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‘Nobody Steals From Dracula!!’ Hercules Gives Many Stars To Drew Goddard’s Lesbitastic 2nd Issue Of BUFFY Season Eight!!
SPOILER ALERT !!
I am – Hercules!!
Some notes on Buffy: Season Eight #13, “Wolves at the Gate Part II,” script credited to TV vet Drew Goddard (“Buffy,” “Angel,” “Alias,” “Lost,” “Cloverfield”):
* A sequel to both the fifth-season opener, “Buffy Vs. Dracula,” AND a Goddard-scripted component of the Joss Whedon-supervised “Tales of the Vampires” collection, this new issue pleases me more than either prequel, which is saying something.
* We learn Dracula’s many powers include motorbiking and speed-cosmetology.
* There are many scenes featuring Drac, Renee (Xander's new favorite slayer) and a very antsy Xander. All are very gay and hilarious.
* Like many another really old guy, Dracula is not much at all for the political correctness, which makes for fabulous comedy.
* Andrew gives the slayers a lecture about Dracula. Also hilarious.
* We learn Buffy Inc. is so gigantic Ms. Summers still hasn’t met all the slayers in her employ.
* No gigantic Dawn this month, by the way, though Buffy’s plane looks big enough to ferry something Dawn-size. (Which would neatly explain the issue-14 “Godzilla” homage on the letters page.)
* Willow’s reaction to Buffy’s romantic encounter is interesting. Also hilarious. Joss, if you’re reading, Willow and Buffy sleeping together is not something I want; it’s something I need. Maybe something I need filmed.
BONUS!! HERC’S AICN COMICS ANNEX!!
We can’t call now the “golden age” of comics because the 1940s stole the name and won’t give it back – but make no mistake: This is a golden age of comics. Non-“Buffy” funnybook stuff I’m quite keen on:
“Kick-Ass” is about a skinny nerd who gets the shit kicked out of him when he puts on a superhero costume and decides to play Batman in bad neighborhoods. Issue two came out today and it’s already been optioned for the movies. It’s written by Mark Millar, who followed a spectacular 12-issue run on “The Authority” early in the decade by creating “The Ultimates,” “Ultimate Fantastic Four” and “Wanted.”
Millar is also writing maybe the best run of “Fantastic Four” (he started with issue 554) since Stan Lee left the book 900 years ago. It deals with what happens when Reed Richards’ hot supergenius college girlfriend starts re-creating the universe in another dimension. Buy these immediately.
Grant Morrison is hard at work on his Eisner-winning “All-Star Superman,” which I judge to be the best set of Clark Kent stories since Alan Moore slammed shut the book on Earth One’s Man of Steel in 1986. Only 10 issues of this all-star title have seen print since the series began in 2005, but they’re well worth the wait, full as they are of sparkly new takes on well-worn characters and situations. Issue 10, which hit shelves last week, is very sad, dealing with a dying Superman trying to take care of a lot of unfinished business. Artist Frank Quitely’s Lois Lane is an insanely sexy wench.
Morrison is the guy who oversaw the spectacular launch of “JLA” starring Plastic Man in 1997 and the equally spectacular “New X-Men” starring Emma Frost’s Cuckoos back in 2001. He has also served as the regular writer on the monthly “Batman” funnybook since since 655, and I candidly can’t remember the last time I so looked forward to new issues of that decrepit old DC warhorse.
Ultimates vets Bruce “The Hulk” Banner and Tony “Iron Man” Stark take on a big-brained British bureaucrat hot for their sci-fi DNA “stacks” in “Ultimate Human.” This is my favorite current thing from the amazing Warren Ellis, who created the greatness that is “The Authority,” “Planetary,” “Global Frequency,” “Orbiter,” “Ministry of Space,” “Jack Cross,” “Strange Killings,” “JLA: New Maps of Hell,” “Iron Man: Extremis,” and “newuniversal” as well as the upcoming continuation of “Astonishing X-Men,” among many many other things.
