Cool News
Massawyrm Says BABY MAMA Only Delivers A Stillborn Mess!!
Hola all. Massawyrm here.
Epic. Fail. Is it possible for me to hate a movie worse than this? Sure. Do I want to even think about the movies that I do? Not even for a second. This. Movie. Stinks. It is a tepid, lame, middling turd bomb that just festers and falls apart on the screen before your eyes. It is not clever. It is not original. In fact, it is everything it looks like from the trailer. It is just another Odd Couple knockoff in which we slap an uptight, successful blue state city slicker into a situation with a dumbfuck red state hick. Hoo boy! Can’t wait to see how this one turns out! I wonder if they’ll come to some sort of understanding and ultimately become friends?
But what is really incredibly frustrating is that despite how bad this looks from its initial trailer, it radiates this odd sense of hope. At least I was hopeful. After all, who would have thought a movie about catty teenage girls starring (then trouble free) Lindsey Lohan would have been watchable or even good? But Fey (who wrote and costarred in it) pulled it off in a big way with Mean Girls. And when NBC was rolling out two different shows in the same season about the behind the scenes goings-ons at Saturday Night Live - one an hour long Dramedy by genius Aaron Sorkin and one a half hour sitcom - who would have bet that it would be Fey’s 30 Rock that would not only outlive the other, but continually get better?
So when you roll up to me with an awkward trailer that looks like someone pitched The Odd Couple meets Baby Boom, the only thing keeping me from listening to my quivering asshole urging me to stay as far fucking away from this as humanly possible was my hope that Fey could pull it off once more. Throw in the fact that she could again riff with Amy Poehler (who together brilliantly manned the Weekend Update desk before Fey’s departure from SNL) - then crank it up a notch by adding in Greg Kinnear, Dax Shepherd and Steve Martin - and this screams surprise hit.
I should have listened to my quivering asshole.
Tina Fey didn’t write this. She sure as fuck didn’t direct it. And I hope to God on high that she isn’t proud of it. It is not anywhere near the standards we have come to expect from her and sadly everything it appears to be. Pedestrian, mindless drek with nary a laugh in sight. What few laughs there were for the audience (I never laughed, not once) were verbatim from the trailer. And what few moments of genuine charisma actually manage their way out of the mire of this stool sample quickly find themselves sucked back in by the powerful vacuum that is all the jokes that fail.
The music is abysmal, a painful cacophony of tones that daintily tell you what a delightful comedy you’re supposed to be watching. It was one slide whistle and a bonk sound away from being ripped right out of Hannah-Barbara. Speaking of cartoons, Poehler is given an embarrassingly bad character to play. Her character Angie isn’t redneck stupid. She’s Homer Simpson stupid. Steve Martin is given a character that is kind of cute for half a scene. Oh look, they’re making fun of the Richard Branson types. Sadly the scene continues and is followed by his appearance in another twelve. And while there are a few lines that sound like they would be great on paper, the ham fisted, amateur direction ensured that not a single one of those really worked. And who the fuck in their right minds puts Will Forte and Fred Amisen in a film, gives them each 30 seconds of screen time and has them play the straight men in a scene? Here you have two guys who deliver great, small dose insanity and you bring them in for walk-ons? And don’t let them be funny? It is just another illustration of how much talent this film had only to squander it to create a senseless, lowest common denominator skid mark.
I don’t walk out of movies. It’s against my religion. Some people whip themselves for forgiveness. Some people blow themselves up for virgins. I watch every last minute of movies like Baby Mama. But this movie tested my faith. Oh it tested me. I wanted to walk out so bad that I had to fight the urge by beating my head against the railing I was sitting next to. At one point I had to relieve myself and when I stood up one of my friends audibly gasped. He thought I had finally broken. Fuck that. I sat through Meet the Spartans and Over Her Dead Body. Both in that same fucking theatre. I wasn’t going to let this rancid plopping ass lemming best me. And while this film is certainly better than those two miserable wastes of my life, it isn’t by very much.
