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Robogeek looks at THE MUMMY
Robogeek vomits out his feelings on THE MUMMY below. Feel free to check out my review in the 'REVIEW' section, or... don't trust me or Robogeek at all and read Moriarty and Father Geek's reviews. So far the AICN crew is a bit split on this one. Here's Robo...
ROBOGEEK TAKES A WHIFF OF "THE MUMMY"
(From the director of "Deep Rising.")
Im-ho-tep...
Im-ho-tep...
Im-ho-tep...
Huh? What? Was I chanting again? Damn, I'll have to call Dr. Hikita.
Anyway, I'm back from taking a sniff of "The Mummy," and it smelled like, well..., cheese.
Which isn't to say that it's as bad as the "Variety" review said it was. But it is certainly nowhere near as good as Moriarty
reported, either. (Are you on crack?)
The Mummy is really kinda cool, but "The Mummy" veers between being mildly frustrating and gleefully ridiculous. (If that
sentence didn't make sense to you, read it again.)
I liked this movie, though early on I wasn't sure I would. It sorta won me over when all was said and done - barely.
It's a moderately entertaining Saturday matinee confection that could've been a great and timeless classic, or at least kicked a lot more ass.
After the ooo- and ahhh-inducing opening shot, there's a relatively brief set-up in the form of a prologue which takes place
in ancient Egypt. (Nevermind that none of these people actually look like Egyptians.) Basically, we get the origin of the
eponymous Mummy in a nutshell of paint-by-numbers narrative exposition. This was the first of many occassions that my
interior dialogue uttered "ho-hum" while I watched the film.
The narrative becomes profoundly clunky and self-conscious in the first act, which shifts to 1920's Egypt, where the rest of
the film takes place. We are introduced to each of the primary characters by way of hit-you-over-the-head exposition that is
uniformly awkward, and swings randomly between boring and charming. I found myself thinking it'd be far less intrusive if the actors
simply wore big signs around their necks containing all this same information in nice big block type. During the first act, I kept going
back and forth trying to decide whether the film was self-aware of how ridiculously it was unfolding, or whether it was just
unintentionally stiff.
And herein lies one of my basic problems with the film: it never finds its groove. It fact, it literally wanders the desert
looking for it. Every once in a while, its search yields a cool moment, a neat scene, an earned laugh, and an almost scare - all
hinting at the movie's true (but unrealized) potential. But more often than not, it just doesn't click. It lacks that magic, that spark,
that certain something that made films like "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad" classics that you can
watch a hundred times and never grow tired of. (I honestly don't think I could sit through this movie a second time.)
This is largely a matter of tone. The tone of the film seems to be attached to a pendulum, which first swings between
taking-itself-(too-)seriously and then tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek... only to then veer into recklessly-broad-and-cheesy-abandon (and back-and-forth again).
I got this feeling that the film was trying to be (at least) two different movies, and not succeeding at being great at either
one. On the one hand, the film shows some aspirations to be a send-up of the old Universal monster movies - and I think if it
had made a concerted and focused effort in that direction, the film could have succeeded gloriously. But instead, there is a part
of the film that Wants To Be Taken Seriously and be a "real" horror adventure, though it never fully rises to the occasion.
Which leads me to another of my basic problems with the film: the characters lack the dimension to be emotionally
resonant. They're cartoony caricatures that I simply couldn't get invested in. At all. We never really get to know them. Actually, the
character we perhaps best get to know is Rachel Weisz' geek-girl Evelyn, a sort of male-fantasy librarian who periodically
evokes some real charm. But too many of the characters are simply cardboard cut-outs - especially the rival American
archaeologists, who are all portrayed as astonishingly stupid. Most confounding is Kevin O'Connor's Benny, who has a wildly erratic
accent that bounces around throughout the film.
You could literally spend days nitpicking this film. Like why, for instance, does Evelyn suddenly stop needing glasses after the
first act? WHY? The film is littered with little logic questions like this that clutter the narrative, and prove incessantly annoying.
But let's face it, the real reason to see this film is the effects work by ILM, much of which - particularly the Mummy itself
- is absolutely fantastic. It's just too bad the film itself doesn't rise to the level its effects do. And by the third act, the film finally
cuts loose a little and has fun, which is a relief and a reward, not to mention fun.
(A private aside here, for a moment, as I go off on a little tangent: for some strange reason, my favorite scenes in the last
two movies I've seen - "The Mummy" and "Go" - have involved cats. Very, very odd.)
