Latauro Kicks Off A Giant Fistful Of INDY 4 Reviews From All Over The Place!

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. One of the things I forgot to mention in my review is that there are few pleasures more pure in this world that watching someone beat the ever-lovin’ shit out of Harrison Ford to the sound of those Ben Burtt punches. Seriously. That’s right up there with the smell of baking cookies or holding your child. There’s one beating in particular in this film that made me cackle. I mean it as the highest compliment possible when I say that Harrison Ford has a face that was designed to be punched. Things are heating up all over the place as the reviews of INDY 4 come streaming in. Earlier tonight, Harry called me to explain that he has stricken the name “Mr. Beaks” from his lists, tearing at his clothing like Lawrence Olivier in THE JAZZ SINGER at just how much Jeremy’s review over at CHUD made him cry. I think at this point, this sort of blood-feud reaction to Spielberg and Lucas films is to be expected. I’m going to throw a little more fuel on the fire for conversation’s sake with this giant batch of reviews here. Waaaaaaay too many to give each one an individual article, but all worth your time because of the range of reactions on display. First up... AICN-Down Under’s Latauro, with a review that reflects what I think a lot of people will feel: ambivalence. I got a call from Kraken in Austin while I was driving my family home from the film today. “Hey, man... what the hell did we just watch?” I think that bizarre shock of the new combined with the time-machine flashback nostalgic punch might account for that reaction. It’s strange, even now as I edit these reviews, to think that I just drove 20 minutes today and saw a new Indiana Jones film. I sort of don’t believe I even saw it. I think with STAR WARS, some part of me always expected or even demanded that we would see more films. With INDY, I honestly believed it was finished. Anyway... here’s Latauro first:

If there's an editorial policy at AICN, I'm yet to hear about it, but my guess would be that it has something to do with gonzoing up your review with aspects of your own life. This is not a facetious thing to do, incidentally; everybody's reaction is, of course, very subjective, and it's bordering on the dishonest to not take those elements into account when discussing the film you're reviewing. So, without giving you the unnecessary details, my mind was pretty much elsewhere for most of today. I've just had a pretty insane weekend, and getting my head into any film today was not easy. This is, without a doubt, something that could taint my opinion. On the flipside, I remember the very first time my dad showed RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK to my brother and I, I have a very distinct memory of seeing the throbbing heart from TEMPLE OF DOOM when I was young, and because the only Indy film we had on tape was LAST CRUSADE, I can pretty much do the whole film by heart. This is, without a doubt, something that could taint my opinion. Basically, if I end up hating the film, you can put it down to my head not being in it, and if I end up loving it, you can blame it on a childhood that was geared very much towards Indiana Jones movies. I say "if I end up", because it's been hours and I still don't know what I thought of the film. Usually, I try to sort my opinions out before I put fingers to keys, but I'm stuck. I've studiously avoided reading all the reviews that have popped up online since I saw the film, as I'm pretty sure that any negative or any positive argument will, if written with enough gusto, influence me at this point. So I'm going to try to figure out my feelings on the film as write. Hey, fourth paragraph. Time I actually discussed the movie. Firstly, I'm going to state right now that the sequence I'm sure will become known as the Jeep Sequence is amongst the best action we've seen in the entire series. It's masterful stuff, and remind me of -- prepare to be pissed off -- the massive multi-battle sequence from two thirds of the way through PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2. That scene was some of the best adventure movie choreography I'd ever seen, and the Jeep Sequence matches it in terms of scale and boldness. Oh, and excitement. I won't pretend I wasn't enjoying the absolute hell out of the scene like some detached critic, 'cos I was perched in my seat with a massive grin on my face. It's great stuff. Between this and the first motorcycle sequence with Indy and Mutt, there's definitely some great stuff in this film. But there's definitely some stuff I'm not wild about. Firstly, the plotting. I think this was the thing that has given me