Cool News
Tom Cruise Hires MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II Writer Ronald D. Moore For Big-Screen UA Sci-Fi Trilogy!!
I am – Hercules!!
Nobody knows what this big-screen trilogy is about.
In addition to having supplied the story for “M:I2,” Moore has drafted a screenplay for another big-screen version of "The Thing" and masterminds SciFi’s “Battlestar Galactica,” the best show on TV.
Read all of Variety’s story on the matter here.
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GET READY!
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This is great news by the way. Evrryone knows it was that fag Bragas' fault MI1 and 2 sucked.
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The guy is a class act, let's just hope that he doesn't dilute his projects of farm them out. Not to mention any names.....
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Or not.
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On this being some sort of L. Ron Hubbard blathering horseshit?
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A sci-fi trilogy being funded by Tom Cruise...
Why do I smell Scientology all over this? -
I'd be willing to bet money on that.
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Chaplin, Pickford, and all the others that founded United Artists would be livid to see what this egomaniacal cult member's done with their company (turned it into a vanity license plate).
And c'mon Ron...you're better than this. Take your original material to a studio that has talented people that aren't crazed psychotics at the helm.
To paraphrase "Mystery Science Theater 3000", it's time we as a nation say, 'NO!', to Tom Cruise and his films. -
I smell three "Battlefield Earth"s in the offing.
Either that or it'll be two hours of Tom Cruise spouting random Scientology gibberish and then systematically shooting his way through various psychiatrists offices as the music swells and the nmakes out with a beard actress at the end. -
Moore did MI2?! I had no idea! I think his take in BSG is genius, but I have to say, I thought MI2 was garbage... I saw it in the theatre and thought is was horrible. Since then I have caught parts of it on TV and I just can't bring myself to sit through it. I guess you can't hit a home run every time.
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we shall see.
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this little sci-fi trilogy will hit DVD in record time. Hell, it still will. The days of wine and roses box office for Mr. I'm Not Gay Or A Crazed Cult Member are long behind him.
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whats in YOUR wallet?
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That's news to me!
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...counts as 'creating the story'.
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Apr 18, 2008 12:13:46 AM CDT
When will Morgan Spurlock or Michael Moore make a Scientology do
by filmcritic3000
That's a vine that needs to be hacked into pieces and rightfully so.
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I have my problems with Tom Cruise, but that doesn't mean I'll discard everything from UA. With RDM to script the movies I ask myself why Cruise visited the set from Trek XI? Perhaps to look for a director?
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Damn, you can milk 3 movies out of this body theatan shit for sure.
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Apr 18, 2008 12:19:40 AM CDT
Hmmm...science fiction...so it's about Cruise's personal life?
by filmcritic3000
xenu.net
I'm not lining the pockets of Crazy Man. United Artists is dead and buried.
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Hubbard's books are not very interesting either.
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How's that "marriage" going to, what's her name, Beardy McFakenstein?
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Apr 18, 2008 12:25:21 AM CDT
And that's *exactly* why they're hush-hush about the details...
by filmcritic3000
This is going to be three films of nothing but L. Ron Hubbard adoration. It'll probably have titles like "Science Fiction Movie: Explosions Are Cool", followed by "Science Fiction Movie Two: E-Meter Excellence" and "Science Fiction Movie Three: Clear". But to see the last two films in the trilogy, the admission price is $37,000.
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It could happen.
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We start with Jason Lee and work our way up to Psychosis Man.
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Ian McDiarmid has ruled himself out because he doesn't want to be typecast as the evil emperor.
So who should play the overlord of the Galactic Federation, or whatever it's called?
The favourites are:
Edward Norton
Sean Penn
John Travolta (the bookies favourite)
Leonard Nimoy (was seen talking to Cruise about the role on the Trek set)
Shia LeBouf (having been endorsed by the real Xenu, aka Spielberg)
Al Pacino
and bizzarely, Hillary Swank
Here's a brief synopsis:
Xenu: the Return
Billion of years after the the great genocide of species, Xenu has risen once again in a bid to take over the galaxy once more. His ships have been rebuilt and he is gathering all the evil of the galaxy to him. Behind the planetary shields of Plexion IV, the great enemy of the Mily Way is regrouping. However, a plucky young Earthling (played by Cruise) has found himself swept up in the great war, having found that he has amazing powers that may prove to be the key to defeating Xenu once and for all.
