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Peter Berg is directing DUNE, but apparently his HANCOCK sucks ass... joy...

Hey folks, Harry here... I like Peter Berg - but this DUNE thing scares the shit out of me. Rather than remaking this film, I'm more behind giving the entire budget to Lynch to finish out that full scale 5-6 hour version that he made, but really didn't get to finish. BUT - ok... Berg is making DUNE.... that's a done deal. It'll be our future reality. BUT his next released film is going to be HANCOCK - and wow... JV - who saw the film up in Plano... makes this film sound like a steaming turd to avoid at all costs. HOWEVER - you do need to know that this is early in the process and that this is just JV's take - let's see if we hear from others and that it might come together. Or maybe it will just blow ass. Read at your own risk...

Hey Harry, I just got back from the first ever showing of Hancock starring Will Smith. They did the screening tonight at Tinseltown in Plano TX. Peter Berg himself was on hand. My review is as follows! So I get this mysterious email in my box last week inviting me to come to a top secret movie screening at the Tinseltown in Plano TX. There is no title, no actors, and no directors listed on this invitation. I call the box office, they are tight lipped; they can’t tell me a damn thing. Well, driven out of sheer curiosity I decide to bite the bullet and go. I figure, hell, it’s free. If it sucks ass (aka if it happens to be Kung Fu Panda) I can always get up and go and be out nothing more than an hour or so of my personal time. I show up two hours early and there is already a rather significant line formed. People are chatting, laughing, and giddy with excitement as they are all trying to guess what exactly they’re in for. “Please God; don’t let it be Kung Fu Panda.” They give the speech about no cell phones being allowed inside the theatre. They start sending us in. Security is tight. They wand each and every person that passes through, snagging numerous camera phones in the process. The theater is packed wall to wall. Folks are turned away left and right. As I’m sitting there trying to guess which film I’m about to view Peter Berg himself comes strolling in. No one other than myself seems to notice, and the only reason I notice is because I’d just recently viewed the making of The Kingdom a few nights earlier. Peter Berg isn’t the most recognized name or face in Hollywood but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t him. “Hancock, fuck yes, we’re about to see Hancock.” The people beside me look at me like I’m crazy but are soon grinning at me in awe when a messy fellow wearing coke bottle glasses steps up and announces my very prediction via microphone. Hell yes, we are the first audience ever to view it. He puts us on notice that the special effects and musical score are not finished. Blah blah blah, and off we go. I warn you, spoilers lay ahead. This movie doesn’t hit theaters until July so if you’d like to be shocked and surprised (really, the shocks aren’t shocking and the surprises are far from surprising) read no further. Here is a summary of what I’m about to say in this review for those wanting to avoid spoilers: Hancock is a severely uneven film. The first half is an amazing action comedy with some big laughs, great set pieces, and slick production value (even in its current state of incompletion), but by the second half the damn thing falls apart. They get dramatic on you. They get teary eyed on you. And the whole thing feels like a throw away episode of Friday Night Lights. The storyline is a fucking mess to be honest…I hesitate to even call it that. The tone is inconsistent and it drags like you wouldn’t believe from the middle on out. End Summary. Begin Spoilers. You’ve been warned. So the storyline is as follows. Will Smith is some god created thousands of years ago. But he doesn’t know this because he has amnesia from an attack he experienced at the hands of muggers 20 years ago (apparently he’d temporarily lost his powers back then, more on that later). He is currently in LA fighting crime and living in a trailer he rigged together. He is a real fuck up of a super hero, most of the time the damage he does in the process of trying to save people seems to outweigh the acts of good he is attempting to carry out. He is rude, messy, and just really doesn’t give a shit. So why is he helping people if he is so fucking miserable and has this whole I don’t give a fuck attitude? What is driving him to help the world around him? Well…they never really say…he just is…cause he feels like it. So one day he saves this marketing agent. And this agent is so thankful he wants to help Hancock improve his image. Which he does, he helps his image by having him turn himself into authorities for not only the damage he does but for also having sex with a 17 year old 4 days shy of her 18th birthday (this takes place early on in the film in an uncomfortable sequence where Hancock blows his super load through the ceiling of his trailer, no, I’m not shitting you). “Turn yourself in, people will miss you while you’re in prison, they’ll miss you and they’ll call out for you, I promise”. Yeah, that’s the big plan to help him improve his image…and it works…why…how…I don’t know, but it does because the script writers said it does. Oh, did I mention that in this world, this city, L.A., Hancocks abilities are never questioned. No, in fact the only thing law enforcement and the community as a whole is upset about is the damage Mr. Hancock causes while tossing whales into the ocean, deflecting bullets, and flying through the fucking air right in front of his eyes (and fucking the minor). All of this is totally acceptable; it’s just all that gosh darned damage that really gets them riled up (and fucking the minor). Anyway, back to our agent and his new pet project Hancock. So our agent is married and he just so happens to be married to Charlize Theron, and guess what, she is also a super hero, and she is actually Hancocks wife too, yes, his wife. They were created as a pair thousands of years ago (why, we don’t know, that’s just how they rolled back then). In fact we find out there were many of their kind created as pairs, but they all died out, these are the last two left. The down side to being created as a pair though is that being around one another causes each to lose their respective powers and they then become human. See the issue here? Quite a debacle indeed. Oh yes, did I mention the agent doesn’t know his wife is a super god? To make an long overly drawn out story short, the agent finds out everything, gets pissed off, there is conflict, powers are lost due to being around each other, blah blah blah, big finale….well not that big really, more of a let down….it involves fighting against crazy escaped convicts who somehow escaped from what we’re told is California’s top maximum security prison, and they then managed to attain automatic weapons…all in one days times. Yes, it is quite dumb and as unbelievable as it sounds. Honestly I was severely let down. As I write this review I like the film less and less. Will Smith was excellent. His attitude was pitch perfect. Charlize Theron was good as well, not great, but acceptable. What didn’t work however is their relationship. Zero chemistry. It was like watching paint dry. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen such an uncomfortable pairing on screen. So to wrap this up: The Good: The limited comedy and action sequences are amazing. However, you have seen almost all of them in the trailer that is online, and no, I’m not shitting you, every big laugh is in that trailer. The action sequences are a bit more drawn out in the film, but the trailer does give you a pretty sufficient taste. The Bad: The storyline sucks ass. The film creates rules and doesn’t stick to them concerning the super powers and how they work (he loses them at one point and they all of a sudden come back for no other reason than that they…well just do, it’s not explained and it is aggravating when you witness it). The drama doesn’t work with the comedy. Peter Berg seemed to think he was still directing an episode of Friday Night Lights when he was doing parts of this movie, it just really misses in a big way. My verdict, watch it if nothing else is playing. But I have no doubt this will score mega bucks when it hits the theater. Will Smith always draws a crowd and the trailer online right now makes it look a hell of a lot better than it really is. If you use this call me, ~jv~

