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Another Quick Review Of HANCOCK!

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. Response seems decidedly mixed on this one so far. I like Peter Berg a lot. One of the first films I ever took shit for recommending on this site was VERY BAD THINGS, and over the years, I think he’s gotten better with each film. Having said that, I think this is tricky material, and I am baffled by everything I’m hearing about how far the script has changed since it was called TONIGHT HE COMES. It sounds like a pretty far-out take on the superhero concept, and I hope Berg takes advantage of the next few months to really fine-tune this one and make it something special. This spy... he doesn’t seem to think that’s gonna happen...

Hey never done this before, Id like to say Im a long time reader but that’d be lying. I caught wind of the site around the time Bruce Willis was posting comments and have been hooked ever since. Anyway I just got back from a screening of Hancock the new movie with Will Smith, Charlize Theron, and Jason Bateman. I got an email last friday inviting me to a “preview of an upcoming summer blockbuster from a major motion picture studio”, so naturally being a fan of movies I rsvp’d and showed up hoping for The Dark Knight (yea right knew it wasn't gonna happen) or perhaps Hellboy. I got there waited in line and really wasnt sure what it was going to be, until I see peter burg walk in and take a seat in one of the “taped off VIP seats”, instantly I knew it was Hancock. The movie itself I found to be rancid, I know call me a plant all you’d like. The story itself is just bland and drags terribly. Its about Hancock being a terrible superhero, drinking on the job, calling people names, causing property damage and the sort. There is a good 30 minutes of set up showing that Hancock is supposed to be an alcoholic dick and another 15ish of him shoving things up peoples asses in prison(no joke). Once were out of the “Hancock is a misunderstood dick-head” phase of the movie were into the “Hancock is childlike and cant understand how to just be a nice guy” phase. Luckily that only lasts for about five minutes of the movie, during a bank robbery which Hancock is supposed to stop. He breaks it up no problem but seems to run into problems with saying the words “good job” over and over. The story changes a bit and reveals that Hancock is apparently a god, or at least thats what people used to call them, now they’re superheroes, and talks a bit about his kind being built it pairs etc. Im gonna go ahead and stop my description of the plot there because Im closing in on spoiler territory and I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. Just to sum it all up in two words, pretty crappy. Nobody stands out as giving a good performance, Will Smith does just ok like he always does, Charlize Theron is hot as hell like she always is, and Jason Bateman whom I love, seemed to phone this in. He has a few good jokes here and there but nothing compared to his funnier roles. To give people an idea of the vibe of this movie think My Super Ex-Girlfriend with a bit of poorly thought-out drama tossed in there for good measure. I may be jumping the gun on this a bit as the print I saw was far from finished, just the problems I had run much deeper then poor color, unfinished CGI, and crap sound. Im sure they can fix Will Smith flying to the song “Move Bitch” but I doubt they’ll be able to fix the retarded story. So take this as you will, If you call me a plant id say you need a cat scan asap. And like everyone else seems to say “ If you use this, Call me Atom.”
Readers Talkback
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  • April 14, 2008, 3:24 a.m. CST

    From all I've heard...

    by Aloy

    this sounds too tricky for them to pull it off. C minus.

  • April 14, 2008, 3:38 a.m. CST

    So you didn't like it then Atom?

    by Big_Bubbaloola

    Just a wild stab in the dark.

  • April 14, 2008, 4:10 a.m. CST

    hmmmm. EMAIL invite??

    by FuryofthefilmFan

    How you got that kinda pull Atom?

  • April 14, 2008, 4:35 a.m. CST


    by The Real MiraJeff

    i'm with you on very bad things. i saw that thing in theaters when i was 14 or so and i loved every twisted minute of it. with a cast like that, you can't go wrong. they should make a sequel with favs and orser driving diaz batshit crazy.

  • April 14, 2008, 5:05 a.m. CST

    Very Bad Things

    by Shad0wfax

    Was a Very Bad Movie, indeed. I was around fifteen or something when I saw it and what I remember of it was a film absent of likable characters, a point, or any jokes that didn't border on being grimly black.

  • April 14, 2008, 5:30 a.m. CST

    I still love Very Bad Things

    by DerLanghaarige

  • April 14, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Very Bad Thing

    by Series7

    I really liked that too. I think I am going to hold out and decide on this movie myself. The star of Shocker has a pretty good track record, thus far. But Will Smith has a talent for taking up and coming directors and making a very solid bland movie with them. On another note I just got in this HUGE argument about Will Smith movies and how the name like Will Smith puts people in seats. And my buddy was like thats not true he just picks good movies. And I was like yeah, thats why he puts people in seats, because he has done some good movies so people go just based on the fact he is in it. Man it went on forever. I don't think it aided our coolness any bit as well since we were in a resturante and cussing and almost yelling and it was about movies.

  • April 14, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Hellllll Gnaaaawwww- Daammmnnn

    by Jugdish

    Welcome to Eartf

  • April 14, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Mr. F*€king minivan.

    by chewyou812

    I took a lot of crap for reccomending Very Bad Things during it's theatrical run too. Still a big fan of the film however. As for Hancock, sounds like a refreshingly original take on the genre, which is something Hollywood has been too reluctant to do in recent years.

  • April 14, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    I dont get the Peter Berg love...

    by m_reporter

    ... his best film was The Rundown and that was meh at best.

  • April 14, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    It's an Apostrophe, go ahead ... try it.

    by cowboyone

    The film doesn't look great, but I can't take this reviewer too seriously.

  • April 14, 2008, 9:30 a.m. CST

    Alfred Hitch HanCock

    by Osmosis Jones

  • April 14, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    I was so excited about this movie...

    by a goonie

    ...back when it was called "Tonight He Comes" and Michael Mann was in talks to direct. Then the movie finally gets made and here we are, with a Peter Berg-directed flick that sounds downright awful. And for the record, I remember enjoying "Very Bad Things" when I saw it years ago. It's been a while, but I remember getting a kick out of the dark humour. But "The Kingdom" stunk.

  • April 14, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST


    by waggy

    just kidding. since when do plants give negative reviews to movies already getting them?

  • April 14, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Holy God

    by phool2056

    Please deliver AICN from every asshole who says "plant" in a talkback as a joke. While you're at it, deliver us from people who shout "Freebird" at concerts. We get it. You're making an ironic joke about previous hypothetical assholes. You're the asshole now. Stop it.

  • April 14, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    I just don't get why anyone thinks this flick looks "great"

    by finky089

    it's just "meh", to use a common AICN phrase. But for some reason it seems to have a number of people fooled into thinking it's going to be the next Austin Powers.

  • April 14, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    God, another "personal growth" movie.

    by cookylamoo

    I saw Smart People this weekend and aside from Ellen Page being this generation's Jessica Harper, it stunk. When are people going to learn, NOBODY ever experiences personal growth. Not after you're fourteen. After that, you're either an asshole or you're not and you're stuck with it.

  • April 14, 2008, 5:03 p.m. CST

    I thought it said, "MOVIE BITCH!"

    by Uncapie

    Now, that would have been funny!

  • April 14, 2008, 6:43 p.m. CST

    WWHD? What would Hancock Do?

    by The Winged Doucheman

    Keep me from the fucking theater on "Big Willie Weekend" thats what he'd do.