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AICN COMICS REVIEWS JLA! X-MEN! GNOME! THE TOURNEY CONTINUES WITH ROUND 2! & MORE!
| #52 | 4/23/08 | #6 |
Hey folks, Ambush Bug here. Just wanted to remind you about our X-O MANOWAR Contest that we ran in Monday’s SHOOT THE MESSENGER Column. We’re commemorating the release of Valiant’s X-O MANOWAR: BIRTH Hardcover Trade Paperback.
15 lucky contestants will win the X-O MANOWAR: BIRTH Hardcover Trade Paperback.
5 will win copies signed by the creators.
And 1 lucky winner will receive a signed copy of the book plus a sketch by the creators.
Since Hollywood is in the process of making a HARBINGER movie, we thought it’d be fun to flex your casting muscles and tell me who you think would be good for the roles. As an added bonus, we should cast an X-O MANOWAR film too, since that’s the prize we’re giving away.
Send a short email here with your casting picks for an X-O MANOWAR and HARBINGER movie.
Deadline is Friday (5/2/08). Winners will be announced in next Monday’s AICN COMICS NEWS: SHOOT THE MESSENGER Column (5/5/08).
And now, on with the column.
5 will win copies signed by the creators.
And 1 lucky winner will receive a signed copy of the book plus a sketch by the creators.
(Click title to go directly to the review)
THOR #8
GNOME OGN
MIGHTY AVENGERS #12
JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #20
UNCANNY X-MEN #497
It Came From the Bargain Bin presents THE NEW UNIVERSE
Part 1: NIGHTMASK series
CHEAP SHOTS!
THE SECRET TOURNAMENT OF INFINITE @$$-KICKERY
Round Two Bracket Two
WINNERS
FIGHTS
THOR #8
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Art: Marko Djurdjevic (pencils) Danny Miki & Crimelab Studios (inks)
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
The story of Thor has always been about a relationship between father and son. Writer JMS continues this tradition with yet another strong issue. In this issue, not only do we get to see where Odin has been since the gods disappeared and reappeared in this series, but we also get a really nice development with Donald Blake and a few other tasty morsels of goodness. This issue is probably one of the strongest that JMS has done with the series and there've been quite a few strong issues in this series so far.
What prompted me to write about this title this week was a single page of this issue that perfectly encapsulates JMS' strength as a writer. It is a series of silent panels, so one would think that JMS had little to do with it (although the amazing art by Marko Djurdjevic & Danny Miki does make the sequence all the more effective), but the words that are suggested in the sequence speak volumes and echoed off the page. Towards the end of this story, Thor wakes from his Odin-Sleep and as he opens the crypt he has been sleeping in, we get one panel with Donald Blake on the street, then another with Thor rising out of his tomb, then the third panel is the same street scene with Blake having disappeared. Having read THOR for years, I know that Donald Blake and Thor cannot exist in this world at the same time, but there have been few other times where this swap has been illustrated so powerfully, so elegantly, and so effectively. This page was my favorite moment I read in a comic this week.
Apart from that one page of awesome, the rest of the book is pretty solid as well. The interaction between Thor and his father was really touching (and later exciting) as Thor aids his father in his eternal battle with Surtur in Norse Purgatory. This sequence highlighted the Norse culture while showing more character in both Thor and Odin than has been seen in years. For too long, Thor has been somewhat inaccessible as a character and a lot of writers fail to bring humanity to the godly hero, but in this issue, we get to see beyond the helmet and airs to view a character that still has a lot of growth to go before he can take up where his father left off. There's a nice commentary by two of Odin's talking crows which eloquently delve into what motivates and challenges Thor as a character. This sequence shows that JMS understands how to make Thor interesting by giving him a challenge to become the noble leader of Asgard that his father once was.
Meanwhile, back on Midgard, Donald Blake is trying to put what's left of his life back together. Still somewhat of a shell of a man, he revisits former love interest Jane Foster with some pretty disastrous results. But it's not all melodrama. JMS spices it up with some mystery and suspense, upping the stakes in finding Sif, Thor's lost love, who is the only Asgardian yet to return from the dead. The final few pages of this book were phenomenally paced and amped up the tension.
THOR is one of Marvel's strongest books. Unlike DC, which seems to have lost its way by looking to one up itself year after year with events, Marvel has more strong titles than weak ones these days. Sure Marvel is about the hype too and has their fair share of books that infuriate me, but with books like THOR, NOVA, THE INCREDIBLE HERC, and JMS' other title THE TWELVE, Marvel still has plenty of quality product to offer.
Ambush Bug is Mark L. Miller, reviewer and co-editor of AICN Comics for close to seven years. Look for his first published work in MUSCLES & FIGHTS 3 (available now!!!!) from Cream City Comics. Bug’s Review Fu is stronger than your Review Fu.
GNOME OGN
Story and Art by: Dave Dwonch
Published by: Super Real Graphics
Reviewed by: superhero
As an owner of an actual garden gnome it was pretty much a given that I was going to enjoy GNOME right off the bat. At the same time, I'm also a fan of the cheesy-yet compelling horror/sci-fi/fantasy that is obviously an inspiration to the creator of this book. You know the kind that I'm talking about. Movies like "House" or "The Beastmaster". The kind of stuff that was either Stephen King or “Dungeons and Dragons” inspired that you couldn't get enough of if you were a growing boy during the 1980's.
GNOME serves as an homage of sorts to this kind of almost forgotten kind of moviemaking. Stuff that was supposed to be scary or compelling but ended up being more of just a fun jaunt into another world during another boring summer afternoon. Stories that seemed like they were made for adults but ended up being mindless entertainment for teenaged boys in search of an adventure, or at the very least, a cheap thrill. GNOME has all the trappings of this almost lost art of entertainment and that's a big reason why I liked it so much.
Sure, some of what I'm feeling toward GNOME may be a bit of nostalgia for the things I enjoyed during my more youthful days, but there's a very solid and enjoyable story here at the core of this book. Yes, it's nothing we haven't really seen before. There's a mad sorcerer who unleashes an unholy evil into our world. There's the hapless and unknowing hero who has no idea what he's getting into when he moves into his new house. And there's a mystical guardian from a time long forgotten attempting to thwart said evil. It's all there and it's sort of been done before but GNOME does it in a very charming, innocent, and adventurous way that I haven't seen in a long time. It's an adventure tale done with a bit of innocence and straightforwardness that's been missing from a lot of sword & sorcery/fantasy tales that I've read in comics in recent years.
Part of what helps GNOME is the simplicity of its artwork. It's obvious that Dwonch is a bit limited as a draftsman as his pages consist of cartoony characters laid out on top of what look to be digitally altered photographs. But it's a technique that works really well to help GNOME preserve a look and feel that maintains the naïve nature of the setting it exists in. If I hadn't mentioned it before, GNOME actually takes place back in the 1950's and Dwonch has designed pages that capture the feel of a more innocent era because of the simplicity of its artwork. GNOME, along with a book like JACK STAFF, ends up being a testament to the fact that you don't have to be George Perez to make an entertaining comic book.
And make no mistake, GNOME is entertaining. Whether or not you've ever been a fan of old role playing games or cheesy Stephen King knockoffs GNOME is sure to either entertain the twelve year old kid inside of you or any actual twelve year old kid you decide to give the book to. Sure, that kid may want to play Final Fantasy instead of reading a comic book, but if you were going to get them to begin reading comics that might interest them GNOME is probably one of the better places to start.
Discovered as a babe in an abandoned comic book storage box and bitten by a radioactive comic fan when he was a teenager, superhero is actually not-so mild mannered sometime designer & cartoonist, Kristian Horn of Los Angeles, California. He's been an @$$hole for three years. Some of his work can be seen at www.kristianhorn.com.
MIGHTY AVENGERS #12
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Alex Maleev
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Jinxo
With this issue we finally get to see some of the past events in the Skrull Secret Invasion fall into place. I mean…if there were such an invasion. Because clearly, real world, there is no invasion. Skrulls infiltrating and replacing some of us Earthlings. Hahaha. Clearly crazy talk. We are clearly in no danger of a violent overthrow that will destroy the world as we know it and should go about our business as if everything is normal. Because it totally is, my human brothers. Everything is good.
But looking at this issue as a purely fictional entertainment, it’s a good ride. Oddly not exactly Avenger-filled for an Avengers title, but seeing as Nick Fury doesn’t have a title they had to put these plot points somewhere. And it’s an enjoyable enough ride to make complaining about the lack of Avengers for one issue sort of nit picky. You do get Nick Fury in his badass glory, kicking ass and taking names. And (spoiler) he does get to make love to a really hot Skrull babe. Of course he isn’t aware of it at the time. He believes he is simply making love to a standard human female…which is just what we human males enjoy. Yes. Yes we do.
One question. Was Nick Fury recast again? He used to be an identical triplet with Reed Richards and Doctor Strange. Then he went Ultimate Sam Jackson. Now I think he’s looking a bit like…I dunno…maybe that guy from “Prison Break” and “John Doe”? Not that it’s a problem, just sort of caught my eye.