Now we have this from Blue...

Hey Harry, Just wanted to share a scoop with you. I was able to attend a screening of Hancock tonight. Here is what I thought: I had no idea going into the theatre what movie I was going to see so the anticipation was high. We were herded into the theatre and screened to make sure we hadn't brought cameras with us. We were welcomed and told we were among the first to see Hancock and to enjoy the show. Overall the movie was quite a disappointment, at least to me. Will Smith was the only bright spot. He is so versatile and I enjoyed his ability to switch smoothly from dramatic moments to spiting out funny one liners. Jason Bateman as Rick offered some funny moments. It wasn't the actors that brought this movie down it was the plot line and pacing. All of a sudden instead of dealing with super-heroes we're dealing with mythology of gods and goddesses. I would have been fine with that twist, but it felt forced and strange. My first impression of the movie from the trailer was that it would be funny and not be as depressing as it really was. As with most movies the funniest lines and moments were in the trailer. I won't spoil the ending for you, but bottom line is that the movie did not live up to my expectations. If you would like for me to write a full rundown of the plot spoilers included than just let me know! -Blue
Readers Talkback
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  • March 18, 2008, 10:32 p.m. CST


    by skywalkerfamily

    I'm sure the movie will be huge. I mean, All of Willy's movies open big.

  • March 18, 2008, 10:33 p.m. CST


    by all

  • March 18, 2008, 10:33 p.m. CST

    I like the Ice

    by Series7


  • March 18, 2008, 10:34 p.m. CST

    Charlize Theron was good as well, not great, but acceptable.

    by Cletus Van Damme


  • March 18, 2008, 10:42 p.m. CST

    That sounds like the worst movie ever

    by IndustryKiller!

    My God how could anyone look forward to seeing that? The funniest moments are in the trailer? Thats odd because there isn't a single funny moment in that trailer. So let me get this straight. He's a thousand year old god and he meets the guy who is married to the one other thousand year old god on Earth? And apparently he fucks underage women. Good lord. What kind of low rent white trash idiot is this film aiming at? Could be a new low for Will Smith.

  • March 18, 2008, 10:45 p.m. CST

    Give Lynch more money??

    by Freefinger

    To make a 5 to 6 hour long movie that was made decades ago?!?! Come on... <P>A remake is a better option, althought personally Dune never impressed me that much. <P>As to whom should be making the remake, blah... A guy on a big worm riding in the desert... Who cares, not a whole lot of a story to go to or crap on so anyone who ever made a movie before could go at it. Heck, give it to the guy who won the first season of "Project Greenlight", at least he had a somewhat interesting storyline in his movie. He could do no wrong here.<P>The guy would want to convert the big Worm so that when it died it could go to heaven.. Nice.. I got a tear...

