Ain't It Cool News (www.aintitcool.com)
Review

Harry watches Roland Emmerich's Blissfully Retarded Movie of 10,000 B.C.!!!

Wow. Before I begin this review – I need to clarify my use of the word… RETARDED. This is, by no means to infer that I am talking about those with actual mental handicaps. Rather – I’m using the word to describe the relaxed mental faculties willingly exercised via apparent influence by huffing paint or markers… possible addiction to crack… or an apparent ether binge. This is self-inflicted retardation. You see – I’ve tried to think of the proper term to describe the utter lack of basic intelligence that went into the making of 10,000 B.C. I flirted with the term… DAFT – but it just didn’t quite seem to be the right thump. So I went to Thesaurus.Com – Retarded and learned that I could use the following phrases: backward, birdbrained, defective, dim, dim-witted, dopey, dull, dumbbell, dumbo, dumdum, dummy, exceptional, feeble-minded, gorked (I like that one), half-witted, held back, imbecile, lamebrained, mentally defective, moronic, numbskull, opaque, pinhead, retardo, sappy, simple, simple-minded, slow, slow-witted, stupid, subnormal, touched, underachieving, weak or yo-yo. Frankly – none of those really feel right. You see… 10,000 B.C. is blissfully retarded. You see, I thoroughly enjoyed my time in the theater. Oh sure – the film is retarded… but blissfully so. Nevermind the basic concept that a German filmmaker has constructed a film that apparently claims that it wasn’t Jewish Slaves that created the great pyramids of Giza, but rather – an ethnically diverse group of spear-chunking cavemen and wooly mammoths. This in the same week that the Israelis claim that Moses was on psychoactive drugs on Mt Sinai when he had conversations with the burning bush. OUCH. Ok – let’s start at the beginning of this film. It starts off fine. Basically. There’s an old psychic woman that makes a prophecy that on the “last hunt” that the hunter that kills the big mammoth – gets the blue-eyed girl. But that she and a great many people will be captured by “four-legged demons” and that hunter and blue-eyed girl would eventually save the future of their people. Ok – I’ve no problem with that prophecy… in fact it motivates the young to want to kill the wooly mammoth to get the hot girl. And sure enough our hero, D’Leh (played by SKY HIGH’s Steven Strait), kills the big furry elephant – but he feels he didn’t do it honorably or bravely so he decides he shouldn’t get to claim the girl he loves, Evolet (played by Camilla Belle). However, soon 4-legged Demons (dudes on horses) swoop in all CONAN fashion and take his wet dream away. Now that his pussy is in danger, he’s motivated. And folks – let me tell you. Camilla Belle is at least 7 points on a scale of 1-10 – hotter than any other girl in this film… so you can absolutely believe that a young hot dude would fight giant killer ostriches and tame saber-tooth kitty cats… and fight a GOD to claim the hottest piece of ass circa 10,000 B.C. I don’t really have a problem with that plot arc. You know – in ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. – the whole plot was that everyone wanted to fuck Racquel Welch because she was the only blonde of the time. I mean, cavemen of every tribe wanted her… ground based dinosaurs wanted her, giant sea turtles wanted her and flying dinosaurs wanted her. In fact – in most of these early civilization adventure movies – it always comes down to getting your hot babe back. It’s the heart of this genre. For much of the film – I’m basically satisfied with what is basically… a Ray Harryhausen film. I like the wooly mammoths, the giant ostriches and the sabre-toothed tiger. That’s cool. In fact, in the trailer – you know how D’Leh has a face down with a Sabre Toothed Tiger? Actually – the film gets very Aesop Fable / He-Man and BattleCat… D’Leh saves the Tiger from a death trap – and the Tiger seems to want to be his friend. But after one additional scene where the tiger identifies him as having “magical powers” – the most awesome creature of the film… is never seen again. OK – let’s see… you’re making a bullshit film about a make-believe universe… you build a relationship between Boy-Man and a pet Sabre-Toothed Tiger – and you just blow it off. Fuck that. Let’s get fucking KA-ZAR here man. I mean seriously – how badass is a a guy with a mean cool White Spear and a pet Sabre-toothed Cat? Right? But no. They didn’t have the courage to completely rip-off Bob Byrd or Marvel Comics… I suppose I should respect that, but seriously… when will someone step up and make a KA-ZAR film? Right… fucking never. They were “this close” to going fucking KA-ZAR… and dropped the ball. GOD DAMN IT! Instead – he trades a badass Sabre-toothed Tiger for an army of spear-armed warriors. And at this point – while it does annoy me… I’m still along for the ride. Now I want to point out – at this point the film is not spared Emmerich’s astonishing gifts of retardedness. For some inexplicable reason, Roland has a character called OLD MOTHER – the clan’s psychic witch lady. When D’Leh goes off on his quest for pussy… she goes into a trance – and any time that D’Leh survives an intense confrontation… Sabre-Toothed Tiger – Killer Giant Ostriches and just battles with bad guys… They’ll cut from his moment of survival to OLD MOTHER – with a dumbfounded look on her face and possibly fainting. I SHIT YOU NOT. The audience howled in laughter – and I believe Roland did this on purpose for levity – but it’s absolutely RETARDED and unnecessary. Now – as soon as D’Leh gets his army and sets off across the desert – the film is inching closer and closer to marker snorting territory. There was no reason to bring the pyramids of Giza into this story. And the mysteriously tall cloaked figure that is either a space alien or an Atlantean… seriously – that’s the legend in the movie… who is eagerly trying to finish building the great pyramid of Giza… why? Who knows. But apparently the Space Atlantean (who is never clearly seen) likes to work with Albino slaves. Something that caused laughter in the theater. The last 30-40 minutes of this movie are 100% retarded 100% of the time. But ya know what – it’s fun retarded. Does it insult your intelligence, absolutely. Does it cause eye-rolling, absolutely. That said – this is blissfully retarded. The sort of film that is a six-pack delight. This is a knee-slapper. Seriously – you and your friends can laugh your ass off – the rest of the night over this hum-dinger. It’s a sharp looking film, all of Roland’s films are. The film does have some sort of vague intelligence trying to be heard between the big retarded huge honkers… this is a film about civilization struggling with industrial corruption and climate change… and ultimately the cure for surviving was International relations and trade. Ahem. But that’s really really underscored… this film is basically GRAPE APE. A big retarded cartoon. I really can’t believe it’s ultimately about a plot to build the pyramids of Giza by a decrepit alien Atlantean…. Re-fucking-Tarded.

Readers Talkback
comments powered by Disqus
    + Expand All
  • March 6, 2008, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Chud gives it a 1/10

    by BrowncoatJedi

    This shit should not be rewarded with the "BUT IT'S JUST FUN!" card.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:04 p.m. CST

    I *HEART* CAMILLA BELLE!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    And by heart I mean "masturbate to".

  • March 6, 2008, 11:07 p.m. CST

    I'M DEF GONNA SEE THIS

    by BringingSexyBack

    This is Camilla Belle, yall. The goddess herself. If only she would trim her brows just a tiny bit though. But that's not a deal breaker.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:11 p.m. CST

    "blissfully retarded" is shoot 'em up or crank.

    by Holodigm

    this just sounds dumb.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    THE WOOLY MAMMOTH AKA KATHY BATES COOTCH

    by BringingSexyBack

    The Bates baits and awaits.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:13 p.m. CST

    ummmmm......

    by phalaughul

    what? i don;t understand..... whatever the case may be, im most likely not going to see this movie, and go watch NCFOM blu-ray

  • March 6, 2008, 11:15 p.m. CST

    DREADLOCKED RASTA!

    by Bean_

    So how many times are the cavemen smoking weed in 10,000 BCE?

  • March 6, 2008, 11:22 p.m. CST

    I wont be seeing this crap-fest

    by virtual_ninja

    instead i will be enjoying my complete collectors edition of blade runner on blue ray that i bought today, booya

  • March 6, 2008, 11:25 p.m. CST

    Harry hits a new low of incomprehensible gibberish.

    by MaxTheSilent

    Holy shit, what happened about the time Harry mentions Battle-Cat? I couldn't follow goddamn word after that.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:26 p.m. CST

    Slaves didn't build the pyramids, Harry

    by GodMars

    No surprise you liked this movie. You sold your soul a long time ago.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    I don't know why I read this post

    by chewyou812

    my friends came back from wondercon raving about the trailer, but I think it looks like drivel.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:31 p.m. CST

    YES I AM ATTRACTED TO CAMILLA BELLE

    by TerryMalloy

    And yes my girlfriend is like the hotter, Italian version of her. Camilla Belle, I salute you!

  • March 6, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    BRING ON MST3K!!!....

    by closeencounter

    The boys and the 'bots will know what to do with it. I'll see it then. Then it will be even funnier!!

  • March 6, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    12% at Rotten Tomatoes

    by Osmosis Jones

    Yikes.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    that's why I read this post, Camilla Belle

    by chewyou812

    Now I've justified these lost minutes.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:35 p.m. CST

    I liked it...

    by SpiceWonBruce

    The review, that is. I'm not gonna even bother with this outrageous dreck movie.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:36 p.m. CST

    Seriously, has Roland Emmerich made a halfway watchable movie si

    by TVguy4566

    Independence Day? Godzilla was monster-sized crapola with Matthew Broderick cast as the action star (seriously, could you pick a worst actor for this type of movie). The Patriot was American Revolution, Braveheart ripoff crap and casting Mel Gibson as the lead didn't help with the comparisons to Braveheart. The Day After Tomorrow made me want Global Warming to come and destroy all remnants of that film. <br><br> Even Independence Day and Stargate had their flaws and weren't exactly tops on my list of great popcorn or Sci-Fi movies.<br><br> I hold absolutely no hope for this movie being good. It just sounds dumb and not in the good way no matter how much Harry enjoyed its stupidness. I would have rather wanted a straight remake of One Million Years BC and screw the fact that humans and dinosaurs never existed together. Were Mamoths and sabertooth tigers around when the Egyptians were building the pyramids? There is about a 5,000 year mistake right there. At least if you are going to make it stupid anyway, up the dinosaur action.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:36 p.m. CST

    If slaves didn't build the pyramids....

    by closeencounter

    Then who did? The Egyptians themselves? Please.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    why

    by The Real MiraJeff

    can't Hollywood do these types of movies right anymore? I'm sure this one will make a ton of cash but I wonder if Sony's rethinking that decision to committ $200 mil to Emmerich's 2012. I doubt the year will make much of a difference. Emmerich's made one good movie, Independence Day, which some, not I mind you, feel doesn't even hold up that well. The Patriot was alright, I suppose, but the rest is sadly dreck.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    I'd feel offended if i'm a retard

    by DarthBakpao

  • March 6, 2008, 11:42 p.m. CST

    I barely made it through half this review.

    by LoneGun

    And even that was an effort. But I think I get the general idea. The film is cheese - bad but in a fun sort of way. Sometimes I don't mind Emmerich (STARGATE, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW), but other times I can't stand his work (the GODZILLA reinterpretation). And this one looks about as ambitious as GODZILLA, so I'll probably pass on it.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:47 p.m. CST

    Not blissfully retarded, just plain retarded...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...that's what this movie is. It's the most embarrassingly awful wannabe epic blockbuster since...ye gods, I don't know when. I mean seriously, this thing is awful even by Roland Emmerich standards. In fact I'd say it may be his worst film yet. This thing is Godzilla bad folks. Hell, it's borderline worse...

  • March 6, 2008, 11:48 p.m. CST

    WELL I AM A RETARD AND I AM OFFENDED

    by cromwell1666

    BTW- Independence Day-Godzilla-The Patriot? Devlin and Emmerich are terrible terrible filmmakers. If you want them to stop, STOP GOING TO THESE AWFUL MOVIES. YOUR voices are loudest at the box office.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:53 p.m. CST

    Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich, George Lucas, M Night Shymalam

    by cromwell1666

    Through these arrogant sons-of-bitches to the wolves! Long live Coens-PTAnderson-Aronofsky-Nolan!

