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HULK And WOLVERINE Pics Online At Empire!!

Merrick here...
Empire has a new image from THE INCREDIBLE HULK, showing Norton Hulking out. You can see that shot HERE. They also have what looks to be a promo shot from the new WOLVERINE movie (X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE), which you can see HERE! I'm fascinated to see how both of these films turn out. I have hope for them both, but..having despised X-MEN: THE LAST STAND and finding myself bored by HULK...there's always that nagging sense that one or both won't work out for some reason. Of course, both of these represent significantly different directions (if not a complete reboot) for their franchise...so hope shines brightly that they won't make the same mistakes their predecessors did. For now.

Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    That was cool.

    by Nordling

    I wasn't sure that was William Hurt at first. Neat.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    HUGH JACKMAN IS ROLAND!

    by cutest_of_borg

    Just to get it out there again.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    First!

    by Unlabled

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    first!

    by chewyou812

    yeah!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    LOL

    by Unlabled

    Chewy got pwned but so did I

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    fascinating

    by Shigeru

    <br>

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    ED NORTON SMASH!

    by thebearovingian

    Wolverine pic = nothing new. Meh.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    D'oh!!!

    by chewyou812

    Damn you dial-up speed iPhone internets!!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    I love watching Ed Norton, but

    by Burgundy82

    working with him sounds like a fucking nightmare.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    DAMN!!! COULDA BEEN FIRST!!

    by tHeGRinGoGenTiLE

    But I spaced. Does it really matter though? I'm just glad to be alive! YAY!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    If Hulk failed before, why the fuck are they making another one?

    by Brian_De_Man

    Hulk is the biggest POS action hero.. They should kill his ass and find something better. Fuck.. even Catwoman was better than the Hulk and Catwoman was horrible! Stupid fucking hollywood!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Fucking yawn

    by Burgundy82

    The Wolvie pic might as well have come from any of the three X-flicks, and the Leterrier quotes in the "Hulk" article make him sound like not only an idiot, but a pathetic bitch of a helmer who needs permission from Norton to take a piss.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    HULK constipated!!!

    by CellarDweller

    Give that guy a supository! Looks like he has a mean, green, gamma-turd that's pissing him off. Get it out before he changes! Wolvie looks good. Looks like his claws aren't coming out between his knuckles but from tops of his hands like in the comic. Could be a good sign, no?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Also

    by Burgundy82

    There needs to be a steel cage match between "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" and "Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins" to determine which will carry the mantle of "Worst Title in Fucking History." "Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever" is getting close to retirement, after all.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Hurt is a great actor;but,

    by Toby Wan

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:33 a.m. CST

    Wolverine vs Hulk should be the next film...

    by KillDozer

    Love the opening scene of the comic where Wolvie's crawling up a mountain to retrieve his lower extremities after the Hulk tears him in half.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Hurt's a great actor; but,

    by Toby Wan

    I would have loved to see Sam Elliot back in that role. I like Sam Elliot in any role. I was pissed when he quit doing the" Beef, its whats for dinner" ads. Stupid Matthew McConaGAY.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Hulk was just dull...X-3 looked/felt rushed.

    by Yeti

    Ed looks awfully pink in that pic.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    William Hurt rocks but.....

    by odo19

    fuck his hair looks stupid. Seriously they should have just let him be bald because that shit is pretty hilarious.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    when he hulks up..

    by Dr. Stanley Goodspeed

    he should just turn into tyler durden.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    there is still alot of hulk merch left over..

    by _SnakePlissken_

    from the last movie, they wanna flog it off

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    I Fucking Mentioned These Hours Ago

    by johnnykool

    http://tinyurl.com/2w2bm2 Hire me. I'm doing a better job than most of you on this site.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Mavrel GOTTA EAT!

    by BGDAWES

    Ed Norton looks too Hulky and Jackman too Wolveriney. <br> <br> Harry, where is your damn top 10 list? How could you not do one of those this year? Are you going to defer this year's BNAT too? <br> <br> I suppose it doesn't matter, as I don't live in Austin I wouldn't have any chance of going anyway.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    "There's always that nagging sense that one or both won't work o

    by SpencerTrilby

    for some reason" <p> Now that you mention it, doesn't that apply to all comic book material?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    BTW, Ang Lee's Hulk was teh shit!

    by SpencerTrilby

    But why on Earth Universal wastes so much time doing nothing instead of trying to retcon its (undeserved, IMO) bad rap is beyond me. These pics remind me of Downey playing with his improved Power Glove in Iron Man promo pics a while back: underwhelming.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    Hulk has chosen BluRay and here's why:

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    'cause he's smarter than that one movie nerd guy who's about his size...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    Wolverine..

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Wow...yeah, bitches. Thank God someone remembered why X-Men is cool, and just fucking flushed the rest of those assholes out of the picture. Wolverine needs to cut some shit UP! That's a great looking pic.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, noon CST

    Wolverine got PWNED BY STALLONE!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    pwns teh sukkk!!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, noon CST

    Just got off the phone with The Incredible Hulk

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    He told me that Edward Norton fucking rocks!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    My Spidey senses are tingling...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    not.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    This Year's Little Miss Hulk!!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Aint it cool?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:04 p.m. CST

    thats not the hulk.

    by dr.bulber

    my interest in the hulk movie is draining away because of still no hulk.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:05 p.m. CST

    Note to the writers:

    by PirateEmery

    Don't kill off fan favorites... It's just one of those things you DON'T do. This is why X3 sucked badly...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:06 p.m. CST

    sweet

    by THE KNIGHT

    does every event movie of the summer have their trailers attached to 10,000 BC? It looks so.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:10 p.m. CST

    Thank god we have Teh Interweb now

    by SpencerTrilby

    preventing us from watching a Roland Emmerich "movie" just for the sake of the trailers attached to it.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:10 p.m. CST

    So Hulk is FOUR FUCKING MONTHS AWAY

    by knowthyself

    And we don't have a teaser or a pic yet? wtf?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    TOO MANY FLAMES!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    !!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Avatar will fucking OWN Wolverine in 2009!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Remember: AVATAR-FUCKING YOUR EYEBALLS IN 2009!!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:17 p.m. CST

    I am the Hulk's sense of SMASH

    by chrth

    <nt>

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Did someone see Kurt Russell laughing?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Me not.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:19 p.m. CST

    Motoko

    by PwnedByStallone

    Stop infringing on my copyright.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    Oooops, sorry pal!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    That was completely unintentional! :-)

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:22 p.m. CST

    Are they ever going to show the Hulk?

    by PwnedByStallone

    At least Ang Lee didn't "Godzilla" us like this.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:22 p.m. CST

    In fact, I also infringed the copyright of "TheCreepy

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ThinMan" or whatever that talkbacker is called. I borrowed his AVATAR coinage...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST

    I simply love those AICN phrases...

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    ...that keep on showing up again and again :-)<p>Long time reader, first time poster.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST

    I really hope that Harley rumor isn't true

    by freydis

    I don't really have words beyond that. She's no Joker, sure, but Harley's one of the better characters that Batman has turned out, and she deserves to be given a decent actress. I'm hoping that she's not much in this one... I would prefer a cameo a la Barbara Gordon where the doctor is just mentioned or something. I like her, but to do the character halfway would be worse than not at all, and I don't want a "blonde bimbo" character.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:25 p.m. CST

    Ed Norton says, "OOOOCH!"

    by ArcadianDS

    Thats him just after being told that William Hurt is in his movie.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Err...did somebody check Leterrier's track record?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    2002:The Transporter (lame, overrated b-action flick)<p>2005: Danny the Dog (can't believe they fracked with Jet Li like that)<p>2005: Transporter 2 (holy cow!!! what a piece of $#it!)<p>2008: The Incredible Hulk (hmmm......)

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:28 p.m. CST

    Hollywood...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    I'll illegally download the trailers rather than give money to 10,000 BC. You'd better just release these trailers on the net. Oh, and 10,000 BC? There were no civilizations, fuckwits, dinosaurs never lived alongside mankind...so this movie has the actual possibility of making its viewers fucking dumber while watching. Ugh. Kurzinski...that was pretty fucking funny, man.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:29 p.m. CST

    MOTOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Wolverine is adding a lot of characters...

    by Mr. Gunderson

    It reminds me waaaay too much of all the characters being thrown into X3. I guess it's supposed to make us fans happy but it's like that douchey friend you have that name-drops; annoying and unimpressive. I hope this isn't the case w/ Wolverine.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I've never understood the hate for Ang's Hulk.

    by TheLastCleric

    The ending was odd and the pacing a tad slow in places but most of the film did a great job of setting up the back story and giving a generally two-dimensional character some much needed depth. The battle in the desert was sublime and the casting of Sam Elliot as Thunderbolt Ross was inspired. I think Ang Lee’s film was a success for the most part but certainly many people disagree. Regardless, I’m curious to see the direction of this new film. Hopefully it’s not the origin story rebooted.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I did check Motoko

    by SpencerTrilby

    I even watched them flicks. Still hurts.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Err..."Guy Who Got A Headache

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    And Accidentally Saves The World", are you alright? 'nough oxygen? Tryin' to tell me sumpthin'?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:35 p.m. CST

    Produce Aisle Origins: Tangerine

    by Cletus Van Damme

    Norton looks pretty good as Banner. I'll be interested to see how well this is received.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    Star Wars Origins: Palpatine

    by Cletus Van Damme

    ...and how well all the extra characters play in Wolverine.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:38 p.m. CST

    What killed Ang's Hulk (24 split screens!!)

    by Samuel Fulmer

    The split screens in Ang Lee's The Hulk were horrid. Yeah, we know it's based on a comic, but the comic panel thing only worked in Creepshow. Also the whole origin (Hulk's daddy abused him) was an awful choice. I guess if Ang would've directed Spider-Man, he would've become Spider-Man because Uncle Ben touched his bathing suit area. Oh and did I forget to mention Hulk dogs?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    I JUST CAN'T GET EXCITED ABOUT THESE PICTURES

    by BurgerTime

    Is Hollywood so bankrupt of good stories that they have to "re-imagine" franchises or characters that were adapted only a few years before? If so, I've got a cool idea! The third Spiderman wasn't so hot, so let's: <p> 1. Fuck all the work that the previous cast and crew did in their universe. <p> 2. Bring in a young hip director with a totally fresh take on the material. <p> 3. Tell people to forget the previous trilogy ever existed and then release the "reboot" to rake in some serious coin. <p> 4. Return to step one and repeat as necessary. <p> *shakes his head and walks away*

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:40 p.m. CST

    Hmm, I kinda liked the splitscreens

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    The ending on the other hand, was horrible...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    WAKE ME WHEN THEY SHOW ACTUAL HULK

    by BringingSexyBack

    I know what Norton looks like already.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:43 p.m. CST

    Hulk + Wolverine = TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    I forgot that one.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    Oh For Fuck's Sake

    by manicart1

    What massive, massive cock teasers Marvel are. A picture of Ed Norton looking like he's trying to squeeze off that last dangly bit of poo that won't quite pop out? SHOW ME THE HULK BITCHES! The pics of General Ross and Wolvie are the shizzle dizzle though.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Yup. That's Hugh Jackman as Wolvie.

    by TruPhan

    Thanks for the still Empire. I forgot what he looks like on the DVDs I own.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Hulk Needs To Get Back To The Bomb

    by Buzz Maverik

    The concept of atomic testing dates the character. I doubt that a 1950s era Hulk would appeal to anyone but me, though.<p>Weapons of mass destruction are still being developed, though. <p>I admire the way the Iron Man movie has apparently updated the origin, simply and effectively substituting the Taliban for the Viet Cong. It's too bad that physicist Bruce Banner couldn't have been abducted by some dictator and forced to build a gamma bomb, only to discover that American hostage Rick Jones is escaping through the test site. Risking his life to successfully warn Jones, Banner is gets too close to the test. Later, upon examination, he Hulks out, liberates himself and Jones, escaping. As Banner again, he and Jones are picked up by Thunderbolt Ross' men, leading to Banner reuniting with Betty, the gal who thought he ditched her ("No, honey, I was abducted by a terrorist state") and we get on with our regular Hulk movie, in which THE HULK TALKS, DO YOU HEAR ME! HE TALKS AND HE SAYS THINGS LIKE: "HULK WILL SMASH! HULK WILL SMASH YOU ALL!" with lotsa exclamation points.<P>That'll be one million dollars, a Purdy shotgun and an H2 brimming with Cuban cigars, please. Contact my agent, Dan the Man at Vortex Tours, Sedona, AZ.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    "20 Reasons Why We Love JOHN RAMBO"

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    is a feature on that Empire site, too! Quite cool.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:46 p.m. CST

    Ang Lee's The Hulk.

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Ang Lee is a director with a voice. And what did he say right after the Hulk? 'Brokeback Mountain'. A stunning visual masterpiece that just so happened to be about two dudes railing each other. Ang Lee's The Hulk was good. I won't lie, I liked most of it, except for the faggoty mutant poodles, and the so-called action of the fight at the end. He had two climaxes in that flick, and the battle against the military was good, even though Hulk looked like a constipated infant, but the battle against the Abomination was an aborted mess. HULK was nowhere NEAR a masterpiece. It was a piece...a nice piece that didn't overly offend. But when your movie's about a walking natural disaster, please don't make it about childhood anger management issues.<p>The new Hulk flick will probably be less artsy-more fartsy, and that's what Hulk fans want.<p>Wolverine's cast may have a lot of characters, but so does fucking Star Wars, pal. And all I need to know about the Wolverine movie is this: Wolverine is in it, and he's cutting motherfuckers up. That's probably all I need to know, but hell, throw in Deadpool and a bunch of Weapon X shit, and it beats 'Last Stand' any fucking day of the week.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    Bring back the Bill Paxton Hulk Movie

    by Samuel Fulmer

    But make him his character from Big Love and have him Hulk out when his three wives start arguing.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    People will appreciate Lee's HULK after this...

    by Kasch

    Mark my words.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    Node..

    by micturatingbenjamin

    I respect your love for this flick..You are truly a fan of Lee or the Hulk or both to be able to overlook just how faggoty those poodles were. I just think that Ang Lee wanted to make an Ang Lee movie not a Marvel Comics movie, and the studio thought they had another 'franchise' on their hands. That's not how Lee rolls, though, he don't make 'franchise' features.<p>The split screen effect was because Ang Lee's from China and doesn't get American comic books. He doesn't understand them, so he's translating to the screen what he believes is going on on the page, and what you get is Hulk, the movie.<p>If it was a Masterpiece, you must be awfully pissed that in the movie called The Hulk there's about fifteen minutes of The Hulk in action, and the rest is a long and drawn out character study. Pick up an issue of The Hulk, and you'll see what a casual fan would desire in a movie about The Hulk.<p>I wouldn't call the Hulk 'comic book bliss'. But only because I don't talk like that. That's pretty fanciful wordsmithing, Node. It was okay, not terrible, but definitely not what someone would expect out of something called 'The Hulk'.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    I'm a WINO

    by DOGSOUP

    I'll go see this movie drunk on wine too

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    perhaps for you node...

    by just pillow talk

    but I agree with micturatingbenjamin. I thought Hulk was okay, but the poodles were horrid dude. No ways around it. And the Hulk really does need more action in it. I'm sure we'll get the complete opposite with this one, which isn't necessarily a good thing, but I too want Hulk to go crazy. He is the fucking hulk after all.<p>I totally concede on your Jen Connelly point. mmmm-mmm

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    My guess on the Hulk split screen

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Ang spent an entire weekend watching 24 season 1 on DVD. I will give the film credit for something, it wasn't as bad as any of the Hulk TV movies from the 80's (remeber the Death one where Hulk fell out of a helicoptor and died, or the one with Thor).

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:03 p.m. CST

    JACKASS FORUM POSTERS

    by 6 DEMON BAG

    I still have ta shake my head at people posting about " this movie will suck because...." and the movie hasn't even been released yet. It fucking boring as hell to read. Get out of your parents basement, or the house / apartment you rent will sixteen other freaks and try to get a life.... You do have a right to your opimion no matter how inane it may be however...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:06 p.m. CST

    There was more than 15 minutes of action in HULK

    by TheLastCleric

    And the poodles were strange but seeing them get bashed up was pretty fun. I really have no opinion on this new film since literally nothing has been shown thus far. It could be a superior movie or it could be an Ed Norton Ego trip. Let's face it, the man is going to expect some serious screen time and Banner is a pretty dull character, even when done well.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:10 p.m. CST

    Anybody seen Richie?

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    I keep coming back until someone REMEMBERS seeing Richie!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:12 p.m. CST

    F$*@ Wolvie Bring on the Deadpool pic

    by MrPopular

    Iron man looks great, Hulk I'm scared that they may fail again... But then again Tyler Durden wouldn't allow that. Hulk vs Project Mayhem? But I'm just anxiously awaiting a screen shot of Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool. I'm just going to go out on a limb but i have a gut feeling they mess with His outfit like Bullseye & he ends up wearing a read leather jacket

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Thin Man...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Thin Man<p>...no one deserved Batman and Robin. I'm not retarded, I just think that if you want to make a movie about the Hulk, fucking put the Hulk in it. The other thing is, you're right, there wasn't NEARLY enough HULK FUCKING SMASH in that film.<p>Drama is fine mixed in with the fucking comic book movie...it's fine, but it's not why people pick up a fucking comic book. Remember how DC Comics put Superman in Dialogue! Comics? You don't because it never fucking happened.<p>My brother likes NASCAR, but we both pretty much hate pork rinds. And fuck, man, you don't really think Hulk was a fucking good movie do you? It was interesting, but it wasn't an Incredible Hulk it was a Tolerable or Mediocre Regular Hulk.<p>Fifteen minutes of action in a superhero movie is fine if it's Watchmen. Or a Sandman movie...but in a movie about a GIANT FUCKING GREEN MAN WHO LEVELS CITIES WHEN HE'S ANGRY doesn't need to be an in-depth character study. Hulk was not a successful action flick, it was a half-way decent drama, which was inappropriate for a Hulk franchise.<p>Use your words, hoss, and you've proven yourself to be a little unhinged over in the Oscar Talkback, buddy, so I won't take your insults personally. :)

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:17 p.m. CST

    thanks creepy thin man for that insightful rant

    by just pillow talk

    Since you liked the Hulk, no bitching is allowed for those who had problems with it? Riiiiiight....<p>I told you Motoko, Stevie ate him.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:21 p.m. CST

    Warwick Davis is your answer testricals

    by just pillow talk

    He's that dynamic an actor.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    Node Redux...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Okay, you got me, it was three big dumb Hulk Dogs, one of which WAS A FUCKING POODLE. Poodles are not the vicious killers one would expect to see sent out to kill Jennifer Connelly, much less the Hulk.<p>Your picture link was of the dog humping its way up the tree, and Hulk about to smash it. Great. Big whoopdedoo. I think you're misunderstanding my point. Ang Lee's movie would have been better, much better served to have action pieces strewn about the flick. More of those, and his version of the Hulk would have been great! The last fight with Abomination was not cool it was lame as shit, when the previous action sequence lasted 7 or 8 minutes and was dynamic as all get out. It's like Superman Returns, they blew their wad with the plane crash, so when your big feature end is Superman chucking a rock into space it falls flat.<p>Finally, man, do you even read the comics? Hulk is a force of nature, like a walking F5 tornado, or a movable earthquake. He's destruction on an epic scale. Ang Lee's Hulk was an intimate study of a hurricane, and something was lost in the adaptation. Fuck, it wasn't that great, and I'm over here defending things like Daredevil and Ghost Rider to my friends all the time, so I know where you stand with this like of Lee's Hulk.<p>I suppose I have more faith in a action-oriented Hulk movie with lots and lots of destruction. It would be like Twister with only a third of the tornado sequences, and focused on Helen Hunt.<p>The Hulk by Ang Lee would have been better served if he went an additional hour and added some Hulk-Sized fucking destruction.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    I am looking forward to both

    by disfigurehead

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    The ending of Ang's "Hulk" was fantastic

    by GiggityGoo

    I get goosebumps when I watch the part where Bruce says to his dad, "You want it? Then take it! TAKE IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!" And all the years of suppressed rage and fear come pouring, streaming, SCREAMING out of him. So much tamped-down rage that it overwhelms the powers of Nick Nolte. I frigging *love* that scene. The sense of final, sweet release it provides Banner is a triumphant moment.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Just remember - Leterrier did Transporter 2...

    by redtom

    ...nuff said.<p><p><p><p>

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Norton already kinda played the Hulk

    by flossygomez

    in Fight Club. you know, basically. Is he going to be in the same gay purple pants or do we get to see his HulkJunk this time around?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:26 p.m. CST

    Sometimes good directors just aren't right

    by Samuel Fulmer

    for the material. I think Ang Lee is one of today's best directors, but The Hulk was just awful. Maybe this is why Kubrick never directed a Superhero movie (even though in all honesty it would've been intriguing to see what he would've done with it, but being intriguing doesn't translate into a good film).

