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ShogunMaster Says CRYSTAL SKULL Is 'the Indiana movie that you were dreading'!!

Merrick here...
Well, I've suspected this for a while now. Lucas' public statements about downplaying expectations for the film didn't exactly smack of confidence or enthusiasm. Numerous reports of tepid-to-zero reaction from audiences who saw CRYSTAL SKULL's latest trailer in front of IRON MAN suggested the movie wasn't energizing folks the way it should (my 14 year old son...who loved the previous entries in the series to varying degrees...looked at me and said 'That looks slow' when we saw the new INDY 4 trailer on the big screen). And, multiple reports from sources on the shoot smelled...uneasy. They were always about what was happening, rather than how cool the movie looked, or how exciting it seemed to have Indy back in action. Still...I kept my mind open & held out some level of hope that, somehow, all would shake out nicely by the time we saw the actual, finished product in theaters. Previews don't tell everything, after all. At least, most of the time they don't. Which brings us to ShogunMaster's review. There was definitely a screening of CRYSTAL SKULL within the last day or two...we know this for certain, and presumably this is how ShogunMaster saw it. I'm told by other AICN staff members (don't know if he wants his name formally associated with this info) that other people have contacted him from the same screening & that their feedback has been "uniformly rough". It's safe to assume more reviews will arrive in the coming days. With this in mind, here's ShogunMaster with our first review of INDY 4. Please note:

SPOILERS BELOW!!!


Well, I haven't seen a review of this yet and having seen the movie this morning, I feel I'm as qualified as anyone to post a quick reaction to it. In short, this is the Indiana Movie that you were dreading. I remember seeing the two trailers and though I was excited to see the old man in action again, I was kind of worried that they seemed to be missing 'something'. That something was tension. During the whole of the movie, there was not a single moment that I thought our hero Mr. Jones (actually Colonel Jones as he was a hero in WWII now) was in any sort of peril or even significant inconvenience. In most cases, you were so many steps ahead of the characters that it was really just an arduous wait for them to get through it.
HERE WE GO WITH SOME SPOILERS!
Well, sadly the hopes of seeing Abner Ravenwood were unfounded. Though we do get to see the big Ark weilding warehouse again (it's Area 51 just incase you were unsure), the Ark is not the main object that they are there for (they do show it ofcourse; ya gots ta). LeBeef is ofcourse Indy's son. And other than quick references to Indy's Dad and Marcus (both dead) there isn't much to link with the the old stuff. The storyline is basically about an alien corpse from some crash in some town call Roswell, that has magnetic properties that may or may not be the ultimate weapon in the future. The Nazi's are replaced by the Soviets who are obviously bad and want said weapon to do bad things with. The alien corpse prize is replaced with the crystal skull from the corpse (the actual skeleton of aliens is crystaline, and the Crystal Skull is literally an alien's remains) and chases and such ensue as they try to figure out how to 'Return' the skull to the Lost City of Gold and let it's supernatural abilities run rampant. I found it funny that they mentioned the Lost City of Gold as it accidentally referenced the old Allen Quartermaine days (a crappy knockoff of Indy Movies incase you missed them) and this was very much similar in most respects. The big problem with the movie is that the traps or perilous moments are completely ass-inine and ridiculous. From a quicksand trap that Indy has time to yack on about, to being saved from said trap by LeBeef using a snake as a rope. BTW, this snake is as crappy as a Mad TV prop when they don't CG it up, and that is another failing of this movie. The fake stuff doesn't mix with the real stuff at all. In the opening scenes where they are outside of the warehouse and Indy is pulled out of the trunk of the car (you'll recall the previews), they go from a real outdoors set to a fake indoors soundstage (pretending to be still outside). The jungle chase in the duck amphibious vehicles (I wonder if those will go in water at one point or not?...) looks like the whole jungle was made of plastic. And then we go with the actual acting and characters. Well, everyone will be pleased to hear that LeBeef was horrible. He'd start crying about skeletal remains representing people that had died thousands of years ago (boohoo). Once Indy figures out Beef's heritage, he is non-stop complimentary towards every non-screwup thing he does (they would pause for mugs of adulation; just horrible). The Double Agent dude is comically horrible. Marion was actually really great when she was first introduced (about half way) and she and Indy have some good banter. But after that five minutes, she was sporting a big muggy smile as they continued on their adventure and she was never scared, worried, or nervous, even with the stupid moments that she tries to help (duck in a tree; you will cringe when you see it...). Cate Blanchett wasn't overly horrible, but her characters' abilities of psychic prowess were never successfully used and she whenever she caught Indy she was never really intimidating or bad. And then we have Indy himself. He has a few lines that work and a million that don't. He just never shows signs of worry or distress. Again, no Tension. He also has a weird tendancy to help the bad guys figure out the clues; never figured out why. Anyway, I don't want to rant on forever, as it doesn't matter what I say, you will see this movie regardless. And even though it's not as bad as Allan Quartermane, it's definitely not a good Indy Movie. But for those of you that feel that the new Star Wars Movies robbed your childhood, expect some molestations from Uncles' George and Steven... If you use this, call my ShogunMaster....


Readers Talkback
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  • May 8, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    Still..

    by Sailor Rip

    ...I have hopes

  • May 8, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    hmmm I disagree

    by misnomer

    I havent seen the movie, but I disagree anyway. Any Indy is good Indy.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    by the way

    yeah, I knew it. Spielberg should've spent his time pulling Spike Jonze from development hell.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Shogun Masters...

    by digginjim

    .. review differs somewhat from the comments made by theamazingpoet in the soundtrack thread... hey AICN, why publish one review and not the other, do you WANT this movie to be bad?

  • May 8, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Yikes, One bad apple...

    by fishface

    Let's see if ShogunMaster just has a cob up his ass or what. I'll wait for general concensus before convicting Spielberg.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    Merrick - why do you bother?

    by Samson_K

    You are as bad as a lot of the drones that bitch and whine on here <BR><BR>So, someone doesn't like the new film - you are allowed to wait until you see it before declaring that the film is in fact awful!<BR><BR>And as for the headline - the Indy film I've been dreading stars everyone that was ever in an Indy film going on a happy quest together and finding the meaning of true friendship a la Lethal Weapn 4. There's Nazi's in it and there is a scene where Marion and Willie both give birth at the same time and Marcus Brody's ghost appears and tells Indy that he can be dad to both kids.<BR><BR>Oh, and Danny Glover is in it!

  • May 8, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    NOOOOOOO!

    by tile_mcgillus

    Oh my god. That sounds absolutely fucking terrible. I feel sick to my goddamn stomach after reading this. I had hopes for a decent Indy adventure but instead it sounds like everything we worried about came true. <p> SNAKE AS A ROPE! SERIOUSLY!?!?! George Lucas...I quit.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    by misnomer

    Die Hard 4 and AvP were bad enough. I simply refuse to accept that a bad Indiana Jones movie could ever be made by the beards. At the very worst we'd get something close to Temple Of Doom, and I'd be happy with that. This guy sounds like he had bones to pick before he watched the movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST

    Maybe.....

    by dude_gimme_tabs

    Maybe, as with Star Wars and some other re-visits to old favourites, it is simply a case that WE have moved on, not the films ?

  • May 8, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Second, third or fourth

    by Rodolfo

    I still have may hopes.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    *sniff*

    by BanAllFIRSTPosters

    I wish I hadn't read this one.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Nope, eleven

    by Rodolfo

  • May 8, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    I don't mind slow

    by TheBigDogg

    I mean, I would hope it wouldn't be some Too Fast Too Furious thing to keep up with the times. But... the description does sound pants. Hoping for better when I see it myself.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    Since I've had a different reaction to the trailers...

    by just pillow talk

    I'm not worried....yet. Just like I'm not going to rush judgment on the movie based upon just the trailers, I'm not going to based upon this single review. <p>Granted, I'm automatically giving this more leeway than some other movie since it is Indy.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

    by _SnakePlissken_

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the shit movie

  • May 8, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    Doesn't sound too promising

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    The mugging part is what I've been worried about since Spielberg said this new one was closest in tone to The Last Crusade - my least favourite of the original three. What is it about film series' that the creative types always feel the need to make things sillier with each new film? I really, really don't want to watch an over-the-hill Harrison Ford acting like an ass and making self-conscious jokes about his age. Fuck post-modernism, just make an entertaining new Indy adventure.<p>Still, maybe this guy is being a little harsh. No doubt, a bunch more reviews are on the way.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    by misnomer

    ...the snake as a rope scene sounds hilarious. Can't wait to see the Prairie Dog scene either. "Prairie Dogs...why'd it have to be prairie dogs?" (think I'm joking? just wait.) What DOES surprise me (the real reason for this post) is that Shogun Master failed to mention the scene where Indy climbs in a fridge which is sent hurtling through the air by a nuclear blast. SURELY give n the nature of the review this would have been mentioned for being ridiculous? Never in any peril???? When I come to think of it, I'm starting to doubt the integrity of this review a bit.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    Didn't read

    by Maxer

    I'm going to this movie at midnight whether it's good or not.. I want my Indy!

  • May 8, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Indy pack in action?

    by Samson_K

    What kind of film were you expecting?

  • May 8, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Saw that coming

    by Rat Fink

    This movie is 10 years too late

  • May 8, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    is anyone suprised?

    by Reelheed

    Over the years Steven and George have developed a horrible patronizing tone towards family films and so it was always a worry that the new Indy would be very soft compared to the first. Shame though. D'yknow Jaws was a PG certificate in the uk originally. What went wrong guys?

  • May 8, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Hollywood Homicide

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I just watched this for the first time the other day. Maybe one of the worst films I've ever seen.

  • May 8, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    This is posted by Merrick...

    by Sledge Hammer

    Therefore anything that follows has absolutely no credibility whatsoever in my dojo. Double that when it's something that lines up with "what he suspected all along". I'll wait for some legitimate reviews before I start panicking personally.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    This is just one review

    by Darth WickedChicken

    I will hold judgement untill I see it for myself.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Just ignore it.

    by Lost Jarv

    He's a cock- and someoene else has already refuted it. <P>I had a totally different reaction at the trailer before Iron Man, so although 1 Cinema in London is not representative, perhaps Merrick is talking bollocks.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:04 a.m. CST

    Too bad, but yeah

    by kafka07

    I'm not surprised. George Lucas sucks, and Ford and Spielberg are too over-the-hill. Oh well.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Was he being sarcastic about Allan Quartermaine...

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    Being a crappy knock off? Because that character is nearly 100 years older than Indiana Jones...

  • May 8, 2008, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Furthermore,

    by Lost Jarv

    this is the exact review he put in the TB thread. As a general rule of thumb, if it appears in a TB it is, in fact, complete shit.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:05 a.m. CST

    Not that one review confirms it

    by RipVanMarlowe

    but from the 1st CG-pants preview on, I've had a sneaking suspicion this would easily be the weakest in the series. Some things are better left untouched (by George Lucas).

  • May 8, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Josh Brolin as George W. Online

    by BanAllFIRSTPosters

    http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20198476,00.html

  • May 8, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Re : Dude_gimme_tabs

    by Real Deal

    No. It's called lack of imagination. The thing about the Star Wars films is that you knew what was going to happen just not how. They had a built in handicap. Also because it was the first part of the story it was mostly dark. The positive stuff comes at the end. In the first trilogy you were always caught up in the characters and what was happening. You didn't know what was coming next and always rooted for victory. You got excited because you didn't know for sure what was going to happen. If you look at the trilogy the second movie " The Empire Strikes Back " it suffers slightly from the same thing in that it's unresolved by it's very nature. However in the next installment Darth Vader is revealed , the emperor dies, and Luke finally becomes a man. Oh! Han gets the girl. There's resolution. Through out you care about the characters. In the first trilogy not so much. Now I don't know abouit this film however I always wanted them to do one more film with Karen Allen as I thought she was always the best counterpart to Ford. It could be that Spielberg and Lucas have shot their wad so to speak and just don't have that creative edge that they used to in their youth. That does happen to film makers. But have we moved on? Not a chance!

  • May 8, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    Wow!

    by thecheesegrommit

    That just sounds like every other wanna be film makers review that calls these talk backs home. Shogun, your nitpicks don't even slightly sound like things that would make for a bad movie unless your not doing the severity justice. I don't know, I get the feeling some seem to pre hate this. Possibly because of the Beating we took with "Phantom Menace"

  • May 8, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    DAMNIT!!!

    by Underoos Hero

    THIS SHIT DEFINATELY REEKS OF LUCAS!! I was afraid of this. I knew deep down that those trailers for I4 were lacking any substance or weight. And yes, I'm sorry, you usually can tell how good a movie is going to be by the trailer. Two good examples are "New World" and "Sling Blade". I fell in love with the trailers immediately and both movies fucking rawked! Goddamn you Lucas!!!

  • May 8, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    Another punk who doesn't get it...

    by Disgustipitated

    I don't know what's wrong with soem of these people nowadays, but they don't get it. I read through the first paragraph or two, just enough to see if this person is being objective or if they're just a clueless punk. Sadly, the latter rings true. What I read so far sounds exactly in line with the rest of the Indy movies as well as the serials on which they are all based. Everyone seems to be so used to current formula for action/adventure films they can't remember (or aren't old enough to, much less appreciate it) when there was a time when it was more important to tell a decent story not just blow everything up. You know your hero is going to make it in the end, but you don't care because it's the journey with them that counts. I don't have a problem with conventional (these days I supposed it's referred to as old school) props and effects. Without them the film wouldn't fit with the rest of the series. Unfortunate about Abner, but I love the fact we get to see the Ark. Overall, it sounds interesting to me. My family and I will see it, period.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    I do hope this is good, though

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    If only for George Lucas's sanity. If he manages to piss on the legacy of not one but both of his contributions to popular culture, I worry he may actually lose it. He may crack. He may next find himself stalking from room to room at Skywalker Ranch, a dazed expression fixed to his face, as he shoots everyone he sees.<p>Luckily, he will probably only be armed with a Han Solo prop gun, which does not shoot actual lasers, and no lives will be lost.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    What'd you expect...

    by Kid Z

    ...George "The Pouch" Lucas is involved (and yes, Spielberg and Ford are indeed "over the hill"). However Lucas deserves extra scorn. I'll NEVER forgive that fat f*** for those godawful Prequels!

  • May 8, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    I'll still go see this though

    by Underoos Hero

    :)

  • May 8, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    Who cares?

    by Sithdan

    I never adhere to what critics say. I loved X-men 3, Pirates 3, Superman Returns, Revenge of the Sith, I Am Legend, and Da Vinci Code, whereas critics gave these films mixed-to-negative reviews. I'll be in line to see Indy no matter what. If critics pan it, chances are I'll like it.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Didn't read the review b/c of spoilers.

    by beastie

    But I almost cried when I read the headline. 'Course, I'm in the minority of geeks who actually enjoyed the Star Wars prequels.</p><p>Here's to hoping Lucas allows his animation department to do Fate of Atlantis.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Sithdan

    by Underoos Hero

    The movies you just listed sound like a top ten movie list for soccer moms. Good God Man!! WTF?!! Don't worry though, I won't scorn or call you names. :)

  • May 8, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Allan Quartermaine

    by wowsucks

    I actually watched that crap a long time ago. New Indy movie is 50/50 for possible outcome but I have to see it suck to truly believe it. I for one have not been keeping my hopes up just in case.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    ONLY PART TIME!

    by Series7

  • May 8, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Hopefully

    by Series7

    Indy pees on someone. I hear thats in all of the Buffs contracts now, that someone has to get peed on.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Oh No

    by Fortunesfool

    It's not a 'parkinsons' cam, spastic edited nightmare with an emo score. Well, it must be shit!!<p>For 'slow', read: Well made film.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Needs more "tension"

    by Samuel Fulmer

    and cowbell!

  • May 8, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Disgustipitated, agreed

    by Slippy

    When the hell did anyone EVER think Indy was going to die? One of the most ridiculous scenes in cinematic history came from "Last Crusade" where Indy and his father are riding the motorcycle and that plane in flames shoots right by them in the tunnel and they each give each other a stupid look. But that part was still FANTASTICALLY done and memorable. Shogun Dope doesn't get the franchise at all. Also, Allan Quatermain was from H. Rider Haggard's book King Solomon's Mines written in 1885. Look it up Shogun Dope. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allan_Quatermain The review was shit and I cannot wait for this movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Can we have an anti Shia Petition?

    by Underoos Hero

    I mean damn. The kid can't act, he's not funny, and he is probably one of the most annoying people to look at on screen other than that fag David Shwimmer (I think his name is). Fuck it that whole "30's Something" cast is annoying to look at.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    My brother saw it Tuesday night and loved it

    by slone13

    <p>He said it was easily the best Indy sequel yet.</p> <p>Sounds like ShogunMaster doesn't know shit and Merrick's predisposed to disliking it, too.</p>

  • May 8, 2008, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Why do it at all?

    by malificus

    I mean really, this is the golden age for movie geeks, super heroes, action films, effects-laden monstrocities,soul-cringing horror can even be found in abundance what the fuck do we even need with dredging poor Indiana Jones from the dusty backwashes of celluloid history anyway? Harrison Ford is, quite frankly, OLD and old and dodgey is something Indiana Jones should NEVER be. It's just like Chinese food, the crab cheese was great, the enormous first portion of General Tso's hit the spot, but that goddamned MSG just forces you to eat just a leeeeetle more, and then your sorry. I'm sorry for Indiana Jones, the character deserves better than an ego-driven money grab. Don't go see it I say, I refuse based on my love of the original, I don't want it spoiled. You wanna watch Adam West quipping and punching his way through a gloriously colorful episode of the 60's Bat Man show or join him 3 years after in a supermarket parking lot with a cheap reproduction of the cowl selling glossies? Take my advice and just stay away, if it's really all that you can always catch it on DVD but there better be a shitload of shining word of mouth before I befoul my memories of Raiders...I mean, any more than Temple of Doom did.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    Lucas & Spielberg have lost their souls...

    by chains

    It's sad to see but painfully obvious. They've lost their hearts, their creativity, their fire. Too comfortable and family-oriented to be truly inspired, they simply don't put as much effort into their films as they did so long ago. I could tell from that first "Skull" trailer that everything looked too polished and plastic-like. This will likely be the Phanton Menace of Indy flicks.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Indy Trailer @ Iron Man....

    by FleshMachine

    the audience shut up for batman trailer...everyone seemed to ignore the indy trailer. weird. but ehn...not a great trailer especially compare to batman...which lok great. fuck fuck fuck...why cant they make a greta indy movie...raiders was on last night...wow..great fucking film!! sigh. lucas has zero talent left...speilberg should stick too serious films form now on. still..ill be first in line, but this does not bode well.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Fuck this guy.

    by DocPazuzu

    Wrong attitude going in, even worse while watching it.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    True Indy fans will love it.

    by UKfilmfan

    you're going to get the haters...i for one have waited years for the film to be made...regardless of dodgy snakes and hiding in fridges...its all good...the 22nd May cant come fast enough...

  • May 8, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    Still psyched

    by Dr. Zempf

    I dunno....Sounds like exactly the movie, Spielberg said he was setting out to make. I seem to remember him saying something about stiving to match tone and the "slower" editing of the three first movies. And what the hell happened to willing suspension of disbelief? The fake stuff doesn't mix with the real stuff? Didn't mix all that well i "The Last Crusade" either. Nevermind. Still looking forward to this.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Where have all you bastards been

    by Lost Jarv

    One bad review from a dickhead and you've all crawled out of the woodwork with your already sharpened TB knives at the ready. <P>Fucking hell, I got burnt by the prequels too, but this review screams of someone who a)doesn't get it and b)actively looked for flaws. <P>Relax, ignore it, and lets see what else comes up.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    another review - spoiler free

    by digginjim

    merrick has mysteriously decided no to post... no spoilers (scroll down the page): http://italian.imdb.com/title/tt0367882/

  • May 8, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    Allan Quartermain a "crappy indy knockoff"???

    by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World

    Was this reviewer dropped on his fucking head? Oxygen deprived from his brain for an extended period at any point in his life?

  • May 8, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    Indy Trailer.. Honest what was wrong!

    by wowsucks

    They didn't use the score with the whip crack in the warehouse. Honest! Made the scene blah, Indy movies need the crisp sound of the whip and score in action scenes to add the element and get the attention! Indy movies use audio to create drama, and faster paces. I hope they did not forget that.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    DocP

    by Lost Jarv

    Diggers is up to his old tricks in the other thread. This is like all his Birthdays rolled into one and then decorated with Christmas for him.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    This actually sounds great

    by DanteS2005

    Who gives a crap about speed and high-tension action sequences! This is not a Michael Bay movie. Who gives a sh!t is the jungle looks like plastic, or cgi doesn't blend with the real environment... c'mon! I want this to be an old school movie, both visually (no frenzied editing with nanoseconds long shots) and story wise. I PRETEND a slow movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    I wish Spielbergo and Lucas..

    by malificus

    ..would stop making movies altogether. I wish they'd change gears ala Michael Jordon and try something completely different, my god what's left for them to say or do? When is enough goddamned ENOUGH?

  • Here's that review: p."I caught an advanced screening of the fourth Indiana Jones movie and I say I enjoyed it IMMENSELY!!! Wow, for years now I thought that after "War of The Worlds" Spielberg has lost his touch; not so here. Here he returns to the basic fundamentals of the lost arts of practicality and just plain good old fashioned genuine storytelling (something that's solely lacking in today's CGI-heavy world) helped along by the big guy himself Harrison Ford along with witty and charming Shia LaBeouf as a newcomer to the franchise with George Lucas lending some support to cinematography. Ford is simply amazing as the venerable adventurer with lots of impressive stunt work. Everything is bigger and better than before, the action is of high-caliber, the plot is thorough and exciting with intelligent writing coupled with awesome special effects. But what really surprised me was that it looked like it was filmed in the 1980's; something that's rare in this Digital Age!!! I'm sure those accustomed to digital film-making may be put off, but it actually works really well and gives the film an added dose of nostalgia and sense of wonder that Spielberg brought so successfully in his past films. Not many films can achieve that feat, but I can strongly say that Spielberg has gone out on top and brought back one the most beloved cinematic heroes around for one more time."

  • May 8, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    shit. Try again:

    by Lost Jarv

    Here's that review: <p>"I caught an advanced screening of the fourth Indiana Jones movie and I say I enjoyed it IMMENSELY!!! Wow, for years now I thought that after "War of The Worlds" Spielberg has lost his touch; not so here. Here he returns to the basic fundamentals of the lost arts of practicality and just plain good old fashioned genuine storytelling (something that's solely lacking in today's CGI-heavy world) helped along by the big guy himself Harrison Ford along with witty and charming Shia LaBeouf as a newcomer to the franchise with George Lucas lending some support to cinematography. Ford is simply amazing as the venerable adventurer with lots of impressive stunt work. Everything is bigger and better than before, the action is of high-caliber, the plot is thorough and exciting with intelligent writing coupled with awesome special effects. But what really surprised me was that it looked like it was filmed in the 1980's; something that's rare in this Digital Age!!! I'm sure those accustomed to digital film-making may be put off, but it actually works really well and gives the film an added dose of nostalgia and sense of wonder that Spielberg brought so successfully in his past films. Not many films can achieve that feat, but I can strongly say that Spielberg has gone out on top and brought back one the most beloved cinematic heroes around for one more time."

  • May 8, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    One bad review is not enough to discourage me.

    by rbatty024

    I'm going to wait until the professionals start reviewing this sucker before I change my expectations. Sure, critics can get it wrong too, but as a conglomerate they're far more accurate than some guy on the internet. The trailers have steadily improved and I trust Spielberg at the helm. He's been saying all the right things (he's not using those annoying quick cuts and he's trying to emulate the look of the previous films) despite some of the malice that's coming out of Lucas. I'll be there opening day.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Shogun Master is full of..

    by digginjim

    shit... - so Shia is Indys son..? not according to what this guy says about the DK book: I just glanced through the new DK Ultimate Guide to Indiana Jones at the local Barnes and Noble... among the few spoilers I read were: Hurt's character "ox" is a university friend of Indy who has disappeared down in Peru... he is also Mutt's surrogate dad.. helping Marion raise Mutt... Mutt's real father was an RAF pilot named Colin who was killed in the war.. also read in the timeline where they list Henry Sr's death in 1951... after seeing these points I had to put the book down... didn't want to read all of the spoilers... interesting stuff to say the least !

  • May 8, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Crap Review

    by Da B-Meister

    I find that whole "review" to be complete garbage. It reeked of someone who was holding unreasonable expectations to begin with (which are impossible to satisfy completely) and he started to nit-pick every single thing he could find. I could give it a little credit if the movie ends up in more of the corny tone of Last Crusade, rather than the more serious, engaging Raiders.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    He actually said..

    by malificus

    .."the action is high caliber".

  • May 8, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Wait a second

    by deathblurr

    A recent report mentioned shai as not being indy's son, this guy mentions him as being indy's son. also, in trailer shai refers to indy as professor. this review could be legit, but wasn't well written enough, or smart enough for me to even finish reading.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Bunch of whiney bitches

    by theabusetaker

    Man, you guys would bitch and whine about anything. You got a new Indiana Jones movie - why not celebrate in the fact instead of making the whole experience miserable and tainted for everyone else. "George Lucas raped my childhood-wah, wah, wah!" How can you expect some kind of tension AFTER three other films where he always escapes by the skin of his teeth? I mean, of course we know what to expect after three other films, dumbass. That's what most people want to see. They want to see the Man back in action, and I can tell you that from what I've seen, he's definitely back in action, especially for a 65 year old. The trailer looked slow? It's a one minute trailer. How can ANYTHING except a romantic drama or a film about The Tortois and The Hare look slow in one minute?

  • May 8, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Nice one Lost Jarv

    by UKfilmfan

    Saw this as well!Good Call!

  • May 8, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Isn't it "Dr. Jones?" Mr. Jones was the Counting Crows

    by thebigtexas

    Just a quick correction to the review above...although I had a feeling that this movie was going to suck. It seriously does lack "tension" on the trailers. I mean, no one feels any excitement when you make movies like this any more. You KNOW he's going to be ok. There's no suspense. -- The Big Texas

  • May 8, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    I saw this thing on tues. - it was best of sequels

    by Dick Bahls

    They can never out do the original. That being said, this guy must have seen a different movie than me. Although maybe his mommy forgot to pack his ritilin - poor baby.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Fuck that

    by CuervoJones

    I´m gonna enjoy it, even if i need drugs to do it.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    i can't not think Napoleon Dynamite...

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    at the beginning of that new trailer. that voice over by Ford sound so much like Kip. <p>and i think this will be bad, but i also think people will convince themselves its not. like some have with the prequels.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    What's with Mutt's last name?

    by beastie

    I saw the toy at Wal-Mart the other day and the last name is Williams. Not Jones or Ravenwood. It sounds like his father is someone with the last name, Williams.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    "It seriously does lack "tension" on the trailers."

    by Lost Jarv

    So. Fucking. What. <P>All that means is that the Marketing sucks.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Also, to Lost Jarv, thanks for giving me hope...

    by beastie

    ... with that other review. Hope it's not a plant.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Ford should follow Connery and Newman...

    by thedarklinglord

    And just retire. Hollywood doesn't know what to do with him (and he doesn't know how to select scripts anymore) and when he can't even save a fucking Indiana Jones movie, then there's just no point in being on film anymore. Not that I ever believe they'd be able to pull off another Indy movie after so many years. Spielberg has become a more uneven director in the last decade. Lucas still can't write worth shit. And Ford has to face the reality that he's gotten old, which means he's no longer suitable to play "action" roles and the best he can hope for is to play the gruff, crusty, wise-crackin' ex-hero - which is probably where they should have taken things with Indy 4, minimizing Ford's time onscreen while maximizing his usage with crisply written, appropriately smart dialogue and actions, but Shia is too much of a fucking pussy to be a star, leaving the weight of the entire movie on Ford's geezer shoulders. They should have just left well enough alone. Seriously, can we stop with all the fucking sequels, prequels, trilogies, and remakes? How about it Hollywood? Can you maybe, just fucking MAYBE, churn out the occasional self-contained movie that tells a great fucking story that can be successful without the need for you bastards to keep right on assfucking it until it's a shrivelled-up husk begging for death? No, of course not. What am I thinking? You've got that new Star Trek on the way, and we both know you won't be able to resist squeezing that tit dry, then lopping it off and tossing it in the blender to get every last drop. I'm really beginning to hate movies.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    As tackbacker I Dunno so aptly said...

    by DocPazuzu

    ..."It's Indiana FUCKING Jones, you assholes!!"

