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No Gort!! No "Klaatu Barada Nikto"!! Uncapie Goes Postal On THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL Remake Script!!

Yo! I'm Uncapie! Everyone has seen the stand alone, classic 1951 film, "The Day the Earth Stood Still" directed by Robert Wise starring Michael Rennie as "Klaatu". It was based on Harry Bates' "Farewell To the Master" and is science fiction at its best. Now they're remaking it in Vancouver. Keanu Reeves is in the lead role as the visitor from another planet with a warning for Earth. Why? What was wrong with the original that merits a remake? After I read the script, I threw it against the wall.

BEWARE SPOILERS!!!


The story starts out with a promising beginning. Astronauts aboard the space shuttle discover a glassy sphere, which they recover through their bay doors. No sooner as they do, the sphere (as if it has a will of its own) lets itself out, joining thousands of other spheres that head towards the surface of the Earth. That's only the first two pages. Now it gets worse. Scientist Dr. Helen Benson (portrayed by Jennifer Connolly) has a whiny son, Jacob. He's not as interesting as Bobby Benson in the original, and I'm real tired of the dysfunctional family theme. Jacob plays too many "violent" video games, Helen scolds him for it. She might as well put a dress on this kid and get it over with. Yet, they live in a violent world - we discover that Jacob's father was killed in Iraq. An enormous energy sphere shows up in New York, and good ol' Klaatu makes his appearance. The entire army and air force are ready to stomp his ass if he gets out of line. Of course he gets shot, and we do get a robot to come out of the ship. But its nothing like "Gort" - nor is it as fierce as "Gort." Its called the "Totem". It walks around on all fours, does its destructo-ray stuff, and stands upright like a totem pole when its finished. Oooooh, I'm soooooo scared. Cut to the chase. Klaatu enters the hospital. He escapes in a military uniform. There is no allusion to the "Major Carpenter" or "Carpenter" name, which is the subtext in the original film (Klaatu was a metaphor for Christ). Klaatu befriends Helen and Jacob, enlisting their aid to meet with a "Mr. Wu" who is from Klaatu's home planet. Wu who has been monitoring Earth's behavior for eighty years - at a McDonald's of all places. Okay, logic problem here. If Klaatu is sent from his planet to destroy the Earth, why do we need Mr. Wu to tell us that it needs obliterating if he's already here? What? He couldn't do the job himself? How did he get here in the first place? Where's his space ship? Why wait eighty years? Why would Klaatu have to travel a hundred million light years for Mr. Wu to tell him that - when Klaatu is already doing the job he's sent on (coming from his home planet to destroy our world)? Turns out that...because of Global Warming (and the destruction of our own planet with industrial waste and pollution)....the other galaxies deemed that we are not fit to survive. The glass spheres they sent down were to collect land and sea animal specimens to take back to their planet for study. Visions ran through my head when I was reading this script: episodes of the sixties versions of "Ultraman" or "Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot." Maybe "Prince of Space: Part II" with Klaatu as "Krang-Kor." "Ha...ha...ha..." And no, the immortal words, "Klaatu Barada Nicto" are never uttered. Ever. Needless-to-say, Earth goes through a violent energy field released through Klaatu's ship (wait a minute - wasn't Gort supposed to be the ultimate bad ass in this story?). But Earth survives, with Klaatu giving we humans a second chance as he dies - telling us that we must change our ways in order to survive, in a delivery that would rival Steven Segal's speech at the end of "On Deadly Ground." Maybe the title song from "Godzilla Vs. the Smog Monster" would be more appropriate. And you can bet they'll be no Theramin music either. Maybe a few tunes by Dogstar, though. Gone are the interaction between Bobby and Klaatu at the Lincoln Memorial, the Arlington Cemetery, and the visit to the space ship. Gone is the scene with Bobby discovering Gort taking out the two guards - and finding out that Carpenter is an alien. Gone is the Hugh Marlowe character. Professor Barnhardt is in it, but his role his limited. Plus, he gets killed. Why? He was the voice of reason. This makes no sense. Yes, there is a scene where everything in the world stops for an hour and chaos erupts, but it was done in the original much better...and with style. There are so many books out there just begging to be made into films, why does Fox have to remake a classic? Why not film Joe Haldeman's,"Forever Wars"? Or "Alfred Bester's "The Stars My Destination"? Or Arthur C. Clarke's "Rendezvous With Rama"? Or "Childhood's End"? Or the Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson? Or quit stalling Orson Scott Card's "Ender's Game" as a movie? I have no hopes for this as a film. It can't hold a candle to the timeless original. Call it something else, but don't call it "Day the Earth Stood Still."
Uncapie

Readers Talkback
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  • April 9, 2008, 8:19 a.m. CST

    Reeves is the robot, right?

    by Stalin vs Predator

    I know they're made of metal rather than wood, but still... And still he is.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    Oh dear...

    by drwilliamweir

    Uncapie is correct. There's so much untapped potential - why forever remake everything? Rendezvous with Rama is begging to be done. Fox - pull you goddamn heads out of your arses and get on it. Maybe then you'll have a classic to sell well into the future when these "rehashes" will fall to the wayside and into DVD bargain bins mere months after release...

  • April 9, 2008, 8:22 a.m. CST

    fuck Hollywood in the mouth!

    by Skankardly

  • April 9, 2008, 8:22 a.m. CST

    My goodness, this sounds stupid.

    by John Maddening

    Why not just rename the fucking thing?

  • April 9, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    What is the point?

    by neoaddix

    Agree totally with the latter sentiments in the review. There is absolutely no point in remaking this film.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    Yawn

    by ragunax

    I bet we will see the following garbage in this movie: Token Black guy, hot women who think Klaatu is sexy and mention they want his babies, a Bum with lines, the "I just got to town for the first time" G-rated person, a preggo, tough guy low-life who mutters: "Welcome to Earf" or "No one messes with MY town!". Just toss in the Real World crew, some emo band talking about leaving on the mothership to Emo-anus, etc.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:23 a.m. CST

    Ridiculous

    by PantherMatt

    What a waste. Keanu should have been cast as Gort, and costumed in a big metal suit, just like the original. That's more fitting for him. Anyway, I'll save my $12, and wait for something decent to come out

  • April 9, 2008, 8:25 a.m. CST

    Wow, can you get any more didactic?

    by rbatty024

    This sounds like a complete waste. Way to underestimate your audience's intelligence (although, judging by what makes money the audience isn't helping any).