  • March 18, 2008, 10:49 p.m. CST

    AWW FUCK NO!!!

    by Han Cholo

    Lynch's Dune had the best everything but the stuff they added sucked like weirding modules. They'll have to go another direction with the production design that was already perfect. Why even remake this?

  • March 18, 2008, 10:50 p.m. CST


    by Series7

    Never get the big hoopla behind him and his films. I feel like its just so cool to like him and it makes you feel smart and cool. His movies are interesting and ok to watch once are twice, but I don't know how you can watch his films over and over again, minus Twin Peaks but thats more for comedic reasons. Seriously though, I think Will Smith picks movies he knows have horrible scripts, gets a upcoming director just to see if the name Will Smith Alone will be good enough to get him that $100 million a year check mark. This movie sounds worse then I, Robot. Maybe i have misplaced my faith in Berg.

  • March 18, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST

    I've watched the Star Wars flicks hundreds of times...

    by Shermdawg

    ...but I can't seem to place that quote Ender.

  • March 18, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST


    by Cinemajerk

    This screenplay sounds like total crap. Ain't gonna go near this turd.

  • March 18, 2008, 10:51 p.m. CST

    'bout Handcock...

    by Freefinger

    Hopefully they'll manage to fix it up before releasing it.<P>Especially if Berg sees these reviews...

  • March 18, 2008, 10:52 p.m. CST

    Ender, wow, keep digging that hole

    by skywalkerfamily

    You seem to have a lot of them according to Spitzer.

  • March 18, 2008, 10:56 p.m. CST



    you know you thought about it.

  • March 18, 2008, 10:56 p.m. CST

    Lynch's Dune...

    by MyManD316

    ..kinda sucked. It was probably because of my over expectations due to the hoopla from my friends, but the movie was badly acted (except Captain Picard), the special effects laughable (and I loved Blade Runner, which looked WY better and was made first), and on the whole I just felt uncomfortable with how scenes were set up and angled. <p> So, I guess I'd much rather have Peter Berg's more moderntake on the franchise (Children of Dune was pretty damned good). I love Friday Night Lights, liked Rundown, The Kingdom was passable and I guess this one is gonna suck, but one thing that you can always count on is excellent handheld style direction. Unlike the pussies that complain, I love handheld direction if done right (Bourne and Berg's movies). <p> Just imagine it, Dune done on a grand scale while being directed like Battlestar Galactica!

  • March 18, 2008, 10:56 p.m. CST

    This is My Super Ex Girlfriend 2: Electric Boogaloo

    by Han Cholo

    Except Hulk Hogan is not the baddie and Will Smith is the Hero. One can dream however: "Whatcha gonna do when the 24 inch Pythons destroy you, BROTHER?!" "AWWW HELLL NAWWW!!!"

  • March 18, 2008, 10:57 p.m. CST

    Hey Ender, keep it up. I'm sure you'll get that job

    by skywalkerfamily

    writing for porno mags.

  • March 18, 2008, 11 p.m. CST


    by Mezzanine

    I am now kind of worried. But Berg is a good director, I am sure he'll have the pacing down better by the time we see this.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:02 p.m. CST

    I'm sure it will be better than Kevin Smith's

    by skywalkerfamily

    latest masterpiece.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:04 p.m. CST


    by MyManD316

    Sounds like there's a shit ton more than pacing that's wrong with Hancock, like the whole gods angle...which is what the movie is ABOUT.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:05 p.m. CST

    page to screen

    by vaterite

    I think Dune is one of those books that is impossible to make into a film. Maybe you could do a decent job making it into two films, but the most important thing would be to have a master scriptwriter. Lynch's Dune is interesting, but also kind of like Alia, an unholy abomination.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:06 p.m. CST

    Yes, because we all know...

    by Shermdawg

    ..."Hancock" and "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" are so comparable.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:07 p.m. CST

    The movie I heard described by Berg about a year ago...

    by Bungion Boy

    sounded great. I couldn't wait. Fun cast. Fun premise. Love a special effects filled comedy if it's done well. The film described by these two reviewers sounds terrible. This makes me sad.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Damn, and I've loved all of Berg's movies.

    by s0nicdeathmonkey

    Especially VERY BAD THINGS.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:15 p.m. CST

    All this is just fuel for hating Berg

    by Han Cholo

    If he doesn't hit Hancock out of the park, everyone's gonna hate him even more for Dune, especially if that movie ends up sucking, which it most likely will. If they had the same production design for the miniseries and the inner monologues intact, along with the mini-series story, it would have been damn near perfect.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:17 p.m. CST

    Sounds like script problems more than director problems.

    by Rev. Slappy

    Isn't Michael Mann a producer on this? Oh shit! That means that Dillinger movie must be horrible! There's no way Berg's Dune can be as bad as Lynch's incomprehensible piece of shit.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:18 p.m. CST

    Sounds pretty bad.

    by TattooedBillionaire

    I like Will Smith, but the trailer did nothing for me. Now, the whole film sucks? Not good....

