Cool News
Official Character Shots From The G.I. JOE Movie Overrun The Net!!
Merrick here...
A few weeks back, a ton of character images from Stephen Sommers' bigscreen plundering of G.I. JOE leaked across The Nets. They were quickly banished, but a number of character shots have now surfaced in officialer forms.
Click the character names below to jump to the sites hosting the images!
DUKE
DESTRO
THE BARONESS
STORM SHADOW
BREAKER
GENERAL HAWK
RIPCORD
HEAVY DUTY
DUKE
DESTRO
THE BARONESS
STORM SHADOW
BREAKER
GENERAL HAWK
RIPCORD
HEAVY DUTY
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+ Expand All
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They all look the same, the pictures are a bore, etc. Nothing that makes me go: "Wow, I'm excited for this movie."
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These names don't sound familiar to me
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They better be.
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I hope they make it really campy
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Does anyone care what Destro looks like underneath the mask?
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Don't know what happened there
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sweet!
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Too much black going on with these costumes. And I hope Destro gets a shiny face. Scarlett is all kinds of hot but what's with Storm Shadow's skirt? He looks like a snowtrooper.
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Looks sweet. Let the cries of rapped childhoods begin.
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This looks like a turd sandwich. Why are they all dressed in black?
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Oaf.
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http://tinyurl.com/2yg7af
That guy is one mean motherfucker. -
it's own G.I.Joe pic? I'm shocked this post wasn't used to rip on Sommers and talk about how shitty this movie will be. It will be shitty, but if AICN got some exclusives, they wouldn't bash it.
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I know, it's fucking G.I.Joe by Sommers, I should have known and written this off already, but MY GOD do most of these look retarded. They're really all dressing like Snakeyes? Really? REALLY? And Destro wouldn't be done any worse if they made him a 17 year old red-headed chick in a Hotdog on a Stick uniform.
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Its really no surprise that AICN didnt get any love.
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They had me from the Snake Eyes pictures....then I got a bad taste in my mouth seeing Dennis Quaid and others...but popped a boner for that chick who's playing Scarlet, although I hate the fact she dont wear yellow. But these pics..... that's it, my excitement level is pretty damn nil on this one. What a shame.
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...I'm hoping that these are not their "regular uniforms." The whole point of GI JOE is a group of diversly skilled mean and women in fucking rediculuos outfits.
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What next? I swear if i see Shipwreck in a black uniform I'm gonna freak!
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LOL that is horrendous looking. Staying true to the source material or not, unless he's fighting in a snowstorm there's nothing stealthy about that costume. That said, I'll probably still go see it just to laugh with friends and kill some time.
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just too much black leather. None of 'em look much like their comic book dopplegangers except Baroness. And where's Destro's chrome dome? I don't ever remember him looking normal. Plus, Destro's not supposed to be an aging, weak-looking white man.
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Here again, Marlon Wayans is cast in a giant dung-pile of a movie with now way to dig himself out. Maybe this time will be different. He'll die saving some grown-ass man instead of some goofy little white dude who calls him "snails"
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I'm usually the last person you'll see bashing a movie before its released, because I like to give things the benefit of the doubt. You really shouldn't judge a film based only on trailers or stills. But these look fucking terrible. Wow. And I can't wait to see Storm Shadow try and Ninja Dissapear around all that black. What the fuck.
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Go on, get 'im outta there, ya little wankers!
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that this wll be a cool/fun/serious film.
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That's all that matters now.
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Couldn't they have at least done army green plastic armor? Just to be different from every other action movie from the last 10 years?
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Damn enter key.
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Because Duke looks seriously gay.
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Hours spent converting backyards into epic, destructive, battles, and imagining such a film, seeing this deflates that childhood imagination. These are bad.
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Before the Attack...
Every Character Will Now Be Wearing All Black! http://tinyurl.com/5u3wz8 -
I've NEVER seen that before.
When I was a kid, my friends and I made fun of our peers that were into the G.I. Joe cartoon. We called them retards.
Oddly, the grew up and became the Bush administration. Coincidence? -
But they look exactly like a fucking GIJOE toy would look! Isn't that what they are?
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I've seen better Ben Cooper costumes.
To bad that the pic of Destro the studio decided to leak.
I dad not seen the Storm Shadow one yet...look at those pants.
Too fuckin funny.
Nice nod with the original Gi Joe scar in one of the pics though. -
I'm sure this movie will rape my childhood, but these pics are definitely fondeling my childhood until it opens.
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I hope it's as cool as this one.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cEvmJuSgDiA
If Joe and Cobra ain't shooting red and blue lasers, I ain't watching. -
as the worst movie of all time, that shit made Ed Wood look like a genius.
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The Transformers movie designs were craptacular, it's true, but at least they were IMAGINATIVELY craptacular. These are lazy craptacular. It's like they were designed by marketing people. "They have to be black! Tests show black indicates toughness to the 16-24 year old market. Also, military colors test negative during unpopular wars. The suits also need to be rubber, as the success of The Matrix, X-Men, and Batman Begins show 12% boost in opening weekend grosses for any film with rubber costumes. They should have modular snap-on parts, as "suiting up" scenes rate highly with test audiences in flyover states." Now, I don't feel like my childhood is raped or anything (I just don't care that much about G.I. Joe), but I am offended at the raw stupid hubris of Hollywood.
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Have you ever seen a G.I. Joe toy? They're selling classic Joes at Wal-Mart now. Go take a look and tell me if most of these characters resemble the toys. Go ahead. I'll wait.
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Enough with the nostalgia retreads. If there's an interesting idea that needs an update, fine. Go for it. Otherwise, just lay off the childhood cartoons. Unless you're bringing Exosquad to the big screen. Hell, that cartoon had more violence than the new PG-13 Terminator will.
