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Capone Says 88 MINUTES Is Such A Mess You'll Want To Do Yourself Bodily Harm After Seeing It!!

Published at:  Apr 19, 2008 6:09:47 PM CDT


Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.


Where do I even begin with this fucking thing?

To call the long-delayed Al Pacino time-crunch thriller 88 MINUTES ludicrous is to insult films or books or plays or haikus that attempt to be outrageous in fun and creative ways. No, 88 Minutes isn't fun-and-playful ludicrous. Its overdrive pace (which still manages to feel achingly slow) and plot is so ridiculous that it feels as if elements from every thriller ever made were thrown into a Kitchen Aid at the Turbo Mix setting. And here's the more obnoxious thing: movies that count down to something and constantly remind you how much time is left are without fail a terrible idea. It's like having a clock right next to the screen reminding you how much movie is left. Who the hell wants that?


Pacino (looking dead tired) plays Dr. Jack Gramm, a forensic psychiatrist for the FBI, whose testimony in the trial of an alleged serial killer (Neal McDonough) got the guy the death sentence. McDonough swears the entire time the good doctor has lied under oath to secure the conviction, and he's quite convincing. Jump ahead a few years to the date of the execution. A murder with the same m.o. as the original set of killings occurs and suddenly doubt is cast on the conviction. Let's stop here for a second and ask, Why does no one in this movie question the timing of this new killing? It's the damn day of the execution, people! Not only is there a fresh body, but the victim is also a student of Dr. Gramm's. The coincidences are mounting, and still no one really calls these remarkable coincidences into question.


Around the time the body is discovered, Gramm receives a threatening phone call saying that he only has 88 minutes to live, and every so often through the course of the film, the same modulated voice gives Gramm an update on his time left on earth. Rather than use the many resources available to him as an employee of the FBI (or simply lock himself in a safe room until the 88 minutes has expired), Gramm decides to investigate the threats and the murder himself.

Since the voice on the phone is disguised, we can assume the identity of the caller is one of the characters in the film, and there are quite a few from which to choose, most of them good-looking women. There's Amy Brenneman as Gramm's lesbian office assistant, Alicia Witt as his teaching assistant, Leelee Sobieski as his attentive student, Deborah Kara Unger as the dean of the school where Gramm teaches and William Forsythe as one of Gramm's best friends at the agency (for the record, Forsythe is neither good looking nor a woman, but I always love seeing him on screen). I picked out the killer about five minutes after the character is introduced in the film. It ain't that tough.


88 Minutes is a mess. Each step Pacino takes is more idiotic than the last, and screenwriter Gary Scott Thompson (one of the creators of "Las Vegas") and director Jon Avnet (FRIED GREEN TOMATOES; RED CORNER) should know better than to unnecessarily complicate a plot that has this much potential. What's worse, Pacino's next film also features Avnet behind the camera (for the fall release RIGHTEOUS KILL with Robert De Niro), but let's focus on one disaster at a time.

This film might frustrate to such a degree, you'll want to punch somebody or do yourself bodily harm. Sure, you could credit Gramm's behavior to arrogance. It certainly looks possible that he may have fabricated evidence or coached witnesses in the past, but it was all in the name of putting away dangerous criminals. The film skims these weighty topics without diving in and examining any of them.

And that's too bad because a little explanation about motivation on several characters' parts would have gone a long way toward making a much better film out of this material. You know what? I have officially spent way more time talking about this movie than I'd intended, and now I'm done with it. This movie is slick junk, and not the good kind.


