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Moriarty’s Got Some HD International INDY 4 Trailer Links For You!
Hey, everyone. “Moriarty” here.
I’m amazed how angry people are at me for not thinking the INDY 4 trailer is the greatest thing since ever. My problems are more with the way it’s cut than anything, folks. I’m still hoping with fingers crossed that INDY 4 kicks all sorts of ass and is a ridiculous good time at the theater in May. I just think the pacing in the trailer is strange, and there’s no single shot that wowed me. It looks okay, and I just don’t think “okay” is the message you send when it’s the first film you’ve made with this character in almost 20 years.
But if you loved the trailer, good. That’s cool. I wanted to make sure you have a chance to see the best quality version of it, so I’ve spent a few days hunting down some links that will allow you to download HD quality versions of the uncensored, un-MPAA fucked with trailer.
And, yes, the edits were done because there is an MPAA rule that no gun can be pointed directly at someone in the same frame in a trailer. It’s for no other reason than that. I can’t explain the American flag addition, but that doesn’t really phase me. I just hate being coddled by the ratings board, and if it doesn’t bother you to be treated like an idiot, then by all means, tell me I am overreacting and move on. I’d like to just see the trailer the way it was cut and not have someone “protect” me from the horrors of a fake machine gun pointed at an actor.
Here’s a gold idol sized version of the trailer.
This one’s about the size of Short Round.
Then here comes the freakin’ rolling boulder sized version! Run!
You can right-click-and-save any of those links. Enjoy.
Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles
Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles
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The pacing is odd... still some great footage in the trailer. It feels like Indiana Jones for the most part.
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...Indy just seems so old at times, like an rugged, adventuring Grandpa Simpson.
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Feb 17, 2008 5:16:21 PM CST
I'M I THE ONLY ONE DISSAPOINTED BY THE LACK OF.... OLD SCHOOL!!!
by greigy just wanted to say
Indy and CGI... just isn't right is it... where's all that fantastic in camera action stuff from Raiders... not the Industrial Light and Tragic from Temple and Crusade...
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I predict this. I don't understand why everyone is so happy to have the Disney kid actor in such a big movie.
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The shot where the vehicles crash...that's miniatures.
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It would make more sense to me if it was removed from the international version. They hate us overseas.
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but then I realized that it was just OK. You saying the editing is funky makes complete sense to me now. On a side note, I'm still a little worried about Janusz Kaminski filming this. I don't feel like harping on his same old lighting scheme right
now. I just want it to look like the INDY I've come to know. -
thanks for hunting down the good trailers, I really thought the new trailer was great and it got me super excited to see this, so having a pristine version is a nice thing. How could you not love the first silhouette of Indy with his hat? Man that got me going!
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Those were individual shots not whole action set pieces.... rolla coaster in the mine... zeppelin and plane fiasco from crusade... just lacks that real old fashioned feel from Raiders and it looks like that's the route they've gone down for crystal skulls
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Give it time and let's judge it when the full film comes out.
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Watch the 2nd season of Project Greenlight. The kid cracks me up.
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a little matter of fact, not enough wow factor
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Or not, who knows. It could have very well been some guy chopping it together who changed it....or total mpaa censorship. And although it does cheapen the experience of seeing something you've waited years for, I think it's at least better than the Last Crusade trailer. No voice-over. No "keeping up with the joneses"....shudder.
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If we judged all movies by their trailers, nobody would have seen Fight Club.
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Guns a plenty!
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is the music. The way it ends is really awkward especially after they let it build up so well.
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works for me!
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i just watched Raiders yesterday and Temple of Doom today and those are indeed the same exact shots. Although the picture was much nicer than my DVDs....hmmm, have they already been prepped for the HiDef world?
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...as to not annoy the international audience considering the way america has been seen in the past 7 years or so.
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It has a crappy generic feel ... judging form the trailer .. lucas is a douche.. maybe speilberg can save it?
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Good one, Mori. I do hope this is a return to good form for all concerned.
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I have extremely high hopes for the movie, but I think the trailer was too clean and quippy. What made the original movies so good was the gritty atmosphere mixed with quippy reactions. We only got the reactions in the trailer. Time will tell if this movie satisfies our memories.
But so long as it's better than Temple of Doom, that's all that matters...and that shouldn't be hard. -
Honestly, thanks for the links. And I agree wholeheartedly with the backwards antics of the MPAA. The problem I think a certain percentage of the talkbackers had with what you said about the trailer proper was that you seem to be looking for a perfection that cannot exist.
The original Raiders trailer featured nothing more than clips of the movie - that's all. And that's really all that one can expect from a trailer, let alone a teaser. And this is not the first time that someone from this site reviewed a trailer and blew it off, only to rave about the picture later.
I'm not saying that you'll love or hate Crystal Skull, but I can't quite get behind the whole 'lacklusterness' of the presented trailer.
Please understand, however, that 9 times out of 10, I respect your work. -
The music is off, especially at the end when the Raider's March is really hacked to bits. Also, with having John Williams as composer you have access to tons of great music. Why use music from some other movie/franchise when there is so much from Raiders, Temple, or Last Crusade to use? Also, when Indy says "part time", he gives this awesome "trust me" smile but we see like a second of it.
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Feb 17, 2008 6:03:20 PM CST
Uh, the American flag IS in the international version..
by iamjack'suserid
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Tintin has always been the Beard's biggest influence while shooting Raiders. And this teaser has "TINTIN" written all over it.
I know it's a huge gamble to trust Lucas AGAIN after the prequels. I still have a few doubts myself. But this is looking like a hell of a fun ride guys! The more I see it, the more I'm thinking it's gonna give TDK a run for his money and end up being the second biggest hit of the summer after Nolan's flick. -
typical george lucas cgi crapfest, so he ruines the next franchise, have you also heard of the rumor that jar jar binks has a cameo??
and why does the music stop at the end, than starts again, and than it's over? and why is even every *beep* background cgi?
pleace lucas, use your millions for liposuction but don't ruin this movie. i warn you, i will set the ranch on fire! -
Have you heard his name?
Mutt Williams.
I'm now not considering going. -
I think it's time for them to get with the times..
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Much appreciated!
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But fuck you, the trailer was fucking awesome even with the wobbly magic pants.
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Yup, I get that all the time. That'll be the Lucas apologists all right. Here's another link that'll refresh everyone's memories - this time to a teaser trailer for another little Lucasfilm number called 'The Phantom Menace'. Looks amazing, doesn't it? Ah, sweet deception...http://www.starwars.com/episode-i/release/trailer/teaser.htmlMay have to take out spacesWhether the American flag was put in or taken out, the real question is: why is it included in the first place? I mean, WTF? Does Spielberg think he needs to push the patriot button to make Americans see this movie? Why can't the movie stand up on its own two feet? The more they show of this movie, the more it stinks. I remember the same thing way back with TPM. Despite the exciting trailer, I started to get suspicious about some of the information that was filtering out. I ended up making the call BEFORE TPM's release that (I quote) "this looks like it's going to be a gigantic turkey"). Said it right here on AICN - under a different name. Later, I got to say, 'I told you so' to the apologists. And now history is repeating itself because I'm making the same call right now. Mark my words: Indy and the Crystal Skull is going to be a giant holiday fowl, farmyard variety. You heard it right here.
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I thought that meant that the trailer would reference and talk about Short Round's size and stature. You can imagine my disappointment.
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Don't get me wrong I can't wait for the movie, but the trailer was just ok at best. Moriarty is right in regards to the way it was cut. Also, why waste so much time with old footage?
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Please people, remember the jingoism that was cold war era USA. THAT is why there is an American Flag in the trailer, as an iconic reminder of the era the film is set in. That's all.
Blob? Red Scare flick.
Invasion of Body Snatchers. Natch, the same! -
The scene looks like it takes place in New Mexico, and is edited between reminders of foreign adventures (complete with a map shot like in the old days) and some Commie action. It needed some basic location setting, and they went with the flag. What's so disgusting about that? I'm not even american, I live in Europe and I dislike the current political climate (not to mention the leadership) in the US of A... but C'MON it is just a trailer for Indiana Jones, not some propaganda endorsed by bullshit politicians. Wise up.
Besides, your instincts may have led you to rightfully smell the turd back in '99, but some people - believe it or not - loved TPM. And just because it worked nine years ago for a movie directed by Lucas, doesn't mean your crystal ball will work for Spielberg's flick next spring.
Not to mention that the energy you spend trying to make a point out of mere conjectures and opinions (when not pissing at the face of the people who disagree with you) makes me wonder if, back in '99 as well as today, you just didn't made up your mind before even seeing the damn flick... -
Why the hell would you not use it for the trailer? Agree with above poster that "The Map Room" would have been appropriate to start. Why use some chintzy intro music by another artist? Baffling.
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annoying and stupid unless your 6 or retarded. And once again CGI fucks up another movie on top of everything else. Can someone please retire that fat chinless fuck before he does another fucking prequel story? This looks like it's verging on shitty and/or deflating to the franchise. It's three steps back and I bet they're hoping for a spin-off with Shia La Shitface.
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bordering on fucked up. Why would anyone in their right mind choose to use some shit pulled out of an elevator cd player over JW??? The bad decisions coming out of California continue to mount.
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This film will *not* be exactly like the Indy movies of old. Directors change, actors age, DOPs retire, film stocks get faster, color grading procedures go digital, special effects technologies *evolve*. Time. Marches. On. If this "doesn't look like" an Indiana Jones film to you, if the trailer didn't give you "chills" or butterflies in the stomach or sent you a dozen long stemmed roses or looked too much like something made in the year 2008 (find the nearest calendar and check the date, you may be shocked) then maybe you just oughta spend May 22 at home washing your hands five thousand times with a pad of steel wool til the tips weep blood. That at least will be an event you can exert some control over.
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I have nothing else to say about him. I like the guy and give him a chance. You should too. If he sucks in the movie, at least he'll get a beating for the years to come around here. It could actually be fun, but I'm not dissing him until I see him spoil a movie; the kid pretty much saved Bayformers from total lameness as far as I'm concerned.
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for good measure
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at least some sense, and facts, in this TB. About time.
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I never said I was disgusted by the American flag. Is there a reason why I should be? I just don't see the point of putting it in the trailer - unless your movie is so weak that you have to generate good will with a cheap shot like appealing to people's patriotism - i.e. if you don't see this movie, you're a traitor.But then, I don't see the point of quite a lot of things in the trailer. In any case, all the information on this movie (which has been listed by me and others countless times) points to this being a turkey. Not one sensible decision has been made by the producers of this movie so far. So no, I don't think my crystal ball has failed me. Think about it, the odds are stacked heavily in favour of my prediction coming true. After all, it's Lucas! Are you seriously suggesting that the odds are in favour of this movie being good?
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"generic" "ok" "underwhelming" Its funny most people hate Temple of Doom yet it's everything they actually want indy to be, wacky, over the top, creative, epic etc... that's what people expected but we got a trailer showing Indy more in the vain he started in, in the first place. Reserved, more realistic. Ooops.
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They put the American Flag in there to REMIND THE VIEWERS OF THE RED SCARE ERA THE FILM IS SET IT. THERE ARE "NO COMMIE/BETTER DEAD THAN RED" PROTESTS AT THE COLLEGE AT THE TOP OF THE FILM, THE BADDIE IS AN RUSSIAN AGENT ETC. Please, enough with the "flag" crap! Save your anger for the crapfest that will be tonight's KNIGHT RIDER. :(
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That one location seems to be a US Army base means it is not unreasonable to see an American flag flapping there. I don't believe it's jingoistic at all. It's an establishing shot, that's all.
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The trailer is not very good. Bad music choices, poor shot selection, grips holding lights (in the shot!), bad CGI (US trailer version), bad music editing, nary a peep out of Marion, et cetera. Why not build up the "Hey, look it's that lady from the first movie" angle. It's not quite teaser, not quite trailer...in the words of Bart Simpson, it's "craptastic." I hope The Beard waved more influence than Baron Papanoida, during the shoot!
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"Not one sensible decision has been made by the producers of this movie so far."No sensible decisions, like bringing Marion back, or casting actors of the quality of Cate Blanchett and Ray Winstone?
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Something that may, and I stress may, have its moments, but does not in any way inhabit the same universe as the other films. How can it? The people involved are not exactly in form, and the very fact that Indy 4 got made smacks of desperation. "We're doing this for the fans"? Seems more to me like "we're doing this because, well, what else is there to do?"
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Feb 17, 2008 7:34:46 PM CST
In Vanity Fair, Lucas talked about 50s sci fi being the template
by rev. slappy
I think that's a great idea, using 50s sci fi B movies as the template for this one as they used 30s serials for the parts 1 - 4.
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50's sci-fi are LARGELY red scare in their feel and tone...
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Mori prefers being coddled by groups opposed to graphic billboards
Zing! -
Nah, he didn't really.
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of course Lucas went horribly wrong over the past 25 years. But Spielberg - albeit non exempt of screwing the pooch (Lost World, The Terminal, A.I are some of my least favorite Spielby flicks) - is still the director until further notice. He calls the shot, and is still master in his own house. The Indy flicks were always more Spielberg's than Lucas'. See my fist comment in this TB about the Tintin connection.
That being said, I acknowledge the weird choices in this teaser (the hat shot is funkily slowed down, some CGI needs to be fixed, the music is a bit off... not to mention the obsolescence of MPAA's decisions) BUT I'm still expecting good things out of this. Call me naive or anything. I prefer naiveté over being jaded. A question of nature. Or nurture? Your call. -
ouch, what kind of movie did they make here!?!??!!
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For every valid point you make about this film's chances of being a turkey you undermine yourself immediately with hyperbolic assumptions that, because Lucas made the PT, "Skull" MUST be terrible. You dismiss Spielberg's oeuvre of the last 30 years out-of-hand. You forget that Lucas collaborated with four other screenwriters and didn't just shit this screenplay out by himself. Lucas' involvement with this film is demonstrably, irrefutably *less* than that he had on the prequels. The situation is not identical. This is not 1999 all over again (at least not yet anyway). I am a grown adult. My eyes are open on this one. My life no longer revolves around geek interests to the extent that I feel my childhood will be raped by this film's failure. I have perspective. Please try to find some for yourself because all you are managing to do here is take a long steaming piss on a lot of people's fun.
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Excuse any late replies. Cheers.
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Remember that they are making this one for the fans. They are also making it to have fun. Spielberg, Lucas and Ford are in a much different place in life than when they made Raiders. Films often reflect the mentality of it' creators. They also reflect the times they were made in and the tools and techniques available. I belive that when Steven set out to do the film, he didn't want to use much digital fx. But along the way he realised that he might be needlesly holding himself back by not embracing the power of digital. Digital isnt just CGI, it's removing cables on stuntman, erasing support equiptment and painting out microphones and lights. Even in 89 when crusade came out, it was still a big deal to have a moving camera during a vfx shot. Today it's fairly easy and inexpensive. I want this to be good, just as much as anyone here. I just have to understand that it's a different time and the people behind the scenes have changed. I already know that Steven, George and Harrison will wink at camera and nudge us in our sides from time to time, I'm cool with it....... just as long as Agent Spalko doesnt scream at her men: "Idiots, this isn't Dr. Jones. You captured his stunt double."
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INDY 4 TRAILER IS THE GREATEST THING EVER! IT FUCKING ROCKS!
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Feb 17, 2008 8:11:48 PM CST
INDY 4 TRAILER IS THE GREATEST THING EVER! IT FUCKING ROCKS!
by proman1984
Deal with it, OK?
I mean seriously, the way it's cut! It's fucking exciting and I'm sorry if you are too busy worshiping eli roth's cock to admit it. That goes for the rest of the AICN gang as well. -
It's not even a trailer. It's a fucking teaser and for a teaser to a VERY VEY OLD FRANCHISE IT DOES AN AWESOME JOB.
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It's a teaser people. What did you want? No iconic image? Such as what Mori? He gave you the 'hat' being put back on. A few whip shots.
Okay the reality is this trailer did nothing. It accomplished what it set out to do, which is reintroduce the character. It's been 20 years. I suspect the first 2 minute theater run trailer will be different.
It's a gamble bringing Indy back. Is it even possible they can hit a homer? Regardless, they didn't intend to play their hand here.
I'd be interested in reading the Darabount draft after seeing the movie. Just how much if anything is being used. Read interviews recently from when his script was rejected by George. Don't see any dinner invitations coming his way soon to the Ranch. Still, from those who have read the rejected script and have or will see the movie...be interested to know if George wasted the perfect draft or in fact improved the movie. -
Feb 17, 2008 8:45:51 PM CST
One split-second shot was altered from a promo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
by zeroc
Seriously Mori, calm the fuck down. The MPAA have committed far worse atrocities and THIS is what you choose to make a stand against? Maybe parents taking their kids to The Spiderwick Chronicles don't want to see a trailer featuring guns pointed at people. So what? Nothing wrong with censoring a fucking TRAILER, in my opinion. You want to see the intended shot, you'll get to when you sit down in front of the actual movie like everyone else. Until then, all you're doing is coming off like a douchebag when you sarcastically berate others for pointing out you may be slightly over-reacting a bit...
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My new addition to the catch phrase goldmine that is AICN talkbacks. Make me famous, fella geeks!
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...Leo DeCrappio. I see it coming. Get used to it...
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This trailer is pretty awful, and it seems obvious Spielberg and Lucas think they can attract an audience based on name recognition alone, that they're using the trailer to underhype the film, knowing that most of us will be there opening weekend because the marquee reads Spielberg, Lucas, Ford, Indiana Jones. They don't give a shit about the content of this trailer, they just want to remind us that Indiana Jones will be in theaters this summer, and they're clearly trying to keep expectations in check because they can afford to. Rather than bowing to modern pressures to open the film (pressures they hardly feel because of their clout), I think they're trying to create something with legs, building on word of mouth. It's an old-fashioned form of buzz they're after, but being that these are the two most successful filmmakers in the history of cinema, it's kind of hard not to have confidence in their approach. This film isn't gonna be the second coming or teh suck. It's gonna be a new a familiar thrill ride, almost definitely worth the money.
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I've watched this thing so many times I feel like I'm analyzing the Zapruder film.
Face it, George has simply spent too much time entrenched up there in Skywalker Ranch, shut off from the world, surrounded by six figure a year yes men, and his no doubt issue laden brood.
We went from the coolness of Shoot first Han and Smirking two fisted Indy too Ewoks, then Jar Jar, and now Hammy one liner Indy.
Stop George...just stop. -
I'm beginning to think it is all intentional.
That George, and now Spielberg are intentionally fucking up the characters and series we all love.
Why?
So that they can finally put them to bed...destroy the demand for new installments...and run off together into the wilds of Northern California and make the "small, art films" they talk about in every God Damned interview...
Just a thought. -
Only worry from the trailer is we'll have too many cooks in the kitchen. Indy, Marion, Mutt, the rival arch., Abner.... most of the action scenes showed that group running around. Hope that's not always the case. Would prefer Indy alone, or just paired with another person. this movie will suck!
If Abner is alive, how? Is the Ark back in this thing? Do the Russians want to couple the power of the two? Maybe the new theory is the skulls are the only thing that can harness/control the arc. Maybe Marion never thought Abner was dead. Mayber Abner was abducted and has become an alien nut, this shamed Marion and she said he was dead.
Be nice to see them play up an angle were they ponder if aliens are really "God." That could be fun. -
LOOKS LIKE HE SPENT MANY YEARS IN THE JUNGLE, LOST OR PRISONER. ABNER IS THAT YOU?
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Feb 17, 2008 9:01:24 PM CST
Hope this HD trailer looks more realistic than it did originally
by cpt kirks 2pay
Oh no it didn't. Still an overabundance of unconvincing CGI or shot overlaying. Man if this film follows suit from this trailer than Spielberg's statement of hardly any CGI is truly a betraying lie. In short, guerrila film making of Raiders/French Connection style, this movie ain't. From the looks of things thus far. By the way, your jokes in this TB guys, aren't funny.
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...he got kids. That will change your whole point of view on life...
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I agree that the trailer is strangely paced and put together. Are those Russians at Area 51 with the Roswell crate or what? Did they borrow one of the sets from National Treasure for that secret stairway, and did they use leftover CGI aborigonies from the Mummy movies to chase Indy at that temple? See, so many copies have come along now that imagery alone just isn't much of a seller anymore. Maybe it's a sign that we're too old for this shit when we can't just squeal like kiddies at a trailer, ya know? Not every Inidana Jones movie has had an image as classic as Indy running from the bolder afterall. It's too easy to blame the filmmakers and moan "this didn't WOW me, Dahling," in Edna Mode's voice or something. The silhouette shot is nice (though it could just as easily be a Spielberg touch added to an otherwise awful Michael Bay movie), and I liked what I saw of that jeep chase along the cliff--though it makes me think Blanchett's character will buy it before the final stretch of the journey, like that SS guy in the tank in Last Crusade. May it be a much better movie than it is a trailer. Also may it not suffer from that same curse that kept Die Hard 4 and Leathal Weapon 4 from being very good (DH4 being okay, but not a very good installment for turning McClain into the Terminator instead of the real guy he was supposed to be before).
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maybe they just only hate you. JACKASS. Read some book.
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It still doesn't matter man. You shouldn't get so hyped up about a teaser. The movie's what counts. No the digital alterations don't bother me, because as long as the guns are intact within the movie I'm happy. In fact if you hadn't brought it up, I wouldn't have noticed at all... I agree the pacing and cutting of the trailer was awful and I hate that fucking circa early 90s video game score they used for the opening. What a slap in the face to John Williams.
Where were the people who cut the Prequel trailers? Those were a million times better and made two and a half heaps of shit look like the stuff dreams are made of. When your sitting on billions though like those two bearded bastards, who gives a fuck? Indy 4 will easily set the record for Memorial Day weekend grosses. So who cares. Just tell people it's coming out... then count your backend paychecks in the weeks to come.
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You know, I consider myself a big movie geek; but, after reading the geeks on this board, I can see why no one listens. Bashing a TEASER TRAILER.
Wow.
How about the fact that it's another Indiana Jones movie? We should all be happy right there.
Geeze people -
I defy anyone. DEFY YOU. To tell me of a film he wrote that wasn't utter shit. The guy must be stopped and the fact Spielberg has gone sweet on him is clearly an indication of his old age laziness, or senility, or both.
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How about the fact that we're bashing a teaser trailer and not being happy about another Indy movie - as this teaser trailer doesn't look good - and we're worried that from the looks of things, and the fear that it might continue into the film itself, we are thinking that the movie might suck a bit, therefore it's not something to be that happy about. I was well Jazzed up for Indy 4, but if this teaser is a representation of the whole movie, well then perhaps I should be feeling a bit sad instead. So far, the teaser has my happy feelings stumped.
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Feb 17, 2008 9:28:47 PM CST
Well I speak for myself, I dunno about EVERYONE though, though I
by cpt kirks 2pay
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is because.... it's a fucking trailer.
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I'm to embark on a fire-bombing campaign.
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'The reason it's not cut right.. is because.... it's a fucking trailer....' Ummmm, no. It's not cut right FOR a teaser trailer. The fact is, that the KOTCS teaser contains many shoddy cuts or chosen scenes.
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What next, a regulation on how much tissue we use to wipe our asses?
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You'd think that, considering Crystal Skull has/had the chance of becoming one of the highest-grossing pictures of all time, they'd put a little more effort into the trailer. The first half is god-awful. Considering how jokey Doom and Crusade were (and Skull is gonna be more of the same) and how much of a cool 'accidental' hero Indy is, why big him up to be this dramatic civilization conquering hero with music more fitting to Schindler's List? The second half does an average job of showing us clips from Skull, though the only part I think 'that's Indy' is the silouette of him putting on the hat. It's looks like Cate Blanchett and her Russian crew are gonna be a parody of a parody. Also, the action has no danger, something that the Pirates sequels suffered from when you've got Jack swinging all over the place and miraculously managing to land on the sail through the wonder of CGI. It looks like after all the hoo-har over Shia's casting he might turn out to be one of the better things about the movie. Maybe because the rest of it dines at CGI Fridays. If anything, what we've seen of Skull reminds me of Lost World: Jurassic Park. The 'Berg has entered that mode again, I feel. Makes sense considering Lost World was the last time he did anything fun.
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I agree with you about the concern that IJATKOTCS has too many characters all running around in a big 'bunch'. Too much going on with them all. I'd rather see Indy do some more solo stuff too, rather than Spielberg have to juggle so many guys all at once and make them all get ample screen time. Again, I do agree with some others, that this reeks too much of IJATLC not just in this way, but in the so far, 'safe' feeling that the hype so far has revealed. Man, when are we gonna see some echoes of IJATTOD? Indy bleeding, more colour, scary villains, more violence and danger? WHEEEEEEEEEENNNNah?!
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Not even that shot of the fedora with the silhouette as the Raiders March began to play? If you ask me, it could've ended there and worked as a hell of a teaser trailer. That said, I dug it. Could've been better, but we've seen worse.
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"Remember that they are making this one (IJATKOTCS) for the fans." Yeah but let's face it, what do the 'fans' know? Come on, their geeky idiots a lot of the time that would cheer for stuff like another Jason Vs Freddy or Aliens Vs Predator movie, then just complain about it when it comes out as well as saying that it's been done to death (but they'll still watch another one only to make the same complaints again), or pretend that they DON'T want another Die Hard movie, but actually DO like it when it comes out and then say that they want another one. Let's face it, the fans are freaking idiots - and Spielberg should be wary about listening to them. When we ask for another sequel, we're doing it out of obligation or just a knee jerk 'couldn't think of anything else to say' kind of thing. In short, I'll sum it up with the words of Ricky Martin about his show 'The Office' and 'Extras' (even though the correct word for non idiots is 'Supporting Artists', get a brain people) and why he decided to quit from doing a 3rd series of each, even though the 'fans' were screaming out for it, like the 'so called' good taste intelligent people that they are.... ' Ricky said 'You think you want it... but you don't'. Same with IJATKOTCS guys. You know you're wrong, and that I am right. You know it now, you're gonna hotdamn well know it when you walk out of the theatre.
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felt very "Indy" to me, as did him swinging through the windshield on accident. I'm excited about this!
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...from the horrors of a fake machine gun. In theory, the rule was created for a kid who sees the trailer during Spiderwick, picks up daddy's handgun when he goes home and wants to play bang, bang, you're dead with the neighbor. Like it or not, there's that little thing in the constitution about the right to bear arms. But the thing is, daddy-who-bought-the-gun is probably an overworked, underpaid Joe who doesn't see much of his kids because he works day and night to make up for the lack of wage increases in the US in the last, oh, eight years or so. I have no love for the MPAA, in fact, I think it's incredibly lame of them not to force X- ratings on films containing violent content, but let's face it, that's why that rule is there, like it or not.
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I like to think that Spielberg is giving IJATKOTCS the WOTW treatment. Annoy the fans with showing them NOTHING throughout all the hype - and then just blowing them away with the explosion of what the film REALLY has in store for us when we actually see it. One can only hope though. I for one can't wait to see the Aliens in this film, especially the botanical marine amphibious look that they have, from the final paintings I saw from a mate of mine who worked on it. Or the scene in which Ray Winstone dies by being devoured by them as detailed in a script page that my mate showed me too, but mostly I wanna see the scene at the end where things go supernatural like in IJATROTLA and the Aliens who actually apparently are supposed to be derived from God as well (rather than deny the existence of him), go and unleash all their spiritual 'forces' and 'power' in the catacombs of the Malay 'temple' and in the display of bright light, they vaporise most of the Russian bad guys and the temple itself and the Apocalyptic show of fire and earthquake as Indy and his buddies and son try to escape, whilst at the same time, try to kill Cate Blanchett who has the skulls and stop her from creating an all power of Alien slavedom and and rule over the whole world (as 'whatever being commands the skull, commands existence' is the script quote or something). Trust me, if this 28 page something Armageddon epic sequence can be done on screen as well as on paper that some people from IJATKOTCS have told me about, well then this film just MIGHT deliver. I just hope that the future trailer doesn't hint at this like WOTW didn't, as again, it's best that stuff like this is not seen or leaked visually until people see the film and get the schock and suprise of seeing that story happen THEN.
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It appears that the effects have purposely been downgraded to fit with the look of the other Indy films. Which is fine by me. If they suddendly added sophisticated modern CG effects. It would stand out more and take you out of Indy's world.
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I do agree that the trailer just didn't work for me either. I had a vision for the past years of what it should have been and parts of my vision were there but it was so choppy and rough it didn't excite me.
Thus I have erased the trailer from my mind and forgotten it has existed.
I am very much looking forward to the film. -
Just seeing Indy standing there with his hands up really struck me. Held power for me. For me, this was better than any unlikely setpiece, special effect or stunt. For two minutes I forgot that I was watching a trailer that I was supposed to have an opinion about later. Indy was back and I was shot backwards in time . . . back to time when I didn't know how movies were put together and sold, back to a time when trailers were not something that you "cut" and "iconography" was not something that you "sold."
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the hat. Classic.
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Yeah I remember reading that too. Though I hope we get IJATTOD and IJATROTLA kinda look, and not the IJATLC 'clean' colourless look. I want the nitty gritty, but mostly I want the scary reddish albeit bright white blinding look that the film needs when the Alien powers start killing everyone in the end sequences. I think hand held cam as Indy and his pals flee the underground earthquake volcanoing settings has to be the way to go. Shoot it on the hop, like he did in SPR where he emplyoyed 'accidental' camera shots as much as possible to create the correct feel for it. I think there's also some kind of 'The Abyss' resurrection scene in it too, where either Indy's son or Marion dies, but has to be brought back to life through the power of the Alien Skull but only if the holder can be truthfully willing to die to prove their love and desire for their deceased love one (hint, he does as the scene's result shows) or something, I dunno what is written in it's reference completely. Well I have NO IDEA how Kaminski should shoot it. At first I thought, shoot it in the same way that was done in The Abyss all shaky and real, but then the scene with Indy is all about his belief in love and anything holy so it will need a more transcending higher 'being' feel to it, so the cinematography will need something more 'spiritual' and fleeting, and let's face it, a hovering looking into another world feel of photography contradicts shaky cam, doesn't it. The question, similar to what Spielberg had on a scene in Schindler's List is, 'to dolly or NOT to dolly'.
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gets all hard over the thought of Eli Roth in a hotel room, but he thinks this trailer is meh.
whatever... -
Leave Mori along you spunkprat. Mori's a cool guy.
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What are you doing in Talkback?
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I thought I'd pop in here as I don't have to get up to do any Film Extra (Sorry, Supporting Artist work) or Tiger Shark film editing work, and discuss the IJATKOTCS with some people here. At least they have taste, unlike the Zone! I thought they should know how things end at the end of this movie so they can have their expectations altered or improved as they seem to be so down about it. I thought that letting them know what's in store at the end from some movie friends of mine who worked on Indy 4 in Peru might be uplifting to them.
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how do you know so much about the script?
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Look dude,
Im not saying Moriarty isnt a nice guy.
Im just pointing out that Mariarty gets more excited about the guy who brought us such hits as:
Cabin Fever
Torture Porn 1
and
Torture Porn 2
than he does for the guys who brought us:
E.T.
Star Wars
Saving Private Ryan
Close Encounters
and
Howard the Duck
Just sayin...
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The Indy movies are not really about iconography. They are adventure movies that have been elevated to iconic status because of our feelings towards them, and the craftsmanship that went into making them. It was the right decision not to overdo the return of Indiana Jones aspect, as though we were dealing with a hallowed or sacred character (even though many of us feel that way about him). The movie, and to a lesser degree the trailer, shouldn't play to the fandom that surrounds the series, but should be true to the series itself. The shot of the hat on the ground, and his shadow against the jeep, is all the iconography you need, and perfectly in line with the other movies.
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This is just a teaser trailer and I'm excited to see the film. Sure, Harrison is old, but damnit, this is Indiana Jones! It can't be bad and it certainly won't ever top "Raiders". I think the movie looks like a lot of fun. Bring on the full trailer! It's going to be a kick-ass summer, indeed!
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I think people are missing the point of the flag. It's not a postive icon, since the next scene in the trailer is Indy being kicked around by the US Army. Am I wrong?
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Y'know the flag could have been there because the scene took place at a U.S. military base.
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"Some reason why you feel the need to use those long acroynms? Why preface all of them with IJAT?" It's called.. being specific. Being correct. Articulate. Detailed. We live in a world of too much vagueness don't you think? Especially as we're talking about movies that we love.
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Isn't the American flag included to infer that Indy is being roughed up by his own government at the beginning of the trailer? Those soldiers with guns on him are US soldiers, I do believe. I hardly think that's the sort of "patriotic" statement most of you are insinuating.
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The most recent posts before I bother restating things...
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Well I work as a Supporting Artist (Film Extra to normal people) and have done films like Gladiator and even SW 1 and 2 (sorry for ruining it guys) though I don't work much more than a day on such films. I also do other independent smaller crew work on little films, (I am finishing 2 films off of my own about diving with tiger Sharks and Great Whites right now) so I am kind of in the industry. So without bragging, I do like to think that I know people or 'connections' though mostly at lower production levels who work on other movies too, even though I don't work on them myself. So even though I didn't work on IJATKOTCS I do know friends or at least one, who has worked on it. He obviously knows other people on it too. So he likes to share this stuff with me what not. I hope this answers your questions. I mean, I'm sure there's others here in the TB who have connections in film too. Nice to meet you all!
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I'm sorry I called you a Spunkprat.
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Cool man, I hear ya. I have to say that I was not really blown away by the INDY4 trailer. However, I did feel that it contained just enough "Indy Magic" to get me excited again. The infamous silhouette was enough to make me smile.I had no idea that you actually worked in/on film. But that's fantastic news regarding your two diving films. You should definitely give us the word on your progress when you can and let us know how things turn out. You know...like in TB...or that other place. :^)
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... is more harmful to watch during trailers than guns being fired at someone - the mpaa is full of shit and always has been - and the flag, while it doesnt bother me that much, is such an awkward attempt at painting this franchise as just "america=goodguys/everyone else=badguys" - when in reality the all 3 movies to date have shown its all much grayer than that - but as someone else said in another talkback, if youre going to open the trailer with scenes from exotic locales (deserts specifically) you better push the flag in our faces for the sensitive morons that need a distinction to be made between our hero and his adventures (where ever they might take place)
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cool that sounds like fun!so from what you know do you think this will be better than what people are speculating here on AICN?
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Indys one of my favorite franchises is all.
And Its one of the movies Ive been looking forward to the most.
And to have to read Maryarty whine about the trailer (um its a teaser dude) not be cool enough, or "why are the guns painted out? Its ruined for me"
While seeing that mr Douche-bag Roth is starting to rear his ugly head again after the abysmal failure that was Torture Porn 2.
And Maryiarty mouth/keyboard seems to be gushing with Eli-asmic anticipation.
Good luck with the films dude. Im an editor (commercials and music videos) here in NY, and I know what the post process is like.
Lotta late hours, alot of swearing, and angry calls from the wife.
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remember, thats all it is - a teaser - the reason its awkward and feels unsatisfying might be because the footage shown is the least spoiler filled - thats how it felt to me - as if the movie and its story, inspite of this being the first teaser, is still hidden from us - the official theatrical release "trailer" will be better and more satisfying im sure - inspite of all this censorship crap, im still looking forward to this a great deal - not been this excited since ROTS
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Well I think that one should hold out a bit more hope when you regard that the final leg of this movie will be like completely and literally explosive and like nothing you've seen before, let alone in an Indy movie. Things basically go supernova and quite graphic in terms of how the Russians and especially Cate Blanchett die by the Aliens. So who knows if it will be better than what people think? I personally think it's all about the performances. I don't see why everyone slags off Shia so much as I think he's such a natural and totally limitless actor. I don't think there's nothing that he can't do. But when it comes to performance my eye is on Ray Winstone. Who I observed to be a consumnate performer when I saw him work on Sexy Beast. Such time he takes to getting realism. But for the life of me, I have no idea how he is going to do the scene where he dies in IJATKOTCS, as it's been described as if his body gets pulled from the inside out, like his insides are sucked out from him first, before his skin is reversed. Just shows what strange Alien powers these beings posess. How do you act that? Can't wait to see that though. Just hope it works.
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You said "IJATROTLA is revisionist history, if you want to get technical, since it was called "Raiders of the Lost Ark" for many years." Well I don't know what you mean. As in IJATROTLA they did say that the Ark is part of real life history and that althout rewriting it in said film, it is not stated that it did actually happen. Weird that as in IJATTOD and IJATLC it is NOT stated that the archetypes existed in one but DID exist in the other, in history. The artetypes of the Sankara Stones and the Holy Grail that is. So who knows what revisionist history is, if an archefact did exist in one but not the other?
