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Captain Chad volunteers to see the DAY OF THE DEAD remake...
SPOILER ALERT !!
Hey folks, Harry here... This review frightens me. Seriously. DAY OF THE DEAD was my least favorite of the original Romero trilogy - though it had the absolute best make-up work... seriously - some amazing work. That said - this early review by Captain Chad is just not very hopeful... here ya go...
Hi Harry,
I'm a long time fan of the site, and this is my first attempt at a contribution. I just got done watching the Steve Miner remake of Day of the Dead, and felt compelled to put together this review and send it in. I know your site has had a review or two up for this movie already, but after viewing an advanced copy of the film, and yes it was the finished product, and seeing some growing hype surrounding alot of the new publicity shots and posters recently released, I felt compelled to try and convey just how truely horrible this celluloid monstrosity is..both as a zombie film in general, and most importantly as a supposed remake of a George A. Romero classic.
First and foremost, if you are a true Romero enthusiast, and had any problems at all with any of the changes Zach Snyder made in Dawn of the Dead, don't go within 100 feet of the Day of the Dead. This film bares no resemblance at all to Romero's original. It maintains a few characters, such as the super Army asshole Rhoades, and it's own interpretation, and i use that loosely, of the quintessential zombie that is "Bub".
One of the most widely circulated pieces of material for this movie is the DVD artwork of the zombie head spewing green..um, spew all over the place. This is the only part of the movie that was dead on, after watching just the first fifteen minutes, it made me so sick I wanted to upchuck.
Abandoned is the setting of an underground Army bunker used for research in domesticating and understanding the zombies. This film takes place mostly in a small town hospital, where a zombie epidemic has broken out. Of course, the military is called out, with Captain Rhoades, played by Ving Rhames, and Corporal Cross, played by Mena Suvari in tow. Shortly there after we are introduced to Nick Cannon's character, a young Army Private, who's name I cannont remember at the time, as I was focusing on holding back the latter mentioned upchuck. We are also introduced to a recent enlistee, who has a little bit of a puppy dog, high school crush going on with Mena Suvari's character. In all honesty I can't remember the characters name, but in the end that's not important. What is important is that this character will very soon become the zombie icon known as "Bub". However, the comparisons stop there. I'll get to that in just a bit though. I don't want to give away too much of the movie, as I'm sure regardless of what I say, people are still going to want to see it, and I assume want some element of surprise going in.
What I will say is this, Captain Rhoades, the true villain of the original DotD, and a pivotal role in that film, is reduced the equivalent of a cameo. I truely believe the only reason this character was written in to this script at all was so that they could lure Ving Rhames in to it, and add some kind of star power to this garbage. It's a real shame, because Vingh is such a tremendous actor, and was my favorite character in the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Here, is in no way the Captain Rhoades of the original, a fatal mistake in the overall plot of this film, and a damn waste of Rhames abilities as an actor.
Mena Suvari is our heroine of the film, embodied in the character of Corporal Cross. Now, i give credit to Mena, she is definately a competent actress, but she is horribly miscast here. It is simply hard to suspend enough belief to believe that she is the true badass that we are supposed to believe she is. The script doesn't really hand her anything to work with either, except for cliche after cliche, and tedious line after line. At no real point is there anything of substance introduced to this character to make us care if she lives or dies.
Nic Cannon fills in as our resident male hero. He's the tough talking, ass kicking solider of the film. Problem is, the tough talking, is down right fucking lame...and the ass kicking..sorry you can't convince me your a badass when your best known work had you banging on drums...but then again maybe that's just me.
Now....let me get to the true travesty of this film, the thing that truely made me detest this film more than anything i could possibly imagine.
It is my personal opinion that the character of Bub truely helped give the original Day of the Dead it's heart, and provided with the not only the most appealing character, but the most sympathetic as well. It was an amazing idea to introduce the idea of a member of the undead acting on residual memories...it's what ultimately allowed Bub to be the hero of that film. In this adapatation.."Bub" becomes "Bub" nearly midway into the movie. However, in this film, he is still in love with Suvari's character, and will basically do anything she says. But most importantly, he serves as the foil of Nic Cannon's character, and ultimately becomes nothing more than a punch line. I guess the writers thought that having Nic Cannon constantly harrassing "Bub" would solidify him as a badass, and ultimately draw sympathy for "Bub". Well, it doesn't happen, and Cannon's character simply comes off looking like the cliche asshole that every horror film seems to have.
Oh, and I'm sure you've already read it in other reviews..but Spider-Man zombies...yeah Spider-Man zombies. At one point in the film it's basically an undead wire works extravaganza. I can live with the idea of high speed zombies, but zombies crawling across the ceiling...give me a fucking break.
