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#2 5/7/08 #7
Logo by Ambush Bug


X-O Contest Winners!

Hey folks, Ambush Bug here. Before Optimous Douche reviews the X-O MANOWAR: BIRTH HC TPB, I wanted to pop in and announce the winners of the X-O MANOWAR Contest we ran a week or so ago. Here’s the list of the winners…

Runners up win a copy of X-O MANOWAR: BIRTH

Steve A. Dan Team Michael Sacal Kris H. Keith H. Nicholas H. Bernard Aaron B. Sam J. Joshua M.

Five Second Prize Winners win a signed edition of the trade by the creators.

Tim Dowgiallo Mitchell Hall Earl Colomb IV Manoftheatom3 Joe Childres

Finally, the Grand Prize (a signed copy of the book with a sketch by the creators) goes to…

David Drasheff

Congratulations to all of the winners…
But wait, you say. We announced that there would be 15 runners up and only ten were listed. Well, that’s because, sadly, not too many of you guys participated in this contest. So I’m going to give one last chance for the first five lucky people who email me their pick for the next Valiant Hardcover they want to see reprinted in this format. DON'T FORGET TO INCLUDE OUR MAILING ADDRESS! Email me here and win. It’s that damn easy.
And now, on with the review…


Writers: Jim Shooter & Bob Layton, Artists: Barry Windsor-Smith, Joe Quesada Publisher: Valiant Reviewer: Optimous Douche

Most comic book aficionados will agree that the early 90s was a veritable shit storm of bad ideas. Countless polybags, card inserts, multiple covers, nonsensical crossovers and issues with sub par material virtually collapsed the entire industry.
Then there was Valiant.
While the major houses were focused on increasing sales volume and Image was launching the age of anatomical monstrosities, Jim Shooter and company were laying the foundation for one of the most complex, intricate and well crafted universes to ever grace the stands of local comic shops.
Valiant hooked me from the very beginning. Being a mild obsessive compulsive it wasn’t the individual resurrected Gold Key titles like X-O, HARBINGER, SOLAR, ETERNAL WARRIOR and ARCHER & ARMSTRONG that intrigued me. Don’t get me wrong: the dialogue was sharp and witty, and the rendered realism of the characters was a refreshing departure from “the beautiful people, the beautiful people” that were being sketched in other comic books, but it was the continuity.
This universe was tighter than a nun’s vagina, and for a universe that covered all of human history from the beginning of civilization to the far distant future, this cross pollination of content was no easy task.
The first six issues of X-O MANOWAR, which can be found in this beautifully reprinted hardcover (along with a few other goodies) are a perfect example of this meticulous attention to a detailed universe and “ahead of its time” storytelling.
X-O kicks off seamlessly from the pages of its sister title SOLAR. Aric the barbarian is a man unstuck in time, cryogenically frozen for 1600 years and resurrected in the early 1990s. He awakens aboard a ship of spider-alien invaders; with the help of a mysterious cell mate and a diversion by Solar, he finds a way to abscond with the spiders’ most advanced version of X-O Armor, the Manowar class. This “good skin”, as Aric calls it, his barbaric mind only able to relate a technologically advanced war suit with a bear pelt, allows him to escape from the invader’s ship and lands him on a planet Earth very different than the world he once remembered. This is the “what”, the “how” is a story unto itself.
I mentioned earlier, during my schoolgirl adoration of Valiant’s continuity, that the actual storytelling was a feat unto it self and truly ahead of its time. From characterization to the actual dialogue, the foundation laid down by the team at Valiant resonates even today; in fact, I often wonder if today’s superstars could be telling their stories in the fashion they are without these books paving the way.
It seems today that a piece can’t be socially relevant or accepted without the insertion of a token homosexual character. Well before “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” made fat mid-western hausfraus accept the gay culture, Valiant took the bold steps to make a gay character a pivotal focal point of the X-O story with Aric’s right hand man Ken. However, unlike Marvel with Northstar, Valiant didn’t turn this into a media event, nor did they feel the need to let Ken’s sexuality define the character. At his core this human turncoat in the spider-alien organization is an opportunist, only taking sides with Aric once he realizes that this barbarian is going to lay waste to the entire spider-alien organization. It’s easy for a writer to craft stereotypes, but instead of having Ken sachet across the panels humming show tunes, they made him into a real character complete with foibles and other personality traits apart from his sexuality. This was damn brave way back in 1992.
I will admit that Valiant’s art is not to the liking of everyone, especially to those that weaned themselves from their mother’s teat to the sour milk found in the breast of early 90s Image. I liken what Valiant brought to the table to the renderings of Frank and Quitely. Nothing was hyper-stylized, everything felt real. Valiant valiantly portrayed characters’ flaws and wasn’t afraid to show the weathering that Father Time inflicts on all of us.
In addition to chronicling issues 0-6 of the original X-O series, updating the colors and laying out the book on today’s high gloss paper as opposed to the toilet paper of yore, Layton completes this saga with a brand new prequel tale showcasing the rise of the Spider-aliens, leader, Lydia. This is a nice denouement, but it’s also a bit of tease.
I’m thrilled that Valiant is reissuing and enhancing all of their old titles in hardcover. I offer two suggestions, guys: go ahead and skip the deluxe edition of H.A.R.D.corps, but seriously consider a reprint of UNITY. I would also be ecstatic if you could once again resurrect these characters with new ground breaking stories.
In the tarnished crown of early 90s comics, Valiant was the jewel that sparkled with the beacon of promise that comics could still be great.
When Optimous Douche isn’t reading comics and misspelling the names of 80’s icons, he “transforms” into a corporate communications guru. Optimous is looking for artistry help, critical feedback and a little industry insight to get his original book AVERAGE JOE up, up and on the shelves. What if the entire world had super powers? Find out in the blog section of Optimous’ MySpace page to see some preview pages and leave comments.


Writer: Brian Michael Bendis Art: Leinil Francis Yu (pencils) & Mark Morales (inks) Publisher: Marvel Comics An @$$Hole Two in One Review from Ambush Bug & Squashua