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:28 p.m. CST

    Kurz...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    No way....Ang Lee should have directed Spider-Man...or another 'character driven' superhero flick, which would have been flat out amazing.<p>Letterier needs to be given a shot, because Transporter 2 was just a goofy fucking action flick, but still mostly entertaining. It wasn't supposed to be a fucking Merchant Ivory flick with guns...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:33 p.m. CST

    "The Hulk dogs were an awesome idea "

    by Alonzo Mosely

    And now ladies and gentlemen, I have officially read everything...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    Norton isn't hulking up.

    by Pops Freshemeyer

    C'mon, where are the promised pics with him holding his hand up to the ear and listening to the crowd? That picture was weak...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    That's Entertainment

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Here we come to the crux of the problem. I don't want an entire movie filled with 'splosions. Nor do I want long takes of internal dilemmas. I would like a middle ground. No, you're absolutely right, Twister was a dumb movie, but I had fun watching it play out. Lee's Hulk was a smart movie, and it felt like fucking homework to watch it when you're going in expecting the Incredible Hulk from the comics, and you get an incredibly dense character study. Ang Lee's flick should have been called Bruce Banner (with some Hulk). His movie would have been great with more HULK, and no less anything else. I don't prefer great performances over explosions, which seems to be the misrepresentation here. I like both equally well, and in the Hulk, Banner being a regular and believable character is totally the point. But you should fucking get your construction equipment ready when the Hulk appears, because he's supposed to be epic. Ang Lee's Hulk wasn't epic. It was good but not great.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    poodles can be killers, but not polmeranians?

    by just pillow talk

    Neither idea is cool.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    The 2003 movie sucked

    by Sithdan

    I wish this would mirror Kenneth Johnson's Incredible Hulk TV series, which has always been a favorite of mine.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST

    Brother!!!!

    by picardsucks

    24 inch pythons Brother !!!!!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:56 p.m. CST

    Villian in Lee's Hulk as Node said...

    by Darth Macchio

    ...isn't the Abomination but is more likely 'Absorbing Man' <p><p><p>http://tinyurl.com/2gf8l9<p><p><p>Outside of the dogs, I think Lee's Hulk was a great film. Was it a "kick ass action superhero" movie? To me, yes and no. But this to me isn't a slight against it...there are some beautiful moments in that movie that I have yet to see anything similar in other comic book movies....to me this is a good thing as this genre is getting close to being stale and there's quite a few more stories to tell. What would have been awesome though would be if Nolte, in taunting Bana, had said "Give up the goods boy, or you'll find yourself passing through several canine rectii around 9am tomorrow morning." Any movie that uses the plural form of rectum is fucking the shit and you know it.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Wolverine. Frank Miller. Japan.

    by Billy The Fish

    Nuff said.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    Ang Lee's Hulk Was Tedious

    by kevinwillis.net

    Like all this other movies. Even the sycophants have to admit that, it had been a hetero infidelity at the heart of Brokeback Mountain, nobody would have given a shit. Because except for Heath and Jake gettin' it on, it was a tedious movie. As was The Ice Storm. Okay, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon must've been a fluke. I loved that movie. How could the guy who directed that be responsible for that tedious, caryon-green Hulk movie?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    The HULK do-over movie

    by Orionsangels

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    New Hulk look revealed at Wal-Mart?

    by Reel American Hero

    http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=8087274 If this is indeed merch from the new movie, like I think it is, I like the new (classic) look for the character.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    New Hulk look revealed at Wal-Mart?

    by Reel American Hero

    http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=8087274 If this is indeed merch from the new movie, like I think it is, I like the new (classic) look for the character.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    FREDDY PRINZE CAN'T LOVE YOU LIKE BANNER DOES!!!

    by ZeroCorpse

    HULK HORNIER THAN A - -

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    The End of Ang Lee's Hulk

    by kevinwillis.net

    Was Bana in Central America. It was, in fact, the three best minutes of the movie. It looked like a good movie was about to actually start, and then the credits rolled. I was bitterly disappointed by the Hulk, which I had been excited enough about that I dragged my daughter to come see it with me, and she was bored and confused. I wasn't confused, but I was bored. Even most of the action was boring. Boring. Boring. Zzzzz.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:09 p.m. CST

    Banner being abused by his dad

    by Meglos

    comes directly from the comic. Not an Ang Lee invention.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    HUNKA HUNKA HULKIN LOVE!!!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Repeat after me: <p> Hulk Hulk Hulk Hulk Hulk <p> Hulk Hulk Hulk Hulk Hulk <p> Hulk Hulk Hulk Hulk Hulk <p> Hulk Hulk Hulk Hulk Hulk

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:28 p.m. CST

    WOLVERINE WILL BLOW YOUR MIND

    by skywalkerfamily

    Well, maybe not, but it has to be better than X 3.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    YOUR MOMMA GOT A HULK SIZE PUSSY

    by BringingSexyBack

    Yeah you!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:35 p.m. CST

    AICN review - too many characters movie

    by skywalkerfamily

    should be shorter, what was up with the shakey cam?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    I liked Ang's artistic take, but

    by MattmanReturns

    I'm not gonna trash people for hating it. It may have been too cerebral for its own good.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:42 p.m. CST

    Hulk's not a hero

    by greyspecter

    So to expect him to hulk out to fight bad guys or whatnot at the drop of a hat is missing the point of the entire character. It's not about someone blessed/curse with great power who chooses to use it to fight evil, it's about a man losing control of his emotions. That happens not on a regular or predictable basis, so a Hulk movie true to the original concept of the character has to revolve around the Banner person. the character Hulk is uninteresting in any way other than SMASH. Fine, have that, but we liked Batman Begins because of the scenes where Bruce confronted his fear of bats and how this led to his parents' death and finally how he turned that fear into victory. That wasn't a snazzy action flick, probably had as much @$$ kicking as Hulk, but everyone loves it. Why? Because we expect Bruce Wayne to be conflicted, tortured, but for some reason we expect Banner to serve merely as a plot device to turn into the Hulk!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 2:47 p.m. CST

    Which is why

    by greyspecter

    in the Ultimates, the portrayal of Hulk, though shocking at first, kinda made sense. In our fury, we turn into the worst version of ourselves, the stripping off of inhibitions, and that's often ugly.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:02 p.m. CST

    Am I the only one who liked the Wolverine pic?

    by Mr Writer

    Yeah, it was nothing new, but it was a stylish shot and I've got faith that Gavin Hood is going to make a good movie. The guy's got a lot of potential as a filmmaker and I think he could do for Wolverine what Singer did for X1 and X2 i.e. make a dark, stylish, and intelligent superhero movie, which some great action sequences and depth to some of the characters.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:02 p.m. CST

    another defense of Ang Lee

    by oisin5199

    As tired as I am of defending this film here, I did want to make a few points. Hulk smash is only interesting insofar as we see the contrast with Banner. Thus, a decent Hulk film must be a decent character study of Banner. If it's just the Hulk rampaging all the time, there's no point, no meaning to all (see World War Hulk). So yeah, having Banner, not the Hulk, be the main character is important. You can't have Hyde without Jekyll. Unless you're crap like LXG or Van Helsing. <p> Second, I've heard the complaint over and over again about how Ang Lee made it too 'psychological,' focusing on the abusive father, as if Lee made that up whole cloth. You know where he got that idea? The COMICS. Though it wasn't part of the original story, various reworkings of the Hulk in the 80s did include the abuse story. So this is not new. When people say "look at the comics," they need to be specific about which comics. A lot of writers wrote Hulk in different time periods, from the 60s to today, dealing with different concerns, trends, and styles. I've read plenty of Hulk story arcs that have included intense character studies, not just Hulk smash. There's room for both. Balancing them is the key. I felt Lee did that, but others disagree about that balance. I just worry for this film when the filmmakers constantly compare it to the tv show, which was NOT a good adaptation of the comic on any level.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:09 p.m. CST

    Hulk sucks as a character

    by skywalkerfamily

    Every revamp they do just reinforces the point.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:15 p.m. CST

    Nobody noticed Bruce's...

    by Knugen

    ...GIANT F¤%&ING PANTS!? Attention to detail is something one can not accuse these guys of lacking. I guess Dr. Banner listens to Snoop Dogg.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:19 p.m. CST

    70's HULK

    by ProfGriffin

    Personally, I prefer the HULK from the 70's. With great 70's hair and the willingness to eat a Hostess Snack cake and save children. <br> Seriously, HULK SMASH PUNY HUMAN is a classic bit of Marvel Lore... HULK is a character, not just a mindless brute. Simple like a child...but still capable. <br> I would be VERY surprised if this HULK speaks. He SHOULD, and I want him to...but I'm guessing he'll just roar. <br> I'd be happy to see him eat a Hostess Fruit Pie or Cup Cake too.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    HULK:

    by skimn

    "Should.....have had......the....BBRRAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:21 p.m. CST

    William Hurt

    by skimn

    with the rug and mustache kinda looks like a youngish Keenan Wynn. Actually middle-aged Wynn.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:22 p.m. CST

    The TV Series was the only time Hulk was cool

    by skywalkerfamily

    cause he had cool piano music.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Lee Hulk defenders

    by skimn

    I admired the comic book look, but it had the disadvantage of being another origin story. One with father-son issues yet, ho hum. Remember though, it had a big mutant poodle. Let me repeat, one of Hulk's foes was a BIG MUTANT POODLE.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:32 p.m. CST

    lol if Hulk is good then...

    by BurgerKing

    I'll shit a brick of gold. <p> I have love for Norton but no one cares!!!!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:49 p.m. CST

    HULK SMASH JAMES BLUNT !!! SMASH SMASH!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Hulk mad!! Hulk want you listen how Blunt steal Hulk theme!! <p> Hulk give you links, you click links!! <p> Hulk song (always make Hulk sad): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMbzSdf0_oQ&feature=related <p> Blunt music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Y7WDWP8WMs <p> HULK SMASH!!!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:51 p.m. CST

    HULK NO TIME FOR TINYURL !!! !

    by BringingSexyBack

    You take out spaces!!! Hulk, out!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    Two things about the Hulk Poodles:

    by DerLanghaarige

    1.) It was only one poodle. The other two dogs wre from a different race.<br> 2.) I still can't get over the fact that so many people think that mutated dogs are too over the top in a movie about a man, who turns into a green giant when he gets angry.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:55 p.m. CST

    HULK LOVE ANG!!! ANG MAKE GOOD HULK MOVIE!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    You puny talkbackers think Hulk Poodle easy to smash?!?! Gamma ray make poodle strong!!! Hulk say shut the fuck up or puny talkbackers get assrape by Hulk!~! HULK .... OUT!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:58 p.m. CST

    And although I really, really, really like Ang Lee's Hulk...

    by DerLanghaarige

    ...I think the movie would have worked better without the comic book transitions.<br> Yes, they looked good and it was an original idea, but Lee tried so hard to play that "silly green monster movie" like a "serious" (as in "Arthouse- or even Oscar Material") drama, that the whole "Hey look, it's a comic book"- stuff just didn't fit in right.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:59 p.m. CST

    I liked X men 3, yet Hulk sucked. P.S. Photos aren't that good.

    by hallmitchell

    Would like to see a photo of Hugh in the brown costume. Hulk shot is just Ed freaking out. A bit underwelming just like the Indiana short.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 3:59 p.m. CST

    Pre-Weapon X Wolverine

    by Magunga

    Am I alone in wanting at least one pic of Wolverine sporting his original bone claws?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4 p.m. CST

    P.S.

    by DerLanghaarige

    Can't wait for all the people who will complain about the "just action and nothing else"-Hulk that we are getting now. They will give you everything you asked for, since Lee's Hulk came out and you will hate the movie for exactly these reasons!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:06 p.m. CST

    Magunga...

    by Billy The Fish

    Yes. And if they're giving it all that 'James Howlett' crap, I for one ain't going.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:10 p.m. CST

    Balls to ret-conning!

    by Billy The Fish

    Like I said - Frank Miller, please! I want Mariko Yashida, Shingen, Silver Samurai and Yukio. And a big fuck-off battle against The Hand. Snikt! Oh yes!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Ang Lee can suck my balls

    by BMacSmith

    he fucking sucks

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:24 p.m. CST

    Billy The Fish...

    by Magunga

    Listen, I'm not a fan of "Origins," and I certainly don't want to see much if anything from that ill-conceived miniseries within this movie. The bone claws, however, were not a construct created for that storyline, and the comics have shown him without the adamantium blades on a few different occasions, most notably when Magneto ripped the metal out of him. The natural claws did two things which I appreciated: first, they limited the amount of damage to person and property Wolverine could inflict. The "invincible" metal claws were used to absurd levels, as Wolverine could apparently cut through several-inches-thick steel doors, walls, robots, whatever. Also, the bone claws gave him a more primal, almost feral look. You're entitled to your dislike and disdain of his original claws, but I kind of like them.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:27 p.m. CST

    HULK SMASH WOLVERINE!!! HUGH JACKMAN PUNY!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Hugh Jackman puny dancing man!! This not Wolverine: http://www.amazon.com/Boy-2003-Original-Broadway-Cast/dp/B0000DJZ7T <p> You click link!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Really?

    by Tman2626

    Hulk comes out in 4 months? I thought it was at least in 2009 with the lack of any actual pictures of HULK and not even a hint of a teaser trailer. My guess is they know HULK still looks fake as hell and dont want the animators to hear all the criticism before they are done working in case they quit out of despair.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:39 p.m. CST

    I don't think James Howlett will appear...

    by Mr Writer

    From what I gather (from the first draft of the script at least) Wolverine is referred to as Logan throughout even before Weapon X. And the flashback to when he is a child and pops his bone claws for the first time is completely different to Origin so they are clearly not going down that route.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:39 p.m. CST

    Tyler Durden on Steroids...

    by banditmania

    buy some Hulk soap.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:44 p.m. CST

    HULK THINK LEGOLAS HAS PURTY MOUTH!!!!

    by BringingSexyBack

    Hulk go to sideshowcollectibles.com to check out mouth@!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:48 p.m. CST

    I don't think the mutant poodle was over the top

    by skimn

    I just think it was stooooopid.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:50 p.m. CST

    Again...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    I want the Hulk scenes to be horrific, natural disaster-type scenes, and the Banner scenes to be that kind of Ang Lee introspection.<p>Nowhere have I said I just want eye candy action from beginning to end. Just comics-based pacing.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:56 p.m. CST

    HULK SMASH SHITTY MOVIES

    by skywalkerfamily

    HULK WANNA BE IN NEXT FANTASTIC FOUR, CAUSE THAT WAS BETTER!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:57 p.m. CST

    Mr. Writer...

    by Magunga

    ...I really hope you're right. I read a script review of this film some time ago at Latino Review, and if that is the treatment they use for Wolverine then I'm somewhat hopeful. I do, however, prefer a much older Logan than it appears they're making the character.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 4:59 p.m. CST

    The script is pretty decent on Hulk 2

    by SpencerTrilby

    but it will have a hard time recovering from the (undeserved) bad rap of Ang Lee's version. Especially with such a shitty marketing. <p> Looks like Universal is waiting for Iron Man to open before making the slightest move. What if Iron Man underperforms? No one will care if Downey plays Stark in Hulk 2! People will just wait for TDK. Those dumbasses at Universal must stop dry humping Matt Damon and put together a fucking aggressive PR campaign. Or else it will fall flat on its face. And they'll hire Ratner to re-reboot it. <p> BTW, someone mentioned Leterrier as a "EuroRatner". This is spot on. But at least Leterrier has to prove himself for his first true Hollywood flick (and thus can surpass expectations - especially when those are very low), while Ratner doesn't give a shit and makes a shitload of money with mediocre films. Why should he care? The Rat sucked so many cocks in the business he shouldn't worry about his stuff. <p> As far as I'm concerned I don't really care; I loved the Ang Lee version and if that one fails I can still stick to it. While if Leterrier fucked up Iron Man or Captain America (I read he was approached to helm those before switching to Hulk) it would be yet ANOTHER shitty Marvel flick, in the long list of shitty Marvel flicks. <p> So, good luck Leterrier (even if you're an asshole in interviews. All geniuses have their dark sides^^) it doesn't matter to me if your movie sucks. If it doesn't then it's a win-win situation.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:05 p.m. CST

    Wolvie's claws are fucking LONG, as it should be!

    by Mike_D

    Also cant wait for "The Incredible Hulk"!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:06 p.m. CST

    Gammaroids!

    by Stalkeye

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:07 p.m. CST

    Pic looks like Kimmel is also fucking Norton.

    by Stalkeye

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:10 p.m. CST

    What was sooo wrong with X3?

    by FILMFUNK

    Hulk was really shit and I couldn't believe the crap quality of the CG Hulk and the giant fucking mutants poodles but why does everyone shit on X-Men 3 round here? Apart from the idiotic Ram Man costume wearing Vinny Jones and the slightly anti climactic nature of the final fight I thought it did a decent job! Have no idea what Norton will do with the Hulk but it can't be any worse than Ang Lees shit heap! Really have no interest in the Wolverine spin off one way or the other because as much as I like Hugh Jackman, he never really was 'Wolverine' to me.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:18 p.m. CST

    DEADPOOL VS SQUIRREL GIRL

    by DOGSOUP

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:32 p.m. CST

    Problems with X-Men 3.

    by Magunga

    Let's start with the final battle. Magneto is powerful enough to tear the Golden Gate Bridge off its foundations, yet he allows his fellow mutants get slaughtered by the evil guards on ALCATRAZ while he basically does nothing. What if he simply moved the bridge a few more yards and squished the humans, with the X-Men along side them? Or how about the fact that Cyclops "dies" yet they never show it, leaving the possibility of his return WIDE open? How about the fact that at then end it turned out that the cure that the mutants were fighting against turned out to be temporary? Then there's the silliness of the power-dampening mutant that caused Hank McCoy's Hairy arm to magically appear normal, no shedding necessary? How about the line "I'm Juggernaut, bitch!?" Or when Wolverine defies the laws of physics and maintains his footing while Jean Grey blasts him with a force powerful enough to strip the flesh off his bones? The movie blew bloody chunks of testicle, and that is why many of us dislike it.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:35 p.m. CST

    micturatingbenjamin

    by warsinthesun

    In reply to your post about Ang Lee's Hulk: Nailed it on the head for sure. If you're picking up a Marvel comic for substance you've never read one. And what the fuck does substance do for anyone anyway?! HULK SMASH!! WRARRR!!!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:38 p.m. CST

    The Horrors of Explosive Diahrea

    by Prossor

    Norton's method is dedicated

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    General Ross

    by SlickyVonBoner

    Looks perfect. I didn't think X-men 3 was that bad, just not nearly as good as X2, which I consider one of the best superhero films ever.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:40 p.m. CST

    PICS of the actual HULK

    by Nachokoolaid

    Why is every idiot in here screaming about pics of the Hulk? pics of the Hulk have been online for a few weeks now. Do people not search the internet anymore? I like the new look of the Hulk, but he's a little too lean for my taste. I like Ang's design a bit better, because it looked like he had a bit more mass.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:41 p.m. CST

    here we go again

    by oisin5199

    Besides all the plot inconsistencies mentioned above, the reason why X3 blew was because it took characters that were at least somewhat interesting in the first 2 and made them completely flat, it pointlessly killed (offscreen no less), the LEADER of the X-Men team and one of the most revered characters in the book, the performances themselves were flat (with the exception of one moment with Hank McCoy and Leech, and the brief bit with Angel), older characters were marginalized, newer characters given very little to do and the movie lacked even the slightest bit of directorial and editorial finesse, rushing over any potential emotional moments. The one redeeming factor of X3? Ellen Page! (best Kitty Pryde ever). Suck it, Juno haters!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Mr. Writer

    by oisin5199

    I thought that Jackman said that Origins was one of his favorite Wolverine books and they were going to incorporate some of it in the movie. Frankly, [Spoilers if you haven't read it], I think the reveal that Logan (James) is actually the weak and sickly dandy rich boy and not the feral groundskeeper's son was very interesting and an effective surprise. I especially like the comedy that Joss Whedon got out of that plot point in Astonishing X-Men.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:44 p.m. CST

    Hulk's ruined on me...

    by EvilGeek1

    I dunno. For me it's like building a house on a bad foundation. I don't mean to be a pedant. I'm usually not so cynical but there it is. Still though, it is Norton...

