Cool News
You call him Dr. Jones, doll! Final theatrical KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL one-sheet!!!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! Awesome-Awesome-Awesome Awesome Awesome!
Awesome!
Awesome, Awesome, Awesome!
Awesome!
Readers Talkback
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u cheat!!!!!
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you cheat very big
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He's who did the last three posters, right? I'd hate to think this incorporated the dreaded Photoshop...
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Is the trailer playing before Indiana Jones or is that a rumor?
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you call him DR. JONES!!!!
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My first post here, this news moved me to come out of lurking for years. Completely amazed.
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Yeah, that's right.....
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Is anyone bothered by the motorcycle on the front? Feels too modern for a Jones pic.
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it's so nice for you to finally have an orgasm..
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botox.
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That no cookie!
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*point, point* bad news coming!
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well, I hope not...
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...surprise...<br> I didn't exactly fall in love with this thing at first sight. I hope the high-res version will soon be up.
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That's how you fucking do it baby. That's how you fucking do it!
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...is really SCARY!
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cant wait for the high res
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And Karen Allen should be up where LeBeouf is.
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is a throwback to Indy running from the Hovitos in Raiders. I like it.
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Dom DeLuise, Lucy Liu AND Ed Norton WITH Harrison Ford and the Starman Chick-That's Ninjalicious!!!!!!
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Indy shows 'em all in Hollywood how to do it. I'm so sick of posters that are just the faces of the stars. Those don't tell shit about the movie. They're just "selling stars". But Indy posters (and Star Wars posters for that matter) have a sense of theme about them. They give an impression of what the movie is about. We who are fans don't need a poster to draw us in. We're already there. But to the outsider, whom posters are really designed to draw in, classic movie poster style like this is what works. If I didn't know Indy (shudder), and saw this poster, I'd be interested. But if it was JUST actors' heads, I'd say "Meh, not interested". So, big points to Lucasfilm. Glad they're sticking to tradition. Now, I can't wait for a film on FILM, opening with the Paramount Mountain, and some stunt men doing stunts!
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Does this make the Teaser Poster any less cool? I hope not. That's hanging over my computer. Still... awesome poster. I can't wait to see this. As much anticipation I have for The Dark Knight, this movie is much higher on my priorities list. May 22nd can't get here soon enough.
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I think the way Marion's and Mac's heads are stuffed in there looks a bit odd...
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I'd say this summer's posters have been pretty great so far. The Dark Knight posters have been outstanding, my favorite being the Joker Standing Behind the Frosted Glass poster. The Indy posters have ruled, I quite liked the Happening poster, the Wall-E poster and the Iron Man teaser poster. Good summer for poster lovers.
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He no nuts, he's crazy!
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Those aren't big birds, sweetheart! They're giant vampire bats!
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I love this poster, it's beautiful. Please please please use this for the DVD/Blueray release, don't commit the same crime as the Starwars prequels, all of which had AMAZING posters and the shittiest DVD covers imaginable, for no goddamn reason.
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That poster is sweet..that is all.
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There's gonna be two dead people in here! Hurry!
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This is shopped, I can tell by some of the pixels and from having seen quite a few shops in my time.
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The Indiana Jones Monopoly game has been leaked at The Raider.net the line "It's not the mileage, it's the years" IS in the film. Check my posts people I said it months ago.
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I SAID ...cut it OUT! - uuhhhhhrrghhhhh
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p.s. that's an alien-lookin' skull.
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Indy is just too big, the cropped hat reeks of amateur hour photoshop. That said it has a nice old school feel to it… I hate Icon type posters… ’89 Batman, Jurassic Park, X-men…… posters used to be little teaser trailers all to themselves.
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Is Burt Reynolds in this too..?
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I need to get that one
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Is it me or does Harrison Ford face look fucked up in that poster?
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That's a darn beautiful poster! I thought Struzan's talent was fading, but I was wrong. We all know when Struzan's at his best, there's no better movie poster out there. It's nearly perfect for me, but to be picky... I wish Blanchett, LaBeouf, Winstone and Allen were different sizes (for composition's sake). I think Struzan's best posters are Temple Of Doom, Phantom Menace and Attack Of The Clones. The composition and sizing are spot on.
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... to make room for more Shia.
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hope it is. <p>
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March 10, 2008, 4:18 a.m. CST
Anyone know when GL will go back to small experimental films?
by Hideo Kojima
Like he said he was going to do after Episode 3 (awesome btw just like the rest of the holy prequel triology) I would love to see some experimental stuff in the vein of THX1138.. and whatever happened to RED TAILS, dammit? Indy 4 will rock though and you haters can suck it... Speaking of haters, TOD haters need to wake up. Temple of Doom shits all over Last Crusade in terms of spills, chills, and thrills.. The first 20 minutes of TOD is pure 30s serial and the remanining is pure pulp. Raiders is the most serial-like of the lot, TOD is pulpy.. so what is Last Crusade? 1930's depression era pre-war slapstick? probably. crystal skulls will be a 50s b movie pulp... yes I repeated this from the other talkback but let's be honest that is... ok I'm rambling now.
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Dom DeLuise (Victor Prinzim / Captain Chaos) from cannon ball run , or is it just me????
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Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck! Now Just Don't Suck!
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I like
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huh, what's wrong with this skull...? It's a fly's skull!!!
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THAT'S a poster for an event film. Perfect. Ford's image captures his age without taking away from Indy's cool, charisma and status. The composition is nice and balanced, the border's great and adds atmosphere and the bottom action image is a perfect Indy image. Fits perfectly with the other three films in quality and tone and I have strong hopes that the film will do the same. <p><p>Hideo, if there's anything these KOTCS talkbacks have shown it's that there's a lot more love for Temple than most people think. Just luck at how many TOD quotes fill the above posts.
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Don't those black vines all around the edges look like they are covering up details that would have extended off the edge of the coppring? They don't look like a natural part of the painting. And it does look like the reason is to blow up Shia and make him more central.
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Spielberg firing on all cylinders.
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Temple of Doom and Attack of the Clones posters are genius.
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instead of the usual photoshopped garbage most Hollywood studios give us. The movie poster used to be an artfom in itself. Nice to see some old-style artwork. Well done Dod and Steve! (Now, the movie better be GOOD!)
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It's the same poster we've been seeing over and over again for years. If someone had said to me "What do you think the Struzan final Indy one sheet will be?" I would say "a big Indy head with all the other major characters satelliting around it." If you were skeptical and all you need was this to alleviate your fears then I suggest you put your guard back up because it really doesn't mean anything. It's just a rehash.
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March 10, 2008, 5:20 a.m. CST
And this isnt a criticism but what the fuck is on Ray Winstones
by IndustryKiller!
He looks hilarious. Like a snooty French painter or an extra from Newsies. I don't mean that at all as a criticism, I'm just sayin.....
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Chest puffed out, pelvis tilted, and arms swinging on both sides. Run, Grandpa, Run! <p> The man of adventure is going to be skewered by the natives because of the arthritis is his hip. More tragic than exciting.
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Put a light behind someone, you'll see what I mean.
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And Cate Blanchet's hair looks silly.
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Yes, it does look like the other Indiana Jones posters. That's a very good thing. It's still a great piece of art in itself, the fact it matches with the others hopefully says a lot for the motivations and tone of the final film. Anyone wanting something completely different just for the sake of it is either stupid or a hypocrite who would have bitched about how a montage of floating photographed heads above an explosion looked too modern for an Indy poster and why couldn't they have stuck with the old style...
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...Indy's fear of snakes is actually Freudian, and stems from a childhood incident where Indy's Uncle took him to the basement to show him his "python".
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You show how ignorant you are of graphic design when you say you hope it didn't incorporate the dreaded Photoshop. PS is the industry standard and every poster and piece of advertising created in the whole fucking world uses it or something very much like it to some extent. The poster could have been drawn by hand and digitally painted and other Adobe producted used for the type and other non-art elements. Pull your head out of your ass.
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Awesome, though? Nah. I think its funny how Indy looks kinda tired and almost a little sad and confused. As if he was saying "I'm 75 years old. I shouldn't be doing this anymore. Where is the remote? Whats my name again?"
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I place Temple of Doom and Attack of the Clones 2 and 3 on Struzan's best list. Take another look at Phantom Menace. It terms of overall character likeness, sizing and placement, as well as just plain artistic beauty and composition, I think it's Struzan's all-time best.
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wtf is so great about that
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I find it quite disappointing and a little ridiculous that we can't download high-res scans of Struzan's best posters online. "www.impawards.com" do their best, but sometimes they're just not out there. I wish I could find pristine high-res scans of all the Indy posters (including Amsel's Raiders) and all the Star Wars prequels and SE's. Why aren't they out there? Are you listening Lucasfilm, Fox and Paramount. Would it be so difficult to provide?
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I think Indiana should look a little tired an world weary. He is supposed to be in his fifties after all. I always picture Indiana as the kind of hero that can't help but avoid trouble no matter how hard he tries. He doesn't want to get in over his head but manages to anyway. <p> By the way, I heard a while back that they took out the old Indy from the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. Does anyone know if this is true?
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Now THAT'S classic Indy. Beautiful, adventurous, and exciting all rolled up in one poster!
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Can't wait for May
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March 10, 2008, 6:05 a.m. CST
Holy Fuck, that's the best poster I've seen in years
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Fuckin BRING IT.
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March 10, 2008, 6:10 a.m. CST
man 80's posters rule. So many great images
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
The Indys', Empire and Jedi, Dark Crystal, Darkman, The Elm Sts, Back to the Futures' and many others.
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...it really is the right word.
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the Cannonball Run? Why else is there Dom Deloise in this thing? I still have high hopes for this one.
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May 22 is closer every day. I must live!
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I loved them though I was very young the posters actually made the movie seem better just because they were such damn masterpieces. It'd affect how you viewed the film. I mean I knew Hamill didn't have those pecks or no shot in the movie was as epic as some of the art work for the movies but it was still real to me dammit...
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...she's posing for a real estate ad. Not exactly an adventure movie pose. "Hi, I'm Marion, and I've sold over 200 homes"
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He's the last of his kind, long may he reign over inferior photoshop montage.
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Marion looks to happy, Cate looks too Chinese, Ray Winstone looks too fat. Indy looks good.
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indys nose is flat. [/poster ruined]
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they show the skull in full glory, i guess the whole "aliens might be connected" isnt meant to be a surprise. nice poster though, but yeah Indy's head is a little too big...he should indeed be bigger than the rest but either he's too big or their too small. but nice nonetheless.
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March 10, 2008, 7:10 a.m. CST
i have to agree, and I know everyone was waiting for me to...
by cornponious
But I have to say one thing. Karen Allen, though she is still as hot as ever, is seen smiling too much. I'm a bit worried. She just doesn't seem as hard-edged and full of, oh, say "spunk" as in the first film. I don't care that she is 27 years older. It's just... worrisome. <p> That being said, overall it looks like it's going to be a hoot.
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is responsible for that fucked up trailer and this sub-optimal poster. I mean this is probably better than most of the poster art produced by big studios. But it's a fucking Drew Struzan poster... So why does it look so cram-full, why do some aspects of it look more photographed than painted,...why are Marion's and Winstone's heads put in there so randomly?? Why?
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Yeah, it's lame that's she's staring at us with a dopey smile. In a movie poster, the characters should be posed in ways that reveals their personality. Although, now that I think about it, it's EXACTLTY the same pose Kate Capshaw has on the Temple Of Doom poster. Ya know what folks, we're all just too darn critical!
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March 10, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST
the Red Coats are coming, the Red Coats are coming!
by just pillow talk
Run for your lives!<p>Now, I have no idea if this will be good or not, but I am still very hopeful that it will be. But damn people, are all of you prone to hating this? If you had a problem with the trailer, fine, but nitpicking to death a movie poster?
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I think I'll print one out and foul it up. I recall when Crusade came out I clipped the one-sheet from the paper and had it up on my bulletin board at college for the entire year.
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he's waiting for a delicious pie to cool on the 'sill
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have a good weekend guys? I saw OH got hit hard with the snow
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Didn't think you could make it because of your cubicle shuffle, but glad to see ya drop in. Any 2true sightings over the weekend? I haven't checked the other TBs.
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I didn't even notice you'd posted in front of me. That's how awake I am. Sigh...
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The pic of victoria beckham between indy and winstone?
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three-plus feet in the drifts. I plowed my drive three times, only so my wife could get out. Otherwise, we were snow bound. My daughter and I killed some time saturday night watching Empire Strikes Back, because I wanted to see the real Hoth, and some wampa action. Tell you what, I really don't like the additions Lucas made to the SE (he had Temuera Morrison redo the famous Boba Fett lines, and he redid the sequence where Vader talks to the Emperor hologram--they added a line where Palpatine tells Vader that Luke is the son of Anakin Skywalker, in case Darth didn't know. Or something). The extra background CGI in Bespin doesn't rankle me as much, but still, it wasn't needed.
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I think I'm moving tomorrow so that sucks the big one. But i did see a trailer for Bad Biology and it had a person(?) with a vagina for a face and that made my day
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is a serving of Honeybaked Ham.
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New Hope was probably the biggest botch with the Jabba shit. Seriously the second he came onto screen I was thinking "What the fuck are they doing?"
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March 10, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST
I have a 10 foot high cardboard cutout of
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Last Crusade that I got from the theatre. Along with my framed Darkman poster and my light up glass Darth Maul lighsaber(with appropriate sound effects and awesome lightsaber extension/reduction), its one of my favorite possessions.
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never connected the dots before.
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Beautiful! Wonderful! Awesome!
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turning my ride over to the valet this morning.<p> http://tinyurl.com/2fu6r7
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just to check out the new stuff. I'd always known they shot the Jabba stuff with a guy, and wanted to see what Lucas did with it. I like the Boba Fett cameo, but in all it was just not necessary, nor was the other Mos Eisley CGI stuff. I know Lucas felt he was making it the way he'd always wanted it to be, with the latest technology, but the point is there wasn't anything WRONG with it in the first place. I didn't bother with the other two SEs in theatres.
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and I'm tired as hell stupid time change. I must say that I do like the way the crystal skull looks now.
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March 10, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST
Abominable, you should have watched Empire
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
The CG additions were minimal and felt way more organic than the other two's additions. Also, a cleaned up Hoth rocked my world.
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on Saturday. I have the SE DVD set at home. But in 1997 when they first redid the OT, in anticipation of the first prequel, I saw New Hope in theatres. I agree with you that the Empire additions are less obstrusive and yeah, do feel more natural
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March 10, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST
The only extra stuff in Jedi that felt right
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
were the celebration scenes, but they had to fuck it up by removing the Ewok victory music.
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...meticulous little fucknuggets. So, Marion is "too smiley" in the poster? Is this how fucking cynical, joyless, pointless and abysmally vacuous you internet cinetards have become? <p> Fuck each and every one of you, long and hard, and at the business end of a seven-foot lumberjack. <p> Oh, how I despise you.
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- this poster isn't very well designed. A real hodge-podge from a compositional point of view. Could this have been tampered with in post perhaps? Can't believe Drew's become this clumsy without any editorial "help".
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March 10, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST
I saw them all at the flicks just because it was
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Star Wars, but Empire was the only one which recieved additional viewings.
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Struzan has been using pretty much the same arrangement for decades. See his STAR WARS SE and prequel posters, his Harry Potter posters, his Indy II and III posters. I love his photorealistic painterly style, but boy is it rather anti-climactic to see a new poster from him nowadays. I would have preferred he did something more focused and scene-like, like his GOONIES poster (remember the kids stacked, hanging from a stalagtite?). That said, this poster will still end up in my collection :-)
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fuck these whining brats. Thats a real fucking cool poster.
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I sent the image to you and the warciples via regular email. Hopefully that'll work. Not a big deal.<p> After plowing my drive this weekend, I set up an ion cannon in my front yard. You know, so the rebel transports could get off safely
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March 10, 2008, 7:56 a.m. CST
Struzans Hook poster is fuckin Ace
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
heck, I even like his Cutthroat Island poster.
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...to DIE!!!
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thanks brother! keep an eye out for probe droids as well. They never warm up their instruments before
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I think Marion looks cute. I don't know what those other guys want? For her to be doing cartwheels in the poster?
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Kloipy/Abom...I thought my shield generators were going to get knocked out by the wicked wind we had over the weekend. I wasn't sure I would get back to the rendezvous point.
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March 10, 2008, 8 a.m. CST
Another 80's poster I fuckin love is...
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Robocop 2. The one where he is coming out of the hole in the wall. The movies not as good as the first but man, Kane getting high still cracks me up.
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a kickass Kane line.
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it was windy as shit on saturday and cold as ice, it was willing to sacrifice my coat
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you just quoted my single favorite moment from any movie EVER.
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The Hook poster is a beauty.
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Oh yeah, TPM poster is immortal. I still think the main reason I was disappointed with the film was because the trailer and poster were just genius.
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You betrayed Shiva!
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March 10, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST
Hook as a film certainly has its flat moments
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
but Hoffman kicks ass as Hook(I see it as the ying to Jason Isaacs yang.
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Fortune and glory.
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Mola Ram, Sidda Ram....
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And that's enough from me. G'night all.
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was for the first Munchies movie. A little monster, smoking a cig, clutching a womans leg and looking up her skirt
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that ugly little fucker coming out of the dunny.
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oops wrong flick.
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Ghoulies was the shit. lit and fig
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March 10, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST
God i love all of the Elm St posters(except the 6th)
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
All the others were incredible for their imagery.
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I'm a giant Drew Struzan fan, but this poster is poorly designed and flat out ugly. It never would have passed muster circa 1985.
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That Munchies comment made me laugh till I cried. Well not really. But it was funny.
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Was hoping my wife and non-fanboy friends would gasp, "Hey, that's what's her name! From the first one!" in the theater opening night. Then I'd yell, "shut the hell up!"
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"Ding, Dong, Dead"
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Nice.
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If you love EC it's a wet dream
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TAPE LOST, WATCH REAPER
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What truck? Great poster - hurry up May 22
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The antidote ... to the poison you just drank Dr. Jones ...
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This poster is great, and so was the trailer... this and dark knight are by far the most exciting prospects this year... but lest we forget the prequels...
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That's an awfully small guy!
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Lao Che: Masta Pimp
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They're making me like, DO STUFF at work. Hmpfh!
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March 10, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST
DarkHawke, I went in expecting a kids movie
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Indy, though by no means adult fare certainly is meant for a more mature audience.