  • March 6, 2008, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Throw not through

    by cromwell1666

    ahem

  • March 6, 2008, 11:54 p.m. CST

    Harry, learn the difference...

    by Law Talkin Guy

    ...between "infer" and "imply." Infer means to deduce. Imply means to suggest. Try not to mix them up, especially in a sentence about mental handicaps.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:55 p.m. CST

    We had a dumbass crying SPOILER again!!

    by pdennett316

    Fuck sake, if it seems spoilery then stop fucking reading the text dipshit!! How can you even read the text, what with smacking your own head and being unable to focus? <p> I figured out there was a spoiler coming before anything major was spilled, how can so many lack that basic skill? Instead they keep blindly reading till the end and get all pissy because they were too fucking stupid to stop reading. <p> As for this film, I'll never pay to see it, instead I'll wait till it's on Sky Movies where I've at least got the satisfaction of paying for good movies, while laughing at shit like this comes as a bonus. <p> Oh, SPOILER - I tore whiny bastards a new asshole in the preceding sentences.....you have been warned. SPOILER. Dingleberry's.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:58 p.m. CST

    gorked / yo-yo / retardo

    by mr.brownstone

    Those three are all gold standard descriptors of Roland Emmerich picture shows.

  • March 6, 2008, 11:58 p.m. CST

    To add to pdennetts thought

    by cromwell1666

    This is basically a spoiler site. It almost seems redundant to have to repeat it constantly. AICN is usually inside and early information, and as far as I know thats the main reason people come to the site.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:04 a.m. CST

    PDennet

    by TerryMalloy

    There you go being a meanie again!

  • March 7, 2008, 12:04 a.m. CST

    Have you no shame?

    by TerryMalloy

  • March 7, 2008, 12:14 a.m. CST

    Um...Harry...it WASN'T Jewish slaves who built the pyramids.

    by NapoleonDynamite

    It was the Egyptians themselves. First of all, if you check your Bible, you'll see that it doesn't say the Israekites built pyramids, just that they were slaves. The word "pyramid" is not in the Bible. Secondly, and more importantly, THERE NEVER WERE ANY ISRAELITE SLAVES IN EGYPT. It never happened. They were never enslaved. The story is a myth. There was no Moses, no exodus, no fucking Mt. Sinai, no wandering in the wilderness, no conquest of Canaan. None of it. The archological evidence debunks every fucking bit of it. Look for a book called THE BIBLE UNEARTHED by two Israeli archaeologists named Israel Finkelstein and Neil asher Silberman. Finkelstein heads the archaeolgy department at Tel Aviv. The book details what has long been known among archaeologists of the Ancient Middle East -- that the whole of the book of Exodus is fiction. According to the Bible, the Israelites were slaves in Egypt for 400 years, yet not a trace of their presence has ever been found in egyptian archaeology. 2 million people supposedly spent 40 years in the Sinai Peninsula yet not a trace of their presence has ever been found there ever. There was one oasis in partticlar where the Bible says they spent 38 of their 40 years. Not a single sign of human occupation has ever been found there either from anywhere close to the alleged time of the Exodus. Archaeologists can find the remains of small campsites from small bands of bedouins dating back hundreds or thousands of years, yet 2 milllion people in one spot for 38 years left not a single potsherd or bone. Even the amount of shit -- literal shit as in feces -- that would have accumulated from 2 million people in 38 years would form a literal mountain, yet there is no shit, no garbage dumps, no signs of building, domesticated animals any habitation whatsoever during that time. The archoleogy also shows no influx of invaders from the sinai, no conquest of Canaanite cities Jericho was an unoccupied ruin during the alleged time of Joshua and it had noi walls. What the archaeology does show is that the culture who became the Israelites emerged around the 10th or 11th century BCE from the Canaanites. Their language and the pantheon (the Israelites were actually polytheistic until after the babylinian exile)came from the Canaanites. The Book of exodus is ancient, bullshit propganda, loosely based on the Hyksos expulsion in the 16th Century BCE (several hundred years before the Isralites even existed). As it happens, there WERE all kinds of migrations in Egypt by all kinds of people and those who worked on the pyramids probably were multi-ethnic. No one knows for sure exactly where the labor came from, but one thing we DO know for sure is that it wasn't the Israelites. Having said all that, none of the pyramids were built as long ago as 10,000 BCE. The oldest pyramid (the step-pyramid of Djoser) wasn't built until about 2700 BCE. There wasn't even an Egyptian civilization until until about 3200 BCE.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Napoleon Dynamite

    by TerryMalloy

    Thanks for pointing that out. I was going to--but it was going to take way too much effort

  • March 7, 2008, 12:25 a.m. CST

    Moses on psychoactive drugs = more realistic

    by messi

    I don't get why that wouldn't be possible. People have seen weird shit on drugs, why wouldn't he hear a burning bush talking to him. funny thing is people based a belief system descended from his stories. ha.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:28 a.m. CST

    Roland Emmerich did more damage to films that Michael Bay

    by lavatory love machine

  • March 7, 2008, 12:35 a.m. CST

    There were no Jews at the time of the pyramids.

    by Dave Bowman

    The Giza Pyramids date to around 2500 BC. There was no identifiable Jewish, Hebrew, or Israelite race for a good thousand years after that.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:36 a.m. CST

    Messi

    by NapoleonDynamite

    There's nothing unrealstic about prophets getting their visions from drugs. Zoroaster did it. Some of teh ancient Hindu Vedas were written on mushrooms (which they call "Soma" in the Rig Veda). The only theing wrong with the "Moses was tripping balls" theory is that there wasn't any Moses. He was a purely mythical character. Having said that, it's possible that those drugs influenced the ancient mountain worshipping cults from whence the Mt. Sinai legend was derived, but there wasn't a literal Moses.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:52 a.m. CST

    Camilla Belle is drawing me closer and I can't resist!

    by Kirbymanly

    There's a part of me that wants to hand my money over just so maybe they'll put Camilla Belle in more films.... but after the shit-fest streak of The Patroit, Godzilla and The Day After Tomorrow (watch our heroes out-run weather!) I'll never trust that guy again. So long folks, going to rent "Quest For Fire" and "Caveman".

  • March 7, 2008, 12:55 a.m. CST

    With all the bitching about Michael Bay

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    people forgot who the truly retarded hack directors were. (I'm also looking at you, Paul W.S. Anderson!)

  • March 7, 2008, 1:07 a.m. CST

    The George Bush of movies

    by dirtsandwich

  • March 7, 2008, 1:09 a.m. CST

    WTF is blissful about retards?

    by Brians Life

    Napoleon, WELL SAID!!! Seriously, very concise and I agree with your main points. Well said. Kudos to speaking your mind.<br><br>Also, this movie looks like fucking clown shoes.<br><br>Shame on you, Harry. This is bad medicine. To quote Rachel Dawes, "Your father would be ashamed of you."

  • March 7, 2008, 1:23 a.m. CST

    I thought the Moses theory was old

    by oisin5199

    didn't think that the burning bush = cannabis thing was a new theory. That's why Aaron said, 'Moses, what the fuck are you smoking?'

  • March 7, 2008, 1:34 a.m. CST

    Now you little bitches...

    by GeekyAnimeNerd79Beyotch

    .. can't complain about Harry liking everything. Also, Harry, I'm sorry to see your left-wing liberalism has turned you into a desensitized individual who believes he has to explain himself for using the word "retarded".

  • March 7, 2008, 1:35 a.m. CST

    how do you pronounce D'Leh?

    by DarthBakpao

    Dee Leih?

  • March 7, 2008, 1:39 a.m. CST

    BEST REVIEW EVER, HARRY!

    by superduper3000

    Seriously, this is the single best review of yours I've ever read. You admit to liking a movie that has no merit ala Ebert loving big-titty films. BRAVO! <BR> <BR> Just the right balance of pussy-speak and nuance, you really should speak your truthful mind more and be less worried about impressing anyone. In the end, the truth always comes out with crap-fests like this! <br> <BR> Oh yeah, WATCHMENT CAST PIX!! In full garb!! <BR> <BR> http://tinyurl.com/384o6a

  • March 7, 2008, 1:43 a.m. CST

    I agree that it's actually a pretty good review.

    by NapoleonDynamite

    I at least feel like I know what I'm in for. It sounds like the kind of movie that it would be fun to watch on DVD with two or three buddies after sparking up a big, huge fatty. Basically it sounds like a Conan movie.

  • March 7, 2008, 2 a.m. CST

    SO DID YOU LIKE IT???

    by skywalkerfamily

    Uh, I guess not. Was it better than Semi Pro?

  • March 7, 2008, 2:12 a.m. CST

    An Orion Tall?! Revisionist lies by aliies of the J-Rods

    by BrandLoyalist

    Just another J-Rod smear campaign... the Orions have never enslaved, abducted, nor experimented on humans. It was the J-Rods or "Greys" who provided the advanced technology it took to build the network of pyramids and configure them as a properly functioning stargate, and who pursuaded the leaders of the Egyptians and the many resident Semitic tribes to provide a labor pool for their huge "public works" project. Much of the language of their agreement is said to appear nearly unchanged in the infamous Tau-9 treaty; notably, passages regarding provision of subjects for biological research. The ultimate cost of their betrayal may prove more terrible than most will dare imagine.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:14 a.m. CST

    Straightforward

    by Don Lockwood

    I know Harry feels like he has to jazz things up with his particular "style", but for the love of Buddy Christ, how about a straightforward review that actually says whether you liked the goddamn movie? I think he was trying to say that it was so bad that it was good, but I couldn't decypher his particular brand of Variety-speak.<p>What the fuck is a skein?

  • March 7, 2008, 2:16 a.m. CST

    Actually sounds like it SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • March 7, 2008, 2:17 a.m. CST

    What about the obvious racism?

    by Stereotypical Evil Archer

  • March 7, 2008, 2:18 a.m. CST

    Is it better than TRANSFORMERS?

    by skywalkerfamily

    Come on, you can admit it. Is it better than Pirates 3? ROTS? Fantastic Four? I am Legend?

  • March 7, 2008, 2:35 a.m. CST

    You mean "imply," not "infer" - retard.

    by D. Allusion

  • March 7, 2008, 2:46 a.m. CST

    No mention of the new SPEED RACER trailer?

    by milla jovovich

    Was the movie so retarded it made you retarded, Harry?

  • March 7, 2008, 2:59 a.m. CST

    MiraJeff

    by kwisatzhaderach

    The reason Hollywood can't do these kind of films anymore is because they keep handing them to shit directors.

  • March 7, 2008, 3:06 a.m. CST

    a_loco

    by a_loco

    Yes, MiraJeff, we need Sam Raimi to make a movie about woolly mammoths. That would make me very happy.

  • March 7, 2008, 3:14 a.m. CST

    d'leh is the german word for "hero" spelled backwards.

    by sim

    and 10.000 bc is an even bigger pile of shit than godzilla, period.

  • March 7, 2008, 3:26 a.m. CST

    so

    by Fortunesfool

    Why can't you just say its a terrible film. Its clearly another badly written and directed mess that will make money on the strength of good advertising and Cgi. Don't go and see it. If everyone stops going to see this vacuous shit, Hollywood will take notice.<p>Stop trying to justify it, Harry.

  • March 7, 2008, 3:34 a.m. CST

    Shaved legs and armpits: yes or no?

    by Roderich

    and if yes: just the girls or also the boys? Much depends on answering this crucial question!!!

  • March 7, 2008, 3:36 a.m. CST

    Links to Stargate, dullards !!!!

    by dude_gimme_tabs

    The mysterious cloaked figure and the pyramids are to tease links to Stargate.

  • March 7, 2008, 4:14 a.m. CST

    Is the hot chick here...

    by Gilkuliehe

    ...The same little girl that gets attacked by those mini-raptors in the beginning of Jurassic Park 2? Anf if so, damn she grew into a hot piece of ass!

