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Tommy Terror looks at 9 Gay Themed Films and THE PHANTOM MENACE
Ok, first off, I will be merciless in my banning if you get out of line in Talk Back, or hateful or intolerant... Tommy Terror here is coming in with a big dose of what is up in the air with the gay film scene. He's gay, and he's happy too. Tommy is politically incorrect and some may find him quite offensive, but... you know what? I have warned you. Leave now. Don't come complaining to me about it. Tommy also got a look at THE PHANTOM MENACE, through a rather... ummmm... compromising fashion, and he comments on it as well. And he loved it. So, be cool, be tolerant and get ready cause Tommy Terror is back with a full on run of info...
TOMMY TERROR's queer take on nine new gay films, oh yeah, and THE PHANTOM
MENACE.
Hey there, Homo Sapiens!
I - I - I whored myself for Star Wars!!!! (hmmm, that could make a cool
T-shirt - or maybe simplified as "STAR WARS WHORE" - plastered on my chest
like some scandalous scarlet letter). And y'all think you're so devoted
waiting in line, buying all those Jedi boy toys, scouring the web in an
obsessive Force-fucking frenzy… Well, I'm such a desperate geek that I
actually promised a blowjob as a joke to a big reviewer (BIG reviewer) if he
could get me on the list for the press screening, and lo and be-ho'd he
eagerly came through so to speak. Just how low would you go for a sneak peak
AT HISTORY? I had to go down on the dude… and for what? What could really be
worth all the lame shame, the gravity of depravity, the acidity of his
flaccidity? THE PHANTOM MENACE is what, I woulda taken it up the butt from
Jabba the Hutt (and I'm a pitcher, not a catcher). And you know what? THIS -
MOVIE - IS - A - GLORIOUS - EXHILARATING - TRIUMPH!!!! - and well-worth
sucking up all the negative press.
Butt first, here’s nine more fag or fag-friendly flicks for the
hetero-apocalypse - another wave of gay that could make the sacrificed martyr
cum twice. Release dates are always slippery, take 'em with a heaping handful
of KY Jelly (KY? Because we like you!). So let's have a lookie-loo at what's
on the gay agenda for spring:
HEAD ON - (August 13 Release in NY & LA)
The best of the new batch - this is a raw, gritty, well-acted film following
Ari, a fucked-up Greek stud as he gets fucked and fucked up. Perhaps the best
scenes are all familial - Greek culture has never seemed so completely,
passionately, perfectly portrayed. Ari's controlling father is from the
old-school and the abyss between their lifestyles is a simple catastrophe
that's illuminated rather than exploited by director Ana Kokkinos. I couldn't
believe afterwards that a woman directed this script about a sleazy gay guy's
drug use and anonymous encounters and massive identity complex. If it sounds
too dark and intimidating, it's not - there's little nudity and the drug use
is just a symptomatic fact of life here, rather than glamorized coolness or a
moral lesson. HEAD ON captures that crunch you feel when your very being
clashes with your family's values.
TRICK - (July 23 Release)
The worst piece of spewed wretch - this is an amateurish, annoying
gaysploitation flick that glibly pays lip-synch service to the worst fag film
festival culture has to offer. (I din't like it.) Opening with terribly
recorded, cheesy, affected piano bar music and sentimental shots of Manhattan
at dawn with those tacky orange skies like a tourist postcard, TRICK is
promoted like a queer AFTER HOURS with 2 fags encountering all sorts of
adventures as they search for a simple place to fuck for the night, but the
only excitement this depthless pruritanical propraganda can muster is hearing
fag-hag Tori Spelling say the word "motherfucker", which is admittedly a
slight thrill. This film is definitely geared to the puppy-love crowd with
it's delusional brand of gay romanticism. The problem largely lies with the
lead pretty boy who offers nothing in the way of an inner life except freaky
neuroses and obviously pink frosted lips with mascara. He's so effete he'd
make Audrey Hepburn look butch. And we’re supposed to blindly identify with
this bland white bread protagonist and laugh at the supposed weirdness of the
guys who try to pick him up at a gay bar: one dude has a boyfriend at home
and is looking for a threeway (can you say ‘freak’!), another is an ex-gogo
dancer who’s born-again (Omigod!?), and yet another is… middle-aged (ewwww -
the nerve!!!) His new relationship with a muscled gogo boy is completely
implausible, and they've only got scripted chemistry between them. The
supposed proof of the gogo stud's true affection is that (SPOILER) he really
did give this nancy priss-ass his real phone number, discovered in the last
shot when nancy priss-ass calls his machine and hangs up as it beeps, singing
and skipping into the horizon. They might try to call that love, but I call
it stalking. The singing, by the way, is repeated throughout the film - a
pugnacious, repellant ditty called "Enter You" that is sung in all musical
theater earnestness so many times that it rang hellishly in my head for days.
It was so painful I just wanted to punch everyone I saw in the face as I left
the theater, and I'm not normally aggressive because, well, I'm so very weak.
Talk about films promoting violence.
JEANNE AND THE PERFECT GUY - (June Release, but already pushed back 5 times!)
Perfect fodder for french-bashers, this is an ungodly mutation of THE
UMBRELLAS OF CHERBOURG with XANADU and maybe a little MELROSE PLACE for that
definitive je ne sais quoi. This is a french musical about a promiscuous
Parisian girl who falls in love with her presumed perfect guy after meeting
him and instantly having sex on the subway. Ooh la la, sounds serious. The
girl's a cute Hello Kitty-type vixen played by Virginie Ledoyen who's
currently shooting THE BEACH with Leonardo DiCaprio. The story gets pretty
heavy with gay guys singing about losing lovers to AIDS, an ACTUP march, and
a not-so-surprising dark secret that the perfect guy has to hide, but
throughout goofy musical numbers keep popping up unexpectedly bearing all the
weight of laundry detergent commercials. I musta played the first scene of my
screener copy about 30 times already for any friend that stops by - it is
HILARIOUS. Janitors appear from nowhere and sing about the economy while
dancing like Jerry Lewis with an itchy ass all set to the frothiest French
pop imaginable - indescribably silly. And as bad as it gets, it is soooo
infectious. When I was in college I had a neighbor who sang godawful nasal
opera all day long which drove me crazy, so I got the worst music I could
think of - XANADU - and blasted it into the bathroom shaft at full volume as
psychological warfare. Within a few days I was so loving that album, and now
I'm still somewhat of a glutton for shallow punishment. JEANNE is just worth
the watch only to revel in the shocking travesty of it all.
THE ADVENTURES OF SEBASTIAN COLE - (July Release?)
Adrien Grenier has stepped off the pages of Seventeen to pose for you while
dressed in 80's fashion, while riding his bike through school, while fighting
with his transexual guardian, while bleeding profusely at the film's intro
from some unknown adventure. The single thrill this film has to offer is that
its lead is so unbelievably attractive - his beauty is brainwashing and if I
hadn't taken a bathroom break I might never have broken its spell. My sister,
as it was, came away breathlessly moaning "He's sooo beautiful", overlooking
the lack of sense, or storyline, or significance. Wounded and wandering in
the desert, Sebastian flashes back to the preceding events which meander
aimlessly around an 18-year-old's psychological wasteland. Well, duh - wasted
youth, been there, done that. We want blood! All we get is teen model.
BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE - (Soon Release)
This lesbian confection is a bit precious, and, uh, that's about it. Pretty
forgettable, but likable enough. Oh, a kinda conservative and closeted lesbo
with a MASSIVE dildo collection falls in love with a tomboy sketch artist the
day that her recently single overbearing mother and curious brother arrive to
live with her. If you can deal with the transexual who stammers like some
speed-infested Saturday Night Live sketch, but whose Cabaret song "I Am Not A
Fucking Drag Queen" is rather droll, then you can deal with the drama of
another goddam homosexual coming out story. This one's lighter than most, if
that's a good thing for you.