So while the first round of books for Secret Invasion had me worried as to how things would play out, this week’s chapters have reassured me. This looks like it could be a pretty good event.
Jinxo is Thom Holbrook, lifelong comic book reader, and the evil genius behind poobala.com. He may appear cute and cuddly but if encountered avoid eye contact and DO NOT attempt to feed.
JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #20
Writer: Dwayne McDuffie
Artist: Ethan Van Sciver
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Man, JLA has been a total hit or miss book lately, with very few issues that fall in between. I liked the first few McDuffie issues of this series. I think he brings character and solid storytelling to the book, even though I hate the stupid developments involving Vixen who must know glom off of super heroes in order to have powers. I liked the inclusion of Firestorm, Black Lightning, Vixen, Red Tornado, and especially Red Arrow into the group and thought that McDuffie was heading into another classic run of DC's big guns. Then he disappeared for a while, only writing back-up features while fill in writers picked up the slack. Now, I don't know why this occurred, but here's hoping that McDuffie is able to stay consistent because this issue was a very strong one.
Too many times, I've read a JLA book and been disappointed, or worse yet bored, by the adventures within. I think the problem is that creators approach this book and because the main characters have their own books to develop in, they stick to making the villains interesting or give the 2nd tier characters the spotlight. The icons are often ignored or written with little or no character. They feel like empty costumes most of the time. I can understand this quandary JLA writers seem to face. But a good writer can understand a character and make him or her relevant to a story and after reading this issue, I know Dwayne McDuffie is one of those good writers.
The story focuses on the Flash and how he has been neglecting his JLA duties since he's returned to the red and yellow suit. The JLA thinks he's been snubbing his duties and Flash is more than willing to say that his life has grown hectic since his return. Looking for a job and raising a family has taken him away from monitor duty and team-ups. So in swoops Wonder Woman to delegate and set the Flash straight.
The thing I like best about this issue is that it focuses on two of DC's top characters and treats them as characters. These two heroes have been working together for years and McDuffie highlights that in the story. He also does a great job of making the Flash, who in the past has been one of DC's most accessible heroes, accessible and likable once again. This story is told from the Flash's perspective. We get to see his thoughts about Wonder Woman (which isn't new, but still written pretty strongly). And through some well written panels, we get to see how the Flash's absence has affected the rest of the team (I especially liked Batman's line about replacing him with Jay Garrick).
McDuffie also takes the Flash's powers, which have been dissected and reassembled more times than I can count, and makes them interesting again by applying some science behind them. If McDuffie ever even thinks of writing THE FLASH, DC should snatch him up and toss him the book immediately. His Flash is fun to read and shows an understanding of the fun and science of powers that few have been able to write in recent years.
I liked the art quite a bit as well. It's hyper-detailed, as if you're reading the story in hi-def. Uber-artist Ethan Van Sciver does a great job of bringing out the finer details and making the panels and characters in them move as lively and vividly as possible.
This isn't one of those issues that will fly off the shelves, mainly because JLA hasn't been consistent in the quality department as of late, but this is a strong issue nevertheless; highlighting all of Dwayne McDuffie's strong writing abilities. As long as McDuffie is on the book though, it's going to go to the top of my stack and read as soon as I get home from the store.
UNCANNY X-MEN #497
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artist: Brandon Choi
Publisher: Marvel
Reviewer: Optimous Douche
As someone who has collected and read every issue of UNCANNY X-MEN from the first issue back in 1963 to almost 500 issues later, it’s safe to say that I have an undying affection for Marvel’s band of merry mutants. Through the good times (Claremont in the 1970’s) to the not so good (Claremont post millennium), I have religiously had UNCANNY as part of my pulls since my childhood in the 1980’s.
However, there was a period of time where I almost lost faith and allowed my distaste for the stories to override my obsessive compulsive collecting tendencies. Thankfully, after countless crossovers and a myriad of “events”, Brubaker and Choi have gone back to basics and are telling some wonderfully mastered, self-contained tales. However, in retrospect I have to wonder if I would have been as enamored with this latest issue and the countdown to issue 500 without the mass confusion of the past few years.
Marvel has received a lot of flack over the past few years from the comic community. Fanboys from different ideological camps have raked Quesada and crew over the coals for their handling (or mishandling, depending on your perspective) of an aging continuity and dwindling stable of new young readers.
From the satanic annulment of the Parker clan to the recent discovery that all characters at Marvel, including Quesada, could be Skrulls, it seems that every time Marvel takes their stab at ret-conning or simply blowing up an entire universe it’s met with far more distaste then when say, I don’t know let’s call them Sleuth Comics, does a similar exercise. It makes me wonder if “Brand New Day” was renamed “Crisis of Multiple Spider-Man Titles” perhaps it would have faired better in the grand scheme of things.
The mutant titles have also been victim to universe reconfiguration. A few years ago you will remember a little event called HOUSE OF M, where Wanda Maximoff uttered the simple phrase, “No more mutants”. In a flash, the ever expanding and infinitely confusing cast of mutants introduced during “The Mutant Explosion” of the early 2000’s were obliterated and we were left with the characters that were the bedrock of this universe. I know we can’t call HOUSE OF M a ret-con, but there is no doubt that this event irrevocably changed the mutant universe for the better…eventually.
But even after HOUSE OF M, there was still some clean-up work to be done. And again we were introduced to interweaving storylines that seemed to make almost as much sense as a mutant that controlled intestinal maggots. First there was the concentration camp inspired 198, then we had the Big Brother O*N*E’s introduced to Xavier’s School, and finally there was Marvel’s take at a new testament with “Messiah Complex”. During all of these events, it felt like good storytelling was cast aside for the sake of cross pollination (and cross selling).
UNCANNY 497 is the first time in a long while where I have been impressed with the title as a stand alone piece. There was no need to understand the happenings in other mutant titles, nor was I forced into traversing my long boxes to refresh my memory about obscure and easily forgettable references.
This book literally jumped off the shelves at me. I have always been a fan of Choi’s work, but the cover for this issue was brilliance incarnate. The hippy trippy, Laugh-In, style font of the title let me know that Scott Summers and Emma Frost were going to continue their investigation into a mutant causing all of San Francisco to have a literal acid flashback of the 1960’s. I didn’t even need to see Emma Frost in her Janis Joplin inspired slutware (although I was happy I did – always loved the whorey hippies) or Scott Summer’s Sergeant Pepper jacket to know that this book was going to be tight all the way through.
I’ve always applauded Brubaker’s pacing, but I’ve been less than inspired with his character portrayal and dialogue. Finally, I realize these shortcomings are not a fault of his writing, but once again an editorial mandate to tie in other titles. The first four pages of this book where Wolverine, Colossus and Night Crawler are trying to escape the Russian equivalent of Sentinels literally had me on the edge of my seat and was one of the best action sequences I have seen in any title, mutant or otherwise as of late. Just when I thought the title could only go downhill from there, Brubaker whisks us away to Scott and Emma’s story where sharp, witty dialogue was interjected into an engrossing and action packed mystery.
In the final analysis the greatness of this book as a stand alone piece can only be determined by someone who has enjoyed the mass confusion of the past few years. I liken this latest issue to being fed Big Macs for the past three years and then for one delectable moment I was fed a piece of melt in my mouth Kobe beef. Did I think this was a great issue? Yes. And I can only pray that going forward Marvel won’t make me go back to the Golden Arches of content.
When Optimous Douche isn’t reading comics and misspelling the names of 80’s icons, he “transforms” into a corporate communications guru. Optimous is looking for artistry help, critical feedback and a little industry insight to get his original book AVERAGE JOE up, up and on the shelves. What if the entire world had super powers? Find out in the blog section of Optimous’ MySpace page to see some preview pages and leave comments.
Every comic shop has them… battered long boxes jam-packed with dog-eared titles ranging from forgotten heroes of the 1970s to multiple copies of chromium-covered “collector’s item” comics from the Big Bust of the 1990s. But if you are patient, and dig deep enough, you just may find something special…
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THE NEW UNIVERSE Part 1: NIGHTMASK series
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Total $$$ spent: $5.00
Reviewed by: BottleImp
Oh, the New Universe… where do I begin?
In 1986, Marvel Comics (under the direction of then-editor-in-chief Jim Shooter) decided to celebrate the company’s 25th anniversary by launching the New Universe. Just as Marvel had brought a new sense of realism to comic books back in 1961, the New Universe was going to push that idea even further—there were to be no alien invasions, no mysterious underground civilizations, and nothing supernatural. The characters and their abilities would all come from a single incident: The White Event, in which the entire planet is bathed in a blinding light for 1.3 seconds. This was the introduction of the New Universe.My own introduction to Marvel’s new line occurred when I bought NIGHTMASK #1 off the newsstand. At the time, I thought it was okay (I think I must have gotten the issue based purely on the costume), and it ended up getting tossed into a cardboard box along with a mess of other comics, and was eventually forgotten. Years later I came upon NIGHTMASK in a “50 cents each or 3 for a dollar” bin, and I picked up nearly the entire run (a skinny 12 issues) along with a couple of other New Universe titles in which Nightmask was featured as a guest star.