But who knows, you could always make a game out of it or something. I mean you could get a bunch of friends together, rent this with the cinematic masterpiece My Baby’s Daddy, throw 50 bucks a piece into a hat and put a rusty screwdriver in everyone’s lap. The last one with both their eyesight and eardrums intact takes home the pot. Not that I’m suggesting it, just saying you could do it.
Until next time friends, smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
Massawyrm
Got something for the Wyrm? Mail it here.
Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus-
+ Expand All
-
Harold and Kumar 2008.
-
the sequel....
-
This is very disappointing. As you point out, the combination of Tina Fey and Amy Pohler has worked well before, and it would be great to see a big small to big screen leap for each of them. This doesn't necessarily convince me not to see it, but I'm not looking forward to it anymore.
-
whats next, Fail: The Movie, "L", or how about something old school - "You Go Girl."
-
Tina Fey is way overrated. Let's hope this fails.
-
I'm so ashamed.
-
thats a do not watch then?
-
The pacing was poor and some of the gags were a bit forced, but the audience I saw it with last night laughed through the whole thing. It's amusing and forgettable, but hardly the trainwreck described here.
-
Well, just as long as they throw in a lot of political allegories about Hillary Clinton... That equals box office gold!
-
from what I've seen this looks great. I trust the Massa but I'm still going to see this one.
-
The last movie I was tempted to leave, but didn't, was Star Trek X. <p> Man, was that ever a mistake! A staeming pile of felgercarb. In two hours all the majesty of TNG was shot all to hell.
-
Her emergence as the "go to star" of SNL strongly lowers the show's already dismal potential. Lorne Michales would be smart to blow up the current incarnation of SNL & start from scratch. I wouldve said keep Sandberg & Armisson, but Sandberg has been officially damned to hell for the abomination that is "Hot Rod" and Fred can get better work (so long as he's not portraying Obama).
-
Fey had been hitting way more than missing it seems to me. I foolishly assumed she had written this one. Oh well. Someone has to take up the mantle of Molly Shannon. Might as well be Fey.
-
Is it good or not?
-
Massawyrm is really Jason Mewes? As for the review, not that surprising. I love Tina Fey and Poehler and think the two have the potential to make one funny-as-hell movie. This one just never really seemed to jump out as "the one". Mainly because these two should be edgier and pushing the limits of what people expect from a women's comedy. Instead they sink right into expectations as usual.
-
Poehler is hot though
-
If only more people did.<p>The best parody of the Richard Branson type is Bryan Brown in Along Came Polly.
-
April 23, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST
Unless Poehler is running around in circles yelling "RICK!!!"...
by Shermdawg
...count me out.
-
I liked their run on SNL, although I get it if you don't. I loved Upright Citizen's Brigade on Poehler's side, and Tina Fey's 30 Rock is one of the shows I look forward to every week. Still, I just don't think I can bring myself to watch this movie. I feel bad for Amy, as Tina Fey is already a proven commodity and can stand the hit, where as Amy may never get a leading role again.
-
but i'm still down for a Poehler and Tina Fey sandwich .
-
What you said is spot-on. Fey and Poehler's years together at Weekend Update were the years that Fey started getting sloppy and phoning it in. I know part of AICN Code is that you have to hate Jimmy Fallon for some reason, but he and Fey turned in a much more consistently funny Update. In fact, even after the surprise goodness of Mean Girls, I grew to dislike Fey over the course of her and Poehler's time so much that I was just assuming out of hand that 30 Rock would suck. I didn't want to be fooled again, so this time I assumed Baby Mama was actually going to be good...and it just turned out to be a very bland comedy.
-
I love that there is a Baby Mama ad on this page. Fantastic!
-
He broke character all-the-time, and would giggle at his own material to elicit cheap laughs. This may have worked on some girls, who saw it as "cute." I just thought it was sloppy.
-
I'll prolly rent and enjoy this.
-
Sorkin. Pffft.
-
I don't understand this. I have no problem with scatological humor or inappropriate humor involving body parts, but I ask that it least be coherent and lucid. But I confess I do not understand what an ass lemming is.