A 14-year-old Jim Shooter saw his first “Legion of Super-Heroes”
story published in 1966. He retired from the title in the 1970s, became a big-deal editor at Marvel for almost a decade, and he’s been away from the big comic-book companies for years. When he was hired at age 56 to return to “Legion” late last year, it smelled like the most gimmicky of lame gimmicky gimmicks. But Shooter is writing a funny, touching, character-rich, very not-‘70s 21st-century version of the one of my favorite titles – and it is somehow not hideously out of place against all the great Morrison, Ellis, Millar and Whedon comics we’ve been reading. I’m a little weirded-out at how much I enjoyed the launch of the “Enemy Rising” storyline and the way it focused on Lightning Lad Garth Ranzz and his surprisingly evolved management techniques and his frying of the HQ’s lightning-proof targets. It’s so good I forgot to miss Supergirl, who bolted the team just before Shooter came aboard. Start with the latest, issue 40, and see if it doesn’t leave you craving more.
I also continue to advise you, funnybook-wise, to seek out old copies of Jaime Hernandez’ “Love & Rockets,” Paul Chadwick’s “Concrete” and Adrian Tomine’s “Optic Nerve.”
Ultra-Cheap Buffy & Angel!!
$19.99: Individual Season Sets!!
$69.99: All Five “Angel Seasons!! ($14/Season!!)
$99.99: All Seven “Buffy” Seasons!! ($14.29/Season!!)
All Part Of The Big
TV SCI-FI/FANTASY SALE!!!!
CHEAPEST TREK EVER!!!!
EVERY season of
The Original Series
The Next Generation
Deep Space Nine
Voyager and
Enterprise:
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+ Expand All
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Just make it happen, Mr. Whedon.
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God this section is fucking useless these days. Oh, for the golden days when Glen ran the section and we got actual news and interesting articles instead of nothing but thinly veiled advertising...
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But I think there are ads on the IGN site too. If the Amazon links completely fuck up your day, you should maybe consider using an ad-free site for your entertainment news. They'll probably make you pay for a subscription or something I guess. Or you could just start an ad-free site of your own. I'm certain it would be much more popular than this one.
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Really, the ultimate in slash-y fanfic garbage. Also if Willow asking how Buffy was in bed isn't a "I'm freaked out by how I feel about this so I'm trying too hard to seem cool with it" kind of thing I think it's a little out of character.
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lesbOtastic?
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invented Zenith, Britain's greatest superhero! (after Maximan, that is).
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isn't 'sapphic' an even better word? unless, of course, you're playing scrabble.
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Apr 03, 2008 3:42:57 AM CDT
"10 issues have seen print since the series began in 2005"
by big dumb ape
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? Only 10 issues of All-Star Superman since 2005? I don't buy it, but to even read that just makes my jaw drop.You know, I used to love comics, but then I got out. Things just became too repetitive and tiresome and centered too much on lame marketing gimmicks and all sorts of other bullshit. Give me the sheer geeky fun of old Lee & Kirby comics over today's modern stuff any day. And you know, speaking of "only 10 issues since 2005", I also have many a friend who work in the comic book industry and they'll always bitch about how sales aren't what they used to be or they'll bemoan how comics keep losing more and more fans to video games and the Internet and everything else under the sun. At which point they'll pout and say, "I just don't get why the fans don't stick around more. Why don't more people want to read comics anymore?"Gee, here's a tip to Marvel, DC, Dark Horse, Image and every other publisher under the sun: you morons collectively put a stake in comics' heart big time when you stopped putting out product regularly and ON TIME, when the fans could actually count on hot books showing up to fuel the fires of interest, and instead started taking it up the ass from overly egotistical creators who started to act like cry-babies all because they were expected to meet an actual publishing deadline. I don't mind SOME books taking SOME extra time, but it just seems like these days more and more people in the comic industry want to thump their chest and say "I am an ARTISTE!" and then not actually DO their fucking job on time.So here's a business news flash for you: when you don't produce, people lose interest. Now, was that REALLY so hard to understand?
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It's more the fact that, in coaxial especially, the advertising either dictates the story, or every story seems to be wafer thin in content and just an excuse for a barrage of amazon links. My complaint is that coaxial lacks actual content. Truth is I do get my tv related news elsewhere, because god only knows I wouldn't get much if I just stuck around here.
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Buffy gets it on with another girl? Really?
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dude, if you'd read All-Star Superman, you'd be entirely happy to wait as long as it takes. like fine wine, it can't be rushed
seriously, if folk can wait x number of years between star wars sequels, surely you can hold your pee a few months between issues. it's not like there aren't enough other great comics to read while you're waiting.
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Puts that in a whole new light.