  • May 8, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Christ this ones harsh... spoilers

    by digginjim

    another imdb entry So I caught an advance screening in New York a week ago...what a disappointment. The movie is more leisurely paced than Last Crusade, which was tame but fun. This movie has no sense of fun or adventure...it glides by with nary a trace of humor or action within the first hour. The opening sequence feels flat, all set in a warehouse, and with the most implausible action this side of the Temple of Doom river. Surviving a nuclear blast inside a fridge??? Being thrown against chains and steel walls and rocket sled at intense speeds without a scratch? Maybe the younger Indiana Jones would have, not this old Indiana Jones. Cate Blanchett comes off best but her line readings become monotonous, stressing the incredulity of the plot with more dialog in the first hour than Shakespeare!!! And badly written dialog to boot! Ford is stoic, seemingly depressed throughout though his brief scenes with Karen Allen, in an extended cameo as Marion, do come alive. Shia has no attitude, Ray Winstone has some bravura moments where he accosts Ford inside a car or questions him about his age but even he feels like leftover material from the Lost World. Not a very good sign. And John Hurt looks like he would rather be somewhere else - he is not Abner Ravenwood by the way. As for action scenes, they are even more brief than Last Crusade. This movie is trying to be a drama but it fails because nothing in it feels the least bit dramatic...it is so watered down that the music actually feels boring. I will say the sound effects and special effects are amazing. The inside of the temple with its various trap doors are fascinating, but there is nothing serial like about this movie = no sudden attempts to escape death or surviving traps (the less said about the snakes in the quicksand, the better). This movie is inert and contains villains that wouldn't harm a prairie dog (though there is a scene involving dogs and animal experiments that will freak out PETA). I've enjoyed the first three films but this one is not a rousing finish...and the revelations can be seen coming from miles and miles, not to mention the incessant double crosses. Forget crystal Skull...stick with some art-house fare - you'll be a better person for it.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Shia Lagoof

    by mynameisnickpappageorgioandthisisarealbowflexbody

    Who is this sack of crap blowing to get these juicy roles and can an actor with some talent please take his lead and edge this guy out of future roles?

  • May 8, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Now heres the thing

    by UKfilmfan

    All the hate on Indy...name drops Allen Quatermaine....called ShogunMaster....mthinks a Richard Chamberlain fixation?

  • May 8, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Lies, Lies, Lies

    by bingcrosbyb

    He could have definitely gotten all of that information from the Topps trading cards. Hell, he can't even spell correctly!!!! This is a BOGUS review.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    'STINO', NosferatuJones?

    by raw_bean

    Would that be George Lucas' famous 'Star *Trek* In Name Only'? :D

  • May 8, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Hmmm....

    by Lightwave7871

    This review reads like the guy is simply reaching for issues... it reads not like someone disappointed with a film, but someone with an agenda... Honking on about the sound stages looking fake compared to real world outside shots! I just think the guy went in with an opinion and searched to justify it rather than review it... I'll wait for a few more "rough" reviews before I'd think this was anything other than one guy wanting to start a new "george lucas raped my childhood" gag

  • May 8, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    My Drama

    by Series7

    teacher in high school was the guy kicked out of the Van in the first Indy movie. There is now a lego of that scene. I don't know though, that guys name is Terry Leonard, I can't remember who my drama teacher was, but Terry seems kind of famous in the stunt world. My teacher was probably a liar. <P> http://tinyurl.com/5eylvw

  • May 8, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Actually, I suppose you're right.

    by raw_bean

    Those prequel films *didn't* actually seem to have anything to do with the Star Trek I remember. Were the 'Jedis' supposed to be Vulcans or something? I guess that means that 'Sith Lord' guy was starting the *Romulan* Empire in that third film. And what was with turning the Federation into weird alien japanese businessmen with robot armies? :D

  • May 8, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Topps Trading Cards

    by UKfilmfan

    Review posted a couple of days ago of these cards...outline of the film could easily be described by these...exactly what the 'review' noted...makes me suspect???

  • May 8, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Will top out at $150 million. Bombs away.

    by Laserhead

  • May 8, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    i wonder...

    by Gatsbys West Egg Omlet

    were people making these kind of excuses while reading harsh reviews for episode one? <p>i was a closet geek at the time, and didn't frequent these sites.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Richard Chamberlain!

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    Yummers!

  • May 8, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    PLANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by Nate Champion

    All just part of Spielberg's plan to get us all thinkin' it sucks and then blow our asses away. At least I hope so. I'll still take a shitty Indiana Jones movie over anything else coming out this summer.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    HEY

    by BurgerTime

    I'd pay to watch Indy take a shit at this point, it's been so long since an installment. So it'll be better than nothing I suppose.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Any real reviews out there from VERIFIED sources?

    by bingcrosbyb

    Didn't think so. Just Lucas haters that lost their childhood to the star wars prequels. Give it a rest ShogunMaster and go play with your light saber....

  • May 8, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Can someone please expain to me

    by Lost Jarv

    why the negative reviews have such a fucking hard on for Abner Ravenwood? <P>This leads me to believe that there is a fairly large dose of Ringwearer9 syndrome going around- they have very specific expectations and if they are not met then the film is a dud.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    George Lucas created Star Wars, Indiana Jones and ILM

    by CuervoJones

    You just create things in the toilet. Live with it.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    dread.....?

    by spudwas

    Ouch...this is going to hurt. "Say it ain't so...steve! say it ain't so!"

  • May 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    Why hasn't that ghoul, NoDiggity...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...showed up yet, salivatinig over this review? It's like he himself wrote the damn thing. Six months ago.

  • May 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    I knew it

    by wizzard890

    I didn't want to admit how unenthusiastic the trailers left me, but now I suppose there's nothing I can do. I might not even TRY to suffer through this one.

  • May 8, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    Somewhere Memories Of Murder

    by skimn

    is chuckling to himself somewhere. That bastard always asserted that IJ4 was a soulless money grab on the part of Lucas and Spielberg. I'd hate it if he is right. Shogun hit the nail on the head regarding a sense of danger. I enjoyed DH4 for the competant action machine that it was, but Bruce Willis' character never seemed to be in any real mortal danger. He seemed more pissed off, with a look of consternation of his face, as opposed to the "What the fuck am I in the middle of" look of the original. Its that lack of danger that was off in DH4, that made it a bit hollow.<p>Now, Indiana Jones was always a bit lighter fare than the Die Hard series, but they drew the line of good and evil very clearly, and lives were at stake. Sure, the title hero never dies, but at least take his possible demise seriously. James Bond was not going to be lasered from the balls up in Goldfinger, but damn if it didn't look like it COULD happen.<p>I'll be there for Indy on opening weekend. I'm just afraid it may be a 2 1/2 star affair instead of a solid four.

  • May 8, 2008, 9 a.m. CST

    Ever thought that the magic's gone?

    by nerosday

    Maybe its not the films, well if they are flaming pieces of crap it IS the films, but maybe its our expectations too. We whine if it’s not enough like we remember, we bitch if it’s too much. We scream about flames on Optimus and nipples on Batsuits, Emo Spideys, and Michael Bay raping our childhoods. Maybe part of it is us. I think we are the first generation that has never fully let go of its childhood, not only that we brought it back through pop culture right when we were supposed to become "men" and get married and have kids. But we fool ourselves into thinking the magic lasts into adulthood. Sadly I don't think it does, with age the wonder we saw everything with as kids fades guys, and we see with a cynical eye what we simply accepted as kids. Sadly, I don't think they need to bring anything back from our childhoods anymore. If they want to make Superhero movies go ahead, those characters change anyway, but not Indy or GI Joe or even Transformers. We want to see them as we saw them as kids and we never will. Trying to is just rubbing salt in the wounds and reminding us of our age.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    The Quartermain reference

    by filmcoyote

    proves this guy is a moron but does that make him wrong? I've been worried about this one for a while. Lucas just has too much control to hope for a good outcome.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    BurgerTime

    by just pillow talk

    I almost share your sentiment, though I would most definitely pass watching Indy take a dump.<p>Listen, there are two distinct camps: one that is predisposed to hate the new Indy, and one that is going to see it regardless of any negative reviews and judge for themselves. <p>I am not saying it's going to be great, cause I sure as hell don't know. I do know I liked the latest trailer, and I have the hope that I'll get a solid Indy movie. Does that mean I'm going into the movie automatically liking it no matter what unfolds in front of my eyes? No. Hell, I ignored every single Spidey 3 bashing review and was giving it the benefit of the doubt until I saw it myself. I loved the first two, but I hated the shit out of Spidey 3. The same will go with Indy 4.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    I´ve seen it yesterday too. Merrick,here´s my Review: FUCK YOU!!

    by gunganhater

  • May 8, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Abner Ravenwood

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I'm glad to see John Hurt is playing someone else. I hate it when past movies establish a character that we never see as being dead, only to have them show up again in a sequel.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Never mind...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...I'll just fill in for him: <p> I fear Indy 4 will be too pulpy! <p> Everything in the last three Indy movies is a "callback" to Raiders! <p> Newt is Jones! <p> Burke is Ash! <p> Vasquez and Drake are Parker and Brett! <p> The guy reaching longingly in the Indy 4 trailer is Satipo, er, reaching longingly in Raiders! <p> Gremlins = cultural sabotage! <p> The hat... The Hat... THE HAAAAT!!!

  • May 8, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    I loved King Solomon's Mines

    by Sithdan

    Great movie! How could you not like it?

  • May 8, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Not Surprised

    by ScottinDC

    I'm not surprised...I've read a few other reviews by people who were part of the two largest screenings to date. The reviews have largely been poor with about 1/3 being positive ... my guess is that those follks who are really jonesing for an Indy adventure will be satisfied to see the old boy back on the screen. But for the rest of us, the movie will be somewhat dissatisfying (the trailers have all fallen flat IMO and I just can't take Shia seriously). 1/3 of all people enjoyed the Star Wars prequels - the rest of us loathed them. This reviewer clearly went in to this movie ready to not enjoy it which has colored his thoughts a bit; but it doesn't mean he's wrong.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    jaded opinions, we're all older and picky as hell.

    by zom-bot.com

    i dunno folks, it sounds about as good as the last Indy movie.<P>as far as the kid saying the trailer was 'too slow'. well, he's a kid born in the 2000's. i value his opinion on attention span about as much as i value the crusty penny rusted to the floor in my garage.<P> i just think having all grown up with the other indy's we all have magical memories that can never be topped, cravings that will never be satisfied. we will be critical and look for fault in a movie that we would love if we went into it with the heart of a child in the 80's again. But we are old and bitter, and nitpick every grain of a film. the other flicks were by no stretch perfect. there are people that still like temple of doom even though it looks like it was shot in a hangar, and there are people that will like this.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    LOL DocP

    by just pillow talk

    And that is the cliff notes version of every single one of NoDiggity's posts.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    I doubt it

    by The Funketeer

    You say you know there was a screening but I'd like to know how you know since everything I've read indicates they wouldn't be screening it for anyone before Cannes. I didn't read past the spoiler warning because I don't want to know what happens but I'm really looking forward to this movie and I'm glad it's being made even though movie fans in this day and age are too jaded to appreciate something like this. I doubt Raiders or Star Wars would have done well with this crowd if they hadn't first seen it when they were 8 years old. Lighten up and have some fun guys.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    So we got 1 review so far. And this is bad.

    by DerLanghaarige

    This means of course nothing. I'm scared anyway, just because Spielberg didn't made a good movie since 1993.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Ponderous, man. Fucking ponderous!!!

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Sometimes, I really hate these dubious early reviews. All they do is stir the shitstorm.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Doc- he did it in the other thread (where this first appeared)

    by Lost Jarv

    It will take him a while. It's very difficult typing only using your penis.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Dear ladies and gentlemen this 100% without a shadow of a doubt

    by Stupendous Man

    most definitely a plant...i can read between the lines...shogunmaster should shogun his a$$ on outa here!! hehe

  • May 8, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    This Years's Transformers!!!

    by greenstyle92

    Will make a shit load of cash, be loved by the general public, but geeks will be split. Half the geeks will hate it and the other half will swallow hard, take a shot, and say, "Well, uhm, I think that's all I could reasonably expect from an Indy movie, so I liked it." Then bend over so an ass raping and start crying.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    But God, I hope that's not true.

    by greenstyle92

    I don't WANT it to be true. But if a film has an wriggle room to doubt it, most will denounce it. We are all still mighty jaded from Episode I.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Fake Review!!!!!

    by bingcrosbyb

    Ain't It Cool News...You aren't going to be taken seriously as first rate entertainment news unless you start verifying your sources. The review is like reading STRAIGHT from the Topps cards. There are NO specific details in the review. All of the information is floating around the internet. Harry, you and AICN have sunken to a new low.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:14 a.m. CST

    Love it or loathe it

    by UKfilmfan

    Indy 4 will push $150m domestic and double it and add some for global- any takers?-this is pretty conservative as well

  • May 8, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    If Last Crusade came out today....

    by wildphantom07

    with the internet around there would be so much cynicism like this new movie is gonna get. The guy who mentioned the plane passing the Jones boys in the tunnel scene in Crusade nailed it. I was watching the movie the other week thinking how there must be a crowd that hate that stuff. But the sequels are littered with that kind of slapstick. I fully anticipate there to be bucketloads of the stuff in Crystal Skull. There's no way I'm going in there expecting anything less. For those of you going in there anticipating another Raiders, you aint gonna get it. Its going to be ridiculous but fun. You'll either cheer along with it as Indy quips his way through set piece after set piece with the theme tune blaring; or you'll shake your head and deny what you're seeing is the same as the other two sequels. My suggestion for those out there who read this review and thought "uh oh!!!" - watch the sequels again over the last two weeks we've got to go. Therefore at the very least you won't be bashing it for not being like the originals.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Will this movie rape my childhood?

    by Pizza The Hut

    Boy, I hope so... I could use a good rape... as long as I'm raped by a woman. ----- Seriously though, I could care less if it's not the perfect Indy movie. Raiders will always be the perfect Indy movie. Even if it's not great, I will still have a good time, and not regret having shelled out the $100 or whatever it costs now to see a movie ($200 if you count popcorn and a Coke).

  • May 8, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    why did you run this?

    by Wee Willie

    This guy is a spoilsport. I bet he didn't even see the movie. He just got drunk and made up a review.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    Same old same old

    by tomdolan04

    If it had been a positive post: "PLAAAAAAANT" <p> It's negative: "He doesn't know what the fuck hes on about"

  • May 8, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    He said the MOVIE was a Raiders ripoff, NOT the books.

    by NoDiggity

    Fucking talkbackers with no reading comprehension abilities. He specifically referred to the Richard Chamberlain movies, "King Solomon's Mines" (folloing Raiders, and obviously cashing on on Raiders popularity) and "Allan Quatermain and the City of Gold", whose very TITLE is a ripoff of "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom", and intended to cash in on the release of that Indy film. And the MOVIE "City of Gold" was so loosely based on H. Rider Haggard's books that it barely counts as an adaption of those books. Being loosely based on a book does not make a film any less of a rip-off or cash-in on a recently successful film. (I sadly await DocPazuzu's retarded shouts about how it's impossible that they could possibly have anything to do with eachother, because they were based on books.)

  • May 8, 2008, 9:17 a.m. CST

    Ah, look at us. Bashing the reviewer...

    by sapno_krei

    Seriously folks, as much as I was/am looking forward to Indy 4, and as diasppointed as I am to read this guys's opinion as the first review, I really can't say anything in response until I've seen the movie for myself. Everybody take a deep breath, sit on your hands, and wait until May 22nd.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Once again for the cheap seats

    by Lost Jarv

    trailer being meh= <P>So. Fucking. What. All that means is that the Marketing sucks.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    That's how the trailer feels - no peril, no adventure

    by performingmonkey

    If they can't show us anything good in the trailer what hope is there for the whole movie?? Fellowship of the Ring still has the best trailer of all time, of course.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    Maybe we ought to see it before -

    by Laserbrain

    - sticking the shiv into this reviewer, eh? There is a possibility (hopefully slim) that he's right and just wants to spare us a little pain. I don't want to believe Skull has "no tension", God, that's a nightmare scenario, but I'd much rather go in prepared.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Seriously, why did they even make this one, for starters?

    by cifra

    Some things are better left as they were already. The Indiana Jones "trilogy" (actually a case of Lucas greed) isn't perfect, even, and all three movies have some embarrassing movies for its audiences. I could be a geek and like the movies, but these, as the Star Wars movies (ALL of them) are overrated, there's been way better and more perfect geek movies (John Carpenter's The Thing, Blade Runner) more deserving of sequels and success than these ones... sorry if I bother someone.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Smug much, Merrick?

    by VaderSabre

    One amateur review lent credence to your dire assumptions?

  • May 8, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    'That looks slow'

    by LaudnerGomez

    Boy, way to be a great father and raise a kid with taste and patience, you complete boob.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    re titles

    by Lost Jarv

    Diggers, can you not concede the point that an awful lot of pulp literature has the title: Mr X and the (something or other). It's just a pulp title and does not mean that it is ripping off Indy. <P>You're like a particularly stupid dog with a particularly chewed bone.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    re titles

    by Lost Jarv

    Diggers, can you not concede the point that an awful lot of pulp literature has the title: Mr X and the (something or other). It's just a pulp title and does not mean that it is ripping off Indy. <P>You're like a particularly stupid dog with a particularly chewed bone.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST

    Wow, double post

    by Lost Jarv

    and I only pressed it once. Sorry. <P>And fuck off AnimalStructure.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Will this movie be any good?

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Probably not. Are most of us still going to see it? Odds say yes. Will we be on AICN right after seeing it in the theater to sling monkey dung at it? Absolutely.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    Diggers

    by Lost Jarv

    you have just been horribly pwnd by Dickblood. <P>I'd stop now before you make it worse for yourself.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Nothing is definitive in terms of opinion

    by TheLastCleric

    I make no apologies for my love of the prequels and I have no real concerns over this newest Jones flick, especially after reading all these posts taking shots at the Indy sequels. If people really hated Temple and Crusade that's their fucking problem, not mine. I remember the shrill cries when Phantom Menace hit and I also remember being completely blown away by most of the film, save for a few issues that did nothing to dampen my enthusiasm. I've never really understood the mentality that seeks to nitpick the living fuck out of these films but I do know that the detractors come off as joyless where by contrast I get to be a kid again, if only for a couple of hours. If you hate this film then hate it, it's your right. Just please don't tell the rest of us that we've "convinced ourselves" the movie is good. For some of us, life is too short to pedantically tear apart every facet of something that was meant to entertain.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    But as fanboys...

    by dude_gimme_tabs

    As movie geeks some will hate it because they have now been told to, and some will love it just because it is Indy.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    i feel bad for a kid who thinks a quick cut trailer is slow.

    by zom-bot.com

    he must just shit himself crying trying to fathom something like reading, or waiting. or bathing, or eating. or anything that isn't redbull and coco puffs being given to him for breakfast, followed by shitty seizure inducing japanese import cartoons on WB

  • May 8, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    mmmmm... something doesn't quite sound right here.

    by alucardvsdracula

    No real specifics, reads like someone with access to a load of Crystal Skull trading cards and was feeling in a pissed off mood. I'll reserve judgement, for now. Could be bogus. We'll see soon enough people.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    If it's bad, then all the more reason to make Indy 5

    by Pizza The Hut

    ...so that George & Steven can apologize for #4. In any case, all is not lost.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Sorry negative reviews, haters, and...

    by mrfan

    bashers. I still plan on being there opening night. I think I am capable of making that decision. Don't need anyone telling me otherwise. Even if Indy 4 is a turd it will still be better than many of the movies that have graced the big screen in the last few years.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:29 a.m. CST

    Please don't make fun of the guys kid

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Maybe he's autistic. If your kid was autistic, he'd probably say the same thing.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    of course

    by snapple_ladys_lazy_eye

    it sucked. george lucas is no longer any good.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    Franklin T Marmoset

    by Seph_J

    then we can all argue over who shot first at the ranch... Lucas (with his Han Solo prop gun) or.. Ben Burt (with his sonic-boomer-izer microphone-gun). <p> Either way, we still won't be able to hear John Williams score.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:34 a.m. CST

    John Williams Score

    by Samuel Fulmer

    I just hope there isn't any last minute editing that turned it into a cut and paste job, a la preaty much any action scene in the prequels where seven different cues were plastered together because George wanted to add more poop jokes or C-3P0.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    SHIT LEBEEF

    by spud mcspud

    As soon as I knew he was in it, I knew I'd fucking hate this movie. It doesn't matter how good the rest of the movie is, that bastard kid really gets my goat, for some reason. I almost didn't get to enjoy TransMeganFox'sRack 'cos of that brat being in it, he's just got this whole fast-talkin' wiseass shtick that was old twenty years ago. Couple this with a grumpy Ford, a beaming Marion (yeah Karen Allen gets paid, but was Marion EVER happy in that first movie? We loved her 'cos she was hardcore, DAMMIT!) and the slowest trailers in movie history. The trailers are shit, people - maybe that's a fucking clue?<P> I hoped and hoped, but my movie-lovin' childhood-balls are anticipating another rapin' by the beards. They invented Event Cinema - now they're fucking burying it again. Way to go, you slow old goatfuckers.<P> Still, there's always HELLBOY II. If there's one director who WON'T fuck us all over, it's Guillermo...

  • May 8, 2008, 9:37 a.m. CST

    I'm still trying to figure out how a trailer looks "slow"

    by rbatty024

    As excited as I am about the new Batman, I thought the only truly disappointing moments in Begins were the action scenes. The quick camera cuts absolutely killed the choreography. At least that won't be the case with a new Indy film. Perhaps people are just so used to the quick cuts they just don't understand how some of us can watch in amazement as a well choreographed action piece unfolds before our eyes.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Harry, you better keep an eye on Merrick

    by slone13

    <p>He's destroying any and all credibilty your site had by posting tripe like this.</p> <p>"...presumably this is how ShogunMaster saw it". Presumably??? Couldn't be bothered confirming a few details, Merrick? Details, I might add, that ShogunMaster seems to be suspiciously lacking in or is straight up wrong about.</p> <p>Merrick, you're embarrassing Harry and insulting me.</p>

  • May 8, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    Samuel Fulmer

    by Pizza The Hut

    LOL!! A cameo C-3PO gag would actually be kind of funny, or even a Chewie gag, if the designs were on something like a mummy coffin, or painted on a tomb wall. Uh-oh... I don't want to be giving George any ideas.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    A kid saying slow in this day and age...

    by mr.brownstone

    is like a cokehead looking at you waiting for you to finish talking.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    George Lucas Raped My Childhood!!!

    by kdoc13

    Sorry, no one had said it in a while, just thought I had to get it out there.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    c3po gags ARE in indy stuff

    by zom-bot.com

    "Samuel Fulmer by Pizza The Hut May 8th, 2008 09:39:38 AM LOL!! A cameo C-3PO gag would actually be kind of funny, or even a Chewie gag, if the designs were on something like a mummy coffin, or painted on a tomb wall. Uh-oh... I don't want to be giving George any ideas. " <P> have tou seen the raider lego set? there is c3po and r2d2 in a heiroglyphic block, i think.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Presumably

    by Lost Jarv

    It's only presumably because he cut and paste it from the other TB. <P>Therefore it is guaranteed horseshit- although it is like throwing a steak to a starving man for all the people that are determined to loathe it.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    kdoc13

    by spud mcspud

    And it likely he'll be buggering your adulthood by the end of May, if this review is accurate, which I fear it maybe. Watch your ass!

  • May 8, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    "this is the Movie that you were dreading" dreading?

    by Trazadone

    Who has been dreading this? I've been nothing but excited and anyone I've spoken to shares my enthusiasm. The trailers gave me goosebumps. This is going to be a huge hit. This is just such a silly review. I think Spielberg has a pretty good track record.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    zom-bot.com

    by Pizza The Hut

    Loks like they beat me to it. It doesn't surprise me.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    The Alan Quatermain bit....

    by Rameses

    In this guys defense , I think he's talking about the film version of King Solomon's mines {starring Richard Chamberlin},which was obviously thrown into production , to cash in on Raiders success{along with tales of the Gold monkey on tv etc} rather than the literary classic.In that respect he's correct.As for the review it does seem to reflect the feeling I've been getting from all the clips trailers and so on , that Crystal skull was going to be more crusade than raiders.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by spud mcspud

    Yeah, but tell me that trailer didn't fill you with a mounting sense of dread? I mean, the mugging when Indy fires the RPG in the truck front seat, that slow-ass swing on the overhead light in the warehouse, the whole "Part time" line, the four-way temple sinking into the ground...<P> I smell a shitbomb. I hope I'm wrong, but the trailer's ain't exactly great...

  • May 8, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    Isn't a restaurant in Temple of Doom...

    by rbatty024

    named Chewie's or something along those lines. So a Star Wars reference would not be out of place so long as it's not too obvious.

  • Ewoks... Since he already did that with Return of the Jedi.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    daddy, life is too slow.needs more e'splosions. kill me now

    by zom-bot.com

    too bad there aren't any quick cuts when you are growing up. or in schoolwork. although when you get to be our age, our childhood sure feels fucking gone fast. dude, you need to go and sit outside in a field with your kid for a few hours and just watch bugs in the grass.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:48 a.m. CST

    King Solomon´s Mines

    by CuervoJones

    Deborah Kerr was a hot lady.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Club Obi-Wan

    by Samuel Fulmer

    That's the name of the club at the start of TOD.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:48 a.m. CST

    The reviewer offers nothing new that is not online.

    by Dogballs99

    Everything the reviewer stated are things I have already seen "leaked" online. Even the snake bit. There were parts of the movie that I'd heard about (which I won't spoil) where I thought, "This could go really bad" but he never made one mention of any of those scenes. It really makes me wonder if the guy actually saw it at all? I've also heard conflicting reports that there were rave reviews from paramount employee screenings. Otherwise, this movie isn't supposed to be screened until Cannes. Maybe he is a paramount employee? Who knows, but the reviewer only offered one nugget of info that I haven't seen yet and there seems to be an active campagn to dull down our expectations. Anyway, I just want to see Indy kick some ass, raid some lost temples and crack the whip a few times! That would make me happy.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    What did you expect from Merrick?

    by DerLanghaarige

    He hates cats, for fucks sake!

  • Nothing you state in your review suggests that this is a bad movie. It sounds like the Indy movie I've been hoping for.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    club obi wan- in temple of doom

    by zom-bot.com

    they may have spelled it differently. i can't remember and don't want to rewatch. :)

  • May 8, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    by spud mcspud

    Thank you. Particularly coming from the man with the best TB name of the week. Is your Dickblood also only four days from retirement? ;D <P> I'm too old for this shit.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    I've got my Qualms my tuburous friend,

    by Lost Jarv

    the words "George Lucas" will always do that, but I'm trying to keep an open mind. It's far too early for howls of derision. <P>And as I've said repeatedly, there is no worse guide to what a movie will be like than a trailer- If it is bad, then the marketing is shit, and how many times have you been taken in by a great trailer for a shit film?