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Of course Storm Shadow isn't supposed to be, but does anyone find that ironic?
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looks like Mortal Kombat.
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Damn, I will definitely pay to see her run around for 2 hours in black leather. Hopefully she can do the accent, but I keep getting a bad feeling she will open her mouth and sound as bad as Shannon Elizabeth from American Pie.
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Ever thought of that, hmmm? Or maybe he operates in the Artic and assassinates penguins and polar bears.
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I was never into GI Joe as a kid so I could give five shits about this movie but if you're going to go to the trouble of making it live action, why not put a little thought and creativity into the project. These costumes look like ass. I just don't understand why a studio can't cobble together people who are actually passionate enough for a project as to make it watchable.
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They changed everybody else. If there is any realism, why not make Storm Shadow wear black. He must be a pretty shitty ninja if he is sneaking around in white. Wouldn't that be the 1st thing they teach at the dojo?
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May 08, 2008 10:13:23 AM CDT
This doesnt look the way i remember
by lloyd bonafide the korean war veteran
from my childhood. Am i missing something? X-men 4?
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seems they gave these other movie blog sites a character each. No love for Aint It Cool? whats up with that?
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Every time I come across these photos I cringe. They just look so stupid. I'm not saying they had to carbon copy the figures/cartoon/comics - but they could have come up with a close but realistic translation of the familiar look of these characters. Hasbro wouldn't go to all this trouble releasing the anniversary (same look updated feel) figures if they weren't convinced that there was deep fan recognition of these iconic images. The movie should have tried to do the same. Way to go Stephen.
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Realism or not, I just can't look at all-black and see GI Joe. I need to see green. I think Hollywood is losing its ability to film movies in different color palettes--a trend has seeped in where everything is drained of color. (Or maybe they just used it all in Speed Racer and there's none left over.)So, for the most part these look like random extras from Aliens...no, strike that, those actors were distinctive-looking and varied more in age, build, and weren't all models. And, they could act.That'll be the test for this flick. They're failing in 2-D; can they succeed in the next two dimensions?
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No one gives a fuck about the new Stephen Sommers movie.
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as Destro. Dig Dennis Quaid as Hawk too. Baroness is hot, but Storm Shadow look worse than I did when I dressed up as him for Halloween in 84 in white long johns and some drunk guy called me underwear man...and why make Heavy Duty Heavy Duty and not Roadblock, I guess cause we'd bitch he didn't rhyme all the time...
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Sommers will have had access to the best costume designers in the world, but instead he chose to go to people who thought it would a good idea come up with... well... these.
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It's because they are afraid of us. When something looks like ass like these pics do, we speak on it.
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Is Hollywood trying to make G.I.Joe fans into Bisexuals???Why do they all look so pretty instead of gritty? HOLLYWOOD FUCKS UP AGAIN...P.S. When you make the Voltron movie, could you actually use colors so I can tell the left leg from the right leg?
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These costumes look tight as fuck. Especially Storm Shadow's.
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look like Destro? Doesn't he have a metalic head?
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They got Snake Eyes right. It gave me hope for this film. Now consider that hope GONE. These look SHITTY. Black leather looks GAY. Marlon Wayans has chicken legs. We want the cartoon look, not some update to try and make them look "cool". This is going be AWFUL. Worse than Transformers.
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I used to think the guys that went nuts and raged about the tweaks and changes to the characters were funny as hell in the talkbacks, I mean why would this guy get his nipples in a twist about flames on Optimus. I realize now why I thought that was funny. I was not a Transformers kid, sure I had them, but my favorite toys the things I had to have nearly every one of with zealous desire was GI Joe. Seeing this at an odd level physically makes me angry, at a point beyond reason or logic it just chafes my ass. Sorry Transformers guys, I kind of think I get it now.
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will do to GI Joe what Dolph Lundgren did for He Man in 1986, which is to say, they'll take a hot steamy turd on all that is Joe. He Man I didn't care about in the first place, but this is kinda sad.
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Look, SWAT guys wear black, the SAS wears black. Black is the color of choice for special ops. So, you'd all PREFER Destro with a fat rope chain and a big ass ruby medallion? You're fucking delusional.Black is used for Batman because...GASP...he's dressed in black in the comics. Black was used in the Matrix...and set a trend. The X-Men looked good in their stupid black outfits because a yellow and blue Wolverine with giant head-wings would have been fucking stupid looking. That said, Storm Shadow has fucking tails. That's hilarious. He's got his top-hat, cane, and a pocket full of throwing stars. Duke looks gay, though, and Destro without a mask is kind of shitty...but how the hell would you put THOSE ears in a mask..damn!
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You'd better fucking get your special crow-eating plates, because like Transformers, this is gonna do big bank with dumbfuck parents bringing their kids who will think that this is GI JOE. I predict 100 mil easy for this shitburger.
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Gay I. Joe. Where in THE FUCK is Destro's shiny head???? How could they screw that up? And did anyone read the synopsis to Breaker's character:
"...he enjoys chewing bubblegum even in intense situations"
These motherfuckers looked at the original packaging for the toys and came up with that bullshit. I grew up with GI Joe and Transformers and while I actually liked the Transformers updates this GI Joe crap is the lamest fucking thing I've ever seen.
I hope Steven Somers gets run over with a Havoc. Fuck you, dude. -
Word is, he doesn't get the mask until later in the movie. There are spoiler script reviews floating around the net if you're interested.
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Could Destro atleast be Bald? buff? Every character is WAY TOO CLEAN looking. What is this the Street Fighter movie all over again?
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http://tinyurl.com/6g8k3b Actually, it should be pretty easy. She's naked.
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and a ninja in tuxedo tails, and "Destro" with no Destro outfit. Poor Doctor Who, he looks fine for a movie villian, but everyone has expectations as to what the character is and should look like, and Sommers is just way too stupid to figure it out.