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Oh I'm sorry about that other Taken thread. I'm sorry, but that kind of shallow infantile and disrespectful attitude there, really did make me angry with them. It's like a father having to deal with 10 kids - knowing that they're total horrors and they don't deserve your love. So yeah, I mean, I might be 'connected' but that's a strong word - to the industry, but let's face it. I am only a lowlife fucking film extra who does sod all work and you don't need a brain for. Extras are the shitpile of the industry if you must know, not all that good. So yeah, I guess I don't go too high up the ladder as I can go nuts at times, like you say. Well let's not say that I'm 'connected' then, as I lack a better word. Let's just say that I vaguely know friends of friends. People in positions that I so much want to be in, but I can't as again, I am a little too freaky inside about things I care about. (though your 'nutcase' jab did hurt a little.)
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No, isn't he saying that IJATROTLA is revising history as in saying that the Ark did exist but was found by the Third Reich? THAT'S revisionist history. I just don't know what to call IJATTOD in this term of revisionist history as I don't know if the Sankara stones did actually exist?
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Sorry, again. Should have posted in the above one too. I just thought that seeing as how people here seem to be in a depressed mood about what they know so far, they would want cheering up and hope being brought to them by knowing that the ending has a lot of big things and suprises in it that they will enjoy. Many people don't care about Spoilers anyway so again, it's the 'you think you don't want it but you do' thing. The 'you think you don't want to know about IJATKOTCS, but you do want to know about IJATKOTCS'. So i just thought that I'd tell them. I just thought it would interest and perk people up for the film again. As so far, the publicity for it has been negative.
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Feb 17, 2008 11:59:41 PM CST
I agree with M that the trailer was anti-climactic...
by unchienandalou
I'm sure the movie will nicely accomplish what it sets out to do within the parameters of summer popcorn entertainment but I felt this first bit of advertising had virtually no WOW! factor whatsoever and at no point did I think "holy f-ing s**t I want to take a temporary employment leave and get in line for this thing right now!!!"
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But why did he call the film a 'revisionist history'? That[s got nithing to do with the title does it? I think he meant that it was revising WW2 history by cross referencing revising biblical history? I don't get what that's got to do with changing the title?
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Yeah, editing. You know what it's like eh? :) Like spending all your time on here talking about films you want to be on if only you were good enough, (well I speak for me anyway) when I should be working on editing. So I'm on TB instead. Or I'm downloading hot chick movies instead, too much time watching Shania Twain sing her songs on Youtube, I dunno, I just can't stop! I should get back to work or sleep! Oh well, roll on IJATKOTCS.
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My biggest concern going into this film was whether Ford could find the old Indy in himself; which I doubted after seeing him act and interview over the past 15 years. While the speaking lines in this teaser haven't yet convinced me he has, Ford's physicality and body movement looked just like the old Indiana, and that alone is cause for hope.
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from IJATROTLA where Paul Freeman puts his hand on hte Ark and says 'This IS history'!!! Hope that helps sums things up about the film being revisionist history? Heh. Sorry, that was a bad joke I think. Sorry, I didn't mean to take the piss there. Though I still am not sure if you see this film in this way.
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AICN posters are known as haters, but sometimes I am with you guys...like with the Rambo ad campaign (though I enjoyed the movie!).
But COOOOME OOOOOOON....how in the WORLD can you pick on this INDY teaser? It was fantastic!! The "pacing"...."they should have used this bg music instead"...WTF?? It's like your LOOKING for problems or something. A teaser than opens with the hat being put back on the head and Indy swinging/driving around in action...thats FANTASTIC.
People are actually saying stuff like "This person's here...then he's here, that makes no sense!"....looking for story consistency in tha TEASER TRAILER?? Are you kidding?
Wow....just wow. When you hate on stuff like this, it ruins your credibility for when you hate on stuff that truly deserves venom.
Just had to sign on to say this. -
I'm one of the ones who loved the trailer. For me what they needed to do was show the tone of the movie in a way that gives absolutely no story spoilers, and I feel that's just what they did. For a teaser it works perfect, just gives you the flavor without giving away huge story details (that we didnèt already know through released stills, anyway). But to see it as it was meant to be seen is pretty cool, so thanks for the links!.
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Saw the teaser in theatres before "Jumper" (the second time that Fox has taken a shit on my eyeballs and my wallet in the last 2 months, AVP:R being the other one, though I have no one to blame for this but myself) and it got a great reaction. This is undoubtedly the film to beat this summer. The Dark Knight is gonna pull a Batman Returns/Temple of Doom and be too dark and violent. That might make it a great movie, but it won't have the widespread appeal that this will have. Teens will see it who discovered the Indy series on DVD, aging Boomers who were there in '81 will be excited, it's got a shot at $300 mil. As for the teaser itself, I could have done without the messianic "God is coming back" approach to recapping the trilogy...Indy should never be portrayed that seriously. The beauty of the character is that he always saves the day, but he bumbles and gets hurt in the process. He's not slick, and he's certainly not self-serious. That said, the action shots really do it for me. The whole "I thought that was closer" line? It's perfect. It's a nod to the character's age (which is necessary when Ford is in his '60s), but it's also quintessential Indy humour. Even as a younger man, Indy still might have missed that jump. Blanchett is always great, Shia can't possibly suck as much as Short-Round, and anyone who thinks an alien plot is too outlandish needs to remember that this is the same character who, um, found the HOLY FUCKING GRAIL THAT JESUS DRANK FROM. Realism is exactly the hallmark of these films. This one looks like a winner. Spielberg, you magnificent bastard.
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You bitch about that, because its up for public consumption and viewable by children. So is this.
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shit, man . . . you've got something iconic and kickass making another return to the screen and you can't help but shia't all over it. WTF!?! Bitch, bitch, bitch seems to be the flavor 'round here. As for the 'merican flag from what I know about the period of this film the villains and the Macguffin the image is in there for the scene's sake when you've got Cold War infiltratin' Russkies heading into the heart of America's secret Area 51. The fucking flag's in there for the establishing shot and what the fuck ever ad agency that put this trailer together ('cuz that's usually who does these things and not the studio per-se) decided is was an element to play up even though there isn't anything to really tell the viewer when or where this is except in little elements. I ain't no flag hugger, but leave it be until we move past the teaser trailer and into the meat. And, like I said, WTF!?!?! We've got ourselves another Indy movie and the only bitchin' I've got is that its 10 years late, but better than never.
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...From Raiders and Temple and to a lesser extent Crusade is iconic. We, or more accurately they, bitch because its just someone dragging up an inconic character to utilise in a shitfest to make a buck. He was doing quite well being left alone. That said, I don't really give a fuck either way, because I think Indies like, maybe a couple of levels below Jack Burton.
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from when Ford appeared in Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcwEIs5_z7E
Here's hoping we see a lot more of that twinkle in Ford's eye in Indy IV:
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http://tiny.cc/Nz5EI
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Except that GL didn't write or direct that episode so you can't really pin any of that on him. I remember watching that when it first aired and thought it was great.
I just love the haters. You automatically blame Lucas for problems you have with his work while simultaneously NOT giving him credit for the stuff you do like ("It wasn't GL is was Gary Kurtz/Marcia Lucas/Irvin "Robocop 2" Kershner, etc,etc, etc"). -
alternative to the let's have fistfights every ten minutes crowd. Young Indy wasn't supposed to be the movie Indy. It was a young Indy discovering his world.
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or whatever you want to call it, from the Saucermen from Mars script. Indy swings over it when kicking that dude through the window. Wonder what else they're using from that particular script? Shit, i've heard about merman type shit goin on potentially. Maybe Kirk is right about the aliens amphibious nature?
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I just downloaded the 'International' trailer only to get the 'flag' in there again....jeeze - the PROPER international trailer has NO flag (as seen over at thesun dot co uk).
Boo. Etc...
(Just saying) -
http://tinyurl.com/2m8wsv
Good grief....:( -
What? You want the trailer to start with the boulder? Or the raft down the mountain? Short Round riding the elephant? All while playing familiar iconic themes? Basically...just give away the movie and deflate the buildup right at the beginning??
The beginning of the teaser is MEANT to be only semi-familiar. It seems designed to give a "wait a minute....it couldn't be...??" feeling to the audience. Then when the foot steps forward and the theme music starts, THEY KNOW...thier suspicions have been answered. Most people will not watch this trailer on AICN with a big "INDY IV!!!!!" heading, but rather in the theater with a bunch of other trailers. They won't see it coming...so its important not to completely give the movie away in the beginning of the teaser. Make them wait a moment....its imagination. -
So you'd convince the advertisers/promoters to highlight Indy's long awaited return as a "bumbling guy who gets hurt"? That may be closer to what he is, but from a promotional standpoint they have got to make him out to be this larger than life icon...hes Optimus Prime. In the movie he can be same old Indy, but advertising to the mainstream he's "INDY F'N JONES!!", you know what I mean?
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Relax andhave some fun. Fun is good.
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That is all.
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After May 22, George Lucas will make a mint from introducing a generation of new fans and older ones to the Indy franchise who will then proceed to spend the rest of the next few years buying Indiana Jones DVD and Blu-Ray Boxsets as well all related movie merchandise. Another brilliant Lucasfilm money making machine guaranteed to get asses in seats a la the Prequel Trilogy...
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Posted this in the previous Indy TB butit's died.
All the soilders that manhandle Indy are named after American Presidents. -
Indy shilouetted against the car putting his hat onthe shortsighted swing back into the truck behind!the natives advancing through the tombthe clifftop chaseThe warehouse full of cratesThe same sound effect of stone scraping from Raiders when the idol is removed.the big frikin Myan or Aztec ruin/maze tomb puzzles!!!MarionPat Roach (I hope that's him!?)Ray WinstonCate Blanchet!How uncool is it to piss on that trailer on this suposed moviegeeks site!? Very fucking UNCOOL! I'm no apologist for bad movies, nor am I a raving Lucas ass kisser! the guy should leave his own classics alone and concentrate his efforts not CGing up his backcatalogue but making new adventures! god knows he's got the talent for tall tales but this looks like everything you could want from a 4th Indy movie and tons more! and the only thing I can see worth Bitching like a little bitchy bitch about is possibly the fact they lowered the guns in the trailer with a little bit of dodgy cut and paste, which I never even noticed, and which won't even be in the film!!! so quit bitchin!!!
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You talkbackers crack me up. You either bitch about too much given away in a trailer or not enough. There's no pleasing the lot of you, is there?For me personally, the trailer did what I think it was supposed to do - get me excited about seeing Indy back in action. I for one will be at the midnight show, if they have one here, with my 13-year-old son. We went out this weekend and got the first three, and we're watching them together.Obviously I'm not an industry insider or a film student, just someone who likes movies of all types. So, there's my two cents, for what it's worth.
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... the lamps and flag n' stuff that shows at the end of the clip with Indy trying to swing onto the car?
With that said, the trailer is fucking great! -
How do we know this? Because it's cgi. Therefore by it's very nature, it was added to the shot. Playing both versions side by side you see that they are the same exact shot. Now, it should be noted that in the trailer for Spider-man 3, there was a cgi US flag in a shot, that wasnt in the international version, and the cgi'd flag version made it into the final film. So we will have to wait for the final film before we see which version of the shot is "as intended".
Now I know you Americans are almost Nazi-like when it comes to patriotism...note, I'm not calling yo Nazi's, but in terms of celebrating being American, you are very similar to the Germans during the Nazi regime, with Pledges of Alliegiance, and so much respect for national symbols, like the flag....but surely even you guys must be sick of these slo-mo stars and stripes shots that are appearing more and more in movies these days. -
If you're going to draw parallels between American patriotism and Nazi blood & earth fervor, at least have the courage of your convictions and say so. Don't suggest a comparison and then back out to avoid flak, thus having the cake and eating it.
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...it's obviously being flown over the gates of a military base or some other government installation which the vehicles are on their way to. If I'm not mistaken, there's an identical shot in Jurassic Park when our protagonists pass through the gate into the actual park.
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Feb 18, 2008 7:23:16 AM CST
Did anyone notice the tiny glimpse of the Skull from Temple of D
by earthling
It's in the Temple of Doom section near the start and is a quick dissolve between the shot of the Kali statue and the bats. I'm fairly certain that was not in the US version. If so, why? It's like 8 frames!
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That trailer is about as poorly edited as a trailer can get. It's simply a mess.
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http://www.cooltoyreview.com/TF2008/Hasbro/IJpresentation/image6.asp
Mutt Williams confirmed and Cemetry Warrior? WTF!
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...like Merriman (and moviemack and ringwearer9), is that they invariably paint themselves into a corner with their reasoning. Instead of merely complaining about how a trailer is cut (like many other reasonably have), they take minute details of a trailer and use it as irrefutable evidence that the movie is going to suck. With this kind of stance, there is literally nothing in the actual film that can prove them wrong since they don't allow that possibility.
To make things worse, they say things like "The odds are in my favor!" and "You heard it here first!", which is the worst, cheapest, most cowardly and most pathetic form of cynicism on these boards. If they are right, they can claim some sort of perverted glory; if they're wrong, they can just slink away and come back with a new username to avoid derision from their peers.
What fucking saddoes... -
In the case of this movie trailer, where we glimpse a flag in the foreground of a shot, the context is completely up for grabs. The impression I got (admittedly, being a huge fan of Spielberg and an Australian) is that he is suggesting the American military are the latest villains Indy must go up against. The base they are driving towards is almost certainly Area 51/Groom Lake, where the latest McGuffin or is presumably being kept. You could infer that the US Army are, in effect, the Nazis of this movie. But that is all complete guess-work on my part. I just get the impression from different articles and pictures I've seen, that the film has a similar anti-military slant to the other films, especially Raiders, where the US Government are the ones who decide to keep the ark for their own, possibly power-hungry purposes. Either way, we'll soon know one way or another. I reckon this film will deliver in terms of the story, thanks in very large part to Lucas holding his own and shifting the era to the 50s, which was a time (dawn of the cold-war) not unlike our own era of paranoia. post 9/11.
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They changed the title so that all three movies would be next to each other on the shelf at the video store. There's no conspiracy involved. They were just making it easier for fans to find the movies. I can't believe anyone would bitch about that.
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Ringwearer9 was right (well, at least about ROTK)
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and that makes me his buddy.
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Feb 18, 2008 8:08:49 AM CST
THE CHIN: You said it was gonna be easy to sell this flick
by spencertrilby
THE BEARD: Not as easy as it used to be...
Thank you teh internet. -
Doom was better than Crusade and you fucking know it.
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www.cooltoyreview.com/T F2008/Hasbro/IJpresentation/
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Of course I hope that Spielberg will play and ace, and TRULY thrill us, and make us laugh. But that jokey, rough-and-tumble tone that felt so fresh in the 80s would feel very 'so what?' now.
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Wouldn't it be cool if it was disclosed that the MPAA cabal was comprised of CGI characters, upgraded over the past few years from original hand-drawn creations by Disney back in the 60's, and that Jack Valenti had really been nothing more than an Audio-Animatronic figure?
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...if one bears in mind the REASONS ringy said it would suck, my theory is still sound.
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Spielberg's mistress singing Cole Porter off-key? Oh God I hope so.
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Yes he was right, but even a blind squirrell occasionally finds a nut. I'm still enthusiastic about this- and all nitpicking isn't bothering me. It's Indiana Jones, for fuck's sake!
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www.cooltoyreview.com/T F2008/Hasbro/IJpresentation
SPOILERS! -
I don't remember what he was saying about ROTK back then, and am too lazy to use AICN's lazier search engine to find out.
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I do see where he's coming from- and in a lot of ways he is right, but the ine he is taking falls down in one significant degree- this is still a Spielberg film. Again, he does speak some truth when he says that Spielberg's best days are behind him, but Spielberg at 50% is still significantly better than almost all opposition. And it's Indiana Jones, how can you not be a bit excited?
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All his old stuff was deleted when he got the ban hammer (as ringbearer9), although I did save his King Kong review for posterity. It's pretty much the same thing.
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Ringy was right about ROTK? In what capacity?
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they're hating you for this whole 'Woodward and Bernstein' moment you're trying to fabricate out of a complete non-story.
This just in: THE MPAA CENSORS STUFF! Film at 11
Someone in your original fantasy-driven talkback already explained this: there is a "General Audiences" trailer and a "PG-13" trailer, and both are being distributed within the United States. The website went ahead and posted the "G" trailer on their website in case, y'know, kids are interested in Indiana Jones - God forbid (or Xenu forbid in this case) that we make Indiana Jones accessible to a whole new generation.
I'm going to be posting this to Eli Roth's underpants in case you're there and not here. -
Ringy had a blind irrational hatred towards Jackson and LOTR, because it didn't meet his utterly ludicrous obsessional standards. He slated and bashed it ad nauseum for the most pointy headed of reasons. Although I did not like ROTK, I didn't like it for totally different reasons to Ringy. Because he's crazy. And anyway, I liked the first 2, and he hated them from the moment that jackson was announced as director.
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Don't watch any trailers. Instead, watch Raiders in February, Temple of Doom in March, Last Crusade in April, and then Crystal Skull in May. If you do that, you'll probably enjoy it plenty, because you'll be expecting an Indiana Jones film, nothing more, nothing less. Not the Treasure of Sierra Madre. Not Lawrence of Arabia. Not Fellowship of the Ring. Just good, plain, Indiana Jones.
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you can see me dying of the flu
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...is that he's listed "faults" with the film that he can never back down on, even after seeing it, much like NoDiggity. A lot of people have listed quibbles with the trailer which, while I don't agree with most of them, only pertain to the trailer and allow for the possibility that the film might not suck. This I can respect. Rabid haterism? Not so much.
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albeit his reason's for it not being great were laughable. Ringy was right by accident not design.
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SOme of Merriman's reasoning is sound. 1)The Phantom Menace had a great trailer and was a horrible let down. 2)Everyone involved peaked ages ago. 3)George Lucas is behind the crystal skull thing and was allegedly behind the dustbinning of the Darabont script. However, he doesn't take into account the mitigating factors- It's INDIANA JONES and SPielberg past his peak is still pretty fucking good, and Lucas is not on as director or writer.
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I really liked WOTW, which was much scarier version of Cloverfield. And I loved AI, even though I know a lot of people hate that movie
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It was awful. Munich was 2/3rd's great.
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but I really dug it, but then again it's depressing as fuck, and sometimes I love a good depressing movie. And I can understand why people hated it.
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Funny that Mori's problem is my highlight for the trailer. The editing. The segue from the warehouse explosion to the plane on the horizon to the Spielberg title card is downright masterful with that section of William's score.
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I was sad to see our BOnd TB not on the top 10 anymore
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The US flag in that shot was done for artistic and aesthetic reasons and nothing more. Regardless of whether you are American or not, that shot looks good. It has that 'touch of evil' tracking quality to it. And as it pans upwards, it has this great moment where the perspective goes from intimate to distant, as if you've just looked behind the green curtain and exposed the tiny little wizard of Oz. Your theory that this 3 second blink is added because it will make the movie suddenly and instantly profitable is just dumb. Think it through more.
Your whole argument is like asking, "why does the camera move close to Roy Scheider and away from the background when he first sees the shark attack in Jaws? It makes no sense. My eyes dont work like that in real life!!" hey dummy - its a director trying to be, y'know, artistic and stuff. It looks like you want us to choose between your vision of what this movie should be (a movie involving the US Govt without ever showing a US flag in it), or with Mr Spielberg's vision of what this movie should be.
Now to be fair to you, before we decide which of you we are going to support, could you please tell us how many Oscars you have for Best Director and/or Best Picture? Thanks. -
I went back and nostalgically posted, but I think we need about 50 to put it back on the board, and that's just too many
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who knows nothing of the originals, who grew up on The Matrix and only knows of Eps I, II, and III of Star Wars thanks of this. "Who the fuck is this Indiana Jones, and who is that old guy?" This teaser is like catnip to the fans, but what of the newbies? The teaser for Live Free looked more like a "I gotta see that shit!" for the newbies than this.
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came about as a result of the Shark being cross-eyed. It was a semi-improvised piece of genius.
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caught the flu from my wife, and yet here I am still at work
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I can't believe the negativity. As a rabid Jones fan I thought for a TEASER, it teased right nice. The expected, but exciting shadow shot of him putting the iconic fedora on, a never before seen action shot of whip swinging (finally he's not just swinging over a chasm), all the locations and some quipy dialogue. Lucas didn't direct or write so it's not TPM all over again. Give it a freaking chance to be awesome before deciding it sucks.
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I can picture the guy now, as I went to see the premiere of ROTK with the same kind of people: ROTK was (and still is) one of the biggest kick in the ass I ever took in theaters - having not read the books I had no emotional connection except the previous two films that I mildly enjoyed. But the third one was an experience like I rarely, if ever, had before in theaters.
And then, once the end credits roll, as I manage to get up my seat with a big smile on my face, one of the folks I went to the movie with (a big LOTR fan since childhood - complete with self-painted toys on his desk) starts shouting at the screen in the packed theater: "Jackson is an asshole!!! HE DIDN'T GET IT!!!"
The most embarassing movie moment. Ever. -
That argument is spurious. It is irrelevant whether he is a director or not- he has every right to criticise. I would use the Dr. Johnson quote I always use in instances like this, but I only used it the other day and don't want to wear it out.
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shit man, at least it's monday. You could get the whole week off if you time it right
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Of cource my job doesn't recognize holidays and I have to work to accrue my hours of sick time and use them on my holidays if I need off.
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Good Morning. Happy Monday!
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I'm going to wait until I have something important to do and then vomit on my computer
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But ROTK was an abomination, and SpencerTrilby: your friend was right. Jackson didn't get it. Which is why the Rankin-Bass version is the most faithful adaptation of ROTK we'll likely ever see.
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That's fucking horrible
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went to see a movie with my friend and he starts talking loudly to me and doesn't shut off his cell phone and proceeds to text on it while the movie was playing. And both of those things are HUGE pet peeves to me, I haven't invited him to come see a movie with me since then.
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Well, to each his own. Very few films are perfect per se. But I, for one, thought that one was pretty effin' great.I could only give Ringy a little leeway on KING KONG. While his pre-release hate was unprecedented, I have to laugh at the fact that he saw the movie more than once in the theaters. The irony of him lining PJ's pockets is just too sweet.
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and they don't pay for it, we have to use our time off
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either that or a cattle prod. Every time you see the light from a screen- just lean forward and zap them with the cattle prod. They won't do it again.
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i farted
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Or needs to strike for a 5-day work week, one of the two.
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he was ridiculous over Kong. Wasn't that the "wrong colour of fire" delusion. I didn't know he went to see it multiple times. The idiot.
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and a BIG one, and you'd think they would be a little more understanding with their employees. but no. I will have to buy that cattle prod it could come in handy for theater patrons who feel the need to use laser pointers, I fucking hate when you get a bunch of annoying kids in the cinema and they won't shut up no matter what you do.
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Do you work for Merck?
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and use them to self medicate?
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Peekaboo!! Sir Charge!!
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There was a guy there called Binary Sunset, and he believed that the only good Star Wars movie was the original (aka A New Hope). Hated Empire, hated ROTJ. The funny thing was, after you listened to him for awhile, and the more you discussed the movies (why the hell does everyone love Empire? what's the big deal with Bounty Hunters?), you started to see his point of view.
Of course, I still love ROTJ (Ewoks be damned!) so I never went completely to his viewpoint. But one has to wonder if Ringwearer9 (and others) could've been more persuasive in a more formal forum environment. -
I'm in the corporate office though in IT so no special meds here in the office. I do have some percocet left over from my intestine surgeries though...hmmm Nyquil and Percs and Ticks on tape sounds like a winning combo
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is not that the environment is too brutal. It is that his arguments are hysterical, unstructure, obsessive bollocks and undermined by his slavish devotion to Tolkien. For a prime example of him being an obsessed dickhead have a look at the Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows TB. He was ridiculous in that, and his arguments were beyond belief.
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Did I say the Americans are nazi's? No. Americans don't exterminate entire races (they just lock them up and torture them without justification...oops here comes the backlash :P) but there are similarities between Nazi nationalism and American patriotism. Now obviously, the US aren't likely to invade other countries without just cause...uh...no, wait, let me try something else...the US is all about promoting freedom and...damn it...Bush is not a war criminal...aww crap...ok, ok the US is as bad as Nazi Germany.
So, are you mad yet? Busy writing a response telling me to shut up in a whole manner of unsavoury ways? Well I'm going to tell you to calm down before you start. Of course the US isn't like Nazi Germany, you just have some assholes in charge, who luckily you can get rid of (to be replaced by a different asshole...Clinton, Obama, McCain...take your pick).
I was just making the point that there are striking similarities between the Nazi and American ideas of patriotism. And Hollywood plays into that idea of patriotism, and the reverence and devotion Americans have for their national flag. The US certainly isn't the "land of the free," it has its problems, but it's no Nazi Germany, and I never suggested that. -
seriously, It's my mothers flu cure- Double scotch, juice of half a lemon, tablespoon of honey and lots of hot water in a mug. Stir it up an drink while hot. It may or may not work but enough of them and you won't care.
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Altough I'm not gonna hate on Ford, Spielberg or Allen, and will probably see it anyway, this movie will probably suck balls. It has a Koepp script with Lucas' alien elements, *SHIA LEBEEF*, and some things already pointed out by Merriman.
I hated Crusade and that had SEAN CONNERY. They really should've kept SHORT ROUND or cast someone else as Indy's son, and gone with the Darabont script. Then it could've been something to get excited over and not pour excuses for.
Peekaboo!! Sir Charge!!!
AHHHHH ... your money!!! -
That's the biggest problem I had with the trailer. The looping and cutting of the soundtrack was horrible. How do professionals not see that?
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Slavish devotion to the bible is bad. To Tolkien? Good.
I remember RW9's arguments, so I see where you're coming from. But at the same time, Talkback forces a sort of style in order to garner attention. Was his talkback arguments "hysterical, unstructure, obsessive bollocks" because of him, or because of Talkback?
And that's your zen thought for the day -
Your mom is a genius. I'm trying one of those tonight. I'll call it FTF-Fuck the Flu
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seriously of his contribution to the conversation one has been to call everyone "ladies" and the other has been to crack a fart joke. Don't encourage the little prick.
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Um, let's not divulge more information about your occupation. A certain joyless stalker of yours might use it to track you down (hint: Braffed) ... SHHH!!!!
I am Sir Charge!!!! Who's gonna pay for this bloody suit?!?! -
although it may have been amplified by the TB.
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Koepp rewrote darabonts script...so I wouldn't be surprised if aliens were in that script.
Darabont is overrated anyway, and to be honest, I'd be more worried if Lucas wasn't involved. -
A double-shot of spiced rum, straight, will usually get my immune system working in overdrive.
And if it doesn't, who cares? -
I'm done now. I'm not letting myself get into any more senseless, pointless fights with the guy. I'm too tired and too sick for that
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Feb 18, 2008 9:51:07 AM CST
I don't know if PJ "got it" or not as I haven't read the book
by spencertrilby
all I know is that he really put together a terrific movie experience. That's all I needed.
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I have a remedy for you. It was given to me by an ex-GF and it freaking works.
This is no joke, this is like some elixir. Anyway, pour Coca cola into a pot and put in a generous amount of sliced raw ginger. Bring to a boil then let simmer. Drink it down.
And make sure you sweat it out under warm covers with Mentholatum ointment on your back, shoulders, back of neck and chest.
I AM SIR CHARGE!!!
Peekaboo! -
BSB-I'm not worried, he'll never figure it out, and I wouldn't give the name out anyway
Chrth-that sounds good as well, I used to have a surefire cure for the common cold. Menthol Cigs + a purple haze blunt, a bowl of hot miso soup, and a Marx Brothers movie -
I'll try all of them, at least it can't hurt!
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the hot toddy and a vindaloo. You'll be pissed and sweat like a blind lesbian in a fish shop, but it should cure you.
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Fiji. Yes, Fiji...move to Fiji and you will never get the flu
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Don't know why I felt the need to share that with you. Sorry.
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I second the Scotch Treatment. Get yourself an Islay Single Malt (Lagavulin...if you want to do it in style) and mix it with some fresh air. Believe me when I say that it DOES have medicinal qualities!
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I think I may have to sip on some apricot brandy as well tonight. Just to warm the soul
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That's too many cures!
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but not of alcohol poisoning
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and you see me talking about why Owls only seem to want to talk at nighttime and how I think that The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie is a film of understated beauty, someone needs to call 911 because I'm on my death bed
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Feb 18, 2008 10:15:24 AM CST
The swinging on the whip scene is great classic Indy
by stereotypical evil archer
Impossible and funny...that's Indy!
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I love A.I. too. I saw it with a group of 5 other people and they all hated it. My assumption is they just watched it on the level of it being a cute kid Spielberg movie whereas it's actually one of the most depressing, hopeless movies ever made. If only Kubrick had lived to make it, what a movie that would have been. Regardless, A.I. is a masterpiece compared to most summer movies these days. It's a movie for the minority though. The themes tackled in A.I. are mostly verboten in popular culture.
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yeah, most people I have talked to about it really violently hate it. My wife was pissed I made her watch it because it made her extremly sad. The scene where David has realized that he is not unique after he finds all the other copies of him and he is sitting on the ledge and just mutter "mommy" before dropping off is just so fucking heartbreaking. And just the idea that he spent thousands of years just begging a statue so that he could be real and be loved is just so iconic of the yearning to be loved that you can lose your mind because of it. Even the ending is bittersweet. I didn't like the Chris Rock cameo and some of it dragged a little in the middle section of the film. But to me, it was such a great tragedy of someone who is created to love that can never fully BE loved and the heartache it can cause. Just something about it struck such a chord with me and I think it is one of Spielbergs most underated and def. one of his darkest films
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I just hate it.
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i feel your pain, man, just remember if you start coughing green, you gotta get on the real pills or it'll never go away. although those folk remedies are brilliant. my hub's grandfather had a remedy: brew a tea with chicken shit in it. yes, they're from the deep south.
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1) The movie would've been better without the alien 'coda' ... just end it with the kid looking at the blue fairy
2) Who the hell designs a robot without an escape sequence for an infinite loop? -
i think I may have to pass on that one Occula, but thanks for the well wishes :)
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this is because i'm a girl and ill-educated about certain technological things: can anybody tell me why, sometimes, when i link to a trailer like the ones above, it has a terrible time loading and just goes all jerky? and sometimes it's fine? is that my computer, my connection or some other issue? i appreciate any 411, it's really frakking annoying.
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was the newer live action version of Peter Pan. Thought it was also beautiful and heartbreaking as well. And the mermaid scene was fucking fantastic
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what? This remainds me of the Transformers thread where a japanese girl called P-chan recommended gargling something warm and salty. No thanks.
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it is a masterpiece compared to the dreck that was foisted on the public this summer. *goes away muttering darkly about Spiderman 3*
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don't know if I'm coming back to work or not. So if not thanks for all the well wishes!
Jarv- my friend, we may not agree on AI but I know we agree on Toxic Avenger and that is much much more important! -
tamiflu works best, I thinks thats the correct spelling.
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And this one definitely is definitely underwhelming to cringe worthy. But the trailer clearly doesn't make the movie, and I'm not quite sure what to make of it.
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That's the problem I had with the links.
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Toxic Avenger is an underrated masterpiece. See you tomorrow.
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You can phase in, phase out, or put two mechanisms in phase. You can go through a phase in your life, or ask a multi-phased question. But a shitty trailer can only faze you.
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Wrong again, tooly. There are vast differences between American patriotism and Nazism. By your post it's obvious that you equate American patriotism with fidelity to those currently in charge of the nation. I'm a moderate, hate Bush and his crew and adhere to western democratic ideals concerning human rights. And guess what? I'm also a patriotic American. I believe in equal rights for all human beings regardless of race, gender, religion or creed and that it's my DUTY as a citizen to criticize the U.S. when I feel it's in the wrong.
Now, explain to me how I'm similar to a Nazi.
I feel filthy even having to lower myself to such a debate.
Relativist jackass. -
Seeing the trailer before The Spiderwick Chronicles, there were a lot of people in the audience who didn't even know there was a new Indy movie coming out. Most who knew about the trailer saw it online instead. The trailer got applause afterward and people was genuine excitement about it. That's the thing that's sets it apart from Star Wars. Most people, adults and kids love the Indiana Jones movies. With the Star Wars movies it's mostly "owned" and loved by us geeks and grown up children of the last generation. Everybody likes the Indy movies, especially RAIDERS. Mainstream moviegoers might not obsess about them like we do but they all generally love it and would want to see a new one.
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before the prequels, Star Wars was almost universally loved. It wasn't worshipped by the public like it is by geeks, but it was loved. If you want a property that is "owned" by geeks- look no further than star trek.
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Just curious.
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Being patriotic doesn't mean that you blindly follow your govt no matter what they do. Look at the civil war, that is partiotism, people fighting for what they believe is right when injustice abounds. I also hate Bush and I don't support the war and I let it be known because I believe that american can be a great country and it once was, however in the past 7 years things have slid the wrong way, and I feel that it is my responsiblity to try to show how I believe it is wrong
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Feb 18, 2008 11:18:39 AM CST
I've seen plenty of trailers with guns pointing at people!
by kungfugazi
Not only does Speed Racer have guns being pointed, they're also firing, and Speed Racer is going for a "G" rating. This is pure Spielberg, not the MPAA. Remember E.T. redux? This movie looks BAD, Ford looks bored out of his mind in the trailer. What a shame...
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totally different subject matter.
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we open on a simmering road, the visage of someone walking towards the camera. Finally we focus on Ford's iconic hat and whip at his side. He has been practicaly altertered to look 20 years younger and he has a look on his face of excitement. He is carrying 2 Uzis and is firing them blindly into a crowd of aliens/ghost/robots/nazis. You hear his whip crack(but not too much as to take away from the iconicness of the 'whip' sound). Shia appears but only for 3 seconds when we see his face explode in a rain of blood and gore and he appears no longer in the movie. Cate is taking 2 large dongs in the bum and vag while spouting out things like "temple of poon". Indy staps on his rocket skates and flies towards the camera, winking at us. We see scenes of him killing natives, digging up an alien ship, which Predators come out of, Indy swings from vines only using his prehensile penis. Everything is so quick cut that you aren't sure if this is an indy trailer or a Tide with bleach commercial. It ends with the title and the remixed version of the theme song featuring Akon and T.Pain as short round writes the words Crystal Skull in sand with Marions sagging nipples. Fade to black
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I'm really looking forward to this movie but after seeing this trailer and hearing little bits and pieces I'm a little concerned. The good thing is this is ONLY a little teaser so I'll take it for what it is.If this movie ends up being really silly then this could really be the turning point for Lucas. I think the general public might turn on him.
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But they have seen and enjoyed the Indiana Jones movies. Also I think the classic SW trilogy is actually now EVEN MORE beloved because of how people were disappoined with the prequels, ironically.
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Sci-Fi does carry a stigma. But I actually thought Star Wars had transcended it, unlike Trek.
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I think Star Wars is universaly accepted by people who haven't seen any other SF stuff. I know tons of people who usually only watch action/comedy but still like Staw Wars. Trek is just too sci-fi for most people though. The only time it came close was when First Contact came out
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go Fuck yourself...I was trying to be nice.
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Anytime I bring up SW to people these days they just complain about how Lucas changed this added that. I'm talking about the original movies too. I know I love the originals just as much as ever but I think the public is just to confussed about the whole thing these days and I believe that will catch up to him. Maybe sooner than later is this movie is silly.
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I'm one of those folks who the prequel caused me to dislike the OT. I still think they are good movies, but my love for them has waned and I doubt other than showing my children them some day that I will ever watch them on my own. Phantom Menace really pissed me off and I just can't feel the Star Wars love anymore
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that teaser is the stuff Uwe Boll's dreams are made of.
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i just tried to think (in my flu rattled state) what could be TB proof, but I'm sure someone would think it wasn't 'double penetration-y' enough or something
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You are not alone on that. I know a lot of people feel that way and it's totally understandable. Thats the reason I think Lucas' credablitly is on the line with this movie.
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With Star Wars prequels people had to be asked to accept new characters or different versions of old characters. At least with Indy it's the same character played by the same actor that people like, with recognizable icons like the whip and fedora. did at the end of the ROCKY BALBOA character
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I think it just came out of my love of Star Wars growing up. How much time I had invested in it. The magic I had felt watching those movies as a kid. When the SE of the OT came out I still loved just getting to see them all in the theater(even though I didn't like a lot of what Lucas added) so i got really hyped to see the new ones. And when I finally did see Menace, I remember going home that night, trying to convince myself that it was a good movie just because I wanted to love it so much. But my better judgement won me over and I just all out hated that movie and what it seemed to stand for(ie making lots of money by losing the spirit of what made the originals great). I know a lot of people say that they hate ROTJ, but what is better in that movie than all of the prequels put together, is a least in Return you get to see an girls nipple before she gets eaten by a monster. Nipples are way better than the PT
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which is what I meant.
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for being the only sumbitch to sort-of answer my question! all you other guys are obviously not nerdy enuf. ;) how's the lawnchair haps?
