I am – Hercules!!

Hollywood’s casting community is trying to find a guy to play Lee Adama’s lawyering grandpappy for “Caprica,” the pilot/TV-movie set half a century before Boomer discovered she was a Cylon.

Why are the Cylons so hot for a single god? A glimpse at the characters inhabiting “Caprica” may provide clues:

* DANIEL GRAYSTONE is literally the father of the Cylons, a fortysomething “spectacularly wealthy” computer designer.

* ZOE GRAYSTONE, Daniel’s hot 16-year-old daughter, dies in a suicide bombing. Daniel learns that Zoe – like iconic “Twin Peaks” dead teenager Laura Palmer – had many secrets. For one thing she was a closeted monotheist! For another, she was even more of a technological genius than daddy Daniel, and succeeded in secretly uploading her personality and DNA into a holographic avatar. Daniel comes to combine the Zoe avatar with stolen technology to create the first Cylon, “a robotic version of his dead daughter.” Oo!

* JOSEPH ADAMS, Bill Adama’s pop and Romo Lampkin’s future mentor, is a fortysomething Tauron native who long ago emigrated to Caprica and overcame anti-Tauron prejudice to become an influential defense attorney on the capital planet. Joseph’s wife and daughter (Bill’s mother and sister) die in the same blast that killed Zoe Graystone. Joseph Adams and Daniel Graystone, despite their very different backgrounds, are bonded by the tragedy. Adams, who still has “powerful ties to the Tauron crime underworld” helps Greystone create the first Cylon by stealing cutting-edge robotic technology from a Tauron computer developer.

* TAMARA ADAMS, Joseph’s dead daughter, may also be resurrected as a robot, but Joseph – much like the dad in Stephen King’s “Pet Sematary” – comes to regret his role in the Cylonic creations.

* AMANDA GRAYSTONE, Daniel’s thirtysomething wife, is a successful surgeon devastated by the loss of her beloved daughter Zoe.

* TOMAS VERGIS is Amanda Graystone’s Tauron ex-lover and one of her husband’s chief competitors. Following Zoe’s death, Amanda covertly returns to Vergis’ bed to learn more of the tech that might be used to resurrect her daughter.

* SISTER CLARICE WILLOW is another closeted monotheist and the headmistress of the Athena Academy, the polytheistic religious school Zoe attended. A product of colonial slums, the sister is presumably responsible for converting young Zoe into a monotheist.

* BEN STARK is Zoe’s unbalanced monotheist-fanatic boyfriend, the suicide bomber who kills, among many others, Zoe, Tamara, Bill Adama’s mom and himself in a horrific train bombing. He too secretly uploaded himself into a holographic avatar. But his can only be contacted by headmistress Willow.

* WILLIAM ADAMS, a dour 9-year-old introvert unaware of his Tauron heritage, is Joseph Adams’ sole surviving child. Like John Connor, he will prove humanity’s savior in a universe ruled by murderous robots.

Thanks to “The Monkey King” for the heads up!!

$35.49 PER SEASON!!!!