AMBUSH BUG (BUG): The Bug liking a Bendis helmed event issue? Are you kidding me? I know, I know. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true. I really liked this issue of SECRET INVASION. There were tons of little moments in this issue that struck me as cool such as the tiny moment where the “fake” Iron Man acknowledged the “fake” Captain America as the leader of the crew of heroes discovered in the Savage Land in the last issue. And most of all I really liked the focus on Hawkeye.
SQUASHUA (SQUASH): Look, I don’t know the guy all that well. I probably shouldn’t even be writing this review. I’ll bet Bendis got him wrong in the eyes of the uber-fan and the dude is completely out of character here or he’s actually a Skrull, but with Ares going all Admiral Ackbar screaming his lungs off for people to not fight and the Sentry chowing down on multiple-personality Kryptonite (that tired trope again?), this non-fan thought Hawkeye, sorry, Ronin was fucking awesome.
BUG: Well, I do know the character (one of my first comics ever was the one with Hawkeye shooting Ant-Man towards the reader on the cover of an AVENGERS issue) and Bendis didn’t do a bad job characterizing him at all in this issue.
SQUASH: Clint’s a bow guy, right? He’s the Green Arrow of Earth-616? And for weeks, all he’s done is sword combat; bladed hand-to-hand. You know, Wolverine’s job. Or Echo’s job. Or either Power Man or Iron Fist’s job if you drop the swords from the equation. So where does that leave a semi-talented non-powered human? That’s what Hawkeye finally realized this issue as he complained through the fourth wall, took down his counterpart, picked up his bow and quiver, and threw himself into the woods where he belongs, sniping choice competition out of play like an ADD-addled Robin Hood. Even when the artist forgot to add the arrow to his drawn bow, Ronin was in the right place, doing what he does best.
BUG: Yeah, I had a lot of fun following the Hawkeye developments through the whole melee. And yes, it was frustrating as hell after sitting through the last Hawkeye series that turned out to be a miniseries due to god-awful sales where the writers thought it was a good idea to take away Hawkeye’s bow and arrow, then getting excited about his return, only to have him drop the bow again in favor of nunchakus and swords. It was a long buildup, but the payoff was pretty impressive.
SQUASH: But see, that was all build up to the main event, the trigger that motivated Clint into action: his Black Canary, Mockingbird, showed up and threw his feelings into overdrive. Clint fights his way to his love, who is sitting with a deceased Classic Skrulleye (it just looked like Ronin knocked Classic Skrulleye out; maybe someone else killed him), and passes her the comic book equivalent of the codeword kids and parents use to clear a “Stranger Danger” situation. Though I didn’t know them, the reunion of this couple brought a tear to my eye, my heartstrings were pulled, and for a mere moment I felt compassion. Then the subterfuge took hold. Were they themselves Skrulls? A mere panel later, Wolverine echoed my doubt; certainly they had some form of mind reading through genetics. Or is Wolverine a Skrull, trying to casting doubt across the situation?
BUG: Plot holes aside, it was a well written scene. A trite melodramatic, but effective nevertheless. Even the possibility of having Mockingbird back in the mix almost makes this whole Skrull business worthwhile. And that’s the main problem with this event. The way they are doing it is kind of rough. Bringing back old characters, fixing mistakes that should have never been made, painting themselves out of corners. But the end result will most likely make for interesting stories for the Marvel regime to re-fuck up at a later date.
SQUASH: Who killed Classic Skrulleye? Who is a Skrull? Did they take Tony Stark out of the battle simply so he could have a moment to reflect his movie by building new armor out of scrap mutate technology? How can you tell that the Young Avengers are hanging out with the Runaways in Manhattan during an alien invasion without a playbook? What secret weapon is the Skrull Queen hiding inside her enormous Spider-Woman tatas? Will Echo get jealous of their relationship, or will Hawkeye and Mockingbird just screw around when her back is turned (SHE’S DEAF)? This issue assured me that even though it really was simply one big fight scene, it was a fight scene containing oodles of interesting content that I didn’t find to be filler in the least.
BUG: Man, you’re full of questions. And I am too. Bendis did a good job with this issue. It’s confusing at times, but I guess it’s meant to be. I feel Bendis is much more in his element with this paranoid/noir-ish tale of mystery than other big events that got away from him like HOUSE OF M. He doles out suspense and tension very well. Bendis is also getting to know his characters a bit better and they’re starting to sound distinct from one another rather than just all sounding like Bendis. Considering that, SECRET INVASION, so far, is leaps and bounds better in the characterization department than Millar’s CIVIL WAR. Bendis is letting the characters guide the story and not the other way around as Millar did. For that, I’m impressed at the growth I’ve seen in Bendis as a writer.


Writer: Jim Starlin Artist: Ron Lim Inker: Rob Hunter Publisher: DC Comics Reviewer: Rock-Me Amodeo

Wait, wait, don’t tell me: before it’s over, someone is going to die. Maybe.
I love Jim Starlin and most everything he does. He’s huge. I bought every issue of Epic’s DREADSTAR. Every issue of WARLOCK. Every issue of everything he ever touched that had Thanos in it. Heck, I even tracked down SPECIAL MARVEL EDITION #15 (first appearance of Shang-Chi) and recently lauded his efforts in DEATH OF THE NEW GODS.
And though Starlin actually has a broad range for storytelling, over the years, I’ve watched him become famous for three things:
hugely religious under/overtones,
hugely cosmic odysseys, and
killing people. Over the years, the number of heroes he’s killed could easily be described as, well…huge.
Thus we enter into the war between Rann and Thanagar. Excuse me, the holy war. That means that instead of people calling each other “mook” “creep” and “bitch” we get “sinner” “unbeliever” and “harlot” (or, if the setting is Latveria, substitute “cretin” “imbecile” and the recently added “cow.”) Threats and epithets are similarly modified in terms of damnation, praises and so forth. Oh, and for every religion, for every faith of any sort, only the ignorant are sincere. The sincere believers are easily exploited. And everyone at the upper-levels is an evil SOB, doing exactly that, for the power.
Likewise, on the “cosmic odyssey” front, we’re seeing characters that are seldom on the same planet more than a few issues at a time, with the relative obscurity that will allow for some significant development. The stakes are high enough to get a lot of players, big and small, involved: Adam Strange. Hawkman. Comet. Starfire. Starman (Prince Gavyn, with Will Payton’s memories? Hope someone remembers that…) These are all great, and mostly under-utilized, characters. You can see most of them on the cover, and as well-written as the first issue is, the whole story should be a good read.
Truth be known, I really enjoyed this story the first several times I read it. I’m not talking about the book. I’m talking about the STORY. And that’s the problem I have with this. For example, I was blown away by Adam Warlock and the Church of the Universal Truth.
I hung on every word of DREADSTAR and his struggles with Lord High Papal and the Instrumentality. Same basic themes. It was excellent.
I picked up the lets-milk-this-Gauntlet-thing miniseries INFINITY QUEST. Same basic themes. It was pretty good.
I picked up MYSTERY IN SPACE, which introduced us to Lord Papal on a diet and the church of Whatever It Is. Same basic themes, and less than impressed, I was.
Now we have this. The story is well written. It doesn’t seem like an attempt to cash in on Marvel’s recent cosmic triumphs, as DC has put some serious artistic capital into “cosmic” lately themselves. This series may well pull it all together.
Also, Ron Lim’s art is excellent. Some inkers make him seem appear quite cartoony, but Rob Hunter’s inks add a grit and heft that I have always known Lim had. Some sequences feel like Starlin might even have sketched the roughs before Lim started, and that is a compliment to all three men. No complaints there.
But the story…okay, last digression: some stories, I can’t get enough of. Stories of redemption, where the hero, or even the villain, finally turns it around. Or when children are involved, I’m a sucker for stories where the dad gets to be a hero to his kids. I’m a sucker for stories where the really, really bad guys get what’s really, really coming to them (like the first couple years of PUNISHER MAX, for example.)
So if Starlin’s Same Huge Story (religion bad, cosmic scenery, heroes possibly dying) is your scene, that’s cool. That’s cool. I get it. And maybe this will only have the first two elements, like many of the stories I listed above. But still, after reading the beginning of this story, I cannot help but wonder if it’s the same one I’ve already seen five or six times. And despite the action and good dialogue, I think I’m a little bored.
The story may take some completely fantastic turn, and Starlin is an excellent writer who has surprised me a hundred times over. But if it’s exactly what it looks like, then I’m going to be disappointed.
How disappointed? Well, hugely disappointed, of course. We’ll see.
Dante “Rock-Me” Amodeo has been reading comics for thirty-five years. His first novel, “Saban and The Ancient” (an espionage/paranormal thriller) was published 2006. He began writing for AICN Comics in 2007 and his second novel (“Saban Betrayed”) is due 2008. He’s often told he has a great face for radio.


