superman Returns. <p> Back in the 70's, in an FF comic, an Italian director (based on Fellini) wanted to make an FF movie. He says, with regards to the Thing, - in heavily accented comicbook Italian - 'My'a Ting he'a gon make'a you'a cry!' <p> He had no concept of whatthe public wanted to see. Action, fights, superheroics. Instead, he wanted to make a 'message movie'. Needless to say, the movie did not get made - even in the comic book! Why? becasue even back then it made no sense for an Auteur, or wannbe auteur, to make a superhero movie. <p> If you are going to just use the name of the character, and disregard why the character is popular - and it aint hard with superhero's - they fight big battles against big mean powerful and fugly villains, if you are going to ignore all of that, why make the movie to begin with? <p> You don't go to a Taco stand and order sushi (although they have fish tacos - but lets not go there).

  • June 6, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    What the geeks deem great today....

    by Jabroni

    Is shit in 6 months. Just look at how people bash Transformers. This time last year it was the greatest film, now you can't find a person on this board that likes it. The Hulk might be getting good reviews now, but that's because these geeks are getting their noodle wet for it, once they see the tired stretched out hay-nanny, nanny that it is, you all will go back to jerking off about Thor or Captain America. I'll wait for the DVD thank you.

  • June 6, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Ang Lee's Hulk

    by OptimusCrime

    was horrible. Kudos to TKD for his insightful and succinct explaination of why.

  • June 6, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Much mor HULKy

    by Cap-m Canuck

    This movie is way more comic book HULK. That said this is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Separate from the Marvel Universe and the Marvel Ultimate Universe. Three separate continuities...

  • June 6, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    I am Batman is one angry little man.

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    chill out, dude.<p>do you not think that most of the people who are on here are "geektards" like Harry? as i've said before, too many times, go read Entertainment Weekly's review if you don't want a geeked out, sexual reference filled, typo ridden review.<p>thats what this site is.

  • June 6, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Shut up about ANG LEE!!!

    by SlickyVonBoner

    That shit was aweful and you know it. Stop clinging to a couple decent fight sequences in that film as a reason to say its good. The whole father-son relationship was absurd and I challenge any defender of that movie to explain what the Hell was going on. If he loved his son and was trying to reconcile, why was he then trying to steal his power and kill him at the end? Because some horrible writer wanted to tack a super-villian in the movie somehow. Um, lets see... lets give the dad super powers. (sigh)

  • June 6, 2008, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Nosferatu Jones

    by toadkillerdog

    I knew you were being facetious with the Criterion comment - I was just kidding. <p> You are right about Lee's Hulk (Ang's not Stan's). I actually like the movie, not love, but I do like it. <p> It was boring on the big screen, and kids just fell asleep watching it. <p> On the DVD, it is better - but the problem still exists in the interpretation. <p> Ang is a very good director, but he perhaps should have steered clear of that one.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Raymar

    by messi

    whata re you talking about, that's bruce wayne.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:10 p.m. CST

    I am Batman = The Eeyore of AICN

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    But what else do you expect from the Talkbacker formerly known as moviemack?

  • June 6, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    If they use the Ultimates' version of Thor...

    by Mosquito March

    ...where he is powerful, but his godhood is in question, they might be able to pull him off in an Avengers film. I think they updated him to some kind of super-conservationist with an arrogant rock star persona. Take that character and cast Josh Holloway from LOST in the part (if he can ditch the accent) and you'd have a Thor who could remain mysterious.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    "an arrogant rock star persona"...

    by Kid Z

    ...So the Ultimates Thor is really Val Hallan? "I shalt smite thee with power chords from my awesome axe!" You take out the Norse mythology (or the Marvel version of it anyway) you don't have Thor anymore.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    'My'a Ting he'a gon make'a you'a cry!'

    by SubliminalJones

    Toadkiller, the italian director spoof in the comic was based on Dino De Laurentis(not Fellini), who became infamous for stating "When-a the Jaws die, nobody cry. When-a my Kong die, everybody cry". From that day forward, the DeLaurentis name was ridiculed and sullied, until Giada DeLaurentis restored it to glory with her delicious sweater melons.

  • June 6, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    that next Avengers animated film

    by Smoke Monster Loves Kate

    looks horrendous. wtf? Marvel's version of Teen Titans? gah.