Capone










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    Readers Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:14:33 PM CDT

    I miss the days when...

    by albermarle

    A Pacino release was worth getting excited about and he actually acted, instead of being a ham.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:17:46 PM CDT

    I want you, I need you, I love you..

    by ironic_name

    for all. my. second...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:18:32 PM CDT

    I like to spend 88 minutes with Leelee's teetees!!

    by sequitur

    Thats right, I said it!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:19:49 PM CDT

    that sucks.

    by lloyd bonafide the korean war veteran

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:22:19 PM CDT

    didnt everyone...

    by soup74

    download this movie a year ago?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:24:26 PM CDT

    THE KILLER IS ALICIA WITT!!

    by bringingsexyback

    She fucks him to death! If you're gonna go, that's the a bad way to go...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:25:02 PM CDT

    My junk is always slick

    by largojr

    Cause the babes be slobbin my knobbin BIYATCH!! Oh.. and third?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:25:05 PM CDT

    THAT'S *NOT* A BAD WAY ...

    by bringingsexyback

    You get the point.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:29:03 PM CDT

    the killer is leelee! shes the daughter of bison

    by ironic_name

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:29:55 PM CDT

    Saw this last year

    by i own you

    My wife, watching the commercials on TV said "Wasn't that the waste of time movie we saw a year ago?" Me: "Yep." Her: "And they're just getting it out now?" Me: "Yep." Her: "Should have left it on the shelves or sent it to DVD." Seriously, a bad film.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:33:50 PM CDT

    Razzie-worthy, and just 10% on Rotten Tomatoes

    by pennsy

    at last count.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:37:21 PM CDT

    I read this review in under 88 seconds.

    by mrfan

    Thanks for saving me some dough.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:49:48 PM CDT

    How about a review for 69.

    by mrfan

    Now, that is a number I like.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:53:01 PM CDT

    I saw it today and it stunk.

    by the visco kid

    At least there were some hot women to look at, Alicia Witt, Leelee Sobieski, Deborah Kara Unger, and even Amy Brenneman looked good. The worst part of the movie, aside from the plot, had to be Pacino's hair.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 6:55:04 PM CDT

    Pacino is WAY too old for this part...

    by bigtuna

    He plays the ultimate ladies man. Every woman/college girl wants to fuck him. Even the lesbian does too! He's an icky old man with a bad toupee.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 7:02:05 PM CDT

    Yeah it was pretty horrible

    by cherryvalance

    I went because some spy on here said that Al Pacino was hip-hop dancing in it. He danced for like a split second and it looked relatively normal. So I'm guessing they cut that out. :(

    Capone is 100% right. And the worst part is, you're gonna love this, there were these old ladies leaving the theater saying how great it was and that you just can't trust those one star reviews. I swear these are the same old ladies that I heard laughing about how stupid 'No Country for Old Men' was and how it was so bad that "they'll probably give it the Academy Award". No lie.

    The other strange thing is I sat there trying to figure out how to fix it as I was watching it. I was thinking if they switched Alicia and Leelee, and if (spoilers) all the students were in on it because they were anti-death penalty or something. But then I realized that was that Kevin Spacey/Laura Linney movie. And then I thought they were trying to kill Al Pacino by making him run up all those stairs and look at that ridiculous evil catwoman type outfit Leelee had on. Leather Tuscadero would be ashamed. lmfao

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 7:20:51 PM CDT

    this movie is guilty

    by soup74

    *spoilers* if you care.. this movie is guilty of having a list suspects, all minor characters, yet one of them is being played by a bigger marquee name. you can figure out right away who the killer is. Bloodworks, that clint eastwood movie, was super guilty of that.. you knew the killer, the motive, and just about everything else in the first 15 minutes. then they spend the reast of the movie dropping 'hints' that just get more and more laughably obvious.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 7:22:30 PM CDT

    leelee in leatherleather?

    by ironic_name

  • Apr 19, 2008 7:42:35 PM CDT

    soup74

    by herb west

    Yeah, it was like a year ago. I saw it a long time ago after it was leaked. I didn't know they were just releasing it now, that's funny.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 8:11:15 PM CDT

    I can't wait till RIGHTEOUS KILL is released.

    by jerseyjedi08

    The backlash is going to be deliciously vindicating.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 8:26:56 PM CDT

    Didn't this movie sit on the shelf for a year or two?

    by brandongk


    I remember seeing previews to this back in '06.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 8:35:42 PM CDT

    It's the fucking OC kid isn't it.

    by jackie boy

    I just watched the trailer for the first time... it has to be him.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 8:45:10 PM CDT

    It can't be that bad

    by thebearovingian

    I mean, really, do myself bodily harm? NEVAH!