FINDING NORTH - (June 4 Release)
A wholly contrived plot concerning a Brooklyn bank teller who sees a suicidal
naked guy on a bridge who loses his shoe that she brings to a wake at his
apartment after he shows up at her bank and she mistakes him for a stripper
who she hires out of desperation for her 30th birthday that provokes her to
fall in love with the suicidal guy who starts receiving audio cassettes in
the mail from his dead boyfriend who instructs him to go to Texas, and, you
know, she goes along for protection. And that's just the beginning. Oy,
luckily the lead actors are really great and make the misdirected material
manageable. Wendy Makkena (SISTER ACT) takes her THE NANNY stereotype
character and works wonders with throwaways, and John Benjamin Hickey (LOVE,
VALOUR, COMPASSION!) is compellingly charismatic for such a mensch. The
script runs out of steam, but it'll make a nice demo tape edited down. The
side characters are out of control, but the WELCOME TO THE DOLLHOUSE mom, an
invasive waiter, and a set of waitress twins named Ethel and Bethel are
hilarious.
THE KING OF MASKS (BIAN LIAN) - (May 21 Release)
THE KING OF MASKS is a Chinese film about three misfits who are bound
together by gender-bending politics of the 1930's. Old Wang, an uptight
travelling performer who performs AMAZING split-second transformations in the
art of mask magic, is sought after for his stage secrets by the lonely,
effeminate Master Liang, a popular transvestite opera performer worshipped as
the Living Bodhisattva. But Wang refuses, the tradition is solely reserved
for a male heir. Along comes Doggie, an excitable young boy encountered
amongst all the unwanted girls up for sale by desperate parents in dark
alleys. Everything Wang could want in an apprentice - everything except dick
for this boy is really a girl, sending Wang into a penis frenzy. Though the
film's a little presentational at times, the lead performances are fairly
heart rending and the scenes of Chinese fireworks and river life and
cross-dressed culture are pretty fantastic.
BESEIGED (L'ASSEDIO) - (May 21 Release)
Bernardo Bertolucci's latest is an affected and ambivalent affair about three
characters in Italy, with Thandie Newton (BELOVED) as a housemaid whose
husband has been arrested by African militia, David Thewliss (NAKED) as an
eccentric pianist who falls in love with her, and Claudio Santamaria as
Thandie's sexy gay best friend who's really just there as the token
cliché-du-jour. The Italian master has forgone the profundity of early works
like THE CONFORMIST for a meditated lyricism in his last few films and though
his craftwork is stunning, the peaceful attempts reek of impotence and easy
chairs. You practically choke on his peace. You strain for a visual Heimlech.
This film in particular plods along until the final few frames' twists which
are pretty effective.
TREYF (May 17 Sundance Channel)
This is a pretty cool documentary feature about Jewish lesbians airing on the
Sundance channel, with insightful anecdotes and interviews, a trip to the
Holy land and undercover footage from a Chassidic synagogue in Brooklyn, all
set to the grooviest music - picture Hava Nagila set to surf punk as tacky
Hebrew trotsky's fill the screen. If you can get past the annoying monotone
drone voice-overs of the filmmakers, there's a lotta memorable moments in
this prodigal hodge-podge. 'Treyf' is a yiddish word referring to all that's
not kosher, applied to shellfish and lesbians. I knew there was a connection…
STAR WARS: EPISODE ONE
If you're a homophobe and you made it this far, congrats. You're well on your
gay way and you've helped me score fairy points with the homosexual secret
society. But since you probably just scrolled past all the purple propoganda,
here's the queer truth about...
THE PHANTOM MENACE
Fuck the critics, this STAR WARS episode fulfills the hype despite its flaws
and starts the myth out on an deliriously epic scale. This fantastic voyage
feels like the biggest surprise birthday party ever, you're deliriously happy
even though somewhere in the back of your head you're compulsively counting
who didn't show -- in this case Mr. Plot, M. Dialogue, and Ms. Acting.
Notable presences certainly, but hell, you're spinning upside-down on a
roller coaster in the theme park of the future -- anymore forward motion and
you'd hurl. And besides, just ask any Tarot master - a picture speaks a
thousand words. Throughout one gets the sense that this is a civilization
that has reached its peak, with gorgeous courtyards, towering skyscrapers,
orderly droids and bureaucracy everywhere. Like a tree in full bloom, the
bough's about to break.
Though everyone speaks platitudes in lieu of conversation, they are an alien
race after all and the stiffness and formality of their protocol is
appropriately offset by the spontaneity of Anakin the slave, and the organic
Rasta funkiness of the Gungans. JarJar Binks comes across like a tall,
hairless Ewok with the soul of a femmy, dreadlocked African-American flamer
stuck in the body of a Gungan who talks like a Cajun Teletubby - he's an
annoying character, certainly, but luckily because he's just background noise
he's totally endearing. While lil' morphin' Ani comes across EXACTLY like the
child actor who played Mike Teevee in WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
with the same grating whine towards the end and tediously impulsive bravado.
The kid's got true charm though, a sparkle in his eyes and when he isn't
chewing his lips waiting for the next line, he's a good kid with whom every
youngster will easily identify, and since he's destined to become the
personification of pure evil it will likely inspire an entire generation of
psychotic monsters here on Earth - all wearing lesbian hairdos, buzzed and
braided like Ewan MacGregor's likable Obi Wan. Watching pros Ewan and Liam
work together sets a standard however that the other actors can't hope to
attain. Hopefully Ewan will be allowed to cut loose and give us some real
Jedi drama in the next installment.
Liam Neeson carries the movie and it's his finest work ever. Ok, he's not one
of my favorite actors, but here he's phenomenal - he embodies the virtues and
qualities not only of the Jedi but of the world that is soon to be sacrificed
by dark forces from the depths of the unknown. They say a true master doesn't
preach but shows by example, by embodying the Truth. This is how Neeson plays
his Qui-Gon Jinn and perhaps this is Lucas' greatest achievement here as well
- While the exposition is sloppy and stilted, there is another story being
told beyond the words, a genuine mythical adventure for the spirit, the
feeling you get when you look at a Master's work of art in any museum.
Lucas has successfully transported us into the midst of his fantasy. The
colors, the edits, the sets, the geography, the details, the effects… wow.
Although it takes place on three planets, it feels like a hundred. It really
is like taking a tour through some sci-fi Louvre, and besides all the
technical achievements I wouldn't be surprised to to see PHANTOM MENACE snag
Oscars for Best Art, Costume, and Make-up as well. The Queen's wardrobe alone
rivals anything I've ever seen. Natalie Portman, by the way, is going to be a
goddess and I can't wait to see her character deepen in the upcoming chapters.
Speaking of upcoming chapters, this movie sets up some hefty promises with
that whole Moses/Christ freeing the slaves trip. The Christian religious
allegory is a little heavy-handed, though dependably dramatic. The final
conflict - a hot tag team saber slamming session - even resembles a dance
with the devil set to a chilling heavenly choir. Oh yeah, Academy Award for
Best Score too.
I'd rate THE PHANTOM MENACE much better than RETURN OF THE JEDI, and
personally I think it's better than A NEW HOPE but I'm a slut for art
direction. The relationships, the ideas, the suspense, and the psychology of
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK made that film an unforgettable, indelible experience
for me, but the visuals here tell a strange story and it's a cosmic doozy. As
a kid after seeing ESB I became feverish and obsessed, lying on my bed
hugging my heart too lovesick with escapist fantasies to function. Today an
hour lapsed by as I lay curled up in a fetal position clutching my chest on
the sofa lost in thought and pining for adventure, and I'm an adult for God's
sake. Driving down the streets I was changed, I saw landspeeders whizzing by
me, alien creatures wherever I turned. THE PHANTOM MENACE is that rare work
that gives you new eyes, and the world is forever changed whether you like it
or not.
