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Cpt. Wiggin Dethrones PRINCE CASPIAN!!

Merrick here...
Cpt. Wiggin, who has reviewed for us before, took the time to send in this look at THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN. The headline of the article pretty much sums up where he's coming from, but read on for some interesting insight on the film which opens May 16. I believe this is the first review we've run of the film. The AICN search engine is heinously inefficient...so I'm not 100% certain of this...but I'm pretty sure.
Here's Cpt. Wiggin...
Caught a Prince Caspian screening once upon a time and thought I’d impart my thoughts, if interested. I caution all to bear in mind this review is strictly from a layman’s point of view as I’ve read no further than the first book. Consider me the common viewer. In other words, the minority of you bloodthirsty to hear a rant and rave about every nitpicking detail off from the original material, go ahead and hit the backspace button, minimize your screen and continue playing W.o.W. in your parents basement for the rest of the weekend, downing your Red Bulls with Chad Kroeger’s “Hero” blaring in the headphones. To give an even broader sense of my point of view I’ll begin by quickly declaring my love for the first Narnia. I thought the cinematography and effects were gorgeously perfectly fit. The intro of the Blitz invasion over London was astounding and set the tone. Harry Gregson-Williams score (a little out of his element at that time) was flawless. And I thought all four kids were perfect in each of their major debut roles with Peter as the struggling leader, Susan the voice of reason and common sense, Edmund the ass and Lucy as the heart of the movie. Must I mention Ra’s Al Gul’s unblemished voice acting? Eh no. Needless to say I loved everything about it. A year’s time has elapsed since our four heroes journeyed through the mysterious wardrobe and into the land of Narnia, killing two birds with one stone in restoring the Christmas holiday spirit and saving the kingdom from being overrun by the White Witch and her dilapdated zoo creatures of horror. But one year in the real world equals 1,300 in Narnia time and lo and behold, as history has a nasty habit of repeating itself, when no good thing lasts forever, and when a sequel is needed for continued box office revenue, Narnia’s utopian-ness will yet again find itself hinging in the balance steadiness! Chaos erupts when King Miraz attempts to steal the throne from his nephew, Prince Caspian, the true destine to reign over a crumbling Narnia. Family quarrels are always so inconvenient, fantasy or non. Caspian barely escapes with his life intact and stumbles upon the sole surviving band of Narnians left who still dream of the golden era. Restoration must prevail! And with the help of the last of the Narnians, and the aid of the legendary Pevensie kiddies whom he summons with Lucy’s horn, once more war will be waged in attempt to restore the balance! I downright hated this movie and I’ll tell you why. As is any case with any story being told, the character development is always key. Surprisingly this was one of the greatest flaws in this installment, specifically amongst the four children. I understand the origins of these characters were clearly established in the previous film, but here there are new layers to develop. They’re older, and struggling with the reality of being kids again. Furthermore they’re culture shocked in adjusting from residing in between both worlds as royalty and saving the world in one and common citizens in the other. But this strong element is never really expanded upon and the characters all seem as bland as Top Ramen uncooked. Perhaps due to the Macaulay Culkin syndrome of outgrowing ones role? In any case, there’s a real lack of emotion portrayed that creates difficulty for the audience to connect and show symptom of concern for. Their desire to save Narnia seems to be because, dang it, that’s the right thing to do, and if they did it once, they should probably do it again. Nothing more dramatic or heartfelt. Shocking. The execution of the plot was dry. It was outright boring. Way too many aspects were focused on that were unnecessary to the development of the story. WARNING! SPOILER AHEAD! I swear, for example there’s one point where Lucy thinks she sees Aslan for the first time upon their return, but he vanishes before the others get a chance. Then a fifteen minute subplot kicks in on pondering the idea of whether or not she really did indeed see the frikin Lion! END SPOILER. I feel the overall slow pace will be a great hindrance on the younger targeted audience, especially the Ritalin induced. There’s even a very interesting tension element that erupts between Peter and Caspian over leadership conflict that could have been amazing if carried out with much more intensity and focus. Oh well. The villain, King Miraz, appearing as a dubbed down weaksauce version of King Leonidas from 300 with a Jack Sparrow earring was a joke. I thought the White Witch was a real ruthless biznatch. Here you get a bitter king who roams around every once in a while, throws a temper tantrum here and there and slaps a face or two before vanishing into the shadows until his next scene. He’s more of an asshat than an asshat to be feared, and placing weak villains in epic storylines is like popping cyanide capsules. Especially in fantasy. The humor was another ingredient that left a sour taste. I honestly think the scenes I laughed hardest at were scenes not intended to be humorous, which is usually a bad thing. But I will give credit the little swashbuckling mouse with a feather sticking out of his ear. He was without a doubt the funniest aspect of the movie and stole every scene he was in. His character and mannerisms almost felt as an ode to Puss In Boots, which would make sense as Andrew Adamson did Shrek 1 and 2 before moving on to the Narnia films. But onto Ben Barnes as the titled prince whom I purposely saved for last. From the little I saw of the promos beforehand I feared he would equal the equivalent of the typical flaming fairy floundering a sword set-up that for example contributed to one of the countless flaws in Stardust last year in my opinion. But his performance here caught me a bit off guard. He played his role very well. He is royalty, but he’s not a power mongering jerkoff like his uncle. Quite the contrary. There’s a real sense of inner humbleness mingled with deep courage and strength, that much is evident and clearly portrayed. I just wish there was more he had to work with and a much better back story to give his character solid substance. His performance could have been capitalized on much more that what was banked, which I blame on directing. But he also gets + 2 kudo points for mimicking his Spanish accent after Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride. That’s just cool. Overall I’m genuinely disheartened. I wish I could say maybe Voyage of the Dawn Treader could mop up the mess. But quite frankly I have little faith as the third installment which for whatever reason that completely boggles my mind was given to a guy who’s done mainly tv shows, a wack Bond movie, that one Val Kilmer movie nobody remembers and Enough, one of J-Los many masterpieces in film to date. One can only hope. As Aslan quotes, “Things never happen the same way twice.” Unfortunately he was right when it came to this installment meeting the high standard that was established by the first. It missed by a long shot, and it saddens me greatly. Stamp of denial. Peace/East G’s.


Readers Talkback
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  • May 2, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    I didn't even like the first one

    by binary

    Thought the CGI was so bad as to actively detract from the story. So if someone comes along and says this one doesn't live up to the "high standard" of the first one that's all the confirmation I need that it'll be a stinking turd.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    First to say...

    by Dogma_Jedi

    Dang

  • May 2, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    I barely remember The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe

    by crazyhorse2099

    It was entirely forgettable. This looks even moreso.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    Slow Day...

    by Underoos Hero

    I guess everyone's in line for Iron Man.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:16 a.m. CST

    crazyhorse2099

    by Underoos Hero

    I told someone that the other night. I honestly don't remember anything from that movie. BOOOO.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    AICN search engine...

    by jameshardy

    ... is particularly inept.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Oh dear

    by Col. Tigh-Fighter

    That doesnt sound good, does it?