Plot: Alex Ross and Jim Krueger Script: Jim Krueger Pencils: Steve Sadowski Color: inLight Studios Publisher: Marvel (in association with Dynamite) Reviewed by: BottleImp

I must be a glutton for punishment. I was severely underwhelmed by the way that Ross and Krueger’s JUSTICE miniseries just sort of petered out, and I sloughed my way through three issues of their abysmal PROJECT SUPERPOWERS before finally giving up that series as a loss. And yet, having been burned by Ross and Krueger before, I still shelled out my three bucks for this comic. Like a moth to the flame, or a slack-jawed yokel to a Nascar race, I was irresistibly drawn towards it. And maybe it’s just because I still have the sour taste of PROJECT SUPERPOWERS in my mouth, but d’you know what?
AVENGERS/INVADERS isn’t half bad.
The plot is yet another variation on the whole “heroes plucked from their own time” thing that was the basis for PROJECT SUPERPOWERS (as well as the infinitely superior miniseries THE TWELVE) that finds the Invaders (a World War II team comprised of Captain America and Bucky, the Sub-Mariner, and the Human Torch and his sidekick Toro) transported from 1943 Italy to modern-day Manhattan. They drop into the middle of a fight between Spider-Man and the Thunderbolts, confusion ensues, yadda yadda yadda, and the Invaders retreat to try to figure out what’s happened to them. What makes this a little more interesting than your standard comic book time-travel storyline is that since the original Captain America is now dead (at least for the time being), the reappearance of Steve Rogers has a pretty big impact on Spider-Man and others, and it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out.
Krueger’s writing is still pretty shoddy—check out this set of narrative captions from “Bucky’s War Journal”:
Caption 1: “…we’re on this ass-backwards mission to steal something called the Ordnung Zeitgeist from Monte Cassino.”
Caption 2: “That translates to mean: Operation Time Ghost.”
Caption 3: “That’s the Ordnung Zeitgeist translation.”
Caption 4: “Monte Cassino is a monastery in Italy.”
Talk about being repetitive. And his dialogue still feels very forced and unnatural—sort of George Lucas-ish. Krueger’s Spider-Man banter makes him come across as more of a middle-school kid with ADD rather than a witty adult. But at least the characters are written as having individual personalities— Krueger seems to work better with established characters (such as Spidey and the iconic DC heroes in JUSTICE) than when he has to develop personalities from scratch (as one can see from the one-dimensional superheroes in PROJECT SUPERPOWERS).
Sadowski’s artwork is pretty nice, and the coloring complements the pencils without getting overly muddy or busy. My one gripe with the art is that the storytelling can get a bit confusing—not sure if that’s Sadowski’s fault, or if the blame should be split between Sadowski, Ross and Krueger. For example, there’s an old man making random observations about superheroes during the fight in Manhattan. It wasn’t until I read the comic a second time that I made the connection that he was the same man as one of the young soldiers from the WWII sequence (at least, I think it’s the same guy—they both have glasses, but other than that, they don’t look especially alike). I think that a clearer sense of the action and pacing would make this book more exciting.
So all in all, not horrible. Twelve issues seems like a lot of space for what looks so far like a pretty basic story—I’m willing to wager that this series will have the same problems as JUSTICE did: a bloated storyline with an ultimately fizzling ending, but a little part of me wants to be surprised by Ross and Krueger. Maybe they can make this one work…or maybe it’s all an insidious plot by Marvel to have this WWII Steve Rogers reclaim his mantle as Captain America in the modern day. Stranger things have happened…*cough*BrandNewDay*cough*

TOR #1

Written & drawn by Joe Kubert Publisher: DC Comics Reviewer: Ambush Bug

This book was like breathing a breath of fresh air in a shitstorm. I'm very frustrated with DC at the moment. The fact that there was a year-long pause between events filled with a maxiseries and a bunch of spinoffs that lacked in both purpose (other than to suck money out of my wallet) and quality has jaded my once feverish passion towards the DCU. I used to love what DC was doing. I felt the better quality product was coming from this company compared to the other guys. What a difference a year can make.
Despite the mountain of FINAL FINAL FINAL crap DC is pouring out right now, there are a few diamonds in the rough. TOR is most definitely one of them. This book made me smile bigger and wider as the pages turned--so much that by the time I finished it, my grin was so wide I could taste my ears. This single issue has reinvigorated my passion for DC. It's proven to be that soft voice in my ear that whispers "everything is going to be ok."
TOR is a caveman story. It follows a simple wanderer who crosses paths with a little monkey boy, a giant crocodile, a tribe of monkey people, and a monster. Content-wise, you're going to be filled after reading this one. In the first 22 pages of this miniseries, Tor has taken quite a journey already. The issue introduces us to Tor himself, sets up a pretty fun and exciting situation, and leaves us on a cliffanger of the most cliffhangerest of proportions.
The writing is extremely strong too. Joe Kubert is a master at his craft. Not only do his pictures pop (we'll get to that in a bit), but he completely understands how pictures and words can work together to tell a story. No caption is redundant. It only adds texture to this comic where no words are spoken.
I especially like the first few pages dedicated to developing the character of Tor. There's a scene where Tor is faced with a dilemma. He can either run in fear or even apathy or Tor can stay and be a hero. Tor's actions depict what may be the first heroic act and it's a doozy. I also enjoyed the panel describing the functionality of the world's first mullet. It had me rolling. Business in the front and party in the back was never explained with so much sense or eloquence.
The art. Well, it's Joe Kubert. One of the modern masters of comic book art. What do you think it's going to look like? It's phenomenal. The postures the characters take are fluid and natural (just check out the way the arm is naturally extended around the mouth of the dinosaur on that cover above). There's a weight to the characters. The juxtaposition of background and foreground are phenomenal. This is a labor of love of the artist and it shows.
I'm excited to read the rest of this miniseries. It's filled with excitement and lush imagery in every panel. The writing is crisp. The characters are fun. And it doesn't have all of the baggage from any type of Crisis. Highly, highly, highly recommended.
Ambush Bug is Mark L. Miller, reviewer and co-editor of AICN Comics for close to seven years. Look for his first published work in MUSCLES & FIGHTS 3 (AVAILABLE NOW!!!) from Cream City Comics.


Writer: Matt Fraction Penciler: Salvador Larroca Publisher: Marvel Comics Reviewed by Humphrey Lee

The first I'd ever heard of Matt Fraction was a couple years back via a column he and Joe Casey did for Comic Book Resources. The name of it escapes me (and search bars fail me) but much like the majority of columns on that site it was always well worth the read. When I saw he also wrote comics it was just a matter of time before I had order myself a copy of his LAST OF THE INDEPENDENTS OGN and pre-ordered the first issue of CASANOVA. And after reading those I had no choice but to ask the man via the Interwebs if he'd be interested in letting me interview him for our little corner of the net here, something I pretty much never do; mainly because I suck at them. Throw in his FIVE FISTS OF SCIENCE with all those excellent works already devoured and I knew I had a new writer whose material I would always at least give a look-see. At the least, I owned him what with the horrible injustice I did the man with that piece of tripe interview I just mentioned from oh so many moons ago (seriously sir, even I marvel at how bad I fucked that up for you. Sooo sorry!).
Oh yeah, found it. It was "The Basement Tapes". There in the Archives. Dur. Go read it after you're done with this. Anyways...
And now here we are. Our boy is all grown up and getting to debut a new series for the character that has been dominating the box office for almost two weeks now, Iron Man. And just like I've come to expect from the Fractor, it delivered. Not that I wasn't expecting it to, but at the same time I kind of wasn't. Obviously we know that the man underneath the armor, Tony Stark, has hit a much larger role than we've ever seen from him. Fitting for sure, especially with his history as a "futurist", but also kind of daunting to write because of all that added attention. The amount of books we're already seeing him appear in is pretty staggering, let alone with his own book to carry, an Avengers team to co-lead, and that Director of SHIELD title he has now. At the very least it's made the character a little inconsistent with how he's depicted post-CIVIL WAR.
Well in INVINCIBLE here, this is definitely IRON MAN.
Sure he's still got to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, but we're a little more introspective with the man those belong to here. A little dab of the playboy here, a glimpse at the boy inside still marveling at something like a space laugh, something you'd figure someone who has seen as much as he has would take for granted. Thanks to that film we're even getting more Pepper Potts now, which I'm extra happy for because I thought we'd see her fade into the gulch of wasted potential alongside THE ORDER, another Fraction series, though that was cut painfully short. He definitely knew there he had a nice and plucky supporting player to work with, and here she does wonders albeit briefly.
Besides establishing just what version of Tony we can expect to see here, a good bit of this issue was to set up his new big bad, something else I wasn't sure what to expect because if there's any knock I'd have with IRON MAN books, it's that his talent pool of arch-nemeses leaves a bit to be desired. Fraction and Co. take what is probably the best route here to establish a new villain but one with ties to the past in Ezekiel Stane. I'm sure that last name rings a bell. And quite the malicious little bastard he has turned out to be. Smart, sadistic, and with a chip on his shoulder. Should prove to be a very interesting foil in the upcoming months for sure.
Obviously this isn't just the Matt Fraction show; there's still the very capable and oft times downright impressive art of Salvador Larrocca at hand as well. The detail is there, the lines are smooth and make the Iron Man armor look very impressive, and there's some really good flow between the panels. He definitely depicts the scattered amounts of chaos throughout this issue very well. There are a couple little stumbles here and there though, but not terribly much. A couple little instances where a facial expression really didn't convey anything at all, or was way too enlarged for the head it was on, or the opposite. That could be cause for concern but they seem more like hiccups to me than anything else. By and large the art is pretty stellar.
So, all that happened. There's a new IRON MAN book on the market and it's off to a really, really good start. Matt Fraction is still churning out hits like I always thought he would. Larocca's still a hell of an artist and seems to have kicked his "facial swipe" habit, which is good to see. The same formula that made the movie a hit with the casual fans is here again to make this a sure hit with the die hards and hopefully catch some spillover from the feature film. It definitely couldn't have happened to a better character, and it sure as hell is the enthusiastic pat on the back for a job well done that this creative team is well on its way to earning. Congratulations to all.
Humphrey Lee is a long time AICN reviewer and also a certified drunk whose claim to fame is making it up four steps of the twelve step program before vomiting on steps five and six and then falling asleep on steps one through three. Also, chances are, he's banged your mom (depending on the relative hotness of said parental figure) and is probably the father of one of your younger siblings.


