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Melvyn looks at MYSTERY MEN
Well here's Melvyn the Monster who whilst searching for some good grub to munch on stumbled across MYSTERY MEN, but... didn't have near the fun that Moriarty or Segue Zagnut had. Just a tiny reminder, this is a test screening and the film will undoubtedly go through some changes between now and it's August release date. Personally I'm still pulling for IRON GIANT to be moved up to mid-July. But.... well, we'll see.
I beg to differ with the other two reviews for this sophomoric and ponderous
exercise in mediocrity. Honestly, it was one of the biggest wastes of
talent(Geoffrey Rush, Bill Macy, Ben Stiller, Janene Garofolo,etc..) and
money (reportedly over $70 million) in recent memory.
There is absolutely no story here. It makes you wonder if they actually had
a script to go with the silly concept. Once you get past the introduction of
each of the characters and their "funny" super powers --Pee Wee Herman farts,
Hank Azaria throws forks, Ben Stiller gets angry, and Bill Macy hits people
with a shovel--there is no other reason to watch the rest of this movie.
These jokes are all funny once. They are not enough to sustain a two hour
film. The story concerns these super-heroes as they prepare to do battle
with the evil Cassanova Frankenstein(Geoffry Rush). This takes up about an
hour and 45 minutes of the film. The final 15 minutes are, of course, the
absurdly unfunny showdown between our heroes and Cassanova.
The dialogue here is also terrible. It feels like it was lifted from a
Saturday morning cartoon. How many laughs can you generate by a character
sitting on a fork?
In addition, they have obviously spent a tremendous amount of money on
special effects that don't look good and don't fit into the story at all.
Why are they pakcing the movie with effects when it is about a bunch of
low-tech super-heroes with no real superpowers that merit having an effect.
Farting? A shovel? Perhaps the effects have been put in to try and make us
forget that the jokes are lame and the story non-existent.
Melvyn the Monster
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The effects shots were clearly not done and the guy told us that in advance.
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I've attended a ton of previews, and some times the screen will simply go blank and have a little sign that reads: INSERT EFFECT SHOT or EFFECT NOT COMPLETE. Now, that pisses me off, but from what I gather Mistery Men actually had temporary effects in. I've seen a few, they look crappy and it's hard to judge the impact they'll have when ready. So far the movie's had 5 reviews, 4 good, one bad, and the last one cites the effects. I would assume they were temporary as Segue said. Harry, is this the case??
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It would take a LOT to make me avoid the movie at this point. Besides the fact that it seems like a rip-off of the Tick (one of the funniest programs ever), it's also got Pee-Wee, who has been SORELY ignored for his role in the original Buffy movie. "You broke my new jacket. Kill her a lot!" Ah, memories...oh yeah, and Tom Waits.
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I could have sworn that this movie came out five years ago, under the title "Blankman," and was starring Damon Wayans. Of course, this movie must be totally original. It looks as good as "Ghostbusters in Black!"
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Wow. That's amazing. 75 Million. Dunno why, but I've always looked at this film as a lower budget studio film, not that I ever gave any great deal of thought to exactly how much I expected it to cost. Too funny. The budget of mystery men is allegedly 10 million MORE than x-men. And mystery men is not exactly overrun with *high priced* stars itself. This should be interesting.
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Then I want to see it!
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Who cares about this review, MM has Tom Waits in it? He even made the god awful Queens Logic worth watching! Tell me he's on the soundtrack and I'll be there opening night! Tom Waits should play a disenfranchised Jedi in the next Star Wars movie, he gets to slap around OB1 for being such a pretentious idiot with all his ramblings about the force, and then runs him over with a monkey-shit brown El Dorado landspeeder. All while completely tanked on the cantina version of Jack!
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I've seen numerous films at the 'preview' state and without effects, alot of them fail to give the big payoff. Unfortunately, I have yet to finagel my way in for this film even though it was screened at Universal which means the filmmakers must be confident, so hopefully there will be another SoCal screening I can get into. I must see this film. ASAP. Damnit.
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ut! you all forgot about flaming carrot - not to mention bob burden!!! or are any of you actually familiar w/these names? isn't hollywood located just south of hell? location, location, location...
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