Xenu: Thetan Warriors
The adventure continues as our hero (Cruise) travels across the galaxy, recruiting noble warriors to fight in the rebellion against Xenu. The Overlord of the galaxy has a plan of his own however, one that may end all hope of bringing justice to the galaxy.
Xenu: The Final Fight
It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space
station with enough power
to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's
sinister agents, Princess
Leia races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save her
people and restore
freedom to the galaxy... -
hope that wasn't too off-topic
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Good odds for a gamble though.
By the way, my last post...so many lame jokes, so little time
I personally like the Swank for Xenu one and of course..
It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space
station with enough power
to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's
sinister agents, Princess
Leia races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save her
people and restore
freedom to the galaxy... -
Apr 18, 2008 1:05:09 AM CDT
Will there be plush Body Thetans? Cereal with crunchy E-Meters?
by filmcritic3000
"The subterfuge stays ambiguous...even in milk!"
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Because why the fuck not.
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It is a period of civil war.
Rebel spaceships, striking
from a hidden base, have won
their first victory against
the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel
spies managed to steal secret
plans to the Empire's
ultimate weapon, the DEATH
STAR, an armored space
station with enough power
to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's
sinister agents, Princess
Leia races home aboard her
starship, custodian of the
stolen plans that can save her
people and restore
freedom to the galaxy... -
Tom flees to sci-fi action. Good career move for the Cruiser. Less laughable eye-patched, dude-speaking Nazis and more Mission Impossible knockoffs please.
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You know, back before Battlefield Earth? I guess what I'm trying to say is, making a movie that's a love letter to Scientology is a good way to kill your career.
Also, come to think of it, Tom Cruise has never been very cool. -
Battlestar Galactica is pretty amazing.
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Funniest extra ever. Tha guy was so drunk.
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No one who hashed that screenplay deserves to write a SF trilogy. God, the standard of writing is pitiful these days. Akiva Goldsman's got an Oscar -- say no more.
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a multi millionaire movie star makes the dullest movies special effects and pyrotechnics cant deny tom's dud movies year after year
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Apr 18, 2008 1:30:24 AM CDT
Ronald D. Moore must have had an auditing session once...
by filmcritic3000
And somewhere, in the dank, dark recesses of Scientology headquarters, they have his deepest secrets on tape....
"I don't want to write this trilogy! The source material is hacky and juvenile! It reads like something a third grader would write! And it makes Tom's character come off like a macho prima donna with a God complex!"
"You'll write what we tell you to...or else we'll let everyone know about your ABBA obsession."
"You wouldn't!"
"Wouldn't we? We'll start there, then move on to how you can't sleep without that adorable Strawberry Shortcake night light...shall I keep going? Do you want me to tell the world about your Popples obsession?"
(*sobbing*) "Alright, alright! Stop it! I'll write the damn thing!
(A faint whisper is heard in the background.) "Make sure I kiss alot of girls."
"Tom, go play with your Speak and Say. The grown ups are talking." -
And so is this guy if he handled MI2.
Plus, look at his picture in the Variety article. It's CGI. The guy is even FROM the fucking future! -
Apr 18, 2008 1:42:04 AM CDT
If I was president, I would revoke Scientology's tax-exempt stat
by filmcritic3000
Germany has the right idea and treats Scientology for what it is: a cult. A batshit insane group of demented and evil idiots.
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Moore's only credited with coming up with the story for MI:2, so I don't think we can blame him for it sucking ass.
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...does a Michael Jackson and pisses all the fame, good will and money from the last twenty years right up the wall.Vanity projects only work if the rest of us don't think the underlying source material is bizarre and sinister, dude.See you in the funny papers...
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And how a plucky short man has to come out of the closet and defeat the evil alien overlord!
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...better not turn out to be Xenu. Just sayin'.
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A Scientological blockbuster from the diminutive 'supreme being' to brainwash any reluctant SPs! ;-) Shhhh...Battlefield Earth never happened.
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...we'll finally be seeing The Lost Regiment. Last I heard, Cruise and his partner owned the rights to this series.
If so, fan-fucking-tastic. -
Don't give me that "Carpenter's movie was a remake too!" bullshit, it's like saying Batman Begins is a remake of Burton's movie. They're based on the same source material, and yes there's an awareness of the earlier film, but they're totally different animals.
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...just because of how much I dug Collateral.
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Eddie Murphy to star in the incredible Shrinking man to be directed by Brett Ratner.
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I would be worried about Valkyrie. I hear that movie is falling apart. How many times are they going to keep the opening date pushed back?
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L. Ron D. Moore now?
