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Heaven must be missing a Bruce Campbell! MY NAME IS BRUCE pics!

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Last Wednesday we got a really disturbing rumor sent to us that Bruce Campbell had died of a heart attack. There was nothing else about it on the internet and the original tip-off was one of those “a friend at work told me…” ones, so even though I didn’t believe it, I thought I’d email the man himself. I don’t talk often with him, but we have chatted in the past. He’s had an open dialogue with his fans as far back as I can remember… at any rate, I sent him an email that had the subject line “Are You Dead?” and the body of the email was like “I heard this rumor. I hope you’re well… and not dead,” and I got a response within an hour. He never addressed the dead rumor, but he did include a creepy-bizarre picture of himself as an angel from MY NAME IS BRUCE… which is a great title, but I almost wish they’d change it… or at least title the eventual sequel THERE WILL BE BRUCE. I almost ran this as an obituary for a laugh, just to include the angel pic, but I decided I didn’t want 500 pieces of pissed off hate-mail when I woke up. I would have thought it was funny, but I’m a sick fuck sometimes. Enjoy the pics. Click to make big.

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  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:12 a.m. CST


    by _SnakePlissken_

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:13 a.m. CST


    by The_Maxx

    Yeah baby, first!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:14 a.m. CST

    Ash has wings!

    by Abominable Snowcone

    And a hot chick! Give him some sugar, baby!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:16 a.m. CST

    Abom, are you thinking what I'm thinking

    by Kloipy

    A GOD among men

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    Bruce can't die

    by Kloipy

    you have to be born to die, and Bruce wasn't born, he's always just been

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:24 a.m. CST

    Damn you michael bay.

    by DamnMichaelBay

    Save Dollhouse DOT com!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    Bruce Campbell won't die...

    by Otter

    He'll just assume the throne in heaven.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Bruce is...

    by fanboy71

    AWESOME. That is all.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    by Jason B. Swaim


  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:28 a.m. CST

    I'm just trying to figure out

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Why GOD would disguise himself as an angel. I mean, what's the advantage, when you're GOD?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    It must have been a Halloween party Abom

    by Kloipy

    otherwise he wouldn't stoop

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    In that first photo

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'll bet his boomstick is at full sail

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST

    Have you seen the trailer for this movie yet Abom?

    by Kloipy

    It looks awesome. Just lots of good ol sarcastic Brucisms. I got fooled because I went to go see Bruce Almighty thinking it was a documentary about the god of Bruce

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Aint It A Tad Hypocritcal

    by greyspecter

    If it was, oh, say, Ben Affleck who appeared as an effeminate looking angel, the bashing would be enormous. Why does Bruce Campbell get a pass?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    Go Campbell!

    by EvilGeek1

    I don't give a shit what he's in! Bruce Campbell kicks the crap out of cult acting, the world over!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    one of the trinity is now getting the correct adoration

    by Lost Jarv

    now if we can have "There will be Burt" and "No Country for 2true" it will be awesome

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    well, greyspecter...

    by omarthesnake

    it's because he's The Bruce. That simple.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    he's actually out of costume in the 2nd pic

    by just pillow talk

    2for2true belongs in a documentary, like those Bigfoot shows.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    three words greyspecter: Evil Dead Series

    by just pillow talk

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST


    by Abominable Snowcone

    Because Affleck IS effiminate and Bruce is, well, the complete opposite in every way. Plus he has a boomstick, chainsaw, and gauntlet for a hand. Saying we're giving Bruce a pass is like saying Christians go to church to give Jesus Christ a "pass."