Later gaze,
TOMMY TERROR
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The reviewer talks about giving a person a blow job to get into a press screaning of the phantom menace and you threaten to toss anyone out who makes a lewd comment about this guy?! Anyone else find this kind of strange?
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That was my favorite review thus far. This, er, guy (kidding!) seems to have pretty similar sensibilities as myself--I know, somehow, I will have much the same reaction to TPM. In other words, I'll experience it on its own terms, without any preconceived silliness.
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ok....I am an AVID fan of your site..I check it at least twice a day. And I do understand ur request/order that nobody tears this guy down... I DO think that if ur planning on editing talkbacks...than you certainly could have edited some of this report. I am not a homophobe, or gaybasher, BUT I was very unhappy with this report. Never have you printed anything so sexually explicit before...why do it now just because this guy happens to be gay. I mean this site is about the Glory of celluloid. Created for those of us that would rather perish from this big blue marble, than live without film. Why should someone--anyone looking for news on our passion have to (and I know you did warn us...but that's no excuse) read a graphic description of a spy felating his way into a screening? Harry...you're site is a benchmark..no professional critic could claim to be professional and not read this site. Your news is (for the most part) very timely and exciting. You, as I'm sure your aware, have an example to set. I'm not claiming anything is wrong about the lifestyle..I would find it equally disagreeable if you posted something expressing graphic descriptions of cunninglingus. I just think it was in bad taste, and I'm POSITIVE others will agree. ANYWAY...nevertheless GREAT site...and have fun in The Line..wish I was there----Andus
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Wow, I am blow away (pun intended) by this TPM review, most detailed spoiler-free, well written piece I've seen yet. I have tickets for the 12 am 1st show and am counting the hours. Meanwhile thanks Harry for supporting all forms of film including those that appeal to us out on the fringe. While I would not go down on a Hollywood insider to see TPM, there are many who have done worse in their climb to the top of the heap that is show business. Adventures of Sebastian Cole (cutie alert!), Trick and Jeanne (for their camp value alone) sound like must sees after TPM, Eyes Wide Shut and Austin Powers.
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Why dont you just admit that the whole idea of blowing someone to see TPM, ecited you beyond your wildest imaginations.:-)
GG -
Its all very well telling us to 'fuck off' and advising us not to read that report, but I wanted to hear a coherent review of TPM. I expected to read this without having to hear about Oral sex between reviewer and scooper, TT wrote an intelligent report so why he needed to include titbits about his sex life was beyond me.**
Harry, if a heterosexual wrote a similar report you would have edited it, this is PC gone too far, you are a pretentious fake. -
First, I am really glad to see even those of different sexual orientations (hope I'm being politically correct when I write that - have to be careful not to step on the wrong toes!) can have a good opinion of the new Star Wars film. It's actually refreshing. I am glad that whoever you are, you truly enjoyed the movie. It doesn't matter in the end who reviews this or any film - you're not going to please everyone, and some are going to hate it, although sometimes there is some 'middle' ground. 'So, if can't please everyone, you might as well please yourself', as that old song a few years back used to say. I'll just bet that those are the same things that George Lucas may probably be saying to himself in regards to this film. I sure hope so. It would certainly be a waste of time and effort on everyone's part to think that someone with that much money tied up into in a personal vision is going to shoot for second best. Even if he had some reasons of his own behind certain aspects of this particular film, he will live with whatever decisions that he made. I haven't even seen 'The Phantom Menace' yet, but from just what I have seen in the trailers and previews for the film, and from other people's reporting, those who have seen the 'almost finished version' that there are enough things in the film that are just perfectly designed for a lot of spin-off merchandising. In a film like this, there's bound to be money made from toys, and I have already seen just the tip of this 'titanic' (pun-intended, sorry) iceberg. George Lucas may be the one that gets most of the credit, because he was the reason that this new film was made in the first place, but it takes a lot of people to make a film of this magnitude, and if it turns out to be a bomb, It's going to be one of 'Death Star' proportions, that not even a Jedi would be able to fix with the Force. I still would like to say thanks to all of the people that attempted to do a good work in advance. I would probably say that about most films that are big budget productions too, and sure, there have been some really disappointing films as of late, in my opinion, such as the megabuck production of 'Godzilla' and the potentially good, but disappointing 'Star Trek Insurrection'. Those films had had such potential to be good films, and that's only my opinion of those two films anyway, but then 'you can't please everyone'. Even still, I'm sure that not all of the people that worked upon those films were attempting to create a 'flop'. George Lucas will probably be the main person that all of the credit will go to, just as Walt Disney used to maintain sole credit for most of his earlier works. To the many professional folks in the business that have worked as hard as you appear to have on the film, I am just saying ahead of time, I just want to say 'thank you'. I appreciate the long hours that you spent working in the various locations, and places, and wish you all the best when it comes time for the Academy Awards. I will be sure to remember to take a look at the credits at the end of this new movie, and those from the original trilogy, and if you haven
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Trader Vic: Bravo! That is perhaps the best Talkback I've ever read on AICN; professional and well thought out without resorting to insults, bravado, or swearing. More folks around here should learn from that example.
Tommy Terror: I must admit I only read the TPM part of your report (I'm not a big fan of gay cinema -- I'm more of a simple Star Wars nut). I enjoyed much of your review, which had a quite different style to it than other reviews I've seen. However, I have to reiterate the concerns of others: some of your writing is pretty inappropriate. On the positive side, you didn't resort to patented AICN swearing, but your graphic language was a wee bit too much for a public document like this (see Harry, I behaved -- and to think I'm a conservative Republican!). I'd say to you, Tommy, keep on writing reviews, but try to clean them up a bit for the public. -
Lighten up, Vic. I'm 17, and if all those rabid fans fighting over 'Star Wars' and screaming "f* you, motherf*er!!!" every sentence hasn't corrupted me yet, I doubt this review will.
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I'm glad you so enjoyed "sucking up all the negative press" (well it's the first time I've ever heard it call that before). I may be 100% heterosexual, but as a fellow Star Wars fan, I know where you're coming from (if you know what I mean). Just thinking about it, I think I'd be prepared to blow a critic for a ticket to see Star Wars -- Hell, I'd blow Harry!
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Platitudes on cutural diversity aside, it's nice to read a review from a perspective rarely seen on this site.
Bitchiness is a tone done too rarely on this site.
A tad longer than my attention span, but I look forward to more! -
ummm yeah I agree with you that the whole threat before the gtraphic bit of news was kinda hypocritical. I didn't find it "offensive" and little offends me, but the whole concept that if a straight guy sent in a review saying things like "oh yeah i had to fuck some chick to get in her pussy was so juicy and blah blah blah" you'd never expect it to get posted here would you? I have nothing against this Tommy Terror fellow but I find it laughable that before this it says "If you say anything offensive I will ban you" or something to that effect and then it says things like "I'm a pitcher not a catcher" in the story... just a thought!
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KICKED ASS, it was hilarious, i did not read all the review just the ones for movies opening here in Miami and TPM (the real reason I read the review). First of, it was hysterical, take it up the ass from Jabba, nice. I wish more people reviewed with this sense of humour, he answered the question I think most SW fans want to know, does TPM transport you to that magical mystical place we all love? In the end it will be up to everyone's opinion and feelings, just try not to be so cynical and yerning for that darker mood so much it will come. get into it, let TPM introduce you to the way the SW universe was BEFORE Vader, it will all fall into place later...