  • March 7, 2008, 4:38 a.m. CST

    Maybe Harry is right

    by disfigurehead

    He was wrong about Cloverfield. I think I need a good laugh so I'll see it.

  • March 7, 2008, 4:45 a.m. CST

    did Camilla Belle have the same face expression

    by chien_sale

    during the entire movie like she usualy does?

  • March 7, 2008, 6:19 a.m. CST

    Awesome!

    by just pillow talk

    Could this actually be a "quality" bad movie, and not another Ghostrider ?

  • March 7, 2008, 6:24 a.m. CST

    Was going to see this now I'll wait for the DVD

    by Yeti

    Should be out by early May. In another good news Steven Strait neen't polish off that Oscar speech just yet.

  • March 7, 2008, 6:54 a.m. CST

    Prequel to 2012?

    by cunningmunki

    Whaddya reckon? When I heard Emmerich's next film was gonna be about the Mayan prophecies/end of the world, I wondered whether there was another reason this film was set in 10,000 BC, which is around the supposed time the Giza Pyramids were actually built according to the whole ancient-civilisation/Atlantean theory, from who's technology the Mayans supposedly got their 'advanced' calendar that predicts the end of the world in 2012. And lo and behold there's a "alien Atlantean" building the pyramids. A link to '2012' seems the only logical reason for including such a bizarre character in this movie.

  • March 7, 2008, 7:03 a.m. CST

    CAMILLA OOGA BOOGA!!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Cunniliga Booga!

  • March 7, 2008, 7:07 a.m. CST

    ALL THE JEWS WERE IN NEW YORK

    by BringingSexyBack

    Before they were exodused to Hollywood. That's why you can find some in Tennessee and Wyoming even. Some got lost in the midwest.

  • March 7, 2008, 7:10 a.m. CST

    Eating paint chips

    by jefflebowski

    What is truly retarded is the number of dudes saying they will actually watch this tripe because Camilla Belle is in it. If you wanna get some mental ammo for your "alone time", there's this thing called the "internet" that is full of hot chicks. Don't spend your hard-earned Taco Bell Shift Manager money supporting retarded films like this or Transformers, Armaggedon, etc. You're only encouraging the problem.

  • March 7, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    JEFF

    by BringingSexyBack

    You mean ammo like this? <p> http://img177.imageshack.us/img177/1273/01ee5.jpg

  • March 7, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    I can't believe anyone can think Independence Day...

    by b15fliptop

    is anything but dreck. Let's see... Will Smith can fly an alien craft because, well, he's a pilot. And we'll stop the aliens by uploading a virus into their computers. Yeah, that's the ticket! I wonder what version of windows they were using? Complete and utter shit.

  • March 7, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Smoke a Bowl and See it

    by redfist

    Might make it more interesting.

  • March 7, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    Boycott this movie...

    by BrooseTheScharuk

    ...and help put a stop to the intentional dumbing down of entertainment. Idiocracy is on the way, and it's no accident. Also, let's find a way to sterilize every person who walks into the theater to see this movie and others like it. Save the future.

  • March 7, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    The tower of BABEL, not GIZA!!!

    by fjosman

    I see all this stuff about people complaining the film is about Egypt and building the pyramids at Giza. Well, duh, although the movie is clearly no history book, everyone knows the pyramids where NOT build in 10.000 BC, come on people! This must be a twist of the story of the tower of BABEL, probably ripped off from the good book. The pyramids at Giza was built ca 2500 BC.

  • March 7, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    I'd rather spend $10 on a really good comedy

    by Reynard Muldrake

    if i'm gonna spend time going for a 'knee slapper' with my friends.

  • March 7, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    I'll watch this when it comes to 8-Track..

    by pancomplex

    So no Ringo Starr in this movie?!

  • March 7, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    So...it's like The Marine?

    by DerLanghaarige

    Fun to watch because of its sillyness?

  • March 7, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    Great review.

    by CatVutt

    I never would've bothered with this, but I'll definitely give it a go on DVD when it comes out now.

  • March 7, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    Harry chose retarded and here's why...

    by FILMFUNK

    because - he retardedly... enjoyed another retarded... Emmerich-movie but retardedly... needs to a-void another retarded... God-zilla back lash hence the retarded... reason he says this - retarded... movie was re-fucking-tarded - 13 - times!

  • March 7, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST

    It can't be worse than Night Of The Living Dorks

    by DerLanghaarige

  • March 7, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    "Blissfully Exceptional"

    by dtpena

    As retarded is a synonym of exceptional... That will appear on the cover of the DVD

  • March 7, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    What's you expect Harry?

    by Kid Z

    Emmerich's the guy who directed a movie wherein people were able to run away from COLD! And not only that, were able to survive said cold by turning on the flattops in a friggin' Wendy's! But still... the damn thing looked great, who can forget the tidal wave hitting Manhatten, right? Emmerich is the king of epic retardation!

  • March 7, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    Did anyone....

    by JayWells87

    really think this movie was gonna be anything but a heaping pile of suck?

  • March 7, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Harry-I have a good idea for a new animation for you

    by Kloipy

    you are sitting in the barber's chair and Sweeny Todd slices your throat and tries to send you down below but you get stuck in the chute

  • March 7, 2008, 10:13 a.m. CST

    How bout "Mentally D'Leh'd"?

    by Regenhund

    Did anyone use that yet?

  • March 7, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    The term isn't mentally retarded...

    by Agent Blue

    It's intellectually disabled. Just changed. Doesn't mean 10000 B.C. doesn't suck a fat cock sock though.

  • March 7, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    This might have been enjoyable as

    by veritasses

    a "blissfully retarded film" IF it had been made in an era - like in the 1950's and 1960's - where that sort of genre was cool and hip and audiences didn't know any better and if it wasn't so way, way over the stop stupid and it wasn't made by a director with a proven track record of wasting budgets (think of what other directors could've made with that money) and if a night out at the movies weren't so expensive that seeing a movie like this makes you feel cheated etc. Saddly those days are long gone. It's not often I have ill will towards anyone but for all our sakes and for the sake of the artists who could put that money to better use, I hope Emmerich never makes another film... plus it's not like Emmerich is going hungry or anything so I don't feel that bad.

  • March 7, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    I Will Gladly Pay $10.75 For This Eye Rape

    by www.valiens.com

    This sounds, by all accounts, like the same crap fest all of the "classic" caveman movies are...but with actual (sure, retarded) plot twists. Who doesn't want to be absorbed in that for two hours? (Or actually, I don't know how long the flick is, but 87 minutes sounds right.)

  • March 7, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    BEST REVIEW EVER!

    by ProfGriffin

    Seriously, Harry.... Very funny stuff. Thanks buddy.

  • March 7, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    YES HARRY..YOU ARE 2 FOR 10000000

    by JBouganim1

    last weeks review was negative also...yipee

  • March 7, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Harry ruins his reviews

    by astro1

    by trying to be overly esoteric. Is the movie good or not? I never get a true sense from his reviews unless of course it's for a film you know he has some biased towards.

  • March 7, 2008, 11:10 a.m. CST

    I like those ones Anchor

    by Kloipy

    A cheeseburger is walking through a play ground and looks up and some Harrys are sitting on the jungle gym, cut back to the burger walking some more, then back the the jungle gym with even more Harrys on it

  • March 7, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Harry used a variation of "retard" 12 times in this review

    by GimpInMyPants

    How does he manage it and still sound like credible voice?! He's a master man. /sarcasm

  • March 7, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    Make that 13 uses of the word

    by GimpInMyPants

    I foolishly overlooked "Re-fucking-Tarded".

  • March 7, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    Maybe...

    by Don Lockwood

    ...the reason he doesn't want to outright say it sucks is he thinks it'll lose him his backstage (backdoor? I shudder to think) access to more dreck produced by these folks. Harry's never been one to shy away from sucking-up.

  • March 7, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Giza? In your imagination!

    by conchetumare73

    I think that the definition "retarded", and any kind of synonyms it could bring with itself, fits better as the real description of your review...Emmerich never confirmed that the pyramids in 10000 BC where the ones corresponding to Giza. Get your self well informed before criticizing others you Star Wars freak! And that goes to all the freaks in this web page too. It's really disgusting too see how you all freak out when some bullshitty science fiction film like Cloverfield goes out...Bunch of nerds...

  • March 7, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Wheres Doug McClure when you need him?...

    by wowsah156

    Seriously when is Emmerich going to step out of his comfort zone and do something original?

  • March 7, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Since Michael Bay has been brought up . . .

    by jimmay

    And I'm one of the haters who feels the need to point out how terrible his movies are every chance I get, I will go on the record here to say that Emmerich is in every way a worse director; and his films are simply unbearable. Independence Day and Godzilla are atrocities, MST3K grade boondoggles that should fill anyone in their possession with soul-crushing shame. I'd watch Transformers for weeks on end before I'd ever sit through Independence Day again.

  • March 7, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    They're building the pyramids for RA

    by MattmanReturns

    Duh. Didn't you see Stargate?

  • March 7, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Anchorite

    by jimmay

    That animation has been driving me nuts since they put it up. I assume it's Lawrence of Arabia (which I'll sheepishly admit I've never seen), but it's so vague and un-iconic it could be from any movie ever made where a guy in a turban made a facial expression and looked at something.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Welcome to Erf, 10,000 BC!

    by Kloipy

  • March 7, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    the pyramids and the alien-dude

    by anarchx

    isn't it obvious? it's the pyramid for Stargate!

  • March 7, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    the pyramids and the alien-dude

    by anarchx

    isn't it obvious? it's the pyramid for Stargate!

  • March 7, 2008, 12:06 p.m. CST

    This place is good for "news", not for "reviews"

    by conchetumare73

  • March 7, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    anchorite

    by www.valiens.com

    You're welcome.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Transformers vs. Independence Day

    by GibsonUSA

    Isn't that like comparing turd from different breeds of dog? Which is worse...which is worse??

  • March 7, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    I just saw it

    by disfigurehead

    It was not retarded until the last 30 minutes. The best thing was the Wanted trailer.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:49 p.m. CST

    We are all Jewish slaves today, am I right?

    by performingmonkey

    Yes I am. The whole point of democracy is to fool people into thinking that we're not. The Holocaust's books were cooked to make us feel guilty. Operation Northwoods - the 1962 plan to stage acts of terrorism on U.S. soil and blame it on Cuba in order to gain voters' support for military action.

  • March 7, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    "Exceptional" doesn't have the right connotation, Harry.

    by -guyinthebackrow

    Know what I mean?

  • March 7, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    performingmonkey

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Oh, shut up.

  • March 7, 2008, 1:18 p.m. CST

    "Now that his pussy is in danger, he’s motivated.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

  • March 7, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Remember that gents.

    by Mr. Nice Gaius

    Pussy = Ultimate motivator.

  • March 7, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Scientific Criticism

    by Vergil

    The one thing that irks me more than people giving a bad movie a good review is people criticising a movie for bad science when they have not a clue one as to what the hell they are talking about. Oh, and performingmonkey, pass me a tinfoil hat please.

  • March 7, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Is it better than Dr. Zhivago?

    by Reel American Hero

    One thing that truly bugs me, especially when I worked at Blockbuster, was when people ask is "insert cheesy comedy movie title here" better than "insert drama title here". Honestly, how do you compare movies of two different genres on merits of quality? So asking something like, is 10,000 B.C. better than Semi Pro is really subjective. I've heard bad things about both, but one is an intentional comedy, the other is a soon to be relabled a Sci Fi Channel original B-Movie. It really all depends on what whoever is in the mood for. It's like saying which is better food buffalo wings from Hooters or a Filet Mignon. It's really all subjective to particular tastes and shouldn't be compared.

  • March 7, 2008, 1:29 p.m. CST

    Harry is my favorite reviewer

    by dr sauch

    I love the fact that he enjoys a good retarded movie. This is why we have VanDamme, this is why we have BIG TROUBLE LITTLE CHINA. Am I comparing this piece of shit to those movies? No. What I am asking is why is it okay to love old stupid movies, but when they come out during our time, we shred them? My kids will watch 10,000 BC on digital cable and laugh and talk about it, and ask me how they could make such crap back in the 2000's.