  • June 6, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    SlickyVonBoner

    by Cap-m Canuck

    You will like this MOVIE better than 'that other' movie but... 'that other' HULK was way better than the new version. Had he been given the same script it would have rocked!

  • June 6, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    SubliminalJones

    by toadkillerdog

    I stand corrected on Italian directors accents! I do think however, that in the 1960's Fellini had expressed an interest in some Marvel characters. But you are quite right about Giada!

  • June 6, 2008, 1:27 p.m. CST

    I am Batman is such a cunt. what a loser

    by messi

    this is the dude who wants a cloth suited batman. asscunt.

  • June 6, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    messi

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    I am Batman was practically doing cartwheels over the news of Ledger's passing. He hates Nolan and BB so much, that he's hoping Ledger's death will kill TDK at the box office.<P>Yeah, he's quite the ghoul.

  • June 6, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    Kid Z

    by Mosquito March

    They didn't say he *wasn't* a Norse god, they just didn't show him flying around Asgard, and certain people doubted he was who he said he was.

  • June 6, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST

    "The Eeyore of AICN"

    by just pillow talk

    I really needed an afternoon laugh.

  • June 6, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Franklin T Marmoset I got one for ya.

    by nerosday

    Don't feel bad about the shredded shirt thing, I did the same thing when I was 6... only I snuck out to Dad's lawn shed and striped down to my Hulk under roos had my 4 year old brother spray paint, and house paint me three shades of green And THEN ran around with the shredded shirt and pants, which I didn't get permission to ruin and they stuck the wet paint all over me. Yeah, this was back in the day when parents still spanked the hell out of their kids with belts and switches at the drop of a hat. My mom had a field day with that one. They had to shave my head to get the paint out. The myth about never paint yourself completely is true by the way, Georgia in the 90+ degree, 90%+ humidity summer is no place to not be able to sweat, nearly had a heat stroke. But damn I had funny chasing the neighbor’s dog like that. Smartly, I only did it once, but it was so worth it. Ahh... childhood. I miss it so.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    Toadkillerdog, you're right!!!

    by SubliminalJones

    A little research unviels that Fellini was indeed a big fan of Stan Lee and Marvel Comics. Oh my god, can you imagine the sheer unadulterated insanity of a Fellini-esque Marvel film? Or better yet, someone needs to pen a fanciful "Ed Wood" type screenplay about Fellini's Marvel fandom, with him obsessively trying to get an existential Italian superhero film off the ground.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    nerosday

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    thats a great story.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    Mario Puzo was a marvel geek aswell

    by messi

    but found comics hard to write so he wrote the godfather instead.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    SubliminalJones

    by toadkillerdog

    I am not sure, but I seem to recall from reading the letetrs pages of olld FF's (I was a true geek), that Stan was really pushing for a Surfer flick. <p> Surfer- along with Adam Warlock (HIM!), who bored the crap out of me as a kid, appealed to a college counter culture, anti-war segment. I think it was Stans' wet dream to see a big screen Surfer mixing with pot smoking, bell bottom wearing big-haired hippies. With Jimi Hendrix music in the background.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Mr. Nice Gaius

    by messi

    What a fucking idiot. I don't understand how he would prefer such cartoony shite.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:48 p.m. CST

    A Fellini Marvel film?

    by Rickey Henderson

    Man that would've been awesome. Was that actually a serious project, or was it a hoax like the Orson Welles Batman movie that AICN bought into hook line & sinker back in 2003?

  • June 6, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Rickey

    by toadkillerdog

    I do not know if it ever moved beyond the stage of Fellini's infatuation of Marvel characters, and Stan's dreaming, but if it had come off in the 60's, it might have been jaw-droppingly weird - not that it would be bad, just weird.

  • June 6, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Yeah, it would've been experimental

    by Rickey Henderson

    ...much like the Ang Lee version of the Hulk that everyone here loves to trash but Rickey secretly enjoys.

  • June 6, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    If Fellini had been invloved

    by toadkillerdog

    You can just about guarantee that we would have seen the first and last big screen superhero psychedlic gangbang - with subtitles.

  • June 6, 2008, 3:11 p.m. CST

    Either way, Rickey isn't sold on this Hulk nonsense

    by Rickey Henderson

    It's a rehash of the age old "has science gone too far?" theme. An excuse for ILM to create a large green man beating up on people. Rickey is unenthused.