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Alyson Hannigan is hot. Almost hotter than Gellar.
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Anyone watch season 3 - sexual chemistry at its best!
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alternatively, fighting with pillows.
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Buffy gets it on with another girl!?
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another top issue. anyone else notice drac's red francis ford coppola armour?
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I guess I ain't "hip" or whatever...I have no idea what that sentence means.
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test
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Buffy is a Lez now, Willow is eager to have a go at her and Xander is ready to swing on Dracula's thing. This whole series is going (straight?) down the yellow brick road,
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and it still makes no fucking sense. Out of character totally and it was when they made Willow gay in the series too. As much as I loved Tara and was saddened by her death, Oz was still a better fit for Willow.
This whole "hip to be gay" thing is just plain stupid. And it's not making gays happy either. -
Ben is Glory?
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But what was worse is when the started acting like a forty year old lesbian housewife calling her lover "babe". For me, the worst part of this comic series was when they revealed that Warren was still alive, pretty much negating the impact of the whole "Dark Willow" story.
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Another issue of repeating scenes this time with Andrew. The Andrew scene was funny when I saw it the first time in season 7 but doing it again in comic form is lazy and lame.
Also the gay agenda being pushed down our throats is getting a tad rediculous and I wish that sexual preference didn't have to seap into ever issue.
How about an issue with Buffy and gang actually doing something monster fighting related. -
After Oz left Willow missed the feel of fur on her lips.
Oz and her lover both had really big tongues. -
I really liked the caring and mature relationship the developed between them, even if Willow and hr addiction sometime trained that ship. The way Tara died such a shock and surprise the way they did it, very jarring.
But really, making Buffy gay or bi out of nowhere and suggesting something the wings between her and Willow, starts to sound Steve Taylor from Coupling's writing this stuff. Of Jeffery. Total fan service and not in a good way. i was totally on board when they made Willow gay and even a little dissapointed when they didn't follow through on Adrews obvious orientation from seasons six and seven, I mean his whole treip to the dark side was because he was in to Warren. But this seems a little iffy. I haven't really followed the comicbook series so maybe their handling it better than it sounds. -
But really, how could he be? Those Italian Girls were probably Fembots or something.
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Damian, ya big dummy! It's the big one....Talia...I'm comin' to join ya honey! -
"Millar is also writing maybe the best run of “Fantastic Four” (he started with issue 554) since Stan Lee left the book 900 years ago."
That's just crazy. The FF have been poorly written for the last decade or two, so maybe Millar seems good by comparison... But nothing touches Byrne's run in the 80s. -
Kind of an unfair to compare 2 issues to the past few hundred or so.
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I meant extremely presumptuous
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I love when people say that. It's so....suggestive. And it's usually preceded by "I'm not homophobic, but..." Let's clear this up right now. 1) Buffy is not now gay. Joss has said so. She had an "experience." Sometimes people experiment. It doesn't mean they're gay. 2)god, will people stop overreacting to something that's merely a plot point and the opportunity for some fun and hilarious scenes. It's not some freakin' political statement. 3) there is no 'gay agenda.' Gays are not secretly looking to turn straight people gay. Gays do not run Hollywood. This point of view has been mocked so mercilessly, I can't believe people still have it. 4) Joss likes to push boundaries and mess with our expectations. This is no different.
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what about that episode of Buffy where they turned to the camera and denounced hetrosexuals everywhere? And followed it with the public service announcement inviting viewers to turn gay as soon as possible?
i'm pretty sure i remember that.
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Is this a character development, or part of some crazy-mosnter-of-the-week-who-turns-everyone-gay thing? or did she just drop some X?
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This has nothing to do with a gay agenda. It's actually ticking off the gay people I know who are Buffy fans because it's just for shock factor, and that's just stupid and unnecessary.
Joss can do better. -
Kudos for being one of the few human beings left in this world who has the brains and decency to remember that the term is 'couldN'T care less', and not simply 'could'. That kind of thing irks me almost as bad as saying 'should of'. Good show!
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Sucks to be you.
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It starts with a talent contest, then swim-wear, then evening wear.
And if you get someone inexperienced to "experiment" with you you win a toaster. -
if u want to experiment do it with a Petrie dish. Willow becoming gay after oz came out of nowhere. Now buffy ? just plain stupid.