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Tommy, you go! Two snaps up for that review. Harry, good deal for having the cojones to print Tommy's reviews. It adds a much needed element here to AICN, IMHO. If I want a perfectly PC movie review, I'll go to Mr. Entertainment. Racy, bitchy and dead on, Tommy belongs here. His love of movies is obvious. And believe me, I am not in the least bit offended by anything he said (I want the name of the fellated though, I want *dish*), though I have been offended by descriptions of sexual acts that some of the hetero boys want to perpetrate on Natalie Portman...A MINOR!!!
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I thought Natalie Portman was 16 ?
Thats legal porking age in the UK. -
Tommy, very subtle; and I'm sure others have caught on. BIG reviewer? They don't come much bigger than Harry. Maybe this is the reason behind the strict editing policy. If this talk back sees the light of day, I'll be pleasantly surprised. If not, then all I really want to say is; Harry, you naughty boy!
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I believe that Tommy Terror's purpose was to "scandalize", as the expression goes in his community, this AICN board. It really is a pathetic call for attention on TT's part. Darth Maul had an EXCELLENT point - would Harry have posted a review from a hetero who described how he had to "eat out" a chick to get her to let him into a flick? I doubt it. One aspect of Harry's intro that perplexes me is his statement that he will ban anyone for any "intolerance" as he deems it - anyone who use words such as "f**", or "quee*", or "dy**". Now, I have two friends who are gay. My understanding is that the "gay community" has been attempting to take these "offensive" words back, and thus diminish their inherent demeaning messages. To this end, "out" homosexuals use these words freely amongst themselves and in public. My point is that by Harry threatening to ban anyone who uses this language, while certainly well-meaning, he is allowing haters, bigots, and homophobes to rule the day. He is empowering them - allowing them to have dominion over homosexuals w/ mere words. So, should AICN, then, simply allow hate to be posted rampantly at this site? IMO no, but I think Harry should back off of his overly "protective" stances within his intros of any gay films or gay reviewers. He is actually doing them a disservice, IMO. OK, All this being said, I still think Tommy Terror is an asshole, gay or not. His other reviews have been chock-full of pretentiousness - He insinuates that people who don't like the movies he likes "don't enjoy thinking for themselves" and "need everything spelled out for them." When someone disagrees w/ him, his first mode of attack is to go after the intelligence of the one who is criticizing (he immediately acccused me of having poor reading comprehension skills when I questioned him in a previous talk-back, instead of arguing a point) - the hallmark of a pompous, inflated individual. We need more "true" geek reviewers out there, and less pompousness, IMO - that is the root of some of this site's problems, I think. So, I certainly don't care whether a reviewer is homosexual or not, but if s/he is a pretentious jerk, I do care.
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Well, I've visited this site umpteen times and it took Tommy's TERRORific post to get me to respond. Nice to see some diversity here... and well written reviews. Must admit I was surprised -- but pleased. Okay. Just wanted to add my ten cents worth. I'm done -- and anxiously awaiting TPM like the rest of the universe.
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Hey man you know I maield you some info on some religious based movies, but I dont see them posted on your site at all?!? Hmmmmmm. What are you trying to push on us Harry??? Why do you insist on not posting any movie reviews made from a christian point of view? Dont you think that everyone, gay, straight, black, mexican, white, and christian all have the right to have their movies reviewed on your site??? I guess not huh. Good job with the censorship!
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The reason I posted this message here was not meant to offend ANYONE simply to get a point accross that Harry censors certain films on his site. Also just to address this I have seen a review of Noahs Ark(which is not a biblical based film, should have been made by Mel Brooks) and the Prince of Eygypt. The last one is the ONLY religious based film I personnally have ever seen reviewed on this site. Does anyone else think this is odd? Their are plenty of christian based and themed movies out there and more come every year. Hmmmm. Oh well Just wanted to let everyone know this wasnt to offend(but will probably be banned anyway) Hail the powers that be! See ya....
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This guy is a colorful and interesting reviewer, but like PDaddy said, he's a pompous ass. It's his way or the high way, and he enjoys rubbing your nose in his way. However I'm glad to see some people out there love the movie...even if it is for the costumes, makeup, and art direction. And is this guy really gay? He seems pretty derogatory about the whole business, despite his flamboyance in graphic language...and I also agree, we didn't need to hear how he got in the movie. What was it you used to say Harry, "I don't do bedroom?"
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I am in 100% agreement with Harry in banning HATE and INTOLERANCE on this Talk Back and applaud his courage. Harry, please apply this standard to ALL of Talk Back. :)
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Although I agree with you Kirin, that there should be a line drawn, but I also feel that reviewers need to be drawn a line as well. Theres no problem with a gay person doing gay reviews but we dont need to read any of his gay advertising. I dont need to hear about how he blew someone for passes. You dont hear the straight reviewers selling the straightness. Before you warn us Harry you need to warn the reviewers as well and ban them if need be. After children read this site as well, especially if its Star Wars news. Grow up a little Harry or at least be a little more professional.
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Harry's warning was meant to discourage people who would have ranted on and on and on about the evils of homosexuality, and how Tommy Terror and Harry were contributing to the decline of our moral fabric etc. etc.
So what if Tommy's reviews were graphic? He did it to provoke, as a couple of Talk-Back folks have mentioned. Of COURSE he was pushing his "gayness," just as countless others reviewers on AICN, Hallenbeck, for one, have pushed their "hetero-ness" by slavering over the bodaciousness of the women in the movie or the audience. Harry's even done it. No one accused him, or anyone else, of pushing their heterosexuality on the younger readers who MIGHT be reading this site - although Harry's never been graphic about it, I admit. And as far as younger readers go, if their folks are going to allow them to read AICN, then they are going to have to prepare their impressionable tykes for occasional outbursts of profanity and sexual innuendo - gay and straight. There's nothing we can do about the kids whose folks aren't paying attention, except to say that we all know Harry and Father Geek well enough by now to understand nothing truly offensive will be posted here. Aside from the occasional studio-penned review gussied up as a geek's report.
Regards,
J.C. Adams -
In response to your comment, I'm refering to hate and intolerance targeted at a member of Harry's virtual community. As for free speech, you are 100% free to create your own hate site. Knock yourself out.
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"I'm not normally aggressive because, well, I'm so very weak."
That is the funniest line I've ever seen in a movie review.
You made me interested in a couple of movies that normally I would have dismissed (why? I don't know - not a 'gay cinema' fan, I guess)
Tommy, thanks for making me laugh
Please give us the low-down who you did the deed to! Then we can have a new Rumours section on Aint-It-Cool! -
erm, christian films ? Like christian rock, christian films will never find their niche becuase not even christians will sit through something that bad.
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Mssr. Terror, you are an absolute laff riot, and certainly present a valid manner in which to approach "The Phantom Menace" -- expecting nothing but a visual feast, and loving it on that level alone. While I disagree with you almost catagorically -- I value a focused story and passionate acting above all, and found both fatally lacking in "Episode I" -- a lot of people are going to agree with you. Do turn in reviews here more often; you present a nice alternative point of view, and certainly a flashier writing style.
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If this person doesn't write for this site again, it will be a crying shame... This is one of the best movie reviewers I've ever had the pleasure of reading, and he is FUCKING HILARIOUS... More!