  • May 2, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    The spoiler scene he mentions above...

    by godric

    It takes up like two chapters in the book. And though it's not a battle or anything like that, it kind of makes up one of the core messages of this book in the series. I was worried they'd cut it. I'm glad it's in there.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    The Lion Witch and The Wardrobe...

    by Underoos Hero

    Was just not a good movie at all. Now Lemony Snickett on the other hand was the shit. Great movie.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    I can't imagine this is as bad as this reviewer believes

    by Trazadone

    I could take the Narnia films or leave them, but the trailer looks like a lot of fun. This will be a huge hit.

  • ...which is why I hate the original Spider-Man.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:22 a.m. CST

    Don't really care much for Prince Caspian

    by KnightShift

    I'm pretty sure they're only trying to get it out of the way per the ages of the child actors, so they can then move on to the much better chapters of the story. Bring on The Last Battle!

  • May 2, 2008, 8:22 a.m. CST

    They'll still get my $10

    by dr sauch

    I mean, it can't be THAT bad...

  • May 2, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    This will not be a huge hit

    by Ladonite

    Not everybody loved the first flick, just a bunch of kids who begged their parents to take them repeatedly. The parents are out of money now, and so the kids won't see this one more than once. Andrew Adamson isn't that great a director, sadly.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Trazadone

    by Underoos Hero

    I agree on the Spiderman point. Thought I was the only one.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST

    Wardrobe was terrible

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Empty, vacuous, CG-drenched, bland crap. The spirit of the book was completely missing.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Plant!

    by Whitemouse

    what?

  • May 2, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    Trazadone, Underoos

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Count me in, CG on Spidey was dreadful. I'm thinking of the Green Goblin flting jerkily around. Terrible.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    Serious note...

    by Whitemouse

    I'm not sure on the Narnia series, I didn't really enjoy them as a kid and the first film...felt a bit "meh" (bad word I know) and Caspian is a weaker book than Lion, Witch, etc. So count me out double time. Also I rewatched Shrek and Shrek 2...my god were we blind? Those films aren't as good as I remember

  • May 2, 2008, 8:29 a.m. CST

    kwisatzhaderach

    by Underoos Hero

    We should start a Spider-Man movie hate club and stuff. I am a HUGE Spider-Man fan. Could not get enough SM anything growing up. The movies were complete let downs. And I know it's been said before, but goddamn that Power Rangers fuck tard Green Goblin and his stupid cheap Halloween Haunted House voice.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    Perfect tone set by first score:

    by therealkumar

    A tone of shit.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Do you like anything Underoos?

    by Lost Jarv

    seriously? <P>Not that I particularly like Spiderman, but I'm utterly unsurprised to see you hate it.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Underoos

    by kwisatzhaderach

    You're not wrong. The face-off between Spidey and Goblin, where both actors mouths are covered by masks and clearly not mouthing the right dialogue was pathetic. The closest we got to a good Spiderman movie is Jim Cameron's attempt.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Underoos Hero, kwisatzhaderach

    by Trazadone

    It's funny, when Spider-Man first came out I got really slammed on these boards when I expressed a negative opinion about it. I'm happy to hear that some others feel the same way. I thought the CG looked a bit better in Spider-Man 2, but for some reason it was bad again in Spider-Man 3! I remember that my heart sank during the very first scene when we see a poorly animated Spider-Man swinging through the city. I mean, Superman flying in the original Superman (1979) still looks pretty good, so why is it that 3 decades later they can't make a convincing Spider-man?

  • May 2, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Flaming Fairy?

    by geekzapoppin

    Nice. Die in a fire, homophobe.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    The first film is one of the greatest fantasy films ever,

    by Sith Witch

    in my opinion. My eyes literally tear up every time I watch it. I've always been a huge fan of the book, and I felt it was captured onscreen perfectly. Prince Caspian can't come quick enough!

  • May 2, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    Prince Caspian was always my least favorite...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...of the books. And I LOVED the books...read them at least half a dozen times as a kid, but I always just plowed through Prince Caspian to get to Voyage of the Dawn Treader...

  • May 2, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Trazadone

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Yeah, the CG on Spidey 2 was much better, particularly the train sequence. But the CG on 3 was dreadful, just like watching a cartoon.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Screw the Ritalin generation ...

    by jae683

    screw them to hell and back. They're the reason we get so many crap movies these days. Give a movie any kind of emotional depth or character development, and they get whiny 'bored.'

  • May 2, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Oh, and I hated Spiderman too...except that...

    by FlickaPoo

    ...discovering his sticky white web masturbatory scene on the rooftop.....that was funny as hell.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    best part about 1st one was the SNL skit

    by palewook

    which was unrelated other than a partial title.. <p>We’re bout to get taken to a <p>dream world of magic with… <p>the Chronic (what?) <p>Cles of Narnia <p>Yes, the Chronic (what?) <p>Cles of Narnia <p>We love that Chronic (what?) <p>Cles of Narnia <p>Pass that Chronic (what?) <p>Cles of Narnia

  • May 2, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    The mother's basement joke is old.

    by beastie

    True. But old. I don't live in my mother's basement or play WoW, but the joke is old. Let's all work on a better jab at geeks.</p><p>Anyway, despite feeling so-so about the first movie, I'm really rooting for this to be good. I hope this guy is wrong. I'm gonna go read his other reviews now.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST

    Why the hate...

    by Darth WickedChicken

    on basement dwelling WoW players?

  • May 2, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST

    Hmmm

    by filmcoyote

    I hated LW&W but he loved it, and goes so far as to praise the terrible terrible child actors. Is this the reaction of a rational human being or a person so in love with a film his expectations couldn't be met. A fan of the 1st says this is a turd? If i think it is as bad compared to the first as he does then it must be Date Movie/Destiny Turns On the Radio/ Mary Reilly bad. Wow! Oh, and i hope when he says he only read the 1st book he means Magician's Nephew not LW&W.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Anyone know which Bible story this one is based on?

    by beastie

    Never read the books and I'm just curious.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Lost Jarv

    by Underoos Hero

    ahahha....Yes I actually really like a lot of movies. I'm a big movie fan. THat's why i get on these TB's and shoot the shit. I think that what you are seeing is me slamming a few movies ALL of the time...ie...BB, Spider-Man, LWATW today....etc. You get the point.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Adamson

    by kwisatzhaderach

    just isn't a particularly inspired director. LW&W just felt like an opportunity to make money off the back of the success of Lord of the Rings. The Narnia books are childrens fairytales, they should have been handled in a completely different tone. And I just keep thinking about all the horrible daylight CG battle sequences. Ugh.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    I think you mean Michael Apted

    by Fuckles

    As in the same director who has helmed every installment of the "Up" series, arguably one of the most important contributions to documentary film-making in history. And let's not forget his other masterful documentary, "Incident at Oglala," a film that inspired the song "Freedom" by Rage Against the Machine. And he's directed some pretty solid features as well, including "Gorillas in the Mist" and "Coal Miner's Daughter." Oh, and his so-called forgotten film starring Val Kilmer is called "Thunderheart" and it's pretty damn good and memorable in my book. If Apted is helming the third film installment of this series, I'm actually interested in finally checking out this trilogy. While I agree that the man has made a few clunkers (his Bond film was a major disappointment), for a serviceable director, he's quite strong. I don't mean to be a dick to Cpt. Wiggins, I just thought his comment was ignorant and purposively narrow to support his argument.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Beastie:

    by Sith Witch

    It's not based on a Bible story. The LTWTW set up Aslan as Creator/Saviour of Narnia, and that's about as far as the story ever again touches on Christian allegory.