  • May 8, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    What the fuck, Merrick?

    by Professor Falcon

    I can't believe you posted that. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's quite obvious ShogunMaster didn't see the movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    If Indy 4 is closer to Crusade than Raiders...

    by rbatty024

    I think that would be acceptable. Nothing will beat Raiders and anyone going into a film expecting another Raiders will be disappointed. If they deliver another Crusade then I will be pleased.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    Spielberg-ish

    by Frankenbastard

    I think Steven shoots his films way to fast now which would explain why ILM can’t keep up with quality FX for this one. Plus lets face it ILM isn’t the great FX house it used to be, their animators must be the worst (but they might just be following orders if you know what I mean) in the industry now. I don’t think Spielberg’s heart is into making films like this anymore and I can just see him directing like George does “Cut, that was fine, print it and move on!” It’s as if lately he’s trying to get as many films out as he can before he hangs it up and retires. Having said all that I can’t be negative about this film till I see it for myself, after all nothing could be as bad as Temple of Doom and don’t start saying “you know if you re-watch Temple of Doom now it isn’t that bad…yes, it is. My kid is 5 and a half and she’s pretty excited for Crystal Skull because she hasn’t been jaded yet by all the easily digestible bullshit that comes out now MSM

  • May 8, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    zom-bot

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Watch Raiders again. Check out the ID number on Jacque's plane. There's your Threepio reference.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    We'll Boycott These Movies...

    by Herb West

    Like We All Should... We Can't Stand Any More Raped Childhoods! http://tinyurl.com/5u3wz8

  • May 8, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Merrick is right.

    by Uncapie

    The trailer is good, but not exiting. Like the first time you geeks saw the "Star Wars" trailer. Most of you shit your Dr. Denton's! Yes, we all want the final installment of Indy to be great; but if it has the "Lucas" curse, it'll miss its mark. Should have gone with Darabont's script.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Ahhhh, of course, Obi-Wan's...

    by rbatty024

    Oh well, I knew it was a Star Wars character.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by spud mcspud

    Good point. As I remember, WATERWORLD looked quite interesting when I saw the trailer. And let's face it, the IRON MAN trailer is short on great action sequences... but the movie is superb.<P> In short, I anticipate the worst, but pray and hope that I am utterly, completely wrong. It happens, rarely :D

  • May 8, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    wait, wait, how about this idea for Indy V?

    by cifra

    Indiana Jones and the Return of the Living Dead Heroes? That would be a right idea, get Sam Raimi to direct and..

  • May 8, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Did the beards have a cameo in originals?

    by UKfilmfan

    know Marshall did..and Kennedy.wot about Speilberg/lucas.Be interested to know if they are in KOCS?ill know when to boooo....

  • May 8, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Spielberg is the best director alive

    by CuervoJones

    Screenwriting and directing are different things.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    I'm GONNA have a good time with Indy

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and that's all I care about. Sure, I hope it's a great movie. But if it's not, so what? Of the first three, only the first is truly considered "great" anyway. But the others WERE FUN, and I'm sure this will be too. I ain't walking in expecting to have all my sins washed away or nothin'.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    I'm gonna send Merrick MY review.

    by crazyhorse2099

    <p>I didn't actually see the movie yet, but that no longer seems to be a prerequisite for getting "reviews" posted here.</p> <p>Merrick, you're as ass.</p>

  • May 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    "In short, I anticipate the worst"

    by Trazadone

    Why? Spielberg and Lucas have created some of the most beloved film properties in the history of cinema. It's so ridiculous that people take on this kind of attitude. Why anticipate the worst? I anticipate the best. Spielberg and Lucas have had many more hits than misses. I can deal with never seeing Episode 1 again but the other 2 prequels were a lot of fun.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Hey!!!

    by Lloyd Bonafide the Korean War Veteran

    you call him DR. Jones.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    pack of idiots

    by Wee Willie

    The trailer doesn't show enough action? Aren't you the same bunch of morons who complain when a trailer shows all the good parts? Have some faith. The guy who wrote this is a troll.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    Trailer

    by dude_gimme_tabs

    The trailer was just cut completely differently to the trailers we are used to for action adventure movies these days. There is nothing at all wrong with it. It reflects the pulp sensibilities of the Indy series rather than the MTV sensibilities of, for example, Bad Boys or Mr & Mrs Smith.

  • May 8, 2008, 10 a.m. CST

    Spielberg...

    by mystic_dreamer

    He likes to keep the cards tight to his chest. I am hoping that we are in for a big, romping, major surprise that gives us all the thrills we love an Indian Jones movie to give. Man, this ShogunMaster, with a penchant for Richard Chamberlain (think about his name), has really bummed me out. I wish I had never read that bloody piece of badly written prose.

  • May 8, 2008, 10 a.m. CST

    merrick threw his kid under the bus

    by zom-bot.com

    without even trying. i know he's your kid and you love him and he probably surprises you in many ways on a daily basis, but don't bring in his opinion on the speed of an old franchise shot in a way he's not too used to seeing in his world of entertainment and use it to justify a hack review on your website. I think he probably needs to watch a few other classics before he gets hung up on speed keeping him from enjoying anything. <P>again, nothing personal toward your kid, they are all like that now. i don't read their reviews. they'd like it if indy's head opened up and a butterfly gun came out and he started shooting lazer butterflies at rock robots shia kept in his pocket.

  • May 8, 2008, 10 a.m. CST

    AM I THE ONLY ONE??? (trailer thoughts)

    by warsinthesun

    I have been telling my friends from day one that they shouldn't be making another jones movie. Ford's too old and why spoil a series that, imo, was fucking awesome. Is there really anything else to say in this series?? Up until I saw the trailers I had no interest whatsoever in seeing a new jones film. That's right: the trailers fucking sold it for me. Especially the second one. How does one shot or scene in that trailer not looking fucking awesome?

  • May 8, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    If there is an Indy 5...

    by Pizza The Hut

    ...one can only hope that it will be made relatively soon, and that John Williams will still be conducting. No more multi-year feet-dragging.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Man, Lost Jarv. You are really stupid.

    by NoDiggity

    The Chamberlain "King Solomon's Mines" came out one year after Indy. "Allan Quatermain and the City of Gold" came out one year after "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom". Go ahead, be retarded for the sake of arguing. But know that you will be seen as the retard that you are because of your insistence.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Let "Hater-fest Summer '08" begin...

    by oliveboy

    WAH! WAH! WAH! It doesn't live up to my ridiculous expectations! They didn't use the script from my fanboy blog! You'll see it more than once in the theater and buy every edition of the dvd so, quit crying pussy! You're probably still pissed Lucas didn't restore the original Star Wars and give you a 7.1 remix of the sound. You're f-ing 40 years old!!Take your thumb out of your mouth! Jeez.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    Abom, be sure to bring enough #2 pencils...

    by just pillow talk

    Stab any shitheels in the mouth who deter you from enjoying your Indy experience.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    shit that was the

    by Lloyd Bonafide the Korean War Veteran

    most depressing review ever. If this is true....this sucks!!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    I love the trailers for this!

    by Trazadone

    When that John Williams music kicks in I get goosebumps. There's tons of action in trailers and any complaints are baseless.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    Oh there will be stabbings

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and perhaps my sins WILL be purged, who knows?

  • May 8, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    "dreaded"

    by slone13

    As Trazadone already asked, who was dreading this???

  • May 8, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    Once again- this isn't a properly submitted review

    by Lost Jarv

    The asshole posted it in the other TB. <P>It's just Talkbacker ranting and should be treated as such.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    I've moved on to Bic pens..

    by just pillow talk

    I'm fucking hardcore now.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    warsinthesun

    by CuervoJones

    You are not the only one, trust me.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    I'm going to pencil Jihad you diggers

    by Lost Jarv

    for being an infuriating misquoting pernickity little turd. <P>What I asked you was could you not concede the possiblility that Mr X and (>>>>) was a typical pulp title. Read Dannyglovers comment, he makes it sound like Quartermain (which he can't spell) is based on Indy. <P>I said nothing about release dates etc. If you want an Indy rip-off then I give you the Tom Selleck Vehicle (if the vehicle is a trabant) Quigly Down Under.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Danny - you're right about Iron Man CGI...

    by just pillow talk

    That was some good shit right there.<p>Oh, and Jarv, good to hear ya liked Iron Man. <p>Oh, and for Messi - Sinestro Corps forever!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Well, it'll still be better than that "Iron Man" garbage

    by Rickey Henderson

    Sorry, but it's way too early to trash a new Indy movie. You folks can continue to adore a souless & insipid comic book movie like Iron Man, but something with a bit of heart like Indy is far superior.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv, he SAID on the other Talkback that he'd submitted it.

    by NoDiggity

    Go back and read the other talkback. he said he's submitted it "to the kids" meaning to the guys on this site. Then someone goaded him into posting it there, and he obliged. But he'd already submitted it "properly". But of course, Lost Jarv is grabbing for straws, a squealing fanboy idiot, refusing to allow that the reviewer might be genuine. How desperate. How pathetic. First the desperate crap about "Allan Quatermain was a book, so the reviewer is obviously an idiot!" crap, and now this.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Which is funny, because originally Selleck was gonna be Jones.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST

    shit, DGDB can spell Quartermain

    by Lost Jarv

    Shogunarsepiece can't. <P>I'm not sure I can either.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:09 a.m. CST

    SW prequel CG was overkill

    by Pizza The Hut

    ...but it might have worked out better if the ship designs were even halfway cool, which for the most part, they were not.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    I'm not saying he isn't genuine- I'm sure he is.

    by Lost Jarv

    I'm saying he's an arsehole. <P>Shit, It's YOU Diggers, isn't it?

  • May 8, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    by redkamel

    Im not going. I dont want anothet "T3" moment that ruins an entire franchise for me.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Abom,

    by Lost Jarv

    I know, one of the worst career moves in history.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Dannyglovers dickblood,,,

    by UKfilmfan

    Not only a fucking hilarious TB name...but wise words dude.ILM is forefront FX house...saw iron man last night and loved it...CGI is outstanding -

  • May 8, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    fuck merrick

    by t40stunt

    and fuck shogunmaster . i outta bitch slap the fuck out of you two clowns .luckily i've already seen it so i know your wrong.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    F For Fake

    by dohatsuten

    imdb entry by bigger_boat75 There have been two screenings that AICN could have been privy to and somehow invited but I doubt it. Those screenings took place two weeks ago in NYC at the Paramount Screening room and the Studio Theater in Hollywood on their backlot. These screenings were for Film Exhibition industry film buyers and film booking people which also included Paramount execs and selected Guests. The next time anyone will be seeing this is at Cannes and in select cities throughout the world at officially sanctioned Paramount Press screenings all to be held on May 18th. The chances that an AICN reviewer got into one of the Trade Screenings in NY or L.A. are slim to none. All participants including Paramount's own executives who attended had to sign a three page confidentiality agreement. If someone breaks that agreement, they can kiss their relationship with Paramount goodbye. I know it's nothing I would chance. I'll vote "Bogus" as far as the AICN review goes.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    by Frankenbastard

    You aren't really going to make me make a list this early in the morning of shitty animation to prove my point are you? That's why I put the “just following orders” thing in parenthesizes. I’m not a “fanboy” but now that you mention it Wetta at least experiments with techniques, new and traditional with each new show. While here in the Bay Area ILM struggles now to get their shit together. Iron man has is pretty typical tried and true digital FX, don’t try to make it out to be anything else. Besides a better example would be the Pirates movies. Ironman…give me a fucking break fanboy.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    T3 was a lot of fun and ruined nothing

    by Trazadone

    I don't understand how movies "ruin" anything. So what, Episode 1 sucked but it didn't "ruin" Star Wars for me. Are you that fickle/fragile that things get "ruined" if they're not up to your particular standards? I hated Spider-Man 1 and 3 but that doesn't mean that they "ruined" Spider-Man 2 for me. I hate Short Round but he doesn't "ruin" Raiders of the Lost Arc for me. God, people become so hystrionic over this stuff.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    So he did.

    by Lost Jarv

    Didn't see that. <P>It's still bullshit though.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Temple of Doom is great!

    by Hybrid16

    Whats the problem with Temple of Doom? Its not as good as Raiders true, but at times its better than Last Crusade so back off. As for this review, I don't believe it. I've been impressed with the trailers, more so with the TV spots over the last few weeks and it feels more like an Indy movie the more I see. Compared to films nowadays Indy may be slow but If it was 90 minutes of a CGI'd Ford fighting anyone and everyone with quick cuts and slow motion there would be uproar. It will follow a similiar template as the others, it will take its time to tell the audience about the Skulls and we will see good old fashioned action. And Indy is older so deal with it. Wait for the Mummy 3 if you want something faster. I'm by no means defending Indy 4 as a film because I haven't seen it, but I am defending the right to be positive about it and to wait until I see it before being negative based on one review.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Danny

    by Lost Jarv

    I've spelt it differently every time now. I know there isn't an E on the end though

  • May 8, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    I meant "histrionic"

    by Trazadone

  • May 8, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Jungle Chase

    by IronSkillet

    1) "Some town call Roswell." Yeah, this is someone I can trust to review something for me. 2) "The jungle chase in the duck amphibious vehicles (I wonder if those will go in water at one point or not?...) looks like the whole jungle was made of plastic." If he saw it, why is he wondering whether they will go in the water? Or is he being a smartass and saying the fact that they go in the water is predictable? Either way, what's the point? It's like complaining about seeing the bazooka in the trailer and saying, "I wonder if at some point he will fire it?" 3) Large popcorn and a Mr. Pibb.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    A quick word on the Iron Man CG...

    by Rickey Henderson

    Yes, it was great, but at this point, who's honestly expecting anything less? With the technology available, anything ILM does absolutely has to be flawless. The issue Iron Man had was that it's set pieces were fairly bland (the fighter yet squabble and the darkened rooftop fight) and the whole hero's awakening had a certain "been there done that" feel to it. Iron Man wasn't a movie, just another uninteresting exercise in going through the motions.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    Well, the Quatermain MOVIES were ripped off of Indy.

    by rev_skarekroe

    Clearly some exec. somewhere had the rights to the books and decided to strike while Indiana Jones fandom was hot. Obviously, the Quatermain books precede Indy by about 100 years.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Said it a long time ago

    by decypher44

    and was called a "hater". You could easily tell from the trailers, "set reports" and interviews, this was going to be a clunker. And that pisses me off!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    What's your take

    by Dogballs99

    on IJ4 t40stunt? If in fact you have seen it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    ILM....

    by UKfilmfan

    Agreed Wetta are probably more experimental than ILM...But at the end of the day - once the box office receipts are counted the big hitters are 'normally' dressed by ILM-

  • May 8, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    Laughing his A@@ Off

    by sirbroiler

    I'm sure Darabont is pleasantly pleased that he is nowhere near this crapfest. George and Steven are just past their prime and once again let action and effects hijack their movies - instead of sticking to a good story and great characters.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    too bad you felt that way Rickey....

    by just pillow talk

    See, I felt like John Maine yesterday...in the groove when I watched Iron Man. I thought RDJ brought everything you need to in that role. I see for you, you felt like Ollie Perez, all over the place with Iron Man, and left feeling unsatisfied. <p>Basically what I'm trying to say is: what the fuck is up with Perez????

  • May 8, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    oh god.

    by Lost Jarv

    From "DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD" at "09:21:54" (please let this be the last time):<P>"Here is the quote fucker: ".....as it accidentally referenced the old Allen Quartermaine days (a crappy knockoff of Indy Movies incase you missed them) and this was very much similar in most respects." <p> I figured out what he meant.....but reading this makes it sound like he thought the Quatermaine character in general was a rip-off of Indy movies. Not RAIDERS-- he never mentioned Raiders, and he never mentioned Richard Chamberlain, in that quote you worthless fucking twat. I understand the Quatermain movies in the 80's were cashing in on Indy success. It didnt seem to me like the original poster did. SO FUCK OFF."

  • May 8, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Dannyglovers, I respecfully disagree

    by Trazadone

    I also hated John Connor in T2. Bad acting in both films and overall just annoying. Come on, am I the only one that wanted to smash Short round in the face every time he was onscreen?

  • May 8, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    This review has "hater" written all over it.

    by bigbaldpapa

    I am not qualified to speak to the quality of the movie but this review hardly comes off as objective. The fact alone that he obviously despises one of the main actors in the film is enough to discount this review as nothing other than biased trash. If there was an opposite of "plant" this guy is it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Raping Childhoods: It's Not Just For The Clergy Anymore

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I hear Lucas gives you the courtesy of a reacharound and Spielberg uses organic anal lube. Both whisper sweet nothings into your ear. And apparently Lucas shoots first.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    If you believe this review.....

    by bingcrosbyb

    I will wire some money to your bank account. Just email me your social security number, bank account number, and other personal information.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    indy is so old, music should reflect that

    by zom-bot.com

    ha ha, c'mon it would be funny as hell to hear a muffled trumpet 'slow and creaky hijinx' version of the march theme when indy shakily gets himself off a toilet or something. <P>bwah bwah-bwah-bwaaaaah <P>bwah bwah-bwah<P> bwah bwah bwah-BWAAAAAAAAAAA <P>(and then it peters out)<P> bwahbwahbwahbw....bh

  • May 8, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Hawaiian...

    by just pillow talk

    That makes sense since Lucas always tells his bitches that "I am your Father."

  • May 8, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    and on Iron Man

    by Lost Jarv

    Liked it, best superhero movie I've seen in ages. Would have been shit with anyone but RDJ in it. Didn't blow my socks off, and not up to the hyperbole lashed on it here. <P>Overall a very respectable 7 out of 10. <P>DOOMSDAY this weekend, motherfuckers, and that is what I've been most excited about for ages. So much so that I've avoided all teasers, most reviews and everything else. I just needed to know NEIL MARSHALL + POST-APOCALYPTIC BRITAIN and I was there.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Sorry, Node32774, I don't follow

    by Trazadone

  • May 8, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Not that one should base their opinion on another's review...

    by sapno_krei

    ...but one thing that might have put this particular review in some sort of perspective would be comparison to the previous 3 movies. Otherwise, the review has little context.<p> Carry on.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv, did that give you an orgasm?

    by NoDiggity

    Still grasping at straws, eh?

  • May 8, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    SOUNDS HORRIBLE

    by BringingSexyBack

    Exactly what I was dreading. Shoulda had Short Round instead of Mutt LeBarf. Oh well!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by Rickey Henderson

    Yeah, I know that disliking Iron Man isn't going to win any friends here at AICN, but the movie just didn't do anything for me. Maybe it's the feeling of being "in the groove" that bugged me--that formulaic feeling I've gotten from a bazillion comic book movies like it before. (Because depite what everyone's saying, Iron Man was by no means groundbreaking).<br> <br> Anyhow, yep, Johnny Maine was a freaking revelation yesterday. Perez continues to make my testicles recede into my abdomen.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    THE ADVANCED PUBLIC SCREENINGS WERE CANCELLED

    by Rufus

    So this guy can go suck a dick.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    LOST JARV

    by thebigtexas

    All I meant was that I haven't seen the movie, but from how it looks...it looks lame. I'll still see it, and I'll hope for the best. From what it sounds like though, you'll like the movie no matter what.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    Fuck off

    by Lost Jarv

    Last orgasm you had was when your mother was giving you your nightly spongebath. <p>Once again, seeing as you are being a willfully stubborn, infuriating pernickity little turd: <p>"Here is the quote fucker: ".....as it accidentally referenced the old Allen Quartermaine days (a crappy knockoff of Indy Movies incase you missed them) and this was very much similar in most respects." <p> I figured out what he meant.....but reading this makes it sound like he thought the Quatermaine character in general was a rip-off of Indy movies. Not RAIDERS-- he never mentioned Raiders, and he never mentioned Richard Chamberlain, in that quote you worthless fucking twat. I understand the Quatermain movies in the 80's were cashing in on Indy success. It didnt seem to me like the original poster did. SO FUCK OFF." <P>Not exactly grasping at straws, unlike Aliens= remake of Alien because Newt=Jones.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    ShogunMaster

    by UKfilmfan

    Stand by your convictions damn it...show yourself!Either put up or shut the fuck up with the hate.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Yeah, Rickey's with Jarv...

    by Rickey Henderson

    Iron Man was decent, but not as mindblowing ogasmic as everyone here at AICN made it out to be. Oh and, Rickey had SERIOUS issues with Iron Man's political message. Yes, it's just a summer blockbuster, but there's some serious racist & rah-rah american imperialism subtext going on in the movie. Stuff that people would be giving Michael Bay shit for if he tried it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    slow ass swing?

    by Bouncy X

    how can someone swing slowly? what, did they fast forward the swinging in the earlier movies or something? cuz he swung just as fast as a man should, its called gravity and all.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    I won't like it no matter what

    by Lost Jarv

    I am predisposed to like it, but if I don't then I'll admit I was wrong and bitch like a motherfucker. Especially because I'll have spent the equivalent of 13 pints of beer on seeing it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Indiana Jones 5

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Indy will be in his 70s for the 70s. Put on your boogie shoes and coke spoon necklace!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    So how many of you ROTTEN TOMATOES watchers...

    by Zeke25:17

    ...are gonna pop up here telling us what negative percent review the movie's at, as the Speed Racer haters are so eager to do?...Yep, that's what I thought. This thing could be at ZERO percent and people will plunk down 12 bucks to see it. Forgive me if I prefer seeing something relatively new and groundbreaking (or at least sidewalk-cracking).

  • May 8, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    Are people THAT upset with Lucas?

    by skycrapper

    I'm not saying this is a fake review but it's kind of suspicious when you end it with the raping of childhood remark. Sounds like someone with an agenda.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    The french score review

    by Lost Jarv

    and cheers rickey. I hoped I wasn't alone. <P>Part of me feels that it is the fact that I have no knowledge of Iron man and that is why I wasn't enthralled- if RDJ is note perfect Tony Stark then I wouldn't know it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    i went to a secret advanced screening of it

    by zom-bot.com

    held at skywalker ranch. just a select few cool people were allowed to see the final cut. me, comic book guy, and a blind, deaf 80 year old woman. we loved it. spoiler alert: it rocks. <P>however lucas was concerned that the purposeful cinematography might be percieved as 'slow' by the ridalin youth market, so he will be releasing a recut dvd version for the kiddies complete with a tribe of robotic transforming farting ewoks who speak ebonics and have a 15 minute hip hop dance off in the temple, which then explodes....merricks kid will dig it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    by CuervoJones

    My new hero.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Aliens, Go fuck yourselves dumb shits

    by fisheater

    Jesus fuckin christ, so glad my boxset only has space for the trilogy. Aliens magnetic bullshit, shove it up ur stupid asses you fukn rich boy dumb cuntry fucks. I dont even care about Star Wars. I do care about Indy movies. No wonder they were keeping the script so quiet with fukn aliens. What fukn classic old time 50's adventure movies has fukn alien shit in it. I know Indy 4, not bcoz Spielberg, who with all honesty has some semblence of sanity left, but dip shit George Lucas rapist mutha fuka thinks its a good idea. None of this news is good, of course what Hollywood sequel news is lately. Last Crusade, hmm, do u think the title was prophetic of I4 impending shitness. I do, FUCK EM ALL,

  • May 8, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    National Treasure 2:

    by captain_kirk

    The Lost City of Gold? HELLO? NICK CAGE FOUND IT OVER CHRISTMAS

  • May 8, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Cuervo Jones, you are right about writing and directing.

    by DerLanghaarige

    But a great director should be able to make a good or even great movie out of a bad script and Spielberg didn't since 15 years. Let's hope for Indy 4!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Dude_gimme_tabs IS RIGHT: people change

    by angelopoulos

    I'm sorry but Dude_gimme_tabs is absolutely right. This is a movie made for a different generation. It's a popcorn movie. Most of the people in here are wanna be film critics approaching mid-life (like myself) or new dumb punks who are too cool to watch anything with a heart. It's that whole "Transformers was shit" crowd- yet they are all the same little assholes that saw the movie 3 times and cheered when Optimus spoke. If you're too cool to like an american popcorn film, you are an idiot. These are different kinds of films than "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly". Yes, I agree, Raiders is one of the best movies ever made, and it's sequels have not lived up to that standard. They are just chances to watch characters we loved do their thing again. I'm not too proud to admit I liked Transformers as much as any of the Oscar contenders. I'll be at Indy with bells on.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    Danny-

    by Lost Jarv

    Wasn't Lord of The Rings and Kong WETA? <P>Say what you want about the films (especially the latter), but the effects in them were spectacular.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    A few things..

    by ShogunMaster

    For the record, I like the Indy movies in the order of release. Raiders was amazing, Temple dark but good, and Crusade was ok. Crystal isn't as good as Crusade. I went into this movie with hope but not high expectations. For the star wars prequils I thout 1 was ok and 2 was slightly better and I thought 3 was pretty decent (save for the 'Nooo' near the end). I didn't want to hate Crystal at all; no agenda, just wanted to see a good Indy movie. It's not there. I think it's funny that in the soundtrack section I got trashed for putting too many spoilers in the review and here I didn't put enough. Here is another one: Shia was raised by mom because Indy had already left (they link this with Connery's absence in Indy's childhood) and she married Williams (not the Ox character) hence Shia's last name. And for the guy who gets pissed off at my Quartermaine reference because the books came out before: I didn't compare those books to the Indy books; I'm comparing movies to movies dude. Again, I hope everyone likes this better than I did, but it just didn't work at all. Especially for an Indy movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    "That looks slow"

    by Darth-Mike

    Sorry to say but... Your son knows NO SHIT.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Was the score choppy?

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Like in the prequels.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Not too happy to read this

    by moviemaniac-7

    Would love a good Indy movie. With the talent involved, that should be possible. Right?

  • May 8, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Very fucking cool!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Indy rocks!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    Better than Temple of Doom?

    by tommy_

    Is it better or worse than Temple of Doom? That is my measuring stick. Love TOD, but it is definitely the weakest.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    so it's still george lucases fault

    by LarryTheCableGuy

    for picking the scripts. i'm having a bad morning already. great.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    once again

    by Lost Jarv

    as may be- but it doesn't look like it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    How long before this site posts

    by Samuel Fulmer

    the positive plant review?

  • May 8, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    I love how ShogunMaster...

    by That 70s Venom

    ... nitpicks this movie to death as if Spielberg and Lucas were attempting a Shakespearian masterpiece or some shit. ROFL. Dude, get a fuckin clue, would ya? Lucas and Spielberg just want their money. I'm going to pay to see this movie to see Harrison Ford back in action with the whip and the hat and to see some fuckin cheesy ass CGI and to see the Beef ham it up with Marion and to see sexy ass Cate Blanchett so I can get an erection and hide it with my popcorn bucket. You're analyzing this movie as if it's Oscar material. GIMME A BREAK, MAN. FUCK. After I see this movie I am going to come on here and prove you wrong on every point.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:48 a.m. CST

    I don't care what Shogun says

    by finky089

    I'm seeing Indy anyway. My expectations weren't high before and they aren't high now. Hopefully they just won't be COMPLETELY dashed when I do see it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:48 a.m. CST

    THIS MOVIE LOOKS LIKE A VIDEOGAME!!!

    by Johnno

    A videogame called 'Uncharted: Drake's Fortune' and numerous others! See? See? I can make baseless comparisons to games too! Name me your favourite movie and I'll find a suitable game and tell you that's what it looks like! That's the new way of describing movies now! By comparing them to games!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:48 a.m. CST

    It doesn't matter if it's good or bad...

    by OBSD

    here's what's gonna happen. It's gonna make a shitload of money. Lots of people are going to hate it, but the ones who love it will be much more vocal, and will shout down any legitimate complaint because if they just keep screaming that it was THE BEST ONE EVER, then it will magicly become the truth. See fan's blind adoration of The Phantom Menace for refrence.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    I always thought TEMPLE was the best.

    by DerLanghaarige

    RAIDERS took itself too serious IMO and CRUSADE was too funny. Raiders was a great mix of real, sometimes even scary adventure and light fun. (And I hate Jones Sr. more than Short Round.)