  • March 7, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    dr sauch

    by Vergil

    Since you have a question mark in your post I'll assume you are asking a question. And the answer is: Silly can often be fun, but stupid rarely so.

  • March 7, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    Regarding the animation in the corner

    by Regenhund

    I keep waiting for it to be updated so that the view pulls back and reveals a naked Harry riding Moriarty. Ew...

  • March 7, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST

    performingmonkey

    by just pillow talk

    What the fuck is wrong with you?

  • March 7, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    The Barack Obama of movies...!!!

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    It is that terribly overrated! But you know what? The mindless masses will flock to this film -- simply because they suck the media's hype! <p>It is movies like this that make me feel that creative script writing is becoming a lost art. </p> *sigh*

  • March 7, 2008, 2:02 p.m. CST

    good stuff

    by IndianaPeach

    that's the best review you've written in a while harry. it actually kind of made me want to see the movie--despite the fact that i wrote it off five seconds into the trailer. Tall alien-atlantean pyramid builders? Pussy-Motivated Savages? hah. nice.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    you're an idiot ccchhhrrriiisssm

    by just pillow talk

    You should have tried to work in your stupid Obama comment with a movie that most people actually want to see.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    Hazza

    by Kubla_Khan

    Seriously, Harry...Your - writing style - is becoming more - and more - like the way - William Shat - ner speaks. But yeah, anyway, this looks bad. Someone has to slip in the obvious joke here: Roland Emmerich - we suspect your career (like the mammoth) will soon be exitinct...

  • March 7, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    I love the way Harry refers to women as "pussy".

    by fitzcarraldo2

    Absolutely vile. Why not just call them "cunts" and be done with it?

  • March 7, 2008, 2:07 p.m. CST

    I mean extinct.. Motherfuck!

    by Kubla_Khan

    EDIT BUTTON.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    I think Harry wants to bang the caveman

    by EmptyWalletProductions

    "a young hot dude would fight giant killer ostriches and tame saber-tooth kitty cats…" Harry wants to get De-Laid!

  • March 7, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Pyramids

    by Alientoast

    The Great Pyramids probably predate the Egyptian Civilization as we understand it, TBH. We basically base our "knowledge" of when they were made to Herodotus, who basically took it for word from the ancient Egyptian version of a tourguide.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Harry Thinks...

    by Tourist

    ...That the new Roland Emmerich film is -insert excuse for a boring pile of shit to justify my promotion of a film- and we should all check it out and turn off our brains! Yeah, this film is a useless pile of boring shit, that not even a mongoloid could sit through without getting restless, but hey, I got contacts to maintain and bills to pay, so I need you to mindlessly consume! Buy some fast food on the way home while your at it!

  • March 7, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    I'll see it when it comes out on DVD

    by skywalkerfamily

    in a few months.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    Alientoast

    by Vergil

    There are a couple of bits of evidence that the pyramids predate the "Egyptian Civilization as we understand it". Namely, the water erosion of the Sphinx, and some astrological calculating (the Orion Mystery). But these fly in the face of MUCH evidence to the contrary (not just Herodotus...not by a long shot). So we should probably downgrade your "probably" to a "possibly".

  • March 7, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    lol at/with ancorite...

    by Tourist

    ...I think I hate you, but this morning I love you for reminding me of Capones wifes website. Holy shit, thats BLISSFULLY RETARDED.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    just pillow talk...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    If you were a little more perceptive, my post was a response to the chronic HATE-BUSH shit that is always frequenting these message boards. <p>There was an earlier post that called this film "THE GEORGE BUSH of Films. I simply responded to such ignorance with a more clever dose of sarcasm, calling it "THE BARACK OBAMA of films." At least I saw it as overrated -- just as I see the inexperienced and unqualified but rhetorically eloquent candidate. </p> <p>*sigh* </p>Don't you guys ever know how to take some sarcasm? Such mindless "Obamatose" behavior is almost an "Obamanation" (like this ridiculous film).

  • March 7, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    Emmerich's films are all retarded

    by kafka07

    Emmerich is a big budget version of Uwe Bol.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    RottenTomatoes: 10K BC = 8% favorable...

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...and 92% unfavorable! <p>Yet BoxOfficeMojo is predicting that this film will bring in about $35 Million during the weekend! How can something THIS BAD have become THIS POPULAR? I suppose that some people are simply moved by the hype (like Harry). They take Harry's advice and turn off their minds when they walk into the doors of a theater, a show or a voting booth.</p> <p>I'm going to the movies this week. But I am going to watch BLINDSIGHT. </p> ;-)

  • March 7, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Sharp Looking!?!?!?!

    by movieman742

    Almost all the night scenes are shot with grain but that is I think the purpose BUT each scene has different grains. It cuts back and forth from being heavy grain to crystal clear in a 5 minute scene. It is horrendous. How can you really say it was "sharp looking" Harry, honestly

  • March 7, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    The Tall Alien Dude is Xenu

    by jim

    You know it's true

  • March 7, 2008, 4:06 p.m. CST

    al green loves you!

    by ironic_name

    but i think you're a cunt.

  • March 7, 2008, 4:07 p.m. CST

    a cyber Jeff Golblum = my money

    by ironic_name

    I'm there, dude!

  • March 7, 2008, 4:39 p.m. CST

    This can't get to the discount theaters fast enough!

    by Larry of Arabia

    They don't have the courage to make big dumb-ass films like this any more. Then again, I won't be paying 11 bucks for it either. It sure gets my Sunday afternoon fiver, though.

  • March 7, 2008, 4:41 p.m. CST

    Thanks for clearing up the "Retarded" Business.

    by Andre the Frog

    But I'm afraid you've already lost the retarded vote.

  • March 7, 2008, 5:24 p.m. CST

    Cyber Jeff Goldblum?

    by PedroM

    I´m there!

  • March 7, 2008, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Sony Now Thinking...

    by BoggyCreekBeast

    We paid HOW MUCH for this guy's next script?!

  • March 7, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST

    The Israelites built the pyramids?

    by Johnno

    The Bible doesn't state what they were doing, just that they were slaves. As for Moses being on drugs, sounds like another dreamt up and failed attempt by the 'enlightened' to try and tarnish a religion. A movie like this should totally appeal to these folks... I bet it sounds way more plausible to them! Someone's on drugs, and I'm pretty sure it ain't Moses...

  • March 7, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    harry, do you avoid reviewing certain movies that

    by Lloyd Bonafide the Korean War Veteran

    you dont like? or accentuating the good attributes of bad movies? what im getting at is, does your business you are in force you to pick and choose what you say or what you review? (please take this as a question, not an attack - after all, good business is hopefully good business). The reason i ask is that every movie review seems to be a good one, and then i go and see a movie (that i probably would see anyway) that i think is, ahem, "retarded."

  • March 7, 2008, 5:43 p.m. CST

    I think the same of your reviews, Harry

    by Immortal_Fish

    "some sort of vague intelligence trying to be heard between the big retarded huge honkers."<P>Indeed.<P>Wouldn't keep coming back here after 8 years or so if I felt otherwise.

  • March 7, 2008, 5:47 p.m. CST

    More like 10,000 B.S.

    by dirtsandwich

  • March 7, 2008, 5:58 p.m. CST

    So, okay...

    by Archive

    Seems to me that if we want to see more original content and less liscenced properties and remakes, we've got to put up with some misguided efforts. Harry's right. This is exactly the kind of thing either Harryhausen or Charleton Heston (or, GASP - BOTH) would have been sucked into before the 70's ended. This COULD have been a classic. It just isn't. If it IS fun, I think we might want to support it, just to keep GhostRider 2 waiting in the wings. Besides, if this is a hit, Vern will be inundated with DTV pre-history movies, and that's a collection of reviews I have to read!

  • March 7, 2008, 6:49 p.m. CST

    Caveman

    by welsh12uk

    The only good "prehistoric" movie ever made was Caveman with Ringo and Barbara Bach. Ahtuk says "She love you, yeah yeah yeah!"

  • March 7, 2008, 8:06 p.m. CST

    funny how they all have white teeth

    by Judge Briggs

    i still fuck her... imagine her bush though and the B.O.!

  • March 7, 2008, 8:17 p.m. CST

    more Harry animation ideas

    by future help

    1. 10 guys jit in his smiling face. 2. Harry fucks young boy in ass. 3. 10 guys jit in Harry's face while he fucks young boy.

  • March 7, 2008, 8:21 p.m. CST

    caveman had carl lubmly, tv's M.A.N.T.I.S!

    by ironic_name

  • March 7, 2008, 8:33 p.m. CST

    WHEN IS THIS MOVIE SET?!

    by skywalkerfamily

    DOES ANYONE KNOW.

  • March 7, 2008, 8:44 p.m. CST

    I knew this movie was gorked.

    by Mike_D

    i knew it.

  • March 7, 2008, 9:14 p.m. CST

    Please Don't Listen to Harry...

    by moviemenace

    This is not "blissfully retarded", it's just retarded. Plain and simple. You will not derive satisfaction from this piece of shit in any way. Two minutes in, you will know you'll hate it. At that point, it's too late. You want "blissfully retarded" check out "Vantage Point". Hilarious. Not good, but plenty of bad laughs.

  • March 7, 2008, 9:29 p.m. CST

    Grape Ape! Grape Ape!

    by Zeke25:17

    I always liked Wheelie and the Chopper Bunch too...even though every episode ended with the little toadie motorcycle going "I TOLDja, I TOLDja" to the baddie boss motorcycle. Better than Jabberjaw, not quite as good as the Funky Phantom. And you wanna know who built the pyramids? ELVIS! Stonehenge, too! And you know what's goin' on down there in the Bermuda Triangle? ELVIS NEEDS BOATS!

  • March 7, 2008, 9:38 p.m. CST

    boring movie

    by BMacSmith

    the sabretooth barely shows up. the bird things are barely seen. the mammoths do the same shit you've already seen in ROTK, King Kong, and 300. its mostly just idiots running around trying to be cavemen. strangely sensitive, animal friendly cavemen. absolute shit

  • March 7, 2008, 9:46 p.m. CST

    looks like Germany's creative filmmaking days

    by ewokstew

    ended with expressionism. Just ask Emmerich and Uwe Boll.

  • March 7, 2008, 10 p.m. CST

    Hey Harry...

    by andyny29

    did you sleep with your wife yet? Anyway, does anyone remember Camilla Belle in the second Jurassic Park movie? She was the little girl who is attacked by the compys.

  • March 7, 2008, 10:31 p.m. CST

    I went to high school with Steven Straight

    by i kick tits

    Xavier High School

  • March 7, 2008, 10:49 p.m. CST

    "the Israelis" claimed that about Moses?

    by AntoniusBloc

    Could you be more specific? I doubt all of Israel has abandoned their orthodox Jewish faith and claimed Moses was high

  • March 7, 2008, 10:53 p.m. CST

    Isn't this the plot of the Stargate film?

    by AntoniusBloc

    Minus the time travellers?

  • March 7, 2008, 10:59 p.m. CST

    Learn to use the em dash properly, Harry.

    by Saintv1

  • March 7, 2008, 11:49 p.m. CST

    AntoniusBloc

    by NapoleonDynamite

    You're right. It wasn't "the Israelis" claiming that Moses was on drugs, it was one Sraeli psychology professor witha pet theory. The dude is not a historian or an archaeologist and his hyothesis is not being taken seriously by any real scholars and certainly not by "the Israelis" as a state or as a people.

  • March 8, 2008, 12:47 a.m. CST

    F#cking dreadlocks?!?

    by aicnreader

    White cavemen didn't have dreadlocks. You have to intentionally make your hair look like that. Just another example of Hollywood trying to appeal to "hip" youth. I'm so sick of white people kissing so much black ass all the time.