The series centered on Keith Remsen, a teenager who was caught along with his family in an airport bombing. His parents (who were psychiatrists in the field of dream research) were killed, his sister Teddy was crippled and put into a wheelchair, and Keith wound up in a coma. The White Event brought Keith back to consciousness, and he learned that he had been given the power to move through people’s dreams. He and his sister (who shared a psychic connection with her brother, so that she could see what he saw in others’ dreams) learned that the airport bombing had been planned by Horst Kleinmann, a scientist in the same field as Keith’s parents, who had believed that the Remsens were trying to steal his secrets of entering the dreams of others. In the first issue, Keith (in the dream-disguise of Nightmask) confronts Kleinmann’s dream-identity of the Gnome and defeats him. Issue 2 reveals that Kleinmann was horribly injured by the psychic encounter, and is planning revenge…
… but we never got to see that. For some reason the ongoing storyline of the Gnome was dropped abruptly, and the comic shifted to a more episodic feel—in each issue Keith would go into someone’s dream, help solve a problem, and then they’d all go out for some ice cream! Okay, maybe not the ice cream part, but these stories for the most part were pretty cheesy. There was the high school friend who was hooked on the dope, the gang kid who was angry and rebellious because he had never learned to read, etc.—NIGHTMASK turned into a series of After-School Specials. Soon after that, the series was cancelled… surprise, surprise.NIGHTMASK exemplifies the flaw found throughout the New Universe titles: good concepts, poor executions. A lot can be done with a character who explores dreams—just look at Neil Gaiman’s SANDMAN. Dreams are strange things, mixtures of subconscious thought, memory, and unearthly images. NIGHTMASK should have reflected this in both writing and art. Instead, the series was plagued (for the most part) by bland artwork and boring, un-dreamlike (for lack of a better term) storylines.
There are a couple of exceptions—the first issue feels much more like a dream; the artwork is moody and the writing (by creator Archie Goodwin) captures that weird feeling of unreality that occurs in our nightmares. Issue #8, also written by Goodwin, is vastly enhanced by Keith Giffen’s abstract, claustrophobic art. Perhaps if Marvel’s editors had tried to push for more stylized artwork throughout the series instead of the everyday Buscema-esque “realistic” comic book art that we got, NIGHTMASK would have lasted longer.
Although the series was cancelled early on, the character survived, although certain changes were made. The city of Pittsburgh was destroyed in a catastrophe called “The Black Event” (more on that in a later column), and Nightmask began to lost control of his powers due to the psychic trauma he experienced from the deaths of the people of the city. The U.S. Government instituted a draft to build a superhuman army, and Nightmask was made a lieutenant in charge of entering the recruits’ dreams in order to evaluate their sanity. PSI-FORCE #22 shows Remsen’s alter ego acting erratically (and somewhat insanely), and Nightmask’s power causing hallucinations (or “waking dreams”) to manifest even after Remsen has woken up. Interesting developments—but unfortunately, the entire New Universe was on its last legs by this point (although I understand that many of the characters made crossover cameos in the “mainstream” Marvel Universe—so much for keeping it “real”, Marvel).NIGHTMASK can be a cheap find for the curious comic book reader, but be warned that fifty cents still might seem too much to pay for some of the cheesier issues. Here’s my picks:
#8—JUSTICE crossover with Giffen art
PSI-FORCE #22—“The Kick Inside” with the sinister Nightmask
THE DRAFT and THE WAR 1-4 graphic novels (more about these in a later column)
If you want to read some of the “very special episode” issues, check out #3 and #7. And for a look at what the Gnome storyline might have been, Marvel released UNTOLD TALES OF THE NEW UNIVERSE: NIGHTMASK in 2006 during a campaign leading up to Warren Ellis’ relaunch of the line as NEW UNIVERSAL. The artwork is terrible, but the story is based on Archie Goodwin’s plot outline for the original series and shows us what might have happened if the editorial shift after issue #4 had not happened.
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #121Marvel Comics
You know what? In the day and age of huge massive crossovers and story arcs it’s nice to see a simple, solid, one issue standalone story. This issue kicked some fun ass. The basic story is a classic formula with a bad guy, in this case Omega Red, happening to attack an important place in Peter Parker’s life. It is standard that the current Spider-Man cartoon series featured almost the same plot the previous week. That sounds like it should be a complaint I guess but the bottom line is it’s all about the execution and this was well executed. The fight sequence is solid. It isn’t just your standard by the book action. They build in some unique and fun beats. I also like watching the Peter Parker luck being on the other foot for a change. Normally someone is making Peter’s life a pain in the ass – and Peter does get his standard dose of bad luck here – but in this case I really enjoyed the idea that Peter was making one of his villains feel like an unlucky put upon schlub. I almost felt bad for Omega Red. The art as usual was really great, selling equally the action and the comedy takes of annoyance and distress from tons of characters. Good stuff. - Jinxo
HULK #3
Marvel Comics
Guilty pleasure time. I can’t help it. I’m wrapped up in this mystery as to who the new Red Hulk is and how Rick Jones became the new Abomination. I have my theories and writer Jeph Loeb doesn’t really give you much of a cast to pick from since all but one character (named in this issue, but not seen) has had an encounter with this new Hulk. But the mystery and the whys behind it look to be a fun ride. Don’t get me wrong: I hate the name A-Bomb. But there’s something about seeing the sheer mayhem and hulky goodness and wondering which gamma-shit crazy direction this story is going that is keeping me wanting more. Brainless fun, helped along by McGuinness’ puffy people. - Bug 
COUNTDOWN #1
DC Comics
Okay, it’s the final issue. Either you’re still reading this book or you’re not. But I had to say something. So this issue is pretty much the postscript on the whole series. Not so much big action as a final wrap up. The weird thing is, for me, this was a better wrap up than the series deserves. Based on this issue, if this was all I had read, I would think I actually missed something worth reading. It really feels like the end to a massive, important and well focused story. It…it’s not but it does feel like it. I would read some of the summary bits and go, “Oh, that was what this whole series was supposed to be about? Wish they had really made that clear much muuuch earlier.” I seriously wish this series had worked how DC had intended it to. - Jinxo
DEAD SHE SAID #1
IDW Publishing
The highlight of this book so far is definitely Bernie Wrightson’s art. Here, the horror-meister pencils AND inks his own stuff for the first time in two decades. The result is a richly textured and finely detailed collection of moody panels with noirish overtones. The story, though, is a bit breezy. It opens kind of typically with the main character seemingly dead, yet still walking around and motivated to solve his own murder. The art and premise have me interested in issue two, but the lack of real meaty content in this issue makes for a light snack that runs the risk of being forgotten in a month when the second serving comes. This is one of those books that, if the next issue comes out, and I have a few extra shekels, I’ll probably buy, but I won’t be chomping at the bit for that day to come, if you know what I mean. - Bug 
POWER PACK: DAY ONE #2
Marvel Comics
Okay, back when it became clear the new POWER PACK comics had no continuity with the original series I said I washed my hands of them. And I’m sure most people could give a crap about Power Pack anyway. But the idea that they were going back to the origin story of the group got me a little interested. I really enjoyed the original series and missed some of the elements of that series in the new books, like their spaceship Friday. So on the one hand I wanted to check out the new book out of nostalgia and wanting to see those elements in play again. I also was curious to see if the new book would do right by the original book or utterly muck it up. The first issue didn’t throw me too far in either direction. Didn’t love it, didn’t hate it. This issue…I have to say I warmed to it a bit. It isn’t the original but I think it does right by the material and is a suitably fun ride. It was fun to be reading about Snarks and “magic” space horses. And it seemed like the writers were having some fun with the material. A Pink Floyd reference joke in a kid’s comic? I like that. In particular that it was a visual joke that they could have drawn in a very blatant almost parody-ish manner. Instead they went more subtle. On top of that the book opens and closes on lines that made me smile more than I expected to. Still don’t know how they’ll push what should still be tons of plot into just two more issues but for now, I’m a happy camper. - Jinxo
THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #8
DC Comics
I don’t know what’s worse--COUNTDOWN sucking for 52 straight issues or this miniseries which drops the ball horribly in the last few. Last week’s battle between Orion and Darkseid in COUNTDOWN was anti-climactic enough, but at least that one had some results. In this issue, we get yet another Orion/Darkseid match, but this one happens before the one released last week, so guess how edge-of-your-seaty this battle of the titans is? Worse yet, before Orion’s soul arrives to battle Darkseid, we are treated to around eight to ten pages of two god-like beings screaming at one another like two kids in a schoolyard who don’t really want to fight, but are afraid to back down because everyone is watching. Starlin had me throughout this entire series and I was extremely intrigued with the mystery behind who the God-Killer was, but after the lame reveal (it was the same guy who we thought it was…I think), everything went pear-shaped fast. Starlin shovels the discourse down our throats as if we had a hole in our collective necks and the only thing that can heal it is a shitload of discourse. The way this series worked (or failed to work is more like it) with the ending of COUNTDOWN is a blatant statement of how much of a mess DC is right now. They’re event crazy and tossing things like cohesion and continuity out the window in favor of rushing out product and staying on a weekly schedule. Knock it off, DC, and get your shit together! I’m a huge fan, but you’re losing me. - Bug 
SHE-HULK #28
Marvel Comics
It might partly be because I’m originally from Ohio and the idea of She-Hulk not only stomping around Cleveland but actually going to a Browns game makes me smile but I thought this issue was another solid fun outing for the Jade Giant. Or is the Jolly Green Giant the Jade Giant? Hell if I remember. I just know I’m consistently enjoying this book. What other hero would end up in jail twice in two issues? Ain’t easy bein’ green. The plot as well as the art popped for me. I think I want to frame the drawing of the Brown’s Dawg Pound. She-Hulk looked impressively heroic in what were really silly circumstances. And check out Jazinda avoiding being stabbed. She is really impressively bendy. She’s supposedly a Skrull but that girl might actually be goddamn Gumby. I did get confused at one point as characters were introduced that made me feel like I had missed an issue somewhere along the way, but then when it became clear that they were part of the missing chapters between the creative teams changing hands I actually sort of enjoyed being temporarily perplexed. I really like knowing that every month I can count on She-Hulk putting the comic back in my comic books. Too on the money? Too bad. She makes me laugh. - Jinxo
ROUND TWO / BRACKET TWO
Sixty-four of comic bookdom’s best fighters enter, only one will be crowned THE SECRET TOURNAMENT OF INFINITE @$$-KICKERY Champion. It’s comics’ version of March Madness, only it lasts a bit longer. Ambush Bug here, on behalf of the @$$Holes at AICN Comics, welcoming you all back to a contest unlike any other: boiling fanboyism down to its basics...whether one guy can kick the other guy's @$$.