difficulty in placing my finger on how I felt about the film, because the plotting and pacing seems like it's designed to detach you. I don't quite understand what the FBI's suspicions of Indy's communist sympathies have to do with the film (be it in text or subtext), and I don't think the flow of the central mysteries works the way it might have on paper. There was a glory to the plotting of the original films, and I think that's lacking here. Or is it my own distorted memories and prejudices getting in the way of that? I say that, because as with anything major from your past, it's hard to remove your memory of it from the fact of it. As much as I'm questioning my own memory of the films, I'm questioning Lucas's memory of his own property. (I'm not just picking on Lucas because it's fun to, though it is. Of the three credited screenwriters, Lucas is undoubtedly the most powerful force. Also, he has a history of missing the point of his own properties, and precedent rules.) There's also a big sign that these guys are starting to grow old; INDIANA JONES is now a family affair. This can't come as a huge shock, given we all pretty much know who Shia La Bouef's Mutt really is, and we all know Marion Ravenwood was coming back, and we know they were pushing for a return of Henry Jones Snr. What's surprising is how unrelenting this family thing is. Sure, Indy has to grow up some time, but he's at least sixty here, and if it hasn't happened yet, it ain't happening soon. Why the rush now? But no, suddenly priorities have shifted, and the Indiana Jones we're used to is not the one we're shown on screen. I'm at loathe to reveal the final scene to you, but it pretty much sums up everything I'm trying to say here. The second thing I have a problem with is that this film is, essentially, INDIANA JONES AND THE FEAR OF KNOWLEDGE. I don't know where this has come from, but there's a disturbing vein permeating the story that seems to suggest that Knowing Things Is Bad. Sure, Indy is an archeologist, but he's an adventurer first and foremost. When we see him in a bow tie standing in front of his class, it's for comic effect. At least, that's how it seems in this film. A bit like painting him as a bit of a square is there so his transformation to Indiana Jones: Adventurer is all the more emphatic. Then you've got the student in the library who, when faced with a hint of real world adventure, asks about his reading, and is told by Indy to "get out of the library". Yes, it's a comic moment, and a great one, but the message is impossible to shake. Following that, advice given to Mutt suggests that finishing school isn't in the slightest bit important to Indy (until, of course, he discovers their true connection, and his sudden concern for Mutt's schooling becomes, again, comical more than anything else; we get the feeling that his earlier advice was the "true" stuff). Then, the final piece (massive spoiler to follow): the villain meets her destruction because she craves knowledge. It would be easy to put this down to the Era of W, but I seriously doubt that anyone involved in the making of the film actually admires the US President. Still, there's the unshakable feeling that this film has succumbed to the mistrust that many Americans are, by and large, perceived as having towards those who seek knowledge. (It's okay, I'm not accusing anyone reading this of such things; you guys are all right.) Maybe the previous films have had the same themes in them, and it's just my tainted memory painting over them, but I don't think that's the case. I think the evidence is there, and it's loud and clear. Back to the stuff you actually care about, Karen Allen is awesome. It's great to see her back, even if her appearance does help suggest that the plot of this film is a bit of a "best of" from the earlier films. Shia La Bouef is great as Mutt, and as much as I generally like him, I wasn't sure if he had the charisma to take on the mantle next time out. (Come on, we all knew they were building a new franchise around him even before the recent Lucas quote.) Though the fact that this film serves as a pilot to the new series is fairly irritating, I'm not going to be sorry to see Shia take centre stage next time out. I'm struggling a bit now, as I'm clearly nearing the end of the review, and I'm still not one hundred per cents sure I feel about it. Sure, there are elements I love, and there are elements that bothered the hell out of me, but did it succeed as a complete work? What will I think about it years from now? Jesus, what do I think about it now? It's impossible for me to say, but perhaps that's the most telling thing that there is to say. I'll keep you posted. Peace out, Latauro AICNDownunder@hotmail.com