  • March 8, 2008, 12:48 a.m. CST

    Geographical blunder

    by pranaviyer

    Somebody tell me, how does it happen that our Hero travels north with his army, following the North Star, to the mouth of the Nile? Does that mean there were caucasian tribes in the south of Africa? And when did Africa lose those amazing mountains, or did we all just miss them while surveying Africa? JEEZ... And lets not even talk about mammoths crossing the Sahara...

  • March 8, 2008, 12:55 a.m. CST

    I just got off the phone with Corky...

    by Uncle Stan

    ...and he thinks Harry is retarded.

  • March 8, 2008, 1:15 a.m. CST

    the other reviewer thought arabs built the pyramids

    by happyboy

    why are you all even arguing this, no one thinks israelites built the pyramids save people who get their history from "The 10 Commandments" with charlton heston. of course the egyptians built the pyramids themselves and that's what anyone with a decent education is taught. one of the reasons why egypt was able to divert the huge amount of labor the pyramids required is the high/low season of the nile itself. the incredible richness of the soil following the yearly flooding of the nile allowed the egyptians to cultivate their crops for the entire year in a short season, thereby freeing up labor for the rest of the year. FREE EGYPTIANS built the pyramids as huge civic projects living for months of the year in massive labor camps in service to the pharaoh. no where else on earth did a civilization have this luxury, it's due to this basic surplus of food in addition to architectural prowess that was the crucial piece in allowing egypt to create these great works. no jews anywhere in this story except in jewish myth itself which sought an association with the glory of the greatest historical nation of ancient times

  • March 8, 2008, 1:57 a.m. CST

    I AM A FALSE PROPHET

    by Magma Suit

    GOD IS A SUPERSTITION This movie made me want to die, and only served to remind me of how much I love Stargate.

  • March 8, 2008, 1:58 a.m. CST

    One more thing, Jackie

    by Magma Suit

    The Almighty or whatever is Pharoah Robert Byrd.

  • March 8, 2008, 1:59 a.m. CST

    Also`

    by Magma Suit

    The slaver guy who wants to fuck the Fremen girl is a Goa'uld.

  • March 8, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    I went, I saw, I liked, I feel guilty . Happy Now?

    by Yeti

    My nmae is Yeti and I like CRAP (as long as it's entertaining)

  • March 8, 2008, 10:07 a.m. CST

    So bad, a caveman would hate it!

    by MrMysteryGuest

    Not mine, just a headline I read in a local newspaper. But funny, nonetheless!

  • March 8, 2008, 10:28 a.m. CST

    erm aicnreader

    by lb

    I think the dreadlocks are used because its the cliche 'dirty' hairstyle......nothing to do with trying to be "down" with the kids. Also, anyone trying to get historical lessons from a Roland Emmerich film are retarded.

  • March 8, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Roland Emmerich is Uwe Boll but with bigger production costs

    by Stalkeye

    Why this fucker continue to make movies is beyond me. Should have revoked his Director's guild card since ID4.If Hollywood really needed a german director, they would hire the guy who did das boat and there's also Paul Verhooven, but he's from the Netherlands, right?...right?

  • March 8, 2008, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Roland Emmerich was the guy that did Universal Soldier

    by Stalkeye

    good concept teaming van Damme and lundgreen, but the movie eventually turned to utter shit.fuck they could have used those same actors, with a bigger budget to make a Contra movie instead. Emmerdick is no more creative than Paul WS Anderson. At least Event horizon was decent and to some extent Resident Evil.

  • March 8, 2008, 12:09 p.m. CST

    Leave it to libtards..

    by ccchhhrrriiisssm

    ...to now question the existence of Moses! What next? Was George Washington a cross-dresser?

  • March 8, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    You see...

    by Rerun

    Am I the only one offended at Harry's use of "You see...", like we're all a bunch of kiddies gathered around for some new Uncle Remus story, told by a patronizing web designer.

  • March 8, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    by thegreatwhatzit

  • March 8, 2008, 12:39 p.m. CST

    But they knew how to build the pyramid

    by Sick Fixx

    Thanks to electromagnetism. Same as the guy who built Coral Castle. Goggle Coral Castle and see what I mean.

  • March 8, 2008, 12:57 p.m. CST

    A word from Big Chief Stereotype

    by thegreatwhatzit

    Ugh, review is heap big buffalo chip. "Fun retarded"? WTF??

  • March 8, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    You see...

    by JimCurry

    You see... You see...

  • March 8, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    by Thunderbolt Ross

  • March 8, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Sick Fixx

    by Vergil

    Another Junior Mr. Science on the case eh? They didn't need any Coral Castle Electromagnetism because they had a lot of hands and 30 years.

  • March 8, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST

    YOU SEE YOU SEE YOU SEE

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    That's what I was about to post above! It posted itself before I could type it, then I see, you see you see ...<p>You see - a German director making a movie about space pterodactyls and pyramids is on thin ice with his blatant anti-semitism!

  • March 8, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    You see?

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Seriously ... <p>You ... see?

  • March 8, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    The only good film was almost STARGATe

    by kirttrik

    Everything else has been disgusting dreck

  • March 8, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    kirttrik

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Don't you mean "You see - Everything else has been disgusting dreck."

  • March 8, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    Poor Ancient Egyptians

    by Vergil

    No one wants to give 'em their props.

  • March 8, 2008, 3:16 p.m. CST

    At least there's no talking animals

    by skywalkerfamily

    for the love of God!

  • March 8, 2008, 4:43 p.m. CST

    I question

    by Magma Suit

    the existence of Moses just like I question the existence of Hercules. All it is is history by consensus: if a couple million people believe it happened it must have! Fuck the evidence! Also, Moses was just Ahknaten (sp?) the pharoah who introduced monotheism to the world. Philip Glass wrote an opera about him. It's pretty good.

  • March 8, 2008, 4:54 p.m. CST

    I dunno man...I sort of like "feeble-minded" and...

    by FlickaPoo

    ..."sub-normal"...

  • March 8, 2008, 5:13 p.m. CST

    IT'S NOT A FUCKING LION!

    by Maniaq

    Actually I didn't mind Day After Tomorrow, despite expecting to absolutely loathe it and I totally rate Stargate, although both are not without their flaws... <br> This pet cat thing - anybody else think that smacks of John Carter of Mars? <br> wow! I almost said John Carpenter -but that was a completely different Mars...

  • March 8, 2008, 5:16 p.m. CST

    I loved Universal Soldier when I was 11...

    by Tourist

    ...Maybe 11 year olds will love this? I doubt it, its got no Van Dammage nor blood and guts.

  • March 8, 2008, 6:34 p.m. CST

    Bible and Archaeology

    by Fireball XL-5

    For the record, archaeology has, to this point, been the biblical record's best advocate. We're talking one hundred percent accuracy thus far.

  • March 8, 2008, 6:47 p.m. CST

    ...and one more thing

    by Fireball XL-5

    Just because you read the opposite in a book does not mean it's true. Compare opposing viewpoints with the facts and think for yourself. Don't let people steal the truth from you.

  • March 8, 2008, 6:52 p.m. CST

    Fireball XL-5

    by Vergil

    For the record, you live in a fantasyland.

  • March 8, 2008, 7:06 p.m. CST

    Vergil

    by Fireball XL-5

    For the record, I asked people to investigate and think for themselves, and you offered only an insult. Which of us is more confident in his position? Come on, you're better than that.

  • March 8, 2008, 7:31 p.m. CST

    I saw I am Legend! It was a LION!

    by skywalkerfamily

    And it ate some deer.

  • March 8, 2008, 7:41 p.m. CST

    Ka-Zar!!!!!

    by stardogg

    Thanks for mentioning Ka-Zar, I got that vibe when I first saw the trailer. Haven't read a Ka-Zar comic since the 70s. Oh shit I'm old! Ka-Zar would be a kick-ass movie.

  • March 8, 2008, 7:56 p.m. CST

    Jeezus you nerds

    by skywalkerfamily

    Isn't this a Fictional story?

  • March 8, 2008, 8:03 p.m. CST

    Fireball XL-5

    by snomusic

    Yer assessment of Vergil may be overestimated. 1 Corinthians 3:19; 1 Corinthians 1:25 and 1 Corinthians 2:1-5

  • March 8, 2008, 8:06 p.m. CST

    Fireball

    by NapoleonDynamite

    You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. You really don't. You've obviously never taken a course in archaeology or read single peer-reviewed journal. Almost none of the historical claims in the Bible can be confirmed by archaeological evidence and a great deal of it is directly REFUTED by the evidence. I detailed some of it upthread, but that's by no means all of it. You are uneducated on the subject and you are making yourself look stupid. Go read some journals and come back when you know something.

  • March 8, 2008, 8:18 p.m. CST

    TomBodet

    by NapoleonDynamite

    This Alexander canard (or sometimes Julius Caesar) is a common gambit used by literalist apologists. It's bullshit. There is a great deal f archaeological and documentary evidence suporting the campaigns, conquests and influence of Alexander the Great. It's not comprable to the character of Moses who is unattested outside the Bible, but the more damning evidence is the simple fact that there never were any Israelites in Egypt, therefore, no role for the leader of an Exodus. It never happened. The battles of Alexander can be confirmed archaeologically. The archaeology CONTRADICTS everything about the Moses fable. As to Jesus, most historians do believe he existed but that (obviously) he wasn't magic and he never came back to life. Almost nothing is considered to be historically verifiable about him other than that he was crucified under Pilate (the one thing which iscorroborated outside the Boble by Tacitus and Josephus). One thing you should also bear in mind is that any ancient attestation of an ancient personality autromatically becomes suspect when supertnatural claims are made about that person. Impossible claims can alwaus be safely assumed to be impossible. That is the standard for evry other religion and mythology but Chroiwstians want special rules for their own fairy tales. The person alleging a "miracle" is the one with burden of proof.

  • March 8, 2008, 8:31 p.m. CST

    pussy pussy pussy pussy

    by Little Beavis

    say it a few more times, Harold... pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy............

  • March 8, 2008, 8:38 p.m. CST

    NapoleonDynamite

    by Fireball XL-5

    God is patient. He'll be there waiting when you decide to open your heart to him.

  • March 8, 2008, 8:44 p.m. CST

    Napolean

    by snomusic

    "For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God." I would reccomend watching Mountain of Fire: The Search for the True Mount Sinai. Also, I suspect Fireball isn't too worried about convincing you of God's existence, it's God that makes Himself real to you, not our arguments. Asfor the existence of Christ and His resurrection, consider this: How would a handful of followers scattered by the death of the man they followed for three years, return from that devastating loss proclaiming He rose again on the third day, enduring persecution, torture and slow agonizing death? The only way that would happen is if it were the truth. Men are willing to die for two things - that which they love and the truth. Men are not willing to die or be tortured for a lie. Christianity has survived and spread because it is truth and the testimonies of God's transforming power continue throughout the centuries, not only of the revelation of His Son and the price He paid for our redemtion, but also of the miracles He continues to do of healing, both physical and circumstantial. This post is not expected to convince you, but just for fun - do some research about the many atheists and scientists who set out to disprove God's existence and ended up believing on Jesus and His sacrifice and resurrection.

  • March 8, 2008, 9:26 p.m. CST

    snomusic Fireball

    by suit and tie

    Testify my brothers! Hallalujah and amen! where are my snakes? I need to handle me some, maybe drink some strictnine to show my faith. Snocum, why don't you mention any of the following: 1.) The sheer numbers of scientests tthat have BECOME athiest or agnostic far outways the ones that went the other way. 2.)The fact that YOU PERSONALLY believe in bullshit fairy tale stories that are rooted in BELIEF doesn't mean the rest of without the herd mentality and irrationl fear have to buy in. Lastly, you seemed to gloss over that the largest growth in "christian" business churches are the charismatic end of the world types and the Mormons. Unless you're the kind that believes there type of delusions are not in the business of christianty. Oh yeah one other thing, Allah Akbar, these fuckers are dwarfing the buddy christers nonmormon type of converts then christian big business. Hail Luciefer! that made up story is just as likely as your made up story. There is no truth in relgion ya knob only irrationallity and fear of a dude wearing diapers that lives in the sky that knows all. Also wasn't Hay-sus a jew? So why do all you christers hate the jews? since you know he's like elvis and all to you guys ya know the king and all and hes a yidshe you should like those guys since you're ripping them off. Fuck i needs me anothe belt of whiskey so I can beat up my old lady like it says in the biblecomic.speakin of that shit why is there 2 bibles couldnt get it right the fist time. as a matter of fact take your bullshit christer stuff and stick it right up your jesus hole aka the glory hole.