  • May 2, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    End of the Allegory?

    by geekzapoppin

    I'll admit that most of the rest of the series is far less of an allegory than the first one, but The Last Battle is going to be downright unfilmable because of its didacticism.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:03 a.m. CST

    "the cinematography and effects were gorgeously perfectly fit."

    by godzillasushi

    I'm impressed he managed to insult anyone playing WoW and at the same time laid positive comments at the feet of the first movie. I think someone needs to go look at the first movie's effects one more time. "I feel the overall slow pace will be a great hindrance on the younger targeted audience, especially the Ritalin induced." Aren't you a part of that group, since clearly you got bored? Eh, whatever.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    geekzapoppin: Well, yeah but...

    by Sith Witch

    You're talking about the last chapter or two. The Last Battle is a pretty spooky psychedelic romp through inter-dimensions if I remember right.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    I understand he said he's never read it...

    by keyserSOZE

    but still, to say that Reepicheep is an ode to the Shrek version of Puss in Boots? Seriously? You don't even have to have read the book to realize that's not remotely the case, considering how long ago this freakin' book was written. From this review, sounds like it is pretty damn faithful to the book.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    Sith Witch

    by geekzapoppin

    You are 100% correct, but the last section is pretty vital to bringing the entire series to a close. Plus, you have to remember that this is Disney we're talking about. A "spooky psychedelic romp" that ends with the Revelation doesn't exactly spell box office gold. According to Jim Hill (so take that for what it's worth) Disney is thinking about shutting down the series after the next one anyway.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST

    The horn...

    by Darth Dean

    was Susan's.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    Bring on the Dawn Treader.

    by 7pointedstar

    I liked the first film, though it certainly isn't a favorite. And I've been looking forward to this one for two reasons. 1.) Reepicheep. 2.) So they would make Voyage Of The Dawn Treader, my favorite Narnia book.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:12 a.m. CST

    Damn, unlike most, I really liked the first

    by waggy

    Oh well, if it sucks I can always watch Iron Man again to cleanse my palette.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:24 a.m. CST

    Why give legendary properties to hacks??

    by performingmonkey

    What with Narnia and The Golden Compass/Northern Lights, brilliant books that the very best talent should be stepping up to write and direct but instead we get hacks. It doesn't make sense. By the way, Caspian IS the worst book and much of what features in this film is invented (King Miraz in the book is literally a non-entity and there certainly wasn't this huge CGI siege we're seeing in the trailers) CGI sieges have become something I could really do without. LOTR did it perfectly and now hacks are just trying to replicate what PJ and WETA did and failing at every turn. Just cut the CG sieges.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    Hi I'm O Goncho and I'm a talkbacker

    by O_Goncho

    What's your game?

  • May 2, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Just make another LOTR already

    by WickedMonster

    Stop with these wannabe fantasies and give me THE HOBBIT. <p>I thought the first one was like...what's the word I am looking for here...cabbage. I don't even care for this one. The promos look good though.</p>

  • May 2, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    not sure what to think about this review

    by freydis

    Actually, that spoiler is one of the most significant parts of the book. This is not a happy book and it was never my favorite adventure because it takes so long for anything happy to happen. The whole thing is one long siege scene, with some flashbacks and a growing sense of doubt about the entire adventure. I'll probably enjoy the film just cause I'm an easy sell...and I can fill in the blanks of what they leave out. But so help me, if Reepicheep is made out to be ridiculous, I will fight to defend his mousey honor.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    you have to be gay to see this shit

    by ludmir88

    not in my summer movie list

  • May 2, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    This wasn't really a review...

    by Turtle_Z

    more like a spleen venting. I'm no fan of the 1st movie, tbh, but I figured this rant in itself was worth a comment: If you're going to review a film at least be constructive. If you had a point to make it was lost in the waves of yellow bile that you threw at your keyboard. Plus, your punctuation is awful. I had to re-read sentences more than once to try and discern your meaning. Btw, I'm a 36yr old, married WoW gamer. I have no basement. You, sir, are a dick...

  • May 2, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    CABBAGE!!

    by BurgerTime

    LOL Priceless. Imagine that quote on the DVD box. <p> I'll still go to see this. Like the first one so I'm gonna follow up. But it's true. Why aren't the studios treating these literary series with more respect and assigning proven talent? <p> I know 99.9% of the time it's a dollars and cents decision by the suits, but shit. Cut a pricey effects sequence and put the money back above the line to get a capable director. The story - and overall film - will be much better for it.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    wtf i thought everyone at the age of 7...

    by Gungan Slayer

    has already read all the Narnia books. what the hell is this?

  • May 2, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Lame review

    by Jawa 007

    Sounds like a bitter crewmember from Speed Racer trying to dethrone the film that's gonna crush them. Bah.

  • May 2, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    i'm with geekzapoppin

    by LegoKenobi

    -10 points for unnecessary stereotyping and homophobia. and another -10 for the anti WoW comment, too. just stick to what the movie, please. i for one can't wait to see it. i adored the books as a kid, and the first movie did not disappoint me in the slightest. glad to hear that reepicheep kicks ass!

  • May 2, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    if you read one Narnia book...

    by Mr Gorilla

    I massively recommend THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW. It is very inaginative, seems to be to be about natural creation rather than banging any particular religious drum, ties in beautifully to THE LION, THE WITCH..., and is ultimately very moving. Wonderful book.

  • May 2, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Seeing this today

    by Freakemovie

    I was one of the people who liked the first movie a lot. Can't say I remember the score, but I did think all the kids did a good job. This review worries me, but I guess I'll find out for myself soon enough.

  • May 2, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    I've only read two of the Narnia books

    by Sithdan

    The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and Magician's Nephew. After that I just lost interest.

  • May 2, 2008, 10:07 a.m. CST

    I loved Stardust and didn't like the first Narnia

    by Stormshadow4life

    I don't think I'll take this guy's advice. I'll wait for Moriarty's review.

  • May 2, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    Thank you SithWitch.

    by beastie

  • May 2, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Mom's basement joke.

    by beastie

    It's just uncreative. Sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not, but there has got to be some other jabs at geeks (myself included) other than "Get out of your mom's basement". Geek is in, these days. So, it's not limited to one group of people and their lack of responsibility anymore.</p><p>I never read the Narnia books, as a kid or adult, because I always had a hard time enjoying written fantasy (though I always loved it on film). It just wasn't for me. Lately, though, I've been enjoying fantasy books more and more - mainly because of the whole "if you like Harry Potter, try this," going around. I still haven't made it to Narnia, but I enjoyed Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, Stardust and Hitchikers Guide considerably.