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I always saw Joe as more of a Delta Force style team. The real Delta actually usually wears the standard army uniform, but with tweaks and customizations. They are allowed to go nonstandard, with bike helmets, personalized armor, and kit. That really would've worked great for GI Joe. I don't think the idea of these speed and strength increasing suits fits with the GI joe story, these guys are elite on their own, let them just be bad asses without making them uber men.
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No reason to change a whole lot. What the fuck?
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You know who would have been a perfect choice for director for a GI Joe movie: Joel freakin' Schumacher.
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...it's basically Cobra's origin story.
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Why no mask? This is absolutely stupid. Why on Earth would a studio think that changing the costumes from the cartoon/toys that EVERYBODY loved, would make us want to see the movie? Are they really that dumb? It's almost as if they don't care if they ruin perfectly good opportunities to tell fun stories and make a lot of money doing it.
....and they complain about movies getting torn apart by internet people like us...... -
-snicker- And will he be wearing all black?
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I can't wait to see how he's going to butcher that.
Has this guys worked on a single original intelectual property in his career? -
were probably supposed to be saved for last to offset most of these costuming atrocities. This would explain why AICN is penalized: They gave us dessert before dinner. Now I get to look forward to liver and onions.
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So the fans will hate it, and the non-fans will ignore it because of its mediocrity.
Way to go Hollywood.
You watched Iron Man come and please everyone and learned nothing. -
later on in the movie, or else don't fucking bother having him in the movie. He never had a normal head with hair in the comics or cartoon, why have it that way for the movie? So fucking stupid. And I don't recall Storm Shadow dressing in Prada. But whatever.
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These are far worse than the X-Men costumes. At least the X-Men had different powers to differentiate them from the others in the group. Now each of the Joes will look just like Snake Eyes, shooting the same black Uzi laser rifle in the same basic black ensemble.
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"So, you'd all PREFER Destro with a fat rope chain and a big ass ruby medallion?"
Would have been better than these. -
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I didn't knew that! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Everyone wears black, shoot'em all!
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This is going to suck so hard. look for it straight to DVD.
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Bring back Raul's zombie Bison corpse to head Cobra.
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...of $hit will be rated PG-13?HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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The costume designer DID work on Starship Troopers. I guess she had a few extra Johnny Rico getups stashed out in the garage.
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May 08, 2008 11:08:37 AM CDT
G.I. KOMBAT -FANBASE ANNIHALATION....FOR FUCK'S SAKE DO THESE PE
by riddleman1674
Jesus why didn't they just cast Christopher fucking Lambert as Destro while they're busy shitting all over this property!! I mean because he looked sooooo much like Rayden right? Fuck and since we're making all the Joes wear ultra cool "something new and groundbreaking"...*gasp* BLACK FUCKING RUBBER SUITS (because that's never been done before right?).....throw one on Cobra Commnder too! Why the fuck not?? Then we wont be able to tell who's fighting who! My 3 year old nephew could come up with a more creative costume design! If this schlock actually makes money (which sadly it fucking will, due to the thousands of fucking zombie suburban families out there who could give a fuck about the characters or good story telling for that matter) I'm sure later down the line we'll get to see Serpentor as an actual snake, because a man dressed in a snake suit just "wouldn't translate on camera"....well neither does all this shit, you oblivious "got yer dollar goggles on" corporate fuckheads!!! WAKE THE FUCK UP. *whew* I need a drink....
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because snakes are green not blue. This is worse than the Transformers and they were horrible!
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Awesome!
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I haven't been this disapointed since I found out that Soundwave wasn't going to be in last years Transformers movie.
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Why does Stormshadow look like he dresses from Tux and Tails? Is he some kind of Ninja butler? I don't get it?
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Good one there French haha, yeah does sound like I'm a candidate for the sequel to the 40 Year old Virgin. lol Just so tired of these movies being pumped out on the shit assembly line. Just amazes me that these people cant see clearly in fornt of them and use a little more creativity with all the millions of dollars they have to waste. Key word waste, haha
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the outfits from the cartoon were pretty normal looking army guy type clothing.
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I told him to fuck himself.
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it's played by Eccleston and even without the mask (which would probably look dumb) he looks awesome.
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They could've used the original costumes and maintained the colours and style while still making them practical and contemporary, heck they weren't that crazy to begin with in the first place.... Hell just look at what Watchmen is doing! See? All this is a result of your complaining about Speed Racer "OHHH NOES TOO COLOURFUL! MINE EYES!!!", well I hope your'e fucking happy because I'm officially declaring it your fault!
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Is he wearing a white tuxedo jacket? LOL!!!!! Dude, this is going to suck balls. I have no interest in this crap at all. My 2 favorite childhood toy memories are transformers and GI Joe. Transformers was a piece of shit movie. Will this suck too? Oh yes it will.
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when he played Bowser in the Super Mario Bros. abomination. Wasn't Bowser supposed to be some kind of mutant snapping turtle? In that movie he was a damn humanoid man. Although Destro isn't a mutant, he doesn't look anything like the actor portraying him. How disappointing. I hope at least Cobra Commander has a helmet. I prefer the helmet over the hood.
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Sommers. Yeah. I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?.
God, I love that. (sigh) the last time Chevy Chase was funny. -
Howz it going?
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May 08, 2008 11:30:58 AM CDT
Um, you can't plunder something that was fucking terrible in the
by pdorwick
Seriously, have you seen these cartoons recently? It's fascism for beginners.
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...is what I meant to say
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Haha well I'm all American and don't you also find it funny what kind of a moron we have running our country. Embarassing really. So all we deprived Americans have to take our mind off of shit we can do nothing about is a little entertainment, but what happens when you have morons running the white house AND morons running Hollywood. Alot of frustration haha. Just a little insight from the West bud. BTW how's the weather on the other side of the world?