  • March 18, 2008, 11:23 p.m. CST


    by ragingdrunklove

    i couldnt really get a feel for whether or not this film is ACTUALLY bad from these reviews because they didn't make any sense. these reviews were so poorly written and rushed that i refuse to believe what they say. but then again, the preview looks like ass so i am just confused.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:26 p.m. CST


    by MyManD316

    Not sure what you're talking about because the first review was pretty damned clear in its plot synopsis, grammar, AND opinion (movie sucks). <p> And really, this coming from someone who doesn't even bother to capitalize? Who's rushing now?

  • March 18, 2008, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Color me shocked

    by BetaRayBill07

    Yeah this trailer did look like crap

  • March 18, 2008, 11:40 p.m. CST


    by Mezzanine

    I still think that this movie looks fun. But if it falls apart, I'll be the first to admit that I was wrong.

  • March 18, 2008, 11:56 p.m. CST

    I'm calling BS on that first review

    by critch

    Just based on the whole "I saw Peter Berg!" thing. I don't care if you did just happen to see the making of special, unless you have some kind of wonderful super-memory, you're not going to remember the director from tv to real life. And there are things on there that just don't make any sense to put in a summer blockbuster pg-13. Underage sex? Blowing your load through the roof of a trailer? Just doesn't add up. Either he's someone bitter cause he didn't get in, or there's something on the order of Hancock having a beer and cheating on his wife. And the second review is so devoid of information as to make it useless. I think I'll wait till we get some real reviews on this site, since fakes get through so easy.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:05 a.m. CST


    by JV

    Hey moron, i created an account just to respond to you. I did get in and yes, Berg was in attendance sitting in a roped off area. He was wearing a baseball cap and sporting a beard, not hard to spot, then again if you have a public school education that might not be the case for you. The blowing the load through the cieling bit is def. in there. Granted, it wasn't white semen spraying everywhere, but it was very clear what the bit was and what they were implying. And yes, the underage sex was there as well, believe it or not, and when you see it later in the year, which i'm sure you will, just please remember my review and slap yourself for being the moronic jackass that you are. I was there two hours early, rest assured little bubba, i got in, and the only thing i'm bitter about is the waste of time the movie turned out being. Here are some little bits of information I wouldn't know without seeing the film: In the trailer when the little kid calls Hancock a jackass it's actually "asshole" in the movie itself. Hancock, in the finale, is attacked by a bank robber and a crew of inmates, all of whom he busted at some point in their criminal careers. Hancock attends AA in the prison in order to become "a better hero" In short, up your ass! ~jv~

  • March 19, 2008, 12:11 a.m. CST

    this is not good news

    by Octaveaeon

    I was expecting a name that would inspire confidence. The Dune series is almost prophetic due to the wealth of themes that it treats and how they are developed. Compared to this the Lord of the Rings and Star Wars (and yes, even the Star Trek universe) seem like minor skits from sesame street or the Muppet show. Although the first movie has the most 'action', the series is NOT about set pieces, epic battles, and cool technology, even though you do find these elements throughout the books. The important things is that, in this case, the medium is the message, and here Herbert moulded the sci-fi genre to fit the exploration of some very difficult themes, if not perennial problems of human nature and social development. The hero-prophet-God-Tyrant storyline itself is actually quite relevant, seeing that it explores the tension between the modern conception of human autonomy and the authority of revealed religions, but from an another perspective; one that actually confronts us, and forces us to question what we would, or could, do under the same circumstances. This is the sort of thing that art does so well, and which makes sci-fi such an interesting genre (by abstracting from our modern perspective). And let's not even forget the whole ecological angle... Berg, Misher, Rubinstein… sorry, but, based on what I can find out about these people, I’m not assured as to the way they will approach Herbert’s universe. I did not like what Lynch did (and I’m a big Lynch admirer), but I also thought that the series were terrible, focusing mostly on the usual ‘skeleton’ approach of filming ‘key’ scenes, while completely missing the context and interplay of themes. This sort of stuff works with movies like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings because they are easier (yes, I am understating the difficulties, but just to make a comparison) to translate to the screen: the framework upon which the narrative plays outs is simple and recognizable; mostly dualistic (good vs. evil) and linearly focused (save the princess, kill the bad guy, etc.). The first Matrix movie does the same, and so does the first Dune book, but what happens thereafter is that the storyline completely turns on the very mythology that it set up in the first part, just like the rest of the Matrix trilogy did. But as we saw with the Matrix, this sort of post-modernist twist is extremely risky. The first three Dune books (the so-called trilogy) are not as self-reflexive (culturally and philosophically) as the Matrix trilogy (which doesn’t mean it is less ‘deep’; it isn’t), so it may allow itself for a more accessible directorial style without having it affect too much the richness of its story. But what happens thereafter, particularly in God Emperor of Dune, requires a much more careful, and serious, approach (the so-called “Dune 7” books should be completely ignored; they completely mis-manage what Herbert had worked so hard to develop, and even contradict one of the most important themes of the whole series). Even if they don’t get around to filming the six books that Herbert wrote, or are not planning to, they should work AS IF they are; i.e., they should adapt and film in terms of the whole series. That is how a true, and serious, adaptation should go about its business (as did Jackson – and to certain extent, the Wachowskis --, but not Lucas, who screwed up the prequels due to his debilitating technology fetish). I hope Universal doesn’t drop the ball on this one, but the signs don’t look too positive up to now.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:21 a.m. CST