  • May 8, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    danny: per ebonic ewoks

    by zom-bot.com

    i'm still chuckling myself. that came out of nowhere.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    In fact,

    by OBSD

    it's already happening and the thing hasn't even been released yet.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Christ I look the biggest fabboy tit about this

    by Lost Jarv

    and I'm only cautiously optimistic. I just can't believe the nitpicking that is going on (especially from the likes of Diggers), and when this review was posted it has been a magnetic for every piece of TB detritus with a negative agenda to come on and scream "KNEW IT". Which is funny, because they haven't seen it yet.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    And as for you TOD haters...

    by That 70s Venom

    Temple of Doom was hardcore as fuck. I never could understand why there were so many TOD haters on here. Fuckin bullshit. I watched that movie 5 billion times when I was a kid, mainly because I had a gay little boy crush on Short Stop, but still... come on... dude fuckin rips dude's heart out while it's still beating and shows it to him while he's still alive. And the fuckin monkey brains scene... how can you hate that movie? You fuckin retarded chumps.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    ShogunMaster

    by decypher44

    Were the Close Encounters aliens in this as rumored? Was there a hint to another movie at the end, or was it a series FINALE? Were the whip'cracks as loud as in the trailers (way too loud compared to surrounding sounds)?

  • May 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    CINEMA IS DEAD!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Except for Iron Man! Woo hoo!!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Bad CGI work

    by finky089

    Both ILM and WETA can do incredible stuff. WHoever did Iron Man's armor certainly derserves some recognition as most of the time it wasn't glaringly obvious whether I was looking at a physical suit or a CGI version. <p> HOWEVER, whoever did the Hulk in both Ang Lee's version and this new one deserves SCORN because it still looks like crapola! (I think ILM may have done Hulk in Lee's version). It looks cartoonish and without any weight to it. Like a beefed up Shrek. Shameful.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    so ...shogunmaster

    by t40stunt

    where was it that you saw this screening i'm wondering ? still calling you out as a fake ass hater . just saying...

  • May 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    fabboy

    by Lost Jarv

    WTF? Fanboy, obviously. <P>Tit is clearly still applicable.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    Also, about Temple of Doom...

    by That 70s Venom

    ... THE FUCKING BRIDGE SCENE!!! WHERE THE FUCKIN CROCODILE DEVOURS THAT FUCKIN EVIL GUY. SOME OF THE BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS OF THE 80s IN THAT SCENE. YOU FUCKS!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    zom-bot

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that's some funny shit

  • May 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    And about the ILM hate:

    by DerLanghaarige

    They did some very bad work over the last 10 years (Like Spawn or the first Harry Potter), but if you think that they make just shit these days, you obviously never saw Pirates Of The Caribean 1-3!)

  • May 8, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    WHY IRON MAN WAS GREAT ...

    by BringingSexyBack

    Shia wasn't in it. <p> Disclaimer: I haven't seen Iron Man yet, just going along with the consensus.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    IF THIS MOVIE SUCKS

    by TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION

    i will personally fly out to skywalker ranch, sit down with George and Steven, and explain to them how they are about to receive TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Hey "Master"

    by indiebum

    Learn how to write.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    That 70s Venom

    by finky089

    You watched ToD "a billion times" but you call the character "Short Stop". <p> Way to solidfy your credibility there.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    Cant you see the truth here...

    by Darth-Mike

    Guys this site is also a business. They all want us posting 10 or 20 talkbacks. This reviewer knows no shit as does Merricks son. "The trailer looks slow" LOL! "Doom is better than Crusade" LMAO!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    The Reason I read the Talkbacks..

    by Herb West

    "......a tribe of robotic transforming farting ewoks who speak ebonics and have a 15 minute hip hop dance off in the temple, which then explodes...." Then all you need is some Jawas and E.T. to make the circle of raped childhoods complete.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    wouldn't trust this review..

    by Gabba-UK

    as far as could comfortably spit out a rat. Nearly all of it sounded like it was culled from what has been already been posted on the net, which didn't sound like the film he wanted and decided to shit on it. The only reviewers I trust on AICN are Quint, Capone, Moriarty and Herc. I enjoy reading Harrys but he lost all objectivity years ago. If just one of the other four I mentioned like it, there's a good chance I will. If all four don't like it then I'll panic.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    How can Dr.Jones Sr. be dead - he drank from the holy grail...

    by Romoehlio

    damnit... and thats why a fourth title AFTER the TLC simply doesnt make sense

  • May 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    yay TFD!

    by finky089

    TFD, you should a done that during the Prequels, goddamnit!

  • May 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    I'M WITH 70S VENOM ON THE TEMPLE OF DOOM LOVE

    by BringingSexyBack

    My favorite Indy by far. More action than Gotham's mother at Hunts Point on Friday night.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Why do people rank Temple of Doom above Crusade?

    by skycrapper

    I don't get it.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Romoehlio - because they took the grail beyond the Seal

    by finky089

    When Elsa took the Grail beyond the Seal, which caused the place to "cave in", it broke the enchantment. Thus, Jones Sr. no longer immortal.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Romoehlio

    by Lost Jarv

    I've got a feeling this has been covered ad nauseum, but- I think it is because the Grail only gives immortality if you and it stay in the temple.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    question...

    by Rickey Henderson

    Can someone explain this Danny Glover guy to me? Just curious what his deal is and why everyone seems to adore him so much. Because he seems like kind of a schizophrenic asshole to Rickey... A few days back, Rickey made a comment that he disagreed with and he went apeshit and vowed never to talk to Rickey again. Just wondering who this guy is...

  • May 8, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    one would assume they would welcome TFD

    by just pillow talk

    with open arms at the ranch.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Yay TFD

    by Lost Jarv

    we just need Queefer and 2true for a frightening violence trinity.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Short Stop, Short Round, Potatoes, Po-TAH-toes...

    by That 70s Venom

    ... all asians look the same anyway.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Doom is better than Crusade

    by Samuel Fulmer

    No need to elaborate.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Would Darth Vader be the Simon Cowell of the dance off?

    by skycrapper

    I'd pay to see that.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    SHORT ROUND AS H. W. BUSH

    by BringingSexyBack

    "Weed my rips! No more pawachoots!"

  • May 8, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Suspension bridge

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I love that sequence. Not for the crocodiles, but because cutting it in half seemed exactly like the thing Indy would do if trapped.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    That's it!

    by just pillow talk

    The true Axis of TB Violence: TFD, 2for2true, Queefer Bukkake.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    He has multiple personalities

    by Lost Jarv

    and fluctuates between coherent and reasonable and vaguey frightening. But he has just pwnd Diggers so I think the happy pants are on today.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Queefer and 2true

    by Lost Jarv

    go forth and spread pain and suffering then TFD wades in and cleans up with a dose of TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION. <P>Voila, no more shitheels.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    It's fascinating ...

    by Evil_Imp

    T o read just how quickly some of you were to accept everything that was written in that review as truth and to be sooo willfull to accept it as a shit movie based on ONE dubious review . It's obvious that this movie is up against far more than fair criticism , it is up against 20+ years of Nostalgia, which is the kiss of death for most movies and it is up against denial Cause Raiders , TOD , and Last Crusade ALL have some bad effects and some bad dialog and or acting moments, which is what gives them their Serial Charm . From What i have seen this movie looks like it will fit in nicely with the others and those who bitch about Shia or the Shortround comparison , What you expected Lucas and Spielberg to use a different Formula for their Proven Franchise? They didn't make the movie YOU had in your head? of course not , that is why many peoples minds were made up before they ever saw a finished shot. Nostalgia is a Bitch.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    But if I must

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Doom had some annoying moments, but it had a lot of unique stunts, and took the series into a different, darker, pulpier direction. Crusade's like your Grandpa. You love your Grandpa because he's your Grandpa, but you still hate the smell of him crapping his depends.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Temple Of Doom is great!

    by Hybrid16

    Whats the problem with Temple of Doom? Its not as good as Raiders true, but at times its better than Last Crusade so back off. As for this review, I don't believe it. I've been impressed with the trailers, more so with the TV spots over the last few weeks and it feels more like an Indy movie the more I see. Compared to films nowadays Indy may be slow but If it was 90 minutes of a CGI'd Ford fighting anyone and everyone with quick cuts and slow motion there would be uproar. It will follow a similiar template as the others, it will take its time to tell the audience about the Skulls and we will see good old fashioned action. And Indy is older so deal with it. Wait for the Mummy 3 if you want something faster. I'm by no means defending Indy 4 as a film because I haven't seen it, but I am defending the right to be positive about it and to wait until I see it before being negative based on one review.

  • May 8, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    The End of Indiana

    by JaPra

    As I watched the trailer before Iron Man this past weekend, there wasn't a sound from the audience. No excitement, no cheers, no momentum.<br>A resounding 'Thud.'<br><br> I firmly believe this is the death knell for both Spielberg & Lucas, two directors who were once great who have fallen into mediocrity while unable to even attempt a connection with the common man. <br><br> Indiana Jones was about set pieces and tension, not contrivances. Contrivances is exactly what appears to have become of the film. <br><br> Spielberg and Lucas made a film because they could, and not because they thought they should.

  • May 8, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Danny Glover & BringingSexyBack

    by That 70s Venom

    Fuck yes. Finally some people on the TB with some actual good taste in films. Don't worry about what these haters say about TOD. That movie will forever be as hardcore as Jenna Jameson and 3 big black dudes.

  • May 8, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Danny Glover, BringingSexyBack, and myself...

    by That 70s Venom

    ... we know the truth about TOD. We are the 3 wise men.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Raping Childhoods: Even The Austrians Are Getting In On It

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    My spies tell me the Bearded Ones were at the Gloved One's Neverland Estate recently gathering tips on seduction, penetration and ejaculation. One of my mole's at Skywalker Ranch also found a receipt on Lucas' desk for a jumbo order of condoms to be delivered on May 24th. In case you're wondering, he likes them ribbed. Lastly, it's rumored there's a velvet rope being installed outside Lucas' office with a sign that says, "The line starts here."

  • May 8, 2008, 11:01 a.m. CST

    i don't think dr. jones was going to be immortal anyway

    by zom-bot.com

    perhaps if you are near death it only brings you back to life. if you are healthy, you'd be immortal. a better question is why the knight was like 90 years old. would he take a sip, then go out for a 30 year piss and whore binge and age, then come back and drink more, repeat...etc? <P> sriously, if he drank from it and guarded it, shouldn't he still be young? or did he give up on it and want to die about 80 years back? what did he eat? why wasn't that room full of his poop? did he hang is ass off the invisible bridge? was it mad of glass or was it mental? so many questions

  • May 8, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    DeCypher44

    by ShogunMaster

    More Spoilers: they don't do anything definitive to end the series but they finish the Indy/Marion arc. And ya the alien looks like Close Encounters.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    Here's your freakin list

    by Frankenbastard

    Here, without even including the Star Wars films. (prequels and original series redux) I even like some of the films below. Minority Report Hulk Jurassic Park 2 and 3 Van Helsing The Day After Tomorrow Son of the Mask The Island Poseidon Eragon The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Can I stop now my coffee is getting cold? Evan Almighty Men in Black II Planet of the Apes Galaxy Quest Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull The Mummy 1 and 2 Look man, neither of us can win this argument since it all boils down to a matter of taste. (Even if your taste is wrong and very bad) If you want something to look soulless and animated you call ILM if you want it to look realistic and seem like a living breathing thing (sans Apatosaurus running on a cliff side) you call Wetta. The old school ILM FX guys were leaps and bounds over today’s FX artist given what they had to work with but the new blood…no. I’m going back to sculpting and drinking my coffee now.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    TOD rocks

    by UKfilmfan

    Raiders all round good film,crusade - total crap slap stick which made indy out as a comedy figure,and connery fucking spoiled it-the FX were dire - TOD had top action and great set pieces- bring on the lovin for TOD!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    so is BSB Leo Getz or you 70's venom?

    by just pillow talk

    Fuck, I like all 3 Indy films. Why do I have to put down one of the three to proclaim greater love for another one? I enjoy all three.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    ILM

    by skimn

    Way to go Dickblood defending Industrial....I will go to my grave stating that Davy Jones of the Pirates sequels is one of, if not the best example of CGI characterization of the past ten years. ILM pioneered this field, everyong else is standing in their shadow.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Danny...

    by Rickey Henderson

    It was an argument concerning TDK being realistic and in the end, we pretty much agreed. But yes, Rickey can get a little prickish. Rickey's apologies. Good to see you've broken your vow of silence.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    ShogunMaster, give it a rest

    by TheLastCleric

    The fact that you mentioned the Nooo! from ROTS illustrates what a pedantic little "critic" you really are. How many great action scenes, culminating in that nasty, balls-to-the-walls duel, did Sith contain and you bring up 5 seconds of dialogue that has been completely blown out of proportion by some geeks online? You're a nitpicky little prick out to piss on as many parades as you can. That's assuming of course you've seen the film and interestingly enough, there has been some convincing evidence offered up by talk-backers to suggest otherwise. And please don't patronize us with your "I hope you like it better than me" bit because that's bullshit. If you did actually get a chance to see this film early there was no fucking way you were supposed to post a review yet but you did regardless because you wanted to fuck with people's perception of this film. You're a tool for writing this review and Merrick's an even bigger douche for posting an unsubstantiated collection of muddled words. Here's a thought sport: hit the spell-check next time and maybe take a basic grammar lesson.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    It's funny how I am left out of the club of TOD lovers.

    by DerLanghaarige

    So I say it again! TEMPLE OF DOOM IS MY FAVOURITE INDY!!! :)

  • May 8, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Congrats AICN, YOU'VE JUST BEEN PUNK'D

    by moto

    Proof that most TBers eat up any negative thing that comes there way, yet if there is a positive review they scream PLANT. You've just been punk'd AICN. A screening did take place, but not one open to the public or to critics.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    JaPra, the thing you have to realize is...

    by That 70s Venom

    ... the general audiences that you share a movie with (along with the trailers before the movie) are fucking retarded as a donkey's asshole. They wouldn't know a good movie or a good trailer if it came up and fucked them in the vagina.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Node is spot on

    by Lost Jarv

    Iron Man is good. But manage your expectations. It isn't the second coming.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    and JaPra... as proof of this...

    by That 70s Venom

    when I saw the THERE WILL BE BLOOD trailer in a fully packed theatre, it didn't SHIT for reactions either, but that movie ROCKED THE MOTHER FUCKING HOUSE. DANIEL DAY LEWIS CAN HAVE SEX WITH MY ASS IF HE WANTS TO.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    ANTI-PLANT...So Speilberg is gonna fuck us over - don't think so

    by HarryBlackPotter

    What a CUNT this so-called reviewer is. Really. What an ABSOLUTE CUNT. Got news for you pal, I'm gonna love the hell of of this movie and so is the rest of the world, so get FUCKED!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Maybe it's not too late to get Jonah Hill...

    by Herb West

    as Suburb Shia's wacky sidekick in this flick. Come on, sow-boy gotta eat!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    LastCleric

    by Lost Jarv

    I thought he was wrong because all of Sith was shit and not just the NOOOOOOO! (not taking away from the shitness of that), but it is a bit nitpickey. And I'm automatically suspicious of someone that liked AOTC.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    "Snake as a rope"

    by KnightShift

    Might that be the new AICN "buzz phrase" like "has a beer and cheets...", "flames on Optimus", "Kurt Russell was laughing" etc.?

  • May 8, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    If ShowgunMaster Didin't Like It, This Can't be Good

    by A-COD

    Who is ShogunMaster again?

  • May 8, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    DerLanghaarige, fuck yes you are in the club homie

    by That 70s Venom

    See, now the TOD lovers are crawling out of the woodwork. God damn I love that fuckin movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    BSB is absolutely Leo Getz

    by Lost Jarv

    a perfect fit.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Temple of Doom...

    by Frankenbastard

    was so bad Spielberg and Lucas took out an apology in Variaty magazine.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Merrick, don't bother seeing the movie yourself

    by MattmanReturns

    You're already pre-determined to hate it. And one *suspect* review has confirmed it for you.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Aykroyd's greatest role

    by IronSkillet

    was in ToD. I hear he comes back to usher Indy and Co. onto a plane with a British accent, and Indy refuses. Marion asks, "Are you sure about this?" to which Indy replies with a wry grin, "Pretty sure." Whereupon the plane immediately crashes into a mountain ...

  • May 8, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Harryblackpotter

    by UKfilmfan

    lovin the diss..totally agree

  • May 8, 2008, 11:08 a.m. CST

    Frankenbastard, get over your own bullshit

    by TheLastCleric

    You'd have to be blind not to notice that seams are generally more obvious in Weta's FX and you'd have to be equally blind to think Davy Jones isn't the apex of CGI characters. Like it or not, Weta owes it's soul to ILM, just like every other FX house on the planet.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    by Evil_Imp

    It's almost like the Internet Lemmings are afraid they actually liked a Spielberg or god forbid Lucas production because it has become so fashionable to hate on them. Just another example of the follow the crowd , highschool , afraid of having your own opinion or convictions mentality. The fear of standing apart from the Herd is too great for some people.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Considering Shogun Masters

    by digginjim

    ..calm response to the ranting and raving on this and the other TB... maybe he's telling the truth.. and has his own opinion? We'll all make a judgement when we see it but to be honest I think a combination of my age, the beards age and the fact it ain't the 80's anymore will make the mugging and slightly dodgy old school thrills (and bad cgi) seem... well, dated. But.. I do agree with some posts that hell, so long as Indy slugs a few guys and cracks the whip I'm there and I'm sure I'll enjoy the hell out of it - can't say the same for my girlfriend though. She'll probably hate it. Oh yes, and ToD Rocks..

  • May 8, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Variety even...

    by Frankenbastard

    Raiders is great, period.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Well, well

    by Cobbio

    Thanks for the review, ShogunMaster. I was underwhelmed by the trailers, to be honest, but was hoping for a solid Indy film. Oh well. It's often the case that a many-years-later addition to a franchise doesn't stack up to the originals. Time passes and the spark that made the originals great just fades.<p> It'll be fun to see Indy doing his thing again, I guess. But the gratingly obvious CG (as opposed to the flawlessly integrated CG of "Iron Man"), as well as the trying-too-hard feel of the film leaves me shaking my head. This venture feels like a calculated money grab. Spielberg has done some wonderful work in his time, but this will likely be counted among his least-memorable failures.<p> I'm sure it'll rake at the box office, though. Which is the only measure Lucas cares about anymore, so at least he'll be happy.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Yea...

    by Frankenbastard

    The apex that is Davey Jones that was stolen from Wettas motion capture software, please.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    I Had A Dream About Cate Blanchett

    by That 70s Venom

    She let me put my penis in her.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    pretty much what I felt

    by Kloipy

    I've been so up and down on this movie that it feels like intercource

  • May 8, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Temple of Doom...

    by Hybrid16

    ...rocks. Great soundtrack, opening is only bettered by Raiders, mine cart chase beats anything in Crusade, the bridge sequence, Shortround (there I said it), Indy and Shortrounds escape from the spike room...nuff said. I do agree that Willie Scott is annoying, but shes also hot which helps.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    no cheer for it

    by Lost Jarv

    but this is London. There was a rush of general chat about it in the cinema during the Hancock trailer that followed though. Unlike Speed Racer, when someone said slightly too loudly "that looks fucking terrible", and it wasn't me. I just thought it.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Speaking of Davey...

    by Frankenbastard

    If you read my earlier post you'd see i gave props to Pirates so i'm not getting over shit youngster.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    The cheer for Indy trailer VS. TDK trailer....

    by Evil_Imp

    "was about equal here in L.A., at The Dome last friday." Exactly . Same where I live and the thing I noticed even more than that was not many people even cheer openly anymore. It's far to trendy to be cynical and Jaded thanks to the Internet . Remember when we used to make up our own minds? aaah those were the days.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    by Frankenbastard

    "this is just personal" Ok that post cracked me up.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Cate Blanchett NAKED

    by That 70s Venom

    I kno, right??

  • May 8, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    cheering for trailer

    by zom-bot.com

    yeah i don't know i never heard crickets or a thud after the indy trailer either. but maybe because in my town everyone doesn't quite hate everything about their lives yet. <P>if it does suck, it's done, it's made. you can choose to mentally remove it from your holy trilogy if you want, or deal with it that these are movies and not real freinds you grew up with.<P> that's probably most of our problems, guys, we grew up with movies and toys instead of relationships. you know i'm right.then we get mad at a movie if it 'betrays us'.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:14 a.m. CST

    Kloipy!

    by Lost Jarv

    How goes it?

  • May 8, 2008, 11:15 a.m. CST

    But Iron Man was the second coming

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in my pants

  • May 8, 2008, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Hey Jarv! Hey Abom!

    by Kloipy

    It goes great guys! Just got some awesome ultrasound pictures of the baby yesterday, got to see the spine forming

  • May 8, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST

    IronSkillet - LOL

    by finky089

    that kind of "CALLBACK" would be perfect in Indy IV....right, Diggity?

  • May 8, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST

    How the fuck does he become a colonel?

    by Lashlarue

    He literally would have to be in the army since he was 18.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Iron Man was FUCKING AMAZING

    by That 70s Venom

    I can't wait til the Avengers movie

  • May 8, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST

    nice memories of TOD

    by UKfilmfan

    Seeing TOD and the whole cinema cheering when Indy beat on mola Ram after Shorty burned him out of the trance.Adds to the experience of the film...

  • May 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Jarv, I hope the Hancock chatter was mostly like:

    by finky089

    "What the fuck's that about? Another American prick we're supposed to 'like'?" <p> That movie looks ridiculously stupid.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    It isn't the internet that has made people cynical

    by Lost Jarv

    The release process with months of hype has. Anyway, the trailer means nothing- If it is bad it is down to bad marketing, and if it is good it is unreliable- how many times has everyone been duped by a trailer? <P>I know I have. <P>On a different not, I don't know if this happens in America, but before Iron Man I had to sit through 35 minutes of fucking Adverts. This is out of order, especially at £10 a ticket. <P>Sorry, not relevant, but I just wanted to get it off my chest.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    p.s. blanchett can spalko me anytime

    by zom-bot.com

    what the hell man. i never gave two craps about her as a scrawny fairheaded broad. but slap black bangs on her and a uniform.... <P> man i'm screwed up.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    and there's Finky! just need Pillow back in here

    by Kloipy

  • May 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    WOW

    by t40stunt

    never seen anyone write a negative review and then get so viciously ass fucked by the other tb'ers for it . i bet shogunmaster didn't quite expect that . so come on shogun ...i'm still calling you out here . where did you see it in advanced cause from what i understand the fine folks that helped make this flick aren't getting a screening because they want to keep this thing a secret .you must be a big wig or.... a fucking lying douch . i don't have to give you my vote on what one i'm leaning towards . anything to say ?

  • May 8, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    That Melting Face

    by Darth-Mike

    GUYS... That Melting face in Raiders SUCKED, that water flood on the mine in Doom SUCKED, that airplane chase in Crusade SUCKED... but guess what, WE ALL LOVED IT and WATCHED THEM A MILLION TIMES so dont come rant about fake cgi??? CMON! You guys are all hypocrites.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:18 a.m. CST

    This is what's wrong with AICN...

    by moto

    They post a headliner review from an unconfirmed source based on a hunch that a screening did happen. THAT is exactly what is wrong with AICN. Do you honestly think that Paramount, Spielberg, and Lucas would screen the movie to the public after so much talk about secrecy and wanting to avoid spoilers escaping?

  • May 8, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    Count me as a TOD lover

    by decypher44

    That movie, for me, is greater than Crusade.

  • LucasArts Penis Enlargemnt

  • May 8, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    no- a few people were talking about Indy being back

    by Lost Jarv

    and there were a few muted groans. <p>Awfully, some submorons kept laughing and I heard a fat family behind me say "We have to see that". <P>If 2true had been there then there would have been blood, oh yes, there would have been blood. But I don't carry a pencil to the cinema. <P>The worst reaction was Speed Racer- one kid started crying and there were snorts of disdain and negative comments- "who would pay to see this shit" was one repeated to my left and right.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Lashlarue

    by MattmanReturns

    He was in the army BEFORE he was 18 (Young Indiana Jones Chronicles). It was Belgium army though... so I dunno if that counts.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    Who the fuck would even read that review!!!?!!

    by TheMcflyFarm

    Any Indy fan wouldn't go near it for fear of spoilers. Personally, I don't think this guy even saw the movie. As for the introduction to this review, what are you a fucking 12 year old freckle-faced four eyed retarded geek? Reports of no reaction from the trailer? You actually listen to Dark Knight fanboy nonsense, or are you just one yourself? Who the fuck "reacts" during a fucking trailer, not to mention one that anyone who was excited for the movie had already seen it online countless times. As for Lucas' comments, you must be a mental moron for taking that in any way other than telling it like it is with every single movie on the planet.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    THIS REVIEW IS BAD JOURNALISM

    by g-ride9000

    It seems both uninformed and one sided. I doesn't matter if it is real or not. The review hold no water, especially considering the context. <p>1. This reviewers lack bias and disapproval of character development is a matter of individual taste. <p>2. The audience was skeptical of the Ironman trailer, but trust of lucasfilm has been botched. i was happy to see everyone talking to their neighbors about the new indy. <p>3. the special effects will definitely be better than the optical effects of the first three.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    SOMETHING DOESN'T ADD UP HERE

    by Ray Gamma

    This reviewer says "Well, sadly the hopes of seeing Abner Ravenwood were unfounded." </P> <P> Well, how do you explain John Hurt's brief appearance in the latest trailer? He is clearly there, with his long straggly hair and unshaven face.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Lucas involved with Penis enlargement?

    by Lost Jarv

    there's going to be a lot of disappointed nerds out there: <P>"But George, you promised that this would be the be all and end all" <P>"Don't worry, I put 10% of the penis into the first enlargement, 30% into the second and the rest in the third"

  • May 8, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Darth-Mike

    by Frankenbastard

    Good point man and nothing will stop me from taking my kid to see the new film. I actually like the melting face.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    ShogunMaster takes it like a man......

    by UKfilmfan

    .....in the butt from Richard Chamberlain

  • May 8, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS

    by MattmanReturns

    Yeah the cheer was equal on TDK and Indy 4 at my theater too. This was at Irvine Spectrum in Orange County, if location has anything to do with it. It was a fairly diverse crowd.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Yeah, jarv, then people will complain

    by Kloipy

    about the length being a racist stereotype

  • May 8, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    "some crash in some town call Roswell

    by IronSkillet

    and some skull from some pyramid in some continent call South America shown on some thing call map."