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:04 a.m. CST

    I heard that at this movie

    by Abominable Snowcone

    they will distribute free copies of the Warciple Necronomicon by Jarv and will baptize people into the Church of Chang with flaming leg kicks.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    we should all go to the premiere and hand out

    by Kloipy

    the scriptures

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    I wish I could go to the premiere of this

    by Lost Jarv

    I hope there is a Europe one in london. I'd queue for hours and hand out many copies of the holy tome to the unbelieving masses,

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    we could carry bruce like the persians in 300

    by Kloipy

    he deserves only as much

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    So there's nothing he could do to change your minds

    by greyspecter

    ...huh? Then the metaphor to God or Obama is apt. It *is* a religion.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Bruce could rip out an orphan's throat and

    by Kloipy

    have a blood orgy with his parents and I'd still love him

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    Bruce could club a baby seal

    by Abominable Snowcone

    using a panda, and then torch a nursing home and murder a convent of nuns, and I'd still adore him

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:31 a.m. CST

    yes, blind faith always works out in the end greyspecter

    by just pillow talk

    And you know Bruce levitates Kloipy when he's among us humans.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    Bruce could cut off my dick with rusty safty scissors

    by Kloipy

    force me to eat it, digest it, shit it out, and then re-eat it and he would still rule

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    I'm flying!

    by Kloipy

    or should I say levitating!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    of course it's a religion

    by Lost Jarv

    have you not been following? <P>Bruce is one of the Holy Trinity in the Church of Chang.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Bruce could stomp on

    by Abominable Snowcone

    a flock of endangered baby toucans, then drive a school bus of 'special children' off a cliff, travel back in time and have forbidden sex with Mother Theresa, saw off the heads of some homeless people, steal some candy from toddlers at the zoo, go to Disney World and nuke it, and I'd cheer him all the way

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST


    by Kloipy

    Abom watched our boy Tony Jaa in the Protector last night. His tendors are mighty sore

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    Blind faith...

    by Abominable Snowcone

    It's good enough for all the other religions. At least with the Church of Chang you know what you're signing on for. Just look at the cleft in that chin and those winsome dimples. But don't be fooled, he conquered an army of zombies and a legion of stop motion skeletons

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST


    by Abominable Snowcone

    Yeah, and it's a damn good thing Tony got back his baby elephant, or by now Syndey Australia would be full of paraplegics

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    excellent Abom!

    by just pillow talk

    The focus that Tony exhibited in breaking 87 legs and 65 arms was classic. See what drive and determination can get you?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    I feel for those that have not discovered enlightenment

    by Lost Jarv

    for when the pencipocalypse comes they will be mightily bleeding from many stabbings.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:41 a.m. CST

    So when will this movie come out?

    by Russman

    Me wants to know! Me wants to know!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST

    Again, I cannot stress enough the Battle of the Behemoths

    by just pillow talk

    Fucking up guys who were the size of buildings.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST

    Bruce could put babies in a blender

    by Kloipy

    sell it as an energy drink to celebrities, who in turn would vomit onto a garden which would sprout deadly night shade, which bruce would then cultivate, make a belladonna tea, give it to blind children and put them in a room full of spikes, grind their bones to make his bread which he would then use meat from baby seals and take a dump on the constitution. and he would still RULE

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    the behemoths

    by Kloipy

    those dudes are SO fucking HUGE

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    she-bitches are no match for him

    by just pillow talk

    Who are we to doubt Ash?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    LOL Pencipocalypse

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Who are the behemoths? Are you talking about those huge dudes at the end of Protector? They were freakishly large, like trees. They should not have thrown Tony's baby elephant. You just don't DO THAT!<p> Bruce Campbell could recreate all the atrocities of Cannibal Holocaust using the populace of a maternity ward at a hospital, then kick my mother in the teeth, and I'd send him money and unconditional love.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Hey Quint

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'm glad you didn't run this article as a fake obit for Bruce. I'd have gone Tony Jaa on everyone in my building, then dispatched an army of flying kamikaze possums on all of Cleveland, Ohio, then I'd have blown myself up. So thanks for not doing that.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:56 a.m. CST