    So...the movie blows, but Smith is the only bright spot.

    by otm shank

    I didn't know they would make an I Am Legend sequel so fast.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:30 a.m. CST

    Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Paul...

    by dirkadirkadirka

    he's a bit old I guess now. But he proved in The Lookout and Brick that he could pull off high school age. He's one of my favorite actors now. He'd be perfect.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:31 a.m. CST

    last post rfeferring to Dune...

    by dirkadirkadirka

    in case you wondered or cared.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:32 a.m. CST

    I honestly don't know why

    by Gungan Slayer

    people have such high hopes for this. All indicators point to it being a total suckfest. as for Dune, yeah, it's fucked. yet again.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:33 a.m. CST

    I like Lynch's "Dune."

    by kabong

    It's not without flaws, but for me it was vivid depiction of Herbert's futuristic galactic vision. Alia is one of my favorite characters. Anyone who has read "Sandworms of Dune" knows what a competent killer that little bitch ghola is. <p> Anyway, when kwisatz haderach arrives . . . <p>

  • March 19, 2008, 12:38 a.m. CST

    Hey Critch...

    by Bass Bastardson

    You do know that Peter Berg is also famous as an actor don't you? I'm sure JV recognized him from one of the dozens of films and TV shows he has been in over the years.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:49 a.m. CST

    L. Ron Jiggy

    by G-Dubs

    What's really creepy is that, thematically, this sounds like a riff on a Scientology fable - the "thousands-year-old gods tapped in base human form - confused, angry and frustrated - until [Scientology] showed them the their true inner [Thetan] form... an immortal galactic extraterrestrial god-like omniscient identity! That, and the infamous 'gift' to the crew in their wrap-party gifts of a Scientology 'personality test' coupon, indicate to me that this was a 'personal' project for Smith. I'd bet the farm that the writer and a lot of the money behind its development is from 'church' members. It certainly explains Sony's panic in preventing another "Cruise/MI3" disaster...

  • March 19, 2008, 12:57 a.m. CST

    After watching the trailer just now, 1st time

    by thebearovingian

    It looked good. It made me laugh a couple of times. Hearty laughs, not chuckles. But who I am? thebearovingian? My opinion means nothing.

  • March 19, 2008, 1:07 a.m. CST


    by Tourist

    Maybe this WILL suck, but it never looked or sounded like being anything other than disposable junk for morons in the first place. Hes shown hes proficient at handling whatever script hes given. Sort of rise to the occasion fellow. Plus, apart from being packed with strange novelty value and awesome design work, Lynches Dune, in whatever cut, was a fucking lazy mess in regards to actually telling a story. Something the books, which I'm not great fan of, were quite good at. So this is a far better choice. Besides in this world, Lynch sits in the middle when it comes to potential directors, cause I think Jodorowsky and Moebius' Dune may have been far, far stranger.

  • March 19, 2008, 1:13 a.m. CST

    I'd rather continue the Dune series already made

    by oisin5199

    despite the budget limitations, I felt like the SciFi miniseries(es) handled the material pretty well, much better than Lynch's film - of course, there will never be an adaptation that can truly do the books justice. I think they could have done God Emperor of Dune as a 2hour film, then done another longer miniseries with Heretics and Chapter House. One of the main problems with filming the whole series, though, is the whole ghola thing (need the same actor to make it work) and the whole spitting image of Duke Leto thing in the last book. They would have to hire a guy who looks like a young William Hurt.