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 9:15:13 PM CDT

    This is Fun Trash

    by topaz4206

    What "Awake" was to medical thrillers, "88 Minutes" is to suspense thrillers. Not quite "Showgirls" bad, but still fun for groups of disparate moviegoers to poke fun at and/or enjoy in the comfort of their homes. Absolutely DO NOT pay to see this in theaters -- this is Netflix material. 3 out of 5 stars.If you agree (or violently disagree in a friendly way) let's be Netflix friends! http://www.netflix.com/BeMyFriend/PPI2Jko9KNQcmMT5f0h9

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 9:50:58 PM CDT

    Damnit Pacino

    by aversiontherapy2

    Why can't you pick a decent film for fauksake, you're one of the world's most respected film actors and you're pissing it away.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 9:59:44 PM CDT

    Haven't seen it but taking a guess about the killer:

    by kabong

    William Forsythe

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 10:01:10 PM CDT

    THANK GOD

    by burgertime

    That's 88 minutes I WILL get back. Because I'll never actually watch the movie in the first place. See, I'll have 88 minutes of my life...ah fuck it...you get the idea.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 10:02:05 PM CDT

    Saw it last year, it was a mess

    by darthbakpao

  • Apr 19, 2008 10:31:38 PM CDT

    It's been on torrent for a month

    by orionsangels

  • Apr 19, 2008 10:35:01 PM CDT

    i saw the trailer...

    by stevie grant

    and the fact that they couldn't muster an appealing trailer by string just a few minutes of the 60+ feature film together says all that needs to be said about this cinematic abortion.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 10:39:31 PM CDT

    "does AL PACINO YELL???"

    by themcflyfarm

    "DID I FIYAA BULLETS AT MYSELF?!!!"

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 19, 2008 10:43:55 PM CDT

    Perfect Quote for the Movie Ads

    by childofmen

    "You'll want to do yourself bodily harm!" - aintitcool.com

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 1:02:18 AM CDT

    hoo yah!

    by mr_x

    no good then?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 1:20:24 AM CDT

    AL PACINO

    by series7

    WAS SO TIGHT IN SCARFACE! Like SOOO bad ass, i mean haven't you seen my sweet jacket?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 1:36:57 AM CDT

    Parts of Pacino's face look made of plastic

    by benbraddock

    He's had 'work done'... badly. Really noticed it in the Righteous Kill trailer. I didn't think he was the type to go down that road, but I guess he feels the need.. Pacino got old, he doesn't even scream anymore. Sigh. This movie was playing in my local DVD store the other day, I caught the denouement which looked atrocious so I hired something else instead. Why on earth is it being released at the cinema Stateside?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 2:15:12 AM CDT

    Fans of 24 seem to want/enjoy the ticking clock

    by bass bastardson

    Still not expecting this to be good. I'm just saying...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 2:52:23 AM CDT

    Is it me?

    by moviemaniac-7

    I've seen this movie here in the Netherlands now for ages on the shelves of dvd stores...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 3:41:27 AM CDT

    RIGHTEOUS KILL!

    by pr1c3y

    Please oh holy one don't let that be a second catastrophe for Avnet...