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fight over tubeworms while gathering the DNA needed to create Serpentor? Do they shoot red and blue lasers that go, "Bee-yew! Bee-yew!"
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Throwing some digicam or multicam on someone, please.
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Read the article surrounding the picture of Duke which aggresively praises the actor and design. The writer descibes "his" childhood love of GI Joe, and is amazed by how these picture bring to life everything "he" imagined. I'm sure "he" immediately recognized Duke when "he" first saw the picture without anyone telling "him". "He" then proceeds to describe the actor as a heart-throb. My heart is not throbbing. Exactly who is this writer speaking to? The millions of female GI Joe fans? Is Hollywood seriously run by such powerful incompetence? Anyway read that article around Duke for a good laugh, or whatever you call it. Actually I feel like Butters when Mrs. Garrison was looking for her penis, my brains are hurting.
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We need to stand behind the Griswold speech! Laughing my ass off over here. Fucking Sommers! Where's our Christmas bonus??!! I want to put in a pool so we can sink this film shit stock in buried chest along with Sommers and the rest of this production ala Jumanji style LOL let it tenderize for decade like Batman and someone with half a brain will come along, whipe off the nipples and flames and make the right movie! Dare to dream huh? haha
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... And of course all the masked characters will find some reason to take off their masks and/or lose their masks during the final big battle scenes at the end of the movie, just like Spider-Man in 1, 2 and 3 (where he wore the damn mask for about 5 minutes) and Iron Man and Iron-Monger (which, for armored characters was REALLY stupid!)
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Awful. Just awful. This movie needs a reset button. How can you fuck up the Baroness? I mean you put a hot, dark haired, sultry looking girl in black leather with glasses and you got it. Slap a red Cobra logo on her tits and you are set. I've seen a better Baroness at the cons. Good way to tank a career.
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is half the battle..
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GIJINO. Destro with no mask is the worst choice of all, but they all suck. Baroness just looks like some white chick wearing glasses -- She doesn't have that "Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS" look about her at all. Marlon Wayons is laughable. Poor Quaid--- Probably going to be chewing the scenery.
This looks like Street Fighter The Movie, or He-Man and the Masters of the Universe movie. It's got the reek of being nothing but a marketing tie-in. This is fodder for the side of Slurpy cups. -
No shit, brother, you said it. As Sgt. Slaughter might say.
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destro should have the metallic head all the time..i dont remember in the cartoon him having a metallic mask to take off.. all the character's looks are wrong except baroness and snake eyes if you ask me. whats with all the radical changes and doesnt color exist in this universe?..Its more realistic if theyre all black...riiiight.
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...Matthew Perry at the Apollo. C'mon folks, you knew it was coming. HI-YOOOOOOOOO!!
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I won't be seeing this. Not at the cinema, anyway. Yep, based on those photos alone.
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The Joes are _fucked_ now.
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The Little Miss Jamie Fox Stealth of 2008
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Jonah Hill as Gung Ho.
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I'm diggin on Baroness though. Grrrrr.
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May 08, 2008 11:59:23 AM CDT
Wait, wait - I Got more - Storm Shadow in Sommers' GI Joe Movie
by dr.sonus
John Coffy eating a bowl of rice with Matthew Perry's chopsticks.
I'll be here on Thursday,folks, but not Wednesday. -
Wesley Snipes with a Q-tip.
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I'd rather be "pussified" and socially conscious than to be a knuckle-dragging misogynist that doesn't know how to spell "pussification."
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The first Snowflake on Oakland.
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1 Meet the Joes
2 Scarlett Blows Breaker
3 Rise of Cobra Commander
4 Scarlett's Theme (Shower Scene)
5 Heavy Duty's Noble End
6 Scraping Ripcord from the Tarmac
7 Enter Duke--Into the Ladies Locker Room
8 Cover Girl Converts Scarlett
9 Snake-Eyes Theme (3:39 of silence)
10 Storm Shadow's Electric Boogaloo
11 Family Secret Revealed: Brother Ninjas
12 And She's My Sister
13 Hawk's Noble End
14 Cobra Commander Falls in the Acid Bath
15 Lesbian Kisses
16 Seeing Venom In Destro's Eyes
17 Emergency Call to Zartan
18 Breaker's Ultimate Sacrifice
19 Bee-yew Bee-yew Bee-yew!
20 GI Joe Battle Rap
21 Duke Bites It / Funeral for a Joe
22 Flint Arrives and Gets Pissed
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...a lot like Deep Rising. I'd be down for that kind of breezy comedy in a G.I. Joe film, actually.
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Chew ur tobacco and eat yer gumbo Bruno and when ur done, learn what a sense of humor is there guy haha. Never said I was embarrased to be an American, I'm embarrased of who represents us. If you can't read between the lines, I needn't bother wasting time explaining ;)
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I grew up in the 80's man. I'm telling you, these costumes look like toys. They look like toys. They look like G.I.Joe toys!
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Highlights of this thread
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and this is my first time writing. I can not believe that they are going to ruin this movie. This looks worse than if Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter had a celluloid kid. If I see Shipwreck in a black plastic hat i'm definitely not going to see it. I will personally drive from Nevada to Iowa to go dig up all of my buried GI Joes in the backyard of the house I was raised in and incinerate the little plastic heroes and go to therapy to forget that any of it was a real memory! What in the heck are they thinking? I can understand not having Wolverine in the yellow spandex, but this is really a bad idea. Might as well cast Dr. Phil as Dr. Mindbender and give him one of those black plastic suits. Might as well rename the movie M.A.S.H and let the old fogies get pissed off too.
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The British woodworking baddie from Gone in 60 Seconds? Put a mask on that guy, would ya?!
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Mr. Stay Puft in a Blackhole.