  • March 19, 2008, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Critch, I call bullshit on your memory...

    by Tourist

    ...I could recall Berg just from fucking Chicago Hope. Don't get down on the reviewer because your small mind cant cope with facial recognition.

  • March 19, 2008, 1:17 a.m. CST

    Blows his load through the...

    by andrew coleman

    Roof. You won me there I'm in...

  • March 19, 2008, 1:40 a.m. CST


    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Lame. Just friggin' lame.

  • March 19, 2008, 1:52 a.m. CST

    hes a god with amnesia?

    by bacci40

    christ, way to fuck the whole superhero thing...but i coulda told you this was gonna suck from the trailers...wanna see a good story about a slacker superheroe, get astro city....fuck hollywood....fuck berg....and dune is gonna suck ass

  • March 19, 2008, 2:22 a.m. CST

    I ask again, Who the fuck wants to see this?

    by IndustryKiller!

    I'm sorry, are we not living in a world where Will Smith makes terrible movies? Maybe Pursuit of Happyness was alright, I didn't see it. But just about everything else he's done in the last 5 years has been horrible. Seriously are movies like Men in Black 2 and i, Robot the kind of vehicles that make you want tos ee more of an actor. Did that trailer really entice you? For fuck sake what won't you people watch. And here's another scene I heard from someone who worked ont he film. In one scene some guys try to mug SMith's character or something. As they approach him he tells them that he's going to stick one of their heads up the other ones ass, they don't listen and he makes good on his promise. So if a guy getting his hea shoved up someones ass is the kind of retarded garbage you find funny, along with statutory rape, then I guess you particular brand of idiocy has found a cinematic vessel in Hancock.

  • March 19, 2008, 3:01 a.m. CST

    What Berg should have done...

    by Literarywanderer

    Was cast Tom Cruise as Hancock, Katie Holmes as his "wife" and simply gone through a Scientology angle. Only all the powers are in Cruise's and Holme's heads and the authorities are after them. Now that would be a movie I'd see! As for Will Smith, Jesus Christ, I'm not a mean man by nature, but I simply wish he'd get cancer of the jaw so that fucking mouth of his would fall off.

  • March 19, 2008, 3:23 a.m. CST

    Berg bad movie shocker

    by kwisatzhaderach

    Who saw that coming?

  • March 19, 2008, 4:36 a.m. CST

    Can any Dune fan out there....

    by Rameses

    Tell me *exactly* where the spice comes from.Yes I know it's sand worm related ,But I read the book {ages ago} and have seen both the lynch film and miniseries ..and the exact origin of the spice still seems very confused..

  • March 19, 2008, 5:55 a.m. CST

    I Am Legend all over again

    by filmcoyote

    So going off that first review this starts pretty well but then the second half is so god awful not only does it turn a solid film to a piece of crap but it taints the good parts. It's I Am Legend all over again. Does Smith read his scripts all the way through or just the first 40-50 pages?

  • March 19, 2008, 6 a.m. CST

    Dune is screwed...

    by MJohnson

  • March 19, 2008, 6:02 a.m. CST

    Spice is...

    by MJohnson

    A byproduct of the worms' life cycle. I'd have to go back through to find the spicy details, but its there...

  • March 19, 2008, 6:51 a.m. CST

    The whole load...

    by MediaNerd

    The trailer looked fairly amusing, I'll keep an open mind on this one. <p> "Hancock blows his super load through the ceiling of his traile"... anyone who has read Heaven LLC knows god playing with his favorite creation can be very funny. GREAT comic Comic if you haven't!

  • March 19, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Acquiring The Rights To Dune To Hand It Over To Berg Is Like...

    by demiourgos

    ...Having Emeril Lagasse over to shit in your mouth.

  • March 19, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Acquiring The Rights To Dune To Hand It Over To Berg Is Like...

    by demiourgos

    ...Having Emeril Lagasse over to shit in your mouth.

  • March 19, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Acquiring The Rights To Dune To Hand It Over To Peter Berg Is Li

    by demiourgos

    ...Having Emeril Lagasse over to shit in your mouth.

  • March 19, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    Why the hate for Kung Fu Panda?

    by Bot-Bot

  • March 19, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    That first review reads like a book report

    by Bobo_Vision

    "My night at a free screening". Save all that excitement about getting an email to see a free screening, and what the bus ride to the theater was like, and bore your friends with it. Future reviewers, just review the movie, maybe mention where the screening was at the most, and perhaps any star sightings if significant.

  • March 19, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    why do these reviews always suck

    by BurgerKing

    why spend 10 fucking paragraphs telling us about your mystery envelope, no cell phones and when the director walks in. Yah, we've all heard of fucking screenings before, we know how they operate. <p> Stupid shitty reviewers.