  • May 2, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Search Engine Idea

    by mooseaka

    Forgive me if this idea is completely unfeasable, but is there any way you can put tags on the stories on this website? I assume it would be a massive undertaking to go back and tag 36,000 news stories, so that probably defeats my idea right there, but it would make this site infinitely more navigable if you could put tags like "Prince Caspian" "Review' "reviewers name" etc. Just a though.

  • May 2, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Michael Apted???

    by Series7

    Why is this guy going to be allowed to direct the third movie? Did they feel bad for no one letting him direct a Harry Potter film? His movies suck, can't anything about his 7up series, which sounds really cool. I am not a giant fan of Narnia but knowning Apted is going to direct the third one... its probably going to suck.

  • May 2, 2008, 11:11 a.m. CST

    Sith Witch

    by sambrook

    Whilst I agree that the Chrisitan nature of these films is played up too much by the cynics, TLTWATW isn't the end of it. In Dawn Treader Aslan appears to them at the end of the world as a lamb, which is far too close to lamb of God to be dismissed. Not sure about The Silver Chair as I haven't read it in years but The Last Battle is more than just the final couple of chapters - although that is where it all comes to a head. The whole of the book is about the rise of false religions bringing about the end of the world and this starts as soon as the monkey starts parading the donkey around as a deity at the start of the book. It was only reading it back as an adult I realised how harsh the book was - especially the ending of the children (and their parents) delighted they've all died in a seemingly Alsan-controlled train crash so they could live in Paradise. Except wicked, sinful Susan who had started wearing lipstick and liking boys and so no doubt had to endure the pain of losing her whole family and then going to Hell for it.

  • May 2, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST

    Biznatch?

    by AlwaysThere

    You should never have allowed this review to be posted.

  • May 2, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Underoos

    by MattmanReturns

    I'm not a big Spider-Man fan either... but goddamn, I know most people liked it, and I'm not going to troll a messageboard telling people a movie they loved sucks. I'm really sick of your bullshit.

  • May 2, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Thanks BurgerTime

    by WickedMonster

  • May 2, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Loved the books, hated the first film

    by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks

    Bad acting, terrible pacing, horrible CGI, and the additions were pathetically conceived and executed. With Adamson on board I have little hope(I detest Shrek 2 so much I have yet to watch 3), but Apted has my interest.

  • May 2, 2008, noon CST

    Shoulda released this in the Fall

    by Darth Sticky

    ...it'd probably get more $ if they had. This fucker's gonna drown.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Well, yeah, I guess he didn't read the second one.

    by quentintarantado

    Apparently Captain Wiggin hates the essential parts of the book, wishing for the plot to go other directions it shouldn't, if it's gonna be called Prince Caspian. Adamson isn't a great ARTISTE, but if I separate Captain Wiggins's hostility from what he saw, Adamson hewed pretty close to the book again, and if Adamson is going to depend on C.S.Lewis's original story to save the day by faithfully interpreting it into a film, then yeah, I wanna see this.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:06 p.m. CST

    I'm a fan of the word "meh,"

    by nerosday

    Few other statements can convey the shear sense of blasé that "meh" invokes. I read these books when I was a child and to be honest, I really thought they were boring then too. The first film was... how can I say this without making fans mad?... Quite possibly the most boring thing I've ever sat through in my life. I went with my son and he wanted to leave 2/3 of the way into. Now before the Ridalin lines go bounding about, and he is not on that crap by the way, this is a kid who sat through LOTR Return of the King and didn't even budge. If he's feeling it he'll watch it to the end. I just didn't get anything from the first movie, bad effects, bad kid actors, boring story, it was... "meh."

  • May 2, 2008, 12:10 p.m. CST

    second book kinda sucks, actually

    by mattn

    I'm not too surprised that the movie isn't that good, since the second book is pretty lame. The third book is the best of the series, imho, so maybe things are looking up.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    This movie won't do badly at the box office

    by AudioKarateKid

    Even though I want it to. This movie will succeed almost entirely based on repeat viewings by evangelical nutjobs in the so-called "heartland" of America.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST

    Dark Materials...

    by Darth Macchio

    I read the first book prior to hearing about the movie coming out. Wanted to see what all the fuss was about...I'm a huge Harry Potter fan so I figured it would be a nice transition to the world of Daemons and Northern Lights.<p><p><p>While it was indeed a good book, it was not a "great" book. I was looking towards reading the whole trilogy and now have no desire to read the second. There are some great characters no doubt but the main protagonist isn't one of them and the overall plot seems more like setup for a sequel then a self-contained entity. Was it originally written as one big book and broken down into 3 a la LotR? Are the second and third books better than the first?

  • May 2, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah...

    by Darth Macchio

    I know Dark Materials was written as a trilogy but there's no sense of transition of resolution whatsoever at the end of the first book. Pullman should have given us something...anything.<p><p><p>Also...haven't seen this on AICN but it's official that McKellan has signed on for The Hobbit.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Nerosday...

    by Darth WickedChicken

    I enjoyed the first movie. It was easy for me to get lost in the story (faults and all). Your comment is one of the most intelligent posts I think I’ve ever read from someone saying they didn’t like a movie. You stated in clear non-offensive terms why you didn’t like it. Kudos to you as well for your use of one of my favorite words as well…..Meh.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    that one Val Kilmer movie nobody remembers

    by Andre the Frog

    The Salton Sea? I LOVED that movie.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Captain Wiggin? More like Captain PLANT.

    by Squashua

    Or Captain ANTI-PLANT. :) Good review; the book was boring too.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    WORSE than that chocolate box original?

    by Sepulchrave

    Impossible. I hated TLTWATW; lucy was insufferable; Susan didn't register and Peter was the closeted homosexual public school toff I always hated from the books. Only Edmund, who plotted to kill his awful siblings (yay Edmund) was in any way bearable. Tilda Swinton was perfectly cast, then imprisoned in ludicrous costumes that robbed her of her amazing body-movements. Aslan was BLAND. God, is there anything more sententiously dull than Neeson phoning in another noble character? Not to mention the plasticine monsters and animals. If this is worse, if you liked the first one and this compares badly then god help us all.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Underoos Hero

    by Nico Toscani

    I HATE Raimi's Spider-Man movies with a passion! I am a life-long Spider-Man reader. I can't stand the lousy CGI. I hate Kirstin Dunst and Tobey Maguire in those roles. I hate that piss yellow cinematography. I hate the Power Rangers Green Goblin costume. I hate the sappy tone of the movies. Nothing about those movies evoked the Spider-Man I know and love. I have been saying this to my friends since day fucking one. P- I also hate Singer's X-Men movies. McKellan, Jackman, and Stewart are the only reasons to sit though them.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:55 p.m. CST

    nerosday

    by Nico Toscani

    If I had my way I'd ban the use of the word "meh." It's about as appealing to me as hip hop slang.