  • March 8, 2008, 9:38 p.m. CST

    Harry wanted a History Channel accurate

    by skywalkerfamily

    study of hunting in 10,000 B.C.

  • March 8, 2008, 11:08 p.m. CST

    Wow suit and tie

    by snomusic

    That 'post' was.... interesting - I need a bath now. Well my only response is that I am not a Mormon, J.W. or a Catholic and I don't hate Jews. You seem to be the one spewing all the hate. I really don't expect you to understand, "For the natural man is not able to take in the things of the Spirit of God: for they seem foolish to him, and he is not able to have knowledge of them, because such knowledge comes only through the Spirit." 1 Corinthians 2:14

  • March 8, 2008, 11:26 p.m. CST

    We still don't know how the ancients built the corn palace!

    by Uncle Stan

    And Leonard Nimoy never did "IN SEARCH OF The Corn Palace."

  • March 8, 2008, 11:33 p.m. CST

    Jesus Fucking Christ

    by justgetreal

    Wasn't this supposed to be a blog about a retarded movie??? When did the Hare Krishnas start logging on?

  • March 9, 2008, 12:46 a.m. CST

    this movie fucking blew

    by WolfmanNards

    it wasnt even entertaining on a crappy level. At least with day after tomorrow, there was tons of shit to laugh at. This movie was long slow, pointless, thoughtless shit. There was 1 mammoth scene. It was about 7 mins long. The tiger thing lasted about 3 mins. And the bird things (which Im fairly certain never existed at any point) was about 10 minutes.) The rest of the movie is people walking in the desert in their underwear. Pure fucking shit. Waste of my time. I go to shit movies like this looking to at least have a good laugh. Like Dragon Wars. There's a fun romp. But this thing? Piss poor.

  • March 9, 2008, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Hey, Snomusic

    by NapoleonDynamite

    There is no evdience that the disciples ever claimed Jesus rose from the dead, nor that they wree ever executed for their beliefs. They left no writings of their own (Nothing in the New Testament was written by a disciple or an eyewitness of Jesus. The authorial traditions around Matthew, John and the apostolic epistles grew from 2nd Century folklore, not from historical reality). Also, people die for false beliefs all the time. Joseph Smith was martyred for his claims and refused to renounce them. Plus, unlike Jesus, there is first hand testimony from witnesses who say they saw his golden tablets. Those Heaven's Gate whackos died for their beliefs. The 9/11 hijackers died for their beliefs. Even the Christians who allegedly got persecuted by Nero and in later centuries weren't killed for their beliefs or their claims about Jesus. No One gave a shit about their beliefs or their claims about Jesus. They were scapegoated because they were despised for their lack of patriotism, their refusal to contribute or show respect to the state temples (something which wasn't really that religious but seen a s a symbolic gesture of respoect to the state -- very similar to saying the "under god" part of the Pledge of allegiance) and they wouldn't fight for their country. Also, they were obnoxious, proselytizing tools who constantly insulted pother people's gods. Everybody hated them because they were self-righteous assholes (the more things change, the mor they stay the same) so they became easy scapegoats for guys like Nero. No one gave the slightest shit what they believed.

  • March 9, 2008, 4:08 a.m. CST

    Utter Shite.

    by maverickheartgoose

    Just seen it. The lead dude TALKED TO THE SABRETOOTH TIGER. Brilliant. Uwe Boll shouldve made this. Quite liked ID4 and Day After Tommorrow

  • March 9, 2008, 4:42 a.m. CST

    Close but no cigar

    by Zybon

    Except she was always using the word "infer" When she obviously meant "imply" And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing But frankly, I can't imagine why

  • March 9, 2008, 6:33 a.m. CST

    Fireball XL-5

    by Vergil

    My response was the only one I could come up with. When people "investigate" as you claim to have done, and come up with the conclusions you have, then what good is a rational, logical response? One hundred percent accuracy? That one phrase alone about anything that happened a few thousand years ago is enough to negate anything else one might say.

  • March 9, 2008, 6:37 a.m. CST

    snomusic

    by Vergil

    If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property. - Exodus 21:20-21

  • March 9, 2008, 6:40 a.m. CST

    Someone living their life by the bible

    by Vergil

    Proabably never read it.

  • March 9, 2008, 6:46 a.m. CST

    lets all get dumber...

    by Samplelord

    And spend money on a movie that rips of Apocalyptico and rewrites history for the retarded...and lets pretend that that promoting this kind of shit is not money oriented....

  • March 9, 2008, 6:58 a.m. CST

    Jurassic Ripoff

    by Cheif Brody

    Just call it what it is. Emmerich just looked at the Jurassic flicks and said..."Well...there's no ostriches...wholly mammoths or sabre-tooth tigers...so that makes this seem original!". <P> By setting it IN 10,000 bc, he further distances his "vision" from the Jurassic series. Quite frankly...I was hoping to see a sabre-tooth tiger in JP: III. The "raptors as bad guys" premise was getting weak. <P> I'll wait for Blu-Ray for this "retarded" version.

  • March 9, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    A MAMMOTH WOOLY TURD!!!

    by football

    Emmerich is the anti-christ. His films have no soul or grasp of what makes a good story. What you get with Emmerich is always a few flashy effects and that's about it!! I can't think of one good Emmerich film where he's broken the mould and made a stand alone masterpiece. He really is the shittiest director out there, even worse than Bay (and that's saying something!) The only bit of news I want to read about Emmerich is his obituary... and what a joyous heavenly moment that'll be. Fuck him and all his films!!

  • March 9, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    Does anyone talk in the film?

    by andyman3000

    I've seen the trailer where nobody talks and all action. Since this is a caveman film, and language was not yet invented, it would seem 'idiotic' if they did and ruin the magic of the era they're trying to recreate. Does Emmerich stick to that world?

  • March 9, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    Another Einstein

    by Vergil

    Telling us that language wasn't invented 10,000 years ago. Even though real anthropologist suggest that 50,000 years ago isn't unrealistic. Weep for us. Weep for us all...

  • March 9, 2008, 10:49 a.m. CST

    Blissfully Retarded

    by Wrath4771

    Saying a movie is "blissfully retarded" smacks of not having the cajones to say "this movie blows goats and I have proof." The trailers don't reveal a single thing about this movie being worth while. If I want to watcha blissfully retarded movie then i'll watch Godzilla or kung fu movies at 2 in the morning instead of this kind of crap.

  • March 9, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Queefer Bukkake and Napolean and Vergil

    by snomusic

    QB - My only response for you is seek some anger management counseling - that's seriously hate filled post ya got there. Napolean - That was an entertaining post. Especially where you state there was no evidence for what I stated in my post, yet you somehow magically have evidence to state they wre "obnoxious, proselytizing tools who constantly insulted other(sic) people's gods. Everybody hated them because they were self-righteous [expletive deleted]". That's rather amazing. It's not my job to convince you - seek Him and He will be found. Fox's Book of Martyrs would be a good read. If you feel more inclined to believe evidence from the twentieth century do a search on testimonies of Christians that survived China's persecution. Vergil - Did you have a point with that verse? In reply to your "anyone who lives their life by the bible probably never read it" is of course impossible. One could not live their life by the bible if they hadn't read it. In all seriousness thogh, if one has read the bible and is not convicted, profoundly changed or even stirred, then God has not made the truth contained within real to them [yet?]. I don't fault those who don't believe yet I find it interesting that because I do, folks like suit and tie and Queefer find it necessary to insult, demean and swear at me. That's cool though, I was told long ago to expect that ;o)

  • March 9, 2008, 12:33 p.m. CST

    snomusic

    by Vergil

    My point with that verse is obvious. If you don't see it then that explains your position. The implication of anyone "living their life by the Bible" is obviously anyone who SAYS they do, or even attempts to. Do you seriously believe in the literal interpretation of a book that advocates genocide, rape, infanticide, slavery, self-contradictory language, obvious scientific fallacies, and no way to justify itself other than to say it is right because it says it is right? Or perhaps you just see it as the original "Chicken Soup for the Soul"?

  • March 9, 2008, 12:39 p.m. CST

    The Bible

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    I'd like to know why you would believe a word of it.

  • March 9, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Pick and Choose

    by Vergil

    "One of illegitimate birth shall not enter the congregation of the Lord." (Deuteronomy 23:2)

  • March 9, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    Heh

    by Vergil

    http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html

  • March 9, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Because I was chosen

    by snomusic

    I believe. As I have stated before, the bible is spiritually understood - God hasn't given you understanding so we really don't have any common ground to actually discuss the Word. BTW, posting one verse does not make it obvious and my not having the ability to read minds does not explain my position. I have not put you in a box, please don't attempt to put me in one either.<p>Try tiny URLing that address - I couldn't get to the page.

  • March 9, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    Nevermind - found it

    by snomusic

    Funny page :-)<p> I forgot to mention that the other reason our discussion would not have any fruit is because we have two definitions of what a completely just and Holy God is.

  • March 9, 2008, 1:27 p.m. CST

    snomusic

    by Vergil

    "Spiritual Understanding" is Jabberwocky. There is understanding, and there is not understanding. My point in posting single verses is in response to you trying to make an arguement by posting single verses. The point is that you can make just about any arguement from the bible by posting single verses. Except the ones I posted are very much in context. And I'm too lazy to tiny URL...just take out the space after "bible-ver"

  • March 9, 2008, 1:42 p.m. CST

    just saw it hmm Kinda of a let down

    by skiff

    I was not a bad movie it just was not very interesting. The cgi stuff was very well done just not very much of it. Mammoth hunt/giant birds/tiger and building a city those were all the big shots.

  • March 9, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST

    wow

    by dudemandude

    I am shedding tears of joy right now, tears of fucking joy. "God" bless you my little atheist brothers/sisters!! I am so happy right now. :] Keep fighting the good fight my fellow followers of logic and reason!! Penn & Teller, The Amazing Randy, George Carlin and myself are cheering you on! <br> <br> I really just wanted to voice my support for logic and reason. if someone wants to believe in God, the bible, quran, whatever i could careless, it's their right to do so. BUT when they start flying planes into buildings, bombing school buses, lighting themselves on fire, and using tanks, fighter jets and attack helicopters on civilians.. well then i have a problem. religion would be fine and dandy if they would chill the fuck out, to be blunt. science is not without it's troubles either, wmds, using humans as guinea pigs, but most of what science has done has been a benefit. show me 1 fucking bible thumper or holy roller of any faith that is even 1/2 the person Norman Borlaug is, I challenge you, it cannot be done. <br> <br> http://en.wiki pedia.org/wiki/Norman_Borlog

  • March 9, 2008, 1:47 p.m. CST

    No Virgil, it is not.

    by snomusic

    Spiritual understanding is a real thing - the fact that you don't believe or understand what I'm talking about does not make it any less real. I would have to say the starting point for such a conversation would be understand what utter holiness means.<p>VERY funny page, BTW. Actually the reason I couldn't get to it was because I removed that space initially, but I found it on the main page.