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:48 p.m. CST

    More on X-Men 3...

    by Magunga

    The "Dark Phoenix Saga" was one of the most epic, intense storylines I read as a child. Jean Grey became a being of such colossal power that she could not be contained. As Dark Phoenix she destroyed an entire planet, yet in the movie she moved some furniture and chunked up a couple of people with cheesy special effects, and that was about it. Angel was a whiny little bitch with virtually no storyline, because the movie was so over-bloated with characters it was impossible to keep the focus on anyone for very long. I also had a problem with the effortless way Magneto was able to convince mutants to follow him. MULTIPLE MAN: Who the hell are you? MAGNETO: I'm like you. Join me. MULTIPLE MAN: Sure, stranger, no problem. Don't bother telling me anything about yourself, your organization, or what you want me to do for you. I'm up for whatever.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:57 p.m. CST

    Starship Troopers 3!?

    by dudemandude

    Ok I don't know what to make of this craziness.. it's got Johnny Rico, a couple hot chicks, and bugs! but it looks like a cheesy ps2 game.. lol peep it! <br> <br> http://tinyurl.com/3yy4uw

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 5:59 p.m. CST

    oisin5199...

    by Magunga

    Seriously, you thought the Howlett reveal was a surprise? When I read through I kept hoping that they wouldn't jump to the "it's always the person you least expect" cliche. Frankly, I think growing up as a piss-boy on a plantation is a fitting beginning for such a dark, brooding, lonely character, and that, therefore, Dog would've been a much better match for Wolverine.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:02 p.m. CST

    Ang dropped the ball...pretty simple...

    by Tourist

    ...The material wasn't suited to a family drama, so as a result the Hulk suffered and the family drama didn't work. Desperately trying to fit a square peg in a round hole can be admirable, but your still a tard in the end.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:07 p.m. CST

    Also...

    by Tourist

    ...There is no fucking comparison between Frenchie and Ratner. Fuck, I swear to god some of you retards must be blind, or just sleep through every film. Danny The Dog is no masterpiece, but its handled more than well. You cant compare that to a guy who makes 100 million dollar films that look like sketches on a talk show.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    oisin5199 and Magunga

    by Mr Writer

    There were elements of Origin that worked and a lot that didn't. I'd hoped Logan was much older than that personally. The fact that he could potentially be a few hundred years old always fascinated me. I thought that giving him an approximate age took away a lot of the mystery around his character. It also doesn't fit well with established Wolverine canon. Now that he was born in the late 1880s/early 1890s you have to cram an awful of adventures into the first half of the 20th century. I'd always imagined his samurai training with Ogun as having taken place a couple of hundred years earlier as the samurai were all but extinct by the early 20th century. I also thought the surname Howlett was dumb and I desperately hope it doesn't come up in the movie. The first draft certainly didn't have it in. I think the older kids picking on him in the flashback call him 'James', but throughout the rest of the movie he is simply Logan. It could be in movie continuity he is James Logan, which sounds a lot better. As for his age judging by the period the flashback is set in they are making movie Logan the same age as his Ultimate X-Men counterpart i.e about 70 rather than 100+. Jackman did say he liked Origin, but Marvel know it wasn't received brilliantly by all the fans and they've already distanced themselves from it ever so slightly. I think the movie will be open enough to assume Origin or something similar may have taken place in Logan's distant past, but the only glimpse of his childhood will be when he pops his bone claws as a kid in the flashback. Everything else will be much later in the 20th century i.e. such as the Vietnam flashback - that's where he meets Stryker for the first time by the way.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:20 p.m. CST

    Danny The Dog? You mean Unleashed?

    by SpencerTrilby

    AKA "another cheap Besson production with a respectable cast and 2 1/2 wannabe action scenes"? (see also District B13, Taken et al...) <p> See? To each his own. I thought it was absolute garbage but if you enjoyed it then it's my loss, as much as the 2 hours you spent watching Hulk were yours. I, for one, had a great time. And an even greater time watching it again, even if I admit it's a flawed movie. All comic flicks are. But from a French perspective (Leterrier is French and made French movies as far as I know) he IS the French Ratner: no integrity, no respect for the audience's intelligence, no vision. A yes-man. <p> It doesn't make your tastes less respectable than mine, but the comparison with Ratner is totally deserved nonetheless.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:25 p.m. CST

    HULK NEED FIND NEW PROMO PIC

    by JoeSixPack

    HULK SMASH OLD PIC. HULK FIRE PHOTOGRAPHER.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:34 p.m. CST

    X 3 had the best cast, but the material was

    by skywalkerfamily

    terrible. The main story wasn't bad at all, but it was mishandled.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:43 p.m. CST

    Do we really need more Wolverine?

    by the_scream

    X1-X3 were all about his character. I'm so sick of seeing him on the big screen slashing people with his claws as much as I can't stand to see yet another Alien-Predator movie. Same old bullshit over and over. I want to see an X-Men done Spiderman style. Introduce the orginal team and have Wolverine arrive in the second film as the animal-hothead he should be. As much as I like Jackman, he is like some weird combination of Cyclops and Wolverine. A leader and angry hothead. Secondly, is anyone concerned that the backstory will show Wolverine's origins, yet he will look older than he did in X1? I can handle and ageing Indy but it's been close to ten years since the first X-Men and we are supposed to buy that Wolverine is younger?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:55 p.m. CST

    Scream...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    I for one never tire of seeing Wolverine carve shit up with his claws. I fully buy that Wolverine is in his own movie, and I'll pretend he's younger in my head. They did it in X3, yeah? Made Magneto look like that chick from The Queen...:) Nice.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:57 p.m. CST

    zzzzzzzzz

    by DigitalBeachWar

    what a boring post.... waste of time

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 6:57 p.m. CST

    Hulk movie

    by christpunchers2007

    I don't think it'll be that good. Ironman will be a "meh" movie as well, Wolverine has the most potential to be amazing as long as the writing is good.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 7:22 p.m. CST

    Dude, Norton's fucking pumped up!!!

    by Han Cholo

    Damn this guy's like Bale. He loses weight then puts on like 100 pounds of muscle like nothing. Where can I hire his trainer?

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 7:45 p.m. CST

    Hulk make money

    by Dazzler69

    I know it made it's budget when it was done so everything overseas was profit and don't forget DVD sales. I am sure it was a success for the studio. Don't forget merchandise, toys and video games, I heard it did well on video games. They just need to make the movie more fan friendly and we have a franchise to watch again! I can't wait!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 7:47 p.m. CST

    hulk origins- the purple pants

    by duchuvney_post_x

    after about 40+ years you would think its time has come.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 8:07 p.m. CST

    More than a little tired of...

    by Rogue4

    ...this bogus pretense that the Ang Lee "Hulk" was this deep and contemplative emotional character study. Whatever the director's intent, it was in execution a glaring case of arthouse Pretense over Substance. "Surreal" zoom angle shots of rock algae(or whatever it was) coupled with a script that gave the 2 leads all the characterization of paperweights with Nick Nolte and Josh Lucas hamming it up "Mommy Dearest" style, do not as far as I'm concerned, a "deep" film make. So hopefully this new film will do a better job with the action AND the story aspects. Because its not an either or scenario. Lets stop acting like one can only be accomplished at the expense of the other.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 8:16 p.m. CST

    Dude, I know Hulk made money...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Just on the smashing Hulk fists alone. Man, everyone I know has those. Even the Venture Brothers.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 8:26 p.m. CST

    Gotta chime in here...Rogue I think u nailed it.

    by Brians Life

    While there is certainly this substance to Lee's Hulk movie that is not in flicks like Daredevil or most other Marvel adaptations...I don't know how it got mixed around that people didn't respond to it because it was "too deep or leveled brilliantly."<br><br>I think the movie was a total misfire. It couldn't decide what it wanted to be and neither could Lee. That said, there are things in it that I liked (Nolte's over the top performance was one of them).

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 8:28 p.m. CST

    Duchovny...in the comics the purple pants...

    by Brians Life

    ...were Bruce Banner's homage to Einstein, who reportedly only wore one suit. So Banner bought a bunch of purple pants.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 8:37 p.m. CST

    The Purple Pants...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Are iconic. I always thought it was something to do with gamma radiation from the Hulk's skin making his clothes irradiated. His pants in the Lee Hulk made him look like Shrek. Sorry, the CGI wasn't as good as say, Gollum...But it was alright...I will give Hulk this amount of props: the tank swinging scene was superbadass.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 9:22 p.m. CST

    He's Absolutely RIGHT!

    by Brians Life

    (sarcasm follows)Ya know when I thought of the Hulk's origin I always imagined it'd be Eric Bana in a bicycle helmet getting trapped in a glass enclosed lab and making an "oh shit" face while the frame freezed. FUCK THAT interesting Atomic Bomb blast canon backstory. FUCK IT and EVERYONE...I'm Ang Lee! I crouched a tiger!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 10:05 p.m. CST

    Hulk Deserve Franchise! Smash Puny Spider-Man!

    by Moochman13

    Don't get me wrong, I really liked Ang Lee's Hulk. It took the character in a direction I wasn't expecting, and I'm just about the biggest Hulk freak you're going to find. As many people have stated, Lee's movie was a comic book movie for people who wouldn't be caught dead going to a comic book movie. Unfotunately, the Hulk IS a comic book character first and foremost and Lee's approach pissed off everyone who went to go see the flick in it's opening weekend: comic book fans looking for a kick-ass Hulk Smash popcorn flick. That, and I don't think Lee was really intrested in the character of the Hulk itself. He was just using the whole monster aspect to get his point of repressed anger across. That's why the Hulk was only physically in the movie for about 25 minutes. The ticket reciepts on the second weekend reflected that and Marvel heard the cry loud and clear. We're probably going to see a lot of Hulk Smash in this flick. I just don't want it to be a total action clusterfuck like the Transporter movies are. Hopefully they find some middle ground and give the Hulk the film treatment he deserves.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 10:58 p.m. CST

    Iron Man's gonna be in the HULK?!?!?!?!

    by MrMysteryGuest

    COOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:12 p.m. CST

    Hulk scream for ice cream! And pizza!

    by MrMysteryGuest

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Hulk SMASH Wolverine

    by skywalkerfamily

    Wolverine is pretty boy Hulk says.

  • Feb. 27, 2008, 11:37 p.m. CST

    The funniest thing

    by Mockingbuddha

    about the Hulk Empire article is Louis Letterier saying "Marvel has always made their superhero movies with great actors to make it tangible..." I guess he was thinking, "Stewart: Xavier, McKellan: Magneto, Dafoe: Green Goblin, and oh yeah cream of the fuckin' crop, AFFLECK: DAREDEVIL." Anyone that calls Affleck a great actor is... um... I don't know, ran out of steam, something lot's of people hate, like Ben Affleck! Also I loved Ang's Hulk, but still hope to enjoy the new one. In a strange instance of conectividnessivness, I heard Ed Norton turned down the offered Daredevil role because he didn't want to act in a mask. I guess acting as a bunch of expensively time consumingly rendered pixels is better for him as a "serious" actor. Daredevil could have been a cool movie if he'd taken the part. Is it possible to like someone as an actor while at the same time having utter disdain for their prissy reasons for not jumping in and saving a cool character from Ben Affleck?

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:39 a.m. CST

    Thanks, just pillow talk

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    finally ONE person who understands me ;-)

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:10 a.m. CST

    Live action Norton head on a CGI Hulk body would be awsome

    by Darth_Inedible

    That way when the movie tanks they can just hire another actor and plug his head into it for the remake.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:19 a.m. CST

    Despite the fact that Ratner IS a hack, I actually

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    enjoyed X3. In fact, I enjoyed it much more than X2 despite all its flaws.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Brians Life

    by duchuvney_post_x

    : |

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 3:58 a.m. CST

    Fucking Empire

    by Lost Jarv

    that paragraph posted by Darkocity is a perfect illustration of the shitey low rent Hello style journalism. <P>Useless fucking tossers.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 4:16 a.m. CST

    a few points

    by Lost Jarv

    defenders of Ang Lee's Hulk keep saying "It was only 1 poodle". This is irrelevant. It doesn't matter if it was 1 or 3 it is still a terrible, lame idea and looked fucking dreadful on the screen. <P>Secondly, it was not at any point as clever as it thinks it is, in fact I'd argue that it was pretentious wank of the highest order and about as subtle as a sledgehammer. <P>thirdly, everyone forgets the stupidity of the origin idea- Banner will become the hulk because daddy experimented on himself with starfish DNA. This is a shit idea- I understand that it links back to the "inner demons" thing that was going on, but really it was unsubtle and dim. <P>Jennifer Connolly, although intensely fuckable sleptwaked through the film. <P>The final battle while great on paper looked awful on the screen <P>I didn't mind the split screen stuff. <P>I agree with the guy that said the last 3 minutes were great. They were. <P>Overall, I don't hate it, and it is by no means in the same league as Catwoman, but it is a thoroughly average outing. <P>Hell, this is all just conjecture anyway. <P>Finally, Edward Norton as the hulk.... HULK WANT TO KNOW WHAT SWEDISH FURNITURE DEFINE HULK AS PERSON.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 4:17 a.m. CST

    and if Hulk did smash James Blunt

    by Lost Jarv

    I'd be very, very fucking happy.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 4:39 a.m. CST

    Ed Norton blow me already!

    by dedfx

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 4:42 a.m. CST

    If I see one more psuedo intellectual...

    by poeticwarriorII

    prattle on about how Ang Lee's hulk was a masterpiece or that it somehow transcended the pig shit it was made out of I'm gonna gouge my eyes out. Please feel free to fuck off and die if telling people you liked the Hulk makes you feel superior.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 5:06 a.m. CST

    Where is the..

    by TimMighty

    ..TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION guy ? He is needed. I cant do it like he does.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 5:49 a.m. CST

    Wolverine Infiltrates Elite Hunting In Bratslava, Slovakia

    by LaserPants

    Kicks ass, doesn't bother taking names. Maybe ass-rapes that hot Russian girl for good measure. Adamantium penetration! Goes back home.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 5:54 a.m. CST

    But Ang Lee's HULK Was Good (Albeit A Little Boring)

    by LaserPants

    Feel free to gouge your eyes out poeticwarrior, which btw, is the gayest user-ID name I've ever read. Keeping in mind that I don't care if you think LaserPants sounds gay, because I know it does.<br><br> Oh, and anyways, yeah. I agree that a more action oriented HULK would have been more fun, but Ang Lee's HULK is s till a good film. Its actually much smarter, and much deeper, then it needed to be. Unfortunately, it also got a little too navel-gazing and mopey. I mean, its the fuckin HULK! There has to be much smashings involved. If the final battle was a 15-30 minute ultimate detruction rampage with buildings toppling over and shit goin' BOOM! it woulda made a mint and been great. As it stands, its mostly a movie to smart and mopey for its own good and it failed.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 6:25 a.m. CST

    that's exactly what it is-

    by Lost Jarv

    a fucking perfect description of it: "mopey and naval gazing"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 6:30 a.m. CST

    and where the fuck is this revisionism on X3 coming from

    by Lost Jarv

    That was shit. It's only redeeming feature is that it is infinitely better than those 2 disasters Superman Returns and Spiderman 3, which were absolutely dreadful.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 6:39 a.m. CST

    there were two parts I liked from X3....

    by just pillow talk

    Scene where Xavier got zapped by Jean and when Wolvie went semi bezerk in the forest with all of Magneto's merry men. <p>Let's see...with Supes returns, the plane of course.<p>Spidey 3....when Pete beat the fuck out of Harry in his apartment.<p>I have no idea how there two movies will turn out, though I like everything I've seen from Iron Man. I do not have high expectations for the Hulk. Why couldn't some sort of balance be found with the Hulk, strong story and good action?

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:15 a.m. CST

    Goodbye my Hulky, goodbye my friend

    by Kloipy

    you have been the one, you have been the on....oh my god, you're killing me!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    Where are the warciples today?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I missed out yesterday

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:28 a.m. CST

    They froze our TB Abom

    by Kloipy

    we have been persecuted. But like the Great Burt or the Grizzly we have gone into hibernation in our Safe-Den until the time deems fit for us to rise, yet again, to power

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:32 a.m. CST

    Abom

    by just pillow talk

    On the plus side, I've used the extra time to practice my pencil jihad and I have mastered the "tendon twist" and have hamstrung the entire HR department over the past week. <p>That's what they get for doing a salary matrix.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    Are we in trouble?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    or was the INDY talkback simply over-extended?<p> In other news, over the last two evenings I watched ALL three Evil Deads, and the first each of Reanimator and Phantasm. Army of Darkness has to be one of the best films I've ever seen. Bruce Campbell is definitely a god among men. His one-liners are insanely funny, like "Hello Mr. Fancy Pants, you're only leading two things right now, and that's Jack and Shit. And Jack just left town."