  • May 2, 2008, 12:59 p.m. CST

    Sepulchrave

    by Nico Toscani

    Liam Neeson's Ra's Al Ghul was awesome. I don't know what you mean about him "phoning" in his roles. You wanna see real phoning in, watch Tom Hanks in The DiVinci Code.

  • May 2, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    All that about Narnia being Christian agit-prop

    by Sepulchrave

    is, sadly, true. Calormen Arabs are EVIL and SADISTIC and worship the false God Tash, who is beastly looking and clearly the devil. The Monkey in the Last Battle is the anti-Christ. Aslan is the Lion of Judah and Lamb of God, sent by the Emperor Over the Water to be sacrificed by Jadis; a sort of Lillith/Eve figure who gorges herself on the magic apples that give life if taken for others but that stain your mouth with evil knowledge of you steal them for yourself. Susan is evil; she likes make-up and boys; she must die; sexual maturity is to be avoided. Edmund is Judas, Susan and Lucy are Mary and that saint (Catherine?) who took Christs body off the cross. this world is the Shadowlands; let's all reject life and yearn for death so that we can go to Narnia. NOT healthy reading, sorry. And aren't they THIN. I was surprised at how insubstantial they are compared to even the Hobbit, which at least trumpets self-sufficiency, daring and stamina. Nobody wants to die and go to Heaven in Middle Earth. Tolkien had ecology; Lewis just has scripture picked up late in life. I never trust the faith of late converts; they're always screwed up.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    And Liam Neeson CAN be boring

    by Sepulchrave

    Compare his awful 'wise Jedi' routine to the excellent work he did in Kinsey or Schindler's List and you'll see the difference between Liam the noble actor and Liam the noble nobody. Just because he's tall and has a nice Celtic voice doesn't mean that he's giving a performance.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    He was NOT awesome as Ra's Al Ghul

    by Sepulchrave

    he was just doing his tall mentor thing again. It's the same performance he gave in The Phantom Menace: 'I am the master, I know all. You have much to learn, young apprentice.' SNORE.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:08 p.m. CST

    But I agree about Spider Man

    by Sepulchrave

    I never knew that i hated Toby McGuire until I had to sit looking at his little pop-eyes and cleft chin for two hours. And what is wrong with Kirsten Dunst? Is she on Xanax? Does she have narcolepsy? Come to think of it; I hate Elijah Wood's little pop-eyes and cleft chin too, but The Lord of the Rings has loads more going for it than him.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Oh and CONGRATULATIONS to AICN

    by Sepulchrave

    For breaking McKellan's acceptance of Gandalf for Del Toro's Hobbit. Oh, that's right; you didn't! Nobody tells Harry nuthin'.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    ANTI-NARNIA PLANT!!!!!!!!

    by J-Dizzle

  • May 2, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    How many days does this have before Indy?

    by Rev. Slappy

    Six? Six days to make money before Indy comes along and totally demolishes it. The tracking numbers on Indy are mind-boggling, especially among kids who are the core Narnia viewers. Caspian will make money but it won't be as big a hit as the first one.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    Thank you Darth WickedChicken

    by nerosday

  • May 2, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    So is Santa Claus in this one?

    by KillDozer

    And, to anyone who read the books, does it actually make some sort of sense that he shows up with a bag of weapons in tow?<p>That was just one of the many things in the first movie I didn't understand along with "Why are these 4 kids important in the first place?"

  • May 2, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    No, Santa is as dumb in the book as in the movie

    by Sepulchrave

    Ho ho ho, have a shoulder-mounted, ground-to-air, witch-killing missile, King Peter! have a pair of soft wollen mittens Lucy? A sword? No no no, don't be ridiculous: you're a GIRL. Girls have to be all kitteny and passive. Happy Christmas!

  • May 2, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Sepulchrave

    by dogstar69

    good point, aintitcool is well behind now, if Harry's not getting phonecalls from (not namedropping at all) anymore he can always jump over to empireonline as that seems to be the place everything on AIC is lifted from

  • May 2, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    Indy will demolish this among the secular crowd...

    by beastie

    ... but have we forgotten about The Passion of the Christ and TLTWATW? Now, I'm not gonna go check facts here, but isn't Passion of the Christ the highest grossing R-rated film of all time. Christians support their own. I'm not criticizing them, just noticing a trend. It is possible (I said possible not probable) that this will demolish Indy with little hype.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    The problem of Susan

    by Toonol

    For those of you interested, Neil Gaiman wrote a story called "The Problem of Susan", that dealt with the seemingly gross unfairness of how Susan was handled by C. S. Lewis in the last Narnia book. You can read it at http://www.impalapublications.com/blog/index.php?/archives/2396-The-Problem-of-Susan,-by-Neil-Gaiman.html (you'll have to fix the spaces in the URL.)

  • May 2, 2008, 1:38 p.m. CST

    Toonol.. I tiny URLed it.

    by beastie

    http://tinyurl.com/5ddmj8 For some reason it still wasn't working for me even after taking out the spaces so I searched for it and made it a tiny URL.</p><p>Great find, though.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:43 p.m. CST

    I may see Iron man again on the 16th

    by nerosday

    You will believe a man can fly... in rocket boots.

  • May 2, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    PLANT

    by apolo_sputnik

    Not really. Since so many here claim any positive review is a plant, thought I'd put a spin on a negative review. <br> IRON MAN RULES!

  • May 2, 2008, 1:44 p.m. CST

    WHO SAID IRON MAN RULES!

    by apolo_sputnik

    PLANT!

  • May 2, 2008, 1:49 p.m. CST

    this guy contradicts himself

    by AntoniusBloc

    claims to be the common viewer, then suddenly can predict the future of this franchise. Really goes against all i have seen and read about the film, saw the trailer with iron man on the big screen, effects look flawless, esp. compared to the other trailers, using cgi, esp. Harrison Ford's pants...the cgi looks much better than the first film as well, nah, this review is garbage

  • May 2, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    MattmanReturns

    by Underoos Hero

    Get a life dude.

  • May 2, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    I hated the 1st one so this is no surprise.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    *waits for Dark Knight*

  • May 2, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    why are four kids important?

    by AntoniusBloc

    someone asked above. Lewis explains that in Christianity, the philosophy is based on the fact that everyone is special, especially in God's eyes, in contrast to the modern, cynical view that no one is special. This might help you understand why Narnia isn't allegory, and why it is a children's story, yet with deep philisophical themes. Aslan is God in the form of a Lion for these children, specifically, to help them outside of Narnia and understand who He is better outside of Narnia. The theme of Caspian, which Adamson seems to have picked up on, is that, like the Fall of Humanity, the kids can't go back to the innocence of the early Narnia, can't return to paradise. But like the Fall, we can grow into something greater by learning from and appreciating what we lost, and why.

  • May 2, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    MattmanReturns and another thing...

    by Underoos Hero

    You may say the majority of people like it but it's the minority that that didn't like it that counts. I don't know if you know this but, Minority always rules in the end. Contemplate that for a while and get back with me.