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I really think they could've done another 2-3 Indie films by now. After all, the scripts aren't, ahem, the holy grail, they're just well done f-u-n. Now as I near the half century mark, I have no issues with an older Indie, etc.
The rants here over trailers is always a hoot. And this Indie 4 trailer has me looking forward to the film. In fact, I'd rather see this than last year's hype-of-brilliance fests like No Pacing for Old Directors (sloowww and not even close to the brothers' best) or There Will Be Ponderous Movie-Making or Michael Yawndom.
And the Shia kid doesn't bother this elder (though we'll see in the entire movie). He was likeable in Transformers, much better than the One Tree Gossip Girl guys in Cloverfield (walked out, asked for money back) though not as much as Megan Fox who of course had me feeling like a Cranky Old Lusty Man. -
but they ate their words and wept like in the good ol' days (I sure did) when the movie ended.
Indy ain't emotional stuff but if the movie is good enough to make people SMILE when coming out of the theater then it's a worthy Indy movie. Very few people smiled at the end of TPM, for sure... -
The problem isn't pointing a gun at someone, it's turning a gun on someone. Very subtle distinction, and frankly I think the MPAA is insane, but it is what it is.
PS: Glad to see Godwin's Law came into play. -
Spielberg and Kaminski watched the first three films at an Amblin screening room to study Slocombe's style. "I didn’t want Janusz to modernize and bring us into the 21st century," Spielberg said. "I still wanted the film to have a lighting style not dissimilar to the work Doug Slocombe had achieved, which meant that both Janusz and I had to swallow our pride. Janusz had to approximate another cinematographer’s look, and I had to approximate this younger director’s look that I thought I had moved away from after almost two decades."
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I thought the final shot of Palps was great. And the Saber Duel was awesome. Heck, the end of the movie made me forget about the crappy 3/4s of the movie that came beforehand.
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I know this is totally differant than the PT but if that silly vibe that was in TPM ends up in this new Iniana Jones movie the general movie going public is really going to start to notice and stop going to these things. Then the powers that be might finally sit back and rethink their buisness plan.
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Hey I'm sure someone has thought of this, but the American flag was probably a sarcastic remark made by the filmmakers for the absolutely stupid MPAA requirements. "American land of the free" haha what a joke. etc etc
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Were you talking to me? Did I really help you with a tech question? Wow thats crazy I'm the last person to talk to about computer tech stuff.
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That's why I was really disheartened when I heard they were scraping Darabont's script. That's a man who knows how to walk the line of nostalgia without leaping into the corny.
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I love that scene too. There are some things about each of those PT movies that I love. I just feel like some of the stuff was put in so they could sell video games and stuff.The thing is, eventually it is going to catch up to them. The only thing that will get them to change is $$
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For some reason I'm getting the vibe that somehow somewhere during this film things are going to be explained that don't need to be explained. Like maybe the ghosts at the end of Raiders,or something to that effect. Kind of like the Force was explained to us in TPM.
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seriously, if you are a real fan of Star Wars, and you just give Lucas a pass with what he did to the force, that is some low shit. Effectivly he just took 20 years of something that didnt need to be explained, something spiritual, something with more depth, and just turned it into bacteria, that is some fucking bullshit
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I believe Lucas did it as a giant fuck you to all the wannabe Jedis on the planet Earth. "Why can't I be a Jedi?" "You have no Midichlorians, dude. They only existed a long time ago in a galaxy far far away."
Frankly, I blame the EU for a lot of the shit we saw in the PT. But then again, I blame the EU for global warming, so I may not be the best arbiter of that assignation. -
I can understand how after years of people blabbing to you over and over about something you made 20 years ago that you would get sick of it, but at the same token, why even make prequels if you are tired of the material? Why shit in the face of the people who made you famous and who actually care about your 'space opera'.
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I think to the general public they just hear that line in TPM and think "that was dumb" and move on. But over time and enough "that was dumb" moments people start to catch on. The thing is these guys like Lucas are in a league of their own cause of what they have done. For them, there is no real competition in their arena of movie making. They have nothing to fear so they can cut cost and do whatever they please. But, I really believe if this movie comes off dumbed down and turned into a video game the public's not going to buy it any more.
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I think Lucas has never been comfortable with people using The Force as a Religion or registering as a Jedi in their religious affiliation. I think he was looking for a way to (hopefully) get people to embrace reality, rather than the fantasy he had created onscreen.
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To those complaining about "trailer bashing": Are we not allowed to criticize something, only because it isn't widely recognized as important as other things? I don't wanna know about the "useless crap" you talk about with your friends. Trailers are almost an own film genre. Some make you believe that what you will see is the best film ever made and some just...don't. This is one of the latter category. And it's not even very hard to see why it is not trailer magic.
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you didn't say how the lawnchair army is doing!klo, did you go home yet? you realize you're just spreading the plague in your office, right? tell the man 'up-yours' and go home to bed!!
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I think Lucas knew he was going to have explain some things in the PT. You know people were asking him about this and that all the time. So he just lumped the Force into that pile on his desk of things to do while writting the script. I really think he was that out of touch
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yeah, I'm still at work. I have so much shit to do here it's not even funny. but I'm off tomorrow, so a quick doctor's visit, and it's in bed all day (or more likely in couch all day watching movies)
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make sure you're stocked up on sick movies, those being the movies you wouldn't ordinarily watch while well but somehow make you feel better when you're feeling lousy. bad 80s movies are my personal fave, but when i had the peh-neumonia the other week i also re-watched all of BSG, which was pretty satisfying.
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I had 2 surgeries(emergancy)on my intestines about a year ago, had about 12 feet removed, this was the 6th time I'd had surgery for my intestines. So I spent a lot of time in the hospital and at home. I had a huge collection of b-horror to keep my spirits up. The gore factor was also better because I actually got to witness someone pull my stomach open and put their hand inside while I was awake and on no pain meds. So it made it a little more easy to accept the shit that I had to go through when I got to see people get their heads cut off with hedge clippers :)
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Respect to those who support my take on this. The irony is that I won't know for sure if my prediction turns out to be correct because I have not the slightest inclination to actually see the movie. But after seeing this trailer, I'm 100% certain I'm right. And of course, I'll enjoy watching the flame wars right here on AICN after the movie's release. God, how I will laugh as the apologists rehash all the old excuses ("But it's for kids!", "at least it's better than Crusade!", "The CGI is WAY better than the old effects!", "Shia le Boeuf was FUNNY!" etc etc etc.But putting aside how the movie turns out: I've watched this trailer a few times now and showed it to some people - and the more I think about it the more surprised I am at how underwhelming it all is. It's all a bit half-hearted, isn't it? It actually looks like one of those amateur fan trailers on youtube. I mean, this is our first glimpse of an iconic hero in over two decades..... Is this the best they can do? By contrast, look at the Phantom Menace teaser (link way above). IT ROCKS! Even though I KNOW how that turkey turned out, I'm STILL excited by the teaser! Look at it! It's amazing! And it's nine years old.But with the Indy teaser, I'm watching it, thinking: "Oh, Indy's invulnerable now - he can slam into a moving truck no problem," "Oh, they're using a skinny teenage stuntman for Ford this time," "Oh they're making it into a Naked Gun style comedy," "Oh, they should've got Ford to say that line louder and with more emphasis," "Oh, it's like the Brady Bunch this time, with Poppa Jones, Momma Jones, baby Jones and Father-in-law Jones. Now what other re-heated franchise does that remind me of?" etc etc etcThen I remember that Spielberg and Ford HATED (Lucas' words) the story on which the script is based. They hated it for YEARS. And that in the end they were forced to shoot this script or nothing. I'm betting their hearts just aren't in it any more. And that explains the strange lack of enthusiasm in the footage they've put out. It's like they don't even care about their own movie.
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Yeah, that didn't work out to well. About 4am Saturday night the SWAT team was called in while we were sleeping. They turned the fire hose loose on us and then took us downtown and tried to book us for trespassingI'm not sure how all of it started but apparently earlier that night a fight broke out between the SW line and the Welcome Home Roscoe Jones line. Needless to say one of the jedi's in line pulled his light saber in self defense and it was all over after that. The manager came out yelling at US and told us to leave. Of course we stayed so I guess he called the police. I really can't say to much more at this point, but I'm suprised you didn't see anything about it on TV. I know the news media was there.
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Geeks movie's not out yet. Wait till it is then bitch...
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I KNEW the movie would suck BEFORE the trailer ever came out - just like I KNEW The Phantom Menace would suck back in 1999. The Indy trailer just confirmed it for me. I mean, if the makers can't be bothered to put some life into the trailer for THEIR OWN MOVIE, why should we be bothered going to see it?
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mr. j, that is fucking brilliant. i didn't see anything on the news because a)i was at a wedding and b)i haven't had my tv plugged in for a year so the only news i get is on the guardian website, so i only learn about kenya and whatever arsenal's doing that day. but holy crap, that's one for the ages. i hope you guys all band together and seek some sort of revenge, seriously. and i also hope everything was got on tape and you can film the revenge and make a doc out of it and sell it and get even MORE revenge!hey xi me dear, how's tricks cowboy?
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Well, hang in there. It's just simple buisness. If you make a bad product then people will stop buying it. It's going to be interesting to see how this movie turns out. If it's as bad as you're predicting then I think word of mouth will get around quick and people will be done with Lucas. Actually it might be the best thing for him.
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Nope, I'm Irish, so I hate the British too :P K that was a joke...I don't really hate the British, I'd wish they'd awknowledge their own brutal history but thats a different story lol
And DocPazuzu...read my posts again, notice the sarcasm? Notice where I said I wasn't implying that America was like Nazi Germany? Or where I predicted that you'd overreact?
Seriously, there's no conflict here, I just said there are similarities between the views on patriotism. Not that they're the same. And the ultimate point isn't whether the styles are similar, it's about what you do with that patriotism, and therein lies the difference. -
That idea of people not buying bad product, especially when it comes to movies, makes no sense...Fantastic Four, transformers, Meet the Spartans...the list of terrible movies that people went to see again and again is endless.
And Merriman...just out of curiosity...you're not known as "Educator" on another site, are you? -
for giving me that much needed smile
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I'm not ashamed to admit it. Yes, Jar Jar was over the top, but overall it was a good, fun movie that would be right at home in the 1930's, which is what Lucas was trying to do in the first place.
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So it's okay to show a fireball engulfing the soldiers, but not guns being POINTED at someone? The MPAA is absurd.
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Yeah we are planning a revenge of the Jedi march on the theater.
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xi, you know me so well. today i am sewing frakking donkey tails. i have sunk to the very depths of my abilities here, people. the day will come when i will rise above, but today...is not that day.merriman, i want to respect you because your handle indicates a love of one of my favorite books of all time, but it really seems like you're now arguing a point just because you don't want to concede any alternative possibilites.
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as michael bay would say. mr. j, you show 'em. those pimply-faced masturbators running the popcorn stand had better back the fuck off!
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As I recall, it was about ten days AFTER TPM opened that I actually got to see it - in an almost empty theatre. I probably would have seen it on opening weekend except that I was busy moving from one country to another. However, I arrived in time to get the full TPM fallout. I remember telling a friend that I was going to see it that evening only for him to stare at me in disbelief. "You do realise that everyone hates it, don't you?" he said. Of course I had known this before the movie was released and set my expectations very, very low. But the movie didn't even reach them!Ha ha! Well, can I borrow your fedora, please? Just to wear out and about, you know. But there's no way I'm wasting my time and money on this movie. I'd much rather you see it for me and then tell me how much it sucks. Then you can have your fedora back.
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which is why it bombed at the box of...wait a sec...no it didn't...Lucas must have bought out the screenings himself, because there's no way that people could have actually enjoyed it...
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"I KNEW the movie would suck BEFORE the trailer ever came out..."Hmmm. Have you met fellow Talkbackers Ringwearer9 and I am Batman (aka moviemack)? You guys should start a Pre-Hate Guild or something.
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Nope, I'm the one and only Merriman - never met this Educator gentleman - though I do believe I am schooling some people here, heh, heh.What alternative could I possibly concede? This movie is a joke, from first to last. I am so confident that this movie will suck that I am prepared to give a verdict on it WITHOUT EVEN SEEING IT. And I am so certain that I am right that I don't even need to see it at all to find out if I was right or not. The odds are just so heavily in my favour. Do I need to list the reasons again? Do I really need to do that?
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earlier today
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Well you are right about people going to stupid movies over and over again. But right now Lucas and his brand are the biggest of the big, king of the hill. All I'm saying is if this movie ends up being kind of silly like some of the other movies he's made lately then maybe they won't be the top of the top anymore. Don't get me wrong I'm going and I'm excited but I'm just a little concerned about some of the things I've been hearing.
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You lack the courage of your convictions. Again, I ask you point blank: How is my patriotism similar to that of Nazism?
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I will let you sit here and make claims that you are all-knowing about the failure of a movie you haven't seen, but you have to do me one thing. When this movie comes out, don't post in a TB about it. Because we now know your opinion and we shouldn't have to hear about what you think of a movie you haven't seen. So keep spouting your crap, but in a couple of months I don't want to see you on here. Alright. Good
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Uh...do you guys not remember the originals? While midichlorians didn't appear in those films, Lucas actually developed the idea back when he was writing the first Star Wars and even had the name. It just never made it into the films.
Also, it's hardly surprising that there are midichlorians anyway...the originals had already shown that there was a biological connection to the Force by virtue of the fact that Force potential was hereditary.
"The Force is strong in my family. My father has it, I have it and my sister...has it."
The Force has always had a biological connection, not jst in the prequels, so I think people need to get over their hatred of midichlorians, it's a logical premise based on what we know from the originals. -
Don't recall those posters - but as you point out I am far from being the only one who has figured out the truth. You've just got to turn off your blinkers, switch on your brain, think for yourself, wait five seconds and...........you KNOW the movie will suck CRYSTAL BALLS.
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Now your're scaring me, I ate that popcorn everyday!
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merriman, the alternative you could concede is that the film might possibly be good enough that some people would enjoy it. whether or not those people are the kind of mongoloids you seem to think WOULD enjoy this film remains to be seen, but how about that?
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...vanished for ages after Batman Begins opened, Merriman will disappear if Indy turns out to be good. He will never admit to being wrong or even seeing the film. He will either come back much later and with much less bluster or he will simply come back under another name.
The real question is why NoDiggity hasn't weighed in yet. -
Must I go OVER this yet AGAIN. When you type SPECIFIC words in CAPS it makes you RIGHT. MNG is right, you do need to form a PRE-HATE GUILD. You can print up t-shirts and cards. It'll be fun.
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Just a day of rest tomorrow?
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DocPazuzu, re-read my posts. I didn't say that yor particular version of patriotism is like wha the Nazi's practiced, just that the general idea of Patriotism in the US, specifically those who demand that you fall into line behind your leader, just because he is the leader, the ones who endorse teaching pledges of allegiance in school, or say if you dont support the war, you're not a patriot...the right wing conservative assholes who get airtime on Fox. That's who I'm talking about.
Dude, seriously, I wasn't trying to attack you...I do have some problems with US policies in various areas, but I have nothing but respect for the country itself. -
Xiphos, your previous one was better. Don't slip please.Holy smoke, Kloipy, I had no idea you were so annoyed. Of course - of course I'll stop typing right away.Not post? Are you mad? I will be right here in the middle of the flame war, dukin' it out with the best of 'em. And you KNOW which side I'll be on. Man, I'll be leadin' the charge.
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Those posters are very peculiar and distinct individuals who appear to have been spawned by the same cesspool of hate. If you're not familiar with them, there may yet be hope for you.Well, as far as INDY4 goes, the proof will be in the pudding. And if the film turns out to be good/worthwhile (and you actually see it), I expect you to return to these here Talkbacks and eat a rather large serving of CRYSTAL CROW.
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Hey man, hope you had a good weekend. Yeah I've come down with the flu, but I'll be getting some rest tomorrow and some meds. Can't afford to take off too much time as I am always busy at work, but I'll see how it goes. I went to work with a wound vac attached to my belly, I can make it through a flu :)
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But maybe that means he's a nazi then. Vadakin X, can we have review please? :-)
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I'm just getting over my sinus infection and cough. I'm thinking, and all respects to Occula, you watch a few movies from the best of '82 list.
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Which once again proves you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
If you're going to fall into the trap of Godwin's Law, then you're going to have to be prepared to answer for it. -
as you wont see the movie so your opinion is moot
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I think people have a nostalgic view of Raiders, where they think its something it wasnt...Raiders was full of jokes and one-liners and crazy stunts. Granted, in Crusade, the tone was lighter, but the basic elements of Indy have been the same throughout the three films and it looks like it will be the same for the new one.
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Will you see this movie if it gets overwelming great reviews?
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It's been too long since I've watched Creepshow, I need to catch that one again. "Meteor shit!"
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"Thou shalt increase your drippy whoreness by typing unnecessarily in CAPS and make up your mind about a movie way before anyone else, trailers and actual movie be DAMNED."
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Not until he tries to exterminate every copy of Indy 4 and tries to invade the Skywalker ranch. :P
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Answer for what? Did I call you a Nazi? No. Did I say that american patriotism is the same as in Nazi Germany? No. I said there are similarities...there are also similarities between Bush and Hitler but that's a different story.
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Now you made me feel guilty and I had to put my vader mask back in the closet.
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wanted to imagine.
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TOO SOON!
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Carlos Beltran (let me just watch strike 3 zoom by without getting the fucking bat off my shoulder..yes still fucking bitter 2 years removed) just declared the Mets would win the division this year. I say it's 50/50 they'll blow it.
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The horror...the horror...
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altho, klo, you can always mix quality - wrath of khan, best little whorehouse in texas - with shite - last american virgin, et al. ok, maybe my examples are a bit skewed. don't forget to watch the blade runner final cut too!
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FUCK YOU LUCAS! FUCK YOU UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE!
Spielberg, man you better save this shit or you can expect a giant stone ball up your ass, with all those damn poisonous darts glued on it for good measure! I say that with love, mind you! -
Well yours, sir, will be a hoot! Because you'll either eat humble pie and admit you were disappointed - and I shall remind you of your words today - and make you eat them! Or you will become a firmly-entrenched apologist-hater. In which case, I shall do battle with you. AND I'll be carrying the American flag - which means you're a traitor (if you're American) or a terrorist (if not).Fine words, Occula, but I must reveal a simple truth to you. I try to remain polite, but deep down I can't help but have a certain amount of contempt for anyone who is going to pay money to see this movie. I know I shouldn't, but that's how things stand. I believe that as human beings we should THINK for ourselves - and not respond to the carrots dangled in front of us like dumb animals. Fact: Lucas sees all of us as little money machines. He pushes our buttons; we spit out money. Fact: the movie will suck. So don't go.
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You made a sordid, ill-informed, ignorant, offensive, clumsy and myopic insinuation which you are now trying to slither out of.
The "similarities" you're referring to could be attributed to virtually dozens of countries but you chose to make the off-handed connection between the U.S. and Nazi Germany for a reason. -
that really is quite beautiful hahaha
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Those are some good suggestions as well
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Many here have LOADS of contempt for you.We will go see this movie based upon the preceding three movies (which everyone loved/liked to varying degrees) and to what we have just seen in the trailer. Does that mean it will kick ass? No, but we are hoping that we get another quality Indy adventure. FACT: Xiphos is correct, you do enjoy reading the shit you spew out. FACT: Your opinion is moot like Kloipy said.
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Even if I didn't like the movie your opinion isn't valid because you haven't seen the movie. What you are doing is called 'speculation'. You also seem to forget that there is a possiblity that this movie will be good(i know shocking!)but you won't get an answer out of me because I refuse to answer to anyone who uses the phrase 'will be a hoot'
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i myself don't necessarily think lucas sees us as money machines. he is, after all, a pioneer in working outside the system, and whether or not we all think ILM is the evil empire, it's still a model of independence from control. and don't forget, lucas doesn't dangle carrots. he traffics in jungian archetypes that are as respected storytelling tools as any others. he may not be the best writer or filmmaker out there but 'pushing buttons' isn't really the right phrase to use; it's more that he taps into deep-seeded responses to the effects these kinds of stories and characters have on us.
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And though the Mets have big question marks in a couple of outfield positions, on paper, their starting pitching would be stronger. If senior cockfighter is back to being Pedro of 3 years ago, him and Santana are best two in league. Perez and Maine are solid starters who have won big games and won 15 games apiece. You guys want Delgado? We'll just want some beer, doesn't even have to be cold.
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Xiphos - better. The dog was a nice touchJLo - Not a chance, not a CHANCE this will turn out good. Look at the odds. And that trailer - God I actually think this might be even WORSE than I could imagine! And I can imagine it being PRETTY BAD! Having said that, I caught Rocky Balboa on TV lately and was astonished to find that it was actually pretty good! So just between you and me (don't tell the others) if EVERYONE was shouting that it was GREAT - and I do mean GREAT - I'm talking as good as Raiders Of The Lost Ark - then I would go and see it and crawl back here to eat humble pie. If course I can say this because I'm so absolutely 100% CERTAIN that the movie will be a turkey. I mean, did you see that trailer?
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Kloipy-bringing a lame dick joke into the TB by saying Lucas is Jung like a horse
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No...do you? How hard it can be?
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klo, even through the haze of the bubonic plague, you know how to compliment a lady AND spin a witty bon mot. well done, sir.
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(and by some I mean those who reasonably dislike the trailer rather than a film they have yet to see), is because it doesn't give us a linear storyline. This didn't bother me since I'm trying to avoid major spoilers as much as possible (a futile task I know) and because I hate it when a trailer shows the entire film. That being said, the best parts of the trailer are when Indy says "Not as easy as it used to be" and his sly "Part time" response. I, for one, am excited.
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Checked out that link. Kinda cool. The old toys and the new KOTCS ones. Thanks.
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And then lose to the Angels in 6. I have foreseen it.
Stupid Mets. -
To say the new film will be shit based on about 45 seconds of footage is madness.
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To say the new film will be shit based on about 45 seconds of footage is madness.
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Xiphos - nah, ya lost it, man.Pillow talk, you illustrate my point nicely. Jeez, forget about the FACTS, blank out the Star Wars PREQUELS, ignore the CRYSTAL SKULLS, but leap up like a little doggy for a mediocre trailer in the hope of capturing some magic that got lost thirty years ago. Please...Jeez, Occula - I'm not referring to Lucas' "storytelling' (HA!) at all. The trailer is the button-push for these people (see Pillow Talk)
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is madness too.
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they are so underrated
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If I wanted to attack the US, there are many more straightforward topics I could have chosen. And you're right, there are many countries that the general view could apply to (though not many that are "democratic and free"). But you've overreacted from the beginning. You saw the word nazi and jumped down my throat, and I haven't backed out of anything. I said in the beginning there were similarities, and I still say it now, but I never said that the US is Nazi germany. You need to calm down.
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just because you didn't find enjoyment in the trailer(or perhaps anything for that matter) doesn't mean that other people can't geniunly like it
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Would I promote him as the scrappy Indy that audiences know and love? Well, yeah. I hear what you're saying, but I guess my point is that, from a marketing perspective, I would want to assure audiences that they're getting a new Indy films that's in the exact same spirit as the preceding films that they love. Most of the trailer does exactly that, it's only that heavy-handed intro section that drops the ball. I dig the trailer and I appreciate the fact that they're building this up as a major event rather than just enough blockbuster, but I would've loved to have seen an intro thats a bit more true to what Indy is about. These are nitpicks, of course.
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What the hell is that American flag doing in the trailer? Makes no sense...
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As someone stated earlier, the flag is an establishing shot. The warehouse footage indicates that some of the movie takes place in the good 'ol Us of A.
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US of A....
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This really is amazing. I believe the old guy might still have some mojo left. But you can not ingnore the growing phenomenon of Lucas bashing. Its not just here. I honestly only have a few friends that like the PT. Most people I know do not like them at all. The ones that do like it don't love them either. Of course people go cause it's Star Wars but I dont' think that will last much longer.
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I think the flag is there to show that he's at a U.S. base
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Can I exempt you from the 'contempt' remark I made earlier in reference to people who are giving money to Lucas?You're right about the Lucas backash - I think that after this movie is released, he should seriously think about watching his back. Like many have been saying, there's only so much of this shit people can take. I think he's in danger of coming to a nasty end.
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obviously you've never been to - or seen - skywalker ranch. it is a fortress. lucas could disappear into it and never be seen nor heard from again, like j.d. salinger or thomas pynchon.
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he's always missing that brass ring
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klo, have you taken some kind of herbal remedy that is blowing your mind wide open? coz you are the prince of the zingers this afternoon.
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Xiphos - yeah, it's good, but I'm afraid you'll let me down again, or get bored and stop.Mr. Jlo, if that's the only reason, I'd be very surprised. A flag isn't just a Geograpical marker. Any film-maker knows it's a powerful symbol - especially when it's shown full-frame like that. Ordinarily, Spielberg knows exactly what he's doing and expertly chooses each shot (unless, as I believe in this case, he just doesn't care). And if it's so important to indicate WHERE in the world this base is, why has it been taken out of the European trailer. I mean, the trailer definitely doesn't NEED the flag - it can survive perfectly well without it. No, my feeling is that it is there to push the patriot button and lure Americans into the theatres. And the reason they've done this is because they've got NOTHING ELSE to offer in the movie itself and need to pull the wool over the eyes of the domestic audience.
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I always find it interesting when people say that most people they know hated the prequels...what does this tell us? That the internet community is just a fraction of the audience. the prequels made tons of money at the cinema and on dvd...so lots of people must have liked it.
The internet community tends to be very vocal about their hatred, while the millions who liked it, are content to just watch them. -
perhaps for a trained op like you, xi...but for the unwashed bitter masses...a friend of mine from school works at ilm. she told me a funny story of some rabid fanboy during the PM days who managed to get to the gate of the ranch wearing his homemade jedi outfit. the kid waved his hand jedi-style at the camera and yelled 'you WILL let me in' and within seconds an armed guard appeared, grabbed him and threw him into a vehicle. somebody brought the footage to ilm coz it was so funny. i'm sure there are countless other examples like that, i just like that one coz of the production value. ;)
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I think it's the fever in my head. But seriously for some really funny shit go check out what pillow, Jarv, abom, and me did in the "Oh My God! It's James Bond!" TB, there is some classic stuff in there
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35561 -
It's a great score, calling it "elevator music" is just tasteless folly. The map room theme would have been an off choice for the beginning of this trailer in my opinion because it's the Ark of the Covenant's theme, a little recognizably so, and more importantly it is a little more forboding than what I think they were going for with this intro. Probably the Grail Diary theme from Last Crusade would have been more in step with it--but once again it is a recognizable theme and I get that they were trying to avoid muis that was too recognizable (not saying I agree with that approach at all though). But please, stop praising one great artist by attacking a new but still worthy one.
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thanks again for all the kind thoughts and cure tips. I'll see you all soon
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I respect your position on this. And I think it's important that someone represent the other side. This might be the point where Lucas really looses the masses.
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I'm one that really really likes ROTS, almost love it. I know it's not saying much but none of my friends like it and it is very rare for me to meet someone that likes it. Thats' why I'm here. When you get down to it you're right it does not mean much it just makes me think about it. And I think a lot of people went to the Star Wars movies cause it was Star Wars.
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Ya know I hear alot of snotty remarks about the 70's. But oh yeah thats when Jaws, Star Wars, the Godfather movies and more came out. And PLUS WE WERE NOT AS SISSFYED TO ERASE GUNS OUT OF A TRAILER!!! Its not the libs and the cons that are killing america its those PC outrage mongers who want everything safe on both sides. Gahhh! Wake me up when we become cool agian. Ill take the 70's over the lame ass new centry anyday of the week.
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By the way I hear you on the flag. I'm just guessing at this point. The trailer looks a little strange but we've all ready been though that.
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Not really. War of the Worlds was a little "meh" to me, script wise. But I enjoyed the writing of Spiderman, I really did like Zathura (I realize that apparently nobody else did). I enoyed Stir of Echoes, I liked Mission: Impossible all right. Carlito's Way? Was that that bad? I liked Death Becomes Her. The first Jurassic Park. Didn't care much for Toy Soldiers.
Even most of the stuff I don't care for was "pure shit". I don't think that's the biggest issue. -
Is it wrong to use The Secret to make the Indy 4 movie so great, that it makes Merriman look like a total douche?
I've already purchased a 'Merriman looks like a total douche" t-shirt form cafepress, so this will make it become real. -
http://tinyurl.com/2oh286
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Feb 18, 2008 4:36:50 PM CST
Saw the trailer online, but then caught it full
by grammaton cleric binks
size last night when I saw Jumper. I don't know the other reviewers were talking about. This was a fun popcorn flick, neither main jumper character was a "cast iron douchebag," and it had some great fight scenes. It's no monument to filmaking, but it was escapist fun. Isn't that what movies are supposed to be about?
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I haven't seen it yet, how is the acting in it? Or how is Anakin's acting? better or worse than his other performances?
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The trailer does seem a little "meh", a little amateurish, but the pacing problems are with the trailer, not the footage. Nothing about the footage concerns me, at all. The trailer just wasn't "all that". Big deal. Happens all the time.
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Life as a House. Let's just say he's his ususal brooding self. I liked him better in house. Thing is this character has a right to be brooding so I guess it's a good fit. I really liked Bell, and the only thing I've seen him in is Billy Elliot. As he was a kid then I really can't compare the two. SLJ redeems himself from Snakes, but again he's his usual bad mo fo don't mess with me self. That's a good thing although someone will always say he phones in those roles. A couple of plot holes, but nothing that won't be overlooked except by nitpickers. I would have liked more details on the history of jumpers, and Sam the Man's agency. Let's just say the door is open for a sequel, and maybe we'll learn more then. Again, this was just a fun popcorn flick, nothing more, nothing less. I'm curious to read the book now to see the differences whether big or little.
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was genius. No shitty websites to look for.
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then it's okay.
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Cool man, sounds like it's good for a fun night out then. I was just curious about HC cause I have not seen him in anything other than Star Wars and he gets such a bad rap for that role. My theroy is that it's not completly his fault. Anyway thanks
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So Rocky Balboa beat the odds to become a good movie but this film will unreservedly be a Phantom Menace style catastrophe? You could have just as convincingly argued using cherry-picked "facts" (opinions) that Stallone peaked 30 years ago, that he was too old, that the last film(s) in the series was/were unredeemable tripe and so forth and so on. You acknowledge that, yes, miracles can happen. Sequels to old franchises can, if not top or equal their forebears, at least hit the mark and provide entertainment to their fanbase and a mainstream audience. They can provide fun and reconnect loyal followers to the character they loved and all without sullying the good name of series (franchise, cash cow, whatever). _____________You and others think this trailer is terrible - not iconic enough, too jokey, too modern, too slow, badly cut, poorly cast, poorly scored, jingoistic, isn't this, isn't that. Some of us disagree. We believe that Skull, like Rocky Balboa, has actually got a shot. We are not all, in your words, "brainless" "fanboys" and "sheep" who salivate at any moldy, scavenged vegetable Lucas dangles in our face. We're not cultists or Kool-Aid swillers and we won't cry ourselves to sleep for a year in our four-sizes-too-small Darth Maul Jim Jams if the movie's a big fat turd. We are well-adjusted, optimistic adults who enjoy a healthy, relationship with our geek sides. Do you get it yet? Can I squeeze a drop of an acknowledgment from you that we aren't *all* idiots? __________We don't hate you because of your opinion, Merriman. I disagree with Moriarty but I don't hate him, I disagree with the Prequel fans but I don't hate them. No, I hate *YOU* because you talk to all of your dissenters like children and won't acknowledge the worth of any opinion that opposes your own. ________ Anyway, you keep on posting, Sunshine. Your posts are morbid fun to read - like watching some guy seating himself in a public plaza, tipping what looks like gasoline over himself and asking passersby for a match.
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- now are you? Lucas better "watch his back", he may come to "as nasty end'? Oh, Jesus. You're losing it. Do me a favour - try and get Lucas away from any innocent bystanders before you make the shot. And don't forget to send your presskit in to all the networks like that Cho Seung-hui guy. Thou dost protest WAY too much now, Merriman. Was that the lit match I just mentioned? Has the gasoline caught?
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I think he means that his big box office days could be coming to an end. At least thats the way I took it.
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...Not even Indy swinging on his whip...something we haven't seen in 20 years? Lighten up, bro.
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Indy 4 is going to be like Phantom Menace. Can't remember what the source was for this, but he said something to that effect somewhere. I don't know what he means by the statement. Anyone care to speculate? Undoubtedly, whatever he meant by it, this is good news for some, and horrible news for others. And of course, there's always the rest of the lot who either some shade of grey, or entirely indifferent. I'm really just interested to know the source of Lucas's statement and whether anyone has some insight to it.
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"You're right about the Lucas backash - I think that after this movie is released, he should seriously think about watching his back. Like many have been saying, there's only so much of this shit people can take. I think he's in danger of coming to a nasty end."_______ You seem nice enough, JLo, so here's some advice. If I were you, I would back away slowly from Merriman, tell him you're popping out to get a soda (don't forget to offer him one or his suspicion will become aroused) then once you're out the door run like hell. Good Luck and Godspeed, buddy.
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I think it was vanity fair.
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But this site's whiny fanboy shit is getting old.
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yeah, he seems a little extreme, but I don't think he's a real threat. I kind of understand where he's coming from.anyway its not like he could get my ip addres,.could he?
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south Austin. I'm looking forward to it, but a little concerned.
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Who are the "we" you keep talking about? Are you a designated spokesperson? Or are you unable to state an opinion by yourself? Do you usually assume you speak for all fanboys? Or is it just that you feel a need to belong? You see, you assert your "independence" whilst simultaneously clinging to your idenity as a fanboy: "We believe," "we're well adjusted" (HA!), "We're not cultists,"(I LOVE that one - keep 'em coming!). Man, you sound like a scientologist. Close enough - you're a Lucas apologist - a Lucasologist (first ever usage of this term, I think! You are the first person to be designated as such - congratulations!). And here's something that will hurt you: I cannot be converted. I will NOT be handing any money to Lucas and will NOT be seeing this movie. Join me, Laserbrain, before it's too late. This is your chance to be free.
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Nice going.
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You are perfectly able to make up your own mind.
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If a single person reads my posts and decides as a result that they won't see the movie, then my time here will not have been wasted. As I've said before, why bother seeing it when the film-makers couldn't even be bothered to put together a reasonable trailer?
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Maybe you should distance yourself from the extremists then, mate. I'm on your side when you say the talkbacks would be boring if everyone thought the same but that's what Merriman wants for *this* talkback - to convince everyone to think just like him. Anyone who disagrees is automatically wrong and living in the fucking Matrix or something, all brainless automatons serving a greedy master. In one respect, he is correct - this film may be awful but as I (and unwittingly he) have argued using the example of Rocky Balboa, sometimes these old bastards can surprise us. That's not as unreasonable an opinion as Merriman seems to think it is, wouldn't you say? I can respect that you agree with his sentiments but you needn't agree with his sour and insulting tactics.
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Sure, he came up with a few story ideas, but he was just on the set walking around and talking to Harrison. That's about it.
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Anyway to the JLo who wants to catch Jumper you can make up your own mind, but like you said it ought to be a fun night out. Now, since I haven't seen your name around here too much I have one word for you. Are you ready? The word is ----Equilibrium. This is a must see. Just trust me.
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that's high art.
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Must've learnt it from you, Laserbrain. Maybe I am becoming a Lucasologist. Now let's see - let me see if I can express an independent opinion...All the indications on this movie, even from the mouth of Lucas himself, are that, are that...it WILL ROCK! Oh give the guy a chance - the movie might turn out okay....Aaaaaaagh! It's happened - you've got to me, Laserbrain. I've been turned. I'm one of you now!skywalkerfamily, so Lucas didn't have much to do with the movie? Well, how about him being the reason production was blocked for years because he was so taken by the idea of the midichlorians - I mean, the crystal skulls. Do I really have to re-tell the production history of this movie.....again? It's exhausting. Perhaps you guys are right to give in. All right then: Hail Lucas!
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I'm going to see this movie for sure. I think between Speilberg and Harrison they can pull it together. And I'll have to admit that Lucas did restore a little bit of faith for me in ROTS. I understand I might be wrong, I'm not overwelmed by the teaser but it is just a teaserThat being said I can relate to Merriman's point of view on this too. I understand the concept of taking my buisness else where. That's how I am with other aspects of my life. Thats the way I deal with buisness in my life. If I'm unhappy with the qualitly or the service I no longer spend my money with that buisness. Maybe he's a little harsh but he's passionate about it I understand that.
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I have it set up on my Ipod as JLo and my home computer as JLo III. Then I set up Mr.JLo the other day cause everyone thought I was a women. I don't know how it got so confussing sorry about that.
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He gave it to Spielberg when Spielberg said he wanted to direct a Bond movie. You post on a talkback.
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I don't think Speilberg takes any shit from Lucas, thats just the impression I get from interviews. Speilberg knows how to get emotion from actors he knows how to get the action shots. Maybe he's not in his prime but I would really be suprised if he droped the ball on this one.