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My wife dressed up as a ninja for Halloween back in college just using stuff around the house, and she looked a little more realistic than that.
Why the incessant coverage of this obvious turd-bomb? It looks like this will be right at home in the same category as the Street Fighter, Masters of the Universe, and TMNT movies. -
joking....sorta
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Stuart Little at an Akon Concert
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Flava Flav and Stuart Little went to the Akon Concert. See what I did there? Good Night, everybody!
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Haha yeah I agree. Definately understandable. Animosity should be towards the assholes we're bitching about it talk balks but it is amusing to see who get worked up over what. Can't say I always keep my cool over shit like this GI Joe garbage, but after a good venting, it always helps to laugh it off because that's what Hollywood has become, laughable. Hell even the parody films are being raped nowadays. ala Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie. Fuck when are we gonna see Movie Movie LOL
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I've seen him somewhere before....
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You have to go WAY back, to like issue 1 of the comic (which I had) to find Breaker and Ripcord. As the series when on, those guys faded into the background and became more homogenized as "cooler" Joes were introduced.
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Sounds like yer in a virtual heatwave meltdown over there! My sympathies haha
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May 08, 2008 12:33:21 PM CDT
Wait, Wait - I'm getting word...Yes, we have time for one more:
by dr.sonus
Charlie Murphy took Mary Kate Olsen to a Black Panther Party on the Dark Side of the Moon. Darkness everyone, Darkness is Spreading!!
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All good man. Good lookin out but actually what I was getting at was that even if someone wants to try an insult you (which in my opinion was a joke from French really) have fun with it ya know? Haha I did let loose in my first post, but I usually always do then go along with the laughs. As Nicholson once said in some movie far afar away. If ya gotta go, go with a smile, heheh.....
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From The Tick.
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Bad the only decent 80's cartoon to movie we may ever get is TMNT. Next you'll be telling me that they fire bullets instead of lasers.
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I remember in 3rd grade we saved up enough UPC's or whatever to get the Sgt. Slaughter figure. My brother and i were so excited to get it, that we made up some dumb song that we sang while we ran home from school everyday to watch the cartoon and check the mail. I swear it took 6 months for the Sarge to get to my mailbox. By that time all we wanted to do was blow him up. I think Sgt Slaughter died as soon as he got out of the box. Anyway, yeah theres been some horrific movies made over the years and some good ones too. But this one just looks like it has little to do with the origins ! I hope Hasbro reads these and either stops the movie or make it better. I would just prefer to see a new episode of the cartoon if anything.
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NOT!!!!! This movie is going to be horrible at best.
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Holy fuck. Just how old are you?
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Sorry man, Punchline without the Opening:
"Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like... Ashton Kutcher at Bernie Mac's House" - Ad Infinitum!
- wait, I think that was already a movie -
These costumes have steered me away. I mean seriously, WTF? The thing I loved about G.I.Joe was the diverse cast of characters that brought a different quality/skill to the table. With these STUPID fucking costumes, you can't even tell them apart...
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I'm actually morbidly curious to see how else they're going to fuck up this movie. BTW aren't BREAKER, RIPCORD, and HEAVY DUTY basically the same character anyway?
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I had a couple of the original Joes as a kid. One of them got taken "prisoner" one day during my playtime and I tied him to a lamp. After about an hour, the bulb had burned a bald spout in the dude's head. Which was funny because they had "real" hair.
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Thanks for clearing that up. For a minute I thought you may have been the world's oldest talkbacker. :)
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of Scarlett undressing and taking a shower?
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So I get that you can't make a movie version of a character exactly the same as the cartoon/comic/action figure... Batman, XMen, Tranformers etc all took their liberties for the celluliod version... But other than the Snake Eyes pics that showed up a month or so ago, these look TERRIBLE. Yes GI JOE is supposed to be high tech, but this looks NOTHING like the little plastic characters I played with as a kid - Not even is spirit. Why not do a serious version of the campy 80's toon? And, assuming they are going to eventually put Destro in his metal helmet, why have they revealed his face publicly so soon? And for that matter General Hawk looks too much like Flint. THIS LOOKS BAD... like sloppy shit in your shorts bad.
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No shit. That was the whole idea of GI Joe. They were all totally different. Christ.
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"How can you fuck up the Baroness?...Slap a red Cobra logo on her tits and you are set."
Said actress would have to have tits for that. -
Does anyone remember the one where Sailor hallucinates for an entire episode and all the other Joes melt into disgusting grey shit? It's the most disturbing thing I've ever seen.
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Why are these people wearing leather fetish-wear as if that Mystery Men parody X-Men was the be all end all of wearing costumes movies?At least the characters in Small Soldiers looked like toy soldiers.
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Destro used to be a big muscle bound guy with a silver mask that never came off. Now we have a skinny twerp in a faggy little suit. Really, WTF are they thinking? It's beyond fucking comical.
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Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe movie is like the last mothball in a Dementor's closet.
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...magazine when I was a kid and 6-8 months later when it finnaly arrived I wasn't even into toys let alone GIJOE anymore. I think I also had a girl over at the time which was embarassing.
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(Because if I did, I'd be blind with rage).
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Holy shit, I remember that. Remember when that Cobra blob/virus got loose and they used apples to kill it?
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that every major movie website got a photo except for AICN. I'm embarrassed for them right now.
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...but I think they are going to blow it. I hope this ain't going to be some depressing Daredevil crap. Here's how you do it: Come up with a crazy fantasy McGuffin like The Ark of the Covenent. Cobra is trying to get it. The Joe guys try to stop it. There should also be a lot of exotic locations, even when it's not important to the plot. I expect to see more locations than the BBC's Planet Earth series. And there should be an absolute minimum of CGI.
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finds this to be a shitty mess. A stinkier bowl of watery fecal matter has yet to be made. What piece of shit gave this movie to this piece of shit?