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    Glad you liked them Abom!

    by Kloipy

    I told you man, stop motion skeleton fights to be had :)

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:35 a.m. CST

    Pillow and Jarv

    by Kloipy

    Good morning my friends, our time shall come again!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:37 a.m. CST

    The Incredible Hulk issue #181 the movie

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    is what we need to see. Oh, and Abom, saw your Scheider post in another talkback. They didn't give tribute to Roy at the Oscars because he died after the cutoff date. I forget what it was. They needed time to put the montage together. Now, if they leave him out next year, there's gonna be a beat down on someone.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    I'll be on and off

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Figures, I miss a day, then I come back to the office to learn the place fell apart when I was out. Now they expect me to clean up their messes. I will. With a pencil, the shitheels

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    at least it is frozen not deleted

    by Kloipy

    so any time we need a dose, we can read Jarv's scriptures or puruse the origins of legend

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Reanimator

    by Abominable Snowcone

    was over the top violent, and lots of booby nudity for a 1985 schlock horror film. Definitely one of the sickest movies I've ever seen, but in a wild, good way. Phantasm was just okay. Kinda slow. I didn't like how they played off the ending like it was just the kid's dream. The Evil Deads rock, though. I can only hope to be a fraction of the men Ash and Burt are.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Abom, did you like the 'head' scene in Reanimator?

    by Kloipy

    also about Evil Dead, I LOVE those movies and have for so long, but each time i go back and rewatch them it just makes me a sad about Raimi, because the man used to understand how to make a good movie even with no money. I mean ED series manages to be scary, funny, and filled with action but it always remembered to be fun too. With his newer films ie Spiderman 3 it just seems like he's phoning it in with specks of beauty here and there but nothing as grand as "a farewell to arms"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    How do you pull up old TBs?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Sometimes I'll do a search and the ones I'm looking for won't pop up. I found the Indy TB again by doing a Google search of "kloipy lost jarv." It was the first thing that came up. Soon, we'll be able to do a google search for "true meaning of manhood" and our monikers will pop up.<p> I stopped at a local dollar store yesterday on my day off. I bought a gross of pencils.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:55 a.m. CST

    so after I got home from class tonight...

    by just pillow talk

    what's on tv? Night of the Creeps. Just love the camera work focus on the undead's feet as they slowly walk, or the slugs shooting back and forth.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Abom

    by just pillow talk

    Here's the great power you need:<p>http://www.aintitcool.com/tracker<p>You'll be able to see, starting with the most recent tb posting, all the threads that are out there.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    Farewell to arms

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that was priceless. No one gets punched or falls under a bookcase like Bruce Campbell. When he shows up in 1329 or whatever the hell year it is and they're gonna throw him in the pit, that was terrific. "Alright! Who's next? Who WANTS SOME? YOU?" And then he introduces his boomstick. I think it's great that both Ash and Burt can travel in time.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Pillow!

    by Kloipy

    Dude, I just watched Night of the Creeps last weekend on The Movie Channel. I love that fucking movie so much

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Dr. Hill was completely disgusting

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that Megan chick was cute. You gotta give that actress credit for being willing to get nekkid and have blood spattered all over her and have some headless reanimated zombie lick her and feel her up. I'll probably never see another film where seven or eight naked reanimated zombie corpses are fighting it out in a morgue autopsy room.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Abom...

    by just pillow talk

    I also like after he cuts up evil Ash, and throws hiim in the grave: "hey, you got something on your face" and throws the dirt on him. Man, maybe I should watch that tonight.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Kloipy

    by just pillow talk

    The best is when the undead just stand there...like Brad at the front door. Just hanging out...waiting. At least he was polite enough to knock.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Warciples!

    by Lost Jarv

    I bring bleak tidings, the shitbag known variously as glovedone, braffed and Braff08 has returned to try us. <P>I have prayed to the trinity and am banking on him being on the end of PENCAPOLYPSE in the near future.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    Pillow

    by Kloipy

    yeah man, I love it. I got Monster Squad in my que right now waiting to come. Haven't seen that movie in years but I'm hoping it still holds up<br> "My name.....is Horace!<cha-chunk>"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Personally....

    by grendel69

    I could care less about Wolverine.I wont go see it. Fuck Fox.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Hey Jarv

    by Kloipy

    yeah I saw his "waaa i'm acting like I'm a real talkbacker and you are bothering me" post

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    Abom

    by Kloipy

    Ebert gave Reanimator 3 stars back in the day. His tastes seemed to change over the years

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    Speaking of knocking

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I like when that chick walks in on Ash and he's like, "What, don't you people knock? Were you raised in a barn or something? Oh yeah...I guess you were. Along with all the other primates."

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    I like the star wars Rip-Off in AOD

    by Lost Jarv

    when he's in the pit fighting the Deadite- that whole sequence perfectly parodies ROTJ. It's just fucking hysterical. <P>The scriptures are growing- and I've started adding pictures- I photoshopped Burt into "The Sermon on the mount" so it looks like he's lecturing the people about Ammo, and he's got a big shit-eating grin on his face. <P>I'm going to stuff them all in, including their heads into the last supper for the coverpage. <P>That'll teach my work to put me on Quota time. I don't need quota time to do this,

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Jarv! I can't wait to see that

    by Kloipy

    sounds AMAZING! I'm already laughing. Sermon at the Compound

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    If I can find the necronomicon

    by Abominable Snowcone

    perhaps I can recite the incantation that will dispel glovedone to the nether dimension, forever. If not, we'll just have to pencil stab him.<p> Exactly how many shotgun shells did Ash bring back in time with him? Jesus!<p> Oh, and it did not slip past me that the first stabbing in the first Evil Dead was a pencil-stabbing. Truly beautiful.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:15 a.m. CST

    abom, did you like the pencil stab in Evil Dead 1?

    by Kloipy

    right in the ankle, which not as good as the mouth, is still great to get a pencil stab

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Jarv if your Wondrous Tome

    by Abominable Snowcone

    has photoshop creations like that, I'll need a diaper cuz I'm going to pee my pants looking at it. Metaphorically speaking. Because real men can hold their urine. I'm going to use the "Give me some sugar, baby" line at work today.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    They sell the Necronomicon at my Borders

    by Kloipy

    it's in the religion section

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:18 a.m. CST

    My photoshop skills are not great

    by Lost Jarv

    so it looks a bit botched, but it isn't bad. Burt has a big shit-eating grin and the ancient dudes have their hands raised like they are asking questions. It worked out well. <P>It is astounding how much ammo Ash took back in time, but it isn't inconcievable to think that he could make some more- he did make a metal hand.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:20 a.m. CST

    I'm not wasting either

    by Lost Jarv

    "Give me some sugar baby" or "hail to the king" on the swamp donkey's in my office. <P>I found out last night that the wife has only seen the first evil dead. We watched the second one yesterday and I'm going to invest in the box set (the one bound to look like the necronomicon) on the weekend.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:22 a.m. CST

    kloipy

    by Abominable Snowcone

    When browsers pick up the Necronomicon at Borders, does it bite them? I'd love to walk into my local bookshop and see people screaming, dancing down the aisles like Bruce trying to shake a murderous book off their hand<p> Jarv--oh yeah,you're right. He had a chemistry book in the trunk of his car and he DID make gunpowder. Good call. Damn, Ash is impressive

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:24 a.m. CST

    He's a hero.

    by Lost Jarv

    That's why he is an essential part of the trinity. Burt understands what ammo is appropriate and ash can make it. <P>Truly, they are omninpotent.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:26 a.m. CST

    "You found me beautiful once..."

    by Kloipy

    "Honey, you got reeeaaal ugly."

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:27 a.m. CST

    When they dropped Ash in the pit

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I knew that I was about to see some of the greatest movie moments ever in my entire life, and I was correct.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:28 a.m. CST

    It's funny

    by Lost Jarv

    because Army of Darkness is about a million times more quotable than the first 2 put together.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    I can watch that and the bit where he fights evil Ash

    by Lost Jarv

    over and over again, but I think my favourite moment in the series is when his hand turns bad. That's just really, really funny stuff.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    "you'll never get the necronomicon!"

    by Kloipy

    "Hey, what's that on your face?"<br> "Huh?"<br> Ash throws a shovelfull of dirt in evil ash's face

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    There was a game called Hail to the King

    by Lost Jarv

    that had some absolutely stonking Ash lines in it: "Right Tree-Bitch let's go" and "Good, Bad, I'm the Ash with the chainsaw".

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:33 a.m. CST

    I love the Mini-Ashes

    by Kloipy

    "The names Ash, housewares."

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:35 a.m. CST

    Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart

    by Lost Jarv

    It's also funny that Pillows took his User ID from an Ash quote.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:36 a.m. CST

    I love in ED2 when he's cutting off his hand

    by Kloipy

    and the blood is splashing him in the face and he's screaming<br> "WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!!!HAHHAHAHA"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    the only bad thing about ED2

    by Lost Jarv

    is the giant monster face in the window at the end. <p>I wish they hadn't done that.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:37 a.m. CST

    me and some of my friends

    by Kloipy

    used to watch AOD all the time and rewound the scene where he shoots Evil Ash "goodie little twoshoes" over and over again, that shit kills me

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    Where I come from...

    by Abominable Snowcone

    ...that's just pillowtalk, baby.<p> I think when his hand gets possessed, he breaks like a dozen plates over his head. Bruce Campbell should have received an Oscar just for that sequence alone, just brilliant. And then his severed hand flips him off. Priceless. Oh, you BASTARD!!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Henrietta in the root cellar

    by Kloipy

    that is still some scary shit.<br> "I'll swallow your soul, I'll swallow your soul!"<br> "Swallow this" BOOM

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    I noticed that the first ED

    by Abominable Snowcone

    was very sloppily edited. For example, when Scott first goes to open the cabin door on their arrival, there is an obvious cut and you see another take of him with his hand on the door knob. Oddly enough, after a while I came to enjoy those quirky little cuts.<p> Yeah, Goodie Two Shoes--BLAM!!! "I'm not THAT good."

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:40 a.m. CST

    I just love how much blood is in the movie series

    by Kloipy

    the scene when Ash is in the basement and the pipe breaks and gallons of blood pour out is awesome

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST

    I love the way Scott looks when he turns to Evil Scott

    by Kloipy

    just some funky lookin shit

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    London bridge is falling down, falling down...

    by just pillow talk

    huuuuh...<p>My fair lady!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    Can you imagine

    by Abominable Snowcone

    how lethal Burt would be if he attached a chainsaw to HIS hand? Christ almighty.<p> Whoever advised me to skip the first ED and go right to ED2 (Jarv or Pillow I forget) was correct, because ED2 rehashes the first movie, and also retcons it a little by having only Ash and Linda go to the cabin. And after Linda's death and dismemberment, it's a whole new adventure, and a whole lot more fun. I didn't even expect to see the chainsaw hand until AoD. So you can imagine my glee when Ash and that chick went to the woodshed and made the harness for it and hooked it up. It gave me a boomstick in my pants

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    It fountains all over him when he shoots his hand

    by Lost Jarv

    and the evil woman in AOD has a great line- it's something like "It feels goooood to be bad"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    It is awesome when he builds his metal hand

    by Lost Jarv

    crushes the pipe and goes "groovy"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Ash is so much different between 1 and 2

    by Kloipy

    I like 2 better, but I still love a lot from part 1

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:46 a.m. CST

    Some time when I'm bored

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'm gonna dictate on a tape how I'm an archealogist, and I found this book of the dead, and how my wife got possessed and I had to chop her up. Then, I'll make copies of the tape and just leave them scattered about in our department and watch people start tripping out. All books should have dustjackets made of human flesh. Or at least graboid hide.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    I love the evil ash split scene

    by Kloipy

    when the eyeball is on his shoulder<br> "It's getting BIGGER!!!"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:48 a.m. CST

    Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the gun

    by just pillow talk

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Keep your damn filthy bones

    by Abominable Snowcone

    out of my mouth!<p> I did watch the EDs in sequential order, and it was a fascinating character study for me to watch Ash 'grow' from ED to AoD. From just another male would-be-victim of circumstance with bookshelves falling on him, to a take-no-shit he man ready to challenge an entire army of evil. His performance was so great that I now want to pickup that TV series he was in "Jack of All Trades." Never watched it regularly, but you've got to figure there must've been some golden moments from the Bruce.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    or when he howls at the moon

    by just pillow talk

    when he's good/bad ash in one body still...

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    Evil Dead 1 is still good

    by Lost Jarv

    just not as good as Evil Dead 2. <P>I shall indeed bind the scriptures in Graboid Hide. I feel this is essential.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    "Dead by Dawn!!!"

    by Kloipy

    Bruce is just the king of making himself look crazy as fuck. I love the scene, and it still looks cool, when he's looking into the mirror and the evil version grabs him and they start fighting

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Abominable Snowcone

    the giant monster face in the door at the end of ED2 was okay with me, but let's face it that was right out of Poltergeist. It was cool though when Ash chainsawed the eye, then time portal sucked him in. "How do you stop this thiiiinnnnng?"<p> It would be interesting to see how Ash spends his time after waking up in the future.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    I saw them in 3, 1, 2

    by Lost Jarv

    Simply because I saw 3 in the cinema when I was about 14, then 1 on a bootleg because it was banned in Britain, and for some reason I missed 2 until university. <P>Tree rape pisses off British Censors no end, and I went through a period watching "banned" films- reservior dogs, TCM, The Exorcist, Clockwork Orange, Evil Dead and Driller Killer. I have to say, Driller Killer was a right fucking disappointment. I haven't the foggiest why it got banned.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:53 a.m. CST

    "Klattu, Varata, Necktie!"

    by Kloipy

    I love when the skeletons first start to fight him and like 25 hands all punch him at the same time

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:54 a.m. CST

    Abom-

    by Lost Jarv

    So you didn't see the Hail to The king Ending? I prefer it, although the post-apocalyptic future one is also good

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Oh the Video Nasties

    by Kloipy

    I loved finding stuff like that and feeling like I was seeing something I shouldn't be watching. I agree Jarv, driller-killer is child's play

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:55 a.m. CST

    Bruce gets punched 3,815 times

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in the series

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Not gory, not scary

    by Lost Jarv

    just dull. A complete load of wank

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Abom

    by Kloipy

    did you know in the scenes where the unseen force is chasing someone, they filmed it by attaching a camera to a 2X4 and running, I think I heard that Bruce got his jaw broken by it once

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    really?

    by Lost Jarv

    How many times does he punch himself?

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:01 a.m. CST

    I'm kind of worried about Evil Dead 4 though

    by Kloipy

    I just hope it can live up to the standards we have for it. I don't want Raimi to give us some sappy shit. I just hope he still is up to the task. I know Bruce is.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    kloipy

    by Abominable Snowcone

    no, I didn't know that. But I'm glad you told me. Because after seeing the "Evil cam" a few times, I thought to myself, you know, I could shoot stuff like that out in the yard.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:05 a.m. CST

    Naw, I don't really know

    by Abominable Snowcone

    how many times. But it sure seemed like he got punched a lot. Even in the first movie. Just hilarious the amount of abuse he takes. He must have an adamantium skeleton.<p> At my next work meeting, I'm going to lop off my hand with a chainsaw on the conference table and yell, "Who's laughing NOW?" I'll wait for the dullest moment, right in the middle of the meeting when people usually start nodding off.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:06 a.m. CST

    Evil Dead 4

    by Lost Jarv

    I remember when this first surfaced- it was in about 1998-1999. They turned the plot of it into the game "Hail To The King" which has an absolutely awesome ending that fits perfectly into the series.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    What I'm going to do is feign unconsciousness

    by Lost Jarv

    and then when one of them leans over to see if I'm awake just nail their fucking hand to the desk with a butcher knife and laugh maniacally. <P>That should get me fired.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:11 a.m. CST

    during meetings, I like to...

    by just pillow talk

    hold up one finger from each hand just like Ash did, and go "You're good pillow and I'm bad pillow...goodie little two shoes, goodie little two shoes" and then proceed to punch myself. <p>I always get sent home early.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    punching yourself is a sure-fire way to go home early

    by Kloipy

    or just stare at the plants and laugh as loud as possible. People tend to leave you alone

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    It still pisses me right off that stupid

    by Lost Jarv

    Lovefilm Don't have Army Of Darkness. It is properly cunting annoying. <P>What the fuck is wrong withthe british public- I think only 5 people need to ask for it before they get it. There must be more British Geeks on here that need to rewatch this classic.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    or I bust out doing some jumping jacks

    by just pillow talk

    then quickly sit down and yell "Go meat!"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:16 a.m. CST

    or pillow

    by Kloipy

    or end every sentence with<br> "you go girl!"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    They never send me home

    by Lost Jarv

    and I have actually walked into a meeting late and said "hail to the king", <P>The fucker's unexpectedly got the joke. I wanted to cry,

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:18 a.m. CST

    I have a stupid teleconference in about 10 minutes

    by Kloipy

    God, I hate them so much.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    "oh no you didn't!"

    by just pillow talk

    That's my response to everyone when they give an update to their dept.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    teleconferences are OK if you can do it from your desk

    by Lost Jarv

    Otherwise they suck more than meetings.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    some guy is sitting at my desk with me for this one

    by Kloipy

    so I gotta jet, I'll be on later. I'm going to work in "groovy" more than 5 times into this meeting. See ya guys

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:35 a.m. CST

    unlucky.

    by Lost Jarv

    That truly blows. That's the worst of all worlds. Do they not know that you have the 2true religion to spread?

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    Bring plenty of sharp pencils, kloipy

    by Abominable Snowcone

    School the shitheels today. Ask them if they "want a piece."

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    good opportunity to have the "document" on your desk

    by just pillow talk

    Introduce your co-worker to the wonders of the church of chang.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:38 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Abominable Snowcone

    tomorrow will probably be a slow day at work. Even slower than usual. I may add a couple pieces to the text and shoot them over to you in the zone.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    When my 3 year old son

    by Abominable Snowcone

    now requests a snack, instead of raisins or animal crackers he either gets beef jerky or an atomic fireball gobstopper.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    where the fuck did the x-files 2 clip go???

    by just pillow talk

    Christ, I had posted to it, as well as others. Were they "forced" to take it down? Shitheels.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    no problem Abom,

    by Lost Jarv

    the more the merrier. <P>I already have included finky and pillows Jcak Burton/ John Nada stuff into "The Book of John (carpenter)" and stuffed in the fable of the one-eyed man. <P>I can't believe I forgot Kurt and his contribution to ass-kicking. <P>Even if he did cry like a little bitch in Death Proof (Which is not to be forgiven- fuck you QT).

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:42 a.m. CST

    I have less than no interest in the X-Files.

    by Lost Jarv

    If it had come around 12 years ago then I would have been interested.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    You're goin' DOWN

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Kurt was in Death Proof? Kurt RUSSELL? And I didn't see it? Oh damn. Got more catching up to do.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:44 a.m. CST

    also, I am going to add a fable about

    by Lost Jarv

    a mythical preacher that harnessed the power of the gangs by shouting "Can you dig it". It's going to be hagiographic.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:45 a.m. CST

    Avoid it like the plague Abom

    by Lost Jarv

    DOn't fall for it. It is turgid, dull shite of the highest order and it doesn't do Kurt any favours. <P>He needs to get Carpenter off his sofa to make Escape 3. I don't give a fuck where they're escaping from but it needs to be made

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:48 a.m. CST

    Escape from Tuscon

    by Kloipy

    that was a quick meeting thankfully. I'm going to work on some stuff to send you this weekend Jarv

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    skin that flint boy...

    by just pillow talk

    you gonna just stand there and bleed?