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Awesome! Awesome! Finally I agree! Awesome!
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March 10, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST
GO TO PANKOT PALACE AND FIND SIVALINGA AND BRING BACK TO US
by BringingSexyBack
And if you have time, free our children from slavery too.
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the posters for Timerider and Megaforce. Actually, I really do like the Timerider poster.
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Is a day you gotta take off!
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March 10, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST
Even the lighthearted Last Crusade had some
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
visceral violence(albiet cartoon like) such as when Indy shoots the Luger through the Nazis, and when Henry Sr shoots the tank cannon into the truckload of guys.
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You make a good point. That Indian guy was asking a lot of Indy. And why did Indy agree? It's like, "Um, no. We just got dumped out of an airplane after being poisoned and shot at a night club. We need a day off. Sorry about your Sanka stone, or whatever."
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Kind of like the last 8 years of Bush.
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March 10, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST
Hey guys, remember he did offer them filth to eat
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
they owed this village for like a months labor.
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I like the idea and everything, but my god, what's with all the white around the characters in the center of the poster? The back-lighting makes sense, but NOT WHEN THE CHARACTERS ARE IN FRONT OF OTHERS. Winstone shouldn't have any of it, and it should be toned down on Blanchett. Look at the older ones, they are based on the same idea (bright instances in the poster, with lighting on the characters reflecting that), only they didn't overdo it, and they didn't have it where it didn't fit. It doesn't really look very good as it is, but it can be fixed pretty easily.
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"Sure, I'll find your Sanka stones and rescue your kids from slavery. But first, why don't you SUCK my YANKEE DOODLE. C'mon Shorty, let's go Sweetheart. We're OUT of HERE."
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Viagra.
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Let me die, let me die. But he does not, and I wake up to a world where Rob Zombie remade Halloween with a bunch of hillbillies and COPS rejects.
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March 10, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST
Hey BSB, try having a squinty eyed pensioner
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
in charge. Our leader was a blight for 10 freakin years. He took from the poor and gave to the rich, but thats not his most heinous crime. The man who led Australia and who loved cricket, could't bowl the length of a cricket pitch. The image of him tossing a ball 2 ft and having it bounce and roll maybe 3 more is forever burned in my brain.
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Can I at least get a fork? And some of that Tikka Masala you're hiding in that pot over there?
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like he did with the swordsman in Raiders. "Find your stones? Rescue your kids? Tell you what. Why don't you have some of THIS?" <p> BLAM BLAM
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"If you have time, save our children from slavery too." <p> Hilarious.
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as soon as Indy and the gang left for their trek to Pangkot, the indian village broke out a truckload of Big Macs and Papa John Pizzas and ate it, with the Indian guy pointing in their direction and laughing his toothless laugh.
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March 10, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST
WELL HE WAS CONNED INTO THE COALITION OF THE WILLING
by BringingSexyBack
That doesn't say much about his intellect. Whatever happened to that coalition anyway? They went home?
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March 10, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST
Yeah, they just wanted to see the blonde
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
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see the blonde eat goat shit.
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and our womens' good looks. If you have time, can you shave the goatbush from our womens' nanoos?
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March 10, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST
Yeah for two supposed guys of intellect
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Ol' John Howard and Tony Blair sure backed a dud horse huh?
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"Then all your bases are belong to us!! Muahahhahaa!!!!" <p> (Flings whip) Whuppassssshhhh!!
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...who fell from the sky. So the funny is not that they asked so much of him, but all they asked for was the stones. Because with the stones, their crops and water would come back. But they didn't ask Indy to bring the kids back. Indy just sort of took on that mission on his own. Hence, the funny.
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Bumblebee Tuna. Excuse me, your balls are showing. Bumblebee tuna...
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March 10, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST
WHAT'S EVEN FUNNIER IS EVEN WILLIE AND SHORT ROUND
by BringingSexyBack
wanted to leave without the kids. hehe!
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I pray to Sheba let me die but, he does not.
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"Did you try stabbing yourself?"
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Did you try that?
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Sheba's a brand of cat food. hehe!!
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you strangle some of their chickens, you burn down their fuckin hooch? You say sorry bout that. Let me hear you say it Erickson.
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Sadly, two of them fell in the goddamn river when I was trying to keep my heart from being torn out of my chest. And the one I did save, the batteries wore out and the plastic casing is cracked. I think Wal-Mart has the same model on sale this week. Oh, and I found your kids, but most of them refused to come back because they're eating better as slaves than they did here"
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SMACK!!<p> "Wait! He's MINE! He's MY little fortune cookie funtoy!"
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March 10, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST
fuckin jesus snowcone, keep it up.
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
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March 10, 2008, 9:32 a.m. CST
For cryin out loud there's a kid driving the car
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
Indiana Jones, child labor exploitation at its finest.
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March 10, 2008, 9:34 a.m. CST
I wonder how much indy paid to Jolie-up Short Round
by NomoredirtyjokespleaseweareYanks
I always knew his hookup story was bogus.
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"Well one day I found a magic golden lamp in a cave, and when I rubbed it, Shorty popped out, baseball cap and all, with an order of Mu Goo Gai Pan, a cup of Won Ton soup and an eggroll. Marcus wouldn't take him at the museum."
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"I burnt my fingers and I CRACKED a nail!"<p> SMACK! SLAP! "I'll crack your nail, Blondie!" SMACK! CRACK! "Do you have any MORE antidote in those bazoongas of yours, doll?"
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Willie: Your potato? What have you and this kid been up to? <p> Indy: Heh, I don't know what he's talking about. (blush)
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They all look the same. Just like the prequel posters. What happened to that bad ass Empire Strikes Back poster, why can't they be more like that?
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I hate snakes, Jock! I HATE EM! That, and movies where the lead is clearly past his prime and going for the paycheck! This is my friend Jar-Jar--I mean, Shia!
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and Ford looks too young.
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It makes him look older than he actually looks in real life. It's the eyebrows. And Cate Blanchett's eyes are too far apart!?! I'm not a poster freak but this is obviously done by the same people who did the prequels posters so I don't get what happened here. And I didn't know Meathead was in this movie either. When did that happen?
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March 10, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST
You know it's bad when poster Indy emotes more than real Indy
by SpyGuy
Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard...Please check Harrison Ford and make sure he still has a pulse...
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Written by Mel Brooks.
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Great poster. And it's definitely kicking it in the old school classic style. The imagery works - I like it.
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...is the comment messi left on CHUD's article.
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http://tinyurl.com/3c4fun
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...is the best sequence in all of the Indy films! I always wished they'd go back and do a whole movie based on the Shanghai opening.
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I have to respectfully disagree. IMHO, nothing beats the Indy going after the Ark on horseback / whip-under-truck maneuver sequence. One of the most perfectly executed and memorable scenes in all of film. That's when everyone knew (if they hadn't already figured it out by then) that Indiana Jones was an absolute badass.
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It looks exactly like every other poster by this artist, or anyone else who's copied him. Big main character face in the middle, surrounded by smaller supporting cast members, and a scene of the movie at the bottom. Big effing deal Quint. Prepare to be dissapointed just as much with this film as you were with the SW Prequels. I'm prepared for it, so should everyone else be.
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is okay, but not great because it's too damn comical. It asks to not be taken seriously, so we don't. I mean, a flaming shishkabob to the chest? A frantic search for a diamond on a dance floor, and a container of ice is conveniently spilled? The opening to Raiders is the best.
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Nice try, Lao Che!
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and saw Willaim Sadler's rock hard buttocks. Wow!
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Very funny, George. Haha.
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McClane getting pwned by a traffic cop, and William Sadler doing nekkid Tai Chi? <p> GOLD!
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Skull is just gonna be over-lit safe 'action' with no danger, unlike in Raiders where you REALLY FEEL that any second Indy could fall under that truck. The truck chase stunts are better than anything that could possibly appear in Skull.
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Looks pretty bad ass.i'll have to dust off the boxset before that's released
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There is a face in the stone across from the band on Indy's fedora in the upper left hand corner of the poster.
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the skull looks stupid.
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That musical number really bugged me. And what made Indy cool (for me) was that he was both scholar and adventurer, so seeing him haggle over selling some archeological relic for a diamond just didn't feel right.
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you look real familiar to me.<p> I get that a lot. I've been on TV. With my rock-hard glutes.
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What's the deal with Blanchett holding a saber in her hand? I thought this movie was to take place in the 1950s not the 1750s. Isn't she supposed to be a Russian officer? Put an AK-47 or something modern in her hand. Also, does anyone get the impression that if you put a Nazi helmet on the crystal skull you got the Vader mask?
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I'd have to point to Night of the Living Dead. It's creepy and really strange and just really sets the tone for the rest of the movie.
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March 10, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST
Systemsbroom, I didn't like the opening to Temple either.
by NoDiggity
A musical number? For five minutes? With hideous closeups of that woman's face throughout. And Indy trading a historical artifact for a boring looking piece of cut glass was utterly out of character. Then you had to believe that a guy who has been poisoned will gradually become more and more agile in his attempt to retrieve the antidote to the poison that should be making him less and less agile. And we are supposed to buy that the bad guys would sacrifice a valuable airplane and risk the dangers of parachuting, rather than simply shooting Indy and Willie in their sleep.
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because it's a quick recap of Evil Dead one, and gives you a taste of the greatness that is Ash. How would you like to give your girl a necklace, then an hour later behead and dismember her?
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he didn't dismember her. That's why she comes back as a zombie. He couldn't do it till later.
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How is this for a fucked up beginning-<br> Camera opens inside a house and starts slowly going from the 1st floor up the stairs to the hallway where we see the some low light coming from a room towards the back of the house. We hear a man grunting and a woman moaning in ecstasy, the camera slowly pans into the room where we see a guy ramming someone from behind. The camera moves closer in and just almost out of frame you can see a television on with a porno playing (that's where we hear the moaning from), the camera slowly moves beside him to reveal he is having sex with a headless corpse. Cut to titles.<br> That's how I'm opening Tremors 5
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what the hell do you cyber linguists mean by 'pwned'?! I see this all the time and it annoys the hell out of me. what is this?
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SPOILER: they are in Abom's mouth...
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I'd even venture to say that the Sixth Sense has a great opening. It was really fucking creepy the first time you saw it. Any time an emaciated adult is standing in someone elses bathroom, only briefs(or what looked like an adult diaper) that's some scary shit
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When I banged your mom over the weekend she told me she hates you.
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u silly little bitch. you made my day!
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I can appreciate how the musical number sort of foreshadowed a lot of what happened later, but yeah, it was too long, and annoyingly out of place. <P> I also felt bad for that asian waiter character, who was introduced so that he could die for Indy. But aside from the intro and that embarrassing palace feast segment (monkey brains and live snakes? C'mon, George, these are *Indians* for chrissakes. They aren't *that* freaky or exotic), the rest is great.
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I think part of the character arc in Temple of Doom was to show Indy changing his ways from "forture and glory" hunter to altruistic hero (the movie took place before Raiders, after all).<p> Of course, this would later be contradicted in later stories (Indy III and Young Indy), which showed Indy as being a pretty stand-up guy throughout his life. Unless Temple of Doom was just a glimpse of his "dark years". Man, am I reading too much into this or what?
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A fair assessment, but Crusade would have us believe that even as a boy scout, Indy knew that important artifacts "belong in a museum!" Of course, between the ages of 14-30, I'm sure he discovers women, and academia, which might make him semi-interested in earning respect, if not fame, as an archeologist. Those dudes in Raiders sought him out for a reason. I myself am an expert spelunker of glovedone's mom's wondrous caverns.
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Raiders had snakes. Temple had bugs. Crusade had rats. now it looks like Kingdom has Shia. I keed, I keed (though he seems to be in every movie ad nauseaum these days, he's not a bad actor). Seriously though, any word on whether Spielberg and company upped the ante with another creepy crawly animal in Indy 4?
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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Poon
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Awesome!
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Yeah, I get that there is an arc in Temple where Indy starts off as more of just a treasure-hunter and ends up caring more about spiritual stuff, but I don't really like that arc. I'd rather that Indy was just simply a badass adventurer out to preserve and study pieces of history.
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It has that rushed cheap feel like the super sharp, cutout, new Star Wars movies posters... Not cool and more murky and painterly like Star Wars, Empire, or even Raiders of the Lost Ark... Jaws...Bakshi's Lord of the Rings... and the design seems odd with Harrison's head just a bit... a bit clumsy compared to the above mentioned posters. The bottom half is good!
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Yeah, I agree with that. The out-to-get-rich aspect of Dr. Jones probably one reason why TOD is the least watched of the Indy movies in my collection. The other is the incongruency of Indy saying he doesn't believe in magic and superstition a year later in RAIDERS.
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just because God created you retarded and gave you female genitalia, doesn't give the right to be so angry. Embrace your life. If that doesn't work, you can always play checkers by yourself, wearing the helmet to protect your "crystal skull" while rubbing your vagina
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that its awesome... or am i confused? :)
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Giant Fire Ants. I kid you not...
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Why'd it have to be giant fire ants?
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http://www.indianajones.com/site/media/downloads/posters/ij4-poster33.jpg
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Shia's character name is Mutt Williams. Mutt? And Winstone's character, Mac, is like an amalgam of Marcus and Sallah. John Hurt is cast in an as-yet unknown role.
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Why not just throw some Rodents Of Unusual Size in there, too??
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Just because Abom's got more access to vagina than you'll ever have doesn't mean you still can't dream. <p> Now, go the fuck away because nobody here is soliciting for your bullshit.
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I'm still not thrilled withthe idea that we wasn't really dead (or, perhaps, he's a zombie!) but I'm holding onto fleeting hope that the retconned reasoning for his "return to life" is a good one (I assume it'll be that he was captured and held b/c of his knowledge of the skulls.)
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Though it's an awful long time to remain captured and alive.
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good to see ya, man
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just look real hard, turn it upside down, revese it, then turn it around again. Shermdawg knows it's true.
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Yeah, I read that someplace too. Knowing Steve and George, they'll probably have the long-'dead' Professor Abner come back to earth on the Alien spaceship, to be welcomed home during a tearful embrace with daughter Marion. And he'll probably have alien secrets to give Indy to beat the commies in the race for the uh, skull or whatever. Then they'll dine on ham and prune juice and shit their pants.
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Warciples, ride
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No Jonathan Rhys-Davies = poo.
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that kills me every time Abom
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it's good to be back. Though work is going to keep me busy all day and night for most of this week. <p> A little birdie told me there was some Indy news today, though. <p>
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How would you know about the vagina quota that Abom (questionably) gets? You guys are flaming!
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March 10, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST
Then they'll dine on ham and prune juice and shit their pants.
by finky089
hahaha <p> I hope the movie ends on that EXACT cue. They shit teir pants, 1,2,3 - then cut to the credits and the Raiders march theme.
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"Kloipy, Abom, Pillow, follow me! I know the way!" <p> "Got lost in his own Talkback, you say?" <p> "Yep."
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I wonder why we don't have more movie posters like this, instead of the usual lazy Photoshop montages that are quickly forgotten about. There are lots of great illustrators that should be hired to create posters.
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more than the "strict dick" diet your dad mandates for you.
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A great reference from the end of Crusade, the banter between Indy and Pops.<p> Following the Warciples on their adventures can prove to be...enlightening. Like a FLK.
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just when i thought that the funky,sloppy, abom triad couldn't get any gayer...
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I picture the Indy Theme blaring while he's putting on his booties, walking down the hall to the rec room to eat pudding and put together a puzzle of a Thomas Kincaid picture of a snowy cottege
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and hope he goes away, like a retarded bumblebee. He knows his mom is a total Sleestack, with a giant callous on the back of her head from the number of times she's been donkey-punched.
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loves ass-pickles.OWNED!
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to complete his puzzle, Indy will query the nursing staff to see if they've found his dentures (even though he's wearing them). His costume will consist of the aforementioned booties, powder blue pajamas, a dingy pink bathrobe, and the fedora. Instead of a whip / manpurse there may be a colostomy bag and / or IV tubes, trailing to an IV wheeler that he drags around. But I don't want him too fettered. It's hard to play shuffleboard that way.
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Now there's a trustworthy source...
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Seems there's just alot of "cheats" for Lucas and SS to overcome to make Abner's return viable, but here's hoping. <p> For me, the Ark stands as one of the biggest obstacles. I mean, Indy and Abner supposedly worked very close together and Indy knew the Ark was "his obsession, really." So much so, that the Nazis sought him out above all others when they found Tanis. Are we now to believe that either Indy had no idea about his mentor's "other" passion? Or did he know all along and we never knew about it? <p> I guess it's possible, too, that maybe Abner "inherited" an artifact or some vital information from another person (a colleague?), but maybe didn't realize how vital the info or artifact was until he was captured. And then was never released because he "knew too much", but could still be of use when/if his captors got close to solving the riddle of the crystal skulls.
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we get it already. Indy is getting old. next!
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Holy shit you guys shoulda pitched that.
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Yeah, good title man.
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SPOLIER: it's in Finky's digestive system after he ate it out of Abom's ass.OWNED!
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Mola Ram: "Good idea!" <p> (Goes for heart)
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but when captured they 'forced' him to begin a new search.
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March 10, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST
INDIANA JONES AND THE MYSTERY OF KLOIPY AND ABOM'S "FRIENDSHIP"
by glovedone
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if at the end of this movie, Indy woke up in a hospital bed, he's 87 years old and his family is sitting in the room around him, grandkids watching the TV, Indy's kids just reading magazines. He slowly sits up in bed and starts to tell them the story of the the Ark, but the kids aren't interested and the parents just look at the watch and say<br> "Ok dad, looks like we gotta get out of here now. but we will see you in 2 months for Easter, ok? You just rest. Bye."<br><p> Then they leave and it closes on Indy, alone and old in a nursing home room by himself, staring out a window as a tear rolls down his cheek
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if you didn't say stupid shit all the time
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Or if in a little box he has a little mouse that does tricks? Oh wait....
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Did you ever get that one out of Abom's ass?
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I didn't say wiki is the be-all-end-all for veracity. I just pointed out that this is what they have posted about Indy 4.<p> Kloipy, I like your poignant scene with grandpa Indy being abandoned by the grandkids and weeping silently. If Ford plays the role, he will win an oscar. There's no debate.<p> Indy's daily routine at the home should consist of finding seemingly mundane objects, like some old lady's knitting needle, and Indy will find it and think he's found "The Diving Probe of Sal-Mon-Ra" or some major artifact. And the nursing staff just goes along with it.