However, in the end the true blame goes soley on the shoulders of Steve Miner. You would think that someone like George A. Romero, who has been such an instrumental figure, and icon not only in establishing the zombie genre, but in horror in general, could be shown more respect than this. What Miner has done, has simply bought the rights to the name, not because he wanted to really do something with Day of the Dead, but because he wanted to fly George A. Romero's name on the top of his posters, hoping Romero loyalists would take the bait and overlook the fact that Miner made this rectal wort on the ass of zombie cinema. Steve Miner owes George A Romero an apology of unprecedented magnitude.
I beg everyone to stay as far away from this film as is humanly possible. Watching something like this can do only one thing, and that's cause loss of faith in the film industry. Pick up a copy of Forever Dead, Automaton Transfusion, or Dead Rising...they are by no means classics..but they are at least the products of young talent trying something fresh, instead of raping something old.
Steve Miner, to take a line from the original Day of the Dead. When it comes to any single dollar you make from this film..."CHOKE ON 'EM....CHOKE ON 'EM!!!"
Review contributed by Captain Chad..the Angry Amish Chicken Plower
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just make one of these?
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This is the same one I read about before. I saw the chance to post first and just went stupid for a minute...
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That's a mouthful.
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Ain't It Cool that we've got some direct to video news for you?
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JOKING, joking.
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...and much of what I expected. Steve Miner may be plunging the fecals-spewing toilet that is horror remakes, but I still look back on "Warlock" as the only thing he has directed that I actually liked.
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PLANT
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I even saw a listing for it on Amazon a few months ago. Everything I've heard about this suggests that it's not worth a theatrical release.
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i saw it a while ago, i didnt bother writing in because i honestly thought no one cared about this movie anymore. I thought it was already seen as a joke, i didnt realise anyone needed anymore assurance that this movie sucks dick. ving rhames can act, we have all seen him act, same with mean suvari, but some how this director managed to get the worst performance out them. this movie isnt in the same league and zack synders dawb remake, this movie isnt even as good as SAWIV, which i hated. i received a review copy on dvd a while back, and i honeslty thought that they were aiming for straight to dvd release. but honeslty this isnt as good as most std movies id seen, the level of quality is best compared to return of the living dead 4 and 5 that were made for the sci fi channel. so if i was allowed to put a quote on the dvd cover id put "slightly better then return of the living dead 4 amd 5"
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Can I just ask what the fuck is going on with the movie business right now? There have been some really great films lately, don't get me wrong. However, with absolute filth like Dungeon Siege and the recent DotD remake, I question the sanity of some of the filmmakers today. Some of these choices are so obviously wrong (like casting Nick cannon as the protagonist in the remake of a classic zombie movie) that it baffles me. Who seriously thought that would work or connect with old fans in any way at all? This could have been something pretty cool, and the director had no reason to completely ignore the original material except out of his own sheer stupidity. What an absolute mess. I am not even touching this cop-out loser bull shit. Zach Snyder, we need your next zombie remake already!
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I downloaded a DVD screener of this MONTHS ago...it sucked then and unless they decided to self the whole thing and re-release Citizen Kane under the title Dawn of the Dead, it's still gonna suck. If ANYONE liked this movie, I am more than certain you are a total clown. That's not "hatin'"...that's reality, baby!
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It's hard to even call it a bad movie because it's hardly even a movie. It's not funny bad or interesting bad, it's just worthless. If you bother watching it you will hate every god damn element of it and then you will forget it exists the next day. Don't worry about it. It's a damn shame but life will go on and as long as you don't switch to the Sci-Fi Channel you will be safe.
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yeh im with you, i was stunned that the movie poster was news, then blown away that a new review was even posted. it was a great review btw,
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thats what i said about the scifi channel, it looks like it came from there.
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but considering how now a-days any piece of rectal shit is thrown out by the broken system that is the Hollywood movie industry...i would not be surprised if there are some retards out there who like this movie, and by that i mean people with mental problems somewhere who when watching this dont really understand what they are seeing, people who drool and laugh at paint drying, i bet it was that kind of audience testing Steve Miner did for this shit fest.
Well what can we really say or do? until the Hollywood system changes theres nothing that can be done...the so called "1st world" cinema system is now reliant on small independent films and remaking films from around the world (in some cases ones that aren't even a year old). Ironic that my top 5 fives of this year have so far been from the "rd world" cinema...hey Hollywood...wake the fuck up and do something else instead of crappy remakes. -
Not bad. In this version Bud is a docile zombie because in life he was a vegetarian. I'm not shittin' ya.
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Bub made that original movie. Give that zombie a job. Bub as Meg Ryans love intrest!! Do it! Do it now!
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Damn you Michael Bay
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Everyone who wanted to see it already has thanks to torrents and whatnot. I'll say it again: the only good thing about this movie is Tyler Bates' score and I have no clue why he agreed to do this shitfest.
