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BERLIN FILM FEST! Mastidon’s Seen THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL! Johansson! Portman! Bana! Oh, My!
Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.
This does not look like my cup of tea. But I’d like to be wrong. I find a mediocre period piece to be more painful than, say, a mediocre action film. There’s just something about the dress-up phoniness of one of these when they don’t work.
It’s encouraging to hear from Mastidon that this one is something special. I look forward to checking it out at the end of the month. For now, here’s Mastidon’s take on it:
THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL
Directed by: Justin Chadwick
Starring: Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Kristin Scott Thomas, and Eric Bana
Release Dates: US - February 29th, UK - March 7th
4 Stars out of 5
First let me say, on paper this seemed like the kind of movie I usually hate - a pretentious historical piece with over-the-top acting and a boring storyline. Luckily, this film is neither pretentious, nor boring and I must admit I enjoyed it thoroughly. Based on the book of the same name, the film tells the little known story of the mother of Elizabeth I and her sister. Another name for this film could have easily been Elizabeth The Prequel as that is exactly what it is.
***SPOILERS***
Set during the rein of Henry VIII (Eric Bana), the king is desperate to have a male heir. His wife the queen, Catherine of Aragon, has only given birth to a daughter and several other still-born children. The king's advisors see an opportunity to gain power by giving the king a mistress in the form of Anne Boleyn (Natalie Portman). Anne's younger sister Mary (Scarlett Johansson) had just married a local merchant set for a quite and uneventful life. When the king comes to the Boleyn manor, he immediately falls for Anne until getting hurt while on a hunting expedition. Mary nurses the king back to health and the king immediately falls for her. Ordered to the royal court, she unwillingly becomes the king's mistress. Her husband gets sent away so the king can have her to himself. Mary deeply falls in love with the king.
Anne secretly marries a man who is betrothed to another woman. As punishment, her father sends her to France. Before leaving, Anne's mother (Kristin Scott Thomas) tells her to learn everything she can about the manipulation of men from the French queen. She stays in France for several months until Mary gets pregnant with the king's bastard child. Fearing the loss of power, Anne's father summons Anne to return to become the king's mistress. Once back, Anne wants nothing to do with becoming a mistress but instead desires to be queen. By denying her affections to Henry, she drives him insane with lust. She convinces the king to never speak to Mary again and to have her and his male bastard son sent away. She also convinces him to have his 24 year marriage to Catherine of Aragon annulled. In order to do this, Henry had to split all ties with the Catholic church and to form a new church, The Church of England. This one act forever changed the country to what it is today. Anne then marries Henry after he rapes her. She gives birth to a daughter, Elizabeth. She gets pregnant a second time only to have a miscarriage of a son. Out of desperation, she asks her bother to try and impregnate her, but he refuses. The word gets around the royal court that Anne had sex with her brother. They are both ordered to be executed. Despite Mary's efforts, Anne is beheaded in public. Elizabeth then is raised by Mary..
***END SPOILERS****
There have been a few complaints on this film that it's not realistic enough, as this period in time was very dirty and much harsher than what was depicted in the film. And that in its climatic scene, it does not show all of the gore of the main event instead of cutting away. For me, neither mattered as this is a story about sibling rivalry and the manipulations of people and how that plays out in the day-to-day of royal life.
This is Justin Chadwick's first feature having only directed shorts previously. He does a great job especially for his first time out with an A list cast. Light-years better than FIREFLIES IN THE GARDEN, which was the other major film by a first-time director with an A list cast that I saw in Berlin. Definitely don't judge this movie by its poster. Beautifully shot with great close-ups to view the emotion and intensity, this is a story that lives on the strong performances of the actors together with great directing. The film certainly qualifies as a great date movie with a bit of education thrown in. Take your spouse and have a wonderful night out.
Ciao for now,
-Mastidon
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+ Expand All
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Don't make them ride the Midnight Meat Train. The Sushi Subway is quicker.
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I'd be happy with either's funbags on the big screen
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I didn't read, but I assume she gets beheaded after 1000 days. At least that's what the movie with Genevieve Bujold told me.
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Not a huge stretch, but their age/appearance don't match the parts.