-
You just don't get vagina jokes.
-
Should've known once I found out turd burger Dax Shepherd was in this that there was no hope. The only movie he has been in where he has been watchable was Idiocracy, and thats only because that was the part he was born to play. It was perfect casting if I've ever seen it. Something tells me that its not that bad, but it probably falls under the Bringing Down the House, The Last Holiday, Pink Pather, Night at the Museum category, just won't be as big of a hit. I mean FX already has the rights to show it on the tele, if that lets you know what kind of movie it is. Levy/Shankman looks like you got another conpetitor in Michael McCullers, as if Andy Fickman wasn't enough.
-
Come on, THAT was funny.
-
Don't talk like a 4channer when you're writing a review, you fucking redneck.
-
and I'll watch it again damn you.
-
And thats it. The next time you look at her its like indifference. <BR><BR> No offense Tina.
-
Tina Fey is the most unjustly praised (getting tired of using 'overated')person in show business. And I don't need to read one more interview with her or see one more American Express commercial emphasizing how overworked she is and how little time she has. I've heard less moaning from oil rig workers. Fortunately, it looks like this movie will die a quick death. Poehler ain't bad, though.
-
I thought it looked funny. But at best, I'd probably rent it.
-
so much hate. i was at a screener last night and i didnt think it was THAT horrible. it was pretty predictable, there were a few funny moments, i laughed out loud maybe 3 or 4 times though. i think steve martin and romany malco were definitely the best parts of the movie, but i didnt think it was nearly as bad as wyrm apparently did. i wouldnt pay to see it, but if i was on a date and there wasnt anything else(which, well, there isnt really right now), i might see it again. though i will say, the fuckin valley girls next to me, i couldnt decide whether i wanted to fuck them or stab them in the eye, not like either of those wouldve happened anyway, but it kept me busy..
-
Your right. Im so so sick of her whole act. Oh, its so rough being so funny and smart, and a parent, and a tv writer, o my, how does she do it? People eat her whole brand up, and its funny to see through it.
-
I have had the unfortunate luck of having to read several McCullers scripts over the years and they are all horrible. For the record, the only reason I read them is because they get sent out to other writers to rewrite because they are steaming piles of shit on paper. He is not in touch with reality, humantiy, life or what is funny. All of his work is set piece after set piece with throwaway dialogue spit on the page between set pieces. The fact that this movie got greenlit with a script by him and him directing just shows how the taste in Hollywood is abysmal right now. McCullers may have worked on Austin Powers, but he's not the reason some of those movies worked. He's another SNL hack who can write about 10 good pages in a 100 page script.
-
there were 2 things i remember laughing at one was a dick joke one was a bobble-headed owl
-
I cannot believe no one leapt at that given the subject matter/title of the movie.
-
I thought I was the only person who just thought she was mediocre at best and gets too much praise for what the rest of the world does: work and manage a family.
-
on a collaborative effort so we can see the hippest movie of all time!
-
she is not funny, upright citizens brigade leaves no impression on my mind. I remember there was 4 of them and they'd sit in a control/security camera room or something at the beginning or end of every show but I cannot remember one thing funny about the show. I remember the state had the cop that would say don't over and over and the jew the italian and the red head gay, the kids in the hall had the cops, but I can't remember a single funny thing from the upright citizens brigade.
-
Thanks for that. Also, Tina Fey is super hot.
-
It would probably have helped if you weren't huffing paint before the begining each Upright Citizens Brigade episode. It was a damn funny show. Your loss.
-
April 23, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST
You're stupid for even hoping this might be decent.
by cinemixtape.com
Tina Fey is overrated and Amy Poehler is a black hole of comedy. She has never been funny and never will. She sucks the life out of everything she's ever been in. The trailer is horrendous, so, chances are, so is the movie. That said, this is getting GREAT reviews at RT. Baffling.
-
Vying for my movie going money this weekend is Harold & Kumar, or Tina & Amy...hmmmmmm..easy, I'll go with the stoners everytime.