Round Two continues this week. Sixty-four fighters have been whittled down to thirty-two. But before we move on to this week’s fights, let’s see the winners of last week’s bouts. There were a ton of submissions this week, but many weren’t used because combatants used weapons or powers to win. Remember: no powers or weapons!
JUDOMASTER VS TPYHOID MARY
Typhoid Mary looks across the ring to see Judomaster kicking the air, punching invisible targets and generally look like she could kick some serious ass – if she wasn’t wearing such a ridiculous costume. “You’ve gotta be kidding me, they sent Rainbow Brite after me!” Typhoid laughs. Judomaster jumps across the ring in one leap and punches Typhoid Mary in the face. Typhoid, for her part, just keeps laughing as the blood starts gushing down from her nose. “Ooh, you think that was a punch?” Typhoid says, “I’ll show you a punch!”.
Judomaster braces herself for whatever attack Typhoid might bring… but is completely bewildered when Typhoid starts punching herself in the face. “You ever see Fight Club?” Typhoid giggles in between a couple of broken teeth, “It went something like this!” Typhoid lands a few more punches on her own face, knocking herself down to the canvas.
Judomaster looks on in puzzlement. “That is one crazy mofo!” she says in Japanese, then turns to walk away. Big mistake. Typhoid suddenly pops up, and immediately lands a punch right in Judomaster’s neck, sending the human test pattern to the floor. “I freaking HATE yellow!” Typhoid rages, landing a punch that mercifully knocks Judomaster out of consciousness. “And green! And purple! And pink!” Blow after blow lands on Judomaster’s lifeless body, until she’s just a twitching mass of blood and dead flesh on the floor. Typhoid finally gets up and smiles. “But I gotta say, blood red looks absolutely AMAZING on you!”
WINNER: TYPHOID MARY
KATO VS BULLSEYE
“No weapons!” screams the ref. “Only your own bodies and wits.”Kato paces across the ring as the ref frisks Bullseye. At his feet, a deck of playing cards, a butterfly knife, three throwing stars, a pair of spikes, six darts, and a box of paperclips fall. The ref throws a frown to Bulleye who returns with a shrug and a smile.
Kato bows to his opponent, yet eyes him suspiciously while doing so. His suspicions are valid, as the man with the target on his head takes the sign of respect as an opportunity to attack.
The cheap shot was to no avail though, since Kato easily evades the blow and responds with a flurry of his own.
Bullseye’s head lolls right and left from the impacts. Kato is fast and doesn’t give him a chance to recover. More kicks and chops fly and connect, forcing the assassin to stagger backwards.
Kato silently moves in for the final blow with a swift roundhouse across Bullseye’s face.
Bullseye’s head spins, his body following suit, and after a 360, he lands on his back onto the mat.
Kato stands in a ready stance, bobbing back and forth from right leg to the left, not sure if his opponent is down for good.
Bullseye wipes the blood from his chin and smiles. A mad look in his eye. “Thank you.” As he smiles wider, his lips part to reveal a dark gap where his front tooth once was.
Bullseye spits the tooth across the ring and imbeds it deep into Kato’s eye socket. Kato slumps down slowly, leaking eyeball fluid all over the mat.
The ref makes his way to the ring and looks at Bullseye with discord.
“What, I didn’t use any weapons!” shrugs Bullseye, “I only used my body…”
WINNER: BULLSEYE
IRON FIST VS TUROK
“You bear the mark of the dinosaur on your chest, masked man.” Turok’s screams echo across the canyon.“Oh this?” Iron Fist points to his chest. “Just a tattoo I got after a particularly wild weekend in Vegas.”
The Native American isn’t amused. “I’ve spent my life hunting those creatures and you dare joke about them?”
“It’s the mark of Shou-Lao the Undying, chief. It allows for me to harness the power of the mystical kingdom of K’un Lun and make my fist like unto a thing of iron…which…uhm…doesn’t seem to be working right now.”
PAFF! Iron Fist’s fist puffs with energy for a moment then fades. PAFF! He sighs, “Well, looks like we do this the hard way.”
Iron Fist leaps, right leg extended and intended for the chin of the barechested Native American. Instead, Turok dodges and wraps his strong arms around the martial artist’s chest and clenches his fists together, squeezing the air from his opponent’s lungs.
Iron Fist drives the back of his head hard into Turok’s nose. His grip loosens and the large man staggers backward.
Seizing this opportunity, Iron Fist swings his leg and connects with a roundhouse kick across Turok’s face. A wash of blood splatters across the mountain wall, but Turok is still standing.
Iron Fist tries another roundhouse, but this time Turok catches the leg, uses his momentum against the martial artist, and pushes Iron Fist over the edge of the cliff.
Turok listens for the impact below. But no sound comes. Moving to the cliff edge, he sees Iron Fist clenching the rock face with a powerful grip.
Iron Fist grunts, “My pop spent quite a bundle on mountain climbing lessons. Wouldn’t have made it to K’un Lun without ‘em…”
“He taught me about which rocks to hang onto…” His free fist is clenched as well, “and which ones give.”
He punches the cliff, loosened by the battle, which crumbles and falls to the valley below--Turok along with it.
Iron Fist pulls himself up to safety then holds his depowered fist in agony. “Owww!”
WINNER: IRON FIST
BATMAN VS CAPTAIN AMERICA
When Steve Rogers thumbed the ID screen outside his Brooklyn safehouse, it made a noise he hadn't heard before. A shadow shifted behind the dumpster and the hair above his elbows stood up. His knees dipped into a ready bounce and he cocked his chin to the left."Bucky?" he asked the shadow.
"Batman," it answered. Rancid air flapped around the corner and it was on him. The punch sent the air out of his lung but he blocked the elbow aimed at his windpipe. Cap found purchase on the masked man's wrist and heaved him across the alley. The Batman hit the wall of the brownstone and rolled off.
"It was harder to find you than I thought," Batman said. "You're not registered."
"Not another one," said Cap. "Did Tony give you a couple of toys?" He feinted left and brought a roundhouse right. Batman caught it and was behind him in an instant, his arm snug around Cap's throat.
"Who's Bucky?" Batman asked.
"My partner," said Cap. "He died."
"I've been there," said Batman.
Little fireflies started to swim in on him and the dim orange light grayed. Steve took a half step to the left and stomped down hard on the top of Batman's foot, the first move they teach you in basic. He heard the crunch and the sweaty grip broke free.
"AGGH!" the shadow screamed. Batman fled to the left toward the opening of the alleyway, his limp uneven but swift. Cap was still wheezing for breath, but he stretched out and caught a fistful of cape.
"I'm surprised... this doesn't happen to you... more often," he said. He wrapped the heavy fabric once around his fist and heaved Batman behind him into the wall. "Always said these things were stupid."
WINNER: CAPTAIN AMERICA
Congratulations to all the winning participants. Winners will move on to Round Three. Be sure to check out this week’s bouts. But first, the rules:
@ To even the playing field, contestants are powerless and weaponless upon entering the ring. They must win on fighting prowess and character alone!
@ Check out the fights listed below and send a 300 word (or less) fight scene to us determining who the winner is and how the fight should play out. (Remember: it’s best to SHOW, don’t TELL in these submissions. That means write the scene as if it is happening, don’t tell us what will happen…it makes for more interesting readin’, don’t cha know!).