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Static cinematography and miscasting all around. According to this and THE TUDORS, Henry VIII is now considered a ripped stud instead of the fat fuck he really was. And who the fuck ever thought Natalie Portman looked like a 16th Century noble woman?! The only person who looks like what you'd find in a painting from the period is Johansson, and she just looks like the same no-eyebrow bitch from GIRL WITH A PEARL NECKLACE.
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I knew people would start saying Bana's not fat enough! Well, get off thou high horses - the Boleyn stuff was quite early on in his reign, when he was still a young, physical man (and his suit of armour in the Tower of London proves it). He didn't balloon up until a couple of wives later. Physically, Bana is probably about right - the young Henry was supposed to be imposing, muscular and handsome. That guy from the Tudors, however, is all wrong - looks like I could snap him like a twig over my knee, and I'm just a small lady.
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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, that movie blew.
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I'd definitely take Portman. Her stripper scene in Closer haunts my every waking moment.
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period pieces are probably the wrong place to look.
Just out of curiosity, are there any smart people on these talkbacks? -
just sexually frustrated ones.
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Feb 19, 2008 10:13:10 AM CST
We have a serious film talking about the Royal Monarchy...
by cpt kirks 2pay
... and all you low life perverts can talk about is such classy and royal actors like Scarlett Johanson and Natalie Portman having sex with each other. Go into a corner and have a little think, people. You shouldn't even be allowed in here if you can't discuss film, history and vitality and survival but instead just make masturbatory incestial comments like you do right now. Why oh why did these vermin talkbackers ever appear here, Harry? It makes me want to send my movie on set stories and reviews into this place more often, just so I can become an admin here and ban all of you people. You're just so infantile. Why don't you log into the Zone and do that stuff, let me and some other film experts and scholars discuss film properly?
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Check out a clip of their interview from the TODAY show last week online. Scarlett Johanson is staring Natalie when she talks like she's got a crush on her! It's funny.
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Also, Woody's new movie features a lesbo scene between Scarlett and Penelope. True. And now let's all get back to in-depth discussion of film.
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get naked? Seriously. I need to know.
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Feb 19, 2008 11:04:50 AM CST
It's pretty sad when History needs a *Spoiler* warning
by imfixingtodie
Just sayin'. And in response to Braddock, young Henry was in fact quite virile and fit. There's a great exhibit in England showing his three eras or personal armor. It's definetly an Orson Welles or Marlon Brando situation. As for Ginger? Yeah. Elizabeth too, but we don't like to talk about that.
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AGreed, but keep in mind that 50% of Americans don't know where the UK is so I doubt very much they know its history hence the warning.
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Neither happen in this film. It's a date movie, not a male fantasy flick.
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For reiterating my earlier post! The armour is in the Tower of London. Check it out:
Thin Henry: http://tiny.cc/WrtZ4
Fat Henry:
http://tiny.cc/imVUQ
(Hope the links work)
So Bana is a good choice. And let me just say, as a lady, all you blokes have made my eyes bleed today with your depravity! Bad! Although some of my thoughts about Eric Bana aren't really fit for public airing....yum. -
Young, virile Robert Shaw in A Man for All Seasons or doughy fat fuck Charles Laughton?
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Feb 19, 2008 12:18:28 PM CST
Nakedness and Lesbianism - "Neither happen in this film."
by blanket-man
...and there goes any interest I could have ever had in this film.
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Big surprise.
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Yeah, Henry was a notably strong and athletic man until an injury put paid to that and he got fat.
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I too really liked the cast and subject matter but thought it was incredibly dull and poorly done. It never felt like history. Only ever like a soap opera. If you're curious, my review is below.
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/34382
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Yeah, they have to follow basic everyday rules, but they're movies.
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I move that the next person who does a headline riff on "Lions, Tigers, and Bears... Oh My!" should have their genitals fed to them. I know you have three items in a series. Just please resist that tempting urge to add "Oh My!" It's not funny. It's not clever. It's only been done several million times. And oh my god I can't believe I have nothing better to do than to post this. Wow. I've got to get my life together.
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Seriously, the girl can't emote worth crap.
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...Meh. I honestly don't think either is anymore than a decent face..and even Portman can't pull that off...come to think of it neither can Scarlett. And they couldn't have come up with a BETTER title!?!
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Portman is 26, Johannson is 23, so though they don't like much alike, it does make sense for Portman to be the older sister.
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blocking the damn view??!