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    tell them hell's coming, tell them I'm coming!

    by just pillow talk

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    Excellent

    by Lost Jarv

    I'm at a loss what to do with it when it's done. <P>I'll obviously have to try and get it published (Ha!). I wonder if those people that published Vern's Seagalology would be interested.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    I just had to slap Braffed again,

    by Lost Jarv

    but I accidentally used pillows earlier slapping. Sorry man.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:52 a.m. CST

    like the Bible had The Book of Ruth

    by Kloipy

    we need The Book of Ripley because she was a chick who verily did kick some major ass

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:53 a.m. CST

    Tremors 5: Escape from Perfection

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Starring Michael Gross, Fred Ward, Kevin Bacon, Bruce Campbell...and Kurt Fuckin' Russell.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    I was thinking about using the intro to

    by Lost Jarv

    once upon a time in mexico for a book on Salma's asskickery. But that film upsets me.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    no problem Jarv...one would think that would help

    by just pillow talk

    but alas, he is lost to the human race.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Abom, Kurt would make a GREAT add to Tremors 5

    by Kloipy

    I gotta get working on that script. When I do get some stuff done I'll send it to you guys as well

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:56 a.m. CST

    Ellen Ripley is like the patron saint

    by Abominable Snowcone

    of kicking space monster ass, and of hypersleep. And small grey military panties. I saw her just the other day in Ghostbusters 2 when my kid watched the DVD. I would like to be a gorilla in the mist of her pubic jungle thatch. Yes sir. Or at least, back in the day I would have. She didn't look quite as good in that trailer for Vantage Point. She looked beaten and bruised. And she's got a desk job.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 9:57 a.m. CST

    FLASH FORWARD TO THE WEEK AFTER THIS FILMS RELEASE

    by Summer_Pudding

    very well put. Looking forward to the new Hulk. Not bothered about the Wolverine pic. I think Jackman was miscast. Too pretty, not enough menace. If only Dougray Scott had signed on from the beginning.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10 a.m. CST

    I think both photos of Wolvie and Hulk

    by Abominable Snowcone

    feature heavy-duty CGI on Norton and Jackman's arms. Both guys are in good shape, but c'mon not that good.<p> This post inspired by summer_pudding, who reminded me what the header of this TB was. Even though the true subject matter is The Church of Chang, baby.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    hey, don't try to rehijack a thread

    by Lost Jarv

    we're very, very good at this.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:05 a.m. CST

    What do you guys feel about Bruce?

    by Kloipy

    He is McClane after all

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    and he did get to suck face with Milla

    by Kloipy

    which I think gives extra points right there

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:08 a.m. CST

    This might deserve

    by Abominable Snowcone

    it's own place n Jarv's book<p> http://tinyurl.com/yrd55k

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    I would include Bruce

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in the book of manly men. In fact, one of the things I was going to contribute to Jarv's hallowed tome was a list of all the manly characters who inspire us, and how much (percentage-wise) we should emulate each. John McClane definitely would have been in that list.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:17 a.m. CST

    that's just awesome Abom....

    by just pillow talk

    I forgot about the "Good, I could use a horse blanket."

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:19 a.m. CST

    He doesn't kick ass perse but

    by Kloipy

    I would include Christopher Walken, because no-one fucks with the Walken and lives to tell the tale

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    OMG!

    by Abominable Snowcone

    http://tinyurl.com/27hezd

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:21 a.m. CST

    The problem with bruce is that although McClane

    by Lost Jarv

    does indeed kick arse, he has also voiced babies and committed the cardinal sin of appearing in friends. Where he cried.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    Trapped in time. Surrounded by Evil. Low on gas

    by Lost Jarv

    Awesome.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:23 a.m. CST

    Walken has kicked ass on more than one occasion

    by Lost Jarv

    and was the evil Angel in The Prophecy so is definately worthy of mention.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST

    Michael Madsen

    by Lost Jarv

    Must be worth a nomination- Not only was he Mr Blonde, but he shagged Jennifer Tilly in the getaway in front of her husband causing him to hang himself.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:28 a.m. CST

    as a newer member of the Church of Chang

    by Kloipy

    I would put in a good word for Viggo. Because the man fought balls-out naked and skull fucked a dude with a knife. That made 2true proud

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    We've got so much great material for the scriptures

    by Lost Jarv

    It is clearly going to be the definitive work on religion in the 21st century.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:35 a.m. CST

    Bruce Campbell Facts

    by Abominable Snowcone

    http://tinyurl.com/32erg9

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    Jarv it will be studied for decades

    by Kloipy

    Church of Chang 101, starting with the book Burthartha which will change the minds of young students first experimenting with pot and Phish

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Abom that's great!

    by Kloipy

    looks like we have more followers than we thought

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:39 a.m. CST

    Ashology 101...

    by just pillow talk

    deals with combating the dead and getting chick to dig you.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    I've started to make it mock academic-

    by Lost Jarv

    adding footnotes to bogus references and things like that. <p>For example, I cut and paste the original Werewolf Ass Fuck

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    I only know Vigo from

    by Abominable Snowcone

    LOTR and Witness. But based on those performances alone, he's in. Anyone who bangs Liv Tyler's character in a film is IN.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Burt fed 25,000 people

    by Kloipy

    with 1 slim jim, and 2 drops of Sunny D

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:41 a.m. CST

    Bruce Campbell fact #5 has me conflicted

    by just pillow talk

    But then it must have been a panda bear they were talking about.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Jarv's writings

    by Abominable Snowcone

    will eventually be like the necronomicon itself, where hapless coeds will find the book laying around in a summer cabin and, on reading from it, shall unwittingly summon the divine forces of Trueburt Ashgum, which shall then proceed to combat with and dispose of any evil or unmanly agents that might happen to be around at the time. Using only appropriate ammo

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:43 a.m. CST

    Church of Chang:Cliffnotes

    by Kloipy

    Viggo was also in Texas Chainsaw 3, which while not a great movie, still Viggo was in a Chainsaw flick(and I don't count the remakes because they weren't real)

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST

    remakes? what are these remakes you talk about

    by Lost Jarv

    I refuse to acknowledge there existance

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST

    I think I'm going to produce and publish

    by Abominable Snowcone

    little religious pamphlets to hand out to school children. They will say, "Yes, there really ARE monsters" on the front. But on the inside it will explain that they shouldn't worry, because there are also Warciples of Ashgum.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    you know what guys...

    by Kloipy

    people get paid tons of money to write shit like Adam Sandler pretends to be Gay, and yet Stampede Entertainment can't even return our brilliant ideas? We should all have jobs writing and directing. Our last TB was funnier than any movie I've seen in the last 20 years

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    why do I think the Hulk movie will flop?

    by Rupee88

    I may actually go see it, but I think if the first one didn't make mad money, this one will really flop. I hope Marvel makes its money back though...maybe overseas and TV and toys will make it work....hope so.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:47 a.m. CST

    Where the Wild Things Are

    by Kloipy

    is actually a documentary about the Heaven of the Church of Chang

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    It has a sequel called Where the WIld Things Were

    by Lost Jarv

    but us true believers know the answer- They were in Perfection, but Burt cleaned them out. For shits and giggles.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:51 a.m. CST

    We can't not nominate Ray Winstone

    by Lost Jarv

    truly, he is the daddy.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:52 a.m. CST

    and also possibly Braffed's Daddy

    by Lost Jarv

    but my money's on a one-armed leprous heroin addict.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    Here is a quick list

    by Abominable Snowcone

    of individuals I am considering for inclusion in the "Recipe of a Man." Let me know who I'm missing, or who should be excluded.<p> Bruce Campbell, Michael Gross, Michael Beihn, Bruce Willis, Harrison Ford, Bruce Lee, Sly Stallone, Chuck Norris, Steve McQueen, Paul Neuman, Robert Deniro, Tony Jaa, Al Pacino, Lee Marvin, Harry Dean Anderson, Jackie Chan, David Hasselhoff, Robert Ulrich, Keifer Sutherland, Sean Connery, anyone who played a gang member in The Warriors, Vigo Mortennssen, Michael York, Bruce Campbell (a second time), George Peppard, Fred Ward, Kevin Bacon, Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Coburn, Gene Hackman, Clint Eastwood, Barry Bostwick<p> Possible women combatants include Reba, Sigourney Weaver, Linda Hamilton and Uma Thurman. And Jamie Lee Curtis. The MILF list is something else entirely, but might include some of the above.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    When Ash is going batshit and...

    by Darth Macchio

    ...laughing with the Moosehead and furniture...also going batshit....the best when he matches the movements of the possessed desk lamp. Pure Raimi genius. Pure and undiluted. The basement door slammed on the mom-demon which squirts out an eye right into that girl's mouth. Brilliant! We should get more of Man-God Bruce Campbell but instead we get more Will Farrell screaming/crying and posing naked.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:55 a.m. CST

    Going to lunch guys

    by Kloipy

    I'll see you all later

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Warwick Davis, Roddy Piper, Kurt Russel, Ray Winstone,

    by Lost Jarv

    Gene Hackman is a fucking great choice. Popeye motherfucking Doyle!!!!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 10:57 a.m. CST

    Darth Macchio

    by Lost Jarv

    You are clearly on your way to converting to the Church of Chang. <P>Congratulations.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    Charles Bronson...Clint Eastwood

    by just pillow talk

    William Holden, Ernest Borgnine (The Wild Bunch my friends)...

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11 a.m. CST

    I forgot Warwick

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Or at least, I almost did. But there he is. Oh, and toss in Mel Gibson for his Lethal Weapon and Mad Max work. Danny Glover gets an honorable mention, possibly an inclusion, for killing a predator, even if it was completely not believable. Oh, and definitely throw Charles Fucking Bronson in there. And possibly a little bit each from Van Damme, Seagal. And some William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy AND Ricardo Montalban. And hell, a pinch of Antonio Banderas And a teensy bit of Jimmy Stewart. And Robert Fuckin' Shaw. Drefuss is debatable. Maybe. And Tom Selleck, because he fought with Gene Simmons in "Runaway" and Robert Hays for his work in Airplane. And I think some Christopher Reeves

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:01 a.m. CST

    shit...didn't see you already included Eastwood Abom...

    by just pillow talk

    2for2true is not happy...

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Oh and Roy Scheider

    by Abominable Snowcone

    he was such an obvious pick for me personally, that I didn't even have to write his name out.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    The Cast of The Dirty Dozen,

    by Lost Jarv

    Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke (used to be a boxer),

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    And Jeremy Bulloch

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that's another personal choice for me. And Yaphet fuckin' Koto and Carl Weathers, not to forget our bruthas

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    ang lee's hulk = kubrick's 2001..

    by foree forehead

    ..whereas letterier's hulk = 2010. i'm not equating the original hulk with my favorite movie of all time but the analogy is about the gulf in class between the two sets of sequels. this thing is going to be THAT bad.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:04 a.m. CST

    Dustin Hoffman

    by Lost Jarv

    Killed a Yokel with a Bear trap. <P>That's some good work with improvised weaponry right there

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:05 a.m. CST

    Eric Bana

    by Lost Jarv

    Cut his own Ears off in Chopper.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Bill Paxton

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Get him in there, also some Willem Dafoe, and definitely Sam Elliott for christs sake. It has a photo of Sam in the dictionary next to "Man"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:12 a.m. CST

    Cookie Monster and Animal

    by Abominable Snowcone

    from the Muppets taught me more about being a man as a child than any one actual human male in my life.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:17 a.m. CST

    Man =

    by foree forehead

    Brando, clearly

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:20 a.m. CST

    You want a man?

    by a rolling stone

    Harrison. Fucking. Ford. ("and what's an "alumimum falcon?")

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Dan Haggerty

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Even some Michael Landon. Lance Henrikssen. Jack Nicholson. Can't believe I almost forgot Jack

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Rolling Stone

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Yeah, Ford's near the top of the list, perhaps just under Bruce Campbell. I saw him on the Barbara Walters interview and my vagina got wet. And I'm a guy.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:27 a.m. CST

    James Franciscus, Charleton Heston

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Steve McQueen. Did I mention Steve in that first list? I can't remember.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Abominable Snowcone

    by a rolling stone

    You feel me on that? Give him a whip, give him a blaster, give him a wide-brim Amish hat and he still kicks ass. In fact, I'd pay a pretty penny to see him in a power ring.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Well i suppose...

    by I AM ROCKO

    ...the one thing the new Hulk film has going for it is that most people seemed not to like the Ang Lee film- although I really enjoyed it, yes, yes I know I'm on crack, a twathead etc for liking that film my fellow talkbackers. So if it is a decent action superhero flick word of mouth may be good. Oh yes- the other thing it has going for Liv Tyler- fucking gorgeous. I would have preferred the sequel to focus on her version of Betty character who trying to find the Hulk, comes into an alternate reality where she meets Jennifer Connelly's version. They then spend of the rest of the four movie touching and playing with each other. Best go, I'm beginning to hulk out over me thoughts...

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Rutger Hauer

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Liam Neeson for his work in Michael Collins, Darkman, Phantom Crapace, Schindler's List, and naturally--Nell. Tay in da wee-in. Russell Crowe. Because with him, I am entertained

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    Abonimation

    by a rolling stone

    I've got hope for this Hulk, just because we get a real villain. I know Lee was working on that whole "the villain within" thing, and dad was a bad guy, but what's a hero without a truly good villain? One needs the other. Isn't that what Mr. Glass was trying to teach all of us in Unbreakable?

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    You could put Harrison Ford

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in a summer dress on a porch swing drinking countrytime lemmonade with a wicker basket of flowers under his arm, and he'd still kick your ass just by giving you "that look." In fact, at the School of Being a Man, the first movie they show you after the Evil Dead series and punching you for a while is "Force 10 from Navaronne"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Sex Crazed and Retard Strong.

    by StudioPlant69

    Sorry, I had to say it. Yeah those were ok pics, but I agree with the poster who said William Hurt's wig looks weird. Sam Elliot was the best thing about the Ang Lee Hulk movie.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Chow Yun Fat

    by Kloipy

    if for nothing else besides Hard Boiled

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:45 a.m. CST

    Clive Owen

    by Kloipy

    he's pretty badass

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:47 a.m. CST

    Clint Howard

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Nah, I'm just kidding, fuck him

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:48 a.m. CST

    Clint Howard was in Ticks

    by Kloipy

    and he did say<br> "I'M INFESTED!!!"<br> not really bad ass but pretty damn funny

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:50 a.m. CST

    Bruce Campell is such a fucking man

    by Kloipy

    that he grew balls on his chin and that is why it is so defined

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    Abom, did you ever see the Verhoven movie

    by Kloipy

    called Flesh+Blood with Rutger in it? It's really weird. All I remember really about it is them looking for mandrake root and then a girl getting gang-raped by a bunch of knights

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    nah, can't include Clive Owen

    by just pillow talk

    One could argue Craig Craig belongs since he was a badass in Casino Royale and he had Eva Green.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    Bruce Campbells' balls have balls

    by Abominable Snowcone

    He had pubic hair when he was 2 and needed to start shaving his chin around then as well. He was once hit by a truck and the driver was killed instantly

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    what the fuck am I on?

    by just pillow talk

    Craig Craig??????<p>Daniel Craig.<p>Picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    but Pillow

    by Kloipy

    he did fuck Belluci and stab a man to death with a carrot. That's some manly shit

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:54 a.m. CST

    yes, but that movie was horrid

    by just pillow talk

    Though tis true he fucked her while killing bad guys. But does one single act define manliness? I think not. It must be the sum of his actions.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Beefcake

    by a rolling stone

    Take Paul Newman from Cool Hand Luke, mix Bruce Lee from Enter the Dragon, then sprinkle some of Arnold's "Dutch" from Predator, and add a sprig of Connery's Bond for old-school flavor.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Bruce's semen is so potent

    by Kloipy

    it can pollenate flowers and it attacks an egg like a pitbull on a ham bone

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Balthazar Getty

    by Kloipy

    Just for his name

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 11:59 a.m. CST

    Funny you should mention that, kloipy

    by Abominable Snowcone

    because I read in a scholarly nature periodical that if a gay man were to siphon and gargle Bruce's semen, ironically, that man would become a devout heterosexual thereafter.<p> I also read somewhere that the cleft in Bruce's chin is from going down on so many women. He had it by age four. In school, his teachers always wondered why his face smelled like fish.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    Bruce is such a man

    by Kloipy

    he sleeps with 18 plastic bags tied over his head

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:05 p.m. CST

    most manly statement made by a kid

    by Kloipy

    was by Peter Pan in the newer live action movie. He's got a sword to his throat, his is about to be killed, does he beg for mercy? No fucking way. He just looks straight up to the heavens and smile and says<br> "To die will be quite an adventure"<br> that's some tough shit from a kid

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    I didn't see that

    by Abominable Snowcone

    but Peter's Pecker must be huge and veinous for him to be saying stuff that manly. If they'd cut him, they'd have probably drowned in his blood or something.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    IF you cut Bruce

    by Kloipy

    dicks come out

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    He also has to sleep standing up like a horse

    by Kloipy

    otherwise the rush of blood from his giagantic dick would cause his head to explode

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:27 p.m. CST

    I wonder if Bruce's meathog

    by Abominable Snowcone

    has ever been mistaken for a graboid? I'll bet he has to sleep with his dick in a giant sling so the weight of it doesn't cause it to be ripped from his body. Also, I wonder if Bruce got stabbed by 2true with a pencil, would it just glance off? Do they sell magic pencils at S-Mart?<p>

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST

    I recently came into some money

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I didn't know I had, so I ordered 200 more Tremors Attack Packs and arranged for them to be shipped to some impoverished third world nations. So now, while those children may not have food to eat, they WILL have courage.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:36 p.m. CST

    courage is better than food

    by Kloipy

    for the price of a cup of coffee children can learn how to be a man

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    A can of soup

    by Abominable Snowcone

    only postpones the inevitable. A Tremors Attack Pack steels your spirit for it. You know the old saying. Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Give a man an Attack Pack, you embolden his spirit for a lifetime, and then some.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    LOL Abom that was so funny man

    by Kloipy

    Xi, venison is good. But remember Burt went into the desert for 38 years and never had to eat

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:48 p.m. CST

    Xiphos

    by Abominable Snowcone

    True, but after watching Tremors or Evil Dead 2, starving people will have the fortitude to do what is right. Which is, take the weakest among them and make stew. The nourishment will build antibodies. In some of those third world countries, you drop a load of elk on them, the elk will just run off because they're all too weak to run or aim a bow and arrow. They need someone like Burt or Ash to show them how

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:52 p.m. CST

    Give a man a graboid, he will probably die

    by Kloipy

    Give Burt a Graboid and he will eat it raw

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 12:56 p.m. CST

    Cute office chick just walked by

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I told her to give me some sugar. She just kinda looked at me. I looked back with a wry Bruce smile and a cocked eyebrow. Something tells me I'll be going home early today

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:05 p.m. CST

    abom, ask her what her feelings are abou polygamy

    by Kloipy

    than slap her with you penis and say "hail to the king"<br> Xi, you gonna make some deer jerky with that. Mmmmmm That's one good thing about living in the upper east-coast

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:09 p.m. CST

    I don't hunt

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I simply drive through the metroparks and aim for the deer. They're everywhere. I guess you could call that hunting. But not in the sense that I have to track them down. It's just like "oh, yeah, there's some." If I did hunt, it would be with a Hoyt Eastman compound bow with explosive arrowheads like Rambo II. And I'd hunt dinosaurs and graboids

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:14 p.m. CST

    Abom the best way to hunt, as Burt showed us

    by Kloipy

    is with dynamite and toy trucks

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:15 p.m. CST

    Although I should say

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that during a mid-morning round of email gossip, Cute Chick did indicate that she was having some new furniture delivered to her house tomorrow. So we made the expected quips about, oh is it leather or leopard prints? Does it have stirrups? She blurted out that "everyone knows chair sex is the best." I was smitten all over again.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:16 p.m. CST

