Cool News
Oh My God! It's James Bond!!!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint here. Well, these pics from the filming of QUANTUM OF SOLACE sure look like Daniel Craig, right? Not all that exciting, but what the hell... it's James Bond... um... catching a cab. I guess the Aston Martin is in the shop... Thanks to the readers who sent in the pics.
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first!
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On a site where people cream to see that handsome rascal Kirk return to the big screen, "Oh My God! It's James Bond!!!" was the gayest headline I've ever seen.
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...is a "Quantum of Solace" anyway?
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would the cab have stopped? C'mon...help a brotha out!
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...WORSE!
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Q. fetch me the Aston Martin
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and they dont move....if i print them, can i turn them into a flash book? cheaper than going to see this movie...
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I just saw ZODIAC!!! IT RULES!!!
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Must be a bad round at poker -- lost his car, and the Bond girl. Both of them. Sucker. Should've taken his ego out of the equation.
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Dude, he should just steal a car.
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I bet someone runs into it!
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ZOMG!!!
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"A quantum of solace" is just a "a little peace" using $5 words.
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The film is really called "The unit quantity of acetylcholine released at a neuromuscular junction by a single synaptic vesicle, contributing a discrete small voltage to the measured end-plate potential to provide comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness"
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Sounds familiar already... bet I still live out my life without ever using it in a sentence tho
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As seen in photo one!
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So far we've seen a giant eye on a stage and now....this scene from a market. Richard Kiel would be turning in his rather large grave. And, um, Desmond Llewellyn (misspelt). I liked Casino Royale though, so maybe I should shut up and wait for it to come out in dollar DVD land.
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jus' sayin.
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why is it that the only equivalent to James Bond is Bourne who fights his own fucking government? it doesn't seem right that Bond movies are so big. England couldnt tie its own shoelaces without us. Movies should reflect this. We need a real American hero in movies. We need to someone kicking seven fucking shades out of the scumbag terrorists for the stars and stripes. fuck this tea drinking douche, he's had his day. lets celebrate the greatest fucking country in the world with a real hero. America is full of real heroes. lets see one of them take Bond's place!
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James Bond is slightly bureaucratic and camp. Daniel Craig looks like a workman in a business suit.
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"'Quantum of Solace' is a really gay title for a movie and I'd feel embarrassed saying it out loud to the ticket girl so I'm just going to say, 'two for Bond'". See?
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I could see your lips move.
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Jack Bauer (played by Canadian Keifer Sutherland). Notice that they both have the same initials.
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"England couldn't tie it's shoelaces without us" ??!! Ha! You poor sad insufferable imbecile. I bet you're Republican.
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Are you English? If so, sorry to hear that. Perhaps you should book a holiday over here and spend some time in a real country? Anyway, sorry you dont agree with me but youll probably realise im right while your sitting there drinking your tea later and watching one of my oountry's movies. Tally ho!
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Oh please shut the fuck up. Its a bit sad that you have to troll my comments on these talkbacks. Why dont you go outside and get yourself a life? As i said before, go away and come back when you have a valid opinion. Or a girlfriend. Actually, dont your hold breath for that last one so try for the valid opinion instead.see you in ten years gamerra_presley!
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B-A-N-A-N-A...
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One of your oountry's movies eh? I do enjoy them. I just came back from a trip to Florida, as it happens. I had to come home before one of the locals eat me.
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Immortalized in a James Bond movie.
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Feb 10, 2008 8:12:58 AM CST
HAHA SOMEONE STOLE THE CORNER LIGHTS OFF THE CAR IN BACK
by bringingsexyback
Probably sell it back to him at the local junkyard. Side note: Why are there so many brown people in Austria?
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It must be a sign.
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All I see is some Arian looking guy in an expensvie suit. Bad tie...
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that used to be on ABC and the WB? Yeah, I've got kids.
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And this time he's got a fanny pack!!! ZOMG
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Mr. T trying to say Quantum of Solace- hehe.
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GUSHIE!!!!
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slow news day I guess
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Strabo; The term "quantum of solace" means "a small measure of comfort amid sorrow or disappointment".
Am I the only person that thinks that these pictures might not be from the actual set? Looks more like Daniel Craig was catching a cab in real life, rather than it actually being a take for the film! -
It looks boring
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But the plot is so absurd that I tend to laugh at anyone who thought it better than the brosnan flicks. The other problem is that its very difficult to think of him as Bond, because, up until the end, he never actually acts like Bond. It just seems like a british version of Jason Bourne, oddly enough.
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And it looks very similar, great job!
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LAWD!
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are too long. Supposed to show 1/4 inch of cuff, what are you THINKING!?!? Damn un-suave, you bloody gingah!
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1) Anyone else think that Craig bears a passing resemblance to Steve McQueen?
2) MOONDOGGY, I suppose Brosnan IS a better Bond and his flicks ARE better Bond flicks, if you grew up with the Roger Moore Bond. Of, course Roger Moore is to Legit Bond what Adam West is to Legit Batman. Those Brosnan Bond flicks are crap, save the first one. Casino Royal, as Jemaine Clement would say, got it goin' on! -
I dig the suit...
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I admit, the last couple of Bond flicks werent too good, but the first two were just like the Connery Bond films of old, and the fact remains that Brosnan has more screen presence, charisma, and is just as popular a bond as Connery while Craig seems set to be another Dalton. In other words, a select group of rabid fans will swear by the authenticity, but everybody else just thinks he's boring.
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Bolivians rock.
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Nope, doesn't quite fit.
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Holy sweet fucking Jesus! This is big news.
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I could knock his teeth out.
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You guys acted like it was another Goldfinger on here and when I finally saw it, I was like "huh?". Cool black & white opening segment, then more of the same. Silly unbelievable action sequences and a lot of chatting. I thought Goldeneye was 100 times better and it was made by the same director. I do like Daniel Craig but hope they get darker and rougher with Bond and skip the silly antics this time. Early Connery had some cool action sequences, but at leastthey were somewhat believable. This series has ventured too far into "camp" thanks to the Moore years.
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Heat magazine?
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They look real classy, but as mentioned above what the hell's going on with those sleeves?
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Make a movie about this American "hero."
http://tinyurl.com/yrco83
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has a fucking fanny pack!
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wow, that market has it all in one place!
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Love the Craig but yeah he's goin mighty thin on the dome. But Roger Clemens special milkshakes will do that to a person. Seriously though I am so fucking excited for this film. (Change the Finnish H.I.M. song sounding title) Craig is the best Bond since Sean i hope there is no misstep with his sophmore outing. although you can kinda count Layer Cake as his first Bond film.
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Don't look too broken up abuot Vespre after all. What gives!?
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He's got one of those gun ejecting mechanisms in there like in Taxi Driver.
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Haha, I'm really surprised none of you geeks seems to have puzzled this one out yet:
The calm before The Storm -
I hope you're kidding, you stupid american prick
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More like a side-bar story in Entertainment Weekly.
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people really liked Brosnan as Bond? he was the worst! He was like all the bad parts of Dalton magnified, with no charisma.
a)I wanted to slap that permanent smirk off his face every time I saw him
b) he looks like a dad (I dont know why I think this)
c) he had the worst delivery of the most smart ass lines ever
d) he seemed to give off "I am douchbage" rather than "wherever I am is where the action happens"
at least craig has that "I dont f around" aura.
and hey...Goldeneye? that move made me STOP seeing Bond movies in the theatres it was so bad. It was just another 90s action flick, without the Bond-world feel. The game was the best part. -
Feb 10, 2008 12:25:06 PM CST
THERES ALL SORTS OF FRUIT GOIN DOWN IN THAT PIC!!
by swollen_balls_low_hung_too
Bond walks right past them cool as a cucumber.
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its like a creesy look-a-like...but in white...again
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for the last half-centure of movies? There have been plenty of "American" movie/TV heroes. Just off the top of my head from the last few years: Spider-Man, Batman, Jack Bauer, Fantastic Four, Ghost Rider, John McClane...and on and on. This Summer you'll have Batman again, Iron Man and the Hulk.
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Hey, man, fair enough. Lotsa folk DO like Brosnan, and that's cool. And I will admit he does utter more snappy one-liners that Craig, but I just disagree with you on the charisma. However, while the first Brosnan is good (and I'll grant you the second one too, as I can't remember a thing about it, except that I didn't like it), it is NOTHING like the Connery Bond of old. And, c'mon, man, whichever one it is with the freakin' guy with the Diamonds in his face is an awful movie. Awful. Para Sailing over a tsunami? Are you kidding? Just franchise-killingly awful.
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...and it also struck me that Craig is a tad McQueenish. His profile, the smile...anyway, yay on the movie...first bond flick i've picked up sine...well, whatever came after Goldeneye...hated Brosnan. Hope Craig sticks around awhile. It was time for the franchise to be less Austin Powers and more Bourne.
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..'Quantum of Solace' and that's why he is smiling and has a slight sore feeling in his nether regions.
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....But there is something about Daniel Craig that makes me feel all tingly in my naughty bits
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Those pics were cool good job to whoever shot them
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He played Bond like a smarmy old alcoholic who's an embarrassment to his adult children. It's difficult to quantify exactly how wrong Brosnan was for the role. It was kind of like waking up one day to discover your middle-aged lush of a father was the new James Bond. There he was on screen grumbling his lines and making young women feel uncomfortable. Thinking Brosnan can play charismatic is an error on the scale of thinking Halle Berry would look convincing in an action role.
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They should switch the titles... I'd rather see James Bond take on the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, they could even reuse the icy sets from Die Another Day!
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...are just that. Like the new 5-minute anti-Bush conservatives. If you didn't spend most of the last decade writing down 'Brosnan IS crap', don't come crawling out of the woodwork now to say 'Brosnan WAS crap' Have some fucking integrity, you gutless dweebs.
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I'm just a retard who has to start a sentence that way.
I am, and I'll bet you couldn't get laid if you WERE gay. -
but there appear to be an inordinate supply of bananas in Austria.
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especially after the Dalton movies which looked like they were made for the USA Network. I was even skeptical about Craig and thought him too ugly for the role (Christian Bale woulda done a great job) but he sold me with CR. Don't make my naughty bits tingle but still very good.
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I'M SORRY WHAT DID YOU POST?
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I'm very consistent on this most important of issues.
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He tipped the driver 007 in bills.
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Oh, man. For what it's worth, I didn't like the Brosnan Bond flicks when they came out. Sorry I didn't bitch loud enough for you to hear. But hey, you like him. Faboo. I don't. Faboo. It's a good thing we don't have the same dvd collection ain't it? As to why my dislike for the guys Bond flicks makes me an asshole is beyond me. But it strikes me that you calling those who don't like his stuff assholes, makes you, well, an asshole.
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There's a reason Alan Partidge idolizes him. Come on; Bond is a sad laughable figure; always has been. Trying to dress him up as anything but a sad old drunk is just lipstick on a pig. He's Hugh Hefner with a gun. End of story.
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JB in a Nissan = flames on Optimus
BINO - Bond In Name Only -
None of the Brosnan were all that great ("The World Is Not Enough" was downright awful) but he is the quintessential Bond in my mind. Just right look, sound and demeanor... I like Craig and all but CASINO ROYALE is so far removed from what a Bond movie should be, whether or not it's a good movie is almost a non-issue. I mean, can you imagine Pussy Galore in CASINO ROYALE?
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this is news?
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I really wanted to see him as Bond, and when he finally became Bond they were in some pretty crappy films. Although I did like Tomorrow Never Dies (was that the one with Michelle Yeoh?) - the last Bond with Brosnan was so bad, though (it out-Triple X'd the first Triple X with Vin Diesel - quite an accomplishment).
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Sorry, couldn't help it--been watching too many Gamera & Godzilla MST3Ks lately, I guess! Apart from the dreadful title, this should be one to look forward to.
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Was going to make a crap bond. He is going to take the cool cars out of the movie. What next, is the bad guy going to be a giant spider? Marc Forster your movies blow, why don't you just go ruin more Arabic children's lives.
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..take a suggestion from your ol' pal morGy and check out Casino Royale, it's worth it...excellent flick and Daniel Craig really delivers as Bond. I thought it looked boring too but morGette#1 talked me into watching this past Christmas holiday and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Wonderful surprise.
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Look out James!
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...but Daniel Craig will never be Bond, to me. Blonde hair, face like a thug. It should have been Clive Owen. Tragic.
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More than The Dark Knight, even. I can't wait.
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i'm VERY excited for this film to release... second this year only to The Dark Knight. oh, and to the naysayers: Daniel Craig's Bond would beat the shit out of any other iteration to date.
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something *is* a little off when you're riding in a car that's worth less than the suit you're wearing. hopefully Craig was actually catching a cab, and this has nothing to do with the film itself.
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Feb 10, 2008 9:17:49 PM CST
"George Lazenby?!? What the hell are you doing driving a cab?!?
by mrmysteryguest
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Feb 10, 2008 9:21:51 PM CST
Suddenly, Bond is attacked by a squash-wielding foreign spy!
by mrmysteryguest
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And Bond has to save it.
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none of them looking at Craig.
That's OH-OH for 007. -
THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE
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Look at all those taxis!
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You are all fucking nuts for giving the Rising Star of the Year BAFTA to Shia LeBeouf. As if the world doesn't have enough problems, you go ahead and do that.
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Or it might as well be since they aren't making Bond movies anymore.
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Whut up with dat? Still rocks hard.
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So sexy. Don't know what's up with the cab though. Hey, maybe next time Bond can go green and get a bus pass.
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the reason why his shadow was cast over the road like that is because, after having his aston break down on him, bond was forced to walk to the nearest fruit stand to use their phone. after he called the tow tuck driver to pick up his car, he hailed a cab to go meet him. it all makes perfect sense now.
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alternative title
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This is one of the lamest AICN backwash things yet.
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Take me to the orchestra stage with the big eye!
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That dude in the first picture has a MISFITS Bandanna. Just thought I'd mention it.
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I hope Octopussy got him that present.
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But doesn't anyone else have the slightest desire to see what kind of "Real American Hero" action movie a soft mind like SpoilerMan's might come up with? I imagine a cross between Captain America, Jack Bauer, George Bush, and SpoilerMan's ass-raping, emotionally distant father. A part of me actually wants to see that...
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.. probably something like this: http://tinyurl.com/2qyeck
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That's about right. A bit more leather, and more explicit homo-erotic poses, but pretty accurate. Damn, I'd love to read that.
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Sorry... I miss that whole thing.
Some of you weren't even here for that, were you? -
BINO BINO BINO BINO BINO:-P
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cue evil laughter as Bond is surrounded by three women.
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You've got to reckon with Glen Danzig, Mr. Bond.
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Those guys have it so rough.
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Our own American super secret agent? How could you forget James Colbern (sp?) in "Our Man Flint"? Man I'm getting old.
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we don't care. BAFTA'S are a joke.
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This is, of course, pending the awesomeness of QUANTUM OF SOLACE which, if it's as good as CASINO ROYALE, could kick Craig up to Best Bond Ever status.
As for Brosnan, he started off great, but ultimately turned into a modernized Roger Moore, complete with tugging at his collar.
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i knew that would catch on
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OMG....the guy gets in a cab and it's somehow NEWS??? If he sneezes or takes a shit, can we get a photo of his shoes under the door on the lame website? Are you so desperate to compete with TMZ that you are posting pathetic "got in a cab" photos? &^%$ you!
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that was his original pre ban screen-name. Sort of like yours was Glovedone. Just to make you aware that nothing you post between bannings will ever catch on. And Spyguy- I like Dalton (sad purist that I am) and would put the order: Connery (can't argue with it)> Craig (So far)> Dalton (good bond in shit films)> Lazenby> Brosnan (Less said about his outings other than Goldeneye the better)> Moore.
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and Clive Owen DOESN'T have a face like a thug? Come on now.
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but I pointed out the Misfits bandana before Dwarves did. So HA!
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whatever. I'm the cleverest and you know it. OWNED. oh and everyones know that Dalton sucked!
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Will you just stay fucking banned you annoying little troll.
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And is that Matt Helm movie still in development?
We need some tough spies.
"Whatever I am, I am for you."
Ugh. -
you and your quirky, passive aggressive comments are so predictable. You can't help yourself you silly twit...
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You obviously don't know what passive aggressive means. You are a wretched, useless, irritating little shitbag with the charm of a car crash. NOTE TO SELF: DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL DON'T FEED THE TROLL
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thanks for proving my point, sunshine!
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Quantum of Solace sounds like an Enigma album
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and stick both hands in a blender. Have your mommy turn it on for you.
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Sounds painful.
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that you are a complete shitbag , and the last time you saw your father was when you were flying out the end of his cock.
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Look Lost Jarv, I'm sorry that your mom didn't hug you enough. I'm sorry that the priest touched you when you were 6. Let it go, brother. You obviously are seeking attention and have some pent up hostility.
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is the fact that this little bitch will post 1 comment on a topic to seem like he's just a regular guy then go back to his usual bullshit. Didn't you see glovedone, there are 2 obit pages on here today! Are you going to go in and make fun of their deaths as well?
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I'll talk to you all tomorrow
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There's 2!!!!??? Nice, I only saw one. I liked the JAWS guy. I left a nice little comment for ya. I'll have to see the other one. Thanks, Pickles!
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Was that pathetic shit the best you can do? Now that we've got past that utter shite do you want to call me a basement dwelling obese virgin or any of the other hackneyed tripe you usually produce? seeing as you can't produce anything original, and you committed massive self-OWNAGE with your stupid passive aggressive comment last time you tried. You just stick to recycled shit a retarded 13 year old would be ashamed of.It is mildly amusing that you are saying someone else is attention seeking, though.
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I will miss your cute little remarks! Have a great day, pumpkin!
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refer to your past note to yourself. I love getting a rise out of you Lost Jarv. yummy.
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yup, at least you are honest about the fact you are a troll. I'm outta here- have fun people. Eat a dick Glovedone.
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Thanks for lunch!ass
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I missed kloipy and Jarv this morning. With GlovedOne.
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Jarv got OWNED, Sloppy said one thing and ran, and Pillow...well Pillow is just an idiot.
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Good thing he's not supposed to be a Secret Agent.
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The degree to which he looks like Steve McQueen is almost absurd.
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some trolls come in here and at least say something that can be seen as a valid opinion. Then you get someone like glovedone/braff who has nothing of merit to say about anything or anyone. Just reverts to making stupid jokes about someone's username, telling them they got "owned", makes fun of the dead, sucks Braff's cock, ect. It's people like glovedone who seriously taint this site. If you have nothing to say other than the same sentence over and over again, just do us all a favor and find another site to troll. No one likes you here, you keep getting banned, you are a waste of space, so that if nothing else should tell you something. We've tried ignoring you but you just keep coming around looking for us to annoy when we are in the middle of our own conversation and then we see your stupid comments. Do us all a favor and stop following us around. I can just see your comment now "Oh Sloppy, you guys sure love the taint. Owned!" you are a worthless piece of shit
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We are here to discuss the seriousness of movies and other pop-culture stuff that will have a profound effect on the world as we know it. If you can't contribute to the importance of a new poster, who got cast in what role,or the new Mortal Korbat movie, you have no buisness here. People like glovedone just ruin it for everyone.
