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Guy Ritchie’s Doing Sherlock Holmes?! What Does Warner Bros Know About ROCKNROLLA That We Don’t?!

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. Warner Bros loveses them some Guy Ritchie right now. I saw REVOLVER, so forgive me if I’m confused. I like Ritchie, certainly, but that film suggested a filmmaker who was so far off the reservation that he wasn’t even interested in making films for audiences anymore. I think he’s got great visual ideas, and he can build a sequence in terms of mood and rhythm, and the actual filmmaking craft in REVOLVER is lush and sumptuous. But the film overall is a car wreck and a train crash and a bus explosion all rolled up into one. If I were a studio looking at that film, I’d be at a loss in terms of knowing what to do with him. Can this filmmaker be trusted? Well, they’ve seen ROCKNROLLA by now, and we haven’t, and all of a sudden, Warner Bros is in the Guy Ritchie business in a big way. When I interviewed Joel Silver for the SPEED RACER release, he talked to me about how SGT. ROCK was set to finally find its way in front of the camera with Ritchie directing, the latest name in a long line of people who took their shot at that one. And Silver told me point blank that ROCKNROLLA works, that he thinks it’s awesome, and that it is a turning point for Ritchie as a director. Could it be true? I hope so. I like the idea of his SGT. ROCK, and I am equally intrigued at him replacing Neil Marshall as the guy who wants to write and direct this reinvention of Sherlock Holmes for the 21st century franchise-hungry modern cinema landscape... no small task, indeed. We got this review in recently from a guy that you should take as just one small part in what I’ve personally heard as a rising tide of good buzz on Ritchie’s return to the full-blown gangster romp. I think Gerard Butler’s having a no-shit movie star moment these days, and he’s doing it well. And the rest of the cast is equally interesting. I would love it if this turns out to be as good as this guy says...:

Hey Harry Saw this movie, thought you should know. Use it or lose it. And glad you're feeling good, big guy ... One of the really annoying things about the success of this site and others like it, and the studios subsequent attempts to co-opt them all, is the undoubted preponderance of plants. There was that review here a while back of Repo, the Paris Hilton execrescence, blatantly dictated by someone on the production team. That’s not so bad, everyone spotted the author’s leafiness, because no way is that film not a crock of shit. But where it gets annoying is when your girlfriend gets you in to see a movie that’s not released for a bit, a movie you know that geeks and many more are going to dig with a big old spade, and while you want to tell everyone about it, you feel the need to temper your gibbering praise because of the inevitable talkback suspicion that will ensue. But fuck it, I saw ROCKNROLLA, and it kicked MIGHTY ARSE. And while it doesn’t have the shock of the new, I reckon this is the best of Guy Ritchie’s good movies. And that bar’s pretty damn high. I saw it in London, where it’s set, although the London of the film is totally Ritchiefied. We’re back in Lock Stock and Snatch territory (thank fuck), where everyone has a name like One-Two or Mumbles, and speaks a deranged mockney argot. Come to think of it, they did that in Revolver too, but here we don’t have to deal with Jason Statham shouting at his own ego in a lift for minutes that felt like days. Anyway, from the moment the opening credits not so much kick in as explode onto the screen – up there with Seven, Catch Me If You Can, and The Incredibles, in recent years – it’s clear Ritchie means business. He must know what dogs his last two movies were, he must know he won’t get too many more chances, but despite that, there’s a bravura confidence to this I wasn’t expecting. In the first five minutes we meet about a thousand characters, and if it wasn’t for Mark Strong’s splendidly laconic voiceover you’d be utterly lost. Even with it you’re struggling, but who cares? The camera’s flying around, the performances are mostly spot-on, the music kills. The plot is basically about upstart oligarch Russians taking over London properties from the old-school likes of Lenny Cole, played by the reliably superb Tom Wilkinson. He’s having an extraordinary run right now, and this is a nice addition to the canon. His consigliere is the cool-as-all-shit Mark Strong, and the pair of them rock together. Lenny is owed a serious amount of money – I couldn’t tell you how much, not having understood the mockney slang – by a bunch of would-be gangsters, led by Gerard Butler’s One-Two, and it’s their attempts to get that money, inadvertently sabotaging Lenny’s deals with the Russian mogul every time, that form the central spine of the movie. But like I said, there are any number of other spin-off storylines and characters, including various junkies, thieves, gangsters, pop stars, music promoters (the slightly underused Ludacris and Jeremy Piven), and a scheming accountant, played with drawling deadpan sexiness by Thandie Newton. While not even Guy Ritchie’s agent would argue that he can write good parts for women – anyone remember a female character in Lock Stock? Or Snatch? And then there’s Swept Away, which makes you glad there weren’t any women in the others – at least here the single note he gives Newton to play is a good one, and she seems to be having a fine old time. As do all the others. Gerard Butler finds a nice line in self-mockery; he and Newton have a spectacularly uncool dancing scene together that drew howls of laughter from the audience. He’s kind of a dork, and all the cooler for it. Also in his crew are Idris Elba and Tom Hardy, whose romantic yearnings form the basis for some of the best jokes in the movie. But the standout performance, the one that really makes you feel you’re watching a new star beginning to shine, is that of Toby Kebbell. He made a good impression in the magnificent Dead Man’s Shoes, and I remember him in Control, but not a lot else. In fact, nothing else. But here, as the dissolute rock star Johnny Quid, he just fucking blazes. Women will want to do him (my girlfriend was stuck to her seat), men will want to be him; basically, the world is his to own. Or it would be, if Ritchie didn’t have it in his pocket already. Reannouncing himself as a superb director both of set-pieces – a STUNNING chase scene where Butler is pursued by two Russian heavies who absolutely will not stop – and pure comedy – the aforementioned dance scene, the shortest sex scene in the world, and many more - Ritchie is on top form here. And as a writer, he’s having fun again. There’s no Kabbalahian subtext to distract, annoy or confuse. There’s just a cool story to tell, and a party to be had telling it. It’s not a perfect film. A couple of the performances don’t really work, and occasionally it loses itself in needless exposition, as if it doesn’t realise what a good time we’re having in our ignorance. But basically it fucking pegs along, looking great and sounding even better, until the cool and genuinely surprising twist in the tail. And then, in typically confident style, the film ends by announcing that a sequel will be coming soon, which is a) good news and b) a flat-out ballsy move considering that this one hasn’t even opened yet. But judging from the audience response throughout, and the applause at the end, the sequel will be coming, and I’ll see you there. Let the mistrust begin. For a few months. Then you’ll see it, and know I was right. PROFESSOR MARCUS
Readers Talkback
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  • June 4, 2008, 4:55 a.m. CST