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I agree with you 100%! And for any homosexuals reading this site, allow me to elaborate. I have nothing at all against homosexuals. What any adult does behind close doors is their business. I presonally couldn't give a rat's ass if someone is gay or not, it really doesn't bother me. I've hung out with gay guys because they were cool and fun to hang out with, and I think gay-bashing and hate crimes arr horrible. BUT... I don't need that type of lifestyle shoved in my damn face all the time. Why can't some gay people get it through their heads that most heteros find that type of lifestyle disgusting! The truth is most regular (straight) guys like me could care less if soemone is gay or not. What pisses us off is when a homosexual acts like we're missing out on something or that we need to be "enlightened" to the gay way of life. Fuck that!!!Hey, if you're gay more power to you, but I don't wanna hear about it. I love women, adore women, and that's all I want to know about. All the pro-gay propoganda in the world is not gonna move me one inch closer to being gay, so save it for someone who cares. Stick to your gay chat rooms and gay magazines because I don't want to hear about it. Just like I don't want to hear about women's issues, or black causes, or Republican Party plans, becuase none of these things has a damn thing to do with me and I have no interest in any of them. You wanna report on gay films or The Phantom Menace? Be my guest! But save the blowjob story for your pal Frenchy and the gang. This is a movie site, remember? And as far as being politically correct goes, my heroes are Jesus Christ, Malcolm X, and Stone Cold Steve Austin, three guys who are as politcally UN-correct as you can get. Talk about another thing getting thrown in your face 24/7. I've had enough of that bullshit, too. OK, time for me to follow my own advice of this being a movie site and stop ranting about this stuff. I'll be back early Wednesday morning to let you guys know just good TPM is. Joey stylez is OUT!!!
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After seeing what this site has become. I offer Harry, Moriarity, and Father Geek the following suggestion: go to a lake, desert, or canyon where the view is stunning and not a soul is around to bother you. While at in this spectacular setting ingest a Peyote button or 4 dried grams of psilocibin mushrooms. Then you will discover exactly what you are not. Harry, you are becoming one of the most dangerous men in america. Why do you think they put you on the top 100 powerlist? Harry, you are every high powered studio execs wet dream. You are so easy to manipulate and they love you for it. Its obvious that you do not know how to handle what you've become and I seriously think that if you dont change your ways now you will fall furthur into the chaotic abyss that has rendered this site such a mockery of human indecency. You can rant and rave about tolerance, yet you are as intolerant as they come. I could care less if you ban me. I serve no purpose to your site and I have only posted here one other time. So ban me if you will, its your right. But remember how misconstrued your so called philosophies are. They are leading you down the narrow path straight to the edge of that spiraling abyss.
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If George Lucas was dead he would be spinning in his grave right now. JEERS!
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I find it funny how upset some people can get over a little oral sex. I guess nobody read the disclaimer Harry wrote at the top. I am very glad that he wrote that, as I had stopped coming to this site after seeing some of the hate-filled venom that was appearing in talkback. I don't mind if you disagree with me, as long as you do it civilly. Hate-filled speech is what Harry is trying to get rid of, that kind of rhetoric leads directly to people like Matthew Shapherd dying young.
As for the supposed stereotypical behavior, as a a gay man, I find nothing wrong with any of it. Ask yourself why you would find a man acting with any female characteristics offensive. Smells like misogyny. Would you be as offended by a woman who is a tomboy?
As for Star Wars, I m going to see the midnight showing at AMC 1000 and only had to wait in line three hours. I will see it at the Coronet later. I have to admit I am not as excited over it since the reviews, but I cannot remember the last time I was this excited for a film. (Batman Returns, maybe). Star Wars was nominated for best picture , I doubt this will be. Maybe George will learn from this and have Carrie Fisher help more with the script and Episode II will be even better! -
I have to say, thru my "years" of seeing posts, reviews, etc. nothing has prompted me to get a user ID and post a message on a subject as some of the comments posted regarding Tommy Terror's comments.
First off, I'm not even going to touch the Harry issue, what's more disturbing to me are the reactions by some visitors to this site that are incredibly negative on what I percieved as pretty tame remarkes by Tommy Terror. Yes, I live in Los Angeles, am gay and work in this industry so I do have lost some perspective on how this is percieved in "middle america", but give me a break. It's pretty obvious that these remarks were in jest and were an exaggeration on Tommy's part. If he wanted to push some buttons, he certainly did. This idea that gay men are throwing their sexual deeds in hetero men's faces and how disgusting it is, etc. is absurd. How many reviews have I read on here regarding how "fucking hot" Catherine Zeta-Jones or Heather Gram is? And how great it would be to "shag" wih them. Let's not be hypocrites here.
Secondly, the idea that Tommy was only reviewing "gay" genre films is in fact not true. THE ADVENTURES OF SEBASTION COLE and BESIEGED (the Bertolucci film) are not "gay" films, but ones that just happen to have gay or transsexual characters in them. And I'd like to remind all of you of the attention Harry has taken to Chinese/Japanese/Asian as well as other foriegn films you might have passed up at the local art house because you read a post about them. I've gone to tons of "straight" films in my life, would be shame if we eliminated them as well, no?
I could go on about this for a bit, but I think this is enough. Keep an open mind and a sense of humor guys. It makes life much easier to get thru. -
In regards to the question of whether Ms. Portman is fair game or not, the US does not have a national age of consent. Each state is allowed to determine that age in its statutory rape laws - for example, in California, it's 18; in Hawaii, it's 14.
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Andus, Harry did post a graphic reference to cunnilingus, in LaneMyers review of "Cruel
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May 15, 1999 7:01:13 PM CDT
Hey Tommy, I'll give you tickets for Star Trek The Experience if
by gayjedi
I am so happy to not be the only gay Star Wars fan out there. I know I am the only Gay Jedi... and to have a man like Tommy be on my team... well... it puts a smile on my face.
I pray Tommy didn't blow the Insider. I hope he was pulling your chain. Scandal brings attention, and he brought some to this rather bland site. As a gay man in the industry, he should know the risks involved by promiscuous sex.
Unfortunately, I do not agree with the way Tommy presented things. I would have looked at my responsibility as a openly gay man writing a review more closely. A review that would hopefully bring back people to read for future reviews. Granted, the "girl" wanted to make a splash with a grand Academy Award Winning ENTRANCE like any good gay man would want, and that he did. You go GIRL!!!
Gay men love style, and TPM has it all throughout the movie. I can't wait to see drag queens dressed up as Queen Amidala with her handmaidens this Halloween. It's going to be hilarious in West Hollywood! And then of course Tommy will be engaging in muscle relaxation techniques in the back of someone's car... hope fully mine.
Hey Tommy, I'll give you tickets for Star Trek The Experience if you'll do your magic on me... I may even let you pitch if you are Butch enough... ??? Email me! -
Harry has never (or, rather, very rarely) censored anyone for language alone. Hallenbeck is proof of that. I believe what he was warning against is using the sexuality of the reviewer as an excuse to go off on a rant about "eeeevil homosexshuls." Also, if you read Tommy's cleverly worded review, he actually *doesn't* give any "graphic details" about how he got to see TPM. He uses some pretty lewd innuendo, but the explicit pictures are supplied by our very own god-given imaginations. Scary, eh? Either way, Tommy rocks, and I can't wait to hear from him again.
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AICN is becoming like a god damn day time talkshow. What are you going to do to try to shock us next time?
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That was funny...
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Well, the truth of the matter is that this is a big scam to prepare us for the truth that will be revealed in Star Wars: Episode II. One of the most beloved characters, C-3PO, will be revealed for the big old flaming queen that she is. I mean, really, let's be honest -- isn't C-3PO just a big old femme? I think he is. I hate to tell all you homophobes out there, but I have to hand it to the reviewer for having more chutzpah than any of the line geeks for having blown his way into a preview screening of TPM. If you don't want to hear about "weird sexual acts," I hope to GOD you pussies didn't read the Starr Report, especially that part about the oral-anal contact. Now, what I want to know -- who was on the receiving end of it? If you don't believe me, look up the report -- it's there in a footnote.
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Wow, I didn't know gay people watched movies!