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 4:31:31 AM CDT

    ^ back to the future?

    by mr_x

  • Apr 20, 2008 5:23:21 AM CDT

    Hollywood needs a mandatory retirement age

    by rocco curioso

    (Preemptive strike)Added to which, Pacino has played way too many cops already. "Heat" should've been his last hurrah in that genre. Let's examine his contemporaries:Hackman: Had sense enough to retire; should have made "The Royal Tenenbaums" his finale.Nicholson and Freeman: Both crusting over, and making a forgettable Rob Reiner weakass comedy only pointed that up further.Dustin Hoffman: Bag of tricks empty; go AWAY, at least until the unintentionally hilarious "Rainman" sequel pounds the final nail in his and Tommy Boy's respective coffins.Clint: stick to directing. I wanted to reach through the screen and sucker-punch his withered mug for that cliched role in "Million Dollar Baby".Redford: Time to recede to Sundance Film Festival Elder Statesman.They ALL need to take a hint from Daniel Day-Lewis, who knew enough to partially retreat from acting a decade ago, and only utilize his skills when the high ground beckoned.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 7:23:20 AM CDT

    Hollywood needs an enema!!

    by bankyedwards2309

    simple as. Nuff sed.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 8:34:54 AM CDT

    88 MINUTES: WAS JACK BAUER BUSY?

    by robots in das guys

    Oh, and the killer is the lesbian. They always are, Mr. Pachino.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 8:38:38 AM CDT

    rocco, you forgot bruce willis...

    by jig98

    love the guy, but all he's played ever since the 1995 die hard threequel is different versions of john mcclane again and again. i could tell just by hearing him in over the hedge that he sounds tired and wants to grow his hair back.{sorry, snuck that one in there.} and i don't think nicholson or eastwood are done yet. they still have something good coming.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 8:38:53 AM CDT

    Jon Avnet has consumed Uwe Boll's flesh

    by gozu

    And thus gained his power, via the Wendigo.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 8:56:27 AM CDT

    Don't forget DeNiro...

    by robots in das guys

    Meet The Fuckers 3, anyone?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 9:32:06 AM CDT

    jig98, Robots In Das Guys

    by rocco curioso

    Thanks for taking note, guys. Yeah, Bruce doesn't have much room to develop and maybe DeNiro will back off soon enough. I was thinking of actors at/around 70 years of age. Assuming they're still acting at that age and have been duly recognized, they have little else left to prove.Still, I don't see Shia LeBeouf pocketing a lifetime achievement award in the year 2050.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 9:35:14 AM CDT

    Buahahahahahahaah:@ that fucking wig on Pacino!

    by stalkeye

    This shit came out awhile ago on the BT scene.Shit it's no woner why I never really cared for the writers' strike.Very weak story and it reminds me of those cheesy Cinemax movies back in the day.Still think that blonde guy who played the death row inmate would have been a great Duke, but the way the GIJoe movie is going, he's been spared from that mess.Just not 88 Minutes.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 10:48:06 AM CDT

    "Did I shoot bullets at myself?!!"

    by bobo_vision

    "Yes. Yes, you did." "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Never mind then."

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 12:19:33 PM CDT

    They should just bury Righteous Kill before it's released.

    by knuckleduster

    Trying to cash in on the Pacino/De Niro team-up. It's a slap in HEAT's face. Fuck 'em, I say.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 12:45:30 PM CDT

    WTF HAPPENED AL?

    by broseph

    We need to get back on track your gettin you those great roles your known for.we need quality flicks like
    heat
    scent of a woman
    devil's advicate
    carlito's way as opposed to the recruit,2 for the money and this piece of shit

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 12:46:19 PM CDT

    Day-Lewis is 51.

    by garbage

    His kids all have terrible acne and galloping heartbeats. From the milkshakes.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 12:46:43 PM CDT

    WILL be 51.

    by garbage

    In a couple of weeks. Until then, he's 39.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 12:58:05 PM CDT

    Phoning it in again, Al?

    by biggusdickus

    I remember when you could act, fella.Sad.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 2:32:57 PM CDT