    Let me guess, Holmes will fall in love...

    by JackPumpkinhead

    ...and his love will be played by Grandmadonna. And Guy saw the storyline while reading that collection of fairy tales of his, right? (Oh, I'm sorry, I meant: that deeply religious book that is his guide.) <p> Why not go and shoot the sequel to that desert island movie of his?

  • June 4, 2008, 4:56 a.m. CST

    by Jack Spyder

    first heh my firs time's first mori, where's my The Incredible Hulk review with no spoilers, mate? I mean, the one you will do.

  • June 4, 2008, 4:57 a.m. CST


    by random dude

  • June 4, 2008, 4:58 a.m. CST

    They'll make Holmes an alien

    by random dude

    ...with a crystal skeleton.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:04 a.m. CST

    Ritchie instead of Marshall?

    by Knuckleduster

    Have they lost their fuckin minds? I don't care how good RockNRolla is. He's no Neil Marshall.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:05 a.m. CST

    Toby Kebbell was absolutely fantastic in Control

    by IndustryKiller!

    A movie people here should really check out as it seems to have gotten lost in the mainstream shuffle here in the states. Most of the film aficionados I know still haven't even seen it or heard of it. Which is ridiculous. I still feel Sam Riley gave one of the best performances of last year, better than most of the Oscar nominees. Just a beautiful subtle performance. And yeah I'm a huge Joy Division fan but I'm saying this with all the lack of bias I can muster.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:10 a.m. CST

    they should look at the Mark Waid comic "Ruse"

    by IndustryKiller!

    For a new Sherlock Holmes. A great but short lived comic from the now defunct CrossGen label. The character pretty much was sherlock holmes but the writing was incredible and the atmosphere seemed to come right off the page. I always hoped they would make a film of it someday but Waid ended up quitting the series early on for some reason and crossgen went under so there's probably no chance of that happening.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:12 a.m. CST

    Bout fucking time Guy

    by thinboyslim.

