Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.

Response seems decidedly mixed on this one so far. I like Peter Berg a lot. One of the first films I ever took shit for recommending on this site was VERY BAD THINGS, and over the years, I think he’s gotten better with each film.

Having said that, I think this is tricky material, and I am baffled by everything I’m hearing about how far the script has changed since it was called TONIGHT HE COMES. It sounds like a pretty far-out take on the superhero concept, and I hope Berg takes advantage of the next few months to really fine-tune this one and make it something special.

This spy... he doesn’t seem to think that’s gonna happen...

Hey never done this before, Id like to say Im a long time reader but that’d be lying. I caught wind of the site around the time Bruce Willis was posting comments and have been hooked ever since.

Anyway I just got back from a screening of Hancock the new movie with Will Smith, Charlize Theron, and Jason Bateman. I got an email last friday inviting me to a “preview of an upcoming summer blockbuster from a major motion picture studio”, so naturally being a fan of movies I rsvp’d and showed up hoping for The Dark Knight (yea right knew it wasn't gonna happen) or perhaps Hellboy. I got there waited in line and really wasnt sure what it was going to be, until I see peter burg walk in and take a seat in one of the “taped off VIP seats”, instantly I knew it was Hancock.

The movie itself I found to be rancid, I know call me a plant all you’d like. The story itself is just bland and drags terribly. Its about Hancock being a terrible superhero, drinking on the job, calling people names, causing property damage and the sort. There is a good 30 minutes of set up showing that Hancock is supposed to be an alcoholic dick and another 15ish of him shoving things up peoples asses in prison(no joke). Once were out of the “Hancock is a misunderstood dick-head” phase of the movie were into the “Hancock is childlike and cant understand how to just be a nice guy” phase. Luckily that only lasts for about five minutes of the movie, during a bank robbery which Hancock is supposed to stop. He breaks it up no problem but seems to run into problems with saying the words “good job” over and over. The story changes a bit and reveals that Hancock is apparently a god, or at least thats what people used to call them, now they’re superheroes, and talks a bit about his kind being built it pairs etc. Im gonna go ahead and stop my description of the plot there because Im closing in on spoiler territory and I don’t want to ruin it for anyone.

Just to sum it all up in two words, pretty crappy. Nobody stands out as giving a good performance, Will Smith does just ok like he always does, Charlize Theron is hot as hell like she always is, and Jason Bateman whom I love, seemed to phone this in. He has a few good jokes here and there but nothing compared to his funnier roles. To give people an idea of the vibe of this movie think My Super Ex-Girlfriend with a bit of poorly thought-out drama tossed in there for good measure. I may be jumping the gun on this a bit as the print I saw was far from finished, just the problems I had run much deeper then poor color, unfinished CGI, and crap sound. Im sure they can fix Will Smith flying to the song “Move Bitch” but I doubt they’ll be able to fix the retarded story. So take this as you will, If you call me a plant id say you need a cat scan asap.

And like everyone else seems to say “ If you use this, Call me Atom.”