Hey folks, Harry here... This review frightens me. Seriously. DAY OF THE DEAD was my least favorite of the original Romero trilogy - though it had the absolute best make-up work... seriously - some amazing work. That said - this early review by Captain Chad is just not very hopeful... here ya go...
Hi Harry, I'm a long time fan of the site, and this is my first attempt at a contribution. I just got done watching the Steve Miner remake of Day of the Dead, and felt compelled to put together this review and send it in. I know your site has had a review or two up for this movie already, but after viewing an advanced copy of the film, and yes it was the finished product, and seeing some growing hype surrounding alot of the new publicity shots and posters recently released, I felt compelled to try and convey just how truely horrible this celluloid monstrosity is..both as a zombie film in general, and most importantly as a supposed remake of a George A. Romero classic. First and foremost, if you are a true Romero enthusiast, and had any problems at all with any of the changes Zach Snyder made in Dawn of the Dead, don't go within 100 feet of the Day of the Dead. This film bares no resemblance at all to Romero's original. It maintains a few characters, such as the super Army asshole Rhoades, and it's own interpretation, and i use that loosely, of the quintessential zombie that is "Bub". One of the most widely circulated pieces of material for this movie is the DVD artwork of the zombie head spewing green..um, spew all over the place. This is the only part of the movie that was dead on, after watching just the first fifteen minutes, it made me so sick I wanted to upchuck. Abandoned is the setting of an underground Army bunker used for research in domesticating and understanding the zombies. This film takes place mostly in a small town hospital, where a zombie epidemic has broken out. Of course, the military is called out, with Captain Rhoades, played by Ving Rhames, and Corporal Cross, played by Mena Suvari in tow. Shortly there after we are introduced to Nick Cannon's character, a young Army Private, who's name I cannont remember at the time, as I was focusing on holding back the latter mentioned upchuck. We are also introduced to a recent enlistee, who has a little bit of a puppy dog, high school crush going on with Mena Suvari's character. In all honesty I can't remember the characters name, but in the end that's not important. What is important is that this character will very soon become the zombie icon known as "Bub". However, the comparisons stop there. I'll get to that in just a bit though. I don't want to give away too much of the movie, as I'm sure regardless of what I say, people are still going to want to see it, and I assume want some element of surprise going in. What I will say is this, Captain Rhoades, the true villain of the original DotD, and a pivotal role in that film, is reduced the equivalent of a cameo. I truely believe the only reason this character was written in to this script at all was so that they could lure Ving Rhames in to it, and add some kind of star power to this garbage. It's a real shame, because Vingh is such a tremendous actor, and was my favorite character in the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Here, is in no way the Captain Rhoades of the original, a fatal mistake in the overall plot of this film, and a damn waste of Rhames abilities as an actor. Mena Suvari is our heroine of the film, embodied in the character of Corporal Cross. Now, i give credit to Mena, she is definately a competent actress, but she is horribly miscast here. It is simply hard to suspend enough belief to believe that she is the true badass that we are supposed to believe she is. The script doesn't really hand her anything to work with either, except for cliche after cliche, and tedious line after line. At no real point is there anything of substance introduced to this character to make us care if she lives or dies. Nic Cannon fills in as our resident male hero. He's the tough talking, ass kicking solider of the film. Problem is, the tough talking, is down right fucking lame...and the ass kicking..sorry you can't convince me your a badass when your best known work had you banging on drums...but then again maybe that's just me. Now....let me get to the true travesty of this film, the thing that truely made me detest this film more than anything i could possibly imagine. It is my personal opinion that the character of Bub truely helped give the original Day of the Dead it's heart, and provided with the not only the most appealing character, but the most sympathetic as well. It was an amazing idea to introduce the idea of a member of the undead acting on residual memories...it's what ultimately allowed Bub to be the hero of that film. In this adapatation.."Bub" becomes "Bub" nearly midway into the movie. However, in this film, he is still in love with Suvari's character, and will basically do anything she says. But most importantly, he serves as the foil of Nic Cannon's character, and ultimately becomes nothing more than a punch line. I guess the writers thought that having Nic Cannon constantly harrassing "Bub" would solidify him as a badass, and ultimately draw sympathy for "Bub". Well, it doesn't happen, and Cannon's character simply comes off looking like the cliche asshole that every horror film seems to have. Oh, and I'm sure you've already read it in other reviews..but Spider-Man zombies...yeah Spider-Man zombies. At one point in the film it's basically an undead wire works extravaganza. I can live with the idea of high speed zombies, but zombies crawling across the ceiling...give me a fucking break. However, in the end the true blame goes soley on the shoulders of Steve Miner. You would think that someone like George A. Romero, who has been such an instrumental figure, and icon not only in establishing the zombie genre, but in horror in general, could be shown more respect than this. What Miner has done, has simply bought the rights to the name, not because he wanted to really do something with Day of the Dead, but because he wanted to fly George A. Romero's name on the top of his posters, hoping Romero loyalists would take the bait and overlook the fact that Miner made this rectal wort on the ass of zombie cinema. Steve Miner owes George A Romero an apology of unprecedented magnitude. I beg everyone to stay as far away from this film as is humanly possible. Watching something like this can do only one thing, and that's cause loss of faith in the film industry. Pick up a copy of Forever Dead, Automaton Transfusion, or Dead Rising...they are by no means classics..but they are at least the products of young talent trying something fresh, instead of raping something old. Steve Miner, to take a line from the original Day of the Dead. When it comes to any single dollar you make from this film..."CHOKE ON 'EM....CHOKE ON 'EM!!!" Review contributed by Captain Chad..the Angry Amish Chicken Plower