  • April 9, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    So....this is the best they can do?

    by Neil Peart

    <p>It's one thing to put a message about being environmentally responsible in a movie, but to become so obsessed with environmentalism that you absolutely wreck a classic is just unconscionably horrible.</P> <p>While I agree it would be nice if Hollywood would adapt some classic novels into feature films, I don't know if it would be such a good idea because they'd just butcher them, too.</p>

  • April 9, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    New Original Sci Fi please..not more fucking remakes

    by quantize

    really..fuck the hell off hollywood

  • April 9, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    Let me get this right,

    by jae683

    they've got the obligatory Iraq War commentary, the Global Warming commentary, and the Violant Games commentary in one film? Brilliant! Now, where's Ule Boll when you need him.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:33 a.m. CST

    Sounds fucking horrible.

    by PotSmokinAlien

    It almost seems like they left out "klaatu barada nikto" to give us 'geeks' something to get all upset about (like flames on optimus), and distract us from the fact that the rest of the movie is still a fucking piece of garbage.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    This sounds weak...

    by codymr

    Uncapie is right why not make Rendezvous With Rama, Childhood's End or Ender's Game. Or if they MUST remake something, do a proper version of Starship Troopers... That Verhoven version was crummy.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Oh, and UnCapie ...

    by jae683

    I agree with you a 100%. They shouldn't call it Day the Earth Stood still, just like they shouldn't have called I am Legend, I Am Legend. But that's aother argument.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Hollywood Genocide

    by McFlyWalker

    I agree with the comments about studio's feeling the need to push out remakes, especially when There's so much quality material out there! What puzzles me, is that the studio's haven't latched onto the fact that there remakes are generally naff & discount much of the original idea's. Whether it's the French being responsible for Godzilla or War of the Worlds without Martian's, the studio's are getting it wrong. As for Keanu in this, i'm guessing that his stand out scene will involve a dumbstruck look & the immortal line 'Woh!'

  • April 9, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Hollywood Genocide

    by McFlyWalker

    I agree with the comments about studio's feeling the need to push out remakes, especially when There's so much quality material out there! What puzzles me, is that the studio's haven't latched onto the fact that there remakes are generally naff & discount much of the original idea's. Whether it's the French being responsible for Godzilla or War of the Worlds without Martian's, the studio's are getting it wrong. As for Keanu in this, i'm guessing that his stand out scene will involve a dumbstruck look & the immortal line 'Woh!'

  • April 9, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    Mr. Wu? A character named Mr. Wu?

    by Zufall

    Seriously? COCKSUCKER!

  • April 9, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwaaaaaaaah!

    by RetroActive

    There's your theme song.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    Remakes are *safe*...

    by rkhalloran

    The reason you don't see new material is that the studios are so scared of losing money they'd rather dust off a classic and fsck it up in a remake than take a chance on original material. Idiots...

  • April 9, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    I like the Twilight Zones flip on it better.

    by jae683

    Aliens come down and accuse the world governments of having a 'small talent for war.' All the governments rush to sigh peace treaties only to realize the aliens appreciated or war like tendancies instead and nuke the planet because we're too 'peaceful.'

  • April 9, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Mr Wu?

    by Judge Briggs

    Of Deadwood? Sweargin! You take care of those cocksucker astronauts!

  • April 9, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    Goddammit -- Why hasn't Forge of God

    by tritium

    and Anvil of Stars been filmed yet!!!

  • April 9, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    ATTACK OF THE REMAKE GESTAPO!!!

    by dr sauch

    Uncappie, for shame. You're stirring up the shit! "What was wrong with the original that would merit a remake" is the single most irresponsible statement on remakes I've ever heard. Something has to be "wrong" with a movie to warrant a remake? Isn't the point of a remake to capture and re-interpret what is RIGHT with a movie? You people and your goddamn blind hatred of all remakes. They're gonna get made, nothing will change that, you might as well be optimistic. Further, the argument that 76ing all remakes would free up money for original work is baseless and you all know it. If theres one thing Hollywood will never run out of, it's money. If the film warrants getting made, it WILL get made, no matter what else is in the pipe. Stop with the remake hate, and wait for the final product.

  • April 9, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Forge Of God...

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    And Anvil Of Stars strike me more as miniseries, to be honest. Rama is in the pipeline. Ender's Game's problem is Card himself, he's an disagreeable old man. But with all the cgi flying around these days everything is becoming ripe for adaptation. The question is will they be any good?

  • April 9, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Actually...

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    Wasn't Odyssey five very much a Forge Of God rip-off...?

  • April 9, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    the environmental thing is stupid

    by Judge Briggs

    it should be electing Bush and dealing with his aftermath of the past 8 years.... 'people of Earth, we've come to stop you from electing such dumbasses... it is your dumbass-selves that is putting the earth in jeopardy!"

  • April 9, 2008, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Farewell to the Master

    by VideoVorlon

    Was the original short story by Harry bates, on which the movie was based. They should have used it as a template for this remake. In it, the robot turns out to be the master.

  • April 9, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    This makes very little sense.

    by justgetreal

    In the original, Klaatu was absolutely emotionless, so I can see where Keanu Reeves could possibly pull that off. But Gort is an iconic character, a large part of why the original was so good. Even all these years later, they should make him look exactly the same, glowing eye and all. And what about the flying saucer? That thing looked cool as hell. We don't need no stinking energy spheres. If you're going to remake it, at least make it to look like the original.

  • April 9, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    On Deadly Ground

    by ManosTHOF

    "Let's stop pollution.... by augering this oil rig into the ocean floor and spilling tons of toxic chemicals."

  • April 9, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST

    I smell...

    by HueyFreeman

    (*sniff*)(*sniff*) SHIIIIIIIIT!!!!

  • April 9, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    GORT/GNUT is the The Master...

    by JohnnyDeath

    The only possible reason to remake this would be to make it closer to the short story, not to distance it further. The Original Robewrt Wise film is a masterpiece, as is the short story Farewell to the Master. Read the story then watch the original. Killdozer, now there is a movie to be remade with Keanu.

  • April 9, 2008, 9:34 a.m. CST

    Useless Review

    by unclebusu

    This site is good about 60% of the time. This review though is totally useless. Why even write something if you have no intention of trying to give even a remotely impartial review? I'm not defending this remake. It can and will suck balls. Still, haven't you been around long enough to have gained the ability to analyze something on its own without doing a frame for frame comparison?

  • April 9, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    SAN FRANCISCO -- COCKSUCKA!

    by Johnny Smith

    Keone Young needs to reprise the role of Mr. Wu, please. Thanks.

  • April 9, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    FOX & Sci-Fi

    by wanderlust

    Anyone remember when this studio stood for GOOD quality sci-fi films? Star Wars? Alien? First ID4, then AvP: Requiem, and now this? They should take a cue from Lucas' playbook and his upcoming Star Wars films and tell some animated Alien stories - THAT seems like a cool universe ripe with NEW storytelling possibilities...

  • April 9, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    I could care less.

    by Raymar

    The original was fascist propaganda anyway.

  • April 9, 2008, 9:46 a.m. CST

    This One Will be Fascist Propaganda, Too

    by kevinwillis.net

    What's the problem?