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If you just put a different title and concept under these pics they wouldn't even be "copying" the GIJOE characters (does that even make sense?!). Imagine if it was a movie called "IRON NATION: Special Ops" and not GIJOE. Then we'd be saying "What the fuck is IRON NATION: Special Ops???" as opposed to "too much black". And no one would be saying "Awe shit...these pics are a GIJOE rip off!".
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I honestly thought that they would change the all black costumes after the first backlash. The fact that they didn't just proves how laughable this whole production is.
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May 08, 2008 1:18:31 PM CDT
Ahh What the hell,...Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is lik
by dr.sonus
Ike Turner and the Cloverfield Monster fighting over a Tic-Tac, during a Lunar Eclipse, if the Cloverfield Monster was as black as Idi Amin.
I know, now I'm just phoning it in. -
Before the Attack... Every Character Will Now Be Wearing All Black! http://tinyurl.com/5u3wz8 It's a fucking punchline.
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I'm ok with that.
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What's scary is I remember Snake Eyes' break dance. It was so bad, like it was right out of Spiderman 3 or something.
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Is like a job application printed on a white sheet of paper at the million man march at midnight. Am I getting it?
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storm shadow looks like fantomex from new x men. all in all it looks generic
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I'm eerily fine with it myself. Maybe I'm just getting numb.
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and destros fucking metal face! sommers blows he fucking blows. just like van helsing- he turns something easy into a pile of shit
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...will Captain American be stoned all the time, own a shitty bar and never wear a shirt!?!?! Mathew McConauhey is not an actor...he plays himself...EVERY movie he's ever done has been the same take. "Uhh, hey there uh Hawkeye, that's a hell ah arrah ya got there. CHARLIE WADE!!!"
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What is this episode you guys are talking about?
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On the other hand, he is like the all American guy. Man, you just described the American dream.
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was this made right after the whole matrix phenomenon? why the black suits?
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here's a list of reasons why AICN didn't get pics:
"chocolate covered pussy juice"
"bugnuts"
"I just got off the phone with Jesus..."
The complete oral fixation over Hostel / Hostel 2
Oh and the BIGGEST REASON: Everyone knows AICN is a for-sale marketing tool. Why would they PAY this site to post publicity photos when half a dozen other sites will do it for free? -
A Codra Virus escaped from a lab and start absorbing everything it touched. The Joe's send Airtight(I think) in there and he actually finds some other Cobra dudes hanging inside this bit blob. Anyway, Apple seeds have a minute amount of poisen in them(something I learned from this episode)so the Joe's adapt theire weapons and vehicles to fire an orchard full of apples at the thing which is about to destroy a whole city. I just remember Shipwreck(my favorite) throwing apples at the thing while it bears down on him saying "This one will be the one.....no this one!"
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Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like Whoopi Goldberg went looking for a tampon in an oil well. Yikes!
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McConauhey for Hawkeye, sure. Or even AntMan, if you have to have him.and yeah, these costumes look like Starship Troopers outfits.
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It's pretty sad that they fucked this outfit up. If you've ever seen pictures from a con, you'll know that the outfit translates JUST FINE to real life. (It's probably one of the few that does) There was no reason to change it, particularly when their new version is so very inferior.
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Snake Eyes breakdancing sometime. I don't know if it was from that episode or not.
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that shit is funny.
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Please dude, I just ate! ;)
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you guys missed one important character photo. http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.com/pictures/s/sgtslaughter/26.jpg
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"I am the 'viper, I am hear to vipe your windows."
Ha -
Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe movie is like a supervisor at a Wal-Mart. Yeah, I went there.
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...Where Shipwreck would go through that car wash and have his memory erased and was put in a fake town with imitations of his real family.
Fuck. That show was ahead of its time. -
is like when i worked at a Chile's in the hood and was nicknamed Sunshine my first day on the job.
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You must be from the South.
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Gary Coleman whipped out a kleenex while watching the "What's Happening" Reunion in Gary, Indiana.
And then the power went out.
Ahh, I see the torch has been passed. Run with it - There's Gold to be mined! -
It started off so well but after these other pics...we have Transformers all over again.It will appeal to the masses and make mad box office numbers but they've butchered the "canon" to pieces!
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I really hope these shots are from the characters pre-GI Joe, because the uniforms were what made them cool. In these shots, everyone looks like Snake Eyes!
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A white headed zit in the crack of Oprah's ass.
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I'm pretty sure I have a Sgt. Slaughter and Guile "G.I. Joe" action figure so I demand to see them included in this film. These ARMY veterans should not be forgotten.
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It says he dons the mask for combat. So don't start bitching!
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Good to see those Joes take their fucking ironing seriously. It's no good going into battle with creases and dirt spoiling your tacky camo and gold plated plastic belt buckles. What would their mothers say? This looks shockingly bad. Street-Fighter bad. Never-work-in-this-town-again bad.
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Did you hear the rumor about the Rock playing Shipwreck?
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Hillary Duff was wrapped in Electrical Tape, Dipped in Chocolate, and fed to a Tribe of Ravenous Pygmies at the South Pole during the Six Months of Darkness.
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a crack rock at Whitney Houston's family reunion.
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Storm Shadow in Sommers' GiJoe Movie is like Mini-Me in the Gimp Costume, kicked unconscious, and stuffed into Marilyn Manson's sock drawer. Peace!
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I only saw the movie once, but the one thing that MOTU got right was that it dirtied things up. From the costumes to the world of Eternia, there was just enough grime and dirt to make the world seem "lived in." Too bad they farled up everything else, from the characters to the storyline.So far, all the shots of the Joes look like they're suited up for a friendly game of Laser Tag at the mall.
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yet again, you have made my day.
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i do remember that episode. good stuff.