  • May 8, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    "Cynical People" Is Not A New Concept, Guys.

    by That 70s Venom

    There have been cynics since the beginning of fucking time. Don't give me this horse shit about how there are more cynics these days. It all comes down to the demographics that are in the theatre with you. For example, if you go and see these trailers at 2 in the afternoon then you might not see a hardcore reaction to Indy and TDK, but if you go to the theatre at like a 10:00 pm showing when all the cool kids are there you will get a positive reaction to this shit. It's simple demographics.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    SHOGUN! You are FULL of SHIT

    by jones1899

    EVERYTHING you wrote in your review can be seen in the trading cards, pics, books etc that have been released already in various stores across the country and online. Nice try, but you're obviously just starved for attention. Pathetic.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    or that it looks to fake

    by Lost Jarv

    and the enlargement doesn't interact properly with real environments

  • May 8, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Holy shit

    by TheMcflyFarm

    After actually skimming the review, it is more obvious than ever that this guy didn't see the movie and is just a hater. The way he makes fun of Shia for no reason, etc. He sounds no different than any of the trolls on here or imdb.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    SHOGUN! You are FULL of SHIT

    by jones1899

    EVERYTHING you wrote in your review can be seen in the trading cards, pics, books etc that have been released already in various stores across the country and online. Nice try, but you're obviously just starved for attention. Pathetic.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Kloipy! Holy SHIT! Welcome back...

    by finky089

    Did you finally show your office the way of the pencil and they let you ahve internet connectivity back? <p> Fucking A it's good to see you back here.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    You guys are nuts

    by Frankenbastard

    "Okie Dokie Dr Jone" Setting the race back a few hundred years, good job. I wanted to eat chilled Shortround brains after seeing that film. Indy 2 and Superman 2 were horrid.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    MattmanReturns - you were at the Spectrum?

    by finky089

    I watch almost all my flicks there, dude. Funny to see somebody so close to my neighborhood for once on here.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by TheLastCleric

    Sith was shit because...you say so? I was impressed with the entire film save for some wooden acting that is also present in the original trilogy. That's cool if it didn't work for you but not everyone shares your opinion. It's actually my favorite of all the SW films, Empire included.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    "It's simple demographics".by That 70s Venom

    by Evil_Imp

    It's also Cynicism . People just don't cheer out loud for something they love like they used to. I can't remember the last time i Heard applause AFTER a movie. when i was a Kid i heard that all the time. Time HAVE changed and people are more desensitized and CYNICAL

  • May 8, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Ignore this review

    by JADSTERSDAD

    Chances are, it's fake. Even if not, I've seen some three star reviews on Empireonline for IRON MAN for gods sake! Even a TWO! No way that movie is lower than 4 star. I say, see it and judge.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    Frankenbastard

    by Darth-Mike

    I love the melting face although It SUCKED as a visual effect. And this perfectly explains my point. Guys, dont come bash this movie (which you having seen yet) as if the other ones were perfect. You idiots will go to the theater 10 times to see this. HAH!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    "It's actually my favorite of all the SW films, Empire included.

    by Lost Jarv

    Holy fucking shit. That is a sentence I'd never, ever thought I'd see. <P>I did start that sentence with "I thought" which usually indicates my opinion. I don't want to argue this again, as it never goes anywhere. So back to Indy.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Best movie reaction I ever heard - Stomp The Yard

    by finky089

    The trailer for Stomp the Yard played in front of something I saw in late '06 or early '07 to a faily un-diverse crowd of white suburbanites (I wasn't at the Spectrum this time, Mattman). A typical white, suburban Dad and his 7yr old boy sat down behind us before the house lights went down and after the Stomp the Yard trailer the theater was silent except behind me I heard "Oh SNAP. We gotta see that." I half-turned just to make sure it came from where I thought it came from. Then my fiance and I cracked up. I feel bad for that guy's kid.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    The more I look at this review

    by Ray Gamma

    The more I think this is a fake review. But I suspect it's a fake review that has actually been put out by Lucasfilm themselves... The whole thing seems to be trying to derail expectations, especially the Abner Ravenwood bit. Because John Hurt is most definitely playing Abner Ravenwood. Just like how they named Mutt "Mutt Williams", it's a decision based on the advance toy-shop figures, they obviously don't want to have kids going in to Toys'R'Us and seeing "Mutt Jones" written on the toys.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Thanks Finky! I'm only on lunch unfortunatly

    by Kloipy

    the only chance I get anymore it seems

  • May 8, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Evil Imp

    by That 70s Venom

    Not that I entirely disagree with you... perhaps there is some truth to the internet's dissemination of fucking everything is responsible for some of that, but just for the record... the last movie I saw where people cheered after was Transformers, and that was less than a year ago.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Spectrum is a mile from my work

    by decypher44

    Pretty good place to see a movie. Especially if you have dinner and drinks at Cheesecake or PF Chang's before.. <br> <br> BTW, I saw Iron Man in Brea, CA. Good reaction to TDK trailer. Muted reaction to Indy, and I was expecting atleast a few cheers.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST

    Danny

    by Lost Jarv

    Bridget Jones 1 sucks. The book was crap, but at least had some satire in it. It certainly wasn't the saccharine rom com that it got turned into. <P>Bridget Jones 2 is only to be watched by groups of women. It is contraindicated for anyone with a Y chromosome.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    DickBlood - it's an Edwards

    by finky089

    It's pretty decent. I mostly go for the IMAX screen. Kinda sucks nothing great this summer will be IMAX.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    I REST MY CASE

    by Hooded Justice

    My decision not to see this movie has been right on the money. I've said from the start that this movie would stink to high heaven. Oh how the Lucas apologists will gnash their teeth and tear their clothes. Too bad. You chose the wrong side, guys - and you've only yourselves to blame: the truth was obvious right from the start. This abberation should never have seen the light of day.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    finky089

    by MattmanReturns

    Fellow OC? Yep, that's where I usually go for all the big movies. Pretty nice theater (apart from those crappy, non-stadium theaters in the back).

  • May 8, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Revenge Of The Sith > Empire Strikes Back

    by That 70s Venom

    Sorry but it is true. The last 20 minutes of Episode 3 are orgasmic.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Fuck me.

    by Lost Jarv

    I'm astounded.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Well im not surprised

    by mattforce7

    At ALL, ill see it, maybe in theaters, i need to spend money wisely...but TDK will for sure own the shit out of this, face it, NOlan is a better screen writer than these guys now

  • May 8, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    the best star wars in the part where Luke finds

    by Kloipy

    uncle owen and aunt beru dead. the rest is poop on a stick

  • May 8, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Hooded Justice

    by Lost Jarv

    You, sir, are a smug cunt. There is nothing less attractive than "I told you so", (which is why the likes of diggers are annoying me). Especially, when you DON'T KNOW because you haven't fucking seen it and there is one review that is, at best, overly nitpicky and at worst highly dubious.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    THE DUCK KNIGHT WILL BE ON IMAX

    by BringingSexyBack

    ((((( QUACK QUACK!!! )))))

  • May 8, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    George Lucas Goes Broke!

    by chilledpills

    I JUST KNEEEEWWWW THIS WOULD HAPPEN! INDY IS GONNA SUCK GUYS AND THAT'S A FACT. SORRY BUT I HAVE NO MORE HOPE FOR THIS MOVIE. IN FACT MAJOR PLOTLINES WERE RELEASED ON SEVERAL WEBSITES EVEN BEFORE THIS REVIEW. THE STORY IS JUST PLAIN SILLY. I HOPE THE CLONE WARS MOVIE BOMBS AT THE BOX OFFICE! LUCAS SHOULD GET HIS HEAD OUTTA HIS ASS. HOW ABOUT A SEQUEL TO HOWARD THE DUCK? I'M SURE THE YES-MANS AROUND HIM WOULD APPROVE ITS GONNA ROCK!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    I love all 3 prequels but WHAT?

    by beastie

    I love them all, but not a single one of them is better than a single one of the originals --- in my opinion.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    ....70s venom...

    by mattforce7

    sure the last20 minutes of ROTS are pretty good, john williams score should have been nominated imo, but better then Empire Strikes back?! everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    I'm off.

    by Lost Jarv

    keep the faith people.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Darth-Mike - the melting face effect was bad? what?

    by finky089

    you can't judge that by considering what it MIGHT have looked like if done today by top-notch CGI men (should that have been 'top. men.'?) <p> It was done then and not re-made now, so you can't fairly make that kind of leap, if that's what you were insinuating. If you were just saying the effect wasn't great, period, the I heartily disagree. It looks pretty nasty to me and certainly gave me cause to pause when I saw it as a kid. Even people that saw the film as adults recognize the effect was well done, not just for its time, but in general.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Kloipy...

    by That 70s Venom

    ... I thought you were gonna say when Luke finds Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru in bed having sex.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Not made for the Gen-Y brats.

    by ZeroCorpse

    You guys were too young to be in the target market for Indy when it was out originally. I get the feeling the new movie is for all us fans who were there in the theaters to see "Raiders of the Lost Arc" when it debuted, and not for you Ritalin-popping, Attention Deficit Disorder kiddies. Go watch Speeeeeed Racer, kids. Leave the old man to the "old men" who can relate.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    I'd like a sequel to Howard the Duck

    by Lost Jarv

    Don't be dissing the duck, clagnut.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Ray Gamma

    by finky089

    no Abner. See track 15 on the Score for a clue. seriously

  • May 8, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Still waiting to see it

    by stalfos

    Like many of you have said, I'm reserving judgment for the midnight screening. Oh, and I hate Merrick. I always feel like he's subtly insulting everything and everyone on this site. Especially how he likes to let us know his 14-year-old son appears to have better tastes than anyone on the planet.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    mattforce7

    by Darth-Mike

    LMAO!!! Nolan a better screenwriter than David Koepp??? you know no shit hah hah!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    DickBlood - best ToD line has to be

    by finky089

    "Nice try, Lao Che!"

  • May 8, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    Best ToD line pt 2

    by finky089

    OR <p> "Mola Ram, prepare to meet Kali...in HELL."

  • May 8, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    I'm gone as well my friends

    by Kloipy

    take it easy. Don't watch too much of the Aunt Beru bukakke video, it's too much for little Luke to take

  • May 8, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    IT IS CONFIRMED!

    by chilledpills

    lucas is embarking to ressurrect howard the duck by doing a sequel. its called Howard The Dick!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Why Indy Vs. Batman?

    by beastie

    They are not competing. They are not the same style of movie and being released 2 months apart. One is not going to take away from the other - financially or otherwise. One is not going to PWN the other. Now, Batman Vs. Hellboy is a competition. I like both, and will see both.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Ray Gamma

    by ShogunMaster

    Hurt is Ox; not Ravenwood. He is possesed by a dead conquistador that died trying to return the crystal skull to it's pyramid. For you haters here, I'm sorry if you're pissed off with the review (which was written after a drink or two so the fact that you can read it at all is awesome), I'm sorry but there isn't much good stuff here. Sure they do some stuff that sounds like it could work on paper, but the execution of it fails. Again, I prefer Raiders to Doom, Doom to Crusade, and Crusade to Crystal. Crusade had characters that worked. This didn't. Again, I hope you like it, but if you agree that Raiders and Doom were the better of the series, then we have similar tastes and you won't like this new one either. It is the Spiderman 3 of the series.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    well dick bl00d

    by mattforce7

    i hardly partake in these forums and never rant about TDK, ill only say it once or twice if i feel the need. Sure right out of a cartoon special, but u know what, it has meaning. "In MY POINT OF VIEW, THE JEDI ARE EVIL!!" WA-Fucking-WA, GL sucks, and the Dark Knight "Bullshit" WILL be better than this, but im going into it without hyping it up much, thats what i did for BB, and it pleased

  • May 8, 2008, 11:42 a.m. CST

    Howard the Duck 2: Fowl Play

    by Kloipy

    This duck is fucked

  • May 8, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST

    The Beef is a curse on movies!

    by fiester

    As soon as I saw they added him, I lost all hope for a decent Indy flick. Witness the prophecy, see it's fulfillment this summer!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Node32774 Ackroyd is the guy that shows Indy to

    by finky089

    Lao Che's plane when they get to the airport after the car chase through Shanghai. <p> Don't remember the exact story behind that, but I always found it a funny coincidence that Ackroyd had that cameo as well as a cameo at the end of Twilight Zone, which SS directed part of, too.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST

    TOD

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    Funnily enough I saw Temple Of Doom first as a kid and was underwhelmed by Raiders when I saw it second. I still have vivid memories of the banquet with the snakes and eyeballs and monekybrains and the torn out heart bit. Oh and who could forget the creepy crawly room? From a tension point of view the Ark is a better McGuffin, but as a child I don't think God and Nazis were high on my list of interests. Shockingly.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:44 a.m. CST

    beastie and mattforce7

    by That 70s Venom

    Unlike a lot of Star Wars fans, I don't have a bias against the prequel trilogy. I look at each film and see something I like. It just so happens, I like more in Episode 3 than the others. Ian McDiarmid was chillingly evil and should've been nominated for best actor Oscar. John Williams should've won for best score. Ewan McGregor should've been at least nominated for best supporting actor. the movie should've at least been nominated for best picture, but I don't necessarily think it should've won. Empire Strikes Back is a great film and I love it, but Episode 3 was much darker and more epic.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Node32774! Don't cross the Lao Che Air Freight!

    by IronSkillet

    In it? Aykroyd MADE ToD! Not only that, but it's currently credit #69 in his IMDB profile.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Ah DAvid Koepp

    by mattforce7

    i love the guy, i shouldn't have referenced him, but um, I am talking about how lazy this indy movie seemed, and for some reason i thought he had something to do with ROTS.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    The Star Wars Prequels

    by Dogsoldier77

    I'm going to tread lightly here, because we're all in constant danger of "raping childhoods," but if you really think about it critically and forget how important the first trilogy was to you when you were a kid and how you grew up w/ it and all that - frankly there isn't a huge quality gap between the two trilogies. Both have extremely wooden acting almost across the board, frequently ludicrous dialogue, and pacing issues the size of Harry Knowles' ass. The prequels are every bit as much fun, if not more fun, than the original trilogy. It boggles my mind that for all the Jar Jar hate, people give Mark Hamill's sub-retarded performance a free pass. The first films were campy fun, as were the followups. Lucas didn't fuck up... you grew up. Ask 8 year olds what they think of your precious old trilogy and they may vomit all over your Chuck Taylors. As for the new ones, they eat that shit up. That said, this Indy news is troubling because the Indies were movies that were ACTUALLY GOOD as films and not just escapist fare. Lucas is doing the same schtick he's been doing since the 70's: it's Spielberg who's lost his mojo.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    MattmanReturns - yeah, those "little ones suck

    by finky089

    It's why I can't see anythign that has been out for a while or isn't a "big" movie there. Actually haven't been to the movies much lately (save Iron Man) and was hoping to head back to the IMAX screen there this summer for something, but with no IM, TDK, Indy, or even Prince Crapian hitting IMAX, I dunno when I'll get back there. May see TDK there anyway, though. I hit up SPectrum for "lunchtime movies" occassionally with coworkers since I work so close to it.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    I'm saddened...

    by Rando Calrisian

    Ready for the longest TB of the day??? <br> <br> I'm a bit saddened by the state of movie fandom here. I'm saddened that there seems to be such hatred among younger film fans towards the film-makers from the recent past that changed the way we see films today. <br> <br> Films that were so exciting in the early 80’s are "slow" today. When Raiders of the Lost Ark came out in 1981, it was edge of your seat, fast paced, and exciting. But by today's ADD standards, it is a "slow" film. Spielberg is partly to blame. The tone and texture of Transformers has destroyed the audiences' ability to enjoy action films like Indiana Jones. Michael Bay, and similar film-makers were born from the style of Spielberg and Lucas, but like de-sensitizing, there is no going back. Once the audience expects something, you can’t go back. <br> <br> The action in the new Indy movie looks to be exactly like Indy from the old days. It is sad that people like Merrick, who has been unabashedly against everything to do with this film from the beginning, just don't seem to get it. Indiana Jones is supposed to be movie serial popcorn munching un-realistic entertainment. <br> <br> Apparently, I am an old-fart. I come from an earlier time when not everyone had a movie theater in their home (I’m guilty of that myself). There wasn’t a 20 screen theater just down the road. When you went to a summer blockbuster, you hadn’t already seen 10 different TV clips and read the script online, or seen production diaries that show every single bit of detail. When Raiders opened on just over 1000 screens in 1981, you had to wait in line for possibly half a day to see it – and people did – then they came out and got back at the end of the line to see it again. We hadn’t seen anything like it, and it hadn’t been spoiled for us by spoiled little bitches. Today, there is absolutely no way that I wouldn’t know Darth Vader was Luke’s father 2 months before ESB came out (I’m sorry if I spoiled that one for you). Since we get the movies on DVD 4 months later, there is no real reason for many people to go to a cinema event. <br> <br> I love AICN for the talkbacks, yet I hate it for the same reason. So many of these threads aren’t about film discussion, they are about people complaining that they have grown up, and pointing out to people that what they like sucks because it isn’t what is “cool” anymore. Many of you trash Harry because he gives so many movies great reviews. At least Harry LOVES movies. He has studied film, and knows film history. I know when I read something Harry writes that he sees it in a perspective of film history. Sure we all have movies that we love at the time and later realize… “hmmm, that wasn’t as good as I remember it…” I swear a lot of you go to movies wanting to dislike them, so you can come here and tell everyone “it sucks,” - tell us all the ending and spoil our enjoyment of the movie for ourselves. <br> <br> The thing is, as a few people above have pointed out above, the audience for Star Wars and Indiana Jones has just grown up. Many of you are just sad, bitter & jaded and just can't enjoy these movies like you did when you were 10 years old. But maybe, just maybe if you take your children to see Indiana Jones in a packed theater, they will have the kind of experience you did when you were 10. Maybe. <br> <br> For all the Prequel Pain that is spewed out here, if you ask 10 year old kids who watched the prequels, they love them – just as much as you loved “your” Star Wars. Now, eventually, their parents disdain for them probably will rub off on them. Soon, they will become just as bitter and jaded as their parents. Merrick… <br> <br> It just saddens me that the state of Film Discussion these days is about spoiling a movie for others, pointing out the flaws and nitpicking at little things instead of celebrating the art of film making. <br> <br> Lucas is right; there is nothing he can do that will please the expectations regarding Star Wars and Indiana Jones because we hold them in some kind of rose colored dream state. Never mind the fact that every single interview he did after Return of the Jedi and Last Crusade included the question “When is there going to be another…?” Lucas has given us exactly what we have asked for. The fact that they weren’t what we thought we wanted has caused a very sad rift in fandom. The man changed the way we view movies, and we own him the respect he deserves. He’s still trying to entertain us. Do you think he hasn’t read the things that you all write about him “raping” their childhood? Give him a break – You Grew UP!! <br> <br> We all asked Lucas and Spielberg for these films, and when they deliver something that wasn’t up to our expectations; we destroy the memory of the people who helped make our childhood so exciting and memorable. That is sad. <br> <br> I say Thank You to Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. Thank You to Harrison Ford for delivering us one more Indiana Jones event. I will be there opening night, and even if it is more like Last Crusade and not enough like whatever I’ve had in my mind for 20 years, Thank you for trying to bring back the magic and the feelings I had when I went to the cinema when I was 10 years old. <br> <br> I for one loved Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade – it was a damn fun movie, and if Indy 4 delivers a tone like that, I’ll be happy. If you are so bitter that only a film of Raiders magnitude will satisfy your $10, I feel for you, but not even a bad movie will lessen the feelings I have for Raiders of the Lost Ark and the character of Indiana Jones. <br> <br> …and if you read all of that, you are nuts, thanks for letting me vent. Feel free to call me a scum sucking gutter slug, or some other derogatory less imaginative talkbacker BS below…

  • May 8, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    The reason TOD is inferior

    by MattmanReturns

    Willie Scott. She doesn't hold a candle to Marion or Elsa (hot and semi-evil... gets me every time). Temple of Doom is great fun, I love watching it... but Crusade is just a far more mature movie, with better plot and character development. And that dinner scene is one of the worst displays of exposition. It's even used as an example in the Screenwriter’s Bible of how NOT to do exposition. I just think it's the most flawed Indy movie (thus far)... but that doesn't mean it's not a great Indy movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Merrick my friend, you should be banned

    by moto

    Posting something like this, something unconfirmed regarding such a big film, hurts any credibility that AICN might have nowadays. <p> I don't even care if the dude did see the flick, which I know he didn't because there was no public screening and Lucas/Spielberg wouldn't have a public screening because they don't want spoilers out there. But even if he did see the flick in some fantasy world, posting some anonymous review on such a big film and using it as a major headline on this site is nothing more than an attempt to get more AICN unique hits. It would be different if it were Harry, Quint, or Moriarty reviewing it. Or even different if it was reviewed by a CONFIRMED spy who has had a STRONG track record over the years. Instead, you post some schmuck's review that could be anybody. It could be some Jew-hating asshole that despises Spielberg. <p> Regardless, you should be banned bro. You're like the crappy internet version of Dan Rather;)

  • May 8, 2008, 11:47 a.m. CST

    I'm surprised

    by Abominable Snowcone

    some people here did NOT know that the air freight guy was Ackroyd. He's the guy who says in real drawn out words, "As you will be riding on a cargo carrier." Then he dotes over Willie Scott for a second. But the funniest part of that scene is when Indy says "Nice Try Lao Che!"

  • May 8, 2008, 11:48 a.m. CST

    This talkback is making me love TOD even more.

    by beastie

    Yeah. I like it more than Crusade, but all these quotes are making me wanna leave work to go watch it.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    "Merrick does come off rather twatish.

    by MattmanReturns

  • May 8, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    George Lucas is a pedophile

    by MIkeYH

    for molesting all of our childhoods. I never post on this site but I have to say something now. Fucking shit are you people serious? You actually think this will be worth while? Let's see here... there was absolutely no reason in hell for this film to be made. The trilogy was complete, everyone was happy, the story was told. This was purely a cash-in on Lucas' part just like those mind molesting SW prequels were. The fact that you mind-less drones will feed into his shit and let him line his pockets with these soul-less, pointless, completely shallow "films" probably says more about you than it does about him. The original trilogy was a classic in every sense. I don't have to be obsessed with them to know a great adventure story when I see it, this was made with all the wrong intentions. When a movie is made purely for the green it is NEVER good. How could it be? There was NOTHING left to explore with Indiana. Any open ends should/could have been left to the mythology. Indiana's already had his last crusade in my book. I won't see this.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:50 a.m. CST

    "Merrick does come off rather twatish."

    by MattmanReturns

    That's the most accurate thing anybody's ever said about Merrick.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:50 a.m. CST

    I asked an 8yr old about Revenge of the Sith

    by finky089

    he said "What? I didn't see that shit." <p> I then asked a 15yr old wbout it and he said "It was okay I guess. I'm mostly just want my driver's license, tho'." <p> Even the kids who saw those prequels won't care about them in 20 years the way "adults" now wax adoringly on the OT. Maybe it's partially a generational thing, maybe it's because the prequels aren't as "good" as the OT, maybe it's because the world has just changed too much since the OT.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:50 a.m. CST

    finky089

    by Frankenbastard

    "Mola Ram, prepare to meet Kali...in HELL." We yell that in Walmart all the time. I love that great puppet that skids to his death down the cliff side.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Dogsoldier77... that was stated perfectly.

    by beastie

    Good on you.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Amrish Puri

    by Abominable Snowcone

    the guy who played Mola Ram, died three years ago. I didn't know that. Now he is a TRUE BELIEVER muahahahahahaha

  • May 8, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    70s venom

    by mattforce7

    I liked a good handful of things in the prequels, just a handful though. Ian McDiarmid was good in that movie, but he had one of the WORST "NO's" in the movie, multiple no's as amatter of fact, remember? "No, NO, NOO, YOU MUST DIE!" I laughed so hard at that part

  • May 8, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Right on Rando

    by IronSkillet

    And the theater had an Asteroids game in the lobby, also with a line.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:54 a.m. CST

    Rando Calrisian

    by Herb West

    Dude, that was like the longest post in the history of AICN. You should get an award or something.

  • May 8, 2008, 11:54 a.m. CST

    "Nice try, George Lucas!"

    by finky089

    Is this what we will all be saying after seeing Indy IV? <p> Will we walk from the theaters, raise our ticket stubs in the air and exclaim, "Spielberg, prepare to meet Kali...in HELL!" <p> Will we leave the theater insisting to the lines of people waiting for the next showing that "Indy IS GOING TO DIE!" just to fuck with them? <p> perhaps

  • May 8, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    hahaha Finky

    by mattforce7

    U just gave me the most diabolical plan evAR

  • May 8, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Frankenbastard - Mola Ram's skid

    by finky089

    that is my favorite moment in ToD. <p> Mola ram falling down the cliff, skidding his head along it, then falling into the crocodiles, but still screaming as he is torn apart (or so we assume cuz we don't actually see anything but the crocs ripping up robes. Pussy Lucas!)

  • May 8, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    ToD was Plastic Jungle-riffic

    by IronSkillet

    And it rocked. "Those aren't big birds, sweetheart. They're GIANT VAMPIRE BATS!!!"

  • May 8, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    mattforce7

    by finky089

    I encourage that kind of thing

  • May 8, 2008, 11:59 a.m. CST

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    by Frankenbastard

    "What the fuck do TOD and Superman 2 have in common" Umm...they were both direct sequels to really good films? Also i thibnk those were the first couple of times i turned to my friends and said "hey you know guys that film kinda sucked" You know i had an opinion all pimlply faced and shit insted of being a lemming.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Technically...

    by Herb West

    TOD is a prequel.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Merrick. You are worthless as what you do.

    by jones1899

    Why would you post a review from someone who has not even seen the movie. Thats like me saying your mom was a bad fuck before fucking her. In actuality your mom was a decent fuck. Seriously though...this makes the enitre AICN site look pretty terrible.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Of course, this is Lucas's Fault...

    by DarfurOnTheRocks

    ...and if it turns out awesome then Speilberg gets the kudos right?

  • May 8, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Good.

    by AllieJamison

    I just bought tickets. Honestly. Pairing this with some positive reactions would have been nice. What the fuck is up with Jeff Wells? I rarely agree with him. But his "Generation Gap?" post in which he mentions some negative as well as some positive Crystal Skull reactions (I guess these come from a person or people who are not the same entity as the plant from a few days back) is kinda neat.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    After the Star Wars special editions were released...

    by rbatty024

    Ebert had an interesting comment about Indiana Jones and the possibility of doing the same thing to those films. He said that the dated special effects just enhance their connection to the old serials. They still work because they are more tongue in cheek than Star Wars was. There is more of a self-referential post-modern element in the Indiana Jones films than in Star Wars. I thought it was an interesting idea.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    Night time FX

    by Frankenbastard

    I just read back on your post. "by groundbreaking you mean putting everything in the fucking dark to smooth the edges." Yea ILM has *never* done that before. Come on, we both know it's cheaper to shoot night time FX, or do you not know that?

  • May 8, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Harry VS. Merrick

    by MattmanReturns

    Yeah whatever you wanna say about Harry, there's no denying that he loves movies. Sometimes he loves movies a little too much... but I'll take that any day over someone who posts news/reviews as an excuse to sneak in underhanded and not-so-underhanded remarks about everything.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Kong..

    by Frankenbastard

    Oh and i think there were plenty of daytime shots in King Kong.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Fuck you, mattforce7. FUCK YOU TO HELL.

    by That 70s Venom

    Hahahaha I'm totally kidding. I respect your opinion, but Revenge of the Sith is my favorite one.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:07 p.m. CST

    COMMON AS SHORT ROUND

    by BringingSexyBack

    "No time for love yo! We gotz ta roll!"