  • April 9, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    Send the army....

    by Gunslinger1919

    ...the airforce and a dog catcher too! And that's just what they did! They came for space pigs. With planes and with tanks and with loud whirligigs! Oh, it was dreadful, a real worldstopper. All from an Edwurd Fudwupper Fat Whopper!

  • April 9, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Again, all I can do...

    by Kid Z

    ...is sit here and fume and once again quote the immortals Chuck D and Flavor Flav, "Burn, Hollywood, BURN!"

  • April 9, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    It's a remake of Captain Planet!

    by Bot-Bot

    Goddamned Hollywood and the politically correct - why would aliens come here from light years away to tell us to take care of our planet? The whole point of the original film was that the aliens felt threatened by our violent path and were afraid our aggression would spread to other planets. What does this film imply? "Oh, you Earth people are dirty. Clean up please. See you later." It's fucking Captain Planet!

  • April 9, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    it's not Mr. Wu

    by TheBaxter

    it's Mr. Woah... and he'll be played Eddie-Murphy-style by Keanu, in some Rick Baker asian old guy makeup.

  • April 9, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    The boy and mom...

    by Pariah74

    IN the original she was a single mom and in the fifties movies that was about as dysfunctional as you could show. That said, the rest seems to be unrecognizable as TDTESS.

  • April 9, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    I Won't Stand Still for THIS!!

    by C.K. Lamoo

    And why would aliens want to study our animals? Why not simply take our pornography and grunge records.

  • April 9, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Hollywood will stop making stupid remakes like this one

    by Snookeroo

    when audiences stop going to see them, and/or renting the videos. Their take is that a remake has a built-in audience, and so it's a safer bet to produce. The problem is that there are enough ass-hats out there to prove Hollywood right.

  • April 9, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Stoopid review

    by Bass Ackwards

    Though yes, this sounds horrible, what is a script review doing criticizing the way lines are delivered or the "style" of sections of the film, I'd think this guy had already seen the film the way this is written.

  • April 9, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Quote from Mr. Wu!

    by C.K. Lamoo

    Kill them all Klattu, we'll teach these earth insects the meaning of peace and cooperation. Besides, this fucking quarter pounder has given me indigestion.

  • April 9, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST

    I've never felt this much

    by decypher44

    over a movie before, but they done pissed me off! I want o sit here and type up a long tirade about this abortion of a classic, but I can't. I'm too angry and at a loss of words that would accurately describe the loathing I have right now. Damn, I'm pissed. And they better not call this The Day the Earth Stood Still. Just call it "Al Gore Presents: Glass Spheres of Salvation".

  • April 9, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    Reeves Martyred

    by enderandrew

    Haven't we seen this before? Matrix, Devil's Advocate, Constantine, etc?

  • April 9, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    The original advocated authoritarian rule by robots

    by wintocha67

    Now that ain't cool at all, and it ain't the American way. A Jesus metaphor, you ain't kidding.

  • April 9, 2008, 11:07 a.m. CST

    No one's burning copies of the original, kiddo

    by Freakemovie

    So this is what the geeks will be upset about this week.

  • April 9, 2008, 11:18 a.m. CST

    I wanted to quote a good Keanu movie...

    by TheCap

    ... but I couldn't find one. That is all.

  • April 9, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    STOP THE FUCKING REMAKES

    by Gungan Slayer

    HOLLYWOOD. There's tons of people trying to get into the industry with new, original and creative ideas---give them a chance and quite slopping remakes together.

  • April 9, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Wait...this isn't April 1st....that must mean....

    by godzillasushi

    Oh, goodness. Neo and Al Gore: Bloc Party: Featuring Happy Fun Hour of Totem the Totem Pole: Special Guest Appearance by Video Game Violence: A look into why they harm society and children. Presented by Fox, makers of The Moment of Truth, and strongly supported by Fox News, who never played Mass Effect, but think it might be really really bad maybe.

  • April 9, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Why there is no Christ imagery

    by RenoNevada2000

    Keanu already did the Christ imagery thing in the third MATRIX flick. Besides, we all know he is the anti-Christ.

  • April 9, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    NO! Make *more* remakes! Here's why...

    by Scorpio

    I sympathize with the notion that they should be bringing other classics (Ender, Rama, Childhood's End, etc.) to the screen. But why would we want that? Seriously, if they are going to do *this* to a classic like TDTESS, which actually showed them decades ago the *right* way to do sci-fi, why in the world do we want them to take a piss on, dumb down, and filth up the memories of more great books? This is an outrage. I'd rather see them make fools of themselves and lose millions by making more bad remakes than ruin some classics that are likely best reserved as books.

  • April 9, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    I agree....

    by seniorspeilbergio

    there are tons of other great science fiction novels out there that need to be adapted. Why not make Robert Sawyers' Calculating God about an alien who comes to earth looking for evidence of the existence of God and then starts a lengthy debate with an earth scientist who's an atheist. There's also Bloom by Wil McCarthy, A Fire Upon the Deep by Vernor Vinge, Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson, Vast by Linda Nagata, The Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe, The Revelation Space Novels by Alastair Reynolds, Dragons Egg by Robert L. Forward, The Black Cloud by Fred Hoyle, The Jupiter Theft by Donald Moffit.... well, i could go on all day but guys do this real quick: go to Amazon and look up these titles and read just the premise and maybe one or two reviews and tell me you wouldn't rather see these stories over something that's already been told and done right a half century ago.

  • April 9, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    So they stop us from destroying the planet...

    by Knuckleduster

    ... by destroying the planet?

  • April 9, 2008, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Don't remake it unless you try to IMPROVE on it

    by Darksider

    What the hell!? They're taking out everything that makes this a classic. Jesus, after fucking Transformers you'd think Gort would be a given. How do these people get to work in Hollywood? How about we throw out the whole alien thing and make him a bum who thinks he's GOD, and make Gort his dog. Oh, and make it a comedy. Hire Jack Black.

  • April 9, 2008, 12:12 p.m. CST

    Checklist: Iraq, Global Warming, Video Games, Youtube, iphone...

    by christian66

    It's shocking how little thought or passion seems to go into these scripts. If you're going to bother to remake the film, why not go back to the source novella? Can you imagine the committee level thinking that resulted in adding Iraq War widow and violent video games and Global Warming to make this "relevant"? And I'm a liberal!

  • April 9, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    TDTESSINO!

    by ironic_name

    TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO! TDTESSINO!

  • April 9, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    HERE IS A REAL SCOOP!

    by RedHades

    Keanu Reeves himself told in an interview a few weeks ago to MTV that YES, he says the "classic" lines: "Klaatu Barada Nikto"! It's the man himself saying, so believe in what you want. One of the best Keanu fansites online - Keanuweb - http://keanuweb.com - got their hands in an early conceptual design from Lorin Wood, artist who is listed at IMDB as working in The Day the Earth Stood Still design team (coincidence, uh?). Someone found it at his blog and the draw is named: GORT. yes, Gort. You can see it here in this link - http://lorinwood.com/ or directly here - http://lorinwood.com/gort.jpg (Now... this is a scoop or what? Only Keanu sites have it for now...). So, I don't think it would cost too much to wait and see what will happen, uh?