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March 10, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST
OR IF INDY IS SURFING YOUPORN.COM AT THE NURSING HOME
by BringingSexyBack
"Now this is an adventure!"
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AND YOUR FUCKING QUEER BIFF/BRAFF NAMES TOO!!! FUCKING OWNED AND PWNED COCKSUCKER!!!!! NOW GET BACK OUT ON THE STREETS AND SUCK COCK AND TAKE IT IN THE ASS, DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF GATORS!!!!! I OWNEN YOU FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCKING LOSER!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WANT TO JOIN THE REST OF THE HOMOS WHO TALK STAR WARS SHIT AND THEY WON'T LET YOU. SO YOU CRY LIKE A BITCH ON THE RAG WITH NO TAMPONS OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THE FUCK BACK TO THE CORNER LITTLE BITCH AND DRINK UP THE MILKSHAKE FROM OUT OF A MANS COCK YOU FUCKING TRANNY!!!!!!!!!!OWNED!!!!!!!!
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he's not on our side, but he's definitely not on Glove's. He's like an elemental force of indiscriminate hate. "Cry like a bitch on the rag with no tampons?" I kind of like that.
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Good job!
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Suit and tie, I'm flattered that you took the time to respond to me. I've never seen so many caps and exclamation points! you are a big boy now!
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He may be a double-agent trying to infiltrate the Warciples clan.
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Watch for a cameo of Ben Affleck in this movie with Shia singing "I'm fucking Harrison Ford...". Don't get it? Watch the video on Jimmy Kimmel.
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They are all the same..."thing". It's up to four user id's now.
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"Oh yeah Mr. Jones! That's incredible that you found the lost bedpan of Ra the sun god. You truly are a hero." then they hum his theme song, and make fun of him and hide his belongings all over the home and make him search for them or go on his 'adventures' again.
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I thought so too
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It's probably Gloved making up another name and yelling at his other personalities.<p> I'm sure the only reason we haven't seen Jarv in a couple days is because he is sequestered in some candlelit dungeon preparing the final verses in the Necronomicon / Warcipedia.
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I CAN TYPE IN ALL CAPS TOO...WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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dumb ass
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THAT'S HOW A MAN OWNS WORTHLESS FUCKING TROLL FAGGOT ASS!!!!!!!!!! I CAN FEEL THE FEAR COMING OFF OF YOUR POST LADYBOY!!!! WERE YOUR THIN GIRLY FINGERS WITH NAIL POLISH ON THEM QUAKING IN FEAR KNOWING THAT I WILL BLOW YOU UP AGAIN AND OWN YOUR ASS FUCKTARD!!!!!!!!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW FEAR AND FAILURE,EH OWNED!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'S IT LIKE TRANNYBOY SUCKING COCK FOR $5 A THROW AND THEN RETURN TO A DINGY STUDIO APARTMENT THAT SMELLS LIKE DANDRUFF, FEET AND JIZZ!!!!!!!! HAHAHAH, OWNED FUCKING OWNED!!!!
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MALE NURSE (sighing, rolling his eyes): Yes, Dr. Jones? What is it this time?<p> INDY (age 87): I...I...I've found the Lost Platinum Pentacube of the Ming Dynasty!<p> MALE NURSE: Uh, Dr. Jones, I think that's just a, um...watch. In fact, I think it's Mrs. Crabtree's from 3-C...<p> INDY: CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT! This belongs in a museum!!<p> MALE NURSE: So does your prostate. C'mon, Dr. Jones. Time for your sponge bath.<p> INDY: (pees himself while standing in the middle of the hallway)
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THAT'S HOW A MAN OWNS WORTHLESS FUCKING TROLL FAGGOT ASS!!!!!!!!!! I CAN FEEL THE FEAR COMING OFF OF YOUR POST LADYBOY!!!! WERE YOUR THIN GIRLY FINGERS WITH NAIL POLISH ON THEM QUAKING IN FEAR KNOWING THAT I WILL BLOW YOU UP AGAIN AND OWN YOUR ASS FUCKTARD!!!!!!!!! HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW FEAR AND FAILURE,EH OWNED!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'S IT LIKE TRANNYBOY SUCKING COCK FOR $5 A THROW AND THEN RETURN TO A DINGY STUDIO APARTMENT THAT SMELLS LIKE DANDRUFF, FEET AND JIZZ!!!!!!!! HAHAHAH, OWNED FUCKING OWNED!!!!
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They could keep changing the time on the clocks, make him think time is running out on him a lot quicker than it is.
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COPYING UNORIGINAL HOMO!!!!! GO GRAB SOME MORE CARROTS CHICKEN BOY!!!!! GET YOUR PROLAPSED ASSHOLE BACK TO SANTA MONICA BLVD TRANNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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"Morning, Dr. Jones! Will it be applesauce or fruit cocktail today?"<p> "I don't know...I'm making this up as I go." (pees self in the bed)
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So close....
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...The Necessity of Rubber Pants.<p> Burt Gummer would take his own life before succumbing to adult diapers
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the Volunteer Candy Striper Who Looks Just Like My Granddaughter!<p> "If you can just roll over a little, Dr. Jones, I can give your bottom a nice wipe..."
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COPYING UNORIGINAL HOMO!!!!! GO GRAB SOME MORE CARROTS CHICKEN BOY!!!!! GET YOUR PROLAPSED ASSHOLE BACK TO SANTA MONICA BLVD TRANNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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as he runs away clutching 'the golden pee bag'.
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Plus his stache can reverse the aging process.
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NO SURPRISE THERE HE ONLY PACKS 1 INCH!!!!!!!!! NOW COPY THIS POST YOU WEAK ASS LITTLE OWNED BITCH!!!!! YOU HAVE NOW ACKNOWLEDGED MY GREATNESS AND OWNERSHIP. I FUCK YOU UP THE ASS!!!!! I MAKE YOU LICK YOUR OWN SHIT OF MY DICK YOU FUCKING PATHETIC WEAK LAMEASS FAGGOT BOTTOM DWELLING NO GAME HAVING LADYBOY CUM RAG FUCKTOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!OWNED OWNED OWNED OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COPY THIS ONE LITTLE CHICKEN BOY YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THE SUBLIME GREATNESS THAT IS SUIT AND TIE!!!!!!!!OWNED OWNED OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I have no words for that one.
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they set up traps for him to have to dodge, traps such as "we forgot your dialysis was today'
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NO SURPRISE THERE HE ONLY PACKS 1 INCH!!!!!!!!! NOW COPY THIS POST YOU WEAK ASS LITTLE OWNED BITCH!!!!! YOU HAVE NOW ACKNOWLEDGED MY GREATNESS AND OWNERSHIP. I FUCK YOU UP THE ASS!!!!! I MAKE YOU LICK YOUR OWN SHIT OF MY DICK YOU FUCKING PATHETIC WEAK LAMEASS FAGGOT BOTTOM DWELLING NO GAME HAVING LADYBOY CUM RAG FUCKTOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!OWNED OWNED OWNED OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COPY THIS ONE LITTLE CHICKEN BOY YOU CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THE SUBLIME GREATNESS THAT IS SUIT AND TIE!!!!!!!!OWNED OWNED OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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so there's no reason why Gummer in his prime can't team up with Indy before he is committed to the Home for the Chronically Bewildered.
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now please put it away you are scaring the children
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The Incontinence of Feces.<p> "I've found it! I've found the lost Jade Orb of Tutankamman!!"<p> "Um, professor Jones, that's a pine cone. Aw, nevermind"
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he always ends up in a Kirklands
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THIS IS WHY, THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I OWN gLOVEDONES ASS. I CAN'T BE BEAT I AM HIS WORLD HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING UNLESS I GIVE THE WORD I AM THE SUN UPON WHICH HIS PLANET REVOLVES I AM MUCHO MAN AND HE IS A FUCKHOLE I AM SPARTA HE IS PERSIA I RULE ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I I OWNED HIM FROM PROTPLASM !!!!!!!!!PAWNED MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN KNEEL SON OF A BITCH KNEEL BEFORE SUIT AND TIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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at a Brookstones, trying out one of those vibrating chairs, and he's always clutching one of those perpetual-motion desk ornaments like it's the grail. Of course, he's soiled the chair by the time they pull him out of it.
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"Mr. Gummer, stop rolling your foreskin down and telling us 'the worms have turned'!"
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It must be some new stage in their evolution...They become rigid...and spew a white milky froth...what is that SMELL?
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the perpetual motion thing cracked me up. or they find him running through the fountain, nude of cource, or riding one of those quater machine planes that go up and down
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RECOGNIZE MY GREATNESS I DROVE FUCKHOLE OUT. I OWN YOUR WEAK ASSES TOO!!!!!!! I AM LEGEND!!!!!!!!!! OWNED!!!!!!!
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THIS IS WHY, THIS IS WHY THIS IS WHY I OWN SUITS ASS. I CAN'T BE BEAT I AM HIS WORLD HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING UNLESS I GIVE THE WORD I AM THE SUN UPON WHICH HIS PLANET REVOLVES I AM MUCHO MAN AND HE IS A FUCKHOLE I AM SPARTA HE IS PERSIA I RULE ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I I OWNED HIM FROM PROTPLASM !!!!!!!!!PAWNED MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN KNEEL SON OF A BITCH KNEEL BEFORE GLOVEDONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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munching on an Auntie Anne's pretzel, telling no one in particular that he "hates snakes, Jacques. Hate 'em!" And some little kid will want his turn on the plane, but his mom will take his hand and lead him away saying, you don't want to ride that ride. That silly old man made potty in it.
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I'm sure your mom will be coming home from work soon and will chain you back in the closet with a bowl of dog food.
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And sending out double the stupid into the Internets.
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Natch.
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YOU ARE SOOO OWNED!
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nice, Kloipy. <p> And Abom, that scene you painted above re: Indy on a mechanical plane eating an Auntie Anne's and yelling about snakes is hilarious. Somebody needs to film that shit and put it on YouTube. All of these, actually.
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You guys see him at all last week?
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CAN'T KEEP UP SO YOU HAVE TO COPY EVEN THE RETARDED CHILD RAPERS OF AN AICN TB KNOW I AM YOUR LORD AND MASTER AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS COPY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!!!!OWNED FUCKY McFUCKTOY!!!!!!! COPY COPY COPY BECAUSE YOU ARE A DROOLING MONGALOID CUM GUZZULLING CUM BUBBLE!!!!!!! I AM THE ALPHA AND YOU ARE THE OMEGA OR IS THAT SMEGMA YA YOU'RE DICKCHEESE YOU CAN'T HANG WITH THE REAL MAN. I AM THE MAN YOU ARE A TRANNY BONE SMUGGELLER WHO CAN'T POST AN ORGINAL THOUGHT!!!!!OWNED SHITSTAIN OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!
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doing the holy trinity's work.
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CAN'T KEEP UP SO YOU HAVE TO COPY EVEN THE RETARDED CHILD RAPERS OF AN AICN TB KNOW I AM YOUR LORD AND MASTER AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS COPY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!!!!OWNED FUCKY McFUCKTOY!!!!!!! COPY COPY COPY BECAUSE YOU ARE A DROOLING MONGALOID CUM GUZZULLING CUM BUBBLE!!!!!!! I AM THE ALPHA AND YOU ARE THE OMEGA OR IS THAT SMEGMA YA YOU'RE DICKCHEESE YOU CAN'T HANG WITH THE REAL MAN. I AM THE MAN YOU ARE A TRANNY BONE SMUGGELLER WHO CAN'T POST AN ORGINAL THOUGHT!!!!!OWNED SHITSTAIN OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!
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But Indy resists, he swats at the orderly, who eventually leaves in a quandry. <p> Indy yells after him, "Nice try, Lao Che!"
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That could be a running gag with every episode. Like have an orderly leading the pack of old farts out of the mall and pack on the shuttle bus to the Home. He'll drop his "Nice try" line and scamper in the opposite direction<p> Glove: It puts the lotion in the basket or it gets the hose
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Indy hears this alot from the little kids that visit the home.
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He'd scamper back to the "secret hiding place" in his room where he keeps all the "artifacts" he has found around the home (ie people's watches, bedpans, syringes, bottle caps, pocket lint- AKA the Fleece, etc)
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Top Men.
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and the Clipboard of Residential Hygiene<p> "Dr. Jones, I'm afraid this clipboard belongs back up at the front desk."<p> "No! Don't look directly at it!"
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that he affectionatly calls "short-round' everywhere he goes.
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from 'Scraps' the get-well puppy once a week. He tries to clutch it under his armpit and throw it off the balcony thinking it's the holy grail. Unfortunatly it is only a yellow lab puppy and this is the 6th incarnation of 'Scraps' the get well puppy
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he affectionately refers to as Captain Katanga<p> Gotta check out of here in a couple minutes. May gummer bless the Warciples and bestow upon Jarv the wisdom of the ages, so that he might memorialize the word of 2true et all for all perpetuity.
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Except he's lost, and I'm not!
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You have to admit it's better than battling No diggity, yes?<p>My prayers are for #7 Scraps the get well puppy.
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Burt be with you!
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"Leeseen carefuleey, aah shall say zees only once...WHO'S THE DADDY?!"
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for those of you that don't know, but would like to understand what happened in here today. I will help you understand<p> Glovedone first made his annoying appearance in the Brad Renfro Obit, where he started making fun of the guy the day he died. Everybody yelled at him, he just said 'owned' for no reason. Then he found Pillow and I and started his obsession with us, trying to, as he says, own us as well. It didn't work. Then Heath Leger died and he proceeded to make fun of him in his Obit page as well. He got banned, much to the joy of all of us<p> But it wouldn't be the end, oh no. He came back as ZachBraff08, got banned that same day. Came back again as Braff08 and followed me and Finky around (because he is in love with us) spouting his usual unintelligent bullshit, and once again got banned.<p> About a week later he came back as Braffed and followed Jarv, Pillow, Abom, Finky, and I around everywhere we went. Even when we aren't talking to us he comes in and finds us because he wants us to fuck him.<p> Now he is back as glovedone and braffed, and his new persona Biff the Magical Retard. Further study needs to be done to find out if he is or is not Suit and Tie. But it could very well be.<p> Pathetic? Yes. A Loser? Yes. One of the worst AICN trolls. Probably.
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I think the use of the skull is excessive.
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The publicity for this movie has been really shitty lately.
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You WILL, Doctor Jones. You will become a...true believer! Heh-heh-heh...
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That dude by Marion looks like Dom DeLuise...
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look like he's 40 again?
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AHHHHH!
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I don't why I think that, I just got that feeling from the post. Am I wrong? BTW: I liked it too.
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Oh, it's a drawing? Crap.
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See, in the original RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, Indy's hat is clearly a new hat that he replaces when it's convenient. We first see it in the beginning, a dusty dirty one, and when he gets back to America, and he sets out for Tibet on the plane, he's wearing a brand spanking new one, but it's the same Fedora, just worn pushed back on his head. This means that when he gets to Tibet, the dirty Fedora he's wearing is the new Fedora he WAS wearing, not the dirty Fedora from the beginning, which means he's already thrown one hat away, (the one seen in the beginning). Then, when the U-Boat boards Captain Katanga's vessel, Indy doesn't have time to get his hat, and is seen climbing onto the submarine without it. Scratch hat number two (along with the jacket). Finally, after getting back to America, he's seen wearing a brand new, clean Fedora, with a brand new suit. So what the first movie tells us is that the Fedora isn't a special, individual hat, just a style Indy likes. This makes all the stuff about Not Losing THE hat in Temple and Crusade sort of in violation of what we saw in Raiders, especially the silly crap about how Indy inherited the Hat from some dick adventurer(and got his liking for leather jackets from him as well. And finally, in CRUSADE, the still images of Indy and his Hat make it look like the Hat is being treated like a special relic, by Indy, because it looks like an ancient piece of crap that's been kept forever, instead of a nice new one that a self respecting dude like Indy would have acquired, instead of hanging on to like a retard. This one element, treating The Hat like it is Holy and Special is a danger sign of fanboy writing to come in this new film, because if they are writing it with an eye on the past, treating every bit of Indy trivia like it's sacred text that must be repeated and included again, we are going to only get Hackery, and Fan-Fiction. Darabont seems like a nice guy, but he seems very proud of a line he claims he wrote in his version of the script "It's not the mileage, it's the years", and it sadly means that the guy is just a fanboy, and was incapable of infusing a script with anything much more than wink wink nod nods to the fans, and Lucas's track record with the prequels has been nothing but recycling and wink winks to the fans. Yes, it's just a hat. Yes, it's just a small thing. And yet, this small little clue, this small complain, gains more significance as evidence of the fanwanking hackery piles up. I thank you for this opportunity to repeat my thesis, and to Xiphos for encouraging me to annoy him with it.
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It was so much more subtly integrated in the previous poster. It's just ugly here. I can just imagine Lucas going "But the movie is called the Crystal Skull, we have to have a crystal skull on the poster!"
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above, not "finally in Crusade". Damn. I'll have to retype that thesis for a future talkback.
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Oh, good Lord. Fuck. Are you really that obtuse? I mean...come on.<P>Fucking hell, man.
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What's up, sir?<P>NoDiggity's INDY posts make my brain hurt. Bad. Methinks I need a Tylenol and maybe a cold compress.
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Maybe you guys should draw up your own posters and post them somewhere for all of us to see YOUR genius..please.
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On May 22nd you will head towards the theater, a dark sense of foreboding hanging over you like a cloud. You will suppress this as silly, and curse me silently. After all, the sun is shining, it's a beautiful day, and how can a new Indy movie be bad? But then you'll be in the theater, and the previews will be over, and you'll start to see that all that has been predicted has come true, searing your eyeballs with it's tired, hacky crappiness, on a big screen where you cannot deny it's reality. At that point, for a moment, you'll realize NODIGGITY WAS RIGHT!!! But then, alas, shame that you trusted the Berg and the Beard, and pride that won't allow you to admit it, will overcome your moment of clarity, and you will return here in a rage screaming NODIGGITY RUINED THE MOVIE FOR ME! And I will laugh.