    Bruce could star in Brown Bunny 2: Drive longer

    by Lost Jarv

    and I would forgive him

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:59 a.m. CST

    If you'd run it as an Obit

    by Lost Jarv

    then you'd have unleashed the Army of Darkness that has been hiding from Bruce in the ether. <P>You don't want to do that.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    but Bruce is immortal, so we all would know it was a joke

    by just pillow talk

    That's like saying when the universe goes dark, you wouldn't be able to still see Tony Jaa's FLAMING LEG KICK.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:09 a.m. CST

    I didn't see Brown Bunny

    by Abominable Snowcone

    but all the guitar songs on the soundtrack by John Frusciante are amazing. They weren't even used in the film. <p> Yeah, Bruce is immortal. Even when the sun is blotted from the sky, the Chin of Campbell will beam in the heavens like a FLK

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    I could use a horse blanket.

    by Unlabled

    Love that line!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    exactly Pillow

    by Kloipy

    however I probably would cry like Tony Jaa after they threw Kchorn

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    Tony cried so much

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that I was almost embarrassed for him. But then he kicked the shit out of 82 people, and my pity.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    "He's the protector of bean curd!"

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    After reading this affecting peice of journalism, I went and checked out the the trailer for My Name Is Bruce again. Pretty funny stuff. I think I would watch ANY film that contained the above line of dialogue. I don't know what it means, or if I even heard it right, but it makes me chuckle all the same.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:31 a.m. CST

    On my way home from work

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'm going to stop and buy a bell necklace to wrap around my wrist, so that I might jingle like Kchorn when I kick the shit out of people at work. In the future, people will hear that bell and soil their pants in fear of what is to come.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:32 a.m. CST

    maybe that'll explain the burning sensation...

    by just pillow talk

    Who doesn't want their bean curd protected? Really?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:33 a.m. CST

    what's the good word Frankie?

    by just pillow talk

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    greyspecter: "Why does Bruce Campbell get a pass?"

    by mbeemer

    It can't be explained.<p><p> The man just reeks of cool!<p><p> And, if you don't understand this by now, you are not One Of Us.<p><p><p> YOU ARE NOT OF THE BODY<p><p> YOU WILL BE ABSORBED

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:43 a.m. CST

    there's potential converts everywhere

    by Lost Jarv

    this is a great day. <P>I even forgive Bruce for being in Escape From LA- which was a fetid pile of dog turd

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:47 a.m. CST

    mbeemer...your unbridled man love for Ash

    by just pillow talk

    is appreciated. The Church of Chang will ring its bells in your honor noon today.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST

    The good word, JPT...

    by Franklin T Marmoset "He's the protector of bean curd!"<p>Now, I appreciate that is more than one word, but in these special circumstances (ie: me still giggling like a silly little girl over that dialogue) I think we can make an allowance.<p>How goes it with you?<p>P.S. For Jarv - A little harsh on Escape From LA, don't you think? I saw that one again not too long back and thought it was a much underappreciated film. Very funny little satirical remake of the first film, I reckon.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Franklin T Marmoset

    by Kloipy

    i haven't seen you in ages my friend.<br> I didn't like Escape from LA, just for the surfing scene

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    I only saw it once, and the surfing pissed me off no end

    by Lost Jarv

    maybe I'll give it another go. I generally love Carpenter films.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    Carpenter in the 80s

    by Kloipy

    had probably one of the best runs I've ever seen by a director

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST


    by presidentevil

    you ever see the scene in "high fidelity" where john cusak and jack black reference evil dead 2?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10 a.m. CST

    Hey, Kloipy

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I pop into AICN when I can these days, but not as often as I'd like.<p>I always thought the surfing scene in Escape From LA was pretty damn funny. The effects were ropey as hell (although not as bad as in the bit where Snake dives through underwater Universal Studios), but it still made me laugh.<p>P.S. Does anyone know if Carpenter and Russell have done a commentary for that film? I always love their commentaries, but my LA DVD has no extras at all.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:03 a.m. CST