Interesting take on the film’s theme. It’s hard to argue with the way he lays it out after you’ve seen it, particularly since Indy practically spells it out, circles it in red, underlines it, then puts a gold star next to it in some dialogue near the end of the film. For a film series about a character like Indy, and considering how much Lucas has always pushed YOUNG INDIANA JONES as a way to educate, this seems like a weird theme for the film to tackle. No sure I agree with your read, but I’m also not sure I disagree.

Let’s see what Sardonicus, an occasional contributor, has to say about it:

Hello Harry and Mori, I've sent you reviews in the past under the name Sardonicus. It's been a long time since I last sent you guys a review, it's rare that I get to see a flick in advance of release nowadays. Like the two of you, the passage of time has brought much change and new responsibilities, namely two mini-Sardonicii, but unlike you two, time also pulled me away from my local cinema. Imagine my shock when I was invited to attend a Paramount advance screening of INDY 4. I'd seen a sneak of RAIDERS (and I'm damn certain I saw Indy lash himself to the submarine periscope) about a month before it opened and knew I'd love the movie forever. DOOM has its haters but deserves great credit for flipping our expectations for an Indiana Jones movie (Who could have thought it would open with a musical number?) and delivered great thrills. I was managing a theater that ran LAST CRUSADE in 70mm and spent most working hours 'supervising' the projection from the back of the house. As much as the Indy Trilogy entertained me, I was ready to consider the story of Indiana Jones closed with the tidy wrap-up and ride-into-sunset that LAST CRUSADE provided. When I heard that KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL was going into production, I couldn't help but think the type of recognizable-branding-resurrection that brought us ROCKY BALBOA (albeit a much better coda to the Rocky story than ROCKY V was) would doom us to titles like BAD NEWS BEARS 4: THE REHABILITATION OF BUTTERMAKER or JAWS 5: BRUCE APOLOGIZES. What more could Indiana Jones bring us? It turns out that while I was growing up, Dr. Jones was growing up too. The thrill-seeker that was bored in the classroom in his younger days has become a real teacher that wants to pass on knowledge, wants to make sure that the time he has spent makes a difference in the lives of the students he encounters. The touchstones of his past, his boss and friend Marcus Brody and his father Henry, have passed on. Alone and only getting older, Indiana Jones is still capable of raising hell, but it's a lot tougher than it used to be. I won't get into spoilers beyond what I've mentioned so far. I thought I knew a lot about this flick going in, but I was wrong, so I don't want to spoil the fun for anyone else. The bottom line, I'm happy to report in direct response to other reviewers I've read on your site, is that INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL delivers every bit as much entertainment, excitement and bug-eyed thrills as any of the other Indiana Jones movies. That's right, I said ANY. Shia, Ray Winstone, Queen Blanchett, John Hurt, Jim Broadbent... all are great additions to the Indy history and I hereby implore Karen Allen to return to acting full-time, she picks up as Marion as though she never stopped playing her. Line up and get ready to spend more dough at the box office, kids, Indiana Jones is back with a blast. Peace, Sardonicus