    It's really bad

    by teodora

    It was actually on TV in my country a few months ago and although I love Al Pacino I stopped watching after the first 15 minutes. It must be his worst film.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 2:33:06 PM CDT

    i26.tinypic.com/ju8f9e.jpg

    by ironic_name

  • Apr 20, 2008 3:52:28 PM CDT

    I already saw this on a torrent last week...

    by ray gamma

    ...and I actually thought it was pretty good. There are certainly a lot of ridiculous plot turns and frustrating unrealistic choices made by Pacino's character, but as a fun thriller, it was quite gripping. It makes you really empathise with his paranoia as he starts to suspect absolutely everybody around him. Watch it and see for yourself. And no, it's not easy to se the ending coming from miles, it's still kind of a surprise.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 3:53:38 PM CDT

    When they show this on TBS next year

    by napoleon park

    Will it be called 150 minutes?Because with Brenneman, Sobieski and Witt in it, I'll watch it. For free. On basic cable. Hell, I'll watch "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" just to see Alicia Witt as the least convincing cop in TV history.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 3:54:01 PM CDT

    ps Teodora above...

    by ray gamma

    if you only watched the first 15 minutes, you're hardly qualified to describe it as 'his worst film', are you? Seeing as you haven't watched it.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 3:58:53 PM CDT

    The movie has been online for months

    by cruel_kingdom

    Go find it instead of wasting your hard-earned money. It sucks and is not worthy of your money.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 6:30:41 PM CDT

    Hell let's just do Godfather IV

    by anakin whoopass

    What harm could it do?

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 7:02:32 PM CDT

    Too bad Lelee Sobieski can't get better roles.

    by rbatty024

    She's a talented actress that doesn't typecast herself, but for some reason she hasn't been in anything good for a very long time. Perhaps it's because she doesn't typecast herself. Producers seem at a lost when it comes to talented actresses.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 9:47:34 PM CDT

    Rocco, your list is okay...

    by bizarrojerry

    Except I'd remove Freeman and Hackman. Freeman still has some good stuff in him, I'm sure. The Bucket List and Evan Almighty may say otherwise, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. And I'd be content seeing Hackman acting when he's 97 years old. He's the kinda guy who's good in any movie he's in, no matter how shitty the rest of it is. I even think he's a bit underrated. But the 60s/70s era great actors are starting to or all ready have lost their relevance. Nicholson plays one character now, Hoffman had a small bit of a revival playing a strange old guy, but that's cuz he is one. Deniro, I think, has become bored with acting and tossed in a couple of comedies, some bad, just to have some fun. Pacino, unfortunately, doesn't seem to be able to move on and stop trying to recapture his "coolness" of past years. Come on, Al, accept your age, take a smaller character role. Maybe something akin to the understated character that Michael Corleone was in One and Two. Oh, and I think the only guy that stays good and may even have improved with age is Duvall.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 20, 2008 11:07:45 PM CDT

    BizarroJerry

    by albermarle

    Totally agree with you about Robert Duvall, he is a god amongst men. Never seen him be anything less than great in a film and am confident that I never will.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 21, 2008 12:10:06 AM CDT

    BizarroJerry

    by cruel_kingdom

    Have you seen KICKING & SCREAMING? Duvall sucked in that, as did everyone else who had anything to do with that inspid piece of shit. Love Duvall, but damn, that movie is SHIT.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 21, 2008 3:11:24 AM CDT

    Duvall of late is a split decision for me

    by rocco curioso

    On one hand, he tends to fall back on that wizened codger persona(think "Phenomenon", "Deep Impact", "Gone In 60 Seconds", "Open Range"). Which is... OK, but that's all it is.On the other hand, give him a role he can sink his teeth into like those in "The Apostle" and "A Civil Action", and he's masterful.He's certainly left his mark, but I think his best work is behind him.

    Reply to Talkback

  • Apr 21, 2008 5:10:16 AM CDT

    5% on Rotten Tomatoes

    by kragmose

    That makes it just a little better than Meet the Spartans.

    Reply to Talkback

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