  • May 2, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    Boring Book = Boring Movie

    by Saluki

    Color me surprised. Wake me up when the fourth movie comes around. That one was fun as hell.

  • May 2, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    CHURCH HYPOCRASY

    by Underoos Hero

    I hope Hollywood doesn't keep making these movies. Then again there is a very large religeous paying audience for this crap. Which is hypocrytical of the religeous sect anyway. The chuch's denounce Harry Potter but they embrace these books and movie? There's just as much magic, fantasy and evil in these book as there are in Harry Pooter. WWTF?

  • May 2, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Magic & fantasy & Evil are fine...

    by Yeti

    As long as evil is always defeated in the third act, the heroes triumph, and the whole thing is a thinley veiled alagory to Christianity/the christ myth

  • May 2, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    Harry Potter is great because he's Edmund

    by Sepulchrave

    he's a flawed human child; filled with rage and resentment; it's hard for him to be good. That's why kids love him. Like Edmund. Nobody likes these sanctimonious little prigs, the Pevensies (urg; even their name sound like little black patent-leather shoes). And In Harry potter; the girls get wands; even the females get to wield proactive, aggressive will-power in phallic form. What does Lucy get; a bottle of healing elixir. Great; more Victorian 'angel-in-the-house' claptrap from the man who met his first girlfriend when he was over 50.

  • May 2, 2008, 2:46 p.m. CST

    Everyone is special, Antoniusbloc

    by Sepulchrave

    Except Susan and the parents, who get dumped in limbo while everyone else bunks down with Aslan in Paradise.

  • May 2, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Antoniusbloc...

    by KillDozer

    Maybe C.S. Lewis explained why the kids were important in the book, but the movie certainly didn't (at least to my recollection). And wait...isn't the message of everyone being special undermined by the fact that these 4 kids specifically are needed to save Narnia?

  • May 2, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Oh please Underoos

    by MattmanReturns

    You're all over these boards, you jackass. Don't give me that hypocritical "get a life" shit. Fucking troll.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:06 p.m. CST

    "I don't know if you know this but, Minority always rules in the

    by MattmanReturns

  • May 2, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    I don't know if you know this but, Minority always rules

    by MattmanReturns

    end." Care to back that one up? Are you telling me that the minority of Godfather haters out there "ruled" in the end?

  • May 2, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    FattmomReturns

    by Underoos Hero

    You're so thilly.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Tell me what you LIKE Underoos

    by MattmanReturns

    I know you like the original Batman. That's well and good, I like it too. But let's go beyond that. What movies in the last five years have you liked?

  • May 2, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    MattmanReturns

    by Underoos Hero

    Dude check this out. You're gettin' all worked up about nothing. Although my DVD collection is not as big as probably alot of peoples here I do have a decent sized movie catalog and I can honestly tell you that they run the gambit in taste. From shitty fun, eclectic, art house, indie, pop, fantasy, comic, smart, comedy.....Whatever fits the mood Jack.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    So you're not gonna tell me

    by MattmanReturns

    Got it.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:17 p.m. CST

    Name Correction .....FattmomReturns

    by Underoos Hero

  • May 2, 2008, 3:18 p.m. CST

    FattmomReturns

    by Underoos Hero

    Ok I'll entertain you. 3:10 to Yuma stands out in my mind here lately. I watch a new movie every other night dude i'd really have to think about it.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    Looking forward to this

    by darthvedder81

    I thought the first "Narnia" movie was very solid and much more tonally faithful to it's source material than LOTR. I was particularly impressed with the ending battle--it had a real operatic quality to it that I enjoyed. I didn't think the CG was bad but even so at least Adamson had the balls to put the effects in broad daylight instead of obscuring everything in muck and darkness and rain like Peter Jackson.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:21 p.m. CST

    3:10 to Yuma

    by MattmanReturns

    Okay, excellent movie. But guess what, there's a MINORITY that hates that movie. And according to you, the minority rules in the end.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:41 p.m. CST

    For Narnia!

    by PullMyFinger

    After seeing the trailer that they released last week, nothing could dissuade me from wanting to see this movie. I love the books and the first movie, so I'm going to go with my instincts on this one and will decide for myself after I see it.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:45 p.m. CST

    Adamson = hack

    by pearboy

    Andrew Adamson should have left the land of Narnia and given it to someone who actually has the balls to do it justice. I was so god damn bored with the first one... I was aching to watch the cheesy PBS special or better yet read the book again. What a waste... I really hope that audiences start to get fed up with all this CG extravaganza fantasy stuff. There is such a thing as over-saturation. Judging by the negative response to the waxy Hulk that just debuted this week, I think it is already happening. LOTR and The Hobbit will be enough for me thank you!

  • May 2, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Lenny8.. it's not that bad.

    by beastie

    But yeah. The search engine should improve. A lot of us want to know what this guy's other reviews read like.

  • May 2, 2008, 3:59 p.m. CST

    the only good thing about the first one was CG animals

    by BMacSmith

    very well done. otherwise shit.

  • May 2, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    Search

    by Toonol

    <p>Just do this:</p> <p>http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=site%3Awww.aintitcool.com+wiggin<p> <p>Bookmark it, then replace "wiggin" with whatever term you're searching for.</p>

  • May 2, 2008, 4:08 p.m. CST

    this confirms it

    by zooch

    Sounds just like the first one; over-hyped, trite, hollow.

  • May 2, 2008, 4:14 p.m. CST

    Underoos Hero, you're a fucking clown

    by TheLastCleric

    A vocal minority doesn't equate jack shit either, asshole. Especially when those in the minority are as fucking clueless and pathetic as you appear to be. The thing is, I have no affinity for this series or Spiderman but unlike you I don't feel the need to add inches to my cock and numbers to my I.Q by talking shit. Anybody who dedicates any real amount of time to slandering other people's pleasure is obviously a fucktwit. So why don't you go take a whiff of your mother's dirty panties or whatever it is you angst-ridden elitists do to compensate for being insignificant flecks of shit. Peace, bitch.

  • May 2, 2008, 4:53 p.m. CST

    TheLastCleric

    by Underoos Hero

    PLEASE RE-READ YOUR POST.

  • May 2, 2008, 4:56 p.m. CST

    TheLastCleric

    by Underoos Hero

    "fucktwit"? Is this a LastCleric original?

  • May 2, 2008, 5:05 p.m. CST

    FattmomReturns & TheLastCleric

    by Underoos Hero

    I did not expect either one of you to get what I was saying and you have proved that. I even said that you wouldn't get it in my post when I said to, "contemplate that". You guys really need to pay attention in school and close that little mouth and listen before you speak. I also know that even if I were to give you an explanation, you mouth breathers would still stare at me distantly as the drool rolled off your lips and your brains ran out of your ears. Keep the insults coming fellas. They are amusing.

  • May 2, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    You truly are a 'fucktwit'

    by MattmanReturns

    I for one am not going to waste anymore time "contemplating" anything you say. Your statements are empty and baseless. You are simply a troll and I'm done feeding you. See ya.