I know there are people who will legitimately dislike this film. A lot. And there are already several who do. But I really do think that people are clenched, almost afraid of this film being bad, and you’re going to see a lot of joy as people see what it is. Joy... and relief.

MINOR SPOILERS When it comes to reviewing a movie like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the hardest thing to do is to keep expectations intact and not expect a film that will blow Raiders of the Lost Ark out of the water. It has no chance to beat that expectation, and the film will ultimately become a failure with that mindset. You have to look at this film as another one of the sequels, which isn’t a knock at the The Temple of Doom and The Last Crusade; on the contrary, they’re great films, but this is the caliber you should expect from the fourth installment of a film that hasn’t seen a new addition to the franchise since 1989. With this in mind, does the fourth Indiana Jones film succeed? The answer? An incredibly enthusiastic yes! After 19 years away, Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and Harrison Ford have recaptured that magic that has made the Indy trilogy so successful and added a worthy sequel that stands right in line with the two sequels. The little Indy quirks are here: the Paramount logo fading into a mountain-like object in the background, Jones’s insane phobia of snakes, the flight paths on the background maps, and the numerous references to the first three films. However, and give George Lucas and screenwriter David Koepp a ton of credit for this, the film is not simply a tribute to the first three films, but an intriguing, fresh story that is unlike any of the other three. This isn’t Rocky Balboa where we have the same general story but given a new spin on it. While some fans will be upset about the departure from the familiar, biblical territory the first ones covered, I found it to be great to see a new, original Indy flick instead of a rehashed homage to themes previously seen. Spielberg seems to have found that pitch perfect balance between action, humor, and humanity that made Raiders so special. This isn’t a flat out comedy like Last Crusade seemingly was, though there is still plenty of humorous moments in this film (surprisingly, very few jokes and gags actually fall flat). This isn’t two hours of non-stop action, as the film does take its time to establish the plot, detail the archeological quests, and let us remember why we fell in love with these characters in the first place. In fact, the scenes with Marion Ravenwood and Indy together are gold. Don’t get me wrong; a lot of the action is a blast. The car chase scene in the jungle is a great piece of filmmaking, and the first scene with Mutt Williams and Indy leave a lasting impression. Great action doesn’t have to come in newer, advanced looking CGI extravaganzas, as Spielberg proves that traditional action set pieces are still the most entertaining kind there is. Now, about the cast. The star is aging, the sidekick is from Even Stevens, Karen Allen hasn’t been in a big movie in God knows how many years, and, for some reason, people were worried about Cate Blanchett in here role. Well, let me put the concerns to rest: the entire cast is established pitch-perfect chemistry and everybody plays their parts incredibly well. Harrison Ford is, for the first time in a decade, having the time of his life and it shows in his excellent return to the famed American icon. It’s no secret that he has been campaigning for this movie for years, and it shows in his strong performance. Karen Allen shares fantastic chemistry with both Shia LaBeouf and Ford, as she provides a lot of the necessary charm to the second act of the film. Blanchett uses a heavily over-the-top Russian accent, but she finds just the right note between creepy and intriguing to make her the best Indy villain since Belloq in Raiders. Ray Winstone does well enough in his role, as does John Hurt and Jim Broadbent. The major surprise, however, is indeed Shia LaBeouf. For some strange reason, people actually thought this guy would be the Jar Jar Binks of the Indy series, and they couldn’t be more wrong. Remember the outstanding chemistry between Sean Connery and Ford in The Last Crusade? The chemistry between LaBeouf and Ford rivals that. I’ve believe that he’s been a very good actor for the past few years (and one of the few redeeming factors of Transformers). He does a great job in this film. The entire cast is good. A strong story and great performances don’t imply that this film isn’t flawless. It isn’t, but the flaws are few-and-far between and didn’t hinder my overall enjoyment of the film. The first 20 minutes are somewhat slow; it takes a little while to get to Marshall College. These first twenty minute aren’t necessarily boring. On the contrary, it is still entertaining, but it could have used probably 5 minutes of edits and pacing corrections. This is my biggest problem with the film, and once Indy returns to Marshall College, the film really kicks off and turns into the roller coaster ride that everyone has been hoping for. So, as you can see, I dug the film. I may have even loved it (repeat viewings should ensure this). It is the Indy film that you’ve been waiting for since it was announced, and the creative trio have proved that, with the right care and intentions, you can bring an American icon back from the dead and still have him own the competition. Rip-offs like The DaVinci Code and the National Treasure series try to be like these films, but even the fourth installment of these wonderful franchise just towers over its impersonators. This film will go down as a very strong entry into the quartet and fall somewhere in the middle of the two sequels when all is said and done. The Indy film that you’ve been dreading? Not even close. Indiana Jones is back. If you decide to use this at all, please call me BoomerSooner.