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... as soon as the news of Marlon Wayans being in it was announced. Well, at least he'll have something higher up on his resume than DUNGEONS & DRAGONS. Even the shot of Storm Shadow with his ninja headdress on looks horrible.
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all these designs have been taking away or muting what differentiated each character from the next as well as losing their trademarks (i.e. Destro sans mask, Baroness with some kind of XXXtreme sports shades, etc.) Next thing you are going to tell me is that Snake Eyes can talk, Cobra Commander's going to show his face throughout the entire movie and Ripcord's in charge of the team.
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seriously why does hollywood have to ruin our childhoods their not even the real american hero anymore and they look like the xmen wtf
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these are promotional photos so of course they will look all spiffy and pretty or whatever. so if this is a huge hit, no doubt sequels will come but you think they'd ever attempt a crossover with transformers? because i may be wrong here but i remember reading that josh duhamel's character was from one of the crossover comics.
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Storm Shadow in Sommers'GiJoe Movie is like Al Roker and Star Jones sharing a cigarette in Gotham City. Boo YAH!
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we'll see a ThunderCats movie before a Transformers VS G.I. Joe.
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Comcastic is my word for double craptacular.
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May 08, 2008 2:52:37 PM CDT
If you are a fan of GI Joe, then you MUST hate those pics
by industrykiller!
Because you absolutely cannot reconcile the look of this film to the property itself. The Joe team looks absolutely horrendous with every one of them wearing that stupid Batmanesque body armor. What was cool about the show is how this team had such a sense of individuality. They all brought their own look and feel to the proceedings. And Destro not having a mask until the end of the film or only sporadically is something so nonsensical and less cool than the original that only Hollywood would try it. The Baroness looks good unfortunately shes Cobra COmmanders sister int his being controlled with nanobytes and used to be romantically linked with Duke, all of which is total horseshit not to mention cliched and tired even if it wasn't betraying the source material. And General Hawk in a black motorcycle leather jacket? ugh. Fuck this movie. Steven Summers will butcher this Michael bay style.
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and the uniforms aren't conveying much personality. Doesn't feel like JOE to me.
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WHERE ARE THE BEARDS? Haven't you heard? They've been working on a new movie called Indiana Jones 4.
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Íf Destro doesn't get his chrome dome I won't watch this shit.
Butterface Sienna however, looks pretty awesome as the Baroness, although I still think Bellucci should have gotten that role.
And where the hell is Chuckles ???? -
That you wonder why even do CG just get actors.
G.I. Joe is the last thing you would think would need to be fully CG.
What ever though. -
There is just such a site...
http://www.libertyfilmfestival.com/libertas/
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Just put him on stilts & give him the eye patch. That's probably as good a cast as these black suits on everybody. GAY!!!!!!!!!
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This is going to bomb like no bomb that has bombed before. Btw, I thought Destro had a metal mask? File this one under D.O.A.
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Oh whoops, we're trying to get shitty actors,not real ones...Your Good, My Bad!
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Wahhh...WWHHHAAaahh... There are few things more pathetic than grown men whining about a movie of a crappy kids cartoon. It's a KIDS CARTOON. A KIDS MOVIE. TOYS... KIDS TOYS. If you happen to like it, great, if not don't worry about it. Go watch some porn like a grown up.
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Not sure who could play him. Maybe Corporal Kirschner.
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As a child of the 80's, this makes me cry. These characters look like my taint.
Baroness is hot, tho. Where has creativity/originality gone in hollywood? why is the default a simple black costume? Incredible. -
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
on that movie -
That'd be pretty fucked up and scary. I'm going to write my Congressman and try to make Screaming Baby Sirens(TM) mandatory in my State.
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The guys making this movie are waisting their time. I hope they're getting paid well.
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At least they got Destro and Baroness right.
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please stop costuming people in lame spandex/neoprene/wetsuit material.
it has never been cool.
superheros should wear normal fabrics.
at least they should wear straight up spandex with out all the "technical looking" panels. lame. -
Looks like humans pretending to be toys. I knew this upcoming movie was going to be bad as soon as I found out it was in a modern setting... none of the rich history of the original "story". Blah!
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in their recreations than the garbage in this movie.
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though the filmmakers have an entire year to make corrections? Like every other boy in the early 80's, I loved G.I. Joe, but I don't know if any amount of cool 'splosions is going to make up for the monumental disaster of casting and costumes, costumes which are essential to the overall look of a movie about people in outfits, that should be unique and interesting. I mean, I know the word "uniform" means "one type", but still, the coolness of the G.I. Joe team was that each member brought a different personality and different skills to the table. This movie looks like an ass milkshake.
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looks great so far....glad they fixed the baroness's glasses....the first shots they had were her with sunglasses, which sucked.
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Sadly, Miller isn't fulfilling it for me.... /cry
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Starting the new slogan
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SCOOED!
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AGES AGO. Then everything else went down hill.
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"Storm Shadow look worse than I did when I dressed up as him for Halloween in 84 in white long johns and some drunk guy called me underwear man..."
"are Miss Jay & Tyra Banks doing costume design?"
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This movie has officially dropped to the level where you would have to PAY ME to see it. $35 per hour, minimum. Everyone is wearing prototype Bat suits from the neckdown, stolen from the WB vault for Batman & Robin.
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It just occurred to me that no self-respecting gay person would wear these "combat outfits". The movie is NOT GAY. This movie is completely RETARDED. You put a white safety helmet on each of those Joes, and I could totally picture this movie being about "Special" forces. As a matter of fact, I'd go see it if every one of these characters had a white safety helmet and had special needs. P.S. Where are these soldier's helmets? Since they've got super suits, they don't need a helmet? And as for Duke...c'mon, he's 15 yrs too young and looks like a forgotten extra from Dawson's Creek.