  • June 6, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    messi

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    It's because he sleeps in Batman pajamas and calls himself, "I am Batman". That would be my guess.

  • June 6, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    What up MNG?

    by toadkillerdog

    If you want to seea true dip, look at TopHat over on the generation Kill TB

  • June 6, 2008, 3:21 p.m. CST

    TKD

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    How goes it? Wow, thanks for the tip. TopHat looks to be quite the scumbag. Excellent response though on your part. Kudos!

  • June 6, 2008, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Thanks MNG

    by toadkillerdog

    It goes well. Had a hellacious day on the job, but I can smell the roses!<p> I can't wait to get out of here so I can ride tonight. 90 damn degrees outside!

  • June 6, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    TKD

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    No problem! And I hear ya, man. I'm looking forward to going out and grabbing a few ice-cold cocktails myself.

  • June 6, 2008, 3:35 p.m. CST

    Nerdvana, that's were we are.

    by kirttrik

  • June 6, 2008, 4:05 p.m. CST

    gotham_night

    by Second Try

    Are you retarded? Stick to the goddamn batman.

  • June 6, 2008, 4:31 p.m. CST

    At least Ang Lee tried something different

    by drewlicious

    Otherwise Hulk would have been another standard origin movie. Despite its flaws there was a lot to like. I wasn't expecting the movie to examine repressed memories and Bruce Banners need for his fathers love even if he was an abusive murderous creep. Plus, Sam Elliot is the one cast member I wished would have come back.

  • June 6, 2008, 4:48 p.m. CST

    Marvel Films

    by donkingkong

    Is going to rule, the possibilites man, the possibilites!!!

  • June 6, 2008, 4:54 p.m. CST

    I'm actually frightened of cross-movie continuity

    by WickedJacob

    seems like it has the potential to ruin an awesome franchise by melding it with a lackluster one. Imagine the shittiness that would result from forcing Christian Bale's batman to exist in the rules of the "Superman Returns" universe.

  • June 6, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    Fellini actually wanted to make Mandrake the Magician

    by Chishu_Ryu

    That's what I heard anyway. Maybe the closest he came to a comic book movie was "The White Sheik", a 1952 film about a young bride's obsession with the main character of a popular photo comic book, and gets to meet the people behind the photo book on set.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:03 p.m. CST

    You've all been blisters on my taint

    by Series7

    Hahahaha Reno 911 is funny. <P> Anyways, I am excited to see this now because it sounds like there is actually a bad guy in this movie unlike Iron Man.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Nosferatu Jones, Ang's Hulk was not made for art house snobs

    by Chishu_Ryu

    Ang Lee simply took the material seriously. He took the material and made an Ang Lee movie. The Hulk themes of anger and change and dangers of experimentation are tied with Ang Lee's familiar themes of repression. If Ang Lee took the superhero genre too seriously with Hulk, then maybe he took the kung fu genre too seriously with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, but nobody complains about that film. He was essentially doing the same thing with both films, taking them very seriously.<p> And how does Ang Lee not go back to the roots of the source material when half the film takes place in the freaking DESERT, where practically all of the 60's Stan Lee Hulk stories took place?! AND fighting the military, which was the main adversary in those early stories. And fighting all the different versions of Absorbing Dad had the feel of all those elemental villains the Hulk faced in the early Lee/Trimpe stories like Zzaax, Glob,or Golem. The Hulk in Space scene was also right out of the early Lee/Trimpe stories.

  • June 6, 2008, 6:14 p.m. CST

    Hulk tired. Hulk sit down.

    by Heretic3k

    Wow! One SMASHing review after another. Can't wait to see this one!

  • June 6, 2008, 6:27 p.m. CST

    Another ray of hope

    by Homer Sexual

    Now Massawyrm joins Harry in loving this movie? That's two, and Transporter 2, in particular, is a movie I love. So I am beginning to have hope, despite the very cheap and laughable trailers. BUT....the buzz on this is nowhere near the Iron Man buzz, so it won't hit as hard, regardless of its quality.

  • June 6, 2008, 7:42 p.m. CST

    "HULK DAD SMASH PUNY WIFE!"

    by Chishu_Ryu

  • June 6, 2008, 8:03 p.m. CST

    "HULK LIKE MORMONS. MORMONS LIVE IN DESERT LIKE HULK."

    by Chishu_Ryu

    "AND MORMONS HAVE LOVE WIVES. HULK WANT TO BE LIKE MORMONS WITH LOTS OF WIVES. HULK NEED LOTS OF LOVE."