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Is the shit
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I'm an hour and a bit in; dear sweet baby jesus it's truly awful on any and every level.
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This is *exactly* like one of the films from those, but some soft fucker actually made it.
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Really, did anyone think this would be good?
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This morning I got a text off a friend telling me he'd seen this and it was "actually pretty good", I was curious and downloaded the screener, now I've seen it I have one less friend (I'm kidding I assume he was winding me up!).... One things for sure though Romero needs to get his name off the posters for this piece of shit.
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At least for the next ten years. Give us all some time to breathe. Or even better, HBO should get the rights to Robert Kirkman's The Walking Dead and turn it into the brilliant tv series it's meant to be.
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It was, as has been pointed out, reviewed last year, horribly badly as well. Worst film of all time, don't waste your time. And i'm impressed that the reviewer could keep typing such a detailed review, even with the blood flowing from his eyes as he remembered how fucking awful this wretched piece of shite is. Please stop featuring reviews of this film, you're promoting it, you fools.
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...but I'm still always drawn to these movies to see if I can overcome this weird night terror thing.
Anyway...I'm a NEW Dawn of The Dead fan...but from the trailer...this thing looks like a huge turd. -
Millhouse says "My mom says I'm cool." It just doesn't make it so. Great review. Now I know to avoid this like the plague. No Bub, and no Rhoades (unless you count these lame copies) equals no movie.
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If it was a straight to DVD affair then its okay, not good but overall its just not that great a film. The special effects and general feel of it reminded me constantly of the Australian film UnDead. And they had a much smaller budget.
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its a movie to just have fun with. If you look at it as a remake then yes its a piece of shit. Its really only connected by name only. For a mindless, fucking gory zombie movie then it does deliver. Besides the undercranking I really enjoyed the gore and ferocity of the zombies in the movie. Definitely worth watching if you are a zombie freak.
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Can people please stop revering this guy? I enjoyed NotLD and I also kind of like LotD (yeah, I said that), but he is a one-note director who puts VERY OBVIOUS "subtext" and "social commentary" into his mediocre films. Give me a break. Honestly, I want all of those referring to the original version of this movie as a classic to go back and re-watch it. Just watch the fucking movie and tell me how awesome it is. I bet you can't.
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The guy created the fucking genre. Of course he'll be revered as a master of horror. DAY has solidified its place as one of the great horror films of all time.
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The original DotD is not my favourite of the Romero zombie films but its 10 times better than this! I think I will re-watch the original later to wipe the memory of this version from my mind.
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You're being ridiculous dude. People love his movies because they're into something that you're not. Making them rewatch a movie they love will only make them say "Man, I love that movie!" not "The robot guy on the internet was right, I only thought I loved that movie but actually it is mediocre!" Romero fans HAVE rewatched DAY OF THE DEAD because they rewatch all of the Dead movies a couple times a year. I know this because I am one of them. I watched DAY the next day after I saw DIARY OF THE DEAD and this remake, and it renewed my faith. In fact it's a movie that gets better over time and over multiple viewings, so your challenge there is exactly wrong.
If Romero is "mediocre" then please point me to other directors who have made movies like NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, DAWN OF THE DEAD, KNIGHTRIDERS, MARTIN, etc. People still revere him because he is a true original and nobody has really matched him in what he does. -
You took the words right out of my mouth, Vern. I've written extensively on this site in the past about the original "Day of the Dead".
I've finally come to the conclusion that people who don't understand the classic "Day of the Dead" are young people who have grown up only knowing action movies with super-fast edits, and CGI, and Marilyn Manson on the soundtrack. -
I never saw the big deal with Romero either. I don't think he's particularly subtle, and I find his films to be downright boring at times. It's not that I want all action, it's just that his characters don't interest me in the slightest. And characters are the most important thing for me. But to each his own, right?
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Steve Miner was a hired gun.
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for the dead movies (DAWN in particular) has grown existentially from when I first discovered them. DAY is my personal favorite because I think it's just a perfect zombie film. Romero is a legend because there's no denying the magnitude of the suffocating nightmare that he enthralled us into with the DEAD series. LIVING DEAD was a non stop, no hope, free for all of terror from start to finish. There was no where you could go to escape the horror. (characters and audience alike)
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exactly, when you said "Romero is a legend because there's no denying the magnitude of the suffocating nightmare that he enthralled us into with the DEAD series." That is exactly why those movies are untouchable. The original "Day of the Dead" in particular is possibly the most claustrophobic, bleak, apocalyptic horror movie ever made.
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Day of The Dead is one of my favourite movies, Recently cried at how shit Diary was but i bet it's a 100 times better than this pish!Ceiling zombies!? WTFck!?
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