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Looks like utter shit. Feces. Poo poo. Crapola. Steaming turd. Caca. Scheizer. Diarrhea.
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of characters. no care for following the cartoon.
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Dear movie studio, please reboot this franchise BEFORE you release this film, rather than after. I know tradition dictates you release a movie before rebooting, but in this case I think movie fans will actually thank you.
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Wow. I didn't think any more could crap out character designs worse than Transformers but someone succeeded. Like someone said: the Transformer designs were 'bleh' but at least someone worked their ass off making them look unique. It took these chimps 30 seconds and a sharpie to make these lame ass designs. Christ, the costumes in Corman's Fantastic Four movie looked better. At least fucking Doom had the right get up on.
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Until the end. I guess people just assume he will cause that would make more sense. These are horrible publicity shots. Not as bad as the other ones though. Some guys do look all right but it still doesn't matter cause the script sucks ass and everybody is related to each other in it.
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the stupidest looking.
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Looks like this movie will be garbage. Makes me sad.
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No roadblock no way! We need our favorite rapping heavy machine gun expert. There's no doubt! I'll turn your eyeballs inside out!
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multiple costumes and they all suck. They must have gotten the Batman Begins designer to do this.
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cause he will probably be the worse and most unrecognizable.
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You know it's only a matter of time...
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Are you serious? You my friend just lost the internet.
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Really... without the original costumes you can't tell who the fuck these characters are supposed to be. They should just stop making this film and start over from scratch.
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Stephen Sommers, I don't need to see clear to fracture yo' rear!
I'm so disappointed, I can barely see straight. Though after transformers, this is exactly what I should expect... Besides the monotonous black nipple-less suits, General Hawk and Stormshadow look like they escaped from a poorly budgeted episode of the Power Rangers. Whiskey Foxtrot Tango, over.... -
After seeing what happened to Transformers, I won't be going to see G.I. Joe unless I hear or see something good coming out of this project. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
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http://tinyurl.com/3fffg8
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They made Duke a metrosexual, Destro looks cool, but I want a masked picture as well. I didn't think Sienna could pull off The Baroness but daaaamn. I've seen better Storm Shadow pictures from fans in conventions. It looks like the Borg got to Breaker, and took away his bubble gum. (Not the Roddy Piper kind, he always had it in the comic). I saw better pictures of Hawk earlier. Quaid had a brown bomber style jacket. It looked more realistic. Ripcord could go either way. (no, get your minds out of the gutter). I always thought the character was useless in the comics. Everyone needs to know how to be dropped in from a plane. And finally Heavy Duty..... Mr. Ecko releases his inner Jesse Ventura a la Predator, and will own you.
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This has a faint whiff of...SHIT
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Snake Eyes, Scarlett, and Baroness...pretty cool. Some of the others, take it or leave it. Wasn't feeling the whole beret-vibe with General Hawk. Not even sure if a younger actor with the beret posing as Flint would have been any better. I'll still see the movie. If it sucks, so be it. It's just a movie. And, I've still got my Marvel and Devil's Due comics.
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At least Ray Park will deliver the goods in his non-speaking role. Quaid(if not in attire) should put in a decent performance. And, Chris "Doctor Who" Eccleston should be great, unless the script is shit.
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No doubt the Storm Shadow-underwear guy quote was funny. ANd, the G.I. Joe Soundtrack listing. Too funny. And, I had totally forgotten about the Snake Eyes break-dancing moment. Thanks*not so much* for the memory. hehe The cartoon was largely bad, except for a few moments. At least most of the Marvel "Larry Hamma" comic issues were good.
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Olivia Munn, highly mouth fuckable, but her body is only okay. Baroness was fuckin' smokin' and had huge cans. Oliva sadly has none. Belucci is an awesome call, though. I find it hard to believe that this will be able to pull off anything greater than Barry Bostwick's Megaforce. I love that movie the month they played it on HBO in 1981. I was also 8. Plus, what is with Hawk stealing most of Snake Plissken's outfit from EFNY? Why the hell did Quaid turn down Commissioner Gordon to play General Hawk in a GI Joe movie? I complain, but he is the only passable character with regards to look and costume design. Snake Eyes looks well-designed after the character, but out of a cartoon, just seems like he is a Power Ranger. You wonder how the new Knight Rider show got green lit and then you realize crap like this is getting millions more in cash to be developed for the big screen. I may have to trash my GI Joe t-shirt. I already had to throw out my autobot t-shirt after last years toilet filler. I have now gone and made myself even sadder.
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"unless the script is shit."???tylermo, you seriously have any hope for the script?
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May 09, 2008 7:38:27 PM CDT
WTF?!?!?! Did Bay get his grubby hands on G.I.JOE? No, its Bay
by violator90
Pondscum you're fucking right! This looks like the cast of a porn film rather than a G.I. JOE movie! Why muse every comic book hero wear fucking black leather?!?! What is so fucking "evil" about having characters with outfits that actually look like the source material?!?! These is nothing more than another Bay-erized movie! FUCK I HATE HOLLYWOOD! Stop making shitty movies! STOP! Really. Just by these pix alone EVERYONE can tell this movie is going to sucking elephant balls! What ever shred of hope I had after seeing the Snake Eyes pic have been squashed like Britnay Speares sanity. FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD!
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I know its been said but I still want to say it!
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Shipwreck's delusion episode where his family melts to the ground and he goes insane was the best G.I. Joe ever!!
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was the comic book
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Come talkbackers! We got Jonah Hill of TINO2, we can change these shitty looking Joes. This is utter bullshit. Unless ever fucking Joes is going into an all out night attack on Cobra, there is no fucking excuse to have ALL the Joes wearing black. . .plastic? I Want To See The Real GI JOES! FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD! Enough sucktacular movies! I want good, respecting the source material, and fun movies!
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