Writer: Bruce Jones Artist: Chris Gugliotti Cover: Dave Taylor Publisher: Wildstorm Reviewed by: BottleImp

Let me first say that I am not a TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE fan. I think the original movie has its merits, but the most effective thing about it is the “documentary” feel that came from the low budget filming. I thought the remake was pretty bad, and the prequel even worse. Normally, I wouldn’t even look twice at a comic based on the movies. However, a friend of a friend was involved in the production of this series, so I thought I’d take a look at it and give them a little free publicity.
The story begins with Leatherface and his cannibal clan carving up some unwary travelers for dinner. They return to the house just in time to see the birth of the two newest members of the Hewitt family, Cain and Abel. Their mother, Henrietta, apparently still has a couple of brain cells working and decides that she can’t raise babies in the midst of a nest of people-eaters and tries to leave. Her family tries to stop Henrietta, her babies are separated, and the end of this issue sees Cain found by a couple of redneck kids. I’m assuming from the title of the series that the following issues will focus on Cain’s new home life.
The Hewitts presented here are clearly based more on the remake of TCM—they have the same over-the-top cartooniness to them, rather than the more creepy demented feel that the family had in the original film. Gugliotti’s designs are a good match for the unrealistic tone—his characters are very stylized and grotesque. However, the coloring of the comic often detracts from the drawings. The majority of the pages are handled with a very limited color palette, and a lot of the color is on the dark side. This emphasis on dark colors tends to obscure the action—this is especially true of a splash page of Leatherface on page 5; even when looking at it in strong light, it’s hard to make out exactly what’s going on. It also doesn’t help that the backgrounds are often never clearly established. I’m still not quite sure where Henrietta is supposed to be when she’s running away from her family.
Between the copious amount of blood and organs flying around and some of the dialogue that Jones writes (my personal favorite: “Shit cakes and fried scrotums… bitch went and squeezed a pair o’ damn twins!”), this comic has more in common with a Troma film than with TCM, and it’s definitely not going to be for everyone. However, if you like quirky artwork and the sight of two inbred rednecks fighting over who gets to eat the afterbirth, then TCM: RAISING CAIN just might be your cup of tea…or cup of placenta, as it were.


Writer: Brian Michael Bendis Artist: Alex Maleev Colorist: Matt Hollingsworth Publisher: Marvel Comics Reviewer: Rock-Me Amodeo

Okay, I didn’t get the memo. Did any of you get the memo? You know, the memo that explained how, for the next few months, it doesn’t matter what the title is on the cover?
‘Cause when I first read this, I was a little peeved. After all, there was only one Avenger in NEW AVENGERS (an image of Spiderwoman.) And there’s only one Avenger in MIGHTY AVENGERS (Ares, for a panel or four.) I mean, I suppose the thought must be that we’ll buy anything as long as it relates.
I felt like I was tuning into The Truman Show. “Doesn’t matter if he’s sleeping, working, picking his nose,” cackles the producer, “they’ll still tune in, heh, heh, heh!” But when I tune in to THIS channel, I would like to see some Avengers, thank you very much. I felt abused.
But then…but then…I re-read it. And I re-read SECRET INVASION #2, which was chock-full of Avengery goodness. And I let myself enjoy Maleev’s art. And I do love a good “assemble the team” story, though it seemed a little rushed at the end (but not so rushed that we couldn’t get an excellent scene with Layla Miller, whom I like more and more.) My extreme dislike was turning into something much nicer: slight annoyance. I can live with that.
So here is the new status quo: every title that Bendis is writing is his palette for this Skrull thing, at least for the duration. I will cut the guy some slack as long as he keeps my interest.
And Bendis has, so far, kept his end of the deal.
I did notice that enough time had elapsed between the first scene and the last one that Nick Fury regained his Caucasian-ness and grew his hair back, but you know, maybe he was wearing a skull cap in the first scene. No big.
So what’s going to happen to our little troop of caterpillars? I have no idea.
All I know is that I really WANT to know. And along the way, I got to see some excellent artwork with fully realized backgrounds and wonderful coloring and…well, despite my best intentions, I liked it.


Writers: Geoff Johns & Richard Donner Artist: Kubert Publisher: DC Comics Reviewer: Optimous Douche

When I first heard the rumblings about a new Superman movie way back in the early 2000s I was elated. The fact that the movie was not going to be a reboot, but rather a continuation of the second Superman movie, sent my mind spinning on all of the cool new things the digital age would bring to the movie while still holding reverence for the brilliance of the first two films. Then the film came out.
While I didn’t hate “Superman Returns”, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Singer and crew made the story such a convoluted mess. Why did Superman leave for five years? Krypton blew up, that’s a staple of the Superman mythos. What the hell was he looking for, a Kryptonian hanging out on a chunk of planet like “The Little Prince”? Lois and Clark have a child with super powers? I guess Supersemen is still potent despite Superman being stripped of all powers when he makes sweet, sweet, super love. I understand James Marsden has been dubbed the whipping post of movie relationships, but was Richard truly necessary?
I invoke “Superman Returns” in this review because ACTION ANNUAL 11 is everything that movie should have been and more. Epic storytelling combined with grand scope imagery that not only jumps off the page, it bitch slaps you and calls you Sally. Quite frankly, if the rumors of a new Superman movie are true and Warner Brothers doesn’t leverage this creative team, they would be making a mistake comparable to “Superman III: The Fall of Richard Pryor”.
Being a story guy at heart, I don’t generally lead off reviews by focusing on the art. I know my flaws; I am closer to autistic than artistic, and the closest I ever came to studying art theory was when I slept with an art major in college for a week. Even still, while I know nothing about what makes for good art, I know what I like and what moves me. Kubert is not only a comic artist; he is a master, based solely on this issue. I wish I had the resources and the energy to frame every panel of this book to hang in my man-cave.
Right from the cover, Kubert doesn’t waste an ounce of real estate in this conclusion to the Last Son saga started in ACTION proper. I don’t know if it was an editorial or art decision to have the front cover minutia (e.g. The DC logo, price, creative team) written in Kryptonian when you hold the book upside down, but it was damn clever, and made me spend more time with a cover than I have in years. This is also the first time where I have seen an annual format used to its full potential. Generally these are just bloated tomes of regular format; however, more pages do not always equate to a better book. Kubert uses all of the space afforded him with sweeping panels that cross pages and stir the imagination. Every two page splash embodies the horror of what would happen to a city if it was ruled by those that viewed humanity as gnats. Pay close attention to the two page spread towards the end of the book you need to flip horizontally, it would be monumental to see this shot on the big screen.
Characterization: We’ve known for a long time that Johns and Donner get the characters in the Superman mythos. Donner is of course the master of Superman tales for thirty plus years and I have yet to find the chink in Johns’ storytelling armor when it pertains to Supes. But with this one book, both gentlemen brought every ounce of reverence and creativity penned up inside of them.
Lex Luthor can be one of the most complex villains in comicdom. Too often, though, writers take the easy way out and portray him as a man bent on destroying Superman because he is more powerful or simply because he gets in the way of Lex’s schemes for financial gain (i.e. “Superman Returns”). Bullshit. At his heart Lex is a humanist and to a certain extent a xenophobe. He hates Superman for the same reason the Romans hated Jesus. Superman is an upset to the status quo of humanity being at the top of the food chain. Superman also stops us from relying on our own wherewithal. We don’t need to excel as a species because we could never be as great as the Blue Boy Scout, so why should we even try? Every panel oozes Lex’s disdain for the Kryptonian invasion force and the fact that he needs to partner with Superman (and other rogues) to topple Zod’s army. Yet he unflinchingly goes there to save humanity. Likewise, I loved Superman’s bravado towards the fact that Lex’s weapons might stop Zod, but it will be a cold day in the Fortress of Solitude before they would ever stop him.
Lex is also best when portrayed as a victim of circumstance. Despite the fact it was his ideas and resources that ultimately allowed Superman to topple the Crips of the Phantom Zone, credit instead is given to Chris Kent. This was an amazing twist, which actually makes you empathize with the bald bastard for a brief moment.
I’ve gushed about Johns’ writing in review after review, but this book was truly something special even for Johns’ immense talent. I can only guess that Kubert and Donner bring out the best in the man. I would love to see someone do an interview with these three greats on how they fed one another’s creative juices and if there is anything more in store for the future. Buy it, read it, bag it. This is a book that will remain indelibly burned into the cerebellum of any comic fan that is lucky enough to read it.