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she fell in love with Tara, and realized she had been playing on the wrong team the whole time. Granted, it was a weak retcon. I wish they could have acknowledged that Willow was bi instead of just claiming a lesbian identity, but I guess just calling her a lesbian kept things simple for the WB audience.
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In "Dopplegangland", Willow said of her vampire self, "I think I'm kinda gay". When Buffy tried to convince her that it was just a demon "thing", Angel began to say it actually wasn't - vampires retain some previous human characteristics but he then trailed off because they all started looking at him funny.
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Petrie dishes are for scum (see mirror)
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It won't help much, if it all... so far this "season" is the "show"s worst.
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But Doppleganger Willow was still hanging out with Doppleganger Xander and not Doppleganger Amy.
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Evil people are often mistaken for being gay. Sir Guy of Grisborne in Robin Hood, for example. Just because he was suave and polite, people thought he was a screaming queen, but he wanted to get into Maid Marians pants as much as anyone,
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She was "kinda gay". Vampire!Willow played with Puppy (Angel) but also introduced her "Hands! Hands on bad places" to Willow, so I don't think there was a preference. With Tara, Scooby!Willow found out that she did.
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Because Herc put up an article for the Buffy comic as a television episode review, and then he puts the Buffy comic in the comic reviews.
Choose. I don't need twice the Buffy news, thanks. Either put it in TV reviews, or put it in comic reviews. Please don't do both just because you have a Buffy obsession.
The rest of the comics news is good stuff, though. Thanks for that. -
The lesbian thing was much more interesting when Marvel was doing it in the 1980s with Mystique and Destiny, and it was done in the most fan-grabbing way with Xena.
Whedon's just borrowing, as usual, to gain attention and shock value. -
I don't understand your troll logic. I realize at this point I should - because you continue to do it over and over and over and over. I think Joss Whedon must have personally pissed off your gothy self (and you are a *true* goth; not like those wannabes nowadays). Perhaps you should be pissed at Dewey, whose decimal system you are such a slave of.
Then again, maybe you are just doing it for the "attention and the shock value". If so: Irony is the new punny. @ -
Gay sells.
Dikes sell even better.
Lets sell some comics.
Buffy gayin it up wasn't a natural progression for the character. It was done, so we still discuss it months later. Hey, look, it worked. That's your gay agenda.
If I was the gay community, I would be pissed off that people are selling stuff by promoting my sexual preferences. All the other communities would think I'm an attention whore. (Well, as far as communities go, the gay one IS kind of an attention whore, but that's another issue)
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!!!Made you look!!!
I guess that makes you gay now.∞ -
Who in what huh? Dawnie boffing a thricwise and becoming a giantess was something in your scope of things but Buff getting a little pink tickle in a dormatory *full* of females is a reach??
This TB is like opposite land....
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Apr 04, 2008 9:23:02 AM CDT
I thought the straight Andrew in agel was a total cop out
by crichtonastronut
after seeing his character in Buffy seasons 6 and seven. When I first saw Angel Season 5 which was before watching Buffy 6 or 7 it didn't bother me. But then I saw ow central it was to his character and the choices he made including killing his other best friend and I had to agree with someone else on a review or post that said it was a cop out.
As for Buffy, that seems so out of left field that it just seems like a gimmick more to get attention than to develope the character. The gay or bi thing on Torchwood gets a lot of flack but there it's just part of who Jack and Ianto are, it's not pruient or joke it's just an aspect of their characters and always has been. With Willow too, it was a character development that lead to her becoming a more assertve and self possessed character. And also to a great tragedy that drove her over the edge. -
In my opinion, of course. The crowning moment for me was when he said that Timothy Dalton was the best James Bond ever - and he should beat Sean Connery over the head with an Oscar. That was way gay. Awesome gay. He was totally the prettiest Bond ever.
D -
Not every comic is a monthly. All Star Superman comes out every three months, without fail. Which was the plan from the start. Don't complain about "oh I can't read this because it's not regular" please. Yes, we know Quitely is a notoriously slow artist but what he and Grant have delivered is the absolute best of their career so far. I'd rather wait those extra two months between issues if the finished product is going to be the absolute best and have such time and care put into it. You're doing yourself a diservice by not checking it out for such a bogus reason. If you want to complain about late, complain about Age of Bronze, it seems to be so lovingly researched, each issue take about s half a year to come out.
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gotta eat pussy that is
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