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Ninjas Started The Civil War!
Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
I know it’s true because Danny McBride says so.
Check it out:
My Favorite People!!
Danny McBride explains how Ninjas started the Civil War, how our Forefathers were all Wizards, and that Hitler was really a nerd, in this lovely clip from Drillbit Taylor.
Please share this with your friends, colleagues, and post it on your websites. Know your past!
Drillbit Taylor is in theaters on March 21st
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Hopefully. Women really respond to someone with a lot of "first" posts.
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That was more useful than anything I learned from my douchebag history teacher.
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His appearance on Conan was amazing. His performance in Hot Rod stole the show. I am really excited to see The Foot Fist Way. And it looks like me might make Tropic Thunder not suck. Loved this clip!Probably no hope for Drillbit though...
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Not funny
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in his/her agreement with the Good Doctor Z.
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... that the line "tequila is the most jealous of all the liquors" is not funny, then we have different definitions of funny. Sorry.
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You mean the guy who wrote Beethoven's 5th, Curly Sue, and Home Alone 4???
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Now I have to.
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I was told this was a kids movie.
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not too funny, mind you, but it did have some elements of funniness: timing, relevance, distinction stated through ironic overstatement, etc. Conversely, the clip just had some jackass reciting a string of stupid things in a setting that seemed both forced and lazy. Didn't do it for me.
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AICN in bed with Paramount.
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He has a few pointless scenes that could afford to be cut, but even those will make excellent DVD extras.
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I'm gonna have to go ahead and agree that this really isn't that funny. I got nothing against Danny Mcbride, mainly because i have no clue who he is, but this clip just doesn't do it for me. The lines are funny but are delivered so stale and wooden. No sense of timing. I blame this more on the director than the actor though. I though this movie looked like crap before, and i still believe that.
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You suck, Kevin. It's clear that Clerks was a fluke, you fat fucking piece of shit. Two hours of my life have been utterly wasted thanks to you, asshole. I could have been sleeping or jacking off.
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is "ninja." The definition of "phool" is "poster who is a ridiculous stickler when it comes to ninja-related grammar, and who will no doubt be accused of being an asshole and perhaps also stupid further down the talkback."
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must be a bunch of boring cunts. Doctor Zoidberg. Do you like being a boring fuck?
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The tequila line was humorous in an observational way but hardly funny. There really needs to be a fresh comedic voice out there. All we're left with is the Apatow camp (enjoyable but in danger of becoming old quickly), the Will Ferrell gang (well past ripe and they cross-breed with the Apatow camp as it is) and the spoof bunch who think it's anywhere near original or funny to throw everything into a movie to parody pop culture and see if it sticks (way outworn its welcome; see Superhero Movie as the latest horrible example, not to mention the wretchedness of Meet the Spartans).
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Mar 10, 2008 1:46:36 AM CDT
Danny will steal this movie. Like Carrell stole Almighty
by spidermanfreak20
Seriously. The same way Steve Carrell stole Bruce Almighty so shall Danny steal the film from everyone else. Expect to see big things from Danny soon.
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Shitty clip.
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Make me wanna legalize suicide...
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I am now in the hospital, dying of laughter. So funny.
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were better than this.
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and Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11! Scary thing is...there's surely more than a few high schoolers who would believe this.
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Not funny. It was like watching some poor sap do a comedy routine for his high school talent contest. None of it was humorous, at all. Throwing out random things like that doesn't work without elaboration. "There was a ninja that stormed the beach at Normandy!" Wow. A reference to a ninja in a setting that a ninja does not belong in. What a riot. A ninja on D-Day would probably be good fodder for some humorous situations, but just saying it and then moving on to another impossible scenario isn't funny. It's stupid. "I own a giraffe that can sing! Oh and before you can think about that, did you know that Benjamin Franklin washed my car yesterday?!" I think I should pitch a sitcom. If so many of you find crap like that funny, I could just fill 30 minutes with similar nonsense and I'd have a hit.
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Unless you are the type of moron that laughs at anything and everything.
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Mar 10, 2008 5:59:43 AM CDT
Iv'e often wondered what happened to John Hughes
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
The guy made the greatest teen movies ever, and as bad as the Home Alones' are the slapstick violence in them is equal to any Looney Toons cartoon. Still they were the beginning of his slide to the dark side.
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He was a wannabe artist with only one testicle.
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They will never get old, no matter how long people in movies and on the internet run them into the ground. Comedy gold forever.
-scudd, 1998 -
Beverly Hills Ninja?
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Seriously. When Hitler was a kid, he tried to piss in a goat's mouth and it bit off the tip of his penis. Involuntary circumcision, and an inability to enjoy getting laid. Circumcision ---> Jewish people ---> goat ----> scapegoat. You see how it all connects. Its all true. Google it.
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Technically, 'ninja' is an English word too, since there is no English equivalent. Pluralization is a matter of context. You can say 'In feudal Japan, many warlords employed ninja to carry out their dirty work'. But, you can also say 'I was going to pay the cable bill, but I a bunch of ninjas stole it so I had to chase them to a strip club'.
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This one does not dig deeply enough. Yes, ninjas help start the Civil War, but outsourced much of the work to the Thugee and Assassin cults. In return for this work the Ninja were given control of U.S. convenience stores. These stores still employee Thugees and Assassins today. Next time you go into a 7-11, don't dig too deeply into the novelty ice creams, you might find a body there.
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employ, not employee
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fucking cunt.
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of time.