ENGINE Online Comic

By Tim Tyler Website: Reviewer: Ambush Bug

Again, I bring you the opportunity to read comics for free! Free, I tell you. This time, we’re moving our meeses to The Drunk Duck online comic website , a hub for online comics for all sorts of tastes. My apologies to Tim Tyler who sent me a link to his online comic ENGINE quite a while ago. Being swamped with real life mumbo and AICN jumbo, I just got around to reading every page of ENGINE in one sitting.
Turns out, this is the best way to enjoy this story, because it’s one of those bold strokes storytelling epics that deserves to be digested in big chunks. The story jumps to three locations following 1. a missing pirate Han Solo type of sorts who turns out to be not so missing, 2. an apprentice and master fighting a giant Celestial-like robot-thing, and 3. a powerful evil lord planning something world-shattering and evil. These cheesy descriptions don’t do the scenes justice, though. Tyler pops back and forth between the three plots and makes their eventual intersection highly anticipated and cleverly developed. Elements are definitely borrowed from STAR WARS, Silver Age super-hero comics, LORD OF THE RINGS, and martial arts films. But this isn’t one of those “throw something against the wall and see what sticks” sort of reads. It’s a fully realized universe with interesting characters and an expansive plot.
Aside from the epic scope of the story, the true highlight of this webcomic is the art. To say it is Kirby-esque is just about right. Tyler himself talked about his Kirby influences when he emailed me the link. There are plenty of highly detailed, yet boldly lined characters bursting into each other and COMIN’-AT-CHA!!! from the panel. Tyler incorporates quite a few splash pages in this book, but never did I get the feeling that this was a gratuitous gesture. Tyler’s story simply calls for splashes with all of the fighting, shocking twists, and exciting events occurring in the story.
All in all, this is a webcomic that I plan on clicking back to as the story develops. About three full issues are finished, so if you start on page one, be sure to reserve a bit of time to play catch up. Not sure when new pages drop, but this is definitely a comic worth revisiting. Plus, as always with dot.comics, the damn thing is free, so there’s no excuse not to check it out. Just follow the above link and click through the pages of ENGINE. There are a lot of hidden treasures floating out there in the internet—ENGINE is one of them.


By Yoshito Usui Publisher: CMX Reviewer: Scott Green

One way to explain comedy is "the disparity between the ideal and the actual." The first of Yoshito Usui's CRAYON SHIN CHAN short manga immediately engages that divide. It opens with mother Mitzi Nohara cooking in her kitchen. She realizes that she's missing ingredients for the meal, so she calls her five year old son Shinosuke, or to use the diminutive "Shin-chan", to send him out to the store. When he replies "I can't right now! I'm drawing," she pictures herself soft-selling him by praising his work, and then suggesting that he run the errand for her. Instead, when she goes to see his work, she finds the precociously vulgar kindergartener with his pants down, drawing an elephant face on his groin.
Through this child with no concept of empathy screwing up the laundry, pissing on the floor, aggravating the fast food counter worker and so on, the manga is able to laugh at the expense of flaws in the nuclear family and the imperfect joints in social composure. Especially for an irreverent minded audience, Shin Chan's ruthless assassination of social mores is consistently grin-worthily, and when it twists the knife or catches an unexpected jab, it's laugh out loud funny.
The manga is structured around three page stories that generally run on a theme. For example, the first volume features about 20 pages on swimming: swimming at school, in the public pool, on vacation, and finally in a back yard kiddie pool. Each of those three page stories demonstrates Shin Chan, actively winding up his victim (dropping trou, probing strangers with explicitly personal questions) or otherwise acting as a catalyst for acute stress (being very present when his parent wants to get intimate, performing typical loud kid's activities when his father is trying to work.)
To reiterate a point made in the recent AICN piece on the SHIN CHAN anime, saying that Shin Chan is the fool who sends-up middle class composure might be overstating the case, but there is an element of satirical subversion in this dervish who upends polite social order by introducing sex and bodily functions into any situation. On one hand he's a ravenous consumer of material excess and a devout media junkie who can't separate fiction from reality; on the other, he's often quicker to see through BS than others.
Part of what makes SHIN CHAN a uniquely amusing comic device is that he'll speak loudly to demand attention, but he rarely yells out due to emotional outbursts. Nor does he snicker or otherwise sadistically acknowledge his mischief. Instead, he'll nonchalantly introduce himself with a "yo" and then commence the trouble making. As such, he pushes other people to cross the same social boundaries that he tramples over. Whether it is rage, vanity or lust, he drags the flaw into the open. Some of the best running gags in the series concern the fits that people throw in response to Shin-related stress.
The CRAYON SHIN CHAN manga makes for an interesting counter point to the anime. In addition to the differences in media, CMX is starting at the beginning, where as FUNimation is starting their release of the anime years into the run.
Though FUNimation has stretched the humor in their localization of the SHIN CHAN anime by inserting button-pushing barbs about sex, politics, religion, drugs and so on, according to Clement and McCarthy's Anime Encyclopedia, when SHIN CHAN was adapted for Japanese television in the 90's, airing on a 7:00pm time slot, 68% of its viewers were under age 12. As a result, the anime cast Shin Chan in the role of perennial antagonist for the Japanese PTA, which sited the show as a cause for a generation of rude children. In contrast, Yoshito Usui's original CRAYON SHIN CHAN manga ran in WEEKLY MANGA ACTION, a seinen anthology for older teenage/young adult males that ran Monkey Punch's LUPIN III, the story in which the notion of a gentleman thief is devolved into a MAD MAGAZINE inspired gag comedy full of attempted rape and attempted murder, Kazuo Koike and Goseki Kojima's pulp samurai fiction LONE WOLF AND CUB, and even the introspective look at the atomic bombing of Hiroshima a decade, then a generation after the event, TOWN OF EVENING CALM, COUNTRY OF CHERRY BLOSSOMS. Because it was written for older readers, the manga does not operate like one of those animated movies that tries to work on two levels, goofy for the kids and sly for the adults. When Shin starts camping in the porn magazine racks of a book store, or asks random women about their pubic hair, the implicit assumption is that any reader understands the gag.
Without his drawn out child meets old man voice or the kinetic sequences in which he's bouncing around, waving his naked rear, the Shin Chan of the manga has a lighter presence than his anime equivalent. Instead, he exudes a demonic Zen from under his huge eyebrows. While other children might throw temper tantrums, Shin acts as a catalyst for getting other people to react. He might be the star of the show, but he can be as much a device as a personality.
It is self evident that three page stories are shorter than most manga chapters and longer than 4 panel strips (also called 4 koma or yonkoma). Many manga like SHIN CHAN, that similarly present short, mundane situations, such as AZUMANGA DAIOH or LUCKY STAR, use the 4 koma format. That applies a regimented beat to the manga. There's always a linear progression of introduction, development, climax, conclusion. Three pages for a SHIN CHAN gag is still short and quickly consumable but that extra space allows more complete exchanges within the premise of the particular story. Given that the center piece of SHIN CHAN is people losing their composure, the rapid back and forth is the manga's key dynamic. The reader quickly picks up on Shin's repertoire, and knows he's going to irk the subject victim of the story. Yet, because of this element of chaos, the manga can be predictable and still provoked shocked laughter. For the same reason, the manga does not labor to trump itself and it does not get into a war of escalating previous interactions. Each is its own acute crisis.
Apart from the Hawaiian, English subtitled airing of the anime, localization has consistently been a concern with North American releases of CRAYON SHIN CHAN. The CRAYON SHIN CHAN manga was previously released in North America by the now defunct ComicsOne label. The chief problem with that release was that its heavy localization was not handled gracefully. Talk of pop stars and Oreo cookies was intrusively out of place for a story that was obviously Japanese. Six volumes into their release, ComicsOne also began using localized versions of the character names. While FUNimation's handling of the anime is far from literal, the seams are not as apparent as they were in the ComicsOne translation. The CMX version still references Jessica Alba and such, but the compromises to improve the accessibility of the dialog are minor and generally, it reads likes a less labored effort, where the changes do not distract from the content. The premises of jokes are kept intact, as are the names, down to minor and incidental characters.
There are several running jokes in the manga that aren't in the FUNimation version of the anime, either due to the fact that FUNimation started the series from a later point, or because of the changes introduced in their localization. The former category includes Shinobu, a local college student who is serially subjected to Shin Chan antics while she's working part time jobs, usually culminating in her rage getting her fired. An example of one of the gags that the FUNimimation adaptation supersedes, but which CMX maintains, is that the principal of Shin Chan's kindergarten is a burly looking guy with a mustache and loud, tacky jackets. Everyone kind of thinks he looks like a yakuza gangster. As always, Shin Chan is the one to address it loudly and directly, pointing to the guy and yelling "it's the yakuza" while the other children run in fear, or responding to instructions to form a line by loudly wondering "what if he's herding us to be sold to a foreign nation?" If you watch the Japanese audio/English subtitled episode on the DVD release of the anime, there's a reference to this. (This may have been employed in later episodes of the FUNimation English audio adaptation as well, I've only seen the first 13 episode DVD set.) While the particular joke is taken to an excessive degree in a few cases, it's still a bit more subtle and credible than the heavily accented FUNimation version.
Essentially, CRAYON SHIN CHAN is a great, harmless outlet for anti-social sentiment. There are works of seinen manga that try to recapture the innocence and wonder of youth--the award nominated, yet inexplicably hard to find YOTSUBA&! for one. Then, there's CRAYON SHIN CHAN, which delights in youth's guilt free rampages of unfettered ego.
Scott Green has been writing for AICN ANIME for close to seven years. If you like what you see here and love anime & manga, be sure to check out his latest AICN ANIME column here.