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too bad Armani discontinued its fanny pack line, huh? he'd blend right in then!
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what purpose do you have coming in here. You obviously don't give a shit about movies or really anything other than zackkk braff and trying to make yourself feel cool. So why do you come in here at all?
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movies. What about Zack Braff as the new 007!?
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From what I see, all you do is act like a kid trying to get the teacher's attention (Harry)by raising his hand real high and saying "ohhhh, ohhhhh, pick me...ohhhh, i know it...ohhhh" The best was when MiraJeff spanked you in front of the class. At least one of the mods sees you for the impish suck ass you are.
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because you came in to discuss movies. Drop the fucking bullshit.
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Why does glovedone keep calling you Sloppy? Why doesn't he go siphon a gallon of jizz from a man or something?
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and I talked to him afterwards anyhow and we are cool now. I was sticking up for my friends, something you would never do because you think it's cool to make fun of dead people. I could give 2 shits if Harry ever talks to me. He can answer whoever the fuck he feels like. I barely ever talk to the mods except for Mori or Vern when he's on, other than that I have friends on here that I talk to. You cannot say the same because all you do is try to get in the middle of people and act like an idiot
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because "Sloppy" is his idea of a witty retort
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i had opinion the was different from you and your little crew. Boo-hoo.
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in 2 seperate obit pages, and people don't like that shit
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That MiraJeff shit was funny as hell.
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you miss a lot (I don't log in at home, typically--this is what work is for!). So mirajeff is now okay? Should I apologize again for what I said about his mother? :) I'll tell her myself if you like. She's over at Warwick's house. He just called.
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The horse fucking thread sets his heart a flutter...
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he actually said "Long Live Lost Jarv" so I think we are cool now
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I think it takes more than a difference of opinion to get banned (even if your opinion is clearly in the minority). I've had maybe four names at AiCN in the last ten years or so. Two I changed because I plain old forgot my password. The other time, I got banned because I made what I realized later was an uncalled-for comment about Harry's appearance in a photo. It was right to ban me, I realized later. You don't go visit a guy's house to piss on him. Anyway, my point is AiCN is pretty good about letting people voice their differences, and usually it's this dialog that generates the mostest bestest TBs.
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I don't think he made a formal apology to Jarv but that's what he said to me in an email, so I think we can take that as one. However, glovedone is still a drippy little whore
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Denise Richards was over yesterday picking up some trash and scraping ice off my car. I'll send her over tonight. If you see a handprint on her asscheek, I'm sorry but she had it coming for not listening.
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9 degrees is the high today
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can be useful though. It's always nice to have someone to slap around and donkeypunch.
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Dr. Jones needs to gather my garbage cans up for me since they blew halfway across town from the 300 mile an hour wind. Plus she's got to disarm my nuke...with her lips.
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so we can talk about beating women on here. that's classy as hell. You guys are allllriiight!
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Old buildings suck ass.
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and it's called "Donkey Punch" and it revolves around the title. Never thought I'd see that movie
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I'm Cleveland. Last time I checked, it was 10 degrees, with the "feels like" temp at -5. Not fun. Kids have off school 'n shit. Which is fine, but when I was a kid, you had to be under alien attack before they cancelled class. Now, if it gets in the teens or below, they cancel everything. Way to raise a bunch of sissies.
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if it's cold you should get out of your moms basement, chump!
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we advocate violence on dirty little whores. There IS a difference. Dirty whores get donkey punched. Women are for cooking.
Pillow--it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Ho ho ho, she'll pooch those purty lips! -
and I agree, they close schools at even the hint of rain around here anymore. Back when I was in school it had to be at least 6 inches before we would even get a delay
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That's not even real 'frigid' temps. I don't remember ever having school canceled on account of temperature.
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maybe you and Snowcone can meet halfway and spoon to keep warm...
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all the time. How does it feel bitch?
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because nothing could stop him anyway. Once his momentum starts in any given direction, only his will decides when he stops. No alien attacks or wars or dinosaurs or even a crying baby abandoned in the street can stop him from reaching his chosen destination. And if a traffic cop intervenes, hooboy look out, because somebody's gonna be eating some No. 2 lead with their traffic whistle.
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When you are all-knowing, all-powerful, there really isn't a point.
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in 18 feet of snow, with bloody stumps because his family couldn't afford feet
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I don't need to. Your mom is keeping me warm. We're spooning, and forking and knifing, too! It's great! And when I'm done I'm sending her to pillowtalks house for her daily 'lesson.'
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hope you went a bit easier on her today Abom. We have a very 'strenuous' lesson to go through today. Now where did I put those whips?
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Good ole Mom!
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What I meant to say was, IF he wanted to attend classes. Which he never did. Because he was born omnipotent midichlorians.
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everyone living in fear of being stabbed in the mouth. And to fulfill his life long dream, he would star in all the school plays. He has quite the catchy voice.
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I can't make fun of a mediocre actors suspisious death, but I can make idle threats and talk about someone's mom? I think I got it now...
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the school orchestra with a No. 2 pencil. He stood behind a podium, where he'd stashed a package of those AFC / NFC pro football logo pencils. By the "Spring" movement of Vivaldi's Four Seasons, violin first chair had an L.A. Rams pencil jutting through her teeth.
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You know, the one with the guy over the ball. He was old school.
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at least glovedone has a sense of humor, with the 'good ole mom' reply. But guess not. Nobody's making threats here, we're just talking shit. This is a moviegeek forum, that's what it's for. And praising Warwick and 2true, and today, Roy Scheider.
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and he sat out every race
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doesn't give you the right to shit all over him in a obit
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on a lifeless, barren planet. Now that planet is a lush green jungle that feeds billions and is home to exotic birds and plants and fauna hitherto unseen.
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hilarious man
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All I know is, 2true's midichorians are good for fertile soil, but on the wrong things they are like bleach. On another planet they ran some tests, and decided to bottle and market his load as a sports quencher drink.
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who has survived a Tony Jaa FLK, and a bear attack at the same time. He ripped off the flaming legs and beat the bear to death with them
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nature video about his time in a bear wilderness preserve. Found footage gives insight to the tragic end of that quest: nine bears were mauled and dismembered, and partially consumed, when 2true ran out of trail mix.
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are retarded.
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We now know of that incident as the reign of Vlad the Impaler
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Metamusil might help
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it was the inspiration for the ending of Magnolia
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But in another Tom Cruise movie, Eyes Wide Shut, 2true was the stand-in-double for all males having sex. And speaking of Jason Robards, the nuclear explosions from "The Day After" were all based on 2true's bowel movement.
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...with unecessary product placement closeups on the logo
Casino Royale...I'm talking about you... -
particularly Kayne West's acceptance speech?
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I was spreading 2for2true's word last night as one of his devoted disciples. Plus I was sharpening pencils..for 2for2true's army.
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when they knock on your door and you answer, they just stab you in the mouth. They are converted instantly
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and your new path is "lead" before you.
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you guys are the gayest...Who's the catcher.... Sloppy?
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and you hand out stabbings at the airport
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in my pants that smell like GlovedOnes' mom that say I'm not gay.
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that was great
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priceless, Snowcone. Priceless.
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I'm not gay. But marriage is a confusing concept for glovedone, seeing as he will never even touch a boob in his life other than his mom's.
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are the gayest! gross.
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I'm sending Mrs. Glove over right now to give you a good cleaning. Excuse her maid outfit being a little 'worn'....we had a rough lesson.
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a pearl necklace. I'm sure she will love that
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congrats! i think it's great that you found some blind, deaf retard to settle down with. Question: When shes going down on you, do you make her take off the helmet, or do you promise not to thump her soft spot before you fire it off? Also, does her extra drool provide more lubrication?
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my wife is nothing like that
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I got confused by retard and Down Syndrome. My mistake.
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I take solace in the fact that I'm married and have love, and sex, and friends, and a job, and a life, and you will never know any of those things.
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So Glovedone, do you sit in the front or the back of the shortbus? Does it matter to you? Does your mom still cry when she watches you go?
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Feb 11, 2008 1:55:35 PM CST
how many times to you get beat up in school this week?
by just pillow talk
Do you brown bag it and then get it stolen from you every day, or is it every other day now?
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Love and sex with a retard doesn't count. Friends on AICN don't count. Working the receiving end of a gloryhole is not a job and your life is just sad, my friend.
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Mrs. Glove just took my load in her mouth and tried to spit it out. I had to school her.
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and the short bus is a great place to pick up loose chicks. Right Sloppy?
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you getting repetitive, Sparky. Wanna try a new angle?
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I'm sure you troll the speds too
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I dunno. I'll ask if she's game. And only she can call me Sparky, and that's if I take the muzzle off and give the safe word.
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make sure she brings along glovedone's action figures so you can stick them up her ass. "Mommy, why does Optimus smell like poopie?" "Well little bitch, Abom likes shoving toys up mommy's asshole, while I spit on your baby pictures"
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good one Sloppy.
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You just know his real mommy dumped him in the garbage. Surely a baby can't be that horrific looking..can it?
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again, Dumpster_Baby_Love_Braff69
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to use a Jabba figure as a dildo.
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that's what she will scream into the night air
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"Doing the Destro".
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you pull them out and make her smell it. Pillow, when she comes over, be sure to grab her hair and say LOOK WHAT YOU DID and hold the figure under her nose. She gets all wet about it.
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please ban these assholes. I'm trying to be nice and talk about movies.
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SNIFF IT!!!!
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But Harry, glovedone accused us of being gay (as if that were a bad thing were it true) and asked us if we enjoy 'the short bus.' I'll forgive him this time, he couldn't have known that my recently deceased little downs syndrome brother was a homosexual.
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You dirty dog! (tug on the leash) Take a whiff of Flint, you dirty thing, you! (tug on the leash)
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Well little glovey, because I shove it up my ass to get sexually aroused.
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"don't worry child, i'll push it out in a couple days. SNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFF"
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or Steve Austin bionic man, because when you shove them halfway in, you can still hit the button, and somewhere inside, their arms flex and hit her in just the right spot. But jesus they smell like creamed fish in a pile of shit.
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time to ditch the office. See yuz tomorrow. Or tonight, if you're glovedone's mom. I've got the fist of a Shogun Warrior waiting for her, with missiles ready to fire so deep within.
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Glovedone's mom gives a whole new meaning to "sex toys"
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this TB will be even funnier ...
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Feb 11, 2008 3:08:59 PM CST
2TRUE CHISELED THE 10 COMMANDMENTS; MOSES TOOK CREDIT
by bringingsexyback
Who's 2for2true btw?
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2true came into one of the Cloverfield TB's. One poster had said something about calling out someone in the movie theater for saying that they couldn't wait to see Poughkeepsi Tapes, then 2for2true posted his infamous lines. He said something to the effect that "if some shitheel said that in my theater I would stab them in the mouth with a pencil" thus the myth, nay, the legend was born
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Who the fuck uses pencils anymore? Do they even make those? Anyway, 2for2True is indeed a God among legends.
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see ya later man
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I hope I don't incur 2for2's pencil-wielding wrath...
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how all the queers head out at the same time. oh wait, Brokeback is still here.
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Feb 11, 2008 6:11:12 PM CST
Nice to see Britney Spears' former bodyguards guarding Bond.
by mrmysteryguest
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Smoking hot...
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... with a portable defibrillator? bad experience in montenegro a few weeks back."
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Say, what happened to Moneypenny
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that was some TB beating you just took. I thin kthe funniest moment was when you folded and mewled "Harry, save me from the nasty TB'ers. WAAAAAH" Maybe you should just hang up the keyboard?
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ripping on Glovedone for being a virgin. He's obviously never seen a vagina. And that time you were traumatised when you peeked between laced fingers at some porn does not count. He's an only child too, thank god. At least his gene pool pollution sops with him.
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for 600.
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I'm a virgin? I see that you posted at 3am. Who posts at 3am? uhhhh....virgins.
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Anch, Jarv, and yes--Gloved.
In case you miss it, I posted some of my Roy Scheider worship cards in the Roy TB. Straight out of 1978. Here's a preview. Print them out and put them on car windshields in parking lots. "What's that man doing up there?"
http://tinyurl.com/yos45t
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Pillow? Anyone? Pillowtalk?
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I saw pillow but he'll probably be in later
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How's eveyone doing today?
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how's the weather out your way today? We're getting a big ass ice storm here in PA
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Slow news day isn't it?
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of snow (not meat train) over the course of the day. I fully expect to get the snowblower out tonight and make like planet Hoth in the driveway. Because when I'm out there in that shit, the only thing that gets me through is pretending to be Han Solo in Hoth attire, shooting probe droids 'n shit. Did you know Warwick once played a snowblower?
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it's very slow. Lawsuits or Jesus comedies. I don't know which to pick
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last year at this time I spent all day outside with a hammer knocking ice of the car and trying to get the car unstuck. I can just picture someone watching you outside, shovel in hand pointed like a blaster at invisible droids, doing sommersaults :) I prentend it's Ice Station Zebra
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and it reminded me how much I was disappointed in the Hitchiker's movie. I could tell they liked the source but they just got so much wrong I felt
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I can't believe it. And It was funny when glovebraff committed massive self-PWNERSHIP (It's even more humiliating than self-ownership) again trying to slap me. What a tool.
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The only good thing about that was casting Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin the Paranoid Android. Christ, that film made me want to gouge my eyes out.
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The sun always shines on him. It didn't shine once so he ascended into the heavens and stabbed it with a pencil. Luckily god was on hand with a solar puncture repair kit.
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but it's like they wanted to rush everything possible into the movie, thus losing all the humor, and the god-awful romance with Arthur and Trillian, ugh. I had hope in the opening with the Vogon's but, and even though he is a good actor, Mos Def is NOT Ford
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Clips from Ice Station Zebra were reused in the Clint Eastwood movie "Firefox." It's true.
I don't even care if my neighbors see me in the yard, kicking up snow as I duck for cover behind trash cans. I don't care if I'm in my 30s. If a probe droid opens fire, you better duck. -
Croatoan is 2true's actual name
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But didn't see the movie. I guess that's a good thing? Yes? No?
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the call the cops on you because they see you outside cutting open and then laying inside of the neighbor's dog
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was quite a good joke- as in it showed how fucking clueless ford actually was. It just wasn't the joke originally intended.
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if you love the books you will be just let down. I grew up reading the books and listening to the radio plays and the movie captures the spirit of neither
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when I tackle their dogs in the snow and gut them. They don't want to hear my excuses about how I must shove my kid inside to keep them warm. "Smells bad," I say. "But it'll do till I can get a shelter built."
Two of my many talents include making the Tauntaun "kaboowaboo" noise and the Predator "kliklikliks." -
You beat me with the dog joke!
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especially if you like the books/ radio. The movie actually killed a lot of the love I had. Other shit ideas- the understand women gun, Sam Rockwell, Stephen fry as the guide, Sam Rockwell, Romance, Sam Rockwell. Well, you get the idea.
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yes we are funny. You, on the other hand, are not.
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I read 'em in high school, which for me was twenty years ago. I read "Mostly Harmless," in college (the fifth one, when it came out).
My wife hates it when she sends me out to snowblow, and an hour later she opens the back door to find me hanging suspended upside down on the porch. "What the hell are you doing?" She'll ask.
"Wampa got me." -
that's the only purpose it served. They just went through so many jokes as quickly as possible and never hit any of the laughter. Listen to the radio play because that is hilarious.
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except when we play scene-it
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Thank fuck I don't ever have to shovel snow. The absolute worst thing about HGTTG was Sam Rockwell as Zaphod. Especially the way they handled the 2 heads thing. That was a truly, truly rotten idea. I think I hated it so much because I really wanted to like it. I ignored all the warnings and just closed my ears to any criticism and then.....It was shit. I wish a wampa would get them
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lay in the snow in the backyard. I tell them to stay there, but let me know when they've spotted Imperial Walkers on the south ridge.
"And what will you be doing?" my daughter asks.
"Someone has to man the ion cannon so the transports can get away," I tell her, then I get in my car in the drive, crank the heater and listen to the radio. -
she is currently being most rude about Blade the Series. She is starting to understand Bad Cinema, but bad TV just won't wash yet. I will convert her though.
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would throw a wampa at their retarded Zaphod Beeblebrox, and possibly beat him to death with a tauntaun.
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Like getting upset at horror remakes. I sometimes get the impression that she thinks I am mildly retarded.
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that's a good one, I'll have to remember that when I have kids. "daddy, we're freezing out here!" "Well, daddy isn't sure if you are the Thing or not, so if you freeze to death I'll know!"
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I rented "Iron Giant" at the library for the kids. We watched it last night. Pretty good. A thumbs-up family oriented animated movie from Brad Bird. Okay, now back to Hoth and retarded Zaphod.
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he once tried to ride one and it died. No reason, it just died. Mind you he uses wookies to scratch his ass with.
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my wife hates MST3K and I fucking love it, she just doesn't see why it's 'those puppets' are funny :) I tried to get her to watch Lep in Da Hood, she only made it about 5 minutes in and then turned it off. Re-animator is coming in the mail today, so we'll see how she does with that
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At the time, it reminded me of Alien because it was, um...how should I say it--otherworldly bad guys evolving via impregnation of humans in a gross way?
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And (much to my surprise) My wife loved Lep in da hood- from the opening poem, to the terrible music number at the end. I thought she was going to cry with laughter when Coolio pitched up, did nothing and fucked off.
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anything that uses the human body as a host is scary, ie Leprechaun in Space when he lives in that guy and then comes out of his dick-hole
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that's awesome! Look there's Coolio! Look he's leaving already without saying a word!
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is that if you have bothered to get the film then you generally battle your way through it, but if it is on TV then you just change the channel. And some of the shit she thinks is good makes my retinas spontaneously detach. Seriously, what the fuck is the point of Grey's Anatomy? Why does it exist? WHY?
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you've seen warwick Davis explode from the penis of a Space Marine in full Lep Regalia. That film taught me 2 useful things: 1)Never piss on a dead Leprechaun 2) Do not mix scorpion, spider and Alien DNA in a blender before injecting it into yourself. Hysterically, the guy that played MITTENSCHPIDER in it was previously a gay German on dreadful BBC Sitcom 'Allo 'Allo. True.
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for example, America's Next Top Model, The L Word, Sex and the City, American Idol, all that crap
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My wife is a little strange in that she doesn't see the point in watching any movie twice. Doesn't matter how good the movie is. She doesn't see the art to be appreciated in a well-made movie. The only shit she watches twice ever are kid's movies, cuz the DVD player is almost constantly running for them at our house. When they're not out in the snow dodging AT-STs.