  • June 6, 2008, 8:21 p.m. CST

    Hulk's shit don't stink.

    by mrfan

    Hulk knows because Hulk smelled it before.<p>Hulk's gas on the other hand very stinky.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:40 p.m. CST

    Horrible Review

    by JackinNYC

    I'm so done with site. Rules! Awesome! Shit! Wow...great, great uh, words. And 'career making' - Unleashed? Really? I just can't read anymore. I really can't.

  • June 6, 2008, 8:43 p.m. CST

    "EVERYBODY A CRITIC! HULK HATE STUPID CRITICS!"

    by Chishu_Ryu

    "HULK SMASH!!"

  • June 6, 2008, 9:11 p.m. CST

    "THAT WHY HULK TAKE PEPTO-BISMOL!"

    by Chishu_Ryu

    "IT HELP WITH HULK-SIZED HEARTBURN AND ANGRY STOMACH!"

  • June 6, 2008, 9:19 p.m. CST

    Rebooting Spider-Man will be tough though

    by Drath

    Both Spider-Man and X-Men were good series (certainly workable) until the third movies ruined almost all the potential of both series. Spider-Man faired better, I think it could still recover despite wasting all the build up with Harry Osbourne (what the hell WAS up with Norman's reflection?) and totally fucking up by killing off Eddie Brock after what ten minutes of him actually being Venom and after convincing me that Topher Grace actually worked in the part. I'm not sure I'll be able to sit through a total reboot at this point--although I'm loving the Spectacular Spider-Man (despite the absence of King Pin--who the fuck let him become exclusive to fucking Daredevil anyway), so maybe a well done reboot would work--and they could certainly find a leaner Parker than Toby Maguire. Still, none of the Spider-Man films were as bad as 75% of the Batman movies before Begins, or Lee's Hulk (which did have some good moments as well). Then there's X-Men. Where to begin? Leaving Cyclops disintigrated in the first act by Phoenix of all people so that Wolverine can be the star just killed that franchise for me. Admittedly the preferential treatment of Wolverine was there before the third movie, but there's a difference between something that can be corrected and something that has to be repaired. They broke that franchise apart and made me antagonistic to the whole thing, which took a whole fucking hell of a lot after how hyped I was after X2. X3 was like if they'd made Alien 3 two years after Aliens and everyone was waiting for the return of the Space Marines and the next assault on the Aliens' home planet (well, actually it's a lot like Alien 3 the way it was come to that, without the "unappreciated auteur" factor that Fincher had). Sigh. It's a crap shoot if fixing those franchises or rebooting them will be more of a hastle. To me it bites a lot that we could lose a the good marriage of certain actors to their roles but who weren't utilized well. It's like losing Jennifer Connely and Sam Elliot as the Rosses for me. All this is getting off the point, I'm looking forward to Hulk thanks to the buzz because frankly I wasn't terrible interested before with the trailers. My own favorite take on the character isn't the dated Bixby series, but the (also dated I'm sure) first season of the 90s animated series, which to me was cool because it connected to other Marvel shows at the time because of SHIELD (gee, sounding familiar much?) and the way it resembled the fugitive yet had an ongoing story with a cast of familiar characters rather than the lone "David" Banner from the Bixby series. But taht too was ruined by its sequel seasons...so I guess the moral here is don't fall in love with a franchise until it's over and can't be ruined by future intsallments...? Wow, that sucks. Forget me, go see the movie and have a good time. Let tomorrow bring whatever shit it's gonna bring.

  • June 6, 2008, 9:22 p.m. CST

    "HULK ESPECIALLY ENJOY CAJUN COOKING!"

    by Chishu_Ryu

    "HULK ALWAYS DROP BY CREOLE KITCHEN WHEN JUMPING THROUGH NEW ORLEANS FOR HULK-SIZED SERVING OF JAMBALAYA!"

  • June 6, 2008, 9:36 p.m. CST

    HILK JUST REALISE....YOU PEOPLE TALKING

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    BOUT HULK..... BETTER BE NICE STUFF.....HULK HATES HATERS......

  • June 6, 2008, 9:37 p.m. CST

    HILK ?????? WTF ....lousy bad typing skills

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    HILK REALLY MAD NOW......