  • March 9, 2008, 1:54 p.m. CST

    my challenge still awaits

    by dudemandude

    Come on Holy Rollers, show me one of your faith, a Pope, Prophet or Pupil that can match the acheivements of Dr. Norman Borlaug, look at his honors. The man saved the lives of over 2,000,000,000 people!!!!!! fuck your religious bullshit, because that's all it is BULLSHIT!! not one of you preachers has EVER DONE SHIT. I'll take Dr. Borlaug over Jesus any fucking day.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    dudemandude - it's agreed then!

    by snomusic

    You worship the man and I'll worship his creator. It's a deal.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    Utter Holiness

    by Vergil

    Is also Jabberwocky.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    because I know

    by dudemandude

    that Christians are lazy here we go, an abridge version of some of Dr. Borlaugs achievements, besides saving the lives of BILLIONS of people. <br> <br> In 1970, he was given an honorary doctorate by the Agricultural University of Norway.<br> <br> In 1984, his name was placed in the National Agricultural Hall of Fame at the national center in Bonner Springs, Kansas. Also that year, he was recognized for sustained service to humanity through outstanding contributions in plant breeding from the Governors Conference on Agriculture Innovations in Little Rock, Arkansas. Also in 1984, he received the Henry G. Bennet Distinguished Service Award at commencement ceremonies at Oklahoma State University. He recently received the Charles A. Black Award for his contributions to public policy and the public understanding of science.<br> <br> In addition to the Nobel Prize, Borlaug has also received the 1977 U.S. Presidential Medal of Freedom, the 2002 Public Welfare Medal from the U.S. National Academy of Sciences, the 2002 Rotary International Award for World Understanding and Peace, and the 2004 National Medal of Science. As of January 2004, Borlaug had received 49 honorary degrees from as many universities, in 18 countries, the most recent from Dartmouth College on June 12, 2005, and was a foreign or honorary member of 22 international Academies of Sciences. In Iowa and Minnesota, "World Food Day", October 16, is referred to as "Norman Borlaug World Food Prize Day". Throughout the United States, it is referred to as "World Food Prize Day".<br> <br> The Government of India conferred the Padma Vibhushan, its second highest civilian award on him in 2006. Dr. Borlaug also received the National Medal of Science the United States' highest scientific honor, from U.S. President George W. Bush on February 13, 2006. He was awarded the Danforth Award for Plant Science by the Donald Danforth Plant Science Center, St Louis, Missouri in recognition of his life-long commitment to increasing global agricultural production through plant science. <br> Several research institutions and buildings have been named in his honor, including: the Norman E. Borlaug Center for Farmer Training and Education, Santa Cruz de la Sierra, Bolivia, in 1983; Borlaug Hall, on the St. Paul Campus of the University of Minnesota in 1985; Borlaug Building at the International Maize and Wheat Improvement Center (CIMMYT) headquarters in 1986; the Norman Borlaug Institute for Plant Science Research at De Montfort University, Leicester, United Kingdom in 1997; and the Norman E. Borlaug Center for Southern Crop Improvement, at Texas A&M University in 1999. In 2006, the Texas A&M University System created the Norman Borlaug Institute for International Agriculture to be a premier institution for agricultural development and to continue the legacy of Dr. Borlaug. <br> The stained-glass "World Peace Window" at St. Mark's Cathedral in Minneapolis, Minnesota, depicts "peace makers" of the 20th century, including Norman Borlaug.[34] Borlaug was also prominently mentioned in an episode ("In this White House") of the The West Wing television show. The president of a fictional African country describes the kind of "miracle" needed to save his country from the ravages of AIDS by referencing an American scientist who was able to save the world from hunger through the development of a new type of wheat. The U.S. president replies by providing Borlaug's name. <br> On September 27, 2006, the United States Senate by unanimous consent passed the Congressional Tribute to Dr. Norman E. Borlaug Act of 2006. The act authorizes that Borlaug be awarded America's highest civilian award, the Congressional Gold Medal. On December 6, 2006, the House of Representatives passed the measure by voice vote. President George Bush signed the bill into law on December 14, 2006, and it became Public Law Number 109–395. According to the act, "Dr. Borlaug Has SAVED MORE LIVES THAN ANY OTHER PERSON THAT HAS EVER LIVED, and likely has saved more lives in the Islamic world than any other human being in history." The act authorizes the Secretary of the Treasury to strike and sell duplicates of the medal in bronze. He was presented with the medal on July 17, 2007

  • March 9, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    Snomusic

    by dudemandude

    Ok I get it. Now I know either you're totally full of shit and pulling our collective legs or you are completely insane. You cannot answer a simple fucking question. SHOW ME 1 PERSON IN THE BIBLE, 1, WHO HAS DONE WHAT DR. BORLAUG HAS DONE. You cannot. Because the Bible is bullshit and Dr. Borlaug is not. Fuck you, have a nice day scumbag hypocrite.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    snomusic

    by Vergil

    My guess is that "utter holliness" means the willingness to believe something in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:14 p.m. CST

    ROFL

    by snomusic

    Vergil, anything you refuse to accespt is jabberwocky? Enjoy the kool-aid.<p>dudemandude, it states he "has saved more lives in the Islamic world than any other human being in history". Then if you believe the official story of 9/11, it's his fault! Just kidding. Acheivements of any man, while impressive, are nothing when compared to his Creator without Whom, none of his acheivements would have been possible. I look at that man's biography and remark, "Wow, God certainly used that man!" He may have an impressive resume, but without faith Christ, he's still destined to spend an eternity in Hell with Mother Teresa.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    snomusic

    by Vergil

    Any word that people use because it sounds like it means something when in fact there is no commonly accepted definition is Jabberwockey. I'd love to have the debate with you, but in the end it will all come down to "Jesus told me and not you."

  • March 9, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    It's useless to argue with true believers of any stripe

    by trollkiller91

    The fall back position is pompous declarations of you not understanding because you have not been choosen to understand. Look at Snomusic posts, he cites the bible and books by other nutjobs that believe the same nonsense he does. Then when he's called on his BS by other posters he tells them that they could not possibly understand because those posters aren't "chosen" or some such drivel. There is no difference among true believers. Be it a prosthletizing charismatic christian like snomusic or the well scrubed, blue blazer wearing, scientologist wierdos in Hollywood. Not a one. Although I know snomusic will say that he has the calling and is awash in the blood of the lamb and he KNOWS, but he only believes and then cite some bible verses like that means anything. The bible it was book written and assembled by men, just like the torah, the bagvagita, the quran or any other religious tract. PS. How do you put in paragraphs?

  • March 9, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    trollkiller

    by dudemandude

    You are 100% correct. They refuse to use logic and reason. to put in paragraphs use < BR > but leave out the spaces between. HTML. <BR> <BR>

  • March 9, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    Logic and Reason

    by Vergil

    Are the bricks in the path to Hell!

  • March 9, 2008, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Snomusic

    by dudemandude

    "Acheivements of any man, while impressive, are nothing when compared to his Creator without Whom, none of his acheivements would have been possible. I look at that man's biography and remark, "Wow, God certainly used that man!" <BR> Dude you cannot be for real. You are totally discrediting human beings as a species. You are saying that without some MYTHICAL NON PROVEN CREATOR we are worthless, that we can achieve nothing. Such utter POPPYCOCK!! You clearly are deranged as Trollkiller, myself and others have so aptly pointed out in previous posts. There is no common ground with you, there is no REASON. THIS is why religion ferments violence. No where on Earth where religion has brought its "peace" is there said "peace." Religion brings war, famine, superstition, civil division, hatred, intolerance and cruelty wherever it rears it's ugly head. Where as, Dr. Borlaug brings food, hope, freedom, love and PEACE.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    It was good

    by Dazzler69

    Not sure what kind of story you guys are expecting here but I liked it. Special effects were good, saber-tooth should have been the guys pet after he saves him. I thought the leader "Tic tic?" was pretty cool. I like a good journey movie going from one place to another to fight. Unlike the 300 guy this guys spear hit the mark. It was a good visual movie instead of talking heads boring movies.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    Jeff Albertson

    by dudemandude

    "Enjoy the Kool-Aide." <BR> You mean like Jim Jones, right? <BR> Now you should google "irony" and try to figure out what that means. <BR> I believe snowjob, the phrase is, YOU JUST GOT SERVED! ;) <BR> Spot on Jeff! I will continue to frequent your fine groceries.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    trollkiller91

    by snomusic

    Pompous? I'm sorry you take it that way, but it's a fact. The Bible is a spiritually discerened book and the spiritually dead cannot understand it. As for your accusation that I am prosteletizing, I have not been attempting to convert anyone, merely debating. <p>As for paragraphs, put in the following without spaces.<p> < P >

  • March 9, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    But isn't the Bible

    by Vergil

    Made for the Spiritually Dead? Of what use it is for those already in possession of "Spiritual Understanding"?

  • March 9, 2008, 2:43 p.m. CST

    snomusic thanks for proving my point

    by trollkiller91

    how in the wide wide world of sports could you type your post to me without realizing you just made my point, again.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:44 p.m. CST

    BTW snomusic

    by Vergil

    Baal is gonna be pissed when he finds out your are worshipping the competition!

  • March 9, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    *yawn*

    by snomusic

    I was not referring to Jim Jones, I just couldn't remember which pill from the Matrix wasn't the trace program so I couldn't use that reference. Anyway, though I have looked at what has been posted and been mature in my posts, my suggestions are ignored, I still get insulted, and have hate spewed at me and quite frankly it's lost it's novelty today. Consider this post shaking the dust off my feet and ceasing to Cast pearls before swine.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:48 p.m. CST

    What? A bad Roland Emmerich film?

    by wellgoodgravy

    This film is bad? I filmly believe it. Every film this film guy makes is nothing but filmsy work. Film the love of pete, someone stop this film guy from filming more films. Thanks for the heads up on this film Harry. But the name Emmerich attached to this film was all the heads up I needed to avoid this film.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    yeah Snow?

    by dudemandude

    Thanks for the HTML correction btw! You got that much correct. No one is hating you, at least I'm not. I believe in freedom, you can believe what you want. But anyway, consider this post to you, me placing my hands in a basin of water and drying them off with a towel.

  • March 9, 2008, 2:54 p.m. CST

    snomusic plays to the woe is me card

    by trollkiller91

    typical of the weak minded sheep once they realized others don't conviently fall in line with their personal delusions. People like snomusic are like reformed smokers or rummies. They claim to know the answers but have not a clue about the questions.

  • March 9, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    Roland Emmerich makes 12 year old boy movies

    by Spandau Belly

    Movies that are great when you're twelve years old and go out with your pals and have a good time then go home and play some video games an forget about them. But none of them hold up, I know Emmerich made Stargate and Independance Day when I was a young teenager and I had a blast at both at the time, but never revisted them ,and when I did catch moments of them again recently they looked really bad to me.

  • March 9, 2008, 3:04 p.m. CST

    It made 61 million

    by skywalkerfamily

    Aint it Cool to fold.

  • March 9, 2008, 3:05 p.m. CST

    Consider this post

    by Vergil

    me sticking my thumbs in my ears, wiggling my fingers, sticking out my tongue, and saying "pthththththt!!!"

  • March 9, 2008, 4:11 p.m. CST

    gary glitter makes 12 year old boy movies

    by ironic_name

  • March 9, 2008, 4:29 p.m. CST

    God VS You See

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    You See wins ... because You See IS God!

  • March 9, 2008, 5:18 p.m. CST

    NEW SPEED RACER TRAILERS!!!

    by rhcp2sweet

    http://www.themoviebox.net/movies/2008/STUVWXYZ/Speed-Racer/trailer.ph p

  • March 9, 2008, 6:41 p.m. CST

    The caption i'd like to see in the newspaper is...

    by BatRastard

    Harry from aintitcoolnews.com says "I went to Thesaurus.Com – Retarded and learned that I could use the following phrases: backward, birdbrained, defective, dim, dim-witted, dopey, dull, dumbbell, dumbo, dumdum, dummy, exceptional, feeble-minded, gorked (I like that one), half-witted, held back, imbecile, lamebrained, mentally defective, moronic, numbskull, opaque, pinhead, retardo, sappy, simple, simple-minded, slow, slow-witted, stupid, subnormal, touched, underachieving, weak or yo-yo. Frankly – none of those really feel right. You see… 10,000 B.C. is blissfully retarded. " it might be assisned as special education for those specially educated.

  • March 9, 2008, 7:21 p.m. CST

    MAMMOTH ELEPHANT TAKES B.O.

    by skywalkerfamily

    Steps on Martin Lawrence.