  • March 19, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Bobo and Burgerking

    by JV

    If you don't like the review format my little bitches then you don't have to fucking read it. How pathetic are you logging on and posting just so you can bitch about a review? If you don't fucking like it or have nothing of value to add regarding the film at hand do the boards a favor and kindly shut the fuck up. The reason I wrote it the way I wrote is well....because it was my review; wow imagine that!

  • March 19, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    I'd rather see KUNG FU PANDA than HANCOCK...

    by SpyGuy

    The trailer for KUNG FU PANDA actually entertained me, as opposed to HANCOCK, which looked like a movie with decent special effects and absolutely nothing else going for it. <p>HANCOCK? Aw, HAYLLLLL no...</p>

  • March 19, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST

    If memory serves, Spice is Worm crap. Seriously.

    by CrichtonAstronut

    The worms pass through Sand excrete Spice which can accumulate under the sand and explode leaving a tell tale discoloration in the sand.

  • March 19, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Tonight He Comes...

    by PoleVault

    All over Peter Berg's Coke Bottle glasses!

  • March 19, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    Sounds like a thematic mess...

    by skimn

    I'm more psyched for new episodes of Venture Bros. this summer.

  • March 19, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    Hancock is a good movie!

    by dogface

    I was there last night as well and this review is basically wrong. The movie does not break its own rules, you were just not paying attention. They lose their powers when they grow together. Guess you missed the last half hour of the film while you were thinking about writing on this site. I will say the last half hour of the movie dragged for me a bit but this is a case of editing more than anything else. The film is funny and has plenty of action. This is a superhero movie for intelligent adults and not your typical comicbook plot and characters. As soon as I was getting tired of the frenetic pace and plot of the first half of the movie it shifted into something else equally as enjoyable. Do not let this idiotic review put you off. The movie rocks. Charlize Theron is amazing in the film and provides the type of emotional depth you don't normally see in a summer blockbuster release.

  • March 19, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    Love me some "Hancock"....

    by towerman

    ".. he helps his image by having him turn himself into authorities for not only the damage he does but for also having sex with a 17 year old 4 days shy of her 18th birthday (this takes place early on in the film in an uncomfortable sequence where Hancock blows his super load through the ceiling of his trailer"-- No wonder he's called "Hancock"

  • March 19, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    It may be that they excrete more as they hatch

    by CrichtonAstronut

    and grow and that's why the worms defend areas with large deposites, those places being nesting grounds. But from the scene where he worm exhales spice scent, it seems evident that the worms continue to produce spice in their adulthood.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    Berg not to direct "Dune," but "Zoom!"

    by Uncapie

    Remember that 80's kid series? "I want to zooma-zooma zoom. I want to shrooma-shrooma-shroom" which is what they were probably on. Big budget, action feature. I can see it.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    JV - my review of your review

    by Bobo_Vision

    JV's review is a self-indulgent pile of crap. It is the type of review where the writer talks more about himself than the actual movie. A narcissistic steaming pile of excrement which discredits the review that follows because one is left to wonder if someone that self-involved could like any movie, or anything, more than they love themselves and the boring minutia of their life.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Concerning the spice origin....

    by Rameses

    ... the talkbackers who've answered , all seem tohave the same problem i had working out exactly what the spice is.Considering that its such an importent aspect of he books ,you'd think that both the film and miniseries would have been able to clarify the stuffs origin.I was under the impression that the spice is the dried out remains of exploded dead baby sandworms that have encountered water on their way up to the sands surface...I thought that was thepoint of the *water of life* scene.But this llgoes tosow the problems of a Dune adaptation, from the midle onwards , once aul is in the desert , it all becoes very trippy and spiritual...something veeeerry hard to put across on film.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:28 a.m. CST

    Bobo - My Review of Your Review of My Review

    by JV

    Hey retard. You again make an ass of yourself. I counted 8 paragraphs where i discussed myself and my personal experiences. I then proceeded to discuss the film for 12 plus paragraphs. So no, i didn't discuss myself more than the film. Learn to read, idiot.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    I thought the spice was sandworm excrement.

    by kabong

    But the movie business makes me see shit everywhere.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    To Dogface!

    by JV

    Hey, are you bitter that you didn't get to break the review to this site or something? So because I didn't like it i wasn't paying attention? Huh? You my friend are quite the lame ass. It did in fact break its own rules. They were in the hospital, together, powers are gone. Will Smith is shot, falls to the ground, is dying, and then he somehow regains his powers even though he is still around the girl that saps his powers, that is breaking the rules. The movie sucked.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST

    "I counted 8 paragraphs where i discussed myself "

    by Bobo_Vision

    Haha, wow. You're totally right, JV. You're not self-involved at all. 8 paragraphs discussing yourself in a movie review. You sure told me.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST


    by JV

    I simply pointed out the eroneous observation in which you claimed that I discussed myself more than the film, which as you can plainly see, is not the case. Thanks for playing though.