  • April 9, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    unclebusu a note. Top marks for the baxter's post.

    by Uncapie

    Why would I give it an impartial revew when its shit? I don't step in it and I don't eat it, but I know when I smell or read it. The problem with remaking this film is that the "powers in charge" have never read Besters story, let alone understood the original film's layered subtext. They've created a souless, hybrid what they think the public will want to see because it deals with current issues(Manufactured issues at that.). By remaking a classic, which was done right the first time, the people involved so desperately want to be a part of that history. Why not make your own history instead of copying someone elses and trying to steal their thunder? Robert Wise won four Academy Awards for directing and all his films during his carrer garnished 80. How can you improve on that with that kind of talent at the helm of the original? Harry Cohn, Louie Mayer, the Lammle's, Herbert J. Yates(With the exception of Vera Ralston.) the Lasky's and Jack Warner took chances, but they were smart about it. That's why they were successful. Spiros Skourus(Head of 20th back in the day.)wasn't. He thought "Cleopatra" with Dick and Liz(The 50's version of Angelina and Brad.)would merrit as a big budget, four hour remake that Cecil B. DeMille did right the first time with Claudette Colbert that came in a little over an hour and a half. Skorus was responsible for almost single handedly destroying 20th with that film and he had to sell off the back lot where Century City now stands. You don't have creative minds making decisions anymore. You have CPA's and attorney's that don't know what makes a good film, only how they can capitalize on a name or product and what's the bottom profit margin for them. They're serving up fast food for the masses. No style, no substance no nutrional value for the brain and you feel empty once you've had it. THE BAXTER...your post made me laugh! "Mr. Whoa!" That was funny!

  • April 9, 2008, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Nice find Red

    by metaluna

    Now why don't we all STFU until the movie is here? I don't like the idea of remaking one of my fav films either, so they're either gonna go totally different and good or they will screw it up royally but right now, we have no idea what is in this film or how they will approach it. As RedHades post has SHOWN, they have a 'Gort' and therefore this script review is bogus (it obviously has a Gort) until we see the final product. I suspect Uncapie has a duff script revision/version. Way to go off all prematurely there fella! Let's wait an see, huh?

  • April 9, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Good stories tend to get retold

    by JumpinJehosaphat

    Coming from a live theater background (and no, I'm not going to spell it "theatre"), it's strange to see what film has done to the concept of story retelling, and to the audience. There are so many artistic mediums which revisit the same themes, the same stories. Yet, we as movie-goers tend to want our stories reset in very particular ways. Interesting....

  • April 9, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    RedHades

    by Darksider

    Thanks for the links. And could the right-winger trolls shut the fuck up? The original film came out in 1951. What the fuck are you going on about? Aren't you missing Fox News or something?

  • April 9, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Please don't turn any of Gene Wolfe's novels into films.

    by successor

    Some novels are unadaptable, and Gene Wolfe's books are a prime example. Really, we don't need a version of _The Book of the New Sun_ with Keanu Reeves as Severian.

  • April 9, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Good job Hollywood! talentless fuckers.

    by The Ghost of Marcus Brody

    uncapie is right, so many great stories but you choose the same recycled shit. It's a crying shame.

  • April 9, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Keanu. Good choice.

    by ZeroCorpse

    For other projects with no heart, see 90% of Keanu's credits.

  • April 9, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    It's a parable for the US Invasion of Iraq,

    by C.K. Lamoo

    We'll stop those crazy people from killing each other if we have to destroy every last one of them.

  • April 9, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST

    TDDESSINO!

    by bobjustbob

    Had to be said...

  • April 9, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    About the GORT concept art

    by RedHades

    It is at Keanuweb for a time now and fans kept it undercover and it's a real nice find! I think AICN could post it and could try to check with the production team or artist Lorin Wood, who is working on the movie, and get some word from them.

  • April 9, 2008, 1:13 p.m. CST

    Doh!

    by bobjustbob

    ...already been said. :(

  • April 9, 2008, 1:46 p.m. CST

    Why is everyone surprised?

    by Kid Z

    ... after all Hollywood are the same folks who bought the rights to Wanted and changed everything but the title, "Wanted". Why even ask why they didn't "just make up their own concept... it's Hollywood, they have no true creativity aside from creativity in f***ing up the ideas of people who actually are creative.

  • April 9, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Photoshop pics on Day remake

    by Uncapie

    Yeah, real nice. Keanu's head on Michael Rennie's space suited body. Ringo Starr did it better on his album cover.

  • April 9, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Successor....

    by seniorspeilbergio

    who says Keanu Reeves as Severian? Nothings unadaptable. You just have to find the right approach. I think Terry Gilliam would make an awesome adaptation.

  • April 9, 2008, 2:37 p.m. CST

    Klaatu...Varada.....N....necktie...nickel..

    by Reel American Hero

    It's an 'N' word, definitely an N word.

  • April 9, 2008, 3:02 p.m. CST

    never before

    by Falcon5768

    have I wanted to take a wooden bat to someones head in hollywood as I do now. The whole of California needs to fall into the ocean just so that the scum of Hollywood drowns. and any left swimming I will happily pick off with a rifle from a helicopter.

  • April 9, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    Name Recognition

    by Antz

    That's all they are after, it sells tickets. BUT there is just as much name recognition potential out there from so many great books that have been sitting on the shelves of book stores for years and not touched. I'd love to see "The Stars my Destination" with Russel Crowe in it.

  • April 9, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    RedHades, Re: Concept Art

    by RenoNevada2000

    Do you think that this Lorin Wood guy would jepordize his job on the film by posting actual preproduction artwork on his own website months before the film was due in theaters? A more likely scenario is that he probably created the piece as part of applying for the position and then showed up for work to be told that Gort wasn't going to be in the flick, leaving him free to do with it what he wanted to do.

  • April 9, 2008, 3:27 p.m. CST

    More fucking garbage from Hollywood.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    Sounds terrible.

  • April 9, 2008, 3:56 p.m. CST

    So Gay The Earth Stood Still.

    by C.K. Lamoo

    Not that there's anything wrong with that.

  • April 9, 2008, 4:11 p.m. CST

    FORGE of GOD, FORGE of GOD, FORGE of GOD

    by tritium

    ANVIL of STARS, ANVIL of STARS, ANVIL of STARS <p><p>Maybe someone in Hollywood is reading this and makes it happen...what, stranger things have happened?