@ Be sure to indicate winner of each match in the subject line of your email.
@ Submissions are judged by a select group of @$$Holes (hint: we’re looking for the most entertaining one to win, not necessarily the one that has been done and over done in comics before. ORIGINALITY RULEZ!).
@ Winners of each match will be announced in the column a week later (that means if the fights were introduced in Monday’s SHOOT THE MESSENGER Column, the winner will be announced the following Monday, same for Wednesday’s reviews column).
@ Submissions can be sent in to @$$Hole HQ via the link below until midnight Friday.
@ THIS CONTEST IS NOT FOR PROFIT but done out of love for Fan Fic, comic book store trash talk, and online comic book debate.
@ Have fun and enter as many times as you’d like! There can be only one winner, it’s up to you who that turns out to be!
Here are this week’s combatants! Be sure to follow the links to find out how our fighters have gotten this far!
Bracket Two
Fight One
SILVER SABLE VS MOON KNIGHT
Fight One
SILVER SABLE VS MOON KNIGHT
Silver Sable hardly broke a sweat against Manhunter in the first round. But don’t expect this round to be such a cake-walk. Moon Knight took out the second man to wear the Robin costume in the first round with his quick wits. Both characters are weapons masters, but they are leaving them home for this weaponless match-up.
Which hero in white will make it to Round Three?
Bracket Two
Fight Two
NIGHTWING VS MVP
Since Blade resorted to cheating in the first round for using weaponry in this no weapons tourney, we’ve decided to disqualify the vamp hunter. So it looks like Nightwing gets a second chance in this tourney. But Round Two isn’t going to be any easier. MVP shocked us all when his youthful exuberance proved to be the better against Mr. Terrific’s skills.Fight Two
NIGHTWING VS MVP
Will the perfect human specimen have what it takes to beat the protégé of the Bat?
Bracket Two
Fight Three
KA-ZAR VS SHANG CHI
In our bloodiest battle yet, Ka-Zar proved to be King of the Jungle and beat Catman in a close match. But in Round Two he has to face the Master of Kung Fu. Shang Chi served Richard Dragon in Round One, not in a fight, but a dance off.Fight Three
KA-ZAR VS SHANG CHI
Will it be the Jungle King or the Martial Arts Master advancing to the next round?
Bracket Four
Fight Four
BLACK CAT VS WOLVERINE
Black Cat used a little manipulation to make her way to Round Two against Batwoman. She’ll have to use more than that when she faces one of the tournament’s most dangerous contestants. A Spelling Bee between Wolverine and Conan spelled defeat for the Barbarian from Cimmeria and victory for the feral mutant. Remember, this being a no power or weapon tourney, Wolvie is without his healing factor, claws, or enhanced senses. Same goes for Black Cat’s bad luck power.Fight Four
BLACK CAT VS WOLVERINE
Having teamed up in their own miniseries a while back, which fighter will win when they go head to head?
There’s Bracket Two’s matches. Send in your 300 word (or less) fight scenes to the link below. Deadline is Friday. Look for the winners of these match-ups in next Wednesday’s AICN COMICS REVIEWS Column. And you can still participate in Monday’s Round Two Bracket One matches.
USAGENT VS BANE
BLACK PANTHER VS CATWOMAN
WILDCAT VS RED SONJA
LADY SHIVA VS KARATE KID
Those of you complaining in the talkbacks, I challenge you to take a shot at it if you don’t like what you see. All of this is up to you. Don’t hate…participate!
Send your fight submissions here!
No weapons or powers, folks! Good luck, have fun, and go kick some @$$!
BLACK PANTHER VS CATWOMAN
WILDCAT VS RED SONJA
LADY SHIVA VS KARATE KID
Remember, if you have a comic book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.
Check out the @$$oles’ ComicSpace AICN Comics page here for an archive and more @$$y goodness.
And be sure to join us for next Monday’s AICN COMICS NEWS: SHOOT THE MESSENGER Column for an extremely cool interview with COMMUNION’s Whitley Strieber about his new comic THE NYE INCIDENTS OGN. Trust me, you’ll kick yourself if you miss this one.
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second?
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I was really expecting to feel much more filled with joy and buttercream after that.
Nevermind. -
If Batman wanted to take Cap down and time to prepare, Cap wouldn't have a chance. In an unprepared cage match, Bats would probably lose but in the scenario presented here he'd find a way to take him out like he did with the entire JLA.
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even without the prep, Bats would mop up Cap no worries. but i guess we should have submitted a better fight. one where Bats doesn't get his foot broken by the oldest trick in the book.
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i'm glad Nightwing is back in the competition.
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It's refreshing to see personal accoutability.
Like the folks that bitch about politicians, but don't vote. If you don't like these stories, get out there and submit.
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when my Nightwing vs Blade fight didn't get picked. you know how it is. just like how i'll never vote again because Dub got "elected" twice .
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but it is.
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If it's a no powers allowed fight can someone please explain me how can one of the greatest hand-to-hand combat experts and master tactitians of the DC universe lose a fight against a small frail man? Because without powers means no muscle and agility for Captain America...
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It's been established that the Super Soldier serum has since worn from Cap's system and he now ages and functions as a normal man in peak condition. Gru did a really great story where a kid approaches Cap about the drugs in his system and because Cap was a true hero, he decided to purge himself in some way that was probably all super-hero-y in some kind of super-hero-y situation that I don't recall. But I do remember that the end result was that the serum was out of his system by the end of the story.
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"Start...quoting him now..."Sorry. Seen "Kiss Me, Kate" too many times.
"Brush up your Gruenwald,
and the @##holes you will wow!" -
..have been able to plan and execute a secret invasion over hte past several years when the skrulls have been completely fucked in the past few years. We've had the fall of the skrull empire, their throne world destroyed, leaving them controlled by hundreds of seperate warlords who fight among themselves and then the annihilation wave which destroyed a shit load of their planets.
So how with all this have they been able to orchestrate such a masssive scale invasion? -
What is the hate against DC? None of their characters would beat anyone else? The way it is going, Peter Porker or Willie the Mailman would beat Superman.
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could kind of be like a 'clone saga' for the entire Marvel Universe. Finding out that characters you've been reading and invested in for years weren't really who you thought they were. Just a thought. Cap vs. Batman is a new low. A choke-hold and a foot stomp. Jesus.
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Do you think that DC Comics will ever give us the death or absence of Bruce Wayne with Nightwing or Jason Todd or Tim Drake taking up the mantle of the Batman?
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in that 'Prodigal' storyline that came after Knightfall in the 90s. I have no real idea what Morrison's planning for Batman R.I.P., but with the movie so anticipated, I don't think they're going to put anyone else behind the mask any time soon.
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That was the rumour for a year or so at the moment, and possibly will happen with Batman RIP with Dick taking up the mantle whilst the iconic Bruce Wayne as Batman will be the Earth 1 version as part of their megaverse idea. Which Marvel has been doing for years, but they have a cool name to lure in readers that they can stamp on their books, which instead they should focus on how to make their characters cooler which is what Geoff Johns did with Green Lantern.
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The Big ending of DC Universe #0.
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Barry Allen is back!
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I guess my frustration has been that we see the Bat Family (not Batman himself) age in the comics but Batman remains ageless and I've been hoping to see someone take the role over ever since the idea was put into my head with 52. I'll check out the Prodigal storyline. I'm a recent DC convert having gotten fed up with Marvel and I've been trying to back fill as much as I can and read any DC comic I can. I've hit the "best" comics like Hush, Dark Knight Returns, Man Who Laughs, Killing Joke, 52, Infinite Crisis, Identity Crisis, 52, Kingdom Come, etc. etc.
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I wouldn't put 'Hush' as a 'best' anything. The DC stuff to really check out is Geoff John's Green Lantern, which is the best the book or the character has ever been, and his early run on JSA. Morrison's 'Seven Soldiers' was pretty great, though I still can't make sense of it really. I think 'Final Crisis' is supposed to tie into that series as well as other stuff.
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and they'll keep losing fans. They (the silver age fanboys that write and Dan DiDio) keep catering to the old readers that remember fondly the very silly Silver Age. Wally West>Barry Allen. I don't keep track of stuff like that but, are sales any better now for DC?
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The editors are just struggling to sell books as the population slowly sinks into poverty and illiteracy.