    Bruce was awesome as a crazed plastic surgeon though

    by Lost Jarv

    he nearly redeemed the rest

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    I think it is Peter Fonda that pissed me off so much

    by Lost Jarv

    I don't know why, but he nearly always annoys me.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    I'm a campbell agnostic

    by ArcadianDS

    I like most of his work, but I dont fawn over him like a rock fan at the mere sound of his name. I suspect he appreciates that more than the silly fandom that seems to stock this particular talkback.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:06 a.m. CST

    You're right about Carpenter in the 80s, Kloipy

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    He did lose his way a bit after that, but he made some of my favourite films during that time, many of them starring world's greatest and most underappreciated actor, Kurt Goddamn Russell.<p>Another guy who was great during that same period and all lost it was Walter Hill. What happended to that guy? I was watching Southern Comfort the other week and I had forgotten how good that film is.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    I like him in Burn Notice too

    by ComputerGuy68

    although he looks old and fat on that show...

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:11 a.m. CST

    Prince of Darkness

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Another Carpenter 80s classic. I wanna see that again.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    Walter Hill did The Warriors

    by Abominable Snowcone

    for that he gets a lifetime pass from me. But the new cut of the film sucks--I don't like the cartoon boxes they added in. The movie didn't need it.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:12 a.m. CST

    They Live, BTILC, The motherfuckin Thing

    by Kloipy

    Christine, i mean, holy shit!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:15 a.m. CST

    someone was talking about the thing the other day

    by Kloipy

    and said that they re-watched it and the effects didn't hold up. I just watched it about a month ago and I wholeheartedly disagree. I LOVE the effects work Rob did in that movie. I think it looks about as crazy as you could imagine

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    Yes, Mr. President...

    by greyspecter the scene, love the movie. "The soundtrack kicks fucking ass!" Nowhere in that scene do they reference the mortal deity, however. <p> Don't get me wrong, I adore Army of Darkness. I even saw Bubba Ho-Tep simply for Bruce, and what turned me on to Burn Notice was his inclusion. His cameos in the Spidey films rock, the only redeming factor in Spidey 3. I've attended the Church, guys. Just not a convert.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    The Thing effects are sensational

    by Lost Jarv

    and I actually far prefer them to CGI. <P>but that's just me.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    and that picture still looks creepy

    by greyspecter

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    EFNY, Halloween, Assault on Precinct 13

    by Lost Jarv

    In the Mouth of Madness, The Fog, Dark Star, hell I can even find some love for Vampires and Ghosts of Mars (Which may as well be called "Assault on spacestation 13)

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    Practical effects are 100 times better than CGI

    by Kloipy

    seriously. Look at the effects work on The Thing compared to last years I am Legend. The Thing will stand up, whereas even now I am Legend's CG work looks like shit and their bugets are miles away from each other. With practical its right there and it is real. CGI is most of the time hard to suspend disbelief for

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    How did I not say Halloween, I mean it's one

    by Kloipy

    of the most definitive horror films of ALL time. and I loved In the Mouth of Madness. Just a great creepy HP inspired horror flick. Like the scene when he's having a dream, and wakes up to that dead cop on his couch and then wakes up again. Or the white haired monster on the bike.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    You know for a fact there will be some drooling Fanboy tool

    by Lost Jarv

    like skywalkerfamily come on now and tell you that you're a fucking dinosaur and CGI is far superior.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:24 a.m. CST

    The end of ITMOM

    by Lost Jarv

    bugs me

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST


    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Anyone who says the effects in The Thing don't hold up is an ass. The only part that's a bit shakey is that stop motion part near the end, but the rest still looks amazing. Gods bless Rob Bottin, that is some of the freakiest shit I have ever seen.<p>"You have got to be fucking kidding!"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST

    the 'dog' autopsy scene

    by Kloipy

    is one of the craziest things ever put to film. Or the stomach teeth amputation. Jarv, there were a lot of parts I didn't care for in ITMOM, but I just love the movie regardless