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Does anyone see Valkyrie being a big box offish smash? Nope, me neither. What an idiot.
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Collateral is good because of Michael Mann, not because of Tom Cruise.
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From what the Variety article said, Moore is writing and CREATING the trilogy. This leads me to believe it's an original creation of Ron's and completely unrelated to any Hubbard project Cruise might have in the works.
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Hi I'm Tom Cruise. You may know me from motion picture classics such as 'All the right moves' and 'COCKtail'
I'm a little dissapointed at all the flaming of me that seems to be happening on this site so I'm going to unleash my Thetan spirits on you all.
#####RAAAAGGHH####
Ha I bet that hurts. Suffer you non-believers. Pay the price for insulting the Cruise. worship at my feet BITCHES. Suck my Scientologic COCK. You'll be sorry when my alien friends retun in their space travelling DC10's an show you the one true way. I OWN YOU. YOU CAN'T LIVE WIHTOUT THE CRUISE. YOU NEED ME. YOU SUCK CRUISE'S COCK. YOU HAVE NOTHING WITHOUT ME. I AM GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phew Katie my space alien love, I think I told them, and on the up side at least it's distracted them from talking about me being so short and cross eyed.
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Cause once just wasn't enough.
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I thought that was going to be a SciFi Channel miniseries?
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I hope he's not backtracking...it took 3+ seasons of BSG to remove the taste that is MI:2, or as I like to call it, brain cancer on celluloid.
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...than many other organized religions. I mean, immaculate conception, water to wine, parting red seas, and resurrection from the dead are all pretty wacky. Scientology is like any other dogmatic religion: a system of beliefs based on myths and fairy tales, which many in those religions believe to be fact, rather than simply accepting the underlying themes, like being humble, kind, faithful, nonjudgmental, and being good to others while doing no harm. If those who attack Scientology are equally critical of other religions, then thats fair, but if its done by people who belong to a religion themselves, then its hypocritical.
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by far the worst of that trilogy - by a long looooong way. Haven't seen Battlestar Galatica not my thing
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Well said. Thought i'd get that in before you get a shellacking from all angles!
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Damn You Michael Bay
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This is the part I want to know about: " sci-fi actioner "The Champions," with Guillermo del Toro attached to direct."
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...spare us anymore adaptations of L. Ron Hubbard novels!!!
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STAR WARS - Episode VII - Tokyo Drift
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What the hell? Are they remaking it?!
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...would be L. Ron Hubbard. And I think you're smart enough to know that Scientology isn't the only religion making money.
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I tried to watch the new episode the other night (first time) and it fucking blows. Enough with the shaky cam and bad acting.
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Except for that Tom Cruse part.
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No. I don't.
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a scene where Tom walks toward the camera and smacks his hands together, in order to show that his character has made some sort of decision.
Anyone can write a screenplay. It's just a matter of sucking.
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Other religions make money, sure. THROUGH DONATIONS. That's the difference between Scientology and real religions. Christianity, Bhuddism, Islah, Hinduism do not require money for one to be "saved". They may ask for money in the form of donations, but they don't charge somebody for the right to be saved. Can you imagine if Christians charged three thousand dollars per chapter of the bible? And you were forced to buy every chapter? Any "religion" that forces you to pay money for "redemption" isn't even worthy of being called a cult.Scientology is a "long con" that disguises itself as an alien cult that in turn disguises itself as a real religion.
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The Thing is a prequel.
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When I turn on the TV on Sunday mornings, I don't see Scientologists preaching to people asking for their money. And while other religions don't necessarily charge money to be saved, instead they use the carrot and stick method and fear, whereby you will be rewarded with admission to heaven and all sorts of bliss and redemption if you support their faith, and eternal damnation in hell if you don't.
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or maybe some of those Stephen R Donaldson books
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AH HA HA HA HAAAAA.
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How about a lesser known minor release film called Pulp Fiction?
funny you didn't list that one on your Travolta anthology. Perhaps you've never heard of it, in which case... SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN RIGHT OVER THERE. -
then i'm in.
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Asking, cajoling, begging or even for money is not the same as demanding money for salvation. The core tennants of real religions don't demand cash for being saved. It's some of the preachers who came up with that scheme. The core tennants of Scientology, though, do demand cash for salvation. That is what makes it a con. Sure, Scientology takes a page from some of the more insidious cults out there (seperating people from their families, denying sick people the proper care so that they are weaker and easily manipulated), but their basic modius operandi is that of a grifter putting the long con on a mark.