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Way to add SPOILER TAGS for those readers who don't get their books til the weekend. I don't ever use this word, but this is an actual worthy case: DOUCHEBAGS. FUCKING DOUCHEBAGS.Now for those gentle souls out there who were just damaged by the spoilers, have a brain enema: T: "So whose story are we writing up today, Miss Muse?" M: "Oh, no one's today, Trickster. I'm just surfing.." T: "We get wireless in this hideout? Cold! Since when did we get wireless?" CC: "You're a little behind the times, Mr. Jesse. You should see this thing they call a telev-- THAT WAS A FOUL!! HIGH STICKING!!" M: "It's mystic wireless, Tricks. I'm reading up on this universe from the next one over. Character research 'n all." T: "And what kind of research might this be, exactly? Do I feature?" M: "Actually.. Ever hear of yaoi?" T: "Yowee? What, is that like a search engine?" P: "That's quite enough, young lady!" M: "Piper! Give me back the use of my eyes now!" P: "This is not stuff you should be looking at. Especially not here and..ohmygod.. That's me.." T: "And me..with you..Piper.." P: "And we're..." T: "..It's a darn good likeness.." P: "..Great coloring.." M: "This is what's known as girl porn." T: "Porn? Hey...does your beau know you're looking.." WW: "Does he know you're looking at what?" P: "Mardon!" T: "Nothing to see here, move along." WW: "Oh, that? You two make a cute couple. Really." T: "And you're not concerned about your lady looking..at my.." WW: "I learned long ago that she only gets weirder by the day and it's futile to stop her." T: "Ahh..." P: "Wait.. That?" T: ".. ...i-is there more of this?" M: "Whole communities, in fact. It's a wonder how quickly fantasies grow and take hold in the internet age.."T: "..."P: "You idiot! We should've let the Suicide Squad ship us off-planet with the rest!"T: "I'm the idiot? You're the one who's.." M: "You know what it really means if you give in to insecure gay-bashing.." T: "Argh! I. Am. Not.." M: "Don't tell me you're not a little light in the loafers, Mr. Air-Walker Shoes!" T: "Oh, ha ha.. We got that one out of the way the first year after we all teamed up." M: "If the shoe fits.." T: "Gah!" M: "Well it's not like you're the only two.." T: "There's others? Who?" M: "Well..." P: "Hey, why're you looking in my direction?" M: "Not that I don't think it brave a thing that you did, coming out, hon, but it does kinda put you in the default position..." T: "No talking about positions!" P: "Who, Muse?" M: "Everyone up to Murmur.." P: "... ...I'm a slut.." T: "Well look at it this way, man. It's probably a good thing you're never getting head from him.." P: "You on the other hand.." T: "Arrr.." P: "Your bubblegum gun? You better be careful where you shoot your wad there, champ.." T: "grrr.." M: "It's more mix'n'match than anything, guys.. There are just..certain pairings, around here, which generate more friction than others..." WW: "From which I'm safely exempt, right babe?" M: "Oh don't even with start with me with your chest cleavage. You're just a pornstache away from crossing wands with Kadabra!" WW: "That was Gambi, and that was the 70s!" M: "And when exactly did you decide to finally change your duds?" WW: "…I could grow a pornstache.." M: "Ew! ...though come to think of it, a thought crossed my mind while we were robbing that destroyer that was in dock a few months ago. All of you should've just started singing 'In The Navy' and gotten it on already.." T: "I thought we only let sane people into this sacred brotherhood.." M: "You wear brightly-colored costumes and you don't have a flair for the theatrical? Not that there's anything wrong with that.." * half an hour later *P: "Hey miss? I was wondering, do you think you could, if I brought you a jump drive..." M: "Sure, Piper.." * five hours later *T: "Ok, I just have to ask.."M: "You want to see what I'm ogling?" T: "I'm a concerned citizen. Wanna know if justice is being done.." M: "You want me to make you a..." T: "Just so long as we keep this between our lonesomes.." M: "Even including the.." T: "The full monty.. er..."
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...airbrush-look coloring style. Everything they do looks like bad van paintings from the 1970s. Ugh.
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You wouldn't have to read these spoilers in talkbacks.
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Censoring content? So when people post spoilers, we can't pass responsibility to them, it must be AICN's fault?Okay, no one bears any personal responsibility for anything. Fine. Now run to the mailbox and pick up your welfare check as you curse "the man" for keeping you down.And when "its" is used to show possession, it's "its." The contraction of "it's" is always short for "it is." Just sayin'.
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you were holding AICN responsible for not pulling YOUR OWN spoiler!Oh my stars and garters...words fail me...
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I think he was complaining about AICN not having a separate story since it's already been reported in the NY Daily News. Therefore, instead of spoilering the hell out of the fine readers here, cooky, you would've just pointed everyone to that TB instead of typing the very words you typed. Instead of directing everyone to one of the myriad other places around the web that are covering it, natch. Oi the chutzpah on this one!
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The spoiler's fine by me, since I had zero intention of purchasing the book and think the character in question is a typically personality-free Silver Age alter ego that we're really better off without.
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Him and his collaborator, whose name escapes me are easily crafting the best looking top tier series right now. I hope Brubaker and them stay on for a long time cause they're giving Whedon and Cassaday a run for their money I reckon.
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It was a no big for me, too. I just felt like generally bitchin' for a moment. Don't mind me, please.
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that's EXACTLY what Joe Mad's art on Ultimates 3 looks like. Every panel of that shit looks like it should be on the side of a big 70s econoline van.
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Boo-fucking-hoo. Here's a thought; if you want your reading experience to remain completely untainted, maybe, just maybe, you should avoid internet forums where the latest comics news is discussed. Maybe?
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Is Jeph Loeb the most uneven popular writer or what? I knew the guy used to write for Liefeld, but he still managed to pull off Batman: Long Halloween, Spider-Man-Blue, and Superman For All Seasons, all of which I love. But recently he penned those god awful Michael Bay-esque Superman/Batman arcs, and now Ultimates 3 which borders the so-bad-it-must-be-parody area that Frank's ASBAR is occupying.
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Maybe you don't remember, or maybe you didn't finish the storyline to its conclusion, but that story where Cap flushes the super soldier serum led to the story where Cap was dying because of it. This culminated to the ridiculous Cap Armor story. The end result was that the Super Soldier Serum is self replicating in Steves bloodstream. He will always be a super soldier. And not to mince words or anything, but Cap is more than peak human, he's the ultimate level of physical and mental perfection a human could ever be, which was stated in the first issue.
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Our column goe scooped by the NY Daily News! How could such a thing happen? Next you'll tell me we missed an exclusive interview with Tom Cruise and he went to Oprah instead! What's that? It happened earlier this week? SUNUVABITCH!
Seriously, guys: I got the press release from DC about this situation THIS MORNING in the context of "hey, guess what the NYDN just reported!" They obviously released the story to them first, just like when Marvel chose a news outlet to drop the "Cap is dead" bomb. It's not because we're not doing our "jobs" (a wholly asinine allegation to begin with): it's that we can't tell you something we don't know, and DC chose who to tell and in what manner. This column was finished and ready to be posted as of last night, and we didn't have word until after the column was up.
If you haven't figured it out by now, here's the deal: we buy our own comics, we read 'em that week, we review 'em the next. News stories drop in "Shoot The Messenger" on Mondays, and since we didn't find out about the resurrection until today, it couldn't possibly be covered until then.
And for those of you who've read this far, if you want a real news scoop (that I'm stealing from elsewhere) regarding FINAL CRISIS #1, then fine-- here it is: J'onn J'onzz? Looks like he's a frikkin' dead man. As in, that's the guy the big memorial issue after FN #1 will be about, as if you couldn't tell from the leaked cover that's nothing but flames. I mean, sure, it could be Firestorm's head, but honestly, MM seems a lot more likely. You heard it here third or fourth or worse: Martian Manhunter's done for. -
Yes, we would all love to get the books early so the reviews are up the day the books hit the shelves, but there's a price.
That price is integrity. As soon as you pan one of these books, the early distribution dries up.
That's why I'm proud to be an @$$hole, there is no pandering for the sake of perks. -
No wonder the comics industry has such a high suicide rate.
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Is anyone planning on reviewing Dave Sim's "Glamourpuss"? Dave Sim doing a comic about a super-model should be interesting at the very least...
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for a moratorium on Thalya's fan fiction. It's unpleasant even to scroll past.
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Have you SEEN Glamourpuss? My LCS had the advanced copy months ago. I don't think the @$$holes really want to get involved in discussing Dave Sim's latest misogynistic rant. Oh wait, I'm sorry, I meant the now former pedophilic Dave Sim's latest misogynistic rant (couched in discussions of the stylings of a particular 20th century artist, no doubt to give it 'merit').
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Never happen.
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Another great read.
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I've almost completely cut my Marvel reading to the kid/young adult lines... Power Pack, Marvel Adventures, First Class... they are refreshing, fun, and somehow at the same time seem less juvenile than the main marvel books. I mean, I just read Millar's FF, and it seemed like a fifteen-year-old trying desperately to be cool and adult wrote it.
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Is it really suicide or are peeps accidentally strangling themselves while jerking off to Kitty Pryde or whoever?
And who the hell is Brandon Choi? Not the same Brandon Choi who used to write for Wildstorm, is it? -
thanks for cleaing that up, you just owned.
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I know you guys are reviewers, not reporters, but I've got to wonder, aren't there any C.H.U.D.s in the comic business? I always assumed that's how AICN made it's rep, by having a network of tattletale fans. Or maybe I'm just thinking of the good old days. After all, comics are written and drawn MONTHS in advance. Surely there must have been somebody who could have spilled the beans. Even your Martian Manhunter info is just a guess based on a flaming cover. I think AICN should live up to it's name and provide NEWS, even if they have to invest in an AP feed.