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I am Sir Charge.
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He has more accolades and great movies in his resume. Lucas forgot how to direct a movie, but he does have THX 1138, American Graffiti, Star Wars, and ROTS that are great on his resume.
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You do not want to see my titties. Not worth the price of admission.
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Okay, never mind the Darth Vader screaming "No" ... he had Obi Wan letting Anakin die slowly in agony instead of mercy killing him? Not to mention that letting him live created Darth Vader and caused he untold deaths of hundreds of millions of aliens at his hands. Lucas basically choked Star Wars to death with a fucking brain fart called the Prequel Trilogy.
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So, you're saying...? Oh I get it - Lucas knows more about making a good movie than I do? Wrong. I could write a better story for this Indy movie than he could. Sounds arrogant? Not so. Because I believe YOU could also write a better Indy movie than Lucas - as could Jlo, Laserbrain and 95% of the people on this talkback. But Lucas is in charge so we get the crystal skulls
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I am Sir Charge!!
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I'd have Short Round back, kicking some wire-fu ass. And Karen Allen and Kate Capshaw together fighting over Indy. And it would involve a NeoNazi cult seeking a South America talisman that would give them the power to take over the US guvmint.
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Are you trying to get that extra $5 the goverment has added to all strip clubs?
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and it was terrific. Of course, you people think Hostel is great. More power to you.
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Ahhhhh ... Your Money!!!!
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"He killed younglings." Usually murdered children is a sad thing but that line had me cracking up.
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Palpatine would still be in power, and Obi Wan had Luke and Leia to fall back on.
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in the opera where the Emperor was talking to Anakin. Some of those lines were written by someone else (not Lucas) and you could TELL they were written by someone whose head wasn't up his own ass.
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Sir Charge is a character in the Time Warner Cable commercials. Ahh ... your money!!!
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The closing credits.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-pzBloyvAk
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VDvXaUH6NNo&feature=related -
I didn't see either movie. WTF
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an apprentice because there are always two. And he would not have been able to control the Empire without Vader as his lapdog. Remember that Vader is stronger than Palpatine. Why am I even arguing this? Lucas fucked up, period.
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ok I'm gonna just go over this once. The Jedi deserved their destruction. If they had a collective intelligence between them Windu would've waited until Yoda got back (by calling him up an sayin get your ass back to Courascant) and then gone at Palpatine full strength. Not plausible? Ok fine. When Yoda and Obi Wan are in the destroyed Jedi temple they should've gone at Palpatine together. Yoda and Obi Wan together could've taken him. Vader could've waited. Instead they divided their forces and lost.
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In fact Vader wanted Luke as his apprentice in ESB.
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Feb 18, 2008 8:48:50 PM CST
OH YEAH, IT WAS REALLY BRILLIANT OF OBI WAN AND YODA
by bringingsexyback
to "hide" Luke among ... his relatives. Like the Emperor couldn't figure that out. Yikes. What a mess. Better that the PT was never made at all.
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Feb 18, 2008 8:51:15 PM CST
I ALSO LOVED HOW MACE WINDU WALKED UP TO DOOKU AND JANGO
by bringingsexyback
and announced himself like some retard instead of killing them both Ninja style. The Jedi are the Keystone Kops of that galaxy.
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And Vader thought Padme was dead and so were the kids, so no need to look for them.
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I disagree there BSB. The Emperor isn't omnipotent. The relation between Luke and Owen/Beru is very slight, not even by blood. I highly doubt the Emperor would've made this connection at all. Vader would never return to Tatooine because of the pain he associates with the planet and his past.
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"We" refers to the people on this and the previous Indy trailer board who have optimistic expectations of this film. Expectations unclouded by too many fannish preconceptions, nitpicks and irrational hatred for George Lucas. They're around, take a look, trust me. They're the ones saying "It's just a teaser, can't you give it a chance?". Now you said you were astonished to discover that Rocky Balboa was good. I dunno, Jack, maybe this one will be astonishingly good as well. But you won't consider it - you can't Agree To Disagree with anyone. You are hell-bent on converting everyone to your opinion and deriding the dissenters as, I'll say it once more, sheep, no-brained, fanboys with no free will of their own. Shit, man, sorry to take it personally. I guess I overreacted. _______ Oh, and by the by, I am in no way a Lucas apologist or acolyte, the prequels blew goats, there's something you and I can agree on. *Eeuchh* I've got something in common with you, Merriman. I may not sleep tonight.
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In ROTJ, Palpatine instructs Vader to find Luke to turn him to the Dark Side (where Vader replies "but he is just a boy"). And Palpatine knew about Anakin's family because he knew about Anakin slaughtering the Sand People who killed his mother. And Obi Wan hiding out in plain sight as Ben KENOBI is just plain stupid. All of this would have been a non-issue if the Prequels were never made, but the mistakes were not only highlighted by the PT, but compounded with new ones. Unreal.
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I just cannot fathom Yoda's stupidity and lack in battle tactics in his decision to send Obi Wan after Vader while he attempted to defeat the Emperor. Arrogance perhaps. The Jedi had shown in the previous 2 prequels no apprehension what-so-ever at ganging up on opponents. Why Yoda broke with this tried and true technique mystifies me. Together, Yoda and Obi Wan could've defeated Palpatine then either brought Vader back to the Light Side or easily handed him his ass. This most unfortunate decision, even one Windu didn't make by bringing his 3 Jedi Masters (worthless as they were and he should've waited for Yoda and Obi Wan too), cost countless millions of lives and Jedi. Yoda deserved his swamp world.
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I stand corrected. You are correct about Sidious knowing information about Anakins family, because Palpatine served as Anakins confident for many years. Sidious used this information in his conversion of Anakin to the Dark Side. It would then stand to reason he may know of Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's existence. But, it does not stand to reason that he would have known Anakins children had survived. By the time of ESB when Vader informs Sidious of Luke (unawares of Leia mind you) Sidious is clearly doubtful and unaware of Lukes existence. So I agree with you and yet still disagree. lol. =)
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I've said just about all I want to say about this, 'cause I'm just repeating myself anyway. See ya back here after the movie's release.
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Feb 18, 2008 9:08:23 PM CST
OKAY YOU HAVE A POINT THERE, MY MIND HAS BLOCKED OUT
by bringingsexyback
a lot of Star Wars because it's so traumatic. Also, purple light saber is not canon.
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And I love it! Agree that ROTS was a worthy additon to the SW series (TPM and AOTC, not so much). In fact, it redeemed the prequel trilogy, IMO. I realize ROTS is not without flaws, though:
Showing on screen what was in Anakin's mind during his "nightmare" was a break from established form for the series- it is a visual, non-linear flash-forward and had no precedent in any of the other films.
Clunky dialogue, and some poor direction (e.g. Obi Wan: "Did I miss SOMETHING?!" should have been phrased, "Did I MISS something."
And I really could have done without the "NOOOOOoooooo....." bit, of course.
But I can overlook all of that. Jar Jar's screen time
All things considered, ROTS rocked pretty hard. -
You can point out all of the holes or whatever, I still like that one. It's a guilty pleasure I'll admit but I honestly still like that one.
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That alone puts it higher on the list (Lucas listened to the fans).
All things considered ROTS rocked pretty hard, IMHO- -
I disagree with this assertion as well. Old Ben lived at the edge of The Dune Sea, a hermit, a crazy old man. I find this meager and odd existence hardly to fit the mold of "out in plain sight." Let's not forget Tatooine isn't even part of The Empire, it's a planet in the outer system ruled by The Hutts. The Empire's presence on Tatooine was miniscule and hardly authoritative. I think Old Ben was pretty safe living out in the middle of a deserted desert on an almost deserted planet in an almost deserted area of space ruled by gangsters.
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I think that nightmare scene was put into Anakins mind by Palpatine to help set his plan in motion.
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Feb 18, 2008 9:15:26 PM CST
WELL I MEANT HE SHOULD HAVE CHANGED HIS NAME FROM KENOBI
by bringingsexyback
Palpatine could have just Googled Kenobi and found him on Tatooine. Also I thought the first 10 seconds of ROTS was going to be a start to redemption, but alas, no. I can understand how it can be forgiven for actually being better than TPM and AOTC, but still it was a real messy affair.
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I think you're right about Old Ben living in the Dune Sea. That was a fair hiding spot. But boy did he sure age out there in the desert.
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but it was a deviation from the established storytelling "rules" for the series. The other movies are all temporally linear that segment was a visual representation of another time/place. A minor beef, yes, but I was suprised to see the break in form.
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If you look in the Star Wars Almanac it is clearly stated that Google was not created until well after ROTJ. By the Whills no less.
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where Eric Roberts and Natalie Portman were hunting me down to get me to join their cult. True story.
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Why the fuck, if Leia was so sure that the Milennium Falcon was being tracked, did she simply give up her argument and let Han take the ship to Yavin IV. Colossal tactical error that unnecessarily put the rebellion at risk.
I can see where Lucas wanted to draw things to a BIG CONFRONTATION for the finale of ANH, but come on. -
By age do you mean age into a better actor? lol =) I think Ewan did a stellar job, the best in the prequels besides Palpatine and Dooku. =)
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When we finally have some FACTS about the content of film to pore over.
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I hear what you're saying about the "rules" It did feel odd to me too, but I'm guessing that was important enough to make sure we knew that Palpatine was in control of Anakin. Also on another note I read in an interview that Lucas did not show the light speed effect until ANH so kid seeing it for the first time would still have a wow factor after all ready watching 3 of the films.
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Hadn't realized that the "star drag" effect wasn't in the prequels. That's why I love AICN; always learning from other fans-
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No I just mean that it's hard to believe that Obi Wan aged that much between Episode 3 and 4. I'm just saying he looks a lot older than just 20 years. I like Ewan. Does that make sense?
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I'm 34 years old about to turn 35. I grew up on Star Wars as many of you did. Movies of that era are my favorites and what I consider classics, such as Alien, Jaws, Blade Runner, Godfather, Scarface, Indiana Jones, Big Trouble In Little China and tons more. I know that people's tastes differ of course but that's what I like.
The prequels I am not so fond of. I love the idea but the execution was not done well. To be honest I find TPM almost unwatchable. In fact, when I do watch it, it's with Rifftrax =) AOTC is good. I watch it from time to time. ROTS is great, with flaws still keeping it from being classic. The heart just wasn't in the prequels and I fear that with Indiana Jones. There was some sort of magic with the cast and crew back then on these films that just cannot be reproduced it seems, at least with Star Wars.
I'm hoping Indiana Jones will still have that magic, classic feel to it. Personally, I think it will. -
Oh yes you make perfect sense! The age difference was quite dramatic now that I think on it. I am from Arizona and look quite young for my age so I'm not sure it's the desert that would cause that.. hmmm lol. A small thing like this I just let slide I say =)
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Yeah, I agree with your last post that pretty much hits the nail on the head for me.
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Yeah it's just one of those things maybe his use of the force for a prolong period by himself in the desert made him old before his time.
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Damn Lucas.
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That is a plausible scenario and it got me thinking a bit. It may also be possible loneliness, sadness and such may have played a role. I think about stress and it's effects on US Presidents. They age remarkably fast in office! Hard tellin' in the end. Indiana Jones fared quite well though, perhaps Obi Wan should've paid a bit more heed to Han Solo's advice throughout ANH. =) Oh wait, by then he was already old! I can't be this tired this early!? haha
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You know there was probably a lot of lonely nights out there in the desert. From what Lucas has said in numerous interviews is that Obi Wan was a major alcoholic during that 20 year stretch and the bottle really took it's toll on him.
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Hadn't heard that. There is a great epilogue in one of the EU books that shows Obi at the Mos Eisley cantina as a news video comes on. It is a story on Darth Vader (in his mechanical suit), and Obi Wan then realizes, for the first time, that Anakin survived. Cool scene.
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No that alcoholic thing was just me.
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could bring one closer to the Force, eh.
Still, I did get from that scene that Obi might be at least partly plastered when he sees Anakin in the suit. He stumbles into a table or something. Maybe just from shock, though, I suppose. -
it was deathsticks
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He didn't care about anyone. He may have heard Anakin talk about his mom from Tatooine, but that was about it, since she was dead.
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He only thought Luke was his son. Palpatine didn't know about Leia, either.
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every time just ask Speilberg or better yet ask Shia
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Are you really a Gibson man? Or does that refer to some other Gibson?
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I can't get enough!
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So the fight on the rocket car while racing through the desert will happen? Sweet!
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This talkback went all Star Wars/George Lucas bashing just shows how much clout the man holds. Maybe more than the berg himself? The mind ponders!
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threads, and then laughs and rolls in his millions.
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Firstly- we do admit to our bloody and brutal history. We just don't see a need to apologise for it or be publicly flogged for it. You are massively ignorant when it comes to the British. Secondly, just because a lot of people saw TPM does not mean that they liked it. This is part of the fallacy of using BO to justify the quality of something. For example, I saw TPM twice. Once because I wanted to and then because I had to take some young relatives. I fucking hated it both times, but my £17 went into the Box Office total.
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Lucas rolls around in his cash like a Silver Age Lex Luthor. But Murdoch is Lex Luthor, so Lucas is Dr Doom, but Dr Doom wanted everyone to recoginize his genius. Lucas don't give a fuck.
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If you hate (as you should) AvP:R then this is important: That useless fucking shitrag Empire has viciously slandered us. Some cunt called Chris Hewitt has written: "Directors The Brothers Strause – Colin and Greg – apparently got the gig, their first, because they’re such huge Alien and Predator fanboys. AVP:R would indicate that they’re fanboys of the Ain't It Cool talkback variety, guileless goons crowbarring in lame references (the hero is called Dallas; someone actually says ‘Get to the chopper!’) while emphasising splatter and swearing over the suspenseful slow burn."For the full review go to http://tinyurl.com/2gg66d but I'd rather you didn't give the cunts the hits. If anyone remembers the recent AvP:R wars and the slaughtering we gave the foilage that turned out for it then please air your displeasure at the useless no-quality-control cockmonkeys via email. In fact, fuck it, anybody who thinks this is wrong- do it, let them know. But be certain to check the AICN history of AvP:R from Mori's initial slaughter of the script to vern's review and our eventual savaging of the plant life. Lying, dirty cocksuckers.
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You post that comic book shit solidly like it is a stroke of genius. I bet you bought tickets to the take That reunion tour,
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and film magazines are dead.
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John Hurt is holding it in his right hand when he's leading them round the spiral steps
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American presidents
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is in the back of the truck Indy grabs the light from
Spalko is driving that truck as he attempts to swing onto it -
uses a Podracer from TPM as the rocket
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This is only a quick Teaser... let's wait for the final Trailer.
I still have hopes for a more darker Indy film like the first one. Pleas NO MORE (too) funny Indy movies like the third!!!
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The only difference I noticed was a milli-second flash of an Indy silohuette at the end.
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If you think you saw him in the trailer, you thought wrong. God rest his Thuggee Nazi soul forever.
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I've got a bad feeling about this.
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He totally stole the "awesome" line from the Talkbacks. I'm sure this is where he got that from. Bastard.
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and my oh my did it help me feel better. So I'm off work today just chillin at home. Thanks for all the cure tips!
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How could they equate TBers with lovers of AVP:R? That movie got nothing but hate here (deservedly). I demand they explain themselves.
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Now show us your tits!!!
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less than an A cup, it's a lower case a cup
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Peekaboo! Sir Charge!
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Look at this:
https://community.hsus.org/campaign/CA_2008_investigation?qp_source=gaba89 -
I have new male role models, and their names are Burt Gummer and Earl Bassett.
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good to see you man. I'm at home today, sick with the fucking flu. Luckily everyone gave me some great tips yesterday, from alcohol to chicken-shit(which i didn't try Occula), and now I have some meds and some movies and I'm ready to relax
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hope you're feeling better
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thanks man, still feeling under the weather, but I'm taking it easy today, so hopefully this day of rest will bring we back
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and fucking Empire slandered us, bastards. I've had to hack the server to waste time at work today. What a bastard.
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I've never read Empire and I don't plan on starting to any time soon esp if they slandered you guys. I've been asked to keep tabs on my work from home. That's how fucking crazy my work is. I'm off sick but yet they are so backed up they need me to work from home
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Well, at least you can relax and watch your MegaForce DVD, right? Right?
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Thank god. I've been waiting for it for ages now.
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my parents got me the full series of The Young Ones on dvd, I think I will be watching that today under the influence of prescription meds
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I am proud to announce that, on the advice of y'all, I downloaded and watched Tremors 1 and 2 last night. I was surprised at how good they were, for B-type movies. Some clever stuff thrown in there, given that the premise is that of "Landsharks stalk desert townsfolk." Fred Ward was the shit as Earl, and of course Michael Gross was brilliant as Burt. And Bacon was great in the original, and his girlfriend geologist was the hot.
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Megaforce is only the greatest movie EVER. Well, okay, greatest next to that Italian spoof of Jaws, "Great White: The Last Shark." But there is no other hero like ACE HUNTER. Except maybe Burt Gummer. That Atlantic Hawks ballcap is WAY more cool than Ace Hunter's pastel purple headband.
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So you got to live in the shadow of the Gross for a short time. I was suprised how much I actually liked Tremors 2. It's quite a fun, stupid movie. And my man MG it rockin' the shit in that movie
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Nobody can fight the flu like ACE HUNTER and his gold lame action jumpsuit. He'll fly his motorcycle all over that fluness, and kiss his thumb.
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it was called Aliens Vs Hunter and it said AVH on the cover and had two figures that looked just a little but like another VS group. I also got quite a laugh from the cover of Dragon Wars, which has the full title and the D-Wars underneath it just in case you need to tell people you saw it you can say "Hey dude, I just watched D-Wars, and let me tell you it fucking sucks"
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To watch the first two right in a row. I also have 3 and 4, which I'll watch later this week. I'm aware that only Gross is in them, that Ward and Bacon do not return. Which is sad, but hey--if Burt is in them, then fine.
I was also kinda surprised how even though the idea was pretty cheesy, the principals were able to carry it off pretty well. Like, they took their roles seriously--but with a wink to the audience that we all know this is on ongoing joke. Some great one liners in there, like at the end of Tremors when MG bemoans the fate of his survival bunker: "A subterranean fortress able to withstand a 20 kiloton blast. Enough food for 1500 days. Water filtration. Air filtration...goddamn UNDERGROUND MONSTERS. Sigh..." -
they could have used him well in DePalma's BLack Dahlia
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about the original Tremors was when the seismologist girl took off her pants (per Bacon's command), because they should have done that in slo-mo and focused more on her legs and panties. I like when Bacon is dressing her leg wounds in Cheng's store, and Fred Ward is just sitting there leering at her. As if she could read his mind: "Yep. My boy Val there is gonna give you HIS worm."
One cool part about Tremors 2 is how they very consciously address the fact that Grady is "the new guy," and it becomes a running gag. Oh, and I want one of those pacman graboids for a pet. -
...is when an exasperated Fred Ward, while stranded on the rock, says "Doesn't it have a home to go to?!"
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is where they are in the grocery store and the guy gets dragged through the floor by the 'boids
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when I dislike a movie, I can say "It's no Tremors 2." Or if I don't like an actor, I will say "He's not exactly up there with Michael Gross, now is he?"
I saw on imdb that Tremors 4 is about the PAST, when the graboids invaded during cowboy times, and Burt's ancestor (played by MG) does his schtick. Is that one worth watching, or should I stop at 3? -
When they ask Earl (Fred Ward) who named the graboids, and he says "Cheng. An old friend. He named them. Then they ate him."
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I shall spend this week pole-vaulting through my office from desk to desk.
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I just assumed it was amazing because I believe that the Gross has the power of time travel and it isn't really his ancestor but more of a 'back to the future' type film but instead of the threat of motherly incest, it has graboids. But, even though i have yet to see it, I would assume that there will be a scene where a horse gets eaten.
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all major decisions will be determined only after a couple people have done rock-paper-scissors. And I shall attend this afternoon's meeting covered in fire extinguisher goop, so they cannot see me with their infrared.
I'm not convinced Ace Hunter would know what to do with the Graboids, other than fly his cycle over them and blow thumb-kisses on them. If he got killed, I'm sure he'd look great dying, though. Very manly. -
[Upon being introduced to Burt's anti-tank rifle]
Earl Bassett: Man Burt, you put a whole new shine on the word 'overkill'.
Burt Gummer: When you need it, and don't have it... you sing a different tune.
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is bookmarked at www.burtgummer.com
The page has nothing but a huge BW photo of MG. Because that's all a website really needs. -
that page is going in my favorites right now
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I was unaware of the existance of 3 and 4. They are getting added to the lovefilm queue. BTW Kloipy, the wife readjusted the list and we got Frida and that Piaf biography sent. AT THE SAME TIME. How unfair is that?
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I found it as a link at the bottom of Burt Gummer's wiki page. Maybe we should make some T-shirts that ask, "What Would Burt Gummer Do?"
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Soldiers of Fortune
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dude, that's some bullshit, you better make sure the next two rentals are yours. Make sure you have them playing when her friends are over
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I'd wear 9 of those shirts at the same time they would be so cool
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Wassup my wigga. I watched part of La Vie En Rose too but haven't finished it yet. It's like the Courtney Love story. I'm interested in finishing it though. I'm sure Michael Gross has a nice rack.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burt_Gummer
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It's pretty good. I don't remember Tremors much but that will be remedied soon.
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"Burt began as a very popular character after the first Tremors movie, garnering enough popularity to be one of the only two original cast-characters to make a return in the movie, and the only character to make an appearance in every Tremors movie, as well as the TV-Series. Although, Burt himself wasn't in Tremors 4, Hiram, his grandfather, was a toned-down version of Burt, so it could be assumed among fans that it's just Burt. The similarities are there, just the look and different name separate the two."
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nothing about it interests me at all. Frida, although I did quite like it first time, has no rewatch appeal. Just to get payback, I'm going to manipulate the list and get Lep: Back 2DaHood and Bride of Reanimator next. followed by Hellraiser 2 and Tremors 3, followed by Pumpkinhead 3 & 4. That'll learn her.
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the point is- you only watched part of it. This means that it is dull. Honestly, how many good films do you stop part way through?
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should get together and do a Bang Bus series. That would be awesome.
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We had to stop it early because we had to go out, but really I was pretty enGrossed by it. I'm curious to see how it ends, and Piaf is someone I knew nothing about. But she does remind me of Courtney Love.
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At least it has to be better than Sliding Doors or Brown Bunny. Both of which were on the list before I took them off.
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You should put that German Schoolgirl Report (from Harry's DVD list) in the queue. Expect some divorce papers though.
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she'll think twice before making a mistake like that again. I hope you like 'Bride' it's funny as hell
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It's 3:10 to Lunchtime
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I need that T-Rex vs Raptors sideshow thing. Anybody else love Jurassic Park? I was 10 when I saw it...It's my Raiders.
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I'm not harry. See you all, I'm off to the pub. Spread the word and get Empire properly bitch slapped for their impertinance.
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that implies that at some point we were on topic. We weren't
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no one needs that torture
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there was a TV series. Have I been living in a hole? Then again, if I HAD been living in a hole, I'd know more about graboids, and thus would be of use to Burt Gummer. I could carry his ammo and shit. It's just as well that his wife left him, because it's just that much more room for guns.
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Their genius plan in Tremors 2 for killing graboids- loading up remote controlled cars with dynamite. That's some clever thinking.
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of your movie que. You must be the master of that domain. For every movie she adds, remove it and add a porn film.
Holy shit, where'd they get this MG signed-photo of Burt? I must have one for my desk, like yesterday.
http://tinyurl.com/27bwkj -
they call them "ass-blasters". I think that in and of itself is enough to merit a spot on your top 10 list hahaha
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Ass-blasters! Genius.
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I tried to sign the guestbook but it wouldn't let me.
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I think I'm gonna go lay down for a while. I'm getting fairly drowsy. I will talk to you guys soon, have a great night
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I'm watching 3 tonight. Hold my calls.
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because of the stupid internet policy that is designed to stop people like me squandering a day. However, I am by far more computer literate than them (including IT), so I just access another terminal on the network as someone with admin priveleges. The problem is that it slows the whole thing down and is a right royal pain in the arse. Whereas she can look at what she likes. It is most unfair.
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see you later fellas
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I have to go to a meeting in a couple minutes. I'll have one of the office girls shoot me with a fire extinguisher. All this week at work I will only eat MRE rations. I will pray to 2true, Ace Hunter, and Fred Ward to make your flu go away, and I shall write Michael Gross a letter to only say the word and you shall be healed.
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its not that big a jump really. there's a 10yr gap between episodes 1 and 2...and probably 2-4 between episodes 2 and 3...so obi-wan was likely in his 30s during Sith...and then there's the 20yrs between episodes 3 and 4. that's easily over 30yrs from episode 1 to 4 which would make him somewhere in his 60s so it all works out.
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He looks older than 60s to me in ANH. Anyway if he's 30 something in 3 then he would be 50 something in 4.
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is as old or as young as he chooses to be. He can travel in time and fight graboids in dimensions no one has yet experienced.
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Sounds like a modern day Jedi
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he is a god among men
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I'm a little unfamiliar with Burt, I don't get to see a lot of art films these days.
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at all the hate this is getting. And not because I disrespect the right of people to hate it, but because I find it all so ironic.
I can't count the times I've seen people complain that this doesn't look serious enough. That it's a joke compared to the serious Indy of Raiders. But the fact of the matter is that there were people who went to see Raiders who were disappointed because they were expecting a serious adventure film and Raiders was too jokey compared to what they were expecting. My parents were among that group. It was only a few years later that they really started to like it.
I also see comments along the lines of "Don't they know what we want to see? We want to see Indy riding on a horse in the desert like in Raiders". But at the same time I see "Last Crusade sucked". Well Last Crusade had Indy riding on a horse in the desert. But what? It's too jokey? He's got his dad instead of being on his own? Well, first, it's not significantly more jokey than Raiders. I watched all three movies over the course of 2 days and I really don't see a very significant change in tone or amount of humor. There might be one or two exceptions, but I didn't have a problem with them because I could see it as realistic to the character under the circumstances. Second, Ford and Connery have awesome chemistry. If they made Last Crusade much more like Raiders it would just be "Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Rehash". I don't really want two versions of Raiders of the Lost Ark. If I want to see Raiders, I can just watch it. If I want something with a bit of a different flavor I have the other two movies ... and I thoroughly enjoy all of them.
Also, I agree with the reason someone suggested for why they didn't start the TEASER with iconic music and iconic scenes. These things are primarily intended to be seen once, at normal speed, in a theater. With that in mind, the way it is done would tend to make you say, "Wait a minute. What the hell is this? Is that...? Oh my God."
As a long-time fan who has literally seen each movie well over 100 times, if they had started with iconic Indy music from any movie, even if not the main theme, that effect would have been entirely spoiled for me. I would have recognized it in the first two milliseconds. As it is, the TEASER delays any iconic Indy stuff until it is ready to break new ground with new footage. I love that. And instead of giving old iconic images, it uses new footage to give us a throwback to the Indy silhouette on Marion's wall in Raiders. I love that too.
I also love that they get out of the way immediately that, yes, he's a bit older, but damn it, he's still Indy. He's still going to do what we expect of him, but it's not going to be easy ... at least not as easy as it used to be.
As for missing the back of the truck on the whip swing and swinging back into the other jeep ... I could see Indy doing that even at the time of earlier movies. I don't have a problem with the line he says either. But, that having been said, that bit of the TEASER strikes me a bit as specifically being teaser footage. It could just be the editing, but I wouldn't be surprised if we don't quite see that scene in the movie as it appears in the TEASER. I just recently watched 30 Days of Night, and then last night I saw a trailer for it before a movie I rented. There were scenes, shots, takes, etc. in that trailer that were not in the movie at all. They did the same thing for Die Hard 4.
Another thing I like about this teaser is that I have no idea whatsoever what the story is about, which a big gripe I have with a lot of trailers. I also like the fact that I don't feel like I've just seen the entirety of every exciting scene in the movie. I feel like I've seen really brief snippets of some exciting stuff without giving away any really big thrills.
In short, I feel like this TEASER says, "Yup, Indiana Jones is back ... and we have a hell of a lot of cool stuff to show you ... but we're not gonna show it to you yet ... just trust us."
It's Indy ... and I'm willing to trust them right up until I walk into the theater a watch the whole movie. If I'm disappointed afterwards, then I'm disappointed ... but I'm certainly not going to trash this movie for the TEASER not showing me what the Indy team doesn't WANT to show me quite yet. -
do yourself a favor my friend. Leave whatever you are doing right now and go forth and buy Tremors 1-4. You will see the Zeus-like powers that Michael "Burt Gummer" Gross posesses.
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If you want consummate artistic statements in your films, look no further than Tremors and Tremors 2: Aftershocks. Marvel at the everyman roughness of Fred Ward's Earl. Be amazed at the gung-ho readiness of Michael Gross as Burt Gummer, ultimate man of action. Plus, the original has Kevin Bacon. I mean, jesus, it's all right there for you.
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"This film will *not* be exactly like the Indy movies of old. Directors change, actors age, DOPs retire, film stocks get faster, color grading procedures go digital, special effects technologies *evolve*. Time. Marches. On. If this "doesn't look like" an Indiana Jones film to you, if the trailer didn't give you "chills" or butterflies in the stomach or sent you a dozen long stemmed roses or looked too much like something made in the year 2008 (find the nearest calendar and check the date, you may be shocked) then maybe you just oughta spend May 22 at home washing your hands five thousand times with a pad of steel wool til the tips weep blood. That at least will be an event you can exert some control over. "
God damn Laserbrain...on the fucking money. -
but I can wholeheartedly say that it has to be among some of the finest material ever set to film
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And as a gumvert, it is my mission to preach the masculine resilience that is Burt Gummer. There is a reason his hometown is called "Perfection," because that is what he is, and what every man should strive to be for his wife and children, but more importantly, for HIMSELF. Finally I know what I've been doing wrong all these years. But now I'm proud to say I'll be going shopping soon for an Atlanta Hawks baseball cap. And guns. Lots of guns.
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imagine getting buttfucked by an elephant, that's how much these films and espicially the performance of 1 Michael Gross will blow your fucking mind
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fucking flu
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is that ALL the Tremor movies have fresh ratings at RT. The first one is like 89%, which stunned even this Gummer-fan. I guess I should not have been suprised, lest any lack of faith show. My meeting went well, by the way. They could not see me with their infrared because I was coated in fire extinguisher effluence, and it didn't start melting till well after the meeting. Which featured several pencil-stabbing fatalities.
Is it true that Warwick played a Shrieker in Tremors 2? I'm pretty sure he also played the cement mixer. -
he's the red one
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Thanks guys, I've been looking for a good art flick to impress my girlfriend with. She thinks I'm shallow and juvinial. Well, I'll show her tonight. I'm going to head home and pick up a nice bottle of wine and hit the video store. By the way are these French titles?
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I know that people who lead meetings are just shriekers and assblasters in disquise
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they are born and raised, just like Michael Gross, in the depths of an icelandic hot spring
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pronounce it Tray-more. Your wife will thank you. The first one has Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward AND Mr. Family Ties himself, Michael Fucking Gross fighting giant sandworms. You can't go wrong. Your wife will thank you and never question your movie choices again. Nevermind that the worms are perfect metaphors for BOTH vaginas and peniseseses.
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Burt "motherfucker" Gummer likes to mislead
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therein is the magic of Gummer's cunning. He knows people will see him in the hat and immediately discredit his intelligence. But then, BAM! He hits you with his brilliance. And yet, he's humble. In Tremors 2 he flat-out acknowledges that Earl came up with the idea of fishing for graboids with radio-control cars. I mean, that's just a class act.
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watch it with your wife and within 4 seconds of the screen time filled with Burt Gummer, your wife will be on all fours sucking your dick in thanks for giving her the pleasure of Tremors
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is that diorama advertisement in the corner for Raiders, and why do they spell "Ark" wrong? What, is it like Raiders of the Lost Algebra II class? Don't forget your protractor.
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[Upon being introduced to Burt's anti-tank rifle
Earl Bassett: Man Burt, you put a whole new shine on the word 'overkill'.
Burt Gummer: When you need it, and don't have it... you sing a different tune.
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than I ever could hope to. But yes, your loved one will be siphoning from your graboid in short order. Because when you put Bacon, Ward and Gross in a movie together, vaginas moisten up like dew-dropped petals of tulips in the first light of morning.
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of mutant underground earthworms
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from "Val" played by Kevin Bacon, as told to his love interest:
"You need to take your pants off!"
Yes, Mr. Bacon. Truer words were never spoken. Except maybe by Gummer and Bassett. But after them, truth clings more tightly to none. -
do I need to keep listing reasons?
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This is the "in" I've been lookng for. I love how the French can turn something as common as a worm into such a beautiful metaphor for love. I'm about to cry just thinking about it. I had no idea Mr. Micheal Gross was French thats fantastic!!
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but Burt, as an elder-god, knows that people will see him wearing his Atlanta Hawks hat and automatically believe that he is just a mortal, when in fact he has tricked them once again. Burt Gummer 1, Humanity 0
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It was barbed wire fence. That scene was one of many in that film that made me take a good look at myself and rethink what it means to be a man.
Yeah, Reba is Gummer's bitch. I hate country music, but studying her ass in the film, I could find nothing wrong with it. Maybe because the brilliance of Gross, Ward, and The Bacon was enough for everybody. And who is that actress who played the geologist? I need her to ride my pony. -
Feb 19, 2008 1:35:28 PM CST
As President of the United States I declare these trailers to be
by mrpresident
AWESOME!
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Ringbearer9 did NOT hate on the LOTR films before he had seen them. He went into the FELLOWSHIP blind, and while he enjoyed Hobbiton and many of the actors portrayals, he was annoyed by the choppiness and sloppiness of the editing. He also disliked the poor quality of the CGI troll and the rapid-cut nature of the action with that troll. Likewise, he was dismayed by the ridiculous collapsing architecture adventures which made the confrontation with the Balgrog at the bridge anticlimactic. Whatever problems I had with the theatricals were slightly alleviated by less choppy cuts in the "Extended Editions" which I saw much later, but I listened to the commentary and developed a hatred for Jackson as an individual, (contrasting with my feeling of mixed like and dislike for the films themselves) that gave me real insight into the man's taste, and predicted the awfulness that King Kong turned out to be. But in no way was I bashing LOTR before I saw it. I had only rented FRIGHTENERS to see what the director was about, and was only mildly puzzled by the frantic, cue-deficient editing in that film (which I enjoyed well enough).
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once shot and exploded a shrieker from a quarter mile away, and not only did it explode the shrieker, it also put holes in two cinderblock walls and ruined the engine of a perfectly good pickup truck. One shot. And he didn't even mean to do that. Because he was denied critical need-to-know information. Plus, he once spent an entire night in the scoop of a bulldozer, armed only with a knife against two dozen shriekers who might have been alerted to his presence at any moment. And you think YOU had a rough morning? Look in the mirror, my friends!
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Burt could have any woman he wants, but he chose Reba because she is a more natural looking woman. If he struted around with Jolie under his arm it might raise suspision. And Burt knows something I do took, Redheads are wonderful in bed
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Thanks for the tip. I'm kinda new here. Now I finally understand that the reason the premature hate for this movie seemed nonsensical is just because it doesn't make sense. What a revelation :)
Let me try: This movie will BE awesome. It will be THE best THING ever created IN the history OF the world. BOOYAH! -
once. Just once. I didn't think they were bad, but I don't have enough hours left in my life to commit to watching them again. And even if I did, I would not, because then I'd have less time for Tremors 3 and 4. But if Michael Gross or Kevin Bacon or Fred Ward had starred in them, I would consider it. Now, as for Indy, the only thing that would keep me from seeing Crystal Skull on opening day would be if they rushed out Tremors 5. Or MegaForce 2: Ace Hunter Begins--Deeds Not Words.
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I was reading that they were trying to get it up and running but it is in 'production hell' right now. So, now that the writer's strike is over, I can get back to work on my now infamous Tremors 5 script
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the shorn splendor that is the copper colored stubble garden of The Reba. Tastes just like peaches 'n cream, I do declare!
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i'm choking on phlemgh because of that line Abom
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I'll dress my kids like shriekers and make them run around in the yard. I figure I can get about an hour before the police come, or the battery in the Canon DC20 dies. My daughter will look at me plaintively and ask, "Father, why are we doing this?"
"Because we are making an important film, my child." I shall say.
"What film is that?"
"Tremors 5." -
It sounds like what Indy says is, "Damn--I thought that was closer." But what he's really saying is, "Damn--I thought that was closer to the way Burt Gummer would have done it."
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I think when he hears the word Tremors his ears perk up and he flies to wherever he is needed
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Crystal Skull of Burt Gummer, starring Michael Gross as everyone in the universe
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everyone on my list will get the Tremors DVD box set. They have that, right? For christ's sake?