”Yeah, but we don’t know who that guy is, Moriarty. That review is a TOTAL FUCKING PLANT!” That’s certainly possible with anonymous reviews. You have no real history with that reviewer, and you have no idea how legitimate they are. So how about a couple from some “real people” who aren’t afraid to put their real names to them:

Greetings fellow Geeks, Aaron at Geek in the City here, having just seen the Portland screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. With the exception of Fatboy from Cort and Fatboy (they of the many Katee Sackoff interviews) my fellow critics were all pretty tight-lipped as to their thoughts. However, nothing keeps your friendly neighborhood Geek quiet. (Save a cool drink and my lovely wife). Anyway, I've attached my spoiler free review of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Curious to see how the Talk Backers react to my thoughts on Shia... * * * * Has it really almost been twenty years since Dr. Jones saved the world from the Nazis? Had my high school adventure just begun when Indiana Jones and crew rode off into the sunset? So many of my earliest cinematic adventures are tied to that whip wielding archaeologist. The first time I ever reenacted movie scenes without using 3.5” figures; I was Dr. Jones, my whip, a tattered piece of yellow nylon rope, and the cedar shavings under my neighbor's raised deck were spikes of death. The first time my mom ever covered my face in an attempt to hide me from the horrors on screen, Mola Rom was conducting a ripping sacrifice to Kali. Finally, my first attempt at a fan film came on the heels of Last Crusade. Sure, I didn't own a blue screen, but I dangle friends from the side of a truck while I flung dirt in their face and shot some of the shakiest VHS footage ever. You see, for all my talk of loving Star Wars, Comics, Star Trek, and all the pop culture trappings in between; it was Indiana Jones and his pulp inspired adventures that kept me writing and shooting. To this day, I dream of making my first ever bit of fiction (from the age of 8), Indiana Jones and the Key of Cortez, into story that joins the Dr. Jones canon, even if only in comic book or radio drama form. And so, it was with the wonder of a child raised on radio serials and the cynicism of an adult burned by my own expectations that I entered Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. While neither side left the theater hurt, neither did either side leave fulfilled... When it came to Indiana Jones films, I was perfectly happy with Last Crusade. While I felt it was the weakest of the three film, it did provide me the classic Hollywood ending that all good heroes require. The victorious adventurers rode off into the sunset. Were there other adventures to be had? Possibly, but those adventures were for th realm of my imagination. Time passed and just as I was recovering from the poor Star Wars – Episode II release, serious rumors about a forth Indiana Jones adventure started to surface. This just didn't seem possible. We had all moved on. Sure, my love for Dr. Jones never waived, but no one seemed all that interested. Besides, Spielberg filmed Schindler's List and . How the hell could he go back to making Nazi's a group of goose stepping pulp villains? We'd seen humanity at their worst through Steven's lens, I just didn't see another film working. More time passed. Screenwriters came and went. Rumors flew. Message boards filled with pathetic “insider” knowledge (myself included, mind you). In time and over the years, many rumors started to stick. Indy was coming back. The Third Reich, replaced, by the great Red Menace. Okay, I could buy that. Plus, with Harrison Ford aging, I felt an older Indiana would work. Why not? High pulp adventure didn't have to end with the dropping of the Atomic Bomb. Also, I rather enjoy tales of aged heroes coming out of “retirement” for that classic “final adventure”. Indeed, every hero needs that “once more unto the breech” moment. Then came rumors of a kid. A greaser kid. A kid that was gonna' be Indy's long-lost son. Uh-Oh. Kid sidekick? No, no stated Spielberg and Lucas. This “kid” was an adult, just starting his journey, but hey, have no fear, we brought Marion back as well. From there, I backed off the message boards and rumor mills. I didn't want to know more. At least, that was what I told myself. The truth was, I didn't want to get my hopes up, nor did I want to grow so doubtful that no film could purge my cynicism. I limited my viewing to a couple of trailers and the various action figure news. (We Geeks can at least thank Crystal Skull for finally giving us Indiana Jones figures that didn't suck Belloq's...well, you know). Months passed. Then one warm Spring morning in 2008, while the rest of Portland stormed Waterfront Park to hear Barack Obama speak, I shuffled into a stuffy theater for the only screening of The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull until opening night on May 22. The lights dimmed, the curtains adjusted for the frame. Then came the Paramount Logo. No fancy CGI stars. No 3D Mountain effect. Nope, this was the same grainy Paramount logo I saw over 25 years ago when Indiana Jones captured the American imagination. Nothing wrong with starting off a film with a hint of nostalgia, a reminder of once was and within a moment or two, shall be again. If only that feeling maintained for the entire film. The premise of the film is pretty basic (as were the previous Indy films, these are pulp adventures after all). World War II is over a decade past. The Cold War is reaching a fever pitch as average Americans see Communists everywhere. Perhaps they are right, as it would seem Mother Russia and her soldiers have infiltrated our most secret of bases... The legendary Area 51. They want something and they are going to force Dr. Jones to get it for them. From there begins a chase around the world where Indy runs, whips, drives, and jumps in an attempt to stay one foot ahead of the Evil Empire and their quest for world domination! If only the movie had kept it that simple, both my wonderment filled child and cynical adult was have been pleased. Unfortunately, they didn't. In between action scenes we learn about Mutt Williams, played by Shia LeBeouf, a greaser with a secretive past. A physic Russian villain played by Cate Blanchett. Her character that could have been a foil for Dr. Jones in previous adventures, though we learn little about her. A new partner for Indiana Jones, played by Ray Winstone, (one clearly meant as the Sala character, but for some reason, turned into a ex-British spy). Another scholar and collegiate fellow, played by John Hurt, with whom Indiana had a falling out. And finally, Marion played again by Karen Allen , Indy's one true love returning from the past. In a way, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a few movies crammed into a rather sluggish two hours. (Well, sluggish for an Indiana Jones