I walked out of the film with a very simple question etched in the forefront of my mind - why the hell hasn't contemporary
Hollywood turned out a real action-horror-adventure film that KICKS ASS? The projects exist - like "I Am Legend,"
"Hellboy" (or any del Toro project, for that matter), and as-yet-unadapted material like "The League of Extraordinary
Gentlemen." Projects with real characters who leap off the page, in gripping contexts. There is a huge untapped market for
this films of this genre done right. The audience is hungry for them.
"The Mummy" is merely an appetizer.
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+ Expand All
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You want action done right? How about Ray Park starring in a rem-make of 1974's THE STREETFIGHTER, updated, of course. And for idiots who think I'm talking about John Clod Van Dumb, please grow a brain.
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I liked seeing that in your review you brought up the point I wanted to make. Indiana Jones is what we should be seeing instead of this kinda crap that just pales in comparison. I just cant understand how more fans like myslef arent speaking out and letting Rick McCallum and Lucasfilm know that we dont want to wait 5 years to see our favorite hero return. I saw the news that he said it would be 5 years before Indy 4 well thats just not gonna work. Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Rick McCalum and Harrison Ford need to make this film happen cause if it doesnt all of us are missing out on what could be one of the last great collaborations of our era(Steven,George, and Harrison). I just cant believe that a great property like Indy would be set aside yet other projects like the Mummy continue to try and fail at capturing his thrown. Thanks Harry.
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CG - can be used cover up a lame script, and make a movie somewhat interesting.
CGI - can be used to make an otherwise interesting web site LAME!
It took like 20 tries to get in here! Go straight HTML for the articles, it will reduce the load on the server immensely. You can even get some simple perl scripts to handle the talkback as HTML pages. Any programmer worth his salt could have the site fixed in a matter of days.
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A lot of people have been complaining about this movie being campy and things like that. I say forget about that and except it for what it is. Faye Dunaway is one of the greatest actresses in the past 35 years or so and her marvelous scenery chewing turn as Joan Crawford is a delight to watch. "Mummy Dearest" is by no means a classic, but if you watch it in the right mindset it's really a treat. No more wire hangers!!! I love that line.
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I just came back from seeing The Mummy and I have to agree with Father Geek on this one. I walked into the theater expecting to see a boring kiddy movie and man, I have never been so wrong. The Mummy is a great popcorn film. It is in no way trying to be Indiana Jones; it
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This movie F-U-C-K-I-N-G S-U-C-K-E-D!!!!!!!!!!! I sat in on a tech screen thursday night, and man-o-man. What kind of crack are you guys smoking to have actually enjoyed this? It's just my opinion, but it had BAD special effects, BAD acting, and a BAD story. Not since Wing Commander have I seen a worse movie. It was free, though, so I guess I got what I paid for. Benny looked like Prince! Brendan Fraiser's still acting like he did in George of the Jungle, except this time he has guns, stuble and a pair of pants. Who the hell were those gold guys in the opening? What was that electraglide in blue horse chariot thingy that came zooming down the stair case at the end? How come it was so easy to travel back and forth from Hakunamatata or whatever the digsite was called? How come Benny's hat never came off, even after falling off a moving boat? And since when can a camel win in a race with a horse in a straighaway? I wish someone would give $50 million to make a movie. I'd let the horse win.
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Anyone else notice that in the Star Wars: Ep One music video, when they show the behind the scenes footage of the orchestra performing, they have a screen in the back showing some footage as they score it. In one shot, you can see the infmaous "Crawl" on this screen, and it's a whole hell of a lot longer than the one that's been on the internet and this site. Just an observation...
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I was going to respond to Father geeks comments, make some points about plurality of views, about the post modern malaise that lets us judge too many movies by the lowest of standards (it's fun I ate popcorn that'S enough) but his post seems to have gone. Obviously had second thoughts, I mean, FG you wouldn't want another fiasco like Harry's Godzilla debacle would you now... ...or maybe he got banned for trying to character assassinate another person on this site.
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That huge sucking sound coming from the screen was Universal stealing your hard earned
cash to watch this turd. The problem with this website is when Harry gets invited to the set of a movie, he
drools about how cool the set looks, how great everyone treated him, and how magnificent the
storyboards look. Then, the movie comes out, it sucks elephant ass, and Harry (or Father Geek)
go into spin mode, and try to tell us that "NO, it really IS a great movie! We're just MISSING
the point, we don't get it." Well, I know my movies, and I know what is crap and what is decent. I'm not
overly judgmental about movies, I just want to see something entertaining. And the Mummy ain't it. -
This is a test to see if I was banned for some b.s. reason.