  • May 2, 2008, 6:21 p.m. CST

    I have no idea what's going on here, but I'm going....

    by FlickaPoo

    ...to make a point of using the word "fucktwit" at least three times tomorrow.........you know, just to be sure that it's permanently added to my vocabulary....

  • May 2, 2008, 6:23 p.m. CST

    Why is the reviewer such a douchebag?

    by I Dunno

    And what's with the "parent's basement" cliche?

  • May 2, 2008, 6:42 p.m. CST

    What a dickish review

    by Logan_1973

    Next time leave the chip on your shoulder at the theatre entrance.

  • May 2, 2008, 6:46 p.m. CST

    ...and The World is Not Enough was not "whack"

    by I Dunno

    Home dawg.

  • May 2, 2008, 6:47 p.m. CST

    Yeah...it just doesn't look good

    by kafka07

    I like C.S. Lewis, but these movies just blow.

  • May 2, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    Does Jeebus Turn Into A Talking Lion In This One?

    by LaserPants

    Fuck Narnia. Read HIS DARK MATERIALS instead. Too bad Golden Compass (the movie) was d.o.a. *Sigh*

  • May 2, 2008, 7:34 p.m. CST

    Why do some people here refer to Christians as one group?

    by JTStyler

    Christians are not some herd who all do the same things, all condemn Harry Potter and are all frankly barking. Most are actually pretty normal. And so we're clear, religion and geekhood are not mutually exclusive - you can be both. Tolerance, guys. And despite what the press may say, the success of Lion, Witch and Wardrobe was not down to religion. It's sucess was worldwide including in secular Europe. Why? Because the movie, whilst only adequate appealed to the whole family, was based on well-known books and was well-marketed by Disney and released in winter. There is this idea that there was some kind of grassroot movement Passion-style of all Christians for this film. That is not true. On the other hand, look at the international numbers for the Passion of the Christ on the other hand, considerably lower than it's US take. Now that film was pushed by particular EVANGELICAL Christian groups because it was overtly religious and truth be told, the U.S is a very much more religious or concerned about religion nation than most others across the pond. I regard myself as a Christian but I went to see LTWATW because I liked the trailer not because I was brainwashed into doing so. I saw it as a wasted opportunity and Caspian looks flat from its trailer. So I will be waiting for Indy instead. Rant over, thanks for reading...or not.

  • May 2, 2008, 7:37 p.m. CST

    PS.

    by JTStyler

    I have read His Dark Materials, great books with amazing ideas until book 3 when I think Pullman's anti-organised religion stance overruns the book in much the same way that CS Lewis' Christianity does sometimes overpower his writing detrimentally. Nonetheless, the Chronicles of Narnia books are worth their place in history overall muck like His Dark Materials.

  • May 2, 2008, 7:40 p.m. CST

    Typo

    by JTStyler

    sorry, that last line should read "overall much like His Dark Materials."

  • May 2, 2008, 8:35 p.m. CST

    by redkamel

    plant?

  • May 2, 2008, 8:42 p.m. CST

    I stopped reading this review...

    by Rommel Catuncan

    because it is so obnoxious. Don't put reviews up like this please. I don't care what he thinks about the movie because I'm instantly put off by him.

  • May 2, 2008, 10:01 p.m. CST

    I'm still completely astonished that some people

    by jimmay

    actually liked the first one. I went in with low expectations, hoping it would be at least as entertaining, even if heavily flawed, as the first Harry Potter or Spiderman film. But it failed even that. I mean it was blaaaannnd. One of the most unexceptional and unremarkable films ever made. I read the books in Elementary school, and I liked the animated film, but the modern version just failed completely to involve me emotionally.

  • May 2, 2008, 10:36 p.m. CST

    Wow....

    by JayWells87

    the guy who wrote this is almost as big a tool as Underoos.

  • May 2, 2008, 11:25 p.m. CST

    stop the propaganda

    by yeuxdesoir

    i never realized narnia was christian themed until 5 years after i read it, when some salty bag of vinegar told me it was. i dont see it though. however it has willow and reepicheep so im gonna go see it if only for that.

  • May 2, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    also

    by yeuxdesoir

    the first paragraph of this review makes me hate WoW a little less.

  • May 3, 2008, 12:30 a.m. CST

    JTStyler

    by soup74

    I agree with you. i think if a person has a strong belief, or has been risen a certain way the art they create is going to inherently contain allagories to what stories they've heard and are familar with. Its when they believe their own hype and try to consciously make the connections, they're way too obvious and dont work anymore.

  • May 3, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    killdozer

    by AntoniusBloc

    the point is Aslan, or God, is there for the 4 kids, and that specific conflict in Narnia, for them. A line from the books which kind of explains it is when Aslan explains that he comes in that form in Narnia so the kids will better know him in the real world, which is as Jesus. So, that line alone takes away the idea of the story being allegory. Aslan is Creator, of Narnia, and the universe. As Adamson explains to some AICN guy who tried to call him out on Narnia looking too shiny and new, Narnia is still a new existence. So, yes, as sons of Adam and daughters of Eve, each individual made in the image of God is special. Aslan knows the names of the four kids, he knew them before they were born, and gave each a purpose, each a special gift to contribue. This contrasts modern philosophy where no one is special, individuality is subjective and essentially an illusion, because we're essentially beasts, and ultimately dust.

  • May 3, 2008, 1:08 a.m. CST

    Can we all agree that the first movie was not that good?

    by MaxTheSilent

    Okay. Now from that perspective we can approach any further films from a fresh angle.

  • May 3, 2008, 1:31 a.m. CST

    I thought the first film was great, and some above agree

    by AntoniusBloc

    I thought the first film worked, probably could have benefited from being longer, and not deleting some important dialogue from the book, but each scene, act, and sequence to the climax and conclusion worked well: the story was told visually for the most part, I had no problems with the acting, they were convincing brothers and sisters who had conflict but showed a deeper bond. Edmund's redemption is moving, and again done mostly visually, the scene when he returns and the siblings see him for the first time never loses its impact. It is not perfect, in my opinion, certain preferences, perhaps a bigger Aslan, not looking simply like a realistic lion(the talking animals are supposed to be larger according to the books); cgi had room for improvement, but the animals actually talking was done well, perhaps because they were animated well, and it looks like in Caspian they have improved the cgi. Overall, being a children's story, it is told very well, and convincing. And for those who think that the idea of entering a whole new dimensin through a wardrobe is far fetched should read the latest books and articles on string theory.

  • May 3, 2008, 2 a.m. CST

    The Problem of Susan

    by Captain Mal

    is that, apparently, nobody here actually gets what happened with her in "The Last Battle." (Full disclosure, here: I've read all of the books dozens and dozens of times). What's all this nonsense about "boys"? Susan's problem had nothing to do with boys. Susan's problem was that she became enamored of the superficial aspects of life, and relinquished her sense of wonder, and her ability to believe in impossible things. Call it idealistic and fruity if you will, but that's that point Lewis was getting at. Mindless distractions over the inconsequential things in life will crush your childlike sense of wonder, if you let them.