by Tatsuo Yoshida Released by Digital Manga Publishing Reviewer: Scott Green

Digital Manga Publishing's (DMP) collection of SPEED RACER offers brilliantly fun pop art in a beautiful collection. The entire run of the manga is collected in a two volume set housed in a box bearing the design of the racing series' famous Mach 5 car. It boasts the sort of iconic, retro look that a long time SPEED RACER fan would want from their definitive collection of the material: nicely what it is, of its time, without applying anachronistic sentiments. Panels and pages are arranged in the original Japanese right to left, which might make the collection difficult for some non-manga reading, SPEED RACER fans, but beyond that, the reproduction and localization is clean and clear. Especially factoring in the manga's age, with the quality of its ink and paper, it's great looking printing. With touches like translating the sound effect illustration next to, in the style of, the original Japanese the adaptations offers a very transparent localization.
For fans of manga, it is welcome to receive this sort of well preserved time-capsule release, but the rationale owes less to SPEED RACER's artistic merit than it does the title's enduring niche in American culture and its regular revivals.
SPEED RACER was part of the second wave of modern manga, after ASTRO BOY, TETSUJIN 28 and 8-MAN, contemporaneous with LUPIN III and before the major works of Go Nagai. Anime had already become a factor in the market. Everything was fresh, up and running. SPEED RACER took to that with what has been credited as part James Bond gadget-mobile, part VIVA LAS VEGAS and parlayed it into a feverish petrol-sport merry-go-round. Bouncing, hurtling cars were tearing up the road with a hurricane of speed lines in their wake. In fast pages it was sending packs of cars ripping around mountain bends, where the slow or dull were doomed to plummet and explode.
I wanted to say that there is a brief moment, earlier in SPEED RACER, where the manga was not quite campy, where it dealt with a real context and concerned itself with the Japanese automotive industry trying to assert itself on the world stage. However, when I returned to the first volume, and opened up the first chapter, I found that it didn't quite open with Pops Racer trying to protect his engine innovation and east-west-cooperation. Of course, it opens with Speed Racer himself burning rubber on a fantastic race track, before skittzing off with visions of Pops barking reprimands ringing in his head.
The manga version of SPEED RACER might be slightly lighter on the gadgets than the famous anime, but in terms of two fisted automotive adventure, with blind driving, sailing over cliffs, thrown wrenches, punches and bodies, the SPEED RACER manga speeds towards craziness at full throttle. SPEED RACER might not be artistically enduring, but the way its earnest white hat protagonist will pick up a tommy gun and start blasting at assailants, or the way that his father will start throwing fists when his work is maligned, or even a bound, old man hostage will bite his captors demonstrates a boy's exuberance that still makes SPEED RACER memorably fun.
SPEED RACER can be exciting, but it's not surprising. Unlike what Osamu Tezuka or Shotaro Ishinomori were frequently attempting, it wasn't parlaying the entertainment into something touching or significant. Despite multi-chapter stories, the manga does not have the continuity associated with popular boys'/shonen manga of recent decades. Pops Racer built an incredible car that Speed wasn't ready to use in racing competitions, but with Pops fuming, under the knowing eyes of Mom and girlfriend Trixie, Speed was going to use that car to compete in some wacky race, usually encountering the mysterious Racer X along the way. There's at least an effort to always have Speed going to some far off place, racing strange people under stranger circumstances.
Especially deep into the manga, the results are inconsistent. The Alpine Race with its Car Acrobatics team and handicap driving final leg is wonderfully outlandish, but some of the convolutions don't pick up excitement with their swerves.
The manga collection is positioned more for the bookshelf of the SPEED RACER enthusiast than the manga archivist. It opens with personal history mixed with behind the scenes from Peter Fernandez, the voice and pen behind the work to localize Tatsunoko Production's 1967 anime “Mach Go Go Go” as “Speed Racer”. Then, the translation precedes to use the names familiar to American audience since the animated series hit American TV: Speed Racer rather than Go Mifune, Trixie rather than Mitchi, Rex Racer aka Racer X rather than Kenichi Mifune aka Masked Racer. It's a trade-off between representing Speed Racer's significance in American pop culture, and Mach Go Go Go's in the manga tradition, and it's a trade-off between cleverness in one language and another. Both the original Japanese and the American adaptation are heavy on puns. The Japanese plays with the homonym "go" as Japanese for 5 and "go" as an English word, while the American adaptation has fun with names like Tongue Blaggard and Lightfingers Klepto.
Readers Talkback
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  • May 14, 2008, 7:21 a.m. CST

    Still no GlamourPuss review...

    by DuncanHines

    It's cool. That book sucked. I took my copy out back and burned it.

