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Don Coscarelli's new movie will be...

Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. No, it's not BUBBA NOSFERATU, unfortunately, but Don Coscarelli just got the rights to the cult novel by David Wong called JOHN DIES AT THE END.

From the press release:

The story details the adventures of two Midwest slackers who find themselves fighting inter-dimensional evil, a task for which they are profoundly unqualified: “It's a drug that promises an out-of-body experience with each hit. On the street they call it Soy Sauce, and users drift across time and dimensions. But some who come back are no longer human. Suddenly a silent otherworldly invasion is underway, and mankind needs a hero. What it gets instead is John and David, a pair of college dropouts who can barely hold down jobs. Can these two stop the oncoming horror in time to save humanity? No. No, they can't.” "I was greatly impressed by David Wong's crazed originality and impressive imagination," revealed Coscarelli. "He's like a mash-up of Douglass Adams and Stephen King, both smart and goofy, scary and funny -- it really spoke to me. JDatE is as addictive as the 'Soy Sauce' street drug that kicks the plot into gear."

Sounds nice and fucked up. On top of being one of the nicest people in the business, Don's also one of the most talented. I can't wait to see his next flick! And in the meantime, if you'd like to read David Wong's novel, you can do so online. For free. Right now. It's compulsively readable, and well worth your time if you like the synopsis above.


Readers Talkback
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  • Feb. 21, 2008, 3:19 a.m. CST

    FIRST!!

    by Hieronimus

    and that´s it

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 3:20 a.m. CST

    Phantasma V

    by CuervoJones

    Just finish the saga, Don!

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 3:38 a.m. CST

    brilliant title and blurb...

    by Lujho

    ... "No. No, they can't". I never saw bubba ho tep but this sounds pretty funny, I'll probably check it out.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 3:55 a.m. CST

    Yeah for Wong

    by miggymigs

    been a fan of his for a long time. Really glad this is goin for him. If it's anything like bubba ho tep, it will be a fuckin classic.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 4:05 a.m. CST

    I need Phantasm closure

    by hktelemacher

    Not closure per se, because that just wouldn't be Phantasm, but you know what I mean.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 4:29 a.m. CST

    Maybe Bruce Campbell will star.

    by Mike_D

    sweet.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 4:57 a.m. CST

    Bruce Campbell, I kinda doubt it...

    by Sledge Hammer

    Word is that they had a little bit of a falling out when Campbell decided that he didn't want to come back and play Elvis again in Coscarelli's Bubba Ho-Tep follow up, and funding consequently fell through on the project.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 5:24 a.m. CST

    Sweet and Sour's

    by FILMFUNK

    more addictive!

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 6:31 a.m. CST

    Coscarelli's perfect for this.

    by Knuckleduster

    Hope he gets a decent budget and (please, God) a wide release.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 6:39 a.m. CST

    This WILL be awesome.

    by FatPaul

    Here's hoping that KNB does the effects and that Reggie Bannister plays the ghost cop with the evil flying mustache.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 6:53 a.m. CST

    PIck of the century.

    by fireclown

    Don C. is the right guy for this. It needs to be done with unknowns, but it will be fanfuckingtastic. Wong is the man. There's a bunch of needless stuff in JDATE, but with some editing, it will be da bomb.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:04 a.m. CST

    Who the fuck's Don Coscarelli????

    by Executor

    OK, now I know after looking him up on IMDB. The Phantasm movies. A Beastmaster TV movie. Bubba Ho-Tep, which I remember getting a lot geek love on here but not making a dent in the world at large.<p> Are we anxiously awaiting Don Coscarelli's next movie?? Is this big news??

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:25 a.m. CST

    Spoiler!!!

    by kevinwillis.net

    John doesn't actually die in the end. Loved the book. It's the only entire book I've ever read online.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Executor

    by Knuckleduster

    Yes, actually. It is big news, depending on who you are and your taste in cinema.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    No

    by Sailor Rip

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:39 a.m. CST

    Bah!

    by Sailor Rip

    No Phantasm V = me not care.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:47 a.m. CST

    slackers fighting interdimensional evil?..

