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Tribe Swap!! Herc’s Seen Tonight’s Brutal SURVIVOR!!

I am – Hercules!!
Yao-Man Chan got voted out during the third episode two weeks ago, which bums me out, man. I hope CBS lets viewers vote him a million in the season finale, as they did with “All-Stars” two-time loser Rupert Boneham. But we still have Ozzy Lusth to root for. And Eliza Orlins, Parvati Shallow and Amanda Kimmel to look at (the network, happily, has elected to not blur out Kimmel’s astonishing buttcheeks this season). About seven minutes in, Jeff Probst announces the two 8-member tribes will swap four members each via a schoolyard pick. Bodybuilder/gravedigger James is first choice. The fan picking Parvati calls her “Poverty,” to the amusement of all. The good news for Cirie? The two power couples – James/Parvati and Ozzy/Amanda – are split between the two tribes. CBS sent along this particular episode, I gather, to publicize the particularly punishing reward competition, an obstacle-riddled game of tag in which teammates are tethered to each other. The winners’ reward is a barbeque feast, and the contestants are plenty hungry. Some players wind up getting dragged around like inattentive dachshunds by beefier partners and it’s difficult not to laugh at the helplessness of those on the wrong end of the leash. Once the tribes return to their respective camps, however, it’s obvious that some of the players have sustained some fairly grotesque injuries, and production medics have to be brought in to offer up some Micronesian medical treatment. We get to see lots of gory field surgery. What we’re denied is footage of one of female cast members catching a 4-foot shark with her bare hands. It happens, but offscreen. We only get to see the mammoth fish prepared for dinner. Curiously, the letter accompanying the screener we received says the episode was sent along with ending intact. (In the old days, the screeners would end right after Probst announces, “It’s time to read the votes.”) But this screener actually ends earlier than ever, before the losing tribe can start its long trek to tribal council! Crazy! The Eye Net’s publicity department has taken to teasing critics? What I do know is the tribes, now evenly deadlocked with four faves and four fans on each, have to engineer fresh alliances forged with new criteria – with the losing tribe divided along weak versus strong. 8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.

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Readers Talkback
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  • March 6, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    I'm a survivor...

    by LordPorkington

    That was one brutal trip to the toilet folks.

  • March 6, 2008, 7:03 a.m. CST

    I would pick Parvarti, Amanda and Eliza

    by Itchy

    for my team. And I would pay Probst whatever it takes to make the next challenge a "film a violent gangbang" challenge.

  • March 6, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Mary was so hot!!!

    by richier123

    I wish they didn't vote Mary off, she was smokin' hot.

  • March 6, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    From the preview it looks like

    by jim

    Joel will be dragging Chet around. Good times.

  • March 6, 2008, 2:48 p.m. CST

    I'd do Parvarti!

    by skywalkerfamily

    She's dumb as a post, but who cares!

  • March 6, 2008, 8 p.m. CST

    Gawd dammit.

    by Shermdawg

    With Lost, Shitville, A.I. AND Survivor all on at the same time, I've neglected this, and THE ONE newbie I wanted to see, gets voted out tonight. <br><br> Oh well. <br><br> God that dude looked Wolverine jumped out of the damn comics didn't he?

  • March 6, 2008, 8:41 p.m. CST

    Irony lost on Joel

    by DougMcKenzie

    Just about every reason why he had people vote of Mikey B. were the reasons he got turfed tonight. Don't play the game that hard, that early... you paint a giant bullseye on your back Can't follow his own advice.

  • March 7, 2008, 12:37 a.m. CST

    I would do.....

    by ConanBaltar

    ....Ozzy, Parvati, Jason, Amanda, and Erik. In that order.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:23 a.m. CST

    Lol at Joel

    by skywalkerfamily

    He got wasted man. But, I bet Cerie and the others team up and vote out Ozzy. But he uses his immunity.

  • March 7, 2008, 3:26 a.m. CST

    Joel losing strategy

    by Razorback

    The problem he had was that he played too strong of a hand too early. In the early parts of the game, you want to set a strong alliance. It is not until the second merger that you need to worry about voting off the threats. You want to WIN challenges early and then outplay the thinkers late.

  • March 7, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Joel was a fucking moron

    by INWOsuxRED

    I really want the guy who is going to ram me into fences on my team. Chet sucks, but you could at least pretend you care about other humans during council meetings.

  • March 7, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Chet is a bad player, but he doesn't act

    by skywalkerfamily

    like a moron all the time. I hate people that act like they're king of Survivor when it's just the first few episodes.

  • March 7, 2008, 9:29 p.m. CST

    Joel Voted Off By Cirie's ... The Biggest Threat Strategy

    by Red Dawn Don

    Wow, that black girl Cirie is turning into some player. I think her shy girl persona is changing. Ozzy picked Joel for his team first and then Cirie gets Ozzy to vote Joel out. Cirie has swayed the votes on 2 tribal councils.

  • March 8, 2008, 1:13 a.m. CST

    Ugh!!!...why are these morons listening to Fugly Cirie????

    by Ka Dargo

    Stupid ozzy and amanda....what makes them think that fat bitch isnt gonna get the other weak asses to vote them off next? And that Lesbo Ami has a kick ass body....great top she wears...yummy!!

  • March 8, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    If Ozzy listened to Joel

    by INWOsuxRED

    and they voted Cirie first as a show of loyalty, Joel would have gotten Ozzy out next. Ozzy was correct to get rid of the lunkhead, but his tribe was fucked from the very first pick, so he still isn't safe.

  • March 8, 2008, 10:07 p.m. CST

    Cirie has great tits.

    by skywalkerfamily

    Man, I'd do her. Oh, and Jonathan's injury looked awful.

  • March 9, 2008, 1:52 a.m. CST

    her?

    by INWOsuxRED