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Do you know what site you're on? If all that was going on in Talkbacks was serious discussions about film, story and acting, you'd have 50 posts at the most. So kindly STFU as obviously you abhor Natalie's sweet delicious vagina.
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I'm in total agreement about the frickin' 'oh my' stuff. I can't explain why, but it irritates the living f*ck out of me! Rarrr!!
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Most overrated starlet ever.
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If someone ever makes a movie of Garth Ennis' "The Boys," Natalie Portman should play Little Nina.
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Did they run out of actors in England? Are there any Brits in that movie?
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...you guys have no idea who you are dealing with.
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It will be gone in a week.
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WTF?! You guys are joking?! What do you think a TB on a movie site is for? To talk about the movie in questioN!!! This is not a porn forum MEN! This is not for you all to talk about sex or incest - incest WHICH IS ILLEGAL AND WILL HAVE YOU ARRESTED!!! Especially if you talk about it so much! This place is monitored you idiots!!! You can get done for that!! You must cease all this shit you are talking about here! This place IS for in dpeth movie discussion!! You CAN achieve it here people!! If you just TRIED!! For the love of God man! Life is short!! Please use this place NOT to waste it even more and talk about films in a more interesting manner which I KNOW you're all capable of!! Make this place something to be proud of more - by making posts which YOU are proud of more! Next thing you'll be talking about bestiality in the Ice Age 3 thread or screwing inate objects in the Wall*y thread. Don't become like the Zone!! This place can be so much better!!! I'M NOT TRYING TO CONJUR UP SOME CHEAP FIGHTS PEOPLE - I'm trying to help you.
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Sigh. Too bad such immense beauty is wasted on such vapid, talentless beeyotches. Seriously. Why are these chicks taken so seriously as "thespians" when they really ought to be in the same category as someone like Alba- you know, cute, dumb, mediocre. No one's comparing poor Alba to Hepburn or Monroe or Streep, but ScarNat apparently merit this kind of serious consideration? It's hard to even enjoy their smoldering hotness because their personalities are so gratingly smug and superior. They both seem like such spoilt "daddy-buys-me-whatever-I-want" little Upper West Side JAPS. By the way I'm allowed to say that because I'm Jewish.
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"Any site that recommends you buy an exploitation movie of naked German school girls or posts reviews using the phrase "chocolate-covered pussy juice" isn't the place to discuss movies like they're high art." Well then this site is lost. I think I will talk to the domain owners and have this site closed down. I'll speak with some of the admins here. I met 2 of them when they came over to England and Quint was here 2 days ago. Even they said they wanted to close the TB and the main site down.
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Portman's face + Johansson's tits + Ellen Page personality = Perfect woman.
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Why not the rest of Ellen Page? She's beautiful! DAMN YOU PEOPLE!! You will NOT get me talking about just girls here!!!!! At least try to keep to what makes them favoured actresses please!
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Why not the rest of Ellen Page? She's beautiful! DAMN YOU PEOPLE!! You will NOT get me talking about just girls here!!!!! At least try to keep to what makes them favoured actresses please!
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That was a question raised in a previous TB that I think could have been considered in greater depth.
Benicio Del Toro? Collin Ferrel? Moby?
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Not about the need to inject a false sense of profundity into TB's, but about how adorable Ellen Page is. I probably should have made it clearer that I really wasn't intending to imply that Page isn't pretty, it was really more just about emphasizing the only two agreeable qualities of the other two- Portman's face, Johansson's boobies. But yer right. I hereby revise my statement. I'll take Ellen Page, full stop. Forget the other two twits. Well, jeez, I guess if Johansson's tits INSISTED on joining in, I suppose we could somehow manage to make room for the four of us....
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fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap ahhhhhh.
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way to steer the masturbation in Ellen Page's direction.
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I didn't know that.
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No wonder you're so uptight Kirks2pay. You should try banging your sister once in a while.
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are in the U.S. starring in TV shows. Fastest growing profession in the entertainment industry is Dialect Coach.
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I read the book and can definitely see Empress Natalie as the Queen of England, hopefully chemistry and nudity will be the topper to this period piece.
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I'd appreciate it if you people left Ellen Page alone. I WILL defend her.
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Feb 20, 2008 10:42:58 PM CST
Wait about 8 months: Woody Allen will bring you lesbians!
by mrmysteryguest
ScarJo and PenCruz will have sex and later double team JavBar, friendo!
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