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he would tit fuck those huge boobies
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That's the exact reason I miss Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane so much. Heard it's coming back in Sept I think?
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SPOT ON review of Uncanny X-Men. The opening action sequence was one of the best I've seen in any medium in a long time. Awesome stuff.
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Apr 30, 2008 1:47:32 PM CDT
"I don't think the @$$holes really want to get involved in discu
by rev_skarekroe
Why not? I think it'd be a welcome change from the usual, ultimately silly, controversies about men in tights.
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Comments like that make reviewing well worth the effort.
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I'd like to see a discussion of glamourpuss. Who says that a great work of art can't exhibit any prejudices, can't be, for instance, misogynistic? I haven't read the book, but the illustrations I've seen are gorgeous. Love him or hate him, Sim is an important artist in the medium we congregate to chat about, and it seems like his work should be examined here (at least once).
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But first I'd have to read it, and I'll be fucked if any of my money goes to support that douchebag. The only thing by him I own is his single issue of SPAWN from back in the day, and obviously I bought that long before I knew who and what Sim was. Now? Not with my money. Hell, not with *your* money.
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I'm sorry, but Batman would kick Cap's ass.
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as a character. Can't he: become invisible, read minds, project his thoughts, shapeshift, fly???? Am I missing anything? A completely overpowered character. But wait! He *IS* allergic to fire...
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I did it every month for nearly 20 years. I'll review the damn book here in the Talkback if I manage to make it to the funnybook shop this weekend.
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I think Sim's kind of fascinating. Craziness and all.
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But Batman would kick his ass.
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You find older men mentally manipulating and molesting (but he SWEARS he didn't! Really!) underage girls fascinating? Nice to know...
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Batman would eventually beat Captain America. It's his relentless nature. Besides he's beaten guys faster and stronger than Cap. The cape would be a disadvantage, though. No wonder most of the Marvel Superheroes don't wear them.
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I find Dave Sim's comic work kind of fascinating. Yes. Absolutely. I don't know the story with Sim 'mentally mainpulating and molesting underage girls', and if it's true, gee, I'd think he'd be in jail or something, but you're confusing the art with the artist. Do you like 'Chinatown'? Assuming you said yes, then you must also like older men fucking thirteen year old girls. Calm the fuck down.
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I'd hate to see Psynapse's opinion of Alan Moore after reading "Lost Girls". That's the sickest comic I've read that didn't come wrapped in black plastic.
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He's a habitual linestepper!
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--then I hope society judges him harshly and a punishment is meted out that fits the crime. But the idea that an otherwise reprehensible person can't produce something of beauty is just plain wrong. You think your favorite writers and artists haven't done some fucked up things in their lives? If I found out, say, that Van Gogh did something horrible, I wouldn't lose any admiration for his paintings.
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...Deathstroke the terminater without throwiing his ultility belt at him and praying. He aint beating Cap without three weeks of vaunted "prep time".
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..because he's Batman's equal or near equal in all the ways that count, yet he isn't crippled by being "The Batman" in the DC universe, so it's ok to see him use his acrobatics to run from people like Deathstroke and focus on fufilling whatever task he needs to fulfill. Hell, there is two Batmen in the DCU anyway: the one in his own comic and the one that appears in the JLA and every other comic he appears in. The one appearing in his own comic can be taken by surprise by mook #3 with a folding chair while the Batman in other characters titles owns a white martian spaceship and gives darkseid the willies...sheesh.
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If he can beat Superman, he can beat Cap.
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Apr 30, 2008 6:15:52 PM CDT
No, AnakinsDiapers is right (what an embarrasing collection of w
by rev_skarekroe
But yeah, are we talking about the Batman who has a hard time stopping a midget with gimmick umbrellas or the Batman who creates super satellites that spy on everyone in the world with powers?
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I know I'm referencing Hush but Batman beat Joker into a bloody pulp and had to be stopped by Catwoman and Gordon before he almost killed him.
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When I was working on my Bachelor's, one of the required classes for my concentration was theater criticism.
The very first "rule" laid forth by my prof, was that you want to separate the piece from the production.
Meaning, you can hate the words the actors are saying, but are they at least saying them convincingly?
When watching Fiddler, you can find backwards ass 100 year ago Russia more boring than Granny Porn, but did the set designer make a convincing boring landscape?
Look at the Sim issue the same way.
You can hate the man, but you don't have to hate what the man produces.
Some use their craft to bleed their personalities all over the page, while others use the page as a shield to avoid who they truly are.
Maybe Sim is the latter? -
You had the sage separate art from artist thing already -- my bad!
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I wish I was at my home computer. Okay, reviewer so sort of disqualified from the Tournament to some extent. But I had the idea for a wildly wrong and strange Batman/Cap battle. For a laugh I wrote it up. Now I'm jonesing to post it in TB for the hell of it but... I'm not at home where I have it stored! I forwarded to the @$$holes though so I'm hoping... if any of you guys can find that, could you throw it up in the TB. It's utterly wrong and not anything that should ever be thought of as a valid fight. But it was so wrong it made me laugh as I wrote it.
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He's also producing a commodity. If I find him objectionable, I vote with my dollars by not buying his product. In exactly the same way, I don't go see movies from the kiddie-fucker who made "Jeepers Creepers" and I don't pay money to watch Roman "I'm a piece of shit on legs" Polanski. I've made the decision that since these three guys make their living off of their art, and I want them dead, I'm not going to help them make their livings.
And speaking of Polanski: do I like "Chinatown"? You bet. But the first time I saw it was before I knew he got a 13 year old girl drunk, drugged her, raped her, and then fled the country to escape prosecution. It was also before he said the only reason guys like me hated him was because we were jealous and wished we could do the same. No, asshole, it's because you're a fucking animal and deserve to be put down like one. So no, I don't go see Polanski movies. Hell, I don't even watch 'em on cable for free. Why? Cuz fuck that guy.
How does this relate to Dave Sim? Cuz I don't like batshit insane misogynistic pedophiles, so I won't buy his projects. That's how. -
--not wanting to give the dude your money. Fair enough. What I took issue with was the assertion that if I appreciate the art of someone who's done a terrible thing, I must condone the terrible thing, which is not the case.
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...but you're paying for the legal fees. Or, at the very least, solidifying the idea in their minds that there are people out there who agree with them. This is especially true of Sim, whose whacked-out belief system is impossible to divorce from his work because he writes about it in every issue, both in the story and in the letters pages. If he were creating art distinct from his personal failings, that'd be one thing--we've all enjoyed music by people who drink excessively, use drugs, womanize, etc.--but when the art is a direct expression of those failings, it's a little harder to ignore.
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to have beliefs I don't share, and to express them in his art. His art can be compelling AND I can disagree with the beliefs he expresses in it. In fact, that his art is built around such crazy failings somehow makes it more interesting to me in ways. And there's a world of difference between someone thinking women suck and expressing that philosophy in a comic, and someone being a pedophile. I never heard the pedophile story. Did he do time?
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batman v. cap...well um, batman...i mean, batman can't even beat batman. how do you expect some else too? damn...i'm hungry...
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I called Jonn Jonz' death when Morrison did the interview, couple the cover of Requiem with the human flame who is a manhunter villain and wants libra to prove he can offer him things. etc. and yeah I spoiled the Barry Allen return.
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Okay, home now. So here is my way wrong take on the Batman/Captain America fight. DC, Marvel and comic books fans everywhere, you should all rightly be apalled.
Captain America heads to the ring, Batman already sits menacingly in his corner, his cape hanging down in front of his body. As the Captain hops over the ring, waving to his cheering fans, Batman stares across at him, all that is visible of him is his scowling mouth and his eyes damning Captain America to hell.
Captain America happily swaggers to the center of the ring. Batman moves with frightening purpose to the center. Is he trying to gain a psychological edge on the patriotic hero? They acknowledge each other and the bell rings.
Almost faster than the eye can follow Batman turns and begins to run away from Captain America. Around and round he goes crying plaintively for Captain not to hurt him. Batman’s womanly high pitched cries shock and confuse the crowd. Captain America is bewildered. Some near the ring later claim they could see him mouth the words, “What the f***???” As Batman finally curls into a ball in the corner of the ring, Captain America cautiously approaches, asking, “Hey, are you okay? Calm down? What’s wrong with you?” Batman continues to cower and whimper. He keeps saying he wants his dolly. Cap says, “It’s okay, we’ll find your dolly.” Then, as he is right on top of Batman, suddenly insane rage flares in the Batman’s eyes. It’s too late. Before Cap can react Batman punches Cap right in the troat, crushing Caps windpipe. Cap falls to the mat gasping for air. Batman leaps to his feat. His shouts of, “Yeah! Yeah! That’s right! Take that you whore mongerer!” as he flexes and poses WWE style draw shocked gasps from the crowd. Medics try to get to Cap but Batman is just insane with rage. Eventually, just to reach Cap they have to taser Batman repeatedly. He is taken out on a stretcher, still mumbling threats to eat the medics’ hearts.