    I hit an opossum a couple years ago

    by Kloipy

    and I remember it vividly. It was late at night and I was going home and all the sudden in the middle of the road was an opossum. It turned it's head and opened it mouth to hiss at me as I drove right over top of it, thinking it would miss the wheels, but then as It was towards the back I hear this load DONG sound as it's head hit the exhaust

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    damn I'm getting hungry now

    by Kloipy

    I want some deer bologna and some jalapeno chedder. Buffalo is really good. For me when it comes to bird, I go with pheasant, it does have a more gamey taste but holy shit it is good

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    Just last week I backed out of my drive

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in the morning for work (still dark out) and when I turned to look back, there was a huge possom where my car had been. It must have been hiding or sleeping there. My 3 year old kid in back thought it was a "giant mouse." Even for a possum it was big. I got out, walked over and stomped my foot by it to shoo it away, but it just sat there looking retarded. I just decided it was playing dead, because that's what they do, and they're nocturnal, so when the sun comes up it will just go away.<p> Well, I learned later it DID go away, but not after scampering under my wife's car and hiding there till she left for her work. She said it scared the shit out of her. I told her I'd seen it, and she got mad at ME for not warning her about it--as if I'd set up some elaborate joke. Possum 1, Chick 0

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:25 p.m. CST

    my grandparents were Pennsylvania Dutch

    by Kloipy

    so they made me each all kinds of gross shit, like pickled pigs feet. God that shit is nasty

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:27 p.m. CST

    I could go for some possum jerky

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Or panda jerky, or a baby seal hoagie with a side of fries. Or some potato chips crafted from the finest endangered humpback whale meat, with 'real sea salt'

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    No possum sightings since then

    by Abominable Snowcone

    probably because all of Cleveland looks worse than ice planet Hoth, after the snowstorm earlier this week. Wampas probably ate them all, poor little fuckers<p>

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    funny possum jokes

    by Kloipy

    you should play those jokes on the wife. Put like 30 possum's in her sock drawer, watch panic ensue

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:31 p.m. CST

    abom, you could wash down that meal with

    by Kloipy

    some Bengal tiger spinal fluid

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:34 p.m. CST

    I don't go to conventions

    by Abominable Snowcone

    but if they had one like this in Ohio, I'd be there in a flash. Not only would I be able to kneel and kiss Bruce Campbell's feet, I would also be able to tell JoBeth Williams (Poltergeist) that she was stroke-it material for about a year running when I was 12. Plus, Roddy Piper.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:36 p.m. CST

    Possum sock drawer joke

    by Abominable Snowcone

    HAHAHHHHAHAAHA!! How'd those get in THERE? Bwahahahaha!<p> "You bastard. I hate you."<p> "Aw c'mon honey, lighten up. It's just a JOKE. Plus, we know what we're having for dinner tonight. That's right kids--possum McNuggets." <p>"We hate you, daddy"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:39 p.m. CST

    See ya Xi! Abom, I just got a hilarious image.

    by Kloipy

    Your wife gets out of bed because she hears some rustling around. She flicks on the light switch to see hundreds of possum's all hissing at her. I mean everywhere in the bed, on the ceiling, coming out of your face. Then she just flicks the light back off like in a roadrunner cartoon

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    Every possum should have a good home

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in the winter, where they can be safe from a wampa attack

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    Wind Wampa and Possum

    by Kloipy

    dude, it is crazy windy here today. I need a tauntan poncho. <br> on another note. We should both start possum sancutuaries in our respective homes. Wives come home to find 1000's of rabid possum's roaming free in the house.<br> Kloipy's Possum Paradise<br> Abom's Possum Palace

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    I will wear a parka

    by Abominable Snowcone

    made of possums. They will still be alive. I'll just arrange it so they join their snouts and tails and cover my body for warmth. And I'll wear a big one on my head.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:03 p.m. CST

    I'd drive a car made out of possums

    by Kloipy

    and when I beep the horn, a possum gets shot out of the windshield like a bullet

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    I'm gonna make a movie called Vitlesman

    by Kloipy

    and when he opens his mouth possums come out

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Wiki on possoms

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Or where I live, "Oppossums." Did you know that oppossums have a bifurcated penis? They have low blood temps and are generally immune to rabies and rattlesnake bites? As part of playing dead, they secret noxious fumes from their anuseseses. In short, possums kick ass

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    in all seriousness I grew up right next to a place called

    by Kloipy

    Opossum Lake. and one time we found these abandoned baby possums and raised them. They would sleep hanging from my finger with their prehensile tails

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:10 p.m. CST

    Wiki more or less confirmed

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that the possum in my driveway was playing dead. They go into a semi-catatonic state. I could have punted that fucker like a football and he wouldn't have budged. Next time, I will. I'll get out a big ol' shovel and bludgeon it and skin it and make a penis cozy

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    So how old did they get

    by Abominable Snowcone

    before you ate them? Or did you let them live, and mount armor and canons and guns on them and send them on missions? That would rock

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    "a penis cozy"

    by Kloipy

    that had me fucking dying man. That is priceless.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    we kept them for like 6 months

    by Kloipy

    then crafted them Icarus like wings and threw them off buildings at small children leaving school

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    Flying possums would rule

    by Abominable Snowcone

    kind of like an ass blaster, only they wouldn't explode unless you shoved an M-100 up their asses, then threw 'em at schoolkids. Imagine the laughter to ensue.<p> "Oh my God, Tammy! What happened to YOU!?"<p> (sobbing)"Some mean man threw a giant mouse at us off a building, and it BLEW UP on us, mommy!"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    I can imagine the helpless people below

    by Kloipy

    "What's that dark cloud approaching?"<br> cue hundreds of hissing possums descending upon them

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    possums are a sign of anger from the holy trinity

    by just pillow talk

    Its their version of locusts.<p>Release the possums.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Nothing livens up the kids birthday party

    by Abominable Snowcone

    like 'sploding possums, new from the Kloipbom Toy Company. Only these aren't toys--they're real live possums with firecrackers shoved up their asses. Imagine the surprise when you unless a flurry of non-flying marsupials off the roof of your home at the backyard birthday party! And don't forget to order the possum pinata!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    BTW...penis cozy

    by just pillow talk

    That was pretty fucking funny....

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    How do I find this shit???

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    seriously go here now guys

    by Kloipy

    http://home.everestkc.net/econit/possum/flyingPossum.jpg

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:25 p.m. CST

    I meant to say "unleash"

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Not "unless." Sigh...end of the day. I've been working so hard. Not.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    Kloipbom Toy Company

    by Kloipy

    Killing childrens dreams...one at a time

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Node32774

    by foree forehead

    well like i said, it's more about the gulf in class than the movie being exactly poor. 2010 was on tcm a couple of weeks ago and i watched about 25 mins. of it again. it just doesn't compare to its predecessor, 2001 isn't even like... a movie, know what i mean? it's like some soul-altering drug. pretentious maybe but i love it and few things make me more emotional than the image of the skyward bone cutting to the hovering spaceship. i never saw sunshine, it sounded terrible, at least the end bit. oh, and how could i forget, the most manly of man's men is KEN FOREEEEEEEEE

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    I'll take 300 of those winged marsupials

    by Abominable Snowcone

    do they come with armor and accessories, or is that shit extra? <p> "Oh what pretty birds!"<p> "Those aren't birds, sweetheart. They're GIANT ARMORED AIRPOSSUMS"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    ha...that's tatooed on 2for2true's left nut

    by just pillow talk

    He has an army of possums armed with pencils as spears.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:29 p.m. CST

    I think that settles it

    by Abominable Snowcone

    My first stop-motion animated film will have to be about a Possum of War that can fly and strangle people with its prehensile tail (with armor spikes) Burt and Ash will cameo in it

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:30 p.m. CST

    an army of possum skeletons

    by just pillow talk

    Brought forth from the Book of the dead...

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:32 p.m. CST

    That's a great idea pillow

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Pencils are inexpensive, light, good projectiles for possums. I'm going to fashion some little helmets for them with a headlight. Even though possums don't need light to see in the dark, it will look cute. I'm thinking cross-promotions and shit. Burger King glasses, etc.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:33 p.m. CST

    going for a smoke

    by Kloipy

    I'll look out for flying possums

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    You see that possum skull on wiki?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Those lil' nippers have some serious teeth going on. Their skulls will look great mounted on my warciple armor and shield. I can't wait for the first headline in my local paper that reads "Neighborhood Dog Stabbed to Death by Possum-Mounted Pencil"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:34 p.m. CST

    don't go the way of the ewoks Abom!

    by just pillow talk

    The possums will wear armored helmets with spikes. Cross promotions with mustache grooming kits, chainsaws, and whatnot.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    "Possums raid local convenience store in broad daylight"

    by just pillow talk

    Cashier found dead due to 37 pencils stuck into his mouth and numerous bite marks around the ankles.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:45 p.m. CST

    node#####

    by foree forehead

    i watched some of even horizon on tv, holy shit was it bad! i mean it just kept on topping itself in crapness. let's hope hulk 2 isn't anything so poor. maybe i will rent sunshine so, i heard the visuals are very trippy and well done.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:48 p.m. CST

    Cleveland shall see its first

    by Abominable Snowcone

    pencil clerkicide this year

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:49 p.m. CST

    Kloipbom Toy Company presents Possum Penis Cozy

    by Kloipy

    "Even if it's cold as fock, you'll be warm with your possum dick sock!"

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:52 p.m. CST

    Even wiki says

    by Abominable Snowcone

    possum fur is "quite soft." At Kloipbom toys, are engineers are well aware of this, because they rub possum fur on their bodies all day long in the testing room. Especially on their private parts. And yes, the possum fur is attached to still live-and-writhing possums

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:53 p.m. CST

    Hey Xiphos

    by Abominable Snowcone

    can your device command an army of pencil-stabbing possums? That'd be sweet.<p> I'm out of here, time to vacate the office and run down some venison. Be back tomorrow AM, having watched Bride of Reanimator, probably.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:55 p.m. CST

    "Local elementary school devasted by possum attack"

    by Kloipy

    Today, John Denver Elemantary sustained a barrage of flying marsupiles. We spoke with 3rd grade teacher Ira Lebowitz who died hours later.<br> "I was 2 days away from retirement when I saw the flock heading towards us, pencils glimmering in the sun. I told the children to get under the desks, but it just wasn't any use"<br> Flowers can be donated to the Hoffman-Roth funeral home. 334 dead, only 2 survivors. I'm Josh Danger, this is WBBL live

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:56 p.m. CST

    see ya Abom

    by Kloipy

    have a good night and enjoy the honeymoon with the Bride

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:57 p.m. CST

    It goes without saying

    by Abominable Snowcone

    that all of the kamikaze possums with be equipped with self-destruct microchip blastcaps. To raise the body count.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:58 p.m. CST

    Later you ciples of war

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and wranglers of militant marsupials. Burt raises his chainsaw high in triumph and lets fly the devastation from his boomstick in the night

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 2:59 p.m. CST

    Oh shit

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I really must be losing it, mixing up my gods like that. I meant to say Bruce. Christ almighty. But praise be to the graboid hunter as well

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 3:12 p.m. CST

    America: We kill you with possums now

    by Kloipy

    Xi, you need to get to work on that. Nothing would scare the enemy more than a flying possum

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    hahaha..

    by Braffed

    you guys are so fucking hilarious!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 3:28 p.m. CST

    Abum, Sloppy, Funky and Jarv...

    by Braffed

    Seriously guys. Please just meet at an undisclosed location and get the all-male orgy over with. I haven't seen this much sexual tension since the 6th season of Moonlighting.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 3:29 p.m. CST

    aw come on Braff

    by Kloipy

    you know moonlighting was on 12 years before you were born

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 3:30 p.m. CST

    Thank God..

    by Braffed

    for reruns!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 3:37 p.m. CST

    glovedone/braff I realized something this morning

    by Kloipy

    You are the Michael Bay of talkbackers. You have no heart or soul, no sense of humor, no idea of good films because I never have heard you say anything about a movie. so you are now Michael Bay

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 3:46 p.m. CST

    Wolverine will suck, Hulk will rock

    by Kragmose

    Iron man will own them both, then The Dark Knight will own the three.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 4:22 p.m. CST

    Hello

    by BringingSexyBack

    This thing working?

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 4:23 p.m. CST

    Haha I thought you guys got locked out again ..

    by BringingSexyBack

    heee! Carry on! <p> Xi, you got that 605 yet? Awesome huh?

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 4:31 p.m. CST

    I FORGOT TO TYPE IN CAPSLOCK

    by BringingSexyBack

    MY BAD!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 4:32 p.m. CST

    JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING?

    by BringingSexyBack

    Hells yeah! And you got the touchscreen too you bastard. I got old fashioned buttons on my AV500, which is a very early iteration of yours.

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 5:03 p.m. CST

    IF I DON'T TYPE IN CAPSLOCK NO ONE WILL KNOW IT'S ME ...

    by BringingSexyBack

    Attention whore that I am ..

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 5:45 p.m. CST

    HULK Screenplay LEAKED Find link here:

    by nooneimportant

    www.1337news.com only Ninjas please. don't tell where you got it!

  • Feb. 28, 2008, 6:53 p.m. CST

    Watchmen

    by THE KNIGHT

    Got the book from the library. I shall begin reading tonight!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:37 a.m. CST

    Xi,

    by Lost Jarv

    I don't know what they call him, but the army usually addressees by rank not title. They probably call him "bullet magnet"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    we don't have possums

    by Lost Jarv

    but we do also have a crap animal- the humble dormouse. A creature that literally sleeps for 300 days a year. My wife loves them because she thinks they are cute. <P>It's a completely hopeless beast, and I find it astounding that they haven't been darwinned yet.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 3:36 a.m. CST

    I'm not losing ground to the fucking

    by Lost Jarv

    nerdfest of that D & D TB. Have you ever heard such bullshit: <P>"My wife has a 145 IQ, Double D titties, and likes it when I scream in elvish whilst she sucks my nob." (I'm paraphrasing but that is basically what a lot of them are saying) <P>BULLSHIT. I hope the divine Trueburt Ashgum unleashes a plague of pencil armed possums on them and they get stabbed until all the dork runs out of them.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 3:37 a.m. CST

    I basically need to make sure I stay 20 posts ahead

    by Lost Jarv

    of them. <p>It shouldn't be too hard. I clearly need to start composing a "book of nerd" which graphically details the multiple beatdowns that they receive.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 3:39 a.m. CST

    that should do it for a while.

    by Lost Jarv

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:06 a.m. CST

    Jarv

    by Kloipy

    I'm sorry to hear that you don't know the terror of the flying possum. Maybe when I get over seas again I can smuggle some in

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:18 a.m. CST

    So like

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Last night I watched Bride of Reanimator. It was just okay, pretty much more of the same from the first one.<p> But more importantly, after BoR I watched THE PROTECTOR. Holy shit, can that Tony Jaa kick ass. I mean, he leapt from the ground and kicked out a streetlamp just to make a point! He roundhoused some evil chick off a helicopter! Those fights in the warehouse and at the end were sick! Great movie. I thought it needed a better title, though. The Protector is kinda weak. Doesn't say enough. It should be renamed ELEPHAN-KATA.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:20 a.m. CST

    it's original name was Tom Yung Goon, Abom

    by Kloipy

    isn't it fucking sweet. What is disturbing though is the bad-lady isn't a lady. She's a tranny. but dude how about the part where he breaks like 50 arms?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:23 a.m. CST

    I love the steadycam fight up the restaurant

    by Kloipy

    that shit is awesome. They did that all in 1 take. I love how Tony Jaa can go from looking like an innocent man playing with an elephant, to a raging lunatic kicking more ass than you could imagine

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:31 a.m. CST

    Yeah I was watching that sequence

    by Abominable Snowcone

    thinking to myself, shit, he's still making his way in an upward circle, and I haven't noticed any cuts. If that bad chick / thing was a tranny, I didn't notice. The version I watched wasn't English, and didn't have subtitles, so I might not have caught some of that shit. At first I thought this would be a prob; I'm okay with subtitles but this version didn't have any. After a while, it didn't matter. You're just waiting for him to snap more bones. After watching the film, I was inspired to break into my neighbors' house and kick the shit out of all of them.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    I'll bet Tony Jaa

    by Abominable Snowcone

    is pissed off that South Africa recently lifted a long-imposed ban on hunting elephants. Apparently the pachyderm population there has exploded over the last decade, and they're willing to rescind the legislation to allow some herds to be, uh, thinned. I've got half a mind to fly over there and snap their bones. Except for the fact that I can't fight like Tony Jaa, and airplane tickets are probably real 'spensive. Sigh...the main point is, you don't throw Tony Jaa's baby elephant through a window, for God's sake!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:34 a.m. CST

    at least it wasn't the dubbed version

    by Kloipy

    which sucks because the voice work is pretty bad. I love when he does a spilt and slides between the dudes legs. Tony Jaa is so fucking awesome. If I tried to do that move where he runs up the persons body and kicks them in the face and does a back flip I would probably kill myself

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:36 a.m. CST

    Tony Jaa should be the spokesperson for PETA

    by Kloipy

    I mean, seriously, who would fuck with animals if you knew somewhere in the world a very angry Tony Jaa was running to fuck you up

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:37 a.m. CST

    The Protector is awesome

    by Lost Jarv

    and Elephants are a real bastard animal that is also viciously slandered by Hollywood (Dumbo, Baa Baa etc). <P>In SA there's a tree that male elephants love the fruit of- so they go and snarf loads of them. These fruit then ferment in their stomachs to make BEER. The elephant goes to sleep, wakes up with a cunt of a hangover and goes to find something to either fight or fuck. It isn't picky about which.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    The guy was walking up walls

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and sprinting over chain-link fences. I wish some of the bad guys at my office would try to attack me with flourescent bulbs or run me over with an ATV. The one braided dude he fought in the flooded / burning temple was insane. That guy spent more time cartwheeling around on his hands than he did on his feet. Tony Jaa must have felt like he was fighting an octopus on crack.<p> A very small portion of the movie was in English, like with those regular police guys working for the Sydney police. But everything showing just the bad guys and mafia people discussing their evil plans was in...uh, cantonese or whatever it was (pardon my ignorance, I don't know what language it was). But it was easy enough to follow the story. Elephants being sold on the black market, some of them winding up on the menu at an exotic upscale restaurant where they serve baby pandas and other endangered animals as delicacies. Or else your elephant might become a skeleton on which bad guys hang their jewels. And Tony doesn't like that. It makes him cry, and remember all the things he did with that elephant as a child, and it's very emotional, and God help you after that, because he'll kick your face off. Backwards.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    have you seen the fucking nerdfest in

    by Lost Jarv

    that dungeons and dragons TB? WTF? grown men and (alleged, although I call bullshit) supermodels with Einstein IQ's get their weekend jollies by dressing up as Elves and waving cardboard swords at each other. How fucking sad is that. <P>It's as bad as those 501 muppets or trek conventions.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:40 a.m. CST

    the elephant is an animal to be respected and feared

    by Kloipy

    they say in africa, the most dangerous animal isn't the Lion, it is the Elephant and the Hippo

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    Yeah Jarv, I was making fun of the LARP kids

    by Kloipy

    how fuckin' dorky can you get?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    I'd like to eat a pandaburger

    by Lost Jarv

    I bet it would be even tastier than the Unicorn pasty I had last week,

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:41 a.m. CST

    I think today at the office

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I'll try that move where I'll run down the hallway at two people approaching from the opposite direction, and I'll leap at them, full-force, and drive them to the ground with my knees. And once they're writhing on the ground, I'll catch their arms and ankles with my legs and do a little 'twist' and snap them. Then I'll start yelling 'Where's my baby elephant!?"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    Elephants are a real problem

    by Lost Jarv

    they're fucking huge (Hence why Burt Almighty needs his Elephant gun) and aggressive and they destroy everything in their path. <P>They're also a problem in India.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:42 a.m. CST

    When Tony cried

    by Kloipy

    I got scared, because you know if you make a motherfucker like Jaa cry, someone is going to die

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:44 a.m. CST

    Hippos are another bastard bad tempered animal

    by Lost Jarv

    I lived in South Africa for a while. It's a great place. <P>Mind you, I didn't go anywhere near any animals. Except for once when I went to the Kruger park because someone told me that going on safari was fun. It isn't it's dull, dusty and just plain shit.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:45 a.m. CST

    remember when the guy threw the bell necklace at Tony

    by Kloipy

    and he got this look on his face like "I'm going to fucking kill you", I would have just jumped out the nearest window. Or in the first fight when the people are in the lounge listening to music and all of the sudden a dude comes flying into the room, then in comes tony, knees first to knock down like 8 people

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    When I saw him crying

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I was moved, partly out of sympathy for his loss over the elephant, but mostly because he was crying like a baby and I knew he'd have to kick lots of ass to compensate for wearing unmanly emotions on his sleeve. But after breaking 7,322 bones, I think he made up for it. I suppose partly I was moved because I knew that anyone in his vicinity was in immediate grave danger.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:46 a.m. CST

    It's not a great film

    by Lost Jarv

    but that bit with the snooker ball in Kiss Of The Dragon always makes me smile. And I sneakily fancy Bridget Fonda.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    *sigh* The true emotional bond

    by Lost Jarv

    between one man and his elephant is a great motivational tool for asskicking. <P>Burt has a similar bond with Graboids. They upset him, so he has to kill them.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    I love how when he's breaking all those bones

    by Kloipy

    it's like he's not even paying attention to all the dudes trying to kill him.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:48 a.m. CST

    Bridget Fonda is hot as hell

    by Kloipy

    let you crush be known Jarv. Fonda is fantastic

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    I'd like to set TOny Jaa on that nerdfest

    by Lost Jarv

    he has no time for their bollocks. He would flaming leg kick the lot of them into the afterlife.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Yeah, that was like

    by Abominable Snowcone

    the first action sequence in the movie, and I was like "Okay, yeah, here it comes! They better give him back his elephant."<p> I was worried when that dude threw the bell necklace at him, I was like "Oh no, they killed the baby. Tony's gonna kill everyone now."

