Well folks, seems that first batch of reviews put the fear of Jar Jar into ya. As a result, I have found some of yall's lack of faith disturbing. Are you really so easily persuaded. A few reviews that don't exclaim that "IT'S THE GREATEST FILM EVER MADE!" and you begin weeping about it? Come on folks. Grow a pair. Find your tantric center and be at ease. Cause your reaction to the film could be the same as Sithslayer's here. (For those worried that he may be a plant.... He isn't.) As I finish up my opening crawl, pan down to reveal a bright shiny glowing review...

Well, Harry, it's 12:10 in the freakin' morning. I just came back from a 2 and a half hour ride from Detroit, where I saw "The Phantom Menace" at the Star Southfield 20 screen theatre. I scanned the sneak ticket when I got it a day or two ago and I know you got it because I saw it posted on your website and I freaked! Yeah Harry! I had to turn the damn thing into the representatives at the outside entrance to the auditorium (#10) where they first scanned it with a black light to see the "Lucasfilm" logo on the back, then gave me a wristband to wear. They had about 5 security people standing outside the auditorium watching your every move and not smiling at all. One of them didn't appreciate my joke about how they just got suckered by my fake pass. I swear they held me back and re-checked my pass again with that black light thing and then allowed me to enter. I thought for a minute there that I wasn't going to get in.

Just before the movie started a man came to the front of the auditorium and read from a piece of paper like he was the Town Crier, saying to everyone that he needs everyone's help and to report anyone who was filming or taping the movie. To remember that this is just a working print and that it will be destroyed immediately after the showing. That the sound and coloring still isn't competely done yet. And to please not talk to any of the reporters outside of the theatre aftewards, to which a big laugh was heard.

I'm still trying to catch my breath, even after talking about it the entire time home with the other people I saw the film with. Lemme start out by saying that I read with great anticipation the reviews posted here earlier yesterday morning by the people who saw the film in Toronto. After reading the reviews I was lead to believe that the film sucked. These people were stating things like, "I know I'm going to get some flak for saying this, but...." and that sort of stuff, so I was bracing myself for one bad film.

NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!!!!

George Lucas is pure genius, as for me, this film is the greatest film that I've seen yet. I can't bring myself to cut it down in any fashion. I'm still in awe at the absolute beauty in which everything was looking, from the underwater sequences where we meet the Gungans to the outer shot of the planet of Coruscant. I'm pissed at the people who said they found Jar Jar to be annoying, because he wasn't. I'm pissed at the people who said that they looked at their watches because they thought the film dragged. I'm wondering if they saw the same film I saw. It didn't drag at all. I'm pissed at the people who stated that Jake Lloyd was monotone and couldn't act, because he could act. He was fantastic! He's a boy! Remember that. In fact, this film was filled from front to back with more stuff than all three of the first Star Wars films combined!

I'm really trying to hold back from giving anything away because there are things in this film that I didn't expect and I just sat there with my jaw to the ground and at a couple of points had my hairs stand on end on my arm. Lucas did everything in his power to give something to everybody, to make everyone happy. He put just enough references to the other movies to make me bust out laughing, while keeping everything fresh looking. I already heard a few comments that I'm SURE will be echoed by the typical semi-Star Wars fan, like, "How come this looked so futuristic, yet Star Wars (Episode IV) doesn't have nearly enough technology?" and "I was expecting Darth Maul to be a bit more evil". Well I've got something to say to those people. Screw off. We don't need ya. Hey, if you can suspend your belief for a moment that a ten year old boy can pilot a pod racer and fly against aliens, then I think you can suspend your belief a bit more to cover whatever else ills ya.

Jar Jar Binks: Sure he's clumsy. Sure he's dopey. But he provides great comedy in all the right places.

Darth Maul: Yes I would have liked to see more of him, but then again the parts that you do see are so memorable that you forget about the fact you don't see him too often. Quality, not quantity.

Qui-Gon Jinn: I found out that it's pronounced "Kwai" Gon Jinn, as in "Bridge Over the River...", not "Key" Gon Jinn. Liam Neeson is brilliant. You actually BELIEVE that he is the master trainer of Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ewan McGregor does a masterful job as the young Jedi. You can even tell that he imitates the voice of Alec Guiness in spots.

Queen Amidala: I didn't like Natalie Portman in the trailers. But in the film, she's right up there with Princess Leia.

Anakin Skywalker: Jake Lloyd did a wonderful job. Every scene he was in was great.

Bottom line is, if you want to be entertained like you never have before, then see this film. I'm expecting to see this film at least 25 more times in the theatre. The freaking pod race alone is worth the price of admission. I mean, it's just absolutely amazing. The camera angles, the sound, the visuals, damn. I wished that I had the balls enough to tell you people more about this without giving it away!

Thanks for being there Harry,

Your friend,

Sithslayer

And here's what JawsGeek from ATLANTA thought....

I don't know if you want another TPM review but here ya go. I saw it last night in Atlanta at the Phipps Plaza. HOLY COW! What a fantastic, fun film. The story was so well crafted... the action moves very fast at the beginning. Then it slows down a lot after they leave Naboo. But the last 30 minutes is pure Star Wars.

I can't wait to see this film again. Liam is great. Natalie Portman impressed the heck out of me. Ewan doesn't spend the film frowning... he smiles two or three times:) Jake Lloyd did a terrific job as Anakin.

Now, I was afraid that Jar Jar would ruin the film for me. But nothing could be further from the truth. He is such a good character. He adds depth to the plot. In fact, this is the first time I've seen a special effect that could act. You get genuine emotions from him. The special effects are superb... and they don't overwhelm the plot. God Harry, this was so great. Life is cruel. I don't get to see it again for another two weeks!

Jawsgeek