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    sounds a bit like "Phantasm" - one of my favorite movies

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:50 a.m. CST

    id prefer to see a "Phantasm" with a 20 mil budget

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    pull out all the stops - lets finally see the tall man's planet up close

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:51 a.m. CST

    Aw, crap...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...I love Coscarelli's stuff and this sounds like a cool idea, but I want my Phantasm 5, dammit! Angus Scrimm ain't getting any younger and Reggie Bannister GOTTA EAT! <p> Actually, I'd prefer a crossover, Evil Phantasm Dead, with Ash teaming up with Reggie to kick deadite and Tall Man ass. It could effectively end both series. In a good way.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    On a side note...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...Phantasm OblIVion actually gets better with each viewing. It's amazing what Coscarelli did with a tiny budget and leftover snippets from the original Phantasm. The ending, especially, is very creepy and somewhat melancholy. Great stuff.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 7:57 a.m. CST

    The Anchor Bay UK...

    by DocPazuzu

    ...Phantasm DVD set is fucking awesome. I didn't go for the silver sphere packaging, only the box set. Great extras, although the doc on the Phantasm fans who went into the undertaking business because of the film is a bit sad and weird.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 8:12 a.m. CST

    "JDatE is as addictive as the 'Soy Sauce'"

    by SkinJob69

    Wait, isn't JDate an online dating service for Jewish people?<p> Still, John Dies at the End= Great Title. Gotta read the book now.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 8:16 a.m. CST

    The guy on the right looks like a young Joe Piscopo.

    by TORTURE PWN1

    Can he be in it? DEAD HEAT, people. DEAD fucking HEAT!

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 8:30 a.m. CST

    Executor

    by Sith Witch

    It wasn't "some Beastmaster TV movie". It was THE original theatrical Beastmaster film that he directed. All that TV dreck came much later, by far less-talented people...

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 8:58 a.m. CST

    sounds like something Christopher Moore would write

    by Jarek

    And that's a good thing. When the hell is somebody going to make a Christopher Moore movie anyway? So many of his books would make cool/hilarious flicks.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 9:27 a.m. CST

    Best Title Ever

    by PippinTheJedi

    I might even read the book first. Awesome.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Creepy

    by Forsakyn

    I agree with your overall reviews on his work, although I think it's a bit strange to be "tired" of him - if he was pumping out films all the time then yeah, I can understand that reaction. But honestly he doesn't make that many films (as you pointed out). I think it'll be interesting to see how he adapts this book.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 11:09 a.m. CST

    Eat The Dog Dick Of Anubis

    by FatherMcGruderKicksAssForTheLord

    Ho-Tep haters. <p> That said, I look forward to this enthusiastically.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 11:21 a.m. CST

    Also,

    by FatherMcGruderKicksAssForTheLord

    Glad somebody already busted Executor's balls on the Beastmaster thing ... fucking hell, at least TRY to get your shit together before you post.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 11:29 a.m. CST

    This books is supposed to kick all kinds of ass

    by DKT

    One recent review I read of it said something disturbing happens every other page. It's supposed to be pretty dark, too, so I'm not betting on Bruce Campbell.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    JDatE sounds like a Japanese Online Dating Service...

    by micturatingbenjamin

    Just saying.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 12:18 p.m. CST

    Supernatural: The Movie

    by Ex-Teenager

    Don't know whether this novel or the Supernatural series came first but the basic premise sounds pretty similar. Hopefully Coscarelli will set a better tone, the characters on Supernatural rarely seemed intimidated or scared by the situations they find themselves in which is why I never made it past the first season. Is that show even on the air anymore?

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 12:24 p.m. CST

    Don Coscarelli

    by skimn

    is like the horror B-movie Terrence Malick. He makes one cult classic in the '70s and has been riding it since..although Beastmaster lives in a galaxy of cheese all its own...And why does this sound just like Reaper??

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Bubba Ho Tep

    by Nice Marmot

    Most forced, wannabe Fanboy "Cult" film ever. EVER. Watch some Edgar Wright films, Don. See how it's done.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    Micturatingbenjamin: Actually, it's a Jewish online dating servi

    by FatPaul

    The name is a coincidence, but try typing JDate.com into your browser.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Yeah...

    by Tourist

    ...Great title. Sounds interesting. I'm gonna go read it for free.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 1:30 p.m. CST

    My friends met on J-Date...

    by Fawst

    They're married now, and perfectly happy together. He jokes that it's really a plot to keep wealthy Jews wealthy by pairing up men and women of equal financial standing, thus increasing their value, and promoting the "Way of the Jew," as he likes to call it. Of course, this is the same kid that will rip a dollar bill out of your hand when you try to give it to someone else, and the someone else doesn't take it. As far as this book goes, it sounds pretty cool. The fact that Don is handling it makes it cooler. I'll have to check this out. I mean, it's fuckin free online, so... no excuse, really.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 1:50 p.m. CST

    This'll be the one.

    by bswise

    Great book, this seems like a perfect match, and an opportunity for Coscarelli to up his cred. The book's huge, so you know they won't be skimping on this. <Br> <Br> <Br> Say what you will about Bubba Ho Tep, but Bruce Campbell's take on Elvis is the best, or at least in the top three, along with Nick and Kurt's.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 2:18 p.m. CST

    You know...