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:49 a.m. CST

    Is Fonda a milf yet?

    by Lost Jarv

    she must be surely.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    dude, if they killed the baby

    by Kloipy

    Tony would have exploded into pieces

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    little Tony Jaa fact

    by Kloipy

    He was a stunt double for Robin Shue in MK2. Which is not something to be proud of, but Tony Jaa can do anything and still be awesome

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Wiki says Bridget Fonda

    by Abominable Snowcone

    is married to Danny Elfmann, the music guy. Doesn't say if they have kids. She's 44 and HOT to trot.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:52 a.m. CST

    Fonda has to be a MILF

    by Kloipy

    she's been around for awhile now

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:53 a.m. CST

    that makes me sad

    by Lost Jarv

    though it's ok because he got Burt's permission. And warwick was the stunt double for giant dove number 2.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    she's 44?

    by Lost Jarv

    fucking hell. She's holding up well. <P>I find her presence can really help some pretty unwatchable shit. And she said the best line Tarantino ever wrote.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    Jarv I agree

    by Kloipy

    she was the best part about Monkeybone

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST

    I saw her in Single White Female

    by Abominable Snowcone

    she aroused my Single White Graboid

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    fuck that was horrible

    by Lost Jarv

    I also have a thing for Marissa Tomei circa My Cousin Vinny age. She must be a milf as well, and I wish she'd stop appearing in crappy Adam Sandler vehicles. She's an oscar winning actress for fuck's sake.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Kloipy LOL at "if they killed the baby"

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Yes, Tony's anger and sadness probably would have caused a temporal vortex that would swallow the entire universe. And THEN he'd FLK everyone

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8 a.m. CST

    Marissa Tomei is so fucking hot

    by Kloipy

    I hear you see her naked getting banged by Phillip Seymore Hoffman(???) in that Before the Devil Knows You're Dead movie.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:01 a.m. CST

    Single White Female, The Assassin, Jackie Brown, Lake Placid

    by Lost Jarv

    were all graboid stimulating films.<P>There's an Ash thread. How awesome!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    the flip side of that Kloipy

    by Lost Jarv

    is that it is Phillip Seymour Hoffman banging her. That is not good.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    I know, I wanted to repost our entire conversation

    by Kloipy

    from yesterday about Evil Dead over there

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:05 a.m. CST

    PSH should not be aloud to look at Marissa

    by Kloipy

    she's way to hot for him. My wife HATES him with a passion. When they showed him on the Oscars the other night she was like<br> "I hate that fucking prick, he disgusts me." but she also has Todd Solondz Happiness on our Netfilx, and I'm like, if you hate him now just wait until you see that movie, dear God

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:05 a.m. CST

    allowed not aloud

    by Kloipy

    too early to proofread

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    PSH is a good actor

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in everything I've seen him in, but the guy does look like he has some kind of albino skin disease going on. And at the end of the day, being a good actor is NOT enough to impress me if it's the WRONG kind of acting and isn't MANLY. Which is to say, if you're not Bruce or Harrison Ford or Michael Gross or someone else on the list we started yesterday.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:07 a.m. CST

    christ Kloipy

    by Lost Jarv

    I sometimes wonder if she hates you. She makes you watch some proper miserable shit.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:08 a.m. CST

    PSH was Truman Capote wasn't he?

    by Lost Jarv

    If he was that is the least manly role you can play. A short fat homosexual that speaks like droopy. <P>A great performance, just antithetical to manliness.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:09 a.m. CST

    Oh yeah

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Didn't DeNiro bang Fonda against a counter in Jackie Brown?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:10 a.m. CST

    we just have a huge difference in movies

    by Kloipy

    like last night she giggled when she say the new trailer for Sex and the City movie, but she couldn't make it through 40 minutes of Blue Velvet

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    I liked PSH in Punch Drunk Love

    by Kloipy

    "Shut shut shut shut shut shut shut shut shut shut UP!"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:11 a.m. CST

    They should invent

    by Abominable Snowcone

    another Oscar to give for a performance like that. Instead of just one naked gold man standing there, there will be another naked gold man bending over in front of him to accept the gayness deep inside

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    Deniro banging fonda is totally different.

    by Lost Jarv

    And wholly acceptable. <P>Women have strange tastes. <P>Shit, the fire alarm is going off. Tony Jaa must have flaming leg kicked my boss. See you later.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:13 a.m. CST

    see ya Jarv

    by Kloipy

    stay out of Tony's way

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:14 a.m. CST

    Abom, did you see The Fountain?

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:16 a.m. CST

    Watch out for Tony

    by Abominable Snowcone

    when you're running down the stairs. He's probably on his way up, looking for his baby elephant.<p> I don't NOT like PSH. Hell, I don't know the guy personally. He just looks kind of creepy, which I suppose speaks well of his acting, because that's all I know of him. But I do know that he is not in the same league as the Deities of the Church of Chang.<p> Speaking of which, I hope the sacred verses are not lost in a fire at Jarv's office. On second thought, those words are so sacred they're probably fireproof

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:17 a.m. CST

    I'd go into a burning building to save the scriptures

    by Kloipy

    the story must be told!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Remember what Jason Statham did

    by Abominable Snowcone

    in Transporter 2 to save the antidote? He leapt out a window knowing there was probably nothing but cold, hard concrete street below. But he knew he had to do it. I'd do that for the Holy Verses.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    we're having a little movie marathon this weekend

    by Kloipy

    at my house, just me and the wife. She got to pick more than I did, but here is the list of stuff<br> Margot at the Wedding<br> This Film is Not Yet Rated<br> The Lookout<br> Palindromes<br> Candyman 1(my pick)<br> some mandy moore movie(shudder)<br>

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:32 a.m. CST

    oh and

    by Kloipy

    Darjeiling Limited<br> Death at a Funeral<br> I wanted to get 30 days of Night but that was out. I heard it's not great, but still might be cool to be stuck in from the snow to watch a vampire flick

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:38 a.m. CST

    The holy verses repelled the fire from the building

    by Lost Jarv

    Sad. They could have just saved my office. <P>That's a strange list Kloipy- <P>This film is not yet rated is a funny doc. It starts really well but then he just gets a boner about sex and naming the censors. It's a bit creepy

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:39 a.m. CST

    Lovefilm partially redeemed themselves yesterday

    by Lost Jarv

    and sent Children of Men. <P>But they STILL don't have Army of Darkness. Wankers.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:42 a.m. CST

    There's ANOTHER fucking D&D thread

    by Lost Jarv

    yuck yuck yuck. I can't even be bothered to go on it and abuse the nerdlings that flock there.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:43 a.m. CST

    I haven't seen any of those

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Probably for the best, except maybe Candyman, which might be okay. I picked up Children of Men at the library but took it back without watching, because it would have interferred with my Tremors Marathon two weeks ago. Is Lovefilm like a Netflix, where you rent-by-mail online?<p> My mission at present (apart from converting nonbelievers) is to get hold of a copy of Timerider, preferably without having to pay like $30 on eBay for it. Hey, did Jarv see Megaforce yet? I vaguely recall someone here was gonna see it for the first time the other night?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:45 a.m. CST

    Abom, you haven't seen Candyman yet?

    by Kloipy

    Dude, you need to, it's fucking great

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:49 a.m. CST

    No, I missed a lot

    by Abominable Snowcone

    of those fringe 80s horror movies. I'll have to add it, along with Leprechaun. <p> I am circulating a petition to have the city of Cleveland, Ohio, change its name to Wampakonetta.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:50 a.m. CST

    Haven't had a chance yet.

    by Lost Jarv

    It's a really heavy partying time of year for me (6 Nations rugby etc), and my wife has seen it and absolutely refuses to let me put it on on the good telly. <P>She's being most selfish about this, but luckily the alternatives have been evil dead. <P>Abom, Lovefilm is ike netflix, except more annoying.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:51 a.m. CST

    The essential Leprechaun ones are

    by Lost Jarv

    4, 5 and 6. <P>And Candyman is an awesome genuinly scary film. Candyman 2 and 3 are crap.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Tony Todd is also a model of manliness

    by Lost Jarv

    dude has his hand cut off, gets burnt alive and stung to death by bees. <P>And what does he do? Comes back with trained bees, guts people with the hook instead of a hand and converts a whole area full of scary dudes to his religion. <P>That's some fine work

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:57 a.m. CST

    Jarv did you know

    by Kloipy

    the scene in Candyman when the bees come out of his mouth is actually real? He put the bees in his mouth

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    Yeah, I knew that

    by Lost Jarv

    That film gave me fucking nightmares when I first saw it.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:02 a.m. CST

    me too I actually remember it vividly

    by Kloipy

    I was at a friends house and we had got Event Horizon and Candyman. Wasn't scared by EH but Candyman shook me up really bad. So when we went to sleep I had a hard time getting to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and I freaked out because he must have hung his jacket up somewhere where the moon cast it's shadow on the wall and it looked just like the big coat Candyman wore and I was like "holy hell, I'm gonna die tonight"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:04 a.m. CST

    Nightmares like that are sweet

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I love thinking I'm going to be killed every night. Currently, I'm taking a stop-smoking pill called Chantix. It gives you FUCKED UP nightmares and I love it. Still smoke, though. heheh

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:07 a.m. CST

    Me and my wife are going on Chantix

    by Kloipy

    I already have such fucked up dreams, I'm kinda scared. I had one with zombies in it last night, it was crazy. We were trapped in a school and had zombies chase us through the air ducts

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:13 a.m. CST

    It does work

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Unlike zyban / wellbutrin, Chantix goes to the nicotine receptor in the brain and prevents it from like crossing the synapse that gives you your fix. When people asked if I'm smoking less, I tell them, no, actually. Because what happens is you smoke half a cig, and it doesn't taste as good and you're not getting the FIX, so you put it down. But then a few minutes later you light up again because you never got the FIX you were after. So you try again. But then you only smoke like half of that one. All in all, I am smoking less. It's just a matter of me using more willpower to stop the actual ritual behavior involved with it. In addition to causing nightmares, I've also noticed that another side effect is I don't get my usual fix with coffee anymore, either. So maybe the nicotine / caffeine receptors are in the same piece of brain meat. I dunno. But I find I'm leaving half cups of coffee around, and I usually chug that shit.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:19 a.m. CST

    I love my coffee

    by Kloipy

    although I drink WAY too much. I don't even get hyper, I just need it. It's going to take something to help me quit smoking though. I've tried the patch, cold turkey, nothing has worked. I just like smoking so I think that is part of the problem

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    I like smoking

    by Lost Jarv

    but I know I am having to quit at some point

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:28 a.m. CST

    Exactly

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I've tried all that nonsmoking stuff as well. I also drink copious amounts of coffee. Over the years I've developed a tolerance for the caffeine, so it doesn't make me hyper--but if I don't have some after a while, I notice it and crave it. So once you're on Chantix, the thing to do to supplement this is to run around the office kicking ass.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:36 a.m. CST

    if i don't drink coffee

    by Kloipy

    I get a huge headache. You know they say smoking takes off 10 years of your life, but those are the bad years anyway. I'd rather be dead than be in a nursing home

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:39 a.m. CST

    What does work

    by Lost Jarv

    bannning it. <P>Seriously, I smoke a fraction of what I used to now I can't smoke in my office or in the pub. It's draconian but it does work (doesn't stop me hating it or resenting it) <P>I also drink too much alcohol and coffee. With nicotine it keeps me functioning.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:40 a.m. CST

    aargh

    by Lost Jarv

    We've dropped below the nerd thread.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:41 a.m. CST

    I don't want to live to 100 anyway

    by Lost Jarv

    So I gladly sacrifice those years to nicotine. And knock another 10 off for other lifestyle failings. <P>I am in good shape though, so that does mitigate it a bit.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:50 a.m. CST

    my great grandfather

    by Kloipy

    smoked a pack a day all his life and lived to 98, he also lost any eye when a screwdriver went in it and popped it out. He was a crazy old man

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:51 a.m. CST

    The older years of pissing yourself and

    by Lost Jarv

    the rest of it don't sound like a lot of fun

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    all we have to look forward to is Werther's Originals

    by Kloipy

    and years of day time tv

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:58 a.m. CST

    and bowjobs from women with parkinsons

    by Lost Jarv

    actually, maybe that one isn't too bad. Especially if they take their teeth out.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 9:59 a.m. CST

    what the fuck is a bowjob

    by Lost Jarv

    Clearly I meant Blowjob. <P>I think the Trainspotting Opening is apropos: <P>"Spending the end of your days pissing yourself in a home, nothing but an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you spawned to replace yourself"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    when I get old I want to retire somewhere nice

    by Kloipy

    and play my guitar on the porch with my artritic fingers and smoke a doob as the sun sets

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:02 a.m. CST

    kloipy and jarv

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Precisely, I don't want to live to see those years where my kids have to wipe my butt. <p> They keep trying to make me do stuff here at work. It's annoying and if they're not careful they're gonna see my pencil collection

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    kloipy you play guitar too?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Holy shit! It's like we were made to be brethren of the church of chang

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:04 a.m. CST

    If I go without coffee

    by Abominable Snowcone

    for more than two hours, people around me start dying

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:10 a.m. CST

    I play guitar and piano

    by Kloipy

    I've played guitar for about 14 years and piano for about 6 altogether. We are bretheren

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:14 a.m. CST

    I picked up guitar in '86

    by Abominable Snowcone

    bass in '90. I wouldn't call myself a pianist, but I know chords 'n shit. Enough where if one of my band-dudes said, "Hey figure this out" I could monkey my way through. These days mostly I'm bass, because that's my part in the band context. At home, I'm still a couch guitar noodler.<p> It's important to be well-rounded in the Church of Chang.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:16 a.m. CST

    nope, I'm musically inept

    by Lost Jarv

    although I did spend the vast majority of my career (before an ill-advised switch to law) working in the music industry.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:18 a.m. CST

    nothing beats couch playing

    by Kloipy

    or my personal favorite, outdoor fall and spring evening playing. Facing out to the forest or a field, plugging in the amp and just fucking losing yourself for awhile

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:20 a.m. CST

    I keep saying I'm going to learn the guitar

    by Lost Jarv

    and then finding out again that I'm totally inept. It's very frustrating, because it is something I want to be able to do. I just suck on every level

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:22 a.m. CST

    We haven't played out in a long time

    by Abominable Snowcone

    but recently we started doing the basement jam thing as often as we can, if not weekly. It's great catharsis. We can pick a key, start a groove, lock into it, and not speak to each other for about thirty minutes. Usually the only thing that stops a groove is a work-related phone call, or if a string breaks or a keyboard gets knocked over. I leave my mind when I play.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:25 a.m. CST

    Jarv and abom

    by Kloipy

    Jarv, it is frustrating at the beginning. Esp if you love music because you want to be able to think that you can just pick it up right away. But it takes a lot of time and a lot of practice. The first year of playing is probably the worst.<br> Abom-I know what you mean man. There is nothing more fun than jamming with your friends. Just creating. I wouldn't ever care if I got famous. I just do it because I love music

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST

    I think my time in the industry and living in Camden

    by Lost Jarv

    has exposed me to so much dreadful guitar playing that I just won't do it if I suck. <P>Seriously, you would not believe some of the tone deaf twats I've had to listen to. They deserve a thorough pencil stabbing and to have their fingers jumped up and down upon by Burt.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:27 a.m. CST

    no, Kloipy, I'm beyond help

    by Lost Jarv

    seriously, I re-a-a-a-lly suck

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:29 a.m. CST

    tone deaf twats

    by Kloipy

    they are everywhere here as well. That's the bad thing, because some of them really think you want to hear their songs about their feelings

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    I remember how awkward it was at first

    by Abominable Snowcone

    because with guitar, you're forcing your fingers into shapes they're not used to. Depending on what kinda guitar you have, and the action (closeness of the strings to the fretboard), it could even hurt to press down on them for too long. But I love pain, so I was cool with it. After a while you just build callouses, which helps me when I fling pencils at shitheels.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Off to lunch

    by Kloipy

    If I don't see ya Jarv, have a good weekend!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:32 a.m. CST

    When I first started out

    by Lost Jarv

    I got the unenviable job of sifting through Demos. I handled them from arrival and the only thing worse than the demos were the letters attached. Some group of fucknuts whose name escapes me (as it does the rest of the industry) put press quotes in their letters. <P>This is ordinarily a good idea, until you look at the quotes and see "They're better than the Beatles" in big font (which would be bad enough, because, let's face it, they aren't) and then the source of the quote being the lead singer's mum. In teeny-tiny font. <P>As if we aren't going to notice.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:34 a.m. CST