Seriously, I can't believe anyone found this stuff shocking. And to those who say Harry is a hypocrite - I guarentee he would have posted a review by a straight guy who sucked dick to see Star Wars. :) Or even one who performed oral sex on a female with an extra ticket. So, to reiterate, some people are dumb. The review was well written and that's all there is to it. Everything else is just you bitches wanting to whine because you ain't got nothing better to do. -
First off: I enjoyed the TPM review; it was playful, witty, incisive, and certainly one of the better reviews I've seen on AICN (or anywhere, for that matter). Tommy clearly has a knack for these things. However, here comes the "But..." I've been a regular poster here on AICN for a year or so now, and I have always, without exception, defended you, Harry, and how you run this site. Raucous behavior in the Talk Backs aside (hardly your fault), I've never seen anything that crosses a line here - close, occasionally, but never over. I do thinking posting Tommy's review as it is, however, may have been a lapse in judgment. The language was raw, true, though hardly the only review to do so; the mention of Tommy's sex act payoff, however, was really unnecessary. I would have been just as disturned had it been a hetero sex act described (and if there have been any such incidents here, I've missed them). It made your admonitions against intolerant posts rather jarring, and I think there's something to the charges of hypocrisy that have been made here: Tommy's column was more than just deliberately provocative, and the truth is, it didn't need to be. What happened here, I think, is that your generally admirable efforts to run a tolerant site and expand readers' moviegoing tastes (and social views) led you to accept uncritically some offensive material in an otherwise well-written review. Most of us love the "Harry-style" review describing the day's events leading up to the screening you've pioneered, but there are a few things that most of us would leave off mentioning, and a sex act - straight, gay, or, ah, solitary - is one of them. I know you posted the warning, but...well, it's your site, and it's your call. I think we'd all rather see as little "censorship" as possible, whether it's of posts or reviews, but once you've decided to start doing it at all, it ought to be evenhanded. Just my two cents. (Jewish lesbians?)
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Here's a twilight zone revelation for ya. Those who who are hateful and intolerant of HATE and INTOLERANCE perpetuate the very things they hate and intolerate. Here's my two bits. Though I may disagree with what you're saying, I would die defending your right to say it. That goes for Harry, fellating critics, the pedophile guy, lesbians, the Christian Guy, PFLAG, skinheads, Roger Ebert, homophobes, drag queens, all other groups and yes- anyone who thinks I'm full of BS. PS, despite all of TT's writing pyrotechnics, I still wasn't convinced he had even seen TPM.
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Look, I'm gay and I've made a hobby of arguing about it on the net. I have a few thoughts...
I can see why Harry laid down the law so hard at the beginning because I've seen more than one feedback page get hijacked by the anti-gay agenda and then guys like me feel duty-bound to respond and things just go down hill from there. Hundreds of messages later the original point is gone and nothing gets accomplished. If Harry doesn't want to devote his website to that then it's his choice. It's not like this is the only place on the web where people can talk about gay vs. anti-gay.
Maybe in the past you could talk about censorship when only a few people could afford mass circulation but now anyone can have a web-site. I don't see why Harry can't devote his site to exactly the kind of movies he likes. You want a Christian movie web-site go over to GeoCities and start one yourself. The day I want a gay movie web-site that's what I'm going to do. Personally, I think it's cool Harry wants to include gay movies here but it never occurred to me that he should before now. And if he never mentions a gay-themed movie again that won't bother me either. There's more to the web than any one site--so let's stop talking like any one site has to please everybody.
Having said all that, I wasn't exactly overjoyed with the review that started this whole discussion. Camp is funny (I thought the reviews were funny!) but not everyone gets the joke in mixed company. Personally I'd have toned it down for this audience. Stuff like this is asking for trouble--especially when it begins with the moderator threatening to trash any dissenting comments. It's like a little kid standing behind his dad going "nyah, nyah, nyah!" when he knows no one can touch him.
Hey, doing someone to get to see Star Wars before everyone else is the kind of dish you just *have* to share, but maybe here wasn't the best place to do it. Then again it's not my site.
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Ack! What a dope I can be!
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Harry, homophobia does not enter into the picture here when it comes to being offended...
I'm a gay man and I REALLY did not need to know how/why Tommy got his tickets. Frankly, I think the price he paid was TOO MUCH, because it wasn't just a sexual act, it was it self-esteem.
I realize that I may be a bit stodgy, considering I've been in a monogamous (sp?) relationship for over six years, but this behaviour DOES NOT represent all homosexuals and only represents TOMMY's.
Please, in the future, gay or straight reviewer, EDIT out details such as these, as they are offensive to MOST of US, gay or straight...!
Thank you -
Harry, why'd you delete my message??? I actually got alot of mail from people agreeing with me. I think that this asshole has gone too low in giving a blowjob to get tickets. NO ONE (gay or straight) would do that. Shit like that does not belong on AICN. I know you were trying to say "More power to you" to the gay community, but it blew up in your face. You're making it look as though any gay person would do that. You're making gay people look bad.
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I thought it would be my civic duty to report that Tommy Terror emailed me about our misunderstanding - he actually seemed like a pretty cool guy from his email. So, I hereby take back everything I said in my previous post. Anyway, on to TPM. One thing I've been thinking about inre to TPM is that it honestly seems like there is no "consensus" about this new film. I mean, what I consider the old guard of Star Wars conventional wisdom holds that ANH was great and innovative, ESB was the best w/ its dark tones, and ROTJ, while still a good movie, was a big disappointment in the context of the original trilogy. But w/ TPM, we've been getting opinions from it sucked dick (not literally, hehehe) to the lukewarm to the raves. To me, this just makes Wednesday all the more exciting - I'll get to decide for myself where TPM places within the Star Wars universe.
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Yeah, I myself went over to the Dark Half 2.0 to see if Lane's corpse had actually dug itself out of the grave, but I found that Lane is indeed gone for good. TRUST ME. Lane's final address to the public in that Star Wars Talk Back was 100% REAL. Lane will never post to a message board again. But, as we all know, Lane had a SMALL cult following. They can't accept the demise of their hero, so they have..."taken the mantle" of LaneMyers. It's a title now. A few punks are going around under Lane's name because they believe it will give their opinions more weight. You see, now that Lane's dead, everybody's dancing over his grave. He's not here to defend himself. I'm sure you're going to see alot more people impersonating Lane. ...Lane just felt that the internet was...ruining his life. He duped us all. He was tired of living a lie, so in a way, he commited "internet suicide". In the end, he was a worhty advisary, and worhty arch-rival. I respected him, but I know that he's passed. Some punks just don't respect that. They're using this oppurtunity to try to keep him alive in some way or another. ...and if you still believe that Lane is alive... Trust me. He's gone. And as proof, he WILL NEVER EVER EVER post to Talk Back AGAIN. EVER. How easy is it to go around and type in "LaneMyers" as your name in any messageboard that does not require a password? I guess these people are the real losers. Lane was a good man, and as much as I hate to say it...I kind of miss him. But at least I'll be able to argue with that MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE, JMS.
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So I'm walking through the zoo and this ape uses sign language to motion me over. He signs that he has tickets to episode 2, so I went down on him. I'm still picking the hair out of my teeth. So then I show up to watch the movie, and I look at the tickets and they say "BioDome: Episode 2" Damn. That was one tricky gorilla. Don't you dare judge me for my mouthful of monkey. It's my lifestyle and I'm proud of it.
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May 16, 1999 1:36:17 PM CDT
Jim Ryalto should be dragged into the street and severely chasti
by alexandra dupont
I'm sorry, Jim Ryalto, let me get this straight: A man, however hack-like, should be KILLED because he gave a MOVIE a negative review? Because he got a NUMERIC SEQUENCE incorrect? I know you're joking, and I'm not one to use profanity in the Talk Backs, but f*** you, man; you're WAY out of line with that wisecrack, and you should be ashamed of yourself for having the crypto-fascist gall to squelch anybody's opinions, much less threaten their well-being, because they had the nerve to disagree with you re: your opinions of a movie I'm not even sure you've seen yet. (By the way, I saw "Episode I" last week, and in my opinion, the bugs in "ST" WERE scarier; those damn battle droids look like Quimby the Mouse from Chris Ware's "Acme Novelty Library" comic books. Do I deserve to die for that opinion, a-hole?)