  • May 8, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    Excellent post, Rando Calrisian

    by Trazadone

    Indy will rock and I'll be first in line.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Yeah, Mattman, one of the things that makes these TBs...

    by rbatty024

    bearable is the fact that the people who work on the site mostly love film. I might not agree with them but I certainly enjoy their enthusiasm. It's that sense of optimism that offsets the cynicism of these discussions.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Give Dickblood Merrick's job

    by suckinsomeGiacchinodick

    Merrick is a piece of shit and this might be the turning point where everyone finally realizes it. Fuck Merrick and his stupid 14 year old son.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    COMMON AS SHORT ROUND

    by BringingSexyBack

    "You call him Doctor Jones, ho!"

  • May 8, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    DGDB

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Thanks for the link. Has me wondering what the big secret ending is. A marriage? A death? An arriving UFO? Shee-it.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:11 p.m. CST

    AICN was already going down hill...

    by jones1899

    Posting this fake review is the nail in the coffin. Once a great site, Merrick you now made it all loko so fuckin pathetic. Good Job, ACE!

  • May 8, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Common's Indy 4 rap

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Lickety split<br> She was suckin' my d*ck<br> And if da bitch bite down<br> I'll crack my whip<br> Cuz she be just a jungle ho<br> And I'm muthaf*ckin Indy Jones<br> Ho-ohhh! Ho-ohhh! Ho-ohhh!

  • May 8, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    When a 14 year-old kid says something is too slow...

    by Blue_Demon

    you have to take it with a grain of salt. For 25 years kids have been subjected to MTV. Their minds think in quick cuts. Anybody born after 1979 probably has the attention span of a mongoose on speed.<p>I was watching "The Exorcist" last week and loved the way the movie unfolded. Some punk today would probably walk out. All this said however, I still am not expecting much from the new Indy movie. I'm probably the only one who feels like this but BOTH of the Indiana Jones sequels sucked. I cringed throughout Temple of Doom with Kate Capshaw and hated the "comic" exchanges between Jones and Connery in Crusade. As far as I am concerned, Indiana Jones was a one-shot. "Raiders" is wonderful.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    All you need to know

    by Archive

    is in Pyul MacTackle's Sahara review for this site: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/19769 When that review came out, I thought it was one of the most insightful looks into why so many of the action films of the 80's worled for us, and what the legacy of Superman and the Matrix really is. For a movie like this, the lead character has to disbelieve, at least in his own abilities, if not the events unfolding before his eyes. Indy's personality has always come through in the reaction shots, and in the trailers I've seen, there are none. Great temple - where's Indy? All this makes me think that the reason George Lucas got so close to his characters in the OT was that he couldn't pull off longer shots, and that the great performances he captured were just a byproduct of his technical limitations. Harrison Ford is a charisma machine. He's larger than life. Why would you shoot the damned set? We need to see him LOOKING at the set to believe it. The effects and production are just to back up and justify his reactions. That's what worked about Iron Man. We believed in Iron Man because we saw Robert Downey Jr. learn to believe, and then we saw it for ourselves for a moment or two. It's doesn't work the other way around, guys.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Pretending to be outside?

    by IronSkillet

    Yeah, but what about the part where they're inside, but pretending to be outside? 2001 is the only film to ever play fair with special effects, in that it was filmed entirely on location in the vacuum of space. Except for the prologue section, in which monkeys pretended to be men dressed up as naked hominids. These sequences were filmed underwater, while the monkeys instead pretended to be in the Olduvai Gorge 3,000,000 years ago. I only hope the other actors don't call Harrison Ford "Indiana Jones" as they did in the original films--will the pretending never stop?

  • May 8, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    U know maybe ill see INdy

    by mattforce7

    I still want to hope that it can be really good, cuz I stil think Steve boy's got it, but ur right, if it sucks, blame the Ranch( SkyShmalker ranch that it) and if it rocks, well give the props to StEve man....now i have to go to psycho-analysis....really

  • May 8, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Hey Morons...Quit ranting "This review is Fake!"

    by PaddyIrishman

  • May 8, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    And another thing, Lucas raped nobody's childhood

    by slone13

    He may have done a number on some of your "adulthood", but there was no raping of anyone's childhood going on at any point.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    Rickey has much love for Raiders...

    by Rickey Henderson

    Yes, ToD doesn't get nearly as much respect as it should. But zounds people, how is Raiders of the Lost Ark NOT your favorite Indy movie? It's got an awesome score ("well of souls" anyone?), Nazi bad guys (a prerequisite for a good Indy movie), Indy travelling all over the world, and the car chase to end all car chases.<br> <br> The potential problem with Indy IV is that the cast is too damned big. Too many people are coming along on the adventure. The best moments in "Raiders" are when Indy is on his own doing insane shit: hijacking caravans, avoiding snakes, shooting sword wielding assasins, riding a stolen horse through an encampent stowing away on submarines, etc. Those are all iconic & solitary moments. To include a whole group of people in an Indy adventure is just asking for problems. We don't need characters reaction shots for when Indy does something fucking awesome because WE KNOW it's fucking awesome. That having been said, Rickey's still absolutely on board for this.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    You see, Spielberg! You see what you get...

    by Stalin vs Predator

    ...when you don't cast a rapper??? Aye, you may say "Shia is as good as any rapper", but, good sir, let me tell you this: I've seen a rapper once, and, good sir, Shia is no rapper! Or maybe it was a rapist, not a rapper? Then again, I gather the words are interchangeable.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    PaddyIrishman, shut it

    by slone13

    It IS fake. Or are you too dense to see that.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Don't believe a word

    by Headjew

    A screening for the public? really?! Since they can't change the movie this late and want secrecy, I doubt it. Also, the review is way too harsh. I dont care about Lucas but I doubt Spielberg would wait 20 years for a script, make this his first movie in 2.5 years, have been thinking about scene and how he was going to shoot them for years, and make a bad movie. I'm not saying everybody will love it but the man is incapable of shooting anything without making it entertaining. This is the last Indiana Jones people, there's no way the Beard would fuck us like this.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    finky089

    by Frankenbastard

    "but screaming as he is torn apart" Yea it even had the Wilhelm scream. Priceless.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    The positive review in the link

    by Dogballs99

    posted by dannyglovers_dickbood, can be considered just as dubious as the one written by shogunmaster. They only comment on things that have been mentioned or leaked through photos online.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    by Frankenbastard

    "when you were a kid, then you have no fucking soul" LMAO! I like you even if you are the anti version of me.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    I have faith in Steve and Harrison

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'm not lubing my ass when I go see it, because I trust I won't be fucked.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Why is everybody

    by Blood Simple

    getting their panties in a bunch. It's painfully clear that this review is bogus - all the information about plot and particular scenes is readily available from several sources. The "reviewer" was also dead wrong on two specific points that I won't reveal as to avoid spoiling anything. The movie may be good, it may be mediocre, we won't know until May 22nd. But do yourselves a favor and don't allow these immature attempts by killjoy forum trolls to ruin the experience for you. It's INDY. It's a summer popcorn flick cut from a higher standard. Enjoy it - that's the whole point.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    Re: Rando Calrisian

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Nice try, but no.<p>"Lucas is right; there is nothing he can do that will please the expectations regarding Star Wars and Indiana Jones because we hold them in some kind of rose colored dream state. Lucas has given us exactly what we have asked for."<p>Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.<p>Look, I'm the first to admit the OT isn't what I remember it to be. As I said in a TB earlier this week, the acting is hambone, the dialogue is atrocious and there were elements that just didn't belong.<p>If Lucas wanted to make a movie just for his kids, he should have filmed Episode One and not released it theatrically. It would have been the most expensive home movie ever made but the fans wouldn't have had cause to complain. Instead he made a movie for us as well as himself. He knew that the Ewoks were despised. He has heard them decried for 17 years. So rather than learn from a mistake what does he do? He throws us a character that is so vile and obnoxious I would rather have an Ewok surgically attached to my back than have to watch that clumsy jerkoff on the screen any longer.<p>And then there's his hubris. That finger licking good, I'm richer than God, have a super secret ranch hubris that made him think he could single-handedly write all three scripts and direct all three movies. At least with TESB and ROTJ he had the good sense to let someone else direct, which is why the performances are actually slightly better in those two movies.<p>Nothing he can do my ass. All he needed to do was pen a first draft and then hand it off to someone who actually knows how to write dialogue. And he should have removed himself completely from the casting decisions. Jake Lloyd is almost as painful to watch as Jar Jar.<p>So I have to disagree with every word you typed. Lucas could have made movies that didn't have canned dialogue or villains with exposed, easy to shoot hearts or "Nooooooooooooooo!" or floppy-eared dicknosed Rastafarians or actors that delivered lines like they were working for a sandwich and a cup of coffee or would've-been-iconic-bad-guys if they had lived longer than one movie.<p>Lucas couldn't even get a memorable performance out of Sam Jackson for christsakes. He should have been able to do that simply by accident.<p>In the end, I don't really care. My childhood is intact and the sun will rise again tomorrow. It just would have been nice to sit down and watch all six movies without wanting to skip through everything but episodes IV and V.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Speaking of test screenings

    by Dogballs99

    Sean Patrick Flannery was recently quoted as saying that he saw "Kingdom" and that it "was the movie we were waiting for" and kicked some ass. I'll look for the source....

  • May 8, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    And MERRICK

    by Blood Simple

    you my friend, are an assclown.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    On the fake F/X

    by FlyingToupee

    In interviews, Lucas and Spielberg have said they want this to be in the mold of 1950's sci-fi films, since the setting is the 1950's. Perhaps the fake jungle sets and bad f/x are deliberate attempts to mimic those old flicks. I'm hoping for the best(fingers crossed).

  • May 8, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    slone13

    by spud mcspud

    That's what YOU think. My childhood won't come out of it's room after this talkback. It knows Lucas has designs on its sweet, sweet ass, and Sloppy Steven wants sloppy seconds on dat sweet, sweet ho. My childhood could be buggered to oblivion on Mayy 22nd, but it's a chance I'll have to take, even if the Bearded Ones go all Uncle Monty on my childhood.<P> "Wake up, childhood. I know you're in there. The adult Spud's asleep. I've been in his room..."<P> It's GIVING ME THE FEAR!!!!!!!!!!

  • May 8, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    DGDB

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I think Sam Jackson gave an outstanding performance in Black Snake Moan. But I agree that as of late it looks like he's just there to collect a paycheck.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    DGDB

    by Abominable Snowcone

    No way for George. Not after lines in "Sith" like...<p> ANAKIN: You look so beautiful.<br> PADME: Because I'm SO in love with you.<br> ANAKIN: No! I'm so in love with YOU!

  • May 8, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Danny... Sam Jackson

    by MattmanReturns

    Very true. People went all crazy for that stupid Nick Fury cameo in Iron Man. It was the only thing I didn't like in Iron Man. Jackson always looks like he's reading from cue cards.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:42 p.m. CST

    That 70s Venom

    by Series7

    Then your gay, Cate Blanchett is a man.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:42 p.m. CST

    my goodness people

    by jedihillis

    It's just one persons opinion.....

  • May 8, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian Organ Donor and DICKBLOOD

    by spud mcspud

    I have to agree with every word you typed. Bang on. There are ZERO fucking excuses for what happened with STAR WARS and the prequels. Though I must disagree with ROTJ - I mean, the Rancor! Speeder Bike chase! Luke vs Vader, proper scrap! Lando flying the Falcon! THE SLAVE GIRL OUTFIT!!! What's not to love in JEDI?!?<P> And DICKBLOOD - maybe it depends on whether or not you like SLJ being SLJ. I love watching him play everything as Jules Winfield, just as I love Martin Lawrence playing Marcus Burnett in everything he does. In that way, I don't get what happened in the prequels, because it's as if George didn't understand that if you hired Sam Jackson post-1884, what you got was Jules Winfield. They should have just had SLJ improv the movie.<P> "Just pick out my lightsabre."<P> "Which one?"<P> "It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker."<P> But as George Lucas sucks the soul out of everything he sees these days, I'm really not surprised. Could Mace's final scene have been any shittier than that?!?

  • May 8, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Nick Fury cameo

    by spud mcspud

    Should have been Chiwetel Ejiofor. I never saw Nick Fury as the shouty, bad mother fucker type.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    I think this 'review' should be pulled now.

    by Gabba-UK

    It is more than clear after just a few minutes surfing that the concensus of opinion is that no one outside of Lucas' and Speilbergs close circle of friends has seen this film. This is the opinion of respected, professinal journalist's. We can only come then to one of two conclusion's. Either Shogun is really Martin Scorsese, Robot Zemekis, Brian De Palma or Francis Ford Coppola. Or and I think this is the most likely to be believed, he's flat out lying about seeing it as is anyone else claiming to have seen it. Read the piece in Variaty. The first screening of this film to anyone other than those on Lucas' and Speilberg's speed dial is May 18th at Cannes. All 'reviews' before that date should be treated as bogus.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:49 p.m. CST

    I don't know.....

    by Darth Macchio

    While I do doubt anything with Neck's (aka Lucas's) grubby fingers all over it, I will wait and see for myself whether this is a welcome addition to the Indy lore or if it's keyrap. Since the theater is shite due to your kids saying everything is slow so all they do the whole time is flap their fucking lips, I will invariably get it on DVD at some point. Sorry to burst the kid-centric bubble but kids just ain't that kewl folks. Their opinion is of course shit....look at what they eat up? Fucking American Idol? Where I come from we call that sort of ass karaoke and it's usually a source of homicidal self-loathing that we avoid much like involuntary testicle shaving with a Cuisinart. Kids are fucking consumo-robots anyway so why listen to anything they have to say? Roof, toilet, and food for pie-hole, otherwise shut the hell up!....that's it...kids should be in school!!!<p><p><p>As for Indy...I would love for it to be great but will pick it up on dvd regardless and will probably be able to squeeze some enjoyment out of it much like the SW prequels (ok, so it does take some serious squeezing but it is possible). That said...yes Lucas is a flake who happens to write great stories; altho I'm starting to wonder if that is even true...imagine the man responsible for making one of the greatest landmark and culture spanning movie franchises in history but in reality its a total fluke and the man has no discernible talent past 1985. Hating the prequels is old if still somewhat fun but let's face it...they don't even come close to the suckage of many other films (basically all the 'spoof' movies and the 'american pie' shit, nonstop crapanese-ghost horror (usually just pale little girls with sringy hair...lots of stringy hair and weird inhuman crawling around, etc) and I'm sure Indy4 will follow a similar take. I can't imagine not enjoying Indy on the screen whatsoever...as long as Ford actually channels Indy..even a little bit...I'll be happy.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Some town called Roswell.

    by thebearovingian

    Not from the US, ShogunMaster? I would think that Roswell would be somewhat famous worldwide.<p>Here's my issue with The Beef: He's not the worst out there, he's entertaining BUT I think what you see is what you get. The guy on the screen isn't an act and is the same guy in real life: a smug, annoyed, disrespectful smartass who nobody would want to be around (unless you're family and then only every 5 years or so at reunions).

  • May 8, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    Wrong Gabba-UK

    by fiester

    Slate.com is reporting there was a screening Tuesday for a Paramont group (and it's safe to assume there were plenty of others there as well): http://www.slate.com/id/2190990/

  • May 8, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    My childhood

    by g-ride9000

    was ruined by online haters. when i was a kid I thought everyone liked movies. Now I see the truth, people love to hate movies. I love movies including Soldier starring K. Russel. I just watched that yesterday. Humans have flaws, movies have flaws. If it looks lame, don't go see it.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    You guys don't get it

    by theplant

    In 20 years time, EP1 will be regarded as a masterpiece superior to the original three films, when the SE comes out and Jar Jar is played by Joe Pesci's son.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Re: the Nick Fury cameo

    by Rickey Henderson

    Rickey, for one, has had it with having to sit through the credits and see who the 700 man animator team was in order to get a little snippet. And no, it was a very weak cameo. But then again, the Terrence Howard scene where he looks at the suit and "next time baby" was equally foolish. Don't tease with with silly one liners damnit. Some of us don't like to be titillated by a movie that's two years away and doesn't even exist yet. How about focusing on making THIS movie actually decent first? You know, a balls out fun action movie that leaves it's guts on the floor and doesn't ask for us to bear with it and wait for the sequel? Enough with the going throught the motions already...

  • May 8, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Node

    by spud mcspud

    I'm not as worked up about it as you are (chill my friend!) but you have a valid point - why hate the Ewoks?<P> At least they weren't fucking GUNGANS!!!<P> And let's face it, the Ewok on the speeder bike was kind of cool. As was the bit where one died and the other grieves for it. Taking down AT-STs with only logs. The Ewoks with the bolas knocking himself out. They really weren't all that bad. You hit the nail on the head: if you hate Ewoks because you think they don't belong in Star Wars, then, hell, you have no joy and you have no soul. Next you'll be telling Node and I that you hate Jawas, and then we tell you to go fuck yourselves...

  • May 8, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    Fake as hell

    by Sithdan

    This review is a fabrication. I'm not considering anything official until the Cannes Film Festival premiere.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Rando

    by peytonallen

    Good points, but I hate the "we're too old" for this argument that I first heard from Sam Jackson when the prequels were in trouble. If we're too old for this shit why are most of us still marking out over Iron Man, Batman Begins, and LOTR. The OT may have had some cheesy lines but every actor treated it like it was gospel. There was an energy from the actors missing from the PT. In the attack on the Death Star in A New Hope, everyone in an X-Wing gunned for an Oscar. "I'm Hittttttttttttttttttt." In the PT, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and the Clones look bored to tears in a ship. There's a noted difference in the quality of the movies to me at least. If you liked them as much, awesome. Just don't preach to us about the movies being the same, but we're different. Bullshit.<p> I hope this review was fake, it probably wasn't though. Who cares in the end? I'll see it. I'm looking forward to it. Speilberg seems to have gone out of his way to show nothing in these trailers. That's annoying. Hoping Karen Allen is in the movie for a good amount of running time is probably wishful thinking. Anyway, I expect this movie to be good.<p> Concerning the lack of buzz in theaters from the trailer. I heard one guy next to me, and granted he wasn't a film geek, say "Indiana Jones, are you serious?" after the trailer. Star Wars was a culture event. It lasted 20 years. People were hungry for it by the time the prequels were in formation. Be interesting to see how many people really want this movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Who's surprised? Those trailers sucked!!

    by ganymede3010

    I remember watching the new Indy Trailer just before Iron Man. Once it came on I paid close attention to how the audience was reacting. The problem was, no one reacted, then the Hulk trailer came on, then everyone was cheering. The trailers looked horrible to me. And I'll definitely sit this one out.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST

    ABOM - GREAT RAP

    by BringingSexyBack

    Hoooo!!!

  • May 8, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST

    Indy 4 Won't let it ruin the film

    by KrisC64

    I never let critic reviews ruin a film for me I disagree critics all the time It could be the best How many critics say films are great but when you see it you wish for your time back? I will go into the film with an open mind In my home town I was first in the door opening day for the 1st 3 films

  • May 8, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    THE RANCOR HAD TERRIBLE BLUE SCREEN EFFECTS

    by BringingSexyBack

    and the drool moved unrealistically.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Merrick is hated

    by suckinsomeGiacchinodick

    Atleast Moriarty, obnoxious and excruciating as he can be, is a good writer and offers insight into movies. Merrick is absolutely worthless, a snide fuck with a 14 year old son.

  • May 8, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Just got off the phone with Tom Cruise

    by Abominable Snowcone

    He said he saw it, and it's "glib."

  • May 8, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    g-ride9000 - Bad Movies We Love

    by spud mcspud

    Fuck the haters, love what you love and never apologise for it. Hell, one of my favourite movies of all time is called NINJA III: THE DOMINATION, and stars Lucinda Dickey as a nightclub dancer who at night becomes possessed by the spirit of a dead ninja who uses her body to exact his terrible revenge from beyond the grave. Why there are functional ninja clans in California in the mid 1980s is never explained, but it stars Dickey (great in BREAKDANCE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO) and the immortal Sho Kosugi. Only Lost Jarv and myself know the exquisite shame of loving such fucking awful but great movies as these.<P> I also enjoyed SOLDIER. I will not apologise for this . Don't let these bitter old bastards get you off your love for the movies. Fuck us all.

  • May 8, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    You're right DickBlood!!

    by finky089

    If you take the first letter of every other sentence in the middle third of Shogun's review it spells out: <p> BUY MONSTER HOUSE ON DVD <p> Conversely, if you take the last letter of the last word in each sentence starting from the bottom up, it spells out: <p> Grendel ate Beowulf's Balls!!!!

  • May 8, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    BSB - RESPECT THE RANCOR!!!

    by spud mcspud

    The drool wasn't realistic?!?!?<P> Hey, where I come from, that's EXACTLY how a Rancor drools. That's how I roll, braw.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Garbage or not Danny, the people actually cheered for it!

    by ganymede3010

    I wasn't blown away by the trailer myself. But the crowd cheered loudly, especially when he kicked Tim Roth in the chest.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Let's all reserve judgment until we find out what Kurt

    by beastie

    Russell thinks. If he's laughing, then it's all good.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    DickBlood - you may not have met ganymede yet

    by finky089

    he was dick over heels in love with Bay's Transformer movie and insisted (still does) it would be "second coming of christ" awesome. So, yeah, take anything he says with a plymouth rock sized grain of salt.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Just got off the phone with Kurt Russell

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and he said he waited in a line with Steven Seagal to see a sneak preview at Lucas' house. When it became apparent that the place was getting crowded, Kurt surmised they wouldn't make it. That's when Seagal said, "I won't--but YOU will!" and GET THIS he fuckin shot himself right there

  • May 8, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    DGDB - Respect the Kurt!

    by spud mcspud

    Did you know that in 1995 a sequel to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA was written, and almost made into a TV movie?<P> And that JACK BURTON WASN'T FUCKING IN IT?!?!?!?<P> Where I come from, that's blasphemy, yo. A motherfucker could get killed over some shit like that.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    they all had some goofy fx

    by LarryTheCableGuy

    and raiders wsn't exactly fast paced neither. and they all had some crappy characters here and there. the crystal alien skeleton is bordeline cool and dumb. so i'm not gonna start cryin yet. plus that guy who played bladerunner is one of my all time heroes.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    by AllieJamison

    Hahaha ...Shiva bless you Finkyboy...

  • May 8, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    I HAVE SUSPECTED FOR A LONG TIME... MERRICK WAS A SON OF BITCH

    by Proman1984

    Merrick you are a fucking asshole. I've known this from the very beginning. You are lame, stupid and a hater. Fuck you you rotten bitch. I don't belive this shit. One stupid "Review" will not convince me of anything.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    ganymede, it must have been mental patients that cheered

    by finky089

    nobody said shit in my theater either. My fiance laughed when Abomination appeared on the screen. At least Indy got some murmurs, but people didn't react to Hulk at all. There was buzz for TDK and even some schmucks who laughed at Love Guru (more mental patients?), but nothing, and I mean NOTHING for Hulk.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Couldn't they have gotten Eddy Grant

    by Abominable Snowcone

    to sing a reggae song for Indy 4 like he did with Romancing the Stone? Shee-it.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    finky089

    by spud mcspud

    If ganymede was talking about the Second Coming of Megan Fox, I'd be all over it with balls on.<P> That woman is every kind of fine, and sexy too.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Right back at ya, Allie J

    by finky089

    Hang on, lady. We goin' for a wide!

  • May 8, 2008, 1:07 p.m. CST

    Jarv

    by DocPazuzu

    Don't take LastCleric's opinion too seriously. He did, after all, also defend AvP:Rectum.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Alien crystal skeletons

    by Abominable Snowcone

    aren't that far-fetched. Tom Cruise told Oprah he has one at home in a cryogenic compartment

  • May 8, 2008, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Sorry McSpud

    by finky089

    I think he was too busy with his own second coming over the "fantastic" TINO film itself. <p> Besides, gany made up his mind Indy would suck shit before the first still even hit the interweb. He is no "true believer" in Indiana Jones

  • May 8, 2008, 1:08 p.m. CST

    Review is a lie

    by MetiphisLabs

    This movie has not been screened yet. All reviews thus far are lies.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Oh and...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...TOD haters can suck it. Long and hard.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    RANCOR AS H. W. BUSH

    by BringingSexyBack

    "Roaarr ggrrr Rarroaarr."

  • May 8, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    The Kurt laughing joke.

    by beastie

    DGDB... It comes from a review of Grindhouse. The reviewer said that he was feeling uncomfortable during one of the scenes, but looked over and saw Kurt Russell laughing, so it was OK.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:11 p.m. CST

    Lowered expectations

    by spud mcspud

    Lowered expectations aren't always a bad thing when you watch something. I expected CHARLIE BARTLETT to be okay and I absolutely loved it; I then expected FORGETTING SARAH MARSHAL to be fairly derivative shite and it was surprisingly quite funny. Therefore, if I assume INDY 4 is as shit as the first trailer was (not much action in there really) and it turns out to be a slice of fried gold, my childhood will be safe from The Gizzard and The Beard and all will be well with the world.<P> Still didn't think BATMAN BEGINS was all that, though >:D

  • May 8, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Abom - SPOILER - the crystal skulls are used as...

    by finky089

    a transmitter for speaking to Xenu, remember. <p> In fact, near the end of the film, Blanchett will fight Jones with the Skull, while Jones wheels out the Power of the Ark to combat her. But Blanchett's manly power starts to overcome Jones and the Ark...which is when Marion rips open her shirt and there between her breasts is the HEadpice to the the Staff of Rah! <p> ALl hell breaks loose until Shia runs up with the blazing Shankara Stones to save the day, but he trips on a gnarled tree root, drops the stones all over the floor of the old temple they are in, allowing Blanchett to suddenly fall parallel to the floor an escape through a trapdoor vent while cackling. <p> Indy looks over at Shia, who's holding his skinned knee and says "have a nice trip?" To whic Marion laughs and says "Yeah, se eyou next fall!" Indy and Marion high five each other, Shia laughs, but covers his eyes as those two kiss. Cue the Raiders MArch and roll credits! <P> that's what really happens. In a nutshell.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    crystal is fucking heavy

    by zom-bot.com

    that skull is pretty big. i'd hate to be the scrawny alien that had to have crystal bones, but maybe their telepathy can keep them standing up.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Xiphos

    by spud mcspud

    What's not to love? SOLDIER is a sci-fi remake of SHANE, and is therefore cool no matter what ANYONE says. Plus it's based in the Blade Runner universe. Seriously!

  • May 8, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    My father is an asshole

    by merricks14yearoldson

    I LOVED the new Indy trailer and I can't wait to see the movie. Don't let my dad get you down. He's a fuckin' asshole.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    finky, one question...

    by just pillow talk

    How could the headpiece of the staff of Rah be there when my mouth has been firmly planted in her Mt. Breast region? That's my sneak preview....

  • May 8, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    Hmmm, almost noon here and I've done almost NO WORK

    by finky089

    oh, Megatron's gonna be pissed....

  • May 8, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    LOL merricks14yearoldson....

    by just pillow talk

    Good luck in life kid!