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:28 a.m. CST

    I still love ITMOM,

    by Lost Jarv

    don't get me wrong, I just felt it was unsatisfying- especially after the chase sequence.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    Final note on The Thing

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    Anyone seen the Lego version? It's up on Youtube ( and it's pretty well done. The video quality isn't great, but it's sort of funny (especially when they start blowing each other's heads off) and worth a watch if you've got seven minutes to spare.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    I really hope there is never a sequel to it

    by Lost Jarv

    Because that end is perfect. <P>I hate the idea of a sequel so much.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    The Thing still kicks all sorts of ass

    by just pillow talk

    The effects are still great, but it's so much more than the effects of course. It's the mood, music, and like Frankie said, Kurt goddamn Russell!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:42 a.m. CST

    Frankie, did you see Eastern Promises yet?

    by just pillow talk

    If so, what'd ya think?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    kloipy you probably just overlooked

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Halloween cuz for a moment there they were just discussing Carpenter's 80s shit, and Halloween was, what, '77-78

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Eastern Promises is OK

    by Lost Jarv

    but I hated the fact that he was an undercover cop. Is it the first part of a trilogy?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    She's grabbing the angel's crotch?

    by Ye Not Guilty

    In the second photo.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    Can't say I blame her.

    by Lost Jarv

    We are talking about Man-god Bruce here.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    correction, Bruce's crotch is grabbing her

    by just pillow talk

    in both photos.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Does this movie have a budget of $40?

    by Darth Bauer

    That is one of the lamest angel costumes ever.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST


    by Abominable Snowcone

    if it looks lame, it's only because Bruce WANTS it to look lame. And his budget is infinity. Infinity budget. Because if he calls me and says, "I need money for my movie," I get out the checkbook.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST

    budgets are for primitive screwheads...

    by just pillow talk

    It matters not what the budget is.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    I really liked Eastern Promises

    by Kloipy

    I liked it a lot more than History of violence, which to me was WAY overrated. I didn't mind that he was an undercover cop because it seemed as if he'd gotten too far in and the lines of good/bad had blurred for him

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    I'm still not sure which one I like more Kloipy...

    by just pillow talk

    I really liked the beginning of HOV...the whole setup. Eastern Promises took a different approach, and him being undercover I liked too. Especially, like you mentioned Kloipy, the the lines are definitely blurred over. You don't even know how long he'll survive doing what he's doing.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST


    by Kloipy

    I liked the first hour or so of HOV, but the ending was horrid I thought. But EP just is a story that sucked me in from the start and I want to see more of it. I think Viggo will be vying to become the head of the Mob in the next one(if they make it)

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Ash gave me a handjob once.

    by travis-dane

    a Medieval mechanical Hand can be sensitive too guys!good grip.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST


    by Abominable Snowcone

    did you gum up his finger-joints? He once rammed his stump up my corn-shooter. It was divine

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Oh,now I know where the funny smell came from!

    by travis-dane


  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    bruce is dreamy

    by LordTwinkie

    and i bet he smells beautiful as well.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    He makes me wet

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and I'm 100% hetero male. <p> Sorry about the smell, Trav. I'll be sure to clean up down there before he assaults me again and yells "Who's laughing NOW?"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    bruce shoulda been cast as the comedian

    by bacci40

    in watchmen...its the only casting that zach messed up on....bruce is god

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    by bobdog

    People lika Bruce is the counterbalance to all effete/emo/whathaveyounot wannabies out there. Bruce and the likes of him keep the popculture interesting. Well to me anyway.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 4:09 p.m. CST

    Bruce Campbell sketch

    by I am the most horrible

    From a live radio performance of Live Wire! <p>

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 4:40 p.m. CST

    Bruce as the Comedian... would have been GREAT!

    by irrelevntelefant

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 4:46 p.m. CST

    It is a guy law...

    by irrelevntelefant

    having a man-crush on Bruce is not gay. in fact it confirms you are a real man

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 5 p.m. CST


    by skywalkerfamily

    He does shitty movies aside from Spider Man. I DON'T GET IT!!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    No no. Bruce Campbell's career is dead.

    by skywalkerfamily

    Not him.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 6:31 p.m. CST

    Hey USA??!!

    by skimn

    When is Burn Notice coming back??