  • May 14, 2008, 7:22 a.m. CST

    Just Dave Sim blowing himself...

    by DuncanHines

    ...about how well he can trace photographs and Al Williamson's artwork.

  • May 14, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    jon favreau's on stern...

    by doodah

    and he's hinting at demon in a bottle for ironman II....bust a nut!!!!

  • May 14, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Wouldnt it be cool if AICN

    by ingloriousjedi

    ran a short film competition. You guys seriously gotta do that! PLEASE!

  • May 14, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Terrible hardcovers I bought this week...

    by Laserhead

    I picked up JSA, the Next Age, and JSA, Thy Kingdom Come. Christ, I hadn't yet read Johns' new run on JSA, but how the mighty have fallen. I think this is one of the stupidest books I've ever read. At one point in 'Thy Kingdom Come', the entire JSA is fighting a burning building by forming a single file line to pass a bucket of water. Really. On the other hand, I also got a TPB of Morrison's Aztek-the Ultimate Man, and love it.

  • May 14, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Yeah, after reading some Glamourpuss reviews...

    by Laserhead

    I got my fix for 'realistic' black and white art by ordering old TPBs of Mark Schultz's Xenozoic Tales.

  • May 14, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Actually, Glamourpuss DID have a good joke or two.

    by rev_skarekroe

    I can't remember what they were, but I do remember chuckling at least once. And maybe cracking a smile one time, too.

  • May 14, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    I saw the Glamourpuss preview...

    by Squashua

    ... and instantly realized it was not my cup of tea and therefore something I would not need to purchase or review.

  • May 14, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    Damn You Michael Bay


    Damn You Michael Bay

  • May 14, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Nick to Steve : "I always did make you look like a piker"

    by V'Shael

    From way way back.

  • May 14, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    is gren Arrow's son...

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    really supposed to be better than ANY DCU character at fighting? <p>really?

  • May 14, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    GREEN Arrow.

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet


  • May 14, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Holy mother of gawd! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRST!!!!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi


  • May 14, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Hey loserguy3000!

    by rock-me Amodeo

    This is the comics section. The Schlocumentary section is thet-a-way...Oh, can't see my hands? Well, it's somewhere else.

  • May 14, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    No walking dead?

    by JBouganim1

  • May 14, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    and speaking of green arrow...

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    wanna know how big a dork i am?<p>when i'm sitting at a traffic light, waiting to turn left, i always chuckle to myself that i'm waiting on the green arrow to show up.<p>eventually he does. my hero.

  • May 14, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST


    by steverodgers

    I think this tournament is pretty cool for folks that like writing that type of thing, and it’s easy to skip if you aren’t interested. However a contest I would more interested in reading would be a Top-Reviewer AICN Idol type thing, where the talk-backers who wanted too, would have to review the same book, say secret invasion #3 or whatever, then you all could vote on them ala top-chef, or talk-backers could vote on the best – and then the winner gets to review comics on AICN… eh? Admit it, it would be kind of fun to read 35 reviews of Secret Invasion #3 and then try to pick the best. Maybe it would be a nightmare… I’d read it though.

  • May 14, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Pretty Baby Machine

    by Laserhead

    IS an awesome title for a gangster book. Sold.

  • May 14, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    I'm really starting to enjoy these....

    by Buckys_Kick_Ass_Arm

    Although my ultimate match to see would be Daredevil versus Nightwing.

  • May 14, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Hawkeye as Ronin = Fucking Awesome

    by messi

    that was such a cool idea, to turn him into a badass ninja master and then have him and spidey be comedy buddies. works fucking well. New Avengers is a badass team.

  • May 14, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    No Chink in Geoff Johns' Superman?

    by messi

    I'm a mega huge Geoff Johns fan and although this Superman is very very entertaining and well written, his stubborn devotion to thos shitty Donner Superman movies is fucking retarded. I just get the feeling he's trying to cram as much of that mythos to either not hurt Richard Donner(who used to be his boss) or to impress him. The Crystal tech, the shitty Superman Returns Costume, making Clark mild mannered and bumbling again, this stupid idea that Clark decided to be a hero when he was young so wore the glasses as a kid which is fucking comic booky and retarded. The backstory should have been done like Smallville, the only one to so far get a non campy backstory that you might actually believe. The idea of making Clark small and have him already decide to be a hero as a kid is stupid.

  • May 14, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST


    by rock-me Amodeo

    I guess everyone is waiting for their stimulus check to arrive...

  • May 14, 2008, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Agree/Disagree Messi

    by optimous_douche

    I think you can see exactly the parts that Donner touched.<p> The crystals should not be fully interactive.<p> Jor-el should not look like Dan Fogleberg.<p> Since my review was approaching 1000 words, (Bug hooks a battery to our testicles for every 100 words over 800) I decided to avoid the nits.<p>

  • May 14, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    Jor-el/Dan Fogelberg

    by rock-me Amodeo

    That would make him the leader of the HEAD-band.

  • May 14, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST


    by optimous_douche

    And he's always going to be with the "Same Old Lara-El"

  • May 14, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST


    by Err

  • May 14, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST


    by blackthought

    it's all in the wrist. that and possibly hgh.

  • as one could very well acuse him of helping to spur on the speculator market that almost killed the industry...he frequently hyped the prices that back issues of valiant were getting, as a result of his purposefully making sure that print runs of first editions were extremely low...he created the coupons for issue zero so that consumers would feel the need to buy more than one of every issue...good businessman, sure...good comic guy...not

  • The resemblance is uncanny, but the real tip off came when he told Superman not to "take his love to town." See, now that I've pointed it out, it all fits now, right? <br> <br> But that's not what I came to talk about. Actually I had a question: Was it just me, or did that ACTION ANNUAL seem like it came out a little late this month? It could just be my anticipation talking, but it seems like it might have been a week or so late. Then again, I could be wrong. I mean, there was absolutely no mention of lateness in the review. Must be my imagination.

  • May 14, 2008, 4:42 p.m. CST

    Casino spokesman Kenny Rogers

    by Greggers

    Man, the subject line cutoff is so short these days! I remember when you could write a novel in those suckers. At least they haven't started limiting the main commen

  • May 14, 2008, 4:45 p.m. CST

    Why Supes was gone 5 years

    by jocutus

    This is my theory regarding why Singer & Co. felt a need for Superman to be missing at the beginning of "Superman Returns". The movie came out in 2006, he was gone 5 years, thus explaining to all the little boys and girls where Superman was when we really needed him on September 11, 2001. Also, if he's not gone, how can he return?

  • May 14, 2008, 4:56 p.m. CST

    Shooter Invented the Coupon Really???

    by optimous_douche

    My memory is resin filled and hazy, but I seem to remember it was Image that spurred the whole redeemable coupon craze with their beginning issues -- not Valiant.<p> Now Defiant...that was an exercise in selling out.<p> I stand by my review. Shooter may not be a comic God, but those beginning days of Valiant produced some great stories.

  • May 14, 2008, 4:59 p.m. CST

    Supe Movie/Late Issue

    by optimous_douche

    Dear God, if they came up with that insipid plot device just so he could "return" in the most literal sense, my disdain for marketers and hype machines just grew 10 fold.<p> This issue of Action was the movie.<p> I don't know if it was late, when it hits the shelf I buy it. No Previews or Wizard for me, just comics.<p> I will say though it was victim of a convoluted publishing schedule by starting the story, stopping it, and then concluding it in the annual many months later.