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He's done his homework to put together his argument; people should engage his argument on its terms. <P> I think that nodiggity is probably on to something when he points out (through his elaborate hat-indexed read of the movies) that there is a difference between Indy being himself and Indy being "Indy," and this bit of self-reflexivity makes the movies less enjoyable. Could be. If I take nodiggity right, he views the hat stuff as being a sort of low-caliber version of something like Harrison Ford winking at the camera and saying "I'm Dr. Jones! Time to use my whip! Because that's what I do!". <P> Of course, the rationale behind the hat stuff in the second and third movies could just be that the character was changed/retconned/whatever from a guy who always wears a type of hat from a guy who always wears *that* hat. Which isn't a really objectionable aspect to a character.
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Not that Dark Knight crap.
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Thanks, systemsbroom. But I think that the need to retcon it so that it's THE hat rather than a type of hat is the first sign that the films were going to go in a reflexive, recyclic direction.
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Indiana Jones wears a fedora.
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two things though: <P> 1) Absent other examples of reflexive, recyclic direction, I think that the hat thing is minor enough that it doesn't really muck with anything 2) My understanding is that the movies are supposed to emulate serial stories. In which case, small changes from film to film don't really matter, because the movies are not documentaries of what happened, they are instead recountings about stuff that this quasi-real figure, Indiana Jones, did. Like how if I told an Indiana Jones story, it would be different in feel and tone (and factual history) than when somebody else tells an Indy story. Sorta like folklore. That's an aspect of these movies that I think people like, and your hat thesis doesn't take that into account.
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How the hell do you top a summer movie season like this?
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He nailed it with a caveman club.<P>This "hat fixation" of his is actually quite hilarious. It's a bit of minutiae than only the most anal of Indy-geeks would sweat over. The fact that this goofball chooses to vomit these bizarre obsessive posts over it makes me wonder if he has paid this much attention to the kind of whips Indiana Jones uses. I BET NOT!!!<P>And I agree on DocPaz & Lost Jarv's past trouncing of NoDig's musings. Their ability to cut-to-the-quick is most impressive.<P>(I see a single-malt in my very near future...)
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is very, very, scarily verily homophobic.
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March 10, 2008, 4:50 p.m. CST
Someone at CHUD just talked to Drew Struzan about the poster.
by HamsterDK
...And it has been digitally raped! Check this thread through the end http://chud.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2168482&posted=1 #post2168482
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These are going to turn out to be the same aliens from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, thus tying together that film with the Indy movies in a loose way. Or would that be stupid? Probably. What do I know. Back to the amusing dick waggling between Suit and Tie and Glovedone.
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I like the changes they made in the second/third films. It's a stronger choice to have Indy love his hat rather than toss it away when it gets dirty. It's more realistic the second way but more dramatically interesting the first way. Indy loves this fedora so much he's willing to risk life and limb to keep it. We've all had objects at some point in our lives that have special meaning for us. So we can identify with Indy and laugh with him when he goes back to get it.
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1) You know, there are actually places you can take hats to be cleaned and spruced up. I'm sure that in the 1930s, that kind of service was available as well. Please prove that the hat Indy wears at the opening of ROTLA and the one he later boards the plane in are two different hats. <p> 2) Please prove that Captain Katanga, a good friend of Indy's good friend, Sallah, wouldn't have sent Indy's personal effects (including hat and jacket) to him after the adventure was over - or indeed that Sallah himself didn't see to it that Indy got his gear back. <p> Your hat thesis is the weakest kind of obnoxious, anally retentive internet nerd-fu, on par with the "holes" ringwearer9 claimed to have found in PJ's King Kong and which he went to great lengths to describe in his legendary KK "review". <p> Please, for your own sake, give up now while you can still walk out of here.
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NoDiggity - I don't think it's a matter of whether or not Indiana Jones is always in possession of the "one true hat". It's more a matter of its relationship to his persona. Let's fact it - the fedora hat is instantly recognized as THE hat of Indiana Jones. It has helped to make his silhouette one of the most iconic images in film.<P>But the significance of the hat is not just in and of itself. I think it has more to do with the idea that no matter what Indy has gone through - no matter how perilous the quest or close the call - he always dusts himself off, puts the hat back on, and gets back to work. That's his image. That's his persona. That's why we love him.<P>You're obviously WAY too concerned and worked up about this (especially this alleged Lucas/Spielberg/Ford/ "nudge-nudge, wink-wink" business). It's a level of obsessive compulsiveness that I just can't relate to. Or feel sympathy towards...
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You are one of the best bitchslappers here at AICN. Med school did wonders for you.
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Sallah did have that line, "Holy smoke my friends. I'm so pleased you're not dead." In Raiders, and also in Raiders, Marcus was just a man who took the items Indy got for his museum.
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Agreed. And I strongly endorse point #2.
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You're right.
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While I may have oversimplified what I was trying to say, my point was that I was afraid Mr. Struzan's art was digitally modified beyond (and despite) his original intentions. And now I see my fears were valid. But thanks for the flame nonetheless. Gets the heart going from time to time. http://tinyurl.com/22k5xq
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That we all want the tone from Raiders and not Last Crusade. That may be impossible to achieve but we'll see. Either way it'll be a fun ride.
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You're a hack, I'm a hack, everyone's a hack hack.
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and a cane instead of a whip.
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And I certainly endorse your idea that it's not the exact hat per se which is interesting but its symbolic and iconic value.
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I am awed at your analysis. Never noticed that point about Lucas. Kudos to you. You get my Indy TB golden idol :) Congrats!
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You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.
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Problem is I use this site to procrastinate. And I now can't procrastinate anymore cause the semester is more than halfway done. But here I am, anyway...procrastinating. So I'm bound to be doing this school thing for another four years. Damn AICN!
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HOW YOU MAKE A MOVIE POSTER.....AWESOME!
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I can't seem to get that link to work...? I suspected LF/Paramount marketing had dicked with Struzan's piece - it certainly looks the case. As an Indy and Drew diehard, I find the poster more disappointing the more I look at it - particularly in the knowledge this will be the last one he ever does. Oh well. It doesn't quash my excitement for the film however.
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You believe that the original film immediately knew how iconic the character would be, and wrote into the film how important Indy's hat and jacket would be to everyone, giving this reflexive film-based worship of Indy's personal effects to every character in the film. What did you think Katanga did with Indy's effects? Did he send them to a German embassy to be forwarded to a concentration camp (as far as he knew, that's where Indy was). Did he drop his normal business to send the hat back to Sallah, so Sallah could send it by Express Mail back to the States in time to greet Indy so he could have the hat professionally cleaned and spiffed up? (I mean, come on, Indy giving a shit about dry cleaning?) Did Indy insist on hunting down Sallah and asking him to please contact Katanga to get his hat and jacket back BEFORE he tried to convince those Bureaucrats of the importance of the Ark? You are grasping at straws in a very fanboy way that lessens the relative realism of the first movie, that made the first movie as good as it was. It's far simpler to imagine that the tough, practical Jones would just buy a new hat when he needed one, not wasting time writing to Sallah and Katanga for his old one back, or dry cleaning his old one and then immediately taking off into jungles and mountains with it to mess it up again. Either it's a precious hat he likes to keep spiffy, or it's a hat he doesn't mind getting filthy. One or the other. You can't have both in your fanwank theory. And CRYSTAL SKULL has taken the tack that it's a favorite hat that he doesn't bother to spiff up (at least, from the still's we've seen). So that blows your theory out of the water.
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I'd take you more seriously if you weren't the guy who in the other Indy TB complained about Indy bitching about his age and compared it to your own 60+ dad(!) who doesn't complain about it. <p> The fact is, the things you listed are almost exclusively from TLC, which I personally find to be the weakest film of the bunch. I hate the prologue in its entirety for its tendency to attribute virtually every aspect of Indy's character to the occurrences of one afternoon when he was a boy scout. That having been said, TLC is still vastly better than most films of its type being made today. <p> The "fortune and glory" bit is NOT out of character, however, as TOD takes place before ROTLA when Indy was a bit more mercenary - maybe a stage he went through after his idealistic youth. Then again, maybe Indy wanted Lao Che's diamond so he could finance an even bigger quest? See, NoDiggity's problem is not that he has a problem with excessive explanations. He simply wants explanations when it suits HIM. That's why he can't make a small leap of faith and give Indy the benefit of the doubt like I just did regarding Lao Che's diamond. Indy doesn't explicitly say that he needs the diamond for an expedition, so NoDiggity can't see past the obvious, namely that wealth was traded for something of historical and cultural value. <p> What's "obnoxious" about people like NoDiggity and ringwearer9 is that they pick and choose (and fabricate) subtexts when it allows them to project themselves as being haughty, cynical cineasts. By the same token, when a possible subtext or leeway for interpretation exist and it contradicts their ideas, they conveniently ignore them.
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March 10, 2008, 5:50 p.m. CST
Things that TBers should never say again: TB 6 Commandments
by TerryMalloy
Here we use terms and insults and sayings so frequently they became cliches in a matter of days. So therefore, when giving opinions on posters/trailers, thou shalt never say again: <p> 1) It's too "this or that-y". [Gained popularity during Transformers TB a while ago when describing optimus prime, but is now just way annoying.] <p> 2) "You're a faggot, [insert TBer name here] The reasons behind this are so obvious I won't even try. <p> 3) "You must live in your mom's basement". A tired, unsubstantiated insult. <p> 4) "It's this year's "Little Miss Sunshine" and all its iterations. <p> 5) "[insert name of director here] is a hack." That term has absolutely no meaning anymore. Be specific with your criticism. <p> 6) "Owned" or "pwned". Glovedone, I'm talking to you (aka farting in the wind) <p> You guys can add anything else you've noticed. I gotta jet.
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Damn YOU!!!!!
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i skimmed most of the TB because i'm very busy and important these days...sewing tutus. i will assume that xi won the hat debate redux and that no diggity and allie jamison said something annoying. but one thing did catch my eye and i am going to pontificate about it, because i am a)a know-it-all about certain things and b)while i didn't go to school at the same time as struzan, we went to the same school and took the same illustration classes from the same teachers, meaning we learned the same technique. struzan makes all his posters with photo projection (from photos given to him by the studio) and then they're hand painted. any digital work is done later, in press. therefore, any wanking about this poster should be directed at the studio advertising department, not the artist. and any wanking at the skill of the artist should be shoved up the ass of the wanker, because i'll wager nobody on this TB - including yours truly - could paint anything REMOTELY as well as struzan. if you can, please post a link to your work so that i may be proven wrong. that is all. *steps down from soapbox*
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No, I don't believe they knew how iconic the hat would become, but that still doesn't change the fact that you're drawing conclusions out of your ass. <p> No, I don't think Katanga would drop everything to send his gear anywhere, but he was taking Indy and Marion somewhere to begin with, was he not? Surely once he reached his destination he would tell Sallah about the misfortune which befell his friend. Maybe Indy had already contacted Sallah by then to say he was alright. Maybe Katanga at that point said "Wow, what a relief. Say! I still have his shit here - can I send it to you?" <p> This thing only becomes fanboy wank when someone pushes it as hard as you do your hat obsession. I'm only stating possibilities which demonstrate how flimsy your ideas are. As far as I'm concerned, it's not important whether he only has one hat or thousands of them. <p> It's interesting, however, that you obsess over his hat but ignore the fact that Indy in ROTLA almost got his arm crushed in order to retrieve his bullwhip, an action which according to your theory Indy wouldn't have done until subsequent films as a "wink" to the audience. <p> Also, Indy doesn't just wear the fedora on adventures. Doesn't care about dry-cleaning? Did you see how smartly dressed he was (with hat) at the end of ROTLA? <p> As for the stills from KOCS, they are just that - stills. As far as we know, the stills of him wearing the fedora are during and/or after action scenes, so how does that blow anything I've said out of the water?
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March 10, 2008, 6:06 p.m. CST
Good points Terry Malloy, I'd like to add these to the list.
by manicart1
7)Stupid jokes relating to the Indiana Jones titles and Harrison Ford's age, eg 'Indiana Jones and the Male Menopause'. You know what? We get it-- Indy's not a young'un anymore. Cracking wise about it was funny four years ago when the Indy 4 rumours started circulating. Now that the film is almost here and defying all expectations by looking credible, shut the fuck up about Indy swaping his whip for a cholostomy bag. Or Indy's fear of snakes being related to his impotence...or whatever. 8) Reference to the Star Wars Prequels, and how if you ever saw George Lucas you would smash his head repeatedly against the floor before craming his head up your entire ass and pooing his head out and then jumping on his poo covered head yelling 'TEH SUCK! TEH SUCK! O RAPIST OF MY CHILDHOOD!" In short, to stop banging on about how much you hate three movies that came out years ago.
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I can't believe there are so many people here ready to rip this movie to shreds. It's fucking Indiana Jones people. They're not movies that are going to change the world, but they are fun, they are iconic, and they were the best thing to come out of the 80s, other than maybe Empire Strikes Back. Indiana Jones is a fucking GOD. I can't wait to see it back on the big screen, and I'm prepared to love it. And I don't get all the hatred for Last Crusade. I hope I never get that jaded.
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about coming to AIC talkbacks is that there are a lot of people who just seem to hate everything, no matter what it is. I really don't get that.
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Thanks for heading that off at the pass. And for the record, I like the last crusade.
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xi, got your bike up and running yet? picked up any chicks with it?
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birthday napkins i saw the other day
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I'm somewhat with you on the "unspeakable power" bit. However, one could argue that his aversion to his father's biblical obsessions would have him scoff at Judeo-Christian artifacts of supposedly supernatural power. Let's not forget that Indy was VERY quick to tell Marion to shut her eyes when the shit hit the fan. Perhaps his brush with holy artifacts earlier in life enabled him to quickly accept what was happening and that he had been wrong? <p> A worse offense in TOD is the pulling a gun on a swordsman gag. If you watch the films in chronological order, it makes one of the biggest laughs in ROTLA seem weirdly pointless. Using the gag in TOD is inexcusable and would have been much better in TLC. Still, I rate TOD a hell of a lot higher than TLC.
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I hate it that other people hate things in Talkbacks! <p> I hate hating that, too! <p> I hate manicart1 for making me realize Talkbacks be full of hate. <p> Not really. manicart1, it's been increasingly that way for years now. I think the more accessible the Internet got to be, the easier it got for Ringwearers and Diggers and Braff/Glovedones and Memories_or_Murders to sneak on the 'puter when their parents aren't home (or their bosses aren't around) to whine to what they perceive to be a captive and often responsive audience. <p>
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or a whip. i've heard the ladies like whips. of course, i wouldn't know anything about that, being unladylike. although i have had a passing acquaintance with handcuffs. but, then, haven't we all?<p>manic, i don't hate everything. i like kittens, chocolate with bacon, and fruity drinks. do those count?
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Just when I thought I was a complete Indy-nerd, Doc goes and makes a point about something I NEVER seemed to catch before. <p> How is it possible that after seeing these movies more times than I can count, that I never realized just how out of place the swordsman gag in ToD was since it was set BEFORE Raiders. Ah, well, you learn something new everyday. Even in a TB.
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Remember the "Revenge of the Sith" poster, and how bizzarely cut-and-paste it was? Posters from LFL seem to be the same unimaginative Photoshopped collage, whether the source material is stock photos, or Struzan's repainted versions of those stock photos. Maybe he had more creative freedom in the past -- I don't know. No matter who's responsible, I am unimpressed by this poster. It's better than unpainted photographs, but that's a given.
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Very loyal, great job
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gotta get back to working here. Keep the faith lady(ies?) and gents.
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And all his fedoras....
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This year's Little Miss Crystal Skull!
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I remember when the final poster image first came out there were a few different versions. The compilation was basically the same in each, though I thin ka few of the smaller images changed or changed places. It was obviosu then (possibly before then for you other experts in this field) that Lucasfilm was fucking around with Struzan's work.
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It's a part of Indy's self-constructed adventurer persona. Like wearing a power suit to a meeting.
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Don't fuck with a man's poster.
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finx, you are ever a gentleman and a scholar.<p>you know what the sword gag was all about? ok, so, it's an accident in raiders, right? harrison ford was sick and didn't feel like doing the combat so he just 'shot' the guy. so the audience loooorrrrrved it and it became an iconic moment. cut to a few years later and the suits are like 'hey remember how everybody loved that bit with the swordsman? we gotta remind everybody about it because god forbid we leave a happy accident alone!' and there you have it. feh.<p>i would be argumentative about the poster but i gotta go teach my class. time for the dog and pony show.
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March 10, 2008, 6:50 p.m. CST
I DIDN'T READ CHUD'S ARTICLE BUT I'LL BET DOLLARS TO DONUTS
by BringingSexyBack
that Shia got emphasized more than he originally conceived. Now on to Chud.com ...
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I knew the story behind the sowrdsman gag, I just can't believe in 20+ years I NEVER put together that the "in-joke" from ToD is a major violation of chronolgy. I got that it was a "wink" at the audience to say "hey, remember this gag from last time?" I just can't believe I wasn't shaken by how out of place that is for an incident that would have been taking place 2 years before that which it ackowledges even happened!
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If you follow the link I posted, all it really is, is one of the posters there (perhaps one of the admins? I don't follow that site) actually called Struzan's house (somebody posted his phone number! Imagine!) and got the word straight from the horse's mouth. But yeah, BSB. Don't screw with the Stru.
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March 10, 2008, 7:11 p.m. CST
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE GUY WHO GOT OFF THE PHONE
by BringingSexyBack
with Drew Struzan and here is what Struzan said: <p> Damn you George Lucas you raped my posterz!
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In doom if they had a giant sword battle. That would have made the scene in raiders carry more weight when you rewatch it. Also, it would make sense. But that's too much to ask sometimes
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also incorporated the Han Solo chasing Stormtroopers gag. Just a reminder.
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March 10, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST
THE PROBLEM WITH LUCAS IS THAT HE THINKS HE'S A MYTHMAKER
by BringingSexyBack
with his deliberate fables and gags and shit. What he don't realize that mythic greatness is often accidental, and incidental to great art. And unfortunately, he's no great artist. Just a lucky guy who pillaged some great stories.
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March 10, 2008, 7:20 p.m. CST
I THINK IT'S A COOL THAT A GRAPHIC ARTIST HAS A NAME LIKE DREW
by BringingSexyBack
I like that.
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March 10, 2008, 7:24 p.m. CST
Why would you watch Indy movies in chronological order?
by IAmJack'sUserID
You watch them in the order they were made, same with the SW trilogies. Also, it could be said that Indy has his pistol to use against the swordsman BECAUSE he didn't have it in Temple, like he was more cautious about not losing it. I just see it as an anachronistic reference though, and the time doesn't bother me at all.