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 6:40 p.m. CST

    Don't forget the blood test scene

    by skimn

    in The Thing, a classic in of itself. And you got to love the cast of great character actors..Brimley, David Clennon, Donald Moffat, Keith David, etc...that supported 'ol Kurt.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:26 p.m. CST

    I love Bruce, but this film looks shitty

    by Mullah Omar

    I'd love to be wrong, but this doesn't look like the sort of material that will make me laugh.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:38 p.m. CST

    Campbell, Carpenter, Hill ...

    by FatherMcGruderKicksAssForTheLord

    Typing that out, I realized that the best theoretical movie ever could be produced by Walter Hill, directed by John Carpenter and star Bruce 'Man-God' Campbell. Plot unnecessary. <p> I attended my first book-signing a few years ago (something I would normally avoid on general pretense, just to feel like less of a fanboy) simply because Mr. Campbell happened to be promoting If Chins Could Kill at one of my favorite comic shops. He gave a great little speaking engagement, before signing a fuckton of books and other assorted materials, and took at least a minute to chat with almost everyone that came up. He came off as a seriously nice guy, and a damned sight humbler than most, if the stories I've heard regarding a plethora of other signings featuring other B-list luminaries are to be believed.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:47 p.m. CST

    Shit, I Forgot To Add ...

    by FatherMcGruderKicksAssForTheLord

    ... that whoever it was that suggested Bruce as The Comedian was spot-on, and I also think that Raimi should have scrapped the Venom, Sandman, & (halfass)GG2 combo of Spiderman 3 and worked in Mysterio - with Bruce Campbell as Quentin Beck.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:23 p.m. CST

    Bruce Allmighty

    by hyperboycomics

    Oh, wait...

  • March 1, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    skywalkerfamily, hes popularr for all the reasons you aren't

    by ironic_name

    good looks, talent, a good attitude..

  • March 1, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    Shit, is this one dead already?

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    That is not what Bruce would want. Bruce would endless days of nonsense chit-chat in his honour!<p>Anyway, if JPT is still listening, I have not gotten round to Eastern Promises yet, but it's on my list so I'll let you know. I'm a long term Cronenberg die-hard, though, so I'm sure I'll like it. I did see another of your recommendations - Black Book. You were right, it was a very good film. I thought the bucket of shit scene was pushing things a little far, but everything else was excellent. Great to see Verhoeven's still got it.

  • March 1, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    Franklin T Marmoset

    by ironic_name

    we will add Bruce to the hall of heroes at /35248

  • March 1, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Yo Frankie

    by just pillow talk

    Glad you liked Black Book, and I hear ya on that bucket 'o shit scene. Fortunately every thing else is great.<p>And skywalkerfamily, you are quite hopeless I think. Seriously. <p>ironic, before there was any hall of heroes, Bruce and his chin were there.<p>FatherMcGrude, that's pretty damn cool to hear that he's as cool as we all think he is.

  • March 1, 2008, 11:06 a.m. CST

    oh, and've got to try and post more

    by just pillow talk

    Your posts are needed sometimes my friend. BTW, what was the last bad movie you saw that was good? I was watching a couple of days ago Night of the Creeps, hadn't seen that in forever. Some great camera work on slugs and dead people's feet.

  • March 2, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    I'll try, JPT

    by Franklin T Marmoset

    I do miss the banter here at the Cool News.<p>On an entirely unrelated note, I was just watching that new Iron Man trailer again. How fucking amazing does that look? Jesus, I hope it isn't a giant let down, because I've gone and gotten my inner nerd all sorts of excited about that one.<p>P.S. I joined that Hollywood Stock Exchange thing yesterday to see what it's all about, and did you know you can't buy shares in Warwick Davis? That is just plain WRONG. I got Kurt and Bruce and Billy Bob and Wesley, but I was looking forward to seeing my Warwick stock rise when Agent 1/2 comes out this year.