film). Sound rather packed? It is. Yet at times it doesn't feel like the film is going anywhere. Like I said, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull felt like two or three films. First Indy needs to stop the Russians. Then, Indy needs to discover a forgotten grave and skull, all while connecting to this Mutt Williams. A kid that, while he's never met before, forms a rather strong (and admittedly believable) rapport and connection. Then, the gang rushes off to find this mysterious lost city with these strange crystal skulls. Oh, and along the way Marion gets kidnapped by those pesky Russians and their cold but strangely alluring psychic leader. Unlike the previous Indiana Jones films, the plot of Kingdom drives the characters and not the other way around. Yes, the Nazi's or the Thuggee Cult forced Dr. Jones into adventure, but you never felt like he was simply a tag-along. The movie isn't The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with Indiana Jones. Yet, that is exactly how the felt felt. Dr. Jones wasn't acting, he was reacting. Perhaps in lesser action films, I can accept such a hero. Not so with Indiana Jones. I need him to swing a punch and move the story, regardless of the outcome. In this film, he allows others to move the story along while he delivers random lines about quicksand and generally acts as the comic relief. Perhaps that is what bothered me the most. Like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Crystal Skull falls back on rather ham-handed visual gags. In moderation and with the right characters this works. To me, Dr. Jones is not such a character. Sure, he has his moments of comedy, but it comes as a result of an impossible scenario or his own disdain for authority. This time out, Dr. Jones is the butt of many of the jokes he himself would have been above in the previous films. In fact, every time Mutt called him “old man” and Indy took it, I wanted to slap the little brat. Sure, Dr. Jones is pushing 60, but he can still kick your butt ya' Beatnik! That isn't to say this film is a Keystone Cop movie, it just had one to many “ow, my balls” jokes. I expect that from Lucas, but I'd hoped with Steven at the helm they would have been kept to a minimum. As strange as this sounds, my biggest beef with the movie comes from a rather disrespectful handling of Dr. Jones himself. Yes, I know this is fiction, but when you set the rules with three previous films, you can't turn so abruptly. Sure, I'll buy (and even want) to see some extra follies as a result of his advanced age. Indeed, I would argue some honest (and still humorous) falls and missed punches as a result of his age would help the film. As well as the inevitable passing of the fedora to young Mutt Williams/Jones. (Honestly, if you think my mentioning of Shia as the new “Dr. Jones” is a “spoiler”, then you've been blind and deaf while living under the proverbial rock yourself). How was Mr. LeBeouf? Okay, he is were all the fanboys come screaming for my head and I lose all Geek credibility... Take a deep breath... Mutt Williams/Jones is the best part of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull! (He might also have one of the better fight scenes in the film). There, I said it. I can't believe it, but I did and I mean it! First, I was once like you. Well, not completely. I never hated Shia LeBeouf as did so many flaming Internet talk backers. He is a fine actor and with strong film choices will probably have a long and prosperous career. Much like another movie star we all know and love. A movie star that is perhaps not the most talented of the bunch. Still, a star that has all the charm in the world and under a good director and story can carry a film about magical rocks, space wizards, and androids that dream of electric sheep. I wasn't completely sold on the character as such, but I never hated the Shia casting. I saw what Spielberg and Lucas were trying to do. Again, here is where Geeks scream for blood. If Indy 4 does well enough for a 5th, I say we give Mr. LeBeouf his chance. Believe it or not, the character works and he works very well. Especially when you consider how little time the filmmakers have to connect and grow the character. He isn't the mopey “Wild One” everyone expected. Sure, at first he's got a massive chip on that leather clad shoulder, but Indiana's charm and genuine good nature melts that chip fast. Also, little lines here and there within the film go a long way to explain why Mutt has the potential to be the next globe trotting adventurer. Would he be like Indiana Jones? No, he'd be his own man, with one hell of a mentor. To take a page from my comic books, he is the Kyle Rainer to our Hal Jordan. Not better, not worse. Simply different. You know what? I can live with that. In fact, I kinda want to see that. Simply because Mutt lives in the Atomic Age doesn't mean the world isn't filled with wonders and dangers. And, unlike 'ol Indiana who had to go it alone, Mutt would have a mentor getting his back. You know what, I'd line up to watch Mutt Jones and the Pyramids of Mars! As for everyone else in the film? Well, they all seems to phone this one in. As if age removed that “holy moley, we're making another Indiana Jones movie”! Never once did I feel the passion for adventure and excitement I felt in all the previous Indiana Jones movies. That alone was the film's greatest problem. The entire time I saw the skeleton of an Indiana Jones movie, but never once did I see it's beating heart. This was Indiana Jones by the book. An irony when you consider it was the Indiana Jones movies that re-wrote the book in the first place. Should you see it? Of course! This is still a fun action film. It isn't perfect when compared to the previous Indiana Jones outings, but that shouldn't dissuade you. (Besides, that is a mighty mountain to climb). In fact, the more I think about it, the more Kingdom of the Crystal Skull feels like a prologue to an all new series of adventures. Will I see it again? Absolutely. If only to try and capture that visceral excitement of a packed movie house with hundreds of screaming Indiana Jones fans. I want to see if I'm the only one that doesn't stand and cheer as the credits roll. I did smile and nod, but no whopping scream as I did in the past. Truthfully, I want to know if it is me or the movie. Either way, the thought is rather depressing. If it is the film, damn, because Indiana Jones deserves a better sending than the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If it is me, damn, because it means I've lost that wondrous spark deep within. But I doubt I have. Indiana Jones has given me decades of exciting adventure, the least I can do is give him a second shot. And no, I wasn't joking. I really am interested in a new series with Mutt Jones! Every story evolves and grows, why can't the Jones'? Geek in the City, L.L.C. is... Geek in the City Film Fever Radio Vote for Geek in the City!