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The fact that we can even get American Idol and she insists on watching it makes me die a little inside.
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except the occasional Survivor with the missus. We don't even get cable. This season the only thing that will get me through Survivor are Amanda, Parvati, and Ami's luscious bodies. I watched three episodes of the new Terminator before I told the wife she could stop Tivo-ing it, because I decided I would not commit to it.
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I agree Jarv, it's just a waste of time. Just another money making grab. When I do have children, they will not be watching anything but 80's kids movies like Neverending Story, Flight of the Navigator, Goonies, ect and Pixar films
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Jarv. In fact, a shitload--but it's mostly of the Janet Evanovich romance mystery variety. She reads every night after the kids are in bed. The only stuff she's read that I enjoyed were some Robert Tanenbaum thrillers. I used to read Clive Cussler books all the time, but now they're all the same to me, like James Bond movies used to be. David Morrell is probably my favorite contemporary author. The last shit I read was "No Country for Old Men" and "The Road" by Cormac MacArthy.
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Airwolf, The A-Team, Knightider. I loved that shit when I was a kid
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I hate those fucks.
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I introduced my daughter to "Neverending Story" about a year ago. She loved it. Last month I dug out "Goonies." For some reason, she always doubts my choices at first, but always ends up loving the movie. "Goonies" is now on heavy rotation at our house. And anything by Pixar is like fried cheese with chocolate pussy juice dripped on it. The only one I don't like to watch repeatedly is Cars. Everything else rocks, even for me.
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Hot potato, hot potato! Po-ta-toe po-ta-toe, po-ta-toe! You know, just once it would be funny to see the other three Wiggles wake Jeff up by unzipping his pants and sucking him off. You know they want to. And meanwhile, Captain Feathersword can tickle their anuseseses.
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You guys are so lucky. I can't wait to have kids, and snow.
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that's great that your kids are into the classics like that. I LOVE Neverending Story still, and I haven't seen Cars (probably wont) but I can't wait for Wall E, looks amazing. As for the Wiggles, I used to work with adults with mental disabilities and they LOVED the Wiggles. So that should tell you something
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I think it's Pixar's only genuine misfire.
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in my office who have mental disabilities.
G'morning BSB. I didn't mean to make you cry! If you like, I'll mail you some snow in a box. But it will probably melt. I could mail my kids to you for a visit, but I'd probably have to snap their arms and legs to make them fit.
I just noticed that our morning / afternoon flurry of posts has put this TB back to #1. Whoooieee -
SNOW SNOW SNOW
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I volunteer to go out and snowblow. My wife warns me "You'll freeze before you reach the first marker."
"Then I'll see you in hell," I reply. "And have some fuckin' chicken noodle soup ready for me in an hour." -
the Camden fire. The pub amy crackhouse drinks in has been gutted.
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after being out in the cold? Buttered toast dipped in Hot chocolate. I live really close to Hershey so we have tons of chocolate out here. It even smells like chocolate in the town of Hershey
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It seems that winter is slapping us upside the head one last time, the dirty little whore that winter is...
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looks like an Ethiopian skeleton prostitute. Any man who has sex with her should check daily to make sure their dick doesn't turn to cheese and fall off.
It annoyed me this year that in the category for Best Rock Instrumental, the choices included virtuosos like Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and Rush--but the winner was Bruce Springsteen. WHAT?! I mean, I love the Boss, but he shouldn't even have been in that category to begin with. I've hated the Grammys for years. -
You, me, and Abom are all feeling the whorey drips of winter today it seems. Jarv's got the sun today
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and she didn't look that good to begin with. It's just a question of who checks out firsr: Amy Winehouse2)Britney 3)Lindsay Lohan 4) Pete Doherty (my money's on him) It's kind of a transatlantic dead horse race
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go to youtube and check out John Butler Trio song The Ocean, it's quite a beautiful song, all with a 12 string acoustic
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does Hershey have any pussy juice they can coat with a candy shell?
Morning, pillow! I suspected you'd be around. I trust Denise Richards left the dishes spotless, that fine Christmas Whore. -
I can't believe it's warm here and cold in America. Bizarre.
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Amy looks like she would smell of piss and hairspray, Britney would smell of cheetos and slim jims, and Doherty would smell of gin and feces
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about Jarv posting at 3am brought out the sun for Jarv. Or 2for2true decided there would be sun.I think I would like to see Britney go down in flames first.And you're absolutely right Abom, Bruce should have in no way, shape, or form won that. What a joke.
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I'll go ask at the Factory and see what they can do
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She's a bit sore, but she'll bounce back.
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would britney go down in flames due to a Tony Jaa FLK?
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clean off. If they put that on pay-per-view, I would pay to see that.
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he's that runny headache shit you take when the sun pisses you off
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i love the first fight Jaa gets into this guy comes running at him in the middle of the pit and people are cheering him (not jaa) on, and then my main man Tony kicks him once, and the guy is knocked out cold and the fight is over. One kick. That's what needs to happen to Brit
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http://www.unc.edu/~forrestw/firelegs.jpg
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I personally loved the giant statue head falling on top of the main bad guy (wheelchair bound dude). I must confess that I fast forward it in spots because the "story" was just too horrific.He is amazing though when those dudes are chasing him in the streets and he dives under/over/through stuff that just "happen" to appear right in front of him.I much prefer the Protector.
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who Tony Jaa was. I guess I need to get schooled. That flaming kick is awesome. I know a few people in my office who need one of those upside their heads.
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and I agree that the story in Ong Bak is really bad, but it still has some kick ass fight scenes in it. I loved the opening when they were climbing up the tree and knocking people out of that, just some weird ass way to open a movie
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and prepare to have Tony Jaa kick your fucking head off, the guy is incredible
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I could just imagine the crotch burn on that one
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based on your recommendation, and that photo, I'll get it. I don't even care if it's English or Swahili. Does he FLK any dinosaurs? That'd be SWEET.
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Those dudes were just dropping like flies. Still, the Protector had that one long take of him going up the stairs. You know he was so fucking tired at the top there, but then he got pissed off and started pounding the shit outta that guy. And I cannot stress enough that last fight scene is called "battle of the behemoths" or something like that. I mean, they throw a fucking baby elephant! Oh, and plus the fight scene before that had the most broken arms and legs I've ever seen.
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Remember, tendons are your friends.
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is enought to watch that movie. The stair battle is amazing. I want to see Jaa in a movie with no story at all, no words except for screams, just fighting for 90 minutes. Tony Jaa VS the World
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like Pillow said, get the Protecter first, then rent Ong Bak
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that I was into Jackie Chan in the 90s. Kind of like kloipy said with Jaa, the storylines suck and at one point I edited a bunch of fight / stunt scenes together. That was good. But it was VHS. I'd like to have a better version of it now.
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different "sacred" animal. It could take place on an alien planet where they hold, I don't know, the platypus as the most sacred animal. (yup, platypuses populate the universe) Tony Jaa must bring back the platypus to his village on the outer rim. Carnage and mayhem ensue, and he'll have some sort of "galactic kick".
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that's true, I do love the whole sacred animal plot. He can protect the north american badger in the next on (loved the platypuss thing man, hilarious). Abom about Chan, he used to be amazing, some of his early movies blow my mind like Fearless Hyena
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had him fighting his master for a bit of food and they fought with chopsticks and then him jumping on top and into these pots, it was great stuff
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in the states with "Rumble in the Bronx," I checked out his older shit. This was before I was married and had more free time! Anyway, the stunts were cool even if completely over-the-top. As a movie geek I could respect any guy who can walk into a room full of bad guys and kick their asses with like, found objects, like ladders and empty buckets.
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I remember seeing it, but I don't remember what movie it was from.You should get a bonfire going...perhaps "borrow" some things from the office.
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Dude would break more bones.
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because it wasn't wire fu, it was carefully choreographed shit that Chan thought out in his head. Man, I'd love to march down the hallways in my office just kicking people around like that, chucking staplers at their heads and bouncing off file cabinets. That would make my day go faster.
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lead to less requests by other departments, especially if said departments were unconscious due to a Chan basket to the head or a Chan notebook to the head. Do you think we could rent Chan like one day a week to do that? It's gotta be better than working with Owen Wilson all the time, right?
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close my office door in the afternoon and stand on my desk practicing FLKs. If I can surf the web and spend hours on TBs, I have no excuse to not have a decent FLK. Then no wampa would fuck with me. Unless they deck me into the snow and my leg gets doused. Then I'd have to click from GymKata mode to Die Hard mode and gouge the wampa's eyes with an icicle.
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I thought Redfist was quoting Alan Rickman from Die Hard. Then I realized he was making an authentic, on-topic comment about Craig's suit.
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there has been some cool stuff done with wire-fu but give me the old classics where lives are at risk and let me marvel at what the human body can do
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And redfist, how do you feel about Tony Jaa?
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No wire-fu!!!! For some movies it's okay (I'm thinking Matrix), but you want old school, kicks galore, people flying all over the place, the good 'ol fashioned way.
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he dresses up like a woman in one scene and uses these oranges as breasts as this guy is trying to seduce/rape him and Chan keeps whipping him with a fan and the oranges, it's a great movie
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I liked it with Matrix and Hero and stuff, but the old classics are the real deal and the Tony Jaa stuff is just amazing, wire-fu is like a cheat
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he used to do so much cool shit, but as of late it seems like people just think he's a hack martial artist
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Feb 12, 2008 9:51:39 AM CST
that's pretty funny...oranges as breasts are comic gold
by just pillow talk
Yeah, Chan's rap has been beaten down. I'm not sure why he chose some of the movies he's done in the U.S. I guess he didn't have good opportunities or something.
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I can't expect the guy to be jumping up buildings much anymore, but he should be a legend and now he's kind of a joke
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their hold music sounds like it should be in Desperado
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Feb 12, 2008 9:56:50 AM CST
if 2for2true was his agent, thihgs would have been different
by just pillow talk
Chan would have been a pretty big star, and countless agents, producers, directors, grip people...would have had pencils stuck in their mouths....
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Citizen Kane 10 years before he was born
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yeah I was wondering why he posted that
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I really loved the Burly Brawl in Matrix Reloaded when that came out. For me, that was the height of wire-fu, but also the jumping of the shark.
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like the one in the beginning of Casino Royale who jumps through all kinds of shit? Or "Hamster Boy" in Die Hard 4? It's cool stuff--but that's exactly what Chan has been doing for 20 years and is now getting too old to pull off safely.
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or Lithe Cloverfield
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but since I don't remember exactly, I'm going with your answer. I agree with ya Abom on Matrix Reloaded. It's another story though, if they should have even gone that route and not followed through with the ending of the first one.
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Mariachi was cool too. I liked Once Upon a Time in Mexico, but the story kinda veered away from el mariachi too much. Good stuff though, and the soundtrack was good. Mark Knoffler 'n shit.
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Guys hopping to and fro...Salma Hayek (thank you Desperado!)
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it reminds me of that super nintendo game F-Zero, and i won't be seeing it
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best part in Across the Universe. Salma + Nurse Outfit=best scene in a movie
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Forget about it, I'd be FLKing everyone in my office just for sheer entertainment, and the police wouldn't be able to stop me because I could dodge their bullets. Or if I felt lazy, I'd just hold up my hand and freeze the bullets in mid air. And Wampas? Forget it. Because I'd be "The One." Then I'd go home by leaping across car hoods on the freeway.
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especially the elements one since he's already done fire. A natural progression to earth and wind I think. But Tony Jaa comes with no sidekicks, unless he sidekicks someone in the ribs. His knees serve as his sidekicks.
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could pull bullets out of me anytime she likes. I didn't see Across the Universe, but her noood scene in Desperato was, shall we say, tits. Did you know that Warwick Davis played a sombrero in Desperado? Yeah, and at various points elsewhere he also played a vending cart and a guitar case that shot rockets. That was him.
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he's not even real.
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It's a great party trick.
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I spit up on my keyboard....ewwwww.Warwick also played the rockets, but that took so long to shoot the scenes cause then they had to track him down and see where he landed, then put back in the guitar case. Quite a lengthly process.
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he was a sage bush
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is better than being a "Jumper" like Anakin. Anyday. You can't be "The One" if you're a jumper. You're just another jumper.
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The devil isn't winning this game...
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with his jumping shit.
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like Clyde in Every Which Way But Loose. How sweet would that be to have a drunk orangutan in a dress pointing at which people Tony should FLK? Then Tony would laugh while standing on a pile of bodies and give Clyde a big hug.
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that's easy. 2true wins.
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He would only use one knee and it wouldn't matter.I keep putting in a job post for a sidekick orangutan at work, but so far, nothing. I can only imagine how much better my work productivity would be.
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yet we're #1 by over 100 posts. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Warwick for that, and Wampas and AT-ATs, and bullet-time and Tony Jaa's insane sinews.
Outside my window, the snow has started. It's a good bet the Empire knows we're here. -
that would rule! They could make coffee for me and fling poop at people I don't like. I don't see why I can't have one
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Tony Jaa does not exist. 2for2true's pencil has the power of a million suns. Tony Jaa's knees have the power of drunken orangutan's hug.I say it's a draw.
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because they would mutiny like Caesar in Conquest for the Planet of the Apes, and probably anally rape us then lobotomize us. Which wouldn't be that bad for some people.
It's official--I've put in to take May 22nd off work. Because I'll be recovering from Indy and the Aliens at the midnight show. I think I'll take my daughter. -
Jaa stars as a blind cop fighting against the Yakuza for the safety of a lemur. during final battle Jaa uses the line "I was blind, but now I can KNEE!!!"
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just in time for me to head to class. Sheer awesomeness.My monkey would make copies of his ass and then send them to all departments through inter-department mail.He would also have 37 offenses against him due to "extreme groping" of the opposite sex.
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see you guys later
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If Tony Jaa can turn invisible at will...
and if 2for2true once took out all the electrity and heat in an Imperial Star Destroyer with one pencil...
and retarded adults enjoy the Wiggles...then purple wiggle Jeff must be Darth Vader.
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and I think we'll be okay. Just to be doubly sure, don't name your little monkey Caesar either.
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though if evil never sleeps, then he can't be Darth Vader. But if he is, then that must mean that Captain Feathersword is Luke!
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A young man. Two kneecaps brutally fractured in a back-alley ambush. But now they've been surgically enhanced, the bone and cartilege laced with adamantium steel. Unless you've got a sharp No. 2 Green Bay Packers pencil, God have mercy on your soul...because his kneecaps won't.
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are you sure you guys are adults? How overweright are you, really?
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It would be cool if, every time the other 3 wiggles go to wake Jeff, he's surrounded by empty beer cans and porn magazines, and his fly is down and there's jizz dripping from his hands and he's drooling.
Hey pillow, whaddaya teach / take? -
virgins talk about. For christ's sakes, it's just wrong. Can you guys talk about something that is relevent to men over 30? Warwick, Wampas...FUCK!!
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JESUS!
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put it off a couple of years due to kid/moving, and now I'm back on the saddle: Marketing and Audit Case Analysis.
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I'm a trim 170. 195.3 if you count my pencil bandoliers. Ever try to outrun a wampa? You can't be packing any excess in the caboose.
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the wiggles got in a fight with Warwick dressed as a Wampa? Who would win? Ohhh, what if the Protector showed up in hoth with a number 2 pencil and a snowblower. Lame.
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at least, not this Gen of wiggle. He might have been one of the 1st gen Wiggles. He wore the white T-shirt and black pants, and had holes in his hands, and could be seen distributing loaves and fishes to the audience.
Pillow, I gots me an MPA. I bit the bullet hard and got it the same time as the JD. I figured if I was going back to school, I'd go for the long haul. It's nice to be done, and to finish before your kid gets old enough to notice you're not home at night (because you're at class, or are purging the streets of crime as a Laddy-flinging vigilante). Good luck with it. -
is Glove's mom. Tell her the lesson tonight as been postponed due to snow, and that we'll have back-to-back lessons tomorrow night.
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Hope to finish this year (as long as all the classes are offered at some point this year), and after these two, I'll only have three left. Yay summer classes (grumble-grumble...)
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Wampa respect is ageless. As for the wiggles vs. Warwick-as-wampa, Warwick would win easy. See, Jeff would be asleep, so Warwick will crush his skull first, then dispatch the others by beating them to death with Jeff's severed leg. Only Jesus Wiggle might stand a chance, because he can see in bullet-time. Warwick's best defense in that case would be to remove the wampa mask and allow the sun to refract off his already blindingly white smile, so as to burn Jesus Wiggle, a la Iron Man's uniray.
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he can hop all over the place without ever touching the snow. Second, he doesn't need a pencil. His knees could take down the AT-AT walkers..he don't need a stinking pencil.
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still don't know how...
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are you sure you were banned? Sometimes when you try to log in, it'll keep coming up blank if you don't delete your cookies and refresh. That happens to me all the time. At first I thought I'd been given the shut-out.
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And the fact that Glovedone doesn't know doesn't surprise me.
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The best advice. Straight from Neil Peart, through Geddy Lee's mouth.
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all his posts as gloved/braff08/zachbraff08 are MIA
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because no one over the age of 18 uses the phrase "owned". You are the most childish person I've met on AICN.
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you won't be banned. Posting inappropriate comments on obits is not the best way to try and get attention.
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I guess I just make childish cracks about someone's mom and action figures and I can stay! got it!
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acting that way. I'm still mourning Roy Scheider, who was like the uncle who never came to visit but whose vacation photos I'd always see. So mocking the dead is not on the cool list this week, if ever. So there! Speaking of Roy Scheider, did you know that Warwick portrayed the second yellow barrel in the original Jaws?
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You can make as if you penetrated the rectum of Mother Theresa with a Nein-Numb action figure repeatedly, and made her sniff it while she wore a dog collar, but making fun of the freshly dead is a no-can-do Laredo
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because we wont let anyone forget the asshole he is and he just wants someone to talk to him and think he's funny, but he's way on the outside and no one takes anything he says seriously
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He was in make-up a long time to get his skin the right yellow.
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again as the yellow barrel, except he had plants potted in him on the Brody's front porch. It's the most awesome cameo ever. I think he also had a bit in Jaws 3 as Calvin Bouschard's drink table in the underwater restaurant.
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been snowing all day so far, now it's slowly turning into a mix of snow/sleet
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there are tons of other people on this site, why don't you go talk to them, ok?
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Feb 12, 2008 12:05:30 PM CST
you know what they had on sci-fi this past weekend?
by just pillow talk
I think all the Pumpkinhead movies. I caught the beginning of the second one where the kids are riding in the car flashing the headlights on and off, and then precede to hit an alleged witch. Unfortunately, I had to run and do something and missed the rest.
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The "U" is just above the "J," and "N" is below it, between "B" and "M."