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with the helicopter blades on top, oh and he should also suffer from autism
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That's it. photoshops officially killed classic poster making if even the grand master of posters can't escape its amazing cut and paste powers. still a cool image but just not the same as it could have been. struzan should release any rough drafts he did.
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Well, if you want to get real geeky about it-and why wouldn't we?- whose to say that the Raiders gag is the first time he blew a guy away like that? So him reaching for his gun and not finding it would be a natural thing for him.
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Anybody catch Alabama Jones & the Busty Crusade on Cinemax?The movie featured three floating skulls that looked a lot like the one on the poster.Maybe Lucas is a Cheyenne Silver fan.
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Here's another URL of it... http://tinyurl.com/2fokrl
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Indians with spears chasing Indy with whip... Glowy "mystical" object at the center of everyone's attention... Love interest Marion, smiling... Grey-dressed (female and Russian!) villian, threatening with a sword... The whole composition framed by a snake and stone ruins... (And Chia LePet with a funny expression on a motorcyle.) <br> <br> Except for that last, all elements present in the first Indy movie. Lucas and Spielberg must've told Struzan to fire up the Photoshop and include these CRYSTAL SKULL elements for the poster. And this would've been fine as a decent, if typical, Drew Struzan creation--- that is if you haven't seen Richard Amsel's second RAIDERS poster, the one titled "The Return of the Great Adventure". Indy with whip: check. Ark of the Covenant in a central position: check. Love interest Marion, not smiling: check. Villianous Nazis and an Arab threatening with a scimitar: check. The whole composition framed by a snake and stone ruins: check. (And Belloq with a funny expression holding his head.) <br><br> The overlap's a liiitle too pat to be NOT deliberately done! But, I'd like to think that this poster is Struzan's "hommage" to the Amsel original... instead of a blatant retread/rip-off of it. <br> <br> <br> <br> Much like I'm expecting the new CRYSTAL SKULLS to be Lucas and Spielberg's "hommage" to their original RAIDERS of over two decades ago... instead of a blatant retread/rip-off of it.
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I'm not sure if I'm really worthy to be mentioned in the same breath with No Diggity, occula. <br> All I did was criticizing the poster and "whoever" was potentially responsible for its -compared to other works of Struzan- weird composition.
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Krack, I tried to adress your Lucas-phobia in the Monopoly TB but I obviously failed. What I meant to say was that it's apparently Spielberg and Darabont who both love the reversed "mileage"-line. I'm so sorry if that means that there's more than one human being on the earth to blame for all evil.
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I'm ready to rumble.
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I'm with Lucas on this one. Too throwback-y. Pwned!
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Sleep tight ...and pleasant dreams. ...I could have been your greatest adventure...
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Yes, autism and a helicopter beanie. And he should rock back and forth muttering, "Study of FACT. Truth is PHILOSOPHY."<p> I'm thinking of designing a Warciples T-shirt that celebrates Indy 4. The back shall read, "Nice try, Lao Che!" Who wants one? Yeah!
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You sound hot. Er--the manner in which you write indicates that you are attractive. If you know what I mean. *wink*
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I'm in on the T-Shirt. "Nice try, Lao Che" and then the reveal after is one of my fav moments from the Indy Trilogy.
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I'm here for a late night talkback! So no more complaining, son!
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Why in the HELL does Lucasfilm mess with Drew Struzan's artwork? The teaser and the release posters for KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL could both be great posters if it wasn't for the ridiculous and unnecessary addition of digital ornamentation around the edges. Why is that digital semi-transparent stone dominating the bottom half of the teaser poster? Why is there black digital foliage surrounding the entire release poster? Lucasfilm, way to ruin some great artwork. Of course that implies that they know great artwork when they see it. <p> At least they got the "INDIANA JONES" font correct on this one. <p> And I would like to concur with many of the talkbackers here, THE PHANTOM MENACE release poster by Drew Struzan is first class.
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<p>You don't think those were the only 2 times in Indy's many adventures that he shot (or even attempted to shoot) an assailant armed with a sword, do you? Both times the swordsman 'gag' was used, Indy behaved as if this was an old trick he'd used many times before.</p> <p>Also, I'm quite certain that Indy went through many a fedora on his multitude of adventures over the years. It is foolish to think that his Hovito temple raiding hat was supposed to be the very same hat he wore when he was storming Austrian castles looking for his father. It certainly wasn't the hat he wore to work when he was teaching or when he was attending social functions like Donovan's dinner party. Stetson makes durable hats, but not ones that can sustain the abuse Indy puts them through for very long.</p>
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Seriously, Struzan is an artistic genius. Sure he lightbox traces the art onto the board which is why the likenesses are so accurate but the real reason he's the best at what he does is the juxtaposition of the characters and the composition as a whole just comes together. Try drawing and placing a bunch of heads and bodies and blending them all togetherin a picture like he does. It's a hell of a lot harder than it looks and really takes a lot of thought to come to a final composition. Believe me, I've tried it and nothing I've done has come close though there are a few guys like Jason Palmer that can emulate Struzan pretty well. I wish they just wouldn't bite Struzan's style of painting and pencilling, though.
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Clearly, you've never raided a Hovito temple with a Stetson on.
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But keep in mind-- not a single person outside of AICN is going to care about the domination of the semi-transparent stone in the bottom half of the poster. They'll see Harrison Ford and the title and go "Where do I sign". So that's why the studios don't care either
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How do you feel about this poster then? Does it measure up?
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No, I haven't. But I HAVE worn one while attempting to navigate rapids down an Indian river. It got soaked and was pretty much ruined.
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outside and it started to rain. It also got soaked and was pretty much ruined. <p> So in conclusion, Indy's been through a shitload of hats. Maybe that's why he tries to save it. Doesn't want to buy another one.
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Sad to say it but it's the true classic indy art. Photoshop indy, I just can't bring myself to accept.
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http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35592 THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.
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I can't imagine that Indy would take on more than one swordsman in his career. Totally unrealistic. But having the Ark of the Covenant eat your face? I'm all for it.
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I think that poster is better too.
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You're right about the average moviegoer and creative vacuum studio suits not caring. But who cares about their opinion? They are EXACTLY why so few great genre movies are made now.
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I don't know. Raiders was made for the average moviegoer and it was perfect. <p> It's not bad if you intend for your film to be seen by a mass audience. It's bad if you think you have to dumb it down in order for them to like it. Great films eventually find an audience.
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aicn's bogeyman.
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Any chance we'll see the same kind of profiteering on little gooney statues that we saw with the statuette in Raiders like the one we see here? Ha!
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If George Lucas isn't a cinematic mythmaker, then who is?
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First of all, your statement "he was taking Indy and Marion somwhere to begin with, was he not... surely once he reached his destination he would tell Sallah about the misfortune which befell his friend.." you mean, he'd just pop on a cell phone and call Sallah, assuming Sallah had reliable phone service in the 1930's? Perhaps he went straight to Mailbox Etc. with Indy's hat and jacket? <br><br> It is YOU are engaginging the fanboy wank, in that your fill-ins, as was explained by Krank, are NOT supported by the film. The film does NOT show Indy packing a dirty hat, along with the clean hat he's wearing, when going to Tibet. The film does NOT show Katanga packing up Indy's hat and jacket, or Indy recieving the package. Based on what the film tells us, he replaces his hat three times during the movie, with NOTHING to tell us differently. We are not led to assume your theory at all. Indy is seen packing his gun, whip, and jacket, but wearing a nice new version of the hat, and NO sign of him packing a hatbox with his dirty hat in it. Mine is not a fanwank, but based on what's given me in the film, the most simple direct connection to be made between new and old hats. Yours requires all this unseen, unshown stuff involving dry cleaners and hat sprucers, which violates Indy's character pretty violently (seriousy, you want to imagine him insisting that his filthy sweat stained hat or hats be lovingly restored every time he comes back from an adventure? It's nuts). What makes yours fanwankery is the elaborateness of your invention. Keep it simple, stupid, and stop depending on all these invented scenes and scenarios to support your case. Mine is based on what I see in the film. I see him wearing a new hat on the plane, and NO sign of him packing a hat, then I reasonably assume the filth hat later is the new hat after taking a beating. Don't need to invent hatboxes, or hat sprucers, or anything. <br><br> And why wouldn't Indy grab for his whip? It's come in pretty handy...it's a life saving tool, as evidenced TWICE before he's shown grabbing for it. That's enough motivation for me. You risk getting crushed (and it wasn't much of a risk, since he could gage the rate of descent) to retrieve a tool that saved his life twice already, and which he could expect to save his life again. Now you are fanwanking so violently that you are ignoring the logic of the first film, and doing it short shrift. <br><br> I already said that the Hat at the end of the adventure was likely a New Hat, not Katanga's specially sent package, via Sallah, because that assumption doesn't need all this fanwanking imagining of Katanga and Sallah's unlikely concern about a filthy hat and jacket. All it imagines is that Indy went to a closet, or a clothes store, and got himself a new hat. The hat is a 1930's style hat, they weren't considered rare and precious objects back then. That's the simple explanation that you don't have to think about, given what the film tells us, as opposed to your fanwankery which forces us to imagine this unlikely scenario of hat and jacket retrieval and restoration that the film does NOT support in any way. <br><br> As for the stills of him wearing the filthy fedora in Crystal Skull, they show a hat and jacket in WORSE condition than any in RAIDERS, which would belie your imagining of Indy as someone who liked to expensively restore one favorite hat over and over.
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I can hardly wait!
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You've defended your position. Indy buys new fedoras. I accept that. And I accept in the sequels that they violate this established character behavior. What I'm saying is that the choice they make in the sequels is more interesting. So I'm not too mad about it. <p> But What I think you're saying is that this is a small example of a larger problem; namely, that in the sequels, there are needless "inside jokes" that essentially break the fourth wall and tarnish the tone that you loved during Raiders. Again, I agree. There is a self-awareness in TOD and TLC that is not present in Raiders. But I think you'll find that this is endemic to movie sequels. In sequels, the filmmakers try to recreate what made the first one so successful. Most often this leads to failure. This is because usually there isn't really much of a story to be told after the character goes through the events of the first movie. In Indiana Jones, plotwise there is very little difference between the three films. [Indy goes after artifact. Meets a woman/sidekick. Nazis chase him.] But that's the intention. What will make this movie interesting is how they will tackle the character growth differently. What is the inner journey that Indy must undergo in this film? There are certainly a lot of issues to explore because of how much time has passed. How effective they are in showing this journey will determine how great the movie actually is. I have no doubt that Speilberg will create thrilling action sequences. But ultimately what will make it successful is that inner journey. So don't get so worked up over the self referencing stuff. It is bound to be in the sequel. And we have seen it already in the trailer. If you go see the movie, take it for what it is. Enjoy the ride!
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If you look at the hi res version of it, it doesn't look like it was altered by photoshopping stuff in. Everything in the picture looks painted in. What seems to have been done is that the full painting was blown up and cropped, and the foliage bordering the picture added in. I can't imagine Struzan drawing a picture that cut off the top of Indy's hat. Why blow it up? For the same reason they wanted Shia the most prominent character, other than Indy's head, as he drives forward out of the picture on his motorcycle. Blowing up the picture blows up Shia. There hopefully new adventure franchise star.
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What I think is interesting is that you could have an infinite amount of permutations of Raiders of the Lost Ark with the same plot points that charts a different inner journey. And they would be completely different movies. Except for the action sequences.
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That's the attitude with which I re-watched LAST CRUSADE recently, (even though when I first saw it all that stuff really bugged me) and I'm sure I can set it aside and get some fun out of CRYSTAL SKULL.
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You violated the fifth TB commandment.
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Moderation. I understand your passion and your desire to see a film that rivals Raiders in its greatness, but that's not what I'm going to expect. I have tempered myself to expect a Last Crusade type film: fun, campy, and entertaining.
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I think you're too hard on NoDiggity. He certainly came to the right place to discuss the fedora. If not here, than where? No one I know would discuss this with me for me than thirty seconds.
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I meant "then" and not "than". Please don't arrest me!
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It's interesting to note that when I was a kid, one of my favorite parts about the sequels was when they referenced the first movie. Maybe I just had bad taste then, I don't know. But I think there is something comforting in having "inside" knowledge. It's the same feeling you get when you and a friend share a joke that no one else gets. It kind of cements the bond a little more. We laugh because it's familiar and we feel a part of Indy's world, unlike the first one, where we are thrown into a completely new and different world and try to keep up. By the sequels, we are thoroughly schooled as to what the rules are.
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That's my all-time favorite Xiphos line.
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He's a stickler for the details, but all for the betterment of the movie. I'd want him to give coverage on my scripts.
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because he might toss them out if I had internal logic problems. Rather, I wish he could proofread my script and find plot holes.
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See, here I'm now by myself, uh, er, talking to myself. That's! That's chaos theory!
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And get a life. [sighs. strokes lightsaber.]
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I will TOTALLY buy one. Keep it simple, maybe just graphic of a plane taking off overtop the phrase? Or just a fedora next to it? Or even a broken open fortune cookie with a piece of paper inside that reads "Nice try, Lao Che"? I dunno, but count me in, goddamnit.
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Terry Malloy, I've read some good posts by you in the past, but your communication with Diggy and the peaceful resolution you guys came to was astoundingly awesome. I dunno if it's just really damn late here in CA, or if Diggers is wearing me down, but I'm starting to feel a bit for guy seeing his last response to you. <P> I still think he's obsessed with the fedora thing, and Doc's not going to let Diggy's response go unspanked, but at least the guy knows what works about Raiders, even if he and I may disagree on interpretations of events in the latter movies. Cheers to ya, Malloy.
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Gummer summons your presence, lad! <P> as for me, my ass's got to get a few winks in before I have to go to work. I hate working late.
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As I explained earlier, and as you just admitted, you are concerned with nothing BUT what is being shown on screen. Honestly, your obsessive behavior could just as easily be applied to the lack of footage showing Indy taking a dump. If it wasn't shown, it didn't happen, right? <p> You're accusing me of having a "theory", which I do not. I'm merely pointing out that there is enough leeway in what's NOT being shown that your Hat Theory (TM) is circumstantial at best. Again, I don't care one way or the other if he has one hat or literally owns a fedora factory. <p> Also, you may want to read up on methods of communication back in the 1930s. Telegrams were quite common (and cheap) before cell phones and the internet. <p> Here's a question for you: Do you think Indy stepped off the amphibious plane and walked ten feet to Marion's tavern? Or was it in fact so that Marion's tavern was located on a windswept, frigid, mountain slope which required a few days rugged hiking to get to? Could it possibly be that his hat got dirty on the trip up the mountain? Heavens, no! It can't be! It wasn't SHOWN!! <p> As for the whip, Indy had already made it out into the outer hallway of the temple and had a short walk/run to the river where Jock's plane was waiting. Therefore, by your reckoning, there was no further need for the whip on that particular outing and certainly no reason to get one's arm crushed trying to retrieve it. <p> By the way, where, exactly, in TOD and TLC do we see Indy risking his life to get his hat back? I've never understood this part of your cretinous theory. <p> When it comes to Crystal Skull, why can't you concede that maybe his gear went through massive wear and tear in the film before the stills were taken? And if not, since Indy still had his hat and jacket at the end of TLC, couldn't these be the very same jacket and hat he had when they rode off into the sunset 20 years earlier? <p> Love, <p> Doc
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seems to give a rats ass about this movie? I don't anyone really cares. I think it may even bomb. It'll probably do okay for the first week or whatever, but not long after that.
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We used to smarter!
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Sometimes people, especially in the bleary, dreary, half-awake gray hours of the work-a-day, make, *gasp* grammatical errors. Oh, the humanity! I will report to my nearest Grammar Authority Ministry for a public beating and, hopefully, crucifixion by pedantry.
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Why so serious?
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...once NoDiggity posted his all-important thesis of the mystery of Indiana Jones's self regenerating hat.
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At least it hasn't devolved into the usual "Newt is Jones!" Alien/Aliens inanity. <p> Yet.
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March 11, 2008, 6:41 a.m. CST
You'd Be Serious Too If Your Parents Were Killed By Joe Chill
by LaserPants
IT HAUNTS ME!!! Arrrgh!
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I keep coming back until someone REMEMBERS seeing Richie!
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That fag? He's ass up in the bathhouse right about now; living off the trust fund, binging on meth, riddled with STDs.
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- I'm pretty sure Indy has different coloured hats in Raiders; Jones Standard Issue Brown as well as the Grey dress hat he wears aboard the seaplane and at the very end of the movie in Washington. Anybody want to check this or does that nerdtacular duty fall to me?
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You can't say that anymore, it's a rule or something.<p>But on that note, just caught Hard to Kill over the weekend. "I'll take you to the bank....the blood bank."
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Put that on a one sheet...I'd buy that for a dollar!
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I'm sure Indy bought more than a couple of the same fedoras over the years. Yes, that mercenary guy at the beginning of Crusade gives him one, but it's unlikely that that hat is the "one" for his entire career. They DO manufacture the fuckin' things. You can buy more.
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still haven't moved. I love the disorginization of this company
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is ripe for a pencil storm
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saw 2 movies over the weekend 30 Days of Night and The Lookout<p> 30DON-thought it had some cool stuff in it, started off awesome, until the middle section. They really dropped the ball in showing the time pass, because this movie could have been really good. Also too much shaky cam shit which is fucking hard enough to follow without everything being black and white and greenish. But it did have a fantastic decapitation with an axe. One of the best I've seen in a while.<p> The Lookout-thought it was great. Joseph Gorden Levitte was excellent in the movie and the whole picture kept me wondering what was going to happen at the end. Just lots of great character work in it
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jinx, we owe each other a coke! See, warciples think alike. It's good that we're consistent with recognizing when a situation calls for the dispensation of leaden justice
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I'll pump 'em full of lead
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I'm gonna have to use the "nice try Lao Che" line a few dozen times until I get it out of my system.
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he may making his pilgrimage to Perfecca
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March 11, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST
indeed Abom...pencil stab first, ask questions later
by just pillow talk
I like that Joseph Gorden Levitte, thought he was good in Brick (movie was just okay I thought).<p>Watched Hot Fuzz again last night, I really enjoy that movie. Yarp! Oh, and caught the last 40 minutes of Untouchables. That movie never gets old.
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involves a pilgrimmage to Perfection, and standing outside the church of Chang grocery, but facing Burt's bunker on the hill, and kneeling in reverence.