    Ever since Snatch I've been waiting but noooo you had to pander to your pop star girlfriend with swept away and kick us in the nuts with revolver, good thing you side stepped layer cake or the whole playing card pyramid would of come down. couldn't give 2 shits about some 21C holmes story i'd rather go back and watch the great mouse detective unless of course holmes is gonna fuck sienna miller.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:13 a.m. CST

    I'm not your buddy, guy...

    by tomdolan04

    Im not your guy, friend!

  • June 4, 2008, 5:16 a.m. CST

    I half agree Yackbacker

    by IndustryKiller!

    I like Lockstock and I love Snatch and while their both somewhat hollow they have character to spare. But I agree that Layer Cake bests them both. Just a fucking balls out awesome film and Daniel Craig's performance and character rings a bit more true than anything in any of Ritchie's films, giving it a layer (no pun) of depth and the edge over Ritchie. I also felt Vaughn's more subtle steady camera worked well in that flick but was absolutely horrible in Stardust, which was about as dull and lifeless as fairy tales get. Although I have some friends who disagree.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:18 a.m. CST

    wow thats twice in one day...

    by IndustryKiller!

    that I said "their" when I should have used "they're"....ugh

  • June 4, 2008, 5:21 a.m. CST

    Wait, their re-making Holmes for the 21st century??!!

    by Gabba-UK

    What the hell does that mean? That scares me. I love Holmes. Rathbone's interpretation set the bar, then Jeremy Bretts come's in the 80's with the superb ITV series, took the bar, smelted it, turned into a rocket and sent the fucker to Mars!!! Now Richie is in charge of it?? The same Guy Richie that made Revolver?? I tell you Rocknrolla better kick arse because if it doesn't and his next film is Holmes, possibly my favourite literary character of all time and the one that in my dreams of being in the movies, I'm playing, I ain't going to be happy..

  • June 4, 2008, 5:25 a.m. CST

    I'd watch Ritchie over Marshall any day!


    Marshall has absolutely 0% ideas of his own at least Guy Ritchie does some cool stuff!<P>Lock Stock was fun, Snatch I thought was good, Swept away or whatever that thing was with his wife in it was watchable but weird and Revolver was good to look at but mad in the head and I still have no idea if it made any sense!?<P>Glad to hear he's back making the Mokney Gangster stuff again even if he is a bit of a sham himself.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:28 a.m. CST

    Ugh indeed...

    by Gabba-UK

    Now I'm saying 'their' instead of 'they're'.... I need to start re-reading some of the classics. My own use of my native tongue is getting very sloppy!

  • June 4, 2008, 5:47 a.m. CST

    Anyone in New York City want a free....

    by Bobo_Vision

    ...double pass to a screening of "Kung Fu Panda" for tonight. I can't go, so if anyone wants it, I'll email it to ya.

  • June 4, 2008, 6:02 a.m. CST

    No franchise will go unfucked!

    by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World

    Jesus christ COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW SOMEBODY, FUCKING ANYBODY, I know it's too late and no amount of bitching is going to save Sherlock Holmes from this assholes fuckery, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to be pissed about it anyway. He's like a slightly less annoying and headache inducing but more boring Tony Scott.

  • June 4, 2008, 6:09 a.m. CST

    The Emperor's New Film?

    by Boba Fat

    Unoriginal, regurgitated, mockney toss. I really dislike this Guys (pun intended) films and find the upper class, hard on he's got for gangsters pretty repellent.

  • June 4, 2008, 6:10 a.m. CST


    by The Real MiraJeff

    Fucking rocks. And while I see way too much of Industry Killer in AICN's talkbacks, he's spot-on about Toby and Control. Control was a top 10 film last year that peaked too early. Sam Riley gave one of the top 5 performances of the year, no small feat in a field that automatically includes Day-Lewis and Bardem. Kebbell is fantastic as Joy Division's manager. Can't wait to see RocknRolla even though, as Moriarty so eloquently put it, Revolver was stylized shite. This Sherlock Holmes thing sounds fucking cool. It's about time they do something interesting with that character. I feel like my generation has been deprived of ole Sherlock, so here's hoping Guy and Co. have a solid mystery up their sleeves.

  • June 4, 2008, 6:10 a.m. CST

    FilmFunk is the Studio Plant

    by crazybubba

    Anyone with the balls to say Swept Away was a watchable movie is an obvious studio mole. Someone call Anderson Cooper.