  • April 9, 2008, 4:50 p.m. CST

    I thought it sounded terrible and an afront to the original ...

    by Gabba-UK

    the the magic word was mentioned. Fox. Say no fucking more. Fox are shit, run by a shit and owned by a bigger shit. I hereby decree that anyone who works for them should no longer be thought of as anything but a hack, unworthy of our attention. I have spoken and it is so ordered!

  • April 9, 2008, 5:19 p.m. CST

    AND WE'RE SURPRISED WHY? IT'S FUCKING FOX

    by JaPra

    This coming from the studio that can't make a good film unless they relinquish control to a writer/director who has negotiated for creative control.<br><br>Fox has a history for fucking things up. The fucked the shit out of the ALIEN series because they were so bent on control and money. I am not surprised that this script got the greenlight.<br><br> We have to remember, this is about opening weekend, making around maybe 50 million and then riding past 100 million in the next few weeks. <br><br> This is about money. PERIOD.

  • April 9, 2008, 5:21 p.m. CST

    ughh

    by slkboxrman

    i never believe these "ive just read the script" retards so i dont care about that overly long "review"......reading a script is totlly different than seeing a finished movie anyways

  • April 9, 2008, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Carbon Tax: The Movie

    by TheBloop

    Wow more propaganda from hollywood about the Global Warming hoax, which is nothing more than big money grab to tax the hell out of "your carbon footprint". Hell, if you go down that road, tax really fat people more, because they are winded all the time, and they exhale carbon dioxide, that famous green house gas.

  • April 9, 2008, 6:02 p.m. CST

    No Gort is a good thing....NOT!

    by EvilGeek1

    Fuck, I wasn't looking forward to this anyway, but jesus talk about twisting the knife. It's "creative rape" that's going on here boys and girls. And there's nothing we can do about it.

  • April 9, 2008, 6:08 p.m. CST

    slkbxrman...

    by Uncapie

    The late, great Lindsay Anderson once told me, "There are no great movies; only great scripts." Coming from a guy who directed four influential UK films("This Sporting Life," "If...," "O'Lucky Man" and "Britannia Hospital.") and learned movie making from the legendary John Ford, I'd say he knew what he was talking about. It all begins with the script.

  • April 9, 2008, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Tom Bodet...

    by Uncapie

    "Uncapie the Unstoppable..."I like that! Mind if I use it? I feel like getting in the ring with Mil Mascaras or Space Gorilla.

  • April 9, 2008, 7:08 p.m. CST

    Makes No Sense

    by mike904

    We're a danger to no one but ourselves so other beings want us eliminated. Will they take over when we're gone?

  • April 9, 2008, 7:57 p.m. CST

    FUCK FOX FOR FUCKING THIS UP

    by Ferf Muckmeyer

    The Day the Earth Stood Still - easily one of the greatest Sci-Fi films of all time. Question #1 - why remake it? That's like remaking fucking Star Wars or The Ten Commandments. Question #2 - if you are going to remake it, why change shit? Don't call Gort "Gort"? Change Gort to a "Totem"? WTF? Don't utter "Klaatu Barada Nicto"? WTF is up with THAT? and finally - Mr. Wu at fucking McDonalds? Give me a fucking break. Fox sucks the DONG OF A RHINO FOR SHITTING THIS UP. I hope they go bankrupt when this film sucks ASS. FUCK FOX.

  • April 9, 2008, 8:05 p.m. CST

    80 years in Mcdonalds???? WTF?

    by chapman

    McDonalds was founded in 1940...so either this shit is happening way in the future, Uncapie read the script wrong, or the writer is an idiot...

  • April 9, 2008, 8:18 p.m. CST

    That sounds fucking shitty! The studios don't have a clue!

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • April 9, 2008, 8:37 p.m. CST

    Why call it The Day the Eart Stood Still?

    by Pariah74

    That's my biggest beef with remakes. Why call it a remake when it's in name only? Why not just make this movie, call it Space Invaders and tell people it was heavily influenced by TDTESS?

  • April 9, 2008, 9:02 p.m. CST

    Why I'm Glad CHILDHOOD'S END Can't Get Off The Ground

    by LaserPants

    Can you imagine the rape that would occur if these retardo studio jackasses get their hands on it? Thank god it remains unsullied by their dumbassery. (Of course, if Cuaron, Del Toro, or, best of all, the reanimated corpse of Kubrick was signed up to do it, I'd instantaneously mindgasm.)

  • April 9, 2008, 9:03 p.m. CST

    "Uh... Earth? Uh... Your Harshin' My Mellow, Dudes."

    by LaserPants

    "Uh... also? I... uh... know kung fu. Whoah."

  • April 9, 2008, 9:10 p.m. CST

    Teenagers From Outer Space

    by kevred

    I just finished watching the MST3K episode "Teenagers From Outer Space", and halfway through this script summary, my eyes glazed over and I found myself visualizing that cheap old movie instead. This new ones sounds far dumber.<p>I agree with the conclusion Uncapie reached--there's an endless library of sci-fi material, decades' worth, that would make great source material. Is it *impossible* for Hollywood to create something it hasn't already seen on screen before? "See, we'll have that ship, but it'll be round...and that Guy--he'll be Keanu...and the robot there? What if he was bigger and walked on four legs? Coool...."<p>Hollywood, please know this: one day, your children will grow up and realize that their parents' life work was a bunch of derivative, dumbed-down crap. Is that what you want? (Note: if you haven't already reproduced, please do not start.)

  • April 9, 2008, 9:51 p.m. CST

    Was this script written by chimpanzees?

    by The Outlander

    And did they actually watch the original movie?

  • April 9, 2008, 10:12 p.m. CST

    Darksider

    by TheBloop

    I love how left-wing moonbats get all hot over Fox News, when the only reason it was created was to counter the barrage of completely left wing biased news sources that had stranglehold on new sources. IF New York Times, CNN, Dan Rather, etc... were at the tinniest bit unbiased, there would be no Fox News. How do you like them apples, fruit cake?