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I also thought he was good in it, but I couldn't stand that movie. I didn't even finish it, just couldn't bring myself to watch anymore<p> I love Hot Fuzz, thought it was hilarious. And it's like Shaun, the more I watch it the funnier it becomes. However I must say that I was kind of let down by the final 'action' scenes. Just not as crazy as I thought they should have been
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But once they're in the supermarket shooting at the people behind the counter throwing cutletry, that was great. And Dalton getting impaled was great.<p>I still can't remember laughing so hard from Shuan when they first encounter the dead in their backyard. That scene just kills me, throwing records at them.
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Or hurl flaming possums at bad guys?
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the steeple and the grocery parts were awesome, I was just remembering the fight on the streets which just seemed anti-climatic to me. But you are right those 2 parts were great.<br> And that scene in Shaun is just classic. I can watch that movie so many times and laugh each time I see it.
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but they will in Tremors 5, i promise
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March 11, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST
if Tony Jaa isn't in that movie, no baby elephants
by just pillow talk
can be thrown. Flaming possums, however, follow no such rule. Burt will shoot those out of the sky.
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but instead of arrows coming towards him it's flying flaming possums
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one of the ten-minute lesbian scenes, a baby elephant will come crashing through the rice paper door of the japanese love shack, followed by a couple guys who just happened to be duking it out in the street at the time.
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they use a baby elephant to open every door or window by throwing it
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during the making of Tremors 5. This is because all baby elephants will have stunt-dummies consisting of a fake elephant costume stuffed with live baby koalas.
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where Drebbin and a bad guy have a shoot-out, only they're like 3 feet away from each other? I want to do that, but instead of guns they'll hurl baby pandas,kangaroos and possums at each other
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and it was titled "Polar Bear Attack" and I was thinking "Holy shit, here we go, finally we get to see the true devastation that bears bring" but then it just turned out to be a baby polar bear clutching some guy's leg. Give it a year and it will be tearing it off.
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with a pencil for teasing you with the promise of ursine violence?
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Man, they really won't seem that scary unless they show someone getting killed by them. That is a bad death right there. Suffocation by ant horde. *shivers*
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Lol! just pillow talk, I forgot that one :-)
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Usually my attempts to identify the underlying concept and broker a peace deal fail miserably. This was a surprising success!
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Not "concept".
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He's 68. That's SIXTY-EIGHT.
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Cool!
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Haven't you choked to death on semen yet? For every post you enter, I'm going to donkey punch your mother.
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The dude was like 40 when he was doing an Eye for an Eye and Octagon, etc.
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to the age of the Chuckster. My wife was watching Entertainment Tonight or something, and I overheard them say "Happy Birthday" to Chuck, he's 68. And I'm like, "Did they say sixty-eight?" Oh well. The guy could probably still stun a charging rhino with a single punch to the face. Then he'd help it get up and tell it Jesus loves it.
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When Chuck Norris hits you, you have "wish you hadn't been born"day.
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He's actual 138.<p>And rhinos know enough not to charge at him.<p>Anymore.
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are you still upset with me for owning you so bad yesterday? I'm sorry, if I knew you were this sensitive, I would have brought you a tampon to shove in that large, gapping vagina you call a moth.Toodles!
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I think I'm feeling the effects of a punch to the head now. Excuse me.
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I OWNED YOUR WORTHLESS YEASTERDAY ONCE AGAIN BABY BOY!!!!!!!! NOW OPEN UP THAT SEMINAL SEWER YOU CALL A MOUTH SO I CAN SHIT IN IT AGAIN PUNCHBOY!!!!!!!! IF AICN WAS PRISON I'D BE TRADING YOUR HOMO ASS FOR CIGS!!!!!!!I FUCKING OWNED YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
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for getting the drippy little whore started.
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and all shall be as it was, is, and will be, so sayeth 2for2true.
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The nongeek who found out about a new Indy movie were the ones generally excited about it. People who learned about it seeing the trailers in the theater were happy it's coming out. It's the geeks who are really nitpicky and ready to hate.
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with pencils, all while yelling "nice try, Lao Che!" They tried to stop me but I got away before they saw who'd done it.
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Wrinkles and liverspots fear him. His epithelial membranes repel all foreign threats, the way Chuck did in Invasion USA.
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I'm not concerned with nothing BUT what it shown on screen, but when the film doesn't bother to show me, I expect it's because it is saying the explanation is obvious, not elaborate, or out of character. Thus, when I see a filthy hat on Indy after a long journey up a mountain, after seeing him wearing a new hat at the very beginning of that journey (on the plane to the mountain) the explanation that it's the same hat, dirtied to show the journey, is the simple one, and the one the film bothered to offer as the explanation, by not bothering to offer anything more complicated, like a hatbox for the filthy hat, which he packed along with his suitcase with the jacket, gun, and whip. <br><br> And no, my "theory" is not "circumstantial" it's simple and obvious. When we see Indy, all filthy after climbing the mountain, are we to assume that he landed one mile away from Marion's tavern, and deliberately FAKED his filthy appearance, including applying a fake growth of beard? We don't go to that explanation (even though, since we haven't seen him make the journey that gave him that beard) because it's not obvious, it's not simple, there's no reason the film offers us that he did that. But you claim that's just as valid an interpretation as the one where he grew his stubble while making a long journey up the mountain? If so, I can't help you. That he fakes his filthy and travel-stained appearance is a more complicated, and unnecessary, explanation, just as the Adventurere's hat in a hatbox, that he lovingly has restored upon return to America, is a more complicated and unnecessary explanation. Which makes it a WORSE explanation. You see? Also, we can also assume that Aliens teleport new and old hats on and off Indy's head. Just as good an explanation, no? Well, if you can't see why it's NOT a good explanation, or not AS good an explanation as a simpler one, I can't help you. <br><br> I do not believe in your expertise regarding the cheapness and world-wide penetration of telegraph communication in the 1930's, especially in Cairo. I believe that a beat up hat and jacket would have been ignored as unimportant, barring in-film instructions by Indy to Katanga to please send them on. Which would have sucked, being that he was all concerned about Marion at the time <br><br> What, you can't imagine the whip coming in handy? Maybe to switch a poison blowgun out of the hands of a hostile Hovito about to shoot him? Or maybe you imagine that Indy has seen the movie already, and knows he won't need the whip after a certain point? TEMPLE OF DOOM riffed off of Indy's saving his whip, by having him and Short Round grabbing and saving their hats, but in Raiders Indy had a genuine reason to want to save his whip .. it was useful. The hat saving thing was just a joke based on the saving of the bullwhip. <br><br> Didn't Indy and Short round reach under a descending door, just as Indy did in Raiders, to retrieve their hats? <br><br> I haven't seen any evidence of "massive wear and tear" on Indy's hat in CRYSTAL SKULL, and evidence fromt the stills suggest otherwise, since Shia LeBoeuf is seen in the same scene as Indy, his jacket and hair unmussed. Assuming they've been together, they would have gone through similar wear and tear to their clothes.
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I thin kyou're right, Lb. This same thought occurred to me yesterday during DIggity's diatribe and I shoulda checked it at home last night except I was doing work til 4 in the morning. <p> I DO think Indy wears a different color hat at the end of the movie (if memory serves, he WOULD because he's wearing a grey suit, right? Men wouldn't wear a brown hat with a grey suit.) I think the hat on the amphibious plane is also a different color. Darker, I want to say. <p> but the simply fact is that the man likely had different fedoras, as men in that time did who wore them. And there's really no reason to believe that the one he got in the prologue of LC was the exact same one he had years later. It's an allusion to how he would "suit up" as an adult, not meant to be literal (at least that's how I interpret it.) <p> Did Indy have a certain one he liked to take with him on his adventures? Probably, it's not odd a guy should have a "favorite" hat. And if so, that he might be a bit attached to that specific hat, but just liek hats today, it could be replaced if lost. <p> When I was 11 I had a Cleveland Indians cap I wore til the brim started coming off. Sure, I had other hats I occassionally wore, too, but no matter what I wouldn't buy a new hat. Then, one day it fell apart. And I bought a new one that I wore for years. All the while, I still wore my other hats, but the Tribe was my favorite one, whatever incarnation it was.
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March 11, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST
JUST RAN YESTERDAY'S TALKBACKS THROUGH OWNAGE ANALYZER
by BringingSexyBack
No evidence was found of Glovedone owning anyone, least of all Abom or the Warciples.
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It sure ain't no 300 though.
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That's because you weren't acting like finky when you wore that Indians hat. The real finky would not have cared about that hat. Are you sure you're the real finky?
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for age reversal. Putting Chuck on the no-fly list for replign.
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For Troy joy...
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I don't know why you're crying, here's the official hat from "Skull." It shows plenty of wear-and-tear.<p> http://tinyurl.com/2ku5dh
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Troy IS pretty great.
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When you had that Indians hat, were Joe Charbeneau and Rick Manning the stars?
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He was so high up that they wanted him to be the bodyguard for Som Yung Moon(sp)
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in ToD.
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Maybe if I had a fedora or an Indians ball cap I would.
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Thanks for the leads guys. <p> As for the Mormon info - muchas gracias. I'm on a kick to find out more. That doc is, admittedly, merely the starting point. It's as crazy as Scientology. Yet larger than nearly all Protestant faiths? Ca-razeee.
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Ha, no Charboneau, Abom. He was a few years before I got into MLB. (He's living proof that a RoY award can be the Kiss of Death. Not always, but he's a classic case study for it.) <p> Julio Franco, Joe Carter, Cory Snyder Tom Candiotti, Bud Black times. Oh yeah, and my man Willie Upshaw! I followed them through mid-90's pretty closely with Belle, Baerga, Lofton, Thome, etc and finally got to see them hit a winning stride (still no WS victory though!) Now, I sadly see them mostly on highlights in the gym.
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those people are just as crazy, but even more secretive. They have a few churchs in my area, none of them have any windows, and growing up I went to school with some of them. The girls had to wear dresses every day, weren't supposed to celebrate holidays or do the pledge in the morning
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that is too much work to make one man do
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March 11, 2008, 2:14 p.m. CST
Willie Upshaw - Indians would have faired better trading for
by finky089
a Happy Meal instead of picking him up in the "twilight" of his playing days.
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we all remember that first hand
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I used to work in a high rise office just north of DC and out my window was a view of the Mormon Church, just across the Beltway, it's glittering gold spires standing taller than the tree line, and easily the tallest thing around for several miles in its neighborhood. <p> But whenever there was a thunderstorm, those church spires would get hit with lightning. Now, you tell me: irony or were the Mormons trying to harness the power of lightning to fuel a flux capacitor so that they could go back in time and take over? Or perhaps just re-animate the corpse of Brigham Young? <p> Oh, I've said the "c" word, haven't I? Well, it's all in jest anyway. sorta. (1.21 gigawatts!!)
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and having a hard time conctrating. And now I'm stuck here in TBland.... be back in a little bit.
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we let everyone know that there will be death and lots of it. We go door to door, not with our literature, but with flaming leg kicks to the face first, then we throw the scriptures at them and take a dump on their porch swing
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I didn't even see a live Indians game until the 90's era, and then it was only because I landed a second job doing security at the Jake. It was fun. Even though the '94 season ended in a strike, '95 took us to the series, and I got to see it.<p> There's kloipy!
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Dress codes in the office. <p> WHy can't i dress casual if I'm not meeting clients or investors? Are these peopel really going to SEND ME HOME for wearing jeans on a non-sanctioned "casual day"? Why do people put up with this shit? I can't picture my employer telling a client, "Well, we would have had credit approval on your loan yesterday, but our underwriter was wearing jeans and, well, we can't have that, can we? Of course not! SO, we asked him to stop working onyour loan in order to go home and change clothes." <p> And, sure, maybe one person can get threatened with some kind of penalization, but if my whole dept did it, what would they do? Send us all home? Put us all "on notice"? Not likely they can get rid of 9 seasoned commercial loan underwriters and cease getting business done for a few months until they ramp up with all new staff. That's assuming they'd even scrap us over a few pairs of dungarees. <p> Yeah, I said "dungarees." <p> Men in white jackets wrestle Finky to the ground and take the microphone from his hands. <p> Finky: No! Wait! I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore! <p> Man in White Suit: Come on, kid. Knock it off! Let's go! <p> Finky: No! If I go, the rest of the underwriters will all go. It'll be anarchy! <p> Man In White Suit: Kid, you watch too many movies and spend too much time on AICN. <p> Finky drops the microphone and stops struggling: Eh, you're probably right. Eff Glovedone!
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March 11, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST
The strike. Man I was pissed about no post-season that year
by finky089
But I went to my first game at the Jake the following year. April 1, 1995 - exhibition game (versus the Mets, I think). The fucker was delayed due to SNOW. Growin up in Virginia, we had snow, but never that much in April. <p> Then when the game finally started, my buddy and I "enjoyed" watching the replacement players tool around for 9 innings. Still, I was thrilled just to finally be there. I bet you got to see soem great stuff working security there, Abom.
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later warciples, in case you've gone before I return with a flaming dungaree leg kick later for Glovedouche.
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There's a couple good looking women here, and I like to look my best for them, on the off chance that one day one of them might wanna, you know, suck it or do the horizontal gummer dance
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we actually have it pretty good (business casual, erring towards more "casual"), I'm just tired of pointless rules today because I got no sleep last night. My first job was a "shirt & tie" job for almost a year and I never want to go back to that culture again.
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Thanks for the Bob Orci alert. I just holla'd at him. I once had a girl from Jehovah's Witness knock on my parents door. She was smokin hot. That's what they do - send the hot chicks out. But my aversion to being swindled overrides my libido.
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Talk about pointless. Though Abom does bring up a good point, you never know when one of the hotties would want to do the 2for2 poka dance with you.
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dress codes are retarded
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they just said "we'll come back" I invited them to come inside but they didn't
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so i still have a few days left my friends.
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Been wearing one since second grade, all through high school. Hanging is cool, though.<p> They've been making me DO STUFF
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I'd want someone to somehow be able to force my decapitated head into the water cooler, with eyes wide open
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HAS to be in this movie !!!
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I agree, I've never seen a hot one either. Most of them seemed and smelled a little gamey, and had noticable leg hair when their skits showed a little ankle
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it isn't Jevhova Night Live or anything
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I OWNED YOUR WORTHLESS YEASTERDAY ONCE AGAIN BABY BOY!!!!!!!! NOW OPEN UP THAT SEMINAL SEWER YOU CALL A MOUTH SO I CAN SHIT IN IT AGAIN PUNCHBOY!!!!!!!! IF AICN WAS PRISON I'D BE TRADING YOUR HOMO ASS FOR CIGS!!!!!!!I FUCKING OWNED YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
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What a douche.
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March 11, 2008, 3:25 p.m. CST
HMMM. GLOVEDONE AND BOBORCI APPEAR AT THE SAME TIME
by BringingSexyBack
Coincidence? Or not ...
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your mom is lame. OWNED!
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obviously he is 5, because that's what 5 years olds do, mimic someone to try and piss them off.
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Wow! you must have had to typre reeeeeaaal slow to come up with that pithy comeback. Way to keep up, sunshine
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I have already owned him long ago. the fact that he needs to TYPE IN CAPS AND USE SO MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!! means that I've pinched a nerve and made him feel some sort of anger toward me. I love it! Dance puppet! Dance!
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i've been drinking since noon! weeeeeeeeeeeee
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please don't use a comeback about my parents being gone and I broke into the liquor cabinet, or any other reference about me being 5 and unsupervised...You're better than that, Moonbeam. (not really, but since Abom already stroked your cock, i figureded is stroke your ego so you can feel better about yourself) I'm so fucking nice!
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i fucking knew your unoriginal ass would go there. I'm the best!
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Kloipy, you do entertain the hell out of me. Kinda like when i see the special olypmpics. You feel kinda bad, but it's funny as hell. Thanks for the memories,Corky!
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is when Kloipy went into a huge glovedone bashing rant and no one followed him. OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD!
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keep thinking up something clever. I'll be here for a while
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Ok Sloppy, I know that this online community means the world to you and this is where you seem to fit in and be the Big Man on Campus.I don't want to shatter the illusion that you are this great, important girl that all the jocks want to bone at homecoming, so I'm going to leave soon. I just really feel bad for you...
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1) Actually, telegrams were quite common in Cairo in the 1930s. Even if they weren't, you don't think a captain of a ship would have access to a fucking telegraph? <p> 2) Okay, so Indy can calculate the rate of descent of the wall in ROTLA so he's not risking his health by grabbing the whip, yet in TOD he's risking his life to get his hat back? Was the descent of the door in TOD much more difficult to calculate, making Indy's risk greater? <p> 3) Again: if Indy's hat and jacket are beat up in KOCS, why couldn't they be the same hat and jacket from the end of TLC? <p> 4) What exactly is the point of your Hat Theory (TM)? <p> 5) You're completely mad.
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The point of the hat theory was what I described above. It's really a moot issue whether Indy has new hats/old hats/dirty hats/. The issue is that in the sequels there is a lot of self-referencing "inside" jokes to the audience that break the fourth wall, take us out of the movie, and ruin (or at the least modify) the tone set by Raiders. That's all. He's just bringing up the hats as a smaller issue of a larger problem.
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great poster, great great poster.
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doing some big ensemble cast movie?...Anybody with the answer speak up.
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I know all that, but it amuses me that the hat thing galls NoDiggity so much that he spends hours obsessing over it. <p> He's actually modified some of his Indy 4 critique. When he first started out he hinted that using the Soviets as villains was more or less in order to condition the audiences to view the Russians as bad guys in real life once more. <p> NoDiggity's problem is that he would now never admit if he liked Indy 4. All his critique is based on factors which have virtually nothing to do with any qualities of the movie itself. He's painted himself into a corner with his zealous fixation on all things "retreaded" and can therefore never admit to liking it. Witness, for example, his adamant opinions regarding what's depicted in the stills. He is drawing iron-clad conclusions regardless of whether the film will bear them out or not. <p> It's hilarious and quite sad as well.
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We have all now spent hours obsessing over the hat. :) He tricked us all. <p> And as far as NoDiggity's critique being "based on factors which have virtually nothing to do with any qualities of the movie itself," that kind of goes with the territory. None of us have seen the movie yet so we analyze what has been given to us. Some do this a little more obsessively than others.
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...with the difference that most people drawing conclusions allow for the possibility that they are wrong and allow room for interpretation of the images we've seen. People like NoDiggity and ringwearer9, on the other hand, do not.