  • May 3, 2008, 2:01 a.m. CST

    Oh, and...

    by Captain Mal

    ... yeah, the first movie stunk up the theatre. Here's hoping the second one is better.

  • May 3, 2008, 3:03 a.m. CST

    Genuinely shocked this week.

    by The True Priapic

    Two things happened this week Firstly,I tried yet again to get my Girl to watch Narnia(as she is Chinese it's tough finding suitable material to watch together as her Chinese conditioning means childrens films are seen as high art)so....yet again she fell asleep just after Aslan appears to leave muggins to watch it all alone and ..I was simply STUNNED...stunned by wehat I saw.I must have seen this on a dodgy quality Chinese bootleg as I dont remember it being..so ...well,I just can't believe how FUCKING DREADFUL the acting was.God almighty,that lead boy..is ...SHOCKING.Look at him emote in the badgers home.OH MY GOD!It's uncomfortable to watch.LIke torture porn.That little pig-faced kid with the 'look of wonder'.UGGHHH.And that terrible bird with the bow and arrows.Is she reading from cue cards?OH MY GOD,who okayed this??Dear God,I hated this movie.It's utterly uninspired.I seem to recall Adamson even selling it with a preview which was literally the same in design as the Fellowship teaser trailer yonks ago.God,he stil gives me the creeps.At least this week Wuxi,China got Iron Man on Tuesday night.Yup saw it probably before most of you lot!Had to sit through The Forbidden Kingdom(Chan.Jet Li) as it wa stacked on to a double bill.God that film does fuck all for Chinese culture.I did enjoy Jet Li pissing on Chan though.Even the Chinese audience were bored.Utter garbage.But Iron Man...great fun.Like a film from decades past when characters drove a film and special effects served the story and actors looked like they were having fun instead of doing it because they needed a hit(ED Hulk NORTON take note,tosspot).Downey Jr was great,my God he drinks a lot of whiskey throughout(I know..I know....)Smashing time in the cinema.But Prince Caspian?FUCK NARNIA.Fighting mouse?Give me a shot.Ill stamp it in pretty quick.Talking animals?Animals?They can't speak.Oh,okay that little dog on That's LIfe in the 70's could say "Sausages" but thats an exeption.FUCK Narnia.

  • May 3, 2008, 3:33 a.m. CST

    stardust was awsome

    by s0beurself

    Narnia sucks. So does the Golden Compass for that matter. They both feel washed out and are boring.

  • May 3, 2008, 3:34 a.m. CST

    Adamson, get off it

    by ihavezelda

    I seriously think he is the wrong guy for the job and I hope Apted can learn from mistakes. Mistake # 1: contemporary dialogue/humor. The books have wit and insight. Did he read the books or just think back on them? They are literary classics. You could learn a thing or two from them. Sheesh. Discuss.

  • May 3, 2008, 3:59 a.m. CST

    first one was terrible. this one looks worse

    by slappy jones

    mainly due to the fact that the kids just cannot act. they are awful. arse wincingly terrible. and looks like for good measure they have added another terrible actor for good measure in the shape of prince caspian. who seems to be battling it out with cate blanchett in indiana jones for the hammiest accent of the summer award.

  • May 3, 2008, 4:16 a.m. CST

    "The AICN search engine is heinously inefficient"

    by Kragmose

    Amen.

  • May 3, 2008, 6:32 a.m. CST

    don't care

    by kungfuhustler84

    the original material was sub-par. why should this be any better? lame. let's move on to the good stuff now and have a good time doing it!

  • May 3, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Yeah... I stopped at "parent's basement"

    by Neosamurai85

    It's cliche and old and I'm tried of piss-poor reviews dropping it. No, I don't live in my parents' basement, I'm just tired of wasting time reading reviews like this. Do people still play World of Warcraft? Jeez. Peace.

  • May 3, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    "continue playing W.o.W. in your parents basement"

    by dtpena

    gee, tell us what YOU think please!

  • May 3, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Neosamurai85

    by Captain Mal

    Yeah, about 10 million people "still play World of Warcraft." Do keep up, please.

  • May 3, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Saw this last night and loved it

    by Freakemovie

    It's weird - I can't imagine anyone who loved the first film to hate this one, but apparently the reviewer did. The tone, humor, pace, everything was very similar. He complains about the kids' desperation to see Aslan again? Hint to reviewer: the character development you so desperately seem ed to crave might be found in that subplot you apparently ignored because you thought it was useless. I honestly thought it was terrifically entertaining.

  • May 3, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Caspian was always the weakest of the books..

    by Lemming

    so even if it's a mediocre movie, they've probably excelled themselves given the material at hand and I'll see this for that reason. Dawn Treader and Silver Chair are where all the good shit is at.

  • May 3, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Oh and Stardust was awesome..

    by Lemming

    Golden Compass, however, was a travesty.

  • May 3, 2008, 3:01 p.m. CST

    Thanks for the clarification, but with all do respect.

    by Neosamurai85

    I'd rather not.

  • May 3, 2008, 6:24 p.m. CST

    Adamson is a hack whose only ideas come from what he can steal f

    by Scrunchie-Scroochie

    by darthvedder81: "at least Adamson had the balls to put the effects in broad daylight instead of obscuring everything in muck and darkness and rain like Peter Jackson." What the fuck? Did you even bother to watch Return of the King? And do you honestly think he should have screwed up the timeline of the battle of Helm's Deep so that the siege took place in daylight and Gandalf's return and the subsequent charge of the Rohirrim took place at sunset or some shit?

  • Although I'm sure someone out there thinks the Green Witch was very good or Tash the evil Aslan, but I don't think they'll ever make those books into movies (certainly not any books that didn't have the four established kids in them). I'm sorry to say I don't think the last movie was as great an adaptation as it could have been, and I still think the PBS animated version had better music--when those wolves were chasing the kids it was TONS scarier than in the movie, plus the final battle had more suspense too, and that's saying something when the characters look like animated marshmellows. Sigh. I'm looking forward to this, but I'm more excited for Iron Man (haven't seen it yet), Speed Racer, and Indy 4. ************** Yes, Stardust was awsome.

  • May 3, 2008, 7:38 p.m. CST

    this is why i have a huge problem with these movires

    by ultimateedition

    not only do i have a huge problem with how lame the first narnia movie was and how the second one will be, but my biggest problem is these: http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/34016/.... the guy who co produces these movies is the same guy who runs the biggest movie theatre chain in the u.s.and He forces his lame, consevative-driven movies, into the public.. fuck narnia, fuck walden media and fuck regal entertainment group

  • May 3, 2008, 7:40 p.m. CST

    movies not movires

    by ultimateedition

    fuck i hate not having an edit button here

  • May 3, 2008, 7:47 p.m. CST

    or check this out

    by ultimateedition

    http://www.mediatransparency.org/story.php?storyID=97

  • May 6, 2008, 5:23 p.m. CST

    Glad to hear about Ben Barnes...

    by viola123

    I thought he looked the part, but am still happy to read he did well. Thanks for the review. It's disappointing to find the film didn't work, but I think I might still see it. (I think.)