  • April 9, 2008, 10:40 p.m. CST

    About Gort to RenoNevada2000

    by RedHades

    Well, I agree with you about Lorin Wood jeopardizing his work by putting that concept art in his site, and that's why I asked for someone from AICN to try to discover something more about it. But, think with me: isn't too much coincidence that the guy is indeed listed as conceptual artist for the movie and has that draw in his blog? named Gort? And why in hell would they hire a conceptual artist and he would present something like that and then producers say: No, there is no Gort! It's stupid! (OK, I know they can be like that, but whatever). Well, IMO there is no way the movie won't have a Gort. The robot is there, the fact it's named Totem in the draft means nothing, it may be Gort. I read that interview with Keanu and he say he utters the classic line AND that they have Gort, but a "new" one. I believe that this script may be true, maybe an early draft, as we know Scott Derrickson was working again on the script before starting filming and it may be gone through many changes, but I don't believe the line and Gort will be away from the new version. As for the changes: well folks, it's obvious it won't be the same movie you all love! We are in 08, not in the 50s, and things changed. The original version will still there, what we have here is an update, something new taken from the ideas of the original. I think we should reserve judgement for AFTER seeing something more about the movie...BTW, here is what Keanu said to MTV: -------- Link here: http://www.mtv.ca/news/article.jhtml?id=7834 " MTV: You're no stranger to sci-fi, and you've just shot another big one, the remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still." Why do you love the genre so much? Reeves: Wow, big question. I really enjoy science-fiction. As a genre, it's very flexible. It's almost an über-genre. You can do science-fiction romance or drama or horror. It always carries something else with it. MTV: The first "The Day the Earth Stood Still" was very much an allegory. Is there as much of a commentary in this one? Reeves: Yeah. Absolutely. The first one was born out of the Cold War and nuclear détente. Klaatu [the protagonist in the film] came and was saying, "Cease and desist with your violence. If you can't do it yourselves, we're going to do it." That was the film of that day. The version I was just working on, instead of being man against man, it's more about man against nature. My Klaatu says, "If the Earth dies, you die. If you die, the Earth survives. I'm a friend to the Earth." MTV: Sounds like Al Gore will be a fan. Reeves: Well, it's trying to reach beyond the idea of environmentalism. It's dealing with not just the consequences of what we're doing, but who we are as a species. MTV: Do you say the immortal words, "Klaatu barada nikto"? Reeves: I do. MTV: I assume Gort looks a bit different than the tin man of the original. Reeves: Hey, man, don't put that tin man down. That was iconoclastic. Except for "Metropolis," that might be the best [robot]. Yes, we have another version of the tin man. MTV: Would you call it an action movie? Reeves: It's more of a propulsive drama with a road movie in there."

  • April 9, 2008, 10:52 p.m. CST

    No "klaatu barada niktu"? GOOD

    by redshirt

    Unless it's Bruce Campbell saying it, that is!

  • April 9, 2008, 11:15 p.m. CST

    you guys are looooooooooooosssers

    by ThePilgrim

    Seriously you try to stop this shit but you don't stand up for Halloween, or Texas chainsaw Massacre or Friday the 13th. fuck you Sci Gem. Let Rob zombie direct it, then release it through platinum dunes. Toss in a guy named Jig Saw for ab extra measure of Craptastic! <P> Hey I got it, why not review the Friday the 13th remake script next. You all know it's shit it comes fromthe Freddy Vs Jason scribes. I like this movie too... But damn now you really piss and moan. I say time for the sci fi fans too get a taste of shit, that we poor horror fans have been getting. I keep fearing the THING Remake... They need to make a Thing Sequel before it's too late. David Fincher!!!!

  • April 9, 2008, 11:40 p.m. CST

    Well if I worked at McDonald's...

    by blackmantis

    ...I'd think the world should end too. I think this reviewer was looking to hate this script from the get go and not exactly looking at it with an objective eye. His entire criticism is that it's not exactly like the original film. Is this film unnecessary? Yeah, but we're getting it whether we like it or not so I think it should be approached on its own terms. A remake of Howard Hawks' Thing From Another World was unnecessary, but we got another sci-fi classic out of that.

  • April 9, 2008, 11:46 p.m. CST

    A remake of Howard Hawks' Thing From Another World was unnecessa

    by ThePilgrim

    It's not a fucking remake you asshole! Carpenter was more faithful to the original story "Who Goes There" Wiki it you stupid fuck! Sorry for the name calling but damnit If i hear someone call THE THING and Remake of The Thing From Another World one more time. I'm gonna bomb a comic book shop!

  • April 9, 2008, 11:52 p.m. CST

    and I agree with you

    by ThePilgrim

    this remake doesnt sound too bad. Mcdonalds isn;t a bad place to spend several years. Certianly he didn;t spend 80 cause Mc Donalds isn;t that old, but LEt's look at this objectively. the guy is an alien he doesnt have social security and so forth, he can't prove citizenship. McDonalds sound quite possible too me. And that is a great place to learn about people. You meet all walks of life flipping burgers and turning fries. So shut up uncappie. You love the original so much.. Pop it in your DVD player and watch it. You Sci fi Geeks deserves this and I don't think Gort would work looking like he did in the original. so it's no shock that he sounds more like the robot AMEE in Red Planet. Red Planet was a great movie by the way. I mean we find another form of life. It isn't superior to us so we sorta shrug our shoulders. We don't get into the what about god and all that shit though process at all..... Wonder if we will do this in real life...

  • April 10, 2008, 12:02 a.m. CST

    FFino is put out by thes fucking...

    by poeticwarriorII

    dumb asses and you ask why they remake this movie? Fox is in serious need of turnover because that dumbfuck making the decisions now couldn't find his ass with both hands. Fuck Fox.

  • April 10, 2008, 12:21 a.m. CST

    I hesitated to click on the headline for this story.

    by kabong

    Yup. This sounds BAAAAAAAAAAAD and I don't mean that in a good way.

  • April 10, 2008, 1:18 a.m. CST

    UNCAPIE SOUNDS LIKE A FRUSTRATED OLD WRITER

    by BartholomewSnatcher

    WHO NEVER CUT IT SO NOW SCRIBBLES SHITE LIKE REVIEWS OF HULK: "BEST MOVIE OF THE SUMMER!" AND TRAFFIC: "IT FELT FLAT" YES THOSE ARE REAL REVIEWS

  • April 10, 2008, 1:30 a.m. CST

    Sounds like...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ...it will fucking rock!

  • April 10, 2008, 4:18 a.m. CST

    Thanks for confirming Faux News is bullshit.

    by Darksider

    Yes, the "left wing" which can't win the White House or a real majority in Congress controls all media. Yes, everyone else is biased and wrong but you pork chop. Here's a clue: you don't create the news, you report the news. I still don't see what this has to do with this movie other than the exaggerations of weenie fascists.

  • April 10, 2008, 4:25 a.m. CST

    HERESY! DAMN THOSE HACKS TA HELL!

    by KillaKane

    C'mon this is a seminal Sci-fi film, imbued with many interesting notions on morality and humanity; without adherance to the very facets that fandom adore and oft recite it's simply going to alienate much of that market. Not a great start, but symptomatic of the prevailing reboot mentality and short-sighted approach of the studio execs. Why not just make generic sci-fi fodder based on TDTESS's premise? I was naively thinking this movie was going to be reverential to the original, even daring to imagine a holdover of some of Bernard Hermann's score, no such luck.

  • April 10, 2008, 5:27 a.m. CST

    KillaKane, I've read your post...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ...but I'm not sure that I understood one single word. But maybe that's just because I'm no native English speaker...

  • April 10, 2008, 5:49 a.m. CST

    MY GOD THIS SOUNDS SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

    by DamnMichaelBay

    DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY.