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If you read the Vanity Fair interview with George Lucas he is very clear about Michael Gross making a brief cameo in the New Indiana Jones. I believe he is playing Indiana's brother Montana Jones.
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Tremors 5: Preperation B gets rid of the 'boids
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http://www.toymania.com/news/images/0206_tremors1.jpg
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who needs dioramas? But after seeing that, I know the answer. I must have that on my desk, pronto. Because then everyone I do business with will know "this guy doesn't kid around."
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between Arnold and Sly Stallone?
A: Michael Gross. -
they would just kneel in front of you, probably put your cock in their mouths as well
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that neither Scarlett or Natalie get naked in that new movie. damn
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here's how to be awesome:
http://tinyurl.com/2neelh -
dude, nothing can top that. That is the funniest shit. I can't believe you found that!
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how to stare at a woman's ass. Even Reba's.
http://tinyurl.com/2lqlba -
Michael Gross
Date of Birth
21 June 1947, Chicago, Illinois, USA
Height
6' 4" (1.93 m)
Mini Biography
Born in Chicago in 1947, was involved in a gang during high school for a couple years before becoming a better student and graduating as senior class president.
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now we see why Burt is 100% man.
On another note, Fred Ward's wiki suggests that he was molested by his uncle, and that he uses his acting as therapy. Who would EVER guess at that tragic past? The guy is all MAN! Not only is he Remo AND Timerider, but also EARL. You can't be more man than that, without also being Burt Gummer. -
he's a rough and tumble kind of guy, but deep down he's got the heart of lamb
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when Fred Ward isn't busy kicking the shit out of graboids or people who piss him off, he spends his free time working at soup kitchens feeding the homeless and knitting sweaters for orphans and weaving basket nests for puppies.
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it's the charity for not getting your ass handed to you by Michael "ass handing" Gross
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for the day. Enjoy your flu, kloipy! Maybe pillow will stop in tomorrow. Tonight on my viewing schedule, Tremors 3. Another lesson on what it means to be a real man.
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thanks for helping me laugh through the sickness
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tired of seeing 699 up there
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Man. This talkback died.
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Thank you, and goodnight.
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A fineet!
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Is that when the Russians turn into the Soviets again, Uncle Sam is going to reclaim his silos and then you'll be on the street.
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I remember seeing something about that as well. I also thought that would be a pretty cool vacation house.
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I shall retreat to my silo for the summer.:)
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No bud. Orange County, California born and raised.
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wif fries!
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chili CHEESE fries, man. if you're gonna go myocardial infarction, go all the way, baby.
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The line about MG's charity was funny.
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what did i have for lunch today? a salad and 4 brownies. sensible eating, i has the skills.
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Ok so the trailer is OK. It is not the greatest thing since sliced bread but it has its moments. So, I went back and looked at the trailers for the other movies (on the official website)and you know something? With the exception of the theatrical trailor for the Last Crusade (which has most of the best lines from the film)they all suck, especially the teaser trailers. I think the quality of a trailer says more about whoever made it than the movie. All I know is I'm planning to see this movie the first day, and no trailer is making any difference. (And if you creamed over the trailer, that's cool too.)
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saying, "They're all RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK!"
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thats a wrap people, thanks for coming out tonight.Oh, and the movie will be fun.
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Those trailers aren't great. And I think they give away too much. And the Raiders trailers are worst of all. They don't give any hint of how great a movie it really is, and totally fail to get across any of the humor that is part of what makes the movie so good ... and yet still manage to give away too many surprises.
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Those old 80s trailers are all most all bad, really. I watch them these days and laugh. But back when these great movies were made it was a way differant time. No internet, no instant news and all that stuff.I don't know what that has to do with anything execpt it was not nearly as serious as it is today.
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True story: downloaded the trailer, burned it to a DVD and took it over to my parents' house. Without telling anyone in my family what they were going to see, I started the disc. My wife started to tear up when she realized what it was. After the trailer was over, my mom, who has been very ill and doesn't like to go anywhere anymore, said,"can we all go see it together in May?" Awesome. So anyway, around May 25, it will be my 70 year old parents, my 90 year old grandmother, my wife, and myself going back to the movies to see an old friend. Thanks George and Steven.
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Now that I've seen her nekkid, I know she isn't hot.
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Feb 20, 2008 2:16:02 AM CST
Yep, Lohan still keeping up that serious actress image
by skywalkerfamily
Way to go.
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You'd all bang Lohan in a new york minute. Even if only to brag about it,
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how are you doing this morning my friend?
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Or evening, depending on where you are. Checked out Tremors 3 last night. Pretty good, even without Ward or the Bacon. Because it had Burt in it. More funny one-liners than I can remember. One early zinger from Burt that sticks out is, "Is your head up your ass for the warmth?" I thought the shots of the flying ass-blasters were very fake-looking, but hey, Tremors is about MANLINESS, not special effects. And even without a gun, trapped in a port-o-toilet, Burt Gummer was all man.
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Burt Gummer hasn't an ounce of pussy in him, but he gets a lot of him inside some pussy
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your weiner might turn to cheese and fall off inside of two days.
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Am viciously hungover. We have a BEAR thread. How cool!
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he also got himself inside one of them graboids, in a sequence that was pure comedy gold. After crazy Zen Jack uses a chainsaw to cut Burt out of the thing, spraying orange and green guts everywhere, Jodi glumly says, "You guys need supervision."
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I feel it is important to my well being. Pity I've only got stupid Frida and La Vie en Rose to wade through first
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that Warwick Davis played an ass-blaster, a 55 gallon drum, a microwave oven AND a spare truck tire in Tremors 3? The guy rules. I think I'm going to make a film called Killer Grizzly vs. Tremors. Just to meet Warwick. And after I get done shooting kloipy's script for Tremors 5.
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He once played all 7 Dwarves, Snow White AND the evil queen. Not to mention the poisoned apple, and a water barrel. He was busy that week
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I didn't mean to spoil one of the funnier moments in the movie. But then again, it's not like it's one of those "Luke, I am your father" moments. I wonder who would win in a fight between a couple shriekers and a wampa. Oh wait, Burt would win.
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it appears that the people think it is the best sequel in the tremors series. And Abom, there is a box set it's called "The Pack Attack"
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but I can't believe you found Burt's basement Abom. I had to take the 360 degree view of the safe room. I swear I smelled a manliness stench in there.
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it smells like Old Spice and beef jerky
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but then he derided me for not being man enough and said I wasn't allowed. it still hurts to this day.
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shed by those acolytes that don't measure up.
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he is, after all, very paranoid about WW3
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Damn, the 4-pack is only 15.65 at dvduniverse. That's less than 20 bucks for the DVD bible of manliness. I better stock up on those christmas gifts early. Seriously, I'll probably order one, because I downloaded them, and after watching them I know Michael Gross and Fred Ward deserve my money. In fact, I think I'll just send like $100. It'd be sweet if it came with a Burt action figure though. Then I could put him on my desk and people would know, "OMG this guy is a Burt Gummer fan. I better not mess around with him."
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a radio signal is sent to Burt's basement and a nubile african queen will give him oral pleasure
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Yeah, I did a search for tremors stuff yesterday because I wanted to educate myself on what it truly means to be a man, and I found the Stampede Entertainment site. There's a link in there that spotlights Tremor / Burt props and gifts, but I was unable to find prices or a place to order. It's just as well. I would have ordered six of everything.
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This is like the chicken and the egg argument. Which manliness came unto the world first?Abom, your search is like National Treasure 3 or something. It's that important.
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was after the shriekers attack Burt basement, the threesome retreat to his safe room. Then when the ass blaster tries melting through the door, they escape in the tunnel and Burt sets a can of gas by the door to create a bomb. But once they're outside, they realized they're exposed to the other shriekers and they wonder where to hide. But why not just climb back inside the tunnel? Hmmmmm? It wouldn't be permanent protection, but it would provide cover. I know it's nitpicking, but it was from watching Burt that taught me to notice these things.
If buying a Pack Attack results in Burt or MG receiving oral pleasure, I will order a dozen and just keep them on hand for gifts. Because nothing says "You're special, and I care about you" like the gift of graboid entertainment. -
your wife may take a liking to your graboid if you get her this
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She calls husband MG "Burt Goober." Pure comedy gold dipped in fondue, peoples. There I was in 2004, worried about whether Lucas would totally mess up Sith, and I never even knew the glory that is Tremors 3 existed. Although I will say I like 1 and 2 slightly more, because they feature Burt AND Ward and The Bacon, and that combination of manliness is paramount. Even though those movies do not feature wampas or bears.
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His manly stench provides a protective gaseous bubble that has been know to repel bullets, ass blasters, and bears.
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we've got 2 sabotage threads in full swing now. We've clearly learnt from all our weeks of studying True-fu. And are wise in the ways of Burt.
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when Burt says that Mary left him because she took the fact that civilisation didn't collapse really badly. Awesome.
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and that means wedding season. And nothing says, "God bless your marriage" like the gift of the Graboid Pack Attack. Comes with a special embossed ass-blaster greeting card that says "Welcome to Perfection" and farts fire when you open it up.
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My education is sorely lacking.*Burt and 2for2true shake their heads in disdain at pillow...*
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it would end in a draw, they would shake hands, because they would know they had met their equal
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One of my friends is getting hitched in June. This will help him retain his manhood!
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This is a tough decision. Do I go with the Crock of Gore or the Attack Pack. Which will piss his new bride off the least?
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like the gift of a Graboid Pack Attack. I hope when I'm buried a graboid can feast off of my remains as I watch from above with God and Burt
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when Jack says, "Burt, gimme your lighter" and Burt asks, "How do you know I have a lighter?"
"Because you're Burt," Jack says.
Or when the three of them are hiding in the port-o-toilet and Jodi tells Burt "YOU DO NOT HAVE A GUN. JUST DEAL WITH IT." If she wasn't so cute, I might've taken issue with her speaking that way to my new king. -
Especially as we are going to spain to learn bullfighting for his stag bash, and he is clearly going to need to regrow his testicles after a bull stomps them.
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Is Burt more of a king than Ash?It's pondering questions like this that give meaning to my life.
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words from the lips of the angels
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Ash did lop off his hand with a chainsaw. Burt has the moustache.
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I'm not sure if I want Jesus to show up, because I'll be hiding behind Burt, dispensing his belt-fed .50 caliber salvation to the daemons of the underworld. And if a graboid does consume me, I will die proudly, knowing that Burt himself was once so consumed.
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"Hail to the King Baby" But burt kills Graboids with a fucking arsenal of heavy weaponry.
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no questions asked, even if the bullets were fired by burt
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Burt has a safe room.
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You mentioned two TBs that have been sab-bear-taged. What's the other one?
There is just so much to admire about a father figure who is prepared for the worst at all times, had met certain death repeatedly and blown it off, and has known the splendor of Reba's sweet auburn thicket. -
It's just too deep. They're both such heroes.
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but really, any title involving bears is open to abuse.
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that shit cracks me up man
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it should have been obvious to me. Damn, I guess I better watch the first two Tremors again.
Burt is so manly that by the time Tremors 3 ends, he SPOILER lets "El Blanco" live just to keep from being bored. That's like saying, "The devil is my bitch." -
but no woman is. He has a harem and they are on constant rotation.
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when I'm even MORE bored I'll search for Reba's website and fire off a bunch of email asking what it was like to be Mrs. Burt Gummer and what it's like to be ex-Mrs. Gummer, and whether she'll ever go back to him, because what kind of damn fool woman wouldn't, and where's she gonna find another man who is anything more than a shadow of the One True Burt?
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let us know if you ever get a straight answer from the maroon poon
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funny shit.
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Burt, Ash, 2True and a Kodiak Bear? This question must be answered. I personally think that the awesomeness of this battle would put out the sun.
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Ash would kill the bear, 2tru would kill Ash, and Burt and 2tru would throw so much energy at each other that they would revert into light
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I think the bear would die early, however.
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that 2true would stab the bear to death with a pencil and then the 3 supermen would absorb energy at a frightening rate eventually wiping out all life in the universe before exploding in a supernova to start a new universe where up is down, blue is red and all women have 7 breasts.
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I picture the epic battle to end after going through a worm hole and seeing the sun dawn on a giant Warwick fetus in space
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If you substitute Warwick for the Bear this could be a truly titanic struggle. come on hollywood, we're full of great ideas, hire us!
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we deserve a contract and an unlimited amount of money to bring our masterpiece to life.
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we have to bring to life Beastmaster 4: Ringpiece of the Worm, Tremors 5, and my dream prequel for Dark Angel. It's a fucking gold idea- set in victorian london and Jack The Ripper= Intergalactic Drug Dealer. These are all great ideas.
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and yet the writer's of 2 and 1/2 Men need more money for stupid kid jokes?
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just his continuing adventures.
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How on earth do the writers of such crap as Joey or 2 1/2 dickheads think they deserve more money. They should be putting their money into a fucking charity for traumatised victims of their "comedy". We're much funnier,
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seriously, I can't understand why Friends was so huge over here. It's not funny at all.
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I think I'll start a millenarian religion based on this concept of juxtaposing super-forces at a constant state of near-conflict. People will send us money to make our movie, all desperately hoping that the final battle to end all battles will not come to pass.
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the first series of friends was quite funny. The london episodes made me violent.
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what a good idea. can we put the profits in to Dark Angel 2? We can cast Burt as the victorian pimp that slaps the intergalactic drug dealer around.
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Death is upon you!!!
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was spawned spontaneously from the innards of a self-creating and sustaining hermaphroditic galactic graboid. Only Burt, Ash and True could begin to even fathom that.
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High Priest Jarv so speaketh, and give us your money. Now.
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than the Westboro Baptist Fuck-faces
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Jarv that was brilliant, that shit sent me into a coughing fit
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in the church of 2true manliness then they will be consumed by the bates and digested in a pit of fire for 10,000 years. REPENT SINNERS
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of Ash, True and Burt shall dispatch their benevolent spirt-guide, Warwick, who shall so descend upon the children of sodom and open their minds to the possibilities of ultimate manliness. That is, if they send a check for at least $50 right away
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include falling into the abyss wo be stabbed 79,987,643,001 times by the HB pencil of judgement. to chiansaw your own hand off every day for perpetuity, only for it to regrow every night To scrub the tobacco stains off the wall of Prophet Burt's survival bunker using a brick.
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it always smells like sulfur
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2for2true told me not to. He said the IRS are filled with a bunch of pussies that need to be struck down by their own #2 pencils.
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for all the believers. The starship will be departing in twenty minutes, so please put these sneakers on and chop off your dicks.
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for No.2 pencils to take flight and find their marks--in the collective jaw of the unbelieving multitude. The taste of blood, lead and wood is sweet
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It has been said that the favorite vegetable of True, Ash & Gum is bacon. Their favorite fruit is...Reba. Mmmm peaches n cream.
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they had the applesause and the nike shoes and they were going to ride on the Hale bop comet. It was actually just a decoy created by Ash, 2true, and Burt.
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and the voice of 2true spoke unto his lowly disciples Jarv, Kloipy, Pillows and Abom, and verily it was good. The holy one speaketh, and ordered the disciples to spread the twin messages of ultimate manliness in the form of pencil stabbing and TB sabotage. The Disciples toiled hard, and were observed by the twin deities Burt and Ash. They looked upon the work of the humble followers and decreed that it was good. Although the followers were mocked by the TB ignorami, they proclaimed "verily, thou art all shitheels, and when the holy trinity calls you to judgement you shall be cast asunder and consumed by the bates" And 2true was pleased.
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Feb 20, 2008 8:57:47 AM CST
My refund is going to build a shrine in my front yard..
by just pillow talk
The divine symbol of a chainsaw, a moustache, and a #2 pencil, criss-crossed with Warwick holding it up to the sky. It's made out of the corpses of the non-believers.
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she's also a creamy delight
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got him some Meredith Baxter-Birney back in the day. He wasn't Burt yet, but the essence of Gummer was surely there, devastating to all women. Frankly, I would have bent her over that isle counter in the Keaton kitchen and given her a how-do-you-do? But I think Meredith hit the wall. Or worse yet, the wall toppled on her. Meanwhile, MG went on to become Burt and his essence was magnified exponentially
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And lo, did the earth tremor and shake with the great dawning of the graboid. The dirt did dance as if it were the all-knowing Warwick on St. Patricks day.
Yea though Burt walked through the valley of the shadow of Perfection, he did not fear
and 2true spoke and a rain of pencils did fall from the sky.
shit I gotta go to a meeting, I'll see you guys later -
and lo, the followers of the one 2true religion were sorely tried and tested. The devil came to them in the form of Paddington and speaketh thus "forsake your beliefs and worship me as your lord and master. In return, I shall furnish you with berries to eat and as many Lindsay Lohan clones as you may wish to bang" But the prophet abom was not fooled "get thee to fuck, satan, we know that you are a pussy bear, and lohan looks like a 900 year old crack whore." The disciples administered many a flaming leg kick to the head of satan. 2true, Ash and Burt looked on, and were mightily pleased.
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Jarv, I think I will print out those holy verses and pass them out in my office. I might even shave my head and rattle a tamborine
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and lo, the holy one Ash looked upon his followers and was mightily pleased at their TB antics and complete failure to work. He saw them put forth his message and saw that it was good. He conferred with 2true and Burt and they decided to allow the loyal flock the ultimate artifacts. And o, the cherub warwick descended from heaven and furnished the loyal disciples with the holy pack attack and the sacred crock of gore. And it was good.
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few have known the strawberry cream cheese paradise that waits in her Garden of Eden
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I'm running a bit low on ideas. I'm going for a smoke to think up some new ones.
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Thou shall scream "shitheels" to those who do not see the light, and will strike down those who do not see the wisdom that is our three mighty lords. Pencils and chainsaws will be required companions on the journey to salvation for infidels, and their path to self-preservation will be "lead" by the devout. This has, will, and shall always be the way of our lords 2for2true, Ash, and the Burt.In the name of the FLAMING LEG KICK, Bear maulings, and the power of the Warwick, amen.
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oh yeah, almost forgot the blessed FLK. Perhaps that could be like a baptism. I think I shall construct a church. But on the outside, it will look like Walter Chang's general store.
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Power over the fair sex shall be granted by following the man stench of the divine. Thou loyal followers will grow the moustache to honor the power of the Burt.Thou shall learnt the necessary phrases to entice the female sex with: Give me some sugar babyThat's just what we call pillow talk babyFirst you want to kill me, then you want to kiss me. Blow.Thou shalt repeat those phrases on a daily basis.Thou shalt wow the fairer sex with random pencil stabbings to show her the size of your pencil.This as all be foretold.
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The ion cannon will be in back next to the fridge.
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on their humble servant Jarv and ASh spoke unto him thus"Verily my loyal servant, thou art truly hungover to thine back teeth. Hail to the king"And jarv replied in his misery "Lord I am not fit to spread the gospel of manliness, please forgive your lowly servant" And Burt spake unto him "Pull your shit together, it's a Guiness hangover. You've had them before" The humble jarv felt comforted by their words of wisdom and swore to redouble his efforts.
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Shall consist primarily of MREs, and all ammunition utilized shall be utilized as each situation decress, eg full-bore vs belt-fed, and the domiciles of all believers shall have a subterranean concrete perimeter and fortified roof so as to dispel the wickedness and snares of the butt-launchers.
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was visited in the night by the Holy trinity. They took turns pile driving her, and eventually she conceived the holy child that is yet to be born. It will be born when the seas turn to blood, and the sky turns to a strange shade of magenta. When this sacred time shall arise, the holy child shall be born, and he shall possess the power of ultimate manliness and seek vengeance against all shitheels and those that disavow the way of the pencil. As it has been forseen so shall it happen.
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Went out and bought a nice bottle of red wine put out a few candles, called the girlfriend over and told her I had something really special to share with her. Put the movie in "Le Tremors" thinking I had all ready sealed the deal.45 minutes later I found myself sleeping on my friends couch across town.
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Feb 20, 2008 9:21:28 AM CST
but the forces of crapness were not finished with the loya disci
by lost jarv
and visited them in the form of AvP:R. But the disciples had nothing but scorn for this abomination, and they cursed it. The forces of darkness retreated to try again.
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Hopefully you were allowed to bring the DVD with you. Don't be dismayed; watch the series and learn from the ways of Gummer. Then employ your newfound Essence of Divine Manliness on your woman and she will be helpless
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unlucky, truly she was not ready to witness the divine magnificence of Burt vs Graboid. Grow a better moustache.
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I was lucky to get out with a change of clothes.I should have known something was up when the video clerk started to giggle
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the blessed virgin Reba verses are as immaculate as the virgin mother herself. When I email stalk her later today, I shall be sure to share the prophesy with her. And ask if she is freshly shorn, or sports a loathsome shrumbleweed. With this nugget of knowledge we might then commission an artiste of high caliber to paint her (nude) likeness on the ceiling of the Church of Chang.
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lest her visage be forgotten in the hallowed halls of Echo Base
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Pray to the Ash, the Burt, and 2for2true. Let them guide you down the path so that your faith will be restored. Your salvation is at hand JLo.
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surely he was smote on the way home or struck down by a wayward bus for his blasphemy of the Burt. And your partner was surely lonely without the company of your graboid burrowing through her alluvium.
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It will be as if michalangelo knew what he was doing with the Sistine Chapel. And JLo, you must smite that shitheel unbeliever for mocking the holy film. Smite him with a pencil in the mouth.
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is truly a shitheel infidel. And he and his loathsome kind shall be visted with immense pencil based pain. Giggling is the very antithesis of the church of manliness.
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And did 2true In ancient times Stride across the world unseen? and was the holy moustache of burt clipped to keep it nice and clean? And did Ash's chainsaw hand, Smite all deadites everywhere? And was the survival bunker, Stocked up with ammo, food and shit to wear? Bring me my pencil of burning gold, Bring me my chainsaw of fire Bring me my chain fed machine gun and upon graboids open fire I shall not cease from violent fight nor shall my #2 pencil sleep in my hand Till we have purged all shitheels From every single fucking land
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I wept at the profundity of those verses. So true. Yet, while Burt's moustache is the pinnacle of male grooming, 2true cannot shave because nothing can cut his stubble. He has a perpetual 5 o clock shadow like steel wool
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why I was wearing an ammo vest, a Hawks cap, and field sunglasses. I told him, "When you need them and don't have them, you sing a different tune." He told me my write-up would be in my mailbox later. Douchebag
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bastardising Blake then I think there is a fair chance that I could be a useful member of society.
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in the curch. Or he faces damantion and eternal torment in the Belly of
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in the curch. Or he faces damantion and eternal torment in the Belly of THE BATES
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sorry. Computer fucked up.
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never be bored again. Not when you have behind-the-scenes early test videos of graboids
http://tinyurl.com/348kbd
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it was all I could do to not jerk off to it
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what a load of bollocks. Verily work sucketh like a dyson.
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for Stampede Entertainment
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what a crock. But well worth it.
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I laughed for ages
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and took you to the Tremors 3 official site, I finished down my pantleg.
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I humbly thanked the holy trinity and shed a little tear.
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Feb 20, 2008 10:22:55 AM CST
no tears are to be shed in the name of the holy trinity
by just pillow talk
Only mocking laughter at the sheep who do not "see" the all-mightiness of them.
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I saw that the space shuttle Atlantis returned safely to earth. Which means, IT DID NOT BLOW UP.
This TB started three days ago. It was supposed to be about Indy, but most of it is Tremors-related. Sorry, Mori! You can be an honorary priest in the Church of Chang. -
by giving them the ol' Burt glance of death
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you first take a bite of beef jerky, for the Gross
then you inhale wood shavings off of a pencil for 2true
Then you ingest boiling hot water to kill the mini-ashes
Lastly you swallow a four-leaf clover to ward off Warwick's wrath
this is all followed by a baptism by fire, with a tony jaa FLK -
were there any pencil fatalities?
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I dumped a barrel full of pencils out of the 6th story window, and yelled to all the people to look up. As they gazed skyward, mouths agape, they knew the pain of a mouth stab
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...it sure is a fine thing to see all this Burt Gummer love. Another movie great becomes enshrined in AICN talkback lore forever.
Can Ace Hunter be far behind?
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i need to reflect and to pray. I shall return, enlightened
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I was showing love for Ace yesterday right here, surmising that the only reason Tremors 5 isn't being shot right now is possibly because they got Barry Bostwick on the set for MegaForce 2: Ace Hunter Begins--Deeds Not Words. There are few in the world more manly than Ace, a true action hero. But Ash, Ward, Burt, and 2true are some of the few who do in fact have more midichlorians than Ace Hunter. So says the Church of Chang (kisses thumb, holds it out, hits "post talkback" button)
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in my office, to be more like Ace, if only it didn't clash with my Atlanta Hawks hat and ammo vest.
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I will sacrifice a whole six pack to the true gods. our father's Burt, Ash and 2true be thine names....
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onion.com
CGI creates realistic-looking Oscar for Michael Bay -
Kloipy did you have to listen to any mamagement wankspeak? you are well within your rights to say "I just came to chew some bubblegum and kick some ass, and I'm all out of bubblegum" and then ay waste to the meeting with full automatic weaponry
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about Michael Bay, they add a new TB about a self-deprecating Michael Bay commercial. Clearly, Lord Trueburt Ashgum was speaking to me in ways I could not possibly comprehend. Thank you, my king! (prostrates self)
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yes, unfortunatly I had to sit through a billing meeting with one of the major phone companies and they love that bullshit. They didn't like it when I whipped out my Burt Gummer outfit and asked them if it was warm with their heads up their asses
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and his 12 Warciples
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You should demand money whenever it gets used. Which means I owe you a quarter. I have a meeting in an hour. Oh yes, there will be pencils.
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starring Michael "Reba-squeezin'" Gross. It's about a man's quest for Jerky. It opens on a 20 minute silent shot of Burt trimming his mustache in the nude
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seriously, no camera ever made can film such awesomeness.
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He's a pointless individual. All he does is link to youtube.
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2Ash2Burt. It will be our salvation.
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That is officially the best use ever of a quote from Saw. I'm surprised that there was any use at all for anything from Saw.
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Or should we say, The Two.
I wonder if Reba knows that the afterlife of all humanity and the fate of all creation rests in her womb. -
and they also claim that horror is their favorite genre. I stab them in the mouth
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2true will have told her. And she knows Burt well.
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anyone that says they are is lying. A dreadful film.
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it will come out with a full mustache
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but never scared. This has really got to me. Shitheels are not fit to witness the glory of Evil Dead, or the magnificence of Tremors. They can all fuck off.
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told me that they got scared by The Hitcher remake. I died a little
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and would like to make a case for Roddy Piper as some form of divine messenger. He kicks some alien ass in that film.
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I thought that "There Will Be Blood" was like, the next Saw movie. But then I read about how it's actually a good film starring Daniel Day Lewis. But yeah, whenever I hear that phrase I think of Saw. Burt forgive me.
Oh, I forgot to mention I visited Reba's site (reba.com) and I couldn't find an email address to tell her she holds salvation in her vagina, so she better trim up down there. -
is so long and has such girth that the head has two eyes and a mustache and he carries an Ak-47 between his balls
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Feb 20, 2008 12:00:12 PM CST
I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the Hitcher remake
by lost jarv
I have got the Wicker Man remake queued (even though that is an abomination)
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is fucking classic. I love that movie
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it's worth a few viewing, mostly while under the influence
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and the title of some oscar bait. I wonder who first said it, because those fucking monkeys that wrote saw did not have a single original idea.
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will be born with not only a full stache, but an erection that will likely kill his mother on the way out. It really is a shame Reba won't provide an email. How are we supposed to know she's a celebrated person, for none of the reasons she thinks she is, but rather because she is the mother of tomorrow for all humanity? That's a heavy load, but not as heavy as Burt's.
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Divine Messenger/ teacher in the ways of asskicking?
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will have full stache, erection and will enter the world holding an AK-47 in one hand, a chainsaw in the other and a pack of HB pencils in the crack of his ass. Then the armageddon starts
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he's on a mission from God
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Yeah, Burt Gummer's penis is like a graboid tentacle. It has been known to eat children and cause traffic accidents.
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and out of his erection will shoot mini warwicks
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Feb 20, 2008 12:06:00 PM CST
If he isn't careful when he gets out of bed in the morning
by lost jarv
He can become the Human tripod. This can be a bit inconvenient, so he smokes a cigar while he waits for his morning glory to subside.
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500 years ago we'd have been burnt at the stake. Except we wouldn't have, because we wouldn't have done this. The internet didn't exist then.
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to be Kyle Reese Warciples if the powers of evil send back a killer from the future to harm Reba and thus thwart the birth of humanity's final salvation. Like, an evil Bizzaro Burt cyborg. I better sharpen some pencils and wire some C4 to these radio controlled trucks.
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keep the faith,
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It is so long and so powerful that Burt is able to travel underneath the sea and his penis has it's own lung system so it can be used like a snorkle
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I'm going to work that into the next gospel bit I write.
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have a good night my friend!
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I'm going to check tonight to see if Reba has a Myspace page, if so I will send her picture after picture of Burt and ask her many a question
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Stampede-Entertainment and informed them that we have created a theology around their so-called character "Burt Gummer," who we know of course is not only a real person, but a portal of human salvation. I have advised them that we are awaiting our free Attack Packs in the mail. On top of the 17 packs I ordered this morning.
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I hope they respond and an Attack Pack materializes in front of my cubicle
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True be with you. Always.
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I gave a link to this TB and told them which monikers to look for. Then I suggested that probably every Tremor DVD they sold this week could be attributed to us. Which makes me happy for them, and I told them so, but their profits are insignificant when you consider that the fate of the universe hangs in the balance and only Burt Gummer, acting in conjunction with Ash and 2true and possibly one or two others, can hope to do anything about it, and can we please have some free stickers or something?
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I hope to recieve some penance for our fellowship. It's time to reap
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The holy trinity should have been part of NBC's "the more you know" crap they used to air.
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Hi, I'm Steve Guttenburg. Did you know that not only did Burt Gummer kill every kind of graboid monster, but he was also eaten by one? The more you know, the better you are at kicking ass.
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Burt Gummers taint is recognized as it's own independant state! The more you know!
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Hi, I'm Tom Cruise. I've discovered through AICN hi-jacked threads that I've been a complete tool and have been "cleansed" of my misguided beliefs by lopping off my hand at the wrist. I now carry a sawed off shotgun and have attached a chainsaw to where my hand was. The more you know, the better you are at killing the undead.
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Hi, I'm Rita Pearlman. Did you know that Burt Gummer emits a gel from his skin that can be used as a salve for burn victims?
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Warwick Davis' cock can shoot rainbow colors and cure alzheimer's disease with one stroke. The more you know.
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Hi, I'm Sonny Bono's corpse. Did you know that the excess wood that has broken off from pencils being stabbed into mouths from 2True are used to start rainforests?
The more you know, the mo....ohmhhhmyyyyygooodddddmyyyyymouuuutttthhhh -
Hi, I'm Tom Selleck. Every fourteen seconds a Kyle Reese 'Warciple' slaughters a zombie from the future who might have caused harm to the mother of our salvation on this planet. Known as the Church of Chang, these devoted warriors follow the way of Lord Trueburt Ashgum and baptize the undead with chain guns. The more you know, the less ignorant you are.
I'm off to my meeting in (checks cesium watch, like Burt would) T-minus eight minutes and 32 seconds. -
Hi, I'm Ted Danson. Did you know the crumbs that escape the gaping maw of The Bates have been used to feed the entire world?
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Hi, I'm Ted Danson. The other guy from "Three Men and a Baby." Did you know that in the small town of Perfection, Nevada (22 miles SE of Bixby) Burt Gummer still maintains a fortified bunker filled with enough MREs in a safe room to keep three people alive for nine years? The more you know, the better you can bring the pain.
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Hi, I'm George Wendt and I've been dead for 15 years, but with a FLAMING LEG KICK from the disciple Tony Jaa, I have x-ray vision and can fly. The more you know.
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Burt must have decreed it to happen.
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this is too much gold for you to miss
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Hi, I'm George W. Bush, and I...aaaaaaiiiiiiiiii!!!! 2for2true materializes and stabs Bush 345 times in a matter of seconds...and then poof!..He's gone.The less you hear from George W., the more you know.
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that George Wendt shit killed me man, fucking awesome stuff
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Ted Danson cannot be forgotten
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Hi, I'm Barbara Streisand. Ash cut off my head with his chainsaw and since they I've been functioning in society as a "true" believer. The more you know.
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Hi, I'm the re-animated corpse of Taft. Did you that the grease secreted from The Bates netherworld could be used to power all the cars of the world with only 1 quart?
The more you know, the more you want to vomit. -
Hi, I'm John Wayne. I was consumed by The Bates in a night of passion gone wrong, but Burt pulled me out through The Bates' vagina with his mustache. I know work in a pencil factory doing my part to fight infidels. The more you know.
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Hi, I'm Coolio. Did you know that Warwick has lived up my ass for 16 years and that we actually film Lep in the Hood there as well? The more you know.
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Hi, I'm Paula Poundstone's non-existant vagina. Did you know that Burt Gummer was the cause and the solution to the dinosaurs? The more you know
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Word up, this is Post Master-P. Did you that there is no sun. The light we see is just the half-life from the first Tony Jaa FLK that started the universe and life as we know it
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Hi, I'm Jesse Jackson. It's important to read to the children, so make sure you read them the right books. The Book of the Dead is available now in paperback at all Holy Trinity churches. The children are our future... The more you know.
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Hi, this is the voice inside your head telling you to stab your co-worker in the mouth with that #2 pencil. Give in to your feelings. 2for2true will smile upon you for all of eternity. The more you know.
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Hi, I'm international porn star/preacher John Bobbit. Did you know that for every deadite that Ash kills a puppy is saved from drowning?
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The Protector this weekend. All I had to say was "they throw a baby elephant in it" and he wanted to see it
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Hi, this is Mike Wallace. Did you know that we all exist within Burt's mustache? Dinosaurs were wiped out by a simple sneeze. Buckle up world. The more you know.
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Hi, I'm Rosanne Barr's inverted nipple. Did you know that Warwick Davis has the ability turn shit into gold? He was the inspiration for the movie The Holy Mountain.
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Hi, I'm a vein on Rod Roddy's dick. Did you know that Burt Gummer is so masculene that he can produce testicles on his arms and yet so gentle that he can walk on clouds?
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The world must be showed the way of broken arms and legs.I had to preach Army of Darkness back in college to my sister's college friends.
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Hi, I'm just pillow talk. Did you know that an auditor was looking for some answers about account movements? I told him the answers are not in our financial statements, but through the musings of Ash. I then lopped off both of his hands with two paper clips and anticipate no further questions. The more you know.
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My wife hated the 30 second clip I showed her from Ong Bak, she did not like that it kept showing a move 4 times in a row. As for Evil Dead, when I used to work at a video store, I was aloud to start and employee favorites section and that was on my wall each and every week
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Hi, I'm Charlton Heston. Did you know that damn dirty apes exist in Warwick's left testicle and when he takes a piss children all over the world eat their lima beans?
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Hi, I'm Sarah Jessica Parker's adam's apple. Did you know that Burt Gummer fought off an entire army of ass-blasters with nothing more than a paperclip and some spearimint gum?
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Hi, I'm Wil Wheaton's doe-eyes. Did you know that Warwick Davis once baked himself into a pie, then sent it via the pony express to himself 45 years in the future?
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Hi, I'm Walter Cronkite. Did you know that I never existed and was all a figment of 2for2true's imagination? His imagination makes the real world seem like a dream. And light bulbs glow. The more you know.
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Baked himself into a pie. He was the pie in American Pie. "never done it with baked goods..."
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Hi, I'm a half digested piece of pizza Maury Povich once ate. Did you know that 2for2true literally wrote the dictionary. It was edited by idiots though. Each word used just be a different way to say "shitheel"
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Hi, I'm what's left of Wesley Snipe's finances. Did you know that the FLAMING LEG KICK can cook every single whopper in the whole world at once? Who's really the fucking king here? The more you know.
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Hi, I'm Kate Beckinsdale. When I'm not getting shagged by pillow talk, I'm preaching the word shitheel to the world. Did you know that if you said shitheel 1,492 times fast, you could bend steel with your mind and cook chicken nuggets on your cock? The more you know.
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Hi, I'm the smell that permeates the NY subway. Did you know that Burt can juggle all the planets with his mustache while taking a dump? The more you know.
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Hi, I'm Courtney Love's fluid sacs. Did you know that if you are ever lost in the desert and you come across an oasis, if you knock on the ground three times with a palm leaf, Warwick Davis will magically appear inside a coconut and give you a Fanta to drink.
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pulling someone out of Bate's vagina with Burt's stache was the best!