  • March 19, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    to JV

    by dogface

    I see why you think that now but you are putting your own rules into the film. When they lose their powers, you are assuming they lose them completely. It was more of a gradual process. That being said, the rules being broken or not is a small point and will probably not have changed either of our opinions on the film so maybe I was a little harsh in my initial response to your review. Still, I found the last half of the film much more enjoyable than you did. In my opinion, as soon as the "superhero needs a makeover" plot got boring and wasn't going anywhere, the whole movie shifted. The movie, for me, went from good to great at that point. The whole subplot of two people in love who physically can't be together and the sacrifices they have to make, IMO, worked.

  • March 19, 2008, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Okay, I take it back if Berg is doing Dune

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I'm all up for a third incarnation. That doesn't mean it will be great, but this increases its chances.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:41 p.m. CST

    Michael Mann was gonna direct this for years

    by Vern

    when it had that porno title, so obviously it's not a straightup comedy. Can you imagine Michael Mann even *smiling* let alone directing a comedy? Of course not. Don't be ridiculous.<p> The trailer is pretty funny though. I don't know. I didn't read the spoilers but if it starts out funny and turns depressing I don't got a problem with that.

  • March 19, 2008, 12:50 p.m. CST

    all these awesome directors toy around with

    by Lloyd Bonafide the Korean War Veteran

    these geek movies, then never do it. I remember Ridley Scott was talking about Doom and James Cameron for Spiderman 1, speilberg for potter. How rad would that be?

  • March 19, 2008, 1:08 p.m. CST

    The Exemption Given Peter Berg...

    by Aquatarkusman

    ... for his excellent work in the underrated film "The Great White Hype" has now been revoked. Welcome to Erf!

  • March 19, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    great white hype made me laugh my ass off

    by Lloyd Bonafide the Korean War Veteran

    "1st of all i hated it...second thats not what IM ABOUT!"

  • March 19, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST


    by Rocklover79

    That is what I kept saying as I read the first review. Not because he did a bad job, but because I couoldn't believe what the hell I was reading. Are they SERIOUS?! Man, I was actually wanting to see this thing until now. Yikes!

  • March 19, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    The review starts with the sixteenth paragraph...

    by 3 Bag Enema

    ...for those of you who don't want to suffer through this idiot's drivel about nothing interesting.

  • March 19, 2008, 3:37 p.m. CST

    3 Bag

    by JV

    So I'm an idiot because I decide to write MY review MY way? Your logic astounds me. Also, interesting is a matter of opinion, hence some of the positive reviews surrounding this film, which imo, sucked. You sir are not only an intolerant douche bag waste of space asshole, but you're stupid too boot! Congrats!

  • March 19, 2008, 4:01 p.m. CST

    You know what...

    by edbig98

    These reviews are bullshit. The way these guys wrote these reviews sound too vague and too exxagerated. Reminds me of those early "Cloverfield" reviews. "Security everywhere", "Theater is tight-lipped"...Bullshit. I was at the test screening for Transformers here in AZ, and they told me straight out what it was. So I call Shenanigans!!!

  • March 19, 2008, 5:33 p.m. CST

    Dune is unfilmable!

    by 'Cholera's Ghost

    Only the saltiest sea dawg of a director could possible make a successful attempt.

  • March 19, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST

    Yeah, I agree

    by skywalkerfamily

    I go to screenings all the time. I get those giant ticket things in the mail that have the damn movie poster on them.

  • March 19, 2008, 6:30 p.m. CST


    by sleepyvillain

  • March 19, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    Stop the Press - the pacing of a rough cut was off

    by Larry of Arabia

    The test audience will never be able to help them with that. Not in a million years.

  • March 20, 2008, 12:15 a.m. CST

    Those negative reviews totally sold me on this movie.

    by Harry Weinstein

    You could level many of the same complaints against Stephen Chow's GOD OF COOKERY, and that is a goddamn masterpiece of unexpected shifts in tone. I can't write off Will Smith as a drunken, bummy superhero - this trailer worked well for me. This sounds like something really promising that just needs some fine tuning. Mood shifts are tricky - mere frames in the editing room can make all the difference between success and failure.

  • March 20, 2008, 12:17 a.m. CST


    by Harry Weinstein

    Will Smith blowing a super-load through the roof of his trailer while banging an underage girl is made of 100% pure win.