  • April 10, 2008, 6:13 a.m. CST

    Good to know

    by The StarWolf

    At today's movie ticket prices, it's nice to know here's another one I won't bother wasting money on.

  • April 10, 2008, 6:26 a.m. CST

    Er, Darksider

    by classyfredblassy

    I was just reading the posts above. Why you say "I still don't see what this has to do with this movie", i your just trying to be ironic? You are the one who brought up Fox News out of context. And when you say "ou don't create the news, you report the news" you are aware of things like CBS News' Memogate and the NY Times having Jayson Blair on their staff, are you?

  • April 10, 2008, 6:45 a.m. CST

    Keanu Barada Nikto

    by Napoleon Park

    Oh woe, a classic b&w Sci-fi film from the '50s is being remade. If it is changed in the least I shall hate it. If it is a shot for shot remake I shall scorn it. If it is totally different from the original I shall ask "why not change the title" but it it was touted as a new project I would cry out "sounds like they're ripping off TDTESS". Nothing shall please me!<p>If only there were some way to actually own a copy of the original film, like on some sort of tape or disc, so that my precious memories of the original would remain unbesmirched and I could simple ignore the existence of the remake the way I did with that Apes movie or Kong. Ah well, perhaps in the far flung future of the 21st Century such dreams shall come true. Home video, wall sized television screens and flying cars - what a grand world it shall be.

  • April 10, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    To be honest, I'm glad more s.f. books...

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    ...haven't made it to the big screen. It's especially hard to make good serious science fiction films that don't revolve around thriller, action or horror plotlines and not have them seem listless and dull. maybe we've actually been lucky so far. I was thinking there recently that if two mediocre adaptions of Ursula Le Guin's Lathe Of Heaven hadn't been made then perhaps Charlie Kauffman may have had a whack at it. It's certainly right up his alley. And does anyone really want Childhood's End written by Akiva Goldsman??? Or the guy who wrote the original script of I, Robot (as rewritten by Goldsman) writing Asimov's Foundation???

  • April 10, 2008, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Napoleon

    by just pillow talk

    Were you trying to make some sort of point? I kind of got distracted thinking about flying cars. I would upgrade to the XL350 with an ion cannon on the back. It'll run on sarcasm...gotta think about the environment after all.

  • April 10, 2008, 7:20 a.m. CST

    Foundation...

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    The guy who wrote/co-wrote Catwoman, The Core and Transformers wrote drafts of Foundation. I didn't know that. It really does make you wonder about everything doesn't it?

  • April 10, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Needs More Will Smith

    by Aquatarkusman

    Clocking Reeves upside the head with a table leg and screeching "Welcome to ERF!"

  • April 10, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    jae683, was that on original Twilight Zone ep?

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I know it was in the new series, and was a great episode. In 24 hours after millenia of war, Earth finally has peace only to..... I can't recall if it was in the orginal or not.

  • April 10, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    TDTESSINO

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    No Gort, and a total basardization of this plot equals TDTESSINO. If you want to make this movie, don't call it The Day the Earth Stood Still. It's a slap in the face to the beauty of the original. Guess what Hollywood, us movie geeks can still appreciate a classic black and white sci-fi film with a plot. We don't need a lot of pretty things that go boom all the time. Try coming up with an original idea.

  • April 10, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    I hope they never make the Dragonrider

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    movies from McCaffrey's (sp?)books. They would focus on CGI dragons only and totally remove the plot subtleties, and political conflicts of Pern.

  • April 10, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Grammaton Cleric Binks

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    Yes and what about Ender's Game, I'm sure some wantwit producer in Hollywood has got it in this head that it's "Harry Potter...in SPACE!"...yeah, have to stop venting spleen on this topic ;-)

  • April 10, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    I hate this!

    by Automaton Overlord

    I hate it bad. Why this movie? I don't know what to say. I feel like "re-makeing" somebody's FUCKING FACE!

  • April 10, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    To The Director...

    by Automaton Overlord

    Scott Derrickson, You are no longer welcome in Austin. I know you might be tempted to attend the next SXSW film festival. I will tear the stupid fucking glasses off your stupid fucking face, and shove them down your stupid fucking throat!

  • April 10, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Another re-make,are we surprised!

    by jimbubble

    The decaying carcass that is the asshole Hollywood,hasn`t come up with an original idea in decades,so don`t get all upset now. They should line all these fxcktard execs up against a wall! I doubt I`ll ever watch a Hollywood made film again,complete and utter shite!!!

  • April 10, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    the worst thing about the remake law of 2016

    by Napoleon Park

    is that whenever a classic film is remade all copies of the original have to be destroyed in a bonfire. Doesn't the government have better things to do than come to peoples homes twice a year to examine peoples cinema collections and confiscate and destroy all traces of the original versions of great films? I want my French La Femme Nikita back!

  • April 10, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    al gore barada nikto

    by alice 13

    i smell oscar!

  • April 10, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    I want the Ender's Game movie

    by finky089

    I'm not a big fan of adapting every major (or minor) literary work to the big screen, but this one lends itself well to it. <p> Plus, there's a whoel series for a studio to build off of. Isn't that what they all want these days? Another "Harry Potter/Star Wars/LOTR"? Or has that gone aside since Golden Compass/Dark is Rising/Spiderwick failed?

  • April 10, 2008, 12:30 p.m. CST

    By the way, this new DTESS sounds "NOT GORTY ENOUGH"

    by finky089

    NOT GORTY ENOUGH!

  • April 10, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    well at least will we get..

    by disfigurehead

    a "whoah"

  • April 10, 2008, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Poor old Ender's Game...

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    It's been in development hell for over a decade. They hired David Benioff and Dougherty and Harris to write drafts (no doubt at serious expense) and Card rejected them apparently. So he went back to writing the script himself. There are snatches of an early draft about, if you look around. It's fair to say that Card, like many fiction writers, doesn't understand screenwriting at all. I was going to say the film has a chance of getting made if Card dies, but he's only 56. I thought he was in his 80's...!

  • April 10, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Why even do these re-envisionments?

    by DrEdwardMorbius

    A: Because some jack-a-ninny at a studio figures they can make money off of movies they already own the rights to. They think it is safe, although they feel enough courage to completely change it up. There is nothing that needs a re-envisioning (sp?), just stories that aren't quite good enough on their own, therefore injecting some known properties into it may make them successful. I disagree with this line of thinking and believe the audience will actually embrace new concepts, ideas and stories without trying to drag a great movie/story through the shit. I'm waiting for the turd that is Hollywood to release the statement of a re-imagining of Jaws...this time in Michigan...with no Sheriff, no shark specialist, no shark hunter, no ocean...and no shark.