  • March 3, 2008, 6:18 a.m. CST

    yeah Frankie...

    by just pillow talk

    Iron Man looks pretty damn good. With that, Indy 4, The Dark Knight, I'm hoping that they all hit it out of the ballpark to some degree. You would think I would have learned from Spidey 3 not to get my hopes up. Nope.<p>That is completely and utterly wrong that Warwick Fucking Davis shares are not available for purchase. Agent 1/2 will put in back on the map!

  • March 3, 2008, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Good morning pillow

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Anyone else around yet? I can't remember which TB we were last converting

  • March 3, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    good morning my friends!

    by Kloipy

    saw some good shit over the weekend. Darjeeling Limited and Margot at the Wedding. And of course, the classic Candyman of which I've seen many times, but my wife having seen it just yesterday and last night needing a light on in the hallway.

  • March 3, 2008, 7:20 a.m. CST

    why can't you put stock in Warwick???

    by Kloipy

    I guess he's just too cool for that

  • March 3, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    Oh yeah

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Forgot to put Candyman on the list. Sorry I cut out abruptly on Friday, kloipy. Something came up at work and they wanted me to like, do stuff. There were pencil casualties.<p> My movie fare this weekend consisted of Phantasm I-IV, Runaway (the '84 Tom Selleck robot thriller by Michael Crichton) and of course Cannibal Holocaust at the nursing home with grandma and her friends.

  • March 3, 2008, 7:29 a.m. CST

    No prob, Abom

    by Kloipy

    trust me I understand. I'm flooded here at work most of the time

  • March 3, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    did you know that after CH

    by Kloipy

    it looked so real that the Italian govt. made Ruggero Deodato and the actors appear to make sure that they didn't kill anyone, and they made them remake the whole spike through the anus out the mouth thing, to show again, that they didn't really kill anyone

  • March 3, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Thoughts on Phantasm

    by Abominable Snowcone

    The Phantasm series is okay, but just okay. They each move kind of slow, and nothing is ever resolved in any of them--they 'cliffhang' into whatever the next movie is. Even the last one, IV, ends with a hero chasing after the bad guy. That hero, balding / ponytail ice cream vendor Reggie Bannister, should probably be added to our manly list. He kills dwarf zombies with a quadribarrel shotgun, which is enough for me to put someone in the club. Angus Scrimm is a good creepy bad guy in the series, the 'Tall Man' who exhumes dead bodies and turns them into dwarf zombie slaves. But he's almost like Pinhead in the latter Hellraisers in that he gets precious little screen time.<p> Runaway holds up pretty well after 24 years. Gene Simmons was a good bad guy. The only weird thing about the story is that it's set in the near-future, which means near-future after 1984. Society uses robots in all parts of life, and sometimes they go wrong. Only prob now, viewing the movie in 2008, is that nothing else in the movie seems as technologically advanced. Apart from the robotic society, all else is as we recall 1984 to be. Right down to the Apple II computers the cops use.

  • March 3, 2008, 7:38 a.m. CST


    by Kloipy

    I really liked the first 2 Phantasm movies a lot. But then again I haven't seen them in years. So i'm not sure how well they would hold up for me. I think you will really dig Candyman. It's Clive Barker, so it's got that strange sexual undertone between monster and maiden. Def. one of the better 90's horror movies. The first time you see it is the best because it's just so fucking crazy.