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What happened in that apparently legendary TB?
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You are the one obessing over my comments and replying to every one of them. Don't you realize that you are the one with OCD ?
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Nope, this guy is the genuine article. If you think his Indy obsession is nuts, you should read his Alien/Aliens shit. Pedantic, trite, wildly inaccurate and thoroughly insane. <p> "Newt is Jones!"
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For you it's a calling, for me it's entertainment.
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Actually I've been back to sane hours for a while now. But it also means I have been slacking off on the late night tb-ing; working late actually encouraged it, and now...I don't know. I stand before you all without excuse.
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I am so disappointed with you. I'm not angry...I'm just...disappointed.
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And what do YOU wear to work? A hat and shirt with a "McD" logo on them? Go make some more fries, bitch. You're damn right I wear a tie and collar. It's called being a professional. You might have read about it. You probably didn't understand it, but I'm sure you've read it somewhere. Now go mow another lawn and go back home to momma.
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"1) Actually, telegrams were quite common in Cairo in the 1930s. Even if they weren't, you don't think a captain of a ship would have access to a fucking telegraph?" Telegraphs weren't free, or cheap. And they took a lot of trouble. It wasn't like using a cell phone. All over a ripped up jacket and filthy hat? Give me a break. Do you think the jacket was worth saving after Indy was done being dragged along a road with it? And the Hat was worth nothing. Could be easily replaced by Indy probably for the same cost of shipping the fucking thing to America, on top of the telegraph fees asking him if he wanted the filthy thing(s). "2) Okay, so Indy can calculate the rate of descent of the wall in ROTLA so he's not risking his health by grabbing the whip, yet in TOD he's risking his life to get his hat back? Was the descent of the door in TOD much more difficult to calculate, making Indy's risk greater?" You are babbling now. In RAIDERS he risked his health to retrieve a proven life-saving tool. In TOD, yes, he risks his health for a stupid HAT. Did you notice that that has been my point all along, and you just agreed with it? Are you now pretending that my point was YOUR point? Wow, that's pathetic. PWND. 3) Again: if Indy's hat and jacket are beat up in KOCS, why couldn't they be the same hat and jacket from the end of TLC? Fine, they could be, but not if your fanwank theory that Indy likes to lovingly restore his dirty hats to new-like condition is in effect, because, if so, why didn't he restore them this time? It's your fanwank theory, not mine. Why should I have to defend it? You defend it. "4) What exactly is the point of your Hat Theory (TM)?" "5) You're completely mad." Reduced to babbling insults. PWND.
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Glad to see it's still going.
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Yeah, Ford will be in a movie called "Crossing Over," about border patrol or something. I read it on wiki somewhere. I think it stars Ford, Burt Reynolds, Dom Deluise, Roger Moore, Jackie Chan...oh wait.
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Please no. I am much more comfortable with anger.
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Medium rare bitch. With onions and swiss too bitch.
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Put it on my tab bitch. Which you're gonna pay fucking bitch.
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You're reaching when you say "if" Indy's hat is beat up in this movie, it would probably be the same hat he had at the end of TLC. But if it's his old hat, it could have been beat up during the course of adventuring in the intervening years, and if it's a different hat it could have been beat up over the course of intervening years. He only spruces it up when social convention calls for him to look respectable in front of Top Men and other government officials. And it's always been my understanding that a good degree of sentimental value was attached to it from the beginning of TLC, making Indy only a little less the practical man he is to do what he can to hang on to it.
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I think that pretty much puts the issue to rest.
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Remember his little comment upstream about how he could no longer take you seriously because of the comment you made about your dad not going on about being old? That's the kind of argumentative, ad hominem bullshit he likes to engage in. He'd just as happily have started calling you crazy had I not diverted him. He seems to me to be a kind of troll.
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You can't fucking "spruce up" a hat after it's been ruined. You buy a new one. Don't give retard Pazuzu's hat restoration theory any more weight.
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I'm pretty sure he can do hats too. I'm not taking Pazuzu's side, as he despises me and vice versa, but it is possible to spruce up a damaged hat. Carry on!
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But I don't remember it being directed at me. I can't find it so I give up.
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Start wearing a fedora. Yeah, I'm bringin' it back, people.
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For the third time: I don't have a "theory". I'm merely pointing out how feeble yours is. <p> When I say that I don't care whether Indy has one hat or millions of them, what is it you don't understand? I've said it enough times so it can't be that you didn't see it. <p> What this all boils down to is that it enrages you that the hat has become so iconic that the filmmakers don't mind a wink or two, whereas it doesn't bother me one bit. <p> You know, NoDiggity, if you weren't such a shrill, absolutist maniac I would actually enjoy debating hats and other gear with you. As it is, you've already made up your mind about this film based on the anally retentive analysis of minutiae and ludicrous "retreading", which simply makes you an obnoxious, humorless turd rather than someone with something interesting or worthwhile to say about the film. <p> You are a prime example of the cynical, empty and corrupt nerdism which the internet has made possible to flourish.
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No, that was krack, not TerryMalloy.
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...which hat in which film was "ruined" beyond repair? <p> Just sayin'...
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...he and I ended up discussing Indy in a rather civilized fashion since he's not a meticulous goon like you, NoDiggity.
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Funniest thing I've read all day.
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This is from memory, but I think the one from the opening of Raiders is damaged beyond repair. It got all wet and warped.
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...THE HAT!!!!
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"Who?" "TOP. MEN." "Hey fatty would you like a donut from the teacher's lounge and a nightcap for CIA grandpa over there?"
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Ah, yes, but once the wind from the plane stopped, did it spring back into shape or was it, in fact, remolded? Is it even possible? <p> I'm sure many Bothans will die to bring us this information.
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H, h, h, h<br> A, a, a, a<br> T, t, t, t<br> Something, something something something<br>Something, something something something<br>Something, something something something<br>It's the HAT DANCE!!! We'll wear hats if we want to<br>We won't leave our hats behind<br>Our friends wear hats if they don't wear hats<br>They ain't no friends of mine<p>Say, we'll wear hats if we want to<br>Buy a new one if we must<br>Cuz the one I been wearin'<br>It ain't well farin'<br>It's covered with desert dust<p>We wear hats, We wear hats<br>Where they come from no one knows<br>We wear hats, We wear hats<br>We spruce our hats up and it shows<br>We wear hats, we wear hats<br>We do it cuz it's cool<br>we wear hats, We wear hats<br>If you don't then you're a fool.<p>We wear hats<br>We wear hats<br>Yeah!<p>It's the hat dance!
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March 11, 2008, 6:22 p.m. CST
In light of the name of the artists of the original...
by 'Cholera's Ghost
I find my rendition more than a little ironic.
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When my very own Indiana Jones got wet, it became permanently warped. But that's all I know about hats.
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I meant: when my very own Indiana Jones "hat" got wet. But it's funnier the first way.
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She should be familiar with the principles of hat restoration and remolding technology. She works in costumes and clothing design or something, right?
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I called it "The MIGHTY Penishat"!But he left me for a vagina,so now I eat a lot chocolate pudding and cry!FUCKING HAT´s!Dont trust them!
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That's why you told Krack you couldn't take him seriously because of what he said about his dad? That's not civilized, that's a rude dismissal.
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...that fedoras are steam-molded to a certain extent. Perhaps more of the same when they're bent out of shape? <p> We gots to know!
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You made me laugh. Thanks.
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HAT`s!
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It was completely freestyle.
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Read my post again. The key words are "ended up", ok? <p> Besides, his comment WAS ludicrous.
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that makes me laugh like crazy
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...be hattin'?
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That's why I'm so disappointed. We've been missing contributions like that! Never again, ok? Promise? Puh-leez?
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would just refrain from calling each other names, there would be so much more meaningful hat discussion.
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I already lost one hat.Thats enough for me!I need more HAT!
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You magnificent bastard. Well done, sir. Will we be hearing that jam on i-Tunes anytime soon?
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Such are the vicissitudes of life. Sometimes they take us away from talkbacking, sometimes they bring us back again. It's the ebb and flow...the ebb and flow.<p>In fact, the vicissitudes are calling for me to wrap things up here. Later guys. Maybe occula will show up in the next Indy TB and put this to rest.
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...is O.O.C.<P>OUT<P>OF<P> CONTROL!!!<P>I'm talking looney tunes!
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We just might be hearing it on i-Tunes, and if so I am donating 25% of the proceeds to you...<p>15%.<p> Alright gotta get home and something to eat.
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http://tinyurl.com/yutazv
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As cited in a study conducted at the University of Wisconsin.
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It's quite a talkback marvel. "'Tis a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing."
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Hats off to ya!
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and the chrome plated alien skull wearing goggles.
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When you're finished sprinkling dehydrated onions on those soy burgers, go get a plunger and clean the middle stall in the men's room. Then you're on drive-thru duty.
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and the Photoshop Fedora...which resulted in Drew Struzan's wife being called by geeks in the middle of night, now Glovedone change my oil and check my brakes bitch
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You stupid bitch.
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Man, if you haven't been over to CHUD forums lately, you outta go. The guy who made the call to Drew's house is getting ROASTED like nuts over there. I honestly don't get what all the fuss is for. Dude had his home phone number listed on his website. Not like the guy wiretapped his phone to gain secret access or something. You put your info online, you're fair game, but calling the dude at 4am and waking his wife just to ask about a poster...don't think I'd do that, but that's just me. The poster looks okay to me. I didn't jump out of my chair, but I didn't hurl all over my keyboard, either. The film concerns me more than a poster at the moment.
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You guys aren't even close - check out http://tinyurl.com/yrnnsh. Then look at the forum... close to 60,000 posts about the Fedora alone. It's strictly amateur hour here.
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Maybe he doesn't know. The left side of his face is always slack.
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But this POS blackberry won't let me read comments tonight for some reason. I blame the Jehovah Witnesses! If I had a sharp pencil right now...
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Yeah! What BSB said.<p> Good day to all the Warciples of Chang!
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"That capslock sure is annoying"<p>That made me laugh.<p>Cholera's Ghost, that was THE best hat song I've heard.
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I just got in, stuck in traffic. Two of my IT guys have two shaken, not stirred, FLAMING LEG KICKS coming their way. Someone has to take the blame.
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they are all pissing me off
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March 12, 2008, 7:28 a.m. CST
it may be time for you to barbecue your co-workers
by just pillow talk
with FLAMING LEG KICKS Kloipy. Or better yet, light your pencils on fire with your FLAMING LEGS and shish kabob him!
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Am I the only motherfucker who knows how to make coffee? Jeez people, how fuckin hard is it to make a pot of coffee? Pencil stabs
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unless there's one co-worker in particular that needs that specific "teaching".
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The 'gospel girls' as I call them, are especially chatty this morning. It's all yakety-yak yakety-yak GURLFRAND!! But sometimes neighbors are good, like Cute Blonde Next Door With Whom I Want to Sleep. Everyone else, FLK City! KWA!
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I wouldn't let that slide Kloipy. These shitheels need to be taught the error of their ways.
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But if a chick is around, there's no reason for a man to make coffee. Fred Ward and Kevin Bacon made coffee at the beginning of Tremors only cuz there were no chicks around, and even then they had to do rock-paper-scissors. That's a couple real men.
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I'll shove some coffee grounds down their throats then piss in their mouths screaming "Hot enough for ya???"
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Whining at you for not making coffee is like throwing a baby elephant into your office space. They're asking for a helicopter roundhouse kick to the mandible right there, followed by a so-fast-it's-invisible pencil stab
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last night. Called Feast of Love. He was a drunk violent man
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when delivering much-needed retribution to drippy whore office shitheels are, "Who's laughing now?" and "Nice try, Lao Che!"
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Give them your "special" blend.<p>Or you should scream at them that Chuck Norris just turned 68, and do you think he ever makes fucking coffee? Then kick them like Chuck would.
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just cause I usually make the coffee every morning doesn't mean that they can't do it once and a while. Also, when they drink the last cup and then don't fill back up, it drives me crazy. Not filling pot of coffee back up = Baby Elephant through window
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why does pee smell like suger smacks when you don't eat suger smacks?
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with "Yarp". <p>"Did you complete the cost by cost report?"<p>Yarp. I then impale them with garden shears.
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that "Missing in Action" was a series of action films starring the great Chuck Norris, and Missing in Action is what they're going to be if they keep lobbing prepubescent pachyderms your way. Cha-KWA!! THUMP
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when I was really young, my parents took in a family from Korea and they stayed with us for a while. The father Master Min as we called him was a karate instructor Tung-so-do(sp) i believe. He actually taught Chuck Norris for a while when Chuck was starting out. How fucking cool is that!
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"Are you done with that TPS Report? Didja get that memo I sent you?"<p> "Yarp." STAB STAB THUMP
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So then he trained you as well of course, much like Jean Claude in Kickboxer.
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that you were destined to be a bearer of the FLK, much the way an olympic runner carries the torch, except they don't hurt people
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but then I broke both of my tibea really bad and the doctors said that if I got hurt again there was a chance my legs wouldn't grow right. So I had to retire
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it's been like 13 years since the accident, so I'm ready to leg kick again, this time with flames
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to have bones laced with magma instead of marrow<p> I am in negotiations with Kingsford to mass produce a brand of lighter fluid that starts your charcoal barbecue hibachi as well as one's leg for an office meeting
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if after you killed someone with an FLK, you lit your cig off of your still burning tendons
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They just take what is rightfully ours. I have a feeling Kingsford needs to have a warciple visit to their corporate hq.
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Hello fellow warciples. I have finally been allowed to log in. <P>Firstly, Diggers I get your point that you see the hat as symptomatic of other problems with the film. However, you are so ridiculously hung up on the minutiae that you cannot see any other alternative to your richter scale nerdism. Let it go man, lat it go. <P>Glovedone, my god you are truly deserving of a flaming leg kick and then a cornholing from Paddington bear. That's how much of a drippy little whore you are. Cutting and Pasting someone else's abuse is really a low ebb. Even for you. <P>Kloipy- try the special blend made by grinding their pets into powder and then boiling it up. If they are going to put you to that much effort then they need to season their coffee with tears.
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Hey man, good to have you back! The church has been out a member for awhile and here we are back and strong as ever!
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From the hills of Columbia
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http://tinyurl.com/2ubxue
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and it won't let me log in.<P>Which is really infuriating as I am abusing quota time to be here anyway. <P>I'm also snowed under deadline hell.
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Tomorrow I will start my day with a cup of hot flaming leg kick coffee.
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Fucking England losing at everything. <P>Bearing in mind we pretty much invented every major sport it seems downright unfair that we suck at all of them.
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not only is it interfering with my ability to mess around on here, but I'm actually having to do so much that I am behind with the holy scriptures. <P>The blessed trinity came to me in a dream last night and threatened me with a world of hurt if I didn't pull my finger out. Apparantly working to be able to afford to buy more copies of the holy films isn't a viable excuse. <P>Burt was especially harsh, and threatened to kill me using his thumb and some beef jerky.
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I'm moving on Friday, so only a few posts here and there from now on. I'm thinking of moving to the wilderness "survivorman" style
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but BT are proving to be more incompetent than previously thought,
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and also No Country for Old Men, which I'm very excited to see
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keep the faith, I'l try to get back to cockpunch Braff later
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I've got a meeting in 20 mins anyway. I'm releasing bears into the room
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If you sacrifice some co-workers, the holy trinity will smile upon thee once more.
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to be honest- it was good but not as good as it is made out to be.<P>I had vacancy come on sunday which is suprisingly good. But what is distressing is that in the Extras you can watch all the snuff films at full length. <P>How unpleasant is that? and why would you want to?
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http://tinyurl.com/2med98
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into the conference room first Kloipy, before everyone gets there. Then unleash the starving bears into the meeting. Wednesday will no longer be known as "hump" day at work, but as "limb tearing" day.
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I thought it was pretty good as well. Better than what I expected. That is disheartning about the snuff films though<p> Pillow, it'll teach them to make the fuckin coffee
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HAT's BITCHES!
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I think you'll like No Country. It'll make you want to buy a cattle gun
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FRIENDO!
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love PTA and DDL and abbr as well
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in your conference room, and shorn ligaments and sinews, and gnawed bones
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Daniel Day Lewis is the man.
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Travis-he is a brilliant actor
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I spanked the hell out of you nad I feel a little bad
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Look who brought the TB to a standstill. What a stupid bitch.
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will play a sexually molested, sheltered teenage boy who lives with his prostitute mother but is sent to retard camp in the forthcoming film "Briff-Braff?"
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We hit the Post button within a second of each other. High five!
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March 12, 2008, 9:25 a.m. CST
I THINK THAT MOVIE'S CALLED "THERE WILL BE STUPID"
by BringingSexyBack
Starring you-know-whom.
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if you notice your mom can't sit down for the next two days without great pain, it's because she stopped by last night for more "conditioning." That transpired while you were at work flipping Rallyburgers
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Two great minds team up to crush one not-great mind
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That's the way it is.
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Not good for much, but when you push him down a flight of stairs, it cheers a lot of people up
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back in. <P>Go eat a dick glovedone.
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Burt has forgiven me. <P>I fed the head of HR (when the fuck did they stop being called personnel and do they really think "Human REsources" isn't wanky?) to a bear this afternoon. <P>Then I fed the bear to a graboid. <P>It was a busy day.
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they never saw it coming
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HR or personnel, it's all a meal to them.
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Do you guys have an international support group akin to the Blue Blaze Irregulars?
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World Wide Warwick Irregulars, we have cloned millions of Warwicks, which go out to those in any specific need. Be it your taxes, you need a swarm, or just as a foot rest WWWI is there
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known as pocket protectors.
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March 12, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST
and by all means are we an international organization
by just pillow talk
In this instance we are for globalization. And by globalization I mean taking over the world in the name of the holy trinity.<p>George Lucas should fear our Warwick clones.
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country disguised as end tables and lamps. Soon they will be in every American household (phase I). Phase II involves grapefruit and a yard stick.