  • April 10, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Ender's Game

    by finky089

    TroutMaskReplicant, i'll have to do some Net scouring to see if I can find some pages of those drafts. I really enjoyed the book and do think it would be quite a task to adapt well, but surely, it could be done. <p> I guess OSC is just too attached to his own material to cut a good screenplay from it. There's alot of characters who are decently fleshed out in the book and most probably would be cut or combined, which I imagine feels "wrong" to him. <p> I guess I can just keep re-reading the book until a movie does materialize.

  • April 10, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Finky089

    by TroutMaskReplicant

    http://tiny.cc/NZpgp

  • April 10, 2008, 3:54 p.m. CST

    Ender's game cannot be translated to film...

    by Darth Macchio

    2 words: Child genius.<p><p><p>How do you portray that without actually having a child genius? A child actor acting like a child genius will only appear precocious on screen unless the project gets an absolutely brilliant screenwriter and director or they find a brilliant and absurdly talented child actor (that might be mutually exclusive...collating data). In particular, the older brother and sister portions; I won't spoil the whole thing but what they do will be very difficult to portray on-screen, especially within 120 minutes or so. On the page it's easy to forget your reading about (practically) supernaturally gifted children and thus suspend your disbelief...on the screen it won't be so easy and giving modern child actors scenarios as you find in 'Game' is potentially absurd. Not to say I don't want to see it...if done right it would be amazing...especially the end...still one of the best endings to any Sci-Fi I've read....but I just don't see how they could do this. All CGI would be lifeless and sucktastic. Using actors is possible....possible...possible. Here's a hint...don't let Dakota Fanning or Freddie Highmore anywhere near this (well...Freddie could possibly, technically pass for Ender...too old of course...but...hmmm).

  • April 10, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    TroutMaskReplicant!

    by LaserPants

    AWESOME name! I love me some Captain Beefheart.

  • April 10, 2008, 6:41 p.m. CST

    An inconvenient Klaatu

    by rock-me Amodeo

    Too bad it wasn't made 30 years ago, Gort could have come to save us from global cooling.

  • April 10, 2008, 6:43 p.m. CST

    EXCEPT THERE'S NO GORT!

    by rock-me Amodeo

    ...

  • April 10, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    "He was the voice of reason. This makes no sense"

    by JacksParasites

    That's because they killed the voice of reason...duh.

  • April 10, 2008, 7:21 p.m. CST

    The global warming thing is fucking lame!!!

    by DARTH VOODOO

    This is going to suck

  • April 10, 2008, 10:14 p.m. CST

    Why didn't the aliens destroy the Earth

    by Mace Tofu

    during the other Global Warming cycles the Earth has had. This will be the first one caused by people in earths history so they tell us. Usually it's the Sun or a volcano or asteroid, random magnetic pole shift or the continent separation or mountains shooting up out of the ocean or some earthquake that causes a major change on the planet ( a planet that seems to recover from each of these disastrous events without our help ) Making this the reason he comes to earth in the remake is just silly and the time , money and energy wasted making this remake will negate any good the "Place Current Environmental Message Here" would bring the world. The $100 million budget could be donated to charity. The gas, electricity, wood, waste from set construction, paints, trash that would be saved by not making the movie would equal the resources that could support a poor tribe in some third world country. Lame.

  • April 10, 2008, 10:59 p.m. CST

    Typical Hollywood P.C. bullsh*t

    by darthvedder81

    Our greatest sin is "global warming"? Removing the Christian imagery? Alluding to the War in Iraq?

  • April 11, 2008, 12:05 a.m. CST

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHH!!!!

    by Bones

    Man. Have the makers of this EVER SEEN THE ORIGINAL???<p> What. The. Fuck.<p> I keep hoping this is a late April Fool's Joke...but I know better. Sigh...

  • April 11, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    You know the best thing about Global Warming?

    by Darth Macchio

    True or not...human beings are the one's who will suffer (ok, a few animals too but mostly us and our 'way of life'). This is a perfect and delicious irony! We are accountable to our actions in the global sense naturally speaking!....even if we are never accountable for anything in all other circles of the society we've created. If it is true then we're all fucked which is not only fine, it's actually appropriate because it is OUR fault! A natural world 'quid pro quo' if you will. If it's not true, then we'll go zealot as usual and overreact which will affect people economically and socially. It will even very likely negatively affect the environment! (read about recycling, outside of cans and paper, most recycling is actually bad for the environment! another delightful irony). My take is simple: one outcome leads to certain death for humanity and one leads to questionable economic and social upheaval in various parts of the world (both taken to their extremems of course). You see...the Earth doesn't care...if we had a full-on nuclear war with the accompanying nuclear winter...the whole '40 years of non-stop darkness' thing....the Earth will heal itself and move on. We've got a pathetically overstated sense of entitlement and almost pathologically narcissistic take on our place in the universe (read: we ARE the universe) and I love that our "just desserts" will either be sweet or sour but no matter...we will all eat it just the same!!!<p><p><p>No, I'm not anti-human but I am for universal justice...natural or not...if we screw something up we should fix it or pay the price...nuff said.

  • April 11, 2008, 10:58 a.m. CST

    Oh and I still say...(on topic)

    by Darth Macchio

    That Ender's Game cannot be made without herculean effort by an incredibly talented group of filmmakers and storytellers. And the original "Day the Earth Stood Still" was more icon than great cinema for me (I watched it and got bored and changed the channel..sorry old-cinema film purists). I will say that a remake without Gort as he is in the original is ass. There's nothing scary about "Totem" in fact, why the fuck would aliens use a culturally specific word like "Totem" anyway? It's a anthropocentric word and more...it's typically secular in meaning! ASS! Gort or suck....your choice.

  • April 11, 2008, 10:27 p.m. CST

    We nees another "Ernest goes somewhere" movie

    by kirttrik

    Remember Ernest http://tinyurl.com/45q8e7

  • July 13, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Well you just dont stop whining do you.

    by MYkill

    Iv e just seen the teaser for this remake and Gort is there and so I believe are the famous words Klatu barada nicto. I'm a fan of the classic but remaking a movie isnt a bad thing it doesnt take anything from the original. Thats what humans do, they tell great stories and they get past down to the younger generation and every telling is a little different. This movie looks ok to me and I'll certainly be ripping it from Isohunt,I'll judge it when Ive seen it. Mind you any chance of Neil Gaimens Season of mist being turned into a movie, the gates of Hell are well guarded.

  • July 13, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Well you just dont stop whining do you.

    by MYkill

    Iv e just seen the teaser for this remake and Gort is there and so I believe are the famous words Klatu barada nicto. I'm a fan of the classic but remaking a movie isnt a bad thing it doesnt take anything from the original. Thats what humans do, they tell great stories and they get past down to the younger generation and every telling is a little different. This movie looks ok to me and I'll certainly be ripping it from Isohunt,I'll judge it when Ive seen it. Mind you any chance of Neil Gaimens Season of mist being turned into a movie, the gates of Hell are well guarded.

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