  • March 3, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST


    by Abominable Snowcone

    Yeah, I read about that on wiki. I like reading up on my movie fare. I run into that problem a lot--my bosses are always asking me to convince them I didn't pencil stab somebody, and they insist I produce a living body. I told them it's not rational to insist that I prove that whoever they name is in fact someone I have not killed. It's nonsense.<p> The most unconscionable thing about CH is that they butcher a turtle, but don't balance out the ecosystem by also clubbing a panda or a baby seal. At least they slice the face off a monkey--that's close. The camera crew kinda deserved what they got, so you don't feel too bad when they get speared and dismembered. It's pretty funny the way the pretty soundtrack music kicks in at the most gruesome parts of the film. I'll remember that technique when we score Tremors 5.<p> Funny thing I read about 'Runaway' on wiki is that it was slated to be the big sci-fi action hit for summer 1984 or whenever it was released. But they didn't count on another sci-fi thriller starring a bunch of relative unknowns and a then-obscure director named James Cameron to drop 'Terminator' on the world, and after a while time forgot 'Runaway.'

  • March 3, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    the soundtrack to Tremors 5

    by Kloipy

    will consist of Tiny Tim songs and banging on trashcans

  • March 3, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    when they want me to produce a live body

    by Kloipy

    I just do the 'ol Weekend at Bernie's 2 magical voodoo corpse thing

  • March 3, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    And a couple of songs

    by Abominable Snowcone

    by Ladyblack Mambazo. That's always good listening when you're bombing graboids with Radio Shack trucks

  • March 3, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    morning fellow Church of Chang members

    by just pillow talk

    I splooged all over the place Saturday afternoon...Conan the Barbarian was on. Time for high adventure indeed!

  • March 3, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    and Rockappella

    by Kloipy

    with a duet with Oats from Hall and... fame

  • March 3, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Hey pillow!

    by Kloipy

    I need to rent Conan again, it's been so long since I've seen that

  • March 3, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    the riddle of steel

    by just pillow talk

    What is the power of steel to the hand that wields it?

  • March 3, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Speaking of riddles

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I watched a few episodes of the original 1966 Batman TV series. I downloaded 'em for my kids. I used to love that show when I was like 4-5. And I must say that Yvonne Craig is WAY hotter than Alicia Silverstone with batears.

  • March 3, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Tony Todd

    by Kloipy

    I think we should add him to the list. After rewatching his amazing performance as the poetic, yet homicidial spirit in Candyman, his eloquence with the verse to his malevolence with the hook, seems that he deserves a spot. Also his voice is like dripping hot pitch into your ears

  • March 3, 2008, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Is he the dude

    by Abominable Snowcone

    with bees in his mouth like, fo' real?

  • March 3, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    yeah, he did that shit

    by Kloipy

    I wouldn't do that shit.

  • March 3, 2008, 8:21 a.m. CST

    Here is Yvonne Craig

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in a still from Man from Uncle. Anyone who thinks Alicia Silverstone--or anyone else--makes a sexier Batgirl is mentally impaired. I just wanted to state my position on that.<p>

  • March 3, 2008, 8:33 a.m. CST

    I'll be back

    by Kloipy

    I'm getting paged to do some work. shit

  • March 3, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    Bring a sharp pencil

    by Abominable Snowcone

    They're trying to make me do stuff here. I don't know who they think they are, but clearly they don't know they're gonna have to reckon with a warciple of Chang.

  • March 3, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    God help the people in kloipys office

    by Abominable Snowcone

    if they throw his baby elephant through a pane of glass

  • March 3, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Tribute to Burt Gummer

    by Abominable Snowcone

    as found on You Tube. Features clips from the movies, with all the best Burt stuff for Church of Changians.<p>

  • March 3, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    fuckin work

    by Kloipy

    Thanks for the link Abom, I'll check that shit out tonight. I probably wont be on until tomorrow. I'm the only one in my dept today and I'm fuckin slammed. So if I don't see ya, have a good one my friend!

  • March 3, 2008, noon CST

    Sometimes my office

    by Abominable Snowcone

    makes me earn it, the bastards.

  • March 3, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Ever wonder how they made

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that pencil you stab people with?<p>

  • March 3, 2008, 12:49 p.m. CST

    I forgot to mention

    by Abominable Snowcone

    the above set about pencil-making features pencil factory videos set to porno music

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