-
makes my dick go brontosaurus, but I think I'll pass on this
-
She adapted the screenplay from some schmuck who wrote the film - ( which is a terrible rip off from Heathers) Except Heathers was actually funny and cynical. TIna fey is not a genius people......Or hot liek some of you like to think
-
...or do the rest of you fantasize about taking a samurai sword and slicing off Hillary Clinton's breasts, and then skewering her lopped off breasts like a shish kebab before stabbing her in her cold, dead heart with it. And then repeating the whole thing over with Tina Fey. Its not just me, is it?
-
I fantasize doing it to her head!
-
This was a really funny, well written movie, full of great performances by some great actors (and some comedy greats like Steve Martin) with none of them ever stealing focus or overstaying their welcome. It's a great ensemble comedy and I highly recommend it.
-
...in other words, he liked it.... right? LMAO!
-
Seriously www.myspace.com/spidermanfreak
-
I'm with you, Massa. I watched Armageddon till the end. I watched Dr.Dolittle till the end. I even watched Gili. I'll watch most movies till the end no matter how bad they are, but that movie broke me.
-
She just plays herself, but she's good at that.
-
Was he not hot?
-
Um...what? Yes, she did. First of all, an adapted screenplay is still writing, no matter what you may or may not think. I'm sure every screenwriter who's ever won the Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay would love to hear you talk about how they "didn't really write" the work they're credited with. Second of all, "Mean Girls" was adapted from a NONFICTION book called "Queen Bees and Wannabes", which was essentially a sociological analysis of the behavior of teenage girls. Tina's screenplay was completely her own creation; the plot, characters, etc. all came from her. She basically used the theme of the book as a starting-off point to create an original comedy that really bears little relation to the work it was adapted from. I would really love to see some of the people here who think that Fey is "overrated" and not a good writer write a comedy sketch as funny as "Colonel Angus" or the census taker sketch with Christopher Walken from SNL (both written by Fey). Or write an episode of a TV show as funny as the average episode of "30 Rock", one of the smartest and most densely written sitcoms since "Arrested Development". Of course, to do that you'd have to pull your heads out of your rear ends for more than two seconds, and I realize that would be difficult for some of you.
-
How ju gonna get a scar like that eating pushy, meng?
-
I saw this at a preview screening and the audience loved it. The plot isn't that original but the laughs just kept coming. I knew going in that it would be predictable, but I walked out with a big smile on my face. The only really bad part of the movie was Steve Martin which is a shame because he's so funny.. just not in this. I say check it out for some good laughs.
-
Here I was thinking I'm the only person who hated The Time Machine enough to walk out on it. Everyone else I've told that two says it wasn't that bad. But holy fuck...Also Poehler and Fey are kind of hot in their own ways.
-
No reason to white knight Fey in here, buddy. She's not gonna read it and decide to fuck you. Anyway, they should put '..a senseless, lowest common denominator skid mark. -AICN' on the one-sheet.
-
I think the best tv censoring is in the untouchables when the dude is strapped in the chair and he says "why don't you give me a break" and the give me a break part sounds so different than the why don't you part it's hilarious. Tina Fey couldn't write anything that funny.
-
Goes a long way. Whenever she has a sizable role in something she's fucking dreadful. Good Poehler: her brief stint on Arrested Development. Bad Poehler: Blades of Glory. She can be really annoying if she's doing her schtick for too long. And Fey is just lukewarm, really. Rarely is she offensively bad, but she's never been phenomenal. She's just so-so. This movie looks fucking horrible, by the way.
-
to take the reviews on this site with a grain of salt, as well as news on any movies more than a year out.
-
..."crank it up a notch by adding in Greg Kinnear". Damn. I mean...DAMN.
-
Face facts, folks. Good comedies are a rare breed indeed. The only comedy films I see on the horizon that I think have any potantial of being truly funny are TROPIC THUNDER and THE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS.
-
What are you smoking and where can I not get some.
-
You too. What are you lesbians?
-
Just thought I should point out to everyone that this review is coming from a guy who called No Country for Old Men a "disappointment" and a "fucking tragedy," so, you know, take everything he says with a huge shaker full of salt.