    My friends suggested

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I start writing lyrics again, but I kinda brushed them off, saying what's the point? For our long ass jams, no words are needed, and few words would add anything to it. The last song I added words to was a gospel impromptu we did last summer, only cuz we used an organ on it. We called it the "Church of Fine Vagina" and it featured a spoken word interlude wherein a southern baptist preacher (me) lectured on the virtues of the LAHHHRD having sent down vagina, and it was good and righteous

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:37 a.m. CST

    that sounds like an early changian hymn

    by Lost Jarv

    and Abom, never, ever cut a demo- regardless of how good you are. You'll just get ripped off, as they aren't cheap and you can do an OK job yourself.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:38 a.m. CST

    Saying that a rock band

    by Abominable Snowcone

    is better than the Beatles is like saying there's someone more manly than Bruce Campbell. I mean, we all have subjective tastes, and while some people might not be into Beatle music, anyone who knows rock music knows the Beatles pretty much set the standard, synthesizing all that came before and creating a template for what we know today<p> Depending on where you worked, if it was the early 90s, you might have even reviewed one of my demo tapes. Bwahahahahahaha

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:40 a.m. CST

    But we stopped doing demos

    by Abominable Snowcone

    We just did 8 track stuff in basements, and now, some digital, if we bother doing that at all. I record our weekly jams using a cardioid stereo microphone into a Sony MZ-R700 minidisc. It's just a step above recording the ambient room sounds on a boom box. Only it's digital, so I can make CDs right away to give to the other guys to hear how tripped out we were.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:44 a.m. CST

    That's my point Abom

    by Lost Jarv

    It's a waste of time paying a third rate producer to cut your demo. <P>It makes fuck all difference and you may as well do it yourself. <P>I was industry from 2000-2005 ish.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST

    I wasn't in A&R for that long either

    by Lost Jarv

    Thank fuck. I hated it in there. They kept trying to make me give a shit about the music. <P>There's some truly dreadful compilation albums out there that I am to blame for.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    We never did anything professional

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Never cut a studio demo, never on a comp, never even produced our own vanity disc, although we did play out a few times in northeast Ohio from '93-04, in various incarnations. But even by the late 90s we'd all gotten married and gone to grad school and become 'respectable,' and the 'dream' of being Mr. Bon Jovi Rock Star Guys was long over. So now music is more or less like a religion for me, along with Chang

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:53 a.m. CST

    I only mentioned it because I know a few "noodlers"

    by Lost Jarv

    that wanted a vanity disc- so went and got one cut and it sounded like dog eggs. <P>It's one thing recording your jam sessions yourself it's another entirely to pay some cunt by the hour to record them

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:54 a.m. CST

    out of here.

    by Lost Jarv

    See you monday

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:58 a.m. CST

    it's never too late to give props to MILF's....

    by just pillow talk

    That's never something to apologize for Xiphos. <p>It's nice and sunny here Xiphos, it was 10 degrees this morning. <p>Eat it!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 10:59 a.m. CST

    Later Jarv

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Keep the Chang.<p> I can't recall if I saw Lake Placid, Xi. Was that the crocodile movie? I would like to park my banana in her mango tree

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:10 a.m. CST

    it's going to snow tonight too...

    by just pillow talk

    And I have a cough and cold.<p>I win. <p>So did you go see the D-backs yesterday?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:19 a.m. CST

    speaking of cold

    by Kloipy

    it's colder than a brass monkey's balls here. and the wind chill factor is ridiculous

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:22 a.m. CST

    well, one of those two was a decent team....

    by just pillow talk

    The Cubs are always good to see. <p>Man, I can't remember the last time it was 80 here. I think it's supposed to get up to the balmy 50's on Monday.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    our summers are awful

    by Kloipy

    we get the worst humidity. It's like 90 degrees and feels like you can't breathe outside

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:24 a.m. CST

    Cleveland is just another city on Hoth

    by Abominable Snowcone

    It's snowing again here, not bad, but still snow and frigid. Enough to petrify a tauntaun wiener.<p> Nope, I'm not Tom Scholz! I still have a couple underling warciples investigating the sudden death last year of Brad Delp.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    our state motto is retarded

    by Kloipy

    Pennsylvania: Memories last a Lifetime. They spent millions of dollars to change it to that. What fucking memories? Remember that time we went to PA and nothing happened at all? Although we do have Centrailia which is part of the inspiration for Silent Hill as it is an old coal town which still has fires raging beneath the streets

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:26 a.m. CST

    Earth is pretty much

    by Abominable Snowcone

    a shitty place to live, at least in most metropolitan areas now. I'm where I am by accident of birth, more or less. I'd move if I were independently wealthy, which I'm not. Yet.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    Connecticut summers are very hit/miss

    by just pillow talk

    We get some of the same weather you get Kloipy, where it's just unbearable. Those perfect days are so few and far in between...it's like catching a glimpse of a 2for2true posting.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:28 a.m. CST

    I visited Philly PA last year

    by Abominable Snowcone

    for a work convention. Drove out because work paid for the trip, which I more or less used to see all the Rocky sites. That's it. It was hotter then hell there last July. You couldn't walk outside for five minutes without a swath of sweat soaking through the back of your shirt and down into your shorts and greasing your taint. I squeaked everywhere I walked

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    that's the problem Abom

    by Kloipy

    we are just getting so over-populated that the actual beautiful parts of the world are overshadowed by skyscrapers.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:30 a.m. CST

    I hate Philly

    by Kloipy

    I'm about 2 hours from there but I never go, it's such an ugly city except for Old Town

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:31 a.m. CST

    Cleveland skies are grey

    by Abominable Snowcone

    from late September through early April. All told, we get about two weeks' worth of "really nice days" each year. The other 342 days are either uncomfortably warm, or overcast, or frigid cold, or raining, and usually grey. I saw somewhere on the news that it's like the 2nd most stressed out US city. I'm sure we rank high in suicides, so that kind of kicks ass.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:32 a.m. CST

    I went to cancun when I was 18

    by Kloipy

    stayed at a resort with an all inclusive bar. I remember sitting on the beach one day and two girls probably not over 20 with killer bodies, were doing jumping jacks...topless. I understand why they call it paradise

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:34 a.m. CST

    I'd like to move to Rapa Nui

    by Kloipy

    and never do anything other than build Maois all day long

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:35 a.m. CST

    I was trying to play it cool

    by Abominable Snowcone

    like Burt or Bruce, and I went into the slummy parts of Philly, because I wanted to see ALL the Rocky stuff, like Mick's gym and Rocky's apartment, everything. By night and by day. Mick's gym is now like a little convenience store, and across the street J&M Tropical Fish has been closed for years. I'm surpised I didn't get jacked there, it's not a safe place at all. At least, it didn't look or feel very safe. But to have been robbed and killed outside Mick's Gym wouldn't be completely bad. There's worse places to be robbed and killed.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    just last wednesday

    by Kloipy

    some 15 year old kid got shot and killed by someone for throwing a snowball at them.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:36 a.m. CST

    Kloipy...another killer place to see is Rome

    by just pillow talk

    I've never, ever, seen such a high density of beautiful women with great ta-ta's in all my life. I'm not sure if it was just timing or what, but I love Italian women.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    Italian women are beautiful

    by Kloipy

    I'd love to go to Rome and Sardinia. I've been to Europe once, but I need to go back

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    The wife and I went on a cruise

    by Abominable Snowcone

    To St. Maarten and St. Thomas in November. My first cruise, my first real trip outside of US other than Ireland. We went to a beach on St. Maarten's where our section was topless, but the section right next was completely NOOOD, and chicks from there kept walking through. So that was kinda nice, and the beach and weather were great. I will say though, for every great looking topless or NOOOD chick, there were three you wouldn't want to see naked, or worse--old dudes running around in thongs with their saggy asses, or their withered tanned teabags bouncing around. My wife couldn't believe it. But even me, a non-travelled kind of guy, knew it's only a big deal to Americans, because everywhere else their not so damn uptight

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:40 a.m. CST

    could you imagine Rehobeth Beach Nude???

    by Kloipy

    It would be like beached whales everywhere

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Yes, my wife wants to go back to Europe this year...

    by just pillow talk

    It'll be tough with my classes, I'm pushing for September to go as opposed to July (I've gone before, and it's hot!). <p>We are thinking Austria since we've only been to Salzburg for a couple of days.<p>Kloipy, I recommend going to Venice, it's just so beautiful there. It would be so easy to go to Italy every year as opposed to going to some other European country.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:41 a.m. CST

    kloipy did those two

    by Abominable Snowcone

    20something chicks bring you a beer, and then start making out with each other. If so, then yes, you were in paradise

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST

    Ohio might be

    by Abominable Snowcone

    the taint of planet earth

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Pillow and Abom

    by Kloipy

    Yeah, I've always wanted to see Venice as well. I would really like to make it up to Iceland before I die. But I also need to see the Northern Lights as well, so I'm thinking of heading to Alaska one day.<br> Abom-well I was about 10 feet in front of them and they were just giggling and bouncing which for me, at that time, was enough. I was sipping a long island ice tea, and did make it with a chick from india on the trip, so it all worked out

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    Sounds like a vacation to me

    by Abominable Snowcone

    "Ooops! My top fell off! Tee hee hee hee!"<p> "You're sooo pretty! I just love your hair!"<p> "I'm kind of drunk! Can I kiss you!"<p> "Sure! No one will have to know!"(cue slurping, sucking sounds)<p> "Wow! I'm riiilly drunk!"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:50 a.m. CST

    I've been to Florence Xiphos...

    by just pillow talk

    Again, perhaps it was an anomaly, but the time I was in Rome was just unbelievable. <p>Brazil has some hotties as well Xi, though I was only in Alphaville, which is about 40 minutes from Sao Paulo.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    i was so drunk the one night

    by Kloipy

    I keep coming in and out of consciousness and one time I opened my eyes and i was in a club dancing(which I never do unless drunk) with these three chicks and the where like "can you break dance"<br> and I remember saying, "I can break something"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:51 a.m. CST

    Ive been almost nowhere

    by Abominable Snowcone

    But I shall go where Ash or Burt or Tony send me. Wherever I might find my baby elephant, or a shitheel to stomp or a graboid to decimate.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:52 a.m. CST

    and I don't think I'd ever go to Venezuela...

    by just pillow talk

    I've heard too many bad things, being an American an all. Shit, even this dude who's like seven feet tall from our Mexican subsidiary got mugged there.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:53 a.m. CST

    I'd love to go to Nepal someday

    by Kloipy

    just looks like a beautiful region

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:56 a.m. CST

    I really want to go to the Italian riviera

    by just pillow talk

    Now, we've been to St. Thomas, Aruba, Puerto Rico, Cancun...but we prefer Europe. I would also like to go to Australia, I was hoping they would send me there for work, but to no avail.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:57 a.m. CST

    I haven't done any travel in the last 3 years

    by Kloipy

    it really sucks spending all of your life working and then getting a week off a year

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Australia seems like a fun place

    by Kloipy

    the people are awesome as well

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    Thailand is probably the worst place for women

    by Kloipy

    because 3/4 of them have dicks

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:01 p.m. CST

    no shit Kloipy....

    by just pillow talk

    Throw having a kid in the mix, and you get no vacations. The last time I went anywhere was almost two years ago, first to Brazil for work, and then flew out to meet my wife in Munich because of her work. <p>I must say I loved their gigantic beers/beer gardens. Then we took the train up to Salzburg. I would like to go see Vienna.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:03 p.m. CST

    well, it was for pussy Xiphos...

    by just pillow talk

    Since when the hell do we ever think straight????

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:06 p.m. CST

    Just went out

    by Abominable Snowcone

    for half a smoke. The weather sucks. It's a good bet the Empire knows I'm here.<p> I'd like to visit Perfection, Nevada.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:14 p.m. CST

    who wouldn't want to visit Perfection, Nevada???

    by Kloipy

    Seriously if I went there I'd probably be kicked out for asking everyone where either Burt of Graboids are

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:15 p.m. CST

    Aint that the truth Pillow

    by Kloipy

    we've all done something stupid in pursuit of pussy

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    see ya Xi

    by Kloipy

    enjoy the game and the hotties

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:20 p.m. CST

    later Xi

    by just pillow talk

    I can't wait to start going to a few Met games this year myself.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:21 p.m. CST

    yay I can't wait to go to a Senator's game...

    by Kloipy

    oh yeah the senators SUCK

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:23 p.m. CST

    See ya Xiphos

    by Abominable Snowcone

    To Chang be 2true

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    I gonna make a 'Bucket List'

    by Kloipy

    starring Jack Lemon's ghost and Morgan Freeman

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:44 p.m. CST

    I can't wait til 5pm

    by Kloipy

    I need to get the fuck out of this office, I'm about to go 2true on some folk

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:47 p.m. CST

    it seems time is standing still this afternoon

    by just pillow talk

    I'm gonna stab Father time in the mouth.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:49 p.m. CST

    I'm gonna fill up father time's hourglass

    by Kloipy

    with asparagus piss, so he has to carry it around for all eternity, that old asshole

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:51 p.m. CST

    I'm gonna have Steven Seagal come over

    by just pillow talk

    and kick him in the balls eleven times.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 12:53 p.m. CST

    11 times ball kicks

    by Kloipy

    and then throw him down the stairs. That's some cold shit to do to someone

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    and yet still short of a dozen...

    by just pillow talk

    some sort of compassion involved I think...

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1 p.m. CST

    I'm gonna drop two weight classes

    by Abominable Snowcone

    so I can wrestle Brian Shute, who I will defeat with a flaming leg kick to the crotch

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:08 p.m. CST

    FLK to the crotch, only 1 is needed

    by Kloipy

    that's enough to drop Kchorn the elephants, even though you would never kick an elephant, they don't forget shit

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:19 p.m. CST

    Here's a useless

    by Abominable Snowcone

    but interesting piece of information. At 49, Kevin Bacon is three years older than Larry Fishburne. I can't believe that Val, the original graboid killer, will be 50 this summer. And what have I done with my life? Sigh...<p> After Tremors 5 and the ensuing massive success, I'm thinking of doing a Tremors offshoot where Bacon returns not as Val, but as the teen he played in Footloose, and he'll dance on graboids to the sounds of Kenny Loggins and Sammy Hagar. It'll be AWESOME

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:23 p.m. CST

    that's sounds fucking awesom Abom

    by Kloipy

    I'd watch it

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:37 p.m. CST

    damn work

    by Kloipy

    trying to make me busy

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:40 p.m. CST

    It's quiet here now at the office

    by Abominable Snowcone

    You could hear a flaming leg "whoosh" walking down the hall. That is, if I felt inclined to get off my ass and walk around, which I don't right now

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:45 p.m. CST

    perfect time to yell "SHITHEEL"

    by just pillow talk

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:50 p.m. CST

    WHERE IS MY BABY ELEPHANT!!

    by Abominable Snowcone

    You shot my FATHER! Now you will PAY!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:51 p.m. CST

    Nothing says "you're special to me"

    by Abominable Snowcone

    like the gift of a Tremors DVD Attack Pack and a box of candy from www.ferrarapan.com makers of the MANLY CANDLY Flaming Atomic Fireballs

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:53 p.m. CST

    I meant "candy"

    by Abominable Snowcone

    I don't know what candly is. This weekend I think the kids and I will order pizza and watch Cannibal Holocaust, then we'll club some baby seals and drive down the street throwing rocks at homeless people

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:55 p.m. CST

    your kids will love the turtle mutilation scene

    by Kloipy

    it's delicious and informative hahaha

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    see, we do the reverse

    by just pillow talk

    we throw rocks at seals and club homeless people.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 1:58 p.m. CST

    I club seals with homeless people

    by Kloipy

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2 p.m. CST

    it's important to make them feel "involved"

    by just pillow talk

    Seals are the second biggest menace to society.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:05 p.m. CST

    there should be a game

    by Kloipy

    where you launch homeless people with a giant sling shot out into the frozen tundra and you get points for how many seal pups they crush. but the seal pups have to die in order for it to count

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:08 p.m. CST

    they would have to wear different color shirts

    by just pillow talk

    so that each team know which homeless person was theirs. I also think we can substitute homeless people with Congress and panda bears for seals.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:11 p.m. CST

    and you would get a penalty

    by Kloipy

    if a seal got killed by a flying possum, because only score points by the homeless killing them

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:12 p.m. CST

    Ever play Old People Park Bench?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    You go to the local park (when it's nice out) and fling toucans at them that have their wings clipped. Or exotic frogs. And once you're out of (heh heh) ammo, you just wail on the elderly with FLKs and double-knee blasts. Then you roundhouse kick all the lamps in the park

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    Ever play Highway Overpass?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    You fling baby koalas down on cars on the interstate

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:13 p.m. CST

    we played 'Let's Scare Grandma to death!'

    by Kloipy

    where you drive by old people on the street, or climbing stairs, and yell as loud as you can at them and watch them fall over of a heart attack

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:15 p.m. CST

    Ever play Cruel Charity Case?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    You make like some local charity organization and pass out box lunches to the homeless living under bridges and stuff. Only the box lunches consist of one kitten and a fork

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    Oh yeah, we used to play that

    by Abominable Snowcone

    only we called it "HEY GRANDPA!!"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:16 p.m. CST

    or 'Friday Night Paraplegic Fights"

    by Kloipy

    they are fighting for their lives after you push them down a hill

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:17 p.m. CST

    Ever play Pound Puppies?

    by Abominable Snowcone

    All you need is a fresh litter of puppies, breed doesn't matter, and one hammer per player.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:19 p.m. CST

    or "Let's Switch Mommy's birth control with tic tacs"

    by Kloipy

    Oops here comes a new baby!

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    Yeah we played that too

    by Abominable Snowcone

    only it was called "Pinata People." And at the end, everyone gets a blue ribbon because EVERYONE is a WINNER. EVERYONE is SPE-SHULL

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:20 p.m. CST

    or "Blind Highway Races"

    by Kloipy

    watch them fail before they hit the median

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:22 p.m. CST

    My daughter once said

    by Abominable Snowcone

    "I'd really love to have a baby sister!"<p> "And I said, wherever your real daddy is now, he probably had another little girl. So you probably DO have a sister somewhere. Now be quiet, Burt is talking"<p> Then my wife hits me

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:23 p.m. CST

    Or "Abandoned Fridge Detective"

    by Kloipy

    how long can you hold your breath?

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:24 p.m. CST

    Ever play

    by Abominable Snowcone

    Narcoleptic Exhausted Residency Med Student Race Car Driver? Saving lives will kill you

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:26 p.m. CST

    We used to open manhole covers

    by Abominable Snowcone

    and make the geeky kids play "Sewer Monster Investigator."<p> "There's no monster down there," they'd insist.<p> "Sure there is. I deposited it in my toilet last night. Now get in there"

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:27 p.m. CST

    Bronco Billy's Wild West Show

    by Abominable Snowcone

    we'd make kids lay spread-eagle on the lawn and throw jarts at them.

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST

    Avalanche Mountain Fun Time Zone

    by Kloipy

    bring your airhorn to the nearest ski slope, watch them 'slolom'

  • Feb. 29, 2008, 2:41 p.m. CST

    did you hear about that real game the played

    by Kloipy

    on a radio show? It was called Hold you Wee for a Wii. you had to hold off on peeing the longest to win a Wii. The woman who won ruptured her bladder and died from toxic shock. Game Over

  • March 1, 2008, 7:06 a.m. CST

    Iron Man

    by Sparhawk38

    "Iron Man, Iron Man...does whatever "Fe" can..." Iron Man will be melted down into one iron ring to rule them all. I r o n m a n