  • March 9, 2008, 7:53 p.m. CST

    athiests and thiests should stop arguing

    by systemsbroom

    And I suspect that they would, if they would realize that they are really only debating where the burden of proof lies. Because you can't prove or disprove the existence of a spiritual aspect of reality, because it is by definition undetectable by physical means. Which would be fine, except this debate (and the concomitant debate as to which type of theism is correct) is a ruinous one that soaks up a lot human GDP. <P> Which is why the best solution is to ignore the question and instead construct a society which has agnostic social and political spheres. Said society will never resolve the above debate, but it will (and has) done all sorts of wonderful things, like land people on the moon and figure out what DNA is and develop working anthropological, biological, geological, and cosmological histories that are very probably largely accurate. <P> So, snowman and vergil, cut it out and let's focus instead on a question that can be resolved: Should Harry buy and read an English language style manual? (hint: he should).

  • March 9, 2008, 9:37 p.m. CST

    We did cut it out

    by Vergil

    ...and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?

  • March 9, 2008, 10:40 p.m. CST

    Yeah systemsbroom

    by snomusic

    what do you do for an encore? Pour sugar in our gas tanks while anally raping our mothers?*<p><p>*[apologies to Kevin Smith, but that line is too good not to use]

  • March 9, 2008, 11:45 p.m. CST

    This movie made 61 million over the weekend?

    by Mr Incredible

    It will drop like a rock after all the bored people who spent money on this get the word out.

  • March 10, 2008, 12:18 a.m. CST

    10,000 bc

    by ekr1701

    Roland hasnt made a Decent Film since he and his boyfriend and writing partner Devlin Broke Up!!!!!!!

  • March 10, 2008, 2:37 a.m. CST

    THIS MOVIE MADE 61 BC million!

    by skywalkerfamily

  • March 10, 2008, 3:20 a.m. CST

    61 million suckers....i want my money back!

    by emphasize_the_tard

  • March 10, 2008, 3:52 a.m. CST

    I have some relatives who lived through this

    by PaceSet

    They said the film is accurate. Back off Emmerich everyone, he did his homework.

  • March 10, 2008, 5:05 a.m. CST

    Harry, the forthcoming 'Speed Racer'...

    by Billy The Fish

    ...could, with the benefit of much charity, be classed as 'blissfully retarded'. This, however, is just plain awful. There was more plausibility in 'Ice Age 2'...

  • March 10, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Waiting for the full trilogy:

    by CrichtonAstronut

  • March 10, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Waiting for the full trilogy:

    by CrichtonAstronut

    10,000B.C.: the Quest for Pussy-- 10,001 B.C. Raiders of the Lost Pussy(or A Pussy Odyssey)--10,010: The Year We Tap Pussy. I'm only shocked to learn it's not historically accurate.

  • March 10, 2008, 9:21 a.m. CST

    Seriouslty though the real problem I have

    by CrichtonAstronut

    with Emmerish isn't that he makes cheesey popcorn eye candy. It's that nhe takes his cheesey popcorn eye candy too seriously. Like the Day After. If your gonna make a cheesey disaster own up to making cheesey dkisater movie. Don't slap the Global Warming label on it and pretend it's an important issue movie. That kind of thing just makes it harder to take Global Warming seriously. also in onee othe Stargate editions I heard Emmerish and co. spent the whole coommentary bitching about how the SG-1 series ruined their great franchise plans. Now I like the original Stargate movie, but get real. It was a fun popcorn movie it was not Lord of the Rings or anything fucking sarcred. Get a reality check, basic out adequastely handled. Also, the series came out years after the movie. If Emmerish couldn't get his sequal green lighted before the series came out it must have sucked beryond beliefe. Big effects action movie aren't that hard to sell in Hollywood. Case in point 10,000B.C. or the 90s pretty much the whole decade. the thing thing i like about Emmerish, sincerely. He only fucks up his own mythologies. He doesn't go around and fuck up other people's cool shit like Michael Bay did with Transformers.

  • March 10, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST

    10,000 BC - plus, M. Night's Next/Trailer !

    by aerodude73

    hello, saw this movie yesterday, and it wasn't great, it wasn't horrible--it was just, okay. yea, the trailer leads you to believe there will be more of the Sabre-toothed tiger, but both clips in the trailer are right after the other in the movie, then no more tiger. I agree, they should have used the tiger more, or at least in another scene or two at the least. "From the creators of Independence Day & The Day After Tomorrow", yea yea yea. Nice how they mention one great popcorn flick from what, 12 yrs ago(?), and a decent disaster one of more recent years---and NOT the glob of spit that was Godzilla, which would have been more telling to what we might be walking into. anyway, the Best part of going? Seeing the New Trailer for M Night Shamamalalaamamama's latest movie, of course with Mark Wahlberg--"The Happening", opening June 13. Looks Really really good. Spooky like his "SIGNS" was. Seems all the worlds' BEES (yes, buzz buzz bees) are disappearing, then thousands of people are dieing, but you don't quite see why (the bees? who knows), or how. --- Tagline: We've Sensed It. We've Seen The Signs. Now... It's Happening. Plot Outline: A paranoid thriller about a family on the run from a natural crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity.

  • March 10, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    Actually....

    by RichieRich

    ...that review was right on the money. The first 30 minutes were horrible and when my brian finally turned to mush, I actually enjoyed the rest and had a good time. Sure the audience laughed at the wannabe godfather-sounding albino when it was probably a serious moment, but fuck it, I enjoyed it.

  • March 10, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    The religious debate

    by MovieWhore

    By todays standards many things in the Bible would be considered ridiculous (like many of the verses that have been listed above) .. and yet it is in the Bible so zealots will eat it up … yet another reason I believe the Bible is just a book … a good book mind you … with a great message .. but just a book … live your life because you think it’s the right thing to do .. not because some book told you to do it … live it because its right not because you will be go to Hell if you don’t … that is why I am not religious because I believe you can be a good person – check that – a better person without it …

  • March 10, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    A Ka-Zar movie would be pretty cool actually.

    by Reel American Hero

    At least then they'd be able to get away with crazyness such as people riding pterodactyls, and a lot more crazyness without having to even have people try to think of it as logical. It'd be pure entertainment if done right. It'd have something for everyone really, crazy dinosaur type action and a pet sabretooth tiger for the kids, a half naked dude running around for the ladies and fellas that are into dudes, and a scantily clad Shanna the She Devil for the guys and ladies that are into ladies. Everybody wins. Money is made, and the world goes around.

  • March 10, 2008, 3:36 p.m. CST

    didn't see it

    by penguinblooz2

    not gonna see it. made fun of my friends who did see it. they were bored. out their money. i went to a bar drinking with friends which is much more fun than going to most event movies nowadays ...

  • March 10, 2008, 6:13 p.m. CST

    Harry...

    by ziggy5yrs

    While I appreciate your general (and incredibly genuine) enthusiasm for sitting in a darkened theatre and being entertained, can you please try hating something? Just this once?

  • March 10, 2008, 6:51 p.m. CST

    CrichtonAstronut: You have your dates backwards...

    by gerrylum

    10,000B.C.: the Quest for Pussy-- 9,999 B.C. Raiders of the Lost Pussy(or A Pussy Odyssey)--9,989 B.C.: The Year We Tap Pussy.<br> Remember, it's B.C., not A.D., unless you're talking about PREQUELS.

  • March 11, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Good point always forget that

    by CrichtonAstronut

    Course the last two wouldn't make much sense unless we went 9010 and 9001.

  • March 11, 2008, 4:28 p.m. CST

    And that's a long time to wait especially for

    by CrichtonAstronut

    a guy. We'd George and Jerry asking if he was Master of his domain.

  • March 11, 2008, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Shanna the She Devil would be awesome

    by CrichtonAstronut

    in a movie, and Ka-Zar to of course. And we otta have the Sabertooth tiger.

  • March 11, 2008, 10:54 p.m. CST

    Roland Emmerich's gay

    by Buck Turgidson

    No, really, he is gay (not that it matters): http://wcbstv.com/slideshows/gay.celebrities.gay.20.228680.html?rid=25

  • March 12, 2008, 3:04 a.m. CST

    CRAPOCALYPTO

    by kuryakin

    That is all I have to say on the matter

  • March 12, 2008, 3:51 p.m. CST

    Blissfully retarded?

    by Bobby Bowfinger

    No, it's just retarded. The only thing that might have made this crapfest watchable is if Camilla Bello wore a costume similar to Rae Dawn Chong's in "Quest for Fire" (ie: nothing but body paint).

  • March 14, 2008, 12:24 a.m. CST

    hmm

    by slkboxrman

    i always get confused with these off topic tangent conversations.....and im shocked theres a bible thumper in here... religion in any society and its individual interpretations are just a form of control...be good and u will be rewarded, be bad and u will be punished..i think like whoever said it earlier, the bible is just a book, just like the koran is just a book...and george carlin was right when he said religion is the biggest bullshit story ever told...and about 9/11 yes get over it........as for the movie, looks decent ....dont know if id spend money to see it in the theatre , might catch it online tho

  • March 14, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Remember Godzilla?

    by Kevin the Nerd

    I am enough of an old timer here to remember your rave review for Roland Emmerich's Godzilla. What is your deal with this guys movies?

  • March 15, 2008, midnight CST

    THEY LEFT OUT THE ARK OF THE COVENANT

    by AMAZING_BIZARRO

    This movie had everything but the ark of the covenant!!! Man, and everyone's teeth were soooo white. Skip this piece of crap and read CONQUEST OF NEW SPAIN by Bernal Diaz and you'll get a REAL adventure. Roland should just have made a movie about the conquest over the Aztecs since this is where he stole most of the plot. I hear his next film is 2012, the end of the Mayan calendar....yawn.

  • March 15, 2008, 12:08 a.m. CST

    HARRY WAS BOUGHT OFF BY THE STUDIOS A LOOOOONG TIME AGO!!!!

    by AMAZING_BIZARRO

  • March 17, 2008, 4:24 a.m. CST

    It could have been a masterpiece...

    by TheManBehindTheMask

    Or maybe at least a good film if it was released in 1980 (with 80 special effects of course), but seriously...this film is just another prophecy shit film (enough prophecy shit in movie please!!!) that every twist of storie have been seen in other movies for ages! (some even in Emmerich ones!): Conan, Stargate, JP2: the lost world, Apocalypto, 300 etc.. takes all these movies and turn them into family sunday afternoon garbage... Emmerich said he wanted to do this film for 15 years...well even in 1993 it would have been difficult not to laugh at 10 000 BC.

  • April 4, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    dumbfcukereeoneone

    by I know your sister

    Harry! You fat fuck! Find me at the crossroads of sell out and free tickets aren't worth it lane and I'll sell you back your soul. The briefcase is getting a little too full of souls to continue holding your fat one anyway. JUST SAY IT SUCKS COCK you can't have it both way. You peecee queer. "Well, It wasn't a masterpiece, but I was able to embrace it for what it was." You pretty much just said - sure he hacked up a bunch of people and raped a bunch of pumpkins but its not his fault, he was beaten as a child. FUCK THAT. I hate you.

  • April 6, 2008, 8:36 p.m. CST

    Mammoth Ivory

    by Hat Man

    I would agree with Harry on his review. This film is fun and/but dumb. I enjoyed it depite myself being a tedious intellectual. Just as Independence Day was like a big old labrador dog. Dumber than a box of hammers but lovable. Personally, I feel that more films could do with a token mammoth in them. After this film, there is clearly a lot of them looking for work. Merchant Ivory should change their name to Mammoth Ivory and put a mammoth (or even a mastodon) into their Jane Austen films. Imagine a wooly mammoth charging through one of the more emotional scenes of Atonement! I'd wake up for that.

  • May 23, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Fucking retarded...

    by SenatorNado

    ... so retarded, in fact, it may bring about our doom. Thank you, Roland. For reference: http://www.theendisnear.co.uk