My meeting sucked, except for the five corpses with pencils sticking out of their skulls. I even nailed one with the eraser side, and the force was enough to trepanate their skull. Oh, and at the meeting I pointed out which female employees I thought had nice asses. I said it was part of my new campaign for openness and honesty. In fact, one of my fellow supervisors, I went right over to her and said, "You have a gorgeous ass. I can't get enough of looking at it." My boss didn't take kindly to my contribution. He was one of the five. -
Hiya. I'm Wilford Brimley's second chin. Did you know that every time you eat a bowl of delicious Quaker Oats, you sprout another ball hair? Well, Ash did. And so did Burt Gummer, I tell you. All them manly ballhairs had to come from somewheres, I tell you. And as soon as I take my diabee-tus medication, I'm going to have me another bowl of zombie-killin' Quaker Oats. Because the more you know, the more you know that nutrition CAN be delicious, when you're kicking undead ass.
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That's the problem with companies today...they're not "forward" (in this case, rear) thinking. Our auditing firm is running out of auditors. I took out two more with a printer cartridge and a 3 ring binder.
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Can't forget Master Oats
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Hello. I'm Dame Judy Dench's clitoris. And when I'm not busy being licked by James Bond or worshipped by The Kyle Reese Warciples of the Church of Chang, I send money to Stampede Entertainment, the makers of the wonderful 'Tremors' series. I already own a box sex myself, which I store in Dame Dench's labial folds. But I continue to send a monthly check to thank them for their ongoing contribution to the arts. Because the more you know, the more you can create the culture. Of killing giant subterranean alluvial worms, or zombies.
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Hi, I'm the crusty bottom of your company's bathroom floor. Did you know that if Warwick Davis, Burt Gummer, Ash, 2for2true, and Tony Jaa were in the same room together that the universe would turn to jello and Bill Cosby would be everyone's father? The more you know.
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Hi, I'm Leonard Nimoy. Did you know that Patricia Heaton can solve geometric problems with her left nipple? The more you know.
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Hi there. I'm the piece of corn you said you wanted to eat out of Jessica Beil's stool. Well, now's your big chance. And if you care anything about Reba's wellbeing and the Order of the Universe, you'll do well to just swallow me whole, partner. Because Baby True is waiting to brought over to this plane of existence, with his uzi and twin .50 calibers, and there's plenty of shriekers and assblasters and undead, trouble-causing motherfuckers waiting to be plowed down in the name of all that is holy.
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Hi, it's me. Glovedone. Did you know that before I put my foot in my mouth on a TB and slammed the soul of young, fresh-dead actor, I saw the movie Tremors? It's true. But little did I know that Burt Gummer is more than just a character in a film. He is an icon of burly testosterone, a walking temple of military midichlorians, and a pillar of strength against the evil might of assblasters. And he is also the father of the soon-to-be saviour of the universe, by virtue of his having repeatedly shoved his erect salami into Reba's seafood pantry.
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Hi, I'm Salma Hayeks boobs. THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/mystarhill/2225004539/
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Hi, I'm Anne Hesche's rubber penis. And since Ellen Degeneres is done strapping me on and shoving me up where Anne goes poop, I find new employment here, as your greeter at the First United Scatalogical Church of Chan. Please, come in and open your mind to the possibility of new life as a Warciple of Gummer and a slayer of those who have already known death. Please leave your $50 processing check at the office of the bursar, and you shall receive your complimentary Graboids Rule! bumper sticker.
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Good thing I wasn't drinking my coffee when I checked that out--my monitor would have been wearing it
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I mean, she should change her name to 'Holy Shit' cause that's all you can say when you see her
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I would love to motor boat those...
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2true came up with the blueprints
Burt shaped her breasts with the white cliffs of Dover
Ash called forth the spirits to bring her down to earth
Warwick whispered the code of life into her ears
and Tony Jaa kicked the fire into her eyes
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Hi, I'm Rosie O'Donnell. Did you know that Burt has been chained me up in his safe room "educating" me on my infidel ways? His mustache has gouged my infidel eyes out, while Tony Jaa has smacked the shit out of me with my own right fibula? The more you know.
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Thems are some juggins, milk me momma. Pillow, I'll send her over when she's done cleaning the mildew out of my bathtub and has pledged her complete devotion to Burt, bears, Warwick, 2true, wolves, Ash, Fred Ward, Roy Scheider, No. 2 pencils, Hal9000 and Drone 3 from Silent Running. Oh, and after I've shot my wad
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"Burt has me chained up in his safe room...."
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of the divine trinity in anticipation of Salma's arrival. That, and I have a pile of dirty dishes for her to clean. And my pole needs to be stroked.
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Q: Apart from Burt's massive blood-engorged graboid, name the most sacred thing to ever touch Reba's sweet strawberry squid?
A: Burt's moustache. -
That was really Burt's mustache.
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She could practice pole-vaulting over your graboid, then sick your shrieker on her. You know, it only makes sense to indoctrinate Salma as part of our new religion, seeing as how she played an undead vampire queen in Dusk to Dawn. Only in our religion she is an icon of goodness, like Reba or Dench, and she'll be painted on the ceiling of Chang's Grocery, where we shall have hired mexican teens handing out shoes and jeans to new recruits with the secret induction words, "Here, Rhonda."
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Hello, I'm the smell of lilacs eminating from Salma Hayek's cornshooter. Did you know that in Tremors 3, the graboid that crashed into Burt's concrete bunker died not from blunt force trauma, but because Burt choked it from the inside out WITH HIS DICK.
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Hi mon, I'm Doug E. Fresh, star of Cool Runnings. Did you know that a drop of milk from Salma's nipple can cure any disease known to man. The ancients called it Ambrose: honey of the Angels
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That YOU knew to reference Cool Runnings, or that I recognized the title and the abject failure associated with it, and thus saw the humor in it, when I read the name. Ah well, I guess I should pray harder to Gummer tonight, and keep sleeping in my ammo vest.
Quick, someone reference Cuba Gooding! -
Hi, I'm a ham sandwich from 1978 that Karen Carpenter failed to eat. And I'm here to tell you that bullets and chainsaws will be the holy water in the Next War to Save the Future. So stock up now
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Hi, I'm Cuba Gooding Jr., star of Disney's 'Snow Dogs'. Did you know that the Easter Island statues are based on early sketches of Burt Gummer and 2for2true? And that Warwicks seed is also called "Royal Jelly"?
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As required by our teachings, I've already painted a picture of Salma on my office's ceiling. It seems this is against company policy and qualifies as destruction of company property.I'm also thinking that my wife will frown upon Salma being painted in all of our home's ceilings. Women. Can't live with them, pass the beer nuts.
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Hi, I'm Play, you might remember me from such hit movies as House Party 1 and House Party 2:bringing down the house part 2. Did you know that BUrt Gummer went back in time, to the beginning of his lineage and had sex with his ancestors, therefore his is the father and the sons and daughters of each of his people
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Hi, I'm a snow dog who became very 'friendly' with Cuba Gooding Jr. Did you know that Salma's hotness burns hotter than a FLAMING LEG KICK?
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Later boys, off to class. There's a 50/50 chance I stick a pencil in one of my group member's mouth. Closer to 100% I stand up in the middle of class and scream "SHITHEEL" and propose that the class meditate to Burt and Ash while reciting "Burt's mustache is the spice to Ash's mechanical hand's sugar".
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Hey there, it's me--Julius Green. I played ShoNuff in Barry Gordy's "The Last Dragon" back in 1985 and kicked Taimak's ass when he tried to show "the glow." But now I'm here to say that now YOU can own these fine commemorative Church of Chang postcards, each depicting an icon of the One True Scatalogical religion. Now YOU TOO can have a collectable print of Salma Hayek's naked glory, as depicted on the ceiling at pillow's house. Just put on these sneakers and jeans, disavow all wimpy things in your life, and recognize that Warwick Davis once played a trophy on a mantel in a movie, and did so brilliantly.
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we are almost at 1000 guys
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with lethal pencil stabbings to the jaw, clavical and pancreas.
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to the four of us. Burt Gummer and his amazing penis + mustache. 2true and his stabbings. Ash, and his witty one-liners. Warwick as a dust mite. Tony Jaa's flaming leg kicks. and last but not least. Salma Hayek's wonderful breasts
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Can't wait for the movie.
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Did you know that Burt once put out a fire at an orphanage by climbing the spire and urinating on it? It's true. And when he pee was still gone, but some flames still raged, he masturbated on it. Which demolished the structure, but the fire was out.
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Tremors 5? Don't worry--kloipy is hashing out the script right now, and I'm making graboid costumes for my kids and waiting for response emails from Fred Ward, Reba, and Stampede Entertainment. Response or no, we've given ourselves a green light and Tremors 5 will be a reality. Followed closely by Megaforce 2: Ace Hunter Begins.
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I'm having trouble with the characters, in the fact that 2true doesn't show up on film and it's hard to write a character other than Burt Gummer. And Warwicks people are telling me he is currently in orbit around saturn. However Michael Gross has agreed to be in the film and any sequels to come.
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is ultraviolet, maybe Burt can help us out by wearing a 2true T shirt, or having 2for2true on his license plate. Or maybe he can invent a new gun called a 2for2 truzi. I am negotiating with Ms. October "Kate" 1974 and Dr. Rhonda to return for a lesbian sequence.
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I can agree about censorship Mori and I think the MPAA are overzealous, but at the same time we have to look at situations out of the box.For example, I like to look at most of us here as hardened veterens of film, whereas not everyone views things in the same way.Guns, killing, weapons, etc are the lifeblood of most of the population on this site and the thought of pulling gore out of a film is as offensive as it is to those who think that too much violence is gratuitous. I know, I know all of you would call that "pussy" or someother random Family Guy slung together insult. I remember when "Saving Private Ryan" was out and I wanted to see it with my father (who served in WWII) who was very Clint Eastwood-esque up until his death. He told me that he found the violence in the previews was unnecessary for him, because he lived it and didn't want to see it on any screen.At one point in time, I actually worked for Disney at the MuppetShow, in which a mother once asked me, "There were guns in the show. I don't show my children programs with guns or violence and it upset them.", she then asked for the guns to be removed from the film. Now that, my friends, maybe a case of extreme parenting and a crippling of a child that once exposed to the nature of the world will crack. Just like Chevy Chase and Dan Ackroyd in "Spies Like Us", this kid gets a combat rating of PUSSY.
Like many others on this website, I grew up watching Starksy & Hutch, Star Trek, Raiders, Jaws (shit we were afraid of the swimming pool after this), Alien (again, afraid of our basement), Star Wars, First Blood, etc...all violent films of the past, which at that time in the late seventies and eighties was acceptable. I have played every videogame system from the arcade and Commodore 64 till present, and to this day have not commited a random act of violence toward ANYONE, nor have any of my brothers, or any of my friends who grew up liking the same programming, movies, or videogames.Today's society and media place blame on everything because they want an answer. We are more connected then we ever have been and we want to know the truth! As Big Jack said, we can't handle it. The truth is, in fact, is that SHIT HAPPENS. I worked countless hours in an ER to see many people die for no reason, no matter what we did to help them. When I was in college, a student shot one of the professors dead in class. I was in the same building. Police were there within minutes. Classes were postponed for a day. No big media frenzy, just a side note on the evening news. It was a year before Columbine (http://www.media.wayne.edu/1998/12/11/suspect-surrenders-in-campus-shooting-president-expresses-grief-for-university-community). Where was Michael Moore then? Hell it wasn't even included in his documentary and it fucking happenned in Michigan. Money whore.My point is this, when what we see is dictated, you can take it at face value (we got an Indy trailer, yay!), we can plead that our Point of View is violated by MPAA (Which in fact is trying not to be biased, because as Americans all of us, including War Veterens, Pussy breeding parents, and hard-core movie lovers, have the right not to be offended; after all, that is the MPAA's purpose), or we can sit back and own up to the fact that as adults, we can understand that censorship has a place balance in society. -
in the film as well as having a long speaking role as Burt's little buddy
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where Warwick's character meets Gummer, he says "So you're the famous graboid-hunter? Hmph. I thought you'd be taller."
Burt just stares at him, then asks if his mother knows he's out so late. -
just in the nic of time.
Warwick: THat was close!
Burt: Yeah, a 'little' too close! -
I'll see you later Abom!
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in Tremors 5, there will be a hardcore sex scene with Burt, Warwick, and Reba. Burt and Warwick will double team her while she eats a piece of rhubarb pie.
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Holy shit, we've been doing this all day! We're heroes, and Burt is proud.
I'll help write the lesbian scene with Drs. Kate and Rhonda. Because I want it to be really tasteful and elegant and sensuous, with lots of hot melted butter. -
so I could actually watch it Goddamn
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If it came out Wed, I could still see it at midnight Tuesday and not have to miss it because of my own wedding. Yes, I said my OWN wedding.
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That one had me laughing out loud, guys. As did many of your other ones. Best non-Indy talk inan Indy Talkback I've seen in a long while.
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that proves God does exists and loves most of us (but not anyone with a handle that states with "glove", "braff", "2", or "memories".)
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for you guys:
http://tinyurl.com/yrplzv and this http://tinyurl.com/2vedfg -
OH YEAH!
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Look at Spielburg's and Lucas' track records over the last decade. SS has his oscar so he does not even care. GL has absolutely no street cred any more. I can't wait to see it but I am going in with low expectations.
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AND TAKE YOUR LUNCH MONEY!!!!
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http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3ic60f3f2e7077b9b8dc969933f25fc601All six major Hollywood studios are now in the Blu-ray Disc camp, a day after Toshiba has pulled the plug on HD DVD and Blu-ray became effectively the only next-gen game in town.Paramount Home Entertainment quietly came onboard via a statement sent exclusively to The Hollywood Reporter on Wednesday: "We are pleased that the industry is moving to a single high-definition format, as we believe it is in the best interest of the consumer," the statement reads. "As we look to (begin) releasing our titles on Blu-ray, we will monitor consumer adoption and determine our release plans accordingly."
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absolutey brilliant. I've been laughing all morning.
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"Thou must fix thine internet connection at home, as thou has been most lax in spreading the holy word outside of office hours" And Jarv was humbed by the words of the almighty and said "messiah, it is not my fault, I am but a lowly warciple. It is the fault of the great Satan, British Telecom, who are proving to be a complete group of fucknuts and are refusing to come and fix my phone and broadband" and 2true heard the prayer of the humble Jarv and screameth "shitheels" and proceeded to lay waste to all of BT with his pencil of total destruction. And all was again good.
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"Shitheels, I must attend many a pointless meeting full of middle management tossers, when this time could be better employed spreading the holy word" And the holy trinity heard his lament, and took pity on the Prophet. 2true sent the divine messengers Warwick Roddy Piper and Tony Jaa to visit Abom. The divine messengers said unto him "Warciple, thou shalt tool thineself up with as many pencils as you can fit into your camo vest, and when you have completed your mighty work you have divine mandate to stab any shitheel infidel that dares to utter "proactive" in the mouth. And Abom was pleased.
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The holy trinity spake thus unto him "Kloipy, it is thine mission to trawl the internet and find many pictures of the nubile fuckpiece Salma to share with your brethren. Such work is good and pleases us mightily for she is a fine piece of ass and to kick her out of bed for eating crisps offendsd us mightily." And all were pleased.
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It's hard to type with a pencil in your hand
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for he was being sorely tested by the forces of darkness. Verily, the minions of Shaitan were manifest in his office, and truly they had taken the form of the dreaded Auditor. The Divine Trinity took pity on pillows, and decreed that their Warciple shall be saved. To this end they sent the holy messenger Tony Jaa down unto Pillows' home town, where he was to lay waste to all auditors with a Flaming leg Kick. And the auditors were flung into the abyss, where they were consumed by the Bates to know misery for all eternity.
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1)Thou shalt covet Salma 2)Thou shalt grow a proper stache 3)Thou shalt mightily smite all graboid scum 4) Thou shalt respect the holy movies of tremors, Evil Dead and Lep. 5)Thou shalt not, under any circumstances, be a shitheel 6)Thou shalt be adept with a chainsaw and boomstick 7)Thou shalt not allow thine salvation bunker to become low in provisions. 8) Thou shalt use only appropriate ammunition. 9)Thou shalt have a way with one-liners. 10)Thou shalt have a healthy contempt for drippy little whores.
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Hi, I'm the reanimated corpse of john Belushi, and I'd just like to say that Burt is the only person to beat me down a 1 metre line of cocaine.
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Woo-hoo!
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Feb 21, 2008 6:40:53 AM CST
I've load the ten commandments to my company's website
by just pillow talk
The "HR Portal" shall be cleansed of infidels and drippy little whores.
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for smiting my enemies and sending them to The Bates. I will now go into solitude for 25 seconds and pray for their souls.
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Feb 21, 2008 6:44:58 AM CST
I have now made some hot chocolate in honor of Saint Ash
by just pillow talk
Aaaaiiii....must....continue....drinking...burning....liquid....hot....magma....
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shop S-mart
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but decided that there was no need for that to be a commandment. ALL HAIL THE HOLY TRINITY
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while I'm at work this week. That would be a terrible sin.
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Burt, I honor your existence with my stubble. GRABOID!
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to me as Willow. I think the snickering as subsided a bit as I've tied a blanket around my neck to serve as a cape.
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and lined it with mustache creams and a trimming kit. The Burt was pleased
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Feb 21, 2008 7:20:57 AM CST
I've lit my legs on fire twice now in honor of Tony Jaa
by just pillow talk
The first time I caught my chair on fire, so I had to cut that attempt short. The second time was a resounding success, though the burns are quite painful. On the plus side, it set up the fire alarm and we had a nice break from work. Management was not amused though.
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at work the 10 commandments. I'm calling it "Team Building".
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so I can see from the ground up like good Warwick
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Because we fucking rule.
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we need to rain fire from the sky
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questioning why I ordered 10,000 #2 pencils. I promptly called them a bunch of Shitheels and then said I declare war on their department in the name of 2for2true.My pencil jihad against the purchasing infidels has begun....
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about the Toxie musical directed by Brett Ratner??? what the fuck is that about?
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I didn't have a chainsaw handy, so I just nawwed it off.
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It's subtitled "The Legend Begins." But they aren't talking about the legend of the graboids, or even of Perfection, Nevada--but rather the legend of the MAN, Burt Gummer.
The story takes place in like 1877 in Rejection, later known as Perfection. Chang's ancestors just opened a store, but the town might shut down because the main source of revenue, a local silver mine, is threatened by a new infestation of "dirt devil" trilobite monsters.
So in comes Hiram Gummer, Burt's great-great-great grandad, owner of the mine, from Philadelphia, to find out what the hell's going on. He starts off nothing like the Gummer Man we know. He's prim and proper. All about manners. Doesn't even own a weapon. It takes a hired gunman, Black Hand Kelly, to show him THE WAY, with terrific one-liners like, "Just cuz you full growed don't make you no man."
The graboids are barely in the movie. The story focuses rather on Hiram's journey to TRUE MANHOOD, and how he grows a big enough backbone to save Rejection and return the town to prosperity. It does, however, end with him owning and enjoying a large cache of weapons. Oh, and at one point Hiram does claim he was "denied critical need-to-know information." -
To Perfection. I will kneel in the spot where Burt Gummer first destroyed a graboid and I will weep
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on my front door to my office. I think it sends the right message to my co-workers. 1) Can you smell the manly stench? 2)Don't fuck with me. 3)Want to tremor my graboid ladies?
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Pillow, you shall be the Mead Mujahadeen of your office. If the purchasing officer gives you a hard time, he must be dispatched with a laddy to the mandibular.
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every movie should be about the legend of Burt Gummer
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on my face
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So now we have our crown jewel of civilization....PERFECTION. Our Holy War begins...
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Hiram Gummer, that is, was with a giant ass punt gun. It's like a big ass shotgun whose snout is in a different zip code than the trigger. It's very phallic. I wonder why Burt Gummer's likeness isn't on some form of American currency.
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but I don't want anything touching my mustache-in-progress. Burt wouldn't want that.
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in bed last night. in order to please the gods
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Granted, I've drawn him on, but I think he appreciates that. When cashiers give me a hard time, I just punch them in the face and yell "graboid lover!"
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so that I may look more like Burt. I was created in his image
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I always ask for some sugar.
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and handing out fliers about the triune god.
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Feb 21, 2008 7:38:32 AM CST
I've been talking to scientists/doctors/witch doctors
by just pillow talk
to see if one of my legs can be permanently on fire.
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that's what you should shout out in the throws of passion
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I have 10,000 pencils that say we'll be successful.
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that is sinful. Troma is the new testament. How dare the Rat with his ridiculous mediocrity attempt to upgrade the genius of troma. He'll make it bland, boring and shit.
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That I am a good three or four inches shorter than Michael Gross. I will purchase elevator shoes and grow out my sideburns. Still no email reply from Stampede Entertainment about their official acknowledgement of our Church of Chang. I'll keep bugging them.
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as my "magical willow".
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Stay the course.
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here is the blasphamous tome
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35677 -
Yeah, you can walk down the halls of your office, even when you're not in FLK mode, and your leg will be going whoosh whoosh whoosh as you stride, seeking your next victim.
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the date that Burt fell from the heavens to walk amongst us mortals. the coming of His birth was the reason for the end of WW2
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thought this was an Indy 4 talk back...
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I wonder if I can write off the Attack Pack as a religious donation on my taxes this year? By now we should be recognized as a real religion.
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just wanted to let you know that I got a call from Warwick during is orbit around Saturn last night. He is in and is making his way back to earth asap
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You have two days of catching up to do if you hope to successfully convert to our new religion. If you've seen Tremors or have a 1977 porn star moustache, you have a head start.
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Worst case scenario: you get audited eventually, and then you teach them the meaning of pencil jihad.
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at the nursing home last night on the occasion of her birthday. She was thrilled with her new Attack Pack, even after she realized it wasn't a box of medication or an enema kit. I suggested to one of the nurses that perhaps grandma and her friends could have a little DVD party tonight and watch some Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward and get their juices pumping. Although too much Gummer might prompt a few strokes.
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pencil to mouth
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the sound of Burt's voice gave them all the power of sight and premature hair grown on their upper lips. Even the girls
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/duffea/2097309828/
I heard a gunshot -
After visiting grandma I walked to the other side of the facility, the hospice. There, I helped change some colostomy bags. Then me and some terminally ill patients watched some of Tremors 2. One man tearfully said that Burt gave him the strength he needed to "cross over." I held his hand and told him that when he sees the light, he should ignite his leg and go.
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I think Tony Jaa is like the Reaper of the Church of Chang. He FLK's you to the other side
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I'm going for an NC-17 rating. At least the first 5 pages of the script I have done are going to be NC-17
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Burt give me strength
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I just have to deal with my new "quota time" thing on web use. It truly sucks balls.
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They keep trying to make me do work here. They must have mistaken me for someone who shares belief in their mission statement.
Yes, perhaps Tony Jaa is like a divine transporter of souls, and the best that any of us can hope for is to live long, full lives--and be FLKed in our sleep. -
you are the epitomy of a drippy little whore and are not fit to wax the almlighty burt's moustache. Go away before I am forced to smite you.
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were trying to keep you away from religion. We should file discrimination reports, as this is our place of worship
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that perhaps in T5 we can get out of perfection and maybe get some graboid action in a bustling metropolis. I for one would find it very amusing if some ass-blasters and shriekers attacked our downtown office building. Even though I am a Warciple, I would not fight or harm the creatures until they killed off some of the morons here. But after that, all bets are off and I'll prime my chainsaw arm and make ready with a ridiculously huge knife, whose blade is not hollow but rather extends through the hilt, because that's important.
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up there in that "Dancing With the Stars" ad. She looks like a raccoon with all that makeup, but I'll tell you what, I'll deliver some salami to the rear door of her delicatessen any day. That's Mrs. Harry "Perseus" Hamlin! He bangs her all the time!
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Lo, it came to pass that Shaitan sent one of his assblaster underlings, the infernal braffed/glovedone to pollute and sully the holy TB. But the Warciples were wise to the ways of the smelly one and were not fooled by his futile attempts to derail the sacred scripture. They spoke thus unto him: "Get the fuck out of our TB, Drippy little whore else we unleash the forces of the Holy trinity and you get stabbed repeatedly in the mouth with a pencil, before being fed to the graboids" and mightily chastened braffed slunk away, but not before yeling "OWNED, YOU'RE ALL GAY". And all was good in the Talkback of Perfection.
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that would be quite cool. Burt could parasail off of a skyscraper, machine guns in his hangs as he flies down city blocks gunning down the 'boids.
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this doth truly blow.
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that the next most-popular TB after this one has 500 fewer posts. For the second week or third week in a row, whichever TB we decide to hijack with our Burt-Bears-FLK-2true-metaphysics becomes the ipso facto number one forum for intellectual discussion. Which explains why I've been feeling a whole lot smarter this month. And manlier.
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and wait calmy till the initial furore passed. To while away my time I would load my elephant gun and wax my moustache.
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2true needs to stab that shitheel in the mouth
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my balls now touch the floor that's how manly i feel.
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You'd think we'd have time quota where I work (a city government), but nope. So work becomes what I do when I'm NOT surfing the net. Not the other way around. If they insisted otherwise, I'd pencil stab them.
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people in my unit, "Just because you're all growed up don't make you no kind of man."
I even tell the ladies this. And insist that "A real man gets on his own horse." -
I'm going to write Stampede again and propose that we collaborate on some marketing items. Specifically, I want a few dozen grosses of No. 2 pencils with a Tremors-Gummer theme. That way, I can stab assholes with a "dirt dragon" pencil and doubly honor the gods.
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it sounds like Tremors 4 was the inspiration for There Will Be Blood
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they should make condoms that look like Burt for her pleasure. And condoms that look like graboids if you are taking a peek in door #2
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really, it's ridiculous the lengths I have to go to to waste time.
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I didn't see TWBB, but yeah. Except it's a silver mine instead of oil, and as great as Daniel Day Lewis is, we're talking Michael Fuckin' Gross here peoples
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they must really hate us to pull some shit like that on you
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that second kind of condom they could call the "ass-blaster."
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he should be nominated for an oscar for all his groundbreaking work he did for Tremors
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that's was hilarious. Good play my friend
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It's just one of the trials and tribulations that warciples must occasionally overcome. Or it may be the fact that I spent so much time here this week the Quota Time limit kicked in on me early. Either way, it's arse.
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I want to etch a picture of Burt on the moon SO large that it's all you can see in the night sky
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a ribbed variety of condom and call it "Reba's Pleasure." Because when your lady is already familiar with big guns, sometimes it takes a little more.
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it tastes like a mix of rhubarb pie and Salem cigs
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Here's an idea. Go fuck yourself. and for the record, Michael Gross sucks
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The worms have turned
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And truly the true warciples were riled at Braffed. Here's an idea we're going to strap you to a pogo stick in the heart of graboid infested territory and make you hop home. get to fuck.
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FHM projected a giant picture of a butt naked British Chidren's TV presenter onto the house of Commons. I think they should do that with Burt.
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Once again, you have to start with me. It never ends well for you when you try and knock me down from my throne.
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How dare you speak ill of his name!!!
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out into the galaxy for it will bring alien life to our planet to worship the supreme being. BUrt Gummer is the Fifth Element
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...the Attack Pack is only ten bucks on Amazon. That bitch is MINE!
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WTF? Holy shit, that's awful. It would be the end of talkback if everyone instituted that draconian measure. Or at least intelligent talkback as it would only affect those with jobs.
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it's so cheap because the message needs to be spread, just like Salma's legs
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Apparently there was a lunar eclipse last night. At least, that's what they're calling it. News media would have a hard time telling people 2true blotted out the moon with his rage
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Michael Gross hates you anyway, and so do Jesus and all the other gods of every religion. They're in consensus that your existence is both accidental and appalling. Go choke on a dick for blaspheming Gummer
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but only if you buy "used--very good" condition. Which is cool, but not quite good enough condition for me, because I need it brand spanking new so I can fetish over it and peel the shrink wrap off like I'm undressing Salma, in full anticipation of consummating something very special. Which is why I bought 17 new Attack Packs yesterday instead of one used. Plus, I'm going to keep a couple unopened, non-violated Packs on my altar. But ANY attack pack is better than none, and any single Tremor DVD is better than no Tremor DVD.
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I would thank him for the wonderful bounty of Attack Packs he has bestowed upon us
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it was blood red like 2true's eyes
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that will take me to Europe, specifically Belgium. Our fucking parent company gives us shitty projects to do all the time, providing them with numbers they don't even look at nor understand.My jihad will be a lonely journey, but one that is absolutely necessary. This Belgium evil must be purged through pencil stabbings, FLAMING LEG KICKS, chainsaw hackings, and mustache twirling. I may or may not make it, but in the name of the holy trinity and everything that we hold dear, it must be done.I will pack a can of baked beans and a picture of Salma. I must prepare....
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we shall hold a vigil for you
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People around here keep trying to get me to DO THINGs. But after stabbing the deputy chief and a couple typists with pencils, I suspect people might get wary of approaching
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I know the feeling, it's like I need time to reflect, not finish this project that you can't figure out
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"Would Burt deem this task important? Would this memo be worth Burt's time? What would Burt do?" The best I can do is stay prepared with plenty of sharp pencils and one leg soaked with gasoline.
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he'd be down in his bunker plowing Salma, Reba, and the Heaton all at the same time, because like the graboid, Burt has three large dicks
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to post all your scriptures in one place, print-ready? I want to make a booklet for my bathroom and some pamphlets to distribute in my neighborhood. Then I'm going to go to the video store and put notes inside the Tremor boxes that say, "Congratulations. You have made a concsious decision to change your life in a positive, meaningful new way..."
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the thing I'll do is cut and paste them into word, tidy them up properly and then if you find me in the Zone (as shite as the zone is) I'll send them to you.
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that if Gummer was born in 1947, then MG was MY age when he was the dad on Family Ties. I would say this makes me feel depressingly old, but then again anything I have in common with Gummer or MG is cause to celebrate life and rejoice
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the thing is, our company email got inundated with the most appaliong filth spam e-mails, so we went and complained to IT. IT then consulted our head office who then took their chance to implement this horrible spam filter, and with it came the internet block. It's truly pointless as I am tech savvy enough to get round it, and I actually waste work time putting in the countermeasures.
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They were found in the decimated ruins of the original Changs store in Perfection. That's why they are full of typos and we only have fragments. it is interesting that we are named, and braffed is recognised as queen of the Drippy Litte Whores.
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see you guys later
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you are not mentally equipped to deal with me. I am wise in the ways of the scriptures of the church of the holy Trinity and you are a cunt.
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refresh yourself in the ways of Gummer. As once did Val and Earl prepare juevos and java in a hibachi on a pickup truck, so do Warciples take sup in break rooms and at campfires everywhere, always ready to do their part with an FLK or pencil-gutting.
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"For the fighting sustenance we are about you receive, May the holy trinity make us truly thankfull"
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real men listen to in Perfection, Nevada. With some Ramblin' Jack Elliott, too.
www.tomrussell.com -
you are right. i am in no way mentally ready to fight a retard. ass
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is to have leaflets dropped all over the world. Those trees would not have died in vain, nay, they would have sacrificed themselves for the greater good. And that good ultimately being the fucktastically great tits of Salma, Patricia, Reba, and countless hot MILFS around the world.
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You are not mentally equipped for the TB beating that will be administered. You will have to retreat to your sad dank basement, get your mother to bring you some milk and cookies. You'll be sitting there, rocking back and forth, crying out "WHY CAN'T I GROW A MOUSTACHE? WHY?".
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With each new chapter of the scriptures we can have a naked photo of a milf. truly, the numbers in the 2true church would spread.
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I've been trying to log in the Zone, but it keeps telling me my name and pass are incorrect. It might be some kind of cookie thing, which I get here on TBs a lot. Just wanted you to know, so you don't think I wasn't trying.
Pillow, I'll bet Patricia is one of those MILFs who secretly really wants it bad, but then when she's getting it, she'd act like she doesn't like it at all, and she'd make a pouty face, but really she's loving every minute of the graboid backdoor delivery -
There the answer will come to you glovedone. It may take the rest of your life...but go. Now.
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It's a pain in the ass. I'm out of here- see you all tomorrow. I have to go and sacrifice many pints of guinness to the holy trinity. Beat up glovedone for me.
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Stay on the rocks and avoid the naked earth, lest a dirt dragon spring forth, and stay fast to the truth that is a flaming leg kick to the crotch.
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but she let it slip last night with me when she shouted "ooooohhhh, pillow, devout follower of the all might holy trinity, give me your graboid one more time, and make the bed tremor again!"
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pictures of our favorite MILFS. Later Jarv. Perhaps you should drink a FLAMING GUINNESS as well.
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Now who should be the human sacrifice at work today? I'm thinking Sheila from Accounts Payable. She's close to retirement age, so really, what's the point in not giving oneself up?
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thanks for proving my point numb-nuts. Really Jarv, the "basement" gag has been done to death. Try using your imagination and think of something else. mmmkay,Kiwi?
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I am now registered in the Zone as "Abom." Pillow, maybe you can 'convince' Sheila that crossing over is for the greater good.
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they images shall be painted upon our vestments
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or "Mothers of Munitions."
Is it wrong to tell a hot chick at the office that you like her hair a certain way more than another? That her ass is splendid? That she shouldn't worry about watching her figure, because you've been watching it every day for the last four years, and everything looks yummy from where I'm sitting? -
she just can't take a compliment
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any one of those 3 would work well. Or we could just call them "Salma's Tits" and that says it all
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"Hey baby, did you know that I'm an astronaut? Cause tonight I'm gonna explore Uranus"
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her chair smells great, even when she's not in it.
Mothers of Perfection has a nice ring to it. It should have been obvious, with the -tion ending. Nice work. Burt smiles approvingly, holds up a thumb. -
I don't have my afternoon coffee yet, because it would have snorkled out of my nose at that astronaut joke!
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that was gold man
"hey honey, you really need to check that spot of mold in the upper right hand corner of your shower, just wanted to let you know" -
at work and ask if they want to ride the holy trinity train.On a related note, HR sucks big ox balls. Clearly we have separate notions as to what qualifies as sexual harassment.
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throw them in a large hole, surrond in with cutouts of Burt and repeat
"It puts the mustache on it's mace, or else it gets the can of mace" -
if it's unwanted. I know, I'm a lawyer, and now I can put that expertise to work for my church. So if any chicks give you grief about certain behavior, just whip out that graboid and say, "What? You're telling me you DON'T want THIS? Pleeeze."
It's winter, and my kids get dry skin. So I'm telling them to put the lotion in the basket all the time. -
It qualifies as harassment. Otherwise, it's just foreplay.
Oh look, they finally corrected the spelling error in the Indy statue ad above. So now he's no longer a Raider of the Lost Arc. -
all over Salma's floaties"
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A: Ass blaster.
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kind of like a dirty sanchez
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Mios dios! Mios dios!
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and squeeze her quesadillas
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Si!!! Si!!!!
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muy grande
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And eat her Gordita!!! Muy delicioso!!
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but you mentioned Salma Hayek.
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Spicy!
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I'd love to go south of the border
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While masturbating to the Attack Pack information at dvduniverse I noticed they sell a triple pack of Leprechaun movies for under ten bucks! They have a 5-pack, but at 39.00 it's hardly the same value as the Tremors set. The 5-pack is called Leprechaun: Pot of Gore.
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yeah we found out about the Pot of Gore one day, we need to own both!
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to the First United Scatalogical Church of Chang, where all true is known with a single flaming leg kick to the crotch. Whump!
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Yeah, gimme theatre for 10,000.
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no way in hell. There is only 1 Burt and that is Burt "the Lord" Gummer from the high powered films known as Tremors
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if the Attack Pack and the Pot of Gore showed up at my doorstep, I think my dick would explode
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Is that Taoist or Buddhist? Either way count me in, I'm over the Jesus thing.
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THAT Burt. My fault...
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has and will always be
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my dick did NOT explode, I would tell my wife: "Look, you get the kids to school and pick them up and feed them. You can write me off for the week."
Now, why the fuck is Fred Ward's "Time Rider" not available for purchase? I need me some Lyle Swann. -
only we, the annointed ones, will be chosen to be FLK'd up to the Heavens, as the heathens and non-believers will wallow down below with tickle torture from Warwick's little feather duster
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I quote: "I loved Phantom Menace [...] overall it was a good, fun movie that would be right at home in the 1930's, which is what Lucas was trying to do in the first place." (end quote)Man, what did you smoke? Lucas was trying to make a 1930s space battle movie in ultra suckage mode?
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itself shall also be played by Warwick.
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each snowflake is played by Warwick, and if you look closely the also form the visage of Burt
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He is your partner in the pleasures of Hayek.
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speaking of snow, when Santa Gummer comes to town at my house and all the relatives receive a brand new Attack Pack. It's amazing to think that until then, they shall be as ignorant as I was a week ago as to the One True Way. Truth is a hollowpoint in flight.
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Dame Judi Dench's succulent strawberry sardine pie for breakfast standing up, all while using a freefinger to probe her netherorifice, all in the name of truth, which shines so bright when illuminated by an airborne Tony Jaa flaming leg kick.