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May 16, 1999 1:38:45 PM CDT
Jim Ryalto should be dragged into the street and severely chasti
by alexandra dupont
I'm sorry, Jim Ryalto, let me get this straight: A man, however hack-like, should be KILLED because he gave a MOVIE a negative review? Because he got a NUMERIC SEQUENCE incorrect? I know you're joking, and I'm not one to use profanity in the Talk Backs, but f*** you, man; you're WAY out of line with that wisecrack, and you should be ashamed of yourself for having the crypto-fascist gall to squelch anybody's opinions, much less threaten their well-being, because they had the nerve to disagree with you re: your opinions of a movie I'm not even sure you've seen yet. (By the way, I saw "Episode I" last week, and in my opinion, the bugs in "ST" WERE scarier; those damn battle droids look like Quimby the Mouse from Chris Ware's "Acme Novelty Library" comic books. Do I deserve to DIE for that opinion?)
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May 16, 1999 1:41:10 PM CDT
Jim Ryalto should be dragged into the street and severely chasti
by alexandra dupont
I'm sorry, Jim Ryalto, let me get this straight: A man, however hack-like, should be KILLED because he gave a MOVIE a negative review? Because he got a NUMERIC SEQUENCE incorrect? I know you're joking, and I'm not one to use profanity, but f*** you, man; you're WAY out of line with that wisecrack, and you should be ashamed of yourself for having the crypto-fascist gall to squelch anybody's opinions, much less threaten their well-being, because they had the nerve to disagree with you re: your opinions of a movie I'm not even sure you've seen yet. (By the way, I saw "Episode I" last week, and in my opinion, the bugs in "ST" WERE scarier; those damn battle droids look like Quimby the Mouse from Chris Ware's "Acme Novelty Library" comic books. Do I deserve to DIE for that opinion?)
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May 16, 1999 1:45:30 PM CDT
Jim Ryalto should be dragged into the street and severely chasti
by alexandra dupont
I'm sorry, Jim Ryalto, let me get this straight: A man, however hack-like, should be KILLED because he gave a MOVIE a negative review? Because he got a NUMERIC SEQUENCE incorrect? I know you're joking, and I'm not one to use profanity, but f*** you, man; you're WAY out of line with that wisecrack, and you should be ashamed of yourself for having the crypto-fascist gall to squelch anybody's opinions, much less threaten their well-being, because they had the nerve to disagree with you re: your opinions of a movie I'm not even sure you've seen yet. (By the way, I saw "Episode I" last week, and in my opinion, the bugs in "ST" WERE scarier; those damn battle droids look like Quimby the Mouse from Chris Ware's "Acme Novelty Library" comic books. Do I deserve to DIE for that opinion?)
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May 16, 1999 2:16:15 PM CDT
Alexandra DuPont should be dragged out onto the street and shot
by quentin2
Look. Tom Shales is a motherfucker, plain and simple. He said "There's Something About Mary" was one of the worst films of the year. COME ON! Alexandra you WERE a Star Wars, weren't you! Surley you can appreciate hatred towards someone who calls the original trilogy "episodes 3, 4, and 5" and calls Yoda a stupid muppet. I bet this guy has no fucking clue as to why Star Wars is classic. PS: Alexandra, regardless of what you think, in another twenty years, TPM will be viewed just the same waty as ANH is viewed now. Star Wars will be a classic SIX EPISODE saga. And TPM will be one of those fantastic Star Wars movies. And, oh yeah, by script, comic-adaptation, and soundtrack alone, I'd say TPM is the best of the Star Wars movies.
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As to those who have said Tommy Terror didn't say anything to deliberately push buttons as much as heterosexuals do with their reviews, notice this comment.
"Butt first, here -
Wow, so much fuss over a simple blowjob between men. What xenophobia. When ROTJ came out, I waited 12 hours in line in Seattle where it premiered to get into a 4 AM screening before the rest of the world, and though I was disappointed, it was a memorable experience. I knew if I saw TPM in the way that I did, that I would forever have to associate this movie with a BJ, and I thought that would be funny as hell. I definitely have a perverse outlook on life, I have many friends in the sex industry, and my own professional work is considered tinged with a deviant sexuality. I've been photographed for articles on alternative artist-types. This style is nothing new for me, it's how I write. I'm definitely not trying to represent anyone like picket fence gays, or Star Wars fans, or human decency, or horny apes, or AICN. The moral majority has always taken their lifestyle for granted. But there's a whole world out there in living color, and kids, you're never gonna be able to plug it up. Life happens. Sexuality is beautiful in any form, so don't be ashamed of it, even when you're not part of the action. This blowjob had a purpose, it illustrated the desperate measures that a TPM fan could take. Wholly appropriate. And you know what, it wasn't that bad. Now Harry's policy from day one has been to censor unnecessarily hateful talk back posts, even when he gives explicit and offensive and hilarious spies like Hallenbeck free rein. This is why you need a password and a talk back account. This is nothing new, he put a disclaimer at the top of this report cuz he knows homosexuality still causes controversy. No big deal, he's a responsible guy and I respect him for his open mind. And all you presumptious, moralistic naysayers can blow me.
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... in the movie "Better than Chocolate. Every fanboy of "F/X- The Series" wet dream. Her making love with another woman. Showing the 17th at the Seattle Film Festival.See it. Report. Any pictures on the net soon?
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Jeez - some of the people on this Talkback need to chill out! I thought TT's reviews were a laff riot and was not in the least offended by anthing he had to say. One of the best reviews I've read so far of TPM, too. More power, to ya, chum.
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Look a lot of people on this site are just plain ridiculous. Who cares if he blew his way in to see TPM? Actually it would be cool to see a african-american reviewer and a hispanic reviewer, give their point of view. Hell, I am hispanic, and would find it funny reading (or writing) a review with hispanic "slang" or something, or reading a review from the american-indian point of view. With all the different cultural, sexual, and personal differences out there a variety of opinions is welcome. Some people need to grow up, oral sex happens EVERYDAY in bedrooms (or theatres) ACROSS the US!! To those of you who say you were offended to here it HERE are full of it, furthermore I'll bet you liked it, it secretly turned you on inside...god, some of you people are just too damn funny
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Harry, you have got to let this guy do more reviews! I haven't laughed this hard since The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
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Yet another person who just registered for this talk-back, though it's about the "off-subject" subject.
I went to the NPR site and listened to Shales's review. I have to say, it urked me more than anything I've read about TPM -- granted it's the only professional review I've heard/read.
Though I wouldn't go so far as to kill the man I do think he needs to find some better outlet to express his obvious unfamiliarity with the picture he's reviewing in that particular piece. Alexandra, obviously taking far too seriously Jim Ryalto's post, makes observations that are offbase. First, EVERYONE I've asked (regardless of whether they are Star Wars fans or not) knows that the first three films were episodes 4, 5, & 6. The public is so bathed in TPM propganda that it can't have escaped Mr. Shales that TPM is the first in a new trilogy -- simple math does the rest.
Also, Shales has problems with the way Yoda arranges his sentence structures -- problems everyone else in the world got over sometime in the 80's. (It's akin to the way reviewers complained that Data was no more than a Spock replacement when ST: Generations came out, although everyone else had gotten over that sometime during season 2 or 3). I was especially annoyed at his saying the attack droids weren't as scary as the bugs in Starship Troopers. Since when was Star Wars about instilling horror?!?! I pray to god the smaller kids that are going to see this film don't have any way to compare it to ST, because they shouldn't have been seeing that film anyway.