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I meant to say "or even begging".
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and they have their own state too. Although the idea of having multiple wives is cool, not so much when they're fucking children. FREAKS!!!!!!
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It has to be!!!! Oh wait, wrong studio. Sorry. What Sci-Fi properties do UA have in their vault that HASN'T been touched as of yet? Anyone?
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Wait, that movie was called Mission Impossible II? I thought it was a live action version of Scooby Doo, since basically the whole plot revolved around people wearing astonishing life-like masks that were capable of fooling people standing within five feet of them that they were somebody else. Also, only a cartoon adaptation would have something as absurd as two people riding motorcycles at each other at full speed and being able to jump 10 feet in the air and have a bear hug.
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Wasn't Tom Cruise attached to Princess of Mars at one point? Is Harry still developing it? Those books would be good trilogy fodder.
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On his tombstone, it'll say "Wrote MI-2."
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Good choice, Tom. I approve.
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Sure, it worked for BATTLEFIELD EARTH, huh? Whenever Tom (Cabana Boy) Cruise was "outted" by a tabloid, he linked-up with a hotty. His publicist thought a marriage would discourage invitations to retreat from the closet and that premise was shot down down in flames (Cruise's bizarre performance on Oprah's circus which translated into "I'm not gay"). Anyway, now Cruise's agent is insisting that the marriage is not eroding (apparently, Katie Holmes wants "out", for lack of a better word. You better believe she's been on auto-erotic pilot since the honeymoon). His latest pic, VALKYRIE, has been bumped from imminent release(needs "lots of post-production repairing", including Cruise's German accent). And when LIONS FOR LAMBS died a horrible death at the boxoffice, Cruise's agent blamed Robert Redford. It would have been simple if Cruise had voluntarily come out of the coset; at least his dignity would have been intact. But he's the blame for the wreck of his own career; this guy is the Hillary Clinton of Hollywood.
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"Battlefield Star Galactia Earth" Set right after season 4!
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and I curse tom
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I trust he'll make a good project
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c'mon
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Apr 18, 2008 4:13:50 PM CDT
tom cruise =... ie. scrotum... I store cum.... Moist cure......
by ironic_name
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The article said RDM was signed to write and CREATE. That means new stuff AFAICT, not an ADAPTATION of LRH garbage (and that's what it is: garbage.)
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....that I have read three times. It is a huge novel, epic in it's scope and could never be realised in a single feature film. The beauty of the book is the thought process of the villian, Terl, which was never clearly captured by Travolta. Imagine 'The Shield's' Vic Mackey as an alien, and you get the perfect 'Terl'. I never wanted to see Battlefield as a movie, and I'm even less keen to see Mission Earth 'Dekology' made into one. It's a shame that Hubbard's scientolgy rubbish can't be seperated from his great sci fi fiction. As for Ron Moore creating a 'new' trilogy..... are there even any new sci-fi stories out there? It will either be lame, or weakly copied from somewhere else. Dont get cheap, buy a decent franchise and adapt it well.
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heheh..
he managed to get "frak" into a lot of people's nomenclature but let's hope people don't take his "One True God" idea too far - oh, wait... -
I suggest you try Herbert, Clark, Simmons, etc... and realize what a hack Hubbard is (especially since he created a highly successful cult).
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try reading literary classics whose reputations have survived centuries of critics... Scientology is for cocksucking, gullible, indefensible losers.
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Up your nose with a rubber hose.
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Check out the charter membership: hams, has-beens and starlets. The Scientologists insisted that Cruise divorce Nicole Kidman because she refused to endorse their phony edicts (Kidman is a devout Catholic). But they won't allow Katie Holmes off the hook even though it's rumored she wants a separation/divorce; after the windfall of p.r. about the Cruise/Holmes marriage--even though it was patently phony from the start--any sort of marital erosion would reflect on the equally phony religion. Hell, they'll enforce corruptive, Hillary Clinton-type tactics if necessary (naturally, they'll insist that her offspring be raised as a Scientologist).
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The only thing more annoying than a self-righteous Christian is a windbag atheist. 'Night, everyone.
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1) Self-righteous Christians ARE more annoying, and 2) I'm not an athiest. But being as judgmental as you are, I know that doesn't matter to you. I can see you have pressing things on your mind, like Tom Cruise's personal life and his marriage, and which faith he plans to raise his daughter with. Try not to let it keep you up at night. Between him and other tabloid celebrities, I'm sure your mind is pretty occupied.