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but we usually only help baby elephants and flying possums
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shield your eyes is all i'm saying
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GLOVEDONE YOU SILLY FAGGOT HOW GOES THE COCK SUCKING!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAH OWNED DOUCHBAG OWNED!!!!!!!! I KNOW YOUR NICKNAME IN HIGH SCHOOL SALLY IT'S SUGAR BECAUSE WHEN YOUR PULLING THE ANAL GANG BANGS IN THE SHOWER YOU GIVE IT OUT SWEET HONEY BOY!!!!!! OWNED AND PWONED AND PAWNED YOU NACY BOY ROOT GRABBER FUCK HOLE!!!!OWNED AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!!!!! LISTEN YOU WARCIPLE CIRCLE JERKS THAT INCLUDES YOU LOVEY GLOVY SINCE YOU GOT YOUR NOSE SO FAR UP THESE BANANA HAMMOCK WEARING WEIRDOS ASSES, THEY LEAD YOU AROUND AND YOU TAKE IT LIKE THE LITTLE BITCH YOU ARE. I AM A BENEVOLENT AND GENOROUS GOD TO MY OWNED SLAVES HERE IS AN ARTICLE ABOUT FAGGOT COCKSMOKER CUM LICKING GLOVEY LOVEY DOVE THE TRANNY TURD BURGLER!!!!!HA OWNED AGAIN!!!!!!!! IT SO EASY IS BECAUSE YOU'RE A WEAK STUPID FUCKING LAME O SHIT EATING FUCKWAD!!!!!!!!!!OWNED AGAIN BY MY OWNEAGE!!!!!!!!!!COWARD GO CUT AND PASTE THIS POST WHILE I PUNISH MY SHITTER WITH A GLOVEDONE, THAT'S A SEMI SOLID NUT FILLED BOWL SNAKER!!!!!!!!OWNED AGAIN!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR STUPID IT'S THAT ALL THE COCK AND CUM IN YOUR THROAT CUTS OFF THE AIR TO YOUR LITTLE FUCTARD BRAIN YOU SPINDLE CHESTED PENCIL NECK!!!!! OWNED AND PWNED OWNED AND PWONED. NOW YOU FUCKING WARCIPLE WANKERS I COMMAND YOU TO GO TO THIS SITE AND SEE THE FUCKTARD IN ALL HIS NON GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!OWNED OWNED AND OWNED!!!!!!!!!! HERE IS THE INFO I CHOSE TO GIVE YOU SLAVES http://tinyurl.com/2d3qoj!!!!!!!!! OWNAGE AGAIN LOVEY GLOVEY YOU NUT SACK GURGLING SHIT PILE!!!!!!!PWONED AND OWNED COWARD!!!!!!!!!!
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...don't interfere or upset the good work being done by the Banzai Institute ("Helping him help us."), I'm cool with it. Just remember:<P>No matter where you go, there you are...
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get back to work cleaning the Mr. Misty machine.
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I'm a little wary of it hahaha
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I was just hoping not to check it out and end up with 2girls eating shit at my work computer
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the picture is probably the best
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i like the 'bigfoot' type look of the pic
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Anyone this obsessed with gay male erotica is obviously dealing with their own repressed homoerotic desires. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but please don't repress those desires, Glovedone. For god's sake, come out of the closet. Closet cases are notorious pricks (as we have learned time and again in TB). You'll be a much nicer person once you're ok with giving it or taking it like you secretly want to give it or take it (or are ALREADY giving it or taking it in secret).<BR><BR>And before you shoot off a knee-jerk retort accusing *me* of being gay, I just want you to know that I--unlike you--could give a shit less what you think about my sexual orientation. See, that's what separates homophobes from the rest of us straight (or--for that matter--out of the closet gay) guys: we don't give a shit about what other people do with their specials. We're not *obsessed* like you are. We're not angry about it. We're not angry with ourselves for thoughts or actions we feel are dirty. <BR><BR>Now Glovedone, if you're below the age of 17, you may have a good excuse for being sexually insecure enough to be throwing these kind of transparent "gay" insults around. That's pretty normal. But if you are really an adult--get some help.
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Actually, that Patterson/Gimlin film of a Bigfoot (or "Patty" as they call her) has never been debunked. The very visible muscle movement under the skin has baffled experts for years. It's not consistent with anything other than actual flesh, bone, and muscle tissue. And no, that ain't no zipper!
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No, the guy you're thinking of (I forget his name - I believe he's dead) confessed to being the first foot print guy.<P>The Patterson/Gimlin film has never been debunked. Patterson has been dead for many years. However, Gimlin is still alive and adamantly defends the story behind the film. Although he has conceded the possibility that he may have been duped by Patterson (a VERY risky notion considering Gimlin was the one with the rifle when the creature was spotted), his character and eyewitness account are held in high regard by both "experts" and skeptics.<P>As for the zipper, I'm not sure what you're referring to...I've seen the hi-def/stabilized version of the film and I don't recall anything being flagged as a zipper.<P>FYI - I had a major interest in that film when I was a kid. There have been times when I've watched it and thought it was a man-in-suit and there have been other times when it has given me the creeps. There are things in the film (and details in the account of the event) that are really quite remarkable.
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I saw a special on History a few weeks ago, they studied the film and showed the full film a few times. And it really doesn't look human at all. and a human supposedly in unable to walk the same way as the creature in the film. Also they set up film for a few weeks and tried to bait something in. And as they were sitting out one night something started throwing rocks into their camp. So they set up these traps with wood and nails sticking out. Something stepped on one of them and they took blood samples and the dna showed some sort of primate match but also DNA that didn't match anything human or animal. Pretty cool stuff
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Have you guys heard of the Weird US books? They are filled with all sorts of weird urban legends and stuff. I live in PA and there are a lot of weird places close to where I live. Including the Seven Gates to Hell
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it probably was MythBusters. Check the show Monster Quest on History, there are some cool things on that
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I'm glad you took time out of your busy day to respond to me. I found your attempt to classify me as gay, humorous, considering that I am all man, baby! Anywoo, just to clarify I have nothing against Homos. I just think it's gross and vile. So when I use the term "you're gay" or "gay" it just represents that I find something disgusting. I hope this clears up any confusion. Thanks your your letter, Rainbow!
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Supposedly, back in the early 1900's there was an old asylum set back in the woods in Hellam, York PA. There were gates leading up to the asylum, specifically 7 gates. Well the story goes that the place burnt down and those that didn't die in the fire ran out into the woods and were never seen again. Now, if you go up there (which I did, only made it to the third gate) you can walk into the woods and see what is left of the gates. They say that no one can make it to the last gate and if you do you supposedly enter hell or go crazy. Many people who have gone have reported hearing weird sounds and people whispering. Even the Weird US guys wouldnt go into it. When I went I just got a really bad vibe and turned back, but that's probably just from the stories I had heard.
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I must really piss you off...Dance Monkey, Dance!
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The lumbering gait has been "duplicated" before and it's always been through some elaborate or rather unnatural manner. Yet none of these duplications have been able to account from the ease of movement, the larger/longer than normal arms, the fingers that MOVE, the huge trapezius muscle, or (most importantly) the massive thigh muscle that can be seen flexing in mid-stride when "Patty's" right leg hits a lower point of elevation.<P>Xiphos - Ha! It's too bad that you never came across a sasquatch during one of your expeditions. It's kind of unfortunate to think that only a dead one will prove, once and for all, whether those sons of bitches really exist.
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SHE A FUCKING BITCH WITH A MANGINA!!!!!!!!HAHA FUCKING OWNED BITCHBOY!!!!!!!! YOU LOVE COCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!OWNED MOTHERFUCKER OWNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i OWN YOU YOU CUNTY I FUCK YOU UP THE ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!I SQUEEZE YOUR THROAT IN A STRANGLE HOLD BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU LOVE ME FUCKING YOU QUUER BAIT!!!!!!OWENED AGAIN FAGGOT!!!!!! NOW PUT ON A FRESH DRESS AND FIX YOUR MAKE UP SALLY DADDYS HOME AND HE WANTS HIM SOME OF YOUR FUCK HOLE CUNT!!!!!!!! I MAKE YOU LOVE ME BECAUSE I AM YOUR GOD AND YOU LOVE LOVE LOVE COCK!!!!!!! OWNED FUCK STAIN CHUMP PWONED ASS LOSER.!!!!!!!!!! YOU LOVE THE ATTENTION I GIVE YOU BECAUSE THE RANCID CUNT THAT SHIT YOU OF HER HAIRY WOMB DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU CAME WITH A TATTOO AROUND YOUR ASSHOLE THAT SAID FOR RENT AND SHE HATES POLE SMOKERS!!!!!!!OWNED MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU LOSE AGAIN TO ME BECAUSE I AM YOUR JESUS!!!!!!!!!! NOW BOY GET ON YOUR KNEES WE'RE PLAYING PRIEST AND ALTER BOY SQUEAL LIKE A PIG!!!!!!!!!OWNAGE PUSSY OWNAGE NOW GO TOSS SOME SALAD!!!!!!!!!!
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because they are wearing hat's!My hat left me for a female Bigfoot,which brings back some cruel memories.....hat
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Or am I thinking of different "Bigfoot" footage? <p> I can't remember the details, but I thought Landis and someone else sorta fessed up to creating the suit (was it with Rick Baker?) way back then- as a goof. I swear I remember seeing/reading an interview with him where he sorta danced around and said everything but, "Ok, I helped fake that footage!". He knew Patterson, maybe? I dunno...now, it's killing me to figure it out.
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http://tinyurl.com/2uv8pn!!!!!!!! OWNED AGAIN FUCKBOY!!!!!!!!!!hAHA I'M SELLING YOUR ASS TO THE WARCIPLES FOR CIGS MANGINA!!!!!!OWNED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
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I've looked through some of them before and there IS alot of , well, weird shit out there. Never heard of the 7 Gates of Hell, but it sounds like it could be creepy as shit. <p> There's a "Weird California" book I've leafed through a few times while hanging out in book stores and it's given me a fair number of ideas for places to set stories or specific scenes in stories I write.
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http://www.bigfootencounters.com/files/Walkingwithbigfoot.gif <p> Sorry for the spaces. I'm lazy today.
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http://www.strangemag.com/landischambers.html <p> Again, sorry for the spaces. This is what I was thinking about. Reading it over, it doesn't sound all that convincing, but it's interesting that some folks really believe this guy Chambers was behind it. Kind of a funny answer for Chambers to give when asked about it, though. I mean, wouldn't you deny it heavily if you had nothing to do with it? Or, if you did? <p> That is, unless, the guy liked the attention and didn't want people to stop pointing at him for it....
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I should know. He threw me out the windshield of my jeep, with my seatbelt still on.
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chocolate pudding!funky!
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March 12, 2008, 6:25 p.m. CST
Not sure I believe in Bigfoot, but I do believe in LEPRECHAUNS
by finky089
especially when Coolio is involved.
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expect to see some next Monday night, in fact.
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you all know it.Bigfoot......argh...
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Top o'the Mornin to yeh.
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I knew we were connected somehow. Ireland forever!
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And FUCK the Black and Tans.
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England managed to beat France a few weekends ago. Thank fuck. It was the only redeeming feature of an otherwise desperate 6 nations. <P>I'm half Irish Terry.
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It's true, Bigfoot IS REAL. I too saw Steve Austin fight him, and tear off his arm. But then he helped Sasquatch's alien stepmother glue the arm back on, and now the two cyborgs are buddies, and Steve is the alien stepmother's sugardaddy.
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he's real as the stars in the sky
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and if anywhere is haunted in the US it's that place
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Some say the dead work there...
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Lumber of the Living Dead
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especially when there's real young kids working at the cash register. <p>Last summer I was building a patio/walkway, so I've got all these pavers stacked up and they cost 0.89 each. Dude asks me how much they are, then says he can't find it in the book so he scans them for 0.69 each. He then goes on to say that there's no cameras here anyway and why the hell should I be paying so much money for "just some rock".
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there is supposedly a house set back in the woods with a community of albino people living in it, and if you park your car on the road and honk 3 times they will chase you through the woods.
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and it was the middle of august, hot as hell, stuck in this little box, bees are everywhere, and old ladies need help hauling fertilizer out to their cars constantly. The worst time was some woman bought tons of tiny cacti and you had to individualy scan every one of them. There were at least 60 of them. I wanted to shove a catus down her throat
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in that case, you should have made an impromptu decision to also do an add-on to your house, because after all, it's "just wood" and he'd charge you accordingly.
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I need some trees, some wire, and some cabinets. It's just some plant, some copper, and some more wood!
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And because of that Kloipy, them not wanting to be out there, they are constantly counting stuff wrong or scanning stuff incorrectly. Next time I'll buy a tractor and they can scan the weedwacker instead, because after all, it's just grass cutting stuff.
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Was, I'll admit, at the local McDonalds. Because they fuck you at the drive thru-all the time, when I worked drive-thru I ALWAYS gave people free shit. So two big Macs, two cheeseburgers, and four fries would become two big macs, three cheeseburgers, six fries and a six piece nugget, seven happy meal toys and a cookie.
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I worked for Lackluster Video because I didn't know the evil that it was at the time. I never made anyone pay for late fees, and gave people free rentals based on what they were getting. Evil Dead 2 = free rental. Armaggedon=normal fee. My boss had to sit me down, because I was losing money for the company with the amount of credits I gave
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March 13, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST
McDonald's can afford to take it up the golden arch once in a wh
by just pillow talk
Kloipy, you didn't get fired?
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I was friends with the boss and we used to hang and smoke up behind the store, but he just had to make an effort because the GM talked to him
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The only job I ever got fired from was another high school job working at our neighborhood's first Subway sandwich store. It was a good, fun job. The owner was a cop who took me under his wing. I became the go-to guy and would often close the shop. He'd reward me by buying a six pack of Michelob for me on weekends. I was 16 at the time. Plus, I started dating his hot sister, who also worked there. Anyway, I got fired because one night after closing, at about 3am, I was playing guitar in the back room through an amp. I hadn't locked the front door yet, and the OTHER owner, Arab guy, decided to come for a visit. I guess he didn't enjoy my hot shreddin' licks. He was a coward and wouldn't fire me on the spot, he had the "cool" cop manager do it, and that guy reluctantly did so.
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I worked for a restaurant as a server for a long time. I hated it and all my managers were assholes. One day everyone(servers) called off so I had to work on a Sat. afternoon by myself. I was so stressed and so busy and my one manager just sat in the back smoking the whole day. Then she yelled at me and told me I needed to clean up the tables. I was like<p> "I'm really busy can't you do it?"<p> "No, I'm a manager, that's not my job." she said<p> so I ran and grabbed the big tub to put the dishes in, I mean I stocked this tub full of them because I didn't have time. On top of the other dishes was one single cup. With water and ice. I kept staring at it thinking 'please don't fall, please don't fall"<p> Of course it fell. all over me down my shirt and pants. I walked calmly into the back and then dumped all the plates, cups, and bowls onto the floor, shattering them. Then I ripped off my shirt went up front in front of the customers, threw my shirt at my boss who was talking on the phone, yelled "Fuck this place, I quit" and walked right the hell out of there. I was 17
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So like, you were bare-chested with muscles rippling and veins popping out of your forehead, cursing your boss in front of her customers? That'd be AWESOME Your boss was probably secretly turned on
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because of its educational content, everyone SHOULD see it. How else are you supposed to learn to fight zombies
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I think she did secretly want me to serve her. But she was an ugly fucking witch
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educational book and lecture tour, Evil Dead 2 would be viewed by every single household.
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Nor did I ever work anywhere that I could give out free stuff.
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if you loved Evil Dead you will LOVE dead alive. It was one of Peter Jackson's first movies, and it's it seriously one of the goriest movies ever made. a guy gets his head ripped off and they stick a garden gnome in the stump, a guy gets his face skin torn off like a mask, and a guy takes a push mower and chops throw like 45 zombies. There are much gorier parts than what I described but I'll leave them to you to discover if you see it.
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I could imagine the 4 of us going to schools giving motivational speechs about the COC
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motivational speaker bit to break the ice for us. <p>I learned to sharpen pencils in a van down by the river!
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"You think you're being ASSERTIVE?! I'll tell YOU about assertive! You need a gross of sharpened No.2 pencils to let people know where you're coming from! I whittled pencils down by the river with a jacknife by the light of a barrelcan fire!!"
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just to let them know what is up
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like a baby panda. Just to let them know we're not kidding around, and this is serious. "See this infant koala, people? It's only two weeks old, and it's an endangered species." (PENCIL STAB, crowd gasps) "But NO species is more important than the Church of Chang, or being TRUE" (flings dead infant koala across the room)
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March 13, 2008, 9:08 a.m. CST
at least one, really depends upon the responsiveness
by just pillow talk
of the crowd. Better to "over sacrifice" then "under sacrifice".
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and feed the baby non-bears (pandas, koalas) to it. "This is your brain not converted to the Church of Chang way of thinking".
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theoretically could accept whoever he wants into the church, it might help drive our point home if we push a wheelchair-bound little girl, or an old woman, down a flight of stairs like in Exorcist.
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the audience covered in blood, we haven't done our jobs
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they wouldn't see that coming
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sometimes shock is a great tool of persuasion
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but prefer bad taste. <P>they both are great though- <P>CRIKEY DEREK's GONE APESHIT
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You can never go wrong with Dwarf wrestling
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if we show the clip from Protector where kchorn gets tossed through the window, everyone's right leg should spontaneously burst into flame out of anger
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They have actual Bad Taste not the awesome Peter Jackson movie. <P>And the bit of Braindead that always makes me augh is "Father McGruder kick's arse for the lord"
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Meg Ryan films and set fire to them with Flaming Leg Kicks.<P>Just because.
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I actually got my wife to watch some of it with me last night. She'd never heard of it, and i was like this is the guy who did LOTR. She almost got sick durning the pus in the pudding scene. I love Bad Taste as well. Just have a soft spot for Braindead I first saw it when I was 9 and the lawn mower always stuck with me
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that's a strange one
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how he starts slamming it on the ground and punching it in the face
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to a couple office workers that it's alright if Harrison Ford wears an earing at 65, because he's Harrison Ford, dammnit, and he can do anything and still be awesome. He could kick a baby for a field goal and still be awesome
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the CGI looks no different to me than the Ang Lee version. The first time you see a full-blown shot of Hulk, he does this little muscle flex move, and it looks completely not real. I can't make up my mind if I like the way Abomination looks, or if I think he looks like a puke-limegreen turd with a bumpy vertabrae
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I didn't like it either. I was never a huge Hulk fan to begin with though
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reminds me a lot of the Optimus vs Megatron showdown, where you get two main characters at opposite ends of a street, they face off, then they rush at each other for that full-blown first punch, a la Rocky and Apollo's freeze frame at the end of Rocky III. It's just been done too often, I guess. Oh who am