  • June 6, 2008, 9:56 p.m. CST

    Hulk doesn't care for Final Crisis

    by messi

    Puny DC Heroes...Grant Morrison Start slow...Art good...fill in pages not.

  • June 6, 2008, 10:31 p.m. CST

    Drath, what are you rambling on about?

    by WickedJacob

    Hulk could be rebooted so soon because no one saw the other one. Spiderman was pretty popular so it'll be awhile before it could be rebooted, even if it needed it -- which it doesn't. The first 2 were good enough, no more needed for now. Happy to see marvel move on to other properties. Speaking of moving on, I think the conversation has moved over to Harry's review.

  • June 7, 2008, 12:22 a.m. CST

    Not expecting to see astounding CG until...

    by Teddy Artery

    ...Avatar. Even this Hulk looks so phony it's not interesting anymore.

  • June 7, 2008, 1:43 a.m. CST

    "HULK HATE FAKE CGI! HULK SMASH FAKE CGI!"

    by Chishu_Ryu

  • June 7, 2008, 2:11 a.m. CST

    Teddy Artery

    by messi

    So Lord of the Rings didn't have astounding CGI? huh?

  • June 7, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    FridgeMyNuke

    by Chishu_Ryu

    Maybe Roth's character isn't Russian?

  • June 7, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    HULK NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PUNY HUMANS HATE INDY iV

    by Chishu_Ryu

    HULK LIKE LITTLE MONKEYS. LITTLE MONKEYS FRIEND TO HULK.

  • June 7, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    IRON MAN MOCK HULK! IRON MAN HURT HULK!

    by Chishu_Ryu

    HULK HURT BACK STUPID IRON MAN!

  • June 7, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    HULK ALSO HATE PUNY TONY STARK.

    by Chishu_Ryu

    TONY STARK MAKE STUPID DICK JOKES ABOUT HULK ON CNN! SILLY DRUNKEN HUMAN! HULK SMASH STUPID TONY STARK!

  • June 7, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    HULK NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY REBOOT HULK!

    by Chishu_Ryu

    NOBODY REBOOT HULK, BECAUSE HULK IS THE STRONGEST ONE THERE IS!!

  • June 7, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    HULK NO LIKE ANG LEE'S HULK

    by Iowa Snot Client

    I admit it, it was too intelligently made, too artistic, way over my head. What with the Hulk poodles, Nick Nolte literally chewing the scenery, and Hulk wrestling with a giant CGI jellyfish/his dad/the Absorbing Man.

  • June 7, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    HULK SMASH HULK IMPERSONATOR! ^^

    by Chishu_Ryu

    PUNY HUMANS THINK HULK MINDLESS ANIMAL! HULK IS NOT AN ANIMAL! HULK HAVE A BRAIN! ANG LEE UNDERSTAND HULK! ANG LEE FRIEND TO HULK! PUNY HUMAN WITH FUNNY FRENCH NAME BETTER NOT MAKE DUMB HULK MOVIE OR HULK SMASH PUNY HUMAN WITH FUNNY FRENCH NAME!

  • June 7, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    LONG LIVE ANG LEE'S HULK!

    by dr sauch

    Well, I guess I'll see this. Never disagreed with the Wyrm before. But DON'T think I'm going to say its better than Lee's!

  • June 7, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    looks promising, but still liked lee's Huik.

    by Stalkeye

  • June 7, 2008, 3:23 p.m. CST

    Lee's Hulk wasn' t that bad

    by James Ford Coppola

    It wasn't great, but had an ambitious director, a good cast, decent character psychology. The stuff that brought it down was a bad choice for Hulk's face, his skin should have been darker, a crappy villain, and not enough action.<p>This film seems to have fixed those problems. When you add to that Ed Norton and Tim Roth, two of my favourite actors, the chance of it being utter shit is rather small.<p>Leterrier and the situation with Norton are my only worries about this film, so while the reviews here seem kinda suspicious to me, I actually think they might be accurate this time

  • June 7, 2008, 4:49 p.m. CST

    Massa = The Second Best AICN Writer

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    He and Moriarty are far ahead of the pack. Unfortunately, Harry is increasingly falling behind with the likes of Merrick and TheRealMiraJeff (who apparently doesn't do anything for AICN but occasionally write ridiculous, kiddie-pool deep TB posts).<BR><BR>At any rate, well done, Massa. Keep 'em coming.

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