-
I walked recently at 2 Nic Cage pieces of shit! the one where he can se ahead of time a bit and that other piece of filth with bike and the flaming Skull! Hell I even left my wife to watch Moulin Rouge on her own when Jim Broadbent started singing 'Like a Virgin' so what hope would I have of lasting the distance in one of these Baby Lohan flicks! Fuck that!
-
All the ladies out there will want to see it. They will relate to the trailers on some level and more than likely the majority will like it. It's the dumbing down of my country when it comes to art. And what the fuck is Steve Martin doing? Latimes just did a piece on how Pacino and Robert Dinero have made clowns of themselves. What about Martin? He's right up there. Check it out latimes.com
-
Gotta love that there's a scathing review calling this one of the worst movies ever with a banner ad to the right prompting us to watch the trailer. Brilliant work.
-
somebody last night was actually offended by the part where tina fey's mom(i cant even remember her characters name) tells her not to adopt a black baby. really? come on...
-
I mean look at the movie. And then look at the picture that represents this guy. Was there ever a chance that he might like this?
-
What do I smoke? You haven't found the latest SNL Hillary stuff HILARIOUS??????? <p> ??????????????????????????????????? <p> ?????????????????????????????????? <p> You don't find Amy Poehler insanely hot, not annoying and funny? My dear sir, what are YOU smoking? Is it still that can of Raid? And why do you favor rape?
-
Haha, no I hadn't heard that version. Pineapple is the most original dubbed replacement for pussy I've ever heard.
-
we get a review that sounds like the guy was really, really hurt that the movie sucked....is he kidding ?
-
That movie's gonna be #1 this weekend, no doubt. It's pretty damn funny, and the fate of NPH in the movie had people SCREAMING out in the theater.
-
???? Really, what has that man done in like the past 10 years that said, "Hey I still care about making funny movies, not just getting money to feed my coke habbit?" The last good thing he was involved in was His Simpsons episode and Bowfinger was alright. The only chance of Baby Mama being a Bringing Down the House Style depends on how little girls care about Iron Man.
-
Whats the deal with Tiny Fey/Amy Pohler/and throw Pam from the Office in there, fucking drooling. Like anytime anyone mentions one of those three (assuming they know who Fey and Pohler are) some jackass has to say, "Oh man she is so hot!" Really? I don't fucking see it. Like yeah there are MEH? I understand the, "She's a girl you could get." But do we really need to be reminded all the time from some idiot about how HOT they are? When in reality they are only OK. My roomate is one of those typical idiots from Massachusetts (Red Sox/Pats boner)drives a mustang, and every time there is a new office I swear the only reason he watches it, is so he can remind me how hot Pam is. Followed by the same routine on 30 Rock. You know the sort of guy I am talking about, and if you don't agree with me then your that asshole. I mean do we seriously want are women to be looking up to these women as role models for guides to being attractive? Pam's a prude bitch and Fey is a neurotic self loathing See U next tuesday and Pohler is a five year old boy. Yea they may come off as smart and whatever but do we want womean looking up to them as what men want? You think any of them are good in the sack? <P> Also the only funny thing that came out of Upright was the Ass Pennies sketch, everything else sucked just like Matt Walsh's career.
-
"The music is abysmal, a painful cacophony of tones that daintily tell you what a delightful comedy you’re supposed to be watching. It was one slide whistle and a bonk sound away from being ripped right out of Hannah-Barbara. " Awesome.
-
but Mean Girls was a boring rip-off. This movie looks even worse. Fey needs to stick to the sit-com.
-
come across was in a comic book adaptation of The Lost World (Conan Doyle, not Crichton). One character, instead of saying "You bastard!", yells out "You baseboard!".
-
Is in the TV version of "Repo Man", where "motherfucker" is replaced with "melon farmer".