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if he read this thread. Also, wasn't there an actor that left the cult and is now talking about it?
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yeah, I don't remember the guy's name, but there was a link to it off Fark this week. If I remember correctly, he reached at least OT5 and realized Scientology hadn't done jack shit for him besides lightening his wallet.
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whatzit, just fall asleep the same way you do everynight. Dreaming of Tom Cruise, his relationships, and having him riding wild in your ass while yelling "Show me the money!!!" Sweet dreams, princess.
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Check-out IMDb; it was reported either last week or earlier this week. These defections are quite courageous, considering the "consequences" pledged by Scientologists.
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Yeah, the members give all their dirty secrets away in e-meter sessions, then face a pissed-off cult that values intimidation and litigation as lightly as taking a piss. I'm completely with you on how Scientology broke though the upper limit of the fuck-up scale and shows no sign of slowing.
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They're rewritten Cruise's background (including his alternate lifestyle) and Cruise has reciprocated by turning into their #1 propagandist/solicitor. He's also turned into a shrill puppet, turning-off the public. Other members, emptying their pockets, have been linked with aberrant (public) behavior: Kirstie Alley, Karen Black, Jeff Conaway, Lisa Marie Presley, etc.
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I don't know, given their celebrity spokes-people... how much is their that they can do (short of murder) that will actually shock the public (given Scientology is at least guilty of multiple accounts of manslaughter)? Rewrite all they want, those celebrities are on "Celebrity" status enough to where anything shocking they do passes without impacting the public psyche in the long term. I remember reading a sci-fi series set just a couple hundred years in the future in which, the author mentioned the CO$ having as much money as the Catholics... I can see that being completely accurate and on both counts, being completely depressing (Protestant colors showing here, will not apologize).
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Battlefield Earth!
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I wanna take you for a ride!
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Steviegrant: "the author mentioned the CO$ having as much money as the Catholics... I can see that being completely accurate and on both counts, being completely depressing (Protestant colors showing here, will not apologize" Exactly, Steviegrant. If a competing religion were to gain money and power, just like Catholicism has, thats pretty depressing to a Protestant like you. This is what I'm talking about. The hypocrisy of people who attack Scientology simply because they are fearful religious supremists who are concerned with strength in numbers and the world domination of their own religion, and the fear that other religions will eclipse their own. Its people with that mentality that represent all thats wrong with the world today.
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Scientology is just batshit crazy nonsense? That's reason enough to attack it, isn't it?
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But the thing is, you could say the same thing about most religions. And I guess you could bash most religions too, and some do, but usually people try to respect people's religious beliefs - at least its the civil thing to do. A lot of Christians think Islam is batshit crazy nonsense, and so from their point of view, they think thats reason enough to attack Islam - literally. With weapons. And vice versa. And thats whats fucked up about this world. A bunch of hateful, religious people everywhere attacking the shit out of each other, and not just with words. And innocent people with common sense are caught in the crossfire.
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A wide-eyed crazy madman kidnaps an almost famous actress and impregnates her with a cult leader's DNA and laughs maniacally at inappropriate times while occasionally flailing around on the ground for no reason....IN SPACE!
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Apparently he's writing a prequel for it! I'm excited!!!
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It's about a secret society dedicated to destroying humanity that uses brainwashing of it's lower ranked members and pretends to be a religion insinuating itself into society before unleashing pure evil onto the world ... apparently liked the concept but wasn't keen on his character a psychotic egotistical closet case who eats babies ... he liked the baby eating but thought the rest was a bit unrealistic.
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Catholicism. I was serious about the CO$. Probably should have made that more clear.
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try all you want, but there is no moral relativism between the CO$ and actual religions. The reason people attack Scientology is because it is predatory, aggressive cult. Every actual religion spreads it message for free and relies solely on donations, not expensive "fees" or sets of books. And actual religions are transparent, only cults are secretive.
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...is the day I'll respect their opinion regarding it.How long do you think we'll have to wait to see see a Muslim version of Father Ted? Centuries, I reckon...
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That is exactly why I never watched any of those crapfests, other than a few minutes when they were on TV. A few minutes was all I could stand before I just couldn't take it any more. Movies like that are an insult to the intelligence of, well, pretty much anyone with a functioning brain.
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The role of Tom Cruise will be played by Ben Stiller. All three movies will air in one year with a four month gap between each one. There will be no previews. Just a small segment of how Scientology works. Donations are required before continuing on the main attraction. Enjoy.
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