Hmmm... speaking of Fatboy Roberts...

Let’s give voice to the simmering snideness that’s been steaming under the surface for awhile now. Let the dam break and the vaguely bile-flavored observations rush to the fore: The movie starts as if Indiana Jones tripped and faceplanted into American Graffiti. And then it starts again. And then again. And then the movie ceases beginning, and begins to move ceaselessly. Well, up until it turns into a game of Donkey Kong Jr. But before John Hurt becomes Prof. Bruttenholm from Hellboy and Indy steps out to witness version 2.0 of U2’s Vertigo video, something pretty interesting happens. An honest to God Indiana Jones movie begins to pop, slowly, like a bag of Orville Redenbacher in an underpowered microwave. Let’s step back and marvel at the set-pieces that work: The Ant-Fight. The Boat/Tank chase. The leisurely drive through the university. Let’s shake our head ruefully at the set-pieces that work in spite of themselves: The 3 steps made out of waterfall. The tree-top peelout. The jump of the flying saucer. Let’s just step back, period. For a second or two. Let’s look at Henry “Indiana” Jones, Jr. Harrison Ford remembers this guy pretty well. I was afraid he’d forgotten, and there are times in this movie where his grasp on the character seems—maybe not shaky, but not as tight, not as forceful as it once was. But this is definitely Indiana Jones, and it’s felt most in his non-action scenes. Like when he sees Marion Ravenwood for the first time in a long time, and when he’s setting-up the whole movie while in a T-shirt, post de-lousing, in a Federal sweatbox, across the table from a pasty Miguel Ferrer lookalike and the Janitor from Scrubs. You hear it in the confused/scared barks he’ll let out that typically kick off the long, involved set-pieces, or the casual but not-quite-condescending explanations of exposition you need to get to that next set-piece. The man looks, sounds, and moves like he should. And yet, there’s still a tiredness to him that, even if it’s intentionally put in there by all involved (Koepp, Lucas, Spielberg and Ford,) that doesn’t help endear him to the audience this time out in the way Shia LeBeouf does. The kid is the living embodiment of Hollywood Overexposure lately, in a way that Jake Gyllenhaal only dreamed of a few years ago. And yet, after maybe 3 minutes onscreen, he shows why he’s so overexposed: The kid is damned good. And likeable. To the point where his role, and his performance of that role, is more enjoyable than Ford’s beleagured Indy. Everyone knows that at some point, he’s going to be asked to pick up the hat. I’m not so sure everyone wants him to put that hat on. But his performance in this movie is such that when his hands hit the brim of that battered brown leather, it feels correct. But this isn’t a great movie. It’s a good one. It’s thin, lightweight and more than a little boring in a couple spots. Its secondary characters are more tertiary characters, and hoping for anything beyond that from anyone not named Allen or Blanchett is a waste of time. Not even Ray Winstone can really rise above the flatline of a character he’s been handed. The most interesting side-character moment comes when, for the first time I can think of, you get to see what the Wilhelm scream looks like as it’s being delivered. That’s about as deep as the secondary characters go. No Lao Che. No Chattar Lal. No seig-heiling monkeys. There are regular ol’ monkeys, though. Lots of em. They help Shia defeat a carload of commies. There’s a running gag involving groundhogs as greek chorus in the beginning of the movie, a gag that concludes one of the more ridiculous (in a bad way) action sequences ever seen in a Spielberg flick. They’re quickly forgotten by the visceral oogy-ness of “Big Damn Ants” basically melting people like six-legged lava, but all I wondered while watching some of these sequences, was whether Spielberg or Lucas had been the one binging on Animal Planet marathons recently. Watching Shia LeBeouf swing from vine to vine like Greystoke: Fonzarelli of the Mist as hundreds of monkeys keep pace, cutting through Kaminski’s Douglas Slocombe impersonation, didn’t lift spirits, didn’t cause the celluloid to soar. It just looked doofy. It looked like a mixed drink made of movies: 2 parts Last Crusade, 1 part Mummy Returns. Blanchett is a little more menacing than Julian Glover and Alison Doody, and her muscle vaguely reminds of Pat Roach. They do their jobs well, even if they don’t quite stick the landing. It’s good to see Karen Allen again, and her pixie-ish, mile-wide grin is still engaging as hell, but she doesn’t feel like Marion Ravenwood at all. Yes, time has passed, yes, she and Indy still bicker, but there’s no bite there. Marion is utterly defanged as a character, her caustic nature traded for cuteness. Broadbent and Hurt have their one note to play and they play it professionally and with class, but they both feel pretty wasted. Were Hurt not physically holding the Crystal Skull of the title, I think I’d have forgotten he was there, period. I think the movie hinted strongly it was going to follow not in the footsteps of Raiders, but Crusade, when a carload of Russkies crash into a statue of Marcus Brody, accidentally knocking Brody’s iron head off, sending it through the windshield to rest, wry grin face-up in the lap of a Russian agent. Crusade was willing to sacrifice Brody’s character and Denholm Elliot’s quiet integrity in the first movie for a series of goofy expressions and insipid one-liners. This movie puts his disembodied head in the lap of an empty villain for a throwaway gag. Not to say the film isn’t fun. It’s slight, it’s mostly weightless, but there are things that should be seen on a large screen with loud speakers and eyes open as wide as you can get them to drink in the hyper-kineticism Spielberg brings to this fluff. It’s the least of the Indiana Jones movies, and maybe not even as good as the best Mummy movie, but it’s still a great time at the theaters, and a good reminder that Spielberg may have grown exponentially as a film-maker, but when he wants to get your blood pumping at the sheer audacity of an action set-piece, he’s damn well going to do it. In one instance, he takes the concept of the lava battle from Revenge of the Sith--the segment that Spielberg cut his teeth on digital pre-viz with,--swaps out robots for cars, lava for a jungle, and Vader/Obi-Wan with Shia/Cate. And effortlessly tops it, not just in motion and tension but with the swordfight choreography. And manages to toss in crotch-shot jokes without wrecking any of the suspense. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is fun fluff that manages to rely on nostalgia to move it forward, without getting caught in the Star Wars prequels trap of rose-colored cinematic masturbation. It spins its wheels a couple times but never gets stuck. It’s a decent action flick made good by the history and goodwill Ford and Spielberg have earned with the character, and the surprising ease at which Shia LeBeouf fits into that canon. Fatboy Roberts Nights, 101.1 KUFO-FM www.cortandfatboy.com fatboy@kufo.com

I love that Paramount screened it everywhere on the same day, because it means we’re getting all our reviews from different locations, different audiences, different screening experiences. Here’s a guy from Boston with his take on it:

Hey mori and Harry, I go the chance to check out Indy 4 at a screening in Boston. Anyway, this review is coming to you from a super-fan prespective. It's an understatement to for Spielberg to say this one's for "the fans" This movie ties everything from the novels to the comics to the Young Indy series together. It makes a COMPLETE Indy world. I know you're going to get a deluge of reviews today, but I hope you publish mine as not many people will pick up all the Easter eggs scattered throughout. The movie was awesome. Fuck all those pre-pre reviewers. Fuck the meh-haters too. The move is not perfect, but I would rank it as before both Crusade and Temple. Raiders is hallowed ground and NO other Indy move could touch that no matter what. It was refreshing to see that the beards RESPECT the real fans enough to tie everything together. I won't give any spoilers, that's for the myriad of other reviews you guys will get. By now, people know the basic structure of the story. Everything starts off in that warehouse, where a certain crate with a certain artifact is kept. BUT (semi-spoiler) the certain artifact IS NOT THE FOCUS of the chase scene. There's a scene just after the chase that I thought the film could have done without, but that's just me. After Indy returns to the college, he is talking to his new dean played by Brit Jim Broadbent (Topsy-Turvy), and asks him "How is Deidre?" My jaw was all over the seat. Deidre, as the fans of the books know, was an early love of Indy (spoilers) who he married in the third McGregor book (book spoliers: she dies in the book. But to have her even MENTIONED here was awesome.) the film also referenced the books, Indiana Jones and the White Witch (the teaching scene in the movie), Seven Veils (mind reading), the Interior World (much of the end), the Sky Pirates (character mentions and the fact that Indy worked for the govt. In an "alien" expedition), and two of the Max McCoy books (Indy's obsession with finding the crystal skull when he was young). Again awesome. There is another scene when he is walking though bazaar with Mutt (the Beef) and he mentions that he rode with Pancho Villa on a break from school. This is a ref to the Young Indy series. Story wise, they dont' really leave Peru after the first half, but it's all pretty much action from the beginning. It took a few lines for Ford to step back into the character, but he plays his age well and becomes Indy pretty easily. Shia La Beouf was strong as Mutt, and didn't over do the greaser thing, but the star of the show is Marion. Karen Allen steps back into to the role as if she never left. As to the appearance of Marion's father, well..dont' believe everything you read. Script-wise the story is tight and takes a SERIOUS chance on the ending, which, after reading the books I had no real problem with because the end was still artifact focused. The scenes with the Karen Allen, the ants and the chase through the jungle were SERIOUSLY tight. After the film I could better understand what Lucas said in that interview way back when. "Its an Indiana Jones movie. No more no less." And goddamn that's what it is. A great addition to the series. Enjoy. If you use this call me SunKing.

If you say so, man. I honestly didn’t even realize there were that many Indiana Jones novels out there. I guess it makes sense, but for me, there are the films and the YOUNG INDY series, and that’s it. Still, if that hardcore of a fan seems that happy, that’s a good sign, right? Here’s one more fan’s POV:

Hey Harry, saw Crystal Skull this morning. A little background on where my loyalties lay... I rank the first three in the order they came out. Nothing can touch Raiders, Temple of Doom was pretty solid, and as much as I love Connery, Last Crusade has weak action and a bunch of goofy, wacky moments that were an inappropriate overreaction to how dark Temple of Doom was. As well, the romances in the first two are part of what make them work so well, and it just felt forced and tacked on in the third. I don't hate Crusade, but it's not as good as the first two. Anyway: if you want the spoiler-free version, I liked it. It's tonally closest to Raiders, the action sequences are spectacular, and they do a pretty good job of not shitting on the movies that came before. It has some very stupid moments in terms of characters surviving stuff that just isn't physically possible, to the point where it pulls you out of the movie. However, as shitty as a few moments are, the vast majority of what's on screen is classic Indy and as good as anything in TOD, and better than Last Crusade. If I was to give it a letter grade, it would be a solid B. Spoilers ahead. You've been warned. The plot, as much as I think you should know going in... The Russians are looking to find a crystal skull and bring it to a lost city of gold in South America, because they believe that by doing so that they'll have access to mind-control powers they can use to rule the world. How Indy gets dragged into this... well, that's the movie. The action sequences are uniformly great. In particular, the jungle chase is absolutely amazing... you see little bits of action in the trailer, but the best stuff isn't in the trailers or commercials by a WIDE margin. There's a few moments where Indy's survival is more than a little ridiculous (getting thrown twenty miles in a fridge, going over several massive waterfalls, driving a car off a cliff and into a river) and it does shake you out of your suspension of disbelief, but then something else happens that's pretty awesome and you can get back to enjoying the moment. Shia is pretty good, although he has his share of bad moments, most notably his first couple scenes with Indy and his George of the Jungle moment during the jungle chase. Karen Allen is awesome, and once she shows up the film gets noticeably better. Ford is great, and his age is pretty much a non-issue. Cate Blanchett was all right, but she loses her accent occasionally and has a moment at the end that evokes Heat Vision and Jack for more than a couple reasons. Ray Winstone is probably the weakest person in the film, and John Hurt has a startling resemblance to Jerry Stiller, particularly in the last scene of the film. It sounds like I'm hating on the movie and that's not the case: I enjoyed the hell out of it 85% of the time... but the other 15% can get eye-rollingly bad. The movie gets the tone and creepiness just right (lighter than TOD, darker than Crusade), and is mostly very good. It's just those brief flashes of turd you need to watch out for. If you use this, call me El Fuego.