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Two More Reviews Showed Up From That LOVE GURU Screening...

Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. While I was on a quick one-day trip out of town, two new review from the first test screening of THE LOVE GURU showed up. I’m really curious to see how this one shapes up between now and release, and I’m sure they’ll be testing it many more times...

Hey Moriarty Saw the review of GURU posted. I was at the same screening in NJ and wanted to write in with my review. I saw the trailer on apple a few weeks ago and thought it was pretty lame. But I also saw some stuff on youtube that looked more promising. The movie is basically mike as a perverted love guru who is trying to reconcile romany malco's character with his wife so he can get his hockey groove back on. Jessica Alba is the hot owner of the hockey team who hires mike to get them back together. Verne is the coach of the hockey team- who totally steals the show in his mini-me office (hilarious) and when he gets tossed across the ice like a hockey puck. Mike revives the best of his Austin powers humor in this character - pulls a few old school references to wayne's world and Austin powers for the fans too. he creates all of these wacky definitions like E.I.E.I.O. and sings insane versions of "more than words" and "9 to 5". Its honestly really funny stuff. Colbert has a cameo as a sports announcer and Justin Timberlake is the guy with a big dick. He is definitely the weakest part of the movie... unless you count the cameo by jessica simpson which is horrific. Why does anyone give her a job? I don't get it. Anyway, the movie is funny as shit. I'm guessing mike is going to test the hell out of it and keep working on it so keep an eye out for more test screenings. Call me jockey hollow if you post this.

This next one’s a little longer and more in depth. I think this film is going to be the real test of Mike Myers as a box-office draw. He hasn’t tried to create an original comedy character in quite a while, and I’m very curious to see if the public’s still in tune with Myers at this point...

I honestly have no idea why I even went to this screening last night. Everything about this flick looked terrible. Myers' character design looked awful, the subject matter seemed annoying and the cast listing was unexciting to say the least (the invitation I received said "Starring Mike Myers, Jessica Alba and Justin Timberlake... enticing, i know). Plus, it was at the same place as that last miserable screening I wrote in about, so I didn't feel like having to deal with those jerkoffs at all. But I had a shitty weekend, I was stressed to the max and I just needed something to vent at. What better way to do so than to trash some POS comedy? I was definitely predisposed to hate this thing. Consequently, my expectations were well below abysmal. But I don't know what happened between my sitting in the theater and my taking that survey at the end, but I laughed my fucking ass off. It was probably a combination of my lowered expectations and the general enthusiasm that most preview audiences have regardless of the quality of the picture being viewed, but that still doesn't change the fact that the flick was really funny. This movie is gonna have a LOT of haters, and I completely cannot blame them at all. The kind of humor being used here is lowest common denominator stuff. I mean, there's literally about 20 references to cocks and balls that are painfully un-clever. As i watched it, I could truly picture the creators simply throwing handful after handful of shit at the screen, praying that the majority of it sticks. The thing is that even though you can sense they are trying way too hard to make you laugh, about 60% of the time, you do laugh. Specifically, the first 10 minutes or so of the flick were really, truly hilarious. This mainly results from one or two things: funny cutaways or the supporting cast. As an example, the Mike Myers "Guru" is hired by Jessica Alba's character, the inherited owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs, to help get their star player back on track after he separated from his wife and has since become useless on the ice. Cliche as hell, I know. But Romany Malco, from 40-Year-Old Virgin fame, is the aforementioned hockey star. While being referenced as the Tiger Woods of hockey is worth a chuckle, it's the cutaway to a group of black youths playing street hockey in the projects that had me dying. The supporting cast basically add up to a list of extended cameos, but when it comes to the previous Myers flicks, the cameos most often were the bits that I laughed at the most. Notably, The Maple Leafs announcers are played by Jim Jim Gaffigan and Stephen Colbert, and they brought down the house. I could have watched an entire movie with Colbert's cracked out announcer baiting Jim Gaffigan, but hopefully there's more footage that will be released on DVD. There's also a moment with Myers being interviewed as himself as a spectator at the Leafs' game that was fuckin' fantastic. I won't ruin it here, but I'm sure you can guess who else he's being interviewed with. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm really struggling to justify and analyze just why the hell I enjoyed this movie. It's not a good movie at all, that's for sure. It's dumb in ways that kinda piss me off. And the characters are mostly annoying as hell. Myers' Guru really is a dumb character. Like, completely unlikeable, has no character development and you can't justify why anyone in their right mind would follow this guy's advice. Jessica Alba is bland as always, but luckily the romance between her and the Guru is downplayed greatly. Even the great Sir Ben Kingsley has yet again made a tragic mistake of taking the roll of the Guru's cross-eyed mentor. He goes from Ghandi to THIS? My how the great have fallen. I even felt bad or Vern Troyer, who had to suffer through way too many 'midget' jokes than I felt he should (although there is a scene in his office that was side-splitting). And don't get me started on Timberlake. He's hilarious whenever he doesn't open his mouth, but the second he attempts to talk with his faux French-Canadian accent it brings the whole flick to a screeching halt. Remember how funny Sacha Baron Cohen's accent in Talladega Nights was, simply because it was laughably bad? Yeah, well this one is just incomprehensible and they should seriously consider having it dubbed before the release. But despite these complaints, I still found it pretty damn funny. Like I said, it really is lowest common denominator humor. Not nearly as egregious and Meet the Spartans or Epic Movie, but condescending nevertheless. As a result, i kinda hate myself for liking this movie, but the fact is that I laughed a lot more than I expected myself to. And while there's no denying that the Guru character is probably the worst one Mike Myers has created (which is saying a lot), the flick is funny. It misses the mark a lot, but when that shit actually sticks, it hits the bullseye. Jersey Jedi P.S. Andy, the tool, was there again. He actually approached me and my friend about staying after. I don't know if he recognized me or what, but he ended up looking right at me, and then switched his gazed to the guys directly next to me and asked them if they wanted to stay. It's probably hubris thinking the guys would remember my face from so many weeks ago, but it was still interesting nevertheless. And he really needs to stop reading peoples scores of the movie aloud when he approaches them for the focus group after the screening. That's not cool embarrassing people just because for expressing their opinions. It's like walking out of a voting booth and having a speaker on the booth announce who you chose. Jerk.
Readers Talkback
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  • April 4, 2008, 6:49 a.m. CST