I'm just busting your balls. I wonder if Chief Brody, in the world of Jaws, was buried in Amity or back home in NYC, or possibly even buried at sea, given that his fate was inextricably tied to sharks and the sea. I mean, you gotta imagine that after Jaws 2 everyone in the town must have been lining up to suck his dick, given that they thought he was crazy and they fired him. Yet he was right, it WAS another shark, and most of their kids were in danger. He must have been like, "See? I was right. Now suck it, Larry." -
I just saw that there is a 4th one now and Lance is in this one again. How many Pumpkinhead movies can there be? People gotta stop going to see that witch. I feel the same way about Tremors. Stay out of the fucking desert. And question how is it possible for Michael Gross to be in all the tremors including the one that takes place in the past?
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Tremors 2 baby, aftershocks
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was Mallory's dad on Family Ties. I can't remember for sure, but I probably beat my baboon once or twice over her back in 1983. Whore.
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Feb 12, 2008 12:16:13 PM CST
I didn't realize Michael Gross was in all of them...
by just pillow talk
Mallory's dad exists on a different plane, so of course he could go back in time.You would think Lance can get some other work other than Pumpkinhead.
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the dude is in pretty much every DTV movie out there anymore. I feel bad for the guy because he is a good actor, he just gets a lot of shit roles
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because how many people can say they were killed by a terminator, an alien, AND a predator? None, I say! They should have had him in AvP:R just so the predalien could kill him. Just to add another.
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in a throw-down between Lance, Michael Gross, and Fred Ward? Jesus, that's tough to call, unless any of them know the FLK. I guess I would bet a dollar on Fred Ward, because not only was he Timerider, he was Remo Williams and could walk on water.
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each post bears(hee hee I said bear) honor to his name. I mean, the dude IS the Leprechaun, and we all hold Lep in Da Hood in the highest regard. Seriously.
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We're not making fun of Warwick. He is an icon. When I say dumb stuff like, "he played a waffle iron in 'The Mist," I don't mean it for real, although whatever movie I mention would almost assuredly have benefitted from Warwick's participation in that regard. Goddamn, I love that fuzzy little ewok! And those medical words you said about dwarves...I don't know what those mean...
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seriously it's called Agent 1-1/2 and he plays a secret agent. They should call it Quantum of Smallest
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Feb 12, 2008 12:28:00 PM CST
see, I thought those words anchorite strung together
by just pillow talk
meant that Warwick played a sponge in an episode of "ER", and that's when George left because he felt threatened by Warwick's iconic status.
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that Warwick Davis can see the world in bullet-time. So even if we were making fun of him, which we are not, he is anything but a vulnerable little guy. He can stop a bus with his MIND! I would not shit on him, because he'd probably use his elfin telekenetic powers to make my body explode from within.
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Weren't the little dudes named the Brownies or something?
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as for the epic Lance-Michael-Ward fight, I think I may have to go with The Gross on this one.
1.Lance has the habit of being killed fairly easily and he's taken by suprise.
2.Fred Ward was in Joe Dirt
3.The Gross has managed to kill tremors before he was even alive. -
Actually, my sister in law is a dwarf. She's not as small as Warwick, but still, if I knew Warwick I would hook them up.
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because in the 70's National Lampoons came out with a parody book about LOTR, it was called Bored of the Rings, and they did use Dildo as his name
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Feb 12, 2008 12:36:16 PM CST
but perhaps The Gross can't kill things above ground
by just pillow talk
Could be a bit of a problem. Fred Ward was also in Corky Romano. Strike two.
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I have to go with my man Warwick though in a battle between him, and the Dink though
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to say, "Oh yeah, my brother's coming over." And it's Warwick Davis. But growing up it might not be so cool to have Warwick as a brother. I could see getting beaten up at school, which I was once or twice, and hearing the bullies say, "What? Gonna get your 'big' brother on me? Bwahahahaha!" But of course, once he develops his sense of bullet-time, forget it.
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And you talk blasphemy Anchorite. Warwick is King.
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holy shit, now I'm going to have to see that
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...when Fred Ward might have been the next action hero. Uncommon Valor, Timerider, Remo Williams...but then along came Barry Bostick as Ace Hunter, in the greatest action film of all time, MEGAFORCE. After that, forget it, all so-called heroes are merely shells of Ace. Except maybe Tony Jaa.
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having Warwick as a bro-in-law would fucking rule. I'd make him sing the rap from Lep in da Hood all the time
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Barry Bostwick
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where he pissed on the floor right? Warwick would never let something like that happen. What about Marty Klebba(sp), he was in the Pirates movies and on that Little People Big World show, speaking of which the dad on that show got a DUI
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he was in?
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he was drunk as shit
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is probably the cure for cancer, and they just don't know it yet. Whereas Vern Troyer's urine is just, well, piss.
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I'm still going Michael "The" Gross as the overall champion. Burt killed Graboids, Ward was in joe dirt and corky romano.
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otherwise it can cause a Messiah complex which in turn leads the person to believe they have Warwick like powers of flight
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your "Warwick flight" joke made me spit out part of my Payday bar. Nice!
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but I gotta say, Gross has the power of time travel, weapons galore, and the mustache of misery, which causes anyone who so much as glances at it to go crazy with visions of death
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his powers of flight inspired the Wright brothers to dream of dancing amongst the clouds
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Now Xiphos, if we're talking NBC goons, then you've gotta have the gorilla arms. I put that on my resume to them.
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AND an alcoholic orangutan sidekick.
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she would win with the Taint of Destiny, it opens to R'lyeh and awakens the great and awful Cthulhu
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Somethings are just a mistake of nature...and the whole world pays...
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gorilla arms didn't have anything to do with that kill if I'm not mistaken. It was Bacon Power!
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that may be true, however The Gross came back for a fourth helping of Tremors when Mr.Fred "I have gorilla arms" Ward only could handle two
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The Gross went back in time and killed graboids before Fred Ward was born so hence technically The Gross killed them first
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Two things come to mind though after talking about Tremors, of all things: (1) I really am in the mood to watch Tremors now and (2) I've just got to watch The Gross go back in time to kill Tremors.
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that there is a whole world out there to explore. Get out and get a life. You guys are just sad. I'm crying all over my keyboard. I want to send you a prostitute, but Sloppy's mom is busy right now
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Fred Ward. Michael Gross. Wampas. you should all be banned.
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why aren't you taking your own advice instead of trolling us?
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Feb 12, 2008 1:33:26 PM CST
I'm sorry drippy little whore, are we talking to you?
by just pillow talk
Why don't you go post in some other thread.
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Ah, but you forget that Fred Ward is Timerider, and he can chase Michael Gross through time on his motorcycle.
Braffed, I'm not concerned with "the whole world" out there. I'm quite content with my city goverment paying me over 50Gs a year to spend time on this TB discussing Warwick with you. There are days when I earn my pay, but this ain't one of 'em. Unless I get stuck driving home in this shit, in which case I'll have to go into Hoth mode and hope Echo 3 locates us in time. -
then i got some coffee and came back. shut up, troll.
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I haven't seen it in ages, but I thought that they were running from the tremor and it followed the Bacon and that's when he made an "amazing" leap out of the way and the tremor went through a small ditch and smashed until the other side.
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Drippy Little Whore. You should make people pay you to use it.
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not anything about Michael Gross. Go away. No one likes you guys.
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I'd pay to use it but Abom's mom charges too much for anal.
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The Gross has been immortalized in art
http://www.survivalarts.com/images/burtgummer.jpg -
just realized I owe you a quarter.
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my mother's prices are very reasonable. Quit bitching!
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oh god you guys are so funny. Go away.
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That's sweet that she makes you grown-up coffee. Be careful, it could be a bit hot.Abom, if I have my alcoholic orangutan, he could be my enforcer. Literally, my gorilla arms.
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for in the living room, above the mantel?
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glovedone, you came back to be annoying, no one likes you and you tell us to get a life and yet you come in here and call us gay and then act like you are better than all of us when you a troll!
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My God, him and guns just don't go together.
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We've been here since 7:30am, and that's just the time for today.
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your height not your penis, that will never grow past an inch
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I'll hang that art right above my Billy the talking Bass statue
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I wont get to see in a few months I'm sure
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cause it's not true at all
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by default saying something like that puts you into the Dustin Diamond category of dork-hood
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Just try and keep up with me and you might learn something.
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Lucky bastard (the sun and tiny blonde).
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stop talking about fucking star wars and tremors.
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doesn't it seem like there should be a 'huntin' dog' in that picture too?
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stop acting like you guys are in a all-male orgy. It's just creepy and gives off a foul odor.
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stop trying to gang-p on a single person and getting owned
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It's not 2for2true for whom we should be disciples, but none other than THE GLOVE. THE GLOVE = success THE GLOVE = all-knowing THE GLOVE = chick magnetOh tell us oh wise one, what is our teachings of the day, oh drippy little whore?
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Stop eating junk food. go outside and actully talk to a woman
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and there's no U in that "we" douchebag.
They're closing our building now because of the weather (unlike me, they are not trained for Hoth's environment). So I must go. If I do not make it back tomorrow, it means I am probably hanging upside down in a wampa cave. -
in our lives to be like THE GLOVE. All of us will need to get divorced, pretend we don't have kids, jobs, lives, family, friends, people who love and like us. And we have to move back in with our moms where she'll make us coffee and hot buns. We'll have our own "command center". It'll be great, right drippy little whore?
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this is what a woman smells like. In fact, it's what your mom smells like.
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the command center is sweet and nothing beats moms cooking. You're so fucking lame Sloppy. you come up with the same shit all day.
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Yeah, may the force be with you Abom.
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you douche
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i'm going to come back in a few hours. I hope that you guys can collectivly think of another way to insult me. Your shit is getting tired. be creative. I'm judging on creativity, absence of star wars metaphors and use of the word "olive"
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See you in hell
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from time to time.
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Lost Jarv..
by Braffed Feb 11th, 2008
10:17:13 AM
whatever. I'm the cleverest and you know it. OWNED.
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See ya later drippy little whore!
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He's the bestest drippiest little whore there is. Be proud glovedone!
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and a fucking loser
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glovedone is neither man nor woman, he's more of the consistency of jello
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You are aware that it's there, but it gets lost in all the rest of the blubber.
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you can't look away
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go home, basically if they want to. However, I still gotta wait around and see if school will be open or not. Bastards.
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he just calls us gay, says "owned' and then shrinks back to the safty and warmth of his mothers bosom
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my work would stay open during the apocolypse
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Michael Gross and Gorrila Arms, that is just rife territory
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Indeed, Xiphos was drawn into battle to stick up for gorilla arms.
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and yet the yearning for attention enables him to come back for more.
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that is one nice thing about them.
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it is iced over on the ground out here and yet I have to stay until 5 just as the sun has gone down and it gets even colder
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when we get a review for Midnight meat Train, that TB will explode
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Feb 12, 2008 2:23:12 PM CST
I'M SELF-EMPLOYED AND JUST GAVE MYSELF THE AFTERNOON OFF
by bringingsexyback
And what do I do with it? Watching Little House On The Prairie of course!!
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His TV daughter's brother (Jason) just got orphaned in front of his eyes so Charles Ingalls will be adopting him and his sis. If Ingalls ran for President I'd vote for him.
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You've sang kumbaya with anchorite...you've come clean on your former identity. Now comes the hard part...typing with the caps lock off in the subject line.
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But I'll consider it. Not easy switching all the time ... specially when spamming
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Come here you.. I'll give you the attention you so crave ..
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He said he'll be back in a few hours, so you'll have to wait. Be prepared to be called, are you ready? Gay, OWNED, he's better than you, and other assorted whammies.
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Feb 12, 2008 2:35:28 PM CST
HERE'S A TIP FOR GETTING YOUR WIFE AND MOM FLOWERS FOR CHEAP
by bringingsexyback
Order a nice bouquet for one, then when it arrives, complain that it looks like shit and they will send a second one for free. 2 for 1 sale, courtesy of BSB.
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I see nothing has changed except Brokback is in the gay pride rally now
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Time to put him back on ignore. Haha he hates that.
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His mommy does that to him, and I think therein lies the problem.
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you had an hour and still mom jokes. weak.
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That's how predictable he is. A little attention seeker who'll come out for just a few crumbs. And yep, comes right out with that gay reference.
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insecure feelings or something.
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hahaha double meaning intended
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i was hoping to find someone to match my superior wit, but no one can. I even gave you all an hour to come up with something new. Even with my generosity, you still fall short. Even with Brokeback...sigh. Is there anyone out there that can challenge me?
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glovedone/braff is scared because of the 'secret feelings' he has for the late great Derek Jeter
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that is priceless Glovedone!
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you are so lame and unoriginal. OWNED! i like to lick Zackk Braff's penis
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I see no evidence of such.
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don't you remember, he said "owned"! He's got us there!
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but once the credits roll I'm straight again.
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you can't always win. Keep trying. Focus that hostility that you have for me and use it for good. I have faith.
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and stares at it's Taye Diggs poster and cries
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Feb 12, 2008 2:58:51 PM CST
later Kloipy...time for me to venture out into the snow
by just pillow talk
and head to class. Fucking non-canceling college.
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I'm sure one day you'll make a friend.
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But did you remember that he had no idea what "Pwned" was? That had me guffawing. Who doesn't know Pwn?
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Thanks for keeping our nation's professors employed.
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Then tell your wife you got her two bouquets cuz you love her twice as much. Then try to leverage that into a blowjob before the feelings wear off..
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because then we could go back and read all about his hilarious wit
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That's not American. Damn commies.
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Feb 12, 2008 3:09:14 PM CST
WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT PWN AND REPLIGN IN FRONT OF BRAFFED
by bringingsexyback
He'll feel like an outsider and excluded, and have nothing to say. And we wouldn't want that do we?
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terrible, terrible news....
by ZackBraff08 Feb 4th, 2008
03:20:33 PM
i farted
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Shame he wastes it all on us unworthy ones.
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he might as well be Richard Pryor
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farts.
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could start such a lovely discussion. To all the trolls out there--we thank you for making our lives interesting. Now please go away and never come back.
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Here's a quarter for your opinion. Now go fuck yourself...
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you are an idiot
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Thanks for the quarter.
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here's a dime. go fuck Abom. oppss too late. Abom, Sloppy owes you 10 cents.
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she's really cheap
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You need it more than I do.
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didn't see that coming, sunshine. How much did MiraJeff charge you when he tore your ass up in that other TB, Sloppy?
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you have a huge obsession with gay men
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That was inappropriate.
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great post MiraJeff!
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but Sloppy is still a little bitch
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HAIL NAW!!! Damn i just got owned, pwned, and home-aloned! Glovedone/braffed is da man! He likes to suck his dogs dick, yo!
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predicatable...but CLASSIC!
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Show the man some respect Braffed.
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to discussing James Bond entering a taxi? Thank you.
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Do you pronounce it "Poned" or "Pawned?" I've heard it both ways.
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Just pronounce it "Owned". Saying it in real life aint the same as its Net meaning ...
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*behold*
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You guys should have been in the Star Ward TB last night. I needed a few allies to thrash Jeff Albertson.
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I love ya all!;-)
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one for the topic!TerryMalloy,you did a good job with "ALBERTson".
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But it would have been more fun with more people chimin' in.
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No, I have a real comment to say. I was thinking about Clive Owen as Bond. Before I saw Casino Royale I thought Clive would make the perfect Bond. But now that I think about it, I think his Bond would have been more sleazy, more lazy, less a cold-blooded killer.
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No humor at all in his soul. Usually I wear down my opponents with my self deprecation or nonsense insults but he didn't seem to understand the game.
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I've been waiting a long time for it. Maybe I shouldn't have wasted it on Albertson, but I couldn't help myself
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I was sick of that easy money!
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70s? Any bikini clad hotties around? No one's even walking around here, which is kinda nice.
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You left teh nasty stains!!
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I also live in paradise
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because they both use the following tactics: 1) gay baiting 2) using a constant running tally on how they are "winning" the flame war 3) claiming intellectual superiority 4) name calling 5) Constantly saying "Is that all you got?" and things of this nature. The difference is Braffed is actually a little more passive than Albertson.
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on the two of them. Because in my opinion the tactics you use to get what you want say a lot about who you are as a person.
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I need a quantum so's I cins lace my shoes up. Then we'll be in bidness. I cin leave my home. Take a jog. Kick a log. Alls cause I gots a quantum. A quantum of shoelace. Praise the Lawd. I AM THE LAWD!!! YEEEEEEAAAAAH!
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Yeah. Yep. Yup. Yes. Yessssssssssssssssss...
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WORD IS BOND MUTHERFUGGERS!!! WOOOOOT!
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In this movie, James Bond has to fight some hot ladies... to sexy results! WOOOOOOOT!
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James gets downsized and he cant afford his outrageous mortgage so he's homeless and he hangs himself. But then he comes back to life and meets some hot bagladies and fucks them and gets syphalis and picks up a drug habit and dies in his sleep choking on his own vomit. THE END! WOOOOOT!
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I wonder what will happen this time? WHAT?! WOOOOOT!!!
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007 turns 70 (again), gets Alzheimers, forgets where he put his license to kill, wanders away from the rest home, becomes a vagrant righter of wrongs, has sex with street people and animals, becomes a kind of street god, goes completely bonkers and believes he is the messiah, leads a crazy old homesless people revolution and crushes the world like so many Ludovico treatmented Alex's mewling for mercy!!! WOOOOT!
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Oh, post modern! Some kind of handheld faux docu debacle, no doubt.
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James Bond infiltrates the 700 club and rapes and kills his way to the top, toppling the organization from within like some kind of undiagnosed STD which may be KILLING YOU RIGHT NOW!!! WOOOOOOOOT!!!
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I'm going to be armchair psychologist based on absolutely no real, viable information on you and no experience or training on my part. You've said you like to avoid political talkbacks. So maybe that means you generally try to avoid conflict. Usually what you want is to be left alone so your tactics are to deflect, ignore, and confuse. Inevitably though what you want will be in conflict with someone else. I bet what you do is charm, amuse, seduce, and maybe guilt the other person. Basically I just made all that stuff up but I'm a writer so I am interesting in that stuff about people. I always like to think about what my characters tactics are to get what they want.
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I hope that Taxi has an ejector seat.
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are still jokes compared to the 60s Bonds.
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That's funny. I kind of figured :)
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The Replign is a time machine. Used by various TBers to cause havoc or retrieve ancient Talkbacks into the here and now. I've never done that myself, as it's a practice that's frowned upon by the powers that be (aka Mori and Harry).
What I have done, however, is go back in time and have sex with numerous Talkbackers' mothers, effectively becoming their fathers. That, my friend, is the Ultimate in Pwnership.
With that, I bestow upon you the keys (*hands keys to Xiphos*) .. have fun! -
You did a fine job on Jeff Albertson, as I only saw this morning. Next time we hold him down and do unspeakables on him ..