In a luxury box above the ring, a beautiful young playmate looks on in shock. “I can’t believe that just happened. That was the strangest thing I have ever seen. That seemed very unlike Batman.”
“It did, didn’t it? I’m sorry you had to see that,” answered her date, playboy millionaire Bruce Wayne. Bruce reflected on the awkward spot he had been placed in and wondered if he had done the right thing. Bruce Wayne had been invited to this very high profile event. His not attending would have been noticed. His disappearing during Gotham’s greatest hero’s match would also not have gone unnoticed. He had felt there was only one choice: the old dress-Alfred-up-as-Batman ruse. It shouldn’t work but it always did. Of course, stepping into the ring would require more of Alfred than just “looking” like the Batman. He would have to be able to put up a solid fight. Powers, gadgets and such had been banned from use but Batman felt the situation required a slight bending of the rules, otherwise Alfred would have had no chance. Thus, before entering the ring, Alfred had been given a cocktail mix of various energy and muscle enhancing substances as well as some experimental psychotropic drugs from his company’s pharmaceutical division. He had hoped Alfred would have reacted a little less extremely, that he wouldn’t have appeared quite so coked up. Still bottom line, it actually had worked. Alfred had won! Wow. The end of the match would also provide adequate cover for Bruce’s departure to check on what had happened to Batman. With a little finesse he could get in and switch places with Alfred before anyone was the wiser. He would enter the next round with an edge, coming in fresh while his opponent would be worn from his first round.
As he headed down to the ring, guilt weighed on Bruce. He didn’t expect things to go this extreme. Alfred had insisted on helping. Still, even knowing that after the fight he had the tech and contacts to undo any physical/psychological damage done to Alfred, Bruce still should have said no. Too late now. Nothing to do but head down, secret Alfred off to expert medical help and suit up from the next round. -
According to current continuity, he somehow managed to make it through that entire conflict without taking one life. Yep. And that's one reason I prefer Ultimate Captain America.
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I didn't buy any of them. Neither did Sharon Tate, for that matter.everyone draws their own lines where they must. It's okay that they are not necessarily in the same spot in the sand.
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YouTube her. A tragic loss there for hetero guys everywhere. Look for the movie she did with Dean Martin and you'll get why.
You have to decide whether you want to contribute to the artist's debauchery.
Polanski got money from every movie he made, and whoever went to see those films fed his coffers.
If you hate an artists morality, but love their work, it's a damn tough decision. -
but seeing as how we were talking Polanski, the comparison DID come to mind.However, comparing murder to pedophilia is really an insult to murderers everywhere, so you're correct in that respect.And yes, we should stop before some idiot screams in all-caps "This is just like nazi germany!" the last refuge of poor debaters.
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Or does he just have a comic that involves pedophiles? Because if that's all it takes, you people had better not pick up another Alan Moore book for as long as you live.
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In the interest of fairness: http://tinyurl.com/4lc8boThere's your review have at it.
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A few years back I had read about dave Sim dating a 15 year old (but swearing it was non-physical in nature), later marrying and then divorcing her. I can't find bio information on Deni Loubert (his 1st wife) so i can't confirm if it was her I had read about. if anyone can find the articles, please post the Tinyurl and thanks.
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Douchebaggery? Sure depending on my mood that day (takes one to know one of course). Unaware? Not nearly as much as juvenile name callers with too little sense to know when an argument is dropped in favor of civility (That and after spendin 4 days in the hospital and nearly dying with Pneumonia and a torn lung, verbal "I pwned you suckah" matches on the internet aren't quite as interesting as they once were).
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So the pedophilia accusation is based on a rumor that you recollect hazily and have no way of verifying. I'll just be moving on, then.
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We've gone from "you find Sim's work fascinating, you must find pedophilia fascinating" to "I think I maybe heard once somewhere that he dated a 15 year old, but it wasn't physical." Then Devilcat provides the timely reminder that sex with an adolescent isn't pedophilia (and, according to the supposed, half-recalled rumor, Sim didn't have sex with the girl). Terrific. Glad to know the righteous indignation isn't taken up lightly. Ahem.
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Point 1:Pedophilia N. a sexual attraction to children OR...The act or fantasy on the part of an adult of engaging in sexual activity with a child or children.**Notice the lack of the term 'prepubescent' in EITHER definition (which are taken right from Dictionary.com and verified with Merriam-Webster). NEVER try to school me in the english language, you'll lose every time as unlike you, I actually know it. (and hey, ask anyone if 15 ISN't a child okay?)Point 2: I just openly admitted that I had read online what I understood to be Sim's underage activities that I now cannot find a record of. Nice to know that admitting you may be mistaken only gets you further insulted. Way to exemplify humanity jackass. Point 3: Considering that A) I'm the one who initially made the comparison and that B) you take any and every opportunity you can to crassly belittle me what assumption would have been the correct one may I ask? Oh wait, I'm yet again attempting a civil discourse with you, something you clearly lack a capacity for. Lastly, regardless of WHAT Dave Sim's 'activities" have been, I KNOW that am one of the 'Homosexualists' that Sim claims is part and parcel of the ruination of the modern world so you and anyone like you who choose to support such a hate-mongering asshole (not @$%$hole so take note) can go fuck yourself with a chainsaw. Because if you support a hate-monger in any way then YOU are one as well.
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And what do I come away from this heated debate? A fascination with the word "Mongerer". We need to using that word more. Mostly it just get the bad rap. Whore monger. Hate monger. But then there's like fish mongerer, all alone, the one not shitty mongerer. And we don't fully use all versions of the word. Monger? Check. Mongerer? You betcha. Mongering? ALl the time. But that's about it and usually with another word. Never here, "Hey Thad, wanna see a movie tomorrow." "I would but I have some mongering today. I tried to monger some kittens yesterday but, man, no one wants a kitten mongered to them at the prices I charge."
Vending machine? Hells no. Now it's a Candy Mongering Machine.
Two Japanese comics companies merged and began writing a comic about a guy who sells wild street dogs. It's a Mergered Mongrel Mongerer Manga. -
Seriously balancing someone doing immoral horrible crap against using something they output for societal use or consumption is tricky. Somebody does creepy twisted stuff, okay, I'm not really wanting to give him my money. But, seriously, what if he does produce some transcendant artistic work. Not saying a guy who messes with kids and then writes about it. But what if it turned out DaVinci liked to do horrible things involving shaved monkeys and a spatula. Really dsgusting things. Do you throw out or discount what he's done?
And bringing up Nazi's isn't crazy off base. This issue is a double sliding scale. On the one hand what horrible crap someone did, on the other what benefit are you trying to weigh against it. So creepy child toucher, hard to justify buying a comic that will put cash in his pocket. But what about some twisted Nazi freak who performed atrocious experiments. Now growing up I always heard that all the evil "experiments" the Nazi's did were crazy and pointless and of no scientific value. But I've also heard that some of the stuff they did actually did produce usable data. In particular I believe there were experiments about air pressure and depressurization relevant to air travel. Now lets be clear, I'm talking evil vile unforgivable they'll-rot-in-hell-for-it experiements. But supposedly some of theose experiments lead to some advancements in airline tech. I'm sure someone will say I got that wrong. For the sake of argument, lets say it is true. So, should we not travel by air? Aren't we taking benefit from those evil deeds and by benefitting from them in some way passively condoning them? Not throwing stones at either side on this fight with this. When I heard that this was potentially true I sat and tried to think through the moral implications of it.
Bottom line it gets complicated morally and emotionally no matter what scale the issue in question. And not to imply messing with kids is "lesser". That is way wrong. But I do think saying someone who would buy the works of someone guilty of a sin is guilty by proxy of the exact same sin. If you KNOWINGLY support someone guilty of some heinous deed then you might be guilty of A sin but I don't think it's fair to say you are guilty of the same sin. That's just too easy a way for well intentioned people to start going too far with hate themselves. Call a hate mongerer a hate mongerer. Call a pedophile a pedophile. Call those who support them "creeps that support them" and be done with it. -
Seriously, I was expecting SOMEONE to yell at me for something in there. Meant to effect the yelling, not stop it. Come on you yellers, get back to it. Don't let the new guy stop you cold.
Damn. I killed the old yellers. -
Looks like your shit-fu is weak today.
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How DAAARE you Rock ME. How daaaare you insult the man's Kung Fu??? What you trying to start something? Are ya? Work with me now. Are ya starting something?
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Jacko seems dangerously close to calling me Michael Jackson or crazy like him or some such crap. That is way out of line. I am nothing like that crazy bastard. Except for multiple plastic surgeries. And singing like a woman. And the fact that I moonkwalk everywhere. But I have never haphazzardly dangled a baby out a window. If I'm putting a baby out of a window I mean business. None of this, "Oopsie," crap. No way. Solid punt right through the uprights and away he goes.
Seriously I am so different from Michael Jackson it's like night and an entirely different night. -
talkback mongerer.