    by Tourist

    ...I'd like to see this material with a good director. Or at least some B list stars, or something. But when I stopped to think about it, Coscarelli was one of only two guys who actually made a GOOD entry into the masters of horror series. It was really good actually, for a TV episode, so more power to him. Hope this works out really well.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 2:50 p.m. CST

    It will be total crap

    by Bass Bastardson

    Same as every other Coscarelli movie. seriously, this guy has been making Boll level shit for 30 years and you guys just lap it up.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Damn funny stuff...

    by spud mcspud

    I liked it. Could be a kick-ass movie.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 4:31 p.m. CST

    Old news

    by JimCurry

    very.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 4:50 p.m. CST

    The book is terrible. The real horror is the writing

    by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World

    It's like Stephen King fan fiction. The first chapter is entertaining though, and there's a part with a bunch of chair puns that was funny and that was it, really.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 4:54 p.m. CST

    Great Book

    by NSNick

    All I can hope is that he doesn't deviate from the surrealism and humor in the book. And that he includes the best line ever.

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 5:09 p.m. CST

    sounds a little like "Vurt" by Noon

    by BigTexas42

    anyone read them both and care to comment?

  • Feb. 21, 2008, 11:29 p.m. CST

    Fuck Bruce Campbell. Hail Coscarelli!

    by Quake II

    Campbell...Biggest celebrity prick I ever met. Coscarelli...One of the coolest guys I've ever met. Those two couldn't be more different. Don is thankful for his fans, while Bruce mocks HIS. Do you guys really think that that 1 note hack Campbell is actually a good actor? Sam Raimi HANDED that guy his career. Evil Dead 2 was 20 fucking years ago! The guy's done nothing of value since! Man With The Screaming Brain? Spider-Man cameos? Brisco County? Sci-Fi network movies? Xena? All shit. Like not even fun shit. Just disposable garbage media. The fanboy worship of this douchebag has got to end. He HATES you and wishes he didn't have to sign your shit and converse with you at conventions. You're all a paycheck to him. Nothing more.

  • Feb. 22, 2008, 12:07 a.m. CST

    great fucking title

    by slappy jones

    that is all

  • Feb. 22, 2008, 12:35 a.m. CST

    sounds perfect for him

    by ClockWorker

    PHANTASM II rocked and I even got love for THE BEASTMASTER. BUBBA HO-TEP had some great scenes I was looking foward to the next one but this sounds good too.

  • Feb. 22, 2008, 1:07 a.m. CST

    good point there Quake

    by ClockWorker

    Campbell made a big mistake not coming back for the BUBBA sequel. Raimi went on to do some great mainstream films where Campbell just did nothing. And Creepy Thin Man it's a sad truth, mainstream horror will never be what it used to be but and the genre is drowning in the independent world but I still believe it can come back.

  • Feb. 22, 2008, 7:33 a.m. CST

    will we ever get a "phantasm 2" dvd?

    by JimmyJoe RedSky

    i have "1" - dont care much for "3" or "4" - i want "2"

  • Feb. 25, 2008, 2:01 p.m. CST

    JDatE

    by rxse7en

    After reading this, I was able to see Campbell as Falconer in the second book. Minor roll only. Anyone thought of actors for John and David? B

  • July 16, 2008, 2:04 p.m. CST

    This is one of those rare books

    by JRcanReid

    that both pummels and is also phenom at the same time. Suck it biots.

  • Sept. 10, 2008, 3:53 p.m. CST

    Any updates...

    by rxse7en

    on the movie?

  • Sept. 14, 2008, 5:05 a.m. CST

    What line are you talking about?

    by catlettuce4

    I've gotta know your opinion now that you've said it NSNick; What is the best line in the book?

  • Sept. 17, 2008, 7:27 p.m. CST

    catlettuce4

    by rxse7en

    I would say, "This door cannot be opened". When Dave tries to get out of the basement and the doorknob has turned into a flaccid penis.

  • Aug. 12, 2009, 9:10 a.m. CST

    Anything...

    by rxse7en

    new on this?

  • Dec. 29, 2009, 2:42 a.m. CST

    just got through reading the book...

    by The_Crimson_King

    it's fucking awesome, I can not wait for the movie and more from David Wong

  • June 2, 2010, 12:15 p.m. CST

    How about…

    by rxse7en

    …now?

  • June 8, 2010, 1:44 a.m. CST

    Yes please

    by kurtisaurus

    Just finished the book tonight. For some reason I kept picturing Zach Galifianakis as John whenever he would throw out one of his one-liners. Zach's age is all wrong though I suppose. Anyway, the book was all kinds of awesome, it very much is like if Douglas Adams came back from the grave to pen an absurdist horror novel.

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