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twas the night before Burtmas and all through the void, not a creature was stirring, not even a 'boid
Warwick was napping inside his small nest, his mouth softly suckling on Salma's sweet breast
2true got some coffee and went of to bed, with visions of mouth-stabbings running all through his head
The stockings were hung by the fire with care, in hopes that Tony Jaa's leg kicks soon would be there
Then down the chimney came Burt in a dash, the only thing he left was a hair from his 'stache
So he left all an Attack Pack, he filled us with joy, little Ash got a chainsaw under the tree for his toy
So don't be upset child, it hasn't been a bummer, next year you will get gifts from Old Santa Gummer -
Enjoy it, the 605 is sleek. I saw one in person at the Sharper Image. You do have to pay extra for the Web browser, but IMO it's worth it.
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And does it involve Michael Gross, Fred Ward, or Tony Jaa?
I like the christmas poem because it includes everyone. I think I shall design a holiday greeting card with a watercolor painting of Warwick nestled in Salma's arms, suckling from her winnebago -
Warwick, the soft babe
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again real soon. I have Cannibal Holocaust on order for the gang
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The Pot of Gore, an Attack Pack, and a moustache grooming kit.
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just watch their eyes light up during the turtle scene
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Just read so many great things about it. That's why it's on order. Before I take it to the nursing home, I'll make a copy at home, you know--for the kids.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNE9XdICUjI
Xiphos just bought himself one nice toy ... onto which he can load the Tremors series and latina porn in honor of Senora Hayek. -
there's some sick shit in that movie. It's one of those 'you only want to watch it once' type of movies
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16GBs is pretty good, right, if you use DivX or something similar to cram your movies into 1GB instead of 4-6GBs. Can it make toast and coffee? Shee-it!
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are you suggesting I might want to consider another film for my child's 4th birthday party this summer?
Barney Goes to Perfection it is. -
kids gotta grow up sometime
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It's the gift that will continue to give devout followers guidance and wisdom all year long...I must confess I wept like a baby after reading that. I can only fathom how the holy trinity smiles down upon thee...
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I keep coming back until someone REMEMBERS seeing Richie!
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the suckling
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browsing dvduniverse, too. Isn't that a new release this week? Naturally, I clicked on the title because it smacked of torture porn. I knew Burt was proud.
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I shall refer to all breastfed infants as 'graboids.' I don't care if they're family or not. At social functions, I'll ask "So, how's your little graboid?"
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right after their viewing of Cannibal Holocaust
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hope you enjoyed the movie massacre. Now it's time for some chalupas, and after Salma tends to your little ahem, burritos, we'll watch us some Tremors 2: Aftershocks. Ole!
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if she is that shot, it only means 1 thing. That she came from the soft loins of Salma. Because only Salma can birth beauty
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she has always 'been'
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just...fuckin...wow, guys. hahahahahahaha Long live the First United Scatalogical Church of Chang And Salma's incredible & lusty looks.
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just wanted to say congrats, I read that you are getting married soon. that's awesome news. It's a lot of fun. Just make sure she understands the Burt Gummer comes first
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She may be okay with Burt Gummer, but it's getting past the Shrine to Salma I'm a little worried about.
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And because we're going to be on an island without a first run theater, I won't be seeing Indy opening midnight/day/night. There's an outside chance I may note even get to see it until June when we get back from the Honeymoon if one of Kauai's, solitary movie theatre doesn't have it (it's a small theater).
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over and over afterward, right? Just like visions of the Mothers of Perfection dancing in my head right now.
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looks like a female version of senator Palpatine.
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No sweat bra, I was on Kauai when T2 came out and saw it night after opening. You should not have a problem.
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I have a thoroughly tedious working day to sort out, but I'l get the recovered scriptures of the one true church to you.
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go eat a dick. Heretic.
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congrats on getting hitched to the coffin wagon. on the plus point, you get your laundry done, on the minus, unless she is versed in the glories of low rent cinema you will have to spend a long time re-educating her. I know, my wife has a few days off work and she is at home with strict instructions to watch Tremors 1 & 2, Reanimator, Evil Dead 2 and at least one Troma movie.
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and likes them. I think it is coolio's appearance that won her over, she hates coolio. She also likes The Descent, so I have high hopes for her, but she'd better not touch my shiny new MEGHAFORCE DVD or I'll be pissed.
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Curse my hungover typing.
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I sacrificed many pints of Guiness to the Holy Trinity yesterday, and made my devotion clear with several packs of Pork Scratchings. As a result, I now feel like death on toast.
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Feb 22, 2008 3:19:20 AM CST
I would do, but my evil work Quota Time is about to kick in.
by lost jarv
Which truly blows. I may compose some more holy scriptures in word and then do a sort of guerrilla attack and post them. It's a right pain in the arse.
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"And lo, my brethren, you must convert to the one true church. For if thou forsaketh the ways of manliness thou willst be devoured by the graboid. And then when the graboid leaves you in its faeces that too will be devoured by THE BATES. So wax up thy stache, arm thyself with appropriate ammunition, sharpen thine pencil and convert to the one 2rue church"
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It's a new Kathy Bates movie, her massive gravity field prevents anything good happening around her. That's why she's known as the infernal pit.
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quota time
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and Abom, I accidentally sent you incomplete scriptures. The messiah Burt is most displeased with my ineptitude, and he has spoken to 2true to discipline me. It's because I was trying to do it fast. I'll do them again and add any more over the work day. I may fuck about with fonts and shit as well. PM me an email to send them to- at the moment I'm just going to cut and paste them, but if you want the whole file that's the way to do it.
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I'm the guerrilla warciple. I sneak out from my survival bunker, post and then run away again.
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I have to go shovel some fucking snow before going into work but I will be in to defend our tb as well
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The Holy Trinity has been speaking to me all morning and I have greatly enlarged upon the scriptures. I'll post them later. (I'm not at my PC at the moment)
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thou shalt keep a dead TB going. Especially one as great as this
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DON'T WANNA BE ALLLLLLL BY MY SE-E-E-E-ELF
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Think I'm losing it.
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I'm here to help bring back the Pack Attack
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Because I was just informed last night that my wife hasn't seen any of the Tremors movies
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but I then thought to myself "If life gave Burt lemons, he would cut them up and shove them in peoples eyes" so then I felt better
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but I thought if it rained on Burt he'd be more concerned with keeping his Ammo dry.
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watched Frida and that Piaf biog. i was so pleased I didn't have to watch them. Lovefilm had better send Tremors 3 and 4 to me. I've got them on High motherfucking priority.
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That Army OF Darkness is still TBC- only 5 people have to request it before they go and buy it. What the fuck is wrong with the British Public?
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I was going to do that anyway, but Lovefilms ineptitude is pissing me off
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that Warwick got his start in the business by playing a balerina in a music box?
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wankers. They are forcing me to unleash the power of the holy trinity.
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I don't want to see Tremors get bumped off the list for something like 'Beaches" and "The English Patient"
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that just doesn't make any sense at all
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almost every one of her picks on there is now a James McAvoy movie
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I would suggest Ed and His Dead Mother. Steve Buscime is in it. I just put that on my list last night, along with Basket Case 1 & 2 and Tromeo and Juilet
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because of the McAvoy crush. I needed to rub my balls with prime rib afterwards just to feel like a man again
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coming. He's gonna flaming leg kick the testosterone back into my household
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last night I was looking around for Burt/tremors stuff and I came across a 'graboid board reader' and lo and behold there are four names showing up under this board as follows: Just Pillow Talk, Lost Jarv, Abominable Snowcone, and Kloipy. How great is that?
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which was actually really good. It was much better than I expected it to be. I haven't seen We Own the Night yet, but I've heard that Eve Mendes shows her sweet areolas in it
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but not until I've had bad taste
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I think that is awesome. We are the KYLE MOTHERFUCKING REECE WARCIPLES and we live to spread the word of the Holy Trinity
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get series one of Shameless. Don't watch Starter for 10. It's crap
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why on earth do you keep coming back here? you cock hungry little bitch. Go fuck an olive
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shit, that's what she put on the top of the list
here's the link Jarv, once it opens just click on one of the AICN things and it brings you to our TB
http://boardreader.com/tp/Graboids.html -
I just think it has 0 rewatch value. Hence why I was horrified that the wife had queue'd it. It's cos she's latin
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Starter for 10 is a horrid twee rom-com about University Challenge which is one of the wankiest programmes on the box
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our tremors and graboid chat is about 5 of their top 10. We haev done well spreading the word.
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no eraserhead. No series 2 twin peaks, I find it astounding that they have all the Lep movies but not Eraserhead. It's bizarre.
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or worse, fallen into the Gaping maw of the Bates? Where are my fellow Warciples- we've got Braffed to repel.
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and I've got Erashead coming in a few weeks. Lovefilm needs to get on the ball
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Burt told me that would be a sin and he would be forced to shave off the eft side of my Stache. I can't have that.
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It is because they have this policy (which is quite sensibe really) that they will only purchase once they have enough requests. It's so annoying though because some of the misses are absolute classics (AOD, ERaserhead, TP etc)
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MEETING CANCELLED. Honestly, what sort of cunt books a meeting at 4PM on friday afternoon?
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that more people haven't wanted AOD on there yet? Just doesn't make any sense
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I know the pain of those. And then people ramble on past leaving time and you can't just get up and leave and then some jackass feels the need to keep asking retarded questions and you just sit there wondering what he would look like with a pencil stabbed through his stupid mouth
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coming along nicely. And I've written an intro as well.
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with clips from eraserhead set to Airbag by Radiohead. The two complimented each other very well
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I don't want to talk to some cunt about paper clip consumption.
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I can't wait to get to that book.
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but he won't say anything you'll just hear someone say "Is that Coolio?" and then it's silent for 90mins
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I heard there was naked Salma in it. But unfortunatly she has that horrid unibrow in it
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Jerusalem became Perfection.
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Tony Jaa, Tony Jaa legs burning bright
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but you're better off watching Desperado for some Salma titties.
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I shall make them available to all who want them. They're mostly the ones off this list and a few more I've added.
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!Dios Mio! she's so sexy
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over the weekend. We'll have to infiltrate the next piece of crap news and do it again.
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but I have a soft spot for atina women.
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I'll wear a Burt Costume dipped in gold and cry a lot
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but I have a soft spot for latina women.
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That is totally acceptable behaviour for a warciple.
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though this TB may fade, we have the power to bring another to this level of quality.
I don't know what it is about latin girls but the just exude hotness.
Well, I'm off to lunch before the roads get to shitty. I'll be back soon though my friend -
what a poet.
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I have to go to the pub. It has been a very trying week. Latina women are great, albeit a bit moody.
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that I give you the time I do. Jarv....go fuck yourself
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so I am going to use this time posting about Braff and his need to suck Graboid ringpiece
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"You should all feel honoerd that I give the time I do" erm, why?
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you pubeless wonder, that you constantly harp on at us for lack of originality (which isn't true- see this TB) and then repeat post "OWNED" or "YOU'RE ALL GAY" or "GO FUCK YOURSELF". You really are a little simpleton, and you're about as welcome as a case of pubic lice in a brothel. Now, child, please do fuck off.
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that's hilarious Jarv
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had become seperated from the pack. He deemed this his chance to confront the warciples, as he believed himself to be their equal. But he had not reached puberty, and so was unable to grow a stache so the warciples squished him like a bug.Satan felt foolish.
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it won't make any difference. I think he likes it.
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which flung themselves into a ravine
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*sigh* Burt demands that I sacrifice many more pints of guinness. Only 2 minutes to go.
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Let me know if you want the complete scriptures Kloipy. Any contributions to the Book of Legends will be most welcome.I'm going to get a load of Tremors and Evil Dead and Lep images to illustrate them.
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still have 3 1/2 hours to go though
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I would love to get a hand on the scriptures. Have a great weekend!
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I checked into Kauai theaters and sure enough there's a few "first run" options. Jarv, we've been dating for a long, long time, so in a way it feels like we've been married, only now making it "official." She's got a ways to go in her "Troma" educational studies, but the core of our all-time favorite movies still overlap quite heavily. On the other hand, I still haven't gotten her to sit down for They Live.
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it's been damn entertaining
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pull your tongue from your mother's asshole and show a little love to your sister's fecal funhole. She won't stop begging for triple input from the rest of us, but we won't touch the skank.
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"Pickled for his mom's pleasure"
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get a fuck clue, dipshit. No one gives a fuck about you.
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the only reason I'm even "recognizing" your miserable presence now is because I'm hoping to extend this TB's life...at least for a few minutes. fuckwipe
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how come they're all people I don't want a life sized bust of? I want Paplatine's wrinkled tits on a shelf? Hell no.
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you fucking drippy little whore.
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that way we don't have to see your pathetic posts.
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fact
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fact
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fact
-
fact
-
fact
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Feb 23, 2008 11:34:03 AM CST
Warwick is the cause and solution to all of life's problems
by just pillow talk
fact
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Feb 23, 2008 11:34:56 AM CST
If the MILFS of the world would unite, the sun would go dark
by just pillow talk
fact
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Feb 23, 2008 11:35:50 AM CST
being a holy trinity disciple takes dedication and hard work
by just pillow talk
fact
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fact
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Feb 23, 2008 11:37:25 AM CST
stabbing shitheels in the mouth is good for society
by just pillow talk
fact
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fact
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Feb 23, 2008 11:39:28 AM CST
drinking hot chocolate is good for the little demons inside
by just pillow talk
fact
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fact
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fact
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Go go go!
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Thee names be Burt Gummer: mustache power supreme and Reba poker, Ash: giver of sugar and undead killer, and Warwick Davis: power of a thousand stars, plus he's Lep.
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fact
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fact
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mother fuckin' fact
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You can call me crazy but the Clone Wars trailer looks bad ass!
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we tried guys, we really did. But we were up against some tough competition. But we did our best and I think Burt would be proud of us
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but at least I get to write the Obit:
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*sniff*goodbye old friend. We shall avenge you. FACT
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*sniff*goodbye old friend. We shall avenge you. FACT
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I wonder how I managed that
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LAST LAST LAST.
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fucking Oscars...
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fucking oscars
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Ash has the book of the undead and is not afraid to butcher the words!
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But if you can golden man, I'm coming for you drippy little whore!
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Feb 25, 2008 1:40:16 PM CST
we will persevere finky! the holy trinity commands it!
by just pillow talk
die golden man!
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now I'm having lots o' problems even getting the page to load
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It would like to thank Burt and Reba's vagina, which has been tickled by it too many times to mention.
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a faithful disciple-in-training
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Feb 25, 2008 1:50:33 PM CST
2for2true's pencil wins the oscar for best mouth stabbing
by just pillow talk
On accepting, 2for2true gives a shout out to his disciples.
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His hand that went bad accepts since Ash could not be here tonight.
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he knows how to "cut" a movie like no other
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now, just hoping we don't get banned. Pray to the Gummer God we don't!
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Not to get too far back on topic, but there are pictures of the giant ants (this flick's "snakes/rats/bugs") here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/no_onions/sets/72157603940580923/ Sorry, just remove any spaces int he url cuz I'm too lazy to go to TinyURL.
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mmmm
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I'd do it
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and well planned safe room.
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guess we have to keep it going, now that it's been resurrected.
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They should do public messages.
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They are that special.
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Feb 25, 2008 2:45:35 PM CST
make sure you bring plenty of pencils to your meeting
by just pillow talk
It always helps to back up a point by threatening to stab them in the mouth. Oh, and be sure to yell "SHITHEEL" a bunch of random times.
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his head went "ka-blewy!"
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Scary dedication. At least that's what the holy trinity calls it, and you know what they tell us is gospel.
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The reach of the holy trinity spans the universe, nay, their reach be farther than that. The universe is a limit in the imagination, they are something greater.
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I wanted to post more today but the connection was fuckin' slow as hell, I'm so happy to see it back up :) Burt be praised!
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and the steam on the mirror had an image of a #2 pencil, a sign from the gods
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gotta go do my daily devotional by putting on my mustache and kneeling before the Gummalter
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The Burty Dozen
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Done Burt Cheap!
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I mean you, Salma...and the Mothers of Perfection.
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Burty Work
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have to split, comrades.
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there's always tomorrow (if Burt's will permits.)
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I couldn't get the damn thing to load at all yesterday. Truly, the holy trinity is pleased with us all.
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Amazing.
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because I'm here by myself all morning and I don't want this to drop off the top ten
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The toecutter and the grand humungous. Just the names alone give a clue (Yes I had a mad max marathon last weekend and am unsurprised to discover that Beyond Thunderdome was still 2/3rd's of a great movie marred by horrible children)
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Lena Headey and Diane Lane. Oh hell yeah, this is going to be one complicated fresco in the church of chang.
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hopefully I've sown the seeds for some new ideas
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Diane Lane is a MILF supreme.
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to maul those horrible children. It only makes sense.
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Feb 26, 2008 6:10:54 AM CST
Plus, they're had to have been some pissed off bears left
by just pillow talk
Could have had two bears called Growl Disembowel to counteract Master Blaster.
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Growl Disembowel. He can eat the disbelievers.
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It greatly puzzles me since I thought I was supposed to post inane stuff on AICN, but apparently that is not always the case.
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Do they not know that spreading the word is far more important.
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coming along nicely, I've mocked them up to look like an archaelogica discovery and have hymns, proverbs and psalms. Not to mention excerpts from the gospels (I need some more gospel names) and some miscellany It's 18 pages long now. I do this at work as well. It's no wonder I'm on quota time.
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We have returned!
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one of us pops up to keep the thread going while the rest are away,
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Get me an email address in the zone and I'll send you what I have so far
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it's the corpse of Kung Fu Panda that Burt Disembowelled with his bare hands (no pun intended). It looks great mounted in the entrance.
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I've never even been in there yet
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I'll return later.
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it's basically horriby watered down TB.
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gotta get ready for work
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it's under my same user name
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was wrong with TBs yesterday? It took me all day to long on. Burt almighty!
I have downloaded all the Evil Deads, Reanimators and Phantasms--none of which I have seen before. I wanted to have an educational week. Lessons start tonight. -
I agree with your MILF additions to the fresco. And BTW thanks for the scriptures--I got 'em in the zone, my first foray there.
Yes I too was disappointed that the Oscars didn't tribute real men, like Roy Scheider and Burt Gummer. The Oscar itself should be shaped like a giant gold hydroshock hollowpoint, not a naked man. -
you haven't seen any of the Evil Dead yet? Dude, you are in for a treat
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over the years about it, plus they have Bruce, who is one of the gods. I liked Raimi's Spider-Mans, not withstanding part three. So I'm confident I'm in for a schlockingly good treat. I think I may have seen clips of "Army," that's the one with the chainsaw arm, right?
In other news, Hillary and Obama are debating at Cleveland State University tonight, if they can make it here in this shit snowstorm. I'm going to print Jarv's scriptures and take them to the debate and present them to the candidates. In other other news, still no response from Stampede Entertainment about our ideas for Tremors 5. -
the Evil Dead series is nothing like spiderman it is 100 times better. Funny, scary, fucking awesome.
As Teddy Rosevelt started the Bull Moose party I think that we should start 'The Graboid Party' running as independants. Burt be with us -
i am beary disappointed in these people. We are bringing them gold which they seem to misunderstand. I guess they are too busy building Burt's virtual basement
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I'll watch Evil Dead tonight. Probably followed immediately by Evil Dead 2. I'll save Reanimator for later this week.
The hot chick in my office just walked by and said good morning. I'd like to rub my graboid tentacle on her. What a cutie. Further research by me indicates that the Attack Pack consists not of 4 discs, but 2, with two features on each, and some extras. But it is still well worth it to buy 23 copies and give them out, so that people can begin to understand. Also, I'm disappointed that Fred Ward's "Timerider" isn't widely available. I'm ebaying for that fucker, because I haven't seen it since the theater. -
They currently stand at 18 pages of wisdom, and veriy are a mighty account of the battle against shitheels.
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Also Abom, I'd watch Evil Dead 2 then Army of Darkness and save 1 for another day. 2 is a more comical version of 1 and covers a lot of the same ground. although 1 is more frightening, Basically don't watch 1 then 2 in a row.
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that's not an Attack Pack, that is an Att Pa
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Comedy/horror never been so good. And I like the "Graboid Party", however, after thinking on this, you know our beliefs cannot be contained with a governmental system. It is beyond party lines, political tugs of war and whatnot...When we take over, not if, it'll be because the word was spread and the believers rise up and push aside all the bullshit that current politics bring us. One day the Church of Chang will simply "be" ruling over the world. As it should be.
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yeah man I agree. The first time I watched ED 2 I didn't know what was going on because it seemed so similar at the start except for less people. But I'd also say 2 is better
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that while 2 is a sequel, it is also more or less a retread of the first.
Pillow, I like what you said about the gods being greater than the universe, which may have a terminus, whereas they do not. -
it's a disappointment. And I've waxed my Stache to demonstrate to them why they should follow the church of chang.
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how great it is to have us all back in this TB right now. It's just good stuff
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Feb 26, 2008 7:34:48 AM CST
2for2true just communicated to me through my tape dispenser
by just pillow talk
He said he is going to "visit" Stampeded Entertainment personally and have a little "talk".He's not happy.
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is the right to BEAR arms of course
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No, it DOES have all four movies, it's just crammed on two discs. I was hoping for four discs, one for each movie, because that's like, two more opportunities to have Burt's picture printed somewhere.
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Yes, and we shall lead the enlightened to salvation. And smite heretic shitheels. The 2true church is above petty politics, and running stuff like the economy is clearly dull.
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I got a little scared there
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The holy trinity cannot be 'defined' by puny humans' words. They just....are.
-
would keep the staff at Stampede from feeling the pain of a full-on pencil stab to the jaw. I don't want to condone violence on them, because after all, they spawned Burt. But they are failing in their obligation to further his cause on celluloid.
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It's just the funniest TB. Especially as there is no news at the moment.
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of Army of Darkness? Or I think it's Bruce's cut actually...the ending I think is far more appropriate.
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Clearly Stampede has failed in its obligation to the Holy Trinity, because if you fail one, you fail them all.
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Then Burt said 'Let there be Salma" and there was Salma, and Burt saw that it was good. And then he rested
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and I think you guys are best prepared, being Warciples and highly versed in the 2true ways, to answer them:1) Should I give a fuck about Iron Man? it seems to be provoking some sort of collective orgasm and I couldn't care less. 2)There's a film called Untraceable openning this weekend in London. I kind of want to see it, but I think it may be torture Porn (which is an affront to the holy trinity). Does anyone know anything about it?
-
is that the one with the 1000 year thing? I slept too long?
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and only something due to the holy trinity. And Salma. And hot milfs. And cuties in the office (sorry Jarv).
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definately prefer "Hail to the King". Although the other one is good too.
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I will be sure to listen when my tape dispenser speaks today. And my hole-puncher. Come to think of it, I have no idea why I have a hole-puncher on my desk. I never use it. Surely it is a medium through which 2true can bless me with his voice, which is loud as thunder but as melodious as the music of the spheres
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I prefer that ending myself.
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Yes, I believe Iron Man will deliver the goods as it will, and I am hoping this wipes clean the memory of Spidey 3 (Can I get a hell yeah from Brother Abom?), along with the Dark Knight.
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IF I stab 2 fellow employees and one auditor in the mouth with my pencil.As it was, is, and forever will be, I will do as thee commands thy humble servant.
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Every loyal disciple must have one. It's like our bat signal.
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I saw a commercial or trailer for Untraceable somewhere. It looked stupid but for the fact that Diane Lane is in it, and she's friggin beautiful. But the story looked like a mash of The Web, Firewall, and Bourne Identity. Basically, a lot of stuff we've seen before. So if I were to pay to see it, it would be in the name of whatever heaven lies within Diane Lane's creamy lilac garden.
I am sort of excited about Iron Man, for a couple reasons. One, because it's Robert Downey, whose career interests me because he's a good actor, and ever since he came into the public eye, people are always bothering me to tell me I look like him. And I'm excited because I'll take my daughter to it. We're into that superhero shit. We even see the dumb stuff, like FF2 (cringe!). -
but Superman Returns and Spiderman emotes killed my interest in everything apart from The Dark Knight. I do like RDj though, but I don't understand the level of excitement at it. Cheers for the Untraceable heads up- here they are trying to paint it like a horror movie. I may go and watch it and submit a review.
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looks pretty cool and Downey is awesome
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I know you have been riding the timewaves, but read the TB- there is much of the holy scriptures in it. ignore Braffed though, reading that is actually a waste of brain.
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...I am not among those in the "collective orgasm" over Iron Man. I'm closer to achieving climax because of Indy 4. I picked up a few Iron Man comics back in the day, but I never read 'em straight through for more than a year. Apparently he had a big part (as a pseudo bad guy) in the recent Marvel Civil Wars, but I don't know much about that. I'd have started collecting comics again, but they're too goddamn expensive.
I also wanted to mention, in case it didn't make the TB yesterday, that I saw a Barbara Walters special the other night. She interviewed Ellen Page, who did not really impress me until the end, when she sang with an acoustic guitar. Then she became kinda hot. I liked her as Kitty Pryde, one of few good things in X3. But I did not find her so hot that I masturbated to her; I saved that for the Harrison Ford interview at the end. He was his usual monotone deadpan self, with a couple small smiles. It was cool. His perfect day? Some time with Calista and the kids. Some time flying, working. A good meal, a good glass of wine. Burt would approve. That's a MAN (even though no firearms were specifically mentioned) -
maybe it's because I'm British, but I always got the feeling that he was a third rate hero, and only fit for guest appearances in other characters stuff. I apologise for my ignorance, but this is really why I am not excited. I had more interest in Daredevil than I do in this. And I think I'm not alone in being "meh" about the whole thing.
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my best friend hadn't heard about Tony Jaa or his amazing flaming leg kicks, so now he knows. The are also selling teddy bears in my office so I went on a rant about how they aren't 'real' bears
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I wanted to much to like Spidey 3. Mostly because I really liked the other two, and because I saw them shoot the bank truck chase here in town, every day for a couple weeks. It was a cool time. I brought my kids down to watch, and they met Spidey (not Tobey--the stunt guy in the costume, which is as close to the real thing as you can get). But the storyline was just too messy, too many characters. Too much crying, by everyone. Even my 3 year old son knows that the "Doc Ock" movie is better.
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but the trailers are making it look kind of cool. But I understand the feelings about it, Jarv. After Spiderman 3 and such I also lost any real excitement for more superhero movies
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I hated it so much. The last film to provoke similar feelings of hatred in me was Superman Returns. How the fuck do they keep thinking that when we sit down to watch a comic book movie we really want to be watching some emotional drama? It's beyond stupid.
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I love the scene with the train how he looses his mask and no one says anything about it, that's some good shit. Just the way they look at him seeing him as a human for the first time, just nailed it. Also X2 was fuckin great
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For me, Iron Man always bounced back and forth from A to B list comic book hero. He always had his own comic, even during his time with Avengers. In the states, he's at least as popular as Daredevil, probably more so. But not a "household name" superhero. What I mean by that is, if I showed my mother a picture with Spidey, Hulk, Batman, Superman, and Iron Man, she'd be able to identify all of them but Iron Man. Shellhead would look familiar to her, maybe, but she like most non-geeks would not know his name.
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to smite Lionsgate for refusing to release Fierce People in region 2 in the Cinema or on DVD. It's driving me mad, because it was an excellent book, and has Diane Lane in it as a coke addicted yummy mummy. WANKERS, RELEASE IT NOW. OR SEND ME A COPY.
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played off nicely and fit with the story arc, which was, Peter was having a hard time with life--but these New Yorkers finally realize that this KID, Spiderman, is risking his life to help them. So they'll keep his secret as a way of showing gratitude.
But in SM3 I think Raimi (or whoever was responsible) took it too far by having Spidey fight the last battle without his mask YET AGAIN. I know they think they get more emotion out of MacGuire's face than a Spidey mask, but jesus how far can you take it before everyone knows who he is? -
and she was excited. Then I told her it was called "Iron Man" and she went "who?". She's American, but could never be called a geek, despite my re-education programme in the Church.
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why the fuck even bother wearing the suit anymore?
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but just the very idea of Diane Lane addicted to coke is hot.
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although it was more subtle in that- they basically just shredded it. It defeats the point of a costume if he's going to lose his mask every 3 minutes. You don't see batman fighting without his. I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't a contract clause from that tit maguire.
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really, really good. I was so pleased when I found out that it was being adapted. Then they started delaying the world release. It was finished 3 years ago. It drives me mad, even though I do understand that the subject matter would be difficult to get past the censor in the UK.
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wikipedia's entry for Untraceable makes it sound like a cross between a computer-crime thriller, like I thought, and a Saw-type horror movie. It says Lane plays a cop who is after a serial killer who puts victims in traps. He streams video of the victims online, and if enough people 'hit' the website, the victim is killed. So I guess it's a cross between the two genres. The commercial I saw featured lots of computer monitors in bureaucratic offices with fluourescent lights, so I guess I pegged it as a cyber thriller.
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I hate it. I shall return shortly. I need to use it to get images for the scriptures- but I'll send you all the text later today. It's getting huge
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about a Rasta superhero. Dee cards don' lie
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I need some info on this. The Wikipedia entry was basically what I thought from the UK trailer. More Diane Lane in uniform, less Torture Porn and it could be OK.
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and drinka dem Kalik beer all day on da beach-a, an' smokin' dem ganja.
I can envision the dreads hanging out the back of the helmet. And the armor would be yellow, red--and green. Look up Peter Tosh "No Nuclear War" on wiki. Kind of like that. -
I just want it noted that Diane Lane in the fresco should be wearing her Judge Dredd costume.
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that I ever recall seeing are Kristanna Loken in that military attire in T3 when she infiltrates the skynet compound. And also that hot chick in the TV show JAG, which I never watched but I was VERY aware of her
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and Bahamians drink careb. fuck knows why they both are minging.
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that's hilarious! Lord 'av mercy!
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she looked great in and out of uniform, even though the movie was a steaming turd.
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that movie makes me want to have 2true smite me. Though Biel did look hot as shit in it
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Peter Tosh was pretty good. He was like the John Lennon to Bob Marley's Paul McCartney in the Wailers. And like Lennon, when the group broke up and they went solo, Tosh's music was more biting and socially conscious. Anyway, I thought maybe we could incorporate that breastplate and face mask into the Iron Mon armor.
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is FUCKING hot!
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and must have watched it on an otherwise very dull evening. She was the only thing that got me through it. Is she in any good movies? I can't remember.
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I grew up listening to them as my parents were hippies so they had all the albums on record
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Biel's ass. Also after watching the Oscars I must say that we should add Cate into the MILF collection
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although she is in steaming turd movies- TCM remake and Stealth were both dreadful Talking of which, there was The Wicker Man on UK telly last night and I rewatched it. I'd forgotten how fucking good it was and how consistently awesome Christopher Lee is. His turn as Lord Summerisle is frankly terrifying.
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not just any coin--a Sacagawea coin. I can't believe she's only 25. And dating that no-talent Timberflake. 2true and Burt don't like it when hot chicks get big heads and don't include regular he-men in their dating pool. Because biologically speaking, it doesn't make sense, because it increases the chances that any male babies produced will be wussies and un-Jaasome.
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not to mention the fact that it is so quotable- "Why would you jump through fire fully dressed? it's far safer to do that naked" "Jesus Christ is dead. He had his chance."
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he can't sing, can't dance, isn't that good looking and women love him. Truly he gave Satan one almighty fucking blow job. 2true holds timberflake in nothing but contempt.
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I miss Hammer movies, just awesome moody stuff
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who are simply famous for being famous, like Britney or Paris Hilton. At least Britney was authentically attractive for a couple years there. But now they're all known simply because, well, they've BEEN known for a while. And when they make the news, it's not because they just released some great album. It's because of who they're seen with. I remember back in the old days when musicians got famous for great music, and actors got famous for being in kickass movies, like Megaforce
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The Wicker Man is Jaasome. I'm still waiting for the remake, but feel it may be more in the low rent comedy side than like the original- which is eerie, creepy and has one of the nastiest endings ever filmed. Not to mention the awesome performance of Lee and Edward "The Equalizer" Woodward. How he held off shagging what's her name is a mystery. Frankly he deserved to be burnt to death. "Aren't I young and Nubile" asks butt naked island girl.
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I just purchased a elephant leg bone (ebay of course) and am anxious to break someone's tendons with it.
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I read somewhere and I pray to fuck that this is not true Dickheadlake is the great Jonnie Cash's grandson. That doesn't want to be true.
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if Barack Obama wants to win some voters tonight in Ohio, at tonight's debate he'll dress like that guy Cyrus in the "Warriors" and keep asking if we can "dig it" with his arms outstretched. I can totally see him doing that.
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Never mind. At least one of us got it.
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It's inevitable that some cocknocker will remake it.
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I last read that they were moving it to Los Angeles, because that's where all the gangs are now, and that it will feature guns, because that's all gangs use now. In other words, it won't be stylized violence, and it won't be like the Warriors at all. It'll just be another modern gang movie with drugs and automatic weapons. I freaking loved the Warriors when I saw it, and I was only ten. It was my friend and I who preached of its glory to other kids at school, and when it became a cult classic we took credit for it. At least in our neck of the woods.
That reminds me to DL Protector. -
Seriously, how many times do they call him "the man". I feel he is ike a prophet. I don't think he can be a warciple as he got shot, but a prophet has to be on the cards.
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the broken bones fight in that movie is fantastic
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Moviedrome introduced me to it. And Rock Star made a surprisingly Meh game out of it.
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he was also "the one and only." I can't recall how many times my friends and I reenacted his brilliant speech and assassination. Fewer men have died onscreen from a gunshot so nobly. He is a shoo-in for the Church of Chang, and perhaps with as few as nine delegates we can take over the world one burrough at a time, cuz it's all OUR turf
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Feb 26, 2008 8:54:34 AM CST
I always think in lunch line now, "what would TJ do?"
by just pillow talk
I then proceed to do my Jaa imitation and start breaking peoples arms and legs. I find that the lunch line moves much quicker that way. Plus they are usually out of work the next day and the line is that much smaller.
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Fucking quota time. see you later.
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think they can make me do stuff
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you can sit wherever you want in a crowded movie theater. If the sprinkler doesn't go off. At a parent-teacher conference the other day I was getting annoyed with my daughter's teacher. She looked at me like I was crazy when I yelled "Flame On!" but then she saw that my leg was a phoenix of fire. It was the last thing she saw before waking momentarily in the ICU with third-degree burns and a broken cheekbone
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on cold wintry mornings like this. Instead of scraping ice off the car, I simply leap over it a few times and bathe it with the heat of my rapidly gyroscoping leg flame. I once blew up a gas station in this manner, however
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at night the children gather round my FLK and roast marshmallows and sing songs about the legends of Burt and 2true. I weep with pride at the joy of their song
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"You shall burn sage and mustache trimmings at thine alter. You shalt sacrifice a graboid by way of no2 pencil to the face. You must cut of thine hand and raise it to the heavens as you stare unto the nipples of destiny. And we shall be pleased"
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at his home in Thailand he raises elephants. So not only is the most kickass bringer of death, he also has a sensitive side as well
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gathered around my outstretched FLK and roast marshmallows--on pencils. Extra crispy. Gummer, GUM-MER! Gummer, GUM-MER! He is the ONE with a GUN who shall saaave ussss from shiiiit-heels! Tony Jaa-ja-ja, ja-ja, Ton-ee Jaa-ja-ja-ja!
I once read that Tom Berringer was gonna play 2true in a movie once, but they decided not to cast him because he wasn't nasty enough -
...are my buds and all, and the posts are great, but damn -- yousa gonna get banned for sure. How many more Aquaf@gesque talkbacks will be tolerated by the powers that be before it's hammer time (can't touch this)?
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till we meet again...The word will be spread again.
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2true 2true my hearts desire
you've melted my heart with Jaa's legs on fire
Burt you are here and gone in a flash
you fill our hearts with a warm mustache
Ash, ash you chop off our hands
you put an end to the deadite plans
Church of Chang is the way to go
when the seas grow rough and the nights grow cold
We'll fill our glass with some jerky and gin so please absolve us of all of our sins -
til we meet again my fellow Warciple
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Wasn't that a John Cafferty song in "Rocky IV?" Legs On Fire?
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but we never push our luck. We always max out at about 2,000
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we avoid a banning is that the posts here are not 1 sentence spam posts. whereas in the likes of Aquafag it was just a clever title- really we should have been done for the Bear thread if we were going to be,
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...to Burt's ear, Jarv.
Blessed be. -
on Mirajeff I can't believe we didn't get banned for that one.
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or the zombies, or the midnight meat train, or the...
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and I'm sure the trinity will protect it's humble Kyle Reece Warciple. *Crosses fingers*
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Talking back?
Burt would not be pleased at the exercise of emminent domain, should the right of free speech be foreclosed upon. You know the best defense of the 1st amendment?
The second amendment. Burt be praised! -
Even if we get banned we can come back after 3 days wink wink
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Which is inherently wrong.