  • June 4, 2008, 6:20 a.m. CST

    young sherlock holmes

    by Mr_X

    that movie was shite!

  • June 4, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST


    by Boba Fat

    Spot on!

  • June 4, 2008, 7:12 a.m. CST


    by DocPazuzu

    ...was unbelievably awful, but there's something oddly hypnotic about the whole affair. I don't even think Ritchie knew what the fuck was going on in that script, but it's a gorgeous cinematic ride to nowhere. <p> As for Snatch, I absolutely love it. Sure, it's superficial and derivative, but made with such panache that it can be excused for all that. It's also still one of the funniest movies made in the last ten years. <p> As far as I'm concerned, Snatch and Lock Stock still go a long way in making me optimistic about RocknRolla.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    That was fucking brilliant. Especially the Snatch gag.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:14 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    Cretin. Marshall's filmography is so far better than Ritchie's. <P>And Swept Away is not only awful, but a REMAKE. Curse you Ritchie, curse you you wannabe gangsta Mockney grandma-shagging hack

  • June 4, 2008, 7:19 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    Revolver is meant to be about Kabbalah. Damned if I could work out how.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:22 a.m. CST

    "Revolver is meant to be about Kabbalah."

    by DocPazuzu

    Are you shitting me? That's the funniest thing I've read all week! What a perfect excuse for any director who makes a shit movie! <p> Die hard 4? <p> "You don't get it -- it's KABBALISTIC." <p> Indy 4? <p> "It's a fridge escape straight from the Kabbalah."

  • June 4, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    God's honest truth

    by Lost Jarv

    I can't remember where I read it, but apparently that's the hidden meaning that no-one can make out. <P>I blame Madonna for this. No-one in Britain had heard of that shit until she decided to come here.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Die Hard 4 wasn't THAT bad

    by Lost Jarv

    It was the Indy 4 of last summer.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    Guy Ritchie

    by kwisatzhaderach

    If that dude wasn't married to Madonna there's no way he'd still be getting work.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by DocPazuzu

    So what you're saying is, there's good, mediocre, bad and then there's Kabbalistic. <p> I can buy that.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Snooze- This shit is for people who...

    by wilsonfisk89

    Thought Boondock Saints was like the coolest moovie everr! No thanks.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Oh, and Ritchie is Maddonna's Bitch Boy now.

    by wilsonfisk89

    You ever see an interview w the 2 of them, she holds his testes in her pocket, and he keeps quiet, scared to open his euncich mouth.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Kudos Pondscum!

    by Fixthe Fernback


  • June 4, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    Kabbalistic= opposite of Changian. <P>Changian representing all that is awesome in the world, of course.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Richie/Vaughn/Marshall Blah!

    by Series7

    No I like Richie and Marshall, and Vaughn did a good British remake of Carlitos Way (haven't seen Stardust, but I've read Kick Ass). But seriously I would like to see Danny Boyle do Sherlock Holms (since only a British director should be allowed to do it) all those directors are trying to catch up to Boyle and I would like to see him take on a franchise. Seriously, all the tricks those directors use, they got from Boyle. OR I would like to see Shane Meadows take on Holms, get a grittier meanier Holms movie. Both Meadows and Boyle are better directors then the other three.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    So I guess im the only one

    by Fuzhi

    who loved Revolver ? By far the best Richie movie imho

  • June 4, 2008, 8:04 a.m. CST

    Meadows maybe

    by Lost Jarv

    Boyle. No. <P>Boyle is massively derivative, and until 28 days it looked like he'd fucked his career right up with a string of mediocre to downright dreadful efforts. <P>So far Marshall is ahead of Boyle, but we'll see. <P>I liked Stardust, but it ain't no Princess Bride. Howver, both Vaughn and Marshall are better than Richie. <P>And Fuzhi- Revolver was shit. Deal with it.

  • June 4, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    guy ritchie+sherlock holmes:oooooh yesss

    by pipergates

    Revolver was not bad at all, it was just very odd. Maybe a bit self indulgent, but very well done.