  • May 14, 2008, 5:32 p.m. CST

    In the words of AICN poster Darth Siskel...

    by Greggers

    "The great thing about sarcasm is that it translates so well in print." <br> <br> I was actually sarcastically referring to the shipping schedule -- the horribly, horribly late shipping schedule -- which resulted in ACTION ANNUAL concluding the story a year after it was initially planned to end. <br> <br> This is a big deal. <br> <br> In fact, I think this is such a big deal that if I had written the review, I wouldn't have called it ACTION ANNUAL #11, I would have called it THE HORRIBLY HORRIBLY LATE ACTION ANNUAL #11. Repeatedly. In the lede of the review, I might have said something like: <br><br> "I've seen some late comics in my time, but THE HORRIBLY HORRIBLY LATE ACTION ANNUAL #11 takes the cake." <br><br> When discussing the art, it's possible that I might have said something like: <br><br> "Kubert's art is very nice, but *Jesus Christ*, did it have to take a freaking YEAR to draw it??" <br><br> When the time came to wind up the review, I might have said something like: <br><br> "In conclusion, THE HORRIBLY HORRIBLY LATE ACTION ANNUAL #11 had its good qualities and its bad qualities, but striking among them is the fact that this issue will go down in Superman comic history -- nay, perhaps even *comic* history -- for setting a new benchmark for regular series lateness.<br><br> PS: In case I haven't made my point clear, ACTION ANNUAL #11 = HORRIBLY HORRIBLY LATE. As in 'not on time.'" <br><br> Of course, I didn't write the review. You did, Optimous, and all kidding aside, you did a great job, nearly inspiring me to buy the sucker. In fact, I think I will buy it...I may just be a little late about it.

  • May 14, 2008, 5:39 p.m. CST

    Can we see the casting that the winners did

    by hallmitchell

    For the X-O Manowar comp? Just thought it would be interesting.

  • May 14, 2008, 6:49 p.m. CST

    Hawkeye as Ronin

    by JonQuixote

    Is it really awesome? Really? Dammit, do I have to go buy comics now?

  • May 14, 2008, 6:49 p.m. CST


    by JonQuixote

    I responded to you really late on the previous thread.

  • May 14, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    And since I'm here...

    by JonQuixote

    Want to see a man slowly lose his mind? I'm currently in the process of reading every HULK comic ever made. Consecutively. And blogging about it. Read about the MIGHTY MARVEL MARATHON at

  • May 14, 2008, 11:09 p.m. CST are right, but

    by bacci40

    valiant took the coupon thing to a new level...and no one wouldve even noticed valiant had shooter not made sure that the first issue of solar had a tiny print run...and then he trumpted the prices of solar back issues on all the letter pages....go back and crack those books open...i didnt buy into any of the fucked up hype...and i remember turning on the home shopping network, and them trying to sell valiant comics at extremely inflated prices...i fuckin wanted to puke...dont you guys remember the days of, if you didnt get it by wednesday nite, it cost double by friday? retailers would hold copies back just to sell at inflated prices the following week...i still remember getting ripped off when i was trying to fill in the morrison doom patrol series...the caishe i wasted makes me wanna heave...especially when i was able to buy the entire watchmen series from the bargain bins (every issue in mint to near mint condition)

  • May 15, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    Gppd Choice On Hulk, JQ

    by Buzz Maverik

    Ya got the Cold War. You've got a hero who doesn't look like other heroes, act like other heroes and certainly isn't treated like other heroes, who has an almost alien sense of motivation...which makes him all the more heroic.

  • May 15, 2008, 4:33 a.m. CST

    Those weren't Superman Returns problems.

    by messi

    those are plot points that are just part of the problem, ie how he had a kryptonite shiv and lifted an island. that doesn't mean it's a bad movie etc, it was a bad movie on it's own. badly made. when supes is in space listening for danger, and hears the bank robbery and comes in, gets shot and then shot in the eye and then does a smirk and cuts to another scene. WHAT THE FUCK! There was no magic moments in it. Actually the intro was magic before the credits. But Smallville has magic moments every few episodes. The season 7 premiere with the damn. Amazing shit. Stuff that should warm your inner fanboy. But yeah I thought 'movie' aswell on that big double page spread. I still think Johns' is putting back some of the dumbest aspects of the superman mythos in action. It's too 'comic booky' not logical etc, anti batman begins if anything, smallville has done a great job at making it believable if there were such a thing possible and now this idea of a kid with glasses is just fucking retarded. I hated hated when i think it was cosmic boy says he won't have to hide behind those glasses for long. Lame. Smallville's take that if you were going to be the world's greatest hero, it wouldn't be a quick change, it'd be an epic journey, seriously, who gets powers and says 'i'm going to save the world', it'd take years to mentally come to such a decision. Just like the years from age 8 to 22 it took Bruce Wayne to even decide to do something, and then a few years to decide exactly what to do. Johns' idea is too childish.

  • May 15, 2008, 4:35 a.m. CST

    Who cares if it's late.

    by messi

    rather it come out at all than change teams and put out a piece of shit, case in point Infinite Crisis #7.

  • May 15, 2008, 5:45 a.m. CST


    by optimous_douche

    I guess I didn't have this problem becasue I've always been able to help my LCS count in books.<p> Since I was pulling the shit out of the box and working pro bono, they have never tried to hold anything back from me.<p> I'll tell you though I blame the greedy fuck retailers as much as the publishers, maybe even more so.<p> After all the publishers don't reap the fiduciary rewards of a bloated sticker price. They just get a cut of the bar code price.<p> They might benefit from the hype or they might not, that's a marketing crap shoot. In this case it worked.<p> There very well may have been some nefarious shit going on behindthe scenes, but Valiant still put out some dam good books.<p> It's been fifteen years, you can get 7 issues now for $25 if you want, time to let the hate go and just enjoy the ride.

  • May 15, 2008, 8:04 a.m. CST

    800 word limit?

    by Shigeru

    Does it not apply to the manga reviews? Because those are a lot longer and therefore sometimes harder to get into.

  • May 15, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST


    by steverodgers

    hulk blog is a fun read. great idea.

  • May 15, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    I was kidding

    by optimous_douche

    bug, doesn't really fry our testicles for going over 800 words.<p> We try to be cautious of it though.

  • May 15, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Thanks Buzz & Steve

    by JonQuixote

    I didn't really get into Hulk when I was little Jon. But everything Buzz says is true - there's a lot of variety to the Hulk and his stories. It's a rich mine and it makes good use of the Marvel U.

  • May 15, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    I gotta disagree about Shooter...

    by Psynapse

    Just because he got clever about how to generate buzz for his line of books (and yes, I was there when copies of Harbinger #1 were going for 50 freakin' dollars a book) doesn't make him responsible for the speculator boom. Blame Time and Newsweek before you blame Shooter. They, not him, are what created the speculator boom in the first place. While I don't idolize him a bit, I'm fully aware that A LOT of the stories I've enjoyed growing up were at least in some part due to him and for that I'm grateful rather than hateful.

  • May 15, 2008, 11:40 p.m. CST


    by steverodgers

    Is a fanboy dream, as a teenager sends stories to DC, they take them and from there he writes more, becomes EIC of marvel, creates countless stories and ruffles countless more feathers - and gets to write stories of the heroes he clearly loves - whatever you say about him, you have to say - the guy was living the dream.

  • May 16, 2008, 6:13 a.m. CST


    by optimous_douche

    I know we alreuady had the debate about seperating the artist from the art, but this is another example.<p> Does the guy have an ego - sure. But the Valiant stories were damn excellent.<p> And again, Defiant, that's a whole other story.

  • May 16, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    AND...Shooter never said shit about us queers....

    by Psynapse

    Besides, the dude CREATED Princess Projectra who arguably had one of THE hottest looks for a super-chick EVER thanks to Dave Cockrum.

  • May 16, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Thunderbolts #120...

    by DuncanDisorderly

    Oh, my GOD!!! Warren Ellis triumphs here, yet again. I'm not going to post any spoilers, just buy it and read it- you won't be disappointed...

  • May 17, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST


    by blackthought

    shig...scott's reviews are always of the long variety...5000 words or more.