  • May 8, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    are you related to the bastard son of superman?

    by just pillow talk

  • May 8, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    So if slate.com says that their was a showing...

    by Gabba-UK

    and it was for Paramount people, then you can bet bet your arse they knew the name and address of everyone in that room. Meaning Shogun most likely broke an NDA and will shortly be clearing his desk or the friend/relative who got him there will be. Which is why I say its still bogus.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Stay after the credits

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Shogun says SPOILER that Abner isn't in it, but if you wait until after the credits, you see 2 mins of Abner Ravenwood breakdancing on a piece of cardboard in Times Square.<p> finky089 I wasn't that bonerfied over photos of Blanchett as Stralka, but there's one recent shot of her practically straddling this big gun on a truck, and she looks good there. Plus, Gummer would approve her usage of appropriate ammunition.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    merricks14yearoldson

    by finky089

    BWahahahahaha. good handle, whoever you are

  • May 8, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    HA HA HA finky

    by zom-bot.com

    i wasn't with you at the beginning of your rant, but you nailed it with"...says "have a nice trip?" To whic Marion laughs and says "Yeah, se eyou next fall!" Indy and Marion high five each other, Shia laughs, but covers his eyes as those two kiss."<P> priceless. <P>dot com

  • May 8, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Ewoks and Other Galactic Funk

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    I don't know what my problem with the Ewoks is. I guess I would have just rather seen a race of warriors. All the rolling and swinging logs they had all over the place were ridiculous. Physics dictates that 50-pound munchkins couldn't lift and pull back a 5-ton slab of wood. Besides, unless they knew they would one day be going to war with the Empire, why have all that stuff in place? Lucas should have should have used Wookies instead and not relegated them to an embarrassing cameo in ROTS.<p>He had another chance in TPM to show as an amazing warrior race and gave us the Gungans instead.<p>Jedi has some great stuff. The scenes with Jabba, the speeder bikes, Luke confronting the Emperor, the space battle with Lando, etc. But the Ewoks felt too much like comic relief every time they were on the screen. That's better suited for a Chris Tucker-Jackie Chan movie, not Star Wars.<p>Anyhoo, flame on.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian Organ Donor

    by zacdilone

    Get it right...not clergy, PRIESTS. Don't lump us Protestants in with that lot.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    well now there is more than one Danny Glover

    by crashbarbarian

    who i wouldn't mind never hearing from again... Long Live Bayformers!

  • May 8, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Rickey uses crystal deodorant...

    by Rickey Henderson

    It doesn't have toxins like those other deodorants. Crystal deodorant, Rickey tells ya! Is that kind of like this crystal skull thing?

  • May 8, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    well now there is more than one Danny Glover

    by crashbarbarian

    who i wouldn't mind never hearing from again... Long Live Bayformers!

  • May 8, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Harry, fire my dad, please

    by merricks14yearoldson

    Harry, this site has gone into the shitter since Merrick and Scorekeeper showed up. Please, please fire those assholes.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    LA Times says Lucas, Speilberg, and Ford get 87.5 cents of every

    by Dr Hemlock

    Now I'm even more determined not to go see this thing. http://tinyurl.com/5qf5lw

  • May 8, 2008, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Pillow, that's a good point, but SPOILER ....

    by finky089

    what you didn't realize is that while you guys were sleeping, she slipped out of bed, went to her nightstnd where she keeps her "special things" and opened the fake bottom to the drawer and whipped that fucker out, knwoing she'd be leaving to see her old flame Indy again. <p> DOn't worry, she'll be back in your bed soon, and hopefully without a giant scarred image of the Headpiece in her Canyon of the Supple Breast.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    Rickey Henderson

    by JBouganim1

    bad cameo? go read a comic book. Were you the only person in the theater not to applaud when Howard said that War Machine one liner? Go get a fuckin hug

  • May 8, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    WHO DOESN'T LIKE SOLDIER?

    by BringingSexyBack

    Awesome movie. Why? A good story that didn't rely solely on visuals. Kurt's the man!

  • May 8, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    scarred images won't deter me...

    by just pillow talk

    She's doing old school stuff to me that makes me think I am Indiana Jones now.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    643 Total Posts!

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Guess we nerds take our Indy seriously.<p><p>Freakin' 2:30 and I have yet to do a lick of work.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    speaking of Kurt...

    by just pillow talk

    Just picked up Big Trouble in Little China...now that's a great fucking movie. Cause like Jack Burton always says...

  • May 8, 2008, 1:27 p.m. CST

    Abom, Blanchett's charatcer does seem Gummer-approved

    by finky089

    Though, i'm not sure how he'd feel about her swing that sword of her at another man all over the film...<p> Still, Indy's leap from the moving vehicle on the edge of the cliff and into the Jeep with Blanchett and Soviets is either a TOTAL GUmmer move, or just recklessly stupid for abandoning everyone else in that vehicle when it is so near to peril. <p> But this ifromt he guy who cut the fucking rope bridge. <p> "He no 'nuts', he CrAzY!"

  • May 8, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian Organ Donor

    by finky089

    before Indy IV saturation started setting in this year, Indy IV posts easily garned 1,000 each. It seems this one has revived the old TB spirit.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    nothing like a "review" to get everyone fired up

    by just pillow talk

    And that's a hell of job you've done today Hawaiian, my work has gotten in the way of me posting inane comments today.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    zacdilone

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Clergy, priests. Protestants, Catholics. All organized religion is bending people over. They should pass around a jar of Vaseline with the collection plate.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:29 p.m. CST

    PIllow, I could watch BTILC ALLFUCKIN DAY

    by finky089

    I love that flick. I know others would disagree, but it IS my favorite Carpenter flick. <p> I wanted to be Egg Shen for Halloween when I was in 6th grade.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    PLANT!!!

    by virtual_ninja

    planty McPlant

  • May 8, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Or as Marion tells Mutt

    by Abominable Snowcone

    "I don't think he plans that far ahead."<p> I'm really looking forward to SPOILER the part where the commies capture Marion and give her another white dress to try on, and this time in the mirror we get to see all the action, and then Ilka comes into the tent to seduce her with a hypnotic crystal phallus

  • May 8, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    The 2 Quatermaine Movies with Chamberlain

    by Impiii

    were pretty decent movies ffs. Not amazing acting but a shitload of fun. And imho the best adventure movies after the IJ's. So everyone who doesnt like them is just [enter random intelligent smartass insult here]

  • May 8, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Hawaiian Organ Donor...

    by beastie

    ... it's a good thing we don't work at the same place or that office would be at a standstill.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Okay, Shogun, how about this:

    by greenstyle92

    What's the deal with the pale jumping dude indy hits with the shovel? When in the film does Indy ride on the back of Sam Witwicky's motorcycle and what's the context for it? What actually happens when the crystal skull is returned to the temple? I'm looking for specific spoilers to verify authenticity.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    Pillow, that's cool. Just watch your head near that mirror

    by finky089

    In case she accidentally pulls THAT "old school" trick on you. <p> You know, knocking you senseless so that she can take advantage of you and give you a Shia Suprise in 20 years.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:32 p.m. CST

    "It's not the years, honey..."

    by finky089

    ...IT'S HITTING ME WITH THAT FUCKIN MIRROR!"

  • May 8, 2008, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Xiphos

    by spud mcspud

    Good to see you too! And if you think SOLDIER being a remake of Shane is cool...<P> BARB WIRE is a remake of CASABLANCA!<P> Think about it! Pamela Anderson is Humphrey Bogart; Udo Kier is Sam, Temeura Morrison is Lauren Bacall. Xander Berkeley is the corrupt French cop, and Steve Railsback represents the Nazis. They even do the same scene at the end, where Barb sees off the Resistance fighters with the MacGuffin AT A FUCKING AIRPORT and ends the movie with a very similar line:<P> Casablanca: "This could be the start of a beautiful relationship."<P> Barb Wire: "I do believe I am falling in love" (to Barb).<P> Next time you see BARB WIRE or CASABLANCA, this revelation will just mess wit your head. Pamela Anderson IS Humphrey Bogart :D

  • May 8, 2008, 1:32 p.m. CST

    I just love the lightening dude...

    by just pillow talk

    Shooting random stuff, burning parts of ceilings down, anything EXCEPT shooting his bolts at the good guys...heh-heh..

  • May 8, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    JBouganim1

    by Rickey Henderson

    Rickey knows what's coming, and yes, it should be cool. But it's almost as if in their haste to set up a sequel, the screenwriters forgot to make a memorable first Iron Man movie. Just Rickey's two cents...

  • May 8, 2008, 1:35 p.m. CST

    My dad smells...uneasy

    by merricks14yearoldson

    I am a big fan of the other Indy movies. Raiders is my favorite, Temple of Doom is fun, and Last Crusade is a Raiders rehash but Connery makes it work.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    BIG TROUBLE

    by spud mcspud

    BTILC is indeed the best John Carpenter movie. No, I won't go back on that statement. And I loved ESCAPE FROM LA too - the ending was much better than EFNY anyway.<P> GHOSTS OF MARS just sucks balls. That was the point where the weed and the fried chicken took precedence in the old man's life. And why the fuck shouldn't they?

  • May 8, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    I've got a stack of paperwork on my desk

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    That would kill Hulk Hogan if it fell over on him. These GD talkbacks have me a week behind at least. Every day it's a personal competition to try and come up with the next "crapping food from 1980" remark.<p>That said, I to whittle this stack down by a foot so I'll be away for the next little while.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    If Indy 4 sucks

    by greenstyle92

    Then I will instantly age 17 years and fly out to Skywalker Ranch and sit down with Spielberg, Lucas and Ford just to incessantly scream "BASTARD IN A BASKET! BASTARD IN A BASKET!" That one never gets old...

  • May 8, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Jack Burton>Indiana Jones

    by spud mcspud

    Yeah, I said it. Ya coming with us, Egg?

  • May 8, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Jack Burton - awesome extraordinaire

    by finky089

    Sure, Wang does most of the asskicking, but Jack's got the best lines.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:38 p.m. CST

    And this year's award for

    by Abominable Snowcone

    the coveted "OH SNAP we got to see that" award is a TIE--between Blood and Chocolate, and Midnight Meat Train.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:38 p.m. CST

    "What's this?" "Good to keep up the yang."

    by finky089

  • May 8, 2008, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Mcspud

    by crashbarbarian

    wow, your love for some, not all, horrible movies really makes me feel better about your feelings towards other movies not embraced by those on these talkbacks as good but i love.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    Midnight Meat Train? Is that a new Brianna Banks flick?

    by finky089

    Don't know that one, Abom, but it sounds interesting.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    oh... no, we aren't dogging blood and choco

    by crashbarbarian

    are we?

  • May 8, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Spud

    by Mattyboy122

    Lauren Bacall ain't in Casablanca. That'd be Ingrid Bergman.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:41 p.m. CST

    Cheers crash

    by spud mcspud

    There's room for all types in this world.<P> "Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail."

  • May 8, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    GAWD!! I am such a gull-a-bull

    by skimn

    I reread the "review" and call SHENANIGANS!!!I mean "The alien corpse prize is replaced with the crystal skull from the corpse (the actual skeleton of aliens is crystaline, and the Crystal Skull is literally an alien's remains) and chases and such ensue"...c'mon!!! I was so jazzed thinking it was an actual review I lost all higher brain functions.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    Ready? I was born ready....

    by just pillow talk

    Jack is indeed greater than Indy, then again, not many men can match up to Jack.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    finky089

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Midnight Meat Train is an upcoming Clive Barker horror movie. I think the trailer played with Cloverfield or something like that. People laughed out loud.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST

    FUCK SHOGUNMASTER

    by Gungan Slayer

    What the fuck does he know? INDIANA JONES IS BACK! One more week!!!!!

  • May 8, 2008, 1:47 p.m. CST

    bull-fucking-shit

    by El Borak

    people have such a hard on about this movie that they can't wait to get f'ed as good as they got it the first time. then they don't have the same feeling and they bitch about how it's never as good as it used to be. boo-fucking-hoo. from everything i've seen and heard this looks good.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Jack Burton>Indiana Jones

    by skimn

    I won't go that far, but it is pretty neck and neck. Both succeed despite their monumental fuck-ups. Although I always get a kick out of the "undercover" scene in the brothel. Kurt's line readings and wardrobe are hilarious.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    I'm still going to see it

    by americannightmare

    It's Indiana Jones.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Gungan

    by skimn

    Don't want to burst your bubble, but 2 more weeks.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    crashbarbarian

    by spud mcspud

    Just re-read my roasting of you over on the HANCOCK TB that turned into a BB - GOOD OR SHIT? argument...<P> Apologies for that - I sound like a twat on there. What an arse I am! I do how ever still believe that (a) Christian Bale is a miserable bastard who should LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP and (b) That X-MEN variant is out there...<P> Apologies, man. Lapse in etiquette.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    Xi...

    by just pillow talk

    Like the Mets just were when they took 2 outta 3 from the D-Backs in 'Zona? heh-heh...<p>of course they followed that up by losing 2 of 3 to the Dodgers...

  • May 8, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    spud

    by crashbarbarian

    haven't even read it yet... ill back after i do, but thax for the apology anyway...haha

  • May 8, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Robocop 2

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Was the movie in question, DGDB.<p>When the madness was capped by Cain's brains hitting the pavement, my acid washed jeans filled up with Frankenberrys.

  • May 8, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Porkchop Express

    by just pillow talk

    What does that mean, huh?<p>China is here?<p>I don't even know what the hell that means..

  • May 8, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    To skip waaaay back...

    by Kurutteru Yatsu

    In what world is Quigley Down Under an Indy rip-off? What, because they both wear hats?<br><br>As for Indy, I'm in the camp of people who haven't been wowed by the trailers but will show up anyway. End of the day, it's a new Indy film. That's worth my ten bucks.

  • May 8, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    ROBOCOP 2

    by spud mcspud

    The fight between Robocop and Cain was what TRANSFORMERS (INO) WISHES it was. That movie rocked!<P> Plus, Belinda Bauer was fit. That is all.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    wow, spud

    by crashbarbarian

    that really was a tongue lashing of monumental proportions... but none the less, i love some movies you hate and i hate some movies you love... and we can agree to disagree but BALE and NEESON and BEGINS are still above scrutiny, oh and as far as American Psycho being his only good film, along those lines you've probably not seen the Machinist, and if you have, please your opinion.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Joe Torre drinks it up! He drinks up YOUR MILKSHAKE!

    by Rickey Henderson

    Goddamned stinking Torre. Rickey will be in attendance at Shea for his first game back in NY. It's gonna be fun.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    LUCAS DID NOT DIRECT THIS FILM

    by warsinthesun

    NOR DID HE DIRECT THE FIRST THREE. And Spielberg still directs 'hardcore' films. Please see: Minority Report, Catch Me if you Can and Munich. I expect this new Indy to be fun, intense, and 'hardcore'. Why wouldn't it be??

  • May 8, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Is this gonna get ugly now?

    by spud mcspud

    Huh? I hope not! Because I thought what we are here, racial differences notwithstanding, were just a couple of old buddies - ah shit, Wang, it's only a game.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    also about lucas

    by El Borak

    everybody blames lucas for the bad things in indy 4 which you haven't even seen yet!!! no wonder he hates geeks.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Enjoyed THE MACHINIST

    by spud mcspud

    I didn't quite figure out the ending (though my fiancee did, which pissed me off immensely) but as great as it is, it's yet another famed example of Bale's dedication to (a) dieting for roles (see also RESUCE DAWN) and (b) dark, brooding intensity. I would compare him to Ed Norton, only Ed Norton HAS actually done romcoms (KEEPING THE FAITH) and comedy (DEATH TO SMOOCHY) so at least he demonstrates range. Bale even played Jesus Christ in MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS, and managed to make the lighthearted bits look as if Jesus just wanted to get back to being dark and brooding!<P> I s'pose what I'm saying is: BALE, LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP!!!<P> But yes, the Machinist is a great movie. Shyamalamamamaman, take note, THAT is how to make a mystery movie.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    well said spud

    by crashbarbarian

    the machinist is what m. knight is wishing he could do but never seems to manage

  • May 8, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    Isn't it a good thing the trailer doesn't show the great parts?

    by drewlicious

    You know, so we can be surprised for once. The latest trailer wasn't exciting because it really didn't show anything new outside of Cate Blanchetts accent. And enough with the Shia hate already, the kids got personality to spare. I could have lived without The Wild One homage, though. A biker? With that face? Right.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    ok so this talk back has taught me one thing

    by crashbarbarian

    go rent big trouble tonight!

  • May 8, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Lemmings..

    by jfp2007

    Love it when a single negative review of something like this hits and you always have some jackass near the top that says they had a sneaking suspicion it was good. It's one review ass munches. And, who the fuck could watch the trailer and conclude it was "slow." Sounds like lies and deceit on the part of the great Merrick.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    This film is bad :(

    by Darth Fart

    You guys didn't take notice of my comments in other threads. I still can't believe this film can be so bad. Nails Speilberg's popcorn business for good. Let's get back to the interesting, intense films.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    You can buy tickets online now

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I got some...and one for Shogun, so that he can see it too.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    And rule the universe...

    by spud mcspud

    ...from beyond the grave! Or check into a psycho ward, eh?<P> Jack, what? I'm supposed to buy this shit? Five hundred years and not one broad to fit the bill - come on Dave, ya must be doin' something seriously wrong!

  • May 8, 2008, 2:22 p.m. CST

    Doctor Jones! Help!!!

    by Miguel De Barioz

    These are the words that I have longed to hear since I first caught this movie on DVD last year. I couldn't believe my ear when I hear that Doctor Jones is coming back to DVD this summer in George Lucas' Indiana Jones and the Cystal Skull. I can't wait to see him beating those Nazi Russians into a fuckig pulp, pulling their Leftie innerds out with his gloved fist before shotting them between the eyes. In my country we have no heroes like Doctor Jones left. you must treasure him, he will not let you down. Hopefully they will make more than these two DVDs. Please George Lucas!

  • May 8, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    One of the greatest BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA quotes...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    ...isn't even in the movie. It's in one of the deleted scenes available on the spec-ed DVD:<P>"Okay, I get the picture. White Tigers, Lords of Death, guys in funny suits throwing plastic explosives while poison arrows fall from the sky and the pillars of heaven shake, huh? Sure. OK. I see Charlie Chan, Fu Manchu and a hundred howlin' monkey temples, and that's just for starters, right?! Fine! I'm back! I'm ready, goddammit let me at 'em!"<P>Gold.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    And how can one forget...

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    "Son of a bitch must pay."

  • May 8, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    So much for trying to get work done

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    The discussion just went political on the Josh Brolin as Dubya TB.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Big Trouble in Little China

    by Miguel De Barioz

    Yes man! I saw this movie on DVD last year! What the fuck was happening man! It was crazy messed-up shit. All the colour was hokey-cokey, the sound was zany, and what was with that dog and the dwarf man! In my village we all think that this is what life must be like in China! Crazy!

  • May 8, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    Oh, look, everyone nitpicking a Lucas/Spielberg movie to death

    by TallBoy66

    Yeah, I haven't seen THAT one before, anyway. Yeesh.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    INDY PICS!

    by codymr

    Not sure if this was already posted on this talkback, but there are new pics online: http://www.cinematical.com/photos/indiana-jones-and-the-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull/795086/

  • May 8, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    my acid washed jeans filled up with Frankenberrys.

    by finky089

    Hawaiian Organ Donor comes up with another gem

  • May 8, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Something stinks.

    by Keith Maniac

    2 reviews, one positive, one negative. Merrick picks the negative one. How clearer a picture of an agenda can you paint ?

  • May 8, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Sometimes dead is better...

    by joergn

    as the old, creepy guy used to say. Seems to be right (once again). Damn it!

  • May 8, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    Turn this TB into a BTILC Quotefest

    by finky089

    I would love to read nothing more than that, now.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Harry, please comment

    by krish-0

    Come on and show yourself. Back up Merrick for posting this bullshit review, or blast him for being a fucking idiot. Either way, make yourself heard. Don't pussy out.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    krish-o, Harry's at the gym now, remember?

    by finky089

    Just ignore Merrick and maybe his kid will go Menendez on him eventually.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Shame on Merrick & AICN for printing this shit

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Shame. Shame. Shame. This site makes me fucking sick.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Merrick's son

    by Darth Fart

    This is not for the kids, show them Transformer and other fast cutting films. This is for the adults, people who grew up watching these films.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:39 p.m. CST

    Got to love Jack Burton.

    by mrfan

    enough said.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    "David Lo Pan? DAVID???"

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    "Which Lo Pan? The eight foot tall roadblock or the little basket case on wheels?"

  • May 8, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    "I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick ass..."

    by sapno_krei

    ...and I'm all out of bubble gum."

  • May 8, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Yeah, wrong Carpenter movie.

    by sapno_krei

    Sue me.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    I found an OUTSTANDING review

    by LukePopescu73

    read this link for someone who said that this is the best of the indy Sequels http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/21/indiana-jones-4-first-review-and-14-new-photos/

  • May 8, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    OKAY .... Shit for Brains ...

    by MattHooper

    #1: The 1980's Allan Quartermain films were remakes of older adaptations of novels by H.R. Haggard (which were printed in the pulps) and were one of the many influences of Raiders of the Lost Ark to begin with. And still SHOULD influence the character and stories; at least to a moderate degree; just like all the other original influences. It just keeps stacking. And #2 ..... Yea, other than that I got nuthin'. All other points you made were notably valid.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Ok then,,,

    by togmeister

    The reviewer says the movie is 2:20, right? The movie has been certified at the BBFC today as a 12A. The running time? 2:02 Go to bbfc.org. You do the math.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Merrick, Harrrrrry... where are you???? Don't be scared

    by moto

    Stop hiding. You know you fucked up. You know you posted this shit to get more activity on your site. You know you're trying to prove to people that AICN doesn't just surf the trades for stories like every other film website. <p> Come on, guys, don't be scared. We won't hurt you. <P> Harry fully admitted back in the day that he had bullshit postings made up to draw in attention. <p> Either this is total bullshit, which I think it is because Lucas and Spielberg did not have a public screening nor would they want to let early spoilers leak out. -OR- They posted a review on one of the most anticipated moves of the summer written by some jo-schmo that they know nothing about. Merrick even admitted he didn't know anything about this guy... rather he believes it because they've heard rumblings about a screening. <p> Either way, AICN fucked up. But the "powers" that be continue to hide. <p>

  • May 8, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    I thought they said it was 2:20

    by Dogballs99

  • May 8, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Damn.

    by justy4life

    Go back and watch the trailers for the first three. Not much is shown, and the pace is about the same. I wish people would stop taking a shit on movies, even before they're released. A ton of people jump on here and bash the movie, even before it's released. At least wait until May 22. Then if the movie fails to impress, I'll be on here with everyone, bitching. I sure as hell hope they don't make a spin off series with Shia. I could handle another Indiana Jones entry, perhaps with Indiana going after Atlantis or something. I would like to say this as well. Iron Man is everything that Superman should of been. It was one of the freshest and funnest films, I've seen in years. It's comical how much the Justice League was smelling of crap. Then Marvel gets the rights to Avengers, and taunts a movie, that may be true to the characters. Just as long, as the rumors of Captain America and Matthew are false. I say Aaron Eckhart. Or even the dude from Transformers and Vegas, aka Mr. Fergie.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    But trimmed to down to just over 2 hours

    by Dogballs99

  • May 8, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    the first one wasn't even that good...

    by Rupee88

    and the second and third sucked....funny that some think this will be anything but crap.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Another Review

    by LukePopescu73

    http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/21/indiana-jones-4-first-review-and-14-new-photos/

  • May 8, 2008, 2:51 p.m. CST

    MERRICK = AICN'S DAN RATHER

    by moto

    Just saying

  • May 8, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Lucasfilm, Paramount and Speilberg won't be playing with Harry a

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Harry's gotta take the blame for this. He's let his site get hijacked by a complete lunatic with some imaginary axe to grind so he can vent spleen all over Ford, Lucas, Speilberg et al, the same way Mark Chapman had some insane grudge against John Lennon. Okay, maybe that's going to extremes, but seriously this is outrageous and really, really bad journalism. Harry speak up or get fucked.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Rupee88

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Quote: "the first one wasn't even that good..."<P>Consider your Film Fan Card...REVOKED!!!

  • May 8, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    This is Shameful

    by MacLeod1979

    First off, this is cleary one of the worst written reviews I have ever read. Heaps of shame should be piled on to AICN for even posting something so obviously fake. Shogun has not seen this movie, in fact, very few people even inside the industry have seen it. Paramount Execs and the like I am sure have seen it, but I doubt they are going to be babbling on a website about it, since they don't want to go to jail. The first real showing of Indy 4 is going to be at Cannes, which hasn't even happened yet, so posting any review this early just shows the sad gullibility of readers of AICN, and apparantly Merrick as well. Those of you are are hellbent on disliking this movie, go for it. I could care less. In fact, dont even buy a ticket to see it, because I would rather lessen the chances of sharing a theater experience with you. If you believe this review, then I am sure you fell for Hillary Clinton landing under sniper fire.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    uh oh.

    by samsquanch

  • May 8, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    MERRICK'S REPORTING = SHITTIER THAN INDY IV

    by Puddleglum

    regardless of whether this review is fact or fake, it remains FACT that MERRICK IS A DOUCHE HACK WRITER. <p> Fuck you very much.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Funny Shit Rupee88

    by LukePopescu73

  • May 8, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Funny Shit Rupee88

    by LukePopescu73

    .

  • May 8, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    A real review here: http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/21/indiana-

    by HarryBlackPotter

    Highlights: “The best of the Indy sequels.” “The film has the strongest supporting cast of the sequels.” “There are many breakneck set pieces, with a protracted jungle chase being particularly memorable. As well as being evocative of the truck chase from the first movie.” “…an ending that any longtime diehard fan of the films could only dream about. Expect a particularly resounding reaction in the theater.”

  • May 8, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    I'm dying over here

    by Hawaiian Organ Donor

    Switching back and forth between this TB and the Josh Brolin one is killing me.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    Watching you clowns stumble all over each other...

    by IndustryKiller!

    to discredit this review is like watching a monkey fucking a football. Pathetic. Just accept that not every movie you WANT to like is good, and more often then not when it comes to huge summer tentpoles, they'll be utter garbage. Everything in this review sound right in line with the flaws of the trailer and the story we've been eharing about. Deal with it. Of course many of you will try tirelessly to apologize for every little thing but, as always, you'll fail, and a bad movie will come to be known as a bad movie. Look at Transformers.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    RUPEE88 - I bet you heard that from your parents ALOT

    by Puddleglum

    you oughta-been-an-abortion loser. Fuck Indiana Jones, but Fuck You for being a DOUCHE in an INdy TB. <p> Unless you're joking. Then FUCK YOU for pulling my leg, douche!

  • May 8, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Temple of Doom

    by Dogsoldier77

    I will never understand the hatred for this movie. Short Round is probably the most realistic, least annoying child in a movie this side of the Goonies and Willie Scott isn't supposed to be like Marion. Why does every woman in an action movie have to be a raging, hear me roar, suffragette throwback? She's intentionally, tongue-in-cheek annoying, referencing the heroines of 30's and 40's action movies. And for my money, she has the best line of the movie . . . "Okay, go save him." You know the scene. Hilarious. And who can forget Mola Ram, the most insanely intimidating and evil motherfucker in cinema history? Also the mine cart chase is the best action sequence in the series.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Merrick get of your fucking high horse...

    by Bono Luthor

    "As I have suspected for some time..." Makes it sound like you were just waiting to shit all over this. I don't care if someone saw the movie and didn't like it, but when you take that editorial tone it really sticks in my throat. Been coming here for 9 years and nothing really got my goat like this before. Considering some of the SHIT that this site gets all worked up about I'll hold out my hope.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Just Got off the Phone With Megan Fox

    by FlyingToupee

    And she said she was at the screening with LeBouf, but was too busy rubbing hot oil all over her body to notice if the film was good or not.

  • May 8, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Merrick get off your fucking high horse...

    by Bono Luthor

    "As I have suspected for some time..." Makes it sound like you were just waiting to shit all over this. I don't care if someone saw the movie and didn't like it, but when you take that editorial tone it really sticks in my throat. Been coming here for 9 years and nothing really got my goat like this before. Considering some of the SHIT that this site gets all worked up about I'll hold out my hope.

  • May 8, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    ANd Merrick you're awesome, Never change

    by IndustryKiller!