What most annoyed me though was he's completely condescending tone. "Trade routes and taxation? These are the things dreams are made of? Obviously not?" I wouldn't be so quick to judge Mr. Shales, especially for someone who can't count to three properly. Go to www.npr.org and take a listen, better yet, don't, it'll just annoy you as his monotone voice beckons you into oblivion.
By the way, I haven't seen the film, it may very well suck, I just had structural and critical problems with they way Shales approached his review.
Sean -
Tommy Terrors review was hilarious and I certainly would like more of this; it was funny AND thoughtful, something all to rarely seen on this site, and in the world at large. Also, apart from being forewarned, the people who were offended by the graphic nature of his statements, need to check up on what "graphic" means. It wasn
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Harry, will you please stop censoring and banning people! I agree with Sociopath, let the racists, homophobes, cocksuckers, communists, christians, fascists, nationalists, masterbators, and male whores come forward and vent. Yeah, someone's view may be hurtful, but you have the right to respond. If some fearful ignoramus offensively sprays the word nigger throughout their post, they will be verbally reamed and ostracized by other posters. If they don't leave, no one will read or respect their future posts. And stop this protective bullshit about children. What age are we talking about? If Johny Sharp can operate a mouse to get on a website and is literate enough to understand irony, jargon, puns, and euphemisms- way to go Johnny, you've just gotten a glimpse into the adult world! The loss of innocence doesn't happen instantly. More than likely, he was exposed to violence, hatred, and sex long before he logged in- whether it be the Bible, a stop into a German gas station, Crumb, their older brother's best friend, Ingres, a coroner's encyclopedia, or "Bachelor Party". Anyways, funny review TT, I hope you stick around.
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Tommy,
Rather rich with the language, however, that review of Phantom Menace was good, and the reviews of the other films gives an interesting insight to the attitudes of Americans in genral. Even more interesting are the attitudes from fellow 'talk backers'
I just hope that for your sake you don't have to 'go down' to get in on every preview, otherwise you might choke one day. -
Tommy, you are indeed the gay Joe Hallenbeck! And a welcome addition to the AICN stable you are. We want more from Tommy Terror!
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Thomas, good review of TPM...you cheered me up a bit with a description of the movie that wasnt too bad, unlike the recent slew of reviews from just about every critic. Last weeks Newsweek (a magazine I can normally tolerate whilst dropping a load) for May 10th, had a wicked review by...uhhh...the bastards name escapes me...followed by a mean spirited article on the Lucas 'Empire' and how evil it was. Feh. Anyone else noticing a whiney, bitch, lame ass movement in the media against the new Star Wars film, or am I just paranoid? Anyway, thanks Tom. I thought your quite open but overall humorous delivery was good, and it in no way offended or angered me.
And now, for Mr. Shales, you disrespectful fuck, get the numbers right, try and *enjoy* the movie without going into it with a pre-determined view(this is key), and remove your face from the crotch of the patron next to you (hrmmm...Tommy = Shales?). Perhaps then, you might have liked the whizz bang bright flashy sword movie better. Oh yeah, and be grateful you were given the chance to see it before thousands of other fans you git.
Next, TPM. The previews made me cream my jeans. I cant wait. I have my tickets. Its going to be so, so, so very sweet. I noticed the disemboided head of Harry now has a twinkle in its eye on the AICN index page. See, the floating head knows...but it does not tell: TPM is the bomb.
Last but not least, fuck kids. No one here can honestly believe that some little shit that can log on, click around, and hit this site, is virginal of the heart and mind and will be offended. Fuck that. Try any of these sites and the *easy* access one has to pornograhpic material. Try any of the news programs that blasted hour after hour of explicit detail of our Presidents sex life. And then, try opening your eyes. The kids are rotten before they hit this site. We dont 'make' them rotten, and we dont 'encourage' it. I dont want a kid to read my words...but I cant stop him from doing it, because I am not his dad. Or his mom. Well, I might be his mom. Im not saying...
Adios geeks! -Kith -
F-Word is a little prevalent in this post huh? I thought we did not review PORN here??!!! Go back to your cave , GayPOrnBOy
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Forgive my paraphrasing but Wells once said of Dali
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First of all, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed the review. Gay or not, it was gut-splittingly funny. As a straight male confident in his own sexuality, I gotta say that some people really need to lighten up. Yeah, this guy went down on someone to see TPM, but that just shows what a devoted fan he is. Hell, I'd do the same to a female reviewer if she'd allow me to see a preview of TPM (are there any female reviewers out there? Just wondering ;) ). And as far as everyone complaining about Harry censoring Talk Back, I have two points. 1) It's Harry's site, and he can do whatever he wants with it. If you don't like it, you don't have to participate. That's the beauty of the internet, it works both ways. 2) If Harry didn't censor it and post his ban threat, can you imagine all the hateful crap that would have clogged this Talk Back session? It would have taken an hour to load this page just to read the review, and that would have ruined everyone's experience with it. Harry made the tough choice and I for one think he made the right decision.
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I, the original Stone Cold, have been here from the beginning. There is only one true Stone Cold, and that's the bottom line, cuz Stone Cold said so! StoneColdSteve get a new name.
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May 17, 1999 10:03:54 AM CDT
I read these things, I never even try to talk back, but I think
by ron jeremy jr.
You're all pretty stupid. This is the best review of anything that's been on this site for a long, long time and you all have to get into the gay/straight shit! What is wrong with you people??? SERIOUSLY! Is there any kind of mystery about cocksucking? The dick goes into the mouth, there might be some sucking actually going on, but mostly it involves head bobbing and eventually a mouth full of goo that unlike some might think, isn't all that palatable! (My girlfriend could give you a better run down on that than I could. But, apparently, a vegetarian's semen tastes better than a guy who eats read meat. Go figure.)
What about anal sex? Lubricate, insert, thrust, repeat.
So where's the controversy here? Who the fuck cares who's gay or straight or bi or into puppies or whatever the fuck???
You guys act like total fucking children whenever someone goes to review a gay oriented film. It's all, who's offending this, and what goes against my religion this and guess what?
NO ONE GIVES A GOOD GODDAMN!
The guy is gay, big fucking deal!
My brother is gay, I slept with a guy in college for about a year, UPTIGHT I AIN'T!
I'm gonna be completely honst here! I've fucked women and I love it, I've fucked men, and I love that too, but despite what you teenie-bopper homophobes might or might not think, THERE IS NO MYSTERY TO SEX, GAY OR STRAIGHT! So stop acting like it and stop ragging on Tommy Terror, the guy is fucking cool!
Now, about "The Phantom Menace". It's pretty fucking good! And that's the most you're gonna get out of me on that subject.
SO IN CONCLUSION!
Stop it with all the gay/straight shit! In case you hadn't noticed, (JIM FUCKING RYALTO THIS IS FOR YOU, YOU NAZI BASTARD!) THE WORLD HAS CHANGED! -
come on... was that really necessary to let everyone know that not all gay guys are like tommy "tired" terror? who here didn't know that? is this "are we all ok with the gay thing" or is this about reviewing TPM? *snap*
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I'm also a gay man and I agree with bballgay... but I'd just like to add that I have too much respect for myself to go wrap my mouth around a strange dick just to see a movie. And it *is* just a movie. The reviewer's inclusion of this certainly doesn't help the machiavellian / promiscuous gay stereotypes.
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My God, shouldn't there be a limit on the length of these TalkBack posts?? Have mercy! I fell asleep with Trader Vic's... and that wasn't from reading it all, just from scrolling through it! Lawdy mercy! He said he was gonna wrap up or get off his soapbox about 14 times before I actually got relief!!!
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