  • June 4, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Series7

    Dude Marshall is not ahead of Boyle. As much as I liked Doomsday and Spelunking, but non of these guys will ever touch Trainspotting. Plus while Doomsday showed us that Neil can make a fruit salad with genre films, lets see him take each one of those different genres and make a singular film in them (besides horror). Plus with 28 days and Sunshine boyle is back, though it says he is directing some David Alan Grier TV show or something? I don't know what thats all about David AG stopped being funny once we all realized he was the least funniest person on In Living Color (and that not even the Wayans brothers would cast him when they were making bank (aka he's in Little Man)).

  • June 4, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Rufus Sewell as Holmes i say!

    by pipergates

    He's got a fine unsettling piercing gaze for the solving of mysteries! Jim Broadbent could be a funny Watson.

  • June 4, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    I meant after 3 films-

    by Lost Jarv

    Dog Soldiers> Shallow grave <P>Trainspotting> Descent <P>Doomsday>>>>>>>>Life Less wank. <P>The first 2 are closer though, and I can be talked into Shallow Grave been better than Dog Soldiers. <P>I do agree that Marshall has only made Genre films so far, but I would argue Descent is a "singular" film.

  • June 4, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Adrien Brody IS Holmes

    by terry1978

    Game, set, match.

  • June 4, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    I've been saying for a decade now...

    by rbatty024

    that Geoffrey Rush should play Sherlock Holmes. Are you listening Richie? Take note. <p> There's no way Marshall tops Boyle. Although, give credit where credit is due. At least both of these directors are making original stories. That can't be said for many American directors.

  • June 4, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    I meant after 3 films.

    by Lost Jarv

    Don't forget that Boyle's third film is the unbelievably shit Life Less Ordinary. Overall, obviously Boyle creams Marshall.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    I see where you're coming from Jarv.

    by rbatty024

    The Beach was mediocre as well. Interesting but mediocre. It's pretty sad when Americans have to look across the Atlantic for original genre films.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Revolver was magnificent!

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    Original filmmaking at its best. And it looked fucking fantastic. Cant understand the hate for Ritchie.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST


    by tiredpm

    ...agree with the others above, that was a fantastic post. I've now got Statham's voice in my head doing intros for just about everything.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    No it isn't

    by Lost Jarv

    It's what he said at the time.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    I Respect His Ambition

    by cowboyone

    Moriarty is right, Ritchie's visual sense is great. Sure, Revolver was kind of a mess, but at least he was TRYING to bring some extra layers to it. I'm psyched to see him getting back into his groove and I'd love to see him tackle Holmes and Sgt. Rock.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Yeah, why does everyone hate Guy Ritchie?

    by rbatty024

    I loved Lock Stock and I loved its remake, Snatch, even more. <p> Seriously though, he is a bit of a one trick pony. I avoided Swept Away like the plague and I have yet to see Revolver so maybe Ritchie will surprise me. Granted, I did enjoy both Lock Stock and Snatch. He's got a good visual style but I would love for him to branch out a little.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Why everyone hates Richie-

    by Lost Jarv

    very easy, Lock Stock and Snatch were great, albeit very similar. <P>However, the tide turned against him when he married Madonna then Swept Away was SO awful and he cast his wife that the mood really soured. He then was at least 5 years before Revolver, which turned out to be pish, and there was the stupid Kaballah thing. <P>He doesn't deserve it.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Paul Bettany as Holmes

    by cowboyone

    Sure Brody LOOKS the part, but he's a yank! Holmes HAS to be a REAL Brit. Paul Bettany has the chops. Geoffrey Rush is too little, old and squirrely.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Series7

    Yeah Doomsday was better then Life, but I put Shallow over Dog Soliders. But I am talking in terms as of right now. Millions/28 Days/Sunshine were all very good films. Plus I think Boyle could update Sherlock without taking it over the top. Plus I would like to see how Boyle handles an already established series. Either way all of these filmakers are making interesting movies, which is better then bland movies. <P> For those of you that want an more classic approach to Sherlock, Kenneth Branagh. He can direct and star or direct and Michael Caine can star, with Timothy Spall as watson. Just don't go too old and use Ian McKellen or Christopher Lee (even though they are only 10 years older then Cain). <P> As for who would be an updated Sherlock I'd say Paddy Constitine or possible Steve Coogan (though I think it may come off as too comical). Either way Timothy Spall has to be Watson. Just as long as they don't use big names like Viggo/Law/Bloom/Depp. And for some reason Iam Holm needs to be in there.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:32 a.m. CST

    Alan Richtman as Holmes

    by cowboyone

    would also be great. He's a joy to watch, but I bet they'll go young for sequel/franchise reasons.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    It's weird that not even Swept Away annoyed me as much...

    by DerLanghaarige anything that Tarantino has made past Reservoir Dogs. Except that it was boring and miscast (and I'm not just talking about Madonna!) it wasn't the end of our world, like so many people who hate everything Madonna does onscreen said it is. (Even if I'm not critizising them for hating Madonna.) BTW: Am I the only one who thinks that Ritche and Marshall should team up!?