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or zfisk, or AnimalStructure, or Racistfinger, or any of the other truly obnoxious trolls then we should be OK. at least we're following the true ways in a proper and devout fashion
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but I think it may be more interesting to talk about here: You know the "X film made me do it" bastards well this saggy old excuse has been used thousands of times very, very unconvincingly-
Just look at the wide variety of films that these despicable lowlifes try to blame: (all of these have been "linked" to crimes at some point) A Clockwork Orange, Natural Born Killers, Child's Play 3, Straw Dogs, Reservoir Dogs, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Old Boy
What do these films have in common? nothing, not a damn thing.
It is fatuous tripe to try to suggest that a film may in some way be responsible for depressing violent actions, when people try it they may as well be saying "a big boy did it and ran away" as what they are actually attempting to do is to blame Hollywood/ media for their actions (to quote noted sage Eric Cartman "These movies have warped my fragile little mind")and thereby somehow divert/ dilute blame.
There are two things I'm mildly curious about. Firstly, if it had happened on London Underground and the guy flat out said "The tube drove me to do it" would the Right Wing papers be calling for a ban? and secondly, why are none of the films ever Torture Porn?
Basically, all I am saying is that people have been treating each other like shit and murdering each other for millenia but cinema comes along in the 20th century so it must be the fault of cinema. Horseshit.
People are evil, and the impetus for vicious actions come from inside. Society did not make you do it, the media did not make you do it- you did it because you have a head full of bad wiring.
See, we can tak about film as well. -
been a long time since I've seen him
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I just put your talkback handles, no address. I am confident that they will find their way to you all. As part of the ritual, you will need to sharpen the thousand pencils yourself.Let the stabbing begin.
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Cheers, I plan to get on the tube in rush hour and dispense some Changian Justice. BTW, Abom now has the draft scriptures, so drop me an email and I'll get them to you both too.
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I wholeheartedly agree with you on that. People are just crazy sometimes and shit happens, if you are able to be influenced by a movie to kill someone than something is inherently wrong with you to begin with. It does look as if 2true went to go see The Signal.
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I'm Jarv. Premature posting sucks.
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People will search out for types of media, etc, to blame for any violent act.
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Soon the shitheels in my office shall equate the sound of my whirring pencil sharpener motor with the sound of FEAR and impending injury, if not death
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we don't know what implement was used for the stabbing. If it was a pencil then we can be sure the shithees deserved their taste of the wrath of 2true.
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can't access the zone at work for some reason
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I did a quick search, not thinking I'd actually find them:
http://tinyurl.com/25sf8d
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violent films. Say a nutter watched bambi and then threw his newborn son into a ceiling fan would anyone blame bambi- even though it was the last thing he watched? I do make a distinction between films and games here- the only time I've ever been worried was when I was watching a neighbours kid, and he'd bought over a game to play. I was reading a book and the horrible shit that was coming out of his 9 year old mouth was scary. The game? Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
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Hank Kingsley here. hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!hey now!
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as I don't give a monkey's about the NFL. He says it's OK for me to use my commemorative edition SWFC pencil.
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Jarv, I agree with the games on some levels but I think it all comes down to the parents. They need to teach their children the distinction between fiction and reality because children that young can't always make a distinction.
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I don't care about the NFL either, at least not anymore. Back in 1980 when they made those, I did, and I had the pencils in school. At home I have a couple Cleveland Indians Baseball pencils and a couple Red Hot Chili Peppers pencils. I'm gonna sharpen those and have a stab-party.
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so we will have the upper-hand.
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yup I've got a whole load of commerative Pencils from previous jobs. I'm not sure if 2true would approve of using office supplies. Kloipy- I think the important difference is one of interaction. I do agree that it does come down to the parent's, but the fact is watching a film is generally a passive experience. You may have an emotional response, but there is a degree of seperation between the "user" and the subject matter. however, a game is an active experience, your movements reflect directly on the movement and behaviour of the character- this leads to a higher degree of involvement in the material.
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I agree. Even in seemingly benign "kids movies" you'll see a lot of guns. I already had a talk with my daughter that guns are more or less tools designed to put holes in people. They can be good or bad, depending on the person using them. But the important thing is that they DO cause permanent damage when used, and the good guy won't always get up after. In a couple more years, I will give her the next lesson about Gummer. Her brother is almost three now, and he thinks EVERYTHING can be used like a gun. One of his current fave movies is Iron Giant, so I use that as my springboard to teach non-violence: "You are NOT a gun."
I don't tell him that deep inside, I know Gummer would be pleased. -
and esp when a child is at that age and since we live in such a fictional world anymore games can be highly persuasive to less strong minded individuals. I know people who waste hours online playing WOW. that is a little warped
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If a film or a game has an 18 rating then chances are IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN. At least look at it yourself before letting them, if you think it is objectively OK for them to see it then fine, if you have the slightest doubt then DON'T. And this also applies to those idiot American Parents that take their offspring into "R" rated movies. MORONS
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And I think the games have become excessive in terms of realistic violence. I mean, these kids live sheltered lives and just play their shoot-em-up games. Not like when I grew up, throwing rocks and dirt bombs at each other. Much more healthy.
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of raising a warciple Abom. Make sure you let him know that he must grow a proper stache, regardless of fashion.
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it looks like Hoth outside. I hope the two senators can make it without getting japped by a wampa or an imperial probe droid. It's a good bet the empire knows they're here. I'll scout the south ridge for AT-ATs. If things go badly, we'll have a couple tauntauns prepped.
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watching R rated horror, but then again my parents taught me about respect and morals so I never wanted to hurt anyone. Pillow, I miss the days of dirt bombs and in my state Corn battles, which entails whipping an ear of hard feed corn as high and fast as you can in order to hit your friends
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if so let me know
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the book is too big to get in the message window, and I'm too shit at HTML. Anything anyone adds shall be included in the final shiny version. Just let me know what has gone in.
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and he has thick, manly sideburns. Like Javier Bardem at the oscars. And he's only 3 and a half. And he's got a big adams apple and more chesthair than me. If the lid is stuck on the pickles, I ask HIM to get it off. Then he burps and goes to eat beef jerky while playing with his lego pirate toys.
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it sounds like your kids will have a great upbringing, and there is nothing wrong with pleasing Burt. He understands
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Feb 26, 2008 10:24:14 AM CST
yes. It's a word file- so I can hide that I am doing it at work
by lost jarv
I've found the perfect email address to circulate the book via as well. I would put it up here, but It will get filled with spam and crap in about 3 seconds, and I don't want Braffed polluting the portal to true knowledge.
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I use a couple emails so I don't mind giving this one out it's just kloipy@gmail.com
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had to exorcise that which had been pounding in my mind all morning.
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but I did it behind my parent's back. Thus, I knew that it was "bad" to be watching. I still scared myself silly with AliensIt is a lot harder to get 18 certificate stuff when you are not 18 in this country than R stuff in the US.
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and I wore the tape out
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Kloipy, now that's something we never had in our arsenal: veggies. Abom - Had to watch Empire a couple of nights ago. "And I thought they smelled bad..on the outside."
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It is mostly collected from here, but there is some new stuff as well. I'm at a loss what to do with it when it is complete.
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my dad is not a film guy, he likes sports, but my mom got me into and supported my choice to see what I wanted. Every summer she and I would have movie marathons and she'd pick stuff that she thought I should see. this was when I was around 9-13
some movies we watched were Clockwork Orange, Eraserhead, Shining, Godzillas, Night of the living Dead, and the list goes on and on -
and the fall from grace from Empire to the prequels is simply mindblowing.
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Pillow, you guys could have benefitted from some greens and yellows. Getting hit in the face with an ear of corn traveling from 30 feet in the air at 20mph is enough to drop a kid
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only thicker, longer sideburns.
http://tinyurl.com/394zlg
Neither of my parents helped get me into movies. Two of the only movies I remember seeing with them are Jaws 2 and Rocky 2, so they get props for that. Otherwise, they were pretty strict and forbid me from seeing scary stuff, even PG schlock horror like "One Dark Night," even when all the other kids were going. I discovered movies on my own, pretty much, and learned about lots of the good ones by reading about 'em first. -
when I was 13 (I remember the date extremely well) Reservior Dogs was banned in the UK. The local cinema arranged a one-off special screening for a "banned" festival- this was pre multiplex dominance days. Anyway I was hopelessly young to buy a ticket so I asked my mother nicely if she would take me, to my absolute amazement she said yes. Anyway, when we got out, she was white as a sheet. I was the only 13 year old in the North of England that had seen it.I don't think she's ever forgiven me for that.
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Feb 26, 2008 10:32:53 AM CST
I'll forward the "document" to you finky when I get it
by just pillow talk
The west coast NEEDS this.Well, to be fair, the rest of the OT does not match up to Empire. Sure, there are many parts that I love from the other two, but nothing matches the overall excellence of Empire as a movie.
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was The Exorcist. But I got to see it at a friends house when I told his parents that I was allowed to see it. and after watching it I understood why my parents didn't want me to see it but there was no way in hell I would tell them that
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a hundred different ways. I took a bus to see it on opening day. ALONE. Based on how good Alien was. Empire kicks ass. Aliens, Empire, and Toy Story 2 are franchises where the first sequel rises to, if not surpasses, the origivaginal. Not many movie franchiseseses can boast that. Now if only they can combine Hoth, pencils, aliens, wampas, and Buzz Lightyear in one movie, with graboids...
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when it should be used as a throwing weapon for little kids....I remember being taken to see Raiders. The face melting scared the beejeebus out of me.
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any fuck ups- let me know.
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the fucking wolf G'morc or however you spell it, the Oracle scene, the nothing. The swamp of sadness, that's a heavy ass movie for a kid
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comes close to being as good as the original, especially because Gummer has more screen time. Sadly, Kevin Bacon did not return for the sequel. Thus, it logistically cannot be a better movie. The best it could ever be is AS good, because of Earl and Burt. And that cute blonde who plays Ms. October 1974.
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where those pig-dog creatures chase down the mother and kill her. But warwick kept me safe
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I can't remember--what happens at the end of "Neverending Story?" Doesn't the great Nothing win, and consume the kid and everything else?
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Atreyu the horse sinks in the quicksand and STAYS DEAD. I thought that was an important lesson for kids. But of course, he gets a new better friend--that white furry dragon thing.
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No, it almost does, but the Childlike emporess asks Bastian to give her a name, he does and then it just shows her and him standing on a little slab with nothing else around her and she has a tiny grain of sand in her hand which is the start of building Fantasia back again. Then Bastian gets to bring Falcore into the real world and he chases the bullies
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I'll have to peruse it during the day, as during lunchtime I will have to look at my holy trinity forsaken homework for one of my classes.
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the kid who played Atreyu makes that scene so sad. He's like really crying and damn if it doesn't hit the old heart strings
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a mighty, mythical Bear who smites the wicked and roars his terrible cacaphony to deafen those who refuse to hear the Truth of Gummer and the warciples.
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I remember it now, but I recall as a kid the first time I did NOT understand it, but should have, cuz I was 12 or 13.
Did Bastien name her "Beyotch?" -
the power of the words was so strong you can't even hear them in the film
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I think that should be worked into the introduction, I'm thinking second paragraph.
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Yeah, the kid screams Atreyu's name for like a half an hour. He grabs on the horse and tells it not to give in to despair, or he'll sink. But it's just a horse after all and doesn't get it. So it sinks, and the kid screams and screams and screams. Very touching, but at the same time amazing some forest creature didn't come and stab him with a pencil for disturbing the gloomy peace.
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it sounds amazing.
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of a Ferrara Pan's "Atomic Fireball," because it might help me sprout more moustache hairs.
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Burt be with you
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I'd be careful using zfisk and the other goons as a measuring stick. I've seen comprehensive ban spasms where people have been hammered for posting what has simply been considered to be irrelevant stuff. You can almost feel it coming on, like electricity in the air. I'm pretty sure I've narrowly avoided it myself a few times.
Watch your backs, brothers. -
as a kid was the original Planet of the Apes. I first saw it on late night TV, probably some Saturday at 11:30pm. The dead chick astronaut freaked me a little, as did Taylor's lobotomized astronaut buddy, and the movie's final reveal that they were on earth all along. Logan's Run was kind of like that, only that 'reveal' wasn't as much of a shocker because the story never suggested that they weren't always on earth--just a dystopian future. Both of 'em are faves of mine now and I could watch 'em again and again and again, like Jaws, Empire, Tremors. Gone With the Wind? Who needs it. Citizen Kane? No thanks, I'll take Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Terms of Endearment? There's no karate in that.
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...of which you speak?
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Aliens is great but Alien is simply magnificent. I love the first 3 of that series and half of Resurrection. I prefer to pretend that AvP doesn't exist and Neil Marshall will be making a proper "R" Alien 5. For Alien 5 I think they should semi-steal the old Earth Hive book I remeber reading. A couple of eggs survived the crash of the Auriga and the army takes it to a research lab. A group of fanatics believe that the ALien= god inside you, so use suicide bombers to break open the Lab. They get infected, Aliens get loose (with a proper gestation period- none of the AvP 30second chestbuster- adult nonsense) and eventually Earth gets overrun. The film ends with a motley crew of survivors legging it off the planet. Alien 6 could be a full Starship Troopers esque war
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that have been gathered from this talkback.
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the wolf - G'morc (I don't know what it's name was either) used to creep me out, too. Abom, the name Bastian yells out the window at the end is "Morhters of Perfection!" It took me years to figure that out, though.
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The document is the complete scriptures of the church of chang. Mostly assembled from this TB, but I've also added a mock-archaelogical intro and some bastardised bible stuff/ hymns. When everyone has done with the text I'll add tremors/ Lep/ anything else relevant illustrations. It's all in good fun and I'm doing it to avoid work. That'll teach them to put me on quota time.
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Since I finally succumbed and got a LCD tv, my first choices to watch on hither Tv was Empire and then Alien.
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and any and all changes shall be accepted. I'm a sloppy copywriter and worse designer so....Anywho, see you all on the morrow.
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I'm feeling sort of invincible after reading some of "the document". I'm thinking we may need to include Jack Burton in our scriptures. Who? Jack Burton...Me!
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No it isn't. He clearly yells "SAAAAALLLLLLMAAAAAAAA"
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if they don't cut us loose here because of the snow. It's whiteout conditions now. I think I can see a dead tauntaun laying in the street seven floors below.
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I haven't watched BTILT in ages. and I forgot snake plissken. Enjoy it guys.
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and FLK the snow abom- they can clear your path in seconds
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Both great flicks, but sorta apples and oranges, no? Alien is horror/sci-fi, while the sequel is definitely much more of a sci-fi/adventure film that still retains some of the "thriller" elements of the original. It wasn't meant to be as much of a "scary movie" as the original was intended to be. They both work great for what they were intended to be. (Unless ALiens was intended to be just as "scary" as the original. Then, I'd say, they did a better job with the first.) Nonetheless, Aliens is NOT a remake of Alien. Was that NoDiggity or M-o-M who insisted it was?
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I imagine I'll check in throughout the afternoon if they don't let us go. Cuz it's not like I plan to do much work that doesn't involve reading about books, movies or music on wiki.
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Feb 26, 2008 11:03:22 AM CST
The phrase "Porkchop Express" needs to be included somewhere
by finky089
I haven't seen Jarv's work yet, but I'm sure there's a place for it.
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I just opened the revised scriptures email. It's amazing that you've got 16 pages of the best teachings of the church. The only typo I noticed was a "d" at the end of Werewolf, where it discusses werewolf ass-fuckings. Also, the chapter headings appear as musical notes in the brush font, so for my own copy I changed those to Times New Roman. Great work, though, I look forward to the illustrations.
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Feb 26, 2008 11:13:08 AM CST
Got the scriptures. Tho Jarv is gone for today - Great work, man
by finky089
I'm an laughing out loud and only on page 4. I can't beleive there's really 15 pages so far! Bravo, sir!
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Sign me up for some of that old time religion!
I'll give you my e-mail in the (zzzzzz)Zone. -
"Against the evil of David Lo-Pan, Jack Burton and the bent, but mighty Egg Shen prevailed. And in doing so, freed the green eyed beauties, one of whom was a young Cattrall, who tempted more men than just Jack Burton (back then.) And yea, her reputation was thence forth cleansed as that of a mannequin and became known solely as the object of Jack Burton's affection to the warciples. But warciples shall be warned, always beware the Sewer monster who lurks in yonder truck cavity.
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are in pounds. I'm in the states, but even I think that in the scriptures, pounds is more appropriate. Also Jarv, I think it's called the Leprechaun "Pot of Gore," like pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I'm loving this region 2 shit, hilarious stuff
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I'll get my chance to devotion tonight. Finky I forwarded you the stuff. Hopefully it reaches you soon
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The first one is the best. Just for atmosphere and for sheer horror. the scene where they are searching the ship for it and it jumps out of the darkness at them is a tense scary scene. And the first time you saw it with the chestbusting is a definite WTF moment
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what a great movie. You know what Jack Burton always says
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could be added to a fresco, as long as it's the young one. And I'm also fond of Ellen Barkin from Buckaroo Banzai.
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...until Jarv watches MegaForce later this week. We can expect another ten pages of holy scripture after that.
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I used to have a crush on her in that movie as a young boy blossoming into manhood
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and she was in a Gilliam movie so I think that adds points as well
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This TB is #1 again. The gods are pleased.
It'd be cool if it keeps snowing, like an apocalypse of snow, and work gets called off tomorrow or my building is toppled. That way I can keep having my Evil Dead / Reanimator marathon. -
you'll love Evil Dead and Reanimator as well. Both are just classic cult horror greatness
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as you will see and enjoy
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That's all I ever think when I see her in anything.
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with a brilliant head on his shoulders. And another on his desk.
Like Tremors, I DL'd them based on discussions I read here from fellow warciples. I'm guessing I'll enjoy them. I might bring Evil Dead to the hospice with me so grandma and her friends can enjoy it as well. -
did you ever see the MST episode with Rowsdower?
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they will be over-joyed
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Then again, we used to be so fucking hung over in college when we watched them, I may have seen it and just plain don't remember.
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For real? Oh my god, that movie is awful. If not for Barry Bostwick and his gold jumpsuit, and Perses Khambatta (or whatever her name was who played bald Ilea in the first Star Trek movie), it would be a total loss. They're like a GI Joe team, with cool looking desert weaponry equipped with non-lethal beeyew beeyew lasers. Check out what happens to Ace Hunters motorcycle at the end. Oh my gawd. If only they'd gotten Fred Ward to be in it. Lyle Swann would have schooled them onproper motorcycle technique. Michael Gross was still busy with Family Ties, so he couldn't be in it. He was busy making his fingers smell like the inside of Meredith Baxter Birney.
But yeah, Megaforce is one of those movies you watch today for chuckles because it is truly horrific. I'm sure Barry Bostwick wishes he could either make it go away, or make it so his penis looked larger in that suit. Maybe travel back in time and cram some socks down there. -
Feb 26, 2008 11:55:18 AM CST
I'm jealous of you Abom...viewing those masterpieces
by just pillow talk
for the first time. The Church of Chang's doors are open wide. Take a left for the movie theater. Take a right and it's our MILF brothel.
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I haven't seen that movie in ages along with The Dark Crystal
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Enzo Castellani's cheesy italian ripoff of Jaws, called "Great White" (or "Last Shark," depending on where you lived). It starred James Franciscus, who played Brent in Beneath the Planet of the Apes.
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...it IS awful but in all the right ways. Every bum note is hit with crystal clarity. Virtually every exchange between the characters is a smug non-sequitur and Barry Bostwick is a GOD in it.
"DEEDS, NOT WORDS!" -
just beanbag chairs. Burt seems like a man who could dig on a beanbag, turn the lights down, put on some CCR, light some incense, puff a doober, and make sweet love to Salma on said beanbag
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Killer Whale vs. Richard Harris. Quien es mas macho?
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Rudy in the mother-fuckin Monster Squad. Just check out this sweet line
"I'm in the god-damn club aren't I?" -
when he's on that ice flow and Orca jumps on it and he slides into it's mouth was pretty sweet although still a rip of the scene in Jaws on the boat
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Gotta love when the shark bites the guy's legs off when he's hanging from the helicopter, and they separate from his body about a foot higher up than the actual bite.
My absolute fave moment is Franciscus's slow-mo "leap" into the water as he detonates that charge. Hysterical -- and not even because he's jumping into the very water where the bomb is going off. -
"an enormous and angry 35-foot Great White Shark takes revenge on humans when they build a beach just for swimmers by a coastal town."You would think Mr. Great White would be happy for the made-to-order buffet.
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the best bad shark movie is Megalon 3 I believe it is called where a raft full of people get swallowed by a stock footage shark and then a guy on a jetski gets eaten by the same stock footage shark
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If not a little disturbing to a child cuz of the orca miscarriage. The flip-Richard-Harris-with-tailfin trick at the end was pretty good. I remember seeing ads for the movie in comic books as a kid. I didn't see the movie myself until it was on TV a couple years later. I think this was a deLaurentis movie, his first after Kong '76, no?
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I've seen at least the first Megalodon, Red Water, Open Water, Deep Blue Sea etc. blah blah. The last megalodon I remember was where it terrorizes the hi-tech oil refinery in the arctic or something. It was terrible
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The lost Continent. They climb up a mountain for like 45 minutes then meet some dinosaurs for about 5 minutes then back to climbing, it was on Misty before, it is awful
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apart from the resort-dude's bratty blonde son and the resort dude getting bitten off the helicopter, and the girl getting her leg bitten off, is the soundtrack, which is right out of some porno movie. I couldn't believe Franciscus came to this just 10 years after Beneath the Planet of the Apes. And ten years after THAT, he went to the great Church of Chang in the Sky.
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I saw Open Water 1 and 2. And suprisingly I thought 2 was better.
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and there are all these secret songs at the end about all the Planet of the Apes movies
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you have to go back a ways and rent some of those Ray Harryhausen classics like Beast from 20000 Fathoms or 20 Million Miles to Earth, or Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. I love that stop-motion shit.
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Wasn't there one from the 60's or 70's called Land that time forgot or something like that?
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but the back said it was just about them drifting around because they couldn't get back in the yacht. Aren't any sharks in it? Or naked boobies? Anything?
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I used to eat that shit up as a kid. That and kung fu theater of course.
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all those old monster movies
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and support my kids, I would quit my job now and devote my life to making stop-motion action films with dinosaurs, robots, machine gun soldiers, graboid-type things, space aliens, monster trucks, and lipstick lesbians. It would take a week just to get one lesbian puppet to achieve digital insertion on another. And worth every second of work doing it. Because it's about the ART, people
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would run over the lesbians, and a dinosaur would stomp the truck, but a space monster would arrive and fight the dinosaur, then the army would arrive and RPG both of them, then there would be a karate fight followed by more marionnette sex, or a claymation orgy
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You will LOVE Army of Darkness Abom, they use stop motion in that and Evil Dead too
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I love the look of it. Just something so beautiful about it. I have this DVD set of stuff called The Animation Show, and it has this black and white claymation shorts called Uncle, Brother, and Cousin on it, it is really dark and funny and sad. And one about these two rocks talking back and forth while all of time from the start to the finish the start again. It is a work of art
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a stop-motion skeleton swordfight. It ought to be like, the de minimus, requisite scene
Is it the movie about the two rocks who imagine what's on the other side of the hill? And they send the bird over to look, and then a mouse? That KICKS ASS -
they can cremate me, but not before my skeleton is used in a movie sword fight and I kill a griffin or something
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Feb 26, 2008 12:34:57 PM CST
it's not that one Abom, but I know what you are talking about
by kloipy
and that is amazing too. Just like The Velveteen Rabbit and The Snowman. Just wonderful stuff. I love animation when it's used as art instead of just children's crap. There is so much potential in animation, and esp when something has a heart it can touch in ways seeing actors do it just can't. Maybe because of the faux reality of the world created.
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I want to be stuffed and put inside a glass coffee table with my warms and legs sticking up and a silent scream on my face. either that or be used as a coat rack
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and have my friends throw my ashes in people i don't like faces and real "Seth says goodbye!"
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is actually a stop-motion movie with an armature of George.
http://tinyurl.com/2fkywy
It's pretty good. But even better because it includes claymation movies of Frog and Toad Together and those alone are worth the frickin money, esp if you have kids. And the one with the two rocks and the hill is on it. In other words, this DVD is a stop motion lover's wet dream. I don't tell my kids that, though. I just watch it and enjoy it with 'em -
i didn't mean to write that haha. I don't care if you guys know, just certain people I hope don't see that
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that's pricess. Some nice family could buy your table and have nice important family discussions around it and set their teacups and magazines on it. Preferably magazines about guns. Or porn
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It's like Spiderman had his masked burned off. It's okay--we're like the subway people who won't tell anyone, because you're a warciple
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do you remember, I can't for the life of me think of the name of the book, but it had four short stories in it, one was about a rat who listened to these bees and put a nest on his head and got into this mud and ended up drowning in the mud. I think it had the word "Stone" in the title
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I feel safe with the Brotherhood
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but THAT stop-motion movie is also on that SAME DVD, I shit you not. Some weasel catches the mouse and wants to make "mouse soup" but the mouse buys time by telling stories, one of which features another mouse thwarting a nest of bees by jumping in the mud (but in this version, he lives and the bees FUCKEN DIE). One of the other stories is about singing crickets. I can't remember the others. More stop motion bliss.
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I just had it mixed up in my mind. It was called Stone Soup! Thanks man!
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on my tauntaun for a smoke. Be back
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mouse_Soup
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other than Wild Things, was this one called Scupper the Sailor Dog about this little dog who wanted to be a sailor. There's this part where he gets shipwrecked and has to build a little house on the beach. He uses pine branchs as a bed and the picture of it always made me want to live in a house like that when I was a kid
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it would have been better if a skeleton came and beheaded the weasel at the end, but oh well. I liked the Curious George and Frog & Toad stuff a lot. And it's all one DVD. Found it at the library. Great stuff, even without giant robots, lesbians, or Burt Gummer
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Arnold Lobel was the author of Frog and Toad, so that makes sense.
I think I'll do a kids picture book in the spirit of Frog and Toad Together. Only mine will be called "Burt and Ash are Friends." -
i like the one where he swallows the puzzle piece. and a claymation skeleton runs him through with a sword
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it would be the most violent childrens book ever. Do you remember the one about the chinese brothers, the one who was able to swallow the sea?
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that is SO sad. I don't know if I could even show that to my kids. They would probably hate it and I would be crying. "What's wrong with daddy?"
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at one point, then demand that he be burned, but one of the brothers is fire-proof. So then they decide to chop off his head, and naturally one of the other brothers has an iron neck, or some shit. That book freaked the fuck out of me.
My book will feature a cute little monkey...with a chainsaw arm and a woodchipper vending cart. Instead of flying away on balloons, he'll stomp zombies and help Burt and Ash decimate graboids and shriekers. Kids of all ages will love it.
Then I'll do a book in the spirit of "Everybody Poops." Except mine will be called "Everybody Dies."
Then I'll do one like Eric Carle, except instead of "Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See" it will be called "Brown Bear Brown Bear Mauls Elderly People" -
perhaps one of the holy ones in the "scriptures" should rouse a skeleton army (armed with swords, of course) to fight on their behalf?
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Warwick, Boomstick, and the Flaming Leg Kick.
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fucking priceless my friend. I was cracking up
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Gummer forgive me, I said the best skeleton fight was in a Sinbad movie, but really I meant Jason and the Argonauts. The only thing missing in that fight was an FLK and Burt Gummer shooting shriekers. And lesbians
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Panda Bear, Panda Bear, you're not a real fucking bear.
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Dr. suess is great too, i loved The Sleep Book
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I had a similar experience with parts of Watership Down as a kid. Still listening to the score or seeing it kinda has the same effect still. But I love it. Have read the book probably 15 times.
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...about the coolest awful dinosaur movie of all time. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, touches The Last Dinosaur.
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The Cat in the Hat Dies Like That! From the author of Green Zombie Brains and Ham.
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that's another great one
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...the protagonist's name is Maston Thrust for God's sake!
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Or the animated series from the 80s? If it's the '77 film, I will have to add it. Because I am a fan of movies about things that swim, crawl, stomp and eat people.
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I'm on imdb, which rocks like wiki
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that had all of the old trailers for monster movies on it, it was great. They also made on similar with John Goodman in it where these aliens took over a theater or something, can't remember what it was called.
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Meet The Applegates. It's really funny and has Ed Begly Jr in it, it's on showtime a lot
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I mean, I used to like it when I was a kid, but having seen it somewhat recently, whoa, did it not hold up.
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the cover has those two people holding it
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Something about him as a theatre owner and the Cuban Missle Crisis. But it was a comedy. Can't remember anythign else about it though.
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my parents wanted to take me and my brother to a nice wholesome family film with no violence or nudity. So they took us to see "Baby: The Lost Legend," starring Sean Young and William Katt (Greatest American Hero). The movie was all ABOUT dinosaur hunters and featured about 45 minutes of tribal nudity. Maybe that's why my parents gave up on taking us to the show.
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after Explorers and Emerald Forest (my friend's parents had the VCR and we watched whatever they had.) All I remember about Baby now is that image Kloipy mentioned and something about them going up a river in a small boat looking for it. I think they show a dino carcass in the beginning of that movie, too.
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I think I might be getting two seperate movies mixed up though because I think Matinee is where they make a giant ant movie called Mant or something
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this TB really did honestly come back to life. Good going, you guys back East (includes Ohio cuz it's in the EST) and Jarv across the pond.
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No problem, that's what they pay me for.
Oh wait -
in our walk in closet. I'll have to dig that out. Only thing I don't like is the way the aliens look, the ship is awesome. I remember thinking the girl alien was hot as a kid. But then again I was a weird kid
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The Church of Chang encourages tribal nudity. That's where the similarities end with Baby.
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legs coming out of the top of the theater or something?
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only female tribal nudity though, none of that weird penis cone thing for men
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yes, we condone and encourage tribal nudity, but only by hot chicks. Not fat chicks or old chicks, and none of that bone-in-the-nose or rings-around-the-neck stuff, or we'll feed you to a dinosaur. Jarv can put that in his tome
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The MILF tribe.
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just none of that Lip-bowl shit
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My mom has always been into Stephen King/Robin Cook/Dean Koontz books. So, when Silence of the Lambs came out she wasn't goign to miss it in the theater. Oddly, that meant taking me with her to see it. Try sitting in a dark theater next to your mom when some insane inmate yells "I can smell your cunt from here" at Jodie Foster? Even as a kid - yes.
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that's not attractive in any religion. You pull any stunts like that, we'll club you like a baby seal and THEN feed you to a carnotaur
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But that's because we physically can't move her. In fact, it's the only "object" that the holy trinity have no effect on. When they created existence, they found The Bates just...there. It is believed that she devoured the prior universe and then imploded upon herself, thus releasing our 'present' universe.
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Species
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"it puts the lotion in the basket, or it gets the hose?" That must have been a great mother-son bonding afternoon at the movies!
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I can smell her cunt from here, and it smells like lilacs. I would serve that, even if she doesn't ride the Meat Train
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a creature of unfathomable darkness. We just leave her alone and pray that she doesn't unleash her wrath and grease upon us
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is when the dude whips his jizz on her. Oh and Jodie has got to be playing for the other team
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on the other hand, wrap an enlongated earlobe around your lil' Gummer and it can feel quite nice.
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it's so obvious. Like Jabba. He's a highly-evolved graboid that has eyes, and thus no longer requires vestigial spikes on the skin to propel him through the alluvium. Bates has spikes, but they are all concentrated on her pubic flab
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She signed a long term contract right from the beginning.
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In fact, it's actually hindered me from liking the movie much. I recognize what it does well, but I just don't have much interest in watching it.
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but if they're attractive, sometimes I like the other team more, but not for myself. I would employ the charm of Val and Earl, and the manly fortitude of Burt to convert her back to the MeatTrain
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in Nell and again in the Brave One
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just called me through my paper-puncher and said that Jodie Foster is an intergalactic queen from the Xanduvian dimension
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She'd let you play with her Chicka-bea
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was that Liam Neeson didn't have intercourse with Nell as she writhed and moaned about "Tees in de waind," that and there weren't any swordfighting skeletons
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is I was going to see a movie when it came out and someone had stuck red jub-jubs on the poster at the theater where her nipples would be
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in de waaaaind
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like the gelatinous blubber of a giant blue whale. I wonder if one of those public spikes breaks off whether it comes alive ala Cloverfucker.
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fighting Skeletons
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and eaten them. Because jujubees rock. Not as much as swedish fish, but close
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I gotta split for some grub for a while
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whenever one of those Batespikes breaks off, it independently and autonomously stalks the neighborhood killing children and small animals
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Abom, I'm still laughing about the chicka-bee tatahs
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Yeah, chickapee ta tas are the best
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going out into the rain
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called "Nell vs. The Zombies." It'll rule
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and eats it. Then spits it out onto the dispatched zombie and says, "Oh yeah, I forgot- I don't eat meat."
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She'll team up with Burt Gummer and use heavy artillery to dispatch the undead: "Gusta kill dem bwaineatens"
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It's beautiful, like a tay in da win. After she kills some zombies with Burt, he will kiss her snicker-doodle with his moustache and she will be converted back to the meat train.
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I wonder if a rain wampa attacked him
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if you guys are listen to film scores at all, this guy has a ton of great ones up on YouTube. Even if film scores aren't your thing, you gotta believe he's a decent guy just from his background image alone: http://tinyurl.com/2wd59a
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she sets up a trap a la Predator using a log that knocks so zombies off a cliff. She cocks her shotgun, looks directly into the camera and says
"Tay in da win, bitch -
If something did, hopefully it'll spit him out liek that thing in the Dagobah swamp.
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thanks for the link, I like a lot of scores, so tonight I'll have to check that out
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there were some water-jawas but I 'wootineed' them and they ran away
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Feb 26, 2008 2:46:59 PM CST
I will have to evade the rain wampas on my way to class
by just pillow talk
I have no fear though since I've been trained in the ways of the pencil jihad in the Dagobah system.
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BURT: You want to use WHAT to kill the zombies?
NELL: Tay. Tay-tay. Im da wiiiind (sways arms retardedly).
BURT: (frustrated) I'm afraid I'm not GETTING you. What kind of SHELL is THAT?
NELL: Vee-tay. Zombums go boom-boom.
BURT: Nell, I love you.
NELL: Kissum mah chickapee -
on another occasion, I accosted an ewok and pulled an ah-yee-ah on its furry little ass
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pencil jihad in the book.
Later--I'm soon to head off into the vast Nordic wasteland of Hoth. After snowblowing the drive and putting the kids to bed it will be time for Evil Dead -
and I was like "Glub-glub motherfucker"
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adios, vagina face? then punch him? That would be sweet
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be back tomorrow AM
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I was known as the professor.Off to class now boys. A disturbance in the force is telling to me to print out multiple copies of "the document" and distribute to my class. I'm going to tell my shitheel of a professor that tis the teachings of the Church of Chang that the children must learn. A sharpened pencil says I get my way.
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Enjoy the Dead my friend
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we will convert the non-believers!
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not unlike the ways parted at the end of Empire. Fitting this TB "sequel" should end similarly ....until tomorrow.
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or is the weather in your neck of the woods shitty?
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thanks for keeping this one alive with us my friend.
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it's raining like a bitch out here
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huh? Why? I'm cryin' here. Kick a man while he's down
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these aliens had come down and were working with us in an underground bunker that was sealed off from the rest of the world. They were supposedly working to help us cure hate and bring about fixing the world. So after a year was up I was allowed to go out and there were all these people getting into accidents and it turned out the aliens were just using that time to soak up all this knowledge about us to use it against us. So I had to go try and stop them.
The aliens looked really weird. They were this dark purple color but you could see inside their skin. their heads had this kind of boomerang shape with large eyes and a really small mouth, and a long neck that connected to this turtle-like shell with 4 long arms, and they kind of moved like the aliens in WOTW. Just thought I'd let you guys no for no apperant reason -
As most people know I don't support the war but I do support the people who have to be in it as I have many family members who are over there right now. So just thank you for doing something that I know I wouldn't be able to.
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I'd love to see a 1/4 scale statue of Warwick, it would be invisible
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it's been grey and cold for days, but I used to live in DC and know how shitty "real" winters can be. Esp as you head north to NYC and Boston (been there for winter too).
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I just meant that have to be in Iraq. two of my cousins are in the air force, my brother-in-law was in the army, and a couple of my friends are in the army and marines
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some in Santa Cruz/Aptos area
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Xi, were you at Pendleton? What branch were you (i remember you and Moondoggy2u talking about it in a TB the other week, but my feeble mind has forgotten)
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Just so happy we could bring this back up to #1 again. I'll see you guys all soon
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would like to go back with my fiance since I was onyl there for one day (for work)
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in case of rain wampas
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go fuck yourself you piece of shit.
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that's all you got to say?
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