    I remember when you first started reporting here I was skeptical but I'm happy to say I was dead wrong. You're one of the only editors who will tell it like it is without apologies. I think Quint is a smart guy, but he has no backbone. You've got the best of both worlds. The fact that it's unfathomable to most of these people that a big summer film could turn out to be bad even when 90% of the facts point int hat direction. That alone should tip you off that pissing them off is a step in the right direction.

  • May 8, 2008, 3 p.m. CST

    This is as fucking bad...

    by poeticwarriorII

    as I said it would be. You could tell from the trailers and that stupid as fuck Wild One homage that Shitty LeButtfuck was miscast and knew it. The fact this goddamn idiotically named Mutt character is Indy's son should tell all of you with your head buried in your ass, like Lost Jarv, that this is a shit cliche movie done by two old fuckers that are way past their prime. If you weren't worried after those horribly done prequels that this would turn out as fucked up and lost as they were your favorite place is denial. The casting of the human queef that is Shia LeFuckface is something that Sommers would have done thinking he nailed the pulse of young america with that one. Fuck those shitty prequels and fuck this shitty Indy movie. Looks like another ticket for Iron Man.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Nobody...and I mean NOBODY cheers for Ed Norton movies.

    by FlyingToupee

    Ralph Kramden would.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller! the truly sad thing is...

    by poeticwarriorII

    that all of this shit could've been avoided if the chinless fat self-indulgent fuck that is George Lucas didn't still fancy himself a writer.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    DogSoldier

    by krish-0

    Fuckin A. The mine cart chase was spectacular. I just watched ToD last week, and now I'm seriously thinking about watching it again tonight

  • May 8, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller!. Nice name. Says it all really.

    by HarryBlackPotter

    I bet you drive by movie theaters on the opening weekend and point and imaginary gun at the crowds of people queuing up.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:08 p.m. CST

    ...

    by HarryBlackPotter

    typo!

  • I smell a cover up!

  • May 8, 2008, 3:14 p.m. CST

    Im still mad about the star wars prequels

    by Darthmazda

    caught part of them on SpikeTv agin the other night. What a train wreck. I will go to my grave pissed about it.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST

    The funny thing about my name Harryblack

    by IndustryKiller!

    Is that when I made it I was not at all referring to the film industry. It's actually from a song lyric. I've had this handle for years now and let's just say that in my youth my taste in music wasn't the most sophisticated. Thankfully that's changed but the handle stuck. But honest, it has nothing to do with me hating Hollywood. Fuck I live in Hollywood, how could I hate it? Tough love I would think is more appropriate. So any criticism I have is related completely to the quality of the films that are put out and has nothing to do with bias. If they start making better genre films I'll start being less stentorian about how bad they are.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    "China is here? What the hell does that even mean?"

    by Jonah Echo

    I am also inclined to believe this isn't real, and it isn't just because I'm hoping the movie is good. It's because there really isnt any detail here that seems realistic. For instance, even in the worst of the prequels, Phantom Menace, the negative reviews praised stuff like the pod race and particularly the Ray Park/Mcgregor/Neeson lightsaber battle. If this had been a review of ANY of the last two Indy movies(both of which I like, but understand why some don't) it still would have mentioned the cool stuff like the mine cart race, or the Trials of the Grail. This review seems 100% passive, and like the trailer is being reviewed. Does anyone remember the high watermark for fake reviews here? It was another Spielberg movie, A.I. Harry, fearing spoilers, didnt read the whole review, and just posted it. Some of the fine nuggets in that one involved Teddy being put into a robot version of Thunderdome with a deadly drill robot that tore him to shreds, and claimed the movie ended with Haley Joel Osment fighting William Hurt, who happened to be wearing giant bionic arms. No lie.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:23 p.m. CST

    IndustryKiller! Good responce.

    by HarryBlackPotter

    What you just said about Tough Love made me realise I was wrong to prejudge you. Apologies.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:31 p.m. CST

    Last Crusade sucked

    by Hikaru Ichijo

    or maybe I should say I reacted to it the way this reviewer did to Crystal Skull, yet people hold it dear. The new flick will be better than most of the competition at least.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:36 p.m. CST

    Actually he's chinless...

    by poeticwarriorII

    because he's fat. He's got this strange neck fat thing going on that seems to meld his gut chest and head into one uniform mass. He's more Hutt now than man.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:39 p.m. CST

    I KNEW This Was Going To Suck Ass

    by LaserPants

    There is only one, ONE good Indy movie -- Raiders. Temple is fucking terrible, and so is Las Crusade. Looks like this one is just as bad if not worse. Too bad. Better to have left well enough alone.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    INDIANA JONES AND THE SEARCH FOR LUCAS' CHIN

    by LaserPants

    He literally doesn't have one. He's just neck and face and bad hair.

  • May 8, 2008, 3:52 p.m. CST

    Chinese have a lot of hells.

    by IronSkillet

    Any of ‘em savvy English?

  • May 8, 2008, 3:59 p.m. CST

    The reason you know this sucks

    by wash

    The trailers are horrible. Remember how Lucasfilm was able to make pretty decent trailers out Episodes 1-3? What happened here? Plus the last Indy movie was a POS, so it's not really a surprise this one is too.

  • May 8, 2008, 4:05 p.m. CST

    Wash... horrible trailers

    by MattmanReturns

    If the prequel trailers were awesome and the movies shit, maybe that means this movie will be awesome because the trailers are shit. Seriously though, I actually liked the second trailer a lot. I like that it didn't give the entire movie away, but whet my appetite.

  • May 8, 2008, 4:07 p.m. CST

    Not sure about the review

    by Stevie Grant

    I've recently rewatched all the Indy films and haven't really gotten into any of them (unlike when I was 12). The reviewer's complaint about a lack of tension or suspense for Indy and Company's lives is very troubling, because that was usually present in the action sequences and made them more interesting, but I'm hoping that alot of the disgruntlement on the interwebs about the film can be attributed to comparing movies first seen as a teenager or kid to a similar film first seen as an adult.

  • May 8, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST

    The trailers did

    by The Old New

    nothing for me. With a bad plot like that, I don't care for the same ol' set pieces.

  • May 8, 2008, 4:10 p.m. CST

    FlyingToupee - Megan Fox

    by spud mcspud

    Stop prickteasing me, beeyatch!

  • May 8, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Ok I just hopped over here and noticed....

    by Underoos Hero

    Some of you folks have stolen my funnies from the other Indy TB. I'll take it as a compliment I guess.

  • May 8, 2008, 4:27 p.m. CST

    I cant believe I just read this whole talkback.

    by Smashing

    My eyes hurt, Lost Jarv let the Jones/Quartermaine argument die, please. I'm excited for this film, bad review or not, sure it will be weird seeing a Indiana Jones film again after so long but it sounds like there keeping it respectful and in Spielberg I mostly trust.<P>Why is there not a lot of fuss over Connery's character being killed off screen?, seems a little pointless to be so specific.

  • May 8, 2008, 4:28 p.m. CST

    The Phantom Menacing Of Indiana Jones

    by LaserPants

    Actually started in the 80s with the release of Temple of Doom (which sucked almost as bad as Terminator 2).

  • May 8, 2008, 4:51 p.m. CST

    DGDB When I stood up and my eyes would not refocus.

    by Smashing

    I really, nearly fell over, I'm a little toasted too and have been here for like over an hour.<P> This has been a cool and passionate talkback, who knew the old professor had so many hard core fans, I'm still excited about his return, though I also loved Die hard 4.0 and Transformers so slay me.<P>Now I'm going to watch Sex and the City.

  • May 8, 2008, 4:51 p.m. CST

    An example of the credibility of past reviews...

    by Jonah Echo

    The A.I. review I mentioned. Give it a look. It's insane, and clearly fake even before the movie released. And the updated "fake" wasnt put on til days after it was posted. http://aintitcool.com/node/9167

  • May 8, 2008, 5:01 p.m. CST

    Crap

    by Lu2k

    I dont believe this, this guy only mentions things we already know, and which we have already seen in the trailers and screenshots. Just give us one tiny bit of new spoilers or something else and I might believe it. This is complete bullshit.

  • May 8, 2008, 5:04 p.m. CST

    Damn, I hope not

    by BizarroJerry

    If this is a movie I don't like, I'll be extremely disappointed. I can handle superhero letdowns and Transformers, but I hope George and Steve didn't screw this one up. I loved the older flicks.

  • May 8, 2008, 5:15 p.m. CST

    I never had my fist in the air

    by hallmitchell

    When this film was announced. I won't be going. I had a bad feeling about this film. Shia - annoying. George Lucas - Very out of form. Steven - Outside Munich his last six movies have sucked.

  • May 8, 2008, 5:21 p.m. CST

    http://tinyurl.com/4mdzmp

    by CarmillaVonDoom

    That is all. ☺

  • May 8, 2008, 5:22 p.m. CST

    Oh and Kate Capshaw is what sucked about TOD

    by CarmillaVonDoom

    What a star-fucker she was, the Heather Mills of her day.

  • May 8, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    CarmillaVonDoom

    by finky089

    what the heck was that? I circular link back to this page?

  • May 8, 2008, 6:04 p.m. CST

    Kate Capshaw may have sucked...

    by poeticwarriorII

    but man did she have a sweet pair of tits in the day!! Truth be known, I'd still drop the back end outta that lady if I got the chance.

  • May 8, 2008, 6:09 p.m. CST

    I'm surprised George...

    by poeticwarriorII

    hasn't come out with a food making machine yet. The George Lucas Pasta Machine or the GL Deep Fat Fryer with a pic of a fat ass Darth Vader on the side of it and a special Luke Skywalker Donut maker.

  • May 8, 2008, 6:21 p.m. CST

    T.I.E Fryers?

    by Smashing

    Don't be giving Lucas any ideas.

  • May 8, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST

    ShogunMaster's proof to Greenstyke92

    by ShogunMaster

    MAJOR SPOILERS INCLUDING THE END. DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW HOW IT CONCLUDES. What's the deal with the pale jumping dude indy hits with the shovel? <B> Those guys were hidden in the Peruvian caves. They were protecting the clues to the site where the Skull had to be taken. <br> When in the film does Indy ride on the back of Sam Witwicky's motorcycle and what's the context for it? This is right after we see Mutt's introduction. There is a big scene with this chase where Indy is pulled from the bike into a car, punches the guys in the car, and then jumps out onto the bike out the opposite window. <B> What actually happens when the crystal skull is returned to the temple? There are 12 full crystal alien bodies and the 13th is missing it's head. When the skull is placed on the neck the aliens begin to merge into one live one (the Encounters Alien). Indy and crew run away, Cate dies while trying to get a psycho link with it, and then as the pyramid temple is destroyed a UFO flies away. <B> Hopefully that will end your worries about my credibility. This was a Trade Screening through Paramount. I've forwarded my invite to Merrick to confirm. No BS review.

  • May 8, 2008, 6:28 p.m. CST

    dont tell me you people didnt expect this

    by Fineus Fog

    I form the get go was excited to see Indy again but knew deep in my heart that it wont be the same. The problem is - this film has been given a crap review BUT it's probably miles better than Pirates 7, Spiderman 8 and Shrek 1,000,000 put together. Hopefully Spielberg just gives us 2 hours of entertainment - nothnig more nothing less. Roll on July 17th - The Knight is coming....

  • May 8, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Could swear I saw Shia's nipple in the trailer?

    by DANNYGLOVERS-DICKBLOODS

    Can anyone who went to this so-called "screening" confirm Shia-nipple-action? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we get the "whole Lebouf"!

  • May 8, 2008, 7:24 p.m. CST

    i call bullsh*t

    by joel007

    Funny how all these reviews have no info other than what is out there as spoilers on the web. Truly fascinating. In addition, if this douchebag actually did see the movie and so badly wanted to unload on it, as he clearly does, what... he waits a couple days to do it? My ass smells better.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:28 p.m. CST

    Awesome Spoiler, ShogunMaster.

    by NoDiggity

    Thanks! I was expecting something more awesome and less silly, and now my expectations are properly and thoroughly deflated. Had I encountered that ending raw, my outrage would have ruined the whole evening for me. Now I have a chance of enjoying a goofy ass piece of shit.

  • May 8, 2008, 7:56 p.m. CST

    In other news....

    by SubliminalJones

    Merrick presents the first 7 minutes of Speed Racer online, after throwing Indiana Jones under the bus. Merrick's son has dubbed the melted starburst eyefuck footage "sublime".

  • May 8, 2008, 8:22 p.m. CST

    YOU ARE NOT TEN

    by joel007

    anymore. This movie will not make you feel like you did when you were ten. Get the hell over it. This is the prequels all over again. Thirty year olds weeping for the fact a movie didn't hit them like it did when they were in short pants. Just watch the damn movie, like it or don't, but for chrissake stop expecting to find Jesus in your popcorn on May 22.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:23 p.m. CST

    It's Indy and The Fonz

    by jocutus

    That's what goes through my mind when I see them together in the trailer. And they're searching for Chuck, The long lost and forgotten fifth Cunningham, who went off to college and disappeared with a skull made of crystal. Still hoping for a good movie here.

  • May 8, 2008, 9:24 p.m. CST

    MR Jones??

    by s8ntmark

    Any Indy fan worth his salt knows its DR Jones!

  • May 8, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    Smashing...

    by poeticwarriorII

    Hahaha, you should invent and market that. You couldn't go wrong.

  • May 9, 2008, 12:16 a.m. CST

    why am i not surprised

    by slkboxrman

    just surprised it came from merrick i guess..... "my 14 yr old son said THAT LOOKED SLOW" .....i always say if u have an opinion and ur proud of it, say it....dont add in other people that are basically sayin what u want to say but figure it makes ur statement more credible if it has backup....jeeezus...are u 14 yourself ? .... next girl i bang im gonna ask my left testicle what he thought about her rack.. lol

  • May 9, 2008, 12:18 a.m. CST

    leobloom

    by slkboxrman

    LMAO ....classic dude...my thought exactly

  • May 9, 2008, 2:42 a.m. CST

    Unsurprised silktxtrman agrees with a 14 year old

    by Lost Jarv

    as he clearly is one. <P>Smashing- I did let the Quatermain argument go fucking ages ago- if you look I kept responding to assholes by reposting DGDB's smackdown. <P>Spud- There's plenty of us with love for terrible movies- we're a hidden minority. I feel you are very nearly ready for a conversion to the true path offered by the church of chang. <P>Poeticwarrior- go and fuck yourself you eeyore eyed tosspiece. I said, explicitly that I'm cautiously optimistic about this. I haven't got my head buried in my ass because to misquote trainspotting Spielberg has been on a dizzying downward spiral since before hook, George Lucas may as well don a dog collar, pick up a packet of sweets and wear a cheeky smile, and ford hasn't made anything good in ages. If this sucks I will say so. What is fucking me off, hugely is the unedifying spectacle of sad, misreable souless geeks like yourself, Industrykiller, Nodiggity and plenty of others who are climbing over each other to bury this based on one dubious review and a shit trailer. It's revoltingly smug and is making me feel quite naseous. What do you want? a gold medal from TB-dom with "O all powerful filmic nostradamus , please tell me what I should watch from now until eternity." Or maybe you should approach this hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst. And I loathed Transformers before any of you pin it on me. <P>Doc- so he is, I'd forgotten that. His opinion holds less water than a colander. <P>JACK BURTON!!!!!!

  • May 9, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    Damn you, George Lucas!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Damn you!

  • May 9, 2008, 3:51 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv, you may not believe this BUT ...

    by NoDiggity

    ... I just watched the latest trailer again on YouTube (with Ford's voiceover about the Crystal Skull) and it made me feel all happy again. I've even seen Shogun's post of the ending of the movie, and all it's made me want to do is see it for myself. And this interview with Spielberg and Lucas made me smile. (it's the one with the infamous rant from Lucas, but it comes off funnier in context) <br><br> http://tinyurl.com/6rg8rk <br><br> OR<p> http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20192282,00.html <p> (remove the spaces AICN inserts into links in talkback)

  • May 9, 2008, 4:06 a.m. CST

    And I'll just say I told you so

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    I knew this movie was going to be total shit.

  • May 9, 2008, 4:18 a.m. CST

    GabbaUK...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... there have been at least three screenings, and they are not for Paramount only. They were exhibitor's screenings for bookers and other theater chain staff.

  • May 9, 2008, 4:18 a.m. CST

    OK diggers, I believe you.

    by Lost Jarv

    And another eeyore crawls out of the woodwork. <P>After the apocalypse all that will survive will be fucking cockroaches and misreable hard-on sporting bastards saying "knew this would happen. Told you so".

  • May 9, 2008, 4:18 a.m. CST

    OK diggers, I believe you.

    by Lost Jarv

    And another eeyore crawls out of the woodwork. <P>After the apocalypse all that will survive will be fucking cockroaches and misreable hard-on sporting bastards saying "knew this would happen. Told you so". <P>The reason it bugs me is what exactly fo you want me to say if it is shite? "So you did, happy now?"

  • May 9, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    Even after the apocalypse

    by Abominable Snowcone

    there will be a pencil jihad for nonbelievers

  • May 9, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Just looked at some Indy pictures

    by Abominable Snowcone

    on a local news site--I'm sure you've seen them before. I like the photo of Shia (Mutt) trying to defend Marion (probably his mom) from an advancing army of spear-wielding indians with...a switchblade. Also there were a couple good behind the scene shots. One with Lucas in a "Han Shot First" T-shirt (and he's talking to Harrison, no less). Another good one of the cast watching some stuff they shot, and Blanchett (in Spalka attire) is smiling broadly. Nice to know she was having fun. It's a nice smile.

  • May 9, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    The apocalyspe shall come in the form of #2 pencils

    by Lost Jarv

    raining from the sky, before a titanic battle between the god 2true and the fallen angel Queefer shall extinguish all light. <P>Burt'll be OK because he always is prepared and shall have a divine flashlight.

  • May 9, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    860th!!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Yay!

  • May 9, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    "still seeing it..."

    by C00L DUD3

    seriously...I mean; we're talking Indy here!!? It's a good thing that he references Star Wars, because just like all of the haters for those flicks, this sounds like a fan-boy rant/vendetta. One bad apple isn't going to ruin the bunch for me. That most recent trailer looked sweet and I can't wait...

  • May 9, 2008, 10:07 a.m. CST

    Fucking Idiots.

    by justy4life

    Here's an idea, a mere suggestion for you cum guzzlin ass clowns. If you don't like Indiana Jones and never did. Then don't come on an Indiana Jones talk back. I'm amazed that a few fucking idiots, have called Raiders of the Lost Ark garbage. Again, a few of you people are fucking idiots. Why not go into The Hobbit talk back? Or something more up your liking, like a Uwie Boll or Speedracer movie. For Christ sakes, the movie hasn't even came out. Shut the fuck up, until it does.

  • May 9, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Of course it sucks

    by Luscious.868

    George Lucas was involved. This movie would have rocked with Darabont's script, but Lucas had to get involved and fuck it up. I hope it fails and I won't pay money to see it. Fuck George Lucas.

  • May 9, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    George Lucas is paranoid bcoz were want to KILL HIM

    by fisheater

    Fuck him, Fuck his ranch and his fukn farm animals that he likes 2 fuck while he's fukn spielberg in the face with a fukn lightsabre dildo covered in fukn chocolate pig pussy juice. does lucas have a fukn ass rapin kiddy fidler ewok rapin email address?

  • May 9, 2008, 11:37 a.m. CST

    DF

    by Potsy

    TBers are an interesting lot. I’ve been looking forward to this movie since I was twelve, and I’ll admit that the early reviews (particularly the ones coming through Moriarty) have me nervous. I sincerely hope they’re wrong. Despite that, I’ll never understand why someone would take glee in the fact that a lot of people might be disappointed. It’s a weird thing to get off on. Sometimes I scratch my head and wonder what kind of person would actually waste their time that way? For example, I have no desire to see Speed Racer. I think it looks stupid, I didn’t like the cartoon, I didn’t like the Matrix movies, and I’m not a particularly big fan of Emile Hirsch. Be that as it may, I don’t hope the movie will be bad or Speed Racer fans will be disappointed. No matter what: one thing I WON’T and DON’T do, is waste my time reading posts about the movie or post on a thread about it. Hell, I don’t even open the articles. I don’t care enough about the movie to do that. It’s safe to say that Lucas and Spielberg will get money from everyone who posted on this thread…particularly the folks who cared enough to post multiple times. They’ve got your attention now, and they’ll still have it in another two weeks.

  • May 9, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Posty

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Spielberg could have said, "We're makin' Indy 4. Sign up now!" and I'd have opened my wallet and thrown money at him. In two weeks, I will throw money at him, albeit indirectly. Indy had me at "Stay outta the light."

  • May 9, 2008, 12:39 p.m. CST

    Potsy, that's far too reasoned an attitude

    by just pillow talk

    Abom....agreed!

  • May 9, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    My Review Of The New INDIANA JONES.....

    by thelordofhell

    Cereal. Kellogs' Limited Edition Indiana Jones Cereal At first I was waiting in anticipation for the new cereal. After all, it seems to have the best parts of two of the most popular cereals in the line (Cocoa Puffs with Marsmallow Bits), and by looking at the preview on the box, it appears to be quite delicious. My taste buds were prepared for what must be a flavor paradise. I mean, this cereal is being made by the titans of the worlds' cereal makers. You would think that these genuises of the genre would not put out a cereal that would disappoint. I was wrong. The flavorless cocoa puffs get soggy fast and taste like pieces of mush in the mouth. The marshmallows suffer from the same blandness as well as looking for the most part like rotten eggs. It's just amazing that I was snookered by the familiar look of this cereal just by looking at the box and the name, it just wasn't the same experience as the other cereals. Shame on the cereal makers for playing with my emotions. My rating: 2 stars **

  • May 9, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Kurt

    by ShogunMaster

    I agree with you, the aliens, Area 51, Soviets and Skulls SHOULD have been a good idea. The plot itself wasn't what I had a problem with. It was the execution of the whole thing. It just didn't flow right. And the characters never really click (except for the introduction to Marion half way through). With all of the previous Indy's, the inplausible stuff worked because you were close to the characters and wanted to see how they could pull it off. The other thing was that Indy was always really cool, but challenge would come up that even he shocked with. This one he seems like he's pretty ok with everything. Marion, though fiesty, used to be scared and needed his help (as reluctant as she was to want it). This time she just has an inane grin like it's all just same old for her. That takes all of the tension out of the movie. I really wanted to like this one, but it's just not that great...

  • May 10, 2008, 1:10 a.m. CST

    I'm in the NewYork Times!!

    by ShogunMaster

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/10/movies/10indy.html?_r=2&ref=movies&oref=slogin&oref=slogin I think Merrick already showed him proof of my authenticity first, but Michael Cieply called me up and now I'm in the New York Times!! Ahh, the glory of 5 minutes of fame...

  • May 10, 2008, 2:58 a.m. CST

    i get it 50's = coldwar / aliens, still stupid

    by fisheater

  • May 10, 2008, 4:01 a.m. CST

    They waited too long to do this movie.

    by AnnoyYou

    Um - shouldn't Indy's son be like, 30, instead of LeBeouf's 18? Ford is just too damn old for the role now -- this movie should have been done at least 10 years ago. This is going to turn out exactly like that crappy movie Ford did with Josh Hartnett a couple of years ago - teaming him with a young "heartthrob" isn't going to redeem this film at all. They should have done it when Ford was still a credible age or left it alone altogether.

  • May 11, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    Who the eff is "Labeef" ??

    by Blok Narpin

    ?

  • May 11, 2008, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Allan Quarterman<p>Sharon Stone interracial rape scene

    by jbs0209

    The only thing I remember about Allan Quaterman was the interracial rape scene involving Sharon Stone.<p> And me wondering if she was getting anally raped based on the angle and the look on her face.<p> mmm, pre-Cinamax/Internet days. Not that Allan Quaterman was representative of that, but it was in the Showtime soft-porn era. Good times then.

  • May 15, 2008, 6 a.m. CST

    Ah, so what?

    by spud mcspud

    Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Indiana Jones, but if they fuck this up, it won't exactly be unexpected, know what I mean? Lucas has form for fucking up arguably the greatest franchise of all time, and Spielberg just doesn't care any more - how lazy was WOTW?<P> Now if they fucked up a sequel to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA or BUCKAROO BANZAI - the pillars of heaven would shake, and the Spud would open his vault of whup-ass upon the studios, who shall tremble at his tuberous wrath...<P> Still want to see a porn Indy: IN DIANA JONES. WHEN?!?!?

  • May 15, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Allan Quatermain an Indy knockoff? Idiot.

    by denzacar

    I thought "What the hell, lets read what this guy has to say...". And I've read up until he mentions Allan Quatermain and compares him to Indy calling Quatermain a knockoff. There I've just decided to ignore the troll with a hearty "AAaah, FUCK OFF!". Any idiot with access to Google can find out WHEN was Quatermain's character written, played by various actors and even reimagined by Alan Moore for League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Which was, again, made into a not so good a movie. Mister Shogun or whatever his name is, by failing to realize above mentioned character's involvement in film and literary works of past two centuries, has degraded himself from "Hey, lets give him a benefit of a doubt" level to a "Look at me! I am ignorant prepubescent teen flaming a famous character to compensate for the lack of sexual experience.". FUCK OFF! Go find a kindergarten kid and impress him with your wisdom and greatness.

  • May 16, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    Thankfully: Honesty

    by vestaxwax

    not more reviews by paid shills. this preview is pretty nasty too: eattheblinds.blogspot.com

  • May 16, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    Attention: Drudge Report, CNN, and Media In General

    by ryanislyin

    For those of you not familiar with the ways of this (as well as any other movie rumor) website, please take what ShogunMaster, and all the "Talkbackers" and reviewers with a grain of salt. The lure of "famous anonymity" is strong, and anybody with an ISP can submit emails with "super-secret-private-screening" reviews. At first, years before now, I was thrilled to find out there was a sub-class of movie enthusiasts interested in exposing minute details about all sorts of activities in the film industry. Nowadays, unfortunately, I think this site ruins the industry more than it supports it. As amazing as such films as Iron Man was (I just got back from a screening today), I cannot imagine how much more genuine and fantastic it would have been had I not logged on to this site. With spoilers, comes people who want to spoil. No, I haven't seen Indiana Jones yet, but I (and I hope you) do not put much stock in any of the reviews on this site any longer. Harry Knowles, god bless him, is a compromised individual. What started off as a labor of love now pays the bills, and this site, along with Moriarty, Massawyrm and company, profiteer from sitting atop the ivory tower they once fought to topple. Any reviews you read here are riddled by ulterior motives.

  • May 17, 2008, 10:05 p.m. CST

    denzacar

    by ShogunMaster

    Someone else attacked me about the Alan Quatermain reference too, and I really don't get how you guys got so lost in the interpretation. In my review, do you remember how I was talking about the Indiana Jones Books? No? Then why would you think I was referencing the Quatermain books? The Q movies were brought out as a rip off of the Indy movies as a similar style action hero. <p> Ryanislyin, just so you know, I was not paid by anyone, I was not asked by anyone for my review, and Aintitcool only posted my review because it was the first one out. The ulterior motives that you refer to do not exist in this case. People wanted to find out if the movie was good or not, they posted a review that people wanted to read; it's kind of their job. <p> Anyway, it's playing in Cannes now so you can read more about it then and see what they think. But it really doesn't matter. In the end, you're still going to watch it and make your own opinions; whether you agree with mine or not...

  • May 22, 2008, 7:33 p.m. CST

    Nice work betraying your access to a trade screening

    by Arteska

    What a wonderful employee and person to be in business with. Good luck with not having it bite you in the ass.