  • June 4, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    continuing the Control love-in

    by Cedar_Room

    I agree that Toby Kebbell was fantastic in a thoroughly fantastic film. Hope he tears it up in this new film and I would love for Ritchie to comeback in awesome style - his first two films are both great and I really think Ritchie is a very talented director who happened to lose his way slightly by the interference of his mentalist missus.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    I think we basically agree

    by Lost Jarv

    If Marshall gets to make 7 films do you want to have this conversation again?

  • June 4, 2008, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Series7 I agree 100% on Ian Holm.

    by rbatty024

    In fact Ian Holm should retroactively be placed into every film ever made. It would do wonders to the world of cinema. Just off the top of my head I think he would do wonders for the Peter Lorre part in Casablanca.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    So one whole sentence here was about Holmes?

    by TheSeeker7

    It's half of the headline, and then barely mentioned in the article. Am I missing something? You said he's replacing Neil Marshall as if everyone of us of course knew exactly who Neil Marshall is and what his plans were for the film. It'd be nice to actually get a bit more info on that part of it.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    If you don't know who Neil Marshall is

    by Lost Jarv

    then you really are on the wrong site.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    I say good day sir!

    by Series7

    Sure I'll see you in like 10ish years?

  • June 4, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Series7

    HAHAHAHAHAAHHA. I guess the other 7 has never gone bug nuts over something? The review of Doomsday is still on the homepage if you want to learn about Neil.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Hugh Laurie for Holmes

    by ShallowGrave

    Wait...I already get that weekly on FOX, but he would be perfect in an authentic Holmes film.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    What's the point of modernizing Sherlock Holmes?

    by IAmLegolas

    What then is going to make it any different than any detective show on TV or in the theaters right now? Sounds more like trying to attach name recognition to a sub-standard modern day detective story. Let me be the first to cry SHINO! SHINO!!!!

  • June 4, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    True, Jarv, Neil Marshall is Essential

    by Sgt.Steiner

    LostJarv, I must say, "Doomsday" is probably the best Carpenter film not directed by Carpenter. And I still stand my ground on the "Revolver" issue. Amidst its lush visual palette and philosphical discussions on games of chance,it does feature, in my opinion, Statham's 2nd best performance(that would be "Crank") and great supporting turns from Mark Strong as the truly odd hitman Sorter, as well as Andre Benjamin and Vinnie Pastore as a pair of loan sharks. And the idea of enabling one to intimidate an opponent in chess or life by making that opponent question their own abilities, capacity, and thus, sanity, is one of the more fascinating ideas I've seen put forth on screen. The film is, in essence, the "Seven Seal" of gangster films. And the animated sequence is priceless.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Oh, and CONTROL ...

    by IAmLegolas

    ... is the best film nobody saw last year.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    I know.

    by Sgt.Steiner

    Sorry, Ingmar. I need to fucking proofread.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    Hey you must like Boyle films. What would you think of him doing Sherlock. Also now that you mention House and how its like Sherlock, I just realized that if they update Holms it'll probably come off as a CSI rerun.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    Dude I watch Crank again a couple weeks back for the first time since theaters, and I really don't think it held up at all. I really thought it was so bad ass when I saw it in theaters, but watching it again is was very meh? Same with Transporter 2. Thats why I don't understand some people when they say they'll wait for DVD, it just isn't the same and I have an above average TV set up.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    When they say update for the 21st century...

    by rbatty024

    do they mean make the old stories work for a 21st century audience or do they mean place the old stories in the 21st century? I hope to god it's not the latter. That's an incredibly bad idea.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST


    by Lost Jarv

    This was very civil, wasn't it.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Sherlock Holmes and the case of the that Shit

    by picardsucks

    was Dope mothafuckin shit, shit starring Fiddy as Holmes and Justin Timberlake as Watson Good lord I hate most of Hollywood

  • June 4, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST


    by Tony Is A Little Boy

  • June 4, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Christopher Nolan to direct Sherlock Holmes.

    by Knuckleduster

    You want us to take him seriously as a character and a new franchise? Get Nolan. Still hesitant? Watch The Prestige again.