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Hence the name Roundheads. Sheesh, you would think people would learn history. Tony Stark worked for Oliver Cromwell against his peers in the House of Lords, he betrayed many noble families and watched as their lands were seized for the good of the government. It was during this time, Stark started sleeping with his assistant, Margaret Thatcher.
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But not as funny as reading you guys explaining why in fact it is not funny. I liked that guy as "Bust Ass" in ALL THE REAL GIRLS so it's cool that he's suddenly gonna be in about ten million movies.
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Right aint-it-liberal-propaganda.com?
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This looks absolutely awful. Not funny at all.
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is a moron. I know you get $ for every click but seriously stop wasting our fucking time with tis excrement.
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that abe lincoln was a wizard though! it wasn't as funny as mcbride's other stuff...drillbit taylor is still a Netflixer to me at this point.
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dude, I thought the day of saying completely unbelievable things with a straight face were gone, since Will Ferrel has done it to death.
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the Roy rogers as a founding father bit was funny espically with the Abe Lincoln and george Washington adn I wonder how many HS kids today would catch that only one of those was a true founding father.I wasn't making a point to see Drillbit but now i kinda doI'm not a big Aptow fan because everytime I think of Aptow I'm reminded of a little kid wearing an Aptow jersey in the Aptow produced Kicking And Screaming
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was funnier than that entire clip. Here's what he said for the duncecappers in here who dont bother reading the talkbacks:
"Giant Robots started the Civil War -pause- John Brown was one."
There's a way to tell a joke, and there's a way to not tell a joke. The differences are ALL in the timing.
Furthermore, was this scene a test shot to see if the face animations worked on the giant HR Puffinstuff body suits? I'm thinking it is. -
Just throw in a product and you've got yourself the makings of a typical unfunny commercial developed by bonehead ad folk. Like the ones pimping this laugh-free bit.
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And I can offer no analysis as to why. Played video, chuckled some, was confused by the posters who explained why it was not, in fact, funny at all.I do like to laugh, me.
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The plural of 'moose' is 'moxen'.
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As above, NINJA IS AN ENGLISH WORD TOO. In english, the plural is 'ninjas'.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ninja
You can drop the -s in certain contexts, or if you are, you know, speaking Japanese. -
The plural of 'moose' is 'moice'. The plural of 'Matrix' is two shitty movies.
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i'm liking mcbride more and more. i thought that was funny shit. i've read drillbit and i thought it was pretty good. not your typical john hughes movie but a fun kids film, and no offense to paul feig, but better than unaccompanied minors. didn't realize josh peck was playing the bully in this one too. mean creeks is a must-see for those of you who haven't.
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War? See, now that's funny!
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...I love the dude so far, but nothing tastes good if its constantly rammed down your throat. We will be capable of discovering him for ourselves over the coming months, we might even be able to decide for ourselves wether we think hes really funny or not. We don't need constant idolatrist propoganda. If thats a deleted scene, that sucks. Fat white trash trying to score with underage girl is always funny shit for a kids movie.
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No, It's not a "must see". It's a decent movie and probably a great short-story. It suffers from "indie-hype" though like "Hard Candy" which is a better movie but a bit thin storywise. So no, you don't HAVE to see this movie, if your only able to see one more movie in your life, this would be a terrible choice! I would suggest.. Hmmm.. damnit.. I never remember the titles of my porn!
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...I remember sitting through all the real girls thinking "wait...did they call him 'bust ass'?".
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odds are good it will be another movie, and thus you achieve great win.
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steve carell was a nobody before bruce almighty...and he certainly didnt steal the movie..... he should be kissing jim carreys ass for the rest of his untalented life......who the hell is McBride ?? never heard of him....is he like McLovin ??
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they bought robot attack insurance after the Sam Watterson endorsement.
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designed the Monitor and the Merrimac. He sold to both sides, and that's how he started his fortune.
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but he got damaged at the Ford's theater and was deactivated.
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Sam Watteson endorses robot attack insurance. Coincidence? I think not.
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kick their FUCKEIN ass
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That clip doesn't look like part of the movie. Notice how when Owen Wilson shows up, the coloring and contrast of the whole scene changes? This looks like "cutting room floor" material to me. I found it hilarious though. Ninjas broke the liberty bell.... I knew it.
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The civil war was caused by a host of factors that included economic and social differences, political disagreements about States' and Federal rights, and the election of Lincoln in addition to the slavery issue coming to a head, and secret for-hire sabotages by an east Indian yogi splinter group, unaffiliated in any way to any ninja order.However, Tequila is, in fact, the most jealous of all liquors.
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Reminds me of the drivel that most of my professors tried to shove down my throat. The clip made about as much sense as their hate rants.
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thanks for the history lesson but i think we all knew its not true.... geeze....u must have had too much techila if u thought otherwise
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Seriously, we might as well have learned that stuff. We were fed some grade-A bullshit throughout the years.
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HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR! Now unless it involved something along the lines of Shirow or D&D (R.I.P. Gigax), you kids will squeal like a pig getting punched in the snout. I thought this shit was HILARIOUS, mainly due to the fact that the students just sat there and took it. And besides, kids in school today are just like the ones in that clip: They don't do shit unless they are asked to answer a question. Dr. Zoidberg just needs to get a life and stop bitchin' at every little thing that YOU KNOW will make people with a real sense of humor laugh their asses off. Tell you what Dr. Z: Why don't you polish up that "Ultimate Screenplay" that will blow the all movies outta the water, go to a movie studio, pitch the story and CONVINCE THE STUDIO to give you millions of millions of dollars to make a movie that YOU THINK will be the movie to end all movies...Fucking nerds...
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