    first?

    by aelfinn

    ello

  • April 4, 2008, 6:55 a.m. CST

    Jersey,Jedi, next time Andy reads your score out loud...

    by Bobo_Vision

    ...just stab him in the heart with your pen, or a large concealed hunting knife.

  • April 4, 2008, 7:05 a.m. CST

    I'm sure you can guess who else he's being interviewed with.

    by GravitaZ

    Not really. Dr. Evil?

  • April 4, 2008, 7:24 a.m. CST

    Dana Carvey?

    by CreasyBear

  • April 4, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    Yep, if you put the two reviews together

    by Bobo_Vision

    The first one references a Wayne's World reference, and the second claims Myers is in the audience with another cameo, its clear its Carvey.

  • April 4, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    still holds no interest for me

    by filmcoyote

    although the second reviewer gives a glimmer of hope i don't think i'll bother with this one. Bring on Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder baby!

  • April 4, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Cant wait for Tropic Thunder

    by ingloriousjedi

    Looks awsome.

  • April 4, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    I would love to see a new Myers comedy

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I thoroughly enjoyed all three Austin Powers's, as well as both Wayne's Worlds and So I Married An Axe Murderer. Just lately, it's seemed like all he can be arsed to do is that horrible Shrek business, so I have my fingers crossed this is a return to form for him.<p>That Jessica Alba, though. Jesus, I don't know if I can do it any more. She is, no doubt, unstoppably gorgeous, but it's getting to the point that putting up with her 'acting' is too high a price to pay for gawping at her hotness. Isn't she pregant now? Maybe she'll go away for a while and then do Playboy once she's back in shape. That seems like it would be a smart career move for her. I, also, would enjoy it.

  • April 4, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    If Timberlake plays for Montreal....

    by GoSensGo

    ....then he should have a Russian accent, not French. Will there be cameos of actual Leaf players? Mats Sundin? Darcy Tucker? What? AICN talkbackers aren't a hockey crowd?

  • April 4, 2008, 9:09 a.m. CST

    Old references for the fans?

    by Mooly

    More like that's the one note Meyers has to rely on. The guy has been running on the same joke since SNL and probably even earlier. He just keep recylcing the same crap over and over and this movie looks and sounds no different. I predict it will flop and only the people who still think Austin Powers is funny will support it.