  • June 4, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST


    by Series7

    NO just for the same reason that I don't want Christian Bale to be the new Sherlock Holms. I wanna see someone else step up to the plate.

  • June 4, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    I second that

    by Lost Jarv

    Nolan is great, but lets see someone else.

  • June 4, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Whatever happened too...

    by mr_macphisto

    ...that Holmes vs. Dracula script from a while back? Love to see that on the big screen.

  • June 4, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST


    by henrydalton

    Oooh, that felt good.

  • June 4, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Revolver made me want to...

    by Icht Buff

    vomit all over the television and keep vomiting until all my guts were on the outside. It was awful with a capital A. So ridiculously self indulgent, so inaccessible to, well, everyone. But I digress, I thought Snatch and Lock, Stock were very fun and exceptionally entertaining and the idea of another film like that from Ritchie gives me a nice warm cuddly feeling..

  • June 4, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST


    by Sepulchrave

    Lock, Stock was garbage as has been everything else he's made. Cock-rubbing shite that makes dickless limey man feel good.

  • June 4, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    ROCKNROLLA sounds OK....

    by football

    Having avoided his previous efforts due to bad reviews, I'm sure it's more than possible for Ritchie to regain his credibility again. Though his update on Holmes might be a stretch too far. No one wants to see Sherlock with an Uzi and smoking crack from his pipe. What's the betting he plays an electric guitar instead of a violin? Oh boy, this could really suck.

  • June 4, 2008, 3:37 p.m. CST

    By the way, it's not really "Holmes for the 21st century"...

    by JackPumpkinhead

    The 21 just means that "Holmes" will be played by a 21-year old. Wanna bet? And his sidekick, "Doc" Watson, will be a wisecracking black rapper.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:02 p.m. CST

    Series7 and Jarv

    by Knuckleduster

    Bale is obviously a no-no for Holmes. We need someone older. Someone with that Holmes look (and that famous nose). But I really do think Nolan would deliver something new and smart. Also, it might be a good idea since he's not doing another Batman movie (so he says).<p> Anyway, if not Nolan, do you have any other suggestions?

  • June 4, 2008, 5:28 p.m. CST


    by 300 monkeys

    Okay I figure if I weigh in whenever someone p's me off, the least I can do is occasionally say something nice to somebody: that was hilarious and absolutely spot on. Great job.

  • June 4, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    What happened to that Dracula vs Sherlock HOlmes script

    by hallmitchell

    Which I read about on this site? How about Guy Ritchie do that?

  • June 4, 2008, 6 p.m. CST

    Best Holmes update

    by 300 monkeys

    Bill Pullman in Zero Effect, with a just pre-stardom Ben Stiller as his disgruntled Watson. Terrific film.

  • June 4, 2008, 6:19 p.m. CST

    I could _NEVER_ fuck Madonna

    by lord_zedd

    Much less marry her and adopt random black babies.

  • June 4, 2008, 6:54 p.m. CST


    by ShallowGrave

    Shore has said House is a medicial Holmes-- Opiate-addicted, musical, hermetic, only called in for impossible cases. Oh and House's apartment is 221-B. But really, Hugh Laurie needs a theatrical break-in with American audiences. He's too gifted to stay on the small screen for too much longer. I hope this comes true like when I called Spacey for Lex Luthor in '97.

  • June 4, 2008, 7:14 p.m. CST

    Zero Effect IS a Sherlock Holmes movie

    by SnootyBoots

    Yeah, it's set in modern day Portland, but Bill Pullman is a version of Sherlock, Ben Stiller is a version of Watson, Kim Dickens is a version of Irene Adler and the movie is clearly an adaptation of Doyle's story A Scandal In Bohemia. Has Jake Kasdan ever fessed up to this?

  • June 4, 2008, 7:18 p.m. CST

    Reinventing Holmes? Let me guess-Sam Jackson

    by KongMonkey

    Motherfucking elementary, Watson. Motherfucking elementary.