-
goddamnit
-
You are not alone. As a liberal Hillary Clinton turns my stomach. Too bad more people cannot see past her gender to take a better look at her AGENDA and the fact that she represents the continued rollout of a de facto Bush/Clinton monarchy that needs to be stopped in the name of all that's great about America. It would be a damn shame if the first time we elect a woman as president, it's just because they ARE a woman and not because of their own merits; that proves exactly nothing except that yep, we didn't learn shit from eight years of suffering through this fucking retarded puppet we've got now. But if nothing else, Hillary Clinton is the one candidate who can truly unify liberals and conservatives... in disgust. McCain must be delighted to see the one candidate he can beat still hanging in there as if she was almost trying to GUARANTEE another Republican presidency.
-
Showgirls on VH1? I mainly remember the CGI'ed bra put onto Saved By the Bell at the End where she beats up that guy. I bet there is a lot better replacements in there though.
-
when I say I prefer Tina and Amy in small doses. Great talents but I watch too much of them and my head starts to hurt.
-
Fey's Saturday Night Live was absolutely painful to watch and I still don't know why any of you idiots think 30 rock is funny. The fans of that show are like a real life parody of "when the whistle blows." Don't get me wrong, I love eye candy and Tina Fey is certainly that. I also have no doubt that she's got some talent buried in there somewhere, but I'm not going to give her automatic credit just because she makes my penis move. I got all the bullshit masturbation fodder I need right here on the internet. I'm also glad to hear that she's a cool boss to work for, but as an audience member I'm fucking bored.
-
are funny together in the scripted confines of SNL...pohler always plays the same "look at me, i'm clever and little and blond and cute even tho i'm in my 40's" movies like this are reason that people don't go to the theater anymore. just another dumb movie made because the stars or the writers or the director or whoever, thought it was funny and therefore everyone else would think that it was funny too. whatever happened to taste?
-
I too have read many McCullers scripts and concur with you 100%.
-
Because we are told that she is funny. Much like George Clooney is a movie star because we are told he is one, even though most movies that he is the main star of are avoided like an Arby's Roast Beef sandwich that has sat out on your patio for a month.
-
for Tina Fey, her generation's Nancy Kulp. Sam Fulmer, you're right on; Fey is supposed to be funny because "Entertainment Tonight" insists on it. Never mind that she's been crawling up Hillary Clinton's ass (has to be the first female president, never mind that she's a corrupt douchebag).
-
It doesn't try too hard, it's not ambitious it just wants to be pleasant and evoke a few laughs and then be on it's way. Wyrm's OVERreaction was a bit unwarrented to say the least. I like most of his reviews as entertainment, but if he engaged in a little less hyperbole once in awhile his opinion might be taken a little more seriously.
Top Talkbacks
- Nordling Reviews STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS! Spoilers Abound! You Are Warned! -- 402 total posts 170 posts
- The big screen adaptation of ASSASSIN'S CREED has been given a release date!!! -- 82 total posts 68 posts
- AVENGERS 2 might be filming in SOUTH AFRICA, does this mean that Black Panther is going to be a part of the action!?! -- 287 total posts 41 posts
- Capone reviews STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS and considers the art of messing with canon and why it doesn't bother him!!! -- 427 total posts 35 posts
- Harry gets seriously geeky on the very geeky cool STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS! Can't wait for the next one! & See this again! -- 1382 total posts 35 posts
- Did you guys like RED 2? Oh it's not out yet, well who cares?? Get ready for RED 3 anyways!!! -- 77 total posts 20 posts
- Christopher Nolan maybe, could be, might be, directing the next BOND film!?!?! -- 494 total posts 19 posts
- UPDATE The Friday Docback Calls 'The Name of the Doctor'!! DOCTOR WHO's S7 Finale Arrives This Weekend!! Now With Glen's Ultra-Brief, SPOILER FREE MiniReview!! -- 81 total posts 16 posts
- ‘I Am Not Fucking Like You!!’ The 3-Minute Trailer For The Rampling-Enhanced Final Season Of DEXTER!! -- 57 total posts 15 posts
- EUROPA REPORT Trailer Imagines A Scientifically Realistic Trip To One Of Jupiter's Moons! -- 69 total posts 12 posts