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I don't quite understand why my post was deleted. I don't have the post saved, obviously, but all I said was that BOTH Father Geek and Robogeek should cool their jets a little. Maybe FG, did, in fact, get second thoughts about his post, but my first post contained more than just advice for RG and FG. I stated that now I really wanted to see Mummy so I could decide for myself my feelings. I further stated that the "campy humor" that several have referred to has me very worried. I then went on to say that the site has been having some problems recently - the "Document Contains No Data" messages are gone - but now the site just doesn't respond at all for about a minute and/or 5-6 clicks. So, what in all of these observations was so FRIGGIN offensive?!?!?!? I mean, it's not the end of the world, but who gets to just delete messages at will ( I know you put up a list of who gets to ban people, but this is different). I believe in my case, whoever had this privilege and chose to erase my message, definitely abused this privilege in my case. I didn't call anyone names, I didn't make any slurs, and I wasn't being obnoxious. All I did was try to settle some tempers, offer some brief thoughts on what I think about seeing the Mummy, and try to let Harry know that the site is beginning to mess up in a new way. So, what was the deal???
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OK so Robo didn't like this movie and FAther Geek sna Moriarty loved it and Harry was mixed on the moive....That's what I like about this site, it offers varying opinons on the same movie from a group of people who obviously love movies...you don't see that on many other sites...As for an above posters comments about how whenever Harry vists a set he drools about the movie once it's out...I read Harry's review and sure he said the sets and the FX and the dailies he saw were wonderful but he had mixed feeligns about the movie, I would hardly call that a positive review although it wasn't a negative review either, it was honest opinions and thoughts on this movie...Personally I enjoyed the Hell out of the Mummy when I saw a test version of it. I liked everything about it, but I went in,NOT expecting Karloff's or Cheny's or Lee's mummy...I went in with the idea of watching this movie in the same way I watch Billy The Kid VS Dracula...I watched it to just have a good time...The acting wasn't outstanding(and I was wondering about those glasses too...but that happens in the Indy movies too though, in class Indy's wearing glasses and when on the field he's not...maybe I should become an archolgist so I won't need my glasses...but I digriss) and the story was pretty simple, it had some corny one-liners sure...but the FX and some of the action sequences were cool...What I'm looking for though was a fun way to start off the summer and that's what I think we'll get when the Mummuy opens...just a good time
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The director of THE MUMMY, Stephen Sommers, is the same guy that made DEEP RISING. Is anyone really surprised that it's getting awful reviews? And can anyone tell him and Stephen Hopkins apart? I think they're the same guy.
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I just got back from The Mummy and I thought it was great fun. Neat special effects, Egyptology, lots of good looking men and Brendan Fraser's muscles. What more could a girl want? It was nice to see Bernard Fox again too.
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This movie was reasonably entertaining--but it sure as hell didn't measure up to ANY of the Indy flicks (did one of Harry's reviewers REALLY say that it was what Indy 3 should have been??? Ha!) Why? 1) "Campiness", aka "Will Smith-itis". Even when the actors are in stressful, possibly lethal situations, they are spouting off witty one-liners--which makes a difficult-to-believe story even more perposterous. More and more movies are succumbing to this filthy disease! At least Harrison Ford seemed genuinely scared when hell broke loose. All the yucks gave the overall tone of the film a saturday-morning cartoon feel. And 2), Where was the score? The movie was mostly silent. If they had a score anywhere remotely in the John Williams league, the movie could have had a lot more credibly and been less cheesy. 3) The characters really didn't seem all that scared of the mummy! Furthermore, as soon as they have all seen it, they talk about it as if it is an everyday event--"Darn, we got a walking corpse after us. But surely he has a weakness we can exploit." NOTE TO SCREENWRITERS: You can shovel bushels of cash into having photorealistic CGI, but if the actors respond unrealistically, the audience still won't buy it!!! And as for the CGI: How can it be so good sometimes (the mummies and the end fight scenes--incredible) and yet so bad at other times (the beetles, the water, etc.) Isn't it amazing how well the FX at the end of "Raiders" holds up to this modern shit.... A decent flick, but Velveeta overload...
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