  • June 4, 2008, 8:10 p.m. CST

    Madonna's vulva....

    by Bobo_Vision

    ...probably feels like the Kaballah written in braille...if you know what I mean. Muis bumpy.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:32 p.m. CST

    At least Ritchie had two good films...

    by Tourist

    ...And it seems people have seen something in his new one. Neil Marshall hasn't even made one complete watchable film yet. Of course you would be more likely to trust Ritchie.

  • June 4, 2008, 9:34 p.m. CST


    by Tourist

    ...Am I the only one who thought all they meant by a Holmes for the 21st century was just, well, a new big budget franchise, as opposed to literally movie the character forward in time?

  • June 4, 2008, 9:36 p.m. CST

    Dude from Shanghai Knights

    by slugbat

    As Sherlock!

  • June 4, 2008, 9:41 p.m. CST

    Usually love to bath in the "hate" meself

    by slugbat

    But I loves me some Guy Ritchie. You guys are talking like he's Lucasian or even Smithian... I like his style.

  • June 4, 2008, 10 p.m. CST


    by Playhouse

    I think you're right. Sounds like a big budget turn-of-tne-last-century period piece. With a shit ton more action. I've gotta say that the swashbuckling Sherlock that they are floating about doesn't sound all that appealing.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:02 p.m. CST

    Zero Effect

    by Playhouse

    I wish Kasdan could've continued the character. I thought this wasa perfect update of the Holmes stories.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:13 p.m. CST

    I llke Sherlock and I like Rock. I even like Guy a little.

    by kabong

    But I've got bad feelings about Guy doing Sherlock and Rock. <p> Let's go, Easy Co.

  • June 4, 2008, 10:41 p.m. CST


    by antonphd

    I think that Revolver was a great film. I really enjoyed it. It wasn't a standard film in any way, but film doesn't have to be standard to enjoy. I think that Guy made a great piece of experimental art. It was a mix of dreams and chess and life. It wasn't for everyone. As a computer scientist and game developer and an ex minister and graphic artist... it was a great film. I don't know how many people like me are out there, so, yeah, not a great mass audience movie. Still, sometimes is great to watch a director make a movie for themselves. There are no rules in art if you don't care about making money from it. :)

  • June 4, 2008, 11:20 p.m. CST


    by loogenhausen

    Revolver is a masterpiece compared to Southland Tales.

  • June 5, 2008, 12:06 a.m. CST


    by slugbat

    lol actually I haven't seen those two. They seem experimental, or maybe they're just plain shite. Fuck it, he's still got my goodwill for LockStock and Snatch. And I'll take retarded experiments over gay-ass CGI Gophers any day -- yep, I'm all class.

  • June 5, 2008, 1:13 a.m. CST

    Who mentioned Southland Tales!?

    by Tourist

    What did you do that for? Stop saying its name and maybe we can forget it ever happened.

  • June 5, 2008, 2:53 a.m. CST


    by vestaxwax

    IAmLegolas: i saw it and like it so much i can't stop writing about it:

  • June 5, 2008, 4:14 a.m. CST

    Perfect Holmes Film

    by DGrayson

    Director = Chris Nolan Holmes = Hugh Laurie Watson = Anthony Head Moriarty = Alan Rickman

  • June 5, 2008, 4:17 a.m. CST

    This is England> Control

    by Lost Jarv

    This is true. But both are excellent.

  • June 5, 2008, 6:25 a.m. CST


    by acorvey25

    Brilliant casting. I always thought Nolan would be the perfect director but I didn't have a clue who would play Holmes. Laurie would own that role. Fuck. Now there's no way I'll enjoy Ritchie's version...

  • June 5, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Timothy Spall

    by Series7

    As Watson! Or Ian Holm. No one else.

  • June 5, 2008, 6:49 p.m. CST

    Yo Holmes!

    by bswise

    Nowhere does it say that Mr. Madonna II will be making a "21st century Sherlock Holmes," which is just a lame network tv kind of idea. However, the Variety article does say that they'll make Holmes more "adveturous" and feature Holmes' boxing skills and swordsmanship. Great, so will be getting an action Holmes who punches and stabs a bunch of people. I'm thinking Clive Owen as Holmes and Stratham as Doc Watson. At the end of the movie, after ye ole Hong Kong-style shoot-out, they'll run in slow motion from an expanding fireball and jump into the Thames just in time. OK, maybe it won't be that bad, but Jeremy Bret was the Sherlock Holmes to end all. The Needle, Watson!

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