  • April 4, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    Am I the only one who sees it?

    by OBSD

    Mike Myers has been trying to be Peter Sellars since Austin Powers (in which he stole Sellars' Evelyn Tremble character from Casino Royale and made him 25% more 'wacky') and I for one am sick of it. Austin Powers 2 should have been called "LAUGH AT THE MIDGET: LAUGH, DAMN YOU, LAUGH!" Seriously, I need just a little more than a tired Peter Sellars-wannabe and some third-rate midget jokes to make me laugh. Call me when he does something equal to Sellars' worst stuff, but right now Myers isn't fit to wash Sellars' underwear.

  • April 4, 2008, 11:39 a.m. CST

    Guy he is being interviewed with has to be Dana Carvey!!!

    by CullenisPrime

    Please

  • April 4, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    Kanye West

    by Toonol

    That would be funny. Remember Myers standing next to him while he went of on his rant about Bush?

  • April 4, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST

    Colbert & Gaffigan

    by Bass Ackwards

    Man, I'd love to see a movie starring those two.

  • April 4, 2008, 12:34 p.m. CST

    Funny how the 2nd guy can't give credit to Mike Myers

    by Krinkle

    Because the sometimes-brilliant Myers is out-of-fashion, it seems that second review is at pains to seperate Myers from the parts of the film he enjoyed... and yet I imagine all the gags are Myers' work.

  • April 4, 2008, 1:20 p.m. CST

    Hulk happy that

    by welsh12uk

    Mike Myers didn't make superhero movie cuz Hulk's movie is going to suck compared to Batman and Iron Man and Hulk don't need no competition! Hulk cry, then SMASH!

  • April 4, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    I wouldn't check this one out for three reasons.

    by GQtaste

    Myers, Alba and the boy bander, Timberlake. Myers is a ripoff of Sellers and he's gotten quite rich off of it. His only good role was in that disco film, 54 where he played Stever Ruebell(sp?).

  • April 4, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Jessica Alba pregnant..

    by nolan bautista

    ..can you imagine cumming inside her? Good god..im dribbling right now just thinking about it

  • April 4, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    I still don't know

    by TVguy4566

    I still think Myers is one of the funniest guys to come out of SNL over the last 20 years (is that a compliment?), but it seemed like he is going to rehash a lot of jokes from the Austin Powers movie. The trailer had at least one or two including a different spin of the Fred Savage mole scene from Goldfinger. <br><br> Myers can be hilarious, but he is guilty of repeating jokes from movie to movie. When he is "on", he is one of the funniest guys in Hollywood, but he does get lazy at times. I guess it is no worse than Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler basically doing the same character in movie after movie just changing the venue. I mean how different is the Billy Madison character from the Waterboy or Little Nicky?

  • April 4, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    "MIddle-Aged Man" The Movie

    by The Winged Doucheman

    Make it happen Mike. Although Drinking buddy would have to be played by another funny fat guy.

  • April 4, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    i want an Austin Powers sequel

    by Prossor

    that doesn't rely on forced humor and pointless cameos plz.

  • April 4, 2008, 5:11 p.m. CST

    Sounds like Jersey Jedi needs to take some meds

    by rsswope

    Or maybe anger management classes. Why does AICN feed the Trolls?

  • April 4, 2008, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Response

    by JerseyJedi08

    OBSD, there were WAAAAY more offensive 'midget' jokes in this flick than the last 2 APs combined. <p> Toonol... ;) <p> rsswope, you try living here and NOT be on edge all the time. And I'm a troll because I posted 1 good review and 1 bad one? Uh-huh.

  • April 4, 2008, 7:47 p.m. CST

    Toonol, Myers references Kanye....

    by Bobo_Vision

    ...in his latest "LoveGuru" youtube video.

  • April 4, 2008, 7:57 p.m. CST

    mike myers always sucked

    by krycek08

    every movie , myers is the weakest character except maybe axe murderer

  • April 5, 2008, 12:32 a.m. CST

    TVguy4566...

    by TheBigLebowsky

    I agree with you that Myers gets lazy from time to time and repeats jokes, but at least he WRITES them! God knows I love Will Ferrell, and I did love Adam Sandler 10 years ago (more for his comedy albums and songs than his movies), but they generaly don't write the movies they're starring in. At least Myers is his own man.

  • April 5, 2008, 2:03 a.m. CST

    Jim Jim Gaffigan

    by ironburl

    I think Jim Jim Gaffigan is so so funny. Did you hear that Jim Jim may be up for the voice of Chim Chim in the speed racer movie?