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If I'm not mistaken, I'm still your father from our past, erm, conflict. Don't forget me on Father's Day. I like electronics.
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Show me that superior wit of yours, Sparkles.. Are you game?
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I'm not sure how I feel about group rape. Just doesn't sound right, ya know?
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How about we strip him naked and unleash some dogs on Jeffy?
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He wants to say something but knows we'll instantly ignore him once he does. And that kills him a little bit inside. Cruel to toy with his emotions like that though. Like picking the wings off a fly.
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I have also had lots of fun with the Replign. LOTS.Good luck and Godspeed!
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Sadly worked intervened yesterday or I would have thoroughly enjoyed punishing BRaffed for his stupidity
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Anchorite: We worship Warwick, he's like a very small, very powerful sun whose rays we are lucky enough to bask in. Seriously, we love Leprechaun and many of his other cultural gifts. But not Celebrity Scissorhands. That was shit. Terry: We only Hijack threads that are completely lame and pointless (this one is a prime example- Daniel Craig gets Taxi in austria. Shit the bed.) It doesn't hurt anyone and gives us countless hours of enjoyment talking about the important things in life- Wampas, Bears etcDo Wampas count as Bears? Tony Jaa is indeed awesome, Braffed- beating you up in a Talkback is the equivalent of kicking a cripple. There is no need to gang up on you, as anyone able bodied can do it. In fact, if anything we do not gang up on you, you bring it on yourself by reappearing like a particularly noxious cloud of gas, typing "you guys are gay. Owned" and then fucking off again. If you are going to fuck off, then please stay gone. Kloipy- Pumpkinhead 4. I was recently in Brazil and saw it on a shelf in a video shop. They made 3 and 4 back to back and they are both apparently quite good. 2 was not good- it was no fun at all. My main disappointment with the pumpkinhead franchise is that the monster does not, in any way,shape or form, have a pumpkinhead. I feel severely let down by this. Lance- athough the man is a god, he is not to be forgiven for starring as Weyland in the first AvP. BAD LANCE, BAD.I think that's everything.
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I'm in a state of shock
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which is actually quite a good joke and I'm impressed that you came up with it:You are a despicable drippy little whore that likes to insert OLIVE pits into his penis before smearing himself in OLIVE oil and screaming at the moon in an OLIVE grove. You are never happier than when someone is jamming whole OLIVES into your rectum until you swell up like an OLIVE, turn OLIVE green and then settle down in front of your mother's television to furiously masturbate ot OLIVE OYL on Popeye. But, bizarrely, you are weirdly prejudiced against black OLIVES as they don't form part of your uber-race of green OLIVE fetishists.
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I may have to check out Pumpkinhead 3 and 4 now
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we could of used you in the fight
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I thought I was going to have to do the tumbleweed gag: *Jarv shouts out as tumbleweed rolls by and somewhere in the distance a lone church bell forlonely tolls a single time*
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where some pointy headed nerd talked for FOUR FUCKING HOURS about "making the optimum use of our database capabilities" and "actioning a striplight ergonomic data management system". No, I have no idea what that meant either. I just wanted to scream "ACTION IS NOT A VERB YOU FUCKING PRICK" whilst clubbing him to death with the user manual. Every time someone speaks like that I see George Orwell's coffin burrow towards teh centre of the earth.
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I don't know if it is available for us- It can be downloaded though. I am quite surprised at the fanbase it has in Brazil. very strange.
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Tell me about it, I have to have meetings with local phone companies and God do those people drag shit out. Brazil knows of the legend of pumpkinhead? Interesting.
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now that the writers are back.
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and it wasn't even Rio. It was at some shitty town in Minas Gerais.
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If someone said that to me in a meeting I would leap out of the nearest window
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Contains 5 films
Ishtar
The City of God
Meatballs 3
Pumpkinhead 3
Pumpkinhead 4 -
We won't. And anyone who thinks otherwise is fucking kidding themselves. Reality TV (I worked for one once) is cheap, inexplicably popular with the key demographic and sadly, here to stay. If you look at the summer schedules anyway it is driven by the likes of Big Brother, American arsehole, Survivor et al. I'm waiting for the groundbreaking reality TV "experience" called "Vom on Gran"- where a group of "real" lowlifes spend 3 weeks locked in a shed taking turns to vomit on their grandmothers. Allegedly it's a social experiment.
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I was just passing through. I love Brazil, it's a great place.
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The thing is- I couldn't believe it so I wrote it down. I looked up every meaning of the words when I got back to my desk and in no way at all could it be said to make sense. Let alone mean anything. Management-speak arsehole.
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sad to say, I could see that playing very well here in the states. Reality is the lowest of the low. I don't know how many MTV shows you guys may see over there but have you ever heard of The Real World/Road Rules challenge? Or their dating show Next? Those are the bastions of soul killers
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those guys deal in profits and pie charts. I bet he has a blackberry and drinks a lot of latte's
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I think fox just picked up "Vom on Gran".
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or as I like to think of it: Put the 6 most obnoxious fuckers on the planet in one flat and see how long it takes for them to fuck/ fall out. He also had braces and a combover. I don't even work in It, and was horribly distressed to find that "Proactively promoting the use of the database" had been shoehorned into my job description. I can't use the fucking thing, so how on earth am I to encourage other people to use it? and how do you encourage someone to use a database anyway?
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Vom on Gran appears right after The Michael Gross Graboid Hour
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or I'm going to wait until it's nearly ready to go out and sue the motherfuckers. It seems to work for them.
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See you soon chaps
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"hey guys, um, yeah this database if off the fucking hook, did you know that if you use it, Jessica Biel will come and tickle your nuts?"
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i stood outside in the rain and snow for 45 minutes bashing ice off the car just to have to come in and work
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Equate it to the nice whore that your management goes to see every week. It'll jiggle their giga bites.
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I had to shovel a few inches of slush, and my driveway ain't short.
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it is like an ice skating rink out there
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how is everyone feeling this morning?
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and I never made it to class. Usually it takes about 45 or so minutes to get to school. Last night I was on the road for 2 hrs and 15 minutes and I was still like 40 minutes or more from school. I made the executive decision to cut my losses and head back home. It was starting to get pretty slippery up that way, so I said fuck it. Not worth it.
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it was horrible down here, people were all over the road. Almost got hit by a semi-truck on the way home. Fuckers don't know how to drive
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I'd have binned it long before.
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I hate when people can't be reasonable about situations like tht which could cost you your life
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Don't they assume that most people will either be on Campus or fairly near it? They don't take into account "mature students" (I hate that phrase)
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I keep having to refresh the page 20 fucking times to get the TB to appear. It's most annoying.
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'mature students' is a ridiculous phrase
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but you never know when a glitch could set in
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is stupid because you are either a student or you are not. It is an occupation, not a fucking classification- you don't have "mature doctors" or "mature binmen". Ridiculous.
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for the old person who is older than most old people
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just older.Yeah, we'll see what the Professor says since I sent him an email telling him I bailed out going to class, if they even ended up having class.And for once, I'm problem free with the site.
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it would be so weird for me, I'd feel so out of place
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The screen goes white then the brown AICN top and harry's horrible animation come up, and that's it. I keep having to press refresh until the purple/blue line with the links on it appears.
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I went back and did my law conversion. It was horrible, I was a good 6 years older than everyone else (and this was purely postgrad). I grew to hate them all, and just stopped going to lectures. (I did pass) the thought of going back to a nay-kidding uni full of kids over a decade younger than me doesn't bear thinking about,
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It is most definitely weird the first time you go back after your initial four year degree. This is the second time I've gone back, and by this time I'm totally indifferent to it, if you know what I mean. I just want the classes to be fucking done with.So then Jarv, you've got THE WHITE SCREEN OF DOOM with shitty Harry animation. That sucks.
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that was happening to me a few days ago. Try just closing down the window, and opening it up again. See if that helps when you run into that problem.
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than me I just feel really out of place. They are a completely different type of people. It's weird how much the generation gap has changed
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If you do then open your "Extras"console and click on the second option from below.Then click the "delete all private...."(i got the german fox,but you will see what I mean).Sometimes Firefox has that problem,I had it once and that helped.
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haven't seen you around lately
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watching!But if a fellow TB is in need for some help "SUPERTRAVIS" is there!;-)and fot the MILF`s!
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gnar
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only 13 on topic. I saw some hot Patricia Heaton last night
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and consoling me after my long drive last night. She brought her paddle boat, so she should make it to Abom's today.
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http://tinyurl.com/2z95k5
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with Braff's mom.
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Feb 13, 2008 8:58:31 AM CST
that's the exact same dress she wore for me last night
by just pillow talk
well, she wore it for a part of the night.
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did you make her call you Raymond?
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on braff's mom as well. a very large probe-droid
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my user name. "Oh Pillow" or "Can I fluff your pillow" or "get a load of my pillows".
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nice TITEEESSSS!
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cause Abom didn't hit it that hard.
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"pillow jizz"?
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Heaton cried out to the sky as you rammed her from behind
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Stupid work won't let me download firefox. I'm doing nowt today
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perhaps 2?
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glovedone's mom knows it all too well...
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cheers on that one! Setting the bar pretty high
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Yes, those boys love their DTV plus other miscellaneous crap. Their dedication to the higher art of thread hi-jacking is admirable.
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did you see Braff turn up above? fool. He's just asking for a slap, and he ignored the olive insult- which hurts my feelings, especially as I followed his instructions
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I'm surprised he didn't say something back to you Jarv, something like "you are gay! so unoriginal! OWNED!" and then leave again. Pillow, dude that In the Heaton of the Night cracked me up
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since no one specifically addressed him immediately after he posted.
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Deniro and Pacino in "Heaton". Ouch. She's getting to old for those kind of gymnastics.
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Baby got backdraft!
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that means he went to look for nude pictures of Zack Braff while masturbating furiously to the soundtrack from Batteries Not Included
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It is surprising that we don't get banned for some of these things. Did you lot see that Quint or Merrick or whoever it was dissed Scream (of all things), I'd argue that Scream as "postmodern, and like, y'knew, ironic and shit," saved horror.
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Feb 13, 2008 9:25:02 AM CST
"masturbating furiously to the soundtrack from Batteries Not Inc
by lost jarv
genius, nasty but absolutely brilliant
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I liked the first one the sequels were shit, but I think that most people like to hate on scream only because of the followers it spawned, and as much as I hate those movies, I agree that Scream was very influencial in the success of the horror genre. Thing is that it is really hard to find a really good horror film these days. It's easy to find a good bad horror movie, but there is also a lot of just shit. Like all the J-horror remakes and the like
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was fucking Brilliant. It was an innovative take on a very tired genre. Unfortunately it did give the world Kevin Williamson, post-modern ironic horror, and worst of all Scary Movie. It's a pity because the original scream, as faux-knowing as it is, is a cracking little movie. I don't get the hate for it.
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is fucking wonderful, when she turns on the porch light and see's her boyfriend stapped to a chair with his guts hanging out is just great
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wtf?
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The opening in Scream 2 is also great. The rest of Scream 2 is shit though, and the less said about Scream 3, the Better.
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any 'horror' movie with Jay and Silent Bob should be banned. That's a true Video Nasty
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This is a discussion about the merits of the first scream, Patricia Heaton, school, and other assorted non-related Bond tidbits.
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or a "Deathstick". FUCK YOU GEORGE LLUCAS
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just read the preceding 700 posts and you will understand
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you'll see there are none that pertain to Bond and his cab.
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and his hunting art
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and who doesn't when they post, especially in one of our "borrowed" threads...
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that pic is just classic. I still chuckle thinking about it.
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keep up the random posts! Maybe this will overtake hercules' Lost TB- Regards, SJ
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Jarv, do you guys have those annoying TRUTH commercials over there? It's the ones that talk about how cigs are bad for you. AS if we don't already know that
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It only seems to happen if I have more than one browser window open. How annoying, I've got actual work to do, that needs the other windows open. Bollocks.
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No work!
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for Global warming using kids? While I'm all for providing more ecological friendly means, I hate it when they use kids to try and get the message across.
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Michael Gross style
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I also cringe when I see the Anti-Drug commercials. If anything they make me want to do more drugs
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and I'm not convinced Global warming is a bad thing- it's a lovely spring day here-especially as we're overdue for an ice age. Which would suck
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Fire being a Tony Jaa FLK to the face, and Ice being the Bate's nether-regions
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Fire being a TJ FLK and the suspicious fishy grease that emanates from THE BATES' nether regions.
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cause the FLAMING LEG KICK would probably get too close to the fishy grease, which would light up like no tomorrow. So could that be the real reason for global warming? Tony Jaa getting too close to The Bates?
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it is a highly potent mixture, and most people can't even live through the aroma, however if you cook fries with it, it does make a suprising flavor of gooseberry
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until she collapses in on herself forming a massive black hole that will extinguish all life on the planet. Maybe 2true will save us. I heard him say that humanity is merely one of his playthings, but one of his favourites.
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im not ignoring you, sweety. Just working. and I DID LOVE your olive retort. Congrats!
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was when Rose McGowan got crushed in the garage door. That's an example of why it was so good- it was inventive.
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without the use of Spice
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or a reboot as they call it these days
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That's what your mother calls me when I come in her hair. And you calling me that is just disturbing.
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she hadn't slept with Marilyn Manson. She reminds me of a better version of Christina Ricci
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can you imagine anything more awful than that? He'd want to do it all serious, which would be fine, but his version of serious= trailers/ rednecks/ torture porn. We would get to see the virginity losing scene though.
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"you guys are so gay...OWNED".
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where she gets naked. And it is actually a good film as well.
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if you don't get butt-raped by a guard at a mental instution you'll be killed by the giant Scream monster
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fucked someone undesirable then the world would be full of desperate virgins. Seriously, there is 6 degrees of minger. It's a well known fact. You can get from your current wife to a complete munter in 6 steps.
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http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2576128256/nm0000535
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Checking out the movie Jarv mentioned. I always wanted the Charmed chicks to bust into my house and have their way with me. I'd put my little demon in them....
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where the IMDb second Key word is "Female Nudity" Ignore those po-faced fucks on there. They don't know what they're talking about.
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is that like paying bills?
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see you guys later
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You see some of the people that you picked up when you were a boozed-up undergraduate student now..... Brrrrrrrrr, frightening stuff.
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are when you hide behind the sofa from the baliffs. No, wait, I'm getting confused with Braffed's "adult situations".
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I see, I show up. Give everyone a nice pleasent "good morning" and you proceed to try and trash me. That's nice...
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1) When he has to explani himself to the nice poice officer as to why his penis is hanging between school railings 2)When he tries to run away from the store detectives (but is in fact too obese to get anywhere) who think it is unreasonable to have eaten the bodyweight of a killer whale's worth of OLIVES. 3) When he has to explain to the nice cleaning lady in a hotel that he was watching that guy-on-guy porn with his cock in an OLIVE jar for solely educational purposes. 4)When he has to go to the vet (he isn't allowed in the doctor) for removal of OLIVE pitt from penis. I could go on with this, but you get the idea
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for using OLIVE oil as a lubricant.
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Next step. Try and come up with something on your own. I provided you with OLIVES. Now I want you all to put your collective minds together. Granted, it's asking a lot, but I'm confident that if you take your dicks out of each other long enough (i know it's hard, Pillow) that you guys can do it. Maybe by coaching you for a month or so it is possible for all of you to match my wit. You have a hour....
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The point was that you wanted to see something original that didn't use things like star wars and creatively used the word "olive". The implication being, that we would be too stupid to do it. We've now effortlessly come up with several different bitchslaps for you, all of which contain olive. It wasn't hard. Now fuck off.
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You are so simple. If it wasn't so easy to bait you and your little "friends" I would be bored. I really hope that you guys stay this predictable. It's good to know that you can count on some things in this world. I could say something like, "I can count on your mom to keep her blow-ob rates at 3 dollars" but I would bring myself down to your level and quiet frankly, I like the view of all you simple-minded jerk-offs from wayyyy up here.
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I KNEW that when I gave a kind greeting, you and the rest of the girls, would jump in and say the usual shit. You see, the fact that I can be 2 steps ahead of all of you makes me a better person. Almost devine. If you all behave, I might keep posting and give you all something to "bond" over. I guess I've given you all a new goal in life. I bet the whole "Wampa vs. Warwick" was getting a bet stale.
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This little play that I have made is better than the new season of Rock of Love. It even has more STD's!
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How old are you anyway drippy little whore?
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Drippy little whore is so 3 days and 2 talkbacks ago...Can you at least try and shoot out another name, Rosebud?
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need some help?
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It fits you to a "T". So how old are you? You can give me a ballpark number if you'd like.
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as a matter of fact, I just might be. Now get to thinkiing, son. The family is counting on you!
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once upon a time there was a Yak. This Yak loved to eat the shit of other yak's. Once it stumbled upon a great steaming pile of shit, which was filled with the seeds from a Datura plant. Now the Yak, not knowing the dangers of the Datura, procceeded to eat the shit as it normally did. Three hours later the Datura had driven the Yak insane and caused it to leap blindly off of the nearest cliff. When it hit the bottom it's intestines were jetisoned from the Yaks rectum at a speed that would make Michael Gross in a 50K run cry. Packed in the heat of the intestines, the half digested datura shit sprouted a tiny seedling. This seedling grew taller and taller until it had infected the ground with it's poison filled vines. The plant had an odd shape which looked like a mix between a troll and zach braff's chin. This plant sucked all the life out of every living being around it. It also gave off an aroma of cheetos and poop which would drive the villagers away from their huts. Soon the plant sucked up so much soul and filth that it began to have the ability to speak. Although it could speak, it was retarded and could only uses phrases such as "owned" and "gay". No one liked this plant at all. Soon a haggerd old witch decided to take the plant in under her hairy wing and raise it as if it was her own spawn. Soon the plant grew to the ripe old age of 13 and still no one liked it or thought it was funny. It continued to feed on shit and it's mother's pussy drippings. It died alone and unloved. The end?
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Feb 13, 2008 11:36:18 AM CST
it's not that hard a question drippy little whore...
by just pillow talk
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I'm off to lunch. That gives you about an hour. Toodles!
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then you're even more pathetic than I thought.
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how could you do that to us man! We don't deserve it. We're just like you but much much colder
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I just ran out through the downpour of rain, puddles the size of the Great Lakes, all to get a fucking sandwich since my stupid work's cafeteria is closed due to the "chef" (using the term loosely) calling out sick.
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You and your gorilla arms!
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we get women in parkas so HA...wait a minute
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He's a pile of Yak dung. So Xiphos, by acres and acres of tanned skin, that's all the flab of these enormously overweight women. Right?
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tanned skin smells like shit
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Feb 13, 2008 12:24:48 PM CST
was watching A Perfect World when I got home last night
by just pillow talk
It's amazing that no matter how old Clint was in a movie, you knew he could kick anyone's ass. I forgot that the dude from West Wing was the gov't sniper. Oh, and Laura Dern...mmm-mmmm!
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and yes Laura Dern is hot
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are filled with fat trailer trash who piss in the ocean and have coolers filled with roast beef sandwichs
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that must have hurt, Sloppy. I'm proud of you. You get the big gold star for the day.
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are like a family reunion to you Sloppy? That's sweet.
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what are your feelings about Batteries not Included?
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the movie or the anal vibrator you bought for Pillow?
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Hi Braffed
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and give me and answer already
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you like to masturbate furiously to the soundtrack from that movie
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You wanna hear it?
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he's thinking up some of his "wit" for us again.
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Feb 13, 2008 1:13:55 PM CST
you must get the shit beat out of you in high school
by just pillow talk
At least when you graduate, you won't get physically beat up. Though I'm sure life will beat you down, but you'll always have your mommy.
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I had anxiety all night dreading the next moment we would have to face down his superior wit. I don't know about you, but I got no sleep.
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Feb 13, 2008 1:16:22 PM CST
have you tried drinking green tea to settle your nerves?
by just pillow talk
It's want us "ants" do when faced with such overwhelmingly superior intellect/wit.
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but still could not get the dread out of my mind.
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Even when he does grow up, he'll probably start running his mouth off in the wrong place and get the shit kicked out of him. BSB, just try weed, it just takes an edge of the nerves
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he must have gotten some of Warwick's Urine because he's showing a messianic complex
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Feb 13, 2008 1:22:23 PM CST
let's hope he doesn't run off his mouth in a theater
by just pillow talk
where 2for2true is at. They'll be hell to pay...
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nothing else really, it is really good
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Hurry glovedone, before the effect wears off, go to the top of your roof and jump. I'm like 83% positive you'll take flight.
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this is a post from TFD a little while ago
BRAFF08
by TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION Feb 1st, 2008
12:48:17 PM
why don't you relax and enjoy your special time receiving some TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION?
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with honey. See, I can enjoy some honey, but not you fucking Pooh. Grow a set of fur covered balls and rip someone's throat out already.
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message. Nice.
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but I don't think they make it anymore
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he posted like 5 telling Braff that he fucked his sister or something to that effect
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hangover dump.
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was in the Indy with Cate Blanchette picture
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/35463 -
right on cue. Damn, I'm good!
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i never saw batteries not included, so go ahead and spring that joke that you have. I know it's been pent up for over and hor
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TFD thing. Is that something you warcraft gamers use?
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before you were born
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I SEE THE VISUAL, TOO.
by TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION Feb 1st, 2008
01:04:06 PM
a big baby who used to blow up frogs with firecrackers is now so fat the can't leave his mother's bed. thanks to his pent up sexual frustration, tiny pecker, overwhelming body odor, and sky high blood sugar, he decides to have a little fun by harrassing people on messageboards while using the name of his fantasy gay boyfriend, Braff. all seems like fun and games until he runs smack into TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION. -
GUARDIN' TAINT?
by TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION Feb 1st, 2008
01:10:58 PM
that's what Braff08's mother was trying to do before i slipped her the stiff rod of TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.BRAFF08
by TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION Feb 1st, 2008
01:13:04 PM
did you know that i have a tattoo on my penis? it says TFD. but when i get hard, it then reads TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION. -
cuz i wasn't born when it was out,right? Very clever...i guess
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if I could just print that above The Gross artwork, I would be in heaven
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your reaching too high, Sunflower. Are you seriously recycling someone elses jabs (if that's what you cal them)against me? They were lame back then, and guess what...they are lamer now. Dig deeper in the TB's and you might find someone a little better to steal from
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No one would fuck with you when going to get your morning coffee.
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CLEANUP NEEDED IN SHOES 'N MILK AISLE!
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Feb 13, 2008 1:44:41 PM CST
rosebud, sunflower...are you mommy's little gardner?
by just pillow talk
I also find it amusing that finky calls him assbraff.
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I'd buy that shit, drink straight black coffee out of it and hit people in the face who passed by with it. For some reason I just got an image of Hunter S. Thompson sitting in nothing but american flag boxers, smoking a cig, with a visor and sunglasses, holding up that cup
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it's filled with people calling him an asshole, he was under glovedone then
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you know why
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charming lad. what a tragedy.
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I can't think of any other reason why he keeps coming in here. I'll be he's got the batteries not included soundtrack blasting right now
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just fun to make you guys dance.
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you call us pet names, you constantly search everywhere to find us, you keep picturing us in gay situations. I think you are in LOVE
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not interested in joining your Wampa clan. You can go ahead and be the alpha male of that man-sandwich
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I'll go check the Renfo obit now....
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I watched a behind the scenes vid last night and was much impressed. My only worry is that they'll try to ramp up the action too much and fall into the gadgets/set pieces trap made the Bond franchise so tired and stale. Give me more Monte Carlo card games, stick with the Ian Flemming formula, and I'm happy as a clam.
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you like to pretend you aren't and yet every half hour or so you pop back in because you want to see us again. You seriously want us to fuck you. We aren't gay, but that's ok if you are, just don't fight your feelings. You are just a boy in love. But we hate you, so you should just let it go
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Bond has a market on the genre. It's worked for years and one shouldn't stray too far from that formula. That's the biggest difference between Bond and Bourne
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can't find some guy that will love you. We all have wives and familys, but at least you have your Taye Diggs poster, your batteries not included soundtrack, and your furious masturbation to look forward to for the rest of you sad little life
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stop projecting, moonbeam. I'm not the one with hordes of male-followers on this site. For god sakes, when you guys say good morning to each other it's like a god-damn lifetime movie.
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Feb 13, 2008 2:08:25 PM CST
Yeah, but I don't want an overblown Bond genre piece...
by rickey henderson
And Casino Royale avoided being one. It boiled Bond down to his pure essence: a spy wearing a tux playing cards. If they're using the last movie as a jumping off point for wilder and crazier shit (the inclusion of Al Pacino, for example) then I'm not on board with that.
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Did Mr. Saxon get zapped as well? It seems his posts were deleted in that thread.
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Casino Royale was ok. I kinda lsot intrest towards the end. A boiled down version with less complexity would be nice. Can't see Pacino doing anything new to bond villian. He's been playing the same role for years.
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but you can really feel the love for glovedone in there
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all of your bullshit crashed the server
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you really are in love with us. I haven't posted anything in almost an hour and yet you come back in here, hoping to see us. You are just looking for the gentle touch of a man to service your needs. But we aren't gay, you are the one obsessed with us. I'm sure there is a chat room for homosexual trolls somewhere.
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How goes it, sunshine?
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doing well, Rainbow
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See you later.
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Braffed really wants to suckle on your balls, like a piglet in the trough
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or was that a little passive agressive comment. love to get under that skin.
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That does sound pleasurable ... but don't mean I'm gay okay.
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Sloppy and Brokeback together again. Lame-ass comment powers...ACTIVATE!
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Feb 13, 2008 3:48:18 PM CST
DIDN'T KNOW SUPERFRIENDS REFERENCES FALL UNDER SUPERIOR WIT
by bringingsexyback
Otherwise I coulda had some doozies.
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I was trying to speak your language. Should I have used star wars references instead?
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and really, the whole "twinkles" thing is just stealing my act. Again, it's called being original.
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I hate Star Wars. You can do something with 300. That should be ammo a'plenty. Try again.
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I know that it makes you feel big and important when you use ALL CAPS! But, really it is a sad, pathetic cry for attention. Lay off the cap lock, Bubbles. It's ok, you still have your gang of misfits to stroke your ego...or anything else that needs a-strokin'
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isn't that the movie where a bunch of half-naked men are all greased up and fight other greased up men? I guess I can see why it's your favorite.
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Well, the caps thing has been said to death. Everyone's called me on it so you're treading some tired ground there.
As for 300, yeah that's the movie. I watch it practically everyday. Now if you can rustle up some biting references and manage to hurt my feelings ... then you win a prize. Good luck, dimples. -
Check this out: http://www.you tube.com/watch?v=hRH4gG5LmZ0
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If Zach Braff is the voice of my generation, can't someone please crush his larynx?
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Seems like life has done enough to you. oh wait, i want you to really understand that point, so here goes; SEEMS LIKE LIFE HAS DONE ENOUGH TO YOU. better?
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And you already used that before. Lack of reference content too. 0 for Originality and Reference. Try again.
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that was good enough.
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looks like a vulture
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[Zach Braff] sounds like every one of those douchebag, bar-creeping guys that I've ever met. I would have a very lucrative enterprise if I was given a dollar every time I was told I "have great boobs" at a bar. Guys like him are incredibly annoying, but the girls who actually go home with them are much worse. The day I bed one of these tools will be the day I learn what a samurai sword to the stomach feels like when I perform hari-kari.
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Life is too short to idolize unattractive actors with mediocre skills [he was talking about Braff]
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always a pleasure dragging your souls through the dirt. Get some rest, Angels...kiss
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Talk about over-hyping.
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Good work men
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oh my god !!! i dont give a crap !!
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Late night pussy runs are great.
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It's like punching a punch bag- sure you hit it, and it moves, then it swings back into place. So you hit it again, and it moves again, and it swings back into place. You can keep hitting it, but you'll never make any real progress with it.
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Even better is when you manage to talk her into coming to your place. sigh, I'm being all nostalgic about my student days
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you see, I think he is telling the truth when he says he hasn't seen it. You don't need to see a movie to buy the soundtrack
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That would be a shame.
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we'll keep it going, i'm going to work in a little while so we'll have time
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What's the good word Jarv?
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my wife has the flu so our Valentines Day plans are cancelled
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Well, if she's better by the weekend, you can go out then. I posted your Gross hunting pic to the DTV thread since someone mentioned the Gross. I wasn't sure if you posted it already or not.
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Merriman is an ass.
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the world needs more Gross
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he's one of those "i hate everything" type of people I gather
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Sorry, I was temporarily detained in a slab of carbonite yesterday. The hibernation sickness will wear off after I've read some of yesterday's entries...I see Patricia Heaton is now a topic. She's someone I'd like to bang the pout out of.
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good to see you made it back from Hoth ok
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except I didn't see Michael Gross or Fred Ward in it. Or olives. That's a lot to make up for. And it looks like there's gonna be a temple sequence where the stones shift around, a la AVP. Which can't be a good thing.
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I'm surprised your eyesight has returned so quickly.
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Nah, there's no way you can compare any scene in Indy to the abomination (sorry) that was AVP.
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going to see another Indy movie. I never thought they would do another one. I'm still waiting for Gremlins 3
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Yeah, but there wasn't any sound. I must have been doing something wrong. Also, I didn't see any Marion in the trailer. Where's my milfen heroine?
As for the stone-shifting, hopefully you're right and either I misread the images or Steve and George have something else planned. Like maybe the temple converts into a GIANT FUCKING ROBOT FROM SPACE!! -
Darabont's script
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I would have thought they would have at least showed her for an instant. Or they uncover The Gross in the temple. He's ready to battle tremors in the past! What year did he go back to Kloipy?
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not sure of the definite date but it was awhile back. His mustache started to spin and sent him on a time warp...again
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Because a few of the official promo pictures have Marion in them. All us geeks know she's back. So why not give us a couple shots of her in those cute pants and that milf vest?
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and have him try to thwart all the presidential assasinations. Of course, that would totally fuck up history. But what fun it would be onscreen. Maybe a couple graboids could accidentally go back with him. Is that what they're called, those tremor pac-men?
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of the world when he went back. I mean, really, who could match up to him back then?
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fight the future
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a can of kerosene will spill on Gross' leg, and he will use a FLK on the Russkies. It will be FUCKING SWEET.
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could match Gross, because 2true exists at all points in time, simultaneously.
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so much so that he has his own artwork and soon to be line of coffee mugs and mouse pads
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I bet he drives a diesel car and sits at parties boring people with "my car gets 85,0000 miles per gallon, NEEEEEEEEEH"
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and asked him to stab braffed in the mouth with a pencil. 2true responded from his celestial seat with "No, my loyal servant, Braff is the king of the shitheels and has been sent to test you all. Now sharpen your pencils, and ready yourselves for war". I think he's a bit grumpy today
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with 2true-esque lyrics. But I couldn't be bothered. I might do that today.
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open on an empty dusty plain. in walks Michael Gross, a vulture lands on his left shoulder and a coyote kneels before him
"Good evening, I'm Michael Gross. You might remember me from such roles as Burt Gummer in Tremors 2:aftershocks, or Burt Gummer in Tremors 4:Time Tremors. I'm here to let you know that I have a new line of patented Michael Gross coffee mugs. For only 19 easy payments of 69.99 you too can enjoy piping hot baby blood in my handcrafted mugs every morning. Just like me. If it's good enough for Michael Gross, it's good enough for you. Well I must get back to time tripping and fighting graboids. So remember, if you you need a dose, you need the Gross"
Michael stands tall, does a back flip into thin air and is gone in a flash. Then in size 2 arial font this rolls past the screen
Michael Gross Mug may cause severe diarrea, internal bleeding, confusion, thoughts of suicide, night terrors, and super-aids. Warning: just because you own the Michael Gross mug does not give you the ability to travel time or fight graboids, only Michael Gross has those powers -
and thats 2True
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A computer is not going to be an awful lot of use when society collapses. Unless you hit looters with it
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there is a secret compartment which holds a pocket knife and a small food supply inside of them
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do you want us all to get stabbed in the mouth?
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Careful man, 2true has no tolerance. He may deem you a shitheel for that and then you'd be in a world of trouble.
Don't forget he's the only entity that can control the bates. -
I wonder if he knows
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because holy shit you are a brave brave man
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I am now wearing a hockey mask. But there's no stopping 2true if he wants to stab me. He can hurl pencils through closed windows--without breaking the glass.
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and no one questions him
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You is what you am, to quote Zappa.
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*peers from underneath desk*...2for2true is not to be mocked. Now I don't suppose you remember which thread he posted to?
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Yee-owch.You shall know of the coming of 2true by the trail of the pencil stabbed shitheels. You need a bomb sheter dude
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We must make him aware of the cult following he's developed.That whole thing is a complete and utter joke. I wish Piazza would bust into his home and beat him with that broken bat. Do the world a favor.
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Juggfuckler, as I remember is all kinds of muscle bound ninja. And $1000 says 2true is a fat nerd with a ridiculously over-aggressive attitude.
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he did stare into the eyes of TRUE evil and lived to tell, so I don't know could be an amazing fight
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We've got our own drugs problems in sport.
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It's just that they keep trying to make me work here. I don't know who they think they are, or what makes them think anything is more important than discussing Michael Gross, Indy Jones, Warwick, Patricia Heaton, Olives, Bears, or Wampas on Valentines Day. The fucks.
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My boss gave me three 'special' assignments, so I'm feeling you on that one. But never fear, i will not be far. Oh and fuck baseball
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I managed to really provoke that tool Merriman into a hissy fit, It wasn't even that hard
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"I'm NOT reading YOUR post ANYMORE! Waah, I suck!"
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and I've got to go into another meeting in ten mins. That sort of shit makes me sad
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make sure you tell them that the Database will make their dick's grow 3x larger if they use it
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Meetings are silly. 2true wouldn't put up with it. He'd see what needs to be done, and he'd simply tell people to do it. Meetings are what they have now because women infiltrated the work force and they wanna make sure everyone feels included. They don't want anyone offended by some big nasty man boss running around giving orders. That's too much like a real job. Jarv, be sure to offer to stab some people with a pencil.
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I'm not a huge baseball fan, but I can see the purists' concern that the games biggest stars might be juicing up. On the other hand, you could give me all the HGH in the world and I wouldn't be able to hit the tamest fastball. We're talking, no contact with the bat at all. It still takes a lot of skill and practice to hit a 96mph moving round object with another moving round object.
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make sure you tell them you'll be "actioning" their Database. That'll harden some cocks. Then stab someone with a pencil, just for emphasis.
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so you can keep going to the bathroom
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if football players stopped juicing up too. Perhaps they wouldn't get hurt my touching a hash mark or actually letting someone hit the QB.
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but for throwing it at people's heads. All due to 2for2true inspiring me for random violent acts.
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I hope you know I'm kidding, at least about the "women at work" angle. I think all offices should have lots of women. Because the more you have, the more likely some of them will be good looking. And even if they're aren't a lot of hotties, even the sort-of-good looking ones go up notch by way of what I call the "environmental theory." There are maybe three here I'd desperately like to sex-a-tize with my winky wombat.
Our work meetings aren't so bad. Just boring. You want to talk about bad, or pain, where I work, then we'd have to discuss our mandatory training sessions. Now that's torture. Like tomorrow for example, I'll be gone all day in training to learn some shit I learned in both undergrad and grad school, and my eyes will be rolling back and I'll be one anecdote away from a coma. -
And I think 3 - 5 hotties/doable ones are pretty standard for a medium sized office. I have one that has a killer, killer, killer body.
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I have to go for a 4 day class down in Virginia for Excel training in a couple months. I'm dreading that shit
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too bad by that time you go. Drink up my friend and enjoy data sorting and pivoting!
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i use it every fucking day. There better be a free bar down there
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I wish it was like the Office, but it's more like Office Space with the boredom and the stupid people
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you're already very familiar with "actioning" the MS Excel mainframe and that any further instruction will trigger a seizure. They'll pop wood at your knowledge, but be ready with a pencil in case they insist on more training. Also, I liked your story of the Yak / plant.
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THE MOST FUCKING POINTLESS 45 MINUTES OF MY LIFE> AAAAAAARGHHHHH I HATE MIDDLE MANAGEMENT. And I was sad to find out that stabbing people with a pencil is apparently against policy. I told them 2true had nothing but disdain for their shitheel policy but they weren't intimidated. I think they're Atheists.
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That was spookily accurate. I have actually worked in places where I had 4 different managers to answer too. And the coffee was shit too.
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are always around. Seriously, no, not at all like The Office like Kloipy said. Office Space is a more apt comparison. Most of the people you work with are just plain boring. Those are the people I stab in the mouth to get some reaction out of.
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Get them to rewrite the policy a tad. I've gotten them to allow mug throwing, pencil stabbing, and body part stapling. Progress is slow. I keep telling them this is the 21st century, 2for2true's century!
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I'm a civil servant working for the City of Cleveland in the court system. So when I say "office," it has a lot of the private sector concepts of what an "office" is, plus a whole lot of BS politics. I'd be more specific about which court, but that would risk giving away my secret identity! I will say that unlike "Office Space," I do have a real office of my own. You gotta be here a long time for that to happen. Pillow, the blonde-haired blue-eyed recently divorced hottie next door has an ass to die for. It breaks my heart. It's like exquisite torture to be able to come to work and enjoy looking at it, yet not able to touch...sigh.
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On the floor--you have to take the elevator down to forth floor to get it. Some people go to the cafe, but around the corner is one of those blind man stands. That's where I go, because the coffee is cheaper and better. I like the 'normal' maxwell house type stuff. I don't go for the Starbuck Caribou swill.
I like when I stab people in the jaw from the side or behind, and the tip rams out the front and ruins a couple teeth. -
"Have a great night! See you tomorrow!" I take that to mean "I fucking hate you! Rot in hell!"
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my secret identity is essential if I'm to keep fighting crime on the mean streets of North London.
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then I wouldn't have to anyone but nature. and I'd get to shine my flashlight on kids trying to do it in the woods.
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"How was your weekend?" I take it as an invite to staple their genitals to their desk and stab them in the mouth with a pencil. Seriously, I'm one "proactive" meeting from killing someone.
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It is actually quite useful in a non work contect, simply because using it identifies the user as a complete shitbag. It drives me mad- people used to just do things. And things got done. But that isn't wanky enough so they then "actively" did things. And things got done. But that still isn't wanky enough so now they "proactively" do things. AND NOTHING GETS DONE. MEETINGS GET BOOKED, BALLS GET JUGGLED, I GET BORED, AND NO ACTUAL FUCKING WORK (which is funny given the amount of work time I squander here) GETS DONE. It's a poncy, meaningless, useless excuse for a word. Wankers, all of them.
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how in every meeting it sound like they are reading out of a textbook. Talk to me like a human being, please!
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but that's only in my head
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So then Shrapnel is more desirable than excel training. Wait a sec...you may be on to something.
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The return of the homewrecker- Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the TB....
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i hate that douche
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or have to pick shrapnel out my ass. But that's because I'm a coward that can't fight sleep- You're a much braver man than almost every trash talking TB fucknut here, Xiphos. Except 2true, but he's more machine than man nowadays.
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I think. Ten worst trolls (In no particular order): AnimalStructure, M-o-M, Zfisk, Braffed, Gingertwit, Mercier, JarJar4PRez, Phartegod, Nodiggity, Gabriel Grey. Jesus, I didn't even include Ringy, Fettatastic, Vikingkitty, Kal El Vis, Elvis Cole lives, ForeverTJ, Emeraldboy etc. There's some right fuckers here.
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And the other one that drives me absolutely batshit crazy is when you've reached the end of the agenda and it's up to "Any other business" and you're half way out of your chair and this cunt from accounts always comes out with "In my Humble opinion I would like to talk about...." and bores you to death about optimum paperclip consumption or some such shite. That's how "promoting database use" snuck into my job. To begin with, cuntybaws, you don't think your opinion is humble. In fact, you think it is probably the most important opinion in the universe. And was this shit essential? I need a therapist.
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anchorite-that is fucking crazy, if someone said that shit to me, I'd love to throw boiling hot oil on them. I'm in telecom for a medical company and the people at the sites we have are all fucking assholes
Jarv, that is one scary looking list right there -
I may get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in, like, 20 years. Scary.
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because I work in the most evil company I've ever worked for (I don't say this lightly, as I've worked in Music, Gambling and the NHS.) There is a lot of middle management never going to be upper management, ever, cunts here. So they love to talk like this. They think it makes them sound like consultants, when it actually makes them sound like morons.
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a lot of these douche bags think that their job is their life, they probably talk about work on their off time, and spend more time at the office then at home with the family.
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Feb 14, 2008 11:03:08 AM CST
It is scary how many people define themselves by their job
by lost jarv
I walked into the company the other day wearing my "I bring nothing to the table" T-shirt. My manager had a shit fit. Next casual day I'm going to wear my "I am not a target market". Humourless cunts.
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my companies idea of casual day is a polo shirt and jeans. We aren't supposed to wear anything with words on it. I bet those people who live for their work will have something like "He diversified life" etched on their grave
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you've got their numbers!
I'm careful not to define myself by what I do, although it's hard not to have a cynical world view. For the most part, though, I go home and don't think of this place. Except for the women and their splendid asses. -
but he's like diet Gabriel. And good riddance to animalbits.
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they make a fine couple. I'm off to lunch now
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My friends all work in different industries, so none of us ever want to talk about work- sport, movies, breasts- shit like that, but never work.
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Here's my office's idea of a "dress down day." Say the Cleveland Indians make the playoffs--which they did last year. If you pay $2-5 bucks for some charity, you will be allowed to wear your Tribe attire. Which means you can wear, say, an Indians shirt. But no jeans.
Or conversely, they'll collect for some other charity, and if you donate you CAN wear jeans. But you must wear a shirt with collar. It's like, there's no point. I never participate, cuz I don't have any sports apparel. Just bandoliers with pencils and a loincloth. -
yelling, "Next time you have a chance to kill someone...don't hesitate!"
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It's been emotional. See you tomorrow,
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you made me almost choke on my gum.
I introduce myself to all pretty female hires like this:
"Do you think it's improper to tell a woman at the office she's attractive?"
"Umm...no, I suppose not, under the right..."
"You're SO hot." -
I got caught on the way out of the door.
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And I'm sitting in front of a PC generating reports. I'm going to get home to a very pissed off wife.
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you can ask a chick at the office, "Would you mind telling me when you leave someplace? Because I'm going to sniff your chair when you're gone."
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that's cool, but you can cut it shorter like this: Right after the person (hopefully a rilly rilly hot chick) shakes your hand, chuckle a little and say, "That's my jerk-off hand" or "That's the hand I wipe with."
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a guy got fired for licking the toilet seat in the women's bathroom. TrueANyway- The boss has just left, so I'm gone. See you tomorrow.
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What Xiphos said. Didn't he know that's where poopy-coots come from? Shee-it. Begs the question, though, how was the guy caught? I'd love to hear his explanation.
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on your part anchorite. The important thing is that you've learned from the experience and now know to wait until you're the last one in the building.
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it might be okay. Because if you're ready and willing to eat the corn out of a chick's shit, licking the seat is just a warmup.
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walk around muttering to yourself constantly, every other word through in "fuckers" and people may leave you alone
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he sneaks in when he thinks no one is looking and cowers in the rear most stall, rubbing the porcelain and licking the seat, both the top and UNDER it. And he probably jacks off while he does it. I mean, why not, right?
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and call him Mr. Giggles. Whenever the auditors come by to ask me questions on something, I always refer them to Mr. Giggles who sitting on top of my file cabinet. There's always an excruciating silence that is quickly followed by nervous auditor laughter. Suffice to say, inventory is squeaky clean this year.
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to your supervisor indicating that your long-suppressed Tourette's has been acting up again, so they are on notice and can't hold it against you. Then proceed to NIPPLES pepper your ANAL conversations with COCKSUCKER colorful JEWISH words.
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just say, hold on, then drop your pants and lean with your palms against the wall. I've found they usually go away.
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I call her Bride of Chucky. She's had just the right height to teabag while standing up.
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slowly over a period of time, build up a collection of beanie babies and put them in your cubicle. Make foil hats for each one and make sure you put name tags on each individual bear. Fill your cubie until their is only space to stand in the doorway. When people ask about them start crying
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Seriously.
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there was two AP clerks who used to have those things in the cubicle. They were asked to remove them. No tin foil hats though.
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bring in your cd player/ipod. Play only 1 song all day long. "My heart Will Go on" by Celine Dion, only the one with the quotes from titanic in them, when the actors do the lines yell them at the top of your lungs
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simply point out that this way, all the beanies are on the same frequency and can hear you at the same time, while simultanesouly they are prevented from receiving 'malignant communiques from unauthorized channels.' But as you say this, have one hand under your desk rubbing your nubbins.
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wrap everything you have in bubble wrap, including individual pieces of paper and wrap bubble wrap around bubble wrap.
When you go into the bathroom make sure you find a stall or urinal right next to someone else, stand beside them and say 'I HATE MONDAYS!" and laugh at the top of your lungs. Only do this on tues-fri -
I introduce myself with one hand tucked down my pants, and I ask "Have you seen my wampa? Is your tauntaun freshly shorn, or are we gonna have to have a lesson about how to prune our monkey's beaver badge?"
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What the hell does it look like?
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during interviews. I feel it puts the candidate at ease.
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or restaurant with one of those useless valets in the men's room, take a leak at the urinal, then turn around with your pants down and your arms on your hips and say, "Dab me."
I like the urinal scream. I also like anchor's aids sandwich bit. -
All of this discussion is indirectly related to "M," as portrayed by Judy Dench, who is everything that is sex-o-licious in the world of James Bond. And although I haven't said it thus far, I've gotten word that Warwick Davis will make a cameo in "Solace" as a mailbox. Man, if I were 007, I would 0069 with M.
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park your car in the office
hire a singing telegram to read all of your memos
frame a photo of Venus at your desk, write 'home, sweet, home' above it
ask employees if you can write off Valtrex as a business expense
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it's called Quantum of Smallest
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at those two Bond photos above. See in the second photo? That red basket thing with the bananas in it? That basket is none other than Warwick Davis.
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That in "Quantum of Solace," Warwick plays Moneypenny's tampon?
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he stars as a pixel
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grow pot at your desk
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Or when they make their comment, look kind of nauseated and say, "That's the last time I swallow for Bruce! Jesus!"
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Hang small photos of all the US presidents on the wall. An alphabet chart, showing both small and caps, a globe, a skeleton, and dumb slogans like "You are special" and "This is a no-bully zone" all over. Keep VHS movies of Curious George and Wiggles on your desk. Paper plates with fingerpainting on them. And if you're a supervisor, tell your people if they're gonna act like kindergarteners...
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and write "Race" on all of them in big letters. Every time someone asks your opinion at a meeting, pull one out and nonchalantly set it on the table, stating "You've forced me to play the race card."
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bring a bag of fortune cookies in and force everyone to read their fortunes, adding "In bed." Do it at peak lunch hour with the oldest, lamest people. And if any of them do it, laugh outrageously loud and stick one hand in your pants and gyrate it.
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anytime you get in an elevator with only 1 person, jump in front of the floor buttons, take them down to the basement
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who sing gospel songs in the morning. I shit you not, they have like a prayer hour. It's only mildly annoying, since I disbelieve all gods equally anyway, plus, what do they have against the Jews?
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dress up for halloween every day
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and a watering can. Take them into the hottest chicks office with your dick showing through your fly. Set the potted plant on her desk and tell her "I brought this in for you, you're so lovely." Water the plant. Then, when you're sure she's seen your dick, pick up the potted plant and walk out nonchalantly.
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if they email you back, reply with I'm starving
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gives you a direct order or specific instructions and asks if he's understood, make a gun with your fingers, point it at him and say "BEE-YEW! BEE-YEW! BEE-YEW!"
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let them loose
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and make Xs on your shirt where your nips are, and a big X on your pants where your johnson is, and on your ass. When people ask about it, look offended and say, "See? See? Everyone's checking me out! Stop looking at my privates! Jesus, just let me work!"
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I have to go stab some people with this Baltimore Colts pencil
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do not give out location name, just give them an address. When they get there and see it's Chuck-E-Cheese, run out wearing a only a party hat and yell "WE NEED TO LEAVE, NOW!!!"
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go to the funeral and write "Inbox" on the side of the casket in large red letters
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tell them you are into helping the homeless and autopsies
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that says "King of the Jews." When people come in your office and tell you how offended you are, dip your hand in a bowl of water and sprinkle them with some and yell "Out, Satan!" Then tell them they're clean. I like the Chuck e Cheese one.
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and when they ask to see your work, show them a bunch of lovely, high gloss shots of wilderness landscapes and nature settings--except in the lower foreground of each one is a nude reclining woman. Masturbating, preferably. Tell some of the office chicks you'd like to shoot them sometime.
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light incense at you desk, turn on Led Zep at full volume, and just play the flying through space screensaver. When people ask what you are doing, shush them and tell them you are working
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that's great!
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monday morning for 3 hours, practice playing the flute
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to make a "Class of 1989 Folsom County Prison" with head shots, you included, and hang it in your office. Be sure the photo of you has a big smile.
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Offer free classes for nude aerobics. At your house. Women only. Write it in really choppy crayon. If some ugly chick asks about it, be honest and say, "You're not hot enough for nude aerobics."
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dont' share them with anyone.
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end every sentence with "i need you inside me!"
invite everyone to come see your basement
when someone calls your phone, put them on hold and transfer them to a phone-sex line. -
pick people at random in the office, then make a flyer inviting coworkers to come out and celebrate that individual's LATEST ANAL MILESTONE
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if she has pictures of her kids or neices and nephews, say "Oh how adoooorable." When she says something like "Oh yes, that's my so-and-so," cut her off and tell her, no you were talking about her pantylines.
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sign off every email with "two in the pink, one in the stink"
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I like the Indy TB. I'm all about Indy. The trailer was very cool, except for the car chase on the cliff that looked a bit CGI. What else can be said? I dunno. Some will love, others will hate. Here, we solve problems.
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start a romance with her, date for 6 to 9 months. at a special romantic dinner get down on one knee and propose to her. She will accept. Get married. Have 2 or 3 children. Wait until she is on her death bed. And then invite all your old coworkers to say goodbye. When they get there suprise her by saying "It's all a joke, I hate you you ugly bitch!"
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So when people call and you're not there, it's you saying "Ooohh God, Jesus yes, right the....oh, hi. This is______. At the beep, please leave a message and I willllloohhhJesusYESthereI'mgoing to...BEEEEP"
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You gents have come up with some killer shit."Here we solve problems." Indeed, much like alcohol does. Or is that create problems, I've never quite sure.
-
a tape cassette you made of humpback whale songs
-
see if anyone notices a difference
-
Buy everyone a copy of Kama Sutra sex techniques for the holidays. Especially gay coworkers
-
just songs about humpback whales, over 48 songs about them
-
to leave her goddamn curtains open at night because you never get to finish.
-
But no music, just polka singing.
-
it's got a picture of you singing into an old school microphone being shot out of a blow-hole
-
like one of those Riccola swedish mountain boys.
-
then for the next couple of weeks tell people how sad you are that your dog died
-
that's fucking beautiful man!
-
so I did and I actually love it, however you shouldn't have to pay
-
You only eat fish and things that taste like fish or spend lots of time in damp environs.
-
full of dildos and leather and sex toys. Whenever there's work to be done or be discussed, set down the box and pop it open. Don't take anything out--just let people get a look.
-
and if people ask what for, start crying and run away.
-
we were over 130 posts away from The Star Wars TB. Now we're just 30 away from it. This TB is immortal.
-
Baby got back!(humpback whale that is)
Humback to Basics
Come on Baileen
Down in a Blow Hole
Johnah's Blues
China Narwall(extended remix) -
it's def. not as good as MST3K, but I still gotta give love because I'll take what I can get from them
-
yell "JENGA" as loud as you can and then knock everything off your desk
-
stab some people with pencils. Training tomorrow so I likely won't be around again until Tuesday. Unless I get really bored over the weekend or stranded on Hoth again. Later peoples
-
sign them up for issues of Basset Hound Quarterly and Elderly Porn magazines
-
stare at his penis and say "I guess you didnt take those pills I gave you" firing will ensue
-
stare at it's things and say "go fuck yourself"
-
walk around the office ringing a bell
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fucked
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when you pass everyone on the freeway and you realize you aren't in a car
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you enjoy yours as well!
-
hope to see you all tomorrow
-
And Happy Indy Trailer day
-
farted on his girlfriend for valentine's day. Because he is disgusting. And ugly. That is all.
-
Other cracking office gags include: Go up to the sad woman with the "You don't have to be mad to work here but it helps" sticker on her cubicle wall and stare 2 inches to the left of her head. EVentually she'll ask you something. Whatever it is reply "Custard". Make sure you don't break your stare from just to the left of her head. She'll start crying in about 3 minutes
-
and come into work with a soiled copy of a porn mag. Dump it on his desk and scream in your loudest voice "YOU FUCKING PERVERT. LOOK WHAT I FOUND WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR GARBAGE"
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with someone, wait until there is a big enough crowd and then loudly say "So that's why you can't work with Children, then?"
-
"I might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers."
-
I suppose it's too early for work for you lot.
-
I will be on and off until I get to work. It's still early as hell here
-
It's OK. I've always got at least a 3 hour start on you all.
-
it's fucking freezing here. There's a sever danger of Wampa attacks.
-
it's fucking freezing here. There's a severe danger of Wampa attacks. That will teach me to be smug about the unseasonable spring-like february we've been having.
-
And where the fuck did the second half of it go? very bizarre. And there's like 30seconds between them. My browser is nowhere near that fast
-
those Wampas are sneaky little bastards. Just put in your cassette tape of the songs about humpback whales and you should be fine
-
on 'casual' friday, come in naked, start dancing
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I'm not leaving the comfort of my sofa as of 4PM today (I'm going home early to avoid having to come in on the weekend) and it is meant to be getting to -8 tonight. That's bloody cold. I'm going to get my supplies sorted for the weekend (Beer, Ciggys, junk food) and am not going anywhere. I may play Scarface for a while, or perhaps Final Fantasy 12, but mostly I'm going to rewatch some of my favourite movies- I haven't seen ESB in fucking yonks, so I may have to watch Star Wars again. All 3 of them. DEspite the fact that Ewoks do, in fact, blow.
-
Feb 15, 2008 6:03:22 AM CST
I find that coming in naked on "casual friday" is a bit much
by lost jarv
It's far better to come in with a pair of shoes on. And 1 sock.
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and she has no interest in ever seeing them
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"office night out". I'd rather slam my bollocks in a car door than go anywhere with those fuckers. I can not think of any reason why I would want to be terminally bored whilst being dragged through shitty Karaoke pubs before enduring the misery of "School Reunion" (Which is not so much nostalgia as fucking recidivism). Stupidity on the highest level.
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that sounds dreadful. Seriously don't we see these people enough, why should we hang out on our time off
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when we got married. She hated them all as a result. SHe now likes the OT and considers the PT to be an abomination. But I do question her taste as her favourite is ROTJ because "Ewoks are cute". She will not accept that they blow. Wasn't warwick one of the ewoks? because that is the only defence for them.
-
and the worst is when you get sent away for 2 days on a "Team building exercise". That's as close to hell as I think you can get.
-
I don't know if I should be proud of the fact that I know that much about the man.
if I had to go to a team building exercise, it would end up as a "team killing exercise" -
she fucking loves those movies now. Which means, my wife=kickass chick
-
gotta go run some errands before work. I'll see you in a little bit Jarv
-
Yup, My wife loves die hard as well. I'm just working on getting her to appreciate the joys of TROMA, but it isn't going so well.
-
nor the Die Hards, though she just got me DH4 unrated for my b-day, so I guess that's something. She's very partial to the X-men, except she didn't like the last one (big surprise).
-
that I do. I think she might be a little afraid of me
-
or Army of Darkness. I'm not sure why.
-
except for the first Superman and Spiderman 2. She hated SR, X3 and Spidey 3 almost as much as I did. I was very proud of her.
-
Ghostbusters
ET
and Indy movie
Goonies
Neverending Story
Labyrinth
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
the list goes on and on. Thank God we got Netfilx, let the study begin -
and made me switch it off, she did not like it, although she doesn't like horror movies.
-
Depends on which Evil Dead. Mine doesn't like the first one (I think the tree raping is a bit much), likes the second and stupid lovefilm haven't got Army of Darkness yet.
-
something different. She can't seem to find the humor in the Holy Grail or Spaceballs or Austin Powers. What is wrong with women????
-
when I was a kid. My dad usually doesn't like anything I do, but for some reason he loved Bruce Campbell, so I was allowed to watch the Evil Dead pics at a very young and tender age
-
Feb 15, 2008 7:05:46 AM CST
She's never seen the first one...just parts of the 2nd
by just pillow talk
And still fails to see the mighty humor of Army of Darkness. First you want to kill me, then you want to kiss me. Blow.
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she hated it. I was crushed as Brazil is one of my favorites
-
whoah. I didn't think that was possible. Mind you, mine hadn't seen a Rocky or Rambo film until recently (We got Rocky Balboa off Lovefilm and a bent copy of Rambo 4- which is the dumbest title ever)We've got a similar list, but I keep moving trashy horror up the queue. And taking off horrid shit that she keeps putting at the top. It's really annoying because Lovefilm keep adding "suggestions" to our list based on what they think we want to see, and it's always something tonally similar to Cinema Paradiso. Which is alright, but I couldn't sit through it again.
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I even subject myself to watching some of her horrid movies in the hopes that I can share some classic movie with her. Losing battle.
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How can you not love Army of Darkness.I saw it on a School Trip when I was about 16.
-
I love blue velvet
She loves Jane Austin Book Club -
then you can't like anything
-
she liked that as well. But I think that is because she fancies Christian Bale. She loved Equilibrium, which was surprising, and this is the only explanation I can come up with.
-
But she doesn't like the Dead movies either. It's very confusing. I fucking refuse to sit through shite like Bend it Like Beckham or East is East. I should really compromise.
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Wow, that's cool that she liked Equilibrium. Go tell Grammaton so that he can hijack a thread with his Equilibrium love.
-
My wife will strictly want to watch romantic chick flicks. Though she will enjoy a doc (Supersize Me, An Inconvenient Truth, Who Killed the Electric Car?)
-
But to be honest, I can live with this. She got shitty at me the other day when she overheard me and a mate wondering about the fuckability of Asia Argento- so I have no room to talk. She's full of weird contradictions in her movies- for example, she loves The Thing, but hates The Fly. She loves Alien but hates Blade Runner. It's all very confusing for me.
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My wife couldn't sit through all of NOTLD because it really scared her, but she sat through and liked the Dawn remake. that says something right there. Also she and I both HATED 28 weeks later.
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I made her watch Willow once. Just had to get her to appreciate the wonder that is Warwick
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Feb 15, 2008 7:17:25 AM CST
Goodie little two shoes, goodlie little two shoes...
by just pillow talk
Hmmm...I don't think my wife likes Bale per se, but she did watch Reign of Fire and thought it was okay, but didn't like Rescue Dawn, which I did not either. We both really liked Prestige, but that could be because she likes Wolverine. My wife would never, ever like The Thing. Any time of horror movie, forget about it.
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Yeah, mine likes the Dawn remake. And that she doesn't like the original (she says it's boring) just pisses me off. She does appreciate the wonder that is Warwick. But that's because I've made her watch almost all of the lep movies now, and she likes 2 of them.
-
Everyone must witness the joys of Warwick at least once in their life.
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just saw Rescue Dawn, it was only ok I thought.
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You've got stuff like The Descent lined up next to unwatchable dreck like 10 things I hate about you. It's hilarious. Another weird one from her- she liked The Godfather and didn't like Godfather Part 2. She also likes Apocalypse Now but hates Platoon. Women are bloody strange.
-
Sigh...I'm jealous, again my wife would never watch the Lep movies, even when I've told her they're comedies.
-
"But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
"Oh that's just what we call just pillow talk, baby, that's all." -
Perhaps woman can only handle one movie and not two that are similar in nature?
-
these are ones I tried to get her to watch
Jacob's Ladder
The Thing
TCM (70's)
The Devils Rejects
The Shining -
and then I come home from the pub and find her crying in front of Beaches, or some such maudlin guff.
-
The shining is on the list, and she reckons that she knows someone (she's originally from America) who was a victim of the real Jacob's Ladder injection, so refuses to watch it.
-
They maybe smarter, but not in the important ways: movies, sports, alcohol...
-
I walked in the other day with some mates to watch the Rugby and said "Hail to the King, Baby". She was well unamused. She didn't know it was a quote and thought I was being an asshole.
-
it's like just romantic comedy and horror movies. It's funny to see "Because I said So" right next to "Bride of Re-animator"
-
fuck me, I'm off to queue that one.
-
damn it. I can't remember the password.
-
Feb 15, 2008 7:30:45 AM CST
We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "
by kloipy
Yeah, I love Bride of Re-animator. It's got some good shit and it's funny as hell
-
I didn't know there was a bride of re-animator. That just has to be a classic.
-
or in Evil Dead 1 at the beginning with Scott saying "PARTY DOWN!"
-
he brings to life this creature that is just an eyeball with fingers coming out of it. Have you guys ever seen the movie Freaked? It's a comedy from the 90's it's great
-
I actually canceled Netflix and added the showtime channels to the dish since I have class two nights a week and I was afraid if my wife's movies came in, they would just sit. Which absolutely drove me bonkers.
-
doesn't always have great movies, but they do have Dexter and I fucking love that show
-
True Kloipy, but they've been playing the Descent, and as part of the package, there's the Sundance channel, so I can catch some movies I otherwise wouldn't have seen like 'Let Sleeping Dogs Lie'.
-
remembered. Done.
-
Feb 15, 2008 7:39:54 AM CST
your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys
by lost jarv
I'm glad I checked. She's fucking high priorited Frida and that horrible Piaf Biography and Downgraded Black Snake Moan and Lep in Da Hood. Unacceptable.
-
and if so do you get Fear-Net?
-
I think you need to have a talk with her about that
-
I fucking hate that film. She knows it is banned from the flat. This is a bit depressing.
-
You should see if there is a movie called Slicing Doors and put that on
-
Ye gods, she added Alone in The Dark. And took Beastmaster off. What was she thinking?
-
Help her man
-
is the part where Ash is going crazy after everything starts laughing at him, the way the deer head moves and then he starts cracking up, just something about that scene that is scary as all hell
-
House of The Dead in the DVD Vault of shame at home, and thought I might like to watch it. Weirdly, she's never seen Predator or Predator 2. So I've added them.
-
that's a cool little movie
-
AvP has a higher rating than Predator. This is why democracy doesn't work. There's far too many morons out there.
-
I must say that AVP:R was worse
-
It was good. I've got to stop looking at the ratings on these movies. It's depressing me. And why do they not have Meet The Feebles, Army of Darkness, or Eraserhead yet? They are all listed as TBC. THis is so annoying.
-
That scene in Evil Dead 2 is great Kloipy. I still love when he stabs his own hand and laughs.
-
Shocking load of bollocks. Depressing fact of the day- AvP made more money than every other movie in BOTH franchises. By a long way.
-
is what's her name doesn't get naked. It's just a good film.
-
haven't seen that one in years. I've got braindead on my list as well as bad taste, been too long since I've seen those.
-
action/sci-fi movies ever made.
-
RIGHT YOU INTERGALACTIC BASTARDS, I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!
-
I've only seen AvP, not AvP:R. I just don't understand how it could have made more money than the first Predator or Aliens.
-
it is just depressing. If you love Aliens or Predators you will hate what this movie does to them. If you saw the red-band trailer for it, you've seen pretty much every kill in the movie. It's just utter shit. At least I didn't have to pay to see it
-
I love that movie. Got monster squad on there as well
-
honestly, it's like watching a vicious psychopath eviscerate a teddy bear. Awful shit. I've just discovered she's added "Starter for 10" to the list as well. I'm starting to think James McAvoy is overexposed.
-
I have the first 3 Alien movies and the first Predator movie. That's all I'll ever need.
-
This is not funny. There shall be an exchange of words when I see here tonight.
-
that your wife has put on your movie list Jarv.
-
I did not expect to see his dong flappin' in the breeze in Last King of Scotland (which was a really good movie by the way)
-
it is the worst movie. Seriously. Ask her if she likes watching people drive, because I hope she does because that's all you see for 70 minutes. Then a blow job.
-
Starter for 10 is a twee british Rom Com based around University Challenge. I've read the book and it is about as funny as one of BSB's ALL CAPS headings.
-
had me sit through: The Bachelor with Chris O'Donnell. If I knew of 2for2true back then, I would have wanted him to stab me in the eyes with his pencil.
-
I had to watch RV
-
was playing at, and someone in her office recommended it. Her office is full of cuntybaws, fuckspoons and asspickles. I should have known they would be behind it.
-
is the Almovodar film Tie Me Up Tie Me Down. It's just incomprehensible, unwatchable shite.
-
"cuntybaws, fuckspoons and asspickles"...oh my!Never saw RV Kloipy. Never will.
-
that person needs to be castrated. I'd feel so bad for you if you had to sit through that.
-
it's an indi film but you get to see Ludivigne Savinge naked in it for almost the whole movie, and holy shit what a set of tits on that girl
-
Another absolutely awful movie is Father's Day with Robin Williams and Billy Crystal. Robin Williams raps in German in it. It's fucking horrible and really, really, not funny.
-
http://ponq-review-blog.269g.net/image/LudivineSagnier.jpg
-
now there is a piece of festering shit
-
Crime- starring in shit comedies. For the prosecution: Toys, Father's Day, Patch adams, Mrs Doubtfire, Bicentennial Man, Flubber, Jack, Popeye, RV, Mork and Mindy. For the defence: Good Morning Vietnam. Verdict: GUILTY, Sentence: Written apology to everyone that has sat through 2 or more of the above list and solemn promise to slam his gonads in a piano lid if he even thinks of appearing in a "comedy" again.
-
The Fisher King, I do love that movie. Williams is only good when he is playing a normal person that doesn't need to crack a joke every .02 seconds
-
being human, world according to garp, and Dead Poets.
-
Because you could have One Hour Photo, Insomnia, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poet's Society etc. He has been in some good stuff. Just none of them are comedies. It's surprising that Deniro has more successful comedies under his belt than ex-comedian/ comic actor Robin Williams.
-
most of his comedies, i use that term very loosely are shit as you said
-
and it is actually worse than I thought, you'd think people would stop sending him the scripts for comedies, as his appearance is almost a guarantee that it will blow.
-
It seems now that almost every movie has to involve a love subplot. This needs to end. Not every movie needs people to fall in love. that was the beauty of Once, I mean it's more true than most actual "love" films. I mean you can see that these people have a deep connection, they would be perfect for each other, but it's the wrong place wrong time situation, but you know they won't forget each other
-
who like Death to Smoochy. It's really a bad movie I know it is in my heart, but something about it makes me laugh
-
and I agree, ditch the romantic subplots. They are transparent attempts to appeal to as many demographics as possible and always come across as lame and forced. A classic example is Batman Begins. Did the romance between Bruce Wayne and annoying DA chick need to be in the film? at all? was it comfortably the worst thing in the film?
-
Is that there is no point attempting to appeal to the "female" demographic. A fan of love films is not going to want to watch a Die Hard movie for the Romance. If they want to watch it, then they want to watch it for the action. The romance is just irritating
-
Feb 15, 2008 8:44:45 AM CST
I don't have a problem with love if it is in a romantic comedy
by kloipy
but seriously does every action flick need a romance. Prime example is Spiderman 3. It felt like I was watching a fucking soap opera. I don't want to sit around for 2 hours listening to spiderman talk about his feelings
-
was a shitty soap opera with a bit of superhero action tacked on as an afterthought. Possibly the worst film I saw last year. Either that or 28 weeks later.
-
and I watched it while on herbal medicine and it still didn't capture my attention. and for having one of the largest bugets, the CGI looked like shit
-
Feb 15, 2008 8:54:40 AM CST
I was thinking about this, and there is so much wrong with it
by lost jarv
Sandman killing Ben so you could have some connection between Spidey and him, The whole way the symbiote was handled, Venom, the oracle butler, Kirsten Dunst singing (TWICE!!!!!), Emo peter, Dancing in a jazz bar. I could go on, but it was appaling.
-
It's your friendly neighborhood....oh YOU know!
I wanted to punt a baby seal into a woodchipper when I heard that -
I had such high hopes. The reason that the romantic angle did not need to be done in the third one (never mind the execution of it) was that basically they had resolved their issue at the end of the second one. They love each other. We get it. If you really wanted to pursue how his life weighs down on her (being worried, etc), that could have been handled in some other movie.And the connection with Ben pissed me off because that's not how it went down. It was a no-name crook whom Spidey let go because he was suddenly feeling good about himself.And the reconciliation between the two of them (Sandy and Spidey) was fucking ridiculous.
-
holy fucking shit, did she have to have a 30 minute speech every other scene? and when Spidey kept trying to call MJ constantly that was just a waste of time
-
makes me want to kill every giant panda that is too stupid to fuck to save its own species.
-
Feb 15, 2008 9:08:23 AM CST
the "twist" scene in Harry's apartment was priceless
by just pillow talk
and by priceless I mean an enormous bag of shit.
-
she lives in his apartment building?
-
Yeah, he should have just been boinking that chick the entire time.
-
neither was 2006. 2008 has been better in the UK so far (We got There will be blood and No Country in 2008) with Doomsday and a whole plethora of goodness to come.
-
instead he was too busy 'spinning' his 'web' of lies. hehehehe I made a spider pun.
-
28 Weeks Later, hostel 2, AvP:R, Halloween, Fuck me, what a shitey list.
-
I know people who thought POTC3 was the best one! It was so fucking boring and long. Seriously how can a scene in which people are fighting in the middle of a whirlpool and I'm still bored? that shouldn't be possible
-
I've just been reading some of the IMDb reviews of SPiderman3. Hysterical.
-
but first a smoke
-
Still haven't seen POTC3....28 weeks later, only thing I liked was the farm house in the beginning. Never had any intentions of seeing Hostel 2. And I do not like the Shrek films, so no thanks to numero tres.
-
"I would rather drink a pint of donkey fetuses left out in he sun than have to sit through two hours of that smug little **** again". How funny is that?
-
donkey fetuses
-
the guy's talking about EMO spidey:"Right around this time, I started to wonder if the person at concessions had spiked the popcorn with acid."
-
I sometimes think my cafeteria serves donkey fetuses.
-
Feb 15, 2008 10:01:24 AM CST
what's really telling is that the best review from the moron
by lost jarv
public only gives it 7 out of 10.
-
the previews made it seem like he was much darker, like willing to kill anyone who gets in his way. However they decided to go with dorky ass emo spidey who loved to dance and just act like a total douche.
-
How did you not get that? You just thought he was a whiny dork? How could you make that mistake? It was crystal fucking clear: Hair brushed forwards and Air humping= evil. stupid fucking film.
-
was when Pete kicks Harry's ass in his apartment, throwing his bomb right back in his face. That's the only time they really succeeded in showing how 'dark' Pete was getting. That and perhaps shoving Topher against the wall and destroying his career.
-
see you monday guys. I hope this TB stays up in the top 10. It's been one of our best efforts.
-
any time he got mad, it's like really this is supposed to be compelling or I should be afraid of you. What are you going to do, cry on me?
-
have a great weekend my friend
-
do you think Braff's mom made him go to school? That might explain why he hasn't been in yesterday or today
-
And I get to leave early today. Wa-hoo!Yes, I always thought Tobey wasn't right for Spidey.
-
we don't get off of work for anything
-
I swear I'm going to stab every last one of them in the mouth, with a pen no less. I'll staple their balls together the GAAP bitches.
-
I'm off to lunch
-
Quick break from training. Just stopping in on the lunch hour to shout out to all my Heaton eatin' meat train ridin', Warwick worshippin', 2for2true teachin', bear-fighting muthafuckas. Oh, I forgot. I won't be in on Monday, cuz it's a silly legal holiday (in the U.S.). Have a nice weekend. I'm trying to stay warm on Hoth. It's depressing, but with the strength of 2true in my heart I feel like I could pull the ears off a gundar. Oh, and emo Spidey sucked. Spidey 2 is still the best. Even my 3 and 8 year olds can see that. Except they should have used ALL the footage from the bank fight and train fight (as seen in version 2.1).
-
Adjusted for inflation? Really? Oh, and I agree, AvP:2 was just a bland monster movie at best. Not scary, just kinda dumb. All the humans sucked. I wanted them all to die, and so did 2true. I wanted the Predator to stab them all in the jaw with pencils.
-
I didn't think she was hot, but hey, Peter should have been tagging that action because she wanted it. It would have been like free sex. He could have used her like a toilet and told her to bring more cookies. And her dad could walk in and say "Reeent?" and she'd be astride on him, bouncing up and down with her pigtails and perky little nubbins.
-
from the computer. He must not have cleaned up his room, in the basement. Or maybe he wet his bed again, and his mom scolded him and made him smell it and lay in it after it was cold (a humiliation tactic which probably aroused him). And THEN she grounded him from the computer.
-
I still haven't seen that version 2.1.....Just be thankful that glovedone isn't here. Or maybe 2for2true heard our prayers. Thank you 2for2true!
-
glad to see you man, how's the training going?
-
there will always be another thread that will need some nurturing a la our boneheaded observations and "refreshing" humor.
-
checking out Mori's best of 90's lists and some of Harry's best of year pics.
-
oh and guess whose back
-
I hate to admit it, but I still don't have Conan on dvd. I realize many here are disappointed that it's not the 'real' Conan, but I love that movie. Riddle of the Steel...
-
had to sell my collection a while back and haven't been the same since
-
the cannibal festival they had at the Alamo Drafthouse. Some interesting stuff there
-
definitely my fav 82 movie (yes even more than BR and ET)
-
...looks like I missed a winning talkback. Oh well, I have plenty of Spidey 3 bile I can vent next time around.
-
it's not over yet man!
-
By that I mean this Talkback.
-
We'll avenge you. Or at least 2true will.
-
but they will never take our talkback FREEDOM!!!
-
2true rates this TB. I'm just going to randomly keep posting here. Did you see Node go batshit crazy at me in that Indy TB? Wow, what an overreaction.
-
I had a bunch of people call me out for some unknown reason saying that I said something that I didnt. And they did it like 7 hours after I was gone
-
and I didn't in his case. He's probably on the rag, either that or I pricked his pride by pointing out that his big fucking insight had already been covered twice- and also accidentally shown what an